On today's episode, I talk with Tom Holmes. He and his wife, Lauri wrote the book, "Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life." Sharon Eckstein created incredible illustrations which are in the book and the Inner Active cards. The book and the Parts Work Inner Active cards are some of my favorite IFS tools. I can't express how much I love- and use- the parts cards! Tom has been around the IFS community for a long time- Dick mentions him in the epi we did last fall. Tom tells us his journey with IFS and how his personal work helped him with burnout (we have heard that many times of this podcast). He describes the origin of the book and cards and describes how he has seen over and over again the power of these very special cards across cultures. Tom now travels the world teaching IFS or what he sometimes calls Parts Work, Internal Systems Therapy, or Integrated Internal Systems Therapy. Tom is passionate about integrating Spirituality and IFS and is working on his next book exploring spiritual paths. I wrote down so many quotes of Tom's such as: "As a person gets centered in Self, their spiritual life awakens and deepens." We can "water the seeds of Self" (through spiritual rituals, meditation, nature, etc). "When we bring peace to our inner system, we bring peace to the world." "If we can help people tap into and access Self/Spirit/Connected Energy- what else is more important?" (That is a loose quote!) Email Tom at tomholmes42@gmail.com if you want to talk with him about teaching IFS at your organization. Tom's website has many videos of him teaching and with a demonstration of the Parts Work Cards. My son and I love the video of Tom using the Inside Out Puppets! If you want to connect with me, I am at #ifstammy on Instagram and at The One Inside Facebook page. I will see you for Season 2 in September! Enjoy and take care!  

On today's episode I speak with Radhalisa Zarzuela and Deran Young. Radha and Deran met at a level one IFS training in Harlem, NY. Radha shares her story with us which is touching and courageous. I felt inspired by her and think you will too. We talk about 'rules' which may come from our cultures and the legacy burdens we carry. We talk about "code switching" as a person of color. We talk about the impact of domestic violence and the power of coming out of this with "trauma residue" and with a strong voice. And we talk about being in the Miss America pageant (I bet you didn't think I was going to say that!).  This may be the last in the minority mental health series for this month! I hope you have been encouraged and challenged. Enjoy!

On today's episode, I speak with Deran Young, President and CEO of Black Therapists Rock and the IFS Institute's Online Ambassador. We met to record this at the beginning of May. We were still feeling the isolation and challenge of Covid-19 and George Floyd was still alive. We had no idea what was to come. I'm thrilled and honored to give you the first of four episodes devoted to Minority Mental Health Awareness. Today is some of Deran's story- why she created BTR, her experience as a military psychotherapist, the challenge of dealing with divorce, health issues, and becoming a single mother, and her introduction to IFS. She talks about the origins of her younger 'self esteem' part and the freedom and power of unburdening and healing her. And so much more.  She is funny and kind and fun and lovely. I'm glad we are going to get 3 more hours (at least!) with her this month. Here is what Deran is reading: You are a Badass at Making Money A Framework for Understanding Poverty Dare To Lead To get more info about BTR: Black Therapists Rock Find the incredible work Deran did around her own legacy burden here: Deran and Dick Legacy Burden demo New Deal for The One Inside Listeners from Brighter Vision here! Enjoy!

Dr. Ed Yeats and I chat about IFS, Shamanism, and Tibetan Buddhism. Weaved into our conversation from beginning to end is attunement and synchronicity. We attune to our parts, to one another, to nature, to our own spiritual journey. Synchronicity is an interesting and fascinating part of our journey. This is a long one so here is a bit of an outline: 1. Tuning in, like to stations of a radio 2. "I'm still an oak tree." 3. From spiritual seeker to finder: American Shamanism, Soul Retrieval, and Soul Loss  4. IFS is a form of Shamanism 5. Exposure to IFS- can't help loving it 6. Power animals 7. Self as the Shaman. Guides and Guidance. 8. God, Self, Parts or Guides? 9. Ed's information Last 20 plus minutes: 10. Parallels between IFS and Tibetan Buddhism 11. Spiritual Bypassing 12. Our own beliefs systems impact on the work 13. What I said to Dick when we were alone in a hallway for about 10 seconds (this was a few years ago before he and I did our podcast) Enjoy! Listen to Ed on The Noble Mind Podcast here: https://noblemindpodcast.com/14-ed-yeats/ Check out Derek Scott's Master Class list for Ed's upcoming workshop here: https://ifsca.ca/workshops/ Get the full workshop with Dick Schwartz and Lama John Makransky here: https://ifs-institute.com/store/205 and a little teaser of that event here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PMPjVOTknE    

I'm soooo excited about this episode where I chat with Dr. Angela Huebner, a triple threat therapist, writer, speaker. She is very smart and very warm, two attributes I greatly admire. We talk about the 'why' behind all the weird questions we ask in IFS. My only regret is I didn't ask her more about this! We shift over to talk about Lifeforce Yoga and 'breathing to shift emotion' at about the 40 minute mark. As I was editing this I was like, "Oh no! That is it, I want more!" Angela calls our ability to Focus our superpower and explains- in a way that makes sense I promise!- the quantum physics behind this important question (focus on where you feel that in your body, focus on that part, etc.). Angela explains what is happening in our brains and bodies when we retrieve an exile (really! Isn't that interesting!?). We talk about memory and the brain and longing and spirituality. It is so good. To find out more about Bruce Ecker's memory reconsolidation go to: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwiHio7F_IvqAhUxUt8KHR-nD-cQFjAGegQIBBAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.coherencetherapy.org%2Ffiles%2FEcker-etal-NPT2013April-Primer.pdf&usg=AOvVaw17UnyTT2xgNvKIDVhS6xi1 To find out more about Lifeforce yoga: https://yogafordepression.com/about-amy-weintraub/ To find out more about Siegel and Interpersonal Neurobiology: https://www.drdansiegel.com/books/pocket_guide_to_interperOnsonal_neurobiology/ To find out more about Angela and her latest workshops: https://www.angelahuebner.com/ To connect with me with feedback, ideas, questions or just say Hi- drop me a note at The One Inside Facebook page or on Instagram at IFSTammy. Enjoy!    

On today's episode, I chat with Shelly Johnson, author of the fantastic book, "The Parts Inside of Me." Shelly and I spend about half the episode talking about the power of Self and half walking through her book. Shelly shares her powerful story in between.  Shelly begins her book with these two meaningful quotes: "If you love what's in your way, they will transform." - Dick Schwartz "I believe that there is a divine spark in every human being, although it may be buried deeply."- Michi Rose One of the things we talk about is how the experience of Self is like Falling into the Arms of Presence. To learn more about Shelly go to: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/compassionate-hearts-therapy-ankeny-ia/443304 To get Shelly's book go to (or find at your local bookstore): https://www.amazon.com/Parts-Inside-Shelly-Johnson-LMHC/dp/1480886254 Enjoy!      

On today's episode- the 50th! episode - I get to chat with Anne Hallward founder and host of Safe Space Radio. Anne is passionate about helping others who have suffered the "repetition of traumatic silence." Not only have they experienced a horrible trauma, they have to be silent about it for fear of backlash. Silence following a trauma perpetuates shame and blame. Anne refers to this as the "wounding of silence." She shares her 7 step process which increases the possibility of having an exiled story welcomed back when it is finally told. We want our silent stories heard and this process helps us have the best chance. Our protective parts are afraid our exiles (and their stories) will ruin everything. But the truth is when our exiles are received by our Self, they are truly welcomed home. To watch Ann's Ted talk go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dMlsnrLN9U To check out Safe Space Radio's "Talking to White Kids about Race and Racism:" https://safespaceradio.com/talking-to-white-kids-about-race-racism/ Enjoy!  

On today's episode, Marilyn and I chat about AM-IFS. Marilyn has held workshops for several years at the IFS annual conference and in her hometown of Sudbury, Massachusetts. AM-IFS is based on the work of Janet Adler and Mary Stark Whitehouse which Marilyn has integrated with IFS. It is like a moving meditation where you connect with parts and feel witnessed by another. One goal of AM is to help people "extend their aliveness by exploring their feelings and their experience of feeling themselves moving."- Mary Stark Whitehouse I had the privilege of being with Marilyn a few times- It is a powerful experience! I think the theme of this episode is WITNESSING- the power of being with your own inner parts as you move and having a safe, connected witness with you. Find out more about Marilyn here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/marilyn-unger-riepe-sudbury-ma/41464 Email Marilyn at muriepe@verizon.net to get on her mailing list so you don't miss out on future AM-IFS workshops. And join her Facebook group Moving Into Self Compassion. Enjoy!  

On today's episode, Jennifer Farley and I chat about how the body can help us connect to parts and Self. We also talk about Shamanism and its connection to IFS. I found this conversation fascinating and I cannot wait to have Jenn on again! Here are a few of the highlights: - Use of movement as a psychological treatment intervention. - How you move and hold yourself reflects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others, and how you experience the world. - You can get to know parts of yourself by being curious about how that part exists in your body when it is blended. How do you carry yourself when that part is present? - What is that part trying to communicate to your through your body?  - Using movement to connect to qualities of Self. - How parts use different developmental Soothing Rhythms (rocking, biting, sucking, wringing, swaying). - Shamanism: The Essence of IFS is shamanic in its nature: guiding us into our internal world, helping us to navigate the energetic world inside, and shifting our energy during the unburdening ritual. Jen offers individual shamanic healing virtually and integrated psychotherapy services to those in CA. She also regularly offers  workshops and retreats. You can find all about her (and read her body speaks blog!) at: https://www.shamanhealingmonterey.com/ She offers workshops in collaboration with the Monterey Bay Meditation Studio. Check them out here: https://www.montereybaymeditation.com/ Enjoy! Do not forget to subscribe to the podcast and write a review. Come say Hi on Instagram @Ifstammy and join our community at The One Inside Facebook group. I'd love to connect with you.   

On today's episode, I talk with Dr. Nancy Morgan and Travis Shubeck. Nancy is the Director of LifeMoves Behavioral Health and Training Programs, a California agency dedicated to breaking the cycle of homelessness. Nancy introduced IFS into the training curriculum during the 2015-2016 year. Travis Shubeck is one of the trainees and students who chose to complete his practicum at LifeMoves. Travis is working on an IFS manual for case managers who work with the homeless population. Travis states IFS,  "is an opportunity to get out of my head and into my heart." Both Nancy and Travis speak about the power the IFS model in clinical supervision, in working with the homeless population who have been through trauma, and in preventing student/therapist burnout. To find out more about Life Moves: https://www.lifemoves.org/ To contact Nancy: https://www.drnlmorgan.com/ Enjoy!

On this special episode, I chat with Leslie Petruck for a quick chat about her upcoming workshop which is for ALL parents- knowledge of IFS not necessary! Spread the word to the parents you know because … yeah .... it. is. hard. Here is what you can expect over the 4 weeks: 1. Intentional vs Reactive Parenting- How to be more 'Self' led 2. Befriending all of your parts and your child's parts 3. The 5 P's of Parenting 4. Connection- increases confidence and cooperation (yes, please!)  Sign up here! https://courses.selfleadership.org/item/ifs-parenting-lunch-learns-60316?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=050820_IFS_Parenting_Sales_2_9am&utm_content= To find out more about Leslie go to: https://www.thestonecenternc.com/    

On today's episode, I chat with Rebecca Ching who is certified in The Daring Way and IFS. I thought about calling this episode IFS meets Brene' Brown as Rebecca brings us her expertise in both. Obviously, we talk about shame and trauma and vulnerability. How could we not!? Rebecca introduces us to the unburdened leader who is 'trauma informed', compassionate, and resilient. And this leader leads from the 8C's of Self leadership (curiosity, calm, confident, clear minded, etc). We touch on the enneagram, eating disorders, and parenting. And, we talk about Taylor Swift. Enjoy!  To listen to Rebecca's podcast and to find out about all the amazing things she is up to go to: https://www.rebeccaching.com/   

In todays episode, Derek Scott and I discuss his Grief Corp initiative and how complicated grief and mourning is for those who have lost a loved one due to Covid-19. We talk in detail about what makes the grief process so complex right now by talking about our own reactions to all that is happening. Grief Corp groups are 6 weeks bereavement groups run by volunteers. Derek has done an incredible job setting up a structure for this for his community in Canada. If you are interesting in doing something similar for your community/region/country contact Derek at derek@ifsca.ca. To watch Grief Corps videos on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWd30owocXg To sign up for Grief Corps (in Canada) or to see how Derek has set this up: https://ifsca.ca/grief-corps/sign-up-for-facilitators/

In this solo episode, I share my reactions and realizations while watching the grief portion of the IFS Institute's webinar released this past week. My hope is your parts will resonate with mine, and you will slow down and be with your reactions (ie, parts) as we walk through the stages of grief together. To watch the entire Grief and Polarization webinar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blDmCGAIt7E&t=23s Register for Dick's workshop on Spirituality MAY 5: https://ifsca.ca/workshops/ Check out Dick and latest info about IFS on IFS talks: https://podtail.com/en/podcast/ifs-talks/ Enjoy!  

In today's episode, I talk with Chris Burris, a lead trainer with the IFS Institute. Chris and I talk specifically about the current 'stressor' of Covid-19 and our fears around it. Chris states we can recognize our normal cast of (Internal) characters, system's constellation, patterns of parts during this pandemic. And, this feels a bit comforting to me to know that what I am feeling and doing is quite typical during times of stress. Even though this current stress is anything but typical or normal or familiar, my systems response is. Chris suggests we have the greatest impact on our entire system if we can identify our core fear by inquiring inside, "What are you afraid would happen if you weren't active in this way?" We can turn our part detector on and get curious when we get triggered, upset, or lit up. Our parts work hard to keep us safe and our lives are often designed to not feel feelings. During this pandemic we are not able to engage in some of our protector activities that keep us away from our fears. Therefore, we may be feeling more vulnerable and more anxious overall. Do you find yourself watching the news over and over? Chris wonders about parts who have confused commiserating with compassion and contributing. Finally, we talk about loving on (befriending) our parts who hold core fears so they no longer feel alone and overwhelmed. And we talk about Will Smith. Enjoy and take care, Tammy

Today's episode is a 'take two' of one we recorded in February on the initiative sponsored by the IFS Institute to take IFS into the schools. We decided to re-visit this convo given the current situation with Covid-19 and all schools shifting to remote learning. The result is this incredibly inspirational episode about the power of Self during this time of uncertainty and stress. We start with a meditation because I was blended with doing/busy/hyper parts and needed to land in my body and into the present moment in order to tune in and be with Joanna. We talk a bit about the 'IFS In Schools' initiative (the previous episode about this will be released at a later time) and how her group is bringing the wisdom of the IFS model into the schools. But mostly we talk about the relevance of Self leadership in Schools at this time (and in homes as parents, and in our offices as therapists, and in our grocery stores as shoppers and workers, and  ____  , and  ____ etc.  Fill in for your special circumstance because connecting to your true Self, to your Essence is vital. As far as the 'current situation' (Covid-19 and all that is happening), Joanna says we are left with our own company and need to be our own best friend. This can be challenging. She says our Self is a built in biological state just as our fight, flight, or freeze reactions. Amazing. We access more by being intentional about building bridges and pathways to come back to Self. This is so good - what a gift Joanna gives us. Go listen- and enjoy!  

In an effort to offer "simple and bite sized" help, call it a hug from my Self to your Self, I put together a small portion of an episode with Joanna and I. The full episode will be published at the same time. It is a gift to your overloaded and stressed parts. It is a quicker check in, a way to get reconnected to your center, to your Self. I encourage you to share with your non IFS informed friends. Much Love- Tammy

Happy 1st Birthday to The One Inside! On this quick solo episode, I check in to offer Thanks to all the guests who said "Yes!" and to all the listeners who shared the podcast with clients, friends, family, and peers. I read from my new fav book, "Soul Talk" and remind us all of this calming essence inside available to us all, at all times. Even in times of pandemic. Put a candle in something and blow it out with me! So much love and gratitude- Tammy

On today's episode, I chat with Chris Sullivan who has a strong passion for spreading the message of IFS through what he knows best, business.  One of the things I love about this episode is the idea that the gifts of IFS and the qualities of Self (the 8 Cs) is getting out of the therapy room and into business, HR, and sales meetings.   Chris uses the 8 C radar chart (we talk about in a previous episode with Julia S) to invite his team to do a 'you turn', to start their day with asking themselves, "How am I preparing myself to go out and help the customer?" Chris calls IFS a "method of communication" and a "great template for business" that every business owner and employee would benefit from. He says we can apply the 8 Cs and the IFS process to find out who we are. This episode is inspiring and hopeful. Even in the midst of Covid 19 and Sheltering in place. And, of course we talk about a lot of other things like marriage, parenting and love languages. Enjoy and Take care. IFS in Business is an informal group of people, who have some or all of these qualities:  knowledgeable about IFS from reading Dick’s books or attending public 2-day workshops, IFS trained Level 1-2-3, IFS certified, and/or serve as staff PA’s and Trainers.  We meet monthly in a Zoom call to best practice share and grow our relationships as a largely non-licensed group of executive coaches and organizational development consultants.  We meet via Zoom the first Tuesday of every month at 8am Pacific for 60 - 90 minutes depending on the topic.  We are planning the first ever F2F Pre-Pre-Conference meeting in Denver, Wednesday, October 7th, the day before the IFS Pre-Conference sessions begin. (Assuming the Conference is a “go” since it is in October.)   To join the group and receive notifications from us email Julia Sullivan at IFSinBusiness@gmail.com. 

Mike Elkin is sorta famous. Well, I think he is. Mike is a lead trainer for the IFS Institute and, before meeting him and then working with him as a program assistant, I had heard him quoted time and again from other students and his fellow trainers. So, I was thrilled to meet him and more thrilled how we hit it off. I adore him as I think you'll be able to tell. Mike is all over the place, as you'll be able to tell, which is good for us because we get to cover many topics and get lots of 'Mike-isms.' Here are few: Shame:  my badness witnessed Moral Meaning: my need to be a good person Alcoholic belief system (whether you or family ever actually drink): A good person is a person without flaws or limitations Addiction: We need relief from shame (especially if our family had an alcoholic belief system) and get attached to whatever gives us that relief. This 'parts' strategy' gets imitated over and over again as a way to help us feel relief. Protectors don't protect. They energize and attract whatever they are trying to protect against. Receptors: follow the activated part and heal it so there is no longer a receptor for it. Couples fight about one thing: who is the better person. Each one has their 'innocent victim story.' Migraines/physical pain/back pain: Talk to the part who generates the pain. Panic attacks: almost all panic attacks are phobic reactions to unaware triggers. Mike has a 'phobia protocol' he uses that is a mixture of his history with hypnosis and IFS. Despair: parts feel relief when they stop the try-fail-shame-give up cycle. They can see Hope as a threat, Despair as a resource. Lastly, You will also hear how Dick and Mike met and how Mike finally was won over to IFS. And, I assure you, if we are able to leave our houses this summer, I will be using his house to park so I can go to the beach. Enjoy! And, take care of all your sweet parts, Tammy To learn more about the Level two course, Anxiety, Depression and Shame: https://courses.selfleadership.org/item/internal-family-systems-ifs-anxiety-depression-shame-47315 Mike's book: https://www.amazon.com/Families-Under-Influence-Changing-Alcoholic/dp/0393306704

On today's episode I speak with Karen Locke, author of "Self Compassion Day by Day: Daily Reflections with Internal Family Systems." Even though this episode was recorded in late February, it is pertinent for our times as we are just beginning to feel the impact of COVID-19. Having a daily practice of checking in with our parts has become more and more important.  I'm feeling a greater need to listen to the parts who feel disrupted, overwhelmed, afraid, and numb and letting them feel Self with them in whatever way they need. Self is courageous. Self is clear minded. When Self is with them, they are not alone. New to IFS? Karen suggests start by noticing feelings. I loved the idea that first drew her to IFS: If I am feeling jealous, ask who inside is feeling jealous? We can do the same thing right now with fear- Who inside of me is feeling fear? Karen's incredible readings are a reminder of the inner resource we all have and a reminder to listen inside and be with. We talk about group connection, running with our wild and fun ideas, and workaholics anonymous. I don't know about you, but the change in what 'work' looks like right now has brought up a lot of 'workaholic' parts! Karen sent me a handout with the WA tools and principles- I will put it up on The One Inside Facebook page. You can also email me at tammysollenberger@comcast.net for a copy. If you want to connect and practice checking in and speaking for parts, Karen already has in place several Facebook groups and weekly online meetings. Check them out at Compassionate Self Leadership Community and IFS Daily Reflections. Karen's website is https://www.emotionalhealingcoach.org/ Enjoy and take care- Tammy  

Julia S. and I planned to meet to talk about IFS and Addiction but that is not what happened. A lot of our plans are getting changed these days and it is causing a lot of our parts to react. Two days before our recorded podcast, Julia's County was ordered to 'Shelter in Place' due to the Coronavirus. This morning as I am writing this, two days after our meeting, all of California is now following the same order. It sounds like this epi is doom and gloom but it is not! Julia offers us hope and laughter. As someone well connected to the recovery community, she offers us pertinent terms as "avoid the deliberate manufacture of misery" and "pick up spiritual tools laid at my feet and use them." This sounds like IFS to me: parts who feel afraid and go to what worked to calm us in the past and Self who says I am here with you. She asks, "Am I listening to my Self as much as I'm listening to my Parts?" She walks through looking at her/our current situation through the lens of the 8 Cs: what does clarity say, what does compassion say, etc. Julia created an incredible IFS resource where she expands on the definitions of the 8 C's of Self leadership and uses a radar image as an assessment tool. Email me at tammysollenberger@comcast.net if you want a copy! Enjoy and take care- Tammy   To join SF Bay Area recovery meetings go to: https://sites.google.com/view/bayareazoomaameetings?fbclid=IwAR3YaDx133Y3sK3OGViH2uyC7ys7XACx2SshNSHnf8oxmvmluWQXdnfMwR0 To find online recovery meetings go to: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1FotwE5g0AX0edZ29XyJfLF9U0WVn7_OYECfRtn1hV1U/edit#gid=0  

Derek Scott and I decided to meet to talk about how we can support our community during difficult time. IFS brings many gifts to our bodies, minds, emotions, and to the world. Self leadership supports our parts feelings of helplessness and uncertainty, and then we can support the people we come in contact with in our families, our neighbors, our co-workers and clients. By the way, an hour after we finished recording this my son's school sent a lovely, heartfelt emailing cancelling classes. I started shaking and crying which was actually a completely unexpected response. I took a minute to be with my frightened parts as we talk about in this episode and felt an immediate shift to calm. I imagine I will return to being with this part over and over again in the next few weeks. Go listen- Take good care of all of your parts and one another. xoxo Tammy        

On today's episode I speak with Marushka Glissen, an assistant trainer with the IFS Institute about legacy burdens. Legacy burdens are the feelings, beliefs, perspectives, ways of being in the world, etc. which are passed on from generation to generation. A part of me doesn't want to tell you all we talk about because it is so powerful I want you just to listen. Another part of me who, probably like you, is picky about what I spend time listening to and will read this little blurb in a podcast episode before I commit. So, to honor that part in me- and in you- I will go ahead and tell you. Marushka's parents were Holocaust Survivors who were in Auschwitz. Her Dad was on Schindler's list. Not the movie, the actual list. Do you need to know more? For those parts I'll give some bullet points of what is inside this episode: - Importance of bearing witness - Epigenetics - Zen Peacemakers and Native Americans - Children of Alcoholics and Alcoholic burdens - Anxiety in legacy burdens And, we talk about the trees at Auschwitz. Go listen and enjoy!  To learn more about Marushka go to https://www.relationshipvisions.org/  

On today's episode I chat with Chris Burris who is a lead trainer with the IFS Institute. Grab your notebook and pen and plan to hit the pause button because this epi is jammed packed. Here is a little taste of what is inside: - therapist burn out - working with inner critics - the critic, shame, and firefighter cycle - attachment wounds, object constancy, and attempts to complete unfinished business from our past - befriending our parts helps them feel seen, heard and valued - parts are fluid, not static It is so good- Enjoy! To check out what Chris is up to visit: http://burriscounseling.com/ To learn more about IFS visit: https://ifs-institute.com/

Today’s guest is Derek Scott... that is right! Derek of the famous IFS YouTube channel. He and I act like we aren’t being recorded and won't have people listening to us chat away. We talk about all the IFS things but parenting is the main thread which runs through from beginning to end. We talk about our own exiles who affect our parenting and about those shaming firefighters who were around our own parents and now show up around us while we parent. Oh my. Derek teaches the dynamic between power and apology and repair. We cry a bit about the grief of parenting as our children grow up and move through life transitions. We discuss our own experiences with becoming parents which includes a bit of my own infertility journey. Derek wonders about a figure who is involved being a passenger, not a part.  Derek gives an example of how he teaches IFS using psychodrama. This opens up a conversation about firefighters and their important role. He walks through how he helps heal suicidal parts. Derek is warm and funny. This episode is packed full of information while at the same time being just a conversation between friends. Enjoy! *If you want more of Derek, and you will, my friends over at the IFS Talks podcast have had him on twice lately --  go check them out wherever you listen to podcasts. *Derek's website: https://ifsca.ca/ Derek's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRw6sRKzEVdbgw32JEKO-0Q

Tiffany Morgan is a well educated IFS therapist who has completed IFS levels one and two. She is well spoken and well known on social media. And, Tiffany Morgan has an extensive eating disorder treatment history which she shares on today's show. Tiffany walks through her experiences and gives listeners a glimpse into her internal system. She is open and vulnerable. I feel honored she shares her story with us all. One of the main points which stands out to me is the radical difference in IFS treatment and healing. In IFS, we look at troublesome, damaging, inappropriate, toxic behaviors and faulty, irrational, unhealthy, distorted thoughts as parts. Parts who have a very good reason for doing what they do. Parts who have an important function. Parts who may believe they are keeping you alive and away from harm. Parts who want to be heard, validated, cared for, and valued- like Tiffany says of her anorexic part she calls 'Ann'. Ann, who was seen by everyone as the bad guy, is Tiffany's fiercest protector. The other point that stands out is the power of Self witnessing our younger part's stories. This can be done in a safe, non-flooding and overwhelming way. There is an importance of the impact of having the story witnessed. Ann was protecting Annie who is young and afraid. When Ann felt compassion by Tiffany's Self she allowed Tiffany to meet who she was protecting all along. Then, Annie was able to tell her story to Tiffany and unburden her pain. The witnessing of younger parts stories by Self is a powerful experience. Above all else, Tiffany Morgan is compassionate. She is compassionate towards all of her parts and all of the parts of others. I had this experience with her when we met face to face last year at the annual IFS conference. Her compassion is her shining quality that you will hear and experience on today's episode. To check out all she is up to go to https://tiffanycobbmorgan.com/ and follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

I wish I could express how full and amazing this episode is with Natalia. Here are just some of the gifts she offers and topics we cover: - Parts are always in fight or flight; our protective system is engaged. Breath practices with Kundalini yoga help the manual activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. They help activate Self energy (calm, clear minded, confident, creative, etc.). - Playing small. - Expansion and Contraction. - Importance of daily Three Minute practices. - Fists of Anger- breath, movement, mantra. Allows the angry parts (or any intense emotion) to speak and have a voice. Bring this up (and other parts who wish to speak) intentionally and then clear them by bringing up Self energy, calming the nervous system and building internal connection. - Age of Information to Age of Aquarius- this was fascinating! We are shifting from healing/answers coming from outside of us to inside. (Sound familiar my incredible IFS family?) - Through Kundalini practices and technology we can get to a place quickly and effectively where we can heal and connect to ourselves. Natalia has seen quick transformation with sleep disruption, work difficulties, panic attacks, heartbreak and grief. -  We can activate the conscious mind. We can activate and command Self energy to be present. We tell lots of stories. We laugh. It is fun and interesting. We end with a one minute Meditation using the mantra 'satnam.' Check out all Natalia is doing here: https://www.aquariancounseling.com/ Follow/friend/subscribe to her on all the socials- Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. Enjoy!

Simon is the head honcho for IFS in Australia. We met in 2018 when we both presented at the IFS annual conference. He is funny and kind and super supportive. When we first talked about doing a podcast I assumed it would be about his journey with IFS and his passion to bring it to Australia. I was also curious about how he integrates all the other models he loves with IFS. But. You won't find that in this episode. (Well, you will a tiny bit.) The fires destroying Australia are in the news and on our hearts and minds. Simon and I couldn't NOT talk about this. I think you will hear the pain and heartbreak in his tone. This episode's content is political, overwhelming, and upsetting. And. There is hope. Simon states, "Right next to the HURT, you have LOVE."  IFS gives us the Gift of Self which is more powerful then the parts in others who trigger fears and distress our world. IFS reminds us our parts need an adult in the room and we have one inside- our Self. IFS helps us make SENSE of our selves, others, and our world. The two additional 'C' words of Self that Simon mentions to make a perfect 10 are Chairos (Kairos?) and Chiaroscuro. Google them. Check out Simon and all the happenings with IFS Australia here: https://www.internalfamilysystemstrainingaustralia.com.au/ Enjoy!

Bruce Hersey is brilliant. And hilarious. We talk about foods from Pennsylvania and the hippocampus. We talk about football and alternating bilateral stimulation. We talk about ego states and UFOs. We talk about gravity, energy and spirituality.  You will witness my shame over a scheduling error and how Bruce's accent helps my part feel connected and at home. It is a fun ride. Go listen. And Enjoy. His Website: https://www.brucehersey.com/ His Courses: https://emdrifs.com/ His YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/brucehersey/featured?disable_polymer=1 His Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/IFSEMDR/

She's a seeker. She's a dancer. She grew up in NYC in the midst of therapy culture with many "shoulds" and a bundle of grief and loss. Real healing happened for her while dancing to Prince alone in her bedroom, the place she felt connected to her body, to feelings, to imagination and creativity, to who she was authentically. Meaning, dancing connected Adrienne to her Self. She talks about her move from NYC to LA, a move from therapy to coaching. She has such a heart for healers and believes a lot of healers are caretakers in their family who have an intuitive knowing of how to help. She finds the parts coming up with clients are the ones coming up in everyday life so consultation and therapy are intertwined- similar parts come up in all of our relationships! She describes an ongoing parallel process of being a wounded healer, finding healing for herself and then bringing that to her clients. For healers who have strong striver, doing, go-go-go, scarcity parts (like me and her!), she reminds us that these parts have amazing gifts. If parts are here (even the 'bad' ones), they are here for a good reason. Her work is about "Embodied Creativity" which is integrating creativity, spirituality, and purpose making into IFS work, in and out of the therapy space. In movement, we become friends with sensations in the body and protectors soften. Her passion is intertwining parts work, playfulness, and meditation. She has found a home with IFS as all of her passions come together.  She reminds us of the importance of REST and creating sacred spaces where creativity can flow through. Then motivation and productivity can come from a different place. She suggests we ask parts daily how they would like to rest, to move, and to be. She encourages us to seek what it is like to embody Self. This felt sense memory is a powerful practice to keep coming back to and relying on. Adrienne never stopped dancing alone in her room, she never stopped her first form of meditation practice. To check out all the cool, fun stuff she is up to go to: https://adrienneglasser.com/ Join her facebook group entitled "The Healers Circle." If you are a therapist and needs some help with your website (and some money off the help!) check out: https://www.brightervision.com/inside/ And, of course, to learn all the things about IFS check out: https://www.selfleadership.org/ Let me know what your word is for 2020 - to find out my word this year (and last!) you gotta listen. Enjoy! (and Happy New Year!)

Today I chat with Barbara Holtzman, author of "Conscious Eating Conscious Living." I took so many notes! I also overshared. My manager parts are thrilled with the notetaking, not so much with the oversharing. Here are just a few of my notes, you'll have to listen for the oversharing: -Food is the parts attempt to solve the problem. -Food was/is accessible and quick. -Parts use food as medicine, it was the only resource available. -If the food is the only thing that will help, use it and feel it calming you- feel it calming your nervous system with no judgement or shame. -2 minute pause -Scale your desire for that treat. -Is sugar addictive? Barbara says we can have a sugar sensitivity. -Tapping as a coping skill- EFT (emotional freedom technique). -How is this food trying to help? -What part is eating (or ask Who is eating? Who has the craving and what may that part need from Me/Self?) -Body image.  How can I reconnect to my body and its wisdom? -"Disconnection from our body was knowing we needed to do that in order to keep our connection with our parents because that was our safety." -Eat for mouth satisfaction and to MATCH what my body wants. -Importance of tracking what prompts eating and what my body feels like during and after. -See tracking as experiments, all with curiosity and compassion. Barbara is kind and brilliant. Many of my parts wanted to sit at her feet and learn. She is offering two of her articles to The One Inside Listeners!!! Email her at barbaralholtzman@gmail.com and let her know you heard her on TOI. To find out more about Barbara and to receive her newsletters visit: https://barbaraholtzman.net/ To get help with your website and to receive $100 off of their services visit: https://www.brightervision.com/inside/ Enjoy!

Dr. Dan Pollets is successful man, just check out his website. He also was diagnosed with colorectal cancer 6 months ago and has been receiving chemotherapy and radiation. On todays episode, you will hear his powerful story. You will hear details that will make some of your parts uncomfortable. You will be a witness to his pain- physical, emotional, and social. You will learn about his 6 yo younger part who was abandoned, who is protected by driven, caretaking and workaholic parts. You will hear about his special relationship to Richard Schwartz. You will hear about the 'gifts of cancer' and the choices he makes to strengthen his 'post traumatic growth.' You will hear about his struggle around how to tell his patients and the incredible impact his Self had on his psychotherapy group. You will laugh because he is hilarious and he saves his best potty joke for the end. Dr. Dan is bravely "translating victimhood into an opportunity to share with others," as he writes in one of his essays you can receive if you email him. He is also working on an article for the Outlook, a magazine which spreads great info about IFS. (You can listen to a past podcast episode of THI with Michelle Glass, who is the editor.) Check out Outlook: Past issues of Outlook Dr. Dan's article, "When the Therapist Gets Cancer." Dr. Dan's website Email Dr. Dan at drdanpollets@gmail.com Enjoy!

Heidi and I chat like long time girlfriends about body image, self approval, and eating disorders. Heidi has developed an incredible idea (and book!) she calls 'reclaiming beauty' which says we have disconnected from our original beauty (Self). And, we can reconnect, coming back into our bodies when safety, compassion, and curiosity are present. Heidi defines self approval as allowing ourselves to have boundaries and space from what other people are reflecting... helping us know, and be and reflect our own authentic Self, our Original Beauty.  She blows my mind- which you can tell because I bring it back up a few times- with the idea that the part who obsesses about the body actually uses it as a distraction from an exile (a younger, vulnerable part). The body obsessed part can be a firefighter (what?!). We talk a lot about eating disorders- common beliefs of exiles and common protector strategies. We both share personal stories of being called 'Sensitive' and wonder what would be different if we/others/society valued this as a superpower, a gift to be treasured. Go right now and check out Heidi's website to get her book and the cards. I cannot speak highly enough of the cards- they are beautiful and can be used in many ways. Try using them as parts mapping or drawing one a day for inspiration and grounding. https://www.reclaimingbeauty.com/ If you want help with website or social media promotion check these guys out! https://www.brightervision.com/inside/ And, of course, follow me on Instagram at IFSTammy and on Facebook at the One Inside Podcast page where I allow my sarcastic, inspirational, and kid obsessed parts go wild. Enjoy!

I fangirl embarrassingly hard with Sacha Mardou, a brilliant comic who is using her gifts to show her own internal work in IFS. Plus, she has a lovely accent. She hopes comics will demystify IFS, and she publishes a new IFS comic every week on Instagram at MsMardou. She suggests pictures and words give the reader a more immersive experience which I found to be true when I read Sky in Stereo. She began drawing IFS comics as a way to process her own experience with her parts in therapy. Comics have helped her do 'parts work' and to "befriend the noise inside." She gives a few recommendations (writer secrets!) to help us be more creative and disciplined. She describes art as "time spent in flow... and flow feels like Self." Sacha's desire is to get IFS into the world. We are both in full agreement of that mission. To get her books "Sky In Stereo, volume one and two": https://www.amazon.com/Sky-Stereo-Sacha-Mardou/dp/1934460834/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=sky+in+stereo&qid=1573781174&sr=8-1 Follow her on Instagram and check out these comics! A brilliant way to show, teach, and begin to experience IFS. I think you may even discover some trailheads: https://ifscomics.com/ AND! To get a $100 off your own brand new website OR to check out all their available therapist resources: https://www.brightervision.com/inside/ Enjoy!  

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? The good news is here it is... my chat with Dick, the founder of IFS. Dick is personal and fun and funny. It is inspiring and enlightening. You will find out something new- about the beginnings of this model, about Dick's vision then and now, and about Dick himself. I write long outlines of each podcast during the editing process. Some things on the outline for this episode are: what is the significance of the name 'IFS,' what he says Yes to, what weighs on his heart, what he does for fun, what he is proud of, and what he struggles with. Of course, we cover aspects of the model: Self, parts, unburdening, polarity of parts, etc. But that is not what will stand out to you.  Now, the bad news. Dick shares what he is watching on TV. Sadly, it is not on Netflix, it is on HBO. A part of me says I need to add that to Amazon. Thanks a lot, Dick. You'll have to listen to this whole episode to find out the name of the show. AND! To get a $100 off your own brand new website OR to check out all their available therapist resources: https://www.brightervision.com/inside/ Enjoy!

Richard Schwartz, developer of the Internal Family Systems model leads a 5 minute meditation during our full hour long episode coming up next week. For you dear ones, I offer you this, an easily accessible meditation by Dick you can listen to over and over again. I cannot WAIT to share our entire conversation next week. Head over to Instagram (#ifstammy or #theoneinsidepodcast) or Facebook The One Inside Facebook page to see pictures of the silly faces we made together. Enjoy!  

On today's episode, author, speaker, and long time assistant trainer with the IFS Institute, Mona Barbera and I chat about how to win a fight. We get very real and very personal as we share our favorite ways to win fights in our marriages. Mona tells us ONE thing that is needed to win a fight and THREE practical, useful tools to improve any relationship. We also talk about having clarity, confidence and calmness in toxic, hard situations. Mona refers to these aspects of our Authentic Self as Lifesavers and Gamechangers for those who are suffering in difficult relationships. And, did I mention how personal we get? Also, my son comes in the room behind me holding an ax above his head... so you don't want to miss this one. To get a $100 off your own brand new website OR to check out all their available therapist resources: https://www.brightervision.com/inside/ To contact Mona: http://www.monabarbera.com/ To get Mona's book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1934787043?pf_rd_p=183f5289-9dc0-416f-942e-e8f213ef368b&pf_rd_r=HF0FB4FZFW4HTNA1B9XH Enjoy!

On this week's episode, David and I talk about this incredible externalization tool which helps call up Self and bring compassion to your whole system. This 'wheel' looks like a solar system with a 'sun' representing Self and colored 'planets' representing Parts. His motto 'Bond with Satisfaction at Every Moment' is threaded throughout the whole episode. He reads his children's book, 'The Big Bright Ball' and reminds us Self can always help out. Check out David's site here and sign up for his newsletter... I recommend you take a look before you listen. http://www.youniverse.net/index.html Enjoy!  

Hey from the IFS annual conference in Denver! On this short episode, I talk through my new IFS elevator speech. Enjoy.

On today's episode Julie and I chat about faith and her IFS journey. Julie states that IFS already has a spiritual component and IFS is compatible with Christianity. She explains how 100 percent of the population is made in God's image and has access to a Core Self. The burdens we pick up have marred that image; our mirror is now dirty with them. The IFS model helps to clean the mirror so we have more clarity, more access to the Holy Spirit and more abundant living. Julie walks through an example of inviting God into a painful scene and memory. She talks about praying for parts and praying from parts and gives several examples of both. She prayers for our inner tasker and states, "Our spiritual walk manifests in our everyday life." She states that Jesus had parts, he did not have burdens (interesting, right?!). No matter what your spiritual path is, research shows prayer is good for our nervous systems. Praying FROM a part and FOR a part are ways to give parts voice. "Every part deserves to have a voice- in the world and with God." Enjoy!   Check out Julie's site with a TON of helpful resources: https://www.juliehoneycutt.com/index.html Check out a short video clip of Julie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpKbG_yzcEw&feature=youtu.be

"Parts might be shortsighted from what Self can see." In part two of our conversation, Seth and I talk about leadership in work and the organizations we find ourselves. Many of us are leaders in all sorts of ways in the office, in schools, in factories, in shops, and in the home. Seth talks about the importance of having voice in organizations and the importance of relationship building and trust. We talk about curious leaders and shared vision, about how to be compassionate towards about our leaders' parts. Seth finds several parallels between parenting and workplace leadership, such as power and responsibility. And we talk a lot about the power, the freedom, the ease of Self leadership. Find more about Seth at his site: https://www.sethkopald.com/ Enjoy!

This is the perfect episode to lead us into the Fall season, into back to school schedules, and into daily routines. The similarities and parallels between parenting and workplace leadership are remarkable and Seth shows us how unblending from parts and expanding Self with connection, warmth, and curiosity impacts both spheres of life. Seth has extensive experience as a previous Head of School for an Independent Montessori school and a national consultant for Headstart. Oh, and he has a PhD in organizational management with a specialty in Leadership. He integrates this to help others live more at ease as an IFS practitioner. In this first episode, we talk about parenting. We have an in depth conversation about 'external constraints' and how we are experiencing the feelings and thoughts of a part when we are blended. Seth gives practical advice for helping our parts and helping our kids with their parts. Seth states, "In this routine is life... in the routine I can add in warmth to help connection." He also encourages parents to ask, "Am I creating shame or compassion?" If you want to stop yelling at your kid, listen in. Find out about Seth here: https://www.sethkopald.com/ Find the book Seth mentioned: https://www.alfiekohn.org/punished-rewards/ Find the tool Seth mentioned: http://www.youniverse.net/index.html Enjoy!  

Alison is a gifted teacher, writer and speaker, and we cover all the things. We talk about her book, "Boundaries for Your Soul." We talk about integrating spirituality and psychology. Alison gives a beautiful explanation of our protective system (managers, firefighters, and exiles). Alison states, "When we peel away parts, Self is." We talk about the enneagram (and how a part of me is having a hard time accepting my '3 ness'). The enneagram is like a personality test. Want to know more? See the links below. Finally, we talk about practical tools to unblend from parts and to allow Self to emerge. Enjoy!     The book: https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Your-Soul-Overwhelming-Thoughts/dp/1400201616/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=boundaries+for+the+soul&qid=1566496818&s=gateway&sr=8-2   The website: https://alisoncookphd.com/   The Enneagram: https://www.enneagramworldwide.com/the-enneagram/ https://www.theenneagramjourney.org/   The enneagram test (I like this one- It will take about 10-15 minutes): https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/dotest

On today's episode, Zsuzsi and I chat about how creative movement helps parts express themselves so we can get to know them better. Movement increases the Self to part relationship and gives us more access to Self energy. It enables us to witness parts stories and unburden parts pain. We talk about the similarities between DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and IFS. And the benefits of seeing behavioral analysis through parts language and the IFS lens. Zsuzsi guides us through several dances- IFS is an experiential model afterall so what kind of podcast would this be if we didn't ACTUALLY dance?! To see all the amazing things she is up to check her out here: https://zgero.com/  

On today's episode, Michelle and I conclude our chat about her book. Get it here....The BOOK! Michelle leads us through about a 10-minute parts meditation. Then we talk about the elements of a parts meditation, the benefits of a parts meditation, and choosing a part of the day. Michelle gives us an inside scoop on what is happening at The Foundation for Self Leadership. You can find out more here: https://foundationifs.org/ She is the editor of The Foundation's magazine, "The Outlook." I can't wait to get mine in the fall! To find out more about Michelle and all the amazing things she has coming up check her out: https://www.thelisten3r.net/ Enjoy!

On today's episode, Michelle states, 'Self can be default.' Can you imagine?! She offers us hope from the techniques in her book, "Daily Parts Meditation Practice: A Journey of Embodied Integration for Clients and Therapists." We focus on externalizing and naming parts. We talk about how meditating with our parts strengthens the Self to part relationship. Michelle shares in detail the process of parts timelines (a list of parts), parts mapping (showing parts relationships with one another), parts catalog cards (all the details of parts healing experience using the IFS process), and parts biographies (parts stories). This epi is FULL of helpful, practical information for those just starting to learn about their parts and those who have been doing this for awhile. The second part of our talk is focused on the Meditation itself! Enjoy! To find out more about Michelle check her out here: https://www.thelisten3r.net/

On today's episode, Cindy states, 'Moving the body quiets the mind.' She describes her internal Critic as a 'critic consultant who is just trying to help.' We discuss how to access Self with yoga, mindfulness, guided meditation, and, of course, unblending techniques. Cindy teaches a mudra, a hand pose that helps boost confidence. She is a certified IFS therapist who can be contacted on her psychology today profile page. Enjoy!

On today's episode, Celia and I talk about IFS and EMDR, and how Self can heal parts wounded by trauma and attachment injuries. She teaches and leads us through several 'concentration practices' using breathing and movement to still the body and connect the mind and heart. We talk about her retreats where participants experience healing sessions which are done in the midst of a safe community. Celia helps me connect with a part who is trying to get me to slow down by eating donuts. Enjoy!

On today's episode, Frank and I continue our conversation with a focus on Authentic Communication. Frank integrates experience with IFS, knowledge of attachment theory and insights from the book, "Crucial Conversations." He describes this process of saying out loud what is happening on the inside of us when we relate and converse with one another. This deepens our connection to each other and to Self. And we practice it throughout the show! To join one of Frank's Authentic Communication groups go to his website http://www.unlimited-lifecoach.com/ Enjoy!

On today's episode, Frank and I chat about his remarkable healing journey. And, we cover the basics of IFS- parts, managers, firefighters, and exiles. We talk about Self and Space, listening and checking inside. Enjoy! To connect with Frank go to: http://www.unlimited-lifecoach.com/   

On today's episode, Sue and I cover a variety of aspects of IFS including the idea that we are all multiple, we all have parts. Often these parts want different things. For example, a part of Sue wanted to say yes to the podcast, another part said maybe. And we talk about how speaking for parts brings calmness and peace. Enjoy!

On todays episode, Amie Marcotte and I chat about her journey as a Veteran and how her caretaking parts impact her life, externally and internally. We talk about the importance and impact of unblending, especially in a therapy session. She helps me with a parenting issue and helps me see how my fears around conflict affect parenting. And for those who are curious, Amie just got back from 'exploring the world' in Australia! If you want to contact Amie for IFS consultation you can email her at dirigocenter@gmail. Enjoy!    

In today's show I'm on Beth's Rogerson's podcast "The Therapy Spot." I go into lots of details about my podcast's graphic and share all kinds of personal stuff! You don't want to miss it :-) See her link below. I also spend a few minutes talking about the question that a lot of people new to the model ask, "How do I know when I'm in a part?" Enjoy! https://bethrogerson.com/new-beginnings-an-ifs-journey-with-tammy-sollenberger/      

In today's episode, Jim and I talk about addiction (his specialty!), faith, trauma, cancer and pain. Jim is open to consult with new IFS therapists, especially those interested in addiction. You can contact Jim at jim.abrams456@gmail.com. More information about IFS can be found at https://www.selfleadership.org/ Chill out with me on Instagram at IFSTammy where I mostly post picts of my kid. Join our community at https://www.facebook.com/The-One-Inside-An-Internal-Family-Systems-Podcast-2297021850509875/?__tn__=%2Cd%2CP-R&eid=ARBSt94GA8T-uBs_7Ya4kT-L6ZKxK5G7m2z-gwMtRN6HJgGlqMOoswVZQPy2uJoXIzUwpxaxCqTd8SBw   Enjoy!