Finding peace and security with finances is often challenging but it is especially so for single parents. During COVID-19, the stress is even greater. So, how do we find peace and security with our finances? It’s tempting to believe the solution is found in having more money, but more money doesn’t bring more peace. Rather, peace is found in the presence of God regardless of our financial situation. This can seem like a difficult truth especially when we are juggling so much when it comes to bills, reduced household income, and the complication of child support. But peace can be found during the chaos of single parenting. Whether we have a lot of money or are living on a tight budget, a mindset of abundance and trust in God as our ultimate Provider helps us move into peace with our finances. Three perspectives will help us find peace and security in Him. Check what we value Generosity Gratitude Check what we value First, we need to check what we value. In talking with people who have more money than they need or with those who need more than they have, we find that regardless, our peace is found when we keep money in its rightful place.  Whenever money takes the place of God, whether too much or too little by our standards, that’s when we lose our peace. It’s not bad to want something but it is important to identify how badly we want it. If our desires gain a higher place in our hearts than God, our priorities are out of whack. Mark 12:41-44 tells the story of a widow who comes to present her offering at the temple.  While many others put large amounts into the treasury, she puts in two coins, worth very little. Jesus calls his disciples and tells them, “Truly I tell you; this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything – all she had to live on”. God isn’t looking at the amount of money we have or do not have. He is looking at our hearts and our priorities. This widow knew where her treasure was. She was not afraid to give all she had. She demonstrated her security in God and not in her last two coins. When Jesus saw this,  He recognized her devotion to God and gave his full approval for her actions. Like this widow, we need to check our hearts and identify what we value. Money is never meant to be our master. We were never intended to value it above our relationship with God. Yes, we use money for the things we need but it cannot become a source of happiness, pride, or something we rely on to raise our kids according to godly principles. Money is intended to simply be a tool. Whether we have a lot of money or a little, money cannot bring peace or security. If we let money define our peace or security, our values are out of line with God’s intention. Especially as Americans, we have so much already. Money can bring temporary pleasure, but our finances cannot be our source of peace and security. We need to check where our values are. Do we trust God and His ability to provide or are we counting on a worldly supply? Philippians 4:19 says “My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory. We must regularly check our hearts and determine what we value most. CHECK OUT ALL THIE SHOW NOTES AT - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/10/06/money-finding-peace-and-security-in-our-finances/

34. REJECTION by Solo Parent Society

No need to fear! When we say ‘Dance Almost Naked’, of course, we are talking about the scripture from 2 Samuel 6, where David strips down to almost nothing and dances before the Lord.  As single parents, we can be preoccupied with getting everything right. Overthinking, analyzing, being self-critical and making sure we don’t let any balls drop can weigh us down and squelch out joy. God calls us his kids, and the one thing we know about kids is there is a sense of abandon, innocence, and wonder inherent in all kids. Somewhere along the way, we lose that sense. And when we have been wounded we start to lose that beautiful, carefree spirit that, like the kids on the mount, just ran to Jesus, seemingly unaware of the gravity of who they were running to. Or like a king, David, so filled with Joy that the ark of the covenant was being returned to Jerusalem that he 'loses it' - strips down, out of his royal robes and dances it says, ‘with all his might’.  So, as we think of self-care - what would it look like for us Solos to ‘lose it’ from time to time, let go of convention, embrace the joy of just being God’s kid? How good would that be for our hearts? Today we discuss what that might look like and some tips for moving in that direction.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com For more about Katie visit KatieHaseltine.com  Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Co-parenting can be so challenging - especially when the values and boundaries are not shared between the parents. Unfortunately, it is our kids that get the short end of the stick when our parenting dynamics are unhealthy. We discussed this with Tammy Daughtry, a marriage and family therapist, author, and founder of Co-parenting international. Tammy's basic co-parenting principles involve paying attention to: 1. The 'Handoff' This is how we manage the exchange of the child. (which will happen hundreds of times in a child's life) It can be volatile or even just a convenient time to discuss co-parenting business. Agree to never talk about co-parenting issues during the handoff. Children are always watching, and we want to make this exchange tell a story that things are ok; they don't have to be emotionally torn apart. To do this effectively we: Prepare our child for the exchange - Don't ever express frustration about the other parent when getting ready. Be the encourager about the opportunity to spend time with the other parent with positive reinforcement. Prepare ourselves - We must prepare ourselves emotionally to not let our emotions show and impede the exchange. Give them the emotional permission to go be with the other parent, either verbally or in body language. Do this by setting our emotions aside for the hour leading up to and during the exchange. Once we have handed off, have a sounding board that we can process all that we are feeling with. When our kids come back, again, set our negative emotions aside and just listen and encourage the exciting stories they have come back with. If there are negative stories, listen without piling our own feelings on. Our children have competing attachments. In a married family structure, loving mom (or Dad) doesn't have any negative influence on the other parent. In a divorced situation, a child can begin to feel guilty or ashamed for loving or missing the other parent, which can trigger the parent. We need to compartmentalize our emotions so that we do not put our kids in a situation where they begin to feel shame or guilt for their love for the other parent. 2. Managing the difference in 'cultures' between the two homes. ( This is assuming there is nothing that poses a threat to our kids emotional or physical well-being ) When we have a different approach to our ex, related in the way we raise our kids, look at it like our kids live in two countries. The dynamics and value systems may be different, and we have no control over either. We need to just focus on the 'country' we are leading. Stand strong with statements like - " I know that in their house things are done another way, in this house we _______" without diminishing the 'culture' of the other home. 3. Empower our kids to have a voice when they are being put in the middle. Let them know they are free to say to either parent, "I am not comfortable talking about that, I would rather you ask (other parent)" when they are put in a position of being asked questions about the other parent. 4. Be a role model on how we do hard things. There will be times when our child doesn't want to go to the other parents. Understand that the chances for a healthy child dramatically increases when both parents are in a child's life (assuming there is nothing dangerous), so invest in creating memories with both parents. Resources Co-parenting App - Appclose FREE resource - 10 things kids of divorce wish they could say to their parents. Coparentinginternational.com Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety

Single parents trying to create a stable home life when everything seems out of control can sometimes seep into over-protecting and overcompensating for our kids. Learning to balance our responsibility as parents and sheltering too much can be challenging. And as they grow older, the process of letting go of our day-to-day micro-oversight is even harder. Questions like “what if this happens? or what if that happens?” can begin to cripple us. Basically, fear can cause us to overcompensate with a desire to protect.  Helping our kids get their own confidence and become who they are supposed to be requires 'taking off the training' wheels sort of speak sometimes. Whether your kids are 2 or 22, the process of letting go and trusting God can be so hard.  This is perhaps the greatest paradox of parenting. On the one hand, parents are—and need to be—deeply attached to and invested in their children. On the other hand, a primary task of parenting is to prepare children to take responsibility for their own lives and let them go, so they become who God created THEM to be. On this episode Robert Beeson, Kimberley Mitchell and Elizabeth Cole explore ways to avoid overprotecting and let go of what is needed to prepare our kids as they grow older.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We all want the new year to feel like a new page, a new chapter. Like we’re making progress and moving forward. But for some of us, the new year can feel discouraging because it’s hard to believe that things will be different this year. We can feel like we’re on a hamster wheel of progress. One step forward, two steps back, and it gets exhausting. Our experience day and day out, year and year out, seems to stay the same. But it turns out there are things that we can do to change our experience, and it has everything to do with vision, specifically our perspective. On today's podcast, we discuss tips to do that. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Many of us struggle with our sense of self-worth. We all want our kids to grow up with confidence and a sense of Worth that perhaps we don’t even currently have. We know that you can't give what you don't have. So as we work on our own sense of worth - are there things we can do to help our kids discover their sense of worth? Chip Dodd, a regular contributor to SPS, bestselling author of books like “ Voice of the heart,” and counselor talks helping our kids uncover their own sense of Worth, even when we feel like we don’t have a good handle on it ourselves.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Money is a constant struggle in the Solo Parent family and affects so many points in our lives. Elizabeth Cole, an executive at Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, shares 3 tactics that can help you take control of your finances. FREE RESOURCES - Path to Financial Peace - the Seven Baby Steps explained: https://www.daveramsey.com/baby-steps/?snid=start.steps EveryDollar - Free Budgeting Tool: www.everydollar.com How to get out of debt - the debt snowball explained: https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/get-out-of-debt-with-the-debt-snowball-plan?snid=start.debt-b Encouragement from Rachel Cruze on her show, The Rachel Cruze Show: https://www.rachelcruze.com/show (this is a podcast and YouTube show)

If you are a single parent, there is no way you haven’t been hurt by someone or something. Whether it be betrayal, abandonment, maybe even God allowing a spouse to die, we have all been wounded in some way. We have good reason to be angry for what we have been through. Often, the idea of forgiveness isn’t something we even want to do. We know God tells us we should. We have heard it is the right thing to do. But no one can just flip a switch and act like nothing bad ever happened or was done. If you have struggled with forgiveness, we have found six steps to be helpful in working toward forgiving those who have hurt you.   Ephesians 3:17-20 says, “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”  First, let's define forgiveness. Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they deserve your forgiveness. Equally important is what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is NOT saying: -You were not hurt by what the other person did. -Your pain is gone. -Life can now pick up where you left off or feel the way you did before, as if what happened never happened. -You no longer believe the other person was responsible for causing harm. -You excuse the other person’s behavior. -You no longer view what happened as important. -You share the blame for what happened. -You can ever forget what happened. Entering into forgiveness does not mean any of those things. Forgiveness does not deny hurt or pain. It does not excuse what happened or make you forget. It also doesn’t mean you are responsible in any way, nor does it mean you need to reconnect or stay connected to someone you need to forgive. Rather, forgiveness is a step that brings you greater freedom as you discover the grace to let go of the need to exact justice or vengeance, or to carry the weight of anger and pain any longer. Forgiveness allows us to take back our freedom and ability to move forward, lighter and with less pain.  Our Benefit There are many benefits to forgiveness. A John Hopkins study concluded the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress.  Forgiveness also benefits our kids.  They are watching - every action, every word you speak, every facial expression, every action is being seen by your children, who will eventually emulate millions of things you and your ex do. For their sake, we need to intentionally move toward healing. We need to take steps toward forgiveness. We need to be free of our anger and bitterness so we can leave a legacy of grace for them.  God’s Command  A significant reason for moving toward forgiveness is because God commands us to do it for our good. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Whenever God commands us to do something, it is always with our best interests at heart. His perfect sovereignty and knowledge of what we need to thrive as humans is rooted in His deep love for each one of us. If He calls us to do something, we can be confident He wants what is best for us and knows better than we do why it is important. And He doesn’t leave us alone to walk it out. It is His Spirit that empowers us to take each necessary step toward forgiving those who have hurt us. It won’t be by “might or power” that we are able to forgive but “by His spirit”, a foundational truth to stand on as we consider the steps...

Why do we have to suffer if God can fix it?  If God is all-powerful, why does He allow me and my kids to experience all this hurt? Why doesn't He step in?  It’s a natural thing to be angry with God. To be clear, God is not dependent on us forgiving him, but we know that he wants an authentic relationship with us, so he embraces our hurt, disappointment, and questions… even about Himself. So what do we do with these questions? What do we do with anger towards God? Our guest is Rick Cua; he was a well-known Christian recording artist, songwriter, ordained minister, and author. Unfortunately, four short months before recording this episode, Rick tragically found his daughter dead. In this episode, we explore how to reconcile what God allows to tragically happen in our lives. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Get Rick’s latest book here Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

In our darkest / hardest seasons(valley) we can find purpose and hope. Today Robert discusses 2 facts that will help us discover the value of the 'valleys' we face.

Redefining family after divorce, loss, or transition is challenging, not only because of hurts experienced but because there’s no exact road map for every situation. Family dynamics are complex, no matter how we became single parents, whether through death, divorce, unplanned pregnancy or anything else. Relationships without former extended family, our ex-in-laws, becomes an even more complicated road. One thing we need to keep in mind as single parents is that although we have lost spouses and relationships, our children never do. Those extended family members will always be part of their (and our) lives. Navigating these relationships is tricky and internally conflicting. Depending on where we are in these relationships, the process of moving on to a new normal as single parents is complex. Redefining family community looks different for all of us because our experiences are different. Some single parents are grieving a change in family community. Some are rebuilding a family community. Some are relieved to have a change in family community. Three single parents share their experiences with these different dynamics. FOR THE COMPLETE SHOW NOTES CLICK HERE - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/07/07/redefining-family-community/

Single parents, our lives have been ripped apart… just fragments of the way we used to be. We can tend to feel completely broken and empty. The idea of feeling whole again can seem so far out of reach. How can we move towards finding wholeness when all we see are the scraps of what used to be. Often, we don't even know how we feel other than defeated and broken. Today we talk about how to feel whole again with our expert guest. For over 30 years, Dr. Chip Dodd has poured his heart, experience, and education into serving others. He is a counselor, mentor, speaker, and author of bestselling books. One of which comes up regularly in our Solo Parent Society groups called the 'voice of the heart', which invites us to know our hearts to better know ourselves and live fully in relationships with others and ultimately God. Chip explains that, in his view, Solo Parent Society is just a name for, what do you do when dreams get broken? What do you do when your heart gets pierced? It's about recovery of heart, inviting people to return to their dreams, and in spite of what's happened, to allow your experiences to become part of your empowerment or victory story. So wholeness is about the recovery of heart, either in ways you never had or ways that you returned to renew. So wholeness really means sanity. Sanity is your head and your heart connected and your ability to tolerate vulnerability and trust that God is with you. That's wholeness. I can use my head to ask myself, what are you feeling? How are you? And then, and I can take that language, and I can present myself in vulnerability to another human being who gets it and then trust that God is in the midst of this. So wholeness comes as we develop the ability to stay present in the struggle and focus on five things that build a sense of wholeness, remembering that pain doesn’t stop, in other words, wholeness isn't perfection. For the complete show notes click - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/04/25/how-to-feel-whole-again

Trust is hard when you’ve felt betrayed and left alone. We wonder if we will ever be able to trust again. Trust can exist but there is a risk. This topic of rebuilding trust after hurt and destroyed relationships is one we hear often in our Solo Parent groups. So, how do we build trust again?  Single mom, Elizabeth, joins Robert and Kimberley to discuss rebuilding trust. As single parents, many of us have felt a breach of trust at some point or another. Our spouse’s affair, marital abandonment, and the fact that God would allow something bad to happen is difficult to process. This kind of hurt is one of the primary wounds we carry. The topic trust can be dark, heavy, hard, and scary. When we’ve experienced abandonment, not necessarily through divorce or loss but even early on in our childhoods, deep wounding and hurts occur. We carry those hurts with us into our relationships and then, when things fall apart, the pain and damage is even greater. We find ourselves asking again, “Who can I trust?” That question resonates and reverberates into every area of our lives.  As a missionary kid, Robert grew up going to boarding school. He didn’t have his family around him and he felt very abandoned. That wound was an early set up for later issues with fear of abandonment and difficulty with trust. When things come up like divorce or death, it triggers wounds like this from our past in a domino effect.  The core issue with building trust again is understanding how our past experiences have shaped us. The first step is getting connected to our own heart, understanding our wounds, and breaking down our abandonment issues. When we have people in our lives who were supposed to protect us, accept, and love us unconditionally, and they don’t, that has a profound impact on us. To build trust again, we need to understand what led us to that place of fear and learn what safe relationships are supposed to look like.  We need to consider the impact of our trust issues. How does our lack of trust play out in our relationships? For complete show notes click - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/05/09/how-to-build-trust. For more about Solo Parent Society - https://bit.ly/SPSZoomWelcome

Our children face daily challenges, from friendships to interactions with teachers, coaches and potentially strained family relations. They need us to help them understand, experience, and model courage. However, showing courage can be scary. We often admire courage in others but struggle to find it within ourselves. How can we guide our kids in learning courage when we sometimes feel we lack it? In this episode, we discuss three key areas: The first step is to model courage for our kids. Understanding why showing courage can be intimidating. Practical ways to demonstrate courage for your children's benefit. Join us as we navigate these questions, aiming to help our children - and ourselves - grow in courage and resilience. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Forget 'thinking positive' - this principle is far bigger, deeper and reliable than that and will shape what you experience in life. With host Robert Beeson.

As a single parent, sometimes we can feel like there's a wall between us and God because we believe we've failed and are a disappointment, so we see ourselves as unworthy. For some of us that have lost our spouse to death we may feel angry for God letting this happen. These things can lead to comparing ourselves to other people that seem to have it all together spiritually or otherwise. Here is the good news, knowing God's love can actually be more intimate during this solo season than in any other season, and it is the basis for everything we try to be about at Solo Parent Society. Here are the 3 areas of focus that we employ at SPS that help us encounter God's love. Confession Confession is expressing the good and bad - The doubts and praise. Ultimately it is about expressing with our mouths (or writing it down) our completely transparent and honest feelings. A few questions that might be helpful: How do you feel when you think about coming into God's presence? What do you think he may be disappointed in? Proud of? If you were to name a feeling that my be creating a wall what would that feeling be? The goal is to authentically be known in our most intimate state by God and at least one person and/ or a journal. Absolutes This is where we search out truth about what we have confessed. This could be as simple as a google search - "What does the bible say about anger/shame/doubt/ fear?" This step must take place AFTER we have transparently confessed what might be causing a wall between us and God. Whatever the wall is search scriptures about what God says about that. Study what God promises to take care of and find evidence of His faithfulness in our lives. Write those promises down and post them on the wall - Example Isaiah 54:4-5. Acceptance Taking what we have uncovered in our heart - Confession - and what we discover in our head - Absolutes - now we need to incorporate into a life style. One way is a remembering exercise. Step 1. Remember Practice remembrance by taking the time to list all of the ways God has worked in your life. Here are some helpful categories to write out some experiences: Childhood Teen years (middle and high school) Early adulthood (18-25 years old) Adulthood (25+ age) Other areas like in motherhood/fatherhood, marriage, etc. Step 2. Recognition Practice recognizing all the small ways God works in your life every day. This is a daily practice of gratitude. For example, each day write down three things for which you are grateful. Try to not repeat yourself. Write down new things or new ways to express gratitude even about a recurring blessing. You will likely have to get creative, which can cause you to be more aware of where and how God is at work in your life. Step 3. Repetition Continually repeat these practices. This isn't a one-and-done. Go back to your lists and add to them. Ask God to reveal the ways He is at work around you so you don't miss anything. Our busy lives can often distract us from what is most important. The old adage "Count your blessings" may seem trite or cheesy, but in the Solo season, this attitude can be strategic in your growth and healing. God's Love is personal and intimate. The obstacles or disappointments we believe create a wall between us and God are often the very things that create an opportunity to discover a more intimate relationship with Him. God doesn't love me for what I do for Him, He just loves me, even when I do nothing at all... that is wild, wild stuff! Join our community Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety 

Single parents often face financial insecurity. Finding a place of stability takes time, especially after divorce or other unforeseen circumstances. In today's podcast, Robert Beeson and Kimberley Mitchell talk about ways solo parents can find financial stability. For solo parents around the country, finances are a huge stressor. Paying the rent and bills is a struggle complicated by child support or the lack of it. Sometimes we rob Peter to pay Paul and the unknowns can be terrifying. Our security isn't found in money, but money issues can cause us to feel insecure. Ultimately, God is our Provider but being wise about money is essential. So how can we, as solo parents, move toward greater financial stability? There are three ways. 1. Budgeting: You can't spend what you don't have. The principles from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University are a terrific framework for greater financial health. Creating a zero-based budget is the first step. A zero-based budget means you only spend what you earn so start by calculating your total income each month. Then, write down everything you spend money on. This is eye-opening and can help you find hidden areas of expense. Putting it down in black and white is an empowering exercise. Knowing what you earn and what you spend gives you a sense of control. Budgeting doesn't limit what you spend; it tells you what you can spend! Spending more than you earn isn't freedom. It's bondage. Getting into debt is a trap. Having a clear written budget gives you freedom because you can move ahead and spend with confidence. 2. Create an Emergency Fund: For solo parents, building an emergency fund is crucial because unforeseen expenses can be especially devastating for those on limited incomes. Saving money for emergencies can seem overwhelming when you are barely making enough to cover macaroni and cheese and gasoline, but it's a key to financial health. If you don't have a fund to lean on, you will find yourself using a credit card. So how can we create an emergency fund? One tip is to look for things you have around your home that you can sell on eBay, Buy Sell Trade, or at a yard sale. Get creative because this step is so important! 3. Accountability: It can be scary to disclose your budget to another person, but it's important to find someone to share this with. While difficult, it's important to know that you are not doing this alone. It's helpful to have another person you share honestly with about what you choose to spend on. Making responsible choices is important for our financial stability, but it's also important because we are teaching our kids how to handle money too. Finally, part of honoring God is honoring him with our finances. As we are faithful with our budget, being generous is also important. It reveals trust in God and His provision. While these principles aren't easy to apply, especially on a limited and sometimes inconsistent income, they are valuable. Even if you need to take baby steps, move toward these principles, one step at a time. God is our Provider and our source of security, but, over time, these steps will lead to greater stability for you and your kids. The effort and commitment are worth it. For more financial health resources, check out Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. To connect with other solo parents, find us on Facebook, Instagram, and at www.soloparentsociety.com.

Stability is often equated with predictability and a sense of control. Many of us single parents have neither. We struggle to find a sense of stability by correcting what seem to be deficits. We can feel lost when things are out of our control and then more defeated as we continue on in the struggle. But what if you can actually experience stability in something that is not tangible or physical? What if finding stability is less about assurance and more about possibility and contribution? Today we discover how finding something to believe in - to move towards - what we want our lives to be about creates a sense of stability. Because stability is not all about comfort, we can find purpose, bringing stability amid the transforming struggle. Just like working out, the resistance is building real strength. You are stronger and more stable than you think!  Click for the detailed show notes, tips and links. Click to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional. Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

We hear from many Solo parents that they have come out of toxic, emotionally and physically abusive relationships. Unfortunately, it seems to be a rampant story in our community. Narcissism and overly controlling partners are a widespread issue that arises. Being that we are parents, albeit divorced, we still have to deal with the same people that were so toxic, and we will have to continue dealing with them for the rest of our kids' lives. So how do we heal from abusive relationships and navigate maintaining healthy boundaries with those overly controlling people in our lives?  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Worth: Uncovering Our Identity Single parents have often walked a challenging path experiencing hurts and obstacles along the way. These difficulties can shake their sense of worth leaving them feeling empty and unsure of who they are. Regaining a sense of worth is found in recovering our sense of value, uncovering our identity, and realizing our purpose.  Each component builds on the other. The first one, our value, is unchangeable and intrinsic. God determines our value which is foundational to our sense of worth. The second component is our identity. Our identity is made up of characteristics that distinguish us from one another. It’s our individual stories that set us apart. Finally, our worth helps inform our purpose. We were created intentionally by God to fulfill good works planned for us. When we have a solid understanding of our value, identity, and purpose, we can walk with confidence in our worth, knowing we were created by God, on purpose for a purpose.  One of the components needed for a healthy sense of worth is uncovering our identity. We can gain valuable knowledge of who we are through four facets: 1) our history, 2) the setbacks we’ve experienced, 3) our unique strengths, and 4) our individual passion.  History  First, our history starts with our family of origin. Part of understanding our identity lies in understanding how we grew up and how it impacted us. Whether raised in a big family or as an only child, whether under ideal circumstances or difficult ones, our upbringing has shaped and molded us into who we are today. Understanding our history helps us understand our identity today. The story of Joseph illustrates how our family of origin can shape us. Joseph was a favored son and his brothers became jealous as a result. His childhood experiences of having dreams and being able to interpret them are a big part of his family history. Your family history matters too.  Setbacks  Another facet of our identity are the setbacks we’ve faced. Each one of us has experienced different hardships and difficulties that inform our identity and sense of who we are. Joseph was betrayed and sold into slavery by his brothers. He was accused of something he didn’t do and was thrown into prison. These hardships impacted his identity just like we are impacted by our own. Adversities like divorce, abuse, illness, or betrayal change our life trajectory and the way we see ourselves. Some alter our identity while others reinforce it or cause us to reinvent part of who we are.  Strengths  Like our history and setbacks, our strengths are another facet of identity. Our unique talents and strengths help us understand who we were created to be. Some of our experiences develop these strengths and others reveal ones we didn’t even know were there. Each strength informs part of our identity. Taking inventory of our strengths is an important part of recognizing our worth. One of Joseph’s strengths was charisma. He first found favor with his father and later with those he encountered while he was a slave and in prison. Joseph also knew how to interpret dreams. This gift from God gave him an advantage and set him up to gain stature in Egypt. Knowing our strengths is a key facet to knowing our identity.  Passion  Passion is the final facet in discovering our identity. We can find our passion by looking at the things we are drawn to, like nurturing kids, being creative, or starting a business. When we take the time to understand our individual passions, we gain a greater understanding of our identity too. Sometimes the turmoil we have faced as a single parent can rob us of some of our passion, but these same adversities can also fuel it.  Taking time to recognize our passions is...

“With COVID, job security, and finances I just wonder how everything is going to work in the future. I know that God’s got this, but I just can't help but worry.”  These are the words of a single dad. Have you been there? Are you there now? When you have so much going on as a single parent, life can seem like a journey to survive instead of to thrive. How can single parents have hope for the future in midst of their daily grind and the concerns we face raising kids alone? Worry is something we all experience at one time or another, sometimes regularly. The future can be scary, and that fear is compounded because we are doing it alone. Add in the pandemic and current events, and it can be overwhelming. But there are ways to deal with worry even when our anxiety peaks. How do we find the peace God promises us that passes all understanding while wondering if we can pay the bills this month and managing all the tasks on our to-do lists?  For the complete show notes and links click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/06/01/how-to-have-peace-for-our-future/ ?

When you hear the word 'budgeting' does you mind automatically go to the feelings of restriction and giving up Starbucks? There is a different way to look at it - it is studying your financial story and then taking charge of it. No matter how much money we have, rather than letting marketers sway us, it is important for us to be in control of our dollars. Today hosts Robert Beeson and Marissa Lee discuss the Power of Budgeting.

Let’s face it, every one of us… And we mean every. single. one. of us struggles with overreacting. Not everybody sees it and often our kids get the short end of the stick with our overreaction. We can fly off the handle with family members, driving, work, this list is extensive. So many of us walk around with our fingers on the trigger of overreaction, and the smallest things cause us to react contrary to what we know is right… or even what we have planned. And frankly, with so much of the burden on us… raising our kids, and keeping our family safe and marginally happy, it’s no wonder that our emotions are close to the surface. The double whammy of this is it once we do overreact, we feel awful and guilty, and that turns into shame and can create its own spiral, which prompts even more overreaction from time to time.  So as we start this new year and we look for things that we can do differently. How do we address our overreactions and move into a more balanced and stable response to the things happening around us? For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

After becoming a single parent, you can feel stuck.  It is difficult to stand back up and have the courage to move forward. Fear can hold us back from taking risks and acting on what we know is beneficial or necessary. Sometimes we tell ourselves a negative story about how things will go and that keeps us from moving ahead. Things like having important conversations with our kids, setting boundaries with an ex-spouse or former in-laws can seem bigger when we are walking alone or don’t have a strong support system. Sometimes, feelings of being beat down or less than can keep us from doing things we should.  We all need to learn how to face our fear and confront the obstacles to taking action. Our Solo Parent team researched and discussed how to do this and identified three steps to finding courage to take action. These steps are:  Reframing Planning and preparing Doing it scared To read all the detailed show notes with links click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/08/04/how-to-have-courage-to-take-action/

As single parents were juggling a lot of balls in the air at the same time… Inevitably, we drop one or two. Most of the time, the proverbial ball we drop is the one with ‘me’ written on it. We put ourselves last; we don’t value ourselves enough. We tend to feel selfish in making ourselves a priority when we have so many responsibilities. So how do we move ourselves up the totem pole, so to speak? I think we all know that unless we care well for ourselves, we can’t care well for other people. So what can we do to nurture ourselves without adding more stress and ‘to dos’ to our already full list of responsibilities? Our guest, Whitney English, is the author of a new book called “A More Beautiful Life: A Simple Five-Step Approach to Living Balanced Goals with HEART”. Her work has been featured in O magazine, The Wall Street Journal and on the Today show. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Some of us think that self love is only self serving. An incorrect belief that in order to parent well, our kid’s needs come before our needs, and often we over compensate. The problem is, we can’t give what we don’t have. Often we spend so much time focusing on other people we don’t spend enough time loving and caring for ourselves. Self Love if often viewed as a reward or a special treat we give to ourselves... but it goes far beyond that. Love is an activity not a quality. Loving yourself requires more than just a mindset, it requires action. 3 keys to practicing self love can be broken into the following steps. 1. Mindset Reset We have to start resetting how we view self love. Understanding that loving ourselves well brings value to how we love our kids. Self love = loving our kids It requires committing to making this a priority Give grace, not putting so much pressure on ourselves - be patient - a mind reset wont happen overnight TRY THIS - Right notes on bathroom mirror - reminding of who we are / our identity - Psalm 139 - Verbalize - say it out loud - say it till you believe - examples “I am worth taking care of, I am not my mistakes, I am not my past, I will live into my best days still ahead of me, God chose me to parent these kids - He will equip me.” - Write down an inventory of what we have accomplished by ourselves Above all - Give grace - metamorphosis takes time 2. Boundaries Often we overcompensate for the hurt our kids have been through and let our boundaries down. Focus on establishing simple boundaries that provide margin to our lives. With our kids - Don’t take every phone call - let them know every question they may have is important - but there is a difference between important vs immediate - Have them start to discern if the question they have is urgent and requires an immediate answer or if maybe they could text vs phone call or even write things down to bring up later. Create Space - be deliberate in carving out alone time. Let them know that everyone has a need for space and teach / model what that looks like next time you are asked “can I sleep in your bed”. With our Ex / Family / Friends Get out of volatile conversations. Ask for schedule changes etc. to be put in writing. Express appreciation to our ex or family members for wrestling with trying to do the right thing. Deescalate. Don’t say yes to every opportunity. Protect your time and remember saying ‘yes’ to something means saying ‘no’ to something else. Prioritize time with ‘life giving’ relationships 3. Fill your cup Do things that bring you joy Cooking, Gardening, Painting, Reading Try something new - allow yourself to pursue something exciting. Don't be afraid to ask for help create space - trade time with other single parents. Do things that you can complete, even as simple as making the bed. Remember: Self love is not selfish. If we don’t do it for us, do it for our kids because we cant give what we don’t have. When I enrich my own life, I’ll be life-giving to others too. Join us on Facebook - Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety - You are not alone! 

 The holidays can be very difficult for single parents. The one thing we can count on is change, like changes in tradition and changes is time with our kids. What we once knew is often now very different. Gd promises He will turn all things to good and that He is doing a new thing in our lives, but the idea of newness and change can still make us uneasy. Our dreams that have been shattered leave us picking up the pieces while walking into a new frontier. We don’t know how things are going to turn out especially after facing the unexpected already. How do you embrace the new and encounter God in newness? 1. Identify past dreams and past realities - Be authentic and take inventory of what you have lost and how you are feeling. Take time to grieve specific losses. If you move on too quickly, you can stay stuck and carry the pain with you. As you embrace God in newness, acknowledge your dreams but also acknowledge your realities. Sometimes loss can make us look at the past through rose colored glasses and remember things more utopian than they were making it harder for us to move on. 2. Pray about what could be. Become willing to dream again. Confess to God if you are afraid of dreaming again. Ask Him to help you dream about a new future, new possibilities, and a new you. Change is hard but staying the same can be even worse. Ask God to be with you in the new so you don’t miss the opportunities planned for you in the now. 3. Accept that new is the new normal. Start to live in a state of anticipation. Began to believe that what is coming is better than what you left behind. New can be scary but it is also full of possibility. Newness can be scary for anyone. As a single parent, Marissa, shares that when she first became a solo parent after her husband died, she longed for an unbroken world where all things were made new and better. What she realized though is that brokenness in the world doesn’t change but we can be made new despite that. Past experiences and losses, while hard, can serve to change us, to make us new and different. Like Paul, we can learn to embrace any circumstance provided God is with us. But embracing change is hard because what comes next may not be what we want. There is uncertainty in “new”. Old feels safe and reassuring because even if it wasn’t best, we still knew what to expect, and in many ways that feels comfortable. To embrace the new, we must first identify our past dreams and past realities. We must take time to accept that what we once had or hoped for is no longer possible. The ideals and dreams of where our life was going must be examined. We have to face the reality of what is happening now. We all want happy kids, effortless parenting, a perfect home. We often look at our lives through a Hallmark filter that isn’t realistic. It represents hopes and dreams but not our real-life experiences. Before we embrace the new, we have to realize that some of our ideals were not congruent with our actual lives. Looking back is important because we can’t grieve something until we identify it. It’s impossible to move into the new without letting go of those ideals and realities. It’s helpful to see that our lives weren’t perfect in the past anymore than they will be now or in the future. Accepting and acknowledging this helps us grieve and then let go. Maybe the newness this year means you can’t provide as many presents for your kids as you want to or maybe your house doesn’t have Christmas lights outside. But, instead of presents, remember that your kids want your PRESENCE. Instead of Christmas lights, your kids want to see light in your eyes when you look at them. Embracing the new can bring up grief but it can also help us realign our priorities. As we do this, we may experience transitional hurt. We feel the excitement or joy of what is ahead...

Every week, we hear about the challenges related to financial stability with our single parents. Some single parents have never handled the finances of their homes, and now all of a sudden, they’re responsible for budgeting and providing the funds they need to make things meet. Other single parents are now saddled with incredible child support, alimony payments, and any financial stability that they once had being split in two. On the other side of that, expecting child support and alimony that never shows up creates enormous stress. Building financially again, either for the first time on your own, if you’ve never been responsible for the finances before, or rebuilding from scratch after losing virtually everything, can feel overwhelming and daunting. We know there are many self-help books on establishing wealth and creating a healthy asset portfolio, but we are just trying to make ends meet for so many of us, and we don’t have the luxury of thinking much beyond the month, week, or weekday at hand. So how do we start moving towards the sense of having that financial stability and predictability?  Today we are grateful to have Ron Rauch with us, who is not only a financial expert and CPA but also a man who has dedicated this season of his life to helping those starting to build again.  Click for the detailed show notes, tips and links. Click to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

In this episode, we're delving deep into the journey of reconciling with our Inner Child. Our past experiences, especially the painful ones, don't just fade away. Instead, they can continue to affect us, seeping into our present lives, if we don't seek healing. No one desires to persist in a cycle of toxic and hurtful patterns. So, how can making peace with our Inner Child lead us toward a healthier and more fulfilling present? In our discussion today, we'll unpack three essential aspects:Understanding the concept of the Inner Child,Examining how our Inner Child impacts our present lives and behavior,Discussing effective strategies for reconciling with and healing our Inner Child.By delving into these aspects, we hope to equip you with valuable insights that can help transform your relationship with your past, and, consequently, enrich your present life.For a free ’10 Steps for Inner Child Work’ PDF click here - https://bit.ly/3PltqJoFor all the detailed show notes, tips, and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Christy Wright is a personal development expert, NY TIMES best-selling author, speaker to Fortune 500 companies, and she is also the child of a single mom. Christy shares that being raised by a single parent has shaped her in profound ways. Christy has seen that many single parents live with an undercurrent of guilt. When one parent carries the responsibility for the care of their child, they often feel the need to compensate for any potential harm or hardship because the other parent is less available or absent. This guilt is common, but Christy says she is who she is because she was raised by a single parent, not in spite of it, but because of it. She attributes all her success to being raised by a single parent.  Often, single parents don’t realize the resilience, strength, and fortitude that their kids are learning as they watch them push through the struggles of parenting alone. Studies show that facing challenges in childhood teaches kids how to overcome obstacles later in life. When kids are insulated and raised in a bubble, they don’t learn the same lessons. So, single parents, take heart, your kids are gaining valuable skills as they watch you! The most common question she gets as a coach is “how do you balance it all?”. She tackles this question in her newest book, “Take Back Your Time”. Christy shares that many people think the solution to being balanced is to do more, be more productive, to work more, to work harder, to do it all better and be more efficient. We try that and end up exhausted, not more balanced.  Christy realized we are asking the wrong question. What if balance is not something we do but rather is something we create? How do we find balance in an out of balance world? What if balance is being at peace, being confident in your choices, being proud of how you spend your time? Balance is not about super-productivity. Christy says balance isn’t doing everything for an equal amount of time. It’s about doing the right things at the right time, and you get to decide what those things are. When you do that, you start to feel balanced, but it’s not because you did everything. It’s because you determined what was right for you and you did those things. That’s a very different result and it’s a different path to get there.  Christy uses the question, “What is right right now?” in her own life to find balance and to shake the guilt of not doing more. What is right is honoring the priorities and needs of the season she is in and focusing only on the things that are most important right now.  As single parents focusing on self-care, Christy says we have to redefine what life balance is and what it looks like. The steps to do this are: Decide what matters  Stop doing what doesn’t matter Create a calendar that reflects what matters Protect what matters – set boundaries and say no Be present for what matters – show up for the important things Today, we discuss what this looks like and some tips for moving in that direction.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Follow Christy on Instagram: @christybwright Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Church was God’s idea for the wellbeing of his kids. It is a vital and important component in our spiritual lives. Unfortunately, though, sometimes some of us get hurt by people in the church or those in ministry. Much of the time, these hurts were unintended. Regardless, it is important for us to experience the freedom of forgiveness related to things that happen even from those in ministry.  Jake Smith, Jr., founder of Plumline, an organization focused on wholeness and growing healthy relationships joined the podcast to talk further about this very topic. As a former pastor and church planter he helped build thriving ministries but like many of us, he too has experienced his share of hurt and the journey of forgiveness as a result.  As someone who has been both a church member and a church leader, Jake has a perspective from both positions. Jake shares that hurt is the feeling when we have been harmed emotionally, spiritually, mentally, or physically. Harm results in feeling hurt. Another feeling follows us afterward – fear. We feel at risk of being harmed again in one or more of those ways. Whether the risk is legitimate or not, fear becomes part of our experience after we’ve been hurt.  Forgiveness is needed after we’ve been harmed. Jake grew up in the church and served as a pastor for twenty-one years. Not only has he been hurt and harmed within the church, but Jake admits that he has also been the one who has caused hurt and harm, not intentionally, but in his own imperfection and woundedness. We discuss the following facets of Forgiving People In The Church- What does forgiveness look like and why is it important?  How do we forgive a church that hasn’t been attentive?  How do we find our way forward when church doesn’t feel comfortable or safe?  What about when we feel judged by the church?  How can we forgive people in the church? As single parents, how can we safely process our hurts without it negatively impacting our kids? For the full show notes, tips and links click visit https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/09/13/forgiving-people-in-the-church-jake-smith-jr LEARN MORE ABOUT JAKE SMITH AND PLUMLINE - https://goplumline.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

One of the questions we get most often is, how will I know when I’m ready to date again? We’ve heard advice on both ends of the spectrum–on one end, friends tell us just to get out there, and on the other end, we need to follow the formula of waiting one year for every year we were married before dating again. Added to how we feel about dating is how our kids feel about us dating, which complicates everything even more. So what do we do—when are we ready?  Today we’re going to cover three main points:  The best question to ask yourself before you start dating again  What relationships can and cannot do Talking to our kids about when we’re ready to date again. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

This month, we're diving deep into the realm of relationships from multiple angles. Today, in part 2 of our series on ‘Relationship Killers’, we’re focusing on an often-overlooked aspect that can harm our relationships with others: our relationship with media. We're delighted to welcome Jenny Black to our discussion. Jenny, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is not only an author but also the founder of Media Trauma Care. With her co-authored book "Our Digital Soul: Collective Anxiety, Media Trauma, and a Path Toward Recovery," Jenny provides critical insights into how the digital landscape affects our collective psyche. In our modern world, we have unprecedented access to a plethora of media forms, including smartphones and social media. While these technological advances offer many benefits, they can also be detrimental. In this episode, we'll delve into how our relationship with media can potentially sabotage our interpersonal relationships. The crux of our conversation will be exploring strategies to foster healthier media habits. By doing so, we aim to improve our relationships with the people who matter most in our lives. Tune in for an enlightening discussion that bridges the gap between our digital and personal worlds. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog More on Jenny at jennywiseblack.com —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

We all have those moments of feeling the utter chaos of Solo Parenting. Juggling all that we have to do: the needs of our kids, the demands of our work, the pressures of solo parenting... it seems there are more issues and responsibilities than there is us. Today, the founder of ReRoute, Leeann Courvoisier shares her story and how she counsels other Solo Parents though the chaos of parenting alone. Find out more about Leeann's work with solo parents at ReRoute.net,

In this episode, we will gain valuable insights into how to avoid parental alienation. We go beyond the conventional textbook definition of Parental Alienation often thrown around in legal proceedings. Instead, we explore practical solutions to prevent alienation that can even inadvertently occur. We will discover how to navigate the natural tendency to allow anger towards an ex-partner to seep over and impact our children. Parents need to take ownership of their feelings and actions to prevent alienating their kids from the other parent. Research shows that the success rate of kids significantly increases when both parents are involved. Of course, there are exceptions to this in cases of abuse or addiction. In addition to discussing how to avoid parental alienation in the context of separated parents, we also explore the challenges faced by widows/widowers, such as managing memories, in-law family relationships, and situations where children may exhibit character traits like our ex-partner. We will explore practical tips on how to maintain a sense of unity in an ‘un-unified’ reality. We also address the issue of parenting at a distance for those who don't have primary custody and how to parent effectively in such situations. The goal is to create a sense of "us" even when the "we" no longer exists. Overall, we will gain valuable insights into avoiding parental alienation and creating a sense of unity in our fractured family. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID "When I Talk to God, I Talk About You" is available now at PenguinRandomHouse.com

Let’s Talk About Sex Talking about sex can be uncomfortable but it’s necessary. The world around us, through TV, movies, and social media, inundates us and our kids with images, ideas, and perspectives on sex. We almost can’t get away from it. That’s why it’s so important we talk about sex from a godly perspective so we can examine, filter, and correct the viewpoints we are surrounded by. God created sex as a gift. If we don’t talk about His plan and intention for sex, the only voices out there will be worldly ones that do not reflect God’s plan or design.So, how do we navigate dating and sex with a healthy, faith-based approach especially in a world that has changed so much? This can be especially challenging as we go from having active sex lives, while married or in relationship, to being single and finding our way through what seem to be changing values and expectations. Robert, Kimberley, Marissa, and Elizabeth gathered to discuss this, sometimes awkward topic, candidly and authentically about the following perspectives. How has the dating world changed since you first started dating? Sexual desire is natural and God-givenDating and intimacy are about more than just sexGod created us for connection and intimacy, His wayWhat are some practical things we can do to prepare for dating?So, if we can reframe our mindset around dating, what are some ways we can look at sex differently? For the complete show notes go to https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/02/17/let-s-talk-about-sex 

41. RAISING BOYS - ROBERT NOLAND by Solo Parent Society

It’s so true that after becoming a Solo Parent, the dynamics of our friendships and relationships, as well as any romantic connection, can seem to evaporate. In this new year, as we take inventory of the things in our past and we look toward the future, we know how important relationships are, especially in a season that can be so lonely. But where do we meet people? Where do we start? For some of us, we have felt relational rejection, and our trust has been betrayed or, at the very least, damaged. Relationships can feel so awkward, and frankly, it’s hard to think of having the energy or the courage to put ourselves out there again. Yet, we all know that we need relationships more than ever, so as we look at this new year and the idea of all things new, how do we sort through relationships both old and new… both friendships and maybe even romantic… realizing we are in a different place than we use to be.  For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

'Struggle' is a single parent's middle name. Often we can get so overwhelmed by what life brings us we stop paying attention to the opportunity struggle brings. Today, Author and counselor Chip Dodd PhD of Sage Hill walks us through how to do more than just survive the struggle. Check out Chip's books and resources at http://chipdodd.com

In today's episode, we explore the concept of spiritual growth – what it truly means and how we can nurture it in our lives. While many of us are familiar with the term, understanding its essence, and incorporating it into our daily lives can be challenging. Spiritual growth is often mistaken for simply modifying our behavior, but it goes much deeper than that. Join us as we discuss the struggles we face in making time for spiritual growth and how conventional methods of measuring it can sometimes leave us feeling unfulfilled. Our special guest Brian Hardin, an accomplished recording producer with over 100 albums to his credit, shares his journey from experiencing a mediocre Christian faith to committing to daily Bible reading. This dedication led to the creation of the Daily Audio Bible, which has garnered over 80 million downloads and impacts hundreds of thousands of listeners daily. Brian is also a bestselling author of four books, an ordained minister, a musician, and a graphic designer. Today we gain valuable insights into spiritual growth and practical ways to incorporate it into our lives for a more enriched and fulfilling spiritual journey. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As single parents, we are very, very acquainted with our shortcomings. It may have been a big indiscretion or mistake that we’ve made in our past, or maybe the day-to-day awareness that we’re not doing everything perfectly. In either case, most of us carry around a low-grade sense of shame a lot of the time. It’s hard to face head-on the fact that we fall short, but a significant part of moving towards health is embracing the good and bad in our lives. In those areas where we see ourselves as failing, having grace, and showing ourselves forgiveness are critical. So how do we do that? How do we face our weakness and show ourselves true grace as we move towards wholeness?  Brad Schmitt spent 12 years writing a popular celebrity column for a major publication and was an entertainment reporter on TV. During his TV reporter days, Brad was convicted twice in three years for drunken driving. He got fired and went to jail and rehab before recovering from substance abuse in 2010. Since then, he has had a complete life change, leading others on the recovery path and becoming a single father by choice, raising a foster son. In this episode, we discuss what self-forgiveness looks like in his life. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

One of the things that we hear about often is just how lonely the solo parent life can be and how we don’t know who to trust. Often, the people we were close to when we were married no longer understand the life of a solo parent, and it can be tiresome to try to explain our point of view all the time… so a tendency can be to isolate. Many of us are so tired of explaining our situation, so worn out on sharing / revisiting the hurt that we don’t reach out for help.  When faced with tedious day-to-day struggles and the big things that come up, figuring out the road forward without the benefit of a sounding board in your life can be extremely challenging. We know that growth requires people, mentors, and guides in any area of life, but where do we look for mentors? Where do we find trusted people that can understand our story and help us grow? ALSO, how can we become that safe place for others to go to? So today, we discuss Personal Growth as a team sport. Click here for the detailed show notes, tips and links. Visit to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

"The fear of the unknowns as a single parent, being unsure of how we will provide for our kids, with so many things changing, can leave us wondering if we will ever have enough. It’s uncomfortable being in a position where you feel like you don’t have enough, physically, or emotionally and to wonder if you ever will.The life of a solo parent often feels like it could be summed up in that one phrase – we don’t have enough. We don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money, we don’t have enough “me”. There never seems to be enough. So, how can we have enough when we don’t have ‘enough’? Single mom, Marissa Lee shares how she has struggled with never feeling like she has enough or is enough while raising her boys alone. And it’s something she’s afraid they may struggle with too. And as a single parent, especially if you struggled in your marriage or past relationships, we even feel like we aren’t “good enough” as a person. We just don’t feel like we measure up. It’s common to feel like this, so, how do we deal with that? How do we find stability and a sense of having enough? Kim shares that the only way she found her way through was with “a whole lotta prayer and relying on Jesus”. She was raised in a home where she watched her parents pray and trust God her whole life but then, as a single mom, it was her turn. She was faced with a crossroad. She didn’t know how or why things would work out, but she had to trust God when things were crazy and uncertain. She prayed for milk, gas for her car and for money for rent. And God came through. Robert shares that he couldn’t give his daughters everything they wanted after his divorce. At the time, he felt like he was lacking because he couldn’t provide the way he once had. Now, though, years later, one of his daughters told him she’s glad they didn’t get everything they wanted as kids. She now sees she is better off than friends who had things handed to them. Kim said she and her kids look back at the time they spent in one of their tiniest apartment as one of the best times in their lives. Financially, Kim felt like she was failing. The kids wanted iPads and she couldn’t buy them. Instead, her kids saved for over a year to purchase them. They became prized possessions they carried with pride because they worked hard to get them. That lesson was priceless and has stuck with them into adulthood. What felt like a season of lack became a time with some of the richest memories. There will be many times like this, as single parents, when we feel like we just don’t have “enough” but these seasons can become some of the richest experiences we have with our kids. For complete show notes and links go to - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/04/05/how-to-have-enough-when-we-don-t-have-enough" 

In today's episode, we explore the impact of life's traumas on our confidence and self-assurance. Experiences such as divorce, the loss of a spouse, or the difficulties of being an unwed mother can leave us feeling vulnerable, broken, or weak. The voices around us and within us often compound these feelings by reminding us of our perceived inadequacies. We delve into the factors that erode our sense of confidence and discuss strategies for overcoming them. Recognizing the external and internal pressures we face is crucial to regaining our footing and rebuilding our self-esteem. We address the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and the tendency to feel like we're falling short in various aspects of our lives. Join us as we uncover the root causes of diminished confidence and explore practical steps to reclaim our sense of self-assurance. This episode will provide guidance and support to those seeking to regain confidence in the face of vulnerability and adversity, empowering listeners to navigate life's challenges with resilience and strength. For all the detailed show notes, tips, and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything… it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

What we are talking about this week is a big issue for so many of us single parents. We want to move towards health and even recognize our part in the toxic relationship we’ve come out of. Yet, despite what we do, our ex (or others) continues to exhibit behaviors and traits that continue to offend and hurt. We recognize that forgiveness benefits us more than anybody else, but how are we supposed to forgive the actions or offenses that just continue to happen? Ongoing hurts bring up new pain and echo old wounds. In this episode, we discuss forgiving repeat offenders and offer four very helpful tips. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROIDSolo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

So often we get caught up in the craziness and chaos of solo parenting that we are not in tune with what's going on in the minds of our kids. Today we get to hear from a daughter of a solo mom and get an insightful view of things from her perspective. We are so grateful for the courage of Serena stepping up to share with us today.

Going beyond feeling grateful to choosing to give thanks, even for struggles, is a game changer. In this 10 min Thanksgiving episode host Robert Beeson explains how it transformed his life and sets us up for a rich holiday season.

When we talk about growing in grace, Kathie Lee Gifford is a shining example. She is an American icon, a talented actress, musical artist, and television personality. And she’s been through so many things. Yet, she continues to live a life epitomized by grace and love. When asked where her tenacity and drive come from, Kathie says she is a lifetime student of God’s word and reads it every day. And, when she reads it, “nobody in the Bible retired. They kept doing what God put them on this earth to do”. Kathie Lee loves to work and she thinks it’s a valuable gift God gives us for our purpose, our self-worth, and our growth. Being responsible to meet a deadline or keep people employed, and then mix that with the Holy Spirit, gives her purpose every morning and keeps her going. Kathie Lee says she learned from Paul Newman long ago that, “If I’ve got a pulse, I’ve got a purpose.” She has never entertained the idea of retirement. She has walked with the Lord since she was twelve years old, and while she doesn’t know how many days He has for her, she looks forward to finding out. This curiosity and sense of adventure is part of her continued growth. She has found genuine joy and is the happiest she has been in years. But she shares that, “Happiness is different than joy”. She has always been a joyful person because of her walk with the Lord but happiness comes from the word “happenstance”. Happiness is related to our circumstance whereas joy is not. She could find joy even in many sad and stress-filled moments, and did, but she is thankful to have now found herself in a rich, warm, and fun season, full of happiness too. And Kathie Lee has known hard circumstances full of controversy, accusation, betrayal, loss, and hurt. Many single parents have experienced those too and end up feeling rejected and a deep sense of loneliness.  For complete show notes click here .

Dating is a sticky subject for solo parents—not only has the dating world changed since we became single parents, but we have changed. We have a lot more to consider in dating relationships. What got us here isn’t going to get us where we want to be. We are all in varying stages of solo parenting, so our approaches to dating may be different. However, there are some ways we can all be wiser when we decide to bring dating into our lives. Today, 2 single dads and 2 single moms discuss Dating Differently. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Being a single parent is complicated enough much less when we discover that our kids are the “problem”. Founder of Solo Parent Society, Robert Beeson, shares that one of the hardest parts of his parenting journey was finding out times that his kids weren’t making the wisest decisions. But that’s just part of life. Kids are kids. They are learning, they are growing, and they will make mistakes. But no parent wants to get the phone call that lets them know their kid hasn’t made the best choices. Parenting can be overwhelming, and as single parents, we see our kids struggling to overcome the pain and hurts of life. Sometimes this pain comes out as bullying, depression, or acting out. How do we look at these struggles from the perspective of love-based parenting? Crystal Paine hosts her own show “The Crystal Paine Show”, she’s the best-selling author of “Say Goodbye to Survival Mode” and “Money Making Mom”, and she’s the founder of www.moneysavingmom.com. Crystal is releasing a brand-new book called “Love Centered Parenting: The No Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids”. She wrote the book after walking through a difficult season in her own family and feeling called to share the lessons learned with others. Crystal has four kids from 16 years old to ten months old and is also a foster parent. She wrote the book to help other parents not feel so alone, especially for those whose kids are hurting and whose pain is being manifested in challenging behavior and poor choices. Crystal said the key is recognizing what is underneath the bad behaviors. She said parents often see big feelings coming out sideways, in various ways like anger, depression, aggression, or anything in between. Crystal’s experience with this hit a crisis point the day she found herself walking into the emergency room saying, “My child is suicidal.” It was a day she never ever envisioned as a parent. Crystal said it just hit her, “That gut wrenching feeling of desperation that something’s really wrong and I can’t fix it.” Her child was so angry, mouthing off, acting out, and saying scary things. As parents, they didn’t know what to do so they started to work with a therapist. The therapist began to work with her child and after several weeks, she came to Crystal and said, “It seems like you are trying so hard to fix your child. What would it look like to walk with your child?” That question started Crystal on a journey to begin paying attention to how she interacted with her kids. So often, she said, something would come up - a phone call from school, the kids fighting, or someone acting up – and she would swoop in to fix it. She would correct and preach sermons and lecture. In her constant correcting, she realized she was spending so little time connecting with her kids and just walking with them. She began to recognize that, just like her kids’ behaviors were evidence of so much going on beneath the surface, that applied to her too. She was parenting from a place within herself that was operating from a set of lies that she was inadequate, a failure, and a disappointment. Those big feelings and lies below the surface were showing up in her continual attempts to manage and control their behavior. To read the full show notes and links to her books go to -https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/03/08/when-our-child-is-the-problem 

As single parents, we all have direct and extended parenting relationships and will for the rest of our kid's lives. Often those relationships are strained and even volatile. For example, things can escalate very quickly if we’re divorced and it’s an ongoing contentious situation. Then there are the ex-in-laws that have very strong opinions about how their grandkids should be raised and can tend, at times, to overreach. Finally, for those that haven’t been married, there’s the other parent that has certain rights to be in our child’s lives, but from our perspective, it is less than optimal for our kids. In all these cases, how do we bring peace to the situation? We know nothing will ever be perfect, but how can we be the ones to bring peace and the stability that it fosters? Today we have Tammy Daughtry back in the studio with us. She is a leading expert in co-parenting issues and author of the book “Co-parenting works”, she is also the creator of an outstanding program "One heart, Two homes,” and she and her husband Jay run a great organization called Center for Modern Family Dynamics here in Nashville. Also, both she and her husband were single parents before meeting each other - so they know firsthand what we walkthrough. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog Co-Parenting app - appclose.com Tammy's site - modernfamilydynamics.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Like we said last week, Self-care is a common buzzword that every single parent has heard. But what does that really mean, and where do we start with it? It seems the cultural narratives are way off base. What the world tells us about self-care is more about self-indulging ourselves because we deserve it, or self-sufficiency. The idea of treating yourself to a spa day, or something nice isn’t wrong in and of itself… but there’s more to self-care than is being advertised. Last week we explored what self-care looks like for us internally - in other words…what we can do for ourselves - things that we have control over  Today we will focus on the other side of redefining self-care - External self-care, which is what we can do or where we can go outside of ourselves, in other words, external interaction that feeds our soul.  For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

Finding peace after divorce, during change, or life transition is difficult. How can single parents manage the chaos of crisis and find peace in the midst of this?  For insight, we talked with Dr. John Delony,  a mental health expert and leading voice on emotional wellness with extensive experience in crisis response. For the full show notes click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/06/23/a-sound-mindset/

We often assume courage comes from within us, trying to show strength and keep everything together. But that's not always effective. We believe true courage comes from God, but how do we actually make that shift from self-reliance to relying on God? In this episode, we'll discuss: Why we tend to think courage comes from ourselves. Steps to start relying on God for courage. What changes when we rely on God for courage. Join us as we explore these ideas, helping us all find strength and courage in our faith. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links click - soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Single parents deal with so much emotional trauma, failure of a marriage, shame and guilt, and maybe a spouse's death. Perhaps an unplanned pregnancy. Then the day-to-day pressures of trying to hold it all together on our own, trying to seem strong, can all get in the way of feeling whole, but we still have to show up for our kids, our job, our life. So how can we do that?  How do we establish emotional stability when emotionally we feel bankrupt and broken?  Today we discuss this with Dr. John Delony, a bestselling author, mental health expert with two PhDs and over two decades of experience in counseling, and host of The Dr. John Delony Show.  Click for the detailed show notes, tips and links .  Click to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional. Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

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As we’ve been talking about this month, the holiday season can heighten all single parents' lonely and painful feelings. The magic that we used to experience, especially when our kids were young and we had an intact family, is now a thing of the past… and because of some of the pain, we can become cynical and feel like we’re stuck in the pain. Some of us can even slip into a sense of bitterness, comparing our lives to others and even the way we used to be. We do our best to try to put on a happy face going into the holidays for the sake of our kids, which often is in stark contrast to what we are feeling inside. So how do we regain a sense of magic and wonder when so much of what we identify about the holidays, reminds us of the pain and dashed hopes we have experienced? For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Welcome to the first part of our series, "Relationship Killers," with today's focus being "hurry." We often overlook the frenzied pace at which we lead our lives. Living in constant haste negatively impacts not only our minds and bodies but, most notably, our relationships. One question we need to ask ourselves is: How can we establish a healthier relationship with time, the one resource we can't increase? We're privileged to have Jen Pollock Michel with us today to explore this topic further. Jen is a renowned speaker, coach, podcast host, and award-winning author of five books. Her latest work, "In Good Time: 8 Habits for Reimagining Productivity, Resisting Hurry, and Practicing Peace," is particularly relevant to our discussion. Together, we'll delve into strategies for reimagining productivity, resisting the urge to rush, and instilling peace in our daily lives. Tune in as we unpack how to foster a healthier relationship with time, to enhance not just our personal well-being but also our interpersonal relationships. This is a conversation you won't want to miss. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog More on Jen - jenpollockmichel.com —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As single parents, we have all encountered struggle. Some have had a spouse leave, some have experienced the unexpected death of our spouse, and some of us have been so surprised to be faced with the enormous weight of being pregnant and having a child with no partner. In every case that brings us to this 'Solo Parent Table', where we all can say we have struggled - alone.  Sometimes that struggle seems to define us in ways that are not healthy. ‘I am not enough’ and ‘I am just damaged goods’ are messages that reverberate in our heads. As a result, many of us feel lost and lose hope, even though we have faith in the God who redeems all things. The beautiful thing is that in the midst of some of the most challenging struggles, God not only redeems, but He refines us and can actually define our sense of worth, BECAUSE of the struggle. Darren Tyler is someone who, day to day, encounters people in serious struggle. He is a 20 year veteran in the music and entertainment industry who walked away from that career to become a Pastor. While he was working with some of Christian music's most prominent artists in 2010, he laid that aside to give his full attention to Conduit Mission, a non-profit dedicated to releasing people from extreme poverty and slavery. He is also lead pastor to an incredible, fast-growing church in the Nashville area called Conduit Church.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links at SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book Join our daily meditational devotional  Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

We have a summertime treat! EVERYBODY loves the band Journey, in fact, in 2009 the song 'Don't Stop Believing' became the top-selling song in iTunes history. They are one of the top-selling rock bands in the history of music. Jonathan Cain is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame band Journey and the writer of most of their hit songs, including 'Don't Stop Believing.' But like we all know, there is often a difficult story behind what the public sees. We had the opportunity to sit with Jonathan and talk about his fascinating journey (pun intended) through some challenging and even tragic events that God turned around for good. Among many other things today, you will learn the inspiring story behind the song 'Don't Stop Believing.'

When you hear the word 'budgeting' does you mind automatically go to the feelings of restriction and giving up Starbucks? There is a different way to look at it - it is studying your financial story and then taking charge of it. No matter how much money we have, rather than letting marketers sway us, it is important for us to be in control of our dollars. Today hosts Robert Beeson and Marissa Lee discuss the Power of Budgeting.

Even in the midst of being overwhelmed it is possible to experience an abundant life. Today host Robert Beeson discusses 3 keys to unlocking your abundant life.

We all want to love our kids well. Loving them while we are in a position of feeling broken and vulnerable can create problems - blind-spots. Sometimes we tend to spoil them, shielding them from life’s natural consequences because they have already had so much trauma. Or we can be triggered by seeing our ex in their behavior and inadvertently withdraw. Coming out of a relationship that leaves us with scars can leave us with blind-spots related to how we see and give healthy love to our family. Ultimately, we should parent our kids as God parents us. God parents us by investing in long term character over short term gratification. Even with all good intentions, we can develop blind-spots in 3 primary areas. -Overcompensating Making sure our kids have the latest and greatest. -Not giving consequences Not holding them accountable for their behavior or choices. -Crossing emotional boundaries We can become either become dependent or the opposite we withdraw. Not addressing any and/or all of these blind-spots can create long term ramifications for our kids. ( Narcissism, entitlement, or failure to adapt are examples of the mindsets that our kids will take into their future relationships, both personal or professional.) In general, a good question to ask ourselves when we are facing any situation with our kids is a self-assessment - “Am I trying to make my child happy, or am I trying to do what’s best for my child?” As single parents, we have so much other drama in so many areas of our lives, it is natural not to want to create more tension with our kids. Nevertheless, it is essential to address these blind-spots to create the most potential of our child’s future successful relationships. -Overcompensating Changing the way we look at things. God doesn’t give us everything we want. He is more interested in developing our character, which sometimes is hard. We need to continually self assess what our motivation is - are trying to make them happy or build character. We need to remind ourselves that ‘withholding’ their temporary relief or pleasure is a form of love. -Not giving consequences Overlooking behavior or making excuses for behavior might alleviate momentary discomfort, but it can create long term ramifications. What we permit now will grow. We need to be very clear about Ground rules and expectations (often in writing), and then be consistent and be willing to escalate consequences. That is equipping our kids to know that is how the world works. If we fall short, don’t give up… get back up and keep trying. Also, expect to be tested with harder and harder resistance… It actually means you are doing things right. -Crossing emotional boundaries It makes sense that our kids are the safest place to invest our emotions… or that things they do can trigger memories of our ex’s behaviors. We need to remind ourselves that these are human beings that need to see healthy love modeled. We are not in equal emotional places. So we need to seek outside adult friendships to process through the tough stuff and feel the intimate care of others. If we are prone to withdraw, schedule time to just being present. Go to where they are and what interests them, and just be there with them. As single parents, it is natural to have blind-spots that looks a lot like love. We need to parent like God parents - paying attention to what is being build rather than immediate happiness. Being brave enough to disappoint - and always parent from a position of love, not fear or immediate gratification. REMEMBER, we were chosen to guide and mold the humans entrusted to us. Join our community at Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety 

Spoiler alert: You will never be able to listen to this song the same again. We have heard from so many Solos that this can be one of the most challenging times of the year. Christmas has always been something that we look forward to—especially being parents. But, being a single parent, holidays can open up so many wounds. As we look at Advent this month, our theme this week is Joy. In a season where so many solos feel distraught, not full of joy, we can’t help relate to that night in Bethlehem so long ago when love broke through in such an unexpected way.  The song we’re talking about is ‘Oh Holy Night’, and it too has an unexpected history that, we predict, will forever change the way you not only hear the song but will leave you with a renewed sense of wonder. We are joined this week by one of the humblest, passionate, and authentic pastors that we know. He’s also an author of a fantastic book called Soul Rest; of course, I’m talking about Curtis Zackery, who goes by CZ.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Sometimes during our solo season, we just don’t know where we fit in. We feel like neighbors are talking about us, like we are walking on eggshells, like the places we once belonged are no more for us. Friendships and relationships we had before seem different now. It can be awkward not knowing how or where you fit in as a single parent.  We hear often from single parents that they just don’t know where they belong anymore. And, unfortunately, there are some deep wounds that single parents have experienced from no longer feeling comfortable in communities they used to be part of, like church and small groups.  As we consider how to fit into community as single parents, we may need to look at potential messages we may be sending to others that can create an abyss between us and them. We may need to consider some of the things we are telling ourselves. To begin to fit into community again and not feel so alienated, we need to develop some new strategies. For the full show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

If you struggle with situations in parenting that are beyond your control, this is for you. As single parents we often have zero control over how our kids are being raised while they are with the other parent. We may feel powerless over the other parent’s values or principles that are counter to our own. Other times the struggle of parenting feels out of control because our exes don’t show up in our kids’ lives or participate as much as we would like them to. This can be so hurtful to our kids and we can’t do anything about that. Further issues can develop as our kids get older and start making choices of their own with friends or outside influences. Each of these challenges represent parenting when things are beyond out control. So, how do we help our kids, and how do we parent, when things like this are out of our control?Single mom, Elizabeth, shares her struggle with splitting custody 50/50 with her son’s dad who has different values, different beliefs in God, and a different parenting style. “It really forces me to go into parenting with an open hand. Actually, it’s more like I have a closed fist and God is prying my hand open through this.” Joking aside, the struggle is real. As single parents, we worry about what’s going on at the other parent’s house. Some of what we teach our kids feels like it is constantly unraveling when they are not with us and when they come back, we have to start over again. Maybe you are walking intentionally toward healing but your ex is not. This can place stress on your kids as they see different things happening in each environment. So often, our protective side wants to come roaring out when we see our kids burdened by all of these dynamics. Sometimes instead of sharing custody, you may have a coparent who, by choice or by legal decree, is not participating enough or as we want them to. It feels so helpless to want the other parent to step up and send a birthday card or call their kids. Even though we might have an issue with our ex, they are still the parent to our kids, and we want to see our kids bond with them in a healthy way. For Kimberley, her ex would see the kids fairly regularly at first but then over time, it became less and less, until almost nothing as her kids got older. It’s hard to watch this dynamic and not want to say something but we have to bite our tongues and allow our children to love the other parent. Regrettably, even if we are quiet, when communication from the other parent becomes non-existent, our kids pick up on this. They start to see it for themselves, particularly as they get older. And, if their parent has been absent, our kids sometimes get to the point that they don’t want to reach out to them either because they’ve been hurt too much. Robert shares an experience where he invited his daughters’ mom to one of their daughters’ birthday party. They were all planning on her being there, and she didn’t show up. Robert felt so helpless and disheartened. He had to come to terms doing what he could do as a Dad and then surrender the rest to God and let Him take charge of the rest. It can be so easy to want to fix and smooth things over for our kids but we just can’t do that all of the time. For so long, Elizabeth wanted to do anything she could to get her ex to grow, to change, and to be more present for her son. She finally had to release this to God and focus only on what she could own within her own four walls. We can’t control the other parent’s healing path, what they do as a person, or their desire to become a healthier adult. If we are trying to control those things, we will end up not being fully present with our kids. It’s hard to let go but, ultimately, it’s about trusting God and believing that He loves our kids more than we do. We have to take the high ground and release what we can’t control....

Today, in a special episode, American Ninja Warrior Maggi Thorne shares her story of walking through life as a Solo Mom.

Forgiveness is a tough topic but an important one. Sometimes we feel entitled to hang on to unforgiveness and letting go seems like letting someone off the hook, but we are called to forgive and there are benefits. Releasing things and being proactive with forgiveness can help us move forward and heal.   This week, single mom, Amber, shares some of her journey to forgive even when she didn’t want to. Like many divorced solo parents, Amber got married expecting it to last forever. But after 17 years, her marriage hit a crisis that ended in separation. She longed to see her marriage saved, and over the course of a three years, she waited, fasted, prayed, and sought wise counsel. She did everything possible, including many things driven by control and codependency, to avoid divorce. Ultimately, though, her ex was never fully on board to work on the relationship so, after 21 years, her marriage ended. From a place of painful devastation, Amber found herself on the difficult journey of needing to forgive.   She shares it wasn’t infidelity that was the most difficult to forgive. One of the hardest things to forgive were the hurts and pains her children went through in the process of divorce.  For former single dad, Robert, one of the hardest for him to forgive was the wasted time and effort he poured into his marriage wanting it to be restored only to find out his spouse wasn’t being honest and committed in return. That was difficult to let go of and forgive.  Kimberley shares that, like Amber, the hurts she experienced were easier to forgive than the hurts done to her children. It has been hard to see them struggling and, as they have gotten older, to become resigned to the pain and losses they have faced. As parents, it’s difficult to see our kids hurting and often we are hurting too. Forgiveness doesn’t come easy under circumstances like these so how do we work toward forgiveness? For the full show notes, tips and links click visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Courage is an important topic so it’s appropriate to have an expert on the topic join us today, a decorated Green Beret whose story of facing himself, his shortcomings, his doubts and all of the things is a perfect way for us to focus on this week's topic, which is finding the courage to face myself.  We know we need to own our stuff, but it takes courage to face it. And that is precisely why this conversation is so important. None of us like admitting mistakes and faults. It's hard to face the times that we have fallen short.  A lot of times, especially for single parents, if you've gone through a divorce, it's so easy to blame the other person rather than admit, “Hmm, maybe I have some stuff I've got to work on.”  Our guest today is Scott Mann who spent 23 years in the United States Army, 18 of those as a Green Beret. He specialized in high-impact missions all over the world, including Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Panama, Iraq, and Afghanistan. He appears frequently on CNN, Bloomberg Fox, Fox news, and dozens of other shows. What some may not know is that even with all the training and expertise that Scott, has and all the things he did in his life, he personally faced a significant crossroads that almost cost him his life.  Scott Mann joined the podcast to share some of his story with us and particularly his own journey on this topic, “The Courage to Face Myself”. We are so thankful for his service and his willingness to share his story with us.  For the full show notes, tips and links click visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

We all want to love our kids well. Loving them while we are in a position of feeling broken and vulnerable can create problems - blind-spots. Sometimes we tend to spoil them, shielding them from life's natural consequences because they have already had so much trauma. Or we can be triggered by seeing our ex in their behavior and inadvertently withdraw. Coming out of a relationship that leaves us with scars can leave us with  blind-spots related to how we see and give healthy love to our family. Ultimately, we should parent our kids as God parents us. God parents us by investing in long term character over short term gratification. Even with all good intentions, we can develop blind-spots in 3 primary areas. -Overcompensating Making sure our kids have the latest and greatest. -Not giving consequences Not holding them accountable for their behavior or choices. -Crossing emotional boundaries We can become either become dependent or the opposite we withdraw. Not addressing any and/or all of these blind-spots can create long term ramifications for our kids. ( Narcissism, entitlement, or failure to adapt are examples of the mindsets that our kids will take into their future relationships, both personal or professional.) In general, a good question to ask ourselves when we are facing any situation with our kids is a self-assessment - "Am I trying to make my child happy, or am I trying to do what's best for my child?" As single parents, we have so much other drama in so many areas of our lives, it is natural not to want to create more tension with our kids. Nevertheless, it is essential to address these blind-spots to create the most potential of our child's future successful relationships. -Overcompensating Changing the way we look at things. God doesn't give us everything we want. He is more interested in developing our character, which sometimes is hard. We need to continually self assess what our motivation is - are trying to make them happy or build character. We need to remind ourselves that 'withholding' their temporary relief or pleasure is a form of love. -Not giving consequences Overlooking behavior or making excuses for behavior might alleviate momentary discomfort, but it can create long term ramifications. What we permit now will grow. We need to be very clear about Ground rules and expectations (often in writing), and then be consistent and be willing to escalate consequences. That is equipping our kids to know that is how the world works. If we fall short, don't give up... get back up and keep trying. Also, expect to be tested with harder and harder resistance... It actually means you are doing things right. -Crossing emotional boundaries It makes sense that our kids are the safest place to invest our emotions... or that things they do can trigger memories of our ex's behaviors. We need to remind ourselves that these are human beings that need to see healthy love modeled. We are not in equal emotional places. So we need to seek outside adult friendships to process through the tough stuff and feel the intimate care of others. If we are prone to withdraw, schedule time to just being present. Go to where they are and what interests them, and just be there with them. As single parents, it is natural to have blind-spots that looks a lot like love. We need to parent like God parents - paying attention to what is being build rather than immediate happiness. Being brave enough to disappoint - and always parent from a position of love, not fear or immediate gratification. REMEMBER, we were chosen to guide and mold the humans entrusted to us. Join our community at Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety

On so many levels, the life of a single parent can be heartbreaking, over and over again. After experiencing repeated hurts, it can be hard to believe that something good will come. Our focus this month is on courage and this week, on the podcast, Dr. Chip Dodd joins Robert and Kimberley to talk about having the courage to find the gift of hurt.  Dr. Chip Dodd is the best-selling author of seven books including one which serves as a foundational tool for many of the things we do here at Solo Parent Society, called “The Voice of the Heart.” For over 30 years, Chip has poured his heart and experience in education into serving others. He is a counselor, mentor, speaker, author, a friend of ours, and he is committed to helping people know themselves better by living fully in relationship with each other and, ultimately, with God.   So much fruit has come from Dr. Dodd’s work. In his book “The Voice of the Heart”, he shares that courage is the “gift of hurt” and, in order for each of us to reach that gift, we have to be willing to hurt. Dr. Dodd admits that finding the gift of hurt starts out very counter-intuitive.  For the full show notes, tips and links, visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book.  Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

A common experience we hear about often from single parents is codependency. “Codependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, underachievement. A core characteristic is an  excessive reliance on other people’s approval for a sense of identity. It can be a serious condition that wrecks relationships often unseen or identified until it’s too late.” Codependency hurts us because we are never meant to be the end all for somebody else and it hurts them because they end up becoming entitled or reliant on others for their own happiness.  Grammy nominated musician and mentor, Paul Colman, shares his wisdom, strength and experience after learning some hard lessons about himself and about codependency during divorce. Paul started therapy after his wife asked for a divorce over ten years ago. The process was challenging, but through it, he learned he struggled with codependency. Wanting approval from others had become an idol and a drug. Codependency was a disease that plagued him, but it was hidden by the image he projected. What he found out through therapy and by getting to know himself, is that he didn’t need the projection, he just needed to be present for those in his life.  Read the rest of the show notes https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/06/30/overcoming-codependency-paul-colman/ To get Paul's music search 'Paul Colman' on Apple Music or Spotify or PaulColman.com

Lies create chaos! Anytime we face a loss or unplanned situation - divorce, death or unwed pregnancy people talk. A natural reaction is to try to correct or control the things being said about us. Lies are always on repeat in our minds, so how can we get control of the things being said about us ... or equally important - the lies we tell ourselves. Today, founder of ReRoute.net Leeann Courvoisier gives practical insights into dealing with lies.

As uncomfortable as it can be to talk about it, it is essential to talk about OUR money - (or lack thereof). When we lose our financial partner through a divorce or death, it can feel isolating and overwhelming to figure out our finances alone. Today hosts Robert Beeson, and Marissa Lee discuss Solo Parent hacks related to managing our finances.

It can be overwhelming... conflicting, complicated and all consuming.  Conflicting - Exciting and terrifying Complicated - We are not just making decisions for ourselves, it effects my kids... potentially my ex. All consuming - Making room to do this means I am sacrificing another area and I am already spread thin. NOT TO MENTION finding a mate /or not is probably the biggest decision we will have to make. 3 elements to factor in as we consider dating again. 1. Identify where I am - self awareness Name you fears, it brings freedom - with awareness brings healing Name your feeling - its ok to be excited as much as afraid Who am I - am I someone that someone would want to date? What work do I still need to do? What are scars - Replace the word 'baggage' with 'bonus'? What are hopes? Give lots of grace - see this is not a one shot chance 2. Define what you are looking for, what we need and where you want to go First of all when thinking about this don't envision a specific person. Create a check list  - Write down what's important related to Career Family - existing and or future Age Faith How they treat people How they treat their kids Disipline Kindness Why do I want to be remarried?          Companionship?          Emotional stability?          Financial stability? What did you love about your last relationship What are non negotiable Pray - God, what am I missing? 3. Create Plan  - Patience or proceed Patience is self explanatory - and remember it is a season - you will not stay 'in the waiting'... expand your friend group circle so loneliness doesn't compromise the waiting. Proceeding Check list Pray - submit the conversations If using a dating app -Use caution - don't put to much out there -Take time -Be completely honest -Be patient -Proximity -Meet at public place -Don't let them in your house -Set boundaries -Be true to you -Don't move too quickly - Especially physically  - Casual sex is anything but casual. It comes with burdens, shame and complicates healing and can create emotional confusion. -How quick you introduce to kids - protecting kids from getting to attached -Be open to new Remember,  to date or not to date is one of the most important decision we will face as a single parent and it deserves a carefully thought out position, and tons of prayer.

As we say goodbye to our co-host Kimberley Mitchell, worth is a very appropriate topic. Where we find our worth is a search we’ve been on since we were little children. The older we get, the more layers we seem to pile on the core of who we are. Those layers might look like achievements, or they might look like failures, a job that we’re doing, what we’re known for… All of those things contribute to who we are, but it’s easy to allow those things to create our sense of worth and identity. For those of us who have been around the church for so long, much of what we have learned is about performing. When part of who you are is being known for being a co-host on a podcast, stepping away can affect a sense of worth. So today, Kim speaks candidly about how stepping away from a sense of contributing or playing a public role can play into our sense of worth. And she reflects on the early days of being a solo mom, and we explore the quest we have been on since childhood, where we find our worth. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

This has been such a weird season because of the pandemic. So many of our weekly activities have stopped including being able to go to church regularly. For many of us, church has been an important lifeline and a vital part of our spiritual lives. But, due to Covid, for all practical purposes, churches have been shut down leaving a void for us and for our kids. So how do we spiritually guide our kids? Regular contributor, Marissa joins us to talk about this very thing. Many parents don’t feel equipped to spiritually guide their kids and Marissa feels the same way. None of us feel like experts in God. As single parents, we may even feel like it’s not our job to teach our kids about God, but God sees it differently. Not only is it important but it’s crucial we pour into our kids spiritually. Researcher George Barna says that what kids believe by the age of thirteen is very much what they will continue to believe and take with them into adulthood. That information is scary, but while our kids are still in our homes, the cement is still wet. It’s so important that we live in a culture where parents don’t feel able to teach our kids spiritually. Parents don’t see themselves as experts. Instead, they leave discipleship of their kids to the local church. And the church is an important avenue for spiritual formation. But it’s not the only one and it may not even be the most significant one. The church is often viewed as the primary avenue but what kids learn at home is incredibly influential. This can be hard to talk about because single parents don’t need one more thing to shame themselves about or one more thing to feel like you are not doing adequately. So, we wanted to dig into this more and talk about ways we can spiritually God our kids when we don’t feel like the experts. For the complete show notes with links go to https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/03/22/how-to-spiritually-guide-our-kids 

Self-care is a common buzzword that every single parent has heard. We know we need to take care of ourselves so that we have something to give to our kids. Self-care is essential, but as advertised on social media and TV all around us, self-care seems to be more about treating ourselves to special things. It can seem more like numbing or a Band-Aid so that we can ignore our struggles. But here’s the thing, cultural narratives are way off base. What the world tells us about self-care is more about self-indulging because we deserve it or self-sufficiency. The idea of treating yourself to a spa day, or getting a manicure and pedicure, or even shopping is not necessarily wrong in and of itself… but there’s more to self-care that is being advertised. So for the next two weeks, we’ll do our best to redefine what self-care might look like, breaking it into two sections. In this episode, we explore internal self-care, and next week will dive into external self-care.  For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

As single parents, one thing we all have in common is that we’re juggling so many balls in the air...all of the time. Paying bills, keeping a job, cooking, cleaning, being a taxi driver, and being a good parent can keep our minds spinning, trying to forecast the next step, the next responsibility, or the next shoe to drop.  So often on this podcast, we talk about one of the greatest things we can give our kids is our presence, so as we move into this new year and look at our parenting, how can we move towards being more fully present with our kids? What are some practical things we can do, and are there simple approaches we can take to be more engaged with our kids... beyond just the tactical, keeping them healthy, fed, and clothed. This week we have a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founder of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA, Dr. Dan Siegel with us to talk about All Things New: Parenting with Presence. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Many of us have been brought up in the church where we have been taught that God loves us right where we are; there’s nothing that can separate us from the love of God. But do we really live from that position? When we ask, “how does God see us?” do we know the depths of that, or do we understand the gravity of it? As we enter this new year and explore all these different facets of vision, we thought it important to be reminded and anchored in how our creator Father sees us. Our guest is Scott Sauls, who has worked alongside Dr. Timothy Keller as a lead and preaching pastor for Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City. He’s planted churches around the country and has authored five books. He is now the senior pastor of Christ Presbyterian Church in Nashville and married with two daughters. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

It hurts to watch our kids face challenges and endure pain knowing some of the things we can’t fix, control, or even help them with. We feel like a bad parent if we can’t fix it or make it better. Most of us would rather take on their pain - but we can’t. So when our kids face hard things or things that hurt them, we often overcompensate, doing our best to lessen the blow, not helping them build the courage to face challenges for themselves. So how do we help them have the courage to deal with, or accept things, that hurt and are challenging when it feels counterintuitive to us wanting to protect them. Fortunately for all of us, Dr. Chipp Dodd is here to guide us through How to help our kids accept things they cannot change. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Some of us think that self love is only self serving. An incorrect belief that in order to parent well, our kid's needs come before our needs, and often we over compensate. The problem is, we can't give what we don't have. Often we spend so much time focusing on other people we don't spend enough time loving and caring for ourselves. Self Love if often viewed as a reward or a special treat we give to ourselves... but it goes far beyond that. Love is an activity not a quality. Loving yourself requires more than just a mindset, it requires action. 3 keys to practicing self love can be broken into the following steps. 1. Mindset Reset We have to start resetting how we view self love. Understanding that loving ourselves well brings value to how we love our kids. Self love = loving our kids It requires committing to making this a priority Give grace, not putting so much pressure on ourselves - be patient - a mind reset wont happen overnight TRY THIS - Right notes on bathroom mirror - reminding of who we are / our identity - Psalm 139 - Verbalize - say it out loud - say it till you believe - examples "I am worth taking care of, I am not my mistakes, I am not my past, I will live into my best days still ahead of me, God chose me to parent these kids - He will equip me." - Write down an inventory of what we have accomplished by ourselves Above all - Give grace - metamorphosis takes time 2. Boundaries Often we overcompensate for the hurt our kids have been through and let our boundaries down. Focus on establishing simple boundaries that provide margin to our lives. With our kids - Don't take every phone call - let them know every question they may have is important - but there is a difference between important vs immediate - Have them start to discern if the question they have is urgent and requires an immediate answer or if maybe they could text vs phone call or even write things down to bring up later. Create Space - be deliberate in carving out alone time. Let them know that everyone has a need for space and teach / model what that looks like next time you are asked "can I sleep in your bed". With our Ex / Family / Friends Get out of volatile conversations. Ask for schedule changes etc. to be put in writing. Express appreciation to our ex or family members for wrestling with trying to do the right thing. Deescalate. Don't say yes to every opportunity. Protect your time and remember saying 'yes' to something means saying 'no' to something else. Prioritize time with 'life giving' relationships 3. Fill your cup Do things that bring you joy Cooking, Gardening, Painting, Reading Try something new - allow yourself to pursue something exciting. Don't be afraid to ask for help create space - trade time with other single parents. Do things that you can complete, even as simple as making the bed. Remember: Self love is not selfish. If we don't do it for us, do it for our kids because we cant give what we don't have. When I enrich my own life, I'll be life-giving to others too. Join us on Facebook - Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety - You are not alone! 

"Relational stability after a failed relationship, or a painful loss of any kind, can seem like a lofty goal. As single parents, we may find ourselves bringing our hurts, fears, or mistrust into new relationships. So how do we create relational stability as we move forward?Robert Beeson and Kimberley Mitchell were single parents for eight years. Elizabeth Cole and Marissa Lee are both single moms. Robert asked Kim, “How long did it take for you to believe that you were able to have a new relationship and how could you tell?”“When God doesn’t bring someone, that’s a good way to tell”, says Kimberley. After her divorce, Kim dated someone for a while but quickly realized it wasn’t going to work out and that she needed to focus on her kids and her relationship with God. It’s easy to react out of loneliness and jump into something quickly but Kim says she is glad she ended up having to wait for another relationship, but the waiting wasn’t easy. She had meltdowns with God asking what was wrong with her and if she would ever have a significant other in her life again, but it wasn’t time. IF she had jumped into things much sooner, she would have missed out on a whole lot of blessings she experienced with her kids, and seeing God shine on them in ways they would have missed. Waiting was hard but she’s grateful now. How do you handle the loneliness of not having a relationship? For the complete show notes go to https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/04/12/creating-relational-stability 

Parenting alone can feel overwhelming especially with strong-willed kids who test limits. We know consistency is important but what can we do when our kids continually test boundaries? We talked with parenting expert Dr. Meg Meeker, a leading authority on parenting teens and children's health, bestselling author, pediatrician and a mom. Here are her baseline tips: 1. Don't feel like you have to be both parents. You are only one person. That's enough. 2. Parents need to intentionally find ways to have one on one time with their kids every week. Connect. Look them in the eye. Ask them how life is and listen. 3. Timing matters. Give your kids space after school or athletic practice. Bedtime can be a wonderful time to connect. 4. Our approach matters too. Go in gently. Don't lead with correction. Sit at the end of the bed. Ask questions but don't demand feedback. Say, "I haven't seen you much this week. How's life?" 5. Keep going back. Your persistence lets your kids know you simply want their company. They will open up but only if they think they can count on you and that you will listen. A sudden change in demeanor or pulling away can signal that something has happened outside of your home. Use the same curious, persistent approach. Ask, "You're not your usual happy self. Is there anything you want to talk about?" Go where they are, they need to know you are in it with them. If your child doesn't want to talk, try asking about their friends. They may share more openly if the focus is not on them, especially if they are embarrassed or think may get in trouble. When they do share, don't overreact. Remember, acting out and defiance aren't usually about you as a parent. Unhappy kids are defiant. "Inside of them, curled up, is a little kid who is in a tremendous amount of pain." Give them language to express themselves. Say, "I understand something is going on and you're really angry but even when you're mad you can't _____." Let them know their feelings are okay while giving them ownership of their behavior and the consequences. "If you say this or do that, then I'm going to have to take your phone away. I hope you don't put me in that position." For single parents, don't let guilt make you reluctant to set limits. Meeker says our message needs to be that life includes pain and we understand. Let them know it's okay to let their feelings bubble up to the surface and that you will be there to help them process. If a rebellious child is making bad choices, and the behaviors aren't dangerous, Meeker says hold on and stick with them through it. Most kids will eventually develop enough maturity to get past it. But, if they are doing dangerous things, you have to monitor their behavior closely. Sometimes rebellion is a test to see what you will do. They want to know how far you will go to get them. They may scream, be mortified, and say they hate you but, as a parent, you must do the hard things. Dr, Meeker says, "Your job is to raise a healthy 25-year-old not a healthy 18-year-old" because their brains aren't fully developed until then. Meeker adds, "No situation is beyond fixable. Don't parent out of fear. If your child is in danger, recruit some help and go after that kid. Let them know you are not going anywhere. Kids who are pursued feel so loved." For more - www.meekerparenting.com FB - @SoloParentSociety INSTA - @SoloParentSociety

Raising our kids on our own is so difficult. With limited resources and time, we can go crazy trying to meet all their needs and keep our kids happy and healthy. So often, we can fall into the trap of overcompensating; because our kids have been through difficult things, we try to make their happiness our top priority. Unfortunately, doing this creates a bottomless well that we can never fill up, leaving us depleted… and not healthy for our kids. So how do we draw appropriate boundaries with our kids that are not only a form of caring for ourselves but also serve their development? Our guest today is an Instagram sensation with over 780,000 followers, Dr. Siggie. She is a counselor who has been working with families for 30 years. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

It can be maddening when we hear things that are said about us that aren't true. Or sometimes a little true but completely exaggerated. What do we do with that? Try to defend ourselves and our reputations or maybe just start to isolate from others? Today we are discussing how to deal with accusations and the frustration that it brings, with host Robert Beeson.

Quality time with our kids is important! But how do we manage it, especially as single parents whose time is already so limited? And, sometimes we feel added pressure to make the time together a big deal. It helps to consider that kids remember the time you spend with them much more than the things you do. A recent study in the Journal of Marriage and Family says the quality of time is much more important than the amount of time parents spend with their children. It isn't about endless hours spent together—it's about how you choose to spend the time that truly matters. So, how do we, as single parents, create quality time moments with our kids when time is one of our rarest commodities? We considered four ways to create quality time with our kids: Rituals: Build quality time into the normal rituals of daily life. Instead of trying to add in more activities, make the ordinary moments count. Routines:  Establish routines that become meaningful ways to show up for your kids while you're in the car, during meals, and at bedtime. Random: Look for opportunities that pop up unexpectedly and make the most of them. Fun memories can come from quality time "on the fly". Responsive: Be aware of the times your kids need you to respond in the moment. Some things can't wait. Stop what you are doing and make your response to them a priority. Here are some suggestions single parents came up with to establish quality time in these areas: Start seeing times with our kids not as a chore but as a privilege Be deliberate about being 'present' in moments Remember your kids don't need "big" moments. Sometimes just being in the same room together for homework, bedtime or watching TV is enough. Do chores together. Make projects a family event. Even loading the dishwasher together can be quality time. Go to where they are and join them in what they are doing. Don't expect them to come to you. Be present in ordinary moments like picking them up and during car time. Stay off your phone when in their presence. Connect face to face with your kids whenever possible. Schedule it and let this be a non-negotiable on your calendar. Find something that can be done every day. Examples: read together at bedtime, make bedtime prayer a routine time together. Eat together with no technology. Create a list of easy activities or experiences you can choose from when the opportunity arises. Examples: Waiting for a sibling to finish an activity, google knock-knock jokes or play "Would You Rather?". Stop by the pet store or humane society to pet the dogs and cats, stop by the playground and play tag or swing for 20 minutes. Throughout your day and week, look for random moments where you can just enjoy being with your children. Have FUN! Be silly. Whether in the rituals and routines of your daily lives or in the random moments that pop up here and there, take every opportunity you can to be responsive to your kids.  If they had a hard day or seem out of sorts, put what you can aside and give them your undivided attention. Even 5-10 minutes can pay off. If they have a question, put your phone down and make eye contact. Demonstrate you are there when they need you. With quality time, especially as single parents, it comes down to being deliberate with what we have and intentionally carving out simple moments to be special. Remember, it's not about quantity, and it doesn't have to be big, it just needs to be authentic and real. Join our community - facebook.com/SoloParentSociety

Our guest, Ian Cron, is an Episcopal priest, a trained psychotherapist, and author and expert on the Enneagram. His book “The Road Back to You” is a key resource for understanding the Enneagram. Ian recently shared how this personality tool can be part of our healing journey. Ian discovered the Enneagram in 1994 through a book written by Richard Rohr from a Christian perspective. The Enneagram started as a spiritual formation tool used by Evagrius Ponticus, a desert father, in the 8th or 9th century. Much later it began being used by Jesuits and then beyond that into more common use. In brief, the Enneagram is a personality theory that identifies nine different types, each of which is characterized by a dominant motivation or need. The Enneagram Types in Summary Type Ones are called perfectionists. They have an unconscious motivation or need to perfect themselves, others, and the world. Type Twos are called helpers. They are motivated by a need to be needed, loved, and appreciated. Type Threes are called performers. They are motivated by a need to succeed, to appear successful, and to avoid failure at all costs. Type Fours are called romantics or individualists. They are motivated by a need to be special and unique. Fours have a perception that they are missing something essential in their core makeup and the only way they can recover it is by projecting an image of specialness or uniqueness or specialness. Type Fives are called investigators. They are motivated by a need to conserve energy, to gather knowledge and information as a way to fend off feelings of inadequacy or ineptitude. Type Sixes are called the loyalists. They are motivated by a need to have safety, security, and support. Type Sevens are called enthusiasts. They are the joy bombs of the Enneagram. They are motivated by a need to avoid painful or distressing feelings by chasing after and planning adventures, escapades, and a future filled with unlimited possibilities. Type Eights are called challengers. They are motivated by a need to assert strength and control over the environment or over others as a way to mask feelings of vulnerability or tenderness in themselves. Type Nines are called the peacemakers, sometimes the sweethearts of the enneagram. They are motivated by a need to preserve inner and outer peace, to avoid conflict at all costs, and to maintain their connection to others. The Enneagram as a Way to Understand Ourselves and Others  We can use the Enneagram as a way to understand ourselves and others better and we can use it as a tool to promote healing. Sometimes people will find out their type and take it no further but it really can be used in a profound way as a powerful spiritual technology designed to help people experience deep personal healing and change. Ian says we aren’t actually our personality type. We aren’t a “one” or a “two”, rather, the word personality is derived from the word “persona” which means mask. Our personality is made up of adaptive strategies, coping mechanisms, early childhood programming, some temperament hardwiring, but for the most part, it is the way we learn as a child to move through the world and get your needs met. Your personality is in large measure a ‘cover story”. The Enneagram reveals to you who you are behind your personality. You are not your personality. You have a personality. There is an original essence that had to adopt a mask to survive but the mask that helps you survive in childhood will kill you in adulthood. If you continue to use those survival strategies, they work against you as an adult. The Enneagram reveals the “imposter” of our personality. When we do the personal work of the Enneagram, we remain the same person who is still motivated by the need of our type but we gain freedom from using those coping strategies in unhealthy ways. Interestingly, notes Cron, each of the nine motivations...

Guests David and Helen Smallbone joined the Solo Parent Society podcast with Robert and Kimberly to talk about the importance of two essential communities for single parents:  Cross-generational community and  Habitual community. These communities are significant. Cross-generational relationships are more than mother-daughter or father-son connections. The Bible is full of stories of the younger generation being mentored and taught by the older generation and we see countless examples of elders passing on wisdom.  Anchoring relationships like these are so important particularly during times of struggle. David and Helen Smallbone moved from Australia to the United States many years ago with no money, with their six kids and another one on the way. God used their most difficult circumstances and seemingly impossible season to build an incredible story and influence around the world. Helen homeschooled all seven of their children while David set out to provide for his family in the music industry. Fast forward to today and David manages his sons’ band, For King & Country, and daughter, Rebecca St. James, both who have had a profound impact on millions of people with their music. But one of the most beautiful things about David and Helen is their commitment to love and care for the brokenhearted. Helen is raising dozens of animals on their farm, while working on a book, mentoring moms, and hosting a podcast for a ministry she leads called MumLife Community which is an incredible example of both cross-generational and habitual community. David meanwhile is a mentor and friend to Robert, and they walk together every week as a beautiful example of consistent community formed on purpose, by habit. For the full show notes, tips and links go to SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book! Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

In a previous episode, we discussed how peace is not simply the absence of difficulties. Yet, when our lives seem to be in complete disarray, with every day feeling like a battle to survive, the concept of peace can seem utterly elusive. So, the pressing question is: How do we discover peace amid the trials of today's world? Join us as we delve into this complex issue, seeking strategies for finding serenity and balance in the midst of life's storms. We'll explore tools for resilience, examine ways to remain grounded, and ultimately learn how to uncover a sense of inner peace, regardless of external circumstances. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything… it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Today is Tuesday, March 17. We are entering uncharted territory here in the US and certainly around the world. The President has declared a State of Emergency in our country, and we all know the complications that has and is presenting. When you are already struggling to get by as a single parent and the country is thrust into emergency, we know it can be scary, and an advanced sense of isolation can set in. So we wanted to gather some insights and tips to help you and your kids cope in this time of unknowns. How do we help our kids? (DETAILS HERE) 1. Do your homework - be the source 2. Let them lead - they are getting lots of info, so ask, "tell me what you have been hearing" through social media, friends. Let them establish what they are ready to hear. 3. Tell age-appropriate truthful answers - be the trusted voice in their life. ie. "I will always tell you the truth." 4. Find the helpers in the situations. Every crisis has them. This helps shape a positive way to look at things. (first responders, doctors, and nurses, our government) 5. Talk about / make things that they can control ( let them dress weirder or choose foods that usually you don't let them eat) 6. Give them places to process emotionally (journaling - talking) 7. Limit exposure to the news 8. MOST IMPORTANT - Manage your own anxiety because they pick up on it. How do we deal with it emotionally? 1. Focus on the Spiritual realm. Spend twice as much time focusing on the truth than on the news. Pick a verse and hold on to (Put it everywhere. Write it out -  make it your screen saver) (33 Great Verses) 2. Remember the faithfulness of God. Single parents are incredibly resilient. Focus on how He has been there for you and continue to rely; He will continue to sustain. There is nothing to fear. 3. Find a sounding board but not your children 4. Exercise * Dealing with anxiety - Deep breathing exercises gets us back to the correct thinking and redistributes blood flow to correct part of the brain - Grounding techniques. Focus on something specific, try this with your kids, say "pick as many things as you can the color red." How do we deal practically? 1. Create a Preparative list - the exercise forces the perspective - It provides direction in the off chance we need it, if we don't have time to think. - List the core things we need (if we can't leave the house for 2-4 weeks) Meds Non-perishable food Water List contacts and numbers in case Let it become a project with our kids 2. Let our kids know the plan Wash hands whenever we come into the house. Hang a sign at the door to remind kids. If we eliminate what comes in, we are better prepared Leave shoes outside 3. Find humor / be silly. Funny movies, games, stories 4. Be the kindness that someone needs 5. Make it quality time (Check out our podcast on this) Join our FB Community for updates and live broadcasts - HERE

Serving in your community can be a powerful way for families to remember they can make a difference. As single parents, we can feel busy and overwhelmed, and our lives may look different now, but we still have something to give.  As we talk about community, Brian Myers, single dad of five kids, pastor, and leader of several non-profits with a heart for outreach shares more. Serving played a huge part in his solo journey. He was already in ministry and serving in the church world when he became a solo parent. His kids were already involved in serving with him from time to time, but God revealed to Brian during that time to have them do even more. Even if there were times the serving came from a sense of duty, obligation, or even some guilt, Brian saw God do something beautiful with it regardless of the motivation.  The benefits of serving as a family allowed Brian to see attributes in each of his kids that were unique to them. He saw their strengths and he saw them change and grow. Where once there may have been selfishness, he saw kindness and selflessness develop. This didn’t happen every time but over time he saw the rewards that came with service and sacrifice and it compelled him to keep finding ways to give to others. And, serving together took their minds off their own circumstances. Being a single dad, Brian saw his kids dealing with life as a solo family. Serving became a way for them to forgot some of their struggles and build compassion for others.  These benefits are why we talk so much about giving back as single parent families. Sometimes, though, our kids don’t see the benefit and push back. Brian shares that his kids were not always on board with serving with him. He would often disguise some of the service as opportunities for fun.  For the full show notes, tips and links go to SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional and download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Holidays bring out unique and challenging situations for Solo parents. Having to interact with old relationships from our past, whether interacting with your ex, ex-in-laws, or stepping into our own family, can sometimes heighten our sense of failure and inadequacy. Or maybe it’s being around healthy relationships that remind us, in this vulnerable season, of what we don’t have. Being home for the holidays can impact our self-worth. So as we go into the holiday season, we might ask if it is even worth spending time with family when it just heightens my anxiety and negative feelings. So how do we cope with those family dynamics, or those dynamics with people from our past, and try to maintain a positive outlook not only for our kids, but also for our well-being? Today we will discuss this and identify five tips to approach this holiday season with strength. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

When our kids struggle with anxiety, we can feel so helpless, unsure of what to do. And anxiety among kids is increasing. Whether due to the pandemic, or for other reasons, anxiety is on the rise in every age group. Stress is at an all-time high.Today we are going to explore ways to help our kids with anxiety with Dr. Chip Dodd, counselor, speaker, mentor, and author of “The Voice of the Heart” and numerous other books centered on emotions and healing. What is anxiety?Dr. Dodd shares that, “Anxiety is a physiological, central nervous system reaction, to thoughts we are having about anticipated disaster. It is always related to future trepidation about something happening that we’re not sure about.” Anxiety leads us to seek something outside of ourselves to control and quell those feelings of uncertainty. Fear, however, is an emotion. Fear tells us we are in danger of something happening that we don’t want to happen. It’s a feeling we’ve been given that allows us to ask for help. When we express a fear vulnerably, it sets us up to be able to prevent the thing we fear and it also provides a place for us to go back to to process what did or didn’t happen. Fear can push us to connection as we seek help whereas anxiety can push us into isolation. Anxiety and fears are both thermostats that can lead us to seek help. Children get anxious about what is happening and about what could happen next. They aren’t sure where the truth is. They are guessing at how to find level ground. Adults are often anxious about what has already happened or what could happen again. Kids are most often anxious about their two biggest fear – not belonging and not mattering. Social media platforms are a huge contributor to these anxieties because they don’t affirm how we’re created. They actually go against it. This is why home base has to be a safeplace where your family can process what is happening below the surface. We need to be able to talk about our spiritual root system – our feelings, needs, longings, desires, and hopes.So often we don’t want our kids to suffer, to have negative thoughts, or to feel bad. We don’t want them to feel anxious so we try to “fix” it but actually feeling their fears isn’t the problem. The problem is denying how they are feeling. It’s a natural response to feel fear in situations we don’t have a sense of empowerment over or where we aren’t in control. Kids are often afraid of the dark because it’s full of unknowns. Yet, kids are willing to go into the dark if they have someone to go with them and to hold their hand. So, children aren’t actually afraid of the dark. They are afraid of being alone in the dark, of being uncared for in the dark, of not being seen or heard in the dark. If a child is allowed to have their feelings and process them, when the parent says, “It’s okay for you to feel afraid”, we are teaching our kids they can be real and not have to fake it or pretend. This allows them to embrace their humanity and not disassociate from it which actually increases anxiety. So, how can we walk with our kids through their anxiety?The number one thing is to acknowledge the difference between anxiety and fear.For complete show notes and links go to - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/03/29/chip-dodd-helping-our-kids-with-anxiety 

When we look at the world around us so much has changed in the last year. With the pandemic and politics, there has been so much anger, grief, and fear. People are hurting and that hurt stirs up discord and division. It’s amplified when so much is out of our control. We all face the temptation to react to the hate around us in ugly ways, but our mandate and calling is to love people like God loves us. On this week’s podcast, former single parents, Robert Beeson, and Kimberley Mitchell, talk together with single mom, Marissa, about how we can maintain love and teach it to our kids in a culture of hate. When one person introduces hate to a conversation or situation, it’s contagious. But love is contagious too. The difference is that hate seems to affect us in the amygdala – where our fight or flight response lives. It catches us off guard and can grab hold of us if we’re not careful. Hate is often a reaction. Quick, thoughtless, visceral. Love on the other hand is an intentional response, a choice, a conscious decision of the will. Love is more powerful than hate but it can be harder to access and display. It takes deliberate effort to love and to avoid the culture of hate. We must choose to love in measured ways that go beyond what might be a knee jerk reaction. We must choose our response carefully. How do we love in a culture of hate? *Pray for people. *Remember that hate is more costly than love because it destroys relationships.*Choose your battles. Some things aren’t worth fighting about. *Listen more than you speak. *Show kindness. For the complete show notes with links go to - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/02/01/love-in-a-culture-of-hate

“My name is Stacy. I’m a single mom of two. I just wanna feel and be content. Especially in the world of social media, I struggle with having to see everyone’s picture perfect life on the screen. Somehow I feel like I got cheated and its hard for me to live in the moment and feel content.” Can you relate? Peace. How do we find it in our world of comparisons and the challenges of being a single parent? Contentment is a pathway to peace… but, that sounds like a tall order. Our team of solo parents met to talk through how we can find peace even when inundated with “highlight reels” on social media and the constant pursuit of more and better. Sometimes our fear and loneliness fuels our discontent and discontentment destroys our peace. We hear that comparison is the thief of joy. It’s hard to go anywhere without feeling like you’re not good enough or don’t have enough, particularly when you feel like your family doesn’t fit the norm. After the upheaval that led to becoming a single parent, our hurts can lead to feelings of being less than. Single parents know this reality. In our solo parent discussion, we found three practical ways to help unlock the secrets to finding peace even during hardship. Mindset Perspective Humility GET THE COMPLETE SHOW NOTES AND LINKS HERE - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/06/08/finding-peace-through-contentment/

Does it seem sometimes that there is a tape that replays in your mind, over and over, reminding you of something you are not proud of. Maybe it was something you said to, or in front of, your kids, a regretful, out of character action, or maybe it was a moral failure that haunts you. We know it's not healthy to carry shame but it feels harder to forgive ourselves and move on. Today, from personal experience, hosts Robert Beeson and Marissa Lee discuss how to move in the direction of forgiving ourselves.

As a single parent, sometimes we can feel like there’s a wall between us and God because we believe we’ve failed and are a disappointment, so we see ourselves as unworthy. For some of us that have lost our spouse to death we may feel angry for God letting this happen. These things can lead to comparing ourselves to other people that seem to have it all together spiritually or otherwise. Here is the good news, knowing God’s love can actually be more intimate during this solo season than in any other season, and it is the basis for everything we try to be about at Solo Parent Society. Here are the 3 areas of focus that we employ at SPS that help us encounter God’s love. Confession Confession is expressing the good and bad - The doubts and praise. Ultimately it is about expressing with our mouths (or writing it down) our completely transparent and honest feelings. A few questions that might be helpful: How do you feel when you think about coming into God’s presence? What do you think he may be disappointed in? Proud of? If you were to name a feeling that my be creating a wall what would that feeling be? The goal is to authentically be known in our most intimate state by God and at least one person and/ or a journal. Absolutes This is where we search out truth about what we have confessed. This could be as simple as a google search - “What does the bible say about anger/shame/doubt/ fear?” This step must take place AFTER we have transparently confessed what might be causing a wall between us and God. Whatever the wall is search scriptures about what God says about that. Study what God promises to take care of and find evidence of His faithfulness in our lives. Write those promises down and post them on the wall - Example Isaiah 54:4-5. Acceptance Taking what we have uncovered in our heart - Confession - and what we discover in our head - Absolutes - now we need to incorporate into a life style. One way is a remembering exercise. Step 1. Remember Practice remembrance by taking the time to list all of the ways God has worked in your life. Here are some helpful categories to write out some experiences: Childhood Teen years (middle and high school) Early adulthood (18-25 years old) Adulthood (25+ age) Other areas like in motherhood/fatherhood, marriage, etc. Step 2. Recognition Practice recognizing all the small ways God works in your life every day. This is a daily practice of gratitude. For example, each day write down three things for which you are grateful. Try to not repeat yourself. Write down new things or new ways to express gratitude even about a recurring blessing. You will likely have to get creative, which can cause you to be more aware of where and how God is at work in your life. Step 3. Repetition Continually repeat these practices. This isn't a one-and-done. Go back to your lists and add to them. Ask God to reveal the ways He is at work around you so you don’t miss anything. Our busy lives can often distract us from what is most important. The old adage “Count your blessings” may seem trite or cheesy, but in the Solo season, this attitude can be strategic in your growth and healing. God’s Love is personal and intimate. The obstacles or disappointments we believe create a wall between us and God are often the very things that create an opportunity to discover a more intimate relationship with Him. God doesn’t love me for what I do for Him, He just loves me, even when I do nothing at all… that is wild, wild stuff! Join our community Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety 

The person who once was your closest friend may now be a familial foe with whom you must learn to co-parent. For the sake of our kids, we want to co-parent well. Kimberly Best, a professional conflict mediator, shows us ways to find solutions no matter the source of conflict. https://www.bestconflictsolutions.com

27. GOD WITH US by Solo Parent Society

Divorce changes life for our kids in profound ways. Their community is disrupted as they adjust to their parents living separately, going between two homes, and experiencing a new normal. During times of change, kids need community more than ever before. We need to be very intentional with who our kids are hanging out with and who has influence in their lives and how they are using their time. As kids grow up and become teenagers, they stop looking at their parents as the center of their universe. Their peers become more important to them and the voices of other young people around them speak the loudest. Whether you became a single parent through divorce or loss of a partner or for another reason, community can look different for our kids.  Today we look at three ways to help our kids cultivate community, for the complete show notes and resources click here- https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/07/21/cultivating-our-kids-community/

As a single parent, sometimes we can feel like there's a wall between us and God because we believe we've failed and are a disappointment, so we see ourselves as unworthy. For some of us that have lost our spouse to death we may feel angry for God letting this happen. These things can lead to comparing ourselves to other people that seem to have it all together spiritually or otherwise. Here is the good news, knowing God's love can actually be more intimate during this solo season than in any other season, and it is the basis for everything we try to be about at Solo Parent Society. Here are the 3 areas of focus that we employ at SPS that help us encounter God's love. Confession Confession is expressing the good and bad - The doubts and praise. Ultimately it is about expressing with our mouths (or writing it down) our completely transparent and honest feelings. A few questions that might be helpful: How do you feel when you think about coming into God's presence? What do you think he may be disappointed in? Proud of? If you were to name a feeling that my be creating a wall what would that feeling be? The goal is to authentically be known in our most intimate state by God and at least one person and/ or a journal. Absolutes This is where we search out truth about what we have confessed. This could be as simple as a google search - "What does the bible say about anger/shame/doubt/ fear?" This step must take place AFTER we have transparently confessed what might be causing a wall between us and God. Whatever the wall is search scriptures about what God says about that. Study what God promises to take care of and find evidence of His faithfulness in our lives. Write those promises down and post them on the wall - Example Isaiah 54:4-5. Acceptance Taking what we have uncovered in our heart - Confession - and what we discover in our head - Absolutes - now we need to incorporate into a life style. One way is a remembering exercise. Step 1. Remember Practice remembrance by taking the time to list all of the ways God has worked in your life. Here are some helpful categories to write out some experiences: Childhood Teen years (middle and high school) Early adulthood (18-25 years old) Adulthood (25+ age) Other areas like in motherhood/fatherhood, marriage, etc. Step 2. Recognition Practice recognizing all the small ways God works in your life every day. This is a daily practice of gratitude. For example, each day write down three things for which you are grateful. Try to not repeat yourself. Write down new things or new ways to express gratitude even about a recurring blessing. You will likely have to get creative, which can cause you to be more aware of where and how God is at work in your life. Step 3. Repetition Continually repeat these practices. This isn't a one-and-done. Go back to your lists and add to them. Ask God to reveal the ways He is at work around you so you don't miss anything. Our busy lives can often distract us from what is most important. The old adage "Count your blessings" may seem trite or cheesy, but in the Solo season, this attitude can be strategic in your growth and healing. God's Love is personal and intimate. The obstacles or disappointments we believe create a wall between us and God are often the very things that create an opportunity to discover a more intimate relationship with Him. God doesn't love me for what I do for Him, He just loves me, even when I do nothing at all... that is wild, wild stuff! Join our community Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety

We’ve talked a lot about adult relationships this month, so we wanted to spend some time today discussing how to help our kids in their relationships. Our kids have many relationships to navigate, too–friendships, teachers, coaches, and of course, their other parents. How can we help them navigate without interfering? Today we’re going to cover three main points:  The best place to start, no matter how old your kids are.  Helping them navigate the drama. The most powerful thing you can do to help your kids with difficult relationships. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

For many of us, Christmas has always been something that we look forward to—especially being parents. But being a single parent, after going through a divorce, never having been married, or after losing a spouse to death, holidays can open up wounds that we may never have even thought were there. So, we want to spend some time this month focusing on those wounds and trying to re-orient ourselves back to the meaning and intent of the season. To try to make it the most meaningful experience we can. As difficult as the seasons can be for us, they can be very confusing and challenging for kids, so how can we make the most of this Christmas season, both for ourselves and our kids. This month as we talk about holidays and Christmas, we take time to focus on Advent. As we know, it is broken into four traditions, Hope, Love, Joy, and Peace. ADVENT, by definition a time of ‘expectant waiting’ - which doesn’t sound fun - nobody likes to wait… But there can be hope, even found in waiting. So today, we focus on the second tradition - LOVE - and our special guest is Carlos Whittaker. Carlos is a People’s Choice Award winner, a former recording artist, a social media maven, and currently spends the majority of his time writing books and speaking on stages around the world. It really began when the Whittaker’s found their family in America’s spotlight with appearances on shows like CBS Early Morning, The Today Show and more when their viral video “Single Ladies Devastation” went viral. But for Carlos, his wife Heather and their three children, this viral moment was just a snapshot of the bigger picture. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Mental health has become so much a part of our culture’s narrative these days. As single parents, we certainly are acquainted with feeling traumatized, scattered, and overwhelmed. When we think about our mental health, we are often in a hurry to try to fix a condition, but the core issue is often deeper. We have spent most of our lives abandoning ourselves to keep connected. We were meeting others' expectations and not speaking up for our own wants and needs. If we’re honest with ourselves as we look back, we notice that we have spent most of our lives performing and playing roles and have become out of touch with our own true selves. When we don’t have a good relationship with ourselves and our worth, it can lead to depression, co-dependency, and anxiety because we have lost the true understanding of who we are. So today, we are going to explore what it would look like not to run to change or fix mental health symptoms but instead get to one of the core issues of mental health, and that is our sense of worth, and we have three helpful key points. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accesmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

Finding peace while we are in the middle of the pain can seem impossible but when we get in touch with the gift of our whole heart we also find peace.  Chip Dodd, counselor, mentor, speaker and best-selling author, shares how embracing our emotions leads to wholeness and peace. In his book, “Voice of the Heart”, he invites us to begin to know our hearts better so we can know ourselves and from that place, live more fully in relationship to God and others. Chip says a broken heart is a heart that needs something, it’s a heart that needs healing and rebuilding. When we bring our broken hearts to God, He promises to bind them together again. He wraps his love around the broken places and bring healing, peace and wholeness. For the complete show notes with links and resources click - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/06/16/peace-and-the-gift-of-our-emotions-whole-heart/

Life as a single parent can often feel like we are just maintaining safety and stability with little intentional vision or direction for our family. In the solo parent season, we can feel like we are just barely hanging on. Being intentional can seem like a lofty goal when you’re holding on by a thread, just praying and asking God for His grace to get us through as we raise these tiny humans.Directing the course of our family as a single parent can feel daunting. We end up paying attention and reacting to the urgent things that come up while neglecting what’s important – creating stability and direction for our family in the new normal. Sometimes all we can do is hold on but, as we journey down the solo parent path, it’s important to be deliberate in our steps. To start effective parenting, we need a road map, a vision, or a mission statement to keep us focused on what is important to our family.How do you measure success?George Barna, leading researcher, and author, asked Robert, “How do you measure success?” He went on to explain that he asked because you get what you measure. Unless you know and identify where you want to go, you are never going to get there. A friend of Kim’s whose husband was battling cancer shared, “Life is a vapor. Evaluate and measure carefully.” We need to be intentional about our investment in our family. We need to have a definition of where we want to go and what we stand for as a family. Unless we have a direction that we want to take our family, we can’t and won’t get there.Ann Voskamp talks about developing her own “family manifesto” that emphasizes the values and priorities that are important to her and to her family. Solo parent families can do the same thing. Creating a “Solo Family Mission Statement” doesn’t have to be overwhelming. A mission statement is defined as “a formal summary of the aims and values of a company, organization, or individual”. We can keep it simple and fun.To read more and to down load a free tool to create your own Solo Family Mission Statement, click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/03/01/how-to-create-a-solo-family-mission-statement 

In this episode, we will discover practical strategies for making healthy eating a sustainable habit for the whole family. The topic of childhood (and family) nutrition is tackled by our special guest Jill Castle, a renowned pediatric dietitian, author, and speaker with years of experience educating parents on this subject. Many Solos face the dilemma of getting their kids to eat healthily, but with limited time and resources, consistently providing the necessary nutrition can be a challenge. We will address this issue and offer practical tips on making healthy eating a sustainable habit for the entire family. We will also learn how to avoid the guilt and shame that often comes with resorting to fast food when life gets busy. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org For more info and resources on our guest visit jillcastle.com —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID "When I Talk to God, I Talk About You" is available now at PenguinRandomHouse.com

Being a single parent seems that all we do is wait. Wait for child support checks, wait for lawyers to get back to us, wait for hurt to lose its crippling grip. We feel lonely and can't wait to feel normal again. Like it or not, it seems like life is a waiting game that we can’t wait to get past. We hear that good things ‘apparently’ come to those who wait - but what does that even mean? Most of us are beyond ready for things to not feel so broken. On this episode, we discuss - What’s worth waiting for. (Spoiler alert, this is not just waiting for a new mate.) For the detailed show notes, tips and links at SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

For single parents, the word love or the concept of love can bring conflicting beliefs. We have all felt love…a kind of love that we were so sure of that we committed our lives to another person we loved completely. When those hopes get dashed, it can leave us with a misinformed sense or even a fear of love. As we look back on our lives, we have seen our share of poor examples of what love is. Love within normal human limits can look more like codependency, people-pleasing, self-serving, and sometimes even untrue. God puts a serious premium on love being above all else on earth, so what does real love look like, and how can we be better at it? For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID "When I Talk to God, I Talk About You" is available now at PenguinRandomHouse.com

Social media is here to stay. While we can be grateful for the connection it creates to our memories and friends from the past, it can be the source of serious discontentment, comparing ourselves to others seemingly perfect intact families (especial with the upcoming holidays), others bodies, career, even our own highlight reels of the way things used to be. Comparison erodes our sense of self-worth. So what can we do to step out of the comparison trap? Today, we discuss what this looks like and some tips for moving in that direction.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links at SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

In this episode, we delve into the complex topic of renewing our minds and the role that false beliefs play in shaping our thoughts and actions. Often, we may not even be aware of these beliefs, as they are influenced by our experiences, circumstances, personalities, and various other factors. Despite not being fully in control of what we think and believe, the process of renewing our minds can lead to profound personal transformation. Drawing from psychological insights and biblical teachings, we explore practical strategies for identifying and confronting false beliefs, ultimately paving the way for mental and spiritual renewal. Gain a deeper understanding of the power of your thoughts and beliefs, and learn how to embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth by renewing your mind. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As single parents, we have minimal time, and often the last thing we spend that time on are things that we use to prioritize.  God wants us to take care of ourselves physically, and that means more than just health. It is about priorities and balance. There are so many critical things at the top of our list of priorities that simple things like shaving our legs, eating well, or dressing well can move to the bottom of the list.   For who?  For what?  There are so many important things to do; if we're honest with ourselves… we often 'let ourselves go'.? Conversely, some of us may spend more time focusing on our body and appearance than while we were married.  Maybe hoping to catch the eye of a potential suitor? Either way, in this episode we are focusing on investing in ourselves, for the sake of ourselves… not for anybody else. (other than God… who already thinks we are pretty awesome!) For the detailed show notes, tips and links go to SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

One of the things that plague us, single parents, the most is thinking about the future welfare of our kids. It’s one thing for us to struggle and deal with hard things; it’s an entirely different and heart-wrenching thing to worry about our kids, what happens to them, and their future. So many of our kids have seen relationships go very wrong, even a certain amount of volatility. Many of them internalize what they saw and blame themselves. Some of our kids have experienced the untimely death of one of their parents. In any case, our kids have been subject to traumatic life events, which, as we all know, can negatively impact their future. So how do we best set up our kids to have the courage and confidence to face their own relationships, their own opportunities, their own challenges… if we as parents may not feel confident ourselves? Today we hear some stories about how confidence and courage was built into a little boy raised by a single mom in North Carolina who went on to have a culture-shifting impact on this world. Our guest is George Shinn, who's dad died when he was eight, and he was raised by a single mom on welfare checks and hand-me-down clothes. He struggled in school and was the last person anyone thought would find success in this life. In fact, he finished dead last in his graduating class in high school. He went on to work in a textile mill, a car wash, and as a school janitor. He later attended Evans Business College in North Carolina while working with real estate and at car dealerships. Upon graduating, he raised enough money to buy the school and even other small colleges and consolidate them all under an umbrella Education System. He eventually sold the schools and bought an NBA basketball team, Charlotte Hornets, with the proceeds. He then went on to start the George Shinn foundation, which offers the love of Christ and the hope of the Gospel to hurting people. All of this against-all-odds story is rooted in a single mom's care.  For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click  Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Forgiveness is freedom and we want our kids to understand that too. So many times as single parents we can be so overwhelmed processing our own stuff that we can, understandably, overlook teaching and guiding our kids through important life lessons that we are learning ourselves. This is a perfect time to be passing down wisdom, but it’s hard to do that when talking about forgiveness, because in doing that we have to address the offending issue - and sometimes that is our ex. So how do we teach our kids the value and the steps of forgiveness without creating more division and opening up wounds Today we are going to focus on a few principles to effectively teach our kids the value and how to forgive. 1. Create a safe environment 2. Highlight the benefit 3. Teach the method 4. Model what it looks like For the complete show notes and links click here https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/09/22/1963/

Fathers Day can be painful for single parents. For mom's, it is a reminder of a failed or lost relationship, a loss of what could have been. For fathers, it can remind of how disconnected we are, if we are not with our children every day. Dads, despite how little or how much time you spend with your kids, never underestimate the power your influence has on them - keep being fully present. They need you! In the episode, we will focus our attention on the single moms, and discuss 3 ways to make this a meaningful father's day. Mom or dad, Happy Fathers Day!

Daily, we grapple with many external influences impacting our homes and daily lives. Let's face it, life often feels chaotic, and naturally, our homes can reflect this craziness. Yet, we all yearn for our homes to be sanctuaries of peace, especially for our children. But how can we achieve this amidst the instability that our children and we face? Join us as we delve into this dilemma, seeking strategies to cultivate a peaceful home environment despite the turmoil outside its walls. We'll explore 11 ways to foster resilience in our children and ourselves, how to manage chaos effectively, and most importantly, how to transform our homes into a refuge of tranquility and safety. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything… it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

40. CHRISTIAN PARENTING PRINCIPLES - ROBERT NOLAND by Solo Parent Society

Parenting alone is so hard. But when our kids are all different - with different temperaments, personalities, struggles, behavior traits — it is hard to know how to guide them effectively and, at the same time, how to be OUR best for them - uniquely and individually. Fortunately, we have a special guest with us today who knows a little something about the variety pack when it comes to family and kids.  If you are familiar with Christian music at all in some way or another, her incredible parenting skills have impacted you. Helen Smallbone is mother to Joel and Luke of For King and Country, and daughter Rebecca St. James. She hosts an incredible podcast on Access More called MUM LIFE Community; she has raised and homeschooled a total of 7 kids. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

In today's episode, we're thrilled to welcome back one of our favorite recurring guests and influential contributors to Solo Parent, Dr. Chip Dodd. As a best-selling author, his book "Voice of the Heart" serves as a foundational tool for many of the topics we explore on our show. With over 30 years of experience, Chip has dedicated his life to helping others through his roles as a counselor, mentor, speaker, and author. In our discussion, we delve into what confidence in God looks like, particularly for solo parents. We acknowledge that it's not uncommon for individuals to experience moments of doubt in God's character, especially during trying times. As humans with limited understanding, we may struggle to maintain our faith in God's goodness when faced with adversity or unexpected challenges. This episode aims to provide insight and support to those navigating their spiritual journey, offering guidance on how to maintain confidence in God's love and care, even in difficult circumstances. Dr. Chip Dodd discusses how to cultivate and sustain our confidence in God regardless of the obstacles we face. For all the detailed show notes, tips, and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything… it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As single parents, it’s hard to have a sense of stability especially when things seem to be always moving and shifting. We know how important stability is for our kids but when there are so many things out of our control, how do we find stability when nothing seems stable. Elizabeth joins Robert and Kimberley to talk about this very thing as her life is full of all kinds of change right now. She just recently walked away from a full-time job that she enjoyed. It paid well, she was doing well there, it was stable, and she had been there a long time, but God called her out of that role. She is now starting her own business, which is very new, different, and scary. She’s never done anything like this before and she’s a single mom. With all the change, there are many anxious moments, but Elizabeth has found a sense of stability that those around her can see. First and foremost, God has brought her through all of this. She has clung closely to God for the last six months in a way she never did before. She sees she can’t do this without God. Her prayer has changed from “What do you have for me. Lord? Show me the big picture as long as it fits in this little box” to “God, just show me the next step. Illuminate the next step and I will be obedient to walk with You in it”. Elizabeth was driving recently, when she got this overwhelming sense of “Abba, Father”, an awareness that God is her caretaker. His plans for her are good. When she rests in that, she doesn’t have to be worried or afraid. She can rest knowing that God will take care of her. Feeling a sense of stability while handling all the change in her life comes from a great deal of faith, obedience, and being okay being uncomfortable. Another thing that helps create stability during change is finding anchors that hold us steady and in place. This can be routine, something that is familiar and predictable. For the complete show notes click https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/04/19/how-to-find-stability-when-nothing-is-stable 

Starting a new year can be a real mixed bag for single parents. On the one hand, it’s nice to kind of push the ‘reset’ button on a brand new year and to feel like you have somewhat of a clean slate. But, on the other hand, it’s hard to believe that things will be different.  New Year’s resolutions seem trite and overused. We all want to move forward and build a better life, but it isn’t easy without a clear vision or roadmap.  ?Fortunately for us today, we have a special guest to help us create a simple, clear vision and roadmap for a better year. Our guest is Michael Hyatt, founder, and chairman of Michael Hyatt & Company. He is also the author of several New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling books, including Living Forward, Your Best Year Ever, Free to Focus, and his newest book Win at Work & Succeed at Life. He lives in Franklin, TN, with his wife of 40+ years; he has five daughters and nine grandchildren. For the detailed show notes, tips and links, visity SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Do you ever find yourself at a loss for how to handle something or what to say? Sometimes it seems that in spite of us wrestling in our minds with finding the right approach to life, we come short. Today host Robert Beeson discusses a practical and reliable solution for when we find ourselves 'over our heads'.

What do we do when we find our lives in a situation we never wished for or wanted? Betrayal, illness, death, our kids experiencing pain - or maybe we are the ones who have betrayed or caused hurt to others. When the reality we face is less than optimal, sometimes downright uncomfortable and challenging, our natural tendency is to fight and try to change things, which is not necessarily bad. But sometimes those painful things can't be changed, or we can’t control them. In those cases, what is my responsibility and what is not? The serenity prayer says, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change." COURAGE to change the things I can… So today, we are flipping that a bit and asking - how do I have the COURAGE to face the things I cannot change in order to find serenity. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

In general, we all know that the Bible talks a lot about forgiveness and our need to forgive. As Solo Parent Christians who have been hurt, this can be easier said than done. Is there more to the idea of forgiveness than just doing it because God says we should? Is it possible that there is a foundational mystery to the practice of forgiveness that unlocks our own potential, not only as Christians but also as individuals?  Many know Brian Hardin as the vision and voice of the Daily Audio Bible, with over 20 million downloads a year. He is an ordained minister, an accomplished record producer with more than 100 albums to his credit, a best-selling author - including his latest project, The OneYear Adventure With The God Of Your Story.  Not everyone knows that Brian himself spent time as a Solo dad raising his kids on his own. In today's episode, Brian walks us through Why Forgiveness? A Biblical Perspective. Detailed show notes, tips and links. For more on Brian and Daily Audio Bible Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As our kids get older, disrespectful attitudes develop. Sometimes we wonder, who are you... what have you done with my little boy/girl? When we know how much we do for our kids, it's hard to not want to express that when we are faced with ungrateful or hostile words from them. Maybe there is more going on that what they are saying... Today we discuss how their words of disrespect may actually be compliments. With host Robert Beeson.

In today's episode, we discuss the importance of tending to our bodies in a way that goes beyond the traditional focus on exercise. As physical beings, our minds, bodies, and spirits are deeply interconnected, yet we often neglect to consider the impact of daily life on our physical selves. Join us as we explore how to cultivate greater awareness and understanding of our physical nature and discuss practical strategies for nurturing our bodies in a holistic and balanced manner. Gain insights on how to care for your body, not just through exercise, but by embracing a comprehensive approach that supports your overall well-being and personal growth. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Kathie Lee Gifford is a shining example of love and grace, but her growth didn’t come easily. She has known hard times. She shares how she brings everything to God with honesty, telling Him when she’s angry or crushed, when she doesn’t feel close to Him, or even feels betrayed by Him, “Because He can take that kind of honesty. He’s made for it.”, she says.  One of her favorite stories of hardship is the story of Hagar, a single mom who ends up alone in the desert, heartbroken, and feeling invisible. God meets he her there and she calls Him “El Roi, the God Who Sees Me”. Kathie Lee collaborated with Nicole C. Mullens to write a song called, “The God Who Sees.” Kathie Lee reiterates that the same Gd who saw Hagar sees us five thousand years later too. That’s the amazing beauty of the scriptures and the song celebrates the story of Hagar, Ruth, David, and Mary Magdalene. God met each one where they were with love and provision.   Kathie Lee shares that after encountering God, Mary Magdalene and the other women were filled with courage, enough to want to risk the consequences of going to anoint the body of Jesus after his death. These female believers were filled with “hutzpah” which means “bold courage”. Women in that time were looked down on in their culture. They were seen as less than but when God saw them, they became emboldened and strong in spite of their low societal status. This position is similar to single parents who often feel less than and overlooked too. Yet, when God enters our lives and demonstrates His love for us, we, too, can become full of courage.  Kathie Lee shares that people don’t like to talk about it, but the Bible never shies away from sin. For complete show notes click here .

31. OBSESSION - THE SECRET TO WHOLENESS by Solo Parent Society

22. SELF ESTEEM by Solo Parent Society

In today's episode, we tackle the topic of confidence when facing rejection. Rejection is an all-too-familiar feeling for many of us, and it can cause significant emotional pain. Divorce, in particular, represents an acute form of rejection, which can lead to deep wounds and even social isolation. The pain may intensify when an ex-partner finds someone new or remarries. We explore the impact of rejection on our self-esteem and discuss strategies for overcoming the negative effects of feeling unchosen. By examining our thought processes and understanding why rejection hurts so much, we can begin to move forward and rebuild our confidence. For all the detailed show notes, tips, and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything… it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As single parents, we can feel stuck in the past hurt we have encountered. Many of us feel stuck replaying the mistakes we’ve made, and some don’t like thinking about our past because it can be too painful or shame us. We know that to move forward we need to deal with some of the things that have happened to us... or maybe even the challenges created by us, in our past... but how exactly do we do that? Are there practical steps we can take to avoid repeating some of the same patterns?  This week we have a special guest with us today, Emotional and Spiritual wellness coach Jeromy Deibler to talk about All Things New: The Way Forward. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org To be notified when our ‘The way forward’ course is being offered with Jeromy Deibler, email info@SoloParent.org and give us your name and put ‘INTERESTED IN THE WAY FORWARD COURSE’ in the subject line. To get more information on Jeromy and his work visit www.returnandrest.org ASK US ANYTHING! Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

So many of us could accurately state, “I thought I knew them…” We have all been hurt; we’ve all been betrayed in some way, shape, or form. As we move through a Solo Parent life in this modern age, it’s hard to know who to trust. Some people present really well and even act like they’re here to help and protect… but sometimes, it turns out, there were different motivations or deeper issues that don’t show in the beginning. So how do we recognize safe people after experiencing hurt, rejection and abandonment? We can become so full of fear relationally that we end up feeling like just giving up, OR we lower our standards to the extent that we continue making destructive decisions. So today, we are going to discuss Who Should We Trust? For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

With all the demands of raising kids on our own with less than optimal resources, money and time it is VERY easy to become mentally overwhelmed. To work towards emotional / mental balance it is important to identify two categories to focus on. * Things we have control over  * Things we don't have control over When we face unpleasant situations it is natural to react with anger, worry, fear, anxiety etc. Finding emotional balance helps us to attain flexibility and promotes stabilization between our mind and body. In other words, emotional balance teaches us how to respond to negative emotions and thoughts without just getting stuck in them. The most important component to mental or emotional health we have complete control over - our perspective. Defining the correct perspective dictates our quality of life and is the root what we model for our kids, of how we communicate and experience every encounter and thought It starts and ends with this - God is in control - nothing has caught him off guard. We are constantly surprised - He is never. And He can be trusted with wellbeing and our ability to face anything we are facing. That being, there are things we can do that will bring balance to our emotional / mental state. First, let's identify things that we do have control over. They might be mundane things like - feeding the kids, being fully present, showing up to work, how I speak to my ex , finding community, pausing / meditation and then there are the more internal things like choosing the right perspective, being grateful, giving ourselves grace or pursuing humor. A recent healthline article offers some different approaches."The less-dominant side of your brain is the area that controls feelings of self-confidence and optimism. When you think about something other than your daily worries, you increase activity in the neural structures of that area of your brain. Reading - Beyond the mechanics, reading helps you visualize the subject matter on the pages before you, and imagine what voices sound like in the written dialogue. it can stoke the imagination and ignite so many different parts of the brain. Be positive with yourself Positive affirmation is one avenue to increased mental proficiency. Play games - Games that test reasoning and other portions of your brain are fun ways to keep your mind sharp. (Even video games)" Now let's tackle the harder side of mental balance - things we have no control over: That might be our ex's behavior, the complexities of day to day, unexpected issues - kids being sick, people's perception of what caused the divorce or how we are parenting. Here is what Psychology Today says this about facing things beyond our control. "When you find yourself worrying, take a minute to examine the things you have control over. You can't prevent a storm from coming, but you can prepare for it. You can't control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react. Recognize that, sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you'll be much more effective." We have found these questions helpful. When facing things that we may have little or NO control over ask yourself: What am I actually feeling? anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, or surprise What can I learn? Prayer - God, what are you teaching me? Whats the next right thing / response? What am I grateful for? Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety

With all the demands of raising kids on our own with less than optimal resources, money and time it is VERY easy to become mentally overwhelmed. To work towards emotional / mental balance it is important to identify two categories to focus on. • Things we have control over • Things we don’t have control over When we face unpleasant situations it is natural to react with anger, worry, fear, anxiety etc. Finding emotional balance helps us to attain flexibility and promotes stabilization between our mind and body. In other words, emotional balance teaches us how to respond to negative emotions and thoughts without just getting stuck in them. The most important component to mental or emotional health we have complete control over - our perspective. Defining the correct perspective dictates our quality of life and is the root what we model for our kids, of how we communicate and experience every encounter and thought It starts and ends with this - God is in control - nothing has caught him off guard. We are constantly surprised - He is never. And He can be trusted with wellbeing and our ability to face anything we are facing. That being, there are things we can do that will bring balance to our emotional / mental state. First, let’s identify things that we do have control over. They might be mundane things like - feeding the kids, being fully present, showing up to work, how I speak to my ex , finding community, pausing / meditation and then there are the more internal things like choosing the right perspective, being grateful, giving ourselves grace or pursuing humor. A recent healthline article offers some different approaches.“The less-dominant side of your brain is the area that controls feelings of self-confidence and optimism. When you think about something other than your daily worries, you increase activity in the neural structures of that area of your brain. Reading - Beyond the mechanics, reading helps you visualize the subject matter on the pages before you, and imagine what voices sound like in the written dialogue. it can stoke the imagination and ignite so many different parts of the brain. Be positive with yourself Positive affirmation is one avenue to increased mental proficiency. Play games - Games that test reasoning and other portions of your brain are fun ways to keep your mind sharp. (Even video games)” Now let's tackle the harder side of mental balance - things we have no control over: That might be our ex’s behavior, the complexities of day to day, unexpected issues - kids being sick, people's perception of what caused the divorce or how we are parenting. Here is what Psychology Today says this about facing things beyond our control. “When you find yourself worrying, take a minute to examine the things you have control over. You can't prevent a storm from coming, but you can prepare for it. You can't control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react. Recognize that, sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you'll be much more effective.” We have found these questions helpful. When facing things that we may have little or NO control over ask yourself: What am I actually feeling? anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, or surprise What can I learn? Prayer - God, what are you teaching me? Whats the next right thing / response? What am I grateful for? Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety 

What is love and how do we teach it to our kids?We don't all start with a healthy concept of love. We often enter relationships with strong feelings and confidence, but we may not truly understand what love looks like and requires. Even when we have excellent examples of love from our parents, from God, and our childhood experiences, we still may not transfer that awareness into marriage or significant relationships. Robert and Kimberley both share that despite opportunities to know what love looked like growing up, they still entered marriage with few actual skills to develop, maintain, and grow in healthy love with their spouses. Robert said he only started to understand what genuine love was about when the "bottom dropped out" for him and his marriage fell apart. Kimberley questions if she had a genuine grasp on God's deep love for her or how that could translate to loving anyone else. Sometimes it takes a crossroads or significant event to wake us up and help us realize that we really don't know how to love well – whether ourselves or another person. Becoming parents and adding kids to the mix makes it even more complex and more important. How do we teach our kids what love really is, and how to love themselves and others well, when we may be wrestling with that as parents? Paul Colman, single dad, former teacher, and Grammy-nominated artist joins Robert and Kimberley to talk about this further. We can't teach what we don't know. We may have head knowledge about love but until we have an experiential understanding of love, it will be very difficult to pass that lesson on to our kids. To really experience love, we must get to the end of ourselves and admit our needs. This requires us to pause, to make time to connect with that place inside of us that desperately needs the light to be switched on. How do we pass along this experience to our kids? We can only give from our own experience. Paul shares that as he began to accept God's love for him, bit by bit, he began to be a better conduit of that with his kids. When God reached out to him and showed him how much He loved him, Paul had nowhere else to go. Robert shared that this moment for him came when he became exhausted and when he had exhausted his pretense. He had run out of any ability to prop himself up or figure things out and this led him to surrender. Paul faced a similar moment and ever since he's been "trending in the right direction". Transparency and humility makes the differenceFor the complete show notes click - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/02/15/what-is-love-teaching-our-kids

How do you let go of things that are done to you or said against you? Divorce, by design, brings out allegations (true or false)against you. Not to mention the damage that has been done leading up to divorce. This is not easy! Today hosts Robert Beeson and Marissa Lee discuss the importance of letting go and the process of forgiveness.

Single parents can face a lot of chaos at home with their kids. Whether with siblings fighting, the struggle to maintain routine, or trying to calm the troops when everyone is tired or hungry, some days can feel like a pressure cooker. Our fuses can get short and our attitudes can escalate. What can we do, as single parents, to cultivate more peace at home, for ourselves and our kids? We all want a peaceful environment at home but that can be difficult to create and to maintain while juggling so many things. We want our kids to have a sense of normalcy even with the messiness of being parented alone for anyone reason. As parents, it is up to us to take responsibility for cultivating peace at home. We set the mood with our kids. For the full show notes, tips and links click - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/06/10/cultivating-peace-at-home To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click - https://soloparentsociety.com/welcome-toolkit Join our daily meditational devotional - https://bit.ly/SoundMindSet Download our free app - APPLE - https://apple.co/3fKOd6F ANDROID - https://bit.ly/2TvjtOs

Is Christmas the most wonderful time of the year? Really? For many of us solos, it is often one of the most challenging times of the year, if we’re honest. When we first got married, we imagined a beautiful life, an ideal marriage, and perfect holidays. Especially after our kids were born, Christmas took on a new magical meaning. But now all of that is behind us, and our life looks very different. When we get into the holidays, we can be consumed with questions of what if… What if I could’ve kept the marriage together? What if I had a partner now? Sometimes we can even romanticize the memories of what we used to have. The Christmas season brings the hopes and dreams we used to have, back to the surface. When we see all the Christmas ads, and hear the Christmas music, undoubtedly, from time to time, some of those memories pop up, bringing with it a certain ache inside. We do our best to create the magic of Christmas for our kids but for many of us, if we are honest, we are faking it. So it begs the question, what is so wonderful about life? In this episode, we explore this. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional  Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

"But in the end, what leaves you broken?, makes you better" - PLUMB

33. IT'S NOT OUR JOB by Solo Parent Society

Most parents are focused on creating a stable environment for their kids. But as solo parents, that is a very challenging proposition. To start with, if you have children from divorce, they have already seen some volatility relationally and more than likely a significant back-and-forth between parents emotionally and physically. If your child has lost a parent to death, the trauma they have experienced can create a substantial crack in the foundation of our home. Finally, if your child is from an unplanned pregnancy, from day one, it has been a one-person show that has always been intended for two. So the question is, how do we create stability in a situation that is not stable? How do we take advantage of adversity so that it helps them and not hinders them? Today we explore a few simple tactics for creating a stable home for our kids.  Click for detailed show notes, tips and links. Click to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

Parenting alone can feel overwhelming especially with strong-willed kids who test limits. We know consistency is important but what can we do when our kids continually test boundaries? We talked with parenting expert Dr. Meg Meeker, a leading authority on parenting teens and children's health, bestselling author, pediatrician and a mom. Here are her baseline tips: 1. Don't feel like you have to be both parents. You are only one person. That's enough. 2. Parents need to intentionally find ways to have one on one time with their kids every week. Connect. Look them in the eye. Ask them how life is and listen. 3. Timing matters. Give your kids space after school or athletic practice. Bedtime can be a wonderful time to connect. 4. Our approach matters too. Go in gently. Don't lead with correction. Sit at the end of the bed. Ask questions but don't demand feedback. Say, "I haven't seen you much this week. How's life?" 5. Keep going back. Your persistence lets your kids know you simply want their company. They will open up but only if they think they can count on you and that you will listen. A sudden change in demeanor or pulling away can signal that something has happened outside of your home. Use the same curious, persistent approach. Ask, "You're not your usual happy self. Is there anything you want to talk about?" Go where they are, they need to know you are in it with them. If your child doesn't want to talk, try asking about their friends. They may share more openly if the focus is not on them, especially if they are embarrassed or think may get in trouble. When they do share, don't overreact. Remember, acting out and defiance aren't usually about you as a parent. Unhappy kids are defiant. "Inside of them, curled up, is a little kid who is in a tremendous amount of pain." Give them language to express themselves. Say, "I understand something is going on and you're really angry but even when you're mad you can't _____." Let them know their feelings are okay while giving them ownership of their behavior and the consequences. "If you say this or do that, then I'm going to have to take your phone away. I hope you don't put me in that position." For single parents, don't let guilt make you reluctant to set limits. Meeker says our message needs to be that life includes pain and we understand. Let them know it's okay to let their feelings bubble up to the surface and that you will be there to help them process. If a rebellious child is making bad choices, and the behaviors aren't dangerous, Meeker says hold on and stick with them through it. Most kids will eventually develop enough maturity to get past it. But, if they are doing dangerous things, you have to monitor their behavior closely. Sometimes rebellion is a test to see what you will do. They want to know how far you will go to get them. They may scream, be mortified, and say they hate you but, as a parent, you must do the hard things. Dr, Meeker says, "Your job is to raise a healthy 25-year-old not a healthy 18-year-old" because their brains aren't fully developed until then. Meeker adds, "No situation is beyond fixable. Don't parent out of fear. If your child is in danger, recruit some help and go after that kid. Let them know you are not going anywhere. Kids who are pursued feel so loved." For more - www.meekerparenting.com FB - @SoloParentSociety INSTA - @SoloParentSociety

It can be overwhelming... conflicting, complicated and all consuming.  Conflicting - Exciting and terrifying Complicated - We are not just making decisions for ourselves, it effects my kids... potentially my ex. All consuming - Making room to do this means I am sacrificing another area and I am already spread thin. NOT TO MENTION finding a mate /or not is probably the biggest decision we will have to make. 3 elements to factor in as we consider dating again. 1. Identify where I am - self awareness Name you fears, it brings freedom - with awareness brings healing Name your feeling - its ok to be excited as much as afraid Who am I - am I someone that someone would want to date? What work do I still need to do? What are scars - Replace the word 'baggage' with 'bonus' What are hopes? Give lots of grace - see this is not a one shot chance 2. Define what you are looking for, what we need and where you want to go First of all when thinking about this don't envision a specific person. Create a check list - Write down what's important related to Career Family - existing and or future Age Faith How they treat people How they treat their kids Disipline Kindness Why do I want to be remarried?          Companionship?          Emotional stability?          Financial stability? What did you love about your last relationship What are non negotiable Pray - God, what am I missing? 3. Create Plan - Patience or proceed Patience is self explanatory - and remember it is a season - you will not stay 'in the waiting'... expand your friend group circle so loneliness doesn't compromise the waiting. Proceeding Check list Pray - submit the conversations If using a dating app -Use caution - don't put to much out there -Take time -Be completely honest -Be patient -Proximity -Meet at public place -Don't let them in your house -Set boundaries -Be true to you -Don't move too quickly - Especially physically - Casual sex is anything but casual. It comes with burdens, shame and complicates healing and can create emotional confusion. -How quick you introduce to kids - protecting kids from getting to attached -Be open to new Remember, to date or not to date is one of the most important decision we will face as a single parent and it deserves a carefully thought out position, and tons of prayer.

We all want to love our kids well. Loving them while we are in a position of feeling broken and vulnerable can create problems - blind-spots. Sometimes we tend to spoil them, shielding them from life's natural consequences because they have already had so much trauma. Or we can be triggered by seeing our ex in their behavior and inadvertently withdraw. Coming out of a relationship that leaves us with scars can leave us with blind-spots related to how we see and give healthy love to our family. Ultimately, we should parent our kids as God parents us. God parents us by investing in long term character over short term gratification. Even with all good intentions, we can develop blind-spots in 3 primary areas. -Overcompensating Making sure our kids have the latest and greatest. -Not giving consequences Not holding them accountable for their behavior or choices. -Crossing emotional boundaries We can become either become dependent or the opposite we withdraw. Not addressing any and/or all of these blind-spots can create long term ramifications for our kids. ( Narcissism, entitlement, or failure to adapt are examples of the mindsets that our kids will take into their future relationships, both personal or professional.) In general, a good question to ask ourselves when we are facing any situation with our kids is a self-assessment - "Am I trying to make my child happy, or am I trying to do what's best for my child?" As single parents, we have so much other drama in so many areas of our lives, it is natural not to want to create more tension with our kids. Nevertheless, it is essential to address these blind-spots to create the most potential of our child's future successful relationships. -Overcompensating Changing the way we look at things. God doesn't give us everything we want. He is more interested in developing our character, which sometimes is hard. We need to continually self assess what our motivation is - are trying to make them happy or build character. We need to remind ourselves that 'withholding' their temporary relief or pleasure is a form of love. -Not giving consequences Overlooking behavior or making excuses for behavior might alleviate momentary discomfort, but it can create long term ramifications. What we permit now will grow. We need to be very clear about Ground rules and expectations (often in writing), and then be consistent and be willing to escalate consequences. That is equipping our kids to know that is how the world works. If we fall short, don't give up... get back up and keep trying. Also, expect to be tested with harder and harder resistance... It actually means you are doing things right. -Crossing emotional boundaries It makes sense that our kids are the safest place to invest our emotions... or that things they do can trigger memories of our ex's behaviors. We need to remind ourselves that these are human beings that need to see healthy love modeled. We are not in equal emotional places. So we need to seek outside adult friendships to process through the tough stuff and feel the intimate care of others. If we are prone to withdraw, schedule time to just being present. Go to where they are and what interests them, and just be there with them. As single parents, it is natural to have blind-spots that looks a lot like love. We need to parent like God parents - paying attention to what is being build rather than immediate happiness. Being brave enough to disappoint - and always parent from a position of love, not fear or immediate gratification. REMEMBER, we were chosen to guide and mold the humans entrusted to us. Join our community at Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety 

Every week we talk about the transformation that can happen in our lives during the solo season, the growth that we can experience, and how we can overcome all that we’ve lost. So as we start this month focusing on Growth, we want to start with a clear understanding of what that actually means.  What is healthy growth, how do we measure it, how do we do it, and where do we start? We talk all the time about deliberate steps that we can take to grow as an individual and to grow as a parent. So what are some fundamental steps that we can put in place to grow, not in spite of but because of, the Solo season? Today we are going to start this new month by discussing the fundamentals of HEALTHY GROWTH 101.  Click here for the detailed show notes, tips and links.  To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

As single parents, we tend to let our peace be drained out of us by other people, lies, society, and comparison, and we end up feeling disempowered or victims. So often, we let unsafe people have access to our identity, self-worth, self-esteem and how we feel about ourselves… in that sense, we are leaking our sense of peace everywhere. So how do we get to a healthy place of protecting the peace that we can experience in being enough, God empowered, and beloved? How can we move forward empowered with a sense of our God identity and have peace with where we’re at. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit https://soloparent.org/show-notes-blog Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

How do you let go of things that are done to you or said against you? Divorce, by design, brings out allegations (true or false)against you. Not to mention the damage that has been done leading up to divorce. This is not easy! Today hosts Robert Beeson and Marissa Lee discuss the importance of letting go and the process of forgiveness.

32. REDUCE STRESS by Solo Parent Society

Single Parents, we have experienced so much hurt and disappointment, and the list goes on, that we can be too afraid to hope. We want to grow in this season, but often it feels like the best days are behind us. Rarely do we think of celebration as a means to grow… because frankly, it feels like there is so little to celebrate… and day in day out, the best we can do is just to get by… So how can we approach life with an expectant heart and courage to trust God’s good gifts again?   Our guest, Nicole Zasowski is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of a new book called What if It’s Wonderful. Today, we discuss The Growth Tool You’re Not Considering: Celebration  Click here for the detailed show notes, tips and links. Visit to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional  Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID 

“My name is Jessica and I’m a single mom. Since my divorce, I’m really struggling to find where I fit in at church. It seems like everyone who attends are families. And it’s so strange, but after attending for six years, I just feel like I don’t fit in anymore. Now, when I walk into church with my two kiddos, I feel like people are wondering what the story is, like, “Where’s the dad?” Maybe it’s just me, but I feel people are judging me because we couldn’t keep our family together.”  Single parents experience spiritual community in different ways. Some don’t feel welcomed or seen by the church especially after divorce. Some have felt hurt or wounded by the church. Some attended church with their ex so going to church alone after divorce can feel awkward. Others continue their connection to church but overall, statistics tell us that 67% of single parents do not attend church. The primary reasons cited are because they feel they will be judged or that they don’t belong.  Single parents need to have spiritual community, maybe more so than ever before, because we are parenting alone. Today we discuss how to rediscover Spiritual Community - For the full show notes and links - click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/07/14/rediscovering-spritual-community/

Being a single parent means juggling many responsibilities, often leading us to overlook our own courage. Too often, we focus on the negatives and fail to see our own bravery. How can we reduce our fear and feel more connected to our inner courage? In this episode, we'll dive into: 1) Identifying the biggest fear that stops us from seeing our courage. 2) Redefining what courage really means for us as single parents. 3) Sharing practical examples to help you recognize and feel your inherent courage. Join us as we explore these points, aiming to help you appreciate your strength and resilience as a single parent. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

A COVID-19 CRISIS EPISODE

PARENTAL ADVISORY: Today we are talking about sex which may not be appropriate for younger kids to hear. Sexuality is more complicated now and so much more widely accessible, especially to our kids… it’s everywhere we look. And as a single parent, the other parent may often have different views on sexuality than us. So how do we walk our kids into a healthy understanding of what sex is? It’s not a matter of if they’re going to be exposed to it; it’s a matter of when.  We want to be proactive, as uncomfortable as it is, but for so many of us, we don’t know how, what or when to do it.  Often it wasn’t modeled well for us, and now that it’s everywhere around us, our kids are exposed more than we ever would’ve imagined we would be.   Many of us raised in the church associate sex with shame, so we’re walking into this with our own bag of complexities.  We want to make this disclaimer: We will not be talking today about what is right or wrong, what we tell our kids they should or shouldn’t do because there are enough available resources that can help you define those boundaries for your kids.  Today we are going to talk about how we approach the topic, when we approach the topic, and probably most importantly, how to create a safe, open place for talking about sex without shaming, which, studies show, keep us from bringing sexual topics into the light. And when things are left in the shadows, the enemy can turn those thoughts into destructive forces.  ?We have a couple of experts on this episode to guide us through this. Adam Young, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a Master degrees in Social Work and Divinity. Serves as a Fellow with The Allender Center, and I am the host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast. He is married with two kids. Bethany Robbins served at Theological College of Zimbabwe and is in advanced training under Dan Allender as a lay counselor. She and her husband are missionaries in Malawi, bringing theological education and training leaders to embrace ministry to the fatherless, sojourner, and widow. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.comReceive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As single parents, there are so many aspects of our life that are entirely out of control. In fact, for those of us that have been divorced, divorce in and of itself is a way of taking control of the situation/relationship that was toxic or out of control. We choose control to escape uncertainty, defend against pain, and keep ourselves from feeling afraid. We see control as a way to bring peace, but it actually leads us in the opposite direction. Control is a counterfeit to peace; control actually destroys peace. When we are in the midst of pain or struggle, we don’t want to wait for it to subside; we want to get to the other side of that pain and struggle. We tend to want to take the reins of control and get out of discomfort as fast as possible to have a sense of peace finally. If only I could find a mate… If only I had more money… If only my kids would stop acting out… That’s all a natural reaction. But that control never brings lasting peace. That kind of control is an illusion of peace. So how do we let go of the illusion of control when it feels so counterintuitive while we are hurting, confused and disillusioned. For detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click Join our daily meditational devotional

As single parents, sometimes our schedules and all the tactical things we have to get done can eat up our time and suddenly we find that we don't have time for God. We can get disconnected from a sense of spiritual balance and lose our sense of belonging. Often, we may not feel connected to anything, which can make us isolate even more. There are many things that can create a disconnection from God. Sometimes we go to other people or things for our security and connection point. We can create idols without even realizing it. Sometimes we feel forgotten, broken and end up feeling nothing. We can feel so damaged that we wonder so why would anyone want us and that we are a disappointment to God. So we wonder where we do we even fit anymore.  So how do we get back to the place of finding true spiritual balance or alignment - for some of us maybe for the first time. Spiritual balance isn't just about memorizing Bible verses. It's about true connection. This comes from embracing two components: Spiritual identity Spiritual connection Spiritual identity is working toward connection based on whose we are. It's operating from our actual identities instead of the false identities we tend to create. Before we became physical beings, we were actually spiritual beings. We're a soul with a temporary body. As we grow up, the we take on new identities based on how the world sees us.  An identity built from shame, burden, performance, family, career, etc. All of these physical and emotional things can become our identities. They cover up the real "you" - who God created us to be. We start letting the physical and emotional things become our identities, but they aren't healthy identities. When those things are taken away, it's extremely uncomfortable. We don't know who we are anymore. But God wants us like this - He wants us dependent on Him instead of those other things. Those things aren't as important as we think they are. Those things being taken away can be the most important thing to ever happen to us. The reason for that is God wants us to know His love is based on who we are, not what we do. We are deeply loved daughters and sons. This is our true identity. Keeping your true identity front and center can be difficult. Some ways to do this are: Writing affirmations or reminders of who we are and posting them around the house and office. Or just speaking the truth out loud. These can combat the lies that are always flying around. Once we are more in tune with who we are, we can begin to open ourselves up for Spiritual Connection. But we have to create intentional space to do this - schedule your priorities. Once we create space in our schedules, it's important to learn the ways we connect. Connection can happen in journaling as a prayer to God and being completely vulnerable with Him. Another is through worship music. Meditation, visualization and being still can also help us connect in a deep way. If you're just starting off and need to take a first step, start by being more still. Lean in and ask God to show you what He's trying to teach you in this time of growth and learning. God is glorified in your weakness and He will make all things perfect. Focus on getting to the core of your spiritual identity and then find intimate connection. Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety

Single parents, relying on one income, often face financial challenges, whether it’s always been that way or due to divorce or loss of a spouse. Variables such as child support, alimony, or a lack of either are factors that add to the complexity. Chris Hogan, financial expert with Ramsey Solutions, shares that even with these unique circumstances, the solution for single-parent families is similar to what every household needs - a clear road map to follow so they can move toward financial stability. Chris is passionate about empowering people to gain control of their finances by making budgeting simple. He shares that regardless of the amount of income or expenses for any household, the common denominator to gain control over your finances is to begin using a budget. A budget is a tool For some of us, the idea of budgeting seems scary and complex, maybe even overwhelming, or impossible. Chris shares that using a budget doesn’t have to be any of those things. Rather, a budget is a powerful tool for healthy control over your money and a huge step toward personal freedom. Budgeting brings freedom The first step in developing a budget is understanding how much money you have coming in and going out. Determining how much income you have and knowing your expenses helps you begin to gain control over your finances. Rather than looking at a budget as a restrictive tool or punishment, we need to change our mindset, and look at it as a tool for personal freedom and success.  Financial guru, Rachel Cruze says, “A budget gives you permission to enjoy” and this echoes Chris’ approach. A budget is meant to be used for our good so that when we do want to spend money on dinner out or buying something we want, we don’t have to be nervous about our card being declined or a bill being unpaid. A budget is a tool we can use to have a life we can enjoy while knowing our obligations are covered. Developing a budget, knowing your income and expenses, is the first step toward that freedom. Figuring this out will take several months but it’s time well spent. Proverbs 27:23 “Know well the condition of your flocks and give attention to your herds.” What comes to mind when you hear the word “budget”? Do you see it as a tool toward financial freedom and steps toward the life you want? Why or why not? The Four Walls Next, it’s necessary to be aware of the four walls we must take care of first. These walls are housing, food, transportation, and utilities. Notice, says Chris, he doesn’t include gifts in there, shoes, or golf clubs, or even eating out. Instead, we must take care of essentials. Especially during the pandemic, incomes have changed, hours have been reduced, and more than ever before these four walls must come first. Budgeting must be intentional. If we know these four walls are regular expenses, we prioritize them. Look at the things that are taking away from these priorities. For example, Chris says if you’re eating out three or more times a week, that is taking up a substantial portion of your budget. Reduce eating out to twice a week at most or even better start cooking at home. This is a huge money saver and a way to take control. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. If nothing changes, nothing changes! Taking control of your finances means learning. Learning is uncomfortable but our kids are looking to us so it’s important to become an effective leader for them. Redefining our dreams Another part of the budgeting process is redefining our dreams. When we have control over our finances, we give ourselves the power to reimagine our future. As we learn to manage our income and expenses more effectively, even if the pie we are dividing up is smaller, we gain the ability to make new dreams a reality. Chris knows budgeting for single parents can be overwhelming. Single parents...

HAPPY SINGLE PARENTS DAY! What to names like George Washington, Franklin Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, Barrack Obama, Justin Bieber, Tim Tebow, Oprah Winfrey, and Elon Musk all have in common? They were all raised by a single parent. Carrying the weight of raising our kids on our own and hearing about some of the tragic statistics that come from Single Parent homes, compound a feeling of failure even before our kids leave the house. So today, we want to turn our focus on an inspiring story of what is possible coming from a single parent home. It's just not achievement in the world's eyes. Being raised in a Single Parent household can have a profound effect on an entire cultural landscape as well. Today our guest is Joseph Humphries, author of the book ‘From the Projects to the boardroom”. Joe was a Senior Level Executive, specializing in crisis management and turnarounds of distressed companies. He: Completed the executive programs at MIT, Sloan School of Management in Global Supply Chain Strategy, The University of Wisconsin, Executive Leadership Training at The Center for Creative Leadership. He has served as a deacon, elder, advisory board member and was even awarded for his for his dedication and devotion to service to his community by the governor of the state of North Carolina. The origins of Joe’s story is that he was raised by a single mom in the projects. Today he reflects on his journey being the child of a single parent, out of poverty to achieve all this. Success comes from single parent homes! For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book.  Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

The idea of 'having balance' seems impossible as a single parent. Typically our physical needs are at the bottom of the list of priorities. The problem with that is that is not sustainable - and just like a car that we never get serviced or the oil changed, inevitably we will find eventually ourselves in crisis. Small maintenance steps can equal longer, healthier outcomes. Physical balance effects everything else ion our lives - we must move towards wellness before we hit physical crisis.

Let’s face it - a soured relationship is what put us in this difficult situation we are in. As Solo Parents many of us have experienced betrayal, rejection and we are very aware that we have failed at successful marriage relationships. The idea of thinking about working on ‘relational growth’ may bring feelings of ‘I've seen that movie before, no thanks’. We can tend to resist anything that requires trust, extensive time and ‘putting ourselves out there’ to potentially get hurt again. The problem is that we are made for community. As tempting as it is to isolate and keep the walls up it is critical to grow healthy relationships. Growing healthy authentic relationships are a cornerstone to a healthily Single Parent. To read all the show notes and insights from this week's podcast go to https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/05/26/relational-growth/

Some of us think that self love is only self serving. An incorrect belief that in order to parent well, our kid's needs come before our needs, and often we over compensate. The problem is, we can't give what we don't have. Often we spend so much time focusing on other people we don't spend enough time loving and caring for ourselves. Self Love if often viewed as a reward or a special treat we give to ourselves... but it goes far beyond that. Love is an activity not a quality. Loving yourself requires more than just a mindset, it requires action. 3 keys to practicing self love can be broken into the following steps. 1. Mindset Reset We have to start resetting how we view self love. Understanding that loving ourselves well brings value to how we love our kids. Self love = loving our kids It requires committing to making this a priority Give grace, not putting so much pressure on ourselves - be patient - a mind reset wont happen overnight TRY THIS - Right notes on bathroom mirror - reminding of who we are / our identity - Psalm 139 - Verbalize - say it out loud - say it till you believe - examples "I am worth taking care of, I am not my mistakes, I am not my past, I will live into my best days still ahead of me, God chose me to parent these kids - He will equip me." - Write down an inventory of what we have accomplished by ourselves Above all - Give grace - metamorphosis takes time 2. Boundaries Often we overcompensate for the hurt our kids have been through and let our boundaries down. Focus on establishing simple boundaries that provide margin to our lives. With our kids - Don't take every phone call - let them know every question they may have is important - but there is a difference between important vs immediate - Have them start to discern if the question they have is urgent and requires an immediate answer or if maybe they could text vs phone call or even write things down to bring up later. Create Space - be deliberate in carving out alone time. Let them know that everyone has a need for space and teach / model what that looks like next time you are asked "can I sleep in your bed". With our Ex / Family / Friends Get out of volatile conversations. Ask for schedule changes etc. to be put in writing. Express appreciation to our ex or family members for wrestling with trying to do the right thing. Deescalate. Don't say yes to every opportunity. Protect your time and remember saying 'yes' to something means saying 'no' to something else. Prioritize time with 'life giving' relationships 3. Fill your cup Do things that bring you joy Cooking, Gardening, Painting, Reading Try something new - allow yourself to pursue something exciting. Don't be afraid to ask for help create space - trade time with other single parents. Do things that you can complete, even as simple as making the bed. Remember: Self love is not selfish. If we don't do it for us, do it for our kids because we cant give what we don't have. When I enrich my own life, I'll be life-giving to others too. Join us on Facebook - Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety - You are not alone!

The heart-wrenching whirlwind of divorce or the trauma of losing a spouse to death can leave us completely depleted of our identity. Trying to navigate the chaotic and exhausting world of juggling all the demands of raising our kids on our own can leave us at a loss of who we are. Not recognizing who we were, who we are now, and who we are supposed to become can seem elusive while we’re just struggling to get by. So as a part of self-care, how can we begin to reclaim our identity, to discover confidence in who we are and how we fit in this new reality? In this episode, we are going to explore this. ? Our guest this week is Dr. Dan Allender. For over 30 years, the Allender Theory has brought healing and transformation to hundreds of thousands of lives by bridging the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse that mark so many. He founded The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, and The Allender Center and is a best selling author of 9 books. He has counseled and led millions of people towards caring for themselves. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

Worth – Discovering Your Purpose Worth is made up of our value, identity, and purpose (V.I.P.). Understanding each of these elements helps us know we are VIP’s in God’s kingdom. Each one of us has intrinsic value because we were created by our Creator. We each have a unique identity shaped and informed by our history, story, strengths, and passions. And, we were created on purpose for a purpose – to walk out the plan God set in place and to do the works He planned in advance for us to do. Discovering your purpose is part three of our series on worth. Your purpose is a path. It’s a process of discovery, not a destination. There are two distinctives to pay attention to in discovering your purpose. They are your design and your path. The first is our design. To understand our purpose and unlock our power, we must value our design. This starts with knowing and believing we are uniquely created by the Designer for a specific purpose. When we are anchored in this knowledge, we can embrace our unique design. Some of us believe we have to fit in, perform, or look and behave in certain ways to accomplish our purpose. Instead of trying to fit into these boxes, we need to look into God’s word to discover our design. Our design isn’t found in fashion magazines or other worldly measure like career achievements or accumulating material things. This isn’t God’s design.God’s design for us is not the same as that of culture or society. “Comparison is the thief of joy” and when we look to worldly standards to measure our design, we can easily lose sight of our godly purpose. We need to be intentional and look to God instead to discover our gifting and purpose. Luke 13:20 says, “He asked, “To what can I compare the kingdom of God? It is like leaven that a woman took and mixed into three measures of flour, until all of it was leavened.” Yeast is tiny and unseen yet it acts throughout the entire batch of dough causing it to rise. Start asking God to reveal the “leaven” He has placed in you. Look for those areas that are evidence of His Spirit acting inside of you for His kingdom. God created you with unique gifts to be used for unique purposes. Take some time to explore how He designed you. Former single mom, Kimberley, shares something her daughter said when she was 8 years old. “Hey Mom, the word “us” is part of “Jesus” so that means we belong together. Jesus and us.” Yes! So simple and yet so profound. Jesus and us. We were made for connection with Him. We were created to know and follow Him. Both our design and our path our part of our purpose. And His purpose for our lives is so much better and higher than our own. When we open ourselves up to God and His purposes for us, it can look a lot different than we expect but it is so much better. Robert Beeson, founder of Solo Parent Society, says his solo season revealed more of God’s plan for him than ever before. It is at rock bottom that we sometimes find our deepest connection to God and understand ourselves more than could have in any other circumstances. Being intentional about our solo season and asking God to show us who He created us to be can be pivotal. We can come out on the other side transformed, ready to embrace our design and the path we are on, however unexpected. And our path is the second part of discovering our purpose. Often when we think of purpose, we think of it as a destination or something we determine. And that just isn’t the case. Purpose is not an objective, it’s an outcome. Purpose is found in our design and in the path that God has us on, even when that path includes hardships, trials, and brokenness.Everything happens on purpose for a purpose. Sometimes we get in a rush. We get impatient and we want to see the ending, but God gives us “just enough light for the step we’re on”. Our purpose...

“Sometimes it takes a car crash to realize you were driving irresponsibly.” When his mother died and his marriage ended in the same month, Josh Millburn had to reexamine how he was living. He had spent his twenties focused on making money and climbing the corporate ladder. He wracked up a lot of debt and was focused on so called success and achievement. In our society, we know that means accumulating more and more stuff, believing that “if we just get one more thing, I’ll be happy”. The average American household has over 300,000 items in it. But stuff never fills the void, it only widens it. Josh woke up to that reality and embraced a minimalist lifestyle, writing an ebook called “The Minimalist Rulebook: 16 Rules for Living with Less.” Living more deliberately with less is now Josh’s way of life. After the financial crisis of 2008, Josh realized his money and stuff were doing the opposite of what he wanted. They weren’t making him happy. They were getting in the way of what was truly important. Too often we live with overindulgent consumption and sometimes a big event is needed to wake us up. For single parents, the changes that lead us to parenting alone often act as a wake-up call or “car crash”. Covid has had the same affect for many too. We find ourselves reevaluating our lives, our priorities and our decisions. When Josh found himself reevaluating, he discovered that it was time to redefine what brought value to his life. Rather than letting his belongings give the impression of adding value, he started to examine everything he owned through a different lens. He started asking himself what he needed to let go of and what was important to keep. In this process, he found out that sometimes we assign equal value to all the things in our life even when they don’t add the same benefits. Instead, we must be intentional in determining what adds value and what doesn’t. In doing so himself, Josh began to embrace a minimalist lifestyle. He now only owns things that serve a purpose or bring him joy like art or music. The Minimalist Rulebook Josh uses a set of “rules’ to determine what he keeps and what he eliminates from his life. These are found in his e-book, “The Minimalist Rulebook: 16 Rules for Living with Less”, available free on his website (www.theminimalists.com). These rules aren’t meant to be rigid or exhaustive. They are meant to be used like a recipe. You put several of them together to get the result you want. For example, we sometimes justify holding on to things “just in case”. Josh says these are the three most dangerous rules when it comes to hanging on to things. To overcome the “just in case” mentality, Josh says you should never hang on to anything “just in case” if it is something you can replace for $20 or less without having to go out of your way more than 20 minutes. Another rule is the 90/90 rule. Ask yourself, have I used this in the last 90 days? If not, ask yourself if you will use it in the next 90 days. If not, give yourself permission to let that item go. When it comes to the minimalist lifestyle, Josh says don’t start with nostalgic or sentimental items nostalgic like letters, cards, and kids’ craft items. Deal with these “memory box” type items after you’ve made progress in streamlining other areas first. Don’t start eliminating there. Instead, Josh says a tactic he uses for people to get started is “the 30-day minimalist game.” This helps you start small with things that are easy to let go of so you can build momentum as you minimize. A good place to start might be with clothes you don’t use anymore. Josh also suggests that when it comes to sentimental items, it helps to keep in mind the idea that if everything is precious, nothing is precious. Sometimes we water down the value of things simply by having too many of them. We don’t need nearly as many clothes, or kitchen gadgets, or accessories...

It's hard enough when we feel hurt or betrayed, but when our kids are feeling the pain of loss and the confusion it can bring it's a whole other level of hurt. Watching those we care for going though something that they had no part of creating can feel overwhelming. How are we supposed to help them process though these adult feelings knowing that we are wounded too? Today, author and the creator of Divorce Care for Kids, Linda Jacobs shares insight on leading our kids through hurt.

On today’s episode, hosts Robert Beeson and Kimberley Mitchell, talk with financial expert, Dave Ramsey about personal growth. Personal growth can seem like a far-off goal when our lives have been turned upside down. Dave shares what personal growth looks like for him and what it can look like for solo parents too. Dave went through his own “shattered season” when his business went bankrupt, but he allowed that to shape his future. Now, he's on over 500 radio stations, he’s a bestselling author, and he’s a household name. Yes, our lives can feel shattered, “But,” Dave reminds us, “good things can come out of manure”. Things like bankruptcy and divorce are an ending but they are also a beginning. “You can’t go back, so all you can do is learn, get better, and go forward.” Dave says personal growth is about using the rear-view mirror to glance behind us we don’t make the same mistakes again, but to use the windshield more, so we can move toward new things intentionally. We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can choose what we put into our spirits and brains. “These things aren’t likely found on TV or Instagram but instead in a book, in a Bible Study, in a Sunday school class”, Dave emphasized. And making personal growth a priority is essential, “...just like you would with exercise and brushing your teeth”. Dave also shared another key to personal growth is “naming the enemy to take his power away”. It’s easy to blame other people, play the victim card and get stuck. Dave has been there. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” “That’s human”, says Dave, “we get to have those moments, but we can’t stay there.” Instead, we must move toward the second part of that verse, “When desire comes, it is the tree of life.” “We need hopefulness instead of hopelessness”, says Dave, and “Nobody can steal our hope, we have to surrender it.” So, it’s also up to us to take it back. We can do this by naming blame and hopelessness and identifying a third enemy, fatigue. “It is emotionally expensive to be shattered”, says Dave. “We feel like we’ve been hit by a train, but we have to say, I’m not going to become a victim. I’m not going to surrender my hope. I'm going to rest, lick my wounds, and fill up the glass with something good.” “That”, Dave says, “is the personal growth part.” In the shattered spaces of our lives, terrible things do happen, but we must be careful not to focus only on those things. We must be deliberate about naming the good things in our lives. Dave said, “Get up every morning and make a blessings list. Gratitude is a powerful emotion and grateful people are highly attractive.” And who doesn’t want to be attractive? Personal growth isn't easy, but it’s necessary and empowering. When we come through a difficult season, we are no longer under the illusion of having it all together. We can surrender to not being perfect and realize God loves us anyway, just as we are. He forgives us and we can forgive ourselves too with hearts full of gratitude. Then we can move forward into new things and greater personal growth. Don’t miss the rest of Dave’s insights on personal growth! Follow Solo Parent Society on Facebook and on Instagram (@soloparentsociety) Learn more at www.soloparentsociety.com. You can also download the free Solo Parent Society app for iPhones or Androids from your app store. To learn more about Financial Peace University, visit Ramsey Solutions.

It can be overwhelming... conflicting, complicated and all consuming.  Conflicting - Exciting and terrifying Complicated - We are not just making decisions for ourselves, it effects my kids... potentially my ex. All consuming - Making room to do this means I am sacrificing another area and I am already spread thin. NOT TO MENTION finding a mate /or not is probably the biggest decision we will have to make. 3 elements to factor in as we consider dating again. 1. Identify where I am - self awareness Name you fears, it brings freedom - with awareness brings healing Name your feeling - its ok to be excited as much as afraid Who am I - am I someone that someone would want to date? What work do I still need to do? What are scars - Replace the word 'baggage' with 'bonus' What are hopes? Give lots of grace - see this is not a one shot chance 2. Define what you are looking for, what we need and where you want to go First of all when thinking about this don’t envision a specific person. Create a check list - Write down what’s important related to Career Family - existing and or future Age Faith How they treat people How they treat their kids Disipline Kindness Why do I want to be remarried?          Companionship?          Emotional stability?          Financial stability? What did you love about your last relationship What are non negotiable Pray - God, what am I missing? 3. Create Plan - Patience or proceed Patience is self explanatory - and remember it is a season - you will not stay ‘in the waiting’... expand your friend group circle so loneliness doesn’t compromise the waiting. Proceeding Check list Pray - submit the conversations If using a dating app -Use caution - don’t put to much out there -Take time -Be completely honest -Be patient -Proximity -Meet at public place -Don’t let them in your house -Set boundaries -Be true to you -Don’t move too quickly - Especially physically - Casual sex is anything but casual. It comes with burdens, shame and complicates healing and can create emotional confusion. -How quick you introduce to kids - protecting kids from getting to attached -Be open to new Remember, to date or not to date is one of the most important decision we will face as a single parent and it deserves a carefully thought out position, and tons of prayer.

The older our kids get the more distant they seem to become. How do we ensure we stay (or get)connected when they start pulling away? Today we discuss ways to get our kids to open up in this 5 min session.

30. SHAME by Solo Parent Society

Anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults and are the most common mental diagnosis in America. Dr. John Delony, best-selling author, mental health expert, host of “The Dr. John Delony show”, joins Robert and Kim to talk about how to calm anxiety. He has two doctorate degrees and over two decades of experience in counseling, crisis response and higher education. He is also part of the Dave Ramsey team of personalities.  Dr. Delony shares that, “At its core, anxiety is our body telling us we are out of step relationally, that we are in a situation that isn’t safe, or that, as we look into the future, we cannot control what is coming next. It’s not a sign that we’re broken or that our brains are malfunctioning. It’s the other way around. It’s telling us that our brain is working great. It’s designed to tell us we are under a threat and we need to look at our entire universe to find out what is going on.” He also shares that cognitive dissonance is when we have two different competing thoughts or emotions at once. We might be reading scripture that tells us we are loved and accepted as we are while those around us are sending a different message. It can lead us to shut down. If you are experiencing cognitive dissonance, your body might sound an alarm. If we are surrounded by loving people but feel lonely inside, we may experience that dissonance and our brains will alert us. Anxiety can be the result of experiencing that difference.  Many single parents experience chronic anxiety, so what is anxiety and how do we calm it? For the full show notes, tips and links go to SoloParentSociety.com  Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

It's easy to feel stuck. Like our prayers aren't answered... maybe not even heard. As single parents it is so important to remember that there is a much bigger picture to what is going on. A view that we won't be able to see. Today our host Robert Beeson discusses what to do when God doesn't answer.

As single parents, sometimes our schedules and all the tactical things we have to get done can eat up our time and suddenly we find that we don’t have time for God. We can get disconnected from a sense of spiritual balance and lose our sense of belonging. Often, we may not feel connected to anything, which can make us isolate even more. There are many things that can create a disconnection from God. Sometimes we go to other people or things for our security and connection point. We can create idols without even realizing it. Sometimes we feel forgotten, broken and end up feeling nothing. We can feel so damaged that we wonder so why would anyone want us and that we are a disappointment to God. So we wonder where we do we even fit anymore.  So how do we get back to the place of finding true spiritual balance or alignment – for some of us maybe for the first time. Spiritual balance isn’t just about memorizing Bible verses. It’s about true connection. This comes from embracing two components: Spiritual identity Spiritual connection Spiritual identity is working toward connection based on whose we are. It’s operating from our actual identities instead of the false identities we tend to create. Before we became physical beings, we were actually spiritual beings. We’re a soul with a temporary body. As we grow up, the we take on new identities based on how the world sees us. An identity built from shame, burden, performance, family, career, etc. All of these physical and emotional things can become our identities. They cover up the real “you” – who God created us to be. We start letting the physical and emotional things become our identities, but they aren’t healthy identities. When those things are taken away, it’s extremely uncomfortable. We don’t know who we are anymore. But God wants us like this – He wants us dependent on Him instead of those other things. Those things aren’t as important as we think they are. Those things being taken away can be the most important thing to ever happen to us. The reason for that is God wants us to know His love is based on who we are, not what we do. We are deeply loved daughters and sons. This is our true identity. Keeping your true identity front and center can be difficult. Some ways to do this are: Writing affirmations or reminders of who we are and posting them around the house and office. Or just speaking the truth out loud. These can combat the lies that are always flying around. Once we are more in tune with who we are, we can begin to open ourselves up for Spiritual Connection. But we have to create intentional space to do this – schedule your priorities. Once we create space in our schedules, it’s important to learn the ways we connect. Connection can happen in journaling as a prayer to God and being completely vulnerable with Him. Another is through worship music. Meditation, visualization and being still can also help us connect in a deep way. If you’re just starting off and need to take a first step, start by being more still. Lean in and ask God to show you what He’s trying to teach you in this time of growth and learning. God is glorified in your weakness and He will make all things perfect. Focus on getting to the core of your spiritual identity and then find intimate connection. Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety 

As single parents, we have all had a run-in with this thing called love. How do we really know what love is? Is it a feeling? A belief? A trait? We are going to cover a series on love based on the passage - that Jesus calls the greatest commandment.   Mathew 22:37-40 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. The reason this is so important is summed up in Ephesians 3:19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. We are all looking for love. If we don’t find that in God, we end up depressed, numbing out, acting out, searching for love in the wrong places. So, understanding God’s love is foundational to our love of ourselves and others.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Does it seem sometimes that there is a tape that replays in your mind, over and over, reminding you of something you are not proud of. Maybe it was something you said to, or in front of, your kids, a regretful, out of character action, or maybe it was a moral failure that haunts you. We know it's not healthy to carry shame but it feels harder to forgive ourselves and move on. Today, from personal experience, hosts Robert Beeson and Marissa Lee discuss how to move in the direction of forgiving ourselves.

In this episode, we address the unique challenges single parents face as they watch their children navigate difficult experiences, such as divorce, the loss of a parent, bullying, or complex school dynamics. The instinct to jump in and solve their problems can be strong, but how can we instead help our children grow through these challenges, turning adversity into an opportunity for growth? Our special guest is John Boye, a counselor specializing in child counseling, who joins us to share his expertise in areas such as relational struggles, parenting, depression, ADHD, and trauma. We discuss practical strategies for empowering our children to face life's obstacles head-on, fostering resilience and personal growth, while providing the support they need as a single parent. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org More on John Boye - www.arcadiantherapy.com —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Single parents, we know many of you experience incredible emotional upheaval as you adjust to parenting alone regardless of the reason, whether divorce, death of a loved one, or a personal decision of your own. That takes courage in and of itself. But then we end up needing continued strength and resilience to raise our kids as a solo parent in the aftermath of our own pain and struggle. Facing the reality of being a single parent is daunting. We don’t want to damage our kids and the fear of our own inadequacy is real. How do we find courage to parent in our brokenness? We talked to expert therapist, mentor, speaker, and bestselling author, Chip Dodd, to explore how to overcome these fears and move ahead with courage. Chip recently joined the Solo Parent Society team as our resident counseling expert and regular contributor to our podcast. Chip offers so much insight and wisdom in understanding healing and wholeness broken into 3 steps. For the complete show notes click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/08/10/how-to-have-courage-to-parent-in-brokenness/

Have you heard of attachment theory? It's been a hot topic lately, but surprisingly, not everyone knows all the details. That's why we've invited licensed counselor James Horne to join us, to dive into what attachment theory is all about and how it affects the way we give and receive love. We'll explore different attachment styles and how they show up in our relationships with others, including our kids. And of course, we won't leave out the topic of healing. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID "When I Talk to God, I Talk About You" is available now at PenguinRandomHouse.com

The holidays can be one of solo parents' loneliest times of the year. Some of us miss being with our kids because they’re with the other parent for part of the holidays. Deciding what to get the kids, planning, and shopping on our own can cause a heightened sense of loneliness. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is going on in this magical place and we’re left on the sidelines just looking in at what we used to have. Home alone is a very accurate description of what many of us feel, alone in an empty house that used to be filled with Christmas magic. Today we have some key points that can really help. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As we celebrate national single parent day this week, like we do almost every year, we want to celebrate the inspiring stories of Solo parents just like you.  It's very easy to become discouraged as a single parent and have a sense of feeling overwhelmed. But, here’s the truth: the mere fact that you are listening to this podcast indicates that you are investing in becoming the best single parent you can possibly be. Statistically, your awareness and focused, deliberate actions, like listening to this podcast, significantly increase the chances of your children ending up healthy!  We are here to tell you that millions of single parents have carried the same or similar weight as you do; they have inspiring stories of success even out of great struggle. So today we're going to hear some of those. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID "When I Talk to God, I Talk About You" is available now at PenguinRandomHouse.com

Cultivating peace with our past is difficult but necessary. So, how do we find peace after experiencing hard things in our past? Whether we are the ones that left a relationship and left scars in our wake, or there have been things done to us that we replay in our minds, the accusations of others and even the voices from our youth can be overwhelming. Things from our past play out loud in our present. The enemy loves to remind us of our failures and the pain of our past. We can feel bombarded by old tapes, and, when we are walking alone, we have nobody to help us refute them.  All of us live with regrets and even lies from our past experiences that show up in our present lives. If we don’t deal with them, they will very likely repeat themselves. It isn’t fun to face hard, traumatic experiences or words spoken over us or things we have done. We’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t done or had done differently. To be free of them, there are steps we can take to experience peace. Elizabeth Cole joins Robert and Kimberley to talk about this very thing. Elizabeth is familiar with the journey. Jake Smith of Plumline (goplumline.com) told her, “You can never just leave the past in the past. The past always affects your present if you aren’t dealing with it.” Old school philosophy might be to “get over it” or “just move on” but if we don’t deal with the past, it forms and shapes our present.  “It shapes how you act, react, respond, and how you live your life because that’s what you are conditioned and trained to do based on your past experiences,” says Elizabeth. “Your body, your mind, and your emotions have been conditioned over time to protect you and to survive based on what you learned in the past. If you don’t bring those things into your future and look at it and dissect it and figure out what’s causing you to be who you are today, especially if you’re not happy with where you are today, you’re not going to move forward. A lot of growth can happen by addressing [your past].” For the full show notes and links click here Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

Anxiousness and fear among our kids is on the rise. As single parents it is hard to know how to help them, and it is SO hard to watch. It’s hard to give them the courage they need when we feel like we don’t have it ourselves. Today, to discuss Helping Our Kids Build Courage our guest is Max Lucado. He has served in churches around the world, and is America’s best selling inspirational author with more than 145 million products in print. His recent releases - a full color childrens book - ‘Where’d my giggle go?’ and ‘Anxious for Nothing for Young Readers: Living above Anxiousness and Loneliness’, are specifically for young readers to help them find relief from anxiety and regain their peace and joy. We are so honored to have him with us today. For the full show notes, tips and links click visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

5 minute REAL QUICK episodes for single parents. In a chaotic single parent life it is easy to forget the power of our words to our kids. Those words are shaping the kind of adult they are going to become. With host Robert Beeson.

How do we walk through parenting when things seem so out of our control?  How do we walk through parenting when there seems to be no clear way through that?  If you want to know the answers to these valuable questions, look no further as we dive deep into these topics and more with our upcoming guest. Ann Voskamp is back and we talked with her to get her perspective on this, how it ties in through her writings, and so much more. If you haven’t heard her from the last time she was here, you may be wondering who she is and how she would know answers to these questions. Keep reading as we get to know her on a deeper level, and you may be enlightened and refreshed on the relatability, vulnerability, and honesty she conveys.  Ann Voskamp is a mother of seven kids that range from ages 7 to 26, a best-selling author, a speaker, and has a new book called WayMaker: Finding the Way to the Life You’ve Always Dreamed Of. Ann has her own journey when it has come to parenting. A lot of us, just like Ann, have had our own expectations on parenting and the life we thought we’d have for our family and our kids. She shares with us about the hopes, dreams, and expectations we have as parents and not only the silver lining of it all, but also how to shift to a posture of humility.  Today we explore parenting when things seem so out of our control and there seems to be no clear way through? For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

How do we get past the things we’ve done or left undone, the weaknesses we have and the shame that we carry around? The concept of forgiving ourselves is difficult but important. Chip Dodd, author, speaker, counselor and resident expert for Solo Parent Society, talks about shame and forgiveness. Chip shares there is a big difference between guilt and shame. Chip says, “We are all made to belong and matter. That is essential.”  Healthy shame is when we recognize our need for connection, love and care. Admitting these innate needs is the experience of healthy shame. This is the common human experience. Chip says, “We are all made to need, to feel, to desire, to long and to hope. The gift of healthy shame is humility. We are all made out of dirt. I need you. You need me. I make mistakes and so do you.” Healthy shame also says, “I’m not God and neither are you.” This recognition of being human allows us to feel empathy for ourselves and for others and leads us to compassion. Guilt is whenever we do something that goes against a healthy value system. Guilt occurs when we do something that harms someone. Guilt occurs when we cause something, whereas shame is an awareness and understanding of our shared humanity. Healthy shame leads to good guilt. Good guilt is guilt that leads us to seek forgiveness for something we’ve done. Good guilt enables us to pursue relationship with someone we’ve hurt. Good guilt is restorative. Toxic shame on the other hand is not innate. It is something we take on when we are rejected often enough to internalize it into negative feelings or perceptions of ourselves. Toxic shame is not a healthy awareness of our humanity. “Toxic shame is contempt toward myself for being human”, according to Chip. This rejection of our normal humanity and needs is what typifies toxic shame. Toxic shame doesn’t come from God. It comes from those around us who have rejected and hurt us. “We begin to identify ourselves according to the relationships we experience”, says Chip, and this is where toxic shame comes from.  With toxic shame, to be in need is humiliating. With healthy shame, to be in need is humility. Toxic shame leads to seeking relief often in the form of addiction or unhealthy performance. In his book, Hope in the Age of Addiction, Chip shares that addiction is a reaction to toxic shame. We overcome toxic shame by embracing healthy shame. Healthy shame is the portal toward overall health.  For the complete show notes and links click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/09/15/shame-forgiving-ourselves/

I know it sounds crazy, but if we are honest we sometimes have those moments when we wish we could have them back. Not because we miss the drama or toxicity or even the person, but more about the loss of a dream. Today we wrestle with the fleeting, some times lingering, thoughts of missing our ex. With host Robert Beeson.

All of us have been very acquainted with feeling broken, wounded, and defeated. With those realities, it’s hard to believe we can find courage. Many of us have gone to the church for help and as a refuge; unfortunately, some of us have found ourselves feeling marginalized from the very place we needed to feel uplifted. So, many of us felt that we don’t know if we have what it takes to be brave enough to keep going or believe there is much hope. So what do we do with that desperate desire for courage when we feel so defeated, wounded and broken? Our guest is a trauma informed therapist and author who’s latest book is called "The Lord is My Courage: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love" KJ RAMSEY talks about Courage for the Broken, Wounded and Defeated For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

So many of us get confused when we talk about Worth, believing it is the same thing, or similar, to self-esteem. So many of us struggle with a sense of failure, feeling ‘less than’, feeling very damaged, and certainly our sense of Worth can feel like it’s taking an enormous hit. We are surrounded by messages of self-help and self-esteem with books and conferences on the steps to regain or find self-esteem. So what is the difference between self-esteem and a sense of Worth?  Chip Dodd, a regular contributor to SPS, bestselling author of books like “ Voice of the heart,” and counselor talks about the difference between self-esteem and a sense of Worth and provides steps to a healthy understanding of our Worth. For the detailed show notes, tips and links at SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

In today's podcast, we deal with the topic of wholeness as part of our stability as single parents. Wholeness is defined as the state of being unbroken or undamaged but being a single parent can leave us feeling devastated and less than whole. It's especially challenging after some of our experiences and while feeling added pressure to have it all together for our kids. On today's podcast, Solo Parent Society founder, Robert Beeson, podcast co-host, Kimberley Mitchell, and single mom, Marissa Lee, discuss wholeness as something we find not in spite of brokenness but because of it. This may seem counterintuitive but brokenness can actually serve us well when we let God transform us through it. How do we do that? We need to anchor ourselves to Him and then wait for Him to repair and transform us. Anchoring: The act of dropping an anchor is an active process that requires knowing where you are. You can't lower an anchor in mud. It has to be dropped somewhere it will actually hold. As solo parents, we may find ourselves wanting to escape the storm of our brokenness but we cant. Instead, God promises to be with us in it so don't despise the storm. Embrace it as the place where God will meet you and anchor yourself to Him in the midst of it. How do we do this? Specific ways to anchor: Know where you are. Before you drop your anchor, assess your situation honestly. You can't go back to the shore you came from and you may not know where you are going. Instead, accept where you and then you can drop your anchor. Anchor yourself in God's Word. Single parents need to be equipped. We need truth and hope. Surround yourself with it. Play worship music. Find a key verse and use it as a screensaver, memorize it. Especially as solo parents, we cannot be self-reliant. We have to let the anchor of truth hold us firm. Once we are anchored in truth, then what? Well, then we wait. Waiting: Waiting isn't passive. It requires focus and determination to wait when we would rather run from our brokenness. Instead, we must accept where we are, lower our anchor and wait on God to repair us and see us through. Specific ways to wait: Take our thoughts captive. As we wait for God to open the next door and show us next steps, we must take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. Our thoughts are powerful and 70% of them are negative. We have to identify these negative thoughts as lies and speak back to them with truth. We have to be careful which voices we listen to. We need to remember we have a God who saved us! He wins in the end and He is with us in the wait. Be present. While we wait, we need to be present. Be present with your kids, with yourself and with God. Get quiet and still. Allow space for God to speak. Accept what is and find the beauty in it. Be patient with yourself, with your circumstances and with God. Let go of the past and the future. What matters today is what you do right now. Just do the next right thing. Remember, wholeness is not a destination but confidence in the One who created us. So, don't run from brokenness God is at work in it. Be expectant. Be patient Look for God in your brokenness and you will find Him. Anchor yourself to Him and wait. You are closer to wholeness than you ever thought. Find us on Facebook and on Instagram and at www.SoloParentSociety.com.

Unexpected circumstances can shake anyone’s confidence. If you’ve lost a sense of strength and identity, you are not alone. You can overcome what you’ve lost and find your confidence again. When others attack us verbally or with their actions, we can internalize it and feel like a failure. When we are a single parent, we sometimes lack confidence in being enough for our kids because we are not both mom and dad. We may feel like we don’t measure up because we are parenting alone. Often, as humans, our confidence is misplaced anyway. We look to outside parameters to define how we feel about ourselves. We give other people the power to shift our self-esteem because we look to them to know who we are and to define if we are valued or not. Being divorced just highlights these insecurities and can increase our tendency to seek approval from others. But this is not where confidence is found. We need to know who we are and find our true identity but often the roots of insecurity go deep into our past and become echoed by our current circumstances. There are two important things to keep in mind when seeking to find confidence again: You are not enough You have to change what you measure Get the complete show notes and links here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/08/25/how-to-find-confidence/

We did a survey last year with our single parents, and one of the number one things that people are interested in is the idea of dating again.  We know that everybody is different, and there’s no right or wrong answer necessarily.  So we thought it would be helpful to have a panel discussion from those of us that have actually “found love again”. One thing we can all attest to is that there is hope relationally for us again. So we got together and shared notes on our dating experiences and came up with our ‘war stories' and shared what we are calling our ‘screening methods’ - (you know what we are talking about if you have tried to date again).  We broke some dating issues down into three categories and shared an example of each. Red flags (non-negotiables) Yellow flags – (not for me - but I would pass him/her on to a friend )  Green flags (this is a keeper).  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

In this episode, we explore the journey towards embracing confidence in our competence as solo parents.  We discuss: The transition from dual-parent households to solo parenting due to divorce or the death of a spouse Adapting to new responsibilities and becoming a multifaceted parent Challenging traditional masculine/feminine roles in parenting Addressing children's comments on differing parenting styles Overcoming feelings of shame and comparison to the other parent Navigating both big and small challenges in solo parenting with confidence For all the detailed show notes, tips, and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything… it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID"When I Talk to God, I Talk About You" is available now at PenguinRandomHouse.com

On this podcast, we talk a lot about what we can do to grow in our lives. Whether that be physically growing stronger, emotionally growing stronger, spiritually growing stronger, or even relationally growing stronger… inevitably, all of us at one time or another, get impeded by things that come up in our life. Some things are within our control, and some things are not.  How do we address those things in our life that hinder our growth, keep us stuck, or even have us moving backward toward bad habits or destructive behaviors?  Well, it starts with identifying what those things are - So today, we’re going to walk through ways to identify things that hinder our growth so that we can be aware of them, avoid them, or in some cases, directly confront them. Click here for the detailed show notes, tips and links  Visit to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE -ANDROID

As single parents, we’ve all been hurt. In some way, shape, or form, we have all been the recipient of an offense. Sometimes, our tendency is just to move on, wash our hands of a situation and try to pick up the pieces and move forward. Some of us get stuck on the offense, and as a result, we fall deeper into resentment and start defining ourselves as victims. We can start believing the story we tell ourselves that we are just destined to be taken advantage of, which ends up hurting us more. From a faith perspective, we’ve all heard the narrative of how important it is to forgive. But why is it important? Is forgiveness really necessary when sometimes it feels like the person that caused the offense is not worth our time, effort or grace. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotionalDownload our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

For many of us, Christmas has always been something that we look forward to—especially being parents. But being a single parent, after going through a divorce, never having been married, or after losing a spouse to death, holidays can open up wounds that we may never have even thought were there. So, we want to spend some time this month focusing on those wounds and trying to re-orient ourselves back to the meaning and intent of the season. To try to make it the most meaningful experience we can. As difficult as the seasons can be for us, they can be very confusing and challenging for kids, so how can we make the most of this Christmas season, both for ourselves and our kids. This month as we talk about holidays and Christmas, we take time to focus on Advent. As we know, it is broken into four traditions, Hope, Love, Joy, and Peace. ADVENT, by definition a time of ‘expectant waiting’ - which doesn’t sound fun - nobody likes to wait… But there can be hope, even found in waiting. So today, we focus on the first tradition - HOPE - with our friends and Solo moms, Elizabeth Cole and Marissa Lee. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

In this episode, we will gain valuable insights into the complexities of parenting alone when our children make bad choices. The stakes are high, and it can be challenging to strike a balance between being a supportive and nurturing parent while enforcing rules and boundaries. The lack of a sounding board or partner in the house makes this even more difficult. To provide expert guidance on this topic, we welcome back special guest Dr. Meg Meeker. Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician, mother/grandmother, best-selling author, and the country’s leading authority on parenting and children and teens’ health. We deep-dive into parenting alone and how to maintain a healthy relationship with our children while enforcing rules and boundaries. Dr. Meeker shares her wealth of knowledge and experience, providing practical tips and strategies for communicating effectively with our children, establishing clear boundaries, and holding our kids accountable for their actions without being overly strict or authoritarian. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID "When I Talk to God, I Talk About You" is available now at PenguinRandomHouse.com

One of the more challenging parts of being a single parent, is trying to figure out how to make things work financially. When we are primarily responsible for the welfare and health of our kids, the financial burden can feel overwhelming. So as we start this new year and talk about approaching a few foundational parts of our life differently. Finances must be one of the issues close to, if not the top of the list. This week we have a #1 New York Times bestselling author and financial expert, Rachel Cruze, to talk about All Things New: Finding financial peace. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

One of the things we hear more than anything else at Solo Parent is how so many of us deal with codependency. In one way or another, we've lost ourselves, our identity, our purpose, and our voice because we have revolved our world around making someone else happy to make us feel whole. There are a lot of things that we could talk about related to courage, but maybe nothing more critical than establishing how to have courage as a codependent to discover wholeness again, so that we can have our own voice and identity moving forward. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links groups, info, and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As uncomfortable as it can be to talk about it, it is essential to talk about OUR money - (or lack thereof). When we lose our financial partner through a divorce or death, it can feel isolating and overwhelming to figure out our finances alone. Today hosts Robert Beeson, and Marissa Lee discuss Solo Parent hacks related to managing our finances.

The idea of ‘having balance’ seems impossible as a single parent. Typically our physical needs are at the bottom of the list of priorities. The problem with that is that is not sustainable - and just like a car that we never get serviced or the oil changed, inevitably we will find eventually ourselves in crisis. Small maintenance steps can equal longer, healthier outcomes. Physical balance effects everything else ion our lives - we must move towards wellness before we hit physical crisis.

When the foundation we built for our home and family gets destroyed, whether through a divorce, the death of a spouse, or even the unexpected, life-altering news that you are going to parent alone, it can lead to a real sense of despair. Feelings of failure and unworthiness can permeate our minds. For many of us, it’s a natural stretch to have a sense of worth in brokenness when it feels like all we have are the scraps or pieces of what ‘used to be’… and the exhaustion of trying to keep those pieces together. As we talk about often, it is in these moments that we are closer - or maybe it is better said - God is closer to our brokenheartedness. But how do we actualize a sense of empowerment when we are struggling to just get by? Our guest today is Toni Collier the founder of an international women’s ministry called Broken Crayons Still Color, which helps women process through brokenness and get to hope. She is a Speaker, Host, and Author of Brave Enough to be Broken. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

You may be familiar with the book "The Five Love Languages," which states that each person has a primary love language. This means the way they receive love is unique, including our kids. As single parents, it's easy to miss our kids' love language while trying to keep everything together. To effectively show our love, it's important to tune into their love language and understand the best way to communicate it to them. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID "When I Talk to God, I Talk About You" is available now at PenguinRandomHouse.com

For many of us single parents, the solo season can be like a season in the wilderness. Feeling like we’ve lost our way, we’ve lost our direction. And from day to day, feeling unseen and like there’s a little hope. We also know and have seen as a ministry that this can be one of the most transformational times for us spiritually. But it’s hard to ignore the feeling that so many of us have of just being stuck in so many ways, including spiritually. So how do we move from just walking day-to-day through this wilderness to unleashing the most important, transformational spiritual growth that we have encountered in our life. Because that is precisely what can happen, God changes us in struggle. Today we have a special guest, Kristi Mclelland, a professor, a biblical culturalist, an author, and now a host of an incredible podcast here on AccessMore called Pearls. She has a Master's Degree in Christian Education from Dallas Theological Seminary and has dedicated her life to teaching people how to study the Bible. So, we are excited to get into this conversation about unleashing your spiritual growth. Click here for the detailed show notes, tips and links.  Click to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book Join our daily meditational devotional. Download our free app - APPLE - ANDROID

Let’s face it, as single parents, and we are all carrying relational baggage and unhealthy habits around that we can pass on to our kids. Many of us have, unfortunately, modeled what unhealthy, toxic relationships look like with our exes. And sometimes, even after divorce from toxic situations, we continue in our unhealthy beliefs and approaches to relationships. If we have lost a spouse to death, that trauma may keep us avoiding risking relationships again, or maybe we foster relationships built just on loneliness… Whatever the case, we want the best for our kids… We don’t want them to have to go through the relational struggles that we have. Here’s the thing, if we don’t teach them healthy relationship skills, they will and are learning about relationships from somewhere else… movies, friends, social media…Our kids are always watching, curious, and wondering… so how can we teach them healthy relationship skills when we doubt our abilities to be in healthy relationships.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

It is important to be deliberate about growing but equally important is paying attention to the little steps that cumulatively make big changes. Here are the questions we asked our solos that we discussed. Take time to reflect on your joinery and write down you answers. We would love to see your answers if you feel comfortable and post them on our social media pages. Email your answers to the questions to info@SPSociety.org What are 2 areas that you recognize growth / accomplishments in your life in the last 12 months? What has been the hardest area of growth for you? What has been a surprising area of growth in your life in the last year? What has circumstance has caused the greatest growth recently? What area of life do you think God is growing you in right now?

We regularly hear from single parents who have experienced abuse of some kind and sometimes from more than one perpetrator. The pain of trauma is so deep and life-altering, is it possible to forgive those who hurt us? Therapists Laurie and Bill Lokey share their perspectives on this significant and complex question. Laurie Lokey is a licensed counselor who has worked at Onsite Workshops for ten years and in private practice in middle Tennessee. Her husband, Bill Lokey served as the senior clinical director for Onsite Workshops supervising over seventy therapists throughout the United States. Bill shares that defining trauma is fraught with preconceptions. Some think of trauma as life-threatening events, and those events do create trauma in our brain as well as emotional pain, but trauma is broader. Bill says trauma involves emotional and physical pain as well as a sense of helplessness. Trauma sets us up to feel continually unsure of our safety and to be on high alert all the time. Our bodies are in a state of constant readiness to react even when there is no actual threat. Trauma can feel very crazy-making because our reactions are often bigger than what a situation warrants. Those with trauma are on edge and this reactivity makes relationships challenging. Recognizing trauma triggers is part of the journey to heal, as is the process of grieving. Trauma is interesting because we are each impacted differently by events that happen so even when two people experience the same thing, they process and store the information uniquely. A sense of helplessness is often a contributor to how our bodies respond to trauma and impacts how we are triggered. When we are triggered by a seemingly separate or random event, where we feel afraid and unsafe, we react from the limbic part of our brain and go into fight or flight mode. When we get grounded again and back in our rational brain, we often think, “What happened? Why did I react that way?” Laurie says she had to learn that pain wouldn’t kill her but not looking at trauma would. She says, avoiding it cost Laurie her first marriage. Laurie shares that it’s not just big “T” trauma events like sexual abuse or devastating car accidents but it is also the impact of little “t” trauma, the chronic daily experience of not enough or too much of something. In our lifetime, these experiences, both big T and little t trauma, add up. Untangling trauma includes processing the big T and the little t experiences that leave us feeling helpless where there was no one to protect us. And this involves so much grief. We may see dysfunctional or destructive patterns of behavior in our own lives yet be reluctant to identify trauma as a root cause because of the shame we feel. Maybe we blame ourselves and think we are responsible for what happened to us. Some of the voices in our head may tell us we caused the abuse because we were “promiscuous” or never said “No”. “Brilliant resilience” is how Laurie Lokey describes some of the coping strategies trauma sufferers develop. Children find ways to get what they need and try to decrease their pain in whatever ways they can. The eating disorder she developed at twelve years old was one of those ways as she tried to receive nurture when it wasn’t available through other healthy ways. When we have experienced trauma, big or small, what is needed is healing connections with safe others including God. But the challenge for trauma sufferers is being able to move toward healthy connection when trust is difficult to find. There are benefits when you engage in the process though. For the detailed show notes, tips and links go to SoloParentSociety.com Receive...

Many of us feel ill-equipped to be single parents already. When faced with the responsibility of teaching and guiding our kids, we can feel in over our heads. Some of us never handled money in our relationship so this is new territory for us. Others don’t feel like we have a handle on our finances ourselves so how can we teach and pass down to our kids’ important lessons about money. We know it's important but many of us feel the need for resources on how to do that. Most of us are not experts! How and where do we start? Single mom, Elizabeth, works at Ramsey Solutions and shares her insight and experience. First, Elizabeth reminds us that money can be an overwhelming subject that sometimes triggers shame or feelings of inadequacy for anyone but especially single parents. Often, single parents are just keeping their heads above water and when you don’t feel like you have enough to budget, many think why budget at all? However, there are some lessons we can teach our kids regardless of our specific situation. Smart Money, Smart Kids One of the lessons parents can take to heart from "Smart Money, Smart Kids" written by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze is that it’s better for kids to learn lessons about money when they are living with their parents rather than learning the hard way later on. Teaching them small but important money principles while they are in our house can help prevent them from making huge mistakes that could haunt them for years when they are out on their own. You don’t have to teach them everything at once! You can spread out age-appropriate lessons as they grow up. Age-appropriate lessons For example, at ages 3-5 years old you want to consider what type of chores they can do around the house. Even two or three small things like putting their cereal bowl in the sink in the morning and picking up their dirty clothes each day can teach them responsibility. When they complete these chores, reward them, and teach them early that hard work is something to be proud of. At ages 6-13, they can do more daily chores and you can reward them with more on a weekly basis. You want to create a “real world mentality” that teaches them that if you work, you get paid and if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. Once they turn 14, you want to send them out of the house and let them earn money through babysitting, mowing lawns, and finding their first job at a grocery store or local business. They can open a bank account and began depositing their checks and budgeting their money for their own expenses like saving up for a car, contributing to auto insurance, and paying for gas or other special items they want for themselves. Share, don’t scare Just like we need to learn about money through intentional steps one building block at a time, the same applies to our kids. As you are learning how to budget and track expenses, invite your kids into that conversation. Rachel Cruze says, “Share, don’t scare”. Sit with your kids and help them understand the concept of budgeting and if we choose to buy one thing, we won’t be able to choose another thing. Help create a healthy reality around money by discussing it openly in age-appropriate ways. For the full show notes and links click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/10/26/teaching-kids-about-money/

As single parents, sometimes our schedules and all the tactical things we have to get done can eat up our time and suddenly we find that we don't have time for God. We can get disconnected from a sense of spiritual balance and lose our sense of belonging. Often, we may not feel connected to anything, which can make us isolate even more. There are many things that can create a disconnection from God. Sometimes we go to other people or things for our security and connection point. We can create idols without even realizing it. Sometimes we feel forgotten, broken and end up feeling nothing. We can feel so damaged that we wonder so why would anyone want us and that we are a disappointment to God. So we wonder where we do we even fit anymore.  So how do we get back to the place of finding true spiritual balance or alignment - for some of us maybe for the first time. Spiritual balance isn't just about memorizing Bible verses. It's about true connection. This comes from embracing two components: Spiritual identity Spiritual connection Spiritual identity is working toward connection based on whose we are. It's operating from our actual identities instead of the false identities we tend to create. Before we became physical beings, we were actually spiritual beings. We're a soul with a temporary body. As we grow up, the we take on new identities based on how the world sees us. An identity built from shame, burden, performance, family, career, etc. All of these physical and emotional things can become our identities. They cover up the real "you" - who God created us to be. We start letting the physical and emotional things become our identities, but they aren't healthy identities. When those things are taken away, it's extremely uncomfortable. We don't know who we are anymore. But God wants us like this - He wants us dependent on Him instead of those other things. Those things aren't as important as we think they are. Those things being taken away can be the most important thing to ever happen to us. The reason for that is God wants us to know His love is based on who we are, not what we do. We are deeply loved daughters and sons. This is our true identity. Keeping your true identity front and center can be difficult. Some ways to do this are: Writing affirmations or reminders of who we are and posting them around the house and office. Or just speaking the truth out loud. These can combat the lies that are always flying around. Once we are more in tune with who we are, we can begin to open ourselves up for Spiritual Connection. But we have to create intentional space to do this - schedule your priorities. Once we create space in our schedules, it's important to learn the ways we connect. Connection can happen in journaling as a prayer to God and being completely vulnerable with Him. Another is through worship music. Meditation, visualization and being still can also help us connect in a deep way. If you're just starting off and need to take a first step, start by being more still. Lean in and ask God to show you what He's trying to teach you in this time of growth and learning. God is glorified in your weakness and He will make all things perfect. Focus on getting to the core of your spiritual identity and then find intimate connection. Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety 

The world is a divisive and polarized society. We’re all guilty of sharing our opinion and trying to convince someone else we’re right – even our kids do it. No one has any peace. So what do we do? Are we supposed to keep the peace or are we supposed to create peace? What is the difference and what is our responsibility? For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything… it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As a single parent, life can seem completely out of balance. Too much of everything else... Not enough of you.  Today - best selling author, certified business coach, speaker, Dave Ramsey personality and daughter of a single mom, Christy Wright walks us through transformational steps we can take to find balance when everything seems out of control. Find out more about Christy here - https://www.businessboutique.com

So we’ve just made it past another Christmas, we’re headed right into a brand new year, and for many of us single parents, this final topic of Advent, PEACE, can be very far from something that we feel regarding the future. Especially living in the days that we’re living in right now today. So we are incredibly honored to have a guest that we quote with us all the time, and through her writing and speaking, she has had a lot to say about this topic. Our guest this week is Ann Voskamp. She is the author of five NY TIMES best-selling books, including ‘One Thousand Gifts’, which has sold over a million copies and been translated into more than 22 languages. Ann is Mom to seven, wife to a farmer and as Kim will be first to point out is Canadian. In this episode, we discuss how to find peace amidst loss and walking into the unknown, among many other things. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

In today's episode, we dive deep into the importance of rest as a foundation for personal growth. Single parents carry immense mental, emotional, and physical burdens. Although it may seem like a luxury, personal growth is essential for healing and thriving. Join us as we discuss the concept of rest beyond merely getting 6-8 hours of sleep each night. We challenge the belief that "I'll rest when I die" and explore how true rest can act as the bedrock for growth and well-being. Our guest Curtis (CZ) Zachary, author and pastor, shares his insights on rest and its role in fostering personal growth for single parents. We learn practical strategies for incorporating rest into our daily life and unlocking our potential for growth, healing, and resilience. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID 

We all have heard the saying ‘we can’t give what we don’t have'. So we can feel stuck in this difficulty of knowing that we don’t have our own sense of peace… so how can we help instill that in our kids. As we often say, it’s one thing to deal with struggles ourselves; it’s an entirely different thing, a heart-wrenching thing to watch our kids struggle. Any single parent wants their child, or children, to have a sense of certainty, to have a sense of peace even in the midst of less than optimal situations. So how do we help our kids find that sense of peace and avoid the emotional instability that so many of us suffer from ourselves?Fortunately for us Dr. Chip Dodd is here to guide us. Chip has been so foundational to so much of what we do here. For 30 years, he has poured his life into serving others through counseling, speaking, and writing best-selling books like 'The Voice of the Heart.' The bedrock of what he does is helping us discover ourselves and live fully in relationship with others and, ultimately, with God.GET CHIP’S NEW KIDS BOOK - How Are You Feeling Today? For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Many of us can feel guilty because we're not sticking to a Bible reading or prayer time in the morning like we used to. When we think about spiritual discipline in our lives, we often go to shame, like we are not a good Christian because we had difficulty having quiet time every morning. Well, this episode isn’t about shame; in fact, today, we’re not going to talk about comparing our quiet time as a measure of what a good Christian we are or if God is happy with the time we are putting in. We are going to explore perhaps a new way of approaching spiritual discipline. What if spiritual discipline goes beyond the intellectual exercise of reading and praying, as many of us have been taught? What if our spiritual discipline wasn’t about fulfilling what God or the Church’s expectation of us are, but was actually a deep soul self-care? Our guest is Anthony Skinner, a Spiritual Director, Prayer, Meditation, Enneagram practitioner, Music and Podcast Producer, award-winning Songwriter, Recording Artist, and Worship Leader, and cohost of the popular Typology Podcast (over 20 million downloads). He is also the guy behind a devotional and meditation program called “Shamah Way”, which is so appropriate for this topic of spiritual discipline as self care.  For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Shamah way - shamahway.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book  Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID Solo Parent Society is brought to you in part by Talk About. Use Promo Code SOLOPARENT to get 1 month free at TalkAboutDiscipleship.com.

Parenting alone is so hard. Often we feel isolated and ‘out there on our own’. We know that God says that He is with us, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel that way.  Katie Haseltine is a spiritual director, a certified Enneagram and self-care coach, and author of “All the Things: A 30 Day Guide to Experiencing God’s Presence in the Prayer of Examen.” She was always looking for what was right, the correct theology, and figuring things out, while at the same time experiencing a lot of difficulty and suffering in her daily life. She was finding out that life wasn’t adding up the way she thought it would or how she had been taught. She struggled with finding peace and comfort in her relationship with God.  Katie began exploring her personal connection to God in ways that went beyond just “doing the right things” which is what she had focused on for most of her faith journey. As she started working with people, she found many who were burnt out on religion, who felt like a failure, and like they never had the time, energy, or smarts to understand what “this” is all about. She knew there had to be another way.  Katie’s definition of self-care is that it’s “a spiritual practice that removes the barriers to our ability to accept, receive, and give back love”. She says, “When we don’t take care of ourselves, we miss how God is speaking to us. If you are harried, exhausted, guilty, frustrated, overwhelmed, or resentful, there is no way you can see the unlimited gifts that God gives us every day.” And, whether we can see it or not, God is doing that. Often it is our unmet needs that get in the way of our ability to see those gifts of love.   For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com For more about Katie visit KatieHaseltine.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Our theme this month is community and what better place to start than talking about the community we create in our weekly Solo Parent Society groups. Life is so full of surprises as single parents, the last thing we may want to do is jump into something unknown with potential strangers and sharing. We hear from so many single parents that they love the idea of Solo Parent Society, but they’re scared to join. And this makes sense! After hurt, you want to guard your heart and it can feel uncomfortable.  We know community is important. It can be very intimidating jumping into something out of our comfort zone. Who will be in the group? Will there be people with ulterior motives?  Today we are taking a glimpse into what happens in our groups and what single parents can expect. When Solo Parent Society first started, our groups met in person in different places across the U.S. When Covid hit, our groups stopped meeting until one of our leaders, single mom, Elizabeth, approached Robert and asked about starting an online group. That was the beginning of a new way of doing things at Solo Parent Society. We now have online groups meeting, seven days a week, attended by single parents from all over the U.S., Canada, New Zealand, Uganda, London and more.    What’s it like to join a Solo Parent Society group in person? For the full show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com Download our free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book.  Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Divorce, unplanned pregnancy, death of a spouse, or leaving an abusive relationship can shake our sense of who we are. So much of our identity gets wrapped up in the roles we play, and we sometimes let our value be defined by external circumstances. Four things that can help when it comes to knowing our value is 1) reverence, 2) refuting lies, 3) replacing lies and 4) remembering the truth . Reverence Value starts with reverence, ascribing worth and honor to God. This is the most important anchor point for our value. We have a Creator who sits on a throne. To understand ourselves, we must understand Who created us. We are not mistakes. When we know and believe that God is real, powerful, and praiseworthy, it helps us realize our value too. We were intentionally designed for a purpose by our Creator. This is the foundation of our value. Our value starts with God. Knowing Him helps us understand ourselves and our value. Solo Parent Society founder, Robert Beeson, began to reverence God  more when he began to make space to just get still before Him. As a single dad, he found himself questioning things and needing rest. Ultimately, he started asking God to help him in his unbelief. In those quiet, honest moments, he began to realize how big God is and how powerful He is. In the stillness, he started to reverence God and to realize that God put him on this earth for a reason. He started to realize his value in a deeper way. Nothing we say or do changes our value. Our greatest accomplishments or failures do not affect our value. We are made in God’s image, covered by His grace, and empowered by His presence. We are His and we belong to Him. This is the most amazing testament to our value. We were created in love by our Divine Creator. Refuting lies To recognize our value, we must also be able to refute lies. Each of us has been damaged in some way by false beliefs about ourselves, lies we’ve been told or believed from our family of origin, a significant other, former spouse, or other people. These voices diminish our value, so we need to identify what those voices are saying and recognize them as lies. The enemy wants us to believe the lies. He has come only to “steal, kill, and destroy”. As lies confront us, we must ask instead, “Who does God say you are?”. Sometimes we feel comfortable believing lies. We get so used to them, they become normal. The truth can be more difficult for us to believe but we must intentionally identify lies and refute them. What is one lie you need to refute? For the complete show notes with links, click here-https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/11/02/worth-recovering-our-value/

Mathew 22:37-40 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  We hear that loving our neighbors is a command that Jesus himself highlighted for us. But we live in a culture that has become very isolated. Safe distancing has been necessary for health but detrimental to connection and giving love to others. So how do we become love towards others? How do we follow the command of Jesus and love our neighbors in a culture that has become every man for himself, it seems.  Today we welcome our guest who not only speaks about this, but is a living example of giving love. Bob Goff has spent decades as an attorney. These days, he calls himself a "recovering lawyer" because after practicing law for 25 years, then becoming the Honorary Consul to Uganda, he gave up his law firm to pursue writing and speaking full time. He's a New York Times bestselling author several times over, including 'Love Does' and 'Everybody, Always', and has a popular podcast right here on AccessMore. For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

All of us have had to face hard stuff, scary stuff. And most of us might feel like we just scraped by. That’s why we are stopping to reflect on some of your stories this week. You are doing better than you think. Most of us beat up on ourselves, so we want to shine a spotlight… or get you to shine a spotlight on those times you have faced really scary stuff and shown more courage than you may have given yourself credit for. The discipline of remembering has come up time and time again in this podcast, the simple act of remembering can propel us forward. So that is what we are going to do this week.  We asked single parents to reflect on an example of a time in their life when they had to exhibit courage in one of the following ways: Courage to Surrender Courage to Keep Going Courage to Embrace Chaos Courage to Be Silent It is essential to be deliberate about looking for the glimpses that God gives that sometimes exceed what we thought possible. So, as you hear these stories, we encourage you to take a few minutes this week and jot down YOUR answers to these questions available in the complete show notes.For the full show notes, tips and links click visit https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/08/22/you-re-braver-than-you-think-solo-stories-of-courageReceive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book clickJoin our daily meditational devotionalDownload our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Merry Christmas!!

To move forward after we’ve experienced hurt in our lives, we need to forgive and let go. But letting go is far from easy.  Letting go and having a painful emotional state lifted is a process and one that is relevant and necessary for everyone, not just single parents. We’ve all been hurt, and a natural reaction is to want to protect ourselves from future pain. We do this by holding on to the pain of the past to remind us not to risk going through that again. But this control is just an illusion. Even with our best efforts, we can’t avoid the possibility of future hurt yet we hang on tight to our hurts hoping that the memory will keep us from being vulnerable again. If we forget, we might get hurt again. Protecting ourselves feels like our number one priority. But relationships require risk so we must let go if we want to live into our future and open opportunities to connect in meaningful ways again. Accepting that hurts are a normal part of life is necessary, and that acceptance opens the door to being able to let go.  Letting go is difficult when you are still in contact with a person who has hurt you or someone you love. It can be triggering to engage with that person especially if their behavior continues. Even if hurts aren’t happening anymore, we can still hang on. And sometimes, we have a hard time letting go of mistakes we’ve made or shame we are carrying but letting go is important if we are to move on with freedom and health.  Letting go is a process and a necessary one as we are healing. To let go and move into freedom and health, there are three things we can do to help with this process, and these are things we can do daily:  Confession Surrender Patience To read the full show notes click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/09/09/3-steps-to-letting-go/

“What strikes me about Jesus is he is a remarkably true person. He never changes his personality to fit in with whatever crowd he finds himself. He is simply himself. He never plays to his audience. " Author, leader, and therapist, John Eldredge spoke with Robert Beeson and Kimberley Mitchell about the value of building a healthy core community. John emphasizes that Jesus chose to have a core community. He modeled its importance during his ministry on earth. We see this when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane, the crucible of his life. He asked his disciples to be there with him and to stay with him. Then he invited three of them in even closer, to be part of his inner circle. Jesus’, God in human form, demonstrated the need to have a few people in our life with whom we can be our authentic selves. Jesus provides this example but today it seems as if a close core community is hard to develop. John shares that we are busy, often isolated, and prioritizing the wrong things. Many relationships are impacted by social media. As a therapist for thirty years, John knows the value of face to face human connection. Today, he discusses priorities we can all look for in building a core community. For the full show notes and links click here - https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/07/27/building-a-healthy-core-community/

Many single parents struggle with feeling confident. Whether rooted in messages we received in childhood, or the experiences we’ve had in past relationships, confidence can elude us. Sometimes we just don’t feel like we are enough. Single mom, Marissa, joins Robert and Kimberley as they talk about how to grow in confidence. Staring down the road of so many unknowns as a single parent can leave us wondering if we have what it takes. When Marissa became a single mom, she cried out to God and said, “I can’t do this and here’s why”, and God said, “Let me show you that we can. Let me show you that it’s going to be okay, but you’re right, you can’t, but I can.” Recently, she had shoulder surgery and while once she might have thought, “How will I ever do this on my own?”, she’s found that it’s been remarkable to discover that now she is confident God will show up with what she needs. Being thrust into single parenthood, often unexpectedly, we don’t always go into our new circumstances with full confidence. Sometimes we enter, like Marissa did, with eroded confidence already. She shares what it was like to take those first steps. The first thing was simply to wake up the next day and then do it again the day after that. When we are wounded, our heads are still spinning and we can’t see clearly. We need to focus on just waking up, but as time passes, and weeks become months and then years, we find out we are making progress. As single parents, oftentimes we want to find the strength within ourselves. We think that’s where we will find confidence. But, more important than that is knowing that when push comes to shove, our kids will eat and we will make it through to tomorrow, not because of our own strength but because of the people who will come around us. Often when we think of self-confidence, we think it means self-reliance. That’s not what we are talking about here. The challenge of having to parent alone can become a strength because we realize we can’t do it on our own. It leads us to turn to God as our greatest source of confidence and strength. When we don’t know what to do, when our circumstances seem too big for us, we find ourselves having to turn to God and admit our need for Him and for other people. For complete show notes click - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/04/29/how-to-grow-in-confidence For more about Solo Parent Society - https://bit.ly/SPSZoomWelcome

The magic of Christmas is gone. The decorations have to be pulled down and we’ve got bills to pay to cover another Christmas season. We are on the brink of a brand new year, which can feel daunting for some of us. For many of us, our situation hasn’t changed, and although New Year’s day symbolizes a new beginning, a new year… So many things feel the same. The reality of our situation can make looking at a new year almost an exhausting and depressing event. But, like we say every week on this podcast, we always want to end in a place of hope. So for those of us not walking into a new year naturally feeling a sense of hope, what can we do to ground ourselves with a foundation of hope walking into the new year?  For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org Get your FREE - ZAKAR jar label Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

The idea of 'having balance' seems impossible as a single parent. Typically our physical needs are at the bottom of the list of priorities. The problem with that is that is not sustainable - and just like a car that we never get serviced or the oil changed, inevitably we will find eventually ourselves in crisis. Small maintenence steps can equal longer, healthier outcomes. Physical balance effects everything else ion our lives - we must move towards wellness before we hit physical crisis. It's more than just working out or eating right, we want to look at this a little more holistically so we have broken physical balance into 3 very simple categories: Fuel / What we put in our body Rest - recharging Activity  The idea is if we can just start taking even one (or by all means more) simple, proactive steps in each one of these categories we will move towards balance. Here are some simple ideas to move towards physical balance: FUEL / WHAT WE PUT IN OUR BODIES Stay away from late night snack Drink enough water - It fills you up Healthy snack on hands - vegetables ,  hummus, cheese, nuts, fruit Portable snacks with you - in the car - granola bars Avoid fast food - make it a reward, not a regular Cook bulk on weekend and store so you are not tempted to just pick up fast food Research and take supplements REST Nap when kids are napping - even when there are things that need to get done Turn off screens after nine - again I thought of it as reward to be able to relax ('my time') but ended up staying too late "Your bedroom is a sanctuary, not a family room," says single-parent expert Leah Klungness, Ph.D., who believes single parents should lock the bedroom door, guilt-free. "Once your children are beyond the toddler phase, it is a good idea to get a timer and teach your children to leave you alone for three to five minutes to start with, giving you time to decompress with a quick shower or some breathing exercises." ACTIVITY Walking                   Find a friend once a week and commit to walk together                   Walk on lunch breaks instead of sitting Plan outdoor activities with kids                    Go outside and toss a ball                    Go to the park Join a gym Get an activity tracker Let it out!                    Let your anger and frustration out - get a punching bag One popular website talks about creating your own dance party                   Crank up the music and move This not by any means an exhaustive list - In fact, leave comments on other ideas...  but, let's all commit to just finding one thing in each category and move towards physical balance. We can at least do that and build from there.  Join our community https://FaceBook.com/SoloParentSociety

Forgiveness sounds good on paper, and it is a command in the Bible, but in reality, it is so hard. Why is that? Sometimes, our perspective is that it isn’t fair, and we feel like we’re letting the person off the hook when we forgive. How can we change our perspective on forgiveness to be more willing to embrace it?  Today, we cover three main points:  1) What forgiveness costs us 2) How to change your perspective on forgiveness 3) What the Biblical perspective on forgiveness is really about  For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Parenting is meant to be a team sport, but now we find ourselves having to do it alone. Often we ourselves already feel beat up, defeated, and even like a failure, so to parent from that position, with no checks and balances, can seem overwhelming. Knowing that parenting in and of itself is hard, we can find ourselves wondering, "How can I raise healthy kids on my own when it is designed to done as a team with my spouse.?" To address this pervasive fear, Solo Parent Society has pulled together 5 anchoring approaches to help raise healthy kids. These are not behavior modifiers for correction; rather, these are simple but profoundly helpful approaches to developing successful and healthy adults. Giving focus and deliberate effort to instilling these principles while our kids are in our care will better prepare them for their own enriched lives as adults. We call them our 5 R's: RELATIONSHIP This principle is paramount to all the others. We must teach (and model) the value and power of healthy relationships. Teaching our kids what healthy relational dynamics look like includes: -Learn that people are all different -Our emotions in conflict shouldn't match others who are elevated (Staying calm and not reactionary) -The power of really listening -There is a time to keep our mouths shut -Allowing them to teach us - and when they do TELL THEM -Pursue peoples hearts, not compliance RESPECT In a society that seems to have lost this fundamental principle, we must teach (and model) the importance of honoring others. It starts with them showing respect for our position in their lives - our job is to keep them safe, their job is to be a kid. Showing respect goes just beyond the parent-child relationship to include: -All of those in authority - adults, the other parent, teachers, government as examples. It is OK to differ from those in authority but it is critical to show respect. -The opposite sex - teach chivalry -Other races, traditions and people with differing opinions -Honoring others by making eye contact, shaking hands and being comfortable making conversation RULES While relationship and respect are fundamental principles, we must teach that in life, there are absolutes. Everything we do costs something - there is a cost to not being able to do whatever we want whenever we want it, there is also sometimes a more significant cost to getting our way all the time... called consequences. Rules and consequences are essential to teach the way the real world works, but always remember rules without relationship (trust) equals rebellion. RESPONSIBILITY Helping our kids develop an independent and contributing mindset is an investment into their future. Teaching them to fish over just bringing them a fish helps guide them into strong individuals. We can do this by showing them: -There are things they can do on their own -Helping out around the house develops a contributing mindset -The importance of a good work ethic - we work hard to accomplish what we want RISK Along with all the other principles teaching them that taking risks are an essential part of life. Embracing the famous quote, "What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?" -Failure is not bad - failure is often the best teacher, especially while they are in a safe place... in our care. -Teach our kids through modeling and discussing the importance of taking chances. These R's are not meant to be the exhaustive list of do's and don'ts - the point is to be deliberate about what we are investing into our kids' lives to mold them into successful and healthy adults. The goal is not to just correct our kids into compliant children but to guide them with anchoring principles that develop their character.

So much of the time, we feel like we have no direction for our life. There are so many responsibilities it is hard to see a vision for our lives beyond everyday maid, cook, nurse and rule enforcer for our kids.  ?Our story or trauma, co-dependency, and hurt keep us looking outward. As a result, we tend to focus on external circumstances. We know to move forward in health, we need to have an accurate view of ourselves - but the truth is - introspection can be scary. We ask ourselves, why do I want to stay/focus on all the negative aspects of my life? Fortunately for us today, we have a guest who is a world-renowned expert in precisely this area. We learn that there are positive things we can expect to discover in the process of introspection, to become at peace with who we are and deal with the complicated aspects of our past? Our guest is Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer of an innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy. For over 30 years, the Allender Theory has brought healing and transformation to hundreds of thousands of lives by bridging the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse that mark so many. He founded The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, The Allender Center, and is a best-selling author of 9 books, including his latest “Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling.” He also hosts a podcast with over 2 million downloads.  For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

After a divorce or the death of a spouse, our worlds are turned upside, and our friend circles change. We may have lost a lot of friends. As single parents, we may feel too needy and fear that new friends won’t accept us because they don’t want to deal with our baggage. Or we feel it’s too much work to find and keep friends with all we have going on. But having healthy adult friendships is really important. What can we do?  Today we will cover three main points:  1. Overcoming your friendship fears.  2. The type of healthy friendships to cultivate in your solo season.  3. Some practical relationship skills you can develop to be a good friend. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Each one of us has conflict in our lives right now in some way or another. Discovering how to have peace even during times of conflict is invaluable. The word peace appears 237 times in the Old Testament. Peace is NOT the absence of conflict. It’s the sense of well-being during conflict. The Hebrew word translated as peace is shalom. According to Strong’s Concordance, shalom means completeness, wholeness, soundness, and welfare. It comes from the root word to make amends and make whole and complete. We are not running from conflict How do we find peace and wellness even during conflict? In finding peace, there’s an action step. We can proactively make peace or seek it out. Oswald Chambers says we have to be active about kicking moods out of our lives, “Moods nearly always our rooted in some physical circumstance not in our true inner self. It is a continual struggle not to listen to the moods which arise because of our physical condition, but we must never submit to them for a second. We have to pick ourselves up by the back of the neck and shake ourselves. Then we will find that we can do what we were unable to do.” Peace is found in our internal selves and we find peace by shaping that, instead of our circumstances. A great place to start In conflict is identifying what role we are playing and how that may be getting in the way of our peace. There are 3 roles associated with conflict.  Full show notes, tips and links Click to receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE or ANDROID

This topic is ALL of our story at one point or another. At one point or another we have all thought that we were being courageous and brave, but when we look back, we say - "What was I thinking? That was so obviously stupid!" So, as we build our lives again, how do we tell the difference between courage and stupidity. Well, today, we are going to get to the bottom of this.  Courage, not stupidity, can be identified by the following characteristics that we explore in more detail. What does Jesus say about Courage? Courage is Humility. Courage seeks counsel. Courage will bear good fruit. For the full show notes, tips and links click visit SoloParentSociety.com Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

It's really hard to admit it, especially out loud, but at one point or another most of us Solo Parents have felt so low that we feel we just cant go on. Or we just don't want to go on. If we are honest, sometimes it sounds like it would be easier if we were just not here anymore. But, there is hope. Today, in a very courageous conversation, Joye Lynn discusses how she got to the place of actually pointing a loaded gun at herself and how she found the hope to not go through with ending her life. If you have ever been in the same place, know that there are people that care and want to help. Suicide is more devastating than what you are facing right now and there is hope - Please call for confidential support if you are in distress 1-800-273-8255 - National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Here are the verses that literally saved Joye's life Isaiah 41: 10-14 10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.?I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 11 "All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced;?those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.?12 Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them.?Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.?13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand?and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.?14 Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel, do not fear,?for I myself will help you," declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. Deuteronomy 31: 8-9  8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Joshua 1:9 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Psalms 23 1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he refreshes my soul.?He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake.?4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley,[a]?I will fear no evil,  for you are with me;?your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.?You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.?6 Surely your goodness and love will follow mall the days of my life,?and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalms 9: 7-10 The Lord reigns forever; he has established his throne for judgment.?8 He rules the world in righteousness and judges the peoples with equity.?9 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.?10 Those who know your name trust in you,?    for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalms 27 1 The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear??The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked advance against me to devour[a] me,?it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.?3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;?though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. 4 One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek:?that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,?to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.?5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling;?he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. 6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me;?at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.... 11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. ?12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. 13 I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the...

Feeling like we 'don't belong' is a very common thing we hear from Solo Parents. Did you know there is actually a scientific reason that people avoid single parents? Turns out there is and today, in this fascinating episode, guest Marissa Lee explains this phenomenon and how to respond.

Single parents have often gone through hard circumstances that can make them wonder if they can trust God. Divorce, death of a spouse, sometimes betrayal or abuse leave us asking, “How can we trust that the God who allows this to happen cares about us?” Sometimes we reach a place where we no longer feel comfortable trusting anyone. Going through a solo season can lead to further self-reliance and a desire to control things to avoid more hurt. It can be hard to trust anyone other than ourselves.  In talking with single parents about the solo parent journey, we find different responses to trust. But, when circumstances happen unexpectedly, it can be very hard for anyone to trust God again. Today we discuss three key steps to trusting God even when we feel like the rug has been pulled out from under us. They are:  1.Do it anyway. 2.Track God’s faithfulness. 3.Ask God for joy. For the complete show notes and links click here.  https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/08/18/finding-the-courage-to-trust-god/

So often we feel overwhelmed... like we have nothing more to give... like we are at the end of our rope. Those are the times we need to be reminded that often the antidote is to 'just do it'. Today host Kimberley Mitchell discusses jumping back into life.

As single parents, we walk around with a lot of wounds. Wounds from things people have said to or about us... in court, in arguments. Not to mention feeling 'less than' as a single parent juggling so many properties alone. Add to that, the voices in our head that remind us of regretful things we might have done. All of this can drain us of a sense of self-confidence. Today hosts Robert Beeson and Kimberley Mitchell discuss the struggle of suffering from a lack of self-confidence and offer a few 'hacks' that helped them walk through feeling the same way.

PART TWO of our conversation with Jonathan Cain, from the rock and roll hall of fame band Journey. In this episode, Jonathan dives deeper into his failed marriage, a family member's struggle with addiction, his father's death and Steve Perry leaving the band.

In this episode, we delve into the topic of having the courage to embrace change, particularly in the face of traumatic experiences such as the loss of a spouse through death or divorce. We explore the tendency to resist change and the importance of adapting and flowing with life's transitions. Our guest today is Brandi Wilson, an author, coach, and speaker who shares her personal journey as a single parent after her 20-year marriage ended in a very public way. Join us as we discuss the pain of change, effective coping strategies, and empowering ways to move forward. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog More on Brandi- lovebrandiwilson.com —> ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

If you have a teen in your house, you know the struggle is real. If you don't, more than likely you will at some point. Dealing with teens and their complex lives and attitudes can be tricky. Matt Vairetta is a Nashville based youth leader that formed a parent advisory team and asked what the top issues parents were dealing with with their teen. Then he brought together experts in the different areas to speak to parents about their primary concerns. On this episodes Matt discusses the top three issues- 'social Media', 'anxiety / stress' and 'identity' and speaks to his primary 'take aways' from the seminars he held. His full length discussions and more topics can be found on his podcast called 'Navigating Adolescence'.

As single parents we all feel like we are never enough. Truth be told - we aren't. In this REAL QUICK episode host Robert Beeson walks us through a simple exercise to help.

All this month, we are talking about LOVE. We can't think of a better way to dive into this than with the author of one of the most beloved books on the topic, REDEEMING LOVE; today we are talking with the author of REDEEMING LOVE, FRANCINE RIVERS.? REDEEMING LOVE is a life-changing story of God’s unconditional, redemptive, all-consuming love - based on the book of HOSEA. It has remained on multiple fiction bestseller lists for over 15 years and published in more than 30 languages. It is now a major feature film that was just released at the end of January 2022. (see the trailer) The author and screenwriter Francine Rivers is a New York Times bestselling author of over 30 books. Check out Francine’s newest book - The Lady’s Mine For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our daily meditational devotional Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Many of us were raised to serve and give to others, and this is biblical, but this can become unhealthy when we give so much to others, we lose ourselves in the process. This tendency to give too much, to take on too much responsibility, to own more than we should in relationships, often comes from insecurities rooted in our upbringing and hurts we’ve suffered in the past. Perhaps our experiences taught us that others would reject us or get angry if we said no so we learned to pacify or overcompensate by being too accommodating. After doing this for long enough, we can fail to recognize we are caught in a destructive cycle. Unless we put up guardrails or boundaries, we are sure to implode emotionally, bringing our well-being and our relationships down with us. Robert and Kimberley talked with single mom, Elizabeth, about how loving well includes boundaries. Sometimes we spend too much time worrying about other people’s feelings and saying yes to too many things because we’re afraid to disappoint them or have them get angry with us if we say no. While this may appear to be very giving and even seem like love, it really reflects a problem with not loving ourselves or respecting our own needs.  Saying no and having good boundaries can be challenging for those who are Christians because we are taught to put others before ourselves. When we love ourselves well, first and foremost, we are able then to give our best yes to the right things. If we say yes to everything, our yes comes to mean almost nothing. Instead of coming from a place of genuine care and love, saying yes can become a subtle form of control. Too often our yes, our overcompensation, and our over accommodation, becomes a way to please people and seek man’s approval and not God’s, and often at our own expense. We are not called to please everyone around us. We are called to please God. On today podcast we discuss 7 facets of love as a boundary. *Boundaries help us give our best yes *Boundaries require new ways of interacting *Boundaries are God’s idea *Boundaries with our kids *<span style="color: rgb(0,0,0);background-color: inherit;font-size: 12ptpx;font-family: Arial,...

With all the demands of raising kids on our own with less than optimal resources, money and time it is VERY easy to become mentally overwhelmed. To work towards emotional / mental balance it is important to identify two categories to focus on. * Things we have control over * Things we don't have control over When we face unpleasant situations it is natural to react with anger, worry, fear, anxiety etc. Finding emotional balance helps us to attain flexibility and promotes stabilization between our mind and body. In other words, emotional balance teaches us how to respond to negative emotions and thoughts without just getting stuck in them. The most important component to mental or emotional health we have complete control over - our perspective. Defining the correct perspective dictates our quality of life and is the root what we model for our kids, of how we communicate and experience every encounter and thought It starts and ends with this - God is in control - nothing has caught him off guard. We are constantly surprised - He is never. And He can be trusted with wellbeing and our ability to face anything we are facing. That being, there are things we can do that will bring balance to our emotional / mental state. First, let's identify things that we do have control over. They might be mundane things like - feeding the kids, being fully present, showing up to work, how I speak to my ex , finding community, pausing / meditation and then there are the more internal things like choosing the right perspective, being grateful, giving ourselves grace or pursuing humor. A recent healthline article offers some different approaches."The less-dominant side of your brain is the area that controls feelings of self-confidence and optimism. When you think about something other than your daily worries, you increase activity in the neural structures of that area of your brain. Reading - Beyond the mechanics, reading helps you visualize the subject matter on the pages before you, and imagine what voices sound like in the written dialogue. it can stoke the imagination and ignite so many different parts of the brain. Be positive with yourself Positive affirmation is one avenue to increased mental proficiency. Play games - Games that test reasoning and other portions of your brain are fun ways to keep your mind sharp. (Even video games)" Now let's tackle the harder side of mental balance - things we have no control over: That might be our ex's behavior, the complexities of day to day, unexpected issues - kids being sick, people's perception of what caused the divorce or how we are parenting. Here is what Psychology Today says this about facing things beyond our control. "When you find yourself worrying, take a minute to examine the things you have control over. You can't prevent a storm from coming, but you can prepare for it. You can't control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react. Recognize that, sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you'll be much more effective." We have found these questions helpful. When facing things that we may have little or NO control over ask yourself: What am I actually feeling? anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, or surprise What can I learn? Prayer - God, what are you teaching me? Whats the next right thing / response? What am I grateful for? Facebook.com/SoloParentSociety&nbsp;

Toxic shame tells us we’re not good enough. When we listen to our toxic shame, we get stuck in the blame game, and we don’t grow. Blaming others feels powerful. But blaming doesn’t get us where we want to be. How do we move from blaming to forgiving? Our guest is Dr. Chip Dodd an author, speaker, and counselor. He holds a Ph.D. in Counseling. Along with The Voice of the Heart, Dr. Dodd is the author of numerous books. Currently, he works as a counselor, consultant and speaker.&nbsp; For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Many of us experienced neglect and abuse from our family of origin–the people, whether parents, grandparents, or other caregivers, that raised us. Some of us might suspect that things happened to us but aren’t really sure, and some are very aware of the abuse and neglect brought on by our parents or even that we were over-parented or too sheltered. How do we move toward forgiveness when it comes to the pain that was brought on by the people who are supposed to love and protect us the most? Our guest, Adam Young, a licensed trauma therapist and host of the podcast The Place We Find Ourselves, joins us to discuss this critical topic. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Fund Conversations that Matter: donate.accessmore.comWe thought we had forgiven the person who hurt us, but our feelings don’t reflect it. We were expecting to stop feeling angry and hurt after we forgave. We’re expecting peace and relief. But the pain remains. Does this mean we didn’t truly forgive them? How do we know if we’ve really forgiven? Today, we cover three main points:&nbsp; 1) The biggest reason you don’t feel like you’ve truly forgiven 2) Dealing with your feelings on forgiveness 3) How to move toward feeling like you’ve forgiven For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Fund Conversations that Matter: donate.accessmore.comIf we’re really honest, most of the time, we’re dishonest with ourselves. We don’t like to admit it, but sometimes the conversations we have with ourselves are really unhealthy and even the root of many of our problems. We can be negative or catastrophize everything, or we go from one extreme to the other, either in total denial of our feelings or beating ourselves up for everything. How do we have a more honest conversation with ourselves? Today, we’re going to cover three main points:&nbsp; 1) What is keeping you from being brutally honest with yourself?&nbsp; (spoiler alert - it’s negative self-talk) 2) What’s behind your negative self-talk? 3) How to be brutally honest with yourself. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

So many of us cannot escape toxic relationships. Whether it’s someone we work with, a parent, or an ex, we must be around this person. How do we care for ourselves and our kids when we feel unsafe?&nbsp; Our guest is Katie Anthony, a collaborative and trauma-informed therapist. She is EMDR trained and is completing her Traumatic Stress Studies Certificate. She is also a solo parent to four children ages 10, 12, 14 and 16. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog For more on Katie - KatieAnthonyTherapy.com Or on Instagram @KatieAnthonyTherapy —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As single parents, self-care is hard because we rarely have margin. We don’t have room for flexibility. It’d be great if we could share a one-size-fits-all self-care routine but that’s not reality. Self-care is nuanced. It depends on so many factors including how much time we have with our kids—whether we have them all the time or some of the time. How do we actually take care of ourselves and our kids, no matter our parenting situation?&nbsp; Today we’re going to cover three main points:&nbsp; 1) what negative self-talk is 2) what’s behind your negative self-talk 3) how to stop your negative self-talk&nbsp; For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Single parents carry around regrets—whether we made the mistakes yesterday or years ago. We have a long list of regrets, like contributing to the breakdown of relationships, our bad habits, or maybe it’s feeling we can’t be the parents we could have been if we were in an intact family. How do we stop carrying around all of these regrets that make us feel terrible? Today we’re going to cover three main points:&nbsp; 1) why we have so many regrets 2) releasing the guilt 3) the upside of mistakes&nbsp; For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

The holiday season is so hard on single parents. It can be super stressful and emotionally daunting. So we wanted to get a head start. If we don’t plan ahead we run the risk of numbing out, stressing out or just getting swept up in the crazy busyness of the season and miss the whole thing. How can we avoid going on auto-pilot and be more deliberate so that we can experience the joy of this season? Today, we cover three main points:&nbsp; 1) being intentional about time &amp; traditions 2) setting ourselves up financially 3) preparing for emotions that come with the season&nbsp; For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROIDThe Christmas Devotional: Hope &amp; Humor for the Holidays is available online HERE.

For so many of us, we feel like we’re sludging through Solo Parent life and all that comes with it. We’re bogged down with all that we have to deal with and heal from. Some days we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and we feel hopeless. What do we do when we feel this way? Is it possible to feel happiness, even in the midst of feeling hopeless? Today, we cover three main points: 1) the myths that might be holding you back&nbsp; 2) finding contentment while trudging 3) steps you can take to find happiness For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything...it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID The Christmas Devotional: Hope &amp; Humor for the Holidays is available online HERE.

As single parents, we can sense when something isn't right, but we may not recognize what is going on underneath some of our behaviors. You have so much on you. Are there indicators in our lives that are trying to tell us something? Today, we cover three main points: 1) the signs you’re not ok 2) what to do when you recognize a sign&nbsp; 3) three essential questions to ask yourself For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything...it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID The Christmas Devotional: Hope &amp; Humor for the Holidays is available online HERE.

Fund conversations that matter: donate.accessmore.com&nbsp; As single parents the daily grind gives us tunnel vision that keeps us in survival mode. In turn, survival mode squelches out opportunities for adventure, creativity, and wonder. With so much on our plates and so many problems to solve, we think things like adventure, creativity, awe, and wonder are luxuries, and that it’s wise to give up on them. Is this true? Should we reconsider this idea? Today we’re joined by our resident counselor and friend, Dr. Chip Dodd. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Fund conversations that matter: donate.accessmore.com Tis the season to feel a lot of pressure. The list of supposed to’s is never-ending. There are expectations from family, work, our kids, our friends, and even ourselves. It’s not just a to-do list, but how we’re supposed to be, what everything is supposed to look like and be what it’s supposed to be like. All of this is so overwhelming and if you let it, it will pull you down. How do we survive this and can we actually enjoy the season?&nbsp; Today we’re going to cover three main points:&nbsp; 1) naming the supposed to’s 2) why do we feel the pressure of the supposed to’s&nbsp; 3) how we can free ourselves from the suppose to’s&nbsp; For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Welcome to the Solo Parent podcast, My name is Robert Beeson - and I'm here with Elizabeth and Amber (HELLO) we are so glad you have joined us. All this month we are doing something a little different. We’re playing clips from some of our (and your) favorite episodes over the last several years. Each week, a different member of our podcast team has chosen an episode to look back on and talk about why it was their favorite.&nbsp; Today we discuss why Amber chose this episode as her favorite.&nbsp; For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Looking for Christmas podcasts? We curated some of our favorite episodes just for you here!&nbsp; Trying to navigate the exhausting demands of raising our kids as solo parents can leave us at a loss of who we are, completely depleted of our identity. Maybe we don’t recognize who we were—or who we’re supposed to become. Even that concept can seem elusive and out of reach—we’re so often just struggling to get by. We wanted to reintroduce our conversation with Dr. Dan Allender on how to reclaim our identity and discover confidence in who we are and how we fit into our new reality.&nbsp; Dan is the founder and lead instructor at the Allender Center. For over thirty years, Dan’s theory, The Allender Theory, has brought healing and transformation to hundreds of thousands of lives by bringing the story of the Gospel and the story of trauma and abuse that mark so many. He founded The Allender Center which is the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, and is the best-selling author of nine books.&nbsp; Today we discuss why Elizabeth chose this episode as her favorite. For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

Looking for Christmas podcasts? We curated some of our favorite episodes just for you here!&nbsp; Most solo parents worry about how they are going to make ends meet during the challenges of living as a one-income family. Any kind of significant life transition or crisis can lead to unsettling circumstances, especially financially. Because single parents often find themselves dealing with unexpected financial changes related to budget and practical needs, we wanted to reintroduce this conversation we had with Ron Rauch on steps to financial stability. It can also provide motivation for a financial reset as we come out of the holiday spending frenzy and approach 2024.&nbsp;&nbsp; Today we discuss why Marissa chose this episode as her favorite: 1)This episode gives some tremendous practical tips on how to even baseline a budget / “spending plan” 2)how to think in terms of now and later for finances, and&nbsp; 3)how to deal with debt and potentially get some of it reduced.&nbsp; For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing, or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book.&nbsp; Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID

As we prepare to celebrate Christmas, many Christians around the world join in the celebration of Advent. Advent is the anticipation of the arrival of Christ and a time of preparation to celebrate His birth. Today, our focus will be on the joy we find in Advent and the hope we find in Jesus. A couple of years ago, just before Christmas, we had a beautiful conversation with Pastor Curtis Zackery and the origin of the classic Christmas song “O Holy Night.” You will never look at it the same way again. Today we cover why Robert chose this episode as his favorite and discuss the reasons why it was meaningful to him.&nbsp; For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org/show-notes-blog —&gt; ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast! Receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info, and a free book. Join our FREE daily meditational devotional - pod.link/1517894054 Download our free app - APPLE | ANDROID