About
AutoExpert is all about cars from Australian automotive expert, journalist and engineer John Cadogan
AutoExpert
English, Cars and Motoring, 1 season, 685 episodes, 3 days, 9 hours, 32 minutes
AutoExpert
English, Cars and Motoring, 1 season, 685 episodes, 3 days, 9 hours, 32 minutes
New Polestar 4: Why it's a pointless, overweight EV
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2/4/2024 • 27 minutes, 3 seconds
Why electronic safety assistance actually makes driving more dangerous
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1/30/2024 • 26 minutes, 13 seconds
Assembling and testing single-post Hero Hoist: 2500kg lifted 1.8m, and fully portable!
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1/28/2024 • 29 minutes, 58 seconds
Burn trees to recharge EVs (latest net zero insanity)
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1/20/2024 • 20 minutes, 29 seconds
Cutting metal: fast, accurate and easy (1 simple DIY trick)
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1/20/2024 • 24 minutes, 21 seconds
EV fast charger companies are collapsing!
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1/17/2024 • 17 minutes, 37 seconds
Recharging an electric vehicle now costs more than petrol...
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1/16/2024 • 22 minutes, 1 second
London e-bus blaze proves electric buses are a joke
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1/12/2024 • 20 minutes, 36 seconds
London e-bus blaze proves electric buses are a joke
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1/12/2024 • 20 minutes, 36 seconds
Carbon credits are a complete scam: Here's why...
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1/10/2024 • 13 minutes, 30 seconds
Tesla Cybertruck: a crash test death trap
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1/8/2024 • 18 minutes, 34 seconds
What is a novated lease? (Full 2024 details)
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1/8/2024 • 27 minutes, 4 seconds
Daihatsu shuts factories after 30-year safety scandal!
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1/1/2024 • 12 minutes, 57 seconds
Hyperloop One collapses into fiscal black hole
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12/31/2023 • 14 minutes, 48 seconds
Chinese SUV passes absurd ANCAP 'submarine' test
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12/29/2023 • 18 minutes, 55 seconds
Tesla Cybertruck has a massive battery problem!
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12/26/2023 • 19 minutes
Vevor portable bandsaw review for DIY fabricators, mechanics and welders
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12/24/2023 • 31 minutes, 57 seconds
Massive EV cement truck fire: official 'explanation' versus the facts
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12/20/2023 • 26 minutes, 3 seconds
Honda slapped with $6 million deceptive conduct penalty
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12/18/2023 • 16 minutes, 18 seconds
Reacting to your recent feedback & criticism (S2 E11)
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12/17/2023 • 17 minutes, 15 seconds
Zero-star deathtraps: Why selling unsafe cars is legal
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12/16/2023 • 13 minutes, 20 seconds
Fuel sticker fiasco: High Court sees it Mitsubishi's way
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12/15/2023 • 19 minutes, 13 seconds
Plug-in hybrid (PHEV): Essential technical deep-dive with Mitsubishi Australia
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12/13/2023 • 40 minutes, 29 seconds
Do not buy an EV without this reality check: long-distance EV roadtrips
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12/12/2023 • 19 minutes, 36 seconds
The 'Catch-22' crash test that doesn't save lives
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12/11/2023 • 33 minutes, 26 seconds
The worst thing about every modern car (Hint: It's 'ADAS')
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12/10/2023 • 29 minutes, 17 seconds
GWM Ora EV might electrocute you! (Recall just issued.)
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12/6/2023 • 13 minutes, 34 seconds
Car rental giant SIXT declares Tesla too expensive to own and run
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12/5/2023 • 20 minutes, 39 seconds
Massive EV truck blaze was taxpayer-funded greenwashing: Here's why it happened
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12/4/2023 • 24 minutes, 12 seconds
Tesla Cybertruck's top 12 failures: Why it's a rubbish EV & a worse truck/ute
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12/3/2023 • 17 minutes, 55 seconds
Mitsubishi Outlander PHEV: Off-road torture test in the Flinders Ranges!
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11/30/2023 • 31 minutes, 51 seconds
ELECTRIC TRUCK FRAUD: Massive EV truck fire on freeway puts thousands at risk
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11/29/2023 • 17 minutes, 24 seconds
Hyundai IONIQ 5 N: Fake combustion in an EV!
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11/28/2023 • 14 minutes, 13 seconds
AdBlue: What is it, and why don't more diesels use it?
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11/27/2023 • 22 minutes, 43 seconds
KILLER EVs: The deadly electric vehicle design flaw nobody talks about - until now
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11/22/2023 • 22 minutes, 3 seconds
Home heavy lifting - with no crane
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11/21/2023 • 29 minutes, 6 seconds
Dual-mass flywheels and driveline vibrations
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11/17/2023 • 19 minutes, 31 seconds
Reacting to your recent EV feedback & criticism (S2 E10)
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11/16/2023 • 27 minutes, 41 seconds
Why EV 'utopia' has become a living hell - for carmakers and EV owners
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11/15/2023 • 23 minutes, 25 seconds
Polestar's worst idea yet? (It's magic...)
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11/14/2023 • 19 minutes, 52 seconds
DIY steel fabrication basics: Welding, drilling, tapping
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11/13/2023 • 31 minutes, 13 seconds
EV versus rooftop home solar: What's actually greener?
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11/11/2023 • 20 minutes, 57 seconds
Kia EV9 electric 7-seat SUV: morbidly obese, and far from green
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11/9/2023 • 20 minutes, 44 seconds
New diesel EVs for the Outback! (Australian innovation at its finest.)
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11/8/2023 • 30 minutes, 56 seconds
Tesla EVs are just too expensive to own - says Hertz CEO
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10/31/2023 • 17 minutes, 40 seconds
How to stick weld (at home) - my complete guide
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10/30/2023 • 56 minutes, 22 seconds
GWM Tank 300 (Wrangler clone): Terrible towing; even worse brakes
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10/27/2023 • 23 minutes, 55 seconds
Elon Musk 'near tears' as Cybertruck digs Tesla's 'own grave'
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10/26/2023 • 14 minutes, 13 seconds
How to fix a stripped thread at home - like a pro!
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10/24/2023 • 27 minutes, 42 seconds
Reacting to your Nissan e-Power feedback & criticism
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10/20/2023 • 30 minutes, 56 seconds
Nissan e-Power hybrid: UK ads banned; Worst hybrid system here
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10/19/2023 • 14 minutes, 42 seconds
Let's roast: Land Rover Defender plug-in hybrid EV!
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10/18/2023 • 23 minutes, 34 seconds
Luton Airport car park fire: What the media is not saying
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10/13/2023 • 27 minutes, 18 seconds
Science -Vs- your Lithium-ion & EV firefighting feedback
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10/11/2023 • 25 minutes, 26 seconds
Apparently we're experimenting on truck drivers now...
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10/10/2023 • 24 minutes, 8 seconds
Another lithium-ion battery fire proves we're not ready for EVs
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10/3/2023 • 16 minutes, 56 seconds
Best EV firefighting technique yet! Stopping thermal runaway...
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9/30/2023 • 33 minutes, 13 seconds
Cheap DIY welding table from scrap steel (under $200)
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9/29/2023 • 29 minutes, 59 seconds
A giant Tesla battery caught fire ... and they just let it burn
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9/27/2023 • 32 minutes, 30 seconds
5 more excellent ways to DIE while welding at home
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9/24/2023 • 23 minutes, 38 seconds
Can a 4WD bullbar cause a $20k engine failure?
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9/22/2023 • 23 minutes, 38 seconds
EV battery vapour explosions: Nobody will admit it's a problem
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9/22/2023 • 19 minutes, 32 seconds
Get started welding at home (part 1): Equipment, protective gear & safety tips
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9/21/2023 • 17 minutes, 44 seconds
4WD Tech: A sanity check on recovery points (aftermarket vs standard)
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9/19/2023 • 19 minutes, 16 seconds
Is your new car actually spying on you? (The unpalatable truth.)
Source information:
Carmakers worst category: https://foundation.mozilla.org/en/privacynotincluded/articles/its-official-cars-are-the-worst-product-category-we-have-ever-reviewed-for-privacy/
Worst brands: https://foundation.mozilla.org/en/blog/privacy-nightmare-on-wheels-every-car-brand-reviewed-by-mozilla-including-ford-volkswagen-and-toyota-flunks-privacy-test/
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9/17/2023 • 17 minutes, 29 seconds
Hyundai N-car updates: new i20 & i30 N, plus outrageous IONIQ 5 N & Kona N
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9/16/2023 • 14 minutes, 48 seconds
Sydney Airport EV fire: 1 battery just incinerated 5 parked cars
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9/14/2023 • 21 minutes, 13 seconds
The Golden Age of Bullsh!t
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9/12/2023 • 24 minutes, 52 seconds
CO2 is the most immediately dangerous gas in car exhaust. (Or is it?)
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9/11/2023 • 23 minutes, 6 seconds
How 4x4 modifications can kill your factory warranty protection
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9/6/2023 • 18 minutes, 38 seconds
Fremantle Hwy: Mercedes EV battery burns ONE MONTH later
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9/2/2023 • 17 minutes, 44 seconds
RIP car dealers? Mercedes-Benz dealers lose $650 million lawsuit
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9/1/2023 • 9 minutes, 50 seconds
Time to roast some A-grade pro-EV nuts
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8/31/2023 • 22 minutes, 14 seconds
Jaguar builds giant EV mega-battery from 30 dead i-Pace EVs
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8/30/2023 • 14 minutes, 29 seconds
EVs are a climate action fraud: Here's why.
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8/28/2023 • 23 minutes, 30 seconds
Torque wrench: the real rules of engagement (extensions, support & universal joints)
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8/25/2023 • 21 minutes, 44 seconds
Everything DIY mechanics don't understand about bolts
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8/23/2023 • 32 minutes, 6 seconds
The ACCC weighs in on the great greenwashing 'zero emissions' lie!
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8/22/2023 • 17 minutes, 28 seconds
Is a plug-in hybrid (PHEV) really ready for the Australian Outback?
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8/21/2023 • 24 minutes, 32 seconds
Magnetic drill test: Vevor 1300W package - best home fabrication kit
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8/20/2023 • 19 minutes, 30 seconds
BILL SHOCK: Staggering $176k Hyundai hydrogen fuel cell repair quote
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8/19/2023 • 9 minutes, 24 seconds
LEAKED PHOTO: Proof from the burnt-out EV on Fremantle Hwy cargo ship
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8/17/2023 • 22 minutes, 14 seconds
How to die while arc welding at home: the top 5 ways
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8/16/2023 • 23 minutes, 9 seconds
The truth about EV battery recycling (it's an eco-nightmare)
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8/15/2023 • 18 minutes, 45 seconds
Vevor ultrasonic cleaner test: The best way to clean mechanical parts.
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8/14/2023 • 10 minutes, 18 seconds
Reacting to your EV versus ICE criticisms & feedback (contains nuts)
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8/13/2023 • 24 minutes, 4 seconds
Will the rise of EVs kill the value of your next combustion car?
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8/12/2023 • 9 minutes, 52 seconds
Killer cars that earned five stars (safety ratings 'fail')
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8/11/2023 • 19 minutes, 7 seconds
Reacting to your EV battery fire criticisms & feedback (contains nuts)
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8/4/2023 • 25 minutes, 5 seconds
The truth about EVs and fire risk in our cities
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8/3/2023 • 22 minutes, 33 seconds
The dumbest thing caravanners always say
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8/1/2023 • 8 minutes, 5 seconds
Runaway 500 EV meltdown on cargo ship: Proof our cities aren't ready for full EV deployment
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7/30/2023 • 16 minutes, 53 seconds
Best affordable DIY metal fabrication chop saw tested (Vevor 355mm)
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7/29/2023 • 29 minutes, 56 seconds
Out-of-control EV blaze (thermal runaway) threatens to sink yet another massive car-carrying ship
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7/26/2023 • 13 minutes, 25 seconds
Don't make this mistake with your home shop air compressor
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7/26/2023 • 24 minutes, 24 seconds
Torque wrench test! (Part 3: Proof that hand position REALLY matters.)
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7/23/2023 • 14 minutes, 35 seconds
Am I wrong about torque wrenches & hand position, again? (Part 2: The facts)
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7/22/2023 • 19 minutes, 5 seconds
The #1 thing DIY people don't understand about torque wrenches (Part 1)
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7/21/2023 • 22 minutes, 42 seconds
How much does air-con (& other powered systems) affect your EV's range?
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7/20/2023 • 9 minutes, 35 seconds
2024 Hyundai Santa Fe goes for 'Ugliest SUV' gold!
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7/20/2023 • 17 minutes, 10 seconds
We're getting EV implementation wrong (and it's not about the EVs)
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7/11/2023 • 7 minutes, 1 second
Jaguar goes all-in on 'feminism first'
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7/8/2023 • 11 minutes
MG4 Excite 51 EV: Q&A - responding to your questions & comments
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7/7/2023 • 20 minutes, 47 seconds
Reacting to your comments, feedback & criticism (S2 E7)
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7/7/2023 • 42 minutes, 34 seconds
BYD Dolphin: Why Australia's cheapest EV is terrible.
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6/30/2023 • 17 minutes, 25 seconds
Don't buy an EXTENDED WARRANTY: Here's why they suck.
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6/29/2023 • 15 minutes, 54 seconds
21St Century Slob Challenge: Why you should (partially) divorce your car
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6/28/2023 • 37 minutes, 46 seconds
Beat the dealer! (How to get your car fixed free using consumer law.)
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6/26/2023 • 20 minutes, 29 seconds
Subaru Crosstrek Vs MG HS: What's best?
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6/23/2023 • 16 minutes, 17 seconds
Massive Tesla Semi production black hole - new data
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6/22/2023 • 10 minutes, 20 seconds
MG4 Excite 51: Australia's new cheapest EV is under $140/wk!
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6/20/2023 • 33 minutes, 23 seconds
AVOID the #1 MISTAKE new-car buyers make, up front
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6/19/2023 • 24 minutes, 57 seconds
I went to court. I was guilty. I won. (How to beat a traffic fine.)
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6/13/2023 • 39 minutes, 28 seconds
Your heavy tow test comments and feedback
Here's the audio from my previous report on the dodgy motoring media towing test >>
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6/2/2023 • 36 minutes, 51 seconds
Worst heavy tow test ever: Why the motoring media gets it wrong
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6/1/2023 • 30 minutes, 57 seconds
Car dealer diagnostic fees: Just another service department scam?
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5/26/2023 • 24 minutes, 42 seconds
Tax Office announces $7800 in new car buying bonuses from July 1
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5/22/2023 • 10 minutes, 25 seconds
Ex-Audi boss Rupert Stadler admits Dieselgate dirty deeds
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5/21/2023 • 10 minutes, 27 seconds
Electric vehicle deployment is being badly botched - everywhere
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5/20/2023 • 26 minutes, 28 seconds
Police car charged! (With aggravated stupidity...)
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5/19/2023 • 14 minutes, 17 seconds
The most common car dealer service department rip-off, and how to beat it
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5/17/2023 • 22 minutes, 37 seconds
How to drill steel without any special tools (dead easy solution)
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5/14/2023 • 20 minutes, 7 seconds
Budget black hole: Why the $7.4M fuel efficiency standard should've been free
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5/10/2023 • 18 minutes, 45 seconds
Why I hate weight distribution hitches (and why you should, too)
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5/1/2023 • 17 minutes, 26 seconds
Another epic heavy towing failure (with twist and pike)
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4/29/2023 • 17 minutes, 26 seconds
Reacting to your comments & criticism (Season 2 Episode 5)
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4/27/2023 • 34 minutes, 42 seconds
The V6 turbo diesel Landcruiser 300 oil consumption problem
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4/26/2023 • 18 minutes, 56 seconds
The ultimate guide to drill chucks: replacement, disassembly & rebuilding
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4/24/2023 • 39 minutes, 25 seconds
I screwed up about EVs - big time
EXPLANATION & CORRECTION:
In the original report (yesterday: EV versus diesel ute: what's REALLY really greener? >>), I made a small mathematical error at 19 minutes in. This is my blatant correction on that, with a distinctly different outcome to the original result.
I value integrity, unlike politicians and CEO types, so make sure you watch the below video to get the full understanding to my original proposition that a big diesel V6 ute is less dirty than a big fat battery-power electric vehicle.
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4/21/2023 • 35 minutes, 59 seconds
EV versus diesel ute: what's REALLY really greener?
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4/21/2023 • 37 minutes, 17 seconds
The engine valve clearance adjustment 'problem'
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4/20/2023 • 24 minutes, 34 seconds
Reacting to your comments & criticism (Season 2 Episode 4, April 2023)
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4/18/2023 • 49 minutes, 59 seconds
How safe is Tesla's Autopilot?
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4/14/2023 • 24 minutes, 20 seconds
Another Nissan customer support 'FAIL'
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4/12/2023 • 26 minutes, 56 seconds
Major change to EV & PHEV tax cuts coming on June 30
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4/9/2023 • 7 minutes, 56 seconds
True lies about bogus towing capacity claims (feat. Subaru Outback XT)
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4/6/2023 • 28 minutes, 30 seconds
Toyota Loses Dodgy Diesel DPF Appeal (Compensation Update)
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4/3/2023 • 21 minutes, 28 seconds
Reacting to your comments & criticism (Season 2 Episode 3, April 2023)
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4/3/2023 • 38 minutes, 23 seconds
Fun with batteries: How not to burn your house down this weekend
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3/31/2023 • 34 minutes, 6 seconds
The inconvenient truth about biofuel: it's just greenwashing bullshit
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3/29/2023 • 19 minutes, 42 seconds
Anti-car Green politician joins Volkswagen Supervisory Board
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3/27/2023 • 16 minutes, 10 seconds
Workshop review: Vevor BS-85 bandsaw is a better way to cut metal in your home shop
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3/25/2023 • 49 minutes, 2 seconds
Subaru Hybrid: Top 6 reasons why you shouldn't buy one
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3/25/2023 • 22 minutes, 23 seconds
True lies about green car sales in Australia
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3/20/2023 • 30 minutes, 49 seconds
ROAD USER TAX: 7 reasons why the Victorian EV & PHEV driving distance tax is BULLSHIT
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3/17/2023 • 22 minutes, 49 seconds
EV Fires: Why rescuers and the public are unprepared against the risks
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3/16/2023 • 16 minutes, 58 seconds
EV owner fined $500 for stealing electricity in Polestar 2
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3/15/2023 • 15 minutes, 36 seconds
Ford Everest wins world first "NOT A CAR" of the year award
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3/9/2023 • 29 minutes, 44 seconds
Every EV & PHEV eligible for zero fringe benefits tax in Australia today
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3/8/2023 • 25 minutes, 52 seconds
Novated Lease basics: The eco car LCT threshold explained in full
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3/6/2023 • 15 minutes, 38 seconds
VW refuses to help police GPS track car during kidnapping...
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3/4/2023 • 18 minutes, 25 seconds
EV Sanity Check: Is an electric vehicle really right for you?
You're ready to divorce yourself from internal combustion. Your heart’s set on an EV. So let's find out if living with one every day is going to be right for how you live...
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3/3/2023 • 22 minutes, 42 seconds
4X4 BASICS: When to engage 4WD (and when not to engage 4WD)
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2/28/2023 • 20 minutes, 52 seconds
The truth about the BYD Atto 3 EV rust problem
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2/28/2023 • 19 minutes, 48 seconds
DIY 101: You need an anvil (even if you're not a blacksmith)
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2/25/2023 • 25 minutes, 38 seconds
Re-chipping your new 4WD: Will your factory warranty survive?
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2/24/2023 • 22 minutes, 37 seconds
Tool Talk: answering your bolting & DIY questions
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2/24/2023 • 48 minutes, 38 seconds
New boss at Stellantis/Jeep Australia: Same brand train wreck
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2/23/2023 • 20 minutes, 55 seconds
What you probably don't know about nuts & bolts (for DIY car mechanics)
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2/19/2023 • 46 minutes, 11 seconds
Car reviews Vs carmaker advertising: How they really behave
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2/18/2023 • 25 minutes, 46 seconds
Best way to charge your EV at home (for complete electric car novices)
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2/16/2023 • 29 minutes, 2 seconds
Another Mercedes sunroof spontaneously explodes
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2/15/2023 • 24 minutes, 41 seconds
Engine timing chain vs timing belt: What's better?
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2/14/2023 • 31 minutes, 2 seconds
Caravan vs semi trailer truck: The 'ghetto physics' of towing
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2/13/2023 • 19 minutes, 50 seconds
4 years in prison for overloaded caravan driver: You have been warned.
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2/11/2023 • 24 minutes, 30 seconds
Jeep attempts to gag vehicle reviewers (epic 'fail')
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2/8/2023 • 27 minutes, 16 seconds
Vehicle and caravan corrosion: oxidation vs galvanic vs electrolysis
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1/31/2023 • 24 minutes, 42 seconds
The truth about bullbars & 4WD safety: Bogans won't like this...
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1/31/2023 • 25 minutes, 27 seconds
How 4WD accessories destroy your warranty in the real world
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1/30/2023 • 24 minutes, 28 seconds
Reacting to your recent comments & criticism (Season 2 Episode 2)
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1/28/2023 • 34 minutes, 32 seconds
Engine overheating, 4X4 and heavy towing: How hot is too hot?
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1/27/2023 • 33 minutes, 49 seconds
Hyundai, Kia, fires, class actions and recalls: What you need to know
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1/24/2023 • 41 minutes, 50 seconds
Worst carmakers named and shamed (plus, why they suck)
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1/20/2023 • 53 minutes, 53 seconds
How to choose the right medium SUV in 2023 (the complete guide)
If you're in the market for a new car today, there's a good chance a medium SUV is in your future. But there are so many models in this ultra-popular segment, it's extremely difficult to choose between them and it's almost impossible for you to try every single option. So here's how you find the shortlist that won't leave you making a $50,000 mistake...
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1/15/2023 • 50 minutes, 46 seconds
Best 4x4 for retirement caravan towing and outback adventuring
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1/12/2023 • 18 minutes, 58 seconds
Should you buy a base-model 'poverty' ute?
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1/11/2023 • 14 minutes, 1 second
Family survives 250ft horror plunge down California cliff in Tesla Model Y. But is it a miracle?
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1/10/2023 • 25 minutes, 59 seconds
Best 4x4 dual-cab ute for heavyweight tradie towing
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1/9/2023 • 10 minutes, 40 seconds
Tesla just dropped its EV prices. Here's why...
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1/8/2023 • 13 minutes, 8 seconds
Carmakers that REALLY FAILED in 2022
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1/7/2023 • 31 minutes, 48 seconds
The truth about fire risk: Hydrogen fuel cells and battery EVs
Perhaps you are one of these people who's formed the view or maybe your gut is telling you that a hydrogen fuel cell vehicle is little more than a bomb on wheels, or that a battery electric vehicle is a Towering Inferno waiting to happen. If you want to hang on to that view, I strongly advise you to click away now...
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1/3/2023 • 23 minutes, 56 seconds
Reacting to your recent comments & feedback (Season 2 Episode 1)
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1/2/2023 • 28 minutes, 8 seconds
Volkswagen's ZERO STAR EV safety rating disgrace
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12/28/2022 • 26 minutes, 23 seconds
Machine disassembly: My top 10 tips plus two vital operating principles
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12/27/2022 • 47 minutes, 6 seconds
What the Swiss electric vehicle driving ban means for Australia
Coming up, a salient warning to the rest of the world, courtesy of those crazy Swiss busily demonstrating to the remainder of ambient humanity exactly the pitfalls of failing to get an integrated EV strategy up and running.
Also, responding to feedback about the motoring media's insatiable appetite for carmaker appeasement and their failing at basic transparency with the audience...
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12/15/2022 • 26 minutes, 27 seconds
2023 Volkswagen Amarok: clone car of the year?
The world's largest automotive criminal conspiracy (Volkswagen) recently flew all the usual domesticated so-called journalist car reviewers all the way to South Africa so they can reiterate Amarok PR talking points orbiting the fake Ford Ranger clone.
Millions of dollars were spent on this undertaking, globally. Therefore it must be time for an evil bastard to state the obvious... You're welcome.
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12/14/2022 • 26 minutes, 35 seconds
These are the best car/shed/roadside work lights ever!
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12/12/2022 • 18 minutes, 25 seconds
Tesla Semi: Was I wrong? (Responding to you.)
Many of you in the audience were exceedingly keen, I note, to kick me in the slats in the comments section yesterday concerning my position on that ridiculous Tesla Semi shitbox truck.
Have I decided to repent and apologise, fall on my sword and accept the Messiah - Electric Jesus - into my life? Well, I did address some of your more entertaining comments, whatever that's worth...
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12/9/2022 • 28 minutes, 42 seconds
Tesla Semi truck might be the worst big rig ever...
The internet has been very excited by another stupendous game-changing achievement by the Techno king of Tesla himself, Elon Musk, who re-launched the Semi truck in Nevada recently, with some pretty bold claims. Frankly, as far as I can see, many of his claims just literally don't add up...
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12/8/2022 • 22 minutes, 35 seconds
Is this the perfect home DIY car hoist?
In a fairly small garage workshop, it is dead easy to fantasise about a super space-efficient, single post hoist like the King Lift from Hero Hoists. This non-sponsored report is going to show you the engineering brilliance of this very well designed and manufactured equipment so you can dream, and possibly even start thinking of how to justify the expenditure. This is a bridge that only you can cross.
Otherwise, a quality trolley jack, some jack stands and maybe a couple of ramps are going to be your primary way to expand the envelope on the home front.
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Hero Hoists single-post lift specs (PDF): http://bit.ly/3VSCVzv
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12/6/2022 • 16 minutes, 46 seconds
Volkswagen kicks another epic 'own goal', plus other car brand PR fails
In this report we're going to deal with Volkswagen first, because that company is the gift that just keeps on giving. Then we'll have a laugh at some of the funniest company branding fails, including the big automotive PR stuff-up of recent times... Can you guess which brand it is and what they did?
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12/6/2022 • 18 minutes, 6 seconds
4WD Tech: Can a throttle controller cure turbo lag?
Australia's extreme beard stroking and 4WD modification porn problem means we need this report, a technical deep-dive into the operation of modern turbocharged diesel engines in order to prevent self-inflicted injuries to your wallet and your pride-and-joy wanking tractor. Let's talk about this before it gets out of hand...
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12/4/2022 • 25 minutes, 44 seconds
Electric vehicles just got thousands cheaper for ordinary Australians. YE$$$$$$
If you've been sitting on the fence because the cost of EV ownership has been a barrier to acquisition due to your ordinary salary, new legislation which passed recently will mean you could be in the zone to finally afford that electric vehicle you've wanted for so long.
I'm going to show you exactly the recipe for Australia's cheapest electric car omelette...
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12/1/2022 • 20 minutes, 58 seconds
Modifying a new Ford Ranger (or virtually any other new 4X4)
That new Ford Ranger 2023 diesel V6, which you're already planning the mods for, lying wide awake at 3am planning tweaks and tinkering with - we've all been there. But there is a right way and a wrong way to do this. Guess which of those ways we're going to discuss next...
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11/30/2022 • 24 minutes, 43 seconds
Mercedes holds performance hostage behind paywall/subscription model
Mercedes-Benz will soon, metaphorically at least, snatch the performance of your new car off the street in broad daylight to be held for ransom - behind a paywall subscription model. You'd better find US$1200 in non-sequential notes and await further instructions. Oh, and don't think about calling the FBI. This is a hostage negotiation.
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11/29/2022 • 23 minutes, 28 seconds
Reacting to your recent comments (Season 1 Episode 5)
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11/27/2022 • 31 minutes, 58 seconds
2023 Nissan Pathfinder: 'Don't buy' recommendation
2023 Nissan Pathfinder 7 seat SUV has just been launched. Nissan Australia claims this one is the resurrection of its 'capable' breeder bus to redeem itself after the dog-like deficiencies of its predecessor. Sadly, the press is in full-on Nissan appeasement mode hoping their reviews do their small bit to keep those rivers of advertising revenue flooding in.
If you're shopping for a full-size family SUV and you're ready to drop the big bucks, I'd suggest press pause on the Pathfinder and just have a think about the issues I'm gonna raise here...
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11/25/2022 • 38 minutes
Engine knock, pinging, pinking & detonation: Need to know
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11/24/2022 • 19 minutes, 54 seconds
Reacting to your recent comments (Season 1 Episode 4)
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11/20/2022 • 30 minutes, 15 seconds
Caravan from Hell: How an owner got a full refund, eventually...
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11/20/2022 • 17 minutes, 18 seconds
What to do if your new car is a lemon
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11/18/2022 • 20 minutes, 12 seconds
Should your next car be electric? Is it all over for internal combustion?
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11/15/2022 • 18 minutes, 34 seconds
Land Rover launches limited-edition 'pro-Russia' watch
BREAKING NEWS: Brand new limited edition Land Rover Defender watch (that's right) is from Russia with love, apparently, and in a sense is therefore the anatomy of a ridiculous hilarious scientifically-illiterate marketing own-goal. But hey, 'what's Russia ever done wrong?' Right, Land Rover?
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11/15/2022 • 13 minutes, 33 seconds
EVs & climate change deception. We're trashing the benefit.
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11/12/2022 • 40 minutes, 37 seconds
Navara, Prado, Triton & Pajero Sport to lose ANCAP safety ratings
Australia-Kiwi new car safety ratings agency ANCAP has just had a makeover of its website. Riveting stuff. Hilariously though, they've just become - unwittingly perhaps - the architects of the next great safety related new car buying disaster and we really need to talk about that...
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11/8/2022 • 20 minutes, 29 seconds
4WD recovery: How dangerous is drag chain?
The beer garden physics, need-to-know briefing on off-road specific high-tensile drag chain: if you use this in four-wheel drive recovery is it likely to fracture and recoil and kill someone.
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11/8/2022 • 38 minutes, 45 seconds
The plan for 1 million EVs by 2027 is bullshit: Here's why...
Dear Electric Vehicle Council, the real world's lawyer just called apparently reality is filing for divorce. How else do you contextualize this thought-bubble about getting one million EVs on Australian roads by 2027? Here's why such a claim is unfeasible bullshit...
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11/5/2022 • 20 minutes, 7 seconds
You versus rust: How to win.
In today's report we're going to turn this filthy, rusty engineering abomination into this fine collection of borderline erotic rust-free - some would say gorgeous - reclaimed parts. The best thing of all dude: nobody has to work up a sweat, it only takes about 15 minutes worth of actual work and it's so cheap it might as well be free...
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11/5/2022 • 16 minutes, 17 seconds
The truth about octane rating: Should you run high octane fuel?
Multiple choice question, without warning: hotter, colder, slower, faster - which one of those is true about how the fuel burns if you tip high octane fuel into your car?
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11/4/2022 • 11 minutes, 52 seconds
Toyota is rationing smart keys now: King of Mediocrity strikes again
Toyota has decided to hand over just one smart key to each of its customers now on 14 different models but hey, it's not their fault. Thank God for the pandemic which has become the Swiss Army knife of corporate incompetence justifying excuses...
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11/3/2022 • 17 minutes, 6 seconds
Why I still would not buy a Volkswagen - especially an Amarok
Volkswagen once again doing exactly what it does best which would be throwing people just like you - its customers - under the bus.
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11/2/2022 • 16 minutes, 50 seconds
Car crashes: The ghetto physics of life & death
In this report, the secret beer garden physics of airbag and silly things that people do around them - it's a request from somebody just like you; may not be a real secret.
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11/2/2022 • 21 minutes, 50 seconds
National greenwashing champions: the tyre industry
A tyre company going out on a limb doing its bit to "save the planet". Are we not all just going a little too far pretending to be Paragons of environmental virtue, no matter how filthy the underlying industry is in which we operate.
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10/28/2022 • 25 minutes, 44 seconds
Is my car's tailshaft running out of phase? Why Ford Ranger is shakin' all over...
That tailshaft on your car: Is it operating in phase or out of phase? How would you know? Let us drill down into the beer garden engineering of that now...
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10/28/2022 • 18 minutes, 37 seconds
New car road test videos suck: Here's why...
If you are in the market for a new car, doubtless you are watching road tests incessantly. But there's only one problem with those road tests, isn't there?
They suck. And I bet you haven't figured out why...
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10/26/2022 • 26 minutes, 29 seconds
Why is the diesel price sky-high? Facts vs conspiracy: Refining, supply, demand, crude, petrol and more
What the hell is going on with the price of diesel, I hear you yell. Prices have jumped, ascending without end. While petrol is slowly trending back to its usual cruising altitude. Is it some horrible conspiracy by Big Oil in the government or are there actual facts and economic influences where this makes complete sense?
Let's talk about that now...
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10/25/2022 • 17 minutes, 41 seconds
No spare tyre? Why is nobody talking about this?
As much as I hate space saver spare tyres - and I do hate them - there is one worse alternative which is growing through the new car market, as we speak. This is what happens with the rise in carmakers offering no spare tyre at all.
I used to think that was just a problem for people who went outside the city, but I hadn't experience a couple of weeks ago which has changed my thinking...
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10/24/2022 • 12 minutes, 41 seconds
Responding to your recent feedback and comments
Here's what you had to say in the comments section of some of my recent reports, covering Nissan e-Power and diesel-electric locomotives, towing and 4WD recovery, and some community action regarding Albury/Wodonga Subaru servicing... Even a random phone call from the AutoExpert masked-up car-hunting crusader.
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10/23/2022 • 28 minutes, 42 seconds
Is buying a Mitsubishi Triton/L200 a mistake? (Q&A)
If you're considering a ute, or possibly even a 4WD wagon, for your next off-road adventure, your next dependable workhorse or simply as an all-round multi-purpose family and load-hauling tool, let's assess why the Mitsubishi Triton is a good idea, and not such a good idea...
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10/22/2022 • 26 minutes, 47 seconds
Will Toyota Hilux ever get LandCruiser's V6 twin turbo diesel engine?
How much longer exactly can Hilux maintain its position as the top selling passenger vehicle in Australia? Sales that top the charts today are reflective of orders that were taken 6 to 12 months ago and since then, Toyota has pulled the Rogue and the Rugged X from the range on its website.
Can Toyota get its act together to deliver a Land Cruiser engine V6 Hilux anytime soon, or is it actually game over for Hilux on top?
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10/20/2022 • 20 minutes, 38 seconds
Nissan X-Trail e-POWER: How this petrol-powered EV's claims don't add up
It seems Nissan might be misleading you about its e-power hybrid system. Perhaps it's time for the consumer regulator to start acting on false marketing promises made by carmakers so that consumers like you don’t fall for it. See what you think…
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10/18/2022 • 11 minutes, 58 seconds
Should you pay for diagnosis when your car breaks down, under warranty?
Your car starts making noises and you're forced to take it to the dealership where you're potentially going to be asked to pay a fee to diagnose the problem. Where do you stand under Australian Consumer Law and who should really stump up this cost? Well, it depends, of course...
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10/18/2022 • 12 minutes, 44 seconds
2023 IONIQ 5 EV announced: bigger battery/more range
The Hyundai Ioniq 5 is about to be revealed in three exciting new variants as the updated electric vehicle also becomes suddenly available to purchase. But you'll have to be one of the lucky bunch that gets in early. So, what's coming on the new model and why do you one want? Let's have a look-see...
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10/16/2022 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 20 seconds
X-Trail e-POWER e-4ORCE: Nissan's most ridiculous hybrid ever (and why)
Nissan Australia has pulled the covers off its new but overdone-in-the-name-department hybrid SUV. That's right, the new X-Trail will come as a hybrid, courtesy of a tiny little battery. Let's talk about what it's going to offer and see if you should even bother...
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10/14/2022 • 1 hour, 11 minutes
Inside the latest Toyota electric vehicle tantrum
Toyota just went so far off the reservation at a recent press event when asked about the brand's lacklustre attempts to produce an EV. Here's the epic tantrum and the AutoExpert rebuttal...
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10/13/2022 • 29 minutes, 24 seconds
Jack Stands: How safe are they really? Their weakest link revealed.
How strong exactly are jack stands and do you need to worry? It's all inspired by a question from you. Short answer, yeah they're pretty strong, but yeah, you do need to worry, however not for the reason you might think.
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10/11/2022 • 23 minutes, 30 seconds
Reacting to your recent comments: Here's what you had to say...
Responding to you in the form of your recent critical feedback, informed commentary and your - let's call it - candid criticism. Why? Because I love my audience, you in that hetero/platonic wholly above-the-belt way. In other words, yeah, it was a pretty fricken slow news day...
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10/11/2022 • 31 minutes, 40 seconds
What's the best family SUV? Mitsubishi Outlander VS Sorento, Kluger, CX-9, Santa Fe and more
If you're in the market for a five-seat SUV with occasional-use third row, or you need a seven-seater with frequent row-three access, here's a brief rundown on how the contenders compare with the Mitsubishi Outlander, the budget three-row option for growing families...
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10/9/2022 • 14 minutes, 17 seconds
Nissan Patrol defective 'peeling paint from hell' problem
Let's go 100 percent consumer advocacy and talk about defective paint. If you pay the big bucks, you buy a new car, it's under warranty - and the paint degrades on basically every panel, and then you get the solid gold platinum label run around from the dealer. What do you do? Is a full refund on the cards?
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10/8/2022 • 14 minutes, 51 seconds
Can you power your house with your EV (electric vehicle)?
Is it the right time to replace your combustion car with an EV and maybe even run your house using the big fat battery in the EV overnight?
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10/8/2022 • 15 minutes, 18 seconds
Polestar 2 EV loses Space race - but does anyone care?
Australia's fakest automotive brand, Polestar, is all cheer this week after recently announcing that its new flagship fake dealership will open this summer, deep in the rectum of a shopping mall in Melbourne. Here's why you probably couldn't care less...
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10/7/2022 • 20 minutes, 41 seconds
New Hyundai IONIQ 6 EV fails basic 'energy efficiency' test
If you're thinking of buying the new Hyundai IONIQ 6 electric vehicle in the next couple of years, you're going to hear plenty of grandiose claims about it, especially from the most recent press release. Here's why your prospective new EV won't be all it's cracked-up to be...
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10/5/2022 • 19 minutes, 38 seconds
How to choose the right new car in 2023 (full details)
How do you choose the right new car, whether you're in the market for small car, cheap car, nasty car, luxury car, big fat four-wheel drive, ute - whatever?
How do you sort through a market with 60 different brands, 300-ish different models on sale, with 20 or 15 options in all the popular segments? How do you find that Goldilocks new car for you?
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10/4/2022 • 32 minutes, 33 seconds
Will diesel fuel be banned in Australia?
Should you 'invest' in a new big heavy diesel 4x4 for example given the regulatory focus on the environment and the fact that they might just whip the rug out from under the sale of diesel anytime? What's going to happen to the value of your vehicle if they do that?
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10/4/2022 • 15 minutes, 12 seconds
Reverse-engineering the LDV eT60: Australia's first electric ute
Who would've thought LDV would be the first car company to field an electric ute in Australia. This is exactly the position we find ourselves in, so in this report let's reverse engineer exactly what LDV has revealed about the country's first electric ute, the eT60 - the better for you to understand exactly what it offers...
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10/3/2022 • 33 minutes, 52 seconds
Straight talk about chassis extensions for your 4X4 ute
Four-wheel drive utes and chassis extensions: you put $6000-$10,000 on the table, they get the angle grinder and just cut-and-shut the chassis to stretch your ute. Where exactly does this sit in the theatre of good and bad ideas? Is it the best thing since sliced bread or is it a ticket on the highway to hell?
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10/2/2022 • 13 minutes, 10 seconds
How long should your tyres really last?
Your tires are an investment of several hundred to several thousand dollars (if you own a performance car). So how long should they last out there turning and churning on the road and what do you do if they wear out "early"?
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10/2/2022 • 8 minutes, 32 seconds
Electric vehicle prices are set to soar - here's why
That EV you're lusting after in the manner of some insufferable self-righteous green nut, well it's not going to get cheaper anytime soon. As for production just ramping up to meet demand any time in the foreseeable future - good luck with that. Don't hold your breath waiting for the cheap, fully-stocked electric vehicle revolution, because a whole bunch of insiders in the mining industry are in the position to offer some sobering facts...
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10/1/2022 • 13 minutes, 39 seconds
Nissan Patrol 'Warrior' project gets official green light
Nissan and Premcar are having another Warrior baby and you're invited to the blue singlet baby shower. Here's what Nissan Australia had to say, apparently using the English language, to tell you all about the aging, V8-engined special edition 4WD wagon. Hold onto your vocabulary - we're going in!
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9/30/2022 • 10 minutes, 56 seconds
STEERING LOCKED: When people say 'steering failure', what's really happening?
What happens when you're driving along and suddenly the steering wheel locks on you, seemingly, making it too difficult to manoeuvre? How do you respond and what exactly is the cause? It could happen to anyone, right?
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9/28/2022 • 10 minutes, 38 seconds
Isuzu 'Don't Buy' Part 2: Responding to your feedback & comments
Today's report: a mad experiment in dialogue with you, regarding your considered feedback and comments resulting from Saturday's report about Daryl, who owns a 2016 Isuzu D-Max which had a diesel injector pump fail to the tune of $5000 - and Isuzu Australia has declined to offer him any assistance getting it back on the road...
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9/26/2022 • 26 minutes, 46 seconds
4WD high-range and low-range: Should you use it or lose it?
If you own a four-wheel drive, how often should you actually engage four-wheel drive or low range in the transfer case, down there? Is it necessary to keep the whole system in good working order or waste of time?
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9/25/2022 • 10 minutes
Isuzu D-MAX & MU-X: DON'T BUY in 2023
Exactly why I do not recommend you buy an Isuzu D-Max or an MU-X. It's got very little to do with the vehicles themselves, and everything to do with the calibre of the parent organization which, in my estimation, is very likely to throw you under the bus if you present to them with a legitimate problem which they can weasel out of.
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9/24/2022 • 17 minutes, 18 seconds
Can crashed cars be repaired without re-fitting the airbags?
This just in from the Department of Problems that Don't Exist. What if you buy a used car and it's been repaired and some dodgy backyard mechanic hasn't replaced an airbag that's been deployed...?
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9/23/2022 • 12 minutes
Should you buy a 2023 BYD Atto 3 electric car in Australia?
It's finally time to canvas the proposition of buying a new BYD ATTO 3 electric SUV and then stuffing the cargo space full of your gear and a generator with endless Jerry cans of petrol in order to hit the road and visit Dingo Piss Creek. Should you buy one...?
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9/23/2022 • 20 minutes, 50 seconds
DO NOT buy an EV (electric vehicle) without considering this!
If you buy an electric car today and it does not have V2L functionality (vehicle-to-load), which means you can plug in and withdraw 240 volts alternating current household grade electricity just like out of the power point at home, then you are making one of the most dud financial decisions you could possibly make with an electric car.
In this video I'm going to show you exactly why and how much this functionality can save you.
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9/22/2022 • 10 minutes, 27 seconds
Is Subaru's 'new' turbo 2.4 engine really good enough?
Subaru Outback 2.4 Turbo, the new XT model, is finally here after two long years. After what has got to be the longest gestation in Australian automotive history, the burning question is whether it's good enough. And is it any better than the old 3.6R?
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9/21/2022 • 14 minutes, 33 seconds
Sorry, Mercedes - Here's why your eVito electric courier van sucks
Ford Australia will be celebrating the launch of Mercedes-Benz’s new, wholly underdone excuse for an electric van - the eVito. Here’s why it simply won’t do the job…
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9/20/2022 • 15 minutes, 56 seconds
The truth about fitting an aftermarket auto transmission oil cooler
Is it a good idea for you to fit an aftermarket automatic transmission oil cooler to your fine four-wheel drive wanking chariot? Out there, on the road, towing your shitbox caravan all the way to Dingo Piss Creek - should it be an air-type or water-type cooler? Details next...
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9/19/2022 • 21 minutes, 50 seconds
Toyota will increase prices up to $3800. Existing orders not protected.
If you've got a 300 Series LandCruiser, a Kluger, RAV4, Corolla or a Hilux on order, bad news. Prices will rise, unceremoniously in some cases, by up to three thousand dollars, and if you're in the queue, the chances are you're not going to be price-protected. Here's the detail...
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9/19/2022 • 10 minutes, 4 seconds
Could you out-engineer a professional car designer?
This is what happens when scientifically illiterate people have brilliant ideas and demand I answer their misguided questions on engineering and automotive design. It's more evidence, perhaps, that in 2023, access to the keyboard should be means tested. There's a good idea...
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9/18/2022 • 15 minutes, 30 seconds
2023 MG ZS EV: Australia's most practical electric car?
MG has Just whipped something of a miracle out of its growing utility belt: Australia's most affordable EV just got incrementally better everywhere and they've actually got a couple of thousand of these things available to buy now-ish. No endless queue over the horizon, plus they even wound back the pricing from what they predicted back in March...
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9/17/2022 • 20 minutes, 13 seconds
Could we ever make enough synthetic fuel to get by?
Here's why a synthetic fuel industry to meet humankind's insatiable thirst for energy is a much, much bigger problem than most people could possibly conceive. These are the numbers and facts behind our carbon-capturing energy dilemma...
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9/16/2022 • 24 minutes, 57 seconds
Fake leather? BMW pledges "fully vegan" plant-based interiors from 2023
The best automotive news release ever, from BMW, shows that our species has done what it was put on Earth to do; we've finally achieved peak wank. Here's why vegan leather is not only a minority appeasing exercise, it also won't fix the problems it purports to solve...
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9/15/2022 • 19 minutes, 30 seconds
Dealers say Mazda has stopped selling the 2.0-litre atmo engine
For reasons known only to itself, Mazda Australia has decided to stop selling the 2-liter atmo engine - the stalwart of the base model CX-5 and Mazda3 (and also the CX-30, I think). This is, of course, quite the let down if you've had one on order and you've been waiting patiently for several months now. Here's what happened...
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9/14/2022 • 8 minutes, 37 seconds
Nissan Navara: Leaf springs vs coils, and which utes have which springs?
The Nissan Navara is known in the ute world for having coil springs in a leaf-spring market, where heavy loads in the tray and brazen towing escapades are the common practice. But did you know Navara also has leaf springs? Let's talk about which has which, and which suspension set-up is right for you...
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9/12/2022 • 8 minutes, 26 seconds
Greenpeace ranks Toyota world #1 anti-environmental carmaker
I received recently an email from Greenpeace that paints a very different picture of Toyota than the picture which Toyota paints about itself...
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9/11/2022 • 11 minutes, 25 seconds
Reverse-engineering Ford's E-Transit Custom electric van for Australia
Ford has cranked up the marketing machine in celebration of the upcoming deployment of the electric Transit Custom van - the so-called E-Transit.
In this report I'm going to decompile and reverse engineer the data from Ford Australia, so that you can start considering whether or not the E-Transit Custom might be the right tradie or general work vehicle for you...
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9/11/2022 • 18 minutes, 7 seconds
Bluetti EB3A portable power station review
The baby Bluetti EB3A is, essentially, a lithium-ion phosphate battery pack with built-in inverter, integrated AC charger, and solar charge controller. What that means is you can suck electricity out in just about any flavour that you could conceivably need in practice out there, in the bush.
You get pure sine wave 240 volts AC, you get USB-A, high powered USB-C, 12 volts DC, and if that's not enough, there's even an integrated inductive charge pad on top for your phone. So, it's ridiculously portable and amazingly good value and if you need to sustain your digital nomad office in a ute or a van, if you need to take it for the weekend with you in your four-wheel drive; you want to carry it into a tent, you want to carry it onto a boat...
This baby will do all of that - without breaking the bank.
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9/10/2022 • 18 minutes, 45 seconds
Mercedes fined $12.5M over misleading statements (official judgement)
My very good friends at Mercedes-Benz Australia have just been handed a chunky financial penalty by the Federal Court of Australia, so chunky you can carve it, too. Of course, by 'chunky' I actually mean 12.5 million dollars. How good is the justice system on certain days.
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9/9/2022 • 12 minutes
Water in fuel at 500km: Can I refuse the car or get a refund?
This new Kia Carnival owner got a warning light on the dash - and they found water in the fuel, with just 500km on the clock. Can he reject the car and get his money back?
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9/9/2022 • 10 minutes, 13 seconds
How to prevent water contaminating oil on low mileage cars
How often should you change the oil in your internal combustion car? Water staying in the oil, down there, is a problem you really want to avoid. Here's how you do it and ensure the longevity of your Old Faithful.
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9/8/2022 • 8 minutes
e-Scooter vs electric car (Mearth GTS Max review)
What if I told you there's an EV that you could buy today for well under $3000 which could cut your total vehicular emissions by 25 per cent, could pay for itself in less than eight months, plus you don't have to give up the car you already own? Does that sound good? Let's talk about that...
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9/7/2022 • 25 minutes, 39 seconds
Electric Utes: The BIG problem with EV pick-up trucks
If you are sitting there on the couch dreaming about an excursion to Dingo Piss Creek in a battery electric ute, the facts are about to destroy this fantasy that lots of people have and communicate with me incessantly. Battery technology and electric utes have some harsh realities it's time to confront...
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9/5/2022 • 26 minutes, 4 seconds
PM Anthony Albanese doesn't seem to grasp the problem with EV utes
It's time somebody set the Australian prime minister Anthony Albanese straight on the issue of battery electric utes, because not only can you not buy one here, let alone in the foreseeable future, there's another glaring EV ute problem nobody in the media or government understands...
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9/5/2022 • 20 minutes, 3 seconds
Heavy towing 'ghetto physics' deep-dive (responding to your comments)
Responding to your 'interesting' feedback in relation to the physics of towing with airbags report >> from yesterday. Because sometimes you just can't have your automotive cake and eat it too - because the facts always win, regardless of whether you choose to believe them or not.
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9/3/2022 • 31 minutes, 14 seconds
Should you fit airbag suspension for towing?
Airbags and towing: is this a match made in heaven or is it just opening the door to incipient disaster? Let's talk about why you can't always pimp your ride with the mythical GVM upgrade cheat code known in the 4WD community as (air)bags...
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9/2/2022 • 7 minutes, 2 seconds
Does the dealer have to offer a loan car when my car is in for repairs?
If your car suffers a major mechanical failure and it's stuck at the dealership for a protracted period of time, is the dealer obligated to offer you a loan car for the duration? Let's talk about that...
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9/2/2022 • 21 minutes, 18 seconds
Taxpayers like you just bought 50 public EV chargers for $900,000
You, the great Australian taxpayer - the ultimate golden goose perhaps - you just handed a company you've never heard of, called Intellihub, nearly 900 000. Why? So that it can install 50 electric vehicle charger boxes on light poles, mainly in affluent Sydney.
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9/1/2022 • 15 minutes, 4 seconds
Car dealer ambush tactics (and how to beat them)
How to avoid the tricks and traps designed to ensnare you and extract as much of your money as possible when trying to buy your next new car. It's time we had the talk for those of you who want to do-it-yourself on the showroom floor. If you'd rather avoid this fight... Save thousands on any new car (Australia-only) by contacting me via AutoExpert.com.au here >>
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9/1/2022 • 10 minutes, 26 seconds
Ford Ranger: EGR cooler failures
Here's the truth about mid-line Ford Ranger five-cylinder diesel engines blowing up out there, on the road, to Dingo Piss Creek. Is it going to happen to you and can you prevent it happening? Let's talk about that...
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8/31/2022 • 8 minutes
How to avoid hitting kangaroos in the Outback
Kamikaze kangaroos are out there, en route to Ding Piss Creek, waiting for you. It's part of Australian culture, and yet this is exactly how that rodent from our coat of arms comports itself. So how do you stop yourself from hitting one?
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8/30/2022 • 10 minutes, 21 seconds
The truth about ute & 4WD payloads (most people don't know this)
Single cab utes and their alleged one-tonne payload capacity: How accurate is that really?
Also when your leather seats start to scuff after only three years of infrequent driving, how do you approach the dealer and carmaker about getting it fixed?
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8/29/2022 • 13 minutes, 8 seconds
Understanding catastrophic brake failure: Who's really to blame?
Like a responsible automotive citizen, you take your car to the dealer who says it needs a break bleed, and you agree in the name of safety. You pick up the car and the brakes fail, putting you in a multi-car crash. You've now got paperwork, the cops: how do you pick up the pieces from that? What do you do?
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8/26/2022 • 12 minutes, 28 seconds
Adapting to a dual-clutch transmission (DCT, DSG)
If you've been driving a manual or normal auto transmission for the past three decades and suddenly you shift over into a DCT - a dual clutch transmission - it's a pretty different scenario. It functions differently. So what sort of adaptation do you need to make?
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8/26/2022 • 15 minutes, 8 seconds
Should you buy a cheap Chinese ute in 2022?
It's been so long since a car company put me on their blacklist. Let us discuss the issue of whether or not you should buy a Chinese-manufactured ute in Australia in the latter stages of 2022 or even in 2023. Are they a bargain begging to be had, or are they a trap waiting for you to step on the X?
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8/25/2022 • 20 minutes, 30 seconds
Is the 2WD Mitsubishi Pajero Sport dangerous in the wet?
When it comes to towing and dynamic stability, should you get all-wheel drive as the safest option, or is a cheaper two-wheel drive wagon going to be suitable? Let’s break that down…
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8/24/2022 • 9 minutes, 2 seconds
Leaf spring reset: Can you fix a sagging spring?
Leaf springs sagging over time - that's less than ideal. But what exactly can you do about it? Should you tackle this at home in your own FatCave or do you opt for a more conservative approach? Here's how you might go down either side of this fork in the road...
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8/23/2022 • 12 minutes, 20 seconds
Should you buy an MG in Australia in 2022?
MG has leapt from virtual obscurity to a full-on top 10 car maker on the Australian new car sales hit parade; it's currently sitting there at number seven ahead of Isuzu, Subaru and Nissan. Is it therefore time for you to put mg on your new car shopping list...?
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8/18/2022 • 14 minutes, 42 seconds
PHEV: The truth about buying a plug-in hybrid EV. Is it worth the money?
If you're thinking about buying a plug-in hybrid EV a so-called 'PHEV', whether this is a good idea or not depends mainly on you and exactly why you are motivated to buy it. In this report we're going to look at the objectively good reasons and the objectively bad one for buy a plug-in hybrid.
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8/16/2022 • 19 minutes, 17 seconds
4X4 Ute Engineering: Fact Vs Fiction
CarExpert you've done it again - this time, misinforming you about fundamental 4WD ute engineering. Here's why motoring media gets it wrong so frequently when trying to talk to you, the audience, about technical vehicle-related subjects and why it matters.
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8/15/2022 • 18 minutes, 42 seconds
Don't buy new tyres without understanding this critical code
If you're in the market for new tyres anytime over the next 12 to 18 months, here's something you need to know - but probably haven't considered - before paying for one of the most fundamental safety aspects on your car.
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8/15/2022 • 15 minutes, 55 seconds
Academics say industry CO2 plan will stifle EV uptake (and they're right)
Leading Australian brainiacs with actual qualifications and credibility appear to have gone all 'Iron' Mike Tyson in the general direction of my personal hero organisation, the grubby carmaker lobby group known as the FCAI.
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8/12/2022 • 19 minutes, 46 seconds
Toyota buys back bZ4X EV - because the wheels fall off!
Toyota has shot itself in the foot - again - over the ridiculously named bZ4, the company's first electric vehicle and SUV jointly developed with Subaru. Incidentally possibly the most bland EV in the world today if you don't count the Nissan Leaf, the bz4x is pooping its trousers, impressively, all over town - and Toyota just can't fix it.
In fact, they've just offered to buy them all back.
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8/11/2022 • 10 minutes, 18 seconds
Mitsubishi breaks the law - by obeying the law: Supreme Court verdict
What do you do if you're a carmaker and complying with one law means you're going to be breaking another completely different law? This is not an abstract concept; it just happened. So welcome to the wacky world of automotive catch 22.
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8/10/2022 • 11 minutes, 44 seconds
Ford just killed the Focus ST & Fiesta ST hot hatches
Both remaining hot hatches in Ford Australia's vehicle inventory have been taken out to pasture. Here's what happened, why it happened - and what happens next for the one-trick Blue Oval pony...
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8/7/2022 • 13 minutes, 8 seconds
Car industry launches absurd 'decarb' climate plan for reducing emissions
Leading Australian lobby group, the Federal Chamber of Automotive Industries, has solved the thorny problem of climate change and all it took was a buzzword generator and a one-page downloadable PDF.
If only it was as easy to reduce emissions as the way the new car industry thinks they can magic up actual results just by waving their magic wand.
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8/2/2022 • 16 minutes, 19 seconds
Is internal combustion dead? (It depends whether you respect the facts.)
The only problem with lobby groups and corporate interests agreeing to unite on the transition to an EV fleet is the facts don’t. Internal combustion is only dead if you ignore the truth…
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8/1/2022 • 23 minutes, 27 seconds
Angry car owners take Toyota on over peeling paint defects
Toyota: still spending a fortune marketing this myth about its unrivalled quality; still seemingly dropping the ball on car making fundamentals such as painting cars. In addition to struggling, apparently, with doing the right thing by owners afterwards. Is it really that hard?
Welcome to 2022, the year in which the truth about Toyota manages to do the whole cat-out-of-the-bag trick.
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7/24/2022 • 14 minutes, 31 seconds
Isuzu D-MAX & MU-X Class Action: Structural Cracks and Dodgy DPF Investigations
The lawyer sharks have started circling Isuzu Ute Australia in their Brisbane HQ, despite winning Drive's Thought Bubble Car of the Year 2022.
As it turns out, D-Max's reputation for truck-like endurance and otherwise herculean prowess out on the road to Dingo Piss Creek could soon be little more than ashes thanks to allegedly unresolved consumer complaints regarding structural cracks and DPF exhaust systems failing.
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7/21/2022 • 13 minutes, 3 seconds
DIY WHEEL CHOCKS - off-grid with the Bluetti AC200MAX
Let's turn two useless pieces of scrap plywood into a set of four wheel chocks that are going to last you for years - and you can use them for roadside repairs and general jacking duties around your own FatCave.
We'll do some basic production engineering which is a skillset you could apply to any DIY project which will slash the burden of measuring and marking everything out when you've got high repeatability in your machining operations.
Finally, we're going to do it all off-grid using the mighty Bluetti AC200Max portable power station with lithium-ion phosphate battery inverter.
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7/21/2022 • 27 minutes, 59 seconds
The truth about BMW's subscription model for heated seats and more
Imagine having to subscribe to activate features in your prestige German automobile. BMW in the UK thought it would be a great idea - but the public disagreed. So, exactly how big of a deal is this and does it mark the future of the car industry? Let's see...
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7/17/2022 • 21 minutes, 22 seconds
10 RANDOM NUTS (responding to your recent critical 'feedback')
10 random nuts selected, as per usual, from the bottom of society's barrel also known as the YouTube comments feed. An even worse proposition, perhaps for Australian democracy more broadly, is that all these individuals walk among us.
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7/14/2022 • 28 minutes, 39 seconds
The truth about 2023 Nissan Qashqai e-Power series hybrid in Australia
Nissan Australia just flew Australia's allegedly elite automotive journalists (press release recyclers) all the way up to Sweden (probably in business-class, eating fine food and drinking nice wine), with all of the major press kit talking points for the soon-to-launch Qashqai e-Power hybrid. Living the rockstar life.
What a pity they generally failed to list the vehicle's fairly freaking obvious shortcomings and forgot to ask any hard questions.
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7/11/2022 • 29 minutes, 15 seconds
Hyundai will increase prices up to $2000 - including existing orders
Hyundai just quietly jacked up the costs a whole bunch of patiently waiting customers will have to pay for one of their brand new cars.
Owing to the global shortage of corporate compassion for ordinary people, none was offered in this instance - seemingly. What can we do?
I'd suggest it would be impolite not to return the favour would it not? I am after all, renowned for my politeness...
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7/7/2022 • 16 minutes, 9 seconds
One critical question most car buyers don't ask at the dealership in 2022
Here's the one question new car buyers just aren't asking in 2022 but you certainly should be if you're in the market for a new car today...
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7/6/2022 • 15 minutes, 2 seconds
Toyota suspends LandCruiser 300 orders - indefinitely
Toyota, the 84-year-old industry-leading multinational car maker with almost 400,000 employees and 800 billion bucks in assets - the king of mediocrity - it just froze LandCruiser 300 orders back in Japan because: chronic incompetence...
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7/5/2022 • 14 minutes, 13 seconds
How the fake news around cars and climate really works
Here's exactly how the so-called motoring press bakes the automotive news bullshit cake...
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6/29/2022 • 28 minutes, 9 seconds
We just found 112 brand new cars you can buy before June 30 EOFY
Need a new car by June 30, for EOFY? We just located 112 brand new cars available right now. Enquire here: https://bit.ly/3OBb2Z7
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6/24/2022 • 7 minutes, 9 seconds
The truth about your car and greenhouse emissions (It's a sideshow)
Right, that’s it! I’ve had quite enough of our cars being demonised. Cars are a small fraction of the CO2 problem, and yet they cop 90 per cent of the climate criticism. You want to fight this? Here are the facts…
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6/23/2022 • 24 minutes, 21 seconds
Toyota appeals Federal Court ruling as registration opens for dodgy DPF compensation
If you're sick of being screwed over at the hands of your local Toyota dealership, courtesy of those misleading deceptive bastards at Toyota, in respect of the dodgy DPF installation in your Hilux, Fortuna or Prado - rejoice.
It's payback day. This time, as Toyota's chickens come home to roost, you get to stick one back into them. Oh, what a feeling.
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6/20/2022 • 18 minutes, 12 seconds
What size battery & inverter do you need, off-road or off-grid?
How big a battery do you actually need to go off-grid and get power? If you're camping, boating, caravanning, or building a dirty big shed in the middle of the back paddock, Bluetti power stations might be what you need.
Need to run a refrigerator or lights, an air-con, you need to cook and/or run a bunch of power tools? What exactly do you need to know to get this right? Let's face it, you'd want to get it right, because it's a hell of an expensive mistake...
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6/13/2022 • 38 minutes, 33 seconds
Hyundai Palisade facelift shoots for five stars in August. But did ANCAP waste taxpayer funding?
It's time for consumers like you to see exactly what a taxpayer-funded self-serving smear actually looks like in practice.
Insofar as I can tell, you - the taxpayer - just paid about three-quarters of a million dollars for the latest 4-star Hyundai Palisade crash test which wrongly demotes this 8-seat SUV using new criteria. But the reason why will make your blood boil...
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6/7/2022 • 16 minutes, 36 seconds
ROLL PLAY: Jeep Wrangler flips over in official IIHS crash test - again
The deathtrap commonly known as Jeep Wrangler has won five stars for consistency in failing to remain on all four wheels in second-round crash testing in the USA - in a test no other vehicle has ever failed to spectacularly. Here's the happened and what it means for you...
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6/6/2022 • 18 minutes, 37 seconds
ANCAP botches Hyundai Palisade four-star safety rating: Here's why...
Australasia's taxpayer funded crash testing so-called authority, ANCAP, has managed to augment reality once again, this time on the four-year-old Hyundai Palisade full-size SUV, which went on sale here two years ago - but was tested using 2022 criteria.
Here's how another safety rating has been botched in the name of keeping you alive...
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6/4/2022 • 26 minutes
Why I won't recommend the 2023 Nissan Pathfinder to you
Nissan Australia is saying all the right things about the allegedly 'all-new' Pathfinder large SUV. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Here's what the rest of the motoring media won't tell consumers like you...
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6/2/2022 • 22 minutes, 35 seconds
The truth about "fossil-free" steel for cars: It's a pipedream
It's time to call bullshit on the transport industry's claims about so-called 'green' hydrogen in steel production and vehicle manufacturing...
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6/1/2022 • 22 minutes, 5 seconds
4 best ways to save thousands on a new car - even in 2022
Let's talk about how to save thousands on a new car despite the current hell-on-Earth of supply constraints and component shortages. Four actionable techniques for you that will minimize the financial pain of new car acquisition - even today.
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5/23/2022 • 24 minutes, 36 seconds
Tesla Cybertruck: Dead? Plus more car industry news
Seems Tesla has finally acknowledged the inevitable truth about its intelligence-testing Cybertruck, the promised but undelivered electric ute everybody fell for. Plus: Mercedes-Benz issues a contradictory safety recall and Ford gets constipated with Ranger deliveries.
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5/21/2022 • 14 minutes, 59 seconds
FAT CHAT! Podcast with independent journalist Michael West & war crimes whistleblower David McBride
David McBride and Michael West talk with me about the level of bullshit in Australia right now: legal immunity of government, the silencing of war crimes, the biggest transfer of wealth from poor to rich, the degradation of trust in institutions, the lies being told by politicians and the eroding credibility of the media in its implicit role failing to hold power to account.
On the eve of the federal election, this matters.
Subscribe to The West Report on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheWestReport
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5/20/2022 • 53 minutes, 9 seconds
The worst thing about owning an electric vehicle today, in Australia
The worst aspects of owning an electric vehicle is not being an insufferable EV enthusiast, waiting for the thing to charge after handling the tangled cables, the immeasurable emissions wrapped up in the manufacturing of a two-tonne battery-powered machine - nor is it the stupid run-flats or tyre goop that replace a proper spare tyre. It's not even the fact carmakers insist on hiding every fricken function behind a big, distracting LCD touchscreen.
The worst part of actually owning an EV is far more basic than that...
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5/16/2022 • 29 minutes, 32 seconds
Don't Buy Nissan in 2022: Plus More Shitbox News
The apparently 'new' range of Nissans for 2022 are a sign that things are going downhill for the Japanese brand. Here's why you should be cautious before paying the big bucks. Plus: new Range Rover Sport and Alfa Romeo news.
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5/11/2022 • 20 minutes, 56 seconds
TOILET TIME: New car sales update, 2022
New car sales in Australia are pretty grim. Or is it? Seemingly, it is, according to official Australian car industry rhetoric, at least looking at the results for April in isolation. Essentially, the car industry still paying the price for kneeing computer chip manufacturers so firmly in the nuts on price, then failing to see the pandemic trainwreck approaching, a couple of years ago.
Also, China is on the rise.
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5/10/2022 • 16 minutes, 35 seconds
Choke's on you, Toyota. 2022 Smog Kings of Mediocrity crowned.
Toyota and its close brand associates have been caught-out allegedly cheating on emissions, mainly because they weren't paying attention, it seems to what happened with Volkswagen just a few years ago. Get ready for the mighty planet-saving hero to fall spectacularly from grace.
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5/4/2022 • 16 minutes, 46 seconds
The worst thing about owning a modern car
The worst thing about owning a modern, new vehicle is not the third-rate infotainment systems manufacturers inflict upon us, it's not all the computers, it's not even the badly engineered electronic nanny state safety systems, nor is it the insufferable virtuous who think that their EV is from God.
The worst thing about owning a modern car is...
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4/30/2022 • 15 minutes, 57 seconds
GET JACKED Part 1: Everything you need to lift your jacking game
Let's get jacked together. You know what I mean. Here are the basic tools and investments you need to make toward your own garage if changing tyres, inspecting and working on your own vehicle is on your horizon. Plus, some important best practice tips so you come out alive.
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4/29/2022 • 18 minutes, 18 seconds
CRITICAL TOWING: Load levelling hitches (weight distribution hitches) and why they're not a solution
The beer garden physics deep dive into the humble weight distribution hitch. Some say it is the universal panacea when the problem is a real man's 4X4 dragging its arse all the way to Dingo Piss Creek with a dirty big caravan in tow. Whereas some might suggest: worst idea ever. The truth is somewhere in the middle and it kind of depends on you...
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4/27/2022 • 16 minutes, 1 second
Lemon List 2022: Worst car brands to AVOID at all costs
The Australian car market currently has 49 different brands competing for your cold hard cash. But if you find yourself parked outside one of the following 20 dealerships, ready to buy one, my strong advice would be: run, dude. Run away and don't look back.
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4/24/2022 • 22 minutes, 53 seconds
Bad car of the year (2022)
Wheels magazine keeps shooting itself right in the gearknob. Every year they do this, label a car the best on-sale but either fail to understand their own Car of the Year criteria, or seemingly miss the whole point of the very vehicle they award. Lucky for you, the consumer, I'm here to give you the sobering facts.
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4/21/2022 • 24 minutes, 34 seconds
BUSTED: Breaking down car industry CO2 & climate claims
The Australian car industry has tried to quietly elevate itself from a mere grubby and anti-consumer lobby group to spectacularly misleading with data and the facts on climate action - in my view. They still think it's okay to preach about emissions, but sell enormous, heavy, CO2-belchers...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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4/12/2022 • 20 minutes, 46 seconds
Ultimate portable power solution? New Bluetti AC200MAX - full test!
BLUETTI will be discounting the AC200MAX ($400 off) at 11am Tuesday 12 April 2022. First 200 units only. Links below:
Home page: https://www.bluettipower.com.au/?ref=8xzu1i8qk8
AC200MAX: https://www.bluettipower.com.au/products/bluetti-ac200max-home-battery-backup?ref=8xzu1i8qk8
350W solar panel kit: https://www.bluettipower.com.au/products/bluetti-sp350-350w-solar-panel?ref=8xzu1i8qk8
B230 Expansion battery: https://www.bluettipower.com.au/collections/expansion-battery?ref=8xzu1i8qk8
4/11/2022 • 22 minutes, 46 seconds
EV Utopia: Apparently the Greens have a 'plan' for Electric Vehicles
It must be election time. A politician has had a six billion dollar brainstorm and got the network news stations together, calls it a policy. Problem is it's preposterously unworkable and almost anyone can see that but it's about EVs, so the media sucks it all up and regurgitates it because electric cars are, clearly, mankind's salvation.
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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4/9/2022 • 12 minutes, 55 seconds
Toyota Australia's $2 billion problem: Those Dodgy DPFs.
Toyota Australia - King of Mediocrity, leader of the market, and most boring carmaker in the world - is looking down the barrel of a potential $2 billion class action in the Federal Court. It's all due to the disgraceful design deficiency with a little dishonesty on the side, involving those diesel particulate filters...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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4/8/2022 • 16 minutes, 33 seconds
Mercedes-Benz gets roasted by Senator Deb O'Neill over dubious evidence
Poor old Mercedes-Benz, always the sad story. The carmaker could probably be seen hobbling out of parliament house recently, after a ferocious reaming by senator Deb O'Neill. Here's what happened...
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4/5/2022 • 23 minutes, 3 seconds
Wheel nuts: Ultimate 'ghetto engineering' DIY deep-dive
A dude just like you is having a serious problem with his nuts. Here's everything you need to understand when it comes to doing-up and undoing your wheel nuts, the rules, the mistakes and how they work.
Ryobi 18V impact wrench >>
Impact socket set >>
Cross wheel brace >>
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4/4/2022 • 1 hour, 46 seconds
Honda Pumps Up 2022 HR-V Price: Sales Continue to Plummet
Honda Australia has bravely announced driveaway fixed pricing for the 2022 HR-V which, due to their recent range evisceration, is the new entry-level Honda. It's the cheapest one you can buy.
The barrier to ownership for HR-V has thus risen a staggering 27 percent between 2020 and today. And simultaneously, Honda sales have tanked fallen off a cliff. Go figure.
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4/1/2022 • 17 minutes, 38 seconds
Q&A: Should you left-foot brake, why modern cars all look the same
Responding deeply and emotionally to you. Let us talk about left foot braking and why you're a dill if you don't do it. Plus, why all new cars effectively look the same these days...
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3/30/2022 • 15 minutes, 7 seconds
Car industry declares war on climate change: fails due to an even weightier issue
In breaking news, the Australian car industry wants you to think it's on the front line of the battle against climate change. It's fixing bayonets and protecting the planet for your children, only nauseating. And misleading...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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3/30/2022 • 20 minutes, 40 seconds
Car Industry News: New Ranger Specs revealed, plus 10 nutty stories carmakers published in March 2022
Here are the top 10 wacky, funny and weird things the car industry did and talked about in March 2022. Here's what you might have missed...
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3/25/2022 • 19 minutes, 25 seconds
Q&A: Mitsubishi Super Select II transmission and important EV test drive registration safety and compliance check
Responding to your recent comments and criticism, regarding Mitsubishi's clever 4WD transmission, a potential safety compliance mistake that could affect that electric vehicle you test drive. And of course, a dose of nuts at the end...
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3/23/2022 • 17 minutes, 5 seconds
Polestar: The truth about depreciation and sneaky finance offers
Polestar, Volvo's not quite wholly Swedish Chinese electric car offering is, seemingly, terrified of how enthusiastically the future Australian car market might eviscerate your resale value, should you buy one. Here's how the finance trap was laid...
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3/21/2022 • 14 minutes, 47 seconds
Responding to your EV battery thermal runaway comments and criticism
Reacting to your awesome interesting and uplifting comments, however misguided or misinformed, in my recent report on Volkswagen's alleged indirect sinking, recently, of the Felicity Ace cargo ship, full of exotic cars. Here's what you had to say...
Here's my initial Felicty Ace EV battery thermal runaway report >>
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3/11/2022 • 25 minutes, 30 seconds
Mercedes sales plummet to 10-year low after eliminating dealer network
Mercedes-Benz sales have fallen to their lowest level in a decade, down under, following the company’s crazy-brave switch to the price-fixing agency model. It's not their fault, of course... according to them.
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3/10/2022 • 14 minutes, 45 seconds
Felicity Ace & EV Battery Thermal Runaway: The potential disaster hidden in every electric car
Volkswagen has (probably) outdone itself again, raising the bar for battery design deficiency in the electric Porsche Taycan: a defect which exists in many other EVs, incidentally. Here's the truth about what probably really happened on the Felicity Ace cargo shop...
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3/7/2022 • 23 minutes, 20 seconds
Mitsubishi Pajero Sport 4X4 - Best value family adventure wagon?
The Mitsubishi Pajero Sport Exceed: Is it the sweet spot for family adventuring all-terrain driving? A little bit of towing and also getting you and the kids to the school and the shops; this is probably going to be the bulk of its duty.
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3/5/2022 • 22 minutes, 8 seconds
Subaru CVT Transmission Failure Update: Full Owner Refund
Remember that pensioner from last week whose 2016 Subaru Outback CVT went poopy out on the highway? The dealer in Coffs Harbour quoted him $11,000 to replace the transmission. Good news has happened...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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3/2/2022 • 24 minutes
Performance cars are officially a 'no towing' zone (Part 2)
We spoke last week about affordable performance cars, which have never been better or gone harder than they do now, for the right price. But they've lost the ability to offer the best of both worlds. The findings are in: here's why...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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3/1/2022 • 12 minutes, 16 seconds
The truth about new car price increases, with a contract already signed
You've been waiting endlessly for months and months for the car of your dreams, then the dealer rings you on the day before delivery, to tell you it's going to be $3000 extra, "take it or leave it." What do you do?
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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3/1/2022 • 12 minutes, 26 seconds
Jeep: A History Lesson. Plus: 2022 Grand Cherokee problems
Jeep Australia cancels some existing (unbuilt orders) and imposes 10% price hike on customers who've been waiting months. Jeep USA orders urgent 'stop sale order on 2022 Grand Cherokee because they just die.
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2/28/2022 • 15 minutes, 36 seconds
Why panoramic glass sunroofs sometimes spontaneously shatter
The real and inevitably scientific reason why those big fat panoramic glass sunroofs in cars go bang from time to time…
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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2/27/2022 • 15 minutes, 42 seconds
How to solve a Ford Ranger handling problem (Q&A triple play)
Three questions from you answered, an update on Subaru CVT reliability, plus how a used Ford Ranger can turn on you at a moment's notice - and how you should deal with such a problem.
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2/25/2022 • 13 minutes, 34 seconds
Performance cars are becoming a 'no tow' zone (Part 1)
Let's talk affordable performance cars, because they've never been better, never gone harder or been more affordable. Yet they have all lost the sought-after ability to hook up your aging box trailer and head to Bunnings or the tip. Here's why...
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2/25/2022 • 16 minutes, 57 seconds
Ultimate caravan buyer's checklist (free download)
The ultimate consumer caravan buyers checklist for all the outback adventurers seeking to drop their money on an acoustically transparent aluminium toilet-kitchen-bedroom on wheels. The checklist is free too, and it's the protective due diligence you need if you've never done this before.
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2/24/2022 • 17 minutes, 8 seconds
Another Exploding Sunroof, on a Merc: What You Need to Know
Panoramic sunroofs exploding as you just drive along. What are you going to do if that happens when you finally get your car to the dealership and they say "that's your problem"? Let's prepare you for that...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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2/24/2022 • 23 minutes, 21 seconds
Choosing the right vehicle for heavy towing in 2022
So many Australians this year will find their next new heaving towing vehicle entirely the wrong way. Here's how to start out on the right track...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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2/22/2022 • 20 minutes, 58 seconds
Does Subaru have a serious CVT reliability problem?
A 2016 Subaru Outback CVT has a failure out on the highway, which becomes an $11,000 problem, suddenly. However, I'd suggest that's not how consumer law works. This is how relationships with brands get destroyed in the service department...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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2/21/2022 • 23 minutes, 25 seconds
Buying a new car in 2022: You Vs the computer chip shortage
Let us discuss the pesky semiconductor shortage which is set to continue throughout 2022 - just what we all wanted I'm sure. So, what should you do if the car maker de-specs the car you have just ordered...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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2/14/2022 • 19 minutes, 6 seconds
Hyundai issues hilarious 'dash upside-down' vehicle safety recall
Hyundai R&D might have a little egg on its face after issuing a hilarious safety recall with the National Institute of Highway Traffic Safety for an LCD software glitch which you certainly wouldn't want happening on a passenger plane...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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2/8/2022 • 9 minutes, 12 seconds
New CEO; same train wreck: The lingering death of Wheels
Another nail in the coffin for Wheels media this week the brand prepares to throw you in the audience even further under the bus, potentially, thanks to the installation of a new ringmaster. How long can this automotive advertising ship stay afloat?
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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2/3/2022 • 21 minutes, 32 seconds
How to deal with a continuously defective Volkswagen Amarok
Volkswagen ownership hell, part 1765: Here's a dude whose Amarok has had 10 replacement A/C compressors in 11 years!!! When is 'enough' enough?
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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2/1/2022 • 19 minutes, 29 seconds
RUMOUR MILL: Australia's 'almost' automotive news update, January 30, 2022
In this report: Stock shortages appear to be tightening for Mazda and Toyota, and a whistleblower/insider chimes in on the recent Polestar 'chip fat' PR stunt.
Check out my Polestar crosses the Nullabor report here >> and Greenwashing the car industry report here >>
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/30/2022 • 14 minutes, 9 seconds
Hyundai hydrogen upgrade highlights the real problem with climate action
Big business like carmakers, governments and corporates all struggle being green. Sounding green is dead easy, but accountants don’t get it…
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/28/2022 • 22 minutes, 29 seconds
Greenwashing is the new black for the car industry
In this report: It's a lot easier sounding green than it is actually being green. Here's how the car industry does it, and how basic scientific literacy can help you spot it.
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/26/2022 • 21 minutes, 58 seconds
Making sense of Australia in 2022, with special guest Michael West in the Fat Cave
Australia’s leading independent investigative journalist Michael West talks to me unscripted and honestly about the Australia we find ourselves in…
More channels for Mike: https://www.michaelwest.com.au/
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https://www.instagram.com/michaelwest...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/24/2022 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 21 seconds
About Polestar 2 crossing the Nullabor, running on chip fat power
This week's malignant green washing goes to Australia's newest and most irrelevant electric car brand, Polestar (AKA electric Volvo) and this one really is export grade. Here's the latest publicity stunt which tries to spin the inconvenient CO2 facts.
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/19/2022 • 22 minutes, 42 seconds
Hyundai i20 N review, track thrash & buyer's guide
The new Hyundai i20 N is the baby performance car in the range, so it's not quite as quick on the limit as an i30 N, but hey, $10K cheaper by the time you get it on the road. It's less of a computer game, and more of a pure mechanical driving experience. Let's see if I can't break it...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/17/2022 • 28 minutes
How to avoid blowing yourself up around your car
Countermeasures for 10 ways people commonly blow themselves up, and wake up in the burns unit. Here’s how to not become a fireball...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/13/2022 • 38 minutes, 5 seconds
Omicron, Australia and the incompetence of leadership and the mainstream media
Our country has turned to shit thanks to a gross failure of leadership. Here's why...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/12/2022 • 23 minutes, 44 seconds
SsangYong Musso 2022: The problem with towing 3500kg
Ssanyong versus the truth: Towing three and a half tons with a new SsanYong Musso. Spoiler alert: it's an unacceptably bad idea. Here's why...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/10/2022 • 20 minutes, 3 seconds
Do fuel trucks stir up sediment in underground service station tanks?
When a fuel tanker is refuelling a service station's underground tanks, does it actually stir up water and sediment? Should you steer clear of that filling station forecourt to avoid sucking all of that contaminants into your engine? Let's talk about that...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/9/2022 • 14 minutes, 47 seconds
Honda's alleged new momentum is bullshit
Reality and Honda Australia have finally parted ways, officially. Here's what happens when the facts don't matter in corporate communications and marketing...
On Bullshit by Harry G Frankfurt >>
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1/7/2022 • 11 minutes, 2 seconds
Everything wrong with Mazda in a single press release
If you're in the market for a new car, there's a good chance you're considering a Mazda CX-5 mid-size SUV, or something similar. Here's how Mazda's most recent 'update' to the model has been depicted to you, the consumer. Sadly, they've been highly efficient achievement at being out of touch...
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1/7/2022 • 17 minutes, 30 seconds
How to use a ladder safely (PSA)
You versus gravity. How to have fun in your very own fat cave without becoming a sideshow in your local hospital's currently overworked emergency department. This report is a PSA.
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1/4/2022 • 28 minutes, 8 seconds
Everything wrong with the car industry in 2021: The anti-awards ceremony
In case you missed it, here's a flashback to all the fun and antics the Australian car industry got up to during 2021. Remember this list when you consider buying a new car in 2022.
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1/1/2022 • 27 minutes, 51 seconds
BMW 420i review: Should you buy the base model? Plus: Fat Cave upgrade!
Coming up the BMW 420i: I'm going to try my hardest to save you about 10 or 15 grand on the entry-level BMW sedan if you're in the market for a luxury new car. Plus a critical fat cave upgrade.
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12/31/2021 • 35 minutes, 58 seconds
Why 'Zero Emissions Vehicle' will be the great auto industry lie of 2022
It's pretty hard to imagine a more insidious bullshit buzzword in 2021 than 'Zero Emissions'. This catchphrase rolls off the tongues of every politician, marketing and public relations employee, and every so-called journalist. The problem is scientific illiteracy. Here's why zero emissions is a lie...
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12/28/2021 • 17 minutes, 27 seconds
Why is Tesla selling 2021 cars with 2017 batteries?
Did Electric Jesus (Elon Musk) just admit that Tesla batteries were just as imperfect as every other carmaker, losing range over time?
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12/23/2021 • 22 minutes, 17 seconds
Measuring cargo volume: Hyundai Staria Load VS Toyota Hiace van comparison
How do they actually measure cargo volumes? The boot space, the ute tray, the volume in the van. Are manufacturer claims trustworthy?
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12/18/2021 • 14 minutes, 5 seconds
Hyundai Staria LOAD van review: Buy this or a Toyota Hiace?
Here's everything you need to know about Hyundai's new workhorse, and how it compares to the Toyota Hiace, so you can make the informed choice about your business's next new van...
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12/17/2021 • 24 minutes, 47 seconds
The national Adblue shortage and crisis explained using facts
The so-called AdBlue crisis has been blown out of proportion by the mainstream media and the politicians in charge haven't got a clue how to solve it. Here's the trucking truth behind the AdBlue shortage...
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12/15/2021 • 18 minutes, 15 seconds
Toyota launches ultra-dodgy 'subscribe to start your car' payment model
Toyota, the king of mediocrity, has just announced it wants to make you pay twice for remote engine start, which it says requires a subscription in the US. Despite having sold consumers on having full-time permanent access, critically, Toyota also never informed anyone these strings were attached...
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12/13/2021 • 21 minutes, 43 seconds
LPG gas bottles for BBQ-burning bogans (& 'beer garden' physicists)
If you own a BBQ or you're a blue-singlet bogan with a ute and camping gear, you probably have an LPG bottle sitting under your deck or in the tray, possibly even on the roof rack. Here's the beer garden physics and ghetto engineering of LPG in a can...
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12/12/2021 • 23 minutes, 37 seconds
Mitsubishi Pajero Sport & towing a heavy caravan: What's the limit?
Let us use a disciplined rational approach to selecting the right new vehicle for your next heavy towing assignment before heading off for the Christmas holidays.
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12/10/2021 • 18 minutes, 54 seconds
What is the Atkinson Cycle, and how does it work?
"Atkinson Cycle" might sound very technical, but you need to know the nuts and bolts of how it works in a modern engine because your next new car could very likely use this fuel efficiency hack. Time for some beer garden physics...
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12/8/2021 • 11 minutes, 21 seconds
Ford botches new Ranger public release (at least they're consistent)
Ford Australia's marketing department has done it again, this time with the new hero Ranger ute, in 2022. Here's how they got it wrong, again...
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12/6/2021 • 10 minutes, 58 seconds
Mitsubishi faces class action over fuel economy deception claims
Mitsubishi Australia finds itself in something of a bind, inconveniently, they've broken the law simply by complying with a different but equally non-negotiable law and now they're looking down the barrel of a multi-million dollar class action.
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12/5/2021 • 13 minutes, 27 seconds
Mazda found guilty of misleading & deceptive conduct in Federal Court
This is what happens when a carmaker bends its customers over and the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (the regulator) wakes up. Senior executive teeth are almost guaranteed to be gnashing in the Mazda Australia boardroom about this, despite being entirely self-inflicted. Details next...
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12/4/2021 • 16 minutes, 59 seconds
Honda Australia's Epic Price Fail: Over $47K for new 2022 Civic
How divorced from reality can a car company actually get? Honda Australia is trying it on with the new 2022, which will launch next week. It's the same size, same weight, offers no real innovation and is only slightly less ugly than the previous incarnation. With only one model in the range, it now costs 20 per cent more...
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12/2/2021 • 15 minutes, 9 seconds
2022 Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross PHEV full review & eco assessment
If you're on the cusp of spending the big bucks on a plug-in hybrid, the new Eclipse Cross PHEV is a $15,000 premium over the combustion-only version, so here's exactly what you need to know before making the choice.
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12/2/2021 • 22 minutes, 14 seconds
How safe are electric cars in a crash?
Electric cars and crash testing: How safe are electric vehicles and how would anyone actually know? Many people buying an EV today believe they're inherently safe, but the facts on this issue are somewhat outdated.
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11/30/2021 • 25 minutes, 25 seconds
Ultimate auto-darkening welding helmet DIY modification
If you're going to get started in welding, or even if you're getting reacquainted after many long years, or if you're something a Jedi Master controlling light with your mind, here's a neat little hack you can make to your welding helmet that literally turns night into day. Check it out...
And no, this is not about cars. But you might love DIY workshop stuff, so here's some bonus content for you if you're into that.
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Olight Christmas sale >> (Search here for Perun MINI.)
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11/29/2021 • 20 minutes, 20 seconds
2022 Kia Sportage Powertrains Explained: Which one is right for you?
Following from my previous review of the 2022 Kia Sportage, it's time to talk about which engine and transmission is going to best suit you if you're in the market for a new mid-size SUV. Here's how you can choose the right powertrain for your driving...
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11/26/2021 • 22 minutes, 57 seconds
2022 Kia Sportage Review and Buyer's Guide: Everything I Love and Hate
Here are the top 10 things I love and hate about Kia’s first good-looking mid-size SUV in years. If you’re in the market, this review is the one you need to watch…
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11/25/2021 • 26 minutes, 31 seconds
The $5000-$10,000 car insurance trap and how you can fix it
This public service announcement could stop you getting face to face with a cash shortfall which you cannot jump over, should your car get unfortunately written off in a crash.
If you've got comprehensive car insurance, you need to address this problem now, before it's too late.
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11/23/2021 • 10 minutes, 13 seconds
Aerodynamics and towing your caravan (need to know)
Yet another Australian caravanner is attempting to modify their big, heavy toilet-on-wheel in order to cure a problem so enormous they fail to see the error of their ways. Here's why your DIY caravan accessory won't solve your aerodynamic drag problem...
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11/22/2021 • 15 minutes
Mega Q&A, including: 'Is it really necessary to warm up a modern car?'
Here are my responses to a wave of questions from you regarding my recent reports on batteries, solar panels, metalwork, new car shortages, electric vehicles and portable powerstations...
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11/21/2021 • 39 minutes, 42 seconds
New Car Shortage: Top 6 tips for effective car-buying in 2022
Insiders say 2023 will likely be the recovery year for supply. So here’s my top six tips for buying a new car effectively in 2022.
In this report: State of play for the new car market, based on expert, insider observations, and six core strategies, which are actionable by you, today, to smooth this process out, Plus, there’s a new dealership scam to avoid as well, right at the end.
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11/18/2021 • 21 minutes, 3 seconds
DIY skills: Choosing the right abrasives for grinding and sanding
In this report: Aluminium oxide versus zirconia versus ceramic versus silicon carbide: Which abrasive is right for your application, and how can you tell them apart?
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11/17/2021 • 16 minutes, 54 seconds
Net-zero integrity: Scott Morrison's absurd, unworkable EV policy scam
Scotty From Marketing woke up the other day and proposed 1.7 million electric vehicles on the road here in Australia, by 2030. Just like that.
As outright misrepresentations of reality go, this is up there with anti-vaxxers, flat-Earthers and moon landing deniers.
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11/15/2021 • 19 minutes, 37 seconds
Solar cell deep-dive: How they work, what holds them back, & EVs with rooftop panels
Understanding exactly how solar cells work, the fundamental efficiency limits, and why electric vehicles don’t get rooftop panels… Get ready for some beer garden physics...
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11/14/2021 • 34 minutes, 54 seconds
Volkswagen loses battle over $125M fine in High Court
The world's most inhuman and anti-environmental carmaker, Volkswagen, has just emerged from the High Court of Australia with its trousers around its ankles, and a $125 million bill in its hand, again. 2021 hasn't been such a bad year after all...
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11/13/2021 • 13 minutes, 50 seconds
Understanding batteries: Watt-hours Vs Amp-hours, power, energy and more
Batteries are everywhere today and their technical specifications are a comprehension nightmare for most consumers. Here’s how you can understand the power age you live in…
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11/12/2021 • 42 minutes
Why are most petrol V6 engines so terrible?
The most common V6 petrol engines are terrible. Toyota Kluger, Hyundai Santa Fe & Kia Sorento, I'm looking at you. But why are they bad?
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11/8/2021 • 17 minutes, 55 seconds
Best in-car/4WD portable battery power bank? Bluetti AC200P review
If you're a tradie, an off-roading enthusiast, perhaps an avid camper, or even just an appreciator of clever new gadgets built to work and play, then you might like to check out the Bluetti AC200P - capable of battery resurrection, power tool operation or even emergency power supply. Here's what I think of it...
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11/7/2021 • 21 minutes, 50 seconds
Honda's epic price-fixing tantrum
Honda’s price-fixing tantrum in Tullamarine has reached fever pitch. Honda Australia has hit back at Worst Price Promise critics, including me, presumably. A full-on corporate tantrum is the perfect end to a post-lockdown week...
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10/29/2021 • 23 minutes, 48 seconds
Top 10 critical mistakes most new car buyers will make in 2022
Buying a new car is a big deal for most people, and it's very hard to get honest, good quality, independent advice. Most automotive media is dependent on advertising and won't give you the truth.
Here are the biggest car buying mistakes I hear people about to make, or who already have. I'll tell you how to do it the right way...
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10/28/2021 • 31 minutes, 12 seconds
Should I buy a hybrid car or SUV in 2022 and beyond?
Here are the top 10 things you need to know about buying a hybrid in 2022, and in particular, a Toyota hybrid. But the information here pertains to the entire hybrid market generally.
If you're in the market for any hybrid vehicle, this is going to help you...
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10/27/2021 • 27 minutes, 44 seconds
Dealers sue Mercedes-Benz for $650 Million in Goodwill Destruction Damages
Eight out of 10 Mercedes-Benz dealers in Australia have fired back at Mercedes Australia and the Stuttgart headquarters, saying the fixed price agency model is an ethical violation of their contract to negotiate with consumers when selling vehicles. This could change the industry by setting a new legal precedent for retailers.
Here's the next chapter in this hilariously ironic saga...
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10/21/2021 • 16 minutes, 2 seconds
Honda sales implode under new 'agency' retail sales model
Honda Australia boned many of its dealers in July this year, and now it seems the public is boning them. Three months in, Honda sales have tanked to the worst level since records began.
This mad commercial experiment is exactly how a carmaker can shoot itself in the foot with you, the consumer...
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10/19/2021 • 13 minutes, 12 seconds
Mercedes-Benz Discounts are Dead: Price Negotiating Terminated from 2022
BMW and Audi will be celebrating as Mercedes-Benz Australia vows to remove your ability to negotiate a better price on that dream three-pointed star you've always wanted.
Let discuss why the agency retail model is bad for consumers, but even worse for brands dumb enough to try it on...
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10/18/2021 • 18 minutes, 43 seconds
Ford offers Everest BaseCamp owners $2k in compensation - or possible refund
The Ford Everest Basecamp has officially been subjected to a compensation or possible refund program, once you sign the paperwork and promise never to bother Ford Australia about it ever again. If you bought one based on the marketing promises of that roof rack, here's what you need to know...
It's a win for consumers, like you, for once.
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10/15/2021 • 19 minutes, 58 seconds
Toyota LandCruiser 300: Indefinite production delays nobody wants to talk about
Toyota Australia still cannot tell you when, or even if, you can finally have that new 300 Series LandCruiser which has been getting you excited in your trousers.
You know who you are. Here's what's happening right now with LC300 orders, dealers and head office in the midst of a production fiasco.
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10/14/2021 • 16 minutes, 46 seconds
FAKE NEWS: How the automotive (and other) media betrayed the public trust
Here's how the mainstream media has turned car reviews and public trust in journalism into a joke, and why AutoExpert has become, seemingly, the only place where consumers can access the truth when shopping for their next new car...
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10/6/2021 • 26 minutes, 51 seconds
How to get out of buying a new car after signing the contract
If you've signed the contract on a new car, paid a deposit, and realised you need to back out of the deal, here's how you can dodge that bullet...
This video is an answer to the following viewer's question: "Unbeknown to me, my daughter signed a 'Contract for the Purchase of a New Vehicle', (a Suzuki Vitara Turbo), and has paid $250 deposit with a further $750 to be paid if contract rescinded. Suzuki has approved finance (3.99% fixed rate for 7 years). Cost of car, including window tinting, 12 mths rego, floor mats and extended warranty $36,340. Given that a contract has been signed, I'm assuming that it would be too late to use your service now?" - Robyn
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10/5/2021 • 17 minutes, 7 seconds
New car lemon: This one free hack could protect you
If you're in Australia and you buy any new car in the forseeable future, and you don't do this one simple thing to protect yourself, you're a goose - however unwittingly.
Do not make this mistake when shopping for your next new car...
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Timothy Rigby Vs LDV judgement: https://www.queenslandjudgments.com.a...
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10/3/2021 • 14 minutes, 16 seconds
DON'T BUY WARNING: The truth about owning an LDV in Australia
The jury is basically in on whether buying the ultra-cheap LDV brand here in Australia, all thanks to a Queensland consumer court ruling.
Here's what happened...
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9/30/2021 • 16 minutes, 54 seconds
How to repair a roadside puncture (best method for a car tyre)
How do you repair a punctured tyre at the side of the road? It's dead easy and essential for getting you and your family out of trouble and mobile again - quickly. I'll show you how by deliberately punching a hole in my own tyre and demonstrating. The things I do for you...
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9/26/2021 • 20 minutes, 40 seconds
EV recharging explained: Everything practical you need to know
Electric cars and recharging, kilowatt-hours, amps, batteries and plugging into the lifestyle of filling up with electrons. Leaving the fossil fuel era behind never looked so good, right? But how ready are you for doing it every day? Let's get your ready to go EV...
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9/25/2021 • 24 minutes, 38 seconds
Hyundai IONIQ 5 EV - full launch, price & specification details
The good news is that after 8-12 months of deafening silence, IONIQ 5 orders will finally open to VIPs on October 12, and to the general public on the 13th. A $2000 deposit is required, and orders will be taken online only.
Delivery is slated for late this year, possibly early next, because as you know everything automotive is up in the air right now.
I got a couple of hours to climb all over a pre-production IONIQ 5, between lockdowns, and it is pretty exciting to see the rapid product evolution in the metal. This is a ground-up EV with none of the fundamental engineering compromises inherent in jamming an electric powertrain inside an established combustion platform.
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9/21/2021 • 20 minutes, 27 seconds
4WD dual-cab utes and the 'bent chassis' problem: THE TRUTH
If you think loading up your ute to its maximum payload, hitching a trailer and hitting the bush tracks is going to keep your chassis running straight and true, think again.
Here's what happens when your ute chassis goes ping, courtesy of a great question from a dude named Geoff.
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9/19/2021 • 21 minutes, 22 seconds
4x4 suspension lift: Good idea or bad idea?
The truth about lifting your four-wheel drive. Owning a 4X4 ute or wagon doesn't get any more Australian than pumping up the testosterone factor by giving your vehicle's suspension the big vertical jacking.
Let's talk about why it's both a good idea and a very bad one...
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9/16/2021 • 25 minutes, 45 seconds
You vs Dealer: How to get a problem car fixed
Yesterday I did 'why warranty doesn't matter' and many of you asked me exactly how to advocate for a fair go at the dealership, if your car is defective and you're not getting the support you need (or the support you think you need).
This report is the roadmap to achieving that - or at least how I think you should play it.
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9/14/2021 • 36 minutes, 42 seconds
New car warranty doesn't matter. (Only customer support does...)
Why warranty doesn't matter in 2021 and beyond. I'll tell you why and explain how customer support is the paramount buying criteria when it comes to aftersales service.
There's a very good reason I name and shame the brands that treat consumers like rubbish, and why I celebrate those brands which do the right thing by you.
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9/13/2021 • 22 minutes, 31 seconds
Hyundai Staria vs Kia Carnival: What's the best people mover in 2021?
Which of these breeder busses is the best? If you need big load space, multiple child restraints and walk-in access for the extended family, these are the two best vehicles for that purpose - and they beat seven-seat SUVs hands-down.
Let's discuss why they're the best tool for the job, starting with you...
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9/11/2021 • 28 minutes, 43 seconds
Toyota LandCruiser 300 Series delays extend to 4 years: Japanese report.
Pre-orders for the upcoming Toyota LandCruiser 300 Series have surpassed 21,500 units, but Toyota plans to build only 5000 LandCruisers annually - that's four years of production.
And that means, if you order a popular model, like the GR or Sahara, you could pay a deposit today, and not get your LandCruiser until 2024 or 2025...
Details emerged from BestCarWeb in Japan recently - full details here, but you'll need to run Google Translate. And even then, it's only loosely in English.
Link to the BestCarWeb report here: https://bestcarweb.jp/news/scoop/319125
It's also been reported by https://performancedrive.com.au/toyot...
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9/10/2021 • 13 minutes, 18 seconds
Should you buy a Chinese MG in Australia in 2021?
These upstart Chinese challengers, bringing it to the Japanese and the South Koreans - the price is right - but that’s hardly everything. I get variations on this question all the time, so let's see how they stack up to the established mainstream brands...
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9/7/2021 • 18 minutes, 20 seconds
How much power does it really take to tow?
How much engine power does it actually take to just drive down the road? And then, how much additional power do you require to tow your mighty caravan into the wild blue yonder? Let's crunch some numbers.
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9/3/2021 • 24 minutes, 11 seconds
LOCKDOWN LIFE: Making friends with heavy metalwork. (Ghetto engineering PhD fundamentals.)
Here's the first of many reports exploring the depths of metalwork on the path to giving you your official doctorate in ghetto engineering, for the welders, boilermakers, backyard machinists and frustrated tinkerers among you.
First, let's talk about the tools you'll need to do the job properly, without breaking into the kids' inheritance.
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9/2/2021 • 52 minutes, 45 seconds
The advanced guide to using high tensile bolts properly
This is the ultimate deep-dive tech talk about using high tensile bolts, threads and nuts - perfect for anybody studying, or working in industry, automotive, parts, fabrication or just all-round nerds looking to learn during lockdown.
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8/31/2021 • 43 minutes, 50 seconds
DON'T BUY: Volkswagen Amarok V6 W-Series
My very good friends at Volkswagen have teamed up with Australia’s premier antique bumper bar factory in beautiful, scenic Clayton, and they’ve made their outdated death-trap dual-cab even faster.
As a discerning automotive consumer, one of the most valuable skills you should develop is to listen hard for what carmakers do not say in the brochure.
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8/27/2021 • 17 minutes, 42 seconds
When should you modify your vehicle?
This episode is an attempt to answer a series of questions from Gary Sheppard, about modifying a 4WD vehicle including wagons and utes. He's waiting for his Mitsubishi Triton to arrive and meanwhile, he's watching far too much 4X4 modification porn which is all over YouTube.
Here's how you sharpen your mind to deal with that influx of advertising, influence and pressure to spend your money...
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8/25/2021 • 33 minutes, 35 seconds
The applied physics of high tensile bolted joints and assembly in cars
Responding to comments in my recent "Cracked!" report on poor installation of a towbar on a Ford Ranger and the consequences of hitching up a trailer. This is the full-fat university class on bolts and washers, and putting them together on a car.
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8/24/2021 • 30 minutes, 36 seconds
CRACKED! Hi-tensile bolts Vs chassis Vs dealer incompetence
What happens when an incompetent dealership service department and appalling customer service combine on a Ford Ranger's towbar after three years of ownership? You get a consumer left high and dry by Ford Australia, the dealer and unable to tow a trailer for their business.
Here's what happened...
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8/23/2021 • 20 minutes, 32 seconds
COVID-19 Delta: The pandemic of high-level dishonesty in NSW (Part 2)
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8/20/2021 • 23 minutes, 22 seconds
COVID-19 Delta: The pandemic of high-level dishonesty in NSW (Part 1)
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8/19/2021 • 31 minutes, 33 seconds
The Applied Physics of Heavy Towing
This report is aimed at you if you are towing a heavy trailer (boat, caravan, etc., or you're contemplating getting started doing that.
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8/17/2021 • 49 minutes, 37 seconds
When can I use '4H' in my new 4X4?
Using 4H to increase stability and traction. What are the consequences if you get this wrong?
Specifically, a viewer asked if it's OK to use 4H on wet main roads, or unsealed roads. Essentially, I don't think it is, because it will increase driveline wear, and in extreme situations it might break something expensive, and also leave you stranded.
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8/13/2021 • 16 minutes, 48 seconds
The heavyweight problem with Ford Everest Basecamp
Ford Everest Basecamp has a problem: Ford cannot get the roof rack load right. The manual says '100kg' but the vehicle is fitted with a Rhino Rack and Sunseeker Awning, and Rhino says you need to reduce the payload by 33% if you go off road.
Pro Tip: On Rhino-world, 'off-road' means 'unsealed'. So, if you drive on a dirt road, you can only carry 37 kilos of stuff - once you crunch the numbers.
Small problem: Ford's depiction of the vehicle clearly shows it carrying a load substantially higher than that. Well done... Of course, the Everest Basecamp owner's manual makes no mention of any of these standard-accessory-generated limitations.
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8/12/2021 • 15 minutes, 48 seconds
What's the best 4X4 dual cab ute for families and towing in 2021
Today's 'unplugged' video is an attempt to get to the bottom of the best 4X4 dual cab ute for towing and families.
I'm answering this question: "Hi mate, loved reading though all your articles. I'm currently looking to get out of my VW Transporter and into a ute. Work has changed and more towing looks to be in my future, as for the need for more than two seats with extra people on the way. Not looking for anything to really go off-road with, I have a 2002 Prado that I go offroad and up the beach with. Realistically looking for a ute with good towing capacity, safety features and a couple interior niceties. Any help would be grand!" - Mark Edmonds
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8/10/2021 • 17 minutes, 50 seconds
The top 5 lessons you need to know about new-car shortages in 2021
How do you tell a story about cars that don’t exist, and may never? And what do you expect if you just put down a deposit on one? Here are the top five lessons I’ve learned from working through the biggest new car market inversion I’ve ever witnessed.
Buying a car today is just not the same beast it was two years ago, when the dynamics were flipped, and oversupply flooded the market, making it a buyer's paradise. Here's what you need to know.
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8/9/2021 • 12 minutes, 37 seconds
2022 Isuzu MU-X Official Pricing Rip-Off: Full Details.
Isuzu Ute is intelligence testing its customers by seeing if you will pay full price for their mid-spec LS-U MU-X 4WD 'SUV', based on the D-Max ute. If you buy one, you fail the test.
This is how the cake of corporate fiasco gets baked. It's either unprincipled or incompetent conduct. I am struggling to identify a more forgivable explanation.
I detailed the price ramp-up in my previous report (and it has come to pass), listen here: https://anchor.fm/autoexpert/episodes/2022-Isuzu-MU-X-Will-the-9k-price-rise-stop-you-from-buying-e15173q
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8/7/2021 • 22 minutes, 8 seconds
2022 Hyundai Staria People Mover: Full Pricing, Specs and Details
The all-new Hyundai Staria could be the best people mover in the market (according to Hyundai), so take that, Kia Carnival and Honda Odyssey.
In this livestream with Q&A, I'll deep-dive into the product and give you exclusive access to a leaked, confidential dealer bulletin that's not meant to be in the public domain. Plus, I take your questions on Staria and everything else.
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8/6/2021 • 1 hour, 27 minutes, 58 seconds
Toyota Landcruiser 300 GR Sport & Sahara ZX flagships: Pricing & Specs
Toyota has just confirmed pricing and basic specs on two new flagship Landcruiser 300 models - the Landcruiser Sahara ZX & GR Sport.
But if you had any plans to drive them away with any substantial change left over from about $150k, you'll probably be disappointed.
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8/5/2021 • 17 minutes, 12 seconds
Ford Ranger clone: 2023 Volkswagen Amarok versus VW public relations
Volkswagen senior executives claim the new 2023 Amarok will be 100 per cent a Volkswagen, despite being co-developed by Ford, being built by Ford in a Ford factory, despite rolling on the Ford Ranger platform, and also (most probably) running the Ford Ranger powertrains...
So, apart from those pesky details - the 2023 Amarok is definitely not a hastily-re-badged Ranger.
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8/3/2021 • 17 minutes, 17 seconds
What has Nissan done to the Mitsubishi Triton? The unholy alliance with Navara
The next Mitsubishi Triton (called the L200 in other markets) will look like a Triton, but it will be a Nissan Navara under the skin.
The Navarafication of Triton is a disaster for Mitsubishi (and Triton aficionados - of which I am one) and in fact the Tritonification of Navara is a far superior concept with nothing but upside for Navara (not to mention Triton) - but never underestimate the gross stupidity of large organisations.
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8/2/2021 • 19 minutes, 49 seconds
What kills your clutch, and how to avoid it
If you are waiting at red lights with your foot on the clutch, poised to take off, with first gear selected, you are almost certainly shortening the life of your clutch - and maybe also blowing your engine.
Two reasons for this. One is really good, and the other is even better.
(Warning - this report contains actual physics, and basic metallurgy...)
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8/1/2021 • 29 minutes, 36 seconds
Premium fuel Vs 91 RON (Vs sulphur content): You need to get this right!
It's 91 RON petrol versus your engine - and the questionable ‘advice’ you might get from the dude in your service department. (Advice: probably the wrong word for something with such a distinctive smell.)
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7/30/2021 • 20 minutes, 57 seconds
Will Kia Kill the Stinger in 2022?
SPECULATION: Kia looks almost certain to kill the Stinger at the end of 2022 - this has not been confirmed officially, but plenty of corroborating evidence exists to support the 'balance of probability' conclusion that the death of the Stinger will occur significantly earlier than the 2024 end date generally accepted as the long-term end of the Stinger's lifecycle.
So, if you've always wanted one, now is the time to act.
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7/29/2021 • 13 minutes, 19 seconds
How lockdown kills your car's cold-cranking battery - and how to fix it
As Sydney enters another month of lockdown, let's talk about what that means for the battery in your car. Here's exactly what you can do to avoid the dead battery pandemic.
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7/28/2021 • 14 minutes, 33 seconds
Hyundai's XCIENT Adventure: Overtaking Tesla in a Hydrogen Truck!
Hyundai will deploy 30 EXCIENT fuel cell trucks in California, by 2023, ahead of the Tesla Semi, which is invariably delayed. This is a clean air pilot programme supported by the California Air Resources Board and the California Energy Commission.
Deployment of Hyundai EXCIENT fuel cell trucks in California comes off the back of the initial deployment of 46 EXCIENT trucks deployed in Switzerland, which is just the first wave of 1600 EXCIENT trucks in total to be deployed to Europe by 2025.
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7/27/2021 • 13 minutes, 59 seconds
2022 Isuzu MU-X: Will the $9k price rise stop you from buying?
Isuzu is roughly three days out from launching the MY22 MU-X, but prices seem certain to rise by an incredible $9000.
In this report, we'll discuss that, plus the key competitors, the relative merits of seven seat SUVs like this, which are derived from the utes in the same stables, and a major mistake I see SUV buyers make when they formulate a shortlist (and how you can avoid making it).
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7/26/2021 • 20 minutes, 17 seconds
Australian road trip basics: Should you carry spare fuel?
It is 2696km by road from Adelaide to Perth in Australia (via the Nullabor Plain). That's if you go the 'quick' way.
It's up to 190km between fuel stops, in some very remote country.
Here, in this Q&A report, one loyal viewer asks me if it's a good idea to carry spare fuel for the trip. Pro tip: it's really not, but there are some other important factors that you should consider if you want to get there with minimal drama.
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7/25/2021 • 26 minutes, 48 seconds
Towing 3500kg with your 4WD ute: Worst idea ever
Ute manufacturers tell you that towing 3500kg is possible - desirable, even. But in reality, towing 3500kg with your ute is a dangerous joke, and many people who attempt this are driving illegally.
It's also fundamentally stupid from a safety perspective - so there's that.
In this report, I lay out the beer garden physics of heavy towing stupidity - in response to a question from you.
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7/23/2021 • 30 minutes, 25 seconds
The Fake Auto Parts Pandemic?
Toyota’s 'other' PR agency - the Federal Chamber of Automotive industries - recently teamed up, ineffectively, with the Australian Border, to curtail a mostly imaginary fake auto parts pandemic. A counterfeit car parts crime spree. And it’s not exactly working, which I recently proved, with a scientific test.
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7/19/2021 • 19 minutes, 56 seconds
Don't buy a new Honda in 2021 or 2022: Here's why...
Honda Australia is the proverbial cockroach that has lost its head, wandering around aimlessly bumping into things. If you're looking to buy a Honda in the next two years, I strongly urge against it. The brand has officially crushed the consumer's ability to negotiate a better deal.
Here's what that means for you...
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7/9/2021 • 18 minutes, 10 seconds
Cylinder deactivation - how, why & should you own a car with this tech?
Cylinder deactivation takes multiple engine cylinders out of play at low loads (by closing the valves and turning the injectors off). It saves a small amount of fuel when cruising on the highway. But Mazda's cylinder deactivation tech on the 2.5 SKYACTIV gasoline engine was the subject of a major recall in the US (and here in Australia).
So, is buying a CX-5, Mazda3 or Mazda6 with this engine a mistake in 2021 or 2022?
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7/2/2021 • 27 minutes, 40 seconds
How to run in a modern engine (even on a performance car)
If you're about to drop the big bucks and take ownership of a brand new car, here's a simple breakdown of how to run-in the engine, free of the myth and uninformed opinions formulated from the dark ages of automotive technology (the 1970s).
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6/27/2021 • 14 minutes, 9 seconds
Toyota LandCruiser 300 diesel V6: Is the hot vee a lemon?
The new Landcruiser 300 V6 diesel engine will feature a so-called 'hot vee' - where the exhaust is in the vee between the cylinder banks, and the inlets are to the sides.
And this does have some technical benefits, like minimising lag and maximising efficiency. Merc, BMW and Audi have adopted some hot vee engines.
But they are prone to heat-related problems, like excessive oil consumption, and premature valve seal failures. Toyota has had a litany of technical problems in recent years, concerning the deployment of far simpler tech (like the 2.8 diesel DPF failure fiasco).
Do you slam $100k (or more) on the table and roll that dice, or watch from the sidelines while others roll it for themselves?
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6/27/2021 • 22 minutes, 36 seconds
Toyota LandCruiser 300: Why the media is so wrong about this vehicle
The motoring media is currently rather busy gushing over the new Toyota LandCruiser 300, desperate to keep the brand happy as an advertiser. But that means if you're a consumer, doing research and trying to decide if you will buy one, you are not getting the full story...
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6/25/2021 • 14 minutes, 54 seconds
What is a roll moment? (Vehicle dynamics basics.)
Roll moments, roll centres, inertial loads, mass centres, roll axes - let’s step into the Ghetto Engineering lecture theatre. Please, take your seats, buckle in...
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Graeme Gambold interview video: https://youtu.be/ks-utIXFJvM Podcast (audio-only version, for listening in the car, etc.): https://anchor.fm/autoexpert
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6/21/2021 • 32 minutes, 6 seconds
Politician versus YouTuber: The attempt to silence FriendlyJordies
This one is not about cars - but this is an important video with far-reaching implications in the public interest.
The FriendlyJordies YouTube channel is under attack - bizarrely - by the NSW deputy premier, John Barilaro.
If you think we have a 'free speech' society, you need to watch this.
Here's what happens if you say what you really think in this country. All I want to know is: Who's next?
Watch the full FriendlyJordies 'Arrested' video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXtq4...
The legal fund: Legal Fund: https://www.friendlyjordies.com/legal...
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6/21/2021 • 13 minutes, 23 seconds
Another Fiat Chrysler spare parts fiasco: what to do about it
An un-edited and unsolicited e-mail from an owner of a typical Chrysler 300C landed in my inbox.
$2000 for a water pump, on a Chrysler 300 with 40,000km on the clock - and no offer of assistance. (And they wonder why the brand is in trouble.) Here's what happened...
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6/19/2021 • 22 minutes, 3 seconds
What's the best SUV for big families? No, it's not an SUV...
If you've got 3 kids and you just found out you're having twins ... transportation nightmare, right? What's the best SUV for that?
The somewhat confronting answer for many is simple: No SUV will be as good as a Kia Carnival at this.
My Carnival review: https://autoexpert.com.au/posts/2021-kia-carnival-full-australian-review-and-buyers-guide
Current generation Carnival in detail: 2021 Kia Carnival: Australian review - everything you'll love and hate
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6/17/2021 • 14 minutes, 52 seconds
Everything wrong with the mighty Toyota Landcruiser 300
Toyota has had 14 long years to get the upcoming 300 Series right. But once again, they've cemented its position as the King of automotive mediocrity.
Toyota is drip-feeding information to whip up ongoing interest, and the media, thanks to bad advertising incentives and a short attention span, is just lapping it up. Nobody is calling Toyota out on their average effort with new LandCruiser, such is the appeal of that steady-flowing advertising revenue stream.
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6/16/2021 • 20 minutes, 28 seconds
2022 Kia Cerato livestream review Q&A
The new Kia Cerato is about to land in showrooms. So, if you're considering that popular SUV because everybody else is, you should consider saving thousands by getting the so-called small car, which in many instances, has more space.
Download the official 2022 Kia Cerato press release and specifications here: https://spaces.hightail.com/receive/8...
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6/11/2021 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 10 seconds
Vehicle dynamics and suspension tech deep-dive
This is the definitive vehicle dynamics deep-dive with industry expert Graeme Gambold.
Graeme is a mechanical engineer with a 30-year pedigree in dynamics development, as well as being a competitive rally driver. He's the chief engineer at the Southern Hemisphere Proving Ground, in addition to running Kia's local suspension development in Australia.
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If you remember what Peter Schreyer did for Kia several years ago - he’s the bold Bavarian former Audi designer responsible for the TT, whom Kia poached in 2006 to right the ship stylistically.
Most people in the game know of Peter Schreyer. He’s a bit of a design legend.
Look at it like this. Graeme Gambold is the dude who makes those Kia vehicles drive in line with the way they look now - in Australia. And that’s no small achievement in my book.
If you own a Stinger or a Cerato GT and you’ve tipped it in hard once or twice - and enjoyed doing it - you’ve got G-squared to thank for that. He’s forgotten more than you and I will ever know about vehicle dynamics, and it’s a deadset pleasure to have him in the Fat Cave today.
I can’t think of a better first in-Cave studio guest.
6/5/2021 • 42 minutes, 39 seconds
The great EV rip-off: Australia confirmed as world's worst environmental joke
Politician versus environment: Victoria's unjust EV tax has passed through the upper house. (They're calling it a 'road user charge' because 'tax' is such a dirty word.) We are the only country in the world doing this - and it's because we lead the developed world in disgraceful environmental conduct.
In this report we meet one of the men who supported this bill - whose support was critical to getting it passed.
To be fair, he issued a press release championing what a top job he'd done here. How this was an excellent result. I just thought it was beyond due for a reality check on this insanity.
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6/2/2021 • 18 minutes, 2 seconds
Politician Vs your car: How your personal mobility is under attack
The NSW Planning Minister is officially on the record telling us all how bad personal cars are. How they enslave us, make us unhealthy and sedentary, and how EVs are more efficient, but they are not the answer.
No - I'm not joking. 12th Century, here we come, again, apparently.
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An unkind person might suggest that politicians in New South Wales are looking to do a ‘Victoria’ and implement a road-user tax on EVs, the better to further cement our national status as a global laughing stock on environmental issues.
5/27/2021 • 20 minutes, 48 seconds
In-car advertising. It's just around the corner. Welcome to Hell.
Ford has just filed a patent in the USA that will use cameras to beam roadside billboards into your car's infotainment display - together with special offers and calls to action. Welcome to automotive Hell.
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5/26/2021 • 10 minutes, 46 seconds
How long does fuel last in your car before it goes bad?
Fuel ‘going bad’. Spoiling in the tank. Thanks to COVID, lockdown and consequential driving inactivity.
Oxidation, evaporation, sedimentation, instability, phase separation... been getting this question a lot, through COVID. Lots of cars sitting around, not doing much driving. And certainly fuel - petrol and diesel - both change chemically over time.
But is this really something you need to worry about?
BP Fact Sheet on fuel life: https://www.bp.com/content/dam/bp/cou...
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Today's video is an attempt to answer the following question from a viewer named Paul:
"I’ve been reading up on how long petrol lasts before it "goes bad" both in the tank in my car and in a sealed fuel Jerry can. Then there are fuel stabilizers which extends the life. Then I saw an article stating fuel stored in steel cans lasts longer than plastic. What would be a plausible explanation for that? Or they might be saying the can itself lasts longer, dunno on that." - Paul
5/25/2021 • 20 minutes, 41 seconds
Ford Australia Fails Road Safety Survey Credibility Test
Where does Ford Australia find the time? Honestly, this is some of the company’s finest external communications work to date.
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5/21/2021 • 19 minutes, 59 seconds
Top 26 questions on Hydrogen Fuel Cell vehicles (FCEVs) answered
This report: The deep-dive into your comments & questions on hydrogen, Fuel Cell Electric Vehicles (FCEVs) and related issues, stemming from the recent Hyundai Nexo long distance driving world record.
About the Nexo world record: https://youtu.be/6qdUbKV1YmM
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5/18/2021 • 32 minutes, 5 seconds
Hyundai Nexo hydrogen car steals distance driving record from the French
A hydrogen fuel cell powered Hyundai Nexo has set a new long distance driving record. From civilisation (or its rough equivalent in ‘Straya) all the way to the outback.
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5/14/2021 • 17 minutes, 44 seconds
2021 Ford Mustang Mach 1: ultimate 'missing features' specification botch
Ford can’t even get the basic specs on a limited edition 2021 Mustang Mach 1 right. Pretty embarrassing, considering that’s their job...
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5/12/2021 • 10 minutes, 16 seconds
JobKeeper scheme fails the taxpayer & delivers more auto industry welfare
Several automotive companies in Australia swallowed millions in JobKeeper corporate welfare in 2020, despite returning multi-million-dollar profits in the same year. More taxpayer-funded welfare for the automotive industry, and a major regulatory failure by the Morrison Government.
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Mercedes-Benz managed to Hoover up almost $5 million in JobKeeper corporate welfare payments between April and September last year.
But COVID, frankly, was not a major hurdle for Mercedes: The company made $62.7 million in profit last year here in ‘Straya. And yet, it has no plans to give the JobKeeper funds back.
To qualify for JobKeeper, businesses like Mercedes with more than $1 billion in turnover had to estimate that their turnover would fall by 50 per cent or more.
It’s unclear exactly how Mercedes qualified for this support. Not that I can find.
Mercedes sold 38,684 vehicles in ‘Straya in 2019. In 2020, during the height of COVID, its sales were 36,233 vehicles. That’s hardly a turnover collapse.
Moving on now, to Ford: Ford needed to upgrade its vacuum cleaner to Hoover up $38 million in JobKeeper it received last year. Ford Australia posted a $59 million profit, which it described as a (quote) “solid result” in its 2020 financial reporting.
Eagers Automotive made $156 million profit last year, $133 million of that was JobKeeper.
Toyota announced in January that it would repay the $18 million it received in JobKeeper.
5/11/2021 • 21 minutes, 13 seconds
The truth about EVs, long-distance driving & regional recharging
If you own an electric vehicle (or you're thinking about buying one) here's how it's going to play out for long-distance driving in Australia.
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Finding the nearest charger in unfamiliar terrain is more than half the battle here - but provided you’ve got a smartphone and signal, the Chargefox app has you covered - seamlessly. It’s actually pretty easy to find the needle when the app deletes the haystack for you.
It’ll find you the nearest charger, give you real-time information about the charger’s status - like, is it operational and/or being used by some other EV owner. And it’ll integrate with Google Maps to give you turn-by-turn instructions to get you there.
You also start the charger, stop it, and pay for the electricity within the app - no lining up with the liquid-fuel customers, no paying at the cashier and no having the two-for-one Kit-Kat diabetes meal deal inflicted upon you. So that’s nice.
Plugging in - well, they have tried to make it look as much like conventional refuelling as possible. The outlets look like fuel bowsers, and the process is pretty easy. Now, the time to recharge kinda varies, because the outlet needs to talk to the car, and not fry the battery - but you’ll get from near zero to 80 per cent charge fairly fast.
Listen for more...
5/8/2021 • 16 minutes, 16 seconds
Why Victoria's EV subsidies are such an insult
The Victorian government has cooked up a sneaky Appeasement Burger on EVs - apparently there’s going to be subsidies now. And taxes. Which is of course intelligence-insulting and absurd. And don’t the lobby groups just love it?
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If you’re watching this from a civilised country, please accept my unreserved and sincere apologies. It must seem strange to see a jurisdiction this backward, connected to the Internet. But I assure you I’m not making this up.
The EV tax is still in, of course, but apparently there are also going to be EV subsidies now. So that’s not, like, robbing Peter to pay Peter, is it? It’s actually just so some minister can whip out the subsidies in press conferences to counter EV tax criticism from the dumb news media.
There will be 20,000 subsidies - which sound like a lot, but isn’t. $3000 apiece for EVs costing less than $69,000 as part of a $100 million so-called ‘EV encouragement package’.
It’s pathetic. It’s less than getting the GST back. And here’s where the lobbyists come in. Let’s do the Electric Vehicle Council, a credible-sounding name that really just represents a bunch of big businesses gagging to sell EVs and EV-related goods and services, like electricity and chargers, to you, in the public.
“Only 0.1 per cent of Victorian cars are currently electric. The subsidies announced could help drive that figure up sharply and put a huge dent in Victoria's carbon emissions.”
That's 20,000 EVs. According to the national Survey of Motor Vehicle Use, from Ausstats, for the 12 months to June 30, 2020, there are four million passenger vehicles in Vicwegia, roughly.
This 'reduction' of about 450 parts per million (of Vicwegia’s CO2 production) means for every one tonne of CO2 emitted, these subsidies represent (at best) the reduction of 450 grams. It's insignificant.
5/6/2021 • 17 minutes, 54 seconds
Prepare now for End of Financial Year (EOFY) new car sales 2021
If you're in the market for a new car right now, and if you're looking at end of financial year deals - you need to here this advice right now.
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5/5/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 14 seconds
2021 Hyundai i20 N hot hatch: full, unlimited-lap track thrash test
A full-day unlimited-lap thrash test, wet and dry, in the new pre-production prototype Hyundai i20 N. Is it as much fun as i30 N? Can you live with it, day to day? Let's find out…
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Can you live with i20 N, day to day? Absolutely. Is it fun when you get the chance to blow out the cobwebs, legally and safely? Totally.
First half of this track test was wet - like it totally bucketed down until lunchtime, but it got quite hot in the afternoon and the tyres and brakes both copped a real, sustained workout. As did the powertrain. And nothing but positive feedback to report there. Brake endurance: Very good.
And I didn’t have to button off to preserve it. So that’s nice.
i20 N is inspired by the Hyundai WRC rally car, which led Hyundai to a 2019 manufacturer championship and a total of 17 wins - so there’s an emerging rally pedigree there. And the N division’s mission was to make a streetworthy example of an i20 that pays homage to WRC success, and slots in below i30 N.
(Pro tip: This WRC homage is exactly what Subaru did with WRX, and that worked out generally OK...)
I found the seats very supportive - kinda important detail on the track - and the overall ergonomics are excellent. This is not a tiring car to drive hard and fast. N mode - accessible by pushbutton on the wheel - changes the character completely. Invokes the bi-modal exhaust; the rev-matching, etc.
1.6 turbo petrol four with GDI delivers 150kW and 275Nm - which is pretty standard for that engine, but it’s in a small car, so 0-100 is 6.7 seconds, officially, which isn’t that fast, but it’s fast enough for authentic F-U-N. V-max is 230km/h - good to know, I suppose, if you want to lose your licence 2.3 times. #’Straya.
A mechanical front LSD is available - no word yet on whether it will be standard or optional.
You can turn the ESC fully off. The options there: Fully on, fully off, and ‘sport’ - which offers somewhat less ESC intervention, but will step in if you go out to lunch in a big way while on the move. The production tyres are special Pirelli P Zero 215/40 R18s with ‘HN’ designation (for ‘Hyundai N’).
The chassis gets a full tweak, with lots of bespoke reinforcement, and there’s a full safety suite. You get onboard performance driving data logging - but no stupid name for that. They just call it a ‘Performance Driving Data System’ - proving they can get this kind of thing right, albeit occasionally. i20 N weighs just 1190 kilos - which really is more than half the battle if your objective is fun and endurance. Hyundai says it’ll go on sale before June 30, but with COVID and the chip shortage, whether that’s achievable is really anyone’s guess.
Stay tuned for more updates on one of the most accessible exciting cars to launch this year.
5/2/2021 • 22 minutes, 40 seconds
BMW M3 Competition review & buyer's guide: Ultimate sedan supercar
There are faster performance cars, and more expensive performance cars, and certainly more overtly ridiculous performance cars - but every time I drive an M3, I fall madly in love with it. This car is my kryptonite. It renders me powerless.
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What’s it actually like, living with a BMW M3 Competition? Frankly, it’s a paradox - it’s like owning an Extra 300L - the world’s top unlimited aerobatic aircraft, and only ever flying it straight and level. Takeoff, four right turns - not to exceed 20 degrees angle of bank - and land. Repeat. That’s driving to the office in your M3.
No loops, no snap rolls, no stall turns. Ever. Ultimately that’s probably a good thing. Because very few M3 owners would be capable of driving a car like this near the limit of its performance.
This car offers 216 W/kg, which is awesome in a straight line. 0-100 in 3.9 seconds #respect. And that’s not even what this car does best.
But 375kW and 650 Nm, from an awesome twin-turbo straight six… I mean, V8s are awesome, but give me a straight six any day - perfect balance and awesome rev characteristics beats that scavenging-inspired burble. Like, if you actually want to go fast. And BMW is the world champion of building the hottest straight sixes ever. So there’s that…
...But an M340i xDrive is $50,000 cheaper and more refined, and few people could drive an M3 quicker from A to B in the real world. Like I said, it’s a paradox. You can probably only make an M3 go as fast as you can make it go, and you probably can’t make it go appreciably faster than an M340i xDrive. And, tantalisingly, M xDrive is coming to this car in the last quarter of the year. So there’s that, if you want to split the tractive effort front to rear, in extremis.
Grip? Yeah. It’s a collaboration with Spiderman, basically. 20-inch wheels and 285/30s Michelin Pilot Sport 4s at the rear, and (just for kicks) 19s at the front with 275/35s. Rear brakes: bigger than most cars’ front brakes. To me, this car is like the supermodel you can’t have, and wouldn’t know what to do with, even if you could.
I’m pretty sure that ‘fun’ is entirely the wrong filtration for some sort of diligent assessment of a car of this nature.
That’s because these cars are terrifying, or at least intimidatory. If you step into the ring with this car and drop your guard, they will not hesitate to clock you. It’s an unforgiving environment in which to dance.
Therefore, I think the ownership proposition is either about bragging to the boys (most women don’t care - like, my wife and daughter both hate this car). Or it’s about bragging to yourself, about owning the ultimate engineering execution of a particular kind of car. This is certainly that.
It’s also as close to perfect as a practical supercar could ever be. Is it comfortable? Yeah. Kinda. But not in the context of a car designed to offer the ultimate in luxuriousness. It’s more comfortable than a car that performs like this has any right to be.
It’s very hard to exist at the edge, with a car like this.
4/22/2021 • 20 minutes, 2 seconds
These two simple hacks will make your engine last longer
Modern cars clog up on the inlet side - the inlets clog up, commonly. Not every car, but some. This is a symptom - not a disease. Simply cleaning the inlet doesn’t cure the underlying problem.
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The disease could be a defective EGR or PCV, or diluted oil, or a defect in the inlet air plumbing. So that’s three potential hardware problems: (EGR, PCV or plumbing). And one operational problem: Diluted oil.
If it’s hardware, that needs to be investigated, and the defective part(s) replaced. But diluted oil is something you can address yourself. It means more sludge gets into the PCV, and gets baked in the inlet by hot EGR. Diluted oil is a consequence of not driving long enough to get warm enough to purify the oil.
Diluted oil also doesn’t lubricate your engine very well. So it wears out earlier. It’s a consequence of too many cold starts and too many short trips, as a proportion of overall operation. And you can sometimes confirm it if you see the oil level increase on the dipstick in your car.
People say ‘fit a catch can’ - but this too is a Band-Aid - there’s still diluted oil ‘down there’ and it’s not protecting your engine very well. You’re just catching some contaminants before they make it into your engine’s inlet.
The obvious thing to do is get out on the highway regularly. (It’s not just diesels that benefit from sustained running - all cars do.)
The other thing you need to do is change your oil more frequently. If you’re a short-distance driver doing lots of cold starts, get an oil change every six months instead of the specified 12. It’ll pay for itself in reduced wear and repair costs. Operating a car in this way is hell on earth for engine oil. It doesn’t seem so, but it is.
So this is two things, right? (As opposed to one or the other.) More highway and twice as many oil changes as specified.
4/15/2021 • 10 minutes, 34 seconds
The mad science of galvanising, and how it protects your car
Modern cars are galvanized, which explains the huge reduction in automotive rust over the past 30 years. Modern cars still rust, but they rust a lot slower than older cars, which were not galvanized.
They don’t rust because of the cathodic protection. Rust is chemically impossible. (There might be the smallest amount of inconsequential surface corrosion, in places, like near scratches, but it won’t grow. It can’t.)
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Essentially we’ve got the Japanese to thank for this. See, back in the ‘70s and ‘80s in Australia, the car market was essentially American. It was all Ford and Holden, which means: we did business the way America did business, and America was quite happy to throw car owners under the ‘rusty’ bus after just a few short years, rolling around.
And then along came Japan - which has a lot of salty coastline relative to its land mass, and it started introducing galvanized cars in America. They didn’t rust as much, and consumer demand kind forced the hands of the US Big Three automakers to introduce galvanising. And the rest is history. Fast-forward to today: all new cars are galvanized in developed markets, globally. Even Australia.
So, stone chips and minor scratches are not the problem they once were. You can repair them for aesthetic reasons if you want to, but there’s no need to obsess about it from a rust protection point of view, because of the magic frog-jolting action of cathodic protection. Major damage - where lots of zinc comes off, in the manner of frogskin in the Galvani household on a Friday night, after a few Chiantis, that’s gunna rust.
So, should you neck a few scoobs one evening and decide to buff your wanking chariot with a 40-grit flap-disc, until the battery in your angle grinder sucks on a dry tank, that’s gunna be a problem. The best corrective measure there (aside from jumping in a time machine and telling your parents not to breed) is to prime it all up with a zinc-based primer, and re-paint, preferably with a pressure pack can (or cans).
4/14/2021 • 34 minutes, 43 seconds
VW loses Federal $125 million Dieselgate fine appeal
In today’s hilarious twist, Volkswagen has lost its appeal against a record $125 million Australian fine for lying to the public in respect of its hyper-polluting diesels. It emerged from court once again with its reputation in tatters.
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See, in August of 2016, the ACCC emerged from hibernation long enough to write a stern letter to Volkswagen, advising that it was preparing to sue the company in Federal Court, vis-a-vis dieselgate.
In between then and 2019, Volkswagen and the ACCC groped around under the table, and they jointly decided that $75 million would be an appropriate penalty, given the breadth of deception which Volkswagen had perpetrated upon the Australian public.
And then Justice Lindsay Foster said (again, paraphrasing) said: ‘we’re gunna fine you $125 million instead’. I like Justice Foster.
Wig Dude Six actually described Volkswagen’s and the ACCC’s $75 million bilateral accommodation as “manifestly inadequate” to compensate for its “false representations”. And this is where I justify calling them ‘liars’. A lie is simply misrepresenting the truth (or what the liar perceives the truth to be).
So if a Federal Justice declares Volkswagen to be an issuer of false representations on things that matter - of substance in the consumer domain - they pretty much are liars henceforth.
Wig Dude Six actually said Volkswagen’s conduct was (quote): “an egregious breach of Australian consumer law of the worst kind imaginable”.
It was a record fine, too - roughly five times the previous gold medal for anti-consumer conduct held by a shonky business called Empower Institute ($26.5 million there) and more than 12 times the previous automotive anti-consumer gold medal. ($10 million - held by Ford for the infamous PowerShift dual-clutch transmission.)
Hoaxwagen’s basis for appealing the $125 million was pretty much the standard toddler in the sandpit tantrum. Like: ‘We agreed on 75. Then a nasty man in a scary wig made us pay 125. That’s 50 more. It hardly seems fair.’ (Paraphrasing.)
The actual words they used in the appeal were “manifestly excessive”. This is a company that makes nine million vehicles a year, with revenue of 223 billion Euros last year. $125 million is not even chump change for them.
What gets me about them (and I’m talking about the corporation exclusively here, in this report, not the individuals within it - they’re just doing their jobs, however imperfectly) is that A) if Volkswagen was an individual, he or she would be a sociopath.
I’m not a psychologist but it seems to me manifestly narcissistic, and completely devoid of empathy to be obsessed about your own fair treatment when the thing that got you there was ‘an egregious breach of the worst kind imaginable’.
And now the consequences are all so unfair, according to them. That’s a comedy skit that simply writes itself.
4/14/2021 • 10 minutes, 54 seconds
How to get out of any new car deal with minimal financial pain
If you want to get out of a new car purchasing deal, here's how.
People want to get out of this situation for all kinds of reasons - because they got stitched up too early at the dealership and committed to the wrong car, because they get offered a better deal, lose their jobs, reconsider their options, etc.
In this situation the dealer often makes it very hard to back out. Here's how to work around all that.
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4/13/2021 • 10 minutes, 15 seconds
New car stock shortages: Discounting? What should you do?
Let’s say you’re in the market for a new car, and you’ve heard about all those stock shortages at new car dealership. What should you do? Can you still get a discount?
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The car industry is ruing the day it screwed all those computer chip manufacturers over, because when the pandemic hit, and demand for TVs, computers and gaming consoles went through the roof, carmakers got left out in the cold.
Production lines didn’t exactly grind to a halt, but global demand for cars has eclipsed supply, and the thing stopping carmakers from making more cars is chip manufacturers struggling to supply more profitable chip-sets to the likes of Apple and Samsung.
Now that we’re all caught up on the underlying causality, right now, waiting times on some models have receded over the horizon. So, we’re in a market where demand - in general - grossly exceeds supply. And when that happens (economics 101) it places upward pressure on prices.
In other words, there’s a flood of buyers. And limited supply of new cars to satisfy them. Therefore, dealers are generally not motivated to discount. Not like they were two years ago, when car sales were in the doldrums and they couldn’t shift the stock they had.
So, if you are in the market for a new car right now, my strong advice is: Wait if you can. Because discounting will return in earnest when supply frees up - and this may be as early as six months away. It might be longer. Anyone who tells you they know exactly when is - frankly - full of it.
Obviously, if your car just got written off, you probably cannot wait. You need a car. That sucks. But for most other people, waiting is the smart commercial move. For many cars you’ll be waiting anyway, even if you sign on the dotted line now. And you’ll likely pay the full freight, or near enough.
It doesn’t seem like a smart move for most people to sign, pay a deposit and wait until - allegedly - October, or something. Why not leave your options open, remain uncommitted, and see what’s happening in October? I’d play it that way.
Some people have said to me they can’t wait because their lease is running out. To which I would retort: Dude, ring the finance company. Refinance the balloon for 12 months. Take a break on the payments (because it’ll cost you less to do that) and then reassess when supply frees up.
Dealers are, of course, still dead keen to stitch you up. Now. Because a deposit and a signature is money in the bank at a later date, with less of a discount than they would normally have to concede to get you over the line.
Plus, stitching you up now takes you out of play. You are unlikely to shop around much more, and you probably won’t therefore transact with a different brand, or at a different dealer, because the deposit is hanging over the head of your deal. If you back out, they’ll be keeping that deposit, which is, essentially, money for jam.
It’s very dangerous to go into a dealership with the vague intention of ‘just looking around’ - because dealers are ambush predators, and you are standing on their X.
4/10/2021 • 13 minutes, 16 seconds
BMW 330e plug-in hybrid - the definitive review & buyer's guide
If a full battery EV is too scary (or impractical) for you, and internal combustion is too philosophically filthy, then maybe the BMW 330 e plug-in hybrid can bridge the gap.
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This car is interesting, because it will function as a battery-only EV that you plug in overnight, and it’ll run you around town, mostly on battery, for short distance commutes. And then, if you want to drive from Sydney to Brisbane, or something, no logistic planning is required. Just run it all the way on petrol.
It’s a plug-in hybrid, as opposed to a Toyota-style regen-only hybrid.
But what does that even mean, really?
I spent a week in the 330 e, and I mainly drove it around town - got out on the highway a couple of times. Plugged it in at home, a few times. So, dynamics, comfort, luxury - it’s very good.
Very driver focussed. Excellent rear-drive dynamics package, great steering and ride. Bit of a learning curve, if you’re new to the latest iteration of BMW user interface, but ultimately very configurable, and you can store your preferences in your key, which is great.
Ergonomics are stellar with this car - nice fat wheel, excellent shifter operation (again: learning curve). Impossibly comfortable and supportive seats. List goes on.
3 Series is kinda bigger than a small car, and smaller than a big car. Family friendly - but the boot’s a bit small for two young kids.
New instrument cluster - take it or leave it. It’s dripping in information and changes colour with the drive modes, and it even has a ‘minimalist’ mode you can invoke in the menus if you just want the basics. And you can project the nav between the speedo and the tacho.
BMW is very serious about its ‘ultimate driving machine’ mantra, and they did not drop the ball with this one. One point of difference is that the 330e is made in Germany, versus in Mexico for the rest of the 3 Series range. (Except the M3 - it’s German-made, too.)
4/8/2021 • 46 minutes, 9 seconds
2021 Subaru Outback stop delivery safety recall - full details
Full details: Subaru formal recall for the 2021 Outback & ‘stop delivery’ order information for pending owners.
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Subaru will recall 1982 new Outbacks currently in traffic because the autonomous emergency braking system might activate in the absence of an actual threat. Obviously, it’s not ideal for the car to behave in this way, and it could easily do more harm than good - when there’s no threat. This recall is not yet live on the official Federal Government recalls website at produstsafety.gov.au - you’re hearing about it here first. Subaru says: "In some cases, the stereo camera may mis-recognize roadside objects and/or miscalculate the travelling direction of an oncoming vehicle, unexpectedly activating pre-collision braking." So, I’d suggest that the EyeSight camera is actually fine, because it’s just a piece of hardware, and all it does is turn photons into ones and zeroes. It’s the interpretive software that’s the problem - misdiagnosing ‘benign reality’ as ‘malignant reality’ in some weird confluence of circumstances the programmers had not anticipated in R&D. Subaru says: "The likelihood of these symptoms occurring is low." So, let us all be untying our knickers, shall we? Despite what the mainstream media might subsequently report on this. It’s not the Four Horsemen, the sea as blood, Freddy Kruger knocking at the door, Scott Morrison as Prime Minister, or dogs and cats living together. It’s a low-probbility problem. "The recall Rectification Procedure consists of updating Pre-Collision Braking system software." Subaru says it will take about two hours to do that, per car, at the dealership, and it’ll get done free of charge, and they’ll contact every owner individually - or you can go to productsafety.gov.au for details once the ACCC emerges from hypersleep and pushes the recall live.
3/30/2021 • 13 minutes, 45 seconds
2021 Kia Carnival (Sedona) review - everything you'll love & hate
After two weeks test-driving the 2021 Kia Carnival (AKA Sedona) - the V6 petrol and the diesel - here’s everything I loved, and everything I hated about this vehicle.
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My fortnight in Kia Carnival was split equally between the V6 petrol Platinum and the 2.2 turbodiesel Platinum.
Kia supplied both vehicles - in the same way evaluation vehicles are typically supplied to other media outlets for reviews like these.
My default position on Carnival is: I always try to detest Carnival, overall, because it’s a people mover, and I always fail. I end up loving it. Especially the diesel (we’ll get to that). I look forward to driving a Carnival, and I hate giving it back. Despite my sincere efforts to the contrary. In the context of what this vehicle purports to be, it’s a very faithful execution indeed.
Carnival’s not perfect - no car is - so the purpose for bringing you the hate, as as well as the love, is A) hate balances out love, and B) it alerts you to the things you might not ultimately like about the vehicle, which might matter more to you than they do to me. This is, of course, important to know - before you spend the big bucks.
Carnival is objectively better than an SUV in so many important ways - like accommodation, access, luggage space, versatility and convenience. And, frankly I think a lot of people who buy a typical seven-seat SUV would actually be better off in a Carnival. There’s a lot more to love than to hate about this vehicle, and none of the ‘hate’ items would be a deal-breaker for me. It’s like any relationship - you embrace the things you love and learn to live with the things you hate. This goes for every relationship from that with your lovely wife to your job and even your smartphone.
So, don’t get me wrong here - I love the new Carnival, and I recommend it to you without reservation. I even tried hating it, and I failed. It’s just not perfect, and going into this, spending the big bucks while operating under the delusion that you’re finally procuring the perfect car is just paving the road to heartbreak. No car is perfect. No relationship - with a car or otherwise - is perfect.
3/30/2021 • 27 minutes, 40 seconds
Mercedes green lights new EQA EV for Australia (plus nuts!)
Mercedes-Benz green-lights the new all-electric EQA EV for Australia.
Hilariously, after all of Volkswagen’s recent poorly considered protestation concerning its inability to sell EVs here, thanks to our backward regulatory environment, Mercedes-Benz only just now says it’s rather looking forward to the new EQA coming here later this year.
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Apparently the Germans don’t really talk to each other, or share hymn books, all that often. Because Volkswagen is falling all over itself to denounce Australia as a third-world backwater (I’m paraphrasing) while Mercedes sees a real opportunity here for its new compact EV SUV, the EQA. Dealerships will receive their allotments of the all-electric EQA later this year. (You can order one from next month if you want.)
As you know: not a huge fan of Mercedes. Better than Volkswagen, though. (Not hard.) The point is: Free country. If the EQA moves you, if it flips the switch on, let the current take you. Resistance is futile in that state.
And who knows? EQA may not be a D-O-G. It offers a range of up to 480km, and comes with a Chargefox rapid charger subscription, for longer trips. I’ve used Chargefox - they’re awesome. EQU has a 66.5 kWh battery and according to official Suppository data, the electron consumption is 16.2 kWh per 100km - for the mathematics and physics cognoscenti.
The price is interesting: $76,800 inclusive of GST and LCT. There’s also a fairly OTT Edition 1 version with a lube dispenser and other self-righteous and otherwise unnecessary features, should you want to be the most annoying guest at the world’s most boring dinner party, for an additional $7300. What I find fascinating about this is actually two things: No word from them on how difficult it was to justify selling it here, to the factory in Germany. Which is completely at odds with Volkswagen’s recent counter-claim, oxygenated far too extensively in CarAdvice.
Equally fascinating: the price. Roughly the same as a Hyundai Kona Highlander Electric - a vehicle I drove for approximately one global pandemic and 10,000 kilometres. And roughly equivalent on size, range, and other key operational characteristics.
Of course, the EQA does display the coveted Mercedes badges front and rear - which is so damn compelling to many people. For mid-$70s - if that’s in fact how it plays out - which one would the average person choose to be seen in? Even for $10k more...
So I’d suggest the advent of EQA is also going to be something of a fox in the henhouse, for Hyundai, with vehicles such as the Kona Electric - and also a cause for concern over their new Ioniq sub-brand. And also for Kia with its EV6 seemingly under consideration for Australia.
Volkswagen’s not worried, however - it already has its excuses for failure to sell its EVs here perfectly well sorted. According to Volkswagen, their upcoming EV failure is all our fault.
3/25/2021 • 18 minutes, 26 seconds
Volkswagen versus Australia on emissions and EVs
Volkswagen says it probably can't sell EVs and other fuel efficient/zero emissions vehicles in Australia because our emissions regulations are wrong. That's not, like, totally ironic at all, is it?
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"First world markets – where there are significant penalties for failing to meet emissions targets – will naturally be the first in line for zero emission vehicles. It is difficult to explain to parent companies that Australia continues to languish in Euro 5 with no intention of meeting Euro 6 until 2027… As the Volkswagen Group has frequently made clear, Australia is becoming an automotive third world." - Volkswagen Australia
It pains me to have to point out to a carmaker subsidiary that we’re talking about two different things here:
Euro 5 and Euro 6 are exhaust emissions standards for internal combustion engines. They have no bearing on the commercial viability of EVs in any market, at least, not that I can see.
These standards cover oxides of nitrogen (the notorious toxic compounds senior executive Volkswagen shot-callers poisoned the world with using 11 million vehicles as de facto toxin delivery systems just to pump up their profits - and, hey, don’t shoot the messenger; this is a matter of historical fact).
Euro 5 and 6 also cover unburned hydrocarbons, carbon monoxide, and carcinogenic particles - things of this nature. But they don’t cover CO2 - because CO2 is not strictly pollution. CO2 is an inevitable chemical consequence of hydrocarbon combustion.
NOx and unburned hydrocarbons and particles and carbon monoxide can all be subverted by clever engineering. But CO2 is intrinsic to combustion.
So, even a moron - but apparently not Volkswagen Australia - can see that Euro 5 or Euro 6 have absolutely no bearing on making a case for Volkswagen EVs with the factory in Chermany.
The regulations that would make a difference on this are average CO2 emissions standards. They call them CAFE standards in the US - for ‘Corporate Average Fuel Economy’. Because, as just noted, fuel economy and CO2 emission are flipsides of the same combustion coin.
And because EVs don’t emit tailpipe CO2 - every EV a manufacturer sells reduces the average CO2 emission of its fleet of vehicles.
That’s what we’re really talking about here - a regulatory requirement to meet average CO2 fleet emissions levels. This becomes a lever that demands the sale of a few EVs to make the average CO2 numbers work, and thereby avoid paying fines.
3/24/2021 • 13 minutes, 39 seconds
The truth about 4X4 dual-cab utes, modifications & remote adventuring
That 4X4 ute you’re thinking of ‘building’ for that big adventure? Yeah, sorry to say but 80 per cent of your plans in that respect are probably really dumb ideas…
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Here’s the thing with these utes: Hiluxes, Rangers, BTs, Navaras, Tritons, D-MAXes, even Amarok: They’re light-duty vehicles. Like, keep saying this to yourself: “Light duty.”
If you’re thinking of your ute as a truck, wake up. I strongly suggest you go look at a real truck. They’re not the same thing. Not even close. Bolting all this stuff up, in, on, and around these vehicles, and adding the 4-5 people and all those provisions, and otherwise maxxing out the 1100kg payload - and then flogging you prized possession over (quote) ‘medium to advanced 4WD tracks’ for (quote) ’10-15’ years is at best quite a bad plan when your stated, overarching priority is (quote) ‘reliability’.
In fact, that sound you hear is reality pounding on the door, demanding to assist you with recalibrating your frankly batshit plan. If you let ‘reality’ in, it would explain calmly that your light-duty 4X4 dual-cab pickup is about to get caught in the crossfire, because severity of operation is the enemy of reliability. And you want both, apparently.
Reliability is compromised when operational severity is increased. These sorts of vehicles, frankly, are not designed to be beaten endlessly at the limits of conflicting capabilities. (Limit of off-road ability + limit of payload capacity = a great way to break something expensive and/or end up parked on the roof. This happens all the time.
People often think it’s a great idea to tow something really heavy as well. It’s not. So if you are going to do this adventuring, I’d recommend figuring out a way to do it at well under the maximum payload capacity, or carry the maximum payload if you must, but don’t also do heavy-duty 4WD work at the same time.
Or buy an actual truck, like an Iveco Turbo 4X4, which is kinda designed to do both things at the same time (and when you’re checking out the Iverco, have a look at how different the fundamental engineering of a vehicle such as that actually is…)
That Iveco is not a ‘light duty’ vehicle.
Alternatively, you could put 500kg in the ute, which is really just the family and some essentials, and maybe tow a trailer not more than 2000kg. (Like 400kg tare and with a payload of 1600kg - two axles, braked, roller-rocker suspension… It does not have to be the fanciest off-road trailer money can buy - just a decent trailer, for touring.)
Lots of people turn their utes into the showcase of 4X4s - which is a great recipe to overload them (or on-limit load them) and thus engineer out any latent reliability the vehicle(s) possess. If you max out the payload and then max out the severity of the usage, everything will break sooner, and it’ll be a pig to drive.
This is heresy, of course, to the ears of ARB or TJM. They want to sell you one of everything. But you don’t have to say ‘yes’.
3/24/2021 • 12 minutes, 31 seconds
NEWS ALERT: Subaru issues urgent 'Stop Delivery' order on new Outback
Subaru Australia has just placed a ‘stop delivery’ order on all new model Subaru Outbacks. The ‘stop delivery’ mandate was issued late yesterday.
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Dealers are still selling the new Subaru Outback - meaning signing people up - and this indicates to me the problem is not that major, on the balance of probabilities. Details are not forthcoming at this stage. Subaru’s head office confirmed that the ‘stop delivery’ order is in place and they told me they are awaiting official confirmation from Japan over what the underlying issue really is. I would speculate that there’s a serious but not catastrophic potential software glitch. It could also be a physical component that’s replaceable, but it’s more likely to be a bug in the code. I really don’t know more than that. Software is the best and most likely reason for this ‘stop delivery’ edict. Cars are complex, they run on code, and all potential failure modes cannot be predicted in R&D. So it’s likely the fix is going to be a re-flash of some black box or other via the vehicle’s OBDII (diagnostics) port. If you are an early adopter and you have a new Outback in your driveway now, there’s probably no need for you to panic - but in due course it’s likely this issue - whatever it is - will also impact you. And you’ll probably have to visit the dealer for remedial action (or they might come to you in some circumstances). This may also become an official recall - but bear in mind recalls in ‘Straya occur only for serious potential safety defects, and this issue might not be safety related. It might just be some other operational concern. Anyway, Subaru was typically open and honest with me about it when I bounced them. That’s kinda how they roll - and one of the core reasons I respect them. They’re awaiting advice from Japan on exactly what the issue is and how the fix is going to be implemented. You’ll have to stand by for that - I’ll keep you updated. They’ve promised to call me when they know what’s going on, and I’ll drop everything and update you at that point. Before I let you go, maybe you’ve heard me say: ‘give it a few months before you go out and buy any new model after its debut’? Like wait 2-3 months before jumping in to the market with a brand-new model? Yeah, well, this would be why. Teething problems and how to avoid them, simply by being patient. (You’ll also get a better discount.) No need to panic. It’s not a catastrophe - just an inconvenience if you own one or you were planning on picking your new Outback over the next few days or weeks. I’ll keep you posted.
3/23/2021 • 5 minutes, 36 seconds
Best tyre pressures for extended life, boosted safety & maximum grip
Running your tyres at the correct pressure is guaranteed to extend their life. That’s an $800 investment (or more) for most people. Plus it makes a huge difference to your safety in an emergency. The only problem is: What’s the Goldilocks pressure for your car?
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This is a simple question with a not-so simple answer.
I look at it like this: If you’re just an average driver with no real enthusiasm for driving, open the driver’s door, find the tyre placard (it’s on a sticker in the door frame) and run with the manufacturer’s recommended pressures.
If you’re a bit of a leadfoot, you can bump the pressure up by 10-20 per cent. So, if the manufacturer recommends 32psi all round, 36-38 is gunna be fine. You’ll get better dynamic performance, and about the same wear rate, but possibly slightly less compliant ride. It’s a better balance for more assertive driving.
For 90 per cent of people out there on the road today, this is sufficient to maximise your safety and minimise your contribution to the profits of Pirelli, Continental, Michelin, Dunlop, Goodyear, or Bridgestone, et. al. (And whatever you do, don’t buy cheap tyres from unknown brands. I’m convinced they’re just not as good at saving your neck when the chips are down.
But if you’re a proper driving enthusiast, you might want to approach this a little differently. You'll have to watch the video for that explanation (as I ad-libbed it).
3/23/2021 • 20 minutes, 12 seconds
2021 Kia Carnival (Sedona) review: Better than an SUV, for most people
This report is a full review and buyer's guide for the new 2021 Kia Carnival (which is called a Sedona in North America). To prove a point on versatility, I jammed a full-sized refrigerator in the back and moved it to the new Fat Cave.
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The Kia Carnival you will see swallowing the fridge was a V6 petrol Platinum. And it’s, like, fully loaded. It’s not cheap, at about $68,000, but I would, frankly, drop the extra $2000 on the diesel.
I think the diesel is better value. It’s just more relaxed and less thirsty, and you don’t need to boot it that hard to get better performance in normal driving situations. And if you’ve got $68,000, you can probably find $70,000 if there’s a good reason.
Anyway, I’ve got this quaint philosophy that these media evaluation cars are supposed to have a hard life. There’s no point testing one like it’s a new baby, right? But at the same time, it’s not OK to damage one arbitrarily just because it’s not yours, and you do this all the time.
So my acid test is: Would you do ‘whatever’ with the vehicle if it were your own? And, yeah - I would jam that big fridge into my own Carnival, no problem.
And I get it that this is A) not a delivery van, and B) a reasonably expensive thing, but if the Platinum is too rich, there’s always the SLI, which is hardly ‘poverty’ - and it’ll save you about $8000.
With Carnival you essentially get eight seats for the price of a seven-seat SUV (ish) and the access for passengers is phenomenally better, thanks in part to those two huge sliding doors.
And if you only need seven seats, the middle seat of row two un-clips and you can store it somewhere in your fat cave. And when you do that, it means you can walk through to row three - which is kind of a big deal if you’ve got two child restraints installed for the kids, and you’re on your way to collect their septuagenarian grandparents so all three generations of you can argue on the way to lunch somewhere scenic.
If you want to do this in a seven-seat SUV (the ‘walk through’ thing) grandma and grandpa either have to do the whole ‘Seal Team Six’ bit and hurdle row two, or you get to work up a sweat removing and re-fitting those kiddie seats, every time everyone gets in or out, in the pouring rain...
I suppose you can also walk through to row three in a seven-seat Hyundai Palisade - but it’s about $3000 more expensive, and you have to tick the box for seven seats if you want to do this in a Palisade. You can’t ever fit eight people on board if you do that. And if you tick the box for eight seats, you can’t ever just walk through, because Palisade lacks Carnival’s ‘now you see it; now you don’t’ trick with the centre seat from row two.
Kia’s done a great job building a better mousetrap with this latest generation Carnival. It’s a real step up from its predecessor, which was also excellent before being let go. This Carnival is the best ‘not quite an SUV’ that a heap more SUV buyers should buy, but won’t.
3/19/2021 • 21 minutes, 24 seconds
Elon Musk crowns himself 'techno-king' of Tesla. Seriously?
Elon Musk has just crowned himself "Technoking of Tesla". Seriously. He did. I could not make this up.
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lon Musk, the 'real world's' Tony Stark, has a brand new title, officially filed with the Securities & Exchange Commission, in the USA. I’m not making this up.
Mr Musk is now officially (quote) “Techno-king” of Tesla. And Tesla Chief Financial Officer Zach Kirkhorn is (according to the same SEC filing, quote) ‘Master of Coin’. We are officially living in fictional times.
In a separate filing to the SEC, former president of Tesla’s Automotive division Jerome Guillen has officially (quote) "transitioned". He now identifies as president of Tesla Heavy Truck - which must be the easiest job on earth, seeing as there are no Tesla heavy trucks, and there won’t be any, any time soon.
These developments seem to me to be a grand old time to put Tesla's grip on reality - the company's promises and their achievement (or otherwise) to the test.
3/16/2021 • 12 minutes, 4 seconds
Yet another Jeep spare parts & repair price disaster
Do you remember, a year ago, when the boss of Jeep Australia boldly told us all he was revising parts prices, in the spirit (I’m paraphrasing) of being less extortionate? I don’t think this worked out all that well.
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Time flies, doesn’t it? It’s virtually the first birthday of the announcement by Jeep 'Straya boss Kevin Flynn that the company was fixing its sky-high parts pricing.
“On parts, we have taken nearly 17,000 part numbers we sold during the course of last year across Chrysler Jeep and we have done a full analysis on the pricing. We have taken a number of key points as a reference and we have changed our price points wherever it was necessary.
“So we set a parameter and anything that was above that parameter (was cut). Ninety per cent of the dealers’ parts revenue was from those parts so that was the area that was causing concern and that was the area we needed to (fix). That is done, live in the market now. All the pricing infrastructure has been changed and all the dealers are up to speed.” - Kevin Flynn
And then Wrench-wielding Jeff handed me the Red Pill - once again.
See, WWJ gets this 2013 Grand Cherokee rushed into his surgery. It’s only got 116,000 kays on the clock. Grieving owner in the waiting room. WWJ masks up, and whips out the tools; does an emergency fuel tank-ectomy, right there on the floor of the trauma centre.
WWJ tracks down the bleeder. It’s on the proximal aspect of the fuel tank, where a cheap, plastic artery rubs on the body over time, becomes a ticking time bomb, before one day, without warning, going poopy in its trousers.
Here’s the thing, right? Jeep doesn't sell the hose as a replacement part. You have to buy the whole fuel tank. And it’s ‘only’ $4050.
So, this turns into a $5400-ish repair bill, overwhelmingly because those leopards just can’t change their spots. And this is after the alleged ‘parameter reset’ and getting the dealers (quote) ‘up to speed’.
I don’t know about you, but I find that emphatically disgraceful. A naked rip-off, not to mention a gross waste of resources. I’ve seen the official repair quote - it’s hilarious/shocking … depending on whether or not you’re the owner.
Anyway, Wrench-wielding Jedi is an old softie at heart, and he locates a transplant from a donor vehicle at a wrecker nearby. A used tank from a Grand Cherokee that had gone poopy elsewhere in its trousers.
There’s plenty of those around, unsurprisingly.
Used tank: $400. Still more expensive than a new plastic hose would be, had Jeep just designed the tank to be serviceable. But $400 is somewhat less of a heart-stopper than $4000.
To Big Kev, sitting on the Golden Throne in the Jeep Oz boardroom, encouraging the other executives over another job well done, I would humbly say: Dude, you seem to be venting credibility into space. Again.
How are those sales going, by the way? That turnaround? Still on track?
3/16/2021 • 11 minutes
4WD Snorkels and increasing engine airflow (your Q&A - contains nut)
In this report, I answer the following question:
“I was sitting around the campfire just next to Dingo Piss Creek talking to a guy about his LS powered GU Patrol. He explained that it was making around 200kw at the wheels on a dyno, but mentioned that he had to replace the regular 'Safari' style snorkel with a custom 4" stainless steel snorkel so that he could gain more air flow to make those numbers.
“How is that possible if snorkels don't increase air flow? PS my 4WD is fitted with a snorkel, and besides that fact that I've done Cape York, Arnhem Land and the Victorian High Country in it, it makes me feel really tough when I pull up to the Woolies carpark to pick up my supply of toilet paper, YEEEEESSSSSSS” - Sam
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3/15/2021 • 10 minutes, 23 seconds
MOTOR announces Performance Car of the Year 2021. Nobody cared.
If a MOTOR Performance Car of the Year 2021 falls in a forest, and nobody watches … did it actually happen?
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Five renowned geniuses nobody’s ever heard of, statistically - the creme de la creme of ‘Strayan motoring journalism - recently concluded an irrelevant half-million-dollar three-pronged suppository supercar car goes rooly, rooly fast. Who knew?
In related news: Sky remains blue. Trees: definitely still green. Water: Wettest substance ever (that’s verified), and the Pry Mincer: Still a complete waste of self-promoting space.
3/13/2021 • 13 minutes, 25 seconds
Why you should never tune your diesel engine
Here's a perfect example of why you should never employ engine tuners to fiddle with the ECU mapping on your shiny diesel off-road wanking chariot. Unless you enjoy providing endless entertainment to the likes of me...
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3/12/2021 • 7 minutes, 5 seconds
Why caravanning is the perfect Australian passtime
As if you need any more reasons to buy an enormous off-road wanking tractor upon which to hitch your biggest, heaviest aluminium deluxe suppository with adjacent kitchenette and cramped prison-esque shower. Then I was sent an email...
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3/12/2021 • 3 minutes, 46 seconds
Answering your electric vehicle questions (after 10,000km in a Kona EV)
The deep-dive into your questions about the Kona Electric and EV ownership generally in Australia. After 10,000km in the Hyundai Kona Electric, let’s have a civilised conversation…
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3/8/2021 • 26 minutes, 11 seconds
The truth about Mitsubishi Express and its zero-star safety rating
Doubtless you’ve seen the mainstream media headlines. Zero stars - sounds pretty dire, right? But this is really just another ANCAP botch. The Mitsubishi Express is fine - for a van. In the context of contemporary vans you can buy, it’s neither excellent nor terrible. I’d call it about average.
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3/4/2021 • 26 minutes, 45 seconds
Rhino 4X4 roof rack: Why I didn't buy one
If you’re thinking about buying a Rhino Rack for your 4X4, I suggest you don’t. I certainly didn’t, and I was going to. Here’s why...
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Ronny Dahl's video: https://youtu.be/r32xd9z4SZ4
Tyler Thompson's video: https://youtu.be/eMx232haRyo
3/3/2021 • 17 minutes, 48 seconds
Everything wrong with Wheels Car of the Year 2021 (Mazda CX-30)
Wheels magazine highlights the true cost of bad incentives in the automotive media landscape, with Car of the Year 2021. This is what happens when you kick your audience under the bus...
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Wheels magazine awarded Mazda CX-30 the 2021 COTY trophy.
CX-30 is - of course - more mainstream than last year’s official Car of the Year, the Three-Pronged EQC. But like EQC, Mazda’s CX-30 is really just pumped-up version of another virtual twin in the stable.
CX-30 is essentially a Mazda3 hatch with added ground clearance and, in some cases, on-demand AWD. So, well done there, moving the automotive sector profoundly forward. By jacking up a Mazda3.
“This is Mazda’s ninth Car of the Year win, making it the second most successful manufacturer at our award behind only Holden.”
If you were a carmaker, that’s how you’d want to be contextualised at this point - almost (but not quite) as successful as Holden.
Editor Dylan Campbell there. Well played, dude.
“To be our Car of the Year, the winner must nail five award criterion.”
Pro tip there, big D: ‘Criterion’ is the singular. (One criterion.) ‘Criteria’ is the plural. (Five criteria.)
“While to some the idea may sound quaint, the fact is Australian car enthusiasts demand agenda setting content that they can trust. We hold that trust dear and exist solely to deliver stories that inspire, reviews that inform and content that engages the current and future generations of Australian motorists.”
I’d suggest the only future motoring enthusiasts actually touching a Wheels magazine today are tidying up the lounge room after making sure their grandfather is just having an afternoon nap and is not yet dead.
Andrew Beecher there, from the same Car of the Year press release as ‘criterion’ dude. Beech isn’t a bad bloke, but he’s cursed with being the CEO of this ongoing near-death experience. So, to Beech I would say:
I love you, dude, but facts matter. You streamed this announcement live on YouTube, at 10am Monday.
And by ‘live’ I mean you pumped out a wholly contrived and epically self-indulgent pre-recorded video package that was un-watchably choppy - presumably the result of low upload bandwidth, which you should have tested, because you’re (you know) a multi-million-dollar business. Allegedly. And the audio was crap.
But apart from that: nice.
And, as for (quote) “content that engages”: Australia’s most allegedly coveted car of the year award had about 220 peak concurrent viewers, live, insofar as I could tell, watching it live. 220 - not 220,000. Nineteen of them had to be you lot, and maybe 200 industry insiders. Plus me, doing roasty research.
You could count the punters on one hand, dude.
The saddest thing is that, statistically, it seems to me nobody except Wheels and the finalists appeared to care less.
3/2/2021 • 15 minutes, 4 seconds
Hyundai begins world’s most expensive electric vehicle recall (US$900M)
If recalling EVs were an Olympic sport, the Hyundai Kona Electric just went for gold. In the worst possible way.
Hyundai is recalling 82,000 EVs globally to replace the LG Chem battery packs inside because there’s a potential fire risk. Oops a daisy. It’s kind of a bad look for the world’s fifth-largest carmaker - especially as the company pivots heavily towards EVs with brand Ioniq.
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2/27/2021 • 9 minutes, 43 seconds
4X4 Snorkels: Ultimate Buyer's Guide (you probably don't need one)
You’ve got a useless bullbar, but nothing says bush-bashing bogan quite like fitting a snorkel to your 4X4. Snorkels are, of course, a joke, 99.9 per cent of the time. Here’s why…
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2/24/2021 • 23 minutes, 11 seconds
JD Power Vehicle Dependability: Winners and Losers
JD Power - that perpetual thorn in the side of miscreant carmakers releases its 2021 Vehicle Dependability Study. In related news, Elon Musk prepares the presidential suite of the Hyatt in hell for JD Power...
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2/22/2021 • 13 minutes, 22 seconds
The most common off-road driving mistake (and how to avoid it)
The anatomy of the most common off-road disaster. Do not let this happen to you. The road to 4X4 hell: so often paved with good intentions. What could possibly go wrong?
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2/22/2021 • 13 minutes, 13 seconds
New Nissan Pathfinder: Why I wouldn't bother buying one
A tired, old ‘brand new’ Pathfinder is due in Australia this winter, promising to be less of a lemon than the current one, dating back to 2013. I strongly suggest buying something else…
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2/18/2021 • 13 minutes, 34 seconds
Hyundai Tucson recall, 2021: Fire risk and how the media blew it
On February 4, Hyundai Australia recalled 93,572 Tucsons because there’s a potentially defective circuit board in the anti-lock brake system - in the engine bay - which could cause an electrical fire, but not an explosion, because: Physics.
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2/16/2021 • 18 minutes, 2 seconds
Dual clutch transmissions, towing & heavy-duty uphill reversing
Steep driveways and reversing a trailer: Will you kill the new eight-speed dual clutch transmission in the new Santa Fe and Sorento diesel AWD models?
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2/15/2021 • 14 minutes, 30 seconds
Cobalt Blues: Mythbusting your comments about cobalt in EV batteries and fuel
Cobalt catalyst moron misrepresentation meltdown. EV zealots get the basics wrong in the comments. Warning: This report may contain traces of nuts.
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Recently I reported on what I’d learned after driving 9000 kilometres in the Kona Electric EV. One of those 12 was about cobalt - which is currently an essential ingredient in lithium-ion batteries used in EVs (and nearly all portable electronic devices - such as phones, cameras, tablets and laptops). And the EV fan-boys hated what I said, apparently.
Cobalt is also a significant human rights issue - involving fairly grubby child labour exploitation in places like the DRC.
You’re not supposed to like this, but it’s a thing, and it’s likely to get worse as demand for cobalt accelerates thanks to the proliferation of EVs. You’ve seen governments and carmakers championing the virtues of EVs. They’re generally pretty silent - deafeningly silent - on the how they will ensure the cobalt they will rely on to electrify transportation doesn’t involve human rights abuses.
Of course, this fact does not suit the world of the EV nutbag, and I got hundreds of authoritative-sounding fringe comments as a result. Like this one, from Roy King.
“Remember, cobalt is used in the petroleum refining process to produce low sulphur fuels. It is in the fuel you buy, and it comes out the exhaust and into the environment. Good luck recycling that cobalt into anything…” Roy King
Roy … dude: Cobalt is used in refineries as a catalyst for the desulphurisation of fuel. Catalysts help reactions occur but they don't take part. (They lower the activation energy, but apart from that they’re just chemical voyeurs.)
Therefore, cobalt is not actually 'in' any fuel you buy. Therefore, it does not spew from the exhaust. Nor does it enter the environment. So there’s that.
And the catalysts in refineries are in fact quite recyclable. Refiners have been recycling spent catalysts into fresh catalysts and specialist materials for many years now - as this report onscreen from the journal ‘Digital Refining’ (from 2013) clearly shows. But apart from that, Roy: Well done there, respecting the facts.
2/11/2021 • 19 minutes, 15 seconds
2021 Hyundai Santa Fe dual clutch transmission extreme endurance test
Extreme 2021 Santa Fe clutch-slipping, heat loading reverse torture test for Hyundai’s new eight-speed dual clutch transmission, in the driveway from hell.
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In this report I thrash Hyundai's new 8sp DCT in the diesel 2021 Santa Fe for 12 rounds up the driveway from hell (tight, twisty and 5m ascent for 20-ish metres of lineal concrete).
This is an example of a worst-case scenario for a transmission like this - times 12. Hyunda-Kia’s latest eight-speed DCT, by comparison, is a wet clutch system (meaning, the clutches operate in an oil bath) - and the oil is fed into an external convective cooler to manage overheating. This is a completely separate oil system - as in, the oil that cools the clutches is separate from the oil that lubricates the gears.
Clutch durability is really simple to understand - all you need to know is that heat kills clutches. We’re about to put that to the test. Quite a severe one. I want to see for myself (and show you) whether or not I can induce a near-death heat experience in the Santa Fe diesel dual clutch, by doing some severe real-world reversing. And if it does go poopy in its trousers I’ll be reporting that, and doubtless there will be a terse telephone call with Hyundai, the temperature of which will be somewhat less than the clutch pack.
If nothing else, you know how I always say: ‘Never buy a demonstrator.’? Yeah. Well, this would be one reason why. (Actually, it should be fine. I’m told the transmission has inbuilt thermal overload protection, but let’s find out anyway.) it strikes me that some of you really like the idea of buying a Santa Fe diesel (or its under-the-skin twin, the Kia Sorento diesel, which shares exactly the same powertrain) but some of you are somehow disinclined to buy a vehicle with a dual-clutch transmission - so scary - mainly thanks to Ford’s terrifying efforts, with its horrific ‘PowerShift’ dual-clutch transmission, and its appalling reliability.
Let's try and get a definitive result on heavy load endurance and duty cycle tolerance for this transmission.
2/9/2021 • 29 minutes, 26 seconds
I was wrong about recycled aluminium
I was absolutely wrong about recycling aluminium in my last report on zero emissions and the car industry. I did claim in that report that recycling aluminium (as opposed to manufacturing it from bauxite, the ore) doesn’t really save you that much CO2/energy. That was categorically wrong.
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“At present, the global average of CO2 emissions for both virgin and recycled aluminium is 11.5 tons of CO2 per ton of aluminium.” That’s from AluminiumInsider.com - and clearly it does not mean that virgin and recycled aluminium are roughly the same in terms of embodied energy or CO2 emissions. My fault entirely. The number quoted there is in US tons, obviously, and I converted that to metric, but several of you pointed out my fundamental error of false equivalence in the comments. Thank you very much for that. I’d rather be corrected than enduringly wrong. I investigated this following your comments, and - yeah - it is far more energy intensive to manufacture aluminium from bauxite than it is to recycle the stuff. Official claims about recycling aluminium are a bit vague - usually citing ‘up to’ 95 per cent of input energy, which can be saved by recycling. Weasel words like ‘up to’ always scare me in claims such as this. Like, OK, dude, ‘up to 95’, but what is it really, in practice, mostly? According to Terry Norgate at the CSIRO, in his 2013 report entitled ‘Metal recycling: The need for a lifecycle approach.’ there are: “Inconsistencies in the use of recycling metrics in reports and publications giving metal recycling data.” So 95 per cent saving is probably an over-blown best-case claim, for recycled aluminium, and the reality of energy saving is probably somewhat less. But because of the ‘reverse-thermite’ energy volume thingo, aluminium is definitely one of the best candidates for metal recycling. And I was pretty wrong about that. Mr Norgate adds: “If the principles of sustainability are to be incorporated into metal recycling systems and processes, it is essential that lifecycle assessment methodology be used to assess these systems and processes.” Lifecycle analysis always makes green initiatives look worse, because it forces you not to ignore any segment of a process - which might otherwise be ignored for green convenience - and of course every segment involves the burden of energy/CO2. This is exactly what carmakers do when they refer to BEVs and FCEVs as ‘zero emissions’ vehicles. They ignore the tremendous amounts of energy and CO2 embodied in the manufacture of those vehicles, as well as end-of-life costs and mid-life maintenance. I’d also suggest that it would be a mistake to conflate recycling aluminium with this being any kind of clean process. It’s actually pretty filthy.
2/5/2021 • 13 minutes, 16 seconds
Scott Morrison, the car industry and the ‘zero emissions’ lie
A prime ministerial populist thought bubble has declared the Australian automotive sector is ‘on track’ for zero emissions by 2050…
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2/3/2021 • 16 minutes, 34 seconds
12 things I've learned after driving an electric car 9000km
I’ve clocked 9000kms in the Hyundai Kona Electric, despite a pandemic and wearing pyjamas 24/7. Here’s what I’ve learned about using an EV as primary transport…
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2/3/2021 • 31 minutes, 20 seconds
How new car supply got smashed by a global computer chip supply shortage
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IN THIS REPORT: How a global semiconductor shortage is smashing new car availability.
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When your local car dealer tells you it’ll be April (or even May) before he can supply that new car of your dreams … he’s probably not lying. That’s gotta be a first, for car dealers. (Using honesty.) Things are pretty grim on the showroom floor when they’re forced to deploy the truth. For a car dealer, that’s like fixing bayonets. So, here’s the real reason why new cars are in such short supply right now. At least a dozen major carmakers have been forced to wind back production because they just can’t get the right computer chips, which control virtually everything in a modern car, from the headlamps and the stability control, to the powertrain, steering and of course the infotainment and security systems. Global lockdowns have been a real plus for the sales of laptops, TVs and gaming consoles - unsurprisingly. I mean, we’re all doing it from home these days, right? Demand for computer chips has therefore surged, and carmakers just don’t wield much demand-based clout in this industrial niche. Only about 10 per cent of semiconductor manufacturing capacity globally is devoted to automotive components - so this really is a battle between the David of carmakers versus the Goliath of consumer electronics giants, with carmakers not exactly in a position to exercise all that much leverage.
1/28/2021 • 15 minutes, 53 seconds
Kia Stonic 2021 full review & buyer's guide
Let’s get a few things straight, OK? A Kia Stonic is a Kia Rio - only with added roof rails, infinitesimally more luggage space, and 43 millimetres of additional ground clearance. And different hair and makeup. This will cost you $5500 extra, roughly.
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We’ve seen this kind of cloning before, with crossovers and cars: Stonic is Rio just like Subaru XV is Impreza hatch. Of course, some manufacturers do this without changing the name - like Toyota with Yaris and Yaris Cross. Either way, beancounters inside carmakers jump at this kind of thing, because the fundamental R&D is already in the can - amortised and paid for - you just jack the car up a bit, you give it marginally different styling, bit of botox if you’re lucky, slap on a new badge - and there’s a brand new SUV, at a fraction of the cost of developing a bespoke one. Like, don’t get me wrong here: Stonic is an awesome styling exercise. It looks great - the proportions are spot on, and the front end in particular came together really well. Especially on GT-Line, which you’re predominately looking at in this review. With cars being the fashion statement they often are in the minds of many, there’s all too frequently a line in the sand with the letters ‘SUV’ on one side. The ‘must have’ side. It’s kinda non-negotiable. So there will be people out there for whom only an SUV will do. This ultimatum will be delivered to you in some way - probably not in the manner of the butler handing you a gilt-edged envelope. For these people (who I would argue can’t see the forest here, for the trees) Stonic will be a contender in the way Rio won’t. Stonic is priced - and equipped - competitively against its peers, such as Mazda’s CX-3 and Big Sister’s Venue. You’ll pay roughly $10,000 more for a fully-loaded CX-3. However, the Mazda’s not a rip-off. CX-3 delivers roughly 50 per cent more power from its 2.0-litre four, and it has AWD and adaptive cruise, for example - both of which the Stonic lacks. If you go dollar-for-dollar with CX-3, you’re looking at a front-drive CX-3 Maxx Sport - and then you’re back to manual seats, non-adaptive cruise control and smaller 16-inch alloys. Stonic GT-Line starts looking pretty sharp against a Maxx Sport CX-3. Hyundai Venue is close to a direct Stonic competitor on price and spec. Like Stonic, Venue is front-drive only, but even here, Venue will give you about 25 per cent better power to weight. So, there’s your boxed set of three diminutive SUVs, if you want to duck out and test drive today, comparatively. CX-3 for polish and performance; Stonic as the price-leader; Venue in the middle. Just make sure you drive variants at the same price-point, otherwise this will skew your perception.
1/26/2021 • 42 minutes, 49 seconds
Tesla under fire from Feds after failing to recall almost 160,000 cars with defective screens
The US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has taken the view that those absurdly gigantic and distracting central touchscreens on almost 160,000 Teslas are defective - mainly because they randomly just go blank after about five years of ordinary driving.
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Yet another example of Genius Elon’s amazingly cutting-edge technology. The defect this time causes the reversing camera not to work and the windscreen defrosters likewise to fail. Chimes and other alerts that form part of Tesla’s ‘not really an autopilot’ system also fail to work when this happens. It’s all somewhat inconvenient if that happens when you’re asleep on the Interstate at 75mph because you put your faith in Electric Elon, and (for whatever reason) you actually thought the term ‘AutoPilot’ was loosely related to what those two words actually mean. The Feds have taken the inconvenient (for Tesla) view that this is a safety issue - because they say - using what we in the real world might call ‘facts’ and ‘reasoning’ - that the failure of the screen increases the risk of death and/or carnage - and therefore it is deserving of a recall. The Feds say the defect occurs because the processors driving the fat screens are designed for early obsolescence. Apparently they have a finite number of program-and-erase cycles, after which they simply decline to function any more - a process which takes about five years of ordinary driving. The Feds say this is insufficient for safety-critical features.
1/17/2021 • 10 minutes, 9 seconds
Fiat Chrysler merges with PSA Group: Stellantis is born
Fiat Chrysler has merged with PSA Group and the new entity will be called Stellantis. Stellantis will become the fourth largest carmaker on Earth, behind Toyota, Volkswagen and Hyundai - but it will be a challenge for Stellantis to survive because it has no sales in China (world's largest car market) as well as massive over-production capacity and commitments with the French Government not to close factories or reduce head count.
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1/17/2021 • 11 minutes, 24 seconds
BMW M430i (4 Series Coupe) review & buyer's guide
If you’re in that terrible position - you’ve got a hundred grand in used, unmarked, non-sequential bills, and you need to dispose of it hurriedly … perhaps the BMW 430i could help you out with that.
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The grille could be a confidence trick, right? Like, the Emperor’s New Grille. Perhaps it’s a mass psychology experiment, designed to test the limits of human attraction. Anyway - that 430i is an awesome car to drive - in part because it exists in that rare sweet spot between being too hard-edged and performance-oriented to live with daily, and too soft and luxurious to have a real crack in, occasionally. You can really throw it around. It’s extremely balanced and responsive, but it doesn’t feel like 12 rounds with Madam Lash when you’re just getting from A to B in traffic with everyone else. So, that’s nice. Just to detain you with the range, and decompiling its DNA: The base model 420i is about $70k, plus on-roads. It’s $19,000-ish more for the 430i that I spent a week test-driving. And it’s another $28k to step up from the 430 to the range topping M 440i xDrive. Don’t get me wrong here: The 420i is not ‘poverty’ - all 4 Series vehicles get an M Sport body kit and 19-inch alloys. There’s a wireless charging pad for your phone, and faux leather plus alcantara in the 420. 12.3-inch flatscreen instrument cluster. 10.5-inch multimedia screen - nicely integrated - plus voice commands and wireless Apple and Android phone apps. Wireless. Yesssssss! However, the powertrain in the 420i … while it’s essentially the same as the 430i, inasmuch as it’s a 2.0-litre turbo four, with an eight-speed auto and rear drive … the engine in the 420 is significantly de-tuned. It’s pumping out just 135kW and 300Nm, which is good for about 7.5 seconds to 100 - not totally disgraceful, but just for perspective, the dude next to you at a red light, in his Kia Cerato GT, costing half as much … he’s gunna carve you up. This frown of 420i straight-line mediocrity is of course turned completely upside-down in the 430i, which ups the performance ante to 190kW and 400Nm. Meaning, you’ll definitely consign Cerato-boy to the rear-view mirror if push comes to shove. With the 430i you also get a clever adaptive damper system, keyless entry, a surround view camera system, and adaptive cruise control. And of course if you have cash to burn, the M 440i xDrive is quite nice indeed. You get sunroof, premium audio … stuff like that. You also get (standard) those miraculous Laser headlamps. With the 440i, you also get xDrive, which is BMW-speak for all-wheel drive. It’s hugely rear-drive biased, in line with BMW’s core sporty driving ethos, but I guess the big trick there is its latent ability to engage the front drive to drag you the hell out of a bend if you drive one day as if late for an important job interview after knocking over a bank… Of course, a certifiably insane M4 is also in the wings, and it’s hard not to cherish the underlying excess at the core of every M car. Incidentally, the M 440i xDrive gets a straight six with 285 kW and 500 Nm - and if there’s one thing BMW has done brilliantly since approximately the age of the dinosaurs, it’s straight sixes.
1/12/2021 • 28 minutes, 26 seconds
2021 Hyundai Palisade: full review for real buyers in Australia
Hyundai Palisade - you can see it from space. But, two weeks in - I’m still struggling to figure it out. I’m deeply conflicted here, in the domain of love and hate.
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Top 10 things I love
LOVE:
If you’ve got up to eight people to convey from A to B, and you also need luggage space, Palisade is a beast.
Palisade has a proper, full-sized spare wheel and tyre.
Palisade comes fully loaded.
The cabin space is tremendously configurable.
The 2.2 Diesel powertrain is the one to get. Eight-speed auto plus on-demand AWD is extremely well-suited to this vehicle.
Palisade is a superbly comfortable vehicle to drive long distances
The fundamental choice you have to make on the Palisade is: Seven seats, or eight?
Palisade is actually about $54,000 cheaper than a fully-loaded Toyota Landcruiser.
They’ve put a lot of thought into the interior.
Palisade really has democratized luxury.
Top 10 criticisms
DISLIKE:
It’s bigger than Santa Fe but doesn’t tow as much.
Hyundai and Kia need to drop the V6 and start running with the 2.5 turbo petrol engine
It doesn’t look like a next-gen Hyundai product externally.
Palisade costs about $10,000 more than a Kia Carnival - which is approximately as versatile and as capable.
White leather - such long-term disaster. Like, everything from the dye in new jeans to the residual on your palms (when it smears onto the white leather door pulls) is going to be a long-term aesthetic disaster.
For all the convenience built into the Palisade, there’s no front passenger grab handle.
When you select ‘park’ the automatic handbrake applies - but only sometimes. And by ‘sometimes’ I mean: if you’re on a slope.
If you are parked and the park brake is deployed, you can’t drive off unless you clip your seatbelt.
Palisade - and it’s not the only Hyundai Motor Group vehicle to do this - comes pre-loaded with fake ambient background audio.
I know I previously talked up the price, but if you want eight seats for eight arses and space for luggage, configurability, versatility - etc., a Kia Carnival is $10k cheaper, ballpark, and also quite a good thing.
CONCLUSION
I don’t know that I’ve solved my deep inner conflict here, but I do hope I’ve at least crystallised the cases for and against buying a Palisade - the better to help you make the right choice with a serious wad of cash.
1/5/2021 • 39 minutes, 47 seconds
Tesla fan boys destroyed: Part 4 - why internal combustion will dominate
Internal combustion, dudes: It’s going to underpin transportation for decades to come. If you think internal combustion is dead, it’s time to get on the plane, leave Fantasy Island, and return to the real world.
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Many fan-boys use that term ‘Legacy carmakers’. (To describe the manufacturers of internal combustion vehicles.) Legacy: Like EVs have won the battle. And the dinosaurs are dead - they just don’t know it yet. ‘Legacy’ means (as an adjective): superseded but difficult to replace because of its wide use. I’m not seeing that, in respect of internal combustion. There is a giant industry operating worldwide - the oil industry. It produces roughly 100 million barrels of oil per day. That’s 16 billion litres per day. 16 million cubic metres. That’s a box of crude oil 40 metres by 40 metres at the base, and stretching 10 kilometres into the air, which is 10 or 12 per cent taller than Mt Everest. And about half of that oil becomes gasoline. Eight billion cubic metres of gasoline - per day. And it’s cheap. Now, I know climate change is real, but when you look at the sheer size of the oil industry, and the incredible economic edge - combustion versus electric - tht top is not going off, nor being throttled back any time soon. It’s just not. In fact, the Coronavirus has done more to reduce oil consumption than Tesla could conceivably hope to. (Between 2019 and 2020, crude oil production dropped roughly nine million barrels per day.) These oil data are according to the US Energy Information Administration. And that alone should convince you of the security of internal combustion as the fundamental means of transportation for decades to come. Here’s another reason, if one’s not enough. Also in the pesky domain of ontology: Global vehicle production in 2019 was 92.8 million vehicles. That’s global vehicle production, according to the European Automobile Manufacturers Association. That’s a lot of cars. If you parked them all in a conga line, it would encircle the planet. Twelve lanes wide... Global EV production 2019: 2.1 million EVs. That’s according to the International Energy Agency. Of those EVs, roughly one in six was a Tesla. (365,300 Teslas were produced in 2019.) Therefore, total EVs were about 2.3 per cent of global automobile production. That’s not the proportion of EVs actually on the road, in service, which is far less. It’s the latest full-year new vehicle production data. 2.3 per cent of new cars are EVs. Tesla makes roughly four cars for every thousand cars currently produced globally. This is a very curious position from which even a devoted advocate for the brand could hope to declare dominance. If, over the next 10 years, EVs grow 10-fold, they’ll represent a quarter of global vehicle production. We might actually see that. And in cities, this would be a really good thing. What we will certainly see is: increasing choice in the energy mix of cars available new. More hybrids and plug-in hybrids, more full battery EVs, and a smattering of hydrogen fuel cell vehicles also. Underpinned by a foundation of internal combustion vehicles.
1/1/2021 • 15 minutes, 32 seconds
Tesla fan boys destroyed: Part 3 - about this allegedly superior tech
Tesla fan-boys routinely claim these cars are superior, technically. Vastly so. Unfortunately, the facts don’t concur.
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A Model S P100D - the Tesla flagship - weighs 2241 kilos, has an EPA range of 507 kilometres and uses a 100kWh battery. These are called facts. We can all agree on them.
A Hyundai Kona Electric weighs 1685 kilos, has a 64kWh battery and offers an EPA range of 415 kilometres. Also, facts.
So, when you do physics - like, just above basic high school physics - you might ask yourself: ‘What does a technological advantage actually look like?’
Because there really should be some numbers that shine like a beacon, illuminating just how smart and advantageous a Tesla is, because of its alleged incredible technical edge, right? Otherwise it’s all just empty rhetoric.
If something exists ontologically, you can measure it, right? So this alleged superior tech should manifest in a measurable way, by virtue of its objective performance.
Devices with superior tech typically do more with less. A more efficient refrigerator consumes less electricity and yet still keeps the champagne equally cold.
We can measure this kind of thing with epistemological objectivity. (I’m imagining every Tesla fan boy in the universe scratching his head, at this point. Like, what’s that? It’s how science rolls, dudes - with epistemological objectivity. Look it up. Watch the John Searle tech talk at Google HQ, on artificial intelligence.)
I’d suggest that a deep, fundamental Tesla technological advantage would be demonstrated if the Tesla flagship, for example, used substantially fewer watt-hours of electrical energy to transport a tonne of mass over a given range measured against a laboratory controlled test standard.
If it did, we could prove its superiority, objectively. All we’d need are those three previously quoted data points, about which there is no dispute that I know of. We’d just need to calculate watt-hours stored in the battery, per tonne of vehicle, per kilometre of range.
And if you ‘interesting’ fan-boys are right, Tesla should shine like a beacon of technical superiority. And the claim of superiority to which fan-boys adhere would thus be impervious to dispute.
Get a calculator and crunch the numbers for yourself: Model S P100D: uses 88 watt-hours to take one tonne, one kilometre. Hyundai Kona Electric: 86 watt-hours per tonne, per kilometre.
Conclusion: Pretty similar technology. But the Hyundai Kona is slightly ahead on energy efficiency fundamentals. The numbers do not lie. They’re called ‘facts’ and you Electric Jesus fan boys are not required to like this result. However you feel about the numbers, they remain facts. And they say Tesla lacks a measurable technical edge.
So, three parts down - one to go. Internal combustion: not dead, and not dying any time soon. Hate away in the comments, but save your best work for tomorrow, because you Tesla nut-jobs are really going to hate Part Four.
12/30/2020 • 7 minutes, 34 seconds
Tesla fan boys destroyed: Part 2 - Tesla cars are abjectly unprofitable
Ahh yes, Tesla makes a profit. Technically. Five quarters in a row, now. I said they sold their cars at a loss, which they do. Back in July Tesla hit the milestone of four quarters of consecutive profit, which allowed it to join the S&P 500. But Tesla cannot post a profit from the sales of its cars. If Tesla just made money selling cars, Tesla would be routinely losing money.
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Tesla is only profitable because it sells hundreds of millions of dollars of artificial regulatory clean air credits to other carmakers. Tesla cars get sold at a loss. Tesla turns that around by selling totally artificial bullshit green financial derivatives. June quarter of 2020 (that’s the fourth consecutive profit one, which allowed it to join the S&P): Tesla made US$428-million selling bullshit regulatory credits. That’s about four times the $104 million in net profit they declared that quarter. In other words, without selling these fake clean air credits to other carmakers, they would have been roughly $300 million in the red. And that’s a typical recent result for them. These bullshit regulatory credits are the most high performance financial product Tesla sells. And it works like this: In California, and at least 13 other US states (so, roughly a quarter of the union) carmakers which want to sell cars into those states must sell a certain number of notionally ‘green’ vehicles - EVs, hybrids, like that. Or they face big fines. If they sell more notionally zero emission vehicles than their quota, they get these fake credits. And the only way to sidestep the fines for failing to sell sufficient green vehicles is to buy bullshit zero-emission vehicle credits from a carmaker which is exceeding its quotas for ZEVs. Since Tesla sells only EVs, it’s got fake credits to burn, so it sells them to carmakers that need them, for less than the fines they would otherwise pay. Kerr-friggin’ ching. There’s the Tesla profit centre. It’s completely artificial. Selling these credits to other carmakers is the only reason Tesla is profitable, five quarters in a row. And demand for those credits will increase in 2021, until major competition steps in. Without the revenue from the sale of bullshit enviro-credits, Tesla remains wholly unprofitable. Ergo, Tesla cars get sold at a loss. This is very basic.
12/29/2020 • 10 minutes, 10 seconds
Tesla fan-boys destroyed: Part 1 - Low Battery Day
Part one of my response to your most entertaining feedback. Thank you sincerely for hating my recent ‘Tesla is doomed’ video. Currently hated by 21.2 per cent of you, as I present this package. My near-term hate target is 25 per cent hates...
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Battery Day - September 22, 2020 - yet another ‘nothing announcement’ from Electric Jesus. Only EJ could hold a battery day and deploy no actual, existing battery, and get away with it. He announced the mythical 4680 battery - which, let’s not forget, does not actually exist. Perhaps in the future, but not now. There’s a video about the tabless 4680 battery, promises about chemistry, packaging and thermal performance improvements, and some vague tweet from the messiah (after battery day) that he’s got a few prototypes up and running. (But, let’s face it, his track record with the truth is poor.) But as for actual production of the 4680 battery … it doesn’t exist. It’s just another promise at this point. Sounds great - but I’ll wait until I see one mass produced. In the domain of actual evidence, Musk did not show a physical example of the 4680 battery on the overly prick-teased Battery Day in September. If one actually existed, don’t you think he would have rolled one out and given the world a look? Like, you would expect to see a new battery on Battery Day, would you not? One thing I really admire about Electric Jesus is he’s never afraid to announce the latest hunt for the Electric Unicorn. One day he might well return with its head on a stick, and doubters like me will have to eat our words. And I’ll be happy to. But this will not happen any time soon. On battery Day, Mr Musk also promised to mine lithium from clay deposits after securing a 10,000-acre lithium clay mining lease in nearby Nevada. But, unfortunately: “There has never been any commercial production of lithium from clay sources.” - Chris Berry Don’t take my word for this. I don’t know very much about mining. But Chris Berry, president of Mountain House Partners and an analyst who specialises in energy metals exploitation, quoted there from The verge in a feature on Battery Day, and how ultimately disappointing it actually was - he knows a thing or two about lithium mining. Mr Berry went on to point out that most of the world’s lithium is actually exploited from lithium brine deposits in the so-called ‘lithium triangle’ of Argentina, Bolivia and Chile. And from hard rock deposits here in Shitsville. Why go to all that trouble, mining lithium so far afield, when you can just suck it out of clay, virtually next door to Gigafactory One? Mr Berry explained: “Well geez, if it was this easy to find a domestic source of clay-based lithium, and just use everyday materials like water and salt to produce commercial battery-grade quantities [of lithium] at scale, why haven’t we been doing this all along?’” Pro tip: a typical lithium mine takes about 10 years to get full regulatory approval in ‘Murica. So, don’t hold your breath for Electric Jesus to go 100 per cent ‘loaves and fishes’ with vertical integration on lithium battery production. Or if you do, make it a deep one.
12/28/2020 • 13 minutes, 50 seconds
Reacting to your towing disaster feedback & commentary
This episode: airing (and responding to) your representative feedback on trailer sway and heavy towing and general heavy hauling highway mayhem.
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I got a heap of interesting comments from you on that dude who threw his boat into the weeds.
Obviously these comments orbit my recent report on this disaster and how to prevent it, which (if you’ve not seen it) you can detain yourself with here:
https://anchor.fm/autoexpert/episodes/Inside-a-holiday-towing-disaster-----and-how-you-can-prevent-one-enp12v
https://youtu.be/P7-rcSE7s6k
Most interesting comment - just this morning - from Douglas Miller:
"I was one of two tow truck drivers who recovered that boat. The boat had moved back on the trailer. (The winch support had come loose, and slid back.) The owner had said every time he got to 100km/h the car would start to wobble. The vehicle combo was also not weight balanced correctly." - Douglas Miller
Thank you very much, Douglas Miller. Audiences are a fantastic brains trust. Just awesome. See, that’s a really interesting piece of previously unknown information. Boat moves back. Trailer gets less and less stable in yaw. Makes complete sense. Driver even notices this increased propensity to sway … and yet (and this really does my head in):
There’s no evidence that he stopped and investigated the problem. Maybe he did, and he found nothing. But (I’m really trying to be charitable here) if he noticed sway starting at 100 … why not just remain below 100? You know, get back home safely and take steps to get a mechanic or a trailer joint to sort this out.
Noticing sway - which is rock-solid evidence of instability - and then driving like that is … words fail me. It’s not logical. It’s certainly not responsible behaviour.
If the trailer’s not properly load balanced, any external influence, like the Bernoulli/venturi effect on overtaking, the transverse crown - whatever - well, you’ve seen the result.
Pressing on, in the face of this evidence of a major problem, if what Mr Miller says is correct, is incomprehensible to me.
12/22/2020 • 27 minutes, 55 seconds
Why Tesla is doomed in 2021 | Auto Expert John Cadogan
I know Tesla stock is sky high. Higher even than Electric Jesus himself thinks is reasonable. But the world’s leading EV kit car company is doomed, ultimately. Here are the top reasons why.
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Tesla has had essentially zero competition for six or seven years now.
Next year, however, (2021) just here in Shitsville: Three-pronged Suppository EQ-whatever (five of six of them). Porsche Taycan. Mazda MX-30. XC40 Recharge and Polestar 2. BMW iX and iX3. Lexus UX300e. Volkswagen ID.4. Hyundai Ioniq 5, Kia e-Niro and e-Soul.
These are all proper EVs from proper carmakers - meaning companies, unlike Tesla, which understand how to make cars. Tesla almost knows how to make cars, and they do EV tech pretty well, but the cars and the support are third-rate, at best.
Viable competition is going to be a new thing for Tesla.
You’ve gotta remember Tesla lacks anything unique - in terms of tech. They use the same battery tech and electric tech as everyone else. The only thing Tesla has, in the domain of uniqueness is...
...when you buy a Tesla you’re also buying a little piece of Electric Jesus. The real world’s Tony Stark. I think this is a fundamental motivator for many Tesla owners. But, clearly, not everyone wants that. Some people just want an electric car - they don’t want to sip the Kool-Aid and join the cult.
So, there will be actual choice, of EVs, with 400-450km range, in 2021. Proper competition. Tesla has never had to operate in a market with actual competition before, and this will place them under additional pressure, for a change.
2021 will see Tesla come up against actual competition from hardcore carmakers, which it is ill-equipped to endure. Tesla seems to have nothing new to deploy in the face of this real commercial assault.
Once the bubble bursts - and it might take until 2022 - and all the hot air leaks out, you’ve got a couple of cool concepts and some poorly made, ageing EVs with a tenuous philosophical link to Electric Jesus … and frankly not all that much else.
So, if you’re Daimler, or Volkswagen, or GM or Ford - would you wait for Tesla to make like the Hindenburg, and swoop in for pennies on the dollar? Or is it just not even worth picking through the ashes? That’ll be interesting to watch. Like, who would buy Tesla after the inevitable purge? Who would want it?
Tesla has only one medium-term trajectory: Failure. Which the market has not yet factored in. Many of you will let me have it in the comments, I know. And you will cite the share price - the market capitalization - as your key repudiation of my position on this.
I’d respectfully retort: Is that the best you’ve got? Markets are famous for ignoring this kind of thing - look at October 19, 1987 and October 6, 2008. Rationality has very little to do with these kinds of inevitable corrections.
It’s certainly been emotional watching EJ and the faithful dance in this (disconnected from reality) way, but at least the entertainment is not yet over. It might even ramp up in 2021.
12/22/2020 • 17 minutes, 49 seconds
Olight Freyr launched: all-new automotive torch unboxing & review
The latest automotive news from Hyundai, Kia, Ford and the general industry this past week or so.
I also have the new Olight Freyr flashlight (torch, whatever) to show you right before Christmas - with some brilliant automotive-related use.
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12/17/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 47 seconds
The truth about Outlander PHEV battery life & support (Plus your Q&A)
In this livestream we discuss the degradation of a Mitsubishi plug-in hybrid battery and the brand’s indifference to his consumer rights. Plus live Q&A with you…
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12/16/2020 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 54 seconds
New Palisade vs Santa Fe vs Sorento: Which is superior on towing capacity?
New Hyundai Santa Fe & Palisade have just overtaken new Sorento in the soft SUV heavy tow sweepstakes. Kia must be so thrilled they went with the old towbar, just a few months back...
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2021 Hyundai Santa Fe and new Palisade are doing the whole joined-at-the-hip media launch ballet today, and I’ve just been handed the specs, happily enough. A few months back we learned new Sorento tows a maximum of 2000kg with a towball download limit of 200. At the time of the launch, Kia’s top product planning dude, Roland River,o told me this limit, which had originally been touted at 2.5 tonnes, was reigned in as a result of the towbar design. The platform and powertrains can handle towing 2500 kilos. Confirmation of that came today, with the platform-shared new Santa Fe running with 2500 kilos on peak tow capacity, and 200 on the download. That’s 25 per cent more tow capacity than current Sorento. Palisade, which is about 200mm longer, and has a 135mm longer wheelbase, as well as 70mm more track, and weighs about 100 kilos more, spec for spec - and which you’d think, therefore, made it a superior tow platform, offers a maximum of 2200 kilos, with 200 on the towball. The reason, I’m told: It’s a different platform. Palisade is also available as an eight-seater - which is interesting if you have a large tribe to transport. (You have to specify a seven- or eight-seat model when you buy - it can’t be converted from eight to seven and back, on the fly, like a Kia Carnival. Seven-seat Palisades are twin buckets in row 2, and a three-wide bench in row three, and eight seaters get a three-seat bench in rows two and three. Basically I just wanted to let you know all this, mainly about the towing, as soon as it was announced, because towing is such a serious consideration for so many of you, when it comes to selecting vehicles such as this. I rate all three of these large SUVs - they’re good real-world tow platforms and decent daily drivers. (Without entering planet insanity, with its 3.5-tonne tow capacities and attendant crazy compromises.) Sorento is essentially Santa Fe with different hair and makeup (both brands hate me saying that, but it’s true). Salient differences between the three being the tow capacities, the new eight-speed wet clutch DCT in the diesel Sorento and diesel Santa Fe. Eight-speed epicyclic auto in the Palisade V6 and Palisade diesel, as well as the Sorento and Santa Fe V6 variants. V6 Palisade is a 3.8 GDI with slightly higher outputs than the 3.5 multipoint V6 in the Sorento and Santa Fe. The V6 petrols are all 2WD, while the diesels are all on-demand AWD. Diesel is the pick in all three, in my view - better economy, better low- and mid-rev performance and AWD for the win there. Plus, the new DCT in Sorento and Santa Fe is pretty sweet. It’s essentially the same transmission they’re about to slip into the i30 N DCT. Full review on Palisade and new Santa Fe in coming weeks. Just wanted to share this with you as it breaks, lest you zig when you should’ve zagged on the showroom floor before Christmas.
12/15/2020 • 7 minutes, 29 seconds
Inside a holiday towing disaster ... and how you can prevent one
It’s never good when your trailer overtakes your vehicle. As I understand it, death was narrowly averted. So, on the cusp of this holiday season, I want to make sure this does not happen to you.
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Here’s six preventative towing tips. Number one: Minimise the mass of the trailer relative to the vehicle towing it. When it comes to trailers and safety, smaller is definitely better, and it terrifies me the people who e-mail me direct and say, basically, that they want to tow three tonnes with the smallest vehicle possible, because it’s also their daily driver. That’s nuts. If you want to tow a heavy trailer, get a heavy vehicle. This is the fundamental stability solution. Personally I think it’s fairly insane to tow a trailer heavier than the kerb mass of the vehicle towing it. Number two: get the trailer and the vehicle set up right, with five to 10 per cent of the loaded mass of the trailer as the static towball download. That’s ideal for stability. Measure the weights - do not guess, or read them off a spec sheet. Visit a weighbridge and do this right. Number three, drive conservatively. That means, knock 10 or 15 kays off how you’d normally drive (conservatively). It can feel quite OK towing heavy at 100 - but it can also come unglued very rapidly, as you’ve seen. Just change your mindset here, and for Christ’s sake, let faster vehicles past at every opportunity. There’s no need to ramp up the tension on an already struggling road system. Number four: Leave some ‘acceleration juice’ in the tank. Meaning: one of the reasons the driver of this ill-fated towing assignment crashed out is that if you drive a trailer and it starts to get the death wobbles, the best move is: accelerate gently and don’t try counter-steering. (Because acceleration reduces amplitude, and counter-steering often causes the amplitude of the subsequent swing to increase - and you only get about four swings until it’s all over, at speed, right?) Number five: Get some driver training. This trains you to look as far down the road as possible, which is generally where you want the vehicle and the trailer to go, in that order. Under pressure, you generally steer where you’re looking and it’s less likely you’ll over-compensate with the steering. Finally - number six: If you’re upgrading the vehicle, get one with a ‘trailer anti-sway’ algorithm built into the electronic stability control system. Computers are generally better at this than most/all drivers. Not only do they detect the problem and intervene sooner, but they also intervene better, by cutting power when it’s needed and applying the brakes to individual wheels to generate the yaw response needed to cure the problem. The best cure here is prevention. Just don’t get in this situation. Tow a conservative trailer and drive conservatively.
12/14/2020 • 13 minutes, 53 seconds
Kona EV + fat Michelins = sub-$1000 max bang-for-buck dynamics hack!
You know how I always say ‘never modify a new car to do what you want it to do’? Well, when it comes to the Hyundai Kona Electric after 7000-ish kays, I am really quite pleased I didn’t take my own advice on that. Details next.
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This is such a huge difference in underlying character - huge boost for driving dynamics in all conditions - and incredibly cost-effective, when you think about it. Like, it’s just over one per cent of the price of the vehicle. Tyres are actually the most cost-effective automotive performance modification of all time - because they bolt straight up, and they enhance acceleration, cornering and braking. Show me the other mod which can do so much, for so little. All you need to bring to the party is skill. So, 400 kays down the track, split between the ‘burbs and the open road... The biggest single difference is lateral grip. Which also means more roll too, which makes the electron-powered Kona feel more confident during assertive cornering. More progressive transition from grip to slip Better on-centre feel and positive return to centre out of a bend. You also get better high-speed stability - and stability transitioning the crown for overtaking. Better - astoundingly better - in the wet. It’s a complete dynamics character change. Tyres all look black and round, but there’s a vast difference between the crap ones and the good ones, and these Michelins are very good. There’s an amazing amount of tech - so here’s just a small insight… Tread specificity - outside for grip, concentric ring for high-speed stability and inside edge for water dispersal No spare for the Kona EV - you get a mini compressor and some goo. So a plug kit like this one can pay a real dividend on the open road. It won’t fix all punctures but it will keep you mobile after a simple puncture. I got mine from Sparesbox. Noisier, and probably won’t last as long. Quite expensive. But you get what you pay for - and you can certainly buy tyres from brands you’ve never heard of for less than half the price. But my strong advice is: don’t penny-pinch on tyres - you never know when that extra grip might save your life, or someone else’s. Overall, a tremendously positive change. I found them selling online for about $230 each (although Hyundai supplied these ones free and pre-scuffed from a previous assignment).
12/13/2020 • 19 minutes, 40 seconds
Mazda to launch 2021 MX-5 GT RS track special (but there’s a problem)
Mazda Australia will launch an allegedly track-ready MX-5 this January, but it appears to have shot itself somewhat hilariously in the wedding vegetables in doing so.
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Mazda Australia was apparently looking for a cheap way to sex-up the ageing MX-5 for 2021. So they added some front Brembos with, they claim, 26 per cent greater fade-resistance, plus 17-inch forged alloy BBS wheels and a strut brace. Glorified bolt-ons. But just enough to justify calling it the new MX-5 GT RS. There’s also wireless Apple Car Play and a new blue colour in the range, as well as black caps on the wing mirrors - be still, my beating heart. “The Mazda MX-5 is the embodiment of Mazda’s Zoom-Zoom philosophy,” - Vinesh Bhindi. Big Bhindi is the administrative type who counts the beans at the top of Mazda’s local import shop. I’d respectfully suggest to B-Squared that ‘Zoom-Zoom’ is a philosophy in exactly the same way that the menu at the local Cantonese takeaway is literature... Anyway, here’s where the fun starts: “...the MX-5 GT RS models are a natural fit for club motorsport use... Hold that thought. It’s from the official press release, dated yesterday. “Augmenting these upgrades are sophisticated Bilstein gas-pressurised dampers that are designed to deliver track-ready grip and feedback…” That’s also from the press release. However, on Mazda Shitsville’s official warranty page, section 8: “What is not covered by this warranty?” 8.1: “Racing” Specifically: “Use of the Mazda Vehicle in competition racing or related purposes.” ‘Competition racing.’ Really? Like, show me the racing that’s not actually competition. So there’s that. And what exactly, I wonder, are these ‘related purposes’? Safety car? Display car at a track event? Is a ‘related purpose’ a driver training day on a racetrack, or a skidpan, or a hill climb, or a personal track session at an open track day? In any case, here’s a car about which the manufacturer publicly claims (quote) ‘track-ready grip and feedback’ and which is (quote) a ‘natural fit for club motorsport’ - but it seems if you actually do this with your new MX-5 GT RS you are at risk of voiding the warranty, at least as it is currently written. Oops a daisy. The delicious irony here is found in the detail of Australian Consumer Law. Specifically the legislated guarantee of ‘acceptable quality,’ which says, in part, that consumer goods, including cars, must match descriptions made about them in promotions or advertising. And if the business fails to deliver these things, then, according to the ACCC, you have legislated consumer rights for repair, replacement or refund, plus compensation for damages or loss. These rights exist irrespective of the warranty status. So it seems to me Mazda Shitsville has painted itself deliciously into something of a corner with this allegedly track-ready car that is allegedly a natural fit for club motorsport, despite offering a warranty that is apparently voided by doing exactly these things with it...
12/11/2020 • 9 minutes, 5 seconds
2021 Outback engine announcement highlights Subaru’s biggest problem
New Subaru Outback - on-sale (finally) this March, after delays of what seems like geologic time. But Subaru has a major problem, and we really need to talk about this, in the interest of integrity.
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Subaru Australia is stuck in a rut of extreme boredom. Product planning mediocrity. And they need to snap right out of it. Because cars are allowed to be exciting - in fact, it’s better if they are. Better from some of us. Certainly better for Subaru, overall. Don’t get me wrong - huge Subaru fan. I’ve owned four new Subarus: two WRXs, an Outback and a Forester XT. And that XT was my favourite - WRX in sheep’s clothing. Could’ve used more grip, but hey - it was fun. Subaru gets full marks from me for looking after its customers. If you’ve got a problem, you get the benefit of the doubt from Subaru. (Unlike Volkswagen, Mercedes, Nissan, Jeep, etc., the default setting of which is to throw you under the bus in the same situation.) So I’m coming at this like something of a disappointed fan. Last week, Subaru Shitsville issued a press release concerning the new Outback. Finally here in three months, they claim. The bombshell for us here in Shitsville is: 2.5i boxer four atmo petrol engine only. Right across the range. No 3.6R, no diesel, and even more disappointingly, no new 2.4-litre turbo boxer four. You know, the one developed specifically for this vehicle, which suits it so perfectly, and tops the range in Retardistan. Developed as the logical successor to the 3.6R. "On the outside, the rugged exterior styling reinforces the Outback’s SUV capabilities, and every variant will be powered by a refined 2.5-litre horizontally opposed Boxer engine." - Subaru Shitsville Not good enough, dudes - just … not good enough. Try harder. Make stronger representations to the factory. It’s disgraceful - a company like Subaru should not aspire to mediocrity, in my view, and that’s exactly where this train wreck is heading. It’s almost as if Toyota’s stake in Subaru is metastasising through the business, at the highest level, philosophically. “Outback continues to set the standard for safety and driveability with an advanced suite of safety and driver assist technologies. Outback will have an incredible specification list cementing it as the flagship of the Subaru range.” - Blair Read there - Subaru’s dude at the top of the local import operation. Dude, if the first words which fall out of your pie-hole on new Outback, which one can only presume are the features you are the most tumescent about … if this rhetoric orbits ‘driver assist technologies’ - narcolepsy is imminent. Get a halo model at the top of the range - just get one, so that people who actually like cars and driving have something to aspire to, and/or gush over. Spend more cash on. Whatever.
12/8/2020 • 15 minutes, 45 seconds
Don't Buy: 2022 Land Rover Defender (& here's why)
New Land Rover Defender - so damn sexy. Also, lemon of the year 2020 contender. Yessssss! And Land Rover ‘Straya - one of the more low-rent automotive brands in the country. Again. Still. Grubby attack on the freedom of speech, too.
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Chris Garcha recently decided he had too much money and not enough pain in his motoring life. He fell in lust with a Defender and its rolling WiFi hotspot capability … so he dropped $95,000 on this regrettable infatuation. That’s at least four years worth of inspirational - and very stern - some would say ‘merciless’ - flogging, at current market rates. Just saying. Hilariously, despite the hotspot being advertised on Land Rover Shitsville’s website, it wasn’t actually fitted to, or available in, Mr Garcha’s Defender. Missed it by ‘that much’. The dealer offered him a WiFi dongle. It’s hardly the same thing. Then they offered to swap the vehicle over for an MY22 Defender, at no cost, which apparently will have WiFi capability. If it ever gets here. A War & Peace e-mail from a dude named ‘Anthony’ ensued - the team leader of the so-called Land Rover Shitsville Customer Relationship Centre. I do find it frankly remarkable that you can be a $100,000-ish customer, and yet not be entitled to know the name (like, the full name) of the person you’re dealing with at head office, whose core function is relationship restoration. Way to build a relationship, dickheads. Bottom line - Land Rover can’t supply a replacement Defender for 18-24 months. They’re not prepared to let Mr Garcha drive his depreciating shitbox for that time, awaiting said replacement. And they can’t guarantee the specifications of the replacement in any case. So, they offered Mr Garcha a refund of $95,000 and a $6000 ex-gratia payment - subject to him signing their filthy gag order. Essentially, this represents the refund Mr Garcha seems entitled to, under Consumer Law, because the product did not match the description and promises made about it by the manufacturer. (Only, without any admission of fault by Land Rover or the dealer.) Plus $6000 to shut up about this for eternity, lest all of Land Rover’s lawyers come after Mr Garcha for damages, as only arsehole corporate lawyers can. Remember: Land Rover is not being generous here. A full refund is a legislated consumer entitlement in these circumstances. Circumstances about which there appears to be no dispute. It seems to me Land Rover Shitsville is simply not above using its power to leverage Mr Garcha’s understandable dissatisfaction - and holding out a carrot in exchange for a gag. Seems asymmetric. And morally reprehensible. The mafia does business this way, seemingly. Just change a few details and this becomes exactly the kind of deal you’d enter into with John Gotti. I’m trying to see an ethical dimension here. I really am trying to see a moral justification for giving Land Rover the benefit of the doubt, in relation to this conduct, and I am failing.
12/3/2020 • 24 minutes, 41 seconds
Hyundai announces E-GMP dedicated EV platform
In this report: Hyundai-Kia-Genesis just announced an all-new EV architecture - platform, drivetrain tech and modular battery system.
Plans are in place to sell 1 million EVs by 2025. 18-minute charging, 0-100 in 3.5 seconds and top speed of 260km/h are claimed for some upcoming models. So, we might have to talk about that.
Then, ask me anything for a bit, in the chat - over to you.
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12/2/2020 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 45 seconds
EV -Vs- ICE: What really handles better?
That EV you just bought? That EV you maybe just test-drove because you’re thinking of buying one? It handled awesome, right? Chances are - it doesn't/didn’t. Not 'awesome' - but relax ... it’s not all bad.
Olight Black Friday flash sale Up to 40% off (website-wide 20% off)
Date: 8PM 25th-Midnight 30th November
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11/29/2020 • 43 minutes, 30 seconds
Olight Warrior: Best flashlights for personal security around your car
Olight Warrior X Pro and Olight Warrior Mini flashlight review: From the point of view of enhancing your personal security in, and around your car.
IMPORTANT:
Olight Black Friday flash sale Up to 40% off (website-wide 20% off)
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View on YouTube: https://youtu.be/TVDIFuifozU
I’d suggest personal security when you are in and around your car is important, and you should be considering it. Number-one item on the ‘must have’ agenda there: a super-bright LED flashlight. (Bear in mind I’m not a lawyer. None of this report is legal advice.) This is the Olight Warrior Mini - my new, all-time favourite flashlight for everyday carry. It’s brilliant. (Yes - pun intended.) Olight is huge in military and law-enforcement, especially in the USA. I didn’t even know they had an outpost here in ‘Straya. But they reached out to me, and here we are, reviewing the Warrior Mini, and it’s big brother - the Warrior X Pro. Importantly, Olight has no influence over this report. But why should you even carry a flashlight? (Especially if you’ve survived this long without one.) I mean, here in ‘Straya bad men tend not to ride over the hill, one evening and put everyone to the sword, inconveniently. To which I would retort: When did Noah build the Ark? Before the rain, dude. Plus, this is not not all about defence and violence - it’s about support in a range of foreseeable situations, out there. Such as, say you can break down somewhere remote, middle of the night. Try changing a tyre by Braille. You’d kill for a flashlight. Checking fuses. Seeing where all that water is leaking from. Or when you just dropped that screw, those keys … whatever, in the dark. I know you can do some of this with a phone. But perhaps you drive around a bend, middle of the night, out in the boonies. There’s a crash. It’s a bad one. You’re the first responder. People are hurt. 20,000 serious injuries on Australian roads annually. This could easily happen to you. If it does, you need to park your car to stop someone else crashing into you. You’re going to need a flashlight to assess the victims and help. Find your first aid kit, which I hope you are carrying. Gotta build the Ark before the rain. Alternatively, you might just park one day in a nice, seemingly safe spot. Lots of people around. Broad daylight. You go off and … help cure cancer. Feed the homeless. When you come back, it’s dark. You’re alone. Or, maybe, not alone, in the worst possible way. It’s not the same environment as before. Like, it’s just not. You are particularly vulnerable to attack getting into and out of your car, alone. And between the car and your home if you park on the street.
11/26/2020 • 19 minutes, 42 seconds
2021 Kia Carnival Vs 2021 Hyundai Palisade: Early Buyer's Guide (plus live Q&A)
Answering everyone who has asked me recently about these two: the upcoming all-new Kia Carnival people mover and the new Palisade SUV from Hyundai. Plus, your live Q&A: EV tax, turbo-diesel cooling, and trade-ins.
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11/25/2020 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 50 seconds
Sulphur in petrol: Australia's dirty secret (plus your Q&A)
In this report: Answering a question from you, about Australia's sky-high sulphur level in petrol. Will it wear your engine out early? Why is it so bad? What about pollution (which kills more people than the road toll)?
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11/22/2020 • 1 hour, 26 minutes, 5 seconds
Is this the end of new car discounts?
The car industry - still bending you over … and telling you (with a straight face) how this is a real plus for you.
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The car industry’s grubby little lobby group in the nest of arseholes known colloquially as Canberra - continues its production of weapons-grade bullshit.
See, a proposal being considered by a Senate committee next week would see prices for new cars fixed, eliminating haggling and negotiated discounts.
“That capacity to negotiate with someone who negotiates day in, day out in their lives, being the dealer, is a fear factor for some consumers. This takes away the negotiation price.”
Tony Weber there - Rear Admiral of the Federal Chamber of Automotive Industries. Almost speaking the Queen’s English. One of my all-time favourite industry dudes. I find Mr Weber endlessly entertaining. A master. And you don’t see that very often.
The convoluted logic is, apparently: ‘we’ll take away your terror (of being ripped off by a professional rabid negotiator) by making sure everyone pays top-dollar and therefore gets ripped-off equally.
We’ll eliminate all of the discounts. Problem solved. Like, what next? Nuclear proliferation, cancer or world peace?
Currently, you can go to a dealer and negotiate a better price, or get ripped off by paying the full freight. Under this proposal, ‘full freight’ is the only option.
So, here’s the thing: Buying a new car is just like buying a fridge, or a TV. Or a camera. Retailers (called ‘car dealers’ in this instance) buy the cars from the carmaker. Selling them to you becomes the dealer’s problem at this point. Dealers can discount the prices as they see fit, because prices generally cannot be fixed under Australian law.
The only difference is: when you buy a TV or a camera, you see all the different brands of TVs and cameras up on the wall in some shop, and you can compare them directly. And this is really good - Sony has this, Panasonic has that, Canon does it like this … kinda thing.
With cars, dealers sell only one brand under the one roof, and you therefore must traipse all over town to view the direct competitors on your short list. That’s generally a bit of a bastard.
If refrigerators and TVs and bicycles and tools and cameras and hardware and caravans and boats and holidays and - everything else - can all be sold by independent retailers without price-fixing, why is it such a good idea to fix the price of cars? Riddle me that.
What is so special about cars? Why are cars so commercially unique and demanding of special regulatory consideration in this bilaterally grubby under-the-table up-touching ballet which seems to routinely to play out between politicians and lobbyists?
This is really happening because car companies are at war with car dealers, and they want to see them eliminated. Or, at the very least, grossly disempowered. Essentially carmakers want you to buy direct, from them, online, with no negotiation.
11/21/2020 • 13 minutes, 15 seconds
Epic Livestream Q&A podcast #6 - ask me anything
Join me live on YouTube every Thursday evening at 8:30pm (Sydney time) where I answer your questions live for 1hr+.
You bring the questions/comments (ask me anything) and I'll do my best to answer them.
If that time's not convenient for you (wherever you are in the world) then the stream is viewable on my YouTube Channel, and the audio podcast is of course available here.
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11/20/2020 • 44 minutes
Lunchtime Livestream: Should I buy a Kia Stinger or Hyundai i30 N?
In this report: People buy cars for all kinds of illogical reasons. Or, at least, cars from conflicting, illogical categories.
Logically, if the Stinger is right for you, then the i30 N would be wrong, right? But perhaps life is more complex than that... Certainly you are allowed to like both.
Considering a performance car? Here are my most recommended:
Kia Stinger >>
Hyundai i30 N >>
Subaru WRX >>
Hyundai i30 Fastback N >>
Then, ask me anything automotive related, in the chat - over to you.
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11/19/2020 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 40 seconds
Livestream: Cheap cars that drink expensive fuel (plus Q&A)
Cheap cars - like the Suzuki Swift Sport and Toyota C-HR, which demand premium unleaded - a trap for mainstream car buyers.
Then, ask me anything automotive related, in the chat - over to you.
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11/19/2020 • 50 minutes, 5 seconds
Should you buy a GR Yaris AWD homologation special (is it a good investment)?
Should you bite the bullet and indulge your inner ‘boy racer’ … and buy a GR Yaris? Just associating the word ‘Yaris’ with anything even vaguely desirable does feel odd. Gotta say. And will it be a decent investment? There’s that to consider.
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The GR is essentially not a Yaris at all - at least not as we expect it. It’s a full-on WRC homologation special. Completely different body - three doors. Plus it’s lower and wider and lighter. It’s got 260 more spot welds and 15 metres more adhesive - and a carbon fibre roof. (All of which keep it stiffer.)
Massive grille, twin exhaust, world’s most powerful turbo petrol three-cylinder engine. 1.6 litres. So, they’re big cylinders. I like three cylinders, too - literally half of a straight six. And there’s an out-of-balance rotating couple that tends to make them rock longitudinally. So they’re typically categorised as ‘raucous’ - which a lot of cars need to mask. But not this one, clearly.
200 kilowatts and 360 Newton-metres - and the turbo makes it pretty punchy over about 3000rpm. Five and a bit seconds to 100, kinda thing.
Proper AWD, too. Not this part-time rubbish. Defaults to 60;40 drive (front to rear) but if you select ‘Sport’ mode you can get 70 per cent of the drive at the rear, or opt for 50:50 in ‘Track’ mode.
Full independent rear, too. Big brakes. 18-inch alloys running Pilot Sport 4S Michelins.
What I’m essentially saying is: Proper driver’s car. For a change, from Toyota. It’s a six-speed manual, with rev-matching (which you can turn off if you want to go ‘old school’ and heel-and-toe). And you can turn the ESC off if you want to recalibrate your ‘slide rule’. And an old-fashioned ‘pull-up’ handbrake, which (if activated while in motion) de-couples the AWD system.
Goodness me - why would anyone want to do that? (It would be a travesty having an electronic handbrake on a car such as this.) It’s even got radar cruise - which is pretty rare in a manual.
Bottom line - buying a car like this is a love thing. And you don’t have to rationalise love. Personally I’d love to carve up a rich wanker in an A45 AMG in a Yaris. In the wet. On the outside. That would be just one of those enduring, special moments.
So, buy this car if you love it. If it moves you … you know [LOOK DOWN] down there. Don’t justify it to yourself as an investment. That’s about as real as the Easter Bunny.
11/17/2020 • 19 minutes, 59 seconds
Recall alert: How demons possessed the LED Mercedes logo
If you’re a tasteless, rich, compulsive tool in ‘Murica, I’m here today to explain how someone recently left the gate open in Hell, thus allowing demons to possess your Mercedes, while the rest of us spectate, with an air of bemused sympathy.
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Americans were informed by Mercedes of America on Friday that anyone lacking the good taste to refrain from installing the optional illuminated triple-point suppository logo for the grille of their GLE 350, 450, or 580, or their GLS 450 or 580, could find demons in possession of the electrical earth. Demons. Demons with no taste and a poor grasp of aesthetics - but still demons. From hell. (The pit.) Hilariously, this grounding defect might be shared with the power steering control unit, the wiper motor and/or the left headlamp, depending on how haphazardly the … let’s call him … ‘technician’ installed the … ‘feature’. #’Engineered like no other car’. Thankfully. According to Suppository of ‘Murica, possession by demons might cause the steering, wipers and/or headlamp to (quote) “malfunction”. If that happens: “This could increase the risk of a crash.” You think? ‘Mazing. Upliftingly, according to official National Highway Traffic Safety Administration documentation, Suppository of ‘Murica has managed to find 12,799 chronic CMD sufferers wealthy enough to tick the box for the optionally illuminated ‘CMD star’, as I just decided it should henceforth be known. And that’s just this year. CMD is, of course, Compulsive Masturbatory Disorder - a terrible affliction that strikes down the recently wealthy, usually in their prime. The Mayo Clinic is working hard on a cure, thus far unsuccessfully. The best they’ve managed at this point is this simple screening test for the wealthy. If you think this is a nice idea, you’ve probably got the CMD gene. The test is over 99 per cent accurate. According to the Suppository of ‘Murica website, the CMD Star costs just $500 - and no extra charge for botching the wiring. You can even compliment it with the LED-illuminated running boards (just $650) - if you prefer the full ‘CMD Starship Suppository’ look. You don’t even need a Mercedes-Benz donor vehicle to take full advantage of this incredible CMD-for-yourself opportunity, to experience how the other half live. With a jigsaw and some duct tape (perhaps some caulking compound if you want to do it ‘fancy’) you could experience CMD for yourself, at a fraction of the cost of the real thing, perhaps behind the wheel of an ageing Hyundai Excel or even mum’s Camry. What an upgrade! She’ll never even know. Installation’s a breeze, too. Provided, of course, you remember not to short out the steering, the wipers or the lights - but, hey, only a Muppet would make a mistake like that.
11/16/2020 • 10 minutes, 19 seconds
How do car dealers get away with this in 2021?
How does the car industry get away with this, in 2021? Especially at the retail coalface. Up next: The ugly truth about the Ming Moll.
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Last week on my ‘Ask me anything’ livestream - 8:30pm Thursdays, Sydney time - at the risk of sounding like ‘Confession time at the urologist’, I had a problem with my stream. I just couldn’t squeeze it out, contiguously, at the end. I don’t know why. Flow became intermittent, and it was hard to follow. I felt like I had more in me, frankly, but I was compelled to end it early. Most dissatisfying. Right when I was explaining the whole Ming Moll phenomenon. So, let’s talk about that. Clear it all up. What are Ming Molls and why do I, at times, refer to them? OK - so ‘Ming’ (not the one from Flash Gordon) Ming was a form of automotive paint protection, in the olden days. Like, back when women were still throwing it at me. Occasionally. Ming was a classic upsell at a dealership. Like, you know the endurance event, right? The sales guy wearing you down … gun at your head, metaphorically. Sign here. Meet the sales manager - he’s closing you, trying to make you think he’s approving a deal the sales guy can’t approve - because it’s so good - but they’re really giggling behind their hands at you standing there, holding your ankles like that. And you’ve already been interviewed by the finance guy, who’s been trained in the Idi Amin method. Then you lose the circulation in your hands over the trade-in negotiation… ...and finally, there’s the hot chick (I’m generalising) in the tight blouse … the buttons - only just adequate, in the domain of load restraint. And her mission is: Look hot and sell you accessories. Generally ones you don’t need. Keyhole surgery - goin’ in through the wallet. Yessssss! In the trade, this important sales role is invariably referred to (at least in Australia) as ‘the Ming Moll’. I’m not making this up. Every senior executive in every carmaker in the country knows what/who a Ming Moll is. No context is required. Every dealer principal. Every sales manager at dealerships. Every car company wonk. Yeah - the Ming Moll. The Ming Moll’s objective is to look hot and suggestive, and thereby sell you shit you don’t need, at the dealership’s typically extortionate billion per cent mark-up. The tinting you can get at a third of the cost, from a dude in a van, with plumber’s crack, independently. The paint and fabric protection you don’t need. The rustproofing they still sell, despite the fact - fact - that new cars are galvanised and therefore do not rust. Anyway, it seems to me that the persistence of the Ming Moll in the face of societal reforms, is a gift, editorially. This standard operating practice of the industry deserves to have the piss taken out of it endlessly, in my view. And, superficially, they are somewhat pleasant to look at, which is of course why Ming Molls exist.
Let me know what you think, in the comments below. Especially if you’re a chick. ESPECIALLY if you’re a Ming Moll. Are you pro Ming Moll, or opposed? Do try to keep it clean.
11/13/2020 • 18 minutes, 48 seconds
Epic Livestream Q&A podcast #5 - ask me anything
Join me live on YouTube every Thursday evening at 8:30pm (Sydney time) where I answer your questions live for 1hr+.
You bring the questions/comments (ask me anything) and I'll do my best to answer them.
If that time's not convenient for you (wherever you are in the world) then the stream is viewable on my YouTube Channel, and the audio podcast is of course available here.
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11/12/2020 • 55 minutes, 4 seconds
I just designed the perfect real-world EV. Tell me I'm wrong.
I just designed the perfect mainstream EV - it’s perfect - and nobody’s making it. Yet. (It’s more of a feasibility study, really.) This is a massive automotive industry opportunity.
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I remain the ultimate EV skeptic. I don’t worship at the church of Electric Jesus. Never will. And yet I’ve been driving a Hyundai Kona Electric for about 6000km now. And I do enjoy driving it. I love not going to the filling station - nostalgia factor there: -273 degrees C, on a warm day. I love the way that Kona EV gets off the mark - silent but deadly. Peak torque at zero rpm. Awesome. And I’ve never needed it to take me more than 450 kilometres in a day. It’s good on the highway, too. When I have occasionally run it down to under 10 per cent remaining, it still charges up overnight on a single-phase 240-volt, 32-amp charger at home. (That’s like maxxed-out at-home charging - 7.7 kilowatts. Set and forget, there - also brilliant.) I like not contributing to air pollution in our cities. (At least in that car - in the other two big diesel tanks in the driveway … call me a hypocrite on that.) And energy security for Shitsville - so important. [MALS] EVs certainly have a niche carved out and well defined there, even though the grid remains properly filthy. But there is an EV elephant in this room: the fundamental impediment to mainstream adoption of EVs is price. The mighty Kona Electric is $25,000 more than its petrol counterpart. Like mid-$40s drive-away for the 1.6 Turbo Highlander. About $70,000 for the EV. That’s a massive monetary hit. The petrol MG ZS is $17,000 cheaper than the EV. Only a proper EV zealot with cash to burn can justify this, or perhaps a business looking to wear its green credentials on its sleeve. And, look, there’s nothing wrong with doing that - economic rationalism is not a prerequisite for owning a vehicle. I’m just saying economic irrationalism limits the number of EV sales that can be made, ultimately. Look at the opportunity cost: What else could you do with the $17-25 grand? Most people would say: Plenty. The only two ways to make this work on the corporate side are to charge a bomb and just trickle EVs through to receptive, wealthy zealots and let market forces work it out, or petition the government to subsidise EVs so they can go mainstream. What if there were a better EV? What if the car industry took its head out of its arse and instead made the EV that people actually need, with a balance sheet that balanced? (As opposed to the zealot-magnet.) I’m talking about a new EV segment: the shitbox EV. A fairly nasty second car. A runaround with minimal features, and not much range. Just right for average driving in built-up areas, a kid-school delivery and recovery device, right at home at the commuter car park or the local shopping centre. A device with roughly the raw sex appeal of a sandwich press. A device for which the primary purpose is simply to take the load off your nice, liquid-fuelled car. I actually think this is economically rational already - even though no carmaker is apparently doing it.
11/12/2020 • 28 minutes, 52 seconds
Is the new GMSV Silverado really just Holden all over again?
The phoenix has risen from the ashes of Holden. And its name is ‘Silverado’. The hubris - the sheer, presumptuous audacity - required to pull this one off with conviction … it really is ‘export grade’.
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According to GMSV: “North American trucks are redefining the ute market in Australia and New Zealand.” I respectfully disagree. Silverado sales approximate zero at this point. So, absolute redefinition of the segment there from Silverado: Zero. RAM is of course just like Silverado, only with different hair and makeup, kinda thing. Last year was RAM’s first full year on sale here: 2868 sales in a 4X4 dual-cab market of 168,869 units. I struggle to see how a market share of 1.7 per cent for Retardistani trucks could constitute any kind of (quote-unquote) ‘redefinition’ of a segment. These vehicles are, at best, niche. And that’s all they will ever be here - over-hyped and kind of irrelevant. (It’s OK to like them - that’s allowed.) The Silverado (and RAM) party trick is, of course 4.5 tonnes of alleged tow capacity. This is going to attract some people. It just rolls off the tongue. 4.5 tonnes. (‘I’m in’ - as Jeep would say.) In Silverado’s case this is possible only if you fit a 70mm ball, and limit yourself to 422kg of download. But this is a vehicle that weighs 2.5 tonnes. (It’s actually 200 kilos lighter than a Landcruiser 200 Sahara.) If you think it’s a good idea to tow a 4.5-tonne trailer with a vehicle such as this, I would submit that you are functionally insane, or staggeringly out of touch. Trailers with centralised axle groups - like, single, tandem or triple-axle pig trailers - are fundamentally unstable in yaw and pitch. I’m talking caravans, boats, horse floats and campers. They rely on the underlying stability of the towing vehicle to remain stable in yaw and pitch. And it’s kind of important that they do stay controlled. So, when the pig is 4.5 tonnes (which is nearly 80 per cent heavier than the Silverado) it’s very easy for the pig to nudge the vehicle around, at highway speeds, and the ‘tail’ thus it wags the ‘dog’. And I do mean ‘dog’. Catastrophically. Especially in yaw. This is fundamentally unsafe. Thankfully the 4.5-tonne tow limit in Silverado is largely bullshit. In practise. See, gross combination mass for Silverado is 7160 kilos. (I’m getting this from their website.) Take away 4500 for the heaviest trailer and 2540 kilos for the kerb mass and you’re left with just 120 kilos for total payload. (That’s when you’re towing 4.5 tonnes.) I know some caravanners who would overload the vehicle, just by climbing aboard. Certainly it’s not a ‘his & hers’ proposition. In the immortal words of renowned social philosopher Bonn Scott: “Ain’t no fairy story. Ain’t no skin and bones. But you give it all you got, weighin’ in at 19 stone.” That’s from the insulin resistant caravan owner’s national anthem, 1977. From the double platinum album - Takin’ a dump ‘out there’. Do consider all this before spending, like, $140,000 on a Silverado
11/11/2020 • 13 minutes, 41 seconds
Ford "don't buy" warning for 2021: Endura SUV just axed!
Hilariously enough, Ford named its Kluger competitor the Endura. Now they’ve boned it, in Australia, less than two short years after its release. This just satirises itself. The non-enduring Endura - truth once again being weirder than fiction...
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Ford Oz gave birth to baby Endura here in December 2018, with (one imagines) high hopes of it growing rapidly and taking the lucrative fight to Kluger and CX-9 and Santa Fe and Sorento … and CX-8, and Subaru Outback, and even Tiguan Allspace. But all of these SUVs continue to out-sell Endura, which couldn’t even match Skoda Kodiaq on sales. Go figure. Well done, Ford. #Consistency. Even Holden Acadia out-sold Endura - which is, kinda, a neat trick, for a brand that doesn’t actually exist any more. So far this year, Toyota’s uber-popular Kluger is living proof that mediocrity is the recipe for outright success in seven-seat SUVs. Mediocre Kluger outsold non-enduring Endura by more than seven to one. CX-9 out-sold it more than five to one. This is a race, with absolutely no need for the video referee. Ford’s marketing is so bad that (I’m tipping) most SUV buyers don’t even know that a non-enduring Endura ever existed. And now, of course, it doesn’t. Not being able to sell a large SUV in ‘Straya is like not being able to drink 100 long-necks of VB, every hour. Or being unable to find a venomous reptile within 10 feet of the back door. Not being able to sell a large SUV here is un-friggin’-’Strayan. So Ford has boned this unappealing vehicle, after selling only 1015 non-enduring Enduras - and I wouldn’t want to be one of those owners, or the 1986 punters who bought one in late 2018 or across 2019. Nobody, statistically, wanted a non-enduring Endura, new. Nobody, statistically, is gunna want yours at resale time, used, with three years of your residual farts infused into the seats. The term ‘depreciation dog’ springs to mind. Buying a depreciation dog is, of course, a great way to burn cash, and I want you to know that this is not merely idle speculation in this case: According to Redbook, if you had purchased in 2018 a range-topping non-enduring Endura Titanium at launch for about $68,000 (before on-road costs) it’d trade for about $38,800 today, on average. You’d burn just over $29,000. If, instead, you’d come to your senses at the 11th hour and procured alternatively a range-topping Mazda CX-9 Azami, for about $66,500, it’d trade today for about $45,000, and you’d burn only about $21,500. This puts you $7500 behind, in just 23 months, in the Ford. Imagine getting $80 a week and just throwing it out the window, arbitrarily, every Friday afternoon. Because that’s what non-enduring Endura buyers have been doing, effectively. Look, the kindest I can be is to say: It’s probably OK to buy a Ranger or an Everest. There’s a reasonable demand for them, used. But as for the rest of the SUVs and all the cars bearing the blue-oval badge... ...the risk of your resale value making like Dresden on February 15th, 1945, over the next three to five years is rather high. Some would say, unacceptably so, and I would be one of those saying that.
11/10/2020 • 9 minutes, 36 seconds
Is it safe to sit in row 3 of an SUV?
would you put your child in row three of an SUV or a people mover - if you knew the vehicle did not have head-protecting side airbags in that row? And how would you even know if it had that? I just carved up the market - 20 seven-seat SUVs and four people movers … and the row-three protection offerings might surprise you.
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This week I went through the somewhat laborious process of figuring which vehicles had the airbags in row three. In people movers, Kia Carnival, Toyota Granvia and Honda Odyssey get big ticks for row three protection (and row four as well in the case of the four-row Toyota). But the LDV G10 does not - nor does it offer that side protection in row one or two - which goes some way to explaining its pathetic three-star rating. Among seven-seat SUVs, MU-X, Fortuner and Everest manage to offer that row three protection, while Pajero Sport does not. I’m lumping them together because they’re all essentially converted dual-cab utes. Landcruiser 200 also offers you that side protection, as does Prado, Kluger and Nissan Pathfinder, but I cannot tell you about Pajero or Patrol, because ANCAP’s evaluations there are hopelessly outdated and the technical reports do not include this information. LDV D90 - yes, for row three. Also in the ‘Yes’ column are Honda CR-V, Mazda CX-8 and CX-9. The entrants which either fail to offer this protection, or offer it only partially, are X-TRAIL, Outlander, Santa Fe, Sorento, Ford Endura, and SsangYong Korando - but I cannot tell you about the Rexton because it has not been tested by ANCAP. Before I let you go on this: I honestly cannot tell you if this is a meaningful metric about whether or not to buy a particular vehicle. Like: does it make sense not to buy a vehicle if it lacks this protection? In isolation: it’s probably a poor way to choose a vehicle. I don’t know how many people actually die or are injured in row three - and I don’t know the modality of their injuries. I can tell you only 27 children aged from newborn to 16 died on the road in the six months from April to September this year. (Clearly, they weren’t all sitting in row three - some were probably pedestrians, and some were probably the victims of parental incompetence - such as failing to be restrained by drunk parents, or somesuch.) Transport injuries - which is not just cars, but is probably mainly cars - hospitalises about 19,000 kids a year. (In perspective, falls are roughly double that, and ‘other’ is the largest official category of child injuries - at about 50,000 annually.) I’d also want to know if side impact injury is even a major thing in row three - because if the modality of injury is mainly rear-enders, we’d clearly be better off focussing on structural protection and controlled crumpling to the rear, huh? It may well be that side curtain protection is something of a sideshow for row three. In the absence of data, how would you know?
11/7/2020 • 16 minutes, 36 seconds
Epic Automotive Livestream Q&A - answering your questions live (episode 4)
Join me live on YouTube every Thursday evening at 8:30pm (Sydney time) where I answer your questions live for 1hr+.
You bring the questions/comments (ask me anything) and I'll do my best to answer them.
If that time's not convenient for you (wherever you re in the world) then the stream is replayable on my YouTube Channel, and the audio podcast is of course available here.
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11/5/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 52 seconds
The truth about servicing automatic transmissions (even the sealed ones)
You need to service auto transmissions - even the sealed ones. This report is the how, why and when - for ordinary and severe applications, as well as whether you need to fit an aftermarket cooler or not.
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This report answers the following question, from a dude named Barry:
"I really enjoy your videos as they give us non experts factual information that's difficult to get from other sources that are often less reliable. I'd like to get some facts from you about what are harmful temperatures of the oil in automatic transmissions. I drive a 2.8l Prado with auto transmission & occasionally tow a camper trailer weighing 1.6 tonnes. Connected to the OBD2 port in the Prado is a ScanGauge2 that allows me to see the readings from many of the sensors on the car. I've been particularly interested in the readout of the transmission temperature.
"Some time ago you published a video that recommended using auto setting to tow & not to use the transmission as a "manual". Normally when towing I'd set the transmission into the 1:1 ratio 4th gear & tow in that mode. After watching your video, on the next camping trip to western Qld I put the Prado into Drive to see what, if any, difference it made. It did drive a little differently & shifted gears a lot more as it moved between the 5th & 6th overdrive gears to 4th gear or lower depending on the terrain. The transmission temperature in this auto mode was regularly in the range of high 90 to over 100 deg C with the ambient temperature in the mid to high 20's.
"Next I went back to my default towing mode with the transmission set to 4th as the highest gear ratio used. There were less gear changes (no surprises there) but the transmission temperatures were definitely lower, mostly in the 80's & occasionally into the low 90's. Ambient temperatures were the same as before. The downside was that the fuel consumption was slightly higher. At a service after that trip I got my mechanic to change the transmission oil as on inspection it appeared much darker than normal. I'm not sure whether this was a result of the way it was driven on this trip or not.
"My understanding is that the optimum temperature for longevity of an auto transmission is somewhere in the 80 deg range & anything higher was likely to cause long term damage if the oil wasn't changed regularly (the Prado service schedule is for an oil change each 40,000 kms or 2 yrs). Can you give me some guidance on whether this is correct or not & what regularly running at the types of temperatures seen in auto mode are damaging. There must be many Prados (and other makes) out there that are used for towing & driven in a set & forget fashion that could be just waiting for an expensive appointment with a service centre. "I'd appreciate your comments on this subject."
Many thanks
Barry
11/5/2020 • 22 minutes, 11 seconds
The extreme beer garden physics episode (total nerd)
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This report is inspired by the following question from Mike Bristow:
Hi John, Great report and fantastic clarity. No one else goes to such lengths to explain things like this the way you do. Great job. During your video, you stated that accelerating from zero appears quick and tails off the faster you go until you can't accelerate any more. Presumably due to the physical limitations of the engine (air/petrol intake, physical properties of the engine, and ultimately air pressure etc.) Because you appear to me to be extremely adept at explaining issues involving the more fundamental properties of science, would you please indulge me in explaining something that is kind of linked, but nothing to do with cars - yet anyway. Your statement re acceleration struck a chord and made me think about a lifelong issue that no one has been able to explain. The issue being the finite speed of light. A light wave or particle (not sure if they've decided which is which yet but never mind) travels, as you know, at a bit over 670 million miles an hour and according the prophet Einstein, nothing can travel faster. Is it because there is no known force that can give it more momentum or simply something that prevents it going faster by getting in its way like the fabric of space itself, if that actually exists. I know this is a very simplified way of looking at it but surely things should be explainable so the common man can understand. All the common axioms that get blurted out by nerds that think they believe in relativity etc. drive me round the twist. I'm just looking for an honest, down to earth answer as to why light can't go faster than 670 million mph. Sorry to bother you with this John but if you do have the time, I'm sure your answer would make not just me but a lot of interested science guys like me very happy. If I don't hear from you, I completely understand. All the best, Mike.
11/3/2020 • 25 minutes, 52 seconds
Unofficial advice from a police prosecutor on taking a traffic fine to court
In this report: Unofficial pointers from a prosecutor in Redneckistan (which I think some people still refer to as ‘Queensland’).
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This report is inspired by the following unsolicited advice from a Queensland police prosecutor. (Name withheld to protect identity.)
"I prosecute Traffic offences in Queensland. The roadside conversations can help people if they’re dealing with your general duties police, not likely if you are dealing with our road policing guys.
"Queensland has the Penalties and Sentences Act, section 9 speaks about the sentencing guidelines and section 18, No conviction with no further punishment. No matter what the fine is, there is also the offender levy. The demerit points always flow no matter what the penalty, unless you receive the wonderful words of Not Guilty.
"The traffic penalties for traffic tickets in Queensland are set by Queensland Transport. We also have case law where the District Court makes reference to the amount of fine ordered by the court should be higher than the ticket amount to discourage people from contesting a ticket to get a discount.
"Hypothetically, if the ticket amount is $400, you contest it, go to court and decide to plead guilty, you wear the fine plus the offender levy. I say fine because once the ticket becomes a charge, you are open to the maximum penalty which for some offences is 20 penalty units or about $2800.
"One other thing, the prosecutor’s office is somewhat independent of the police who issue tickets. We factor in a range of considerations when deciding if we will continue with an infringement. An example of this, we have a road in Brisbane where there is a Bus jump zone. The lane is a left turn only lane, except for buses which can drive straight ahead, other vehicles must turn left. We recently had a case where a guy got a ticket for disobeying the left turn only sign. AT the time of the offence, every single lane on that road was bumper to bumper so no real gain to be in that lane, so in this instance we discontinued the proceeding.
Hope this makes sense."
11/2/2020 • 13 minutes, 40 seconds
The good news about dying on the road
An oxymoronically happy story … about dying on the road.
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When I was six, in 1970, road death was out of control in this country. In total, 3798 people died on the roads. Today, the annual death toll is just over 1100. A bit less than five million vehicles were on the road in 1970. About 20 million today, in Shitsville. Population in 1970: 12.5 million. Today, double that. Four times the vehicles and twice the people - but significantly less than one third of the death. If that’s not the happiest story ever, I don’t know what is. In 1970, nearly eight people died for every 10,000 registered vehicles. Today it’s well below 1 death for every 10,000 vehicles (0.56 in 2018). According to the Feds. In 1970, 30-ish people died on the road for every 100,000 people in the nation. In 2018, it was about 4.5. Essentially, in real terms, the roads are between seven and 14 times safer, depending on how you decide to measure such a thing. In 2018, we drove, collectively 227 billion kilometres. That’s 5.7 million laps of the planet. 57 million transcontinental runs from Steep Point to Cape Byron. It’s 22 return trips to Pluto, which isn’t even a planet any more - so, why bother going even once? And, in all this driving, 1100 people died. Every death is a tragedy, certainly - I’m not suggesting those lives don’t matter. They do. There’s a burden on each of us, every time you put your hands on the wheel to act responsibly and avoid this kind of thing. It’s, like, the primary responsibility of driving. To me, however, those 1100 deaths are tantamount to a cost of enjoying all that mobility, in an imperfect world. I’m sure many of those deaths were preventable, and I’m sure we can work on it, but it’s not out of control. It’s not even disproportionate. If you compare those 1100 road deaths to accidental falls, which killed 3300 people in 2019, it kinda puts it in perspective. (Admittedly, the average age of the deceased there was 87.4, so that’s pretty much age-related, it seems.) Poisonous or noxious substances killed 1357 Australians in 2019 - about 200 more than on the road. The big one for the grim reaper is what the statisticians call ‘intentional self harm. In total, this claimed 3317 Australians in 2019. Three times higher than the road toll. (I know what a touchy subject this is. Suicide is absolutely not a solution to a problem. If this is confronting to you - call Lifeline in Australia on 13 11 14.) The median age for the deceased here: 43.9 - so, a lot of life-years lost to self-harm. Just like the road toll, and also skewed significantly towards males in both cases. Odd similarities there. These data - from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, from: Causes of Death, Australia. What I always find amazing is that - without controlling for risk factors specifically - the risk of dying from self harm is three times higher than that of dying on the road. That does my head in. Then I look at the resources marshalled at the prevention of road trauma versus the prevention of suicide, and I wonder about society’s priorities there. (I’m not suggesting we take resources away from preventing road trauma - I’m suggesting we pay attention to other salient causes of preventable, premature death, to the overall betterment of society.)
11/1/2020 • 15 minutes, 38 seconds
Putting kids in the front seat of cars...
Perhaps you are going to strap your young kid in the front seat of your ute. This is legal (in a single cab, as far as I know) - but is it safe?
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QUESTION:
"My son is 6 and has really taken to fishing and camping. I only have a cab-chassis Hilux, and have noticed that the RTA allows a child in the front passenger side, on a booster seat... What are your thoughts on this?" - Jamie Fitzgerald
In a perfect world, only adult-sized humans would ever sit in a front seat. Airbag deployment choreography is kinda precise, and brutal. Airbags deploy at brutal speed and their spatial movement assumes an adult human will be doing the interacting. Average six-year-olds are only 1-1.2 metres tall - and this dimensional deficit is a serious spanner in the works, vis-a-vis airbag interaction, which could lead to a poor outcome in a crash… .And, Jamie here is probably driving a long way to go camping, fishing, get sunburned and find a death adder in his sleeping bag. All the fun outdoors stuff. And he’s probably driving at high speeds, too, like highway speeds, and also on imperfect roads - all of which amps up the risk of a high-mechanism collision. On the flipside, modern Hiluxes are quite safe. And driving’s really not that dangerous. In the 12 months to September 2020, just 1107 people died on the roads - that’s 4.9 per cent down on the same period last year, and 9.1 per cent down for deaths over the past six months (thanks very much, COVID-19). Injury rates on the road: roughly 40 to one. In other words, roughly 40 hospitalisations for every death, and about half those injuries are notionally ‘serious’ - meaning (in statistical terms) requiring more than one day in hospital. And, obviously some (I don’t have the data) result in lifelong disability - brain injuries and that kind of thing. In a population of nearly 25 million, it’s hardly as if road trauma is out of control. Despite what the cops and the regulators and the media would have you believe, driving is actually quite safe. Especially if you do it responsibly and capably. But there’s never been a benign transport system - and there never will be. Only 27 people aged from newborn to 16 died on the roads in the past six months, and they weren’t all in cars. Some would have been pedestrians. Being in a car is not all that dangerous for children - especially if your parents are responsible drivers who put you in the correct restraint. If you drive responsibly, conservatively, and even better, if you get advanced driver training, and if you’re diligently monitoring the environment for hazards, such as approaching dickheads, and formulating numerous ‘plan Bs’ - and not fatigued, or texting, or whatever - then you'll have a nice time camping with your young son, with very little elevation of tangible risk. In fact, when you think about all the things that can go wrong camping - all the poisonous reptiles and spiders, the blue-ringed octopus at the beach, the shark attacks, the falling out of a tree or down a cliff, the drowning … the trip there and back is likely to be the safest part of the whole Technicolor camping montage.
10/31/2020 • 13 minutes, 57 seconds
Epic Automotive Livestream Q&A - answering your questions live (episode 3)
Join me live on YouTube every Thursday evening at 8:30pm (Sydney time) where I answer your questions live for 1hr+.
You bring the questions/comments (ask me anything) and I'll do my best to answer them.
If that time's not convenient for you (wherever you re in the world) then the stream is replayable on my YouTube Channel, and the audio podcast is of course available here.
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10/29/2020 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 55 seconds
Should I buy a hybrid car? (And, if so, which one?)
In this report: You love the idea of a hybrid - but do you really need one?
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This report addresses the following question:
"I’m looking at taking a step into the hybrid market.
"I am certainly not ready to make the leap into an EV, so the HEV/PHEV option seems to be a reasonable stepping stone. Though the PHEV seem to be several $ks more expensive (and more limited in availability)."
[This is because the batteries and electrical motors are bigger - they do more work. Batteries are expensive.]
"I have a trade in - a 2010 Mitsubishi Outlander XLS, 60k odometer. A car I inherited from my father earlier this year. It is too big for my needs."
[Trade-in: Probably $6500; Private sale: $8500]
"I am looking at a net changeover of up to $40k(ish).
"I have had a test drive in a Toyota Corolla Hatch ZR Hybrid - it's nothing fancy, a bit small in the back seat (that I wouldn't use often), but will do the job.
"I'm not sure the sedan model has a ZR Hybrid option available in Aust (I haven't got back to the dealer to confirm yet)?"
[Hatch-only, I think]
"And the Hyundai Ionic that again would do the job, but didn't ring any bells for me (felt heavier, and the back window will need to get used to!)."
"Pricing there, about $40,400 (hybrid) and $47k (plug-in hybrid).
"Appreciate if you can point me in the direction of other vehicles that might suit the price range that I should consider (and recommendations). There don't seem to be many??!!"
[Key question: Why do you actually want a hybrid?]
"Once I have picked what I want, I expect to get the deed done through you guys :) Car dealers certainly are not there to be on my side!!
"I'm sure you'll have other questions, and may want to fill me in on what I need to do to progress arrangements.
"Hope to hear from you soon."
Regards,
Brian
10/28/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 26 seconds
How to get out of a (relatively minor) traffic fine (in Australia)
In this report: How to get out of a (relatively minor) traffic fine (in Australia).
I deal with interacting with the cops at the roadside, as well as getting legal advice, and maybe even making an application under Section 10 of the Crimes (Sentencing Procedure) Act 1999. (Section 10 essentially gives the court the power to record a conviction without penalty if the circumstances of the offence warrant it.)
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This report was inspired by the following question from Richie Shearer:
I’ve owned a 2016 St np300 for just over 4 yrs. A few months ago I was pulled over and booked for the towbar obstructing my numberplate. It is a genuine fitted Nissan towbar. It was fitted to the vehicle when I bought it brand-new.
The police did not care that it was a genuine fitted object. I have not paid the fine. I’ve had to go to court where it has been put off to 15 January because I pleaded not guilty. I believe that it is Nissan’s responsibility to notify their customers if the vehicle doesn’t completely meet Australian design rules. I have emailed Nissan on this issue and they are pretty much just fob me off. Is it not the responsibility of companies selling products or vehicles to notify their customers or is it up to the individuals to make sure a brand-new vehicle is ADR compliant.
Any advice would be much appreciated. The fine was $457 and three demerit points. I’m representing myself In the matter to save money. Thanks John - massive fan of the YouTube channel.” - Richie Shearer
10/26/2020 • 36 minutes, 24 seconds
Toyota Landcruiser Troopy fuel consumption (why it's so bad)
How can two engines have similar power & torque but hugely different fuel consumption? Are bigger (capacity) engines intrinsically thirstier? Details next.
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Here’s a question from a dude named Dave, concerning the King (of mediocrity) - Toyota.
"I'm comparing a Landcruiser Troopie with a new Prado. The Troopie has a V8 with 151kW & 430Nm. The Prado has an inline four-cylinder with 150kW & 500Nm. (Approximately the same power/torque.) But the Troopy uses about 15L/100 compared to the Prado at 10L/100 (both ballpark real world figures, not the ADR fantasies). "If they output about the same power, where is the big difference in fuel economy coming from? The weight of each car? Aerodynamics? Gearing? Feeding four extra cylinders, with extra engine internal friction? "If they were the same weight, and had the same Cd value, would they accelerate/overtake the same and have the same fuel usage, even though one is V8 and one an I4?" - David Deere
The data:
Diesel = 45 kJ/g (and if you do that once a second = 45kW) So, 2.2g/sec = 100kW (of potential heat energy) Combustion efficiency = 40% = 40kW @ crankshaft 15% loss via transmission = 34kW @ wheels Prado: 2.755cc 6sp (5th = 0.687:1, 6th = 0.580:1, diff = 3.91:1) 265/65R17 (Circ. = 2.26m) 150kW @ 3400rpm 500Nm @ 1600-2800rpm Bore x stroke: 92.0 x 103.6mm ADR economy: 7.9 (combined, L/100km) Kerb weight: 2325 (GXL) 100km/h = 27.8m/s = 737 wheel rpm = 2883 tailshaft rpm = 1672 engine rpm (6th) = 1981 engine rpm (5th) Total swept cylinder area = 120,000 mm^2 Troopie: 5sp (5th = 0.75:1, diff = 3.91:1) 225/95R16 (Circumf = 2.62m) 4.461cc (+62% move volume) 151 @ 3400rpm 430Nm @ 1200-3200rpm Bore x stroke: 86.0 x 96.0mm ADR economy: 10.7 (L/100km) - about 35% higher than Prado Kerb weight 2265kg 100km/h = 27.8m/s = 636 wheel rpm = 2487 tailshaft rpm = 1865 engine rpm (5th) = 11.5% higher than Prado in 6th Total swept cylinder area = 207,000 mm^2 = 72.5% more area than Prado ** but at 100km/h rpms are also 11.5% higher, so total cylinder wall friction = 81% higher (ballpark)
** Hyundai/Kia 2.2 @ 147 kW & 440 Nm I4
** Mazda 2.2 @ 140 kW & 450 Nm I4 Plus: Troopy needs to drive twice as many valves to do the same job, pumping more oil and water, etc. (Not as volumetrically efficient, and higher pumping losses, etc.) And the single turbo 4.5 V8 is a rubbish engine - like it’s the cheap, slutty version of the 4.5 TT, which makes 32.5% more peak power, 51% more peak torque and returns slightly better fuel economy - despite being in a platform weighing 500kg more.
10/25/2020 • 29 minutes, 4 seconds
Why Ford will fail in Australia
In this report: two reasons why Ford will fail in Australia
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"High performance icon to thrill Australian customers as Ford Mustang Mach 1 in manual and automatic transmissions set to debut in Australian showrooms." I immediately thought: If this is a lottery, what’s second prize? Two of those death-trap shitboxes? “Following the success of Mustang BULLITT and Mustang R-SPEC, we are very excited to introduce this highly capable, track ready Mustang to our Australian Mustang fans. The unique styling, which pays homage to the original model, is more than worthy of its legendary badge.” - Andrew Birkic Andrew Birkic there - President and CEO, Ford Shitsville and Sheepshaggistan (or, as I like to call him: ‘Big Birk’.) What is this “success” to which you allude, dude? Let me paint the Mustang sales picture for you, shall I, lest you erroneously believe this vehicle is actually a success, as alleged by B-squared? Mustang sales peaked in ‘Straya at about 9000 units in 2017. That was a win - no argument. But the next year, in 2018, they fell 30 per cent. In 2019 … a further 38 per cent implosion. And this year, Mustang sales have jumped off another cliff - 36 per cent down so far. ‘On track’ (if that’s the right term) for 2900 sales by the end of 2020. So, let me get this straight: you Ford ‘Straya dudes took one of the world’s muscle car icons, which is roughly as old as me (within months, actually) with huge cachet … and you managed to turn more than 9000 sales into less than 3000 - in four years (inclusive). Well done. ‘Result’ as they say on The Sweeney. So - that’s corporate out-of-touchedness. Here’s strategic vulnerability. The fact is, Ford in ‘Straya is one vehicle away from outright commercial collapse - and that vehicle is Ranger, and (to some extent) its spin-off, Everest. Everest exists only thanks to Ranger, and they roll on essentially the same architecture. Ranger 4X4 is the big win for Big Birk, with 26,377 sales so far this year, augmented by about 1800 Ranger 4X2s and about 4000 Everests. Together these comprise 32,000 of the almost-41,000 sales Ford Shitsville has made so far this year. It’s about 80 per cent of the business. In other words: Endura, Escape, Fiesta, Focus, Mondeo, and Puma are all nowhere. Statistically, nobody buys them. This is the real ‘Ford ‘Straya’ story - and it’s not being reported because publishers want Ford’s advertising revenue, right up to the day Dr Kevorkian gets on the line from Dearborn. Every non-Ranger based vehicle in the Ford inventory is costing the business money just by being there, available for sale. Homologation, parts, training - whatever. Ford would be more profitable in Shitsville without them. I guess the Ford Transit is successful in the context of vans, with about 2300 sales so far this year: Number three, behind Hiace and iLoad. Just to be fair. But without Ranger and its derivatives, Ford Shitsville would have slightly less commercial footprint than Chinese upstart, MG. Or, it be slightly in front of LDV (by about 2500 sales) at this point of 2020. To me, this is huge strategic risk. ‘Vulnerability’ is a better word. It takes just one disruption for Ford’s business to collapse in Australia.
10/24/2020 • 18 minutes, 44 seconds
Epic Automotive Livestream Q&A - answering your questions live (episode 2)
Join me live on YouTube every Thursday evening at 8:30pm (Sydney time) where I answer your questions live for 1hr+.
You bring the questions/comments (ask me anything) and I'll do my best to answer them.
If that time's not convenient for you (wherever you re in the world) then the stream is replayable on my YouTube Channel, and the audio podcast is of course available here.
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10/22/2020 • 1 hour, 29 minutes, 6 seconds
How to choose the right 'real' 4WD - the first time
Ditching the soft SUV and going 100 per cent hardcore, with the fam. Getting gut there - beyond the range of public WiFi
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Here’s a question from Valerie. I currently drive a Subaru XV and love it. However, we are planning on getting a trailer yacht. I have been researching a tow vehicle. I'm allowing 2.5T GTM for the boat, trailer and extras. (It’s quoted at around 1.8T, so I’m being conservative.) I'm considering Mitsubishi Triton GSR, with roll top tonneau, or possibly a Pajero. Because we also use canoes and kayaks, and have kids with bikes, the ute looks the most logical. However, given the what is to be towed, and the gear, I wonder if I should look to a higher towing safety margin - eg. a Landcruiser 200? - Valerie OK - I think you’re on the right track. (I actually own a Triton GSR with the roll-top.) It’s great for that kind of thing but if you plan on carrying those kayaks on racks, I’d want to know how the racks integrate with the roll-top (like, the rear rack). Exactly how do we make that work without interfering with the rolltop? Triton is excellent value among utes. I’d really like it to come with adaptive cruise, but hey - there’s no such thing as the perfect ute. Super Select II (the transfer case in Triton) is excellent. I really like the way 4H is available with the centre diff unlocked. This means you can drive in 4H on a high traction surface, which is excellent on a steep driveway, or in the wet, or on a good dirt road. And then, if things get really slippery, you just turn the knob and lock the centre diff. This is a brilliant differentiating feature that most competing utes cannot match. And let’s not forget Triton is $12k - or thereabouts - cheaper than a Ranger Wildtrak. However, like all utes, Triton does feel somewhat tractor-like in comparison to a nice, smooth, nimble Subaru XV, and the footprint is considerably larger - longer. But utes often are not as practical as the pre-purchase fantasy might suggest. Like, for normal domestic duties, such as grocery shopping … where exactly do the groceries go, with the kids and hubby on board? Ute trays - very hard on the eggs. Unless you want them pre-scrambled. The roll-top is great for added security, but the height limitation is absolute. Bikes can of course go in the tray, or on a towball-mounted carrier. It’s dead easy to fit a roof rack on a dual cab, and mount the kayaks on that. Still, despite the default Shitsville ute infatuation, a Pajero Sport might be better as a family all-rounder. Certainly I’d get a Pajero Sport over a Pajero - given Pajero is as old as me, from a geriatric point of view. (An’d I’m pretty fuckin’ old.) Pajero Sport is - essentially - a Triton ute, re-engineered with a wagon body, plus an eight-speed auto and a coil-sprung rear (both for added refinement). To me, Landcruiser 200 is not that much of an upgrade, in practical terms. Valerie has already built in more than enough operational safety margin for towing with either Bits-o-shitty. Twenty-something per cent (worst case) is an adequate safety margin. To me, buying a Landcruiser 200 means spending double the cash for 400 kilos of extra tow capacity which will never be needed.
10/22/2020 • 13 minutes, 40 seconds
Essential guide to 4WD tyre pressures and basic off-road driving
Best tyre pressures and operating guidelines for maximising mobility for people starting out with 4X4 driving - complete with the underlying beer garden physics of 'why' these recommendations matter.
If you don't have time for the full version:
Placard + 10% for highway and good dirt.
Placard -10-15% for poor gravel roads with tread fracture risk
25psi for general low-range off-road driving
16psi for soft sand and mud
12psi as a last-ditch resort to get out of a really boggy situation
These recommendations only apply to standard-ish tyre sizes (not those absurd 35-inch tyres you see, from time to time, on heavily modded 4WDs).
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10/20/2020 • 44 minutes, 10 seconds
Epic Automotive Livestream Q&A - answering your questions live (episode 1)
This video is my first-ever livestream on the channel - epic Q&A session driven mainly by tsunami of questions from you.
Thank you very much for joining me live in the chat!
More livestreams every Thursday night @ 8:30pm (Sydney time, 'Straya!)
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10/15/2020 • 1 hour, 29 minutes, 38 seconds
Basic safe 4WD recovery rules
Talked about hard and soft shackles for 4WD recovery yesterday, and it struck me that I was probably doing humanity a disservice overall by not first establishing some general guidelines for recovery.
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The worst designed, least reliable and most dangerous component in off-road recovery is of course the human being. People die during recovery. They get hit by projectiles. They get sliced open by cables. They get crushed by vehicles which drive over them when they run away under gravity after being freed, and nobody thought that far ahead. So there is quite a serious dimension to this off-road F-U-N. TRAINING It’s a dud idea to figure out recovery for yourself. Like, lesson one, teach yourself recovery the first time you get the vehicle stuck in some preposterously precarious position. Just look confident and make it up, right? You’re kidding - that might work in a job interview; not here. Instead, do a course with a bunch of like-minded individuals. [SUPER: BYSTANDERS] Do I really need to say it? Recovery is not a spectator sport. Anyone not actually un-sticking a stuck vehicle - minimum safe lateral separation: 30 metres. A winch cable cannot attempt to amputate your arm or your leg if you are further away from it, than it is long. If you’re not actively recovering, get out of the way - especially kids, whom a responsible adult should mind. And don’t go downhill from the problem, because that’s generally where a runaway vehicle will go. Don’t rush Like, as soon as you get stuck, anywhere, wind it back to 50 per cent on the playback speed. Rushing is generally counterproductive and dangerous. You’re bogged in a 4WD near Dingo Piss Creek. You have not been engaged by a Taliban sniper. If you rush, you will only open the door to disaster. BIN IT While we’re at it, throw away any damaged gear. Winch cable with a busted strand - just bin it. Snatch strap, tree strap - any sling with a gouge out of it, or substantially abraded - time for a new one, dude. We’re gunna assume for the rest of this chat that your gear is in good order. If it’s not, then the risks are potentially through the roof. MINIMISE LOADS Keep the loads low. Recovery is a ballad best played in the lowest of low keys. Low key. Low tempo. Do a bit of shovelling. Free up that chassis rail. Break out the jack - put some packing under that low-hanging wheel (whatever). Lift things up first, to (literally) take a load off. Let’s not be letting the winch or the snatch strap do all the work. Speaking of which, on the snatch strap front. Low key, dude. Low key. It’s not a drag race. It’s a gentle pull. Snatch straps are not ballistic devices. You do not want that. You really are trying to minimise the opportunity for the creation of a potentially dangerous situation. THINK AHEAD What are you going to do when the vehicle gets free? Can it run away? If so, best get in it, or get someone reliable in it so they can stop it safely … before, perhaps, it rolls into you and crushes you against a 100-year-old gum tree. Like, we’re all gunna die. I get that. But I vote heavily for not like that.
10/14/2020 • 11 minutes
CarAdvice is dead - officially cancelled by Channel 9
Leading Australian automotive website CarAdvice is to be boned - by its adoptive parents, Channel Nine. CarAdvice will go under the bus directly, but a phoenix will rise.
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Nine has owned CarAdvice outright for a couple of years. The acquisition cost them sixty-something million dollars. In the meantime, Fairfax and Nine merged, essentially because the Federal Government wouldn’t acknowledge a bad idea if it jumped up and bit them. The merger - and, let’s face it, Nine is on top - the merger meant Nine inherited the red-haired bastard stepchild of motoring, Drive.com.au Nobody wanted that kid, but somebody had to take care of it. And by ‘take care of it’ I mean lock it in the basement and get the kids at CarAdvice to pretend that they’re also Drive, by hastily re-purposing CarAdvice content. Not to say ‘I told you so’. But: I told you so. Back when the founders walked out, about a year ago. I think there was a disagreement of sorts. That’s the sense I got of it. They thought the new management were dicks - something of that nature, anyway. So the big cocks - Alborz and Tony - and the comparatively little cock (vis-a-vis CarAdvice founder-hood relativity) Paul, just walked out the door. Like that - bye. It’s been emotional. That hammering you heard back then, which you thought was the neighbours erecting an unauthorised deck in the backyard? It was really the coffin nails going in, at CarAdvice. Hilariously, this is taking place even though CarAdvice has nine times more web traffic than Drive. A bold - some would say ‘contrarian’ - move. Drive’s mission, of course, is to get you to engage with its online chat centre in the Philippines, so that you give them your contact details and they can slut you out to the nearest new car dealer for $60 a pop, under the table. Like, that’s the business model… ...which would be arbitrage, of sorts, except they’re not paying you for your details. You’re giving it away, free, and getting nothing back (except a call from a red hot car sales dude whose objective is to gut you and fillet you after convincing you to attend the abattoir in which he works), with Nine copping a reach-around in the process. Does that seem like a good deal for you? I love this industry. Always so entertaining. Except if your neck is on the block at CarAdvice, of course. Requiescat in pace, CarAdvice, your formerly un-fuckable licence to print money has been Nined.
10/14/2020 • 15 minutes, 14 seconds
4X4 steel shackle Vs soft shackle for recovery - the definitive guide to safe usage
Soft shackle versus hard (steel) shackle for 4x4 recovery operations: Which shackle do you use, and where to you use them to maximise safety and reliability? The definitive guide.
14.7 tonne Saber soft shackle from Sparesbox: http://bit.ly/14softshackle
17 tonne Saber soft shackle from Sparesbox: http://bit.ly/17softshackle
4.75 steel bow shackle from Sparesbox: http://bit.ly/bowshackle
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There’s two parts to this, right? First - the part about relative positives and negatives. Second - the part about myth-busting the bullshit of 4WD recovery. There’s a lot of that. See, shackles and other items - wire rope in winches, slings … things of that nature - are generally adapted from the hoisting industry (you know, cranes and such)... ...and the parts have been cobbled together to form a system for off-road recovery, which (kinda) works. If you take a shackle and a sling and a wire rope hoist and a hook, maybe a snatch block, you’re essentially looking at the load-bearing parts of a winch recovery. And the way the numbers work, the way they are presented to you, and the bullshit claims made about some of the parts in particular - especially winches - the former Soviet Union bureaucracy couldn't do a worse job, frankly. This is compounded by never really knowing what the actual loads are. See, if you want to put a tank under a giant crane, one generally knows exactly how much it weighs, and one can then put a hoisting package together so that the working load limit of each component is not exceeded. Recovery is not like that - there’s generally no way of knowing the loads. It’s all quite confusing, frankly, if you don’t have engineering training or work in industry. So I’m gunna unpack some of that right now - the beer-garden physics of recovery. For this report I got my Saber soft shackle from Sparesbox. About $60 - link in the description. I had a bunch of steel shackles lying around already. Who doesn’t? Steel shackles last (statistically) for eternity, which is almost as long as it’s been since I’ve had ‘it’ thrown at me with at least vestigial enthusiasm. Links to the hard and soft shackles from Sparesbox, in the description. Full disclosure there: I’ll get a small commission if you purchase using those links. Sparesbox is a good, reliable operation based in Sydney - but they’re not sponsoring this episode. I bought the soft shackle myself, and this report is my honest personal opinion.
10/13/2020 • 43 minutes, 36 seconds
On buying a Land Rover Defender in 2021 (What it may say about you.)
In a parallel universe there’s a Defender designed by Land Rover but R&D-ed and sold by Toyota - and it is the perfect off-roader.
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The new Defender is certainly not the old one - it’s lost the whole ‘hose out’ utilitarian thing. Ergonomics and safety - vastly improved. Obviously. But - just look at the specs - it remains a proper weapon off road: The angles. The wading depth - 900mm #respect. Terrain response - yesssss! Awesome system. You can put 168 kilos on the roof - #FFS - and it’s a monocoque. There’s like 900 kilos of payload, and an 85-litre fuel tank. So, a potentially compelling tourer also. It’s bloody expensive though. Like, if you want to throw $170 grand at a Defender in 2021, step right up, dude. The range-topping 3.0-litre turbo petrol straight six … I think they call it a P400 X is about $148k drive-away - but if you want to add third row seating ($3400) a front jump seat ($1900), the cold climate pack ($1500) orange painted recovery points ($800), satin protective film ($6500), tow pack with the eye cover ($2500), three-zone climate air ($2400), solar-shield windscreen and privacy glass ($1400), roof rails ($900 - they couldn’t even throw them in, the cheap bastards), and maybe you want to go the ‘full pimp’ and add 22-inch alloys - that'll be $3600 (they’ll be shit off-road though, and good luck getting a replacement 22-inch tyre in Dingo Piss Creek). So - we just spent hypothetically $25,000 in options, and (ladies and gentlemen) there’s your $170,000 Land Rover Defender. [SIGHS] And a complimentary divorce from reality. They throw that in, free, if you tick every box. It’s literally the least they could do. $170 grand is a fully-loaded 200 Series LandCruiser Sahara - and no need to tow an acoustically transparent aluminium shitter from this busted-arse salt-pan to the next one, because you’ve got $35,000 left over to spend on four- and five-star accommodation inclusive of a water-closet more than two feet from the dining table. Yesssssss! You caravaners and your 3.5-tonne porta-potties. Just saying. Defender is kinda big, too - like, it’s just over an inch longer than a 200 Series, meaning it’s only 10cm shorter than a Kia Carnival - but 21 centimetres taller (than the Carnival) .It’s about an inch taller than ‘Cruiser, and it craps all over the ‘Cruiser’s approach and departure angles, and offers 200mm more wading depth. Three and a half tonne tow capacity (but only 150 kilos on the towball - that’s a joke). They’re suggesting you can tow 3500 kilos and carry 900 kilos of payload - of which 168 kilos could go on the roof. That’s insane - like, properly insane. As in, worst idea ever. To me, new Defender is nothing like old Defender. Except perhaps in turning circle, which remains atrocious. They’ve recycled the badge to get more people across the line - Defender tragics, basically. But new Defender is really what Discovery used to be. And Discovery today is what Range Rover was. And Range Rover today is what Maybach would be - if Land Rover had a brand specifically devoted to even richer, more enthusiastic wankers. Like Daimler does.
10/9/2020 • 19 minutes, 58 seconds
Mitsubishi's 10yr warranty: Worst idea ever (& here's why)
This new Mitsubishi 10-year warranty … let’s just say, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, good thing we didn’t step in it. Worst new car warranty ever.
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Here’s my biggest problem with the Bits-o-shitty 10-year bullshit warranty proposal: Let’s say your transmission just crapped out at 120,000 kilometres, eight years in. And it’s not on you. You go back to Mitsubishi. They say: ‘Well, three years ago you had your car serviced independently - so you’re not covered. That’ll be $14,000.’ This proposed warranty will inevitably be used like this in the service department as a trigger to brush you, and profiteer from it. It’ll seem legitimate, too - like, it’s there in black and white. Warranty is completely separate from the legislated Consumer Guarantees, about which there is absolutely nothing optional. Your warranty might be burned, but the requirements of consumer law compliance - the obligation upon Bits-o-shitty to provide you with a remedy - absolutely still exists. But consumers have to be informed enough to know that, and not all consumers are. So, in the future, I have no doubt that this warranty will be used as a device to deny legitimate consumer law claims. Tragically, not all consumers will know that they can push back - legitimately - and make a claim under Australian Consumer Law. Some of them will cop it on the chin, and (call me an old cynic) but I think this is Mitsubishi’s real objective here. Look like warranty heroes, while acting like warranty bastards. Disgraceful. It’s a huge pity Mitsubishi didn’t just bite the bullet and align the new warranty with the requirements of consumer law, thus ascending uninjured to the summit of Warranty Mountain here in ‘Straya, and spruik the crap out of it - Shitsville’s best warranty - because that would have been a real good news story. If they want to get more owners servicing their cars at the dealer, then just make that a commercially compelling proposition instead of the hateful, expensive and borderline bullying experience it often is in dealerships today. If Mitsubishi wants to shift more genuine parts - price them competitively. After all, they’re buying them in bulk. The extortionate pricing of genuine parts - industry-wide - is simply indefensible. So, they come up with these cartel-like strategies to coerce consumers into bending over, while the ACCC sleeps. Unfortunately, as things stand, this 10-year warranty is just a grubby grab for more business and an attempt to dilute consumer law claims in the 5-10-year term. That’s how it seems to me. I don’t think there’s any guarantee the ACCC will wake up to quash this, but I certainly hope they veto the genuine servicing requirement. Dangerous, anti-consumer precedent. You might choose to put your objection in writing on the ACCC’s online contact form. (Link above). If the ACCC gets sufficient informed blow-back from you, it might help turn this anti-consumer tide and force Bits-o-shitty back to the boardroom, where they might choose to un-arsehole themselves and offer you a 10-year warranty without the free handcuffs.
10/8/2020 • 13 minutes, 29 seconds
The truth about inlet carbon deposits (sludge) in modern engines
The truth about carbon deposits in modern engines. Details next.
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With direct injection, a fuel injector sits inside the combustion chamber. It injects fuel directly into the chamber, at exactly the right time, with the valves closed, hence the name. Injection directly into the chamber. Fuel is thus completely separate from the inlet air system. In the older, port-style fuel injection system, a far less hi-tech injector was located in the inlet port, right on top of the inlet valve. (This tended to wash the valve - by spraying the valve more or less continuously with fuel, which is a powerful solvent. But it was a fairly wasteful and imprecise way of delivering fuel.) So, with direct injection, only air goes into the inlet system. Crankcase vapours are also sucked in (via the PCV system - for ‘positive crankcase ventilation’), and some exhaust gas is recirculated (that’s called ‘EGR’ - exhaust gas recirculation). Although they are coarsely filtered, crankcase vapours tend to be a bit oily, and recirculated exhaust gas can be a bit hot (even though it’s water-cooled). So, if you mix the oily vapours and the hot EGR, you can burn the oily vapours to carbon and give the inlet manifold and ports the equivalent of atherosclerosis. This happens a lot if the EGR or PCV systems are defective or badly designed - so premature profound carbonisation is often symptomatic of a problem with PCV or EGR. If you don’t drive on the open road much (for about an hour a fortnight, ballpark) your engine oil gets pretty contaminated. This is due to the hi-tech miracle of blow-by. The PCV vapours get a bit filthier than usual when the oil is contaminated, and this can lead to the formation of significant oily, sooty deposits in the inlet tract, which is a good idea to clean up before it gets serious and impacts engine performance. It’s a problem mainly for engines that do only short trips and lots of cold starts. The EGR tends to bake it on - but, frankly, this tends to be more profound on a diesel, which does a lot more volume of EGR as a proportion of total operational flow. Going for a long drive every few months is insufficient to purify the oil. The open-road driving has to be reasonably regular. To be clear - the highway driving doesn’t clean up any contamination already in the inlet plumbing. Once it’s there, it’s there. If it’s there and serious enough, you need to get it cleaned away mechanically - if the degree of contamination is likely to affect engine operation. The purpose of the highway driving is: it purifies the engine oil and thus prevents the deposits from forming. That highway-style lean burning and sustained full operating temperature evaporates off all the water and the volatile components of unburned fuel, which exit via the PCV. If you’re not going to do regular highway driving, get your oil changed more often - say twice a year - but still try to get out on the highway as often as you can. 30-60 minutes routinely is a good target.
10/7/2020 • 9 minutes, 21 seconds
Mercedes fails 'customer care' test over the COMAND online system - again
How much is your silence worth? Could Mercedes-Benz buy yours for $500? Or would you leak evidence of their frankly grubby behaviour to someone such as me? In this report, let’s see what’s behind door number two.
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Philip Lakic made a mistake in 2017. He bought a Mercedes-Benz A-Class. No - I don’t know why either. It’s kinda like getting hitched on the spur of the moment, in Las Vegas. This story is like a fling with Tiffany from the office. Everything was new and exciting for a little while, and then Three-pronged suppository Death Star management turned off their outdated Windows-based connectivity tech, which they had talked up heavily in the brochure, calling it COMMAND Online. “I thought you might be interested in an update from Mercedes-Benz Australia Pacific RE COMAND Online MB Apps failures. I submitted a letter of demand for a fix or a refund, which was not met (surprise), but did get back this pitiful letter of offer from MBAuP, which I rejected.” - Philip Lakic I cannot be the only person here seeing the massive disconnect between the company’s position publicly, and the one taking place under the table, metaphorically. And let’s not forget that Mr Lakic’s A-Class is only three years old. It’s hardly a relic. I am also - frankly - gobsmacked that Daimler and Microsoft (two of the world’s biggest corporations) were unwilling to get together and come up with a wireless browsing system that would endure for - I dunno - 10 years of operation. I’m further gobsmacked that their disregard for current owners is so profound that they simply couldn’t be arsed coming up with a patch for this problem. Last word here to Mr Lakic: "I will now start pursuing a course of action through the ACCC and if that fails, I'll have to start lining some lawyer's pockets. I truly expected more from Mercedes-Benz as our family bought three AMG vehicles which were collectively worth approximately $300k when bought new." "I had to experience that Mercedes-Benz customer service feeling for myself, before I truly realised how shit Mercedes-Benz really are. In the end you were right. I wish you weren't, but you are. I should have bought a BMW. I hope that your YouTube channel serves to educate more people on the practices of brands within the Australian Car industry." I did not elicit that commentary from Mr Lakic - it just lobbed without warning in my inbox, as these things often do. I did not go trawling for endorsement, nor did I seek brand-trashing experiences upon which to get my rocks off. I do not recommend Mercedes-Benz, and Mr Lakic’s unsolicited experience is emblematic of why. Buying Mercedes-Benz is like entering into a dysfunctional relationship with a profound power imbalance. It seems to me that Mercedes-Benz customers - at least in Australia - care somewhat more about the brand than the brand fundamentally cares about them.
10/6/2020 • 15 minutes, 3 seconds
Car industry update, Octover 2020 - i30 N DCT & BT-50 pricing, plus more
Critical automotive industry update, ‘Straya. October 2020. Year of the Weasel. Details next.
In this report:
Alfa Romeo updates Guilia for 2021
The plan to resurrect Wheels and Motor magazines
New BT-50 pricing announced
Hyundai i30 N DCT launch timing for Oz
Jaguar interiors made from landfill
500,000 Nissan Leafs roll off the line
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Mazda has announced pricing for the new BT-50. BT-50 is of course the somewhat effeminate clone of the new Isuzu D-MAX. Built in the same factory, etc. BT-50 kicks off at $42,090 for the XT dual-cab chassis base-model and extends to $59,990 for the GT, which is about $3000 less than the top-spec D-MAX.
Hyundai - industriously taking geologic time to launch the 8-speed dual clutch version of a car for which I have enduring mad love: The Golf GTI-killing i30 N. Total weapon. The Fastback - so sexy. I30 N is seriously popular on this channel - 550,000 views across five videos, and counting. It’s one of the most popular performance car buying enquiries I get as well. And I can tell you the most popular impediment to buying one is - manual only. Typically the prospective owner has a partner, and said partner either can’t or won’t drive a manual - so, game over. The dual-clutch is the solution - due for local launch (finally) in the first half of 2021 here in Shitsville. Pro tip - have fun test driving this car, obviously, when you can. (Safely.) But don’t just test-drive it like you stole it. The DCT is gunna be awesome at that - it’s a done deal. DCTs are all excellent when you’re up them for the rent. Do as much test-driving as possible at low speeds - three-point turns, reverse-parking off a hill-start. Stuff like that. This is typically what DCTs are bad at. But if the new 8sp DCT in Sorento is anything to go by (and I don’t know how closely they are related, but probably quite a bit) you just might be pleasantly surprised. They’re also talking up the new lightweight seats - but I’d suggest that’s BS. They’re only 2.2 kilos lighter, and it’s a reduction in the sprung mass. So there’s that... The forged 19-inch alloys are probably more relevant - 14 kilos less in total, and all off the unsprung mass. Bigger brakes too. Not that it really needed that - they were already fairly death-proof. I did try to kill them, and I failed.
10/5/2020 • 22 minutes, 3 seconds
How ANCAP dropped the ball on ordinary car-buying consumers
After a lengthy search, they have just appointed a fully qualified volleyball referee. I know that sounds like a joke - the pope and a volleyball referee crash into a bar, AND… - but unfortunately, it’s not.
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ANCAP - the Shitsvillian and Sheepshaggistani New Car Assessment Program - appears to me increasingly to be doing you, out there in Consumerville, a disservice. These are the dudes who persevere with publicising (for example) Volkswagen’s alleged five-star safety rating with Amarok. I just went to the ANCAP website this morning and checked. Searched ‘Volkswagen Amarok - current models only’. The result: five stars. This vehicle has not been tested for nine long years. Nine. ‘Current models only’ - please. Amarok, of course, lacks airbags for row 2 occupants, among other critical safety omissions. So it would be kinda lucky to get three stars if tested today. Basically, you might survive getting gently T-boned in your allegedly five-star Amarok, but things aren’t so certain for the kids in the back… Would it not be a great pity if a tragedy such as that occurred after you had concluded that your Argentinain Volkswagen shitheap was ‘safe enough for the fam’ after cursory interrogation of the ANCAP website, as part of your pre-purchasing research? I think that would be a real shame, not to mention a gross consumer disservice. In 2016, four years before now, and five years after ANCAP awarded Amarok five stars, the Volkswagen Death Star launched the popular V6 Amarok. At the launch, James Ward from CarAdvice asked Dr Jan Michel - who is some wonky Volkswegian international sales dude - about the still absent Amarok row two airbags: “We are working on it.” - Dr Jan Michel, Invernational Sales Director, VW Commercial They’re still working on it, four years later, apparently. Because: Still absent. So, well done there, on the management of a five-star safety rating, and the community dissemination thereof. ANCAP will retort, of course, look at the date, dude, but to understand that, a consumer would then need to understand the temporal and physical context of the evolution of the safety ratings system. And, look at the typical YouTube comments feed: Many consumers are incapable of that. This is ANCAP’s inherent dysfunctionality, in my view. The burden of understanding not all five-star ratings are equivalent should not be imposed upon ordinary people. Because not all of them can handle the truth. Old five-star ratings are meaningless, basically. ANCAP, or course, lacks the budget and other resources to maintain a current ratings system, and today’s hodge-podge of retrospectively irrelevant ratings is systematically vulnerable to consumer misinterpretation (personal opinion). ANCAP is also somewhat responsible for your next new car being so profoundly annoying. All those safety systems, warning you about all those nonexistent threats, incessantly. That’s a direct consequence of carmakers humping ANCAP’s leg like the dog that’s just gotten into the Viagra, so they can get five stars (not the dog - he doesn’t want five stars - the carmaker - pro tip).
10/2/2020 • 16 minutes, 57 seconds
Responding to your recent (somewhat nutty) critical feedback
Time for some long overdue uplifting, and constructively critical commentary from you. In other words, let us cross the border and enter the Nutbag City Limits - yessssssssss!
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Now look, I’m not above criticism. And that’s how you’ve gotta be on YouTube, because the comments feed is something of a cesspit. But, frankly, I just haven’t been getting the hate I deserve lately. And I blame you. Only one video in my past 30 sits below 90 per cent likes. And it’s at 89.8 - so it’s only technically hated. Where have all the haters gone? Now, the glace cherry on the icing of the nutty cake today, allegedly from the Grand Cherokee Owners’ Club of Shitsville Facebook page, from a dude I’ll call, simply ‘Trev’: “The guys an absolute flog with an agenda” - Trev. Goodness - I think he means me. My recent ‘Jeep/don’t buy’ report the other day: 97.3 per cent likes to dislikes. Trev was probably one of the 2.7 per cent. I do enjoy ‘absolute flog’ status these days - that’s quite true. Lifetime platinum, double diamond advantage flog. It’s awesome - straight into the Chairman’s Lounge at Club Flog. And yet, for so much of my life I was only a partial flog. And not for want of trying. But then I got ‘Dickhead Pro’ and my life changed. I went properly ‘next level’. I decided to become your next Pry Mincer and Make Australia Less Shit. It’s certainly audacious. But, together, I know we can do this. And let’s face it, ‘absolute flog’ is the minimum accepted qualification to be Pry Mincer these days. That’s in the constitution. You can tell I am qualified from my Linkedin profile, which I updated this morning, the better to reflect Trev’s assessment of my Pry Minsterial suitability. Clearly I do have an agenda, which I enthusiastically prosecute: To prevent as many people as possible from buying badly supported shitheaps. And I do find Grand Cherokee in particular so disappointing - because it looks so good and goes so well, and is so capable across a breadth of operating conditions, and the price is so right, frnkly. Pity about the reliability, the ownership cost, and (of course) the emphatically crap support. Trev, of course, was unfinished in the domain of critical assessment. He was on a roll: “I bet he hasn’t owned or even driven a Jeep … the only thing he drives is a b*tt plug all the way up.” - Trev. Trev, mate … I generally prefer dinner and a few drinks before we go for the plug. Perhaps we could pre-emptively discuss current events and have a few laughs. Get out on the dance floor. Sing some karaoke. Get to know one another first. There are social conventions here mate. Still, I do rather look forward to hosting the annual Grand Cherokee Owners’ Club of Shitsville convention to be held this year (at my suggestion) at iconic Sydney kink dungeon, Temple 22, where I sincerely hope Grand Cherokee club members will get a different taste of pain and denial - at a somewhat lower cost, and without the public humiliation they are so used to. So that’s nice. The late, great Chrissy Amphlett, of course, sang the haunting ballad of the Jeep owner, entitled so memorably: ‘I touch Myself’. And in Ms Amphlett’s own words, in respect of Jeep ownership, I think it’s fair to say there’s a fine, fine line between pleasure and pain.
9/30/2020 • 11 minutes, 54 seconds
New Isuzu D-MAX & Mazda BT-50 - How to save thousands now
New D-MAX. New BT-50. So exciting - but (of course) fools rush in where angels fear to tread. So, here’s how you can save thousands on these newly-released vehicles.
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New D-MAX and BT-50 utes. Impossibly stimulating. Finally here, kind of. The bogan horde is strapping on their best blue singlets and doing little wees in their Bisley work trousers and Tradie Lady underwear - such is the ambient level of excitement when not one but two new shitbox utes are deployed after more than a decade of Joan Rivers-inspired facelifts upon facelifts upon facelifts upon facelifts, seemingly without end. VO G’day John, long time YouTube watcher first time query. I am seriously looking at the 2021 Isuzu D-max and I have found that there are none to be had. It seems that every man and his dog wants one, and I am being told that the delivery date at this stage is January next year. I realise that, that is the way that it is, but with an order and wait type scenario, and the massive amount of people wanting them, is there still a way for you to get them cheaper than the current $58,990 drive away price? I don’t want to waste your time and effort, cause, you know time and money. Whadayareckon? - Andrew Been getting a lot of this. Such a classic - it’s, like, how to do this wrong. Do not order and wait, if you want to save thousands. Pull yourself back from the brink. Never order and wait. Just wait, then order, when the car is in stock. Isuzu dealers are frothing at the mouth, and perhaps other orifices, because of latent demand in the market. Buyers queueing up, over the horizon. It seems everyone is dead keen to get out of their old shitbox D-MAX and into an all-new shitbox D-MAX. Demand has swamped supply. And don’t the dealers love it. My strong advice to Andrew - and perhaps you, if you are caught up in ‘D-MAX fever’ - is just to chill out. Do not pay a deposit. Do not sign a contract. Just wait, dude. Wait until January - it’s just a few more lockdowns and endless weeks of bushfires, and a fortnight of tolerating her family over Christmas. That’s nothing. You’re match fit here. You can do this. If you go to a dealership now, and commit, you will pay the full freight, and you will be locked in. If it emerges, between now and delivery, that there are unexpected problems with the new D-MAX, it will cost you thousands to back out. So just wait. Be a spectator. Halfway through January you might be pleasantly surprised. The first wave of D-MAX delusion might be over by then, and dealers might have unallocated stock on the showroom floor - which is exactly what you want, if you want them to drop their trousers (commercially). And, trust me, nothing is nicer than the sound of a car dealer's trousers hitting the floor - I think you’d agree. There is no advantage to you - that I can see - to joining the party of imbeciles eager to pay the full freight, lock themselves in at a high price, and queue up and wait.
9/30/2020 • 10 minutes, 50 seconds
Should you consider buying a Jeep in 2020 or 2021?
Pro tip: Let someone else be the lab rat in the mad experiment on car ownership risk. Details next.
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Jeep Shitsville says it’s redressing its former customer crap-ness, which was inspired by Idi Amin, by increasing warranty, adding capped price servicing and lifetime roadside assist, reducing parts costs, increasing tech support, and moving customer care onshore. Problem is: None of these things affects reliability. Poor reliability stems from under-done R&D. It’s like, bad design plus crap implementation equals poor reliability. Longer warranty doesn’t change that. But reliability is only half of the customer satisfaction equation. Being dealt with fairly and expeditiously when you have a problem is the other half. No evidence yet that I’ve seen - on moving the needle there, away from ‘Idi Amin’ and towards ‘Nelson Mandella’ on that. Cultural change is very hard. Especially when you’ve got one organisation importing the product and separate businesses selling it, and they’re currently not profitable. Selling Jeeps cannot be profitable at the moment. My standard advice to would-be Jeep Buyers is: If you are truly committed to being a lab rat in this experiment, contact your friendly neighbourhood psychiatrist. Wait for some evidence before dropping the big bucks on an enduring bad idea. When you’re out there asking people their opinion, the needle moves all over the spectrum. Very confusing. "Just wanted some advice on this vehicle. A lot of people say not to buy and others say it’s a good car. I have heard Jeep has a bad reputation of reliability and service but I would just like to hear your thoughts on his please. Thank you, - Linda Let’s say you’re out there, researching a new car, asking people you know about their experiences. Everyone you ask seems to be representing their honestly held view, and yet these are often deeply polarised and seemingly irreconcilable with other people’s accounts. Jeep cannot be both stellar and also Satan in a Suit. And yet, owners you ask will vote either way. It’s very confusing for the would-be owner, like Linda. Most people considering these dud brands … they kinda know (or they strongly suspect) that it’s a bad idea. But they are also emotionally enamoured. The gravitational pull of a brand can be quite strong. And yet, the stories of under-done engineering and malevolent customer support are too prolific and credible to ignore completely. But these act on a different part of the brain. The attraction goes straight to the id, whereas the part that screams ‘bad idea’ hits you in the intellect. It’s a conflicted state, and because you know what you want, confirmation bias is so insidious: so perhaps you look for, and find, that dude who thrashed his Grand Cherokee for 300,000 kilometres and it was bulletproof. Despite never being serviced and all attempts to break it. So - there’s your evidence. Justification. Whatever. If you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail - that’s confirmation bias. The real problem here is metadata, and bad conclusions. Almost everyone takes their own personal experience of one vehicle, and they extrapolate it up to the brand. That’s the problem.
9/28/2020 • 16 minutes, 31 seconds
New 2021 Hyundai Tucson: Should you buy one?
This is my first look at the new Hyundai Tucson, due to go on sale late in the first half of 2021. It's a pre-production model, for visual display only.
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A heavy commercial burden attaches to Tucson. It’s Hyundai’s top-selling model, totalling seven million units in traffic so far. That’s since 2004. Seven million - so if you parked them all nose-to-tail they would encircle the earth. That’s a lot of Tucsons. Roughly one for every resident of Arizona. And this one is the 4th Generation - it’s a little bigger but, frankly, a lot more polished. Just don’t be breath-holding on this. Not yet. Today’s just a pricktease, of sorts. We won’t get this new Tucson in Shitsville until late in the first half of 2021. Of course, the principal design challenge with all new models is instantly to make the outgoing one look just a little bit crap - because nothing motivates an otherwise happy owner to upgrade more than an injection of new hotness on the showroom floor. Just gotta have it mate. And in this respect, I think they’ve knocked it out of the park. It’s definitely a head-turner. And it makes the outgoing one instantly obsolete. Apparently there’s that new CVVD technology as well - the continuously variable valve duration thingo, which is quite clever because it improves combustion efficiency across a range of operating conditions and punts fuel economy to the next level without compromising refinement or power delivery. So that’s quite a neat thermodynamics hack. You can expect the full safety suite with new Tucson, which is to say: top-shelf crashworthiness - including, probably, that new headbutt-preventing centre airbag between the seats at the front, plus (sadly) all of the borderline annoying, false-positive-overdosed crash prevention stuff, which is there principally to hump ANCAP’s leg so enthusiastically, in pursuit of five stars. All the carmakers are doing this lately, not just Hyundai. An unfortunate and annoying sign of the times. The interior is rather gorgeous. The exterior is edgy. Not everyone’s gunna be infatuated with the sharp angles. So, basically, I think new Tucson, when it lobs, is going to make some competitors - notably X-TRAIL, CR-V, RAV4, maybe even CX-5, and certainly Sportage - look old. It’s a super-competitive segment, so they’ll need to be sharp with the price. But if you’re in the market for a five-seat SUV and you’re not up against the pressure of time, I’d give it four or five months. Because this is a segment disruptor right here. I’ll keep you posted when I know more.
9/27/2020 • 19 minutes, 13 seconds
Best automotive industry job ever - available now!
Are you stuck in a dead-end job, on lockdown, during COVID-19? I just found the perfect automotive industry job for you. And me. It’s perfect.
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The Feral Chamber of Automotive Industries - the Coca-Cola of anti-consumer lobby groups in Cannnnnnnnnnnn-bruh, which specialises in championing the car industry’s grubbier objectives in front of those fact-resistant politicians, is seeking a director of evil policy and underhanded advocacy. I could do that. So could you. Piece of piss mate. ‘Straya! You just know an organisation is getting a bit top-heavy when it needs one of those policy and advocacy directors. Policy Dude for the Galactic Empire looks quite good on Linkedin. I know this because I changed my profile to reflect that, this morning, in anticipation of actually getting the gig. It would be the chance to work with people who you find invariably entertaining and interesting - and you can’t say that about every job. I’m looking at you, chicken processing plant. You should apply too. Like, let’s make this a fair fight. (Getting the gig.) Properly Darwinian. Gloves off. Seconds out. No holds barred. However, in truth, I fear Ronald McDonald could do this job. It’s all fairly predictable stuff, attribute-wise. “...dynamic self starter” (like, hey, I got up at the crack of 11, on a Friday morning. Without a cattle prod.) … “capable of influencing policy direction at the highest level” (shit, yeah) … “recognised expertise in the important areas of government relations and policy influencing” … (Look, if you know how to pay for the long lunches and the … let’s call them … personal assistants, what else is there? It’s just basic lobbying stuff.) “Mentors and develops subordinate staff” … very important to inculcate a small, faithful clutch of unquestioningly loyal underlings who are dead keen to get ahead but also just dumb enough to believe in you … like, Goldilocks dumb - especially if you’re working in the kind of cesspit where some lackey might need to go under the bus at short notice. It’s always better if you can sell it to them, and they go willingly. ‘This is a real opportunity for you,’ kind of thing. (This happens a lot in TV.) “Serious contenders.” (Easter Island face, on the job, mate. That’s me, clearly.) “Capacity to work autonomously.” (It’s 2020 - don’t we all?) “AND under the broad direction of the CEO.” Hmmmmmmm - I think that’s currently the boss of Toyota. It’s hard to keep up. That revolving door. Anyway, he loves me, (the CEO) especially after that piece I did alerting Toyota to the problem they were having with their 2.8 diesels all seemingly going poopy in their trousers so prolifically, nationwide. I think the Galactic Emperor really appreciated the deeply respectful ‘heads-up’, from me, on that. It’d be great for he and I to work closely again like that. I’d love it. Just like Fred Astair and Ginger Rogers, only (of course) I get to be Fred, and he can be the one doing everything backwards, wearing heels.
9/25/2020 • 15 minutes, 35 seconds
The car industry: Emphatically terrible at customer care
Why is the car industry so emphatically, notoriously crap at customer care? These things are expensive. In a sane universe, you’d expect this industry to be better at looking after you.
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Only the car industry could retrofit the term ‘care’ to mean, in practice: ‘Not only not to give a shit about someone who spent a lot of money here, but also to take every opportunity to violate that person financially.’ I got an e-mail from a dude named Jay Merola. Mr Merola owns a 2012 Mazda CX-9 with 109,000km on the clock. So - slightly below average kays. It developed what he calls a (quote) “small transmission kickdown issue from 5th to 4th”. So he drops it off at the dealership - it’s due for a service anyway - and he picks it up at 5pm, whence he was: “...told by the service staff that the transmission was completely shot and the car needed a new one at a cost of $18k. They recommended not to drive it but if I chose to I would have to sign a waiver. I left it there.” Ouch: Standard service and transmission tweak: That’ll be $18k. And if you want the car back, you must sign this document. Pro tip: It’s your car. You can take it any time. Never be coerced into signing any document in order to collect your own property. If they try that on: Sex and travel, if you know what I mean. "They referred the matter to their locked down Melbourne Death Star leaders [Mazda head office] who basically told them and me that there was no evidence of mechanical failure. So I had the dealer technician expert telling me the transmission was dead vs a keyboard warrior telling me there was no issue. What the???" Nothing like getting your stories straight. Nothing like it. So, just before the Bat Pumpy came out... "After some slightly heated discussions they took the car to an independent local transmission guy who changed the oil, reconfigured the TCU and said she was good to go." What if he had reluctantly just said ‘OK’ and copped the $18k on the chin? Mr Merola says "Dealers are only interested customers as cash cows. Their business model appears to be that a slight mechanical problem needs to be ripped out and completely replaced rather than repaired/serviced. Mazda does not service auto transmissions as part of routine servicing because it adds costs that consumers whinge about and they deem transmission oils as lifetime items - but a lifetime to a dealer is the warranty period. I will never buy another Mazda because the after sales service is rubbish." In a parallel universe, there’s a parallel Jay Merola in a parallel CX-9, and the parallel dealer says: “Look - we need to investigate what’s wrong with you transmission. There’s a safety dimension to this, so here’s a demonstrator CX-9 - take that home for a few days. I’d be interested to see what you think of it, because there’s been a number of enhancements over the past few years. We’ll give you a call when it’s sorted.” In the parallel universe, of course, parallel Mr Merola buys another CX-9, later that week. He tells everyone he knows how awesome Mazda’s aftersales support was, and how amazing his new CX-9 is. He doesn’t get up at 6.30 on a Saturday to vent to Darth Varder’s automotive understudy about how poorly Mazda has treated him. (I get that dealerships are independent businesses, but they fly the flag, and so, to consumers, that distinction is moot, and it’s disingenuous for carmakers to claim this as evidence in mitigation.)
9/22/2020 • 20 minutes, 26 seconds
How to cut new car depreciation in half (dead easy)
How to cut new car depreciation in half. (Dead easy.) Three easy tips in this report are all it takes.
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You buy a new car. It depreciates. It’s like throwing a $50 bill out the window every few days. The truly insidious thing about depreciation is the way it attacks covertly. You don’t pay it to the end, when your knuckles are white and you’re waiting for the sales dude to come back with his trade-in offer. You know you’re about to get bent over, and the question is: ‘How hard? If you had to pay your depreciation once a week, perhaps in cash, at the post office (like, if that was a law) new car sales would plummet over the perceived injustice. So, I’ve got three tips for you that will cut the depreciation you pay in half - inspired by a somewhat disappointed dude named Laurie Howell, who’s one of us. One of you - whatever. "In 2017, partly on the strength of your reviews, we bought a Kia Sorento. It is a wonderful car - silent, economical, packed with features, comfortable and with enough power to do what you want. However, I recently saw an ad for a second-hand Sorento of the same spec and similar kilometres to ours and noted that it was selling at approximately 60% of what ours cost new. A quick check of other ads, and some Googling has revealed that the Sorento has one of the highest depreciation rates around - interestingly exceeded only by the CX-9. "What is behind this high depreciation rate? Has the 7 seater SUV bubble burst? It certainly doesn't seem to be anything about the car itself - in fact if you want a roomy, comfortable SUV, a second hand Sorento or CX9 would have to be a good buy I would think. Also, with such a high depreciation rate ($130 per week by my estimation) would we have been better off leasing the vehicle?" - Laurie Howell We’ll look at the data in detail, but no - no bubble bursting there, with seven-seat SUVs. Used car values are underpinned by supply and demand. In fact there’s a bubble in used cars generally at the moment - COVID-19 has caused many new car supply shortages, and that’s reduced the supply of late-model used cars in the market, because trade-ins are delayed, which has ramped up the value of whatever used cars are available. Also, leasing is not a hedge against depreciation - unless you jump into one of those ‘guaranteed future value’ deals with a manufacturer, and those are often completely extortionate in terms of the other aspects of the finance contract. There’s no free lunch on depreciation, and you cannot beat it with finance. Let’s crunch the numbers in this report.
9/20/2020 • 28 minutes, 21 seconds
Should you buy a big, front-drive SUV or spend more on all-wheel drive?
Are you thinking of buying a big, fat, seven-seat SUV for the family? Maybe saving a few thousand bucks and going for the ‘poverty’ powertrain? These front-drive SUVs - if you tick this box, I fear you might discover the vehicle is just hard to live with, over time.
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When you look at some arbitrary SUV model range - there’s generally a premium powertrain and a poverty powertrain. And you have to pick one. The premium powertrain is often the one with AWD. The poverty powertrain is front-drive, typically. Sometimes there’s a better engine with the AWD - Hyundai and Kia do that. Toyota does not with Kluger - same engine (3.5 V6 atmo petrol) and the distinction there is just AWD for premium or front drive for poverty, with Kluger. Mazda borrows from the Toyota playbook on this for CX-8 and CX-9. CX-8 offers only the 2.2 diesel - in either front-drive or AWD. CX-9 - ditto, a 2.5 turbo petrol four with AWD as the ‘premium’ and front drive as the ‘poverty’. It costs you $4000 more to tick the ‘AWD’ box with Kluger and CX-8, and nearly $4500 in CX-9. Obviously, manufacturing this premium powertrain adds a transfer case (like, a gearbox module) hanging off the back of the transmission, which splits the drive front and rear, plus you have to pay for all the rear-drive componentry - the propshaft, rear diff and rear axles. Stuff like that. So it’s not as if they’re just stitching you up. AWD does cost more. That’s justified. Over at Hyundai and Kia the poverty powertrain in Sorento and Santa Fe is a 3.5-litre atmo petrol V6 with front-drive, and the premium is a 2.2-litre turbo diesel four with all-wheel drive. And the difference in price is just $3000. And I think the price gap shrinks there because V6 engines are expensive to build and package. I really tried to make the case for the V6 front driver. Like, who would buy this? Who is it right for? So, my objective was not to kick the V6 gratuitously in the nuts at the outset - because it doesn’t purport to be an equal kind of option to the diesel AWD. It’s worse. We all know it’s not going to be as good. Because the V6 is pumping all that drive to the front two wheels, and because it needs a rev to perform, it’s easy to spin the front wheels off the mark. In terms of motive power, you’ve only got about half the traction potential of the AWD. Typically you’ll feel this wheelspin when you dart out of a side street onto an arterial road, and you notice a B-double bearing down on you, unexpectedly - so you give the accelerator a squirt and the front inside wheel starts to spin. Like, what else can it do? There’s rear weight transfer thanks to the pitch and right weight transfer thanks to the roll - the left front wheel unloads and spins. They’ve done a pretty good job dialling back the throttle response in this situation, and the intervention of the traction control is pretty mild too - so, well done there, making this process as civilised as it can be. The steering gets a bit squirmy, but it’s not full-tilt torque steer, which feels like it can pull the wheel out of your hands, in extremis. And this is not that, but it’s still not as refined as the all-wheel drive option, which just grabs the road and goes.
9/19/2020 • 17 minutes, 40 seconds
Mitsubishi Plans 10yr/200,000km warranty (with strings attached)
Mitsubishi Motors, ‘Straya wants to give you a 10-year, 200,000km warranty on your future new triple-diamond-badged whatever - but there’s a catch, and you might not like it.
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I hate it when carmakers do this. Always a catch. The carrot and the stick. The good and the bad. This risk and the reward. The yin and the yang. The loan and the interest. The honeymoon, and the divorce. The blonde and the friggin’ redhead. Always the catch... Why can’t life simply be all the carrot, the good, the reward, the loan, the honeymoon, the yin, and (of course) the redhead? So, bits-o-shitty is proposing to offer you 10 years of warranty, which is up from the seven they occasionally hand out on (quote-unquote) ‘selected’ models - but here’s the catch - only if you get the car serviced by a Mitsubishi dealer. If you don’t, the warranty will revert to the five- or seven-year warranty currently on offer. Which seems harsh. As consumer law currently stands, it’s illegal for a carmaker to leverage the warranty against so-called ‘authorised dealer’ servicing. In other words, if you get your car serviced on time, by a qualified independent mechanic, etc., that cannot intrinsically void your warranty. But doubtless a bunch of arsehole lawyers have worked hard on finding a loophole in terms of the way this particular proposal is structured. The ACCC is yet to sign off on bits-o-shitty’s 10-year warranty terms. I don’t think they’re next scheduled to be awake until about October or November. And they can’t decide for themselves whether it’s a good idea or not, so they’re currently calling for submissions on this, from you, by October 2. So they haven’t yet decided to let bits-o-shitty off the chain with this one. Personally I find it absurd that a major corporation such as bits-o-shitty would offer you such a seemingly substantial consumer carrot, while at the same time threatening to lash you with such a big stick. Doubtless the carrot will be up in lights and the stick will be buried in the fine print. But why offer you such a generous gift, with such intrinsic marketing potential - like, ‘Australia’s best factory warranty’ - why offer you this present in such coercive wrapping? That’s bullshit. I get that carmakers want to make dealership servicing a mandatory thing. Unfortunately, this would be uncompetitive, and therefore it’s illegal. On one level it’s not that much of a big deal. Annual servicing - who cares? Once a year. But in reality there are several good reasons, perhaps, to get your car serviced independently. Let me know what you think about this Mitsubishi proposal in the comments below. In my view, all carmakers should just acknowledge the reality: Here in Shitsville, consumer law says cars need to be reasonably durable, in the context of their value and how you’ve used them. Ten years and 200,000 kilometres on average seems reasonable, and it shouldn’t come with unnecessary strings attached. If carmakers and car dealers want you to use their service departments, here’s a revolutionary suggestion: Make them a truly better option than the independent guy down the road. Then you wouldn’t need the friggin’ stick, and life would be all carrots - and redheads… ...and isn’t that what we all really want?
9/18/2020 • 10 minutes, 9 seconds
2021 Kia Sorento and the 'missing' 500kg tow capacity: What went wrong?
Save thousands on any new car (Australia-only): https://autoexpert.com.au/contact AutoExpert discount roadside assistance package: https://247roadservices.com.au/autoexpert/ Did you like this report? You can help support the channel, securely via PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=DSL9A3MWEMNBW&source=url I mentioned this in my full Sorento buyer’s guide and review, Monday. Kia quietly touted a 2500-kilo tow capacity for this vehicle, as early as January, and a lot of people waited a lot of months specifically for that. Unfortunately, the WonderBra effect here proved something of a let-down, and the vehicle lost a complete cup-size, lobbing with a 2000-kilo tow limit, not the anticipated 2500. I hate it when that happens. And many of you - presumably those among you who were waiting for the metaphoric double-Ds to be unleashed - have since reached out to me, somewhat deflated. I am reading some comments that the tow capacity is in fact going to be only 2t. Even the spec sheet on the Kia au website lists tow capacity as 2000kg. Can you confirm what the truth is? It would be a deal breaker for me as I tow a horse float that is just over 2t fully loaded. Thanks. - ptvfr80 Adding fuel to the fire of tow capacity confusion/conspiracy was this, which was mentioned a lot in comments and e-mails: I was interested to see that in Australia the braked towing limit is 2000kg whereas in NZ and the UK the 2.2 diesel is rated at 2500kg. I rang Kia and they couldn't explain it. Maybe it does relate to different tow ball designs in the various countries as the weights otherwise seem to be the same. Shame though. I took the GT-Line for a short test drive and was very impressed. It looks great too. - Mike Langran This of course is quite true - the Sheep-Shaggistani Kia website does list the Kiwi tow capacity at 2.5 tonnes, both in the online specs and the downloadable PDF brochure. I’m no self-appointed Kia apologist. It’s a proper egg-on-face event for them. That disappearing 500 kilos. I’m sure they had meetings about it. I’m further sure they wished they had just shut up about this, at the outset. Because with no pre-emptive commentary, there’s no vector for public disappointment. So I just want to lay out how this happened, and what gives - literally. And then we’ll crunch the numbers on what you can tow with a new Sorento, and how much payload you can carry when it’s at its maximum tow capacity. Up front though, this vehicle still represents a substantial tow capacity upgrade in real terms. And it’s currently up there with equal class leaders in this category. So, it’s hardly a disgrace in those terms. Sorento is not trying to be a Pajero Sport in terms of heavy lifting. The two tonnes carries over, but the towball download on new Sorento has increased from 100 kilos in the old model to 200 kilos on this one. And in practise this makes achieving two tonnes easier, because it can be quite difficult to limit the towball to just five per cent of aggregate trailer mass on some Aussie-spec trailers. (Typically they’re designed for 10 per cent.) Also worth acknowledging: Mazda CX-8 and CX-9 offer 2000 kilos with 150 on the ball - but both of them have a space-saver spare, which is a comprehensive pain for towing. Kluger has a full-sized spare and 2000-kilo max tow capacity, but Toyota doesn’t list towball download in its specs. And Santa Fe has 2000 kilos maximum, full-sized spare, so that’s good, but (out of the box) just 100 kilos on the towball. You can upgrade that to 150 if you fit the Genuine Load Assist Kit (which is a replacement set of rear springs, basically). I did that on my Santa Fe and did a 2000-kilo tow test with it. That worked fine. It towed brilliantly, but again, you need to work hard to tweak the towball download down to achieve not more than 7.5 per cent of ATM.
9/16/2020 • 20 minutes, 44 seconds
2021 Kia Sorento review & buyer's guide
After driving the 2021 Kia Sorento for a week now, I have a question for you: How do the premium German brands differentiate themselves, into the next decade?
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If you are an actual car-buyer … someone with cash and the need for seven seats, the new Sorento is good. Not perfect, but really good. Certainly far better than the notion you might have in your head when someone says ‘flagship Kia’. If you last looked at Kia in about 2010 (or even earlier) it’s time for you to re-calibrate. In this report I’m going to lay out exactly what I like about the new Sorento - and there is a lot to like about this vehicle. But there are imperfections too, and some things it does poorly - right at the end of this report I’ll address those shortcomings. This review is independent. Everything I say here is my honest personal opinion about the vehicle, and the company selling it. This is the fourth generation Sorento - and all-new platform, updated diesel, all new transmission for the diesel, new interior and exterior, new infotainment OS, etc. The diesel is a 2.2-litre turbo - an evolution of the predecessor. It’s got an aluminium block now, which shaves almost 20 kilos off the bathroom scales, and delivers hybrid-like fuel economy - 6.1 litres per 100km on the official combined cycle test, and 5.3 on the highway. You really should consider the diesel, but if you’re a ‘petrol-only’ kind of dude or dudette, there’s a V6 petrol in the range as well. If you’re an average sort of driver looking for a versatile SUV with five seats and a large cargo bay, or seven seats and modest cargo capacity, then Sorento V6 is a definite starter. The diesel is definitely better - it’s smoother and more composed thanks in part to the all-wheel-drive powertrain, and also because the diesel just makes more mid- and low-rpm power. It’s also a lot more fuel efficient, but more expensive. Sorento diesel AWD is compatible with dirt roads and easy fire trails and driving of that nature - but if you throw properly difficult terrain its way, you’ll probably break something. It’s just not designed for that. All-wheel drive is a real plus for family camping. Like, if it rains overnight and the dirt road you drove in on turns to mush, you stand a far better chance of fronting up for work Monday morning, with AWD. If that’s you, buy the diesel. There are four specification grades. Starting at the bottom is the ‘S’, then the ‘Sport’, ‘Sport+’ and (topping out the range) the GT-Line. And there’s an $18,000 gap between the V6 front drive ‘S’ poverty pack at about $47k drive-away, and the range topping diesel AWD GT-Line at about $65k. So, how do you make sense of that? I’d suggest it’s like this: Bottom of the range is there to appeal to beancounters - specifically the kind of beancounters who buy vehicles by the dozen for corporate fleets. They strip out almost everything they can to get the price low. If you’re buying for yourself, on a tight budget, take one step up because Sport is a lot better than S - and it’s only $3000 more. Sport+ is the smart choice on value - it’s a $4500 step up. You get a proximity key with pushbutton start, power tailgate for juggling the groceries, leather, remote start, heated seats and USBs in the back. GT-Line is the works burger - also diesel only - and it’s going to cost you about $6500 more than Sport+. It’s got everything - premium instrument cluster, blind view monitor, you can park it remotely, you get a 360 camera, and premium sound. This stuff is all nice, but can you live without it in Sport+? Yeah. Absolutely.
9/14/2020 • 43 minutes, 48 seconds
Former Volkswagen boss Martin Winterkorn to stand trial for fraud in dieselgate scandal
The albatross around Volkswagen’s neck, which we know and love as ‘Dieselgate’, is certainly not flying away any time soon. The latest uplifting development there is in this report.
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Germany: a court this week happily ruled that former Volkswagen CEO, Martin Winterkorn, will stand trial on fraud charges linked to the company’s global emissions crimes, where it knowingly put profit ahead of human health, and said ‘hey, love us anyway’. Which worked out so well for them, through the prism of retrospectivity. To date, Volkswagen has paid more than 30 billion Euros (which is about $50 billion in Shitsvillian micro-pesos) in penalties and settlements for being such fine, outstanding citizens and paragons of global virtue, etc. They dropped their reputation in the sewer, as a consequence of these careful decisions approved at the highest level, which remains a real ‘surprise and delight’ event for a reporter such as me. Imagine how close we’d be to having a therapeutic goods administration-approved zombie-pandemic-curing vaccine with that kind of spare cash to throw at it. Just saying… Like, what can’t you cure or solve, for 30 billion Euros? After five years of carefully thinking this through, a three-judge panel in beautiful downtown Braunschweig in Volkswagen's neck of the woods (Lower Saxony) ruled that car buyers suffered a financial loss when they bought a car without being aware it was equipped with the illegal software. Such a paradox. It’s not like they could have put: “New Golf diesel, now with loss-ensuring illegal code to pump up the toxicity” in the brochure. Not even in the fine print. Epicurus could have had a field day with that, except of course he’s been dead for 2360-ish years... The court in Bratwurst found a (quote) “predominant likelihood” of conviction in the fraud charge. Ze Chermans are quite precise like that. Look at how well they run their railways. It’s amazing. They’re good at predicting the foreseeable future. Just saying. The three wise Cherman judges said four other defendants would face trial on fraud charges connected to aggravated tax evasion and illegal advertising. Dates for a trial are yet to be set. They hate tax evasion. Courts, and governments. Just ask Wesley Snipes. They have no sense of humour whatsoever, on this stuff. To regulators, tax evasion is worse than murder. Public trials are always fun, too, which Big Marty’s is apparently set to be. There’s really nothing a former corporate rockstar loves more than having his dirty laundry oxygenated on the nightly news.
9/12/2020 • 14 minutes, 57 seconds
Mercedes launches robot S Class - but divorces reality
You probably saw Daimler’s claims this week about introducing Level Three autonomy by way of robot S Class. Let’s talk about that.
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Level Three is where the so-called ‘driver’ might as well be brain-dead - up to 60 kays an hour. Big, bad suppository says the lawyers are just working it out with the government and they’ll roll it out forthwith. Apparently Level Three is gunna be unlocked on the new S-Class after the regulatory imprimatur in Germany, from Angela. And then they might hide these features in, lesser Mercs, behind a paywall. Like, swipe black Amex here if you want that unlocked, kinda thing. Maybe a monthly subscription. Because, avarice knows no bounds in the Daimler boardroom. Let us not forget Daimler just promised failsafe autonomous cars up to 60 kays an hour, but can’t actually get a right-drive AWD Benz not to crab like the worst pre-production prototype ever, whenever you’re not going dead ahead. I’m just saying that for technical perspective. They won’t even admit the cars do that, and when they do, they claim it’s not a defect, but rather an ‘operational characteristic’. So: are these really the kinds of dudes you want putting robot cars out there on the roads, around us? I was all set to pat them on the back here - like, well done. Level Three. Substantial technical achievement. Electric Jesus is gunna have a fit … so that’s nice. But then, Ola Kallenius said: “If we are successful with the legal framework for Level Three which we predict we will be, then [we will be] the first one to plant a flag on the moon in terms of doing Level Three.” - Ola Kallenius, boss of Daimler Did he just compare Level Three autonomy to Apollo? I suppose just putting a flag on the moon is not that hard. But you have to get it there first. (It’s an intrinsic part of the activity.) And that is properly difficult. Getting a flag on the moon certainly puts Level Three autonomy in perspective. So, to Ola Kallenius from Daimler I would say: This comparison is offensive to the greatest technical achievement in human history. I’m no snowflake. I don’t want him cancelled. I actually find it quite entertaining when these masters degree bigwigs throw their credibility under the bus by being so staggeringly out of touch with the facts. Just pointing out it’s a completely crass comparison which is also divorced from reality. Let’s compare the two achievements, with a little beer-garden rocket science, shall we?
9/5/2020 • 18 minutes, 2 seconds
Living with Hyundai Kona Electric EV (& ritual suicide)
If you're thinking about buying an electric car, listen to this report.
Is there a rational case for spending the big bucks on a Hyundai Kona Electric?
I lived with one for three months to find out - and I'm the country's least-evangelical EV reviewer.
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8/26/2020 • 27 minutes, 27 seconds
Donald Trump declares war on Goodyear after MAGA ban in Kansas tyre factory
It’s suddenly quite a bad year for Goodyear. After a recent blowout, the company lost control, and swerved catastrophically left. Its grip on reality seemed lost. Thank God Donald Trump stepped in, like an omnipotent orange-haired airbag, and saved the day.
This is what happens when companies forget what they do and decide instead to enter the brave new world of social justice posturing...
8/22/2020 • 13 minutes, 39 seconds
Sorry Tesla, but your Auto Park system is rubbish ... and here's why
A Tesla Model S has gone 100 per cent ‘bad valet’ in Queensland.
I’m John Cadogan from AutoExpert.com.au, and I get new cars cheap for buyers here in ‘Straya. https://autoexpert.com.au/contact
Some would say Tesla is (at least in part) a religion. Therefore, this report is tantamount to ‘heresy’.
I do apologise (almost) for what I am about to say, and beg forgiveness from Pope Elon the First and (of course) Electric Jesus. (And isn’t it funny how they’ve never been seen in the same room together. Just saying.)
Recently, 80-year-old senior Shitsvillian finance wizard Noel Whittaker, AM, author of 22 books on money, apparently went out (quietly) and joined the cult of Electric Jesus, and procured for himself a $175,000 Tesla Model S. I don’t know why, when he could have had a perfectly fine BMW. Anyway...
So the finance dude’s Tesla has Auto Park. And, he’s at the shopping mall reversing into a parking spot, as you do.
Electric Jesus reaches out, using The Force, and says ‘Would you like to use Auto Park?’ On the message centre. The Whitt-meister goes ‘OK’. Hits the button. Like: ‘approved’. Mission control: We are ‘go’ for autonomous parking. Release the friggin’ robot.
The mighty Model S obediently engages Auto Park … and immediately crashes itself into the brick wall behind. (According to Mr Whittaker.)
Which I think you’d agree is the ideal outcome … endlessly entertaining for you and me, and of course perfect for journalism generally. The swan-eater emerges from the wreckage, thankfully unhurt, promptly calls Tesla, and they go (I’m paraphrasing): It’s entirely your fault mate - there’s no way we’re paying the $8000 repair bill. That’s down to you.
There’s a certain sympathetic dimension - a degree of anticipated commiseration and empathy - which, I would argue, is entirely absent from that exchange.
The Cult’s position on this is - apparently - that ‘Auto Park’ is just a name, and you still have to be in charge when you let EJ’s mad parking robot off the chain. Which kinda forces me to ponder if perhaps the meaning of the word ‘automatic’ is in some way ambiguous.
8/20/2020 • 13 minutes, 34 seconds
3-cylinder Vs 4-cylinder engines: Which is best?
Increased efficiency means more manufacturers are moving from four cylinders to three in their smallest, most fuel-efficient cars. Is the time right for you to switch from four to three cylinders and what a re the relative merits and weaknesses of each engine type?
8/17/2020 • 24 minutes, 20 seconds
The energy cost of producing petrol (a.k.a. 'gasoline')
How much energy is 'wasted' producing the liquid fuels? (With all due respect to the universal application of the second law of thermodynamics).
This podcast answers a question from you.
8/15/2020 • 13 minutes, 1 second
Same engines, but different service intervals: Huh?
A question from you: Two different Toyotas with the same engine, but the manufacturer demands two different service intervals. How on earth is that consistent, rational or justifiable?
8/15/2020 • 5 minutes, 48 seconds
Ultimate rip-off: Paying to 'rustproof' a modern car
Modern cars just don't rust - and yet, despite recent consumer protection intervention, some companies still attempt to sell electronic corrosion protection devices.
Sexed up with pseudo-science, they sound quite compelling (provided you never paid attention at school).
Find out about the latest rust preventative 'miracle': the OBDOI, or Onboard Diagnostic Oxidation Interface...
Time to wake up, ACCC.
8/14/2020 • 15 minutes, 14 seconds
Beam me up, Stinger
Kia Stinger headlamp high beams ... sending signals into space (seemingly).
The big question is: Why?
8/14/2020 • 8 minutes, 52 seconds
Protecting a dead industry: Luxury Car Tax & Import Duty
The local car manufacturing industry is long dead, yet the taxes designed to protect it remain.
Government exists at the intersection of incompetence and greed...
8/14/2020 • 11 minutes, 58 seconds
The ethics of automotive design defects: Who should pay?
Not everyone agreed with my assessment of responsibility in the previous episode. In this one I lay out the reasoning, using one of the more rational disagreements for counterpoints.
Decide for yourself who is right.
8/14/2020 • 18 minutes, 39 seconds
Another Nissan LEAF owner is looking at an outrageous battery replacement bill
Is it fair to expect owners to foot the bill for an inherent design defect? This particular owner followed all the charging instructions, and lost 75 per cent of the car's cruising range over the first seven years of LEAF ownership - and now Nissan thinks it's a bargain expecting him to pay $5k for the repair.
8/14/2020 • 14 minutes, 23 seconds
Have you trashed your car's 'free' roadside assistance?
A lot of 'free' roadside assistance policies are leveraged against getting your car serviced by the authorised dealer.
Find out how servicing affects roadside assistance, warranty and support.
8/14/2020 • 8 minutes, 44 seconds
Torque to yield bolts - how they work
Torque to yield is a type of threaded fastener that provides much more clamping force than a conventional high-tensile bolt. Unfortunately, once you undo them, you have to throw them away...
8/14/2020 • 23 minutes, 59 seconds
The truth about oil consumption in a modern engine
Engine oil consumption used to be the harbinger of death for your engine (in the olden days, shortly after the age of the dinosaurs but before Twitter).
This is no longer the case. Find out why.
8/14/2020 • 9 minutes, 20 seconds
August 2020 new car buyer's market update
Stock shortages are a plague imposed upon the market right now - thanks very much, COVID-19. Discounts are still out there, just don't expect to take delivery of that car of your dreams next week. There are currently extended delivery timeframes on many of my popular and recommended new models.
8/14/2020 • 17 minutes, 47 seconds
How to bend the chassis of your ute. (Just add dickhead.)
There is a small but significant (and increasing) epidemic of ute owners bending the chassis if their utes. Bananarama-fication. Yessssssssssssss!
Find out why, and how to avoid doing this.
8/14/2020 • 35 minutes
Warranty, servicing & roadside assistance: understanding the fine print | Auto Expert John Cadogan
If you don't get your car serviced at the authorised dealer, you might lose your 'free' roadside assistance. (Even if you got it serviced on time by an authorised mechanic.) This report is based on the recent real-life experience of an AutoExpert viewer who suffered a dead battery at the roadside, and found his roadside assistance had been cancelled.
Kia's roadside assist T&Cs: https://www.kia.com/au/owners/roadside-assist.html
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8/10/2020 • 8 minutes, 44 seconds
Mazda Skyactiv-X 2.0-litre petrol engine: is it worth buying today?
New Mazda engine tech in the Mazda3 and coming next month in the CX-30: Should you pay the big bucks and actually buy one? That's next...
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8/6/2020 • 13 minutes, 45 seconds
The truth about Volvo & other niche brands - for mainstream new car buyers
Listen to this podcast before deluding yourself that Volvo is Scandinavian Mercedes-Benz (or that Land Rover is British Audi - etc.)
Find out the real-world implications of buying a niche brand when you really need mainstream mobility and support.
8/2/2020 • 22 minutes, 39 seconds
Mitsubishi Motors to leave UK & Europe
Mitsubishi Motors has announced a 'desperation' business plan - which involves (in part) commencing to pull out of the UK and Europe, with immediate effect. Find out what this means for the brand in this report.
7/29/2020 • 15 minutes, 42 seconds
Why I (still) don't recommend you buy a Mercedes-Benz
This report concerns the conduct of Mercedes-Benz in Australia, in respect of the retrospective deletion of features on one customer's C 200. It's fully supported by the documentation from both sides and provides a fascinating window into the difference in treatment between prospective customers and actual owners.
If I were a potential Mercedes-Benz buyer I would carefully consider the issues raised before parting with my cash.
7/17/2020 • 23 minutes, 49 seconds
Mercedes F1 racing paints its car black - but who really cares?
Mercedes F1 cars - the legendary ‘silver arrows’ - are no longer silver. They’re painted black this year. A symbolic gesture of support for the ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement, at Mr Hamilton’s behest.
They will race for the very first time in this new, emblematic non-color this weekend. Mr Hamilton and his team-mate will race in corresponding black overalls this year, as well, and the ‘End Racism’ message will be displayed on both cars.
Mr Hamilton said: "It’s so important that we seize this moment and use it to educate ourselves whether you are an individual, brand or company to make real meaningful changes when it comes to ensuring equality and inclusivity."
Real and meaningful changes when it comes to ensuring equality and inclusivity. These buzzwords are straight from the social justice warrior handbook, I’m pretty sure. To which I would respectfully retort:
Equality and inclusivity are essential for any truly free and enlightened society. Ending racism is an admirable objective. But two black cars and matching jumpsuits, plus a slogan, does not constitute ‘meaningful change’ in this area. It just doesn’t. Or, if it does, I don’t see how. It does not even illuminate a path, in that broad direction, in my estimation.
This new non-colour scheme is hardly a turnaround for repressed groups anywhere. It’s just not. It’s a shallow, virtue-signalling token in my estimation - and you are of course free to make your own determination on this.
Certainly black lives matter. All lives matter. Ending racism is admirable. I got no problem with the theory here - just the execution in this case.
I say this because … well, let’s set the scene. I say it because Mercedes is owned by Daimler AG, in Chermany, which was founded 94 years ago. In 2019 Daimler enjoyed revenue of 173 billion Euros, it produced 3.3 million vehicles and it employed almost 300,000 people.
I find this whole ‘charge towards inclusivity … led by black race cars and matching jumpsuits’ … this F1 sideshow to be unbelievably shallow and incredibly tokenistic because … well, because that’s the board of management of Daimler. Out of 300,000 people on the payroll, these are the six dudes and duos dudettes who rose to the top.
I’m not a sociologist, or a genealogist, or a geneticist, or any other kind of expert on race, heritage or ethnicity, so I could be dead wrong, but as far as the superficial optics go … it seems fair to say that perhaps Daimler could try just a little bit harder to represent, on the ‘diversity’ front, in the boardroom. If they really do care about this issue.
Because they sure as shit seem to be cut from the same cultural cloth to me. Perhaps they are, in fact, the eight best people for the job. Perhaps there is a wide-ranging cultural diversity in the boardroom, which is less than apparent. And perhaps other non-ability-related criteria factored into their selection, because of a latent and less than enlightened defect in the selection process. I’ll leave that to you to debate.
Perhaps this is a challenge to be embraced by the Daimler AG board, once they get society more broadly back on track with those vital black race cars and matching driver jumpsuits. I wish them good luck with that, but i do fear it will be ineffective.
If one wanted to make real change here, vis-a-vis inclusivity, I’d suggest that boardrooms of this nature would not be a bad place to start. So long as the best-qualified people get the job, ultimately.
7/5/2020 • 8 minutes, 8 seconds
Left foot braking in a modern car? (What you need to know...)
Left-foot braking: how not to do it, and what to do when it all goes totally ‘Skynet’ down there. I hate when that happens…
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Imagine you’re driving along and five years down the track some dodgy floor mat shifts forward unexpectedly and it wedges the accelerator flat down on the floor. It could be a drink bottle, or an adult toy, or your Louis Vuitton yachting moccasins - whatever, the point is, it gets stuck and jams the loud pedal down.
Or, hypothetically, you might have complete brain-fade during some critical driving incident, and you jam both pedals flat to the floor instead of just the brake (because high-level cognitive abilities are extremely degraded in a crisis).
Which is why you need advanced driver training if you want to swerve, avoid and (importantly) recover control in a driving crisis. Expecting to be Batman (or Lewis Hamilton) in this situation, without putting in the work, is nuts.
The point is: the throttle and the brake don’t go together. Because they do opposite things. And if you do call on them both contemporaneously, the car should identify that you are being something of a dick, and intervene.
In such a situation (I’m told) it does make sense to interlock the throttle against brake input. Most cars have throttle-by-wire, so it’s easy to kill the throttle via ECU intervention. It’s just a few lines of code.
Teaching your kids how to drive? Re-teaching yourself perhaps? Here’s my comprehensive advice on survival driving:
Safe Driving Part 1: Top 5 Rules >> and the all-important follow-through, Safe Driving Part 2: Skills vs Tactics >>
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7/2/2020 • 10 minutes, 44 seconds
Everything wrong with dual-cab 4x4 utes in 2020
There’s big money in dual-cab 4X4 pickups. In total, 170,000 4X4 pickups were sold here in Shitsville last year. I’ve got a ‘pop quiz’ for you in just a sec, to see how well you really understand the ute market. After that - at the end of this video I will share with you one vital (and potentially lifesaving) tip that a lot of ute buyers overlook - which is potentially a matter of life and death, and which the manufacturer will never tell you. Keep watching for that.
Pop quiz: Of the top 10 utes, I can only identify two with factory fitted transmission coolers. Can you tell me which ones they are? Try this: There are two utes that have 4WD in high range for use on a high-traction surface, with the centre diff unlocked - one is AWD and the other is selectable - you can also use 2WD in high range. Any ideas which two utes I’m talking about?
One ute in the top 10 does not come with low range. At all. One ute has wheel bolts - as opposed to studs - which is a bit of a bastard, trackside, I have to say. One ute is renowned for valve body failures in the transmission - actually, it’s two. Two utes have disc brakes all around. Any ideas?
Only one of the top 10 4X4 utes is actually made in Japan. Any clues? One of the top 10 has not been crash tested since 2011 - but still claims five stars.
The point I’m trying to make here is that there’s a lot of nuanced variation and certainly currently no perfect ute. Some utes are better at one thing and some are better at another, and some are decent all rounders that fail to shine at any one particular thing. (I’m looking at you, Hilux.)
If you want to cut to the chase - my strong recommendation - based on solid objective criteria and lengthy analysis - is the current Triton. Great powertrain. Terrific reliability. Advanced transfer case functionality. Rear diff locker. Unbeatable value, currently. Excellent comfort, good cabin layout and plenty of interior space…
But even here, Triton has an Achilles heel - and that’s all about fundamental load-carrying geometry in the tray. So even my best ute might not be the best ute for you if you’re a - literally - heavy user with big plans for a heavily loaded tray for work or long-haul touring or camping.
I’ve just broken down the top 10 utes in the market in ‘Straya - top 10 4X4 dual cabs by sales, so far this year - and identified every salient feature I know of, which might be a potential ‘don’t buy’ trigger mechanism for you - depending on how you want to use your ute.
My exclusive video and print report on the blog just there, includes around 30 minutes of deep-dive ute market dissection - totally ad-free, and unavailable anywhere else. If you don’t want a ute, that’s probably gunna be the miracle cure for insomnia, right there. But if you are thinking about spending the big bucks, this report could save you from making a $50,000 mistake - or more.
I sincerely hope you will join me over there.
7/1/2020 • 33 minutes, 31 seconds
2020 best mainstream new cars - market update for intending buyers
I just wanted to make you aware of some upcoming imminent developments in some of my recommended new vehicles. That’s next.
I’m John Cadogan from AutoExpert.com.au … and I get new cars cheap for buyers here in ‘Straya. You can enquire here >> for that.
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* Kia Sorento update: https://autoexpert.com.au/posts/2021-kia-sorento-details-leaked-dealer
* 4x4 ute developments: https://autoexpert.com.au/posts/2020-ute-market-buyers-guide
* New BT-50: https://autoexpert.com.au/posts/2021-mazda-bt-50-is-it-really-worth-buying
* Lewis Hamilton's incredible race with a statue: https://autoexpert.com.au/posts/lewis-hamilton-loses-a-race-with-reality
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I’ve worked quite hard to be the country’s most hated automotive journalist … and also the most biased new car reviewer on the planet. In this era of equality I remain so emphatically prejudiced against cars that are shit, and which you should not buy, and against carmakers who seem to think there’s no obligation to look after you if you have a genuine problem. I am a bastard like that.
People view bias like it’s a bad thing. Au contraire, I say.
Anyhoo - there’s movement at the station, etc., in respect of some of my most recommended cars. So I guess you need to stay informed, the better to decide whether to sit on your suitcase full of Shitsvillian micro-pesos, or strike while the iron is - kinda - warm in respect of a strong runout deal on the outgoing model.
6/28/2020 • 13 minutes
How Lewis Hamilton lost a race with reality - against a dude who died 300 years ago
Lewis Hamilton is - by any measure - a driving legend, blessed with incredible skill and on the cusp of F1 immortality in the manner of a Senna or Fangio. #Respect.
As a driver - Lewis Hamilton is awesome. I would love to hear him talk us all through a lap of Brands Hatch, or the Nurburgring. But - to be perfectly frank - I don’t actually give a shit what he thinks about anything else.
I understand, therefore, why an angry mob would vandalise the statue of a dude who’s (at best) an historical footnote, in Bristol, in the UK. They ripped it down after 125 years and threw it in the harbour, ignominiously. Just the other day.
Take that, Edward Colston, you bastard. You croaked at the age of 84, roughly 300 years ago, in 1721. And your effigy has been hurled to the bottom of the Avon river. (Although the council did soon thereafter resurrect you, not unlike Jesus…)
Mr Colston was a Tory MP, a merchant, and a philanthropist who built local schools, hospitals, and established charitable foundations in and around Bristol and London - many of which survive to this day. Institutions and buildings bear his name.
You can even chow down a nice, fruity Colston bun in Bristol - so I suppose that’s nice. All this is true and a matter of historical fact. So, why was the crowd so self-evidently pissed?
Colston was a senior executive in a company established by King Charles II - the Royal African Company - which traded gold, silver, ivory and - at this point you best remove the rose coloured tint of retrospectivity - because it also traded slaves, disgracefully. Legally, under the seal of the crown, but disgracefully nonetheless.
84,000 slaves - men, women and children, whose lives mattered to them just as much as yours does to you, and mine certainly does to me. Stolen and sent to the Americas, to work mainly on tobacco and cotton fields. 19,000 of them didn’t even make it. They died in transit. Seafaring was a much more high-risk endeavour back then, clearly. Except of course on the Ruby Princess...
And then, of course, Lewis Hamilton chimed in - when, in my view he should have shut his trap and concentrated on being a champion driver.
"That man's statue should stay in the river just like the 20 thousand African souls who died on the journey here and thrown into the sea, with no burial or memorial. He stole them from their families, country and he must not be celebrated! It should be replaced with a memorial for all those he sold, all those that lost their lives!"
Clearly, slavery and racism are an indelible scar on the human spirit and we need to eradicate them from the future. I’m talking about eliminating future crimes against humanity.
To me, that’s what’s important. And dudes like Lewis Hamilton simply are ill-equipped intellectually to help on this - in my view:
"I challenge government officials worldwide to make these changes and implement the peaceful removal of these racist symbols."
These racist symbols indeed. These close ties with slavery. Hear hear. Mr Hamilton is challenging lawmakers peacefully to remove racist symbols indelibly linked to slavery. It seems unequivocal.
And yet, also a poor idea to lob such a stone, no matter how well-intended, when your arse resides in such a seemingly glass house.
A couple of far more recent slavery-linked contenders come instantly to mind: Mercedes-Benz and Hugo Boss, coincidentally enough - because they are sponsors of Mr Hamilton, and their histories are indelibly linked to slavery. Play the episode to see just how deeply.
6/27/2020 • 19 minutes, 15 seconds
Responding to your new Mazda BT 50 & Isuzu D MAX feedback
An extended conversation, down at the virtual pub, regarding the new BT-50 and what you thought of it.
ICYMI: My exclusive report: https://autoexpert.com.au/posts/2021-mazda-bt-50-is-it-really-worth-buying
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6/23/2020 • 21 minutes, 52 seconds
New 2021 Mazda BT-50: Is it really worth buying?
All this gushing for the new Mazda BT-50 in the motoring media - it really needs to stop. Here's why...
My exclusive report: https://autoexpert.com.au/posts/2021-mazda-bt-50-is-it-really-worth-buying
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6/19/2020 • 5 minutes, 34 seconds
2020 Subaru Impreza review & buyer's guide
Subaru has given Impreza a light sex-up for 2020 - nothing outrageous, just incremental improvements. It's still one of my recommended small cars...
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6/15/2020 • 21 minutes, 44 seconds
Sometimes I just can't save you thousands on a new car (not clickbait)
It’s simple - when manufacturers slash their margins you’re already saving thousands, and it’s a walk-up start. Massive savings are already on the table...
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6/14/2020 • 9 minutes, 51 seconds
How to save thousands on a brand new car in Australia
Coming up, how I save you thousands on your next new car - I get them cheap for Australian buyers and all you have to do is fill in a form...
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6/13/2020 • 7 minutes, 54 seconds
Mods vs Warranty: How vehicle modifications affect your new car warranty
Do modifications affect your new vehicle warranty? Easy answer: Yes - and of course, no. Kooky code-cracking details next...
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6/10/2020 • 11 minutes, 36 seconds
Q&A How much does fuel expand with temperature?
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6/4/2020 • 10 minutes, 50 seconds
Ultimate guide to anti-seize (copper, aluminium, nickel & graphite)
An emphatically not-nutty Q&A about high-tensile fasteners. Everything you've ever wanted to know about anti-seize: the ultimate pub argument-ender, right there...
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6/1/2020 • 11 minutes, 8 seconds
Nissan slashes billions and axes 20,000 jobs (& says it's good news)
Nissan spin doctors have brilliantly turned into a positive the recent boning of 20,000 workers and the company generally gutting itself in a desperate bid for profitability. Unfortunately, Nissan's terminally ill operation in Australia remains open. Hopefully, not for much longer...
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5/31/2020 • 12 minutes, 17 seconds
VW loses landmark high court case, faces billions more in penalties
Volkswagen has tripped over its wedding vegetables, again. This time in public. So that's nice.
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5/28/2020 • 13 minutes, 37 seconds
Nissan Patrol Y62 (Armada) Vs Toyota LandCruiser 200 on max tow capacity
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5/26/2020 • 13 minutes, 55 seconds
Nissan Patrol Y62 (Armada) & heavy towing payload limitation: the facts
Heavy towing with a Nissan Patrol - apparently this is responsible for more intracranial bleeds than planning a moonshot. Perhaps we can stem the bleeding here.
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5/25/2020 • 18 minutes, 29 seconds
Automotive BS Academy Award winners (this month)
Honda, Jeep and Nissan win bronze, silver and gold, respectively, in the May 2020 Bullshit Olympics. Thankfully, not even a zombie pandemic can put a dent in humanity's significant resilience to bullshit.
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5/23/2020 • 20 minutes, 17 seconds
Reacting to your wheel nut anti-seize feedback (epic nut)
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5/16/2020 • 7 minutes, 13 seconds
2020 Kia Sorento tech details leaked by dealer
Confidential details of new Kia Sorento leaked to the press by arsehole dealer: I love this industry. Spoiler alert: Don’t buy the current Sorento. The new one’s gonna be so much better…
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5/14/2020 • 14 minutes, 9 seconds
Jeep Wrangler rollover: twice! An epic independent crash test fail
A shitbox Wrangler has parked on its side after flipping out twice during crash testing in the US. Is there no end to the recreational capability of this iconic coffin on wheels?
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5/11/2020 • 12 minutes, 24 seconds
Holden prepares for all-out war ... with its dealers
Butt-hurt in the Holden boardroom reached 1000 incredible degrees C the other day - that’s hot enough to normalise even the hardest steel. Predictably enough, they boiled the jug and issued a press release, just to let off some steam.
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5/7/2020 • 17 minutes, 37 seconds
New car sales plunge, while lobby groups queue for taxpayer handouts
New car sales have fallen by their lowest amount in 30 years. It's a perfect storm of opportunity if you've got cash and you need a new car now...
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5/7/2020 • 16 minutes, 14 seconds
Should you buy a Mazda in 2020?
Mazda is looking down the barrel of a Federal Court ACCC reaming, if found guilty of unconscionable arsehole conduct. So, should you buy one?
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4/28/2020 • 10 minutes, 50 seconds
Practical engine run-in advice for tradies in utes
Do you really need to run in your shiny new ute before towing a trailer daily for work? Here’s what to do…
Garage Blitz: http://www.garageblitz.com.au/
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4/28/2020 • 8 minutes, 3 seconds
Performance driving hand repositioning
Controversy over the Jedi mastery of holding the steering wheel continues. Are you still doing it wrong?
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4/26/2020 • 9 minutes, 13 seconds
Aftermarket ute trays: safety concern or industry smear campaign?
The car industry’s grubby little anti-consumer lobby group is at it again. So incredibly dependable…
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4/25/2020 • 15 minutes, 33 seconds
Dead battery pandemic: DIY in lockdown
A dead car battery pandemic is sweeping the western world: such a soul-crushing experience. Here’s how to avoid it…
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4/22/2020 • 16 minutes, 39 seconds
Oil price plunges below zero for the first time in history
In entertainment news, the zombie pandemic is presently rat-fucking the entire global oil industry. And you thought it was all bad news...
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4/21/2020 • 14 minutes, 9 seconds
Holden V dealers: an epic Mexican stand-off
General Motors says it remains confident of securing gold in the 100, 200 and 400-metres rat humper events when the rescheduled Tokyo Olympics kicks off in just 459 days…
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4/20/2020 • 15 minutes, 19 seconds
Car servicing on lockdown: should you skip it?
Not using your car that much on lockdown? You’re not actually thinking about letting the servicing slide, are you? Bad idea…
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4/18/2020 • 9 minutes, 40 seconds
Heavy towing: manual selection with auto transmissions
Towing and manually selecting gears in an auto: Generally a bad idea. Not everyone agrees, because the world is full of geniuses: Just ask Dunning and Kruger.
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4/16/2020 • 13 minutes, 35 seconds
Speed camera company Redflex: the latest lockdown casualty
The zombie apocalypse is about to claim another victim. Only this time, it's a happy story. Warm up the Ming Molls and put the champagne on ice because my heart is as heavy as butterflies in spring. Australian-based speed camera operator Redflex is in trouble. Oh dear.
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4/16/2020 • 18 minutes, 1 second
Lockdown just made the roads safer
Finally, some good news: fewer people have died on Australian roads this Easter. Talk about blessings in disguise…
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4/15/2020 • 7 minutes, 4 seconds
ACCC investigates GM’s conduct in closing down Holden
As Holden dealers run out of stock early at least you can count on GM to continue to behave like zero-ethics arseholes, right to the bitter end. But entertainingly so...
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4/12/2020 • 11 minutes, 50 seconds
Disinfecting your car is car industry fear-mongering
I dunno about you, but I’m getting kinda sick of bullshit (let’s call it) ‘advice’ from arsehole lobby groups about the best ways to mitigate infection from the zombie apocalypse.
Imagine my delight when, out of the ether, a vital press release created a disturbance in The Force.
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4/10/2020 • 17 minutes, 1 second
Factory warranty doesn't matter (any more) | Auto Expert John Cadogan
Warranty is a pivotal consideration for many new car buyers - but if you're one of them, you're getting it wrong. Because of the way Australian Consumer Law works, warranty is largely irrelevant. What really matters is how well the carmaker complies with their consumer law obligtions.
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4/9/2020 • 15 minutes, 11 seconds
Struggling car dealers beg for government bailout
Car dealers have just started begging for a government bail-out thanks to the zombie apocalypse.
In a dramatic turning of the tables, car dealers are crying poor as the apocalypse sees hordes of the undead sinking their teeth into the necks of Australia’s Armani-suited ankle-grabbers.
Upon the other foot, the shoe is.
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4/6/2020 • 12 minutes, 52 seconds
Broken down out of warranty: Here's how you get it fixed - FREE
One of the most chilling scenarios for car owners is a major failure - just out of warranty. Dealerships and carmakers are often quite unhelpful and prey on consumers ignorant of basic consumer law - which protects you in these circumstances.
Here's what you need to know in order to exercise your fundamental consumer law rights and (hopefully) get the problem fixed - free.
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4/5/2020 • 15 minutes, 46 seconds
March new car sales collapse: epic discounts on now
The zombie apocalypse has flatlined new car sales here in Shitsville. March marks two straight years of monthly declines in Australian car sales: it's the perfect storm. Latent commercial pressure and added stress of the zombie apocalypse makes it a perfect time to buy a new car if you've got the cash and the job security.
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4/3/2020 • 17 minutes, 22 seconds
How dangerous is driving, really?
Safe roads versus safe cars: inspired by an excellent question from you. Well, maybe not specifically you. But certainly not a toilet paper hoarder.
So, exactly how risky is driving?
References
Road deaths: https://www.budgetdirect.com.au/car-insurance/research/car-accident-statistics.html
Deaths from smoking:
https://gas.ctsu.ox.ac.uk/tobacco/C5020.pdf
https://www.tobaccoinaustralia.org.au/chapter-3-health-effects/3-30-total-burden-of-death-and-disease-attributable-to-tobacco-by-disease-category
Death in Australia:
https://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/by%20Subject/3303.0~2018~Main%20Features~Australia's%20leading%20causes%20of%20death,%202018~1
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4/2/2020 • 16 minutes, 52 seconds
2020 Mazda CX-5 upgrade problems: What were they thinking?
Mazda has updated CX-5 for 2020, but unfortunately, two of the top-billed 'upgrades' are fatally flawed. One is useless, and the other is just a really bad idea.
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3/31/2020 • 13 minutes, 3 seconds
Advice for couples on buying a used Volkswagen
It's a minefield, right? She wants a used Volkswagen Tiguan; he doesn't want a Volkswagen dealer commencing docking procedures with the matrimonial bank account...
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3/28/2020 • 12 minutes, 32 seconds
Honda backfoot: fixed-pricing, fewer dealers, new business model
Honda says it’s gonna get profitable here in Australia again, by slashing dealers and halving its sales. Yeah, good plan...
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3/25/2020 • 15 minutes, 30 seconds
2021 Kia Sorento update
New Kia Sorento debuts on Facebook following cancellation of Geneva Motor Show due to the zombie apocalypse…
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3/24/2020 • 14 minutes, 25 seconds
The truth: When your airbags don't deploy
Hundreds of people have apparently serious crashes in modern cars - and their life-saving airbags do not deploy. What gives?
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3/21/2020 • 14 minutes, 46 seconds
How to choose the right vehicle for long distance travel
In Australia we do tend to drive long distances - at least some of us. There's a lot of open space between urban centres in some regions.
Unfortunately, a lot of people choose vehicles optimised for (for example) off-roading and/or heavy towing, when the vast majority of driving they do is on highways and around town. The car they choose is thus intrinsically compromised - most of the time.
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3/19/2020 • 15 minutes, 42 seconds
How to save thousands at a car dealership new, used or demonstrator
This question (from a viewer) concerns a demonstrator, but this simple process (which you have to be a bit gutsy to do - but it's really not that difficult) can be used to save thousands on brand new and used cars as well.
You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain...
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3/14/2020 • 13 minutes, 51 seconds
Weight distribution & load levelling hitches for heavy towing (plus nuts)
If you think you can get away with towing an absurdly heavy or poorly levelled trailer with a cheap hack, think again. Weight distribution hitches and load-levelling hitches are not the get out of jail card you might be hoping for...
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3/11/2020 • 27 minutes, 25 seconds
Don't sign that new car contract: You'll lose all leverage...
In this report: Big difference between what you might be told when buying a new car, and what goes on the contract. Pro tip: What you're told is likely to be A) persuasive in nature, or B) flat-out coercive, and as a result C) it's highly likely to be bullshit.
It's what's in the contract that counts.
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11/24/2019 • 11 minutes, 57 seconds
Tesla Cybertruck: Elon Musk finally divorces reality...
The world’s most high profile bullshitting billionaire genius, Electric Jesus, sent Tesla shares into a six per cent tailspin when he recently unveiled a stainless steel joke without a punchline, at the Plug-in Scientology cult facility in Freemont, California.
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The world’s most high profile bullshitting billionaire genius, Electric Jesus, sent Tesla shares into a six per cent tailspin when he recently unveiled a stainless steel joke without a punchline, at the Plug-in Scientology cult facility in Freemont, California.
The so-called Tesla Cybertruck is essentially a Homer Simpson-designed stainless steel Humvee minus of course all connection to satire. It also has an element of mentally retarded stealth fighter about it also, I think you’d agree. It’s the perfect prank reveal, that wasn’t.
The ‘Stevie Wonder’ launch edition Cybertruck is expected to retail for $39,990 Retardistani Pesos for the poverty pack with just one electric motor, and rear drive. It’ll stretch up to just under 70 Retardistani big ones for the three-motor all-wheel drive version.
There’s a dual-motor AWD version as well, somewhere in the middle on price. Apparently the poverty version is good for 400 kilometres. The dual motor variant offers 480 kays of range and the tri-motor jobbie will take you 800 kilometres. But they’re all just just claims from the summit of Electric Bullshit Mountain at this stage, of course.
Like the much hyped Tesla Semi which, EJ assured us would be clogging the roads by now, the Cybertruck does not actually exist. So there’s still hope. It’s just a threat at this stage.
Speaking of which, Bullshit Six says the tri-motor Cybertruck will do 0-100 in 2.9 seconds. Which is rather fast. It’ll carry a payload of up to 1.6 tonnes and tow more than 3.4 tonnes. If you want the self-driving one that doesn’t really drive itself and isn’t actually autonomous, that’ll be a $7000 option.
It’s a six-seater, the body is made of (quote) “ultra-hard 30X cold-rolled stainless steel” which kinda explains the ridiculous shape. And of course it’s glazed with (quote) “armour glass”.
The English language: so friggin’ complex. However, at the reveal, when wannabe Tony Stark’s conscripted some - I dunno - some millennial piss boy from the cult to demonstrate the toughness of the vehicle’s illiterate glass by throwing a metal ball at it (which is not one of bulletproof glass’s toughest tests, I note) the window shattered. Twice. Yesssssss!
Which is just impossibly excellent as public spectacles go, I think you’d agree.
If you suspend all disbelief, you will ‘learn’ (if that’s the right word) that the new Tesla ‘Stealth Cockroach’ Stupidtruck will be offered with an electric ATV, the so-called Cyberquad, which Electric Jesus says will be available only as a genuine Cybertruck option. (Note to self - might need an extra charging point in the Fat Cave. Or not.)
So, if you’re a rich, environmentally evangelical dick with a dysfunctional relationship with aesthetics, who failed physics and seeks to save the planet by overconsuming absurd products that really won’t help, the new Tesla tri-motor Stevie Wonder Cybertruck and Cyberquad boxed set could be just right for you.
No plans have been announced for right-hand drive or ‘Strayan homologtion for the mighty Tesla Stupidtruck, and I think we can all thank the Lord, Electric Jesus, sincerely, for that.
11/23/2019 • 8 minutes, 33 seconds
Consumer Law Basics: How to fight the service department - and win
If your car has a problem and you're not getting it resolved at the dealership, here are the essential steps you must take.
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11/21/2019 • 15 minutes, 32 seconds
Starting a family: Do you really need an SUV? | Auto Expert John Cadogan
If you’re about to spit out a child and deliver just what humanity needs - a higher population count - yessssss! - buying an SUV is seen (by many) as the price of admission to Club Breeder. Keep watching, though, because this report will save you $5-$10k.
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This is all one question, but I get a hundred different flavours of this every month, so split it up into chunks, the better to slice and dice it once and for all.
"I need some help! We're about to have a baby and it's time to upgrade the wife's car (currently a VW Golf GTi) and get her something bigger and safer. I've been watching a lot of John's videos to narrow down the options. We want something new-ish (dealer demo or very low Ks). The wife is a tech-savvy car enthusiast who likes her cars to have a sporty feel/performance. She's also big into design and branding so looks (interior and exterior) play a big part. She's big on sunroofs (panoramic a bonus). She wants boot space (pram/shopping/suitcase). The upper limit of my budget is around $35K. I'm not really much of a car/brand man, so I just want bang for buck around a time where we're going down to one income and we can better use the money elsewhere."
How unlike a woman to want it all, despite racing up to a cliff of impending financial constraint…
So let’s weigh this up in the domain of objective facts: $35k is insufficient for a new/demo sporty, hi-tech, fully loaded, panoramic sunroofed SUV that’s objectively larger than a Golf (which is really a conventional ’small car’ segment entry like a Kia Cerato, Hyundai i30 or Corolla/Mazda3, etc). It’s a complete industry misnomer because the so-designated ‘small’ cars really are not that small.
Back to the demands of the sunroof-infatuated car-nut brand snob wife: Medium to large SUVs under $100k are not going to be as sporty as a Golf GTI. Obvious conclusion: It’s time to compromise.
Fact: The Golf and all other cars in this segment are large enough for a baby capsule, a pram, a suitcase and shopping. Especially as the rear seat split-folds. Cars in this segment are also quite safe.
My advice is: Get a pram and some shopping bags, and a suitcase, and experiment with the Golf. Leave the kerbside rear seat up (because you want to be taking your kid out of the car on the kerbside, for safety) and fold the other part of the rear seat down. Guess what? All that baby-related crap fits - without leaving the baby compromised.
So I’m really not seeing an objective reason to upgrade, beyond just a personal preference to join the ‘I spat out a baby and bought an SUV’ club.
Do remember: a nice, sporty SUV with all the toys - like a Tucson Highlander or a CX-5 Akera - is going to be around $50k. And that’s $15,000 more than you want to spend, on the cusp of sucking it up financially and going down to one income, at the same time as bringing a money-sucking diminutive human home from hospital.
11/19/2019 • 13 minutes, 52 seconds
Does the dealer delivery charge on new cars include international shipping?
Dealer delivery fee: Just look up at the clock on the wall in the dealership: It’s bullshit o’clock, again.
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Let us bust some entrenched car dealer and car industry bullshit:
My Local mini dealership in Brisbane is asking $3990 dealer delivery. MINI Australia suggests $2500. The Local dealer claims the dealer delivery fee comprises the sea freight/land transport form UK factory, to Brisbane, Australia. I’m highly doubtful of their claim. Please advise. - Allyn
Dealer delivery is a substantially bullshit charge - an entrenched industry rip-off. $4k ‘delivery’ on a $30k car - you’ve got to be kidding. The industry generally charges about $2000 foe so-called ‘delivery’ on mainstream cars, and heaps more than that if you’re too stupid to resist the proposed $15 grand on a Porsche, or $7000 on a Range Rover.
Just for disambiguation: The price here does not include international shipping. That’s just classic car dealer bullshit. Get them to show you an invoice where they pay the shipping. (Pro tip: such an invoice does not exist.)
The dealer does not ship the car to Australia. The importer does.
The dealer pays the importer a wholesale price for the car. This includes the car, the shipping cost, taxes, GST - whatever - when they buy the car to put it in stock, to sell to you. There is no separate shipping charge that is magically passed on separately. If it were, cars would be the only consumer item on earth with this quaint pricing structure.
Can you imagine buying a refrigerator for $1000, only to be told across the counter that you’ll need to spring for another $150 to cover the cost of shipping to Australia?
Can you imagine paying such a charge on a refrigerator, without question? Without evidence? Neither can I.
Dealer delivery is a fee for registering the car, screwing on the number plates, filling the tank, detailing the car and making sure it starts and runs. (If you’re lucky.)
Dealers will say it includes shipping from overseas, because otherwise the cost looks unjustifiably extortionate, which it is (especially at $4k for a friggin’ MINI). $500-$1000 is probably reasonable. Anything more is extortion in a velvet glove.
They don’t even deliver the car. You come in and collect it. So - classic falsehood right there.
This is one of those situations where you and the salesman are not equals. You have all the power in a new car negotiation, which is why they so like to take charge. But should you choose to take the upper hand you can - because you have the money, and there are dozens of other cars you could buy.
Make sure they know this. Offer - very generously - to pay them no more than $1000 for delivery. Make sure they know you’re walking out the door if they don’t agree, and don’t negotiate. Definitely don’t split the difference on this.
11/19/2019 • 7 minutes, 1 second
How hybrids really work (dealing with your Q&A)
Hybrid technology follow-up - some of you disagree with me on their underlying energy management voodoo. And that’s totally OK
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While I agree that a small diesel is best on the highway, I'd still say hybrids are better than standard petrol cars because they use Atkinson cycle engines. These engines are quite a lot more efficient than a standard petrol, but are low powered for their size, this doesn't matter as they have an electric motor to help out when you need to get up to speed quickly. - aussieguy69
I kind of agree with that - if you want fuel efficiency and not performance. Hybrids (and some other cars like the new Kia Seltos with 2.0-litre CVT powertrain) use the Atkinson cycle.
Atkinson is a thermodynamics hack - they leave the inlet valve open a bit longer and this ejects, by contra-flow, a little of the inlet air, from the cylinder. (It contra-flows back up the inlet port.) And that hacks the ratio of the compression ratio to the expansion ratio.
Atkinson cycle engines have less compression relative to their expansion, and that derives greater thermal efficiency - at the expense of peak power performance. So you typically don’t see Atkinson cycle engines on exciting cars.
My point about hybrids is that the regenerative braking is how they do their energy management voodoo. This - and not the Atkinson cycle - is what sets hybrids apart. Capturing kinetic energy under brakes, converting it to electricity and using it to get going again. That is hybrid’s big trick.
On the highway, where regenerative braking opportunities are minimised, it would be better if you could simply wave Harry Potter’s wand and magic away the whole electric side of the hybrid system - because in those conditions it really is just excess baggage.
If you want confirmation of this, look up the fuel figures and compare ordinary cars to hybrids. Hybrids are generally better on fuel around town than they are on the highway, even though urban driving is very energy inefficient driving (with lots of stop-start). The latest Corolla Hybrid, for example, uses 10 per cent more fuel out on the highway, compared with the ‘urban’ test.
It’s regenerative braking doing that, not the Atkinson cycle.
Aussieguy69 went on, representatively.
"Just one other thing, hybrids not only charge their batteries from regenerative braking, but they also charge from the engine if it's ever running but not under enough load to be most efficient.....then it turns the engine off and uses electricity until the battery is drained a bit, then re-starts the engine and repeats the process". - aussieguy69
Some hybrids will charge the battery with the internal combustion engine. Absolutely. Typically the ones with big batteries that rely on them heavily for conventional levels of motive power. This is also a nice idea, potentially, but unfortunately that’s not an example of energy management voodoo. It’s a compromise in hybrid vehicles where the electric side of the powertrain is designed to do a lot of the heavy lifting.
You really don’t get a thermodynamics or efficiency benefit from that - if you did, it would be a violation of the second law of thermodynamics. And that’s really just a happy fantasy.
11/19/2019 • 13 minutes, 52 seconds
Should you buy a 6th Generation Nissan Patrol in 2020?
Nissan has done the absolute minimum to refresh the 2020 Patrol. (But they have managed to go all-out botching the English language and applied science. So that’s nice.) And yet, the new Patrol might still be actually worth buying - full details next.
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Patrol is like kinda Joan Rivers - ongoing exterior upgrades, but same old bones. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. They’ve been quite durable. And so also with the Patrol. It’s pretty tough too.
This time around, all you get is: new lights, new bumpers and some bolt-on safety tech. Ugliness has gone up at least one order of magnitude - almost to elite LX 570 visual abomination levels. Especially the Ti-L. It’s bean beaten with the ugly stick, and left for dead.
Well done there.
No fundamental changes, however - same powertrain, same body. Significant price-hike.
Nissan Shitsville is simply milking Patrol for all it’s worth before phasing the old girl out, basically.
They’ve also changed the wheels - but they’re still 18s; just a different design - and added all the borderline-annoying safety features that the car industry is yet to think through properly. Like auto emergency braking, lane-keeping assistance, rear cross-traffic alert and blind-spot monitoring.
About the only worthwhile inclusion there is adaptive cruise control on the low-spec Patrol Ti. (Previous Ti-L already had that.) But brace for impact on the price, because it has ramped up again, for the third time in two years.
Let’s look at the economics, though, because that’s actually still pretty strong.
Top-spec Toyota Landcruiser Sahara diesel is a more or less direct competitor that costs $133,000, drive-away, and the latest Patrol Ti-L is $103,000.
Diesel Landcruisers offer more range on a full tank, and diesel is safer for refuelling at the roadside from portable containers, if you’re a proper outback adventurer beating the desert into submission, or something.
The diesel is also better for towing, obviously, with more peak torque, but the Patrol has more peak power, so it’s better for highway overtaking. And this ‘dusting’ issue does hang, like a cloud, over the Landcruiser.
Based on the official fuel tests, Landcruiser drinks 9.5 L/100km combined cycle, while the Patrol is 14.4. The $30,000 price difference and the consumption difference are interesting: Out there, in the future, there’s a point on the odometer where the Patrol buyer and the Landcruiser buyer reach fuel and capital cost equivalence.
The Patrol starts out cheaper and then the higher cost of fuel kicks in, while the Cruiser starts out expensive, but, kay-for-kay, you pay less for fuel. Have a guess how far you have to drive for those costs to become coincident?
It’s about 400,000 kays. So, ballpark estimate, for the first 10 laps of the planet, the Patrol buyer remains in front on price. This is a powerful incentive to prefer the Patrol, I must say. When you run the numbers.
11/16/2019 • 13 minutes, 39 seconds
Should you buy a hybrid car in 2020?
Should you buy a hybrid? This obviously depends on you - what you want and how you drive - and this report is inspired by common questions from people like you. Full details next.
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Toyota and to a lesser degree Hyundai have really inspired many mainstream new car buyers right now to consider a hybrid for the first time. Toyota with the hype surrounding the new RAV4 Hybrid (pity about the production botch there) but also with the company’s affordable Corolla Hybrid and the Prius, which has become the Coca-Cola of hybrids, owing to smart positioning and long-term market presence.
Hyundai also lobbing relatively recently with the Ioniq - which was just upgraded. As well as a straight EV version, Ioniq is available in two flavours of hybrid - the self-charging one that recharges the battery with regenerative braking, and the PHEV Ioniq, which also recharges by plugging into the grid (optionally).
So, more people than ever are considering hybrids for the first time. Tim Bosher is one of them:
We live in regional Vic. My wife drives about 100k per week locally and has a weekly 250k return trip to the city at freeway speeds - so her annual k's are a bit over the average. I have asked a couple of dealers about the pros & cons of hybrid cars for the above type of driving mix and their responses seem to be largely bullshit. What is your take - and when does the price premium for hybrids make them a realistic proposition. - Tim Bosher
Here’s the answer that lines up with reality: hybrids do their energy management voodoo by regeneratively braking. When you brake or even just coast to slow down, they convert some kinetic energy to electricity and store it in a battery to help you get going again, presumably when the lights go green.
It is proper energy management voodoo - if you use Arthur C Clarke’s epic definition for magic. And if you don’t: look it up. It’s awesome.
Hybrids are therefore far more effective at saving fuel driving around town. Because that’s where you do all the voodoo-invoking coasting and braking. On the freeway, all the hybrid equipment - the battery and the motor, and the control and management architecture - it all tends just to become excess baggage. It’s just not very effective ‘out there’.
In Tim’s case, 70 per cent of his wife’s driving is on the freeway, so she’d probably get a better result on fuel economy and emissions in a small diesel car, like an i30 diesel. Because diesels really stretch their fuel economy legs on the freeway - and that kind of driving is just ‘Goldilocks’ for keeping the DPF (the diesel particle filter) happy and healthy.
PHEV is a hybrid with a bigger than usual battery that you can plug in overnight and recharge. So it’s kinda BEV + ICE as a range extender, as the good doc says, but I’d categorise it more as a Hybrid with a big battery that gives it additional, but still extremely short-distance, low demand battery-only operating capability. That’s generally how they roll.
You might get 30 or 40 kays of battery-only operation at low loads - but if you pull out to overtake, the internal combustion engine will kick in. Because the electric side of the plug-in hybrid is only good for low to moderate performance.
On the battery - in a PHEV it’s a big battery in the context of hybrids but still small for an EV. Batteries are so expensive, which is why, for example the PHEV Hyundai Ioniq is so much cheaper than the full-on Ioniq EV.
11/15/2019 • 13 minutes, 39 seconds
What's behind the 2020 Chevy Corvette's sky-high Australian pricetag?
Supercar-shaped Corvette headed to Shitsville in 2020. Yesssssss! It'll cost about $170,000.
Jesus.
Same car in Retardistan: $60 grand US (which is about $90k ‘Strayan).
So: Who’s gouging who?
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This report is inspired by a dude named Chris Papa, by e-mail.
"Could you detail Luxury Car Tax and other hidden fees? The 2020 Chevrolet Corvette is set to arrive in Australia in RHD. Its estimated retail price here will be about $170,000. This is preposterous considering that in the US the 2020 Corvettes will retail for around USD $60,000 and converted to AUD that equates to approximately $87,000.
"Why is there such an outrageous markup (of about 100 per cent)? How much of that is LCT? What would the rest of the cost be made up of? Why are carmakers (desperate to make more sales and some with very deep pockets) not lobbying the Australian Federal Government to abolish LCT?" - Chris Papa
Just to get the finances out of the way here: Australia has a free-trade agreement with Retardistan. That’s been in place for nearly 15 years, so to the best of my knowledge there’s no protective import duty on US cars. Nor is there import duty on cars from Japan, Thailand or South Korea - for the same reason.
So the vast majority of cars on sale in Australia currently are import duty-free.
Luxury car tax is indexed so the threshhold increases every year with the CPI. It’s currently imposed on conventional cars over $67,525, or allegedly green cars over $75,526. In both cases it’s an additional 33 per cent on the amount of that car’s value over the threshhold.
So if you run the numbers on that, ballpark, if the 2020 Shitsville Corvette is $170,000 - that equates to about $25,000 in luxury car tax. Meaning the cost of the Corvette minus LCT is about $145,000.
So, ballpark again: if the same car in Retardistan is $90k, there’s a $55k disparity between the Retardistan Corvette and ours. Part of that is going to be amortising the cost of gearing up for right-hand drive production over the number of right-drive units they think they’ll produce.
There’s not too many right-drive markets - there’s us, Japan, the UK, Macau. But essentially the bulk of Corvettes are going to be left-hookers. So that’s part of it. The rest is just GM’s internal pricing structure and what they think they can get away with here.
You can look at it like a gouge if you want, but the Corvette is going to be faster - a lot faster, at least in a straight line - than a car like a BMW M4, which is about the same price. And it’s a lot cheaper than a proper mid-engined supercar.
Still got that legendary GM build quality, however. Which could be entertaining.
Just for perspective, the ‘poverty’ 911 Porsche (not strictly speaking mid-engined) is about $230k here in Shitsville. Exactly the same car with the wheel on the same side, in Brexitpotamia is $155k (including 20 per cent VAT). The povvo 911 is $60k more than the Corvette, as well as being more than a second slower to 100. So there’s that.
If you want that level of performance, it’s cheap at $170,000.
11/11/2019 • 16 minutes, 20 seconds
The problem with Nissan and Mazda in Australia
Nissan and Mazda - dead from the neck up, sadly. Kinda like a cockroach minus its head.
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Five or six weeks ago, I fired a broadside into Nissan when the company - through its local dealer - sought to dodge what I viewed as its consumer law obligations. It attempted to stitch up a shitbox leaf owner, Philip Carlson, to the tune of $33,000 for a replacement Nissan Leaf battery, which in my view should have been replaced for free under Australian Consumer Law.
Happily enough, 170,000 people just like you watched those two Nissan reports, to date. For a total of 1.4 million minutes. Which is, to me, a brain bender. It’s a total eyeballs-on-screen engagement of 2.6 years worth of cumulative watch time, distributed among 170,000 people. Potential car buyers.
Exactly one month later I covered the case of Mazda being dragged to the ankle-grabbing room - I mean: Federal Court - by the ACCC for alleged deception and unconscionable conduct. Also quite serious, if proven.
Two videos there. 130,000 viewers - eyeballs glued to the screen for a total of just over one million minutes. (That’s almost two years.)
In these reports, I urged you to write to Nissan’s and Mazda’s chief spin doctors, Karla Leach and Mark Flintoft, respectively, politely but firmly to deliver unequivocally what you thought about each company’s conduct.
And I know hundreds of you e-mailed these two PR types - because dozens and dozens of you CC’d me on those e-mails. And I was extremely gratified by the polite tone and well thought out, reasoned, rational arguments I saw.
You know what didn’t happen - to the absolute best of my knowledge? No response from Mazda or Nissan to you.
So, let’s say you are a PR type, and one day, without warning, your inbox fills up with critical feedback from the public. This is in your wheelhouse.
What do you do? Do you pretend it’s just not happening and concentrate instead on keeping your sinister clutch of tame journalists and influencers happy, and maintain your platinum frequent flier status, which, let’s face it, is quite important?
I really don’t think ‘deafening silence’ is an option. Here’s why: if somebody out there, in the public, takes the time to write what they think, to you, politely and respectfully, as the CC’d e-mails I received were, and they send it to you … then I’d suggest there’s a level of quite strong commitment behind that stated position embodied in those actions.
For the recipient - the spin doctor - it’s a binary proposition: You can choose to respond, or not. And hey - if you respond it doesn’t have to be bespoke. It can be canned, cut and paste, and the intern can filter your e-mails and send back the canned responses, but at least it’s a friggin’ response.
I’d suggest that every critical e-mail is the chance to turn someone around, and this is the business you spin doctors are in. ‘We understand your concerns, we hear what you’ve said, and here’s what we’re doing to address the issue.’ How f-ken hard is it?
Electing not to respond is a gold-plated guarantee of the sender inferring you are a worthless mother-lover who does not give a fuck what they think. And that’s exactly what has occurred here, I suspect. Because not one of the 300,000 people who viewed those reports sent me an e-mail with Nissan’s nor Mazda’s responses in it, nor posted the same in the comments feed. Conclusion: It didn’t happen.
11/10/2019 • 13 minutes, 8 seconds
BMW says 'stop driving our cars immediately' (new Takata airbag scandal)
BMW says: Stop driving our cars. Right now. Literally: Put down the keys and walk to the nearest taxi, and we’ll pick up the tab. Full details next.
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Here’s some confronting news for you, if you own an ageing 3 Series BMW: In an unprecedented move, BMW Shitsville is urging the owners of 12,663 E46 3 Series BMWs - built between 21 November 1997 and June 30, 2000 to stop driving those vehicles immediately. As in, today. Now.
According to Rod Sims’s henchman - henchperson - at the ACCC, Delia Rickard:
“Because of the critical level of risk, the ACCC urges people to stop driving their vehicle immediately and to contact BMW to arrange to have their vehicle inspected as soon as possible.”
I’d suggest that conservative corporations and regulators in this sphere, such as BMW and the ACCC respectively, do not use terms like ‘immediately’ and ‘critical level of risk’ frivolously. Safe to assume this message is not clickbait.
A new type of defective Takata airbag has been linked to what the ACCC is calling (quote) “an abnormal pattern of airbag deployments in Australia, Japan and the US”.
Bottom line: the Takata airbag recall just got slightly bigger, and somewhat more serious. It’s being reported that these specific airbags have been linked to one death and one serious injury here - authorities are being a little cagey about the details surrounding that, however, because the death remains a matter before the coroner.
The ACCC and BMW are collaborating and co-operating on this. There’s no suggestion of any wrongdoing on the part of BMW.
You can check the VIN code online to see if your ageing 3 Series is affected at recall.bmw.com.au (repeat). Or call 1800 243 675 (repeat) - that’s a dedicated BMW airbag recall hotline - or drop into (or call) your local dealer. In a taxi. Keep the receipt. Or, better still:
“BMW will arrange to tow your vehicle to repair facilities for inspection, or send a mobile technician out to your premises or vehicle’s location to inspect the vehicle.” - ACCC
And here’s my favourite part of this story:
“If your vehicle has been fitted with one of these dangerous airbags, BMW will arrange a loan or hire car or reimbursement for alternative transportation costs until airbag replacement parts are available or until other arrangements are made. You may also wish to discuss the vehicle being purchased back by BMW.” - ACCC
This is an example of rock solid corporate conduct - a rarity in the car industry here, I think you’d agree.
These affected vehicles are two decades old, but nobody’s being left out in the cold, and BMW is picking up the tab. You want to see robust commitment to the customer? This is it. Even if that customer is the second, third or fourth owner.
I’m really not sure we’d see the same level of ethical conduct from the Monkey-gassers at the Volkswagen Group, or the three-pronged Swastika specialists at Daimler. So - complete respect for doing the right thing on this occasion.
It could take the BMW as long as 18 months to replace any defective airbags - and that’s simply gotta be a supply issue. Hence the offer for loan and hire cars, taxi reimbursement, and/or buybacks.
11/9/2019 • 10 minutes, 53 seconds
Q&A Friday - your automotive questions answered
In this episode I took my new YouTube live-streaming setup out of the blocks for the first time - properly out of the blocks, and decided to do a whole half-hour segment entirely ad-lib, answering your questions.
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11/8/2019 • 33 minutes, 57 seconds
The relative merits of the Kia Cerato GT versus the Hyundai i30 N Line
This episode was an opportunity to test-drive my new live-streaming 3-camera video studio and also get inside the head of the kinds of issues that do new-car buyers' heads in...
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11/7/2019 • 21 minutes, 10 seconds
This one car servicing mistake can cost you thousands
Vlog-style report today - it's not every day you have to pick up a $350k luxury saloon, and deal with people who seem hell-bent on shooting themselves in the foot in the service department.
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"Regrettably, my 2015 Captiva has a (potentially) blown turbo. I am taking it to Holden next week for it to be assessed. Luckily my car is still under warranty. Will my turbo be replaced under warranty?"
So I’m not going to use the guy’s name here, because I don’t want to embarrass him or affect the drama playing out at the dealership. And in response to him, I explained that warranty covers manufacturing defects and premature failures.
So, if you have your car serviced on time and you don’t abuse it, these kinds of defects are almost certain to be covered under warranty. If you don’t get it serviced properly then they’re standing on a pretty strong foundation when they tell you the repair bill is going to be your problem.
So I asked our hero about the service history - and the response I got made me feel a little like Neo, taking the red pill.
"I got the car regularly serviced at the kms but not in line with the months. For example, when it was due for the 75,000km/45-month service, it was serviced at 76,500km/50 months. Would that be a risk to a warranty claim? The car had never been abused just driven as a family car."
It’s the time or the distance - whichever comes first. That’s absolutely clear in all the documentation. ‘I didn’t know’ is not a defence. Most modern cars have a service indicator - a message pops up and says ‘service due now’.
There’s absolutely no ambiguity about what that means.
A massive five months late on the time. Jesus. Five months… (That’s owner abuse, even if you drive like Liz Regina’s in the back, every day.)
So this is the bit where I explain to the punter that bracing for significant financial impact seems prudent. If you’re ever in this position I wouldn’t mention the service history - but it’s gunna take a miracle of Biblical proportion for them to overlook that.
You simply must get services done on time - meaning time or distance - whichever occurs first - otherwise it does constitute owner abuse. The average car in Australia drives just under 15,000 kilometres a year, and that means about half of all cars subject to 12-month/15,000-kilometre service intervals are going to have the time come up before the distance.
The other thing to realise is that the time component is not a rip-off. If you don’t drive that much, this is hell on earth for engine oil. Lots of impurities get into your oil, thanks to not very much full-temperature operation between each cold start. This is very bad for your engine. It’s why they engineer in a time component in the first place.
And you can’t negotiate this away, no matter how clever an orator you are. It’s not a debate. Servicing is a black and white obligation.
If you fail to meet these obligations and you’re looking at a massive bill, about all you can do is think about getting a decent independent mechanic to do the repairs, because that’s gunna be thousands of dollars cheaper than a dealership, and you could also think about fitting a quality, aftermarket turbo for the same reason.
11/5/2019 • 22 minutes, 56 seconds
Should you still consider buying a Mazda in 2020?
Should you still buy a new Mazda in light of the ACCC’s unconscionable conduct consumer law court case?
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Lot of response to Friday’s report on the ACCC’s festive Mazda-reaming legal preparations.
"Weren’t you recommending Mazda over other brands? Or is it a case of do you want to be shot once with a 22 or six times with a 357 magnum?" - Anon Amos
To those of you who are confused or uncertain about where I stand on this, and whether or not to buy a new Mazda, now, or in 2020: I’d say decide for yourself, but to me it plays out like this:
The engineering from Mazda is typically first-rate. Mazda today is what Honda was in the 1990s - the BMW of the east, essentially. BMW would probably disagree there. Whatever. 21st Century Mazda is a real driver of mainstream automotive innovation.
The ACCC’s allegations point to a culture of poor customer service within the organisation, here in Arse-trailer, and if true, that is a serious problem. This is yet to be determined by a court. You might infer a line between smoke and fire here, but sometimes smoke is just smoke. We’ll have to see.
Mazda is reacting to the ACCC’s court case now. It’s inconceivable that, in addition to making defensive bullshit public statements in respect of the pending court case, that a series of far more serious commercial meetings and confidential communications is not also taking place at Mazda right now.
One of those meetings would be about making sure the ACCC does not get any more cannon fodder from customers who get stiffed this week, next week, and into the future. Like, let’s not give the regulator any more ammunition.
If you were Big Bhindi - boss of Mazda Shitsville - do you think you might send an urgent communique to all your dealers directing them to be model citizens of customer compliance and complaint resolution, henceforth? I think you probably would. I certainly would.
So, in short, because of the excellence of the engineering, the high-level regulatory scrutiny, and the perfect storm of depressed sales generally compounded by what I’m sure will be a stampede of customers away from Mazda following the ACCC’s high profile press conference last week, I actually think it’s a pretty solid time to buy a Mazda.
The product has always been pretty good, and recent events suggest to me that consumer law compliance is likely to improve dramatically from today.
I know that’s counterintuitive - or at least that’s how it might seem to you - but I don’t want to punish Mazda. Mazda’s commercial success or failure is a matter for them.
I think compliance will improve from today, and the product remains excellent.
The icing on the cake here is: If you give it a couple of weeks, and there is a profound drop in enquiry across Mazda dealerships, the end of this month will be a real opportunity for you to secure an excellent deal on a new Mazda.
11/3/2019 • 10 minutes, 57 seconds
2020 Mitsubishi Triton (L200) review & buyer's guide
Triton's a quiet achiever with decent performance and a proven track record of good reliability and support - unlike most other utes in the market
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The current model Mitsubishi 'L200' Triton is one of two 4x4 utes I routinely recommend and this one is even better than before thanks to a mid-life makeover.
The Triton is number three 4x4 ute in the country behind the Toyota Hilux and Ford Ranger, but is ahead of the Holden Colorado.
Since the Triton began production 40 years ago they’ve managed to sell 4.7 million units. It’s a profound automotive success any way you carve that figure.
The first thing about Triton is its nice, tractable 2.4-lite turbo diesel engine
Pricing and features make the Triton worth a good look, as does the long warranty and extended service interval. I get complaints about plenty of utes, from owners getting hung out to dry - typically Rangers and Colorados. Triton is the exact opposite. The few complaints I've had over Triton in the past few years were mainly dealers behaving badly - once they were made aware, Mitsubishi Motors resolved them pretty quickly.
11/2/2019 • 28 minutes, 26 seconds
Australian corporate watchdog sues Mazda for "unconscionable conduct"
In breaking news: the ACCC just woke up. Amazing. Plus, they’ve invited Mazda to a public ankle-grabbing contest. Act now, because front row seats to this one are certain to sell out fast.
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The ACCC has decided to sue Mazda Australia Dickheads Proprietry Limited for alleged breaches of consumer law and behaving like unprincipled cocks generally in relation to customer support.
Apparently the ACCC has assembled a conga line of disgruntled customers - I think they call them ‘witnesses’ now - stretching over the horizon, back to 2013, and the watchdog says Mazda Dickheads could not fix the problems, fobbed them off to case managers who were completely ineffective, lied about the severity of faults, and told the affected owners they were not entitled to refunds - which is such bullshit, but pretty typical for the Shitsvillian car industry.
“We allege that Mazda repeatedly refused to provide a refund or a replacement at no cost to the consumers and pressured them to accept lesser offers which were made by Mazda only after multiple failures of the vehicles and repeated attempted repairs.” - Rod Sims
This is the one that does my head in: The ACCC says in cases of protracted problems, instead of offering a refund or a free replacement vehicle, which is what the law demands, Mazda customers were offered less money than their cars were actually worth as a buyback - and then, Mazda arseholes put owners under extreme pressure to accept their bullshit offers, by claiming the offers were short-term and final.
The mafia does business this way.
11/1/2019 • 19 minutes, 56 seconds
2020 Kia Seltos review & buyer's guide
If you’re thinking about buying a Kia Seltos - here’s everything you need to know.
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As usual, Kia conscripted its on-call dynamics wizard to do his mad, Jedi voodoo and turn the conventional vomit-spec South Korean suspension into what is actually an outstanding platform to drive on our preposterously crap ‘Strayan roads.
The drive program on the launch was on mainly these B and C roads around Noosa, and I’d have to say the body control and steering feedback is excellent. So, big tick there.
There was probably 90 minutes of freeway driving as well - it’s quiet and composes at 110.
Interestingly enough - this vehicle has a next-generation motor driven power steering assistance system. That means an electrical servo motor provides the steering assistance. It detects input from you, and a computer tells it how much to help. That’s when you’re turning in.
But when you’re on the way out of a bend, MDPS typically defaults to ‘off’ and the self-centring steering effect you feel (If any) is just mechanical control feedback.
But in this system, the motor also provides self-centring feedback assistance. It’s really excellent.
Here’s the range. You get S, Sport, Sport+ and GT-Line in order of increasing appeal and price. 2.0-litre CVT only on S and Sport. 1.6 Turbo only on GT-Line. But you can have either engine in Sport+.
So the fuel economy powertrain is available in the first three variants. The performance powertrain on the top two. They overlap at Sport+.
Here’s how you tell the four variants apart like an automotive ninja. (This is gunna help at the dealership when they jam one under your snout for a test drive - if you know this, you cannot be bullshat to about which one you’re driving. And before you say it in the comments: ‘bullshat’ is the past participle of the verb ‘to bullshit’.)
The poverty S model rolls on steel wheels. That’s dead easy to spot. If you’re looking at a Seltos with alloy wheels and a folding key, it’s a Sport.
If it’s got 17-inch alloys and a pushbutton start it’s Sport+ and if it’s got 18-inch alloys (with a bright red highlight around the hub) and a head-up display, it’s a GT-Line.
There’s more safety gear on Sport+ and GT-Line, but you can get that on S and Sport for $1000 as an option.
So, I’m not going to bore you with the spec sheet - but the salient observations arising from the spec sheet are:
S is a real poverty pack. Anything that can be removed to cut costs basically has been, and this is done primarily to appease the great cheapskates of the automotive universe: Fleet managers.
It’s a big step - $3500 - to go from S to Sport, but it’s well worth it for a private owner. You get alloys, a full-sized spare, the big centre infotainment screen, SUNA live traffic and 10 years of free mapcare updates (and, I’m assured, there are no strings attached to that - you just get the updates when they’re available).
Sport+ is the pick of the range - because you get adaptive cruise and the better safety gear standard. Plus front parking sensors, nicer interior, proximity key. And it’s $5500 cheaper than GT-Line, which is loaded with all the nice toys, certainly, but do you really need all that stuff? Probably not.
I’d strongly suggest you buy the 1.6 turbo if sporty engaging driving matters to you. The CVT that goes with the 2.0-litre is a little bit frustrating for enthusiastic driving. It displays this noticeable re-engagement lag, getting on the gas when you clip an apex and want to start feeding the power on smoothly.
10/20/2019 • 26 minutes, 49 seconds
Model Year (MY) Vs build date Vs compliance date Vs 1s rego: cracking the code of carmaker's calendars
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Today's question:
"New cars have a build date and a compliance plate. If a car has an August 2019 build date and the same year for compliance, how can it be a 2020 Model? My daughter is buying a car and it is supposed to be a 2020 model but both plates are showing 2019. Your help please." - Daryl
There are four dates: the build date (which is self-explanatory - that’s when your car rolls off the production line) plus the compliance date (when the compliance plate goes on) the Model Year (or MY) and the first registration date.
Build date - easy. Compliance date - that really just tells you which version of the regulations the car complies with. There’s all these compliance standards for everything from emissions to the placement of headlamps and tail lights. We call them ADRs (Australian Design Rules).
These days, ADRs are really just cut-and-paste Retardistani or Eurotrash regulations (called FMVSSs or UN ECE regulations, respectively). There might be the odd exception, but the regulations are essentially globally homogenised to reduce compliance cost in particular markets.
Compliance regulations evolve over time, so the compliance plate basically draws a line in the sand and says ‘here’s the time stamp for regulatory compliance for this vehicle’. Compliance date really doesn’t matter much to owners.
Then there’s Model Year - which does a lot of people’s heads in. This concept of Model Year was invented by the Retardistanis, which explains a lot. So, in general, a MY20 (2020 model year) cars start getting built in the fourth quarter of 2019.
It’s completely arbitrary. MY19 cars can be identical to MY20, or there might be a refresh, or a minor spec upgrade with 2020, or MY20 could herald the introduction of an all-new vehicle. Often, there’s no change.
Historically, the fourth quarter adoption of the following model year was to give sufficient lead time to things like TV advertising. This was in, like, the 1950s, when things took time - before the world got hooked on crack and because the delight we experience daily.
And then there’s first registration date - which is when you buy the car. Pretty simple.
So, right now, in October 2019 you can be looking at an MY20 car built in August 2019.
So - four different dates. And here’s where you need to look out, and protect yourself. At trade-in time, the dealer is likely to use the build date to talk you down on price. If he gets this bullshit proposition across the line, and you buy it, he adds another year’s worth of depreciation to the trade-in equation and guts you just a little bit harder.
Then he details the car and sells it as a 2020 model. Because … hey, there’s a body of evidence in support of the thesis that car dealers are just immoral cocks.
Just be firm.
Right at the moment there’s a potential minefield out there. Holden, for example, has thousands of cars on ice, essentially rotting away in paddocks because nobody wants them. I’m sure you can buy an allegedly brand new 2017 model if you look hard enough.
Volkswagen is defecating in its trousers right now, too, because they have a surplus of unsold 2018 Touaregs on hand - so you’ll get a discount there if you achieve ‘polite arsehole’ negotiator status.
But on these old ‘brand new’ shitheaps, the problem is: trade-in. What’s the benefit of saving five grand up front if the trade-in costs you an additional $5k in depreciation? You would have been better off in a brand new, brand new car.
10/13/2019 • 20 minutes, 12 seconds
Buying a Ford Ranger: 3.2 inline 5-cyl diesel Vs 2.0 bi-turbo diesel
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The 2.0 biturbo engine has to work a lot harder per unit capacity, and when you look at its power delivery, it’s fair to say that it’s delivering only slightly more power than the 3.2 up to 3000rpm (where the 3.2 peaks, at 147kW).
The 2.0 revs 25 per cent higher and delivers another 10kW when it gets there (157kW at 3750rpm), which is a significant increase, but not earth-shattering. It’s seven per cent more power.
So, when the 3.2 is making its peak power, it’s delivering about 45.9 kilowatts per litre. At full noise the 2.0 is delivering 78.5 kilowatts per litre. So, per litre, the little engine is working 70 per cent harder. They’re revving it higher and pumping more air in as well. Because that’s how you do it. Power is proportional to revs, if you can maintain the torque production, and more air equals more fuel, equals more torque.
There’s no evidence that this heavier workload is going to lead to premature wear or failure - because you can hedge against that in R&D. But it’s working hard, and if you go that way, keep the services up to it - and maybe change the oil more frequently than you need to if you drive it in harsh conditions - because turbos are very hard on oil.
Also, the 10-speed auto is likely to make for smoother delivery of tractive effort in most conditions. In a sense it’ll amplify the additional torque at the crank in the 2.0 at just about all the common driving speeds. The extra ratios really just allow the engine to be at the ‘Goldilocks’ revs for each permutation of load, demand and road speed. When I say ‘load’ I mean ‘driving uphill’ or overtaking against inertial resistance, and when I say ‘demand’ I really just mean how hard you’re pressing on the accelerator.
This greater availability of ratios will also be better for fuel economy when you’re not driving hard. That’s evident in the official fuel tests, which involve laboratory standardised very conservative driving: 7.4 for the 2.0 and 8.9 for the 3.2. If you drive them like you stole them, or sling something really heavy behind, and expect fuel economy to plummet, and the 2.0 will be line ball with the 3.2.
The 2.0 is slightly lighter overall, too - about 33 kilos. Not enough to make a real difference, but a bit less mass over the front axle.
The engines themselves are pretty closely matched up to about 3000rpm - but the 2.0TT does have a slight edge. You can tell that just by looking at the peak torque figures for each engine.
On the downside the 2.0-litre, 10-speed powertrain is relatively unproven because it has not been deployed in market long enough to draw long-term reliability conclusions. The 2.0 was released in July 2018. So at this point - 15 months in, on the 2.0 biturbo Ranger experiment - we don’t really have any data about the long-term viability of that powertrain. It hasn’t been a disaster yet, however.
The 3.2 five-cylinder/six-speed is, on the other hand, a low-stressed engine and it’s been a fairly problem-free package.
If it were my cash, I’d but the 3.2 right now - and the difference in price would go a long way to funding the hard cover and bullbar. But you should take them both for a drive and see if you think the 2.0TT is significantly better for you.
If you’re a ‘go with the flow’ kind of driver, the 2.0 is probably going to be overkill - in the sense that you won’t be exploiting the engine’s maximum performance very often, if at all. Certainly the towing assignment here is reasonably conservative in the context of the vehicle’s maximum tow capacity (but 2.7 tonnes is still a very heavy thing…).
10/12/2019 • 21 minutes, 18 seconds
Top 6 latest epic Tesla 'fails'
Here are six of the best contemporary Tesla ‘own goals’:
ONE
Currently trending on Google: the term ‘Tesla Summon fail’.
Unfortunately, the internet is filling up with inconvenient videos following Smart Summon going horribly awry. Just search ‘Tesla Summon fail’ on YouTube and be amazed.
Teslas running themselves into the garage, Teslas smacking themselves into some other car, or just acting flat-out retarded because the system cannot cope with the complexities of reality.
To Electric Jesus I would pray: ‘Lord, how about you stop beta-testing dogshit tech that’s little more than a nice idea, on the public?’
TWO
Model X’s power front doors feel resistance upon opening, perhaps when frozen solid by ice, a black obelisk pops out to break the ice and free the door, and then retracts in two or three seconds.
Unfortunately there’s a hole in the Icebreaker big enough for a five-year-old girl’s finger.
Her name is Milana Izzetov. She did what kids do, inquisitively enough, and the Icebreaker turned into a finger breaker and little girl trap. It took an emergency crew two excruciating hours to free Milana Izzetov from the Tesla Icebreaker.
THREE
Remember when EJ called Vernon Unsworth a pedophile? Unsworth is the Thai cave rescue hero and a Member of the British Empire.
EJ offered Unsworth his hastily constructed, dodgy minisub, which Unsworth dismissed as (quote) “a publicity stunt”.
Billionaires hate being dismissed, so EJ called Unsworth a (quote) “pedo guy” on Twitter, and Buzzfeed says he also called Unsworth a (quote) “child rapist”.
Buzzfeed says, earlier this month, that instead of ‘EJ Billionaire’ just paying the guy off quietly, and shutting this down with an NDA (ie, the smart move) it emerges that EJ (and/or EJ’s team) hired a private detective and paid him a lazy $50,000 to dig into Unsworth…
...presumably to uncover any hidden ‘pedo’ gems which might be buried there, in the past.
The glace cherry on the icing on the “pedo guy” cake of private investigation is he's actually a convicted criminal who stole about half a million US dollars from the company he co-founded. He was convicted and served 18 months of a three-year sentence.
FOUR
Investment luminary Ben McGarry of Totus Capital makes a compelling argument based on data that Tesla stock fits into the category he describes as (quote) “fads, frauds and failures”. Poor governance is one of McGarry’s red flags.
“In 2018, Tesla's board of directors was the second highest-paid board in the USA. Elon's brother Kimball, a chef, was paid $6.8 million to sit on the board last year.” - Ben McGarry, Totus Capital
It just made me wonder: Can you see how Kimbal Musk might possibly add US$6.8 million worth of value to Tesla?
FIVE:
A 57-year-old paid-up member of Electric Scientology recently crashed his Tesla in Austria.
It caught fire, because lithium-ion batteries are quite enthusiastic at that.
The road was closed, but to make the vehicle safe for transport, they had to bring in a special container. And, by ‘special container’ I really mean ‘ersatz portable swimming pool’.
A 24-cubic metre steel box 6.8 by 2.4 by 1.5, designed to hold a burning EV sitting in 11 tonnes of water (11,000 litres).
SIX Semi? What Semi?
And finally, the Semi. The mighty Semi. It’s still not here. Supposed to be here right now. Walmart and Pepsi have slapped down big orders… and the Church of Electric Scientology is now saying … your flight to heavy hauling EV heaven has been delayed … by about a year.
10/8/2019 • 20 minutes, 58 seconds
Holden posts lowest sales ever! (+ Sept new car sales market wrap)
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‘Holden posts lowest monthly sales since 1948.’ Kinda says it all, really. Just 2863 sales in September - lowest result in 71 years. And that’s after Detroit disinterred and re-animated Dave Buttner - it was all very ‘Frankenstein’.
Incidentally, February, April and July this year were also record monthly lows for Holden. I’m sensing a pattern. And that pattern would be that not even Deadpool’s dad, the former boss of Toyota Shitsville, can pump water out of the bilges fast enough. The iceberg was just too big...
Expect more Holden dealership closures in coming months as the brand continues to slide further into obscurity. And whatever you do, don’t buy one - in an environment like this, you’re setting yourself up for a resale disaster.
Tung Nguyen. And the Academy award for best male porn star name ever by a motoring journalist, goes to the Carsguide news editor, Tung Nguyen - yesssssss!
Anyway, Deep Tung (as I would call Mr Nguyen if we shared an office) Deep Tung went on to transcribe Holden’s bullshit excuses for dropping the ball so badly in September.
According to a Holden bullshit excuse monger, there was a delay selling some Colorados to fleet and rental customers. Deep Tung also transcribed this epic bullshit excuse:
“...and a significant sell down of dealer demonstrator inventory as a result of our demonstrator clearance sale.”
If a Holden bullshitter had ‘explained’ this to be, I would have retorted with ‘How ill-informed do you think I am?’
See, sales figures don’t actually track sales. Of course. The car industry is in fact a movie I would call ‘Bullshit Inception’ - it’s bullshit inside bullshit inside bullshit - little Russian dolls carved out of bullshit - all the way down to the quantum level.
Sales figures actually track registrations. So, when a month looks like going bad, for a carmaker, the mother ship tells all its dealers to go out and register, like, 10 cars.
If you’ve got 200 dealers, that’s 2000 additional registrations that get chalked up as sales, and they go on the books as demonstrators even though most never get driven.
Then the mother ship pays the dealer a back-hander to sell the demonstrators at a discount, seeing as it’s no longer worth as much as a new car. So, essentially, that makes the carmaker look better in that month, but it engineers an even bigger slump the next month, potentilly, and it is therefore a very short-term sales strategy.
So, if you’re a proper journalist, the pro tip there would be to call them on it. Because this is what happens when you cook the books in August and it bites you on the arse in September. Because the fundamental problem is the cat’s out of the bag on Holden’s appalling conduct vis-a-vis the factory closure almost two years ago today.
Clever advertising can’t right the ship. I know this because Holden even released a brand new advertising campaign at considerable expense, detailing the joys of Holden SUV ownership. A Holden Heist, they called it. ‘This is how we SUV.’ (As if ‘SUV’ is a fucking verb…)
Very nicely shot. Expensive. Stabilized rigs on cars. Couple of nice drone shot inserts. Wouldn’t be surprised if they dusted off three or four Arri Alexas or the Red Weapon Heliums. (It’s very good, production-wise. Almost Hollywood. But, at the same time, nauseating.)
It’s a bullshit concept. They’re selling vehicles nobody wants. Under a brand they burned. Most of us know the real Holden heist involved the Australian taxpayer - and not even the most accomplished ad agency in the world could shove that down my throat and make it taste like fois gras…
10/6/2019 • 16 minutes, 14 seconds
How the Nissan Leaf ruined the dream of EV ownership
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On the first of October I brought you Phillip Carlson, a Canberra-based engineer, who bought a shitbox Leaf in 2012. Today he says it’s down to just 40 kilometres per charge, or 25 in winter with the heater on. So it’s little more than heavily depreciated roadside furniture at that point.
That shitbox has a design defect. There’s no heat exchanger protecting the battery. So it gets too hot, and it dies early - especially in warm environments, where the mercury regularly nudges 40 degrees C in summer, like where Mr Carlson lives.
Unlike other EVs on the same evolutionary timeline those Nissan arseholes cut serious corners on R&D. And now they expect owners to pay.
It’s basically impossible to cool those batteries passively, and it’s impossible to think those Nissan clowns did not know about this in R&D. Passive cooling won’t work. You cannot hang the batteries out in the breeze, for convection, because they have to be weather sealed and well protected against mechanical damage
The battery installation is badly designed. They overheat and they crap out early.
According to the ACCC, the ‘refund’ test examines the length of time it’s reasonable for the product to be used, and the amount of time it’s reasonably expected to tolerate use before failure. The warranty status is not part of the ‘refund’ test. Your shitbox Leaf can be out of warranty and you may still be entitled to a full refund if it fails badly enough, early enough.
If I paid $53,500 for a car, as Mr Carlson did, I’d expect it to be useful for more than 90,000 kilometres and seven years.
Instead of doing the right thing by customers and obeying consumer law, honouring the refund obligation, those Nissan arseholes dumped this steaming pile of bullshit into the laps of Leaf owners Down Under:
“Nissan put in place a battery exchange program on April 1st for any customers of a series 1 LEAF where their Lithium-Ion battery no longer provided the owner with the capacity to support their driving range requirements.” - Ben Warren, National Manager for Electrification and mobility at Nissan Shitsville
I’m no lawyer, but that certainly seems somewhat less than the law requires, at least to me.
“Beyond the manufacturer’s warranty period, Nissan has introduced a subsidised battery exchange program for vehicles sold by its Australian dealers.” - Nissan
Export-grade bullshit: Let us be quite clear about who’s subsidising who. Nissan is not subsidising the cost of premature battery replacement on shitbox Leafs. You are paying $10,000 - plus fitting. Therefore you are subsidising Nissan for the company’s shit R&D.
These arseholes are profiteering from their own crap engineering. That’s grossly immoral and completely unethical. And you’re not even getting a new battery pack - my understanding is: it’s a refurbished one, on an exchange basis. And only if you meet some bullshit criteria.
“Whilst the cost is above $10K after labour, it is a 24Kw battery and when you consider the costs of a home battery storage system of that capacity – it actually compares quite favourably.” - Nissan
Exactly the same bullshit refurbished battery program, introduced at exactly the same time in Japan costs 300,000 Yen, which is only $4200 Shitsville dollars.
Why is Nissan charging Australian Leaf owners more than double what the Japanese pay? It’s exactly the same battery in exactly the same car. If you’ve ever wondered what reverse-racism looks like, in the automotive industry, this is it.
10/5/2019 • 16 minutes, 55 seconds
Jeep Caves in and funds family's outrageous $50k repair bill
There’s a lot of Jeep apologists. Dozens of people suggested this was just a ‘rogue dealer’. Keep watching because I’ve got the smoking gun on that - it’s not a rogue dealer. It’s an entrenched rip-off strategy with Jeep. Smoking gun coming up: the evidence - shocking.
This suggestion that $47,500 is just a rogue dealer, and Fiat Chrysler head office had no knowledge of such abhorrent practices: What a load of shit, in my view.
Here’s the smoking gun. Two years ago, a guy named Michael e-mailed me, upset. His cup over-ran when his diesel Jeep shat itself at 58,412 kilometres, in an eerie prequel to the Lawrence’s recent meltdown.
The Caroline Springs Jeep shitheap dealer dealt with that. The two dealerships (Newcastle and Caroline Springs) are separated by 1000 kilometres. These events are also separated by almost two years in time.
Those shitheads in Sunshine quoted the following: $8900 for the high pressure pump. Six injectors at $2500 apiece - that’s $15,000. Left and right fuel rails at $2163 each. That’s $4326. Fuel injector lines $1267.
Sundry parts: $1970. The total is a staggering $31,464.
The Sunshine dealership was far more reasonable about the labour - at just $1820, which (I imagine) is around 15 hours at about $120 per hour. That’s only 50 per cent higher than it should be.
Those pricks in Newcastle were proposing to fillet the Lawrences to the tune of $7000 for labour. An epic touch-up.
But the parts … $31-and-a-half grand in Victoria, two years ago, versus $39-and-a-half in Newcastle, today. They’re similarly blown-out, I think you’d agree.
And there’s no way head office could not know. Like, no way. Not that I can see.
These are just two ripoffs we know about. How many poor bastards just copped it on the chin and coughed up because they needed to get their Jeep shithawk back on the road?
This ‘rogue dealer’ suggestion is about as likely as the alleged ‘rogue engineers’ mooted at one point by those arseholes at Volkswagen, when all the time, the fish was rotting from Martin Winterkorn’s head down.
There is no way senior people at Fiat Chrysler Australia can be unaware of dealings such as this. Consumers would be arcing right up to head office about repair cost, don’t you think? I’d love to see the AFP knock on Fiat Chrysler’s door with a warrant and test this hypothesis.
Before I let you go: FCA did intervene a couple of days ago. They bowed to the media pressure and they turned the Lawrence’s $50k frown upside down by offering to repair the shitheap for free.
In other words, they agreed to do somewhat less than obey the consumer law. Because make no mistake: Had they rolled the dice in court and lost, it could well be Princess of Poshtovia 2.0 - they get their $50 grand purchase refunded and make an application for costs.
FCA is getting out of this one for about $10 grand - minus the media fallout, which I sincerely hope is unpleasant, and costs them sales. They deserve that.
To Kevin Flynn, who runs FCA in Australia I’d suggest: you did try very hard to spin this up in the news to appear as if you were bending over backwards to be magnanimous, but in fact you do not deserve a standing friggin’ ovation, any more than the rest of us deserve pats on the back for no knocking over the National Australia Bank again today.
You arseholes did less than the law requires for a breach of the ‘acceptable quality’ guarantee. And in that sense, you’re still getting away with it.
9/28/2019 • 16 minutes, 50 seconds
Outrageous $50k Jeep Grand Cherokee repair bill
o, the Lawrences buy a 2013 Grand Cherokee shitbox - used - from a shitbag Jeep Dealer - and they buy is a couple of years old, in 2015. Henceforth, they get it serviced on time - every time - from the shitbag dealer, who bends them over in the time-honoured tradition of inflated pricing for that. Because they can.
So, this is all sounding like a really nice story - hardly worthy of my time - until one day recently when the Lawrence’s seven-slot shitheap takes its first big, steaming dump in traffic, and coasts to a halt, inelegantly, at the roadside. Yesssssss!
Non devil-worshipping Danny Lawrence takes his zombiefied Jeep back to the arsehole dealership. Things aren’t looking too bad even at this point - they’re making noises about replacing the battery.
That’s ‘only’ about $600. See what I mean about the pricing? That’s $478.41 - for a friggin battery. And almost $100 to fit it. And lubrication is extra.
Then, and this is the bit I really like, they inform Mr Lawrence the fuel pump is cactus, and - added bonus - the debris from its trouser-pooping proclivity has migrated downstream and destroyed the fuel injectors. Oops-a-daisy.
There are of course sundry additional costs associated with resolving these newfound issues:
That’ll be $47,500. Yessssssss! Let’s just call it $50k. If you’ve ever wondered why the friggin’ defibrillator in a dealership is located in the service department, that’s pretty much it.
I just checked, and the value of a 2013 Grand Cherokee Laredo is about $22,000 Shitsvillian micro-buckeroonies today. It was about $50k new. The repair cost is roughly double the current valuation.
Now, as if things couldn’t get any worse for the non devil-worshipping Lawrences. But they did. The shitbag Jeep dealership failed nicely to honour its obligations under the legislated ‘Acceptable Quality’ Consumer Guarantee, and they passed the buck smoothly back to the Death Star itself - the importer of Jeeps in here Shitsville. FCA - Fiat Chrysler Arseholes.
So, basically, the dipshit dealer advised the Lawrences to apply to Fiat Chrysler Arseholes for a quote-unquote “goodwill concession” - even though that hasn’t been part of consumer law since 2011. And, I note, Darth Vader never handed out too many of those.
It’s easier to get a refund on a fucking toaster in this country - even though the same legislation pertains to toasters and cars. Some car brands still think they’re above the law. Probably because the ACCC has no balls.
As I understand it, it is entirely illegal for dealerships (or any other retailer) to fob you off onto the importer in this way - but I’m no lawyer.
Fiat Chrysler tells the Lawrences to eff off, on the goodwill front, predictably enough.
And it gets worse, because every independent mechanic Mr Lawrence approaches runs screaming from the proposition of placing their hands upon this disaster - because Jeeps are notoriously such dodgy shitheaps to work on.
So, the once mighty Lawrence Grand Cherokee is currently zombiefied, and unlikely to return from the Twilight Zone any time soon. And none of this helps the Lawrences get from A to B on a daily basis, of course. This is a big hit for an ordinary family.
The law says products must be reasonably durable. That’s regardless of warranty status. This means (as I see it) that a well maintained car should simply not shit itself within six years if it’s been serviced properly. And if it does, this must be the manufacturer’s problem, not yours.
9/25/2019 • 13 minutes, 29 seconds
Nissan Pathfinder CVT class action is under investigation | Auto Expert John Cadogan
If you own a Nissan Pathfinder R52 - please accept my sympathy. Nobody deserves that. But in ‘get even’ news, class action specialists, Bannister Law are considering taking Knee-sun out behind the woodshed over the appalling CVT transmission in the Pathfinder, which in my view, should be retrospectively renamed the ‘Shat’.
Some names: they just fit like a latex glove, don’t they? Bonus points for being the past participle of the verb - you don’t see that very often in car names.
According to the lawyers:
"We have received reports from registrants that: 1. the CVT is prone to causing sudden, unexpected shaking and violent jerking (ie. juddering or shuddering) when a driver attempts to accelerate; and 2. there exists other issues with acceleration."
If you’ve been ‘Shat’ on in this way, Bannister Law wants you to register online at bannisterlaw.com.au/nissan-cvt-investigation
Remember what Volkswagen did for the reputation of dual-clutch transmissions? Like, Dresden on the morning of 16 February 1945? Well, those chumps at Knee-sun essentially managed the same thing with the R52 Shat, or Pathfinder, in respect of CVT reliability.
In the six long years Nissan has Shat upon owners, this noteworthy vehicle received numerous industry accolades. My personal favourite was its inclusion in the coveted top 30 used cars ‘never buy’ list from Consumer Reports. The R52 Shat made it to number 17 on that particular hit parade. The ‘never buy’ list. Well done there.
The Nissan Shat also made Consumer Reports top 10 worst cars list in 2014. Another highlight. That’s a real anti-achievement. Knee-sun also achieved ‘least reliable Japanese brand’ status in that year - yesssssss! With Consumer Reports nailing the coffin shut once and for all by categorising the Shat as being at (quote) ‘the bottom of its class for reliability’.
The designers of the Shat/Pathfinder/whatever cannot even hope to blame some third party transmission manufacturer for that vehicle’s pants-pooping proclivity.
The Shat’s disgracefully under-cooked XTronic CVT is made by a company you’ve probably never heard of, called JATCO, and Knee-sun owns 75 per cent of JATCO. Which is roughly equivalent to crapping in your own loungeroom.
So the Shat’s XTronic CVT is nothing more than an ongoing Knee-sun ‘own goal’.
Reliability of JATCO transmissions got so bad around 2014, that subsequently disgraced RenaultNissan boss Carlos Ghosn walked down the hall to the JATCO boardroom one fateful day in about 2014, with a three-foot razorblade fully withdrawn from its scabbard, and he did not return until the blood ran about eight inches deep on the floor.
It was all very ‘Kill Bill’. Tarantino would have been proud.
Anyway, if your appalling R52 Knee-sun Shat has been driving you progressively insane, these past few years, and you’d like a bunch of rabid lawyers to slip one into Knee-sun on your behalf, you might like to visit Bannister Law’s website and spill your guts, in much the same way as your Shat has been spilling its.
9/21/2019 • 15 minutes, 9 seconds
The impending 2020 collapse of CarAdvice
Three of Caradvice’s biggest cocks just got up and walked out. And they’re not coming back.
The cocks in question, who made like Moses after the 10 plagues - even though that - guaranteed - never happened - were the so-called “founding team” at Caradvice: Alborz Fallah, Tony Crawford and (quote-unquote) “media personality” Paul Maric.
So this is kind of interesting. Caradvice’s three biggest cocks become contemporaneously erect, and fly the coop in formation, yesterday. As symbolic ‘fuck yous’ go - it doesn’t get much more emphatic.
I should point out that calling someone a cock is actually a mark of deep respect. The cock is a proud animal. If you’re top cock in the henhouse, all the roosters want to be you, and all the chicks want to do you. It’s an enviable position in which to be.
These chaps are therefore fully-qualified, A-grade cocks.
Recent history: Caradvice started out as nothing more than a bulge in Alborz’s underpants. He’d always wanted a hot pink Ferrari and to drive fast cars in exotic locations with lifetime platinum frequent flier status, while inflicting himself on innocent car enthusiasts, all on the car industry’s dime.
He originally wanted to be a garage door installer - but that didn’t work out, so he fell back on almost-journalism.
This secondary media entrepreneurial wet dream grew into an advertising delivery powerhouse. And despite the fact that I worked there as editor in chief for a brief period (not a good fit) - they finally sold it for millions to Nine Digital
...which is like Channel Nine, only more mentally retarded, and with no audience. Same sociopathic tendencies as regular broadcast TV, however, so that’s nice.
Anyway, Nine also buys Fairfax, which owns Drive. They take Drive to the prison shower with the big digital cocks, and Drive emerges limping, a shadow of its former self. (It’s just Caradvice with a different logo now.) And Nine’s digital cocks pat each other on the arse over a fine job well done.
The long-term chief executive of Caradvice - he’s enjoying all of this so much that he just gets up and walks out of the building a couple of months ago. And they fill the void left by his departure with … some faceless Nine Digital beancounter.
The unsinkable automotive ship - the RMS Advertising Delivery - is at this point bearing right down an iceberg you can see from space. Moments before impact, the big, founding cocks all sprout wings.
Caradvice can exist without the big founding cocks - certainly - but not as we know it. See, in the modern digital marketplace, where video is king, the brand is the key people. The audience has a relationship with the big cocks - but this is something a Nine Digital wonk is unlikely to appreciate.
Like, you’re sitting here listening to me now. I’m talking to you. You’re … I dunno … on the crapper, cracking one off (one of life’s significant pleasures) … and here we are, spending this special time together. It’s kind of intimate, isn’t it? Only, not in a fag way. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Video equals personal connection. So, Caradvice just lost that. It’s intangible, but hugely significant. Which just points to an epic level of management mental retardation at Nine Digital. Well done there. You chumps.
9/19/2019 • 18 minutes, 29 seconds
Volkswagen class action settlement (Australia). Is $127 million enough?
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My heart was as heavy as a field of butterflies in spring when the news lobbed on Monday that high-level [LOOK LEFT] cocks in Wolfsburg had signed off on allowing their inconsequential Arse-tra-alien subordinates to bend and stretch their way to a class-action settlement in the time-honoured game of prison shower Twister. Yesssss!
Ze Chermans will kick the tin for up to $127.1 million for Dieselgate class action victims, who own (or owned) the company’s disgraceful, filthy shitheaps.
If you’ve been dead from the neck up since about 2015, Dieselgate was, of course, the board-level criminal conspiracy, in which a decision was taken to kill people prematurely in the name of profit, by cheating emissions regulations and pumping up oxides of nitrogen in Volkswagen dung-box diesel exhausts.
Oxides of nitrogen kill about 50,000 people annually in Retardistan. If you read the peer-reviewed study in respected academic journal, Environmental Pollution, you’d see they estimated fraudulent Dieselgate emissions causing 45,000 disability-adjusted life-years to be lost, at a cost of $39 billion US dollars (and that’s just in ‘Murica).
Dieselgate has now cost Volkswagen more than 30 billion Euros, in total, and several high-level Volkswagen and Audi arseholes have gone to prison. Others, of course, parachuted out onto their wallets, fortuitously to live happily ever after, presumably in a hot tub full of Veuve Cliquot. And high-class hookers. In countries that don’t extradite. And, let’s face it - if you’re going to be in prison, that’s how to do it.
Even more of a side-splitter for me: Volkswagen, Audi and Skoda are doing this “without admission of liability”.
I ask you: Could they actually harbour some hope against hope of looking any less like morally adrift mother-lovers? In fact, those disingenuous Volkswagen ‘Straya arseholes said, in a statement, that the $40 million (wriggle room) settlement would be a:
“...significant step towards fully resolving the diesel lawsuits in Australia.”
I guess that’s true - except for the people who became disabled because the excessive NOx gave them some life-limiting cardiovascular disease. But, really, who cares about them?
The company droned on, seemingly without end:
"The settlement, on a no-admissions basis, concerns five class-action lawsuits covering all affected vehicles in Australia. Volkswagen expects the proceedings will be concluded in 2020."
If only Volkswagen, Audi and Skoda cars were as reliable as their corporate bullshit. Here’s my problem with this ‘zero admission of liability’ caper:
If the cops kick in your door at 3am, they zip-tie you at gunpoint and tell you they think you really did kill all those children, and the Department of Public Prosecutions agrees, you get two basic options:
One: Plead ‘guilty’ and go straight to sentencing. Two: Plead ‘not guilty’ and go to trial, where your guilt (or not) is established.
What you specifically don’t get to do, when some dude in a wig says: “How do you plead?” Is get in wig-man’s face and argue: “Maaaate, look, I’m not sayin’ I killed all those schoolgirls, right - but just gimme … I dunno ... 8.7 to 12.7 years, we’ll sort that out, and that’ll be the end of it. I think you’d agree that’d be a significant step towards fully resolving this mutually inconvenient issue.”
And yet - that’s kinda what’s happening here.
9/19/2019 • 14 minutes, 21 seconds
The problem with buying a Toyota in 2020
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Toyota - the world’s leading manufacturer of boring vehicles - is succumbing to its own bullshit in a scary parallel. Cue George Orwell, because the company no longer even calls those who buy its cars ‘customers’:
“Our guests know that Toyota will look after them and the overwhelming feedback we get on a recall of any major proportion is largely a big thank you from our guests for acting so quickly on an issue.”
Sean Hanley - Toyota behavioural apologist and sales and marketing wonk, towing the company line in respect of a recent recall
'Our guests’ - allow me to retort: If I buy something from you, I’m not a guest; I’m a customer. Legislation is ushered in to confirm my commercial status.
So, I will not be downgraded to ‘guest’ by Toyota because of some social justice bullshit. I’ll remain here in ‘business class’ and be a customer,.
Toyota spent recent years stonewalling on the issue of the DPF design fiasco in 2.8 diesel Hilux, Fortuner and Prado.
Customers… Sorry: ‘guests’ - are having their ‘unbreakable’ Hiluxes break all over the former convict paradise, and Toyota’s response is to re-enacting The Emperor’s New Clothes. This is how the cake of bullshit gets baked.
Glaciers advance faster than the fix for the actual DPF issue. You are forced to return to the dealer many times, before they will install a manual DPF burn-off switch.
Perhaps the most under-done engineering Band-Aid I have ever seen. I really don’t see how this in any way addresses the fundamental underlying hardware deficiency.
The Big T says - it’s all fixed now. Gotta keep shifting those new Toyotas.
“Through all our learnings of previous-generation diesel technology, we believe that with the new vehicles and the manual burn-off switch, the communication with our customers - what DPF represents, how it works, what to look for, the support that we provide - we believe it is fixed.” - Sean Hanley
How is this is a belief issue? ‘We believe it’s fixed.’ There’s no epistemic dimension to fixing a design deficiency. It’s not a matter of belief. Either it’s fixed or it’s not. It’s an entirely ontological proposition.
This engine is also too easily ‘dusted’. A euphemism for the incursion of dust past the air filter, where it forces the vehicle into ‘limp’ mode.
The mouthpiece says only 0.2 per cent of 170,000 vehicles have been ‘dusted’.
Mr Hanley went on to explain (if that’s the right word) that this dusting business happens only in (quote-unquote) “extreme conditions” - as if this is in some way acceptable.
Perhaps we should not forget we’re talking about filtering dust from air in a pipe.
Dust is easy to arrange. Air filter integrity is easy to test. The fact that dust gets past 0.2 per cent of Hilux air filters is a design disgrace. The actual defect rate is of course much higher because many Hiluxes are never tested by entering extremely dusty environments.
Toyota’s goodwill is in flames, and it seems nobody is yet reaching for an extinguisher. All they have to do is admit problems, address them fast, and be honest. It doesn’t sound that hard, but it is.
The worst thing about Toyota’s bullshit is that they’ve apparently started to believe it internally - perhaps because it’s more compelling and palatable than the facts, which are that their engineering integrity and internal validation processes are slipping.
If you’ve ever wondered why I don’t gush about Toyota, this is it.
9/12/2019 • 18 minutes, 50 seconds
2020 Lexus RX Review and Buyer's Guide
The Lexus RX, and in particular the RX 350 I spent a week in, is the vehicle I'll always think of as 'the other Kluger'. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing…
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7/8/2019 • 20 minutes, 16 seconds
Your DPF warning light just came on: What should you do?
You need to act, but is it life and death for your engine? It’s unsettling, but if your diesel particulate filter warning light comes on here’s what you do…
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5/5/2019 • 16 minutes
Tyre Pressure Monitoring Systems for Dummies: How they work
Do tyre pressure monitoring systems actually need calibration? How do they work? Is the dealership ripping you off if you’re forced to seek help?
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3/18/2019 • 16 minutes, 23 seconds
Engine stop-start Vs idling in traffic: How much can you save?
How much fuel and therefore money can you actually save using engine stop-start systems? Perhaps your car has this feature - so how much use do you suppose you need to get out of it in order to break even or, perhaps, save a reasonable amount? Let's talk about that...
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3/10/2019 • 15 minutes, 3 seconds
Top 10 facts about octane rating every car owner should know
Here are the facts about fuel octane and the busting of all those myths you'll find bouncing around in uninformed comments feeds, unqualified blogs and touted by beard-stroking half-wits proliferating themselves on the internets.
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1/19/2019 • 7 minutes, 14 seconds