website: risingmotherhood.co/retreat Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood

Find Bryana here: instagram.com/consciousmommy ______________ website: risingmotherhood.co/ Join RISE - a 3-week course designed to help you reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be, reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values, and reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens. risingmotherhood.co/rise-challenge Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood ______________

SIGN UP HERE Join FREE Rising Motherhood Mornings - Daily action steps to support you in becoming the mom you want to be by doing one thing that aligns with your future self. Short morning mindful moments with Lauren. https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62acff4f5b2d08a9b95d956d Join RISE - A 3-week course designed to help you reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be, reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values and reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens. risingmotherhood.co/rise-challenge

In this episode, we talk about how parenting teens is very similar to the strategies I talk about with young kids. Validation, normalizing... and being a safe place for big emotions is KEY in all stages and ages of children. ______________ website: risingmotherhood.co/ Join RISE - a 3-week course designed to help you reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be, reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values, and reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens. risingmotherhood.co/rise-challenge Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood ______________ Kristen Duke is a mentor for parents of teenagers, helping them to control their emotions and find unique ways to connect with their teenagers.

I went to a marriage retreat last month with my husband, and was blown away by the material. I don't say this lightly when I say, life-changing. The crazy thing is, a lot of it is so similar to what I teach with parenting (especially in my newer RISE series) but I needed this to really click it all together. and UP LEVEL. I don't have enough time, space or expertise to share all the things I learned in three full days for Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. But I do, want to share a few ideas. -We cannot be in a mature marriage if we are depending on someone else to meet our needs. Love languages are great and all, but throw them out the window if you are expecting someone else to meet yours to find true love. -We have to OWN OUR PART. Own our part with conflict/habits and our defense mechanisms. Are you a yeller or do you withdraw? Are you someone who is the "fixer" or do you withdraw? --For example, If my husband constantly yelled at me, of course I'd withdraw (This is not our true scenerio fyi lol). If my husband, owned is part it would look like, “hey I know I'm usually pretty intense when I bring this up and that probably makes you want to withdraw, I'm gonna try to address this differently” --or if me as the withdraw person owned her part, “hey I know I usually withdraw, but I am really wanting to connect in a more calm, peaceful way, can we try to talk about this…" So why am I telling you this? Because I see so many parallels between this information and emotionally healthy parenting. It's a lifestyle and family culture. We cannot expect our child to act a certain way to feel valuable about ourselves as parents. They are individual beings. I can only manage what's mine. We have to own our part. If we see our kids constantly reacting and fighting. Are we constantly reacting to them reacting???? Are we feeding a pattern?

Joline from MindfulMESS.mom joined us to talk about conscious parenting-- how really it's about showing up in the present moment. This means being aware of our triggers and needs, and adjusting when we do catch ourselves reacting unconsciously. Follow along here: @mindfulmess.mom __________________ Join my RISE challenge waitlist to become a more conscious parent/human here: risingmotherhood.co/rise-challenge RISE is a 3-week course designed to help you reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be, reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values and reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens. Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood ______________

Zoom Link Record Transcribe Blog Upload Soundcould Social Media Posts Graphics Email Un-domestic mom podcast Katie is author of children’s book, your safe body, pediatric nurse, mom, body safety educator, and child abuse survivor. She helps teach body safety to children through her book, and body safety acronym, SHOUT. Social Links Katiethemomthenurse https://store.bookbaby.com/book/your-safe-body ___________ website: risingmotherhood.co/ Join RISE - a 3-week course designed to help you reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be, reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values, and reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens. risingmotherhood.co/rise-challenge Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood Ad: www.gabbwireless.com code XOLAUREN for 25$ off ______________

Anxiety may look like shutting down or refusing to participate. It also could look like anger and aggression. It can look like really emotional tantrums, or just withdrawing quietly. So many behaviors with the same underlying feeling: anxiety. Learn your child's patterns of anxiety, what is happening in their body, and how to support them through these uncomfortable feelings. // ANXIETY COURSE PRE-LAUNCH: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62acff4f5b2d08a9b95d956d website: http://risingmotherhood.co/anxiety Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood ______________

______________ website: risingmotherhood.co/ Join RISE - a 3-week course designed to help you reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be, reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values, and reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens. risingmotherhood.co/rise-challenge Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood ______________ Ashley Adams is a mama of 4 and military wife for the past 15 years. She loves traveling and going on hikes with my family. They have called Missouri, Hawaii, North Carolina, Washington, and Virginia home. She's formally an early childhood educator turned conscious parenting and nervous system health advocate. Her passion is helping parents lessen the shame and guilt they have in parenting by helping them to get to know their nervous system and really start to make sense of their triggers and their story. Becoming a parent was an invitation to dive deeper and get to know those parts of her that felt not heard, seen, or witnessed in her own childhood, and finally allow them to have a voice and be understood.

Crystal is a certified life coach and homeschooling mother of four. She helps parents have better relationships with their strong-willed children through mindset + connection. Social Links @the.parenting.coach on IG, The Freedom Moms Podcast We talk about the following questions: First of all what is a trigger? How does it show up for you? How do you figure out what your triggers is about -- really? . Why is it necessary to heal when we do this parenting style? Tips for getting started into healing. ______________ website: risingmotherhood.co/ Join RISE - a 3-week courses designed to help you reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be, reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values, and reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens. risingmotherhood.co/rise-challenge Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood

when we are reacting from a triggered state, we are reacting in a way we are not proud of, not value-driven. SO... what do we do, when we catch ourselves in the middle of this REACTION. Pause. Come Back to Calm. Make the repair. ______________ website: risingmotherhood.co/ Join RISE - a 3-week courses designed to help you reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be, reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values, and reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens. Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood

Taran our guest today from Undomestic Mom is sharing ways to use a mother's helper to get your needs met. She goes through logistics, pricing, and how much can be accomplished with a Mother's helper. -- Taran Conwell is a mom of 3, the host of The Undomestic Mom Podcast, and on a mission to help moms discover what self-care routines are right for them and how to incorporate them into their daily life. When she’s not making Reels or supporting her clients, you can find her on adventures with her family or planning her next trip. Social Links https://www.instagram.com/undomesticmom/ https://undomesticmom.com/lava

This episode is about ELIMINATING MOM GUILT. Eliminating “mom guilt” and helping women understand that motherhood isn't a job, hobby, or identity, it is a RELATIONSHIP -- After giving birth to her daughter Lydia in 2015, Hannah had to work through a lot of her internal beliefs and misunderstandings about motherhood. 6 years, 5 kids, and a pandemic later, she has come to a very solid understanding of what motherhood actually is and what it ISN’T. Hannah is confident that helping women understand that MOTHERHOOD IS A RELATIONSHIP rather than a checklist of household tasks or caregiving will bring MORE JOY, assist in overcoming overwhelm, avoid resentment, and allow women to ditch the “mom guilt” for good. Social Links @freckledhan

JOIN RISE WAITLIST: https://risingmotherhood.co/rise-challenge Gentle parenting takes a conscious daily effort to rewrite our internal hard drives and show up in a way we are proud of - or make repairs when we don't. You do not have to do this alone. I have the research, and 10 years of practice (from preschool teaching, coaching to parenting myself), but when it comes down to it, I'm right here with you. I see you So many of you are operating in chronic fight/flight. You go through the motions, you get your kids to all the activities, and enjoy your time spent with them most of the time, but then, you may spill a bag of chips and are ignored for the 50th time and turn into the hulk. (We’ve all been there) Why? Because you have so much going on inside your body — your needs aren’t being met, you have unhealed wounds that are being opened and you just don’t have enough practice with those skills. It’s ok! You’re safe here. It’s time to slow down, mama. Let’s reflect on the values you want, notice your strengths, and re-parent yourself. I am about to launch something called the RISE CHALLENGE. 21 DAYS OF EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY PARENTING PRACTICES TO HELP YOU RISE TO THE PARENT YOU WISH TO BE 1. Reflect on the parent you are now and the parent you want to be 2. Reparent old teachings that don’t align with your values 3. Reframe your child’s big behaviors from a supportive lens This is the kickstart we need to reparent ourselves while already knee-deep in the world of parenting.

When our kids say mean things... Instead of looking at the top explosion and dealing with that, Look at what's going on in the lava… go to the FEELING. Let's talk through some ways to notice when a child is not in a regulated state, walk away or hold space for those emotions. THEN, come back to calm and do problem-solving and teaching. Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: risingmotherhood.co/ Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/rising.motherhood

In this episode with Dr. Brad Reedy from Evoke Therapy Programs, we have an awakening chat about boundaries, triggers, and our inner beliefs/need for healing. One takeaway is: Boundaries are for me. Boundaries aren’t for someone else to change, boundaries are what YOU are ok with/not ok with. Another takeaway is: We don't need to change or fix our child, we need to heal OURSELVES. Find Dr. Brad Reedy here: https://drbradreedy.com/ https://www.evoketherapy.com/ instagram.com/drbradreedy instagram.com/evoketherapy

Learn to say yes when you want to say no  Create cooperation instead of resistance 1. Focus on the things they are doing well at (fill their cup) 2. Say what you WANT THEM TO DO instead of what you DON'T want them to do 3. Offer two positive choices to get the same result 4. When _ then _ 5. SAY YES to the things that don't really even matter When their behavior is "worse," we think we need to up the discipline remember, behavior is a symptom of what is happening inside. When behaviors get harder, emotions are stronger. Overwhelm Disappointment Rejection Grief These feelings don't need a punishment... Instead of consequences or ignoring... TRY CONNECTING! One easy way to connect more: Try, Saying "Yes" to the little things Yes, mom can hold your hand. Yes, mom can carry you. Yes, you can have the purple plate. Yes, you can lay in my bed for a minute. Yes, we can watch that movie. Yes, you can bring your toys Yes, you can wear sandals over your tights. So much of the time we are saying no to things that really don't matter. Try saying, "yes" ______________ Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/xolaurenpace ______________ Ad: www.gabbwireless.com code XOLAUREN for 25$ off

Studies have identified anger as being a secondary emotion. A secondary emotion is an emotion-fueled by other emotions. For example, if you become hurt in some way, you might express ANGER instead of emotional and physical pain – it might be easier to express anger than express hurt. When our kids become angry, we can often stay curious about that anger and figure out some other big feelings are in play. For example, when something might feel unfair, a child may feel jealous, resentful, annoyed and ANGER will surface. How do we respond: 1. Regulate Yourself 2. Go to the Feelings 3. Set a Boundary 4. Teach ways to express anger PROACTIVELY

Sometimes we will say, HOW CAN I VALIDATE MY KID'S EMOTIONS WHEN THEY ARE SOOO IRRATIONAL? Remember validation does not mean you agree Validation is a response that shows you accept another person's feelings and point of view, even if you don't agree We all have different perspectives and experiences Validation communicates… you believe their experience/emotions are valid You don't intend to correct them, minimize, change or dismiss their emotions Dismissive comments will communicate to your child that the way they're feeling is wrong. And hurts your relationships An empathetic non-judgmental response will communicate… That you hear your child and understand why they feel the way they do. It strengthens your relationship. ------------------------- Gentle Parenting is about recognizing your child as an individual and responding to their needs. Learn more in my free 10-minute training: "5-Steps to Enforce Boundaries while Accepting Emotions" https://xolaurenpace.com/free ------------------------- Join my membership for only $15 the first month ($47 after + cancel ANYTIME) with this link: https://xo-parenting.teachable.com/p/xomember?coupon_code=PODCAST ------------------------- instagram.com/xolaurenpace

I was introduced to the topic of breathwork in October, and have already had some pretty profound healing/ah-ha's. It's a SIMPLE and CHALLENGING practice all in one. Simple in that it just requires your breath -- challenging because it's HARD TO BE STILL in motherhood, in life, in work... we have a lot going on. So my challenge for you is to get conscious with your breath and help your kids see their own inhales and exhales this week. ------------------------- Audrey O'Brien builds therapeutic meditation practices on a breathwork infrastructure. Audrey is well versed and studied in the anatomical science of respiratory chemicals in the body, breathwork practices, guided meditation techniques, and well studied in several fields of behavioral science. She works with individuals and groups both in-person and remotely, and also teaches public courses and retreat work regularly. She lives in woodland UT with her lover of 24 years and mothers six humans along with any and all who find respite in the womb that is her home.  instagram @thebreathingco  site: www.thebreathingco.com ------------------------- Gentle Parenting is about recognizing your child as an individual and responding to their needs. Learn more in my free 10-minute training: "5-Steps to Enforce Boundaries while Accepting Emotions" https://xolaurenpace.com/free ------------------------- Join my membership for only $15 the first month ($47 after + cancel ANYTIME) with this link: https://xo-parenting.teachable.com/p/xomember?coupon_code=PODCAST

How do I respond to big emotions in the moment? For kids having a hard time regulating their bodies when big feelings arise. They don't need punishment or shame tactics SKILL: Co-regulation Co-regulation is the foundation for children to learn self-regulation What is co-regulation? Co-regulation is defined as warm and responsive interactions that provide the support, coaching, and modeling children need to “understand, express, and modulate their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors” Children will mirror our language, behavior, and emotions. When you want to help your child regulate their emotions, you will become their safe place to feel emotions with... which means working on your own emotional triggers, self-regulation, and parent-child relationship. Start by checking in with yourself. _____ Gentle Parenting is about recognizing your child as an individual and responding to their needs. Learn more in my free 10-minute training: "5-Steps to Enforce Boundaries while Accepting Emotions" https://xolaurenpace.com/free ------------------------- Join my membership for only $15 the first month ($47 after + cancel ANYTIME) with this link: https://xo-parenting.teachable.com/p/xomember?coupon_code=PODCAST ------------------------- instagram.com/xolaurenpace

Awakened Mother, mine, and Jess's baby. What is the Awakened Mother???? What is AN Awakened Mother? Sometimes in motherhood, we lose a piece of our soul. Our ego, our human -- it takes us away from what our soul desires. Waking up to what inspires us, who we are, and who we want to be -- it's the movement of AWAKENED MOTHER. Jess and I talk about how while we are raising kids, all the time we will be triggered and show up in a way we aren't proud of. But piece by piece as we start the healing journey, inner child work, taking PAUSE we can awaken. __ Join us for our Awakened Mother Inner Child Retreat April 22-24, 2022. xolaurenpace.com/retreat. Check back for future retreats, this is just the beginning!

Cheryl Cardall is my instagram friend who aligns SO well on parenting values/philosophies. She's is a mom of 5 ages 12-23 and 5/5 have some sort of mental health challenge in varying severities! She's in the thick of it and using this parenting method for kids with hard behaviors in their teen years. This parenting isn't just for toddlers -- it's a lifestyle. And I'm so excited to talk with her all about it today. Remember a few things, all behavior is communication. When our kids have difficult behaviors it's not our job to STOP THE BEHAVIOR. It's our job to try and figure out what's causing it, go beyond the behavior, support their needs, connect and help our kids through. Find Cheryl on Fight Like A Mother Podcast and @cherylcardall

Gentle Parenting is about recognizing your child as an individual and responding to their needs. Learn more in my free 10-minute training: "5-Steps to Enforce Boundaries while Accepting Emotions" https://xolaurenpace.com/free ------------------------- Join my membership for only $15 the first month ($47 after + cancel ANYTIME) with this link: https://xo-parenting.teachable.com/p/xomember?coupon_code=PODCAST ------------------------- instagram.com/xolaurenpace

Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/xolaurenpace ______________ Ad: www.gabbwireless.com code XOLAUREN for 25% off

Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/xolaurenpace ______________ Ad: www.gabbwireless.com code XOLAUREN for 25% off

Interview with Krysten Taprell @The_therapist_parent

Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/risinglavapodcast ______________ Ad: www.gabbwireless.com code XOLAUREN for best discount

Find Mary Van Geffen Here instagram.com/maryvangeffen ______________ Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/risinglavapodcast ______________ Ad: www.gabbwireless.com code XOLAUREN for 30% off

Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/risinglavapodcast ______________ Ad: www.gabbwireless.com code XOLAUREN for 30% off

Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/risinglavapodcast ______________ Ad: www.gabbwireless.com code XOLAUREN for 30% off

Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/membership Find & save the show note posts on my Instagram: instagram.com/risinglavapodcast

Things I talked about for my family: - Therapy (Grief Counselor, ACT and EMDR are my favorite "modalities?") - Medication for Mental Health Support - Allergy Shot/Testing - Energy Work - Foot Zoning - Chakra Healing - Meridian Stress Assessment - Doctors - Behavior Coach Your list might look similar or vary greatly, but the point is to FOLLOW YOUR GUT. If something feels off, pursue it. Stay curious. Watch for patterns and use your village.

Phrases you might say that place blame You're driving me nuts Your attitude is ruining the trip I wouldn't have to yell if you wouldn't If you wouldn't have hit your sister, I wouldn't of had to ______ Say instead phrases that use ownership while still communicating triggers My ears need a break from the noise, I’m going to take a break in my room before my volcano erupts. I’m feeling a bit frustrated right now, I’m going to take a break and come back to this when my lava goes down. Whew, I feel my lava rising. I think I need some help. Can you help me? START WITH THIS: It bugs me when __ I wish you would __ My lava is rising, I need to ___ __________________________ Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ find & save the show note posts on my instagram: instagram.com/risinglavapodcast

Join my free 5-Day Volcano Challenge: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/617309cde625581864e3f8a9 ______________ website: xolaurenpace.com/ find & save the show note posts on my instagram: instagram.com/risinglavapodcast

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Find out more about our Parenting with Emotional Intelligence Program on Instagram @ParentingBigEmotions xolaurenpace.com/emotions _____________________________________ ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Find out more about our Parenting with Emotional Intelligence Program on Instagram @ParentingBigEmotions xolaurenpace.com/emotions _____________________________________ ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Did you know it is not possible to spoil a baby? Read this article to know how to respond to infant crying when all physical needs are met. Infants cry for emotional reasons and just need to be heard and comforted. The bonding cycle happens thousands of times over the years and creates a strong attachment and trust. _____________________________________ ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________ [Reward Child Individual Strengths not just Academic Success] Every child has a strength! Notice the strengths in your children & CELEBRATE THOSE! If we can find something that each child is good at in the home, on the team, or in the classroom and nurture that skill, let’s do it. Let’s empower kids with what they are naturally good at. Academic success ISN’T the goal for life. There’s so much more to life & so much more to each person that we can value.

_____________________________________ ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

I interviewed Ashlee Hauber from Kiddie Adventures, a local play-based preschool. Her teaching philosophy is developmentally appropriate and immerses the kids in letters, numbers, topics, and real-life learning. Come learn why preschool is about more than letters and numbers. Find Kiddie Adventures: https://www.kiddieadventurespreschool.com/ Find out more about Xo Playtime: xolaurenpace.com/xoplaytime _____________________________________ ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Independent Play is more than a "parenting break." There are so many benefits of solo play for young children including developing emotional regulation, self-confidence, self-reliance, better learners, and imagination. Check out Xo Playtime here: xolaurenpace.com/xoplaytime (open enrollment is in February and September) _____________________________________ ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman wrote the book, “The Argument Hangover.” Use conscious communication and healthy conflict resolution skills so you can make sure both you and your partner are understood. Find the book here: https://theargumenthangover.com/ _____________________________________ ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Rachel Sanchez from @beboldlittleones is super passionate about getting outside and adventuring with her family and young kids, 7-year-old, 4-year-old, and 2-years-old. Hiking allows their girls to test their abilities, develop core strength, and grow in confidence and body positivity, and more. Learn the logistics of getting outside in the winter with your young kids. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Living mindfully can be a challenge for a to-do list type of person (aka enneagram type 3). I'm incorporating a mix of rhythms and routines into our days to make sure I'm really holding space to be present and enjoy moments with my kids. >>> Get our free weekly mindful planner printable. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________ There is a lot of education on academics in our formal training, but not a lot on emotional intelligence. What would it be like if we learned emotions in school like we did math, history, or reading? Bear’s Book of Emotions was written to help children identify emotions in themselves. This is based on the concept of emotional intelligence which states that the 4 components of being emotionally sound are: 1 - Identifying emotions in ourselves, 2 - Identifying emotions in others, 3 - Regulating our own emotions, and 4 - Regulating emotions in our relationships with others.

When you travel with young kids, preparation is key. With this guide it's easy! Know your triggers and prepare for activities. I pack two baskets — one with snacks and tools to prevent challenges from our triggers and one with tech/non-tech activities. I put them in an easy-to-reach spot with all the essentials & we rotate through the snacks and activities, all while preventing triggers. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Download a free mad chart on the blog for some skills you can work on with your child to handle frustration! In response to my podcast, “stop ignoring the junk,“ I got some of the BEST feedback. I loved where the conversation went… that we can’t just focus on the positive and show our kids we only value POSITIVE feelings. All feelings are valid. Sometimes our negative behavior is annoying — but it’s still communicating something going on within our bodies. So when our kids feel FRUSTRATED they may whine, backtalk, cry, threw a tantrum, roll their eyes… etc. Instead of “ignoring“ the behavior or just redirecting. We need to acknowledge and accept the feeling, and then help them learn ways to communicate that frustration appropriately. We aren’t asking them to not be frustrated… we are actually just helping them not kick us in the face with their muck boot when frustrated. .... ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Are you on the same parenting page as your partner? Most couples come from very different family backgrounds, traditions, education, temperaments, and experience. This means we are naturally going to come into parenting with different views! Learn how to get on the same parenting page, be a support to each other, and navigate these discussions peacefully and proactively. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Let’s look at behavior differently than we traditionally would look at challenging behavior. Instead of seeing it as misbehavior or disrespect, we should view it through a Positive Behavior Support sense…. Their behavior is communicating a need or missing skill. As Ross Greene teaches, “If they could do well, they would do well.” What supports do they need to be able to do well? Prevent, Teach, Reinforce! . .⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Meg is a blogger, author, and mom of 4. Her third child Avery who is currently five-years-old and was born with Syndromic Craniosynostosis. Today Meg talks a little bit more about helping our kids develop self-worth to safeguard against bullying and how we can navigate the conversations when someone's different from us. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

**Disclaimer: This information is research and evidence-based, along with MY opinion and decision for what I am going to do with it for my child. Tune into what your gut says about what is right for your family ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

So today's is called come early, stay late and this is a strategy that I learned from a national conference that I went to when I was a teacher for preschool and I had a really difficult class as I've talked about before, but there were some kids who like, they didn't need a behavior plan. They didn't need like positive behavior support, individualized interventions, but still I would say something and they just wouldn't listen. It's like, they couldn't hear it, they couldn't tune into it. So for example, I'd be like, okay, we need to use walking feet and I like stop him and be like, Johnny use walking feet, Johnny use walking feet and I would say that in two seconds later, Johnny would be so excited to be running again. What I realized in learning about this and learning about regulation and stuff like that is IT WASN'T A LISTENING PROBLEM. HE HEARD IT, HE TRIED, AND THEN TWO SECONDS LATER HE WAS DOING IT AGAIN. IT WAS A SELF-REGULATION PROBLEM. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

THERE ARE FIVE MAIN AREAS THAT CHILDREN DEVELOP. 1. Cognitive Development 2. Social and Emotional Development 3. Speech and Language 4. Fine Motor 5. Gross Motor THINK TO YOURSELF THESE TWO QUESTIONS: 1. What developmental areas does my child need particular attention in this upcoming year? 2. What toys/activities can I get that would support these developmental areas? ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________ BOOK RECOMMENDATION: Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons

IG & FB @the.modern.nanny website: monacoaching.squarespace.com ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Consequential behaviors include any behavior that threatens life or health or injury to a child student or others. If behavior is consequential, then the parent or teacher needs to intervene. So, this is physical aggression. This is you know throwing pencils at the teacher. Whereas inconsequential behavior is behavior that is not harmful or damaging but it's simply annoying. So, inconsequential behaviors would be things like whining, crying, tantrums, complaining, talking back, rolling your eyes, sarcasm, muttering under one's breath. All of these behaviors make up about 90% of inappropriate behaviors. That’s what research has found that most behaviors that we're dealing with each day are actually inconsequential. So, they do not need a consequence I agree with that. I agree that most of these behaviors do not need a consequence. So, the definitions of consequential and inconsequential behavior I’m on board with. However, when people start to then say just ignore the inconsequential behavior and they call it junk behavior and they just say just ignore the junk behavior. Just ignore the junk behavior it's going to go away. That is where I start to have a problem. Okay. Before I get super far into this I’m not going to go on this like 500 hour tangent but I do just want to say that positive reinforcement is such a powerful tool but that doesn't necessarily mean that you know you have to do everything else that ABA and positive parenting and behaviorism is. Okay. You don't have to just ignore the behavior. You don't have to change behavior shift behavior because when we just focus on behavior and we don't focus on the child and the child's needs and all of this. We're missing an opportunity to attach with our children. We’re missing an opportunity to really understand our child's sensory needs our child's temperament that kind of thing. So, I do think that it's a bigger picture than just oh this is our child we're going to teach it to sit-stay you know they're not dogs. They’re not pets. We want to create opportunities where we can create bonds with them. Where, we can understand their emotions, their feelings, that kind of thing. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

The main purpose of having open-ended toys is learning. So more toys than not should be able to serve multiple uses and engage them in different ways. But there is a place for the others too. BALANCE. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

I've decided recently that I actively want to work on creating a culture of consent in my home and family. If my kids don't like something they can say "I don't like it" and if the child doesn't respond then they can walk away and they don't have to feel any guilt about what that other child's feeling because it's okay to you know to create this space and have a break. What consent is really understanding the concept of body autonomy. Body Autonomy: My body belongs to me I get to do what I want with it and no one can tell me what to do with it Find Rosalia consentparenting.com @consentparenting on IG + FB ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

How can we realize if we're parenting from a place of intention and purpose or if we're being influenced and parenting from a place of habit? Teresa: Okay, one way is just to ask yourself a question, have I ever considered my parenting? Like, did I truly think about my core values, the core values that I want to give my children have I truly thought about and like remember when I said there's a parallel between like in corporate and parenting, how I thought about my family mission statement most times you know we want to have a baby we want to have a family we just have one and we go. So ask yourself have I really gone through the thought process because yes we want the best for our children but have we thought about what's my mission statement for my family, what's my purpose statement? And when you just think about it like well, I really haven't dug deep to ask questions about this journey of parenting where I want to go its habit, it's just oh I’m going to be a parent let's do this. Find Teresa instagram.com/theparentonpurposecoach https://m.facebook.com/theparentonpurposecoach https://www.parentonpurposecoach.com ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

I have a free four-day listening conference. It's one hour of video total, but today I’m going to put in the audio for day one of this listening conference. I feel like every single day has so much value, but I want you to be hooked here first so that you want to get into the conference listen to the rest of the videos and hopefully, it will change your life and help your child learn to listen. The listening conference has been discontinued, but episodes 2-4 will be included on the podcast in 2021. So stay subscribed. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Alanna: So, I am the founder of a brand called play, learn, and thrive. Well, I’m still a teacher so I’m a public school teacher I’ve been teaching for about 10 years and after I became a mom I sort of saw the issues that I was seeing in public school and realized that I wanted to do something about it. And so, I founded this brand this company to help educate parents and just to give them permission to step back and let their kids play, not push early academics and just kind of allow kids to really have a childhood. Xo Playtime Yay, we just finished another play podcast because I love learning through play. A quick reminder that you can join anytime our XO playtime membership where you can access all of my XO playtime learning plans. Each plan is centered around a theme and includes creative arts, reading, and writing, math and engineering, science sensory, dramatic play, social studies which is code for field trips and gross motor play along with some supplemental activities at the end some book ideas and some super fun engaging interactive learning through play activities to create your little problem solvers and engineers. Go to XOLaurenPace.com/XOplaytime for more information or click the link in my show notes. Find Alanna here @playlearnthrivekids (FB, Insta, Pinterest, Twitter) https://playlearnthrive.com

Today we're going to jump in with an episode on, ‘how children learn and what we should value in our children's education’. ACADEMIC VS. INTELLECTUAL GOALS So, we're going to talk about two different types of learning and specifically, I’m talking about for under kindergarten age level right now, but this will apply for all age levels. So, there are two different goals in learning that I want to talk to you about. The first is academic and the second is intellectual. So, academic goals focus on the mastery of facts. So, memorizing the alphabet, practicing drills, worksheets, and other kinds of exercises that prepare children for the next level of numeracy and learning. So, in older grades, this would be you know, the things that we have to know the facts for to memorize for a test history information that kind of stuff. Okay intellectual goals, emphasize reasoning, hypothesizing, posing questions, predicting answers to questions, developing and analyzing ideas, and then trying to understand something. So, we need both goals when it comes to learning. However, much of the early curriculum in non-accredited programs focus on the academic goals before the intellectual goals. Academic learning will happen without a doubt in kindergarten first grade and second grade, but research argues that preschoolers and toddlers actually will do better academically if they have the executive functioning skills which include self-regulation, organizing and planning, and flexible thinking before those academic goals come. XO PLAYTIME check out xo playtime here: xolaurenpace.com/xoplaytime ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Empathy is certainly something that we can learn and it's not something that we're born with and it's something that we practice and that we come to live out and it begins with a foundation of strong emotional intelligence as kids. Empathy is literally being curious and trying to draw out everything from inside a person's mind that is making them feel a certain way and we can start to develop this with kids by working with them to perceive their emotions and understand the context that creates those emotions in themselves and other people. It's my hope that this will lead to stronger friendships, stronger relationships and better performance in life, better social skills, the prevention of mental illness and all the physical, illness and sadness that we're seeing in the world. My hope is that these things will help to make it better. Find Dr. Nissen www.DrNissen.com IG: @Dr.Nissen Youtube: "Brain Health with Dr. Nissen" Podcast: "Brain Health with Dr. Nissen" ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Today I have a special guest joining us. Dr. Rahat Sayyad.  I found her on Instagram and she's from India! She is a physician (Intensivist practicing for 6 years), a mom of two toddlers and she enjoys reading medical journals, listening with podcasts, writing, she can't dance and she hates lizards. I love those fun facts about her. I was reading through some of her posts and I was really interested with one in particular about how we have to parent differently than the way we were raised and not to say that our parents are wrong, but times have changed and there are so many things we can do better when we know better. So we're going to cover some of those things today. I get comments all the time from my mom, her friends, my aunts and they always say I wish I would have known this when I was raising kids. I think that's something just like with kids when they know better, they can do better and when WE know better WE can do better.  Let's talk about how we can raise emotionally stable well-adjusted humans by parenting differently than we were parented and I've selected just a few of her eight points that she made in her post to expand on with me. (The rest of this blog is information from Dr. Rahat Sayyad that was spoken on my podcast) ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

BITING USUALLY BEGINS DURING TODDLERHOOD Around 17 months to the age of three years old is the peak of aggression for most children. This aggression comes out in hitting, biting, scratching, or screaming. And the reason why this is the most aggressive period of time is that children have higher needs but lower language skills. Their needs are higher, but they don't have the skills to be able to communicate those needs. A lot of their frustration and communication come out with physical aggression, hence an increase in biting. It’s important to know before I get started that biting is absolutely developmentally appropriate, meaning it is normal for children to bite. They are not Psychopaths. They do not need to be isolated or never have a playdate again. There are things we can do to help with the biting, reduce it, and have our children function in a way so they can be around other children. So biting is absolutely normal, but it is also unacceptable. WHY DO CHILDREN BITE? ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Is it a speech delay? Don’t wait and see. Discover how to determine if your child has a speech delay, the next steps, and how the delay affects success with behavior, academics, and social life. Speech delay is sometimes confused with autism and vice versa. With Speech Therapist, Angie Hronek, MS, CCC-SLP www.ASHA.org @speechworksutah www.speechworksutah.com https://speechworksutah.lpages.co/now-youre-talkin ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Jake Neeley is the Malouf Foundation director, which is a foundation that is a part of the company Malouf. Malouf Foundation is supported by Malouf, so anything that comes into the foundation goes out to support their cause. Human trafficking is one of the fastest-growing criminal enterprises in the world. Jake considers himself familiar with this cause but recognizes that this is a complicated, multi-faceted issue that we are ALL learning about. Any of us can learn more about human trafficking. Everyone doesn't have to be an EXPERT, but this will bring us to a higher level of competence to understand what it looks like and how to help victims. Find Malouf Foundation: https://www.malouffoundation.org/ Take the Malouf Foundation On Watch training here: https://www.malouffoundation.org/onwatch/ Instagram: @malouffoundation ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

So back at the beginning when I did my very first podcast, I talked to you guys about a boy in my classroom who had really challenging behavior (he was stabbing kids with pencils), and everything we were trying just wasn't working. And so we implemented an individualized Behavior Support plan. What I didn't tell you in the episode is everything that led up to that. I'm going to talk to you a little bit about the teaching pyramid model and why it's so important for us to understand not only as teachers but also as parents. There are foundational pieces that we need to have present in our homes to help us create an environment that supports the kind of behaviors that we want our children to have before we get into the consequences and the discipline. ⋒ BOOK PURCHASE: https://bit.ly/xojournal ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

All behavior is communication, even PARENT behavior. When we feel triggered or explode for no logical reason -- it's likely that we have trapped emotion coming to the surface. Talesha Carter, is going to share how we UN-TRAP that emotion & how do we help our kids do the same. Emotions are energy in motion. If you take anything that has energy, like a thought, vibration, feeling -- all of that combined together can become trapped in the body. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________ Find Talesha Taleshakim.com Facebook: Talesha Kim IG: Instagram.com/taleshakim

Family Culture is made up of the unwritten rules. The things that the [insert last name] do. It’s what relationships look like And what this family does when no one else is watching. We spend so much time planning for the wedding, college, vacation, first day of school… that sometimes we overlook the day-to-day. The tiny moments, interactions, patterns, and habits that are actually shaping our children's world view. The day-to-day is where you will find the family culture. Our traditions, the days we value, the activities we participate in, who cleans, who cooks, how we talk about our neighbors, how we look at strangers. The affection we show and the way we resolve conflicts. All of these little things are part of the way our children see the world. Strong families don’t happen by accident. It’s intentional. Family culture isn’t how big our house is or how many toys we buy. It isn’t how many activities we sign them up for or what our favorite meals are. Family culture is the values, priorities, habits, and experiences we choose for our family.  It’s the atmosphere of our homes.  It’s what makes our families unique. 1. What do we want for our child long term? aka When our kids leave the home, who do we want them to be? 2. How can we help them develop this? -- Pick 5 Values that you want for your child long-term. -- Go through each value and ask the question, how can we help them develop this? ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Dr. Brittan Barker has professional and personal experience with person-centered care and ADVOCATING for your child who needs extra support. Dr. Barker talks about how to advocate for your child, the process from assessment to intervention, and the REALNESS of how exhausting it can be. 🌟SCHOOL-AGE FREE SUPPORT PROCESS🌟 Write a formal letter Get a psycho-social educational evaluation free Parents will be given a packet of test results Meeting with the family Move forward with IEP (if qualified) 🌟UNDER-THREE FREE SUPPORT PROCESS🌟 Contact your state’s early intervention hotline Get evaluated for free in your home by professionals Get IFSP support (if qualified — pay scale may apply) "Parents need to take care of themselves just as much as their kids and there's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed or feel guilty about these are our kids and they happened here for very specific and special reasons and it's our job as parents to support them just as we would if they were learning to ride a bike." FIND MORE FROM BRITTAN The easiest way to find out more about Brittan and some of the work she does, especially our research would be at our Labs website. Her lab at Utah State is called the Aural Rehabilitation Lab. USU’s Rehabilitation specifically supports rehabilitation for people who are affected by hearing loss. Website is www.BrittanBarker.com. Instagram @auralrehablab WEBSITE SUPPORTS - Institute for Patient- and Family-Centered Care https://www.ipfcc.org/bestpractices/sustainable-partnerships/background/pfcc-defined.html - Dr. Barker’ Aural Rehabilitation Lab at USU www.brittanbarker.com - Baby Watch Early Intervention program for children aged 0-3 years who live in Utah http://health.utah.gov/cshcn/programs/babywatch.html - How to find an early intervention program for children aged 0-3 years in your state (English) https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/parents/states.html - How to find an early intervention program for children aged 0-3 years in your state (Spanish) https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/spanish/actearly/parents/intervencionTemprana.html - How to request an initial evaluation for special education services for your elementary school-aged child (with model letter; English) https://www.parentcenterhub.org/evaluation-2/ - How to request an initial evaluation for special education services for your elementary school-aged child (with model letter; Spanish) https://www.parentcenterhub.org/carta-evaluacion/ - What is an IFSP? https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/treatments-approaches/early-intervention/ifsp-what-it-is-and-how-it-works - What is an IEP? https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/special-services/ieps/understanding-individualized-education-programs ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Today I'm going to talk to you guys about something called the “Safe Place.” So the safe place is actually something that I get the most negative comments about. In fact, it's the topic that I get the ONLY negative comments about. I seriously don't get very many negative comments about the stuff that I teach, except for this so on Instagram, Facebook, and on my blog I've gotten comments before and I'll share some of those as the episode goes on. I am going to tell you about the strategy, how it works, and why it's actually one of the best things you can teach your child contrary to the misinformed commenters. First and foremost, we do NOT do timeouts in our home. So timeouts typically go like this: you either have a Time Out Chair, time-out Corner, or they have to sit in a certain place for a certain amount of time. The expectation is that as soon as they come out of a timeout, they should be behaving well. Timeouts that aren't effective usually result in Slammed doors, yelling frustrated parents doing whatever they can to get the results that they want, and not knowing any other possible way. It's just so common to do at timeouts. So what we do might look like a time out to your natural eye, but I'm going to explain how it's different. Read the blog: https://xolaurenpace.com/blog/2020/5/26/4g67t7yo2lr7dpm83c7flvtp3y4rgl ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Ever since Wendy introduced me to sensory, and its effect on behavior, my eyes have been opened. Something that's really stood out to me was one of the sensory things was proprioceptive input and she talked about how we have different preferences. So some of us like to sleep with like heavy blankets on or have tight jeans or whatever and I was like, that is me it changed my life. If I don't have a heavier comforter, I have to put pillows on top of me to get to sleep and so it just helps me figure out my own sensory preferences and calm my body. The Seven Senses Imagine that we all have a series of seven cups in us and each cup represents our seven senses. (Yes, there are seven— there's actually nine but we're just going to go into seven cuz the other two are less researched). So a big cup would mean our body is seeking more of that a little cup is our body only tolerate a little bit of it. So we're going to avoid it most of the time. Our seven senses are see, hear, taste, touch, smell, proprioception, and vestibular. Somebody with a large hearing cup would be one who likes to have the music on and they don't mind background noise. They can have a conversation with people without having things bother them noise does not bother them really, and they enjoy the noise. Somebody with a small hearing cup (which is most moms at like 6 p.m) would be one where loud noise can be really overstimulating or just overpowering and too much. Find Wendy's workshop here: https://exceptionalparentingpodcast.com/epf-lauren/ Follow here on instagram here: instagram.com/wendybertagnole ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

A lot of times as parents -- we are saying the right things! But we are saying them at the wrong time. It's not about what you're doing. It's about WHEN you're doing it. In the "green arrow" moments, we teach. In the "yellow arrow" moment, we prompt. And in the red, sometimes we prompt, mostly we STAY SAFE. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________

Mr. Chazz is an educational specialist from Virginia. One day a few weeks ago, I was scrolling through TikTok and discovered Mr. Chazz. I was going through video after video, so impressed with his content. It lines up with what I teach here -- All behavior is communication, understanding tantrums, connection seeking behaviors instead of attention-seeking. It's a rarity to find a male early educator. But I worked with several males when I was a preschool teacher and LOVED IT! So I already knew he'd be such a great addition to the Xo Parenting podcast. I reached out… and asked if he'd come on my podcast. He agreed. And I had him scheduled for episode 12 in August. And then George Floyd was murdered -- and the video impacted the hearts of many. The need to hear from Mr. Chazz became so much more urgent for me and I think all of you as well. Whether you are a parent or teacher, White, Black, Hispanic, Asian… I know we will all learn a lot from the wonderful Mr. Chazz. A few things you need to know about this man. 1. He was a Spoken Word Artist in College 2. He has a Masters degree in Executive Leadership 3. His first teaching experience was a Montessori class of 30 3-5 year-olds 4. I did music with over 100 kids every Friday with children ranging 0 - 6 before the pandemic. Today he's going to talk to us about how to look at what happened in Minneapolis from a human development perspective. ⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________ www.patreon.com/mrchazz TikTok @TickTeachTok Instagram @Mrchazz

⋒ SHOW NOTES: xolaurenpace.com/xoparenting ⋒ FACEBOOK GROUP: facebook.com/groups/xoparenting Sign up for 2-week or 4-week parent coaching for 10% off with code XOPARENTINGPODCAST, xolaurenpace.com/coaching _____________________________________ If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes. Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world. I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships. _____________________________________ So the first thing that we learned here is all behavior is communication. We have to figure out what they're communicating by looking at the patterns, what happens before, what happens after, what's reinforcing them to do that behavior on accident, or on purpose. Second, we have to teach the skills that they need proactively. So we can't wait until he chokes somebody with a rope or stabs someone with a pencil to try to teach them how to enter play. At that point, he's too far gone. He's in an emotionally reactive state. And the third thing is that none of this is the child's fault. None of it. Not one time in this whole episode has I said, "This kid is so bad, we need him out of here. Like I can't control him. He needs to be gone". No, I kept trying to figure out what I needed to do to support him. It's not the child's fault. They aren't giving you a hard time. Children are having a hard time. Understanding that all behavior is communication changed my entire life. It did. It changed my entire life.