When we experience healthy love for the first time after years of unsettling, unhealthy, toxic relationships, one of the first reactions we can have is "why does this feel so boring?" Often we confuse safety with a lack of passion, or assume that just because this person doesn't activate our nervous system, we are missing the spark. This is often left over from past relationships where we have confused anxiety with excitement.  In this episode, we bring on Sarah Yudkin, the founder of You Love and You Learn to break down the relationship anxiety that comes with experiencing healthy love for the first time and how to dissect your relationship OCD, the unconscious ways we sabotage relationships and all that comes with it. Listen now.    Sarah's website: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/  Follow Sarah on Instagram: @youloveandyoulearn Follow the Podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Follow me on Instagram: @jemmasbeg    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hosted by two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back, TamBam and AJ are helping women maneuver through the Sea of Men! "We Talk Back” podcast is here to guide femininity to its ultimate greatness. We Talk Back podcast is giving their listeners the raw and unfiltered comedic gift of repartee. With thought-provoking conversations about sex, relationships, and money with a dash of danger and glitter. TamBam & AJ will also help listeners seeking non-professional guidance, as these ladies deliver advice and their personal thoughts on topics. Listen here and subscribe to We Talk Back on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this week's episode we discuss the curse of being an overachiever. Society celebrates us for our successes, for our ability to work hard, push ourselves and constantly be the best. But this sometimes has contradictory consequences whereby the more we invest in our achievements, the less satisfaction and fulfillment we feel. We break down the paradox of being an overachiever and explore:  The impact of being labelled a 'gifted child' Golden child syndrome and family expectations External validation The overachiever's identity crisis  The burnout cycle  Learning your limits and redefining success  Listen now!    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dating in our 20s can feel like a minefield, a lot of people don't know what they want, what they like, we get ghosted, we get stood up, and then there are the first dates. First dates can feel intimidating but today we are breaking down my 10 tips to have the best first dates of your life. By adopting the mindset that you are there to learn more about yourself and have a fun experience, we take first dates off a pedestal and lower the stakes. Dating is a skill than anything else, it is something that we get better at over time, so what are some ways that we can have better first dates from a psychological perspective, how can we really draw these people in, feel our best, feel most charismatic and in our power but also able to get what we want out of this experience: from the scent you wear, to the location you should choose, the nonverbal cues you should be putting out, how to leverage the power of suspense, all of that and more in this episode. Listen now.    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today's episode we bring on the wonderful, Katy Bellotte, to discuss everything love, dating and relationship in our 20s. We discuss what it feels like to have never had a relationship in your 20s, the milestone anxiety and societal pressure that makes us to feel like we need to settle for someone we're not fully committed to, feeling behind and what it feels like to finally find the one. Katy also talks moving to New York City, what it's like to live your life online and managing expectations around social media. Listen now!  Follow Katy: https://www.instagram.com/katybellotte/?hl=en  Follow The Psychology of your 20s: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A lot of us in our 20s feel the urge to upend everything and move to a new city - maybe for work, for a partner or just for the pure adventure of a new experience and environment. So in this episode we're going to break down why our 20s are perhaps the best time to make this major life change, from the lack of external responsibilities to the psychological benefits it brings, including self reflection, promoting a growth mindset and realising our ideal selves. We'll also explore why the urge to move to a new city really reflects our innate novelty seeking behaviour and why some people, the so called 'serial movers', can never seem to stay in one place for long. And finally, what are some of the practical ways we can actually do this and build community, maintain financial security, avoid feeling isolated? And what exactly is the so-called '6 month' rule? All of that and more, listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's been a while since my last life update so I thought we would take a bit of a breather and sit down for a nice chatty episode, just for you all the loyal podcast listeners, discussing all the recent changes and surprises that have been transpiring in my life as of late. From discovering what a healthy relationship looks like after years of tragic dating stories, the end of my single era, to moving to NYC and writing a book (!!!) there is so much to cover, alongside answering some of your burning questions. Listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Increasingly, those of us in our 20s are facing an exceeding pressure to be exceptional and have a million accomplishments and accolades under our belt. If we are not successful, what are we worth? Examples like the Forbes 30 under 30, the wunderkind phenomena and young success stories all make us feel like we're not achieving enough or are falling behind. Today we're going to break down exactly why we feel this way, using theories around self determination, observational learning and social comparison. We'll also examine how we can break away from our need to be defined by our successes using practices like mindfullness, examining our online persona and capturing delight to use our 20s to explore rather than excel. Listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Each of us deals with feelings of embarrassment, awkwardness and feeling social self conscious every now and then. But social anxiety can cause us a level of emotional, mental and physical discomfort that disrupts out ability to build authentic connection and can hold us back. In this episode we break down the psychology of social anxiety, particularly deconstructing the belief that everyone is judging us or that the opinions of others matter. We look at the distinction between everyday anxiety and a social phobia, the links to perfectionism and overthinking and methods for managing our social anxiety including the "so what" mentality and treating our anxiety like excitement rather than fear to allow us to pursue social authenticity over perfectionism. All that and more, listen now! Subscribe to my Patreon to support the show: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, I want to talk about depression. And not just from a psychological and scientific perspective but also from a personal perspective, sharing parts of my story. It's not something I've talked about much on the podcast but recently I've really come to terms with my own shame and stigma and I want to discuss where I'm at now, the journey I've been on and how its impacted the life I've created for myself in my 20s. We're also going to explore some of the key principles and theories behind the origins of depression, misconceptions, the different forms of depression, historical recognition of this condition, whether exercise really is a 'cure', and the new frontier of depression research, including the proposed use of psychedelics and ketamine.  If you or someone you know needs help, please see the below resources:  Beyond Blue - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ Black Dog Institute - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/depression/  Lifeline (for immediate over the phone support) - 13 11 14  For further reading, please see the below articles:  Genetic Factors in Major Depression - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6065213/  Childhood Trauma and Its Relationship to Chronic Depression in Adulthood - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4677006/ Depression as a disease of modernity - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3330161/  Effects of Naturalistic Psychedelic Use on Depression, Anxiety, and Well-Being - https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.831092/full  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s something we all inevitably experience in our dating lives, the pain of a break-up, saying goodbye to someone we loved and then, one day, the realisation that your ex has moved on and is with someone new. It can be incredibly confronting and painful, so today we're going to explore exactly why it hurts, even if deep down, we know we were never going to work. We will dive into the psychological ideas and theories behind rosy retrospection, social comparison, our self worth and the emotional and psychological closure that occurs when our ex moves on. We also examine the role of the rebound and why it’s important to take time to heal before getting into a new relationship, as explained by the addiction model of heartbreak and stages of grief. But finally, what next? Now that the chapter has finally closed, how do we move on and heal in a healthy manner and ignore those lingering self doubts that everything we had with our ex, they're now having with someone. All that and more in this episode, listen now!  Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So often in life, we are our own worst enemies. The meanest and loudest voice in our head is our own. So why are we so hard on ourselves? In this episode we break down the psychological underpinnings behind our inner critic, from the proposed evolutionary role of negative self talk, to the influence of our upbringing including the distinction between conditional and unconditional positive regard, parental expectations and childhood bullying. We examine how social comparison and overthinking can contribute to a poor self perception but, also, how we can adopt the methods of radical self compassion and cognitive diffusion to silence that inner voice and be free from self judgement. Listen now!  Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s Harvard Business Review article: https://hbr.org/2021/05/stop-being-so-hard-on-yourself Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en&__coig_restricted=1See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The term 'gaslighting' has grown in popularity in recent years and become part of our shared psychobabble, giving our generation the language to describe a pattern of behaviour that has existed for centuries. This week on the podcast, we explore a recent story in the media on gaslighting and dive into what gaslighting actually means from a psychological perspective. We explore the origins of the term, how it references pop culture, the six behavioural patterns adopted by gaslighters and the links to narcissism and pathological lying. We also discuss how to identify this behaviour, detach from these individuals and move forward from the emotional hangover created by gaslighting. All that and more, listen now!  Subscribe to our Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s The article mentioned: https://www.asanet.org/wp-content/uploads/attach/journals/oct19asrfeature.pdf See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the podcast we are breaking down the psychology of our dreams - why we dream, the role of our brain, what our dreams mean, repressed desires, nightmares and even the role of daydreaming for our mental wellbeing. If you've ever wondered about your weird dreams, some of the scientific theories and whether you are a maladaptive daydreamer, this episode is for you as we jump into the fascinating science and psychology behind these imaginative, colourful hallucinations. Listen now!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.