Solutions are good right? I am just trying to help. Yes, but we actually find it really frustrating when we are sharing an issue and our partner jumps straight to solutions. Why is that? What is going on here? And what do we want and need instead?Listen to this episode as we explore what is going on with not always loving solutions.About NicoleNicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor helping people come back to themselves. Nicole teaches practical experiential skills to ceate more loving, connected and harmonious intimate relationships - with themselves and their partners.Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathiesonBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyloadGet the course nicolemathieson.com/courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I talk to my beautiful, soulful friend Kris Franken.So many people ask me how they can find themselves, be true to themselves and still be in relationship. It can be tricky to navigate. We fear that if we change and become more true to ourselves that we will lose our partner. We fear that authenticity and integrity means loss of connection. Well, today I called in Kris to talk to us about this because Kris, in my opinion is the epitomy of being true to herself, of being wildly, truly authentic, and she manages all this within her 20+year relationship.Kris shared her integrity and authenticiy with me on the Beauty Load podcast where we talk about our own true beauty.Here is the link: shows.acast.com/the-beauty-load/episodes/10-true-beauty-beyond-the-illusion-with-kris-frankenAbout KrisMy guest on this episode is my friend, author, mentor, healer and way shower, Kris Franken.Kris is a spiritual teacher who has a background in psychology as well as in the magazine publishing world and is the author of 2 books and creator of multiple oracle card sets. One of the reasons that I really wanted to share her with you and get her wisdom into the Beauty Load is that Kris is having a deep love affair with mother earth – her take on beauty comes from a place of being deeply deeply connected in the experience of living in her body as a spiritual being in amongst nature and the miracle of life.Where to find KrisCheck Kris out on Instagram @kris_frankenKris has her second book,Wild hearted purpose which is out now. All details are at: www.krisfranken.com/wildheartedpurpose/ And here is her website: krisfranken.comAbout NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole helps Individuals and couples to find a deeper and more stable connection to themselves as a foundation for their relationship with life and each other. Nicole is passionate about helping people in practical ways to feel safe and more conencted within their relationships.Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathiesonBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyloadGet the course nicole-mathieson.thinkific.com/courses/Insecurity-to-body-confidence Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does your partner have sex tantrums?How does it make you feel?How do they feel?What is going on and how do you get out of the downward spiral of need, guilt, obligation, and then less desire?Listen in as we unpack this very common dynamic, try not to generalise too much, and as I give you a few pointers to get back to sex without the guilt, anxiety and pressure.For more exploration on sex tantrums check out Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are. Check out my other podcast The Beauty Load, how to feel good enough in your body here - shows.acast.com/the-beauty-loadWebsite nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Intimacy (and I am not talking about sex), in my opinion is one of the hardest things in the whole world, but also, something that gives us the deepest most heart fulfilling satisfaction. Gah, what a dilemma! It would be so much easier if we could just get all operational and robotic and not have to have those hard conversations, get vulnerable and honest with ourselves and then share it with another....we could just get on with it. But alas, as humans, we are drawn back in to the fray.To do it best, intimacy starts within with an intimate relationship with ourselves. So what does that look like? In this episode I share my very messy intimate journey that led me to be an intimacy and relationship coach and share with you what getting intimate entails. This episode was inspired by an interview on @drkirstyseward 's podcast. You can listen to that here - podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-kirsty-seward/id1617397162Check out my other podcast The Beauty Load, how to feel good enough in your body here - shows.acast.com/the-beauty-loadWebsite nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello ,it's me Nicole Mathieson and I would like to introduce you to my brand new podcast; The Beauty Load, How to feel good enough in your body.This podcast is inspired by my book also called the Beauty Load in which I explore this exhausting pressure, anxiety and insecurity that many if not all women feel in regards to the way they look.In this podcast, I aim to explore how the Beauty Load is felt by different people, in different countries, different cultures and sub-cultures and with different experts.I aim to normalise the struggle of the Beauty Load.I aim to question the culture, the expectations and the high standards we hold ourselves to.I aim to raise awareness of how much of a privilege it is to even worry about this. But also to raise awareness of how much we are trapped and limited by this constant insecurity and anxiety the way that we look creates in us.Most of all, I hope that in all this exploring we feel a little bit less alone and we can minimise the load that we carry, so that we can just get on with living our lives and being our beautiful, radiant selves.Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we talk to Slow Living coach Rachelle Glendon about the benefits of concsiously slowing down on all of our relationships. In this chat we talk about; * implementing some matriachal ways, which sound so good * tips for slowing down * how slow living challenges your own unhealthy beliefs and invites healing * how slow living moves you from resentment and passive aggressive communication to nurture. You can catch Rachelle at howtoliveslow.com and @howtoliveslow on the gram. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why is a relationship coach / therapist writing a book about body image I hear you ask? That's because the Beauty Load, body image, how we feel about ourselves and our confidence with fitting in in the world, are all relationship issues. I don't know about you but my body was front and centre as I stepped into relationship and sexual intimacy as a young adult. Listen in as I share how my book The Beauty Load is a relationship book in so many ways. Grab your copy of the book at nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Follow me on Instagram @nicole.mathieson Take care Nicole Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes we feel wrong for feeling the Beauty Load, especially when our males partner's or friends just don't get it. But the stress and concern of the Beauty Load is real and in this episode I share an example that demonstrates how differently the Load is experienced, generally speaking, by women and men. Buy the book The Beauty Load www.nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload follow me on instagram @nicole.mathieson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this special Beauty Load episode of the podcast, I am reading the first chapter (the introduction) of my new book The Beauty Load, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.  The message of my book is basically that you feeling not "enough" about your looks is not personal, it is not about you and your looks but instead it is inevitable if you have grown up in a culture with such toxic messaging and an obsession with beauty.  To buy the book, go to nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload/ or pop over to Amazon, Booktopia or The Book depository.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There is a lot going on in the world at the moment that can leave us feeling a bit or a lot traumatised. I am inspired to share this "what not to do" episode, because of what I see happening around me, and that is people who have been through a lot, not allowing themselves the space and nurture they need, because there are others struggling more than them. We compare and we think "I should not be worried!" but this just keeps us stuck. nicolemathieson.com @nicole.mathieson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If there is one thing the Beauty Load pressure leaves us women with, it is a sense of shame. We are shamed on so many fronts on all aspects of our body and appearance. In this episode I explore the shame, grandiosity loop and how we can get out of it to create a new culture, at least for ourselves. The Beauty Load book out April 2022 Instagram: @nicole.mathieson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are a lot of books out there about loving our body and the issues that come with it, so why have I written another book about it? In this episode I share with you my motivations for writing this book: -from my own struggles with feeling enough -to the impact the Beauty Load has on my clients and friends -seeing women in Cuba who didn't seem to be struggling in the same way -my fear for my own children -and our need to unpack this patriarchal, consumerist craziness For more nicolemathieson.com @nicole.mathieson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you manage stress in your relationship? How does it feel when your partner is stressed? How do you respond? How do they respond to you? Stress can be a really disconnecting force in a relationship if it goes unmanaged. In this episode I share with you, how I dealt with my husband's stress really badly and how I repaired on that occassion. I also share with you why dealing with stress is so important and I go through the Gottman "stress reducing conversation" pointers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I speak to Emily, who with her partner Sean, created Yum cards for couples. We talk about how these cards help couples reconnect and why reconnecting feels so darn yum! You can check out the cards here playyum.com For more go to nicolemathieson.com @nicole_mathieson_coach Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You are not going to get rid of your suffering and that's okay. We do not need to be wrapped in cotton wool and protected from all the harshness to be okay, which is great, because it would probably be pretty isolating there. We are going to suffer, the trick is to not panic about it. Not to panic about the fear, the anxiety, the sadness, the pain, but to recognise all of these feelings as understandable responses to what is going on for you in the world.  For more about Nicole go to: www.nicolemathieson.com or on Instagram @nicole_mathieson_coach Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How does the way you look or feel in your body influence your desire?  Research shows that us women, in general, need to feel ourselves sexy in order to feel desire. We need to feel sexy in our bodies, our minds, our energies and our imaginations first before we can share ourselves. Does that resonate with you? Come with me on this podcast journey while I explore this a little. Find out more about my coaching / counselling and resources at nicolemathieson.com or follow me @nicole_mathieson_coach   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We want certainty in our relationships. We say..."I'll be happy when there is a ring on my finger or we buy that house or we have kids or whatever" Which makes sense, we are human and certainty feels secure. But the cementing in (the grasping for certainty) is also the very thing creating the stuckness that leads us to resentment and eventually a desire to possibly even leave. We deserve relationship that feel fluid and free and like we choose to be there. In this episode I explore with you how to un-cement and create fluidity in our relationships. follow Nicole on Instagram @nicole_mathieson_coach Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Break ups can be devastating. They are without a doubt big events in our lives. Which is why we need Mackenzie, a break-up specialist. Mackenzie and I chat about the sometimes rough and tumultuous phase break-ups. She herself has navigated 2 very different break-ups; one toxic and one conscious and shares her wisdom with us. We chat about: -her break-up stories and how she navigated them -how to recognise a narcissist -the places people get stuck in the break-up process -the anchor points to help you through to the wisdom and growth on the other side of the pain.  You can follow Mackenzie here: Insta: @_honeyintheheart_ Website:  www.kenzieeason.com    For more go to www.nicolemathieson.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So much happens to your relationship and your sex life after you have kids. Everything changes. Your roles, your sex life, how you spend your time, how you see each other and that's not to mention your expectations of each other. It is big! How do you as a couple, cope with all this change and stress? It can be super hard.  Catherine Topham Sly from Insight and Connection in the UK chat about this major relationship challenge in this episode. You can find Catherine on Insta & FB @insightandconnection or on her website www.insightconnection.uk For more about me, Nicole go to www.nicolemathieson.com or find me @nicole_mathieson_coach Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Following on from Self regulation part 1, this episode explores the "how" of self regulation. How do you calm and soothe yourself so that you can be more of a rocking partner in your intimate relationships? Listen in to find out. Drop me an email hi@nicolemathieson.com or find out more at www.nicolemathieson.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self regulation is sexy. Learning to calm and soothe yourself in your relationship is a skill that will help bring all the things to your relationship life that you want more of. In this episode I talk about the consequences of not having the capacity to self regulate. Then in the next episode, part 2, I share the "how". To get in touch, drop me an email hi@nicolemathieson.com  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode my colleague Ebony from Little Window counselling comes and interviews me. Ebony asks me lots of questions about how to manage our relationships in these strange times of Covid19 and lockdown. We talk about: -The types of problems that people are having in their relationships -How to get time to connect -What to do if you don't feel safe -How to navigate this time if you are dating -My top 3 tips for your relationship in lockdown, For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com or to book an appoitnemnt go to www.littlewindow.com.au Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Managing anxiety part 2 - Connecting deeper within How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on? There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill-up and find ways to soothe our own anxiety. Let's grab this time as an opportunity to get the skills we need to manage our anxiety. In part one we look at mindfulness and in part two we look at anchoring in to a deeper part of ourselves. For more go to www.nicolemathieson.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Managing anxiety part 1 - Mindfulness. How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on? There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill upand find ways to soothe our own anxiety. Let's grab this time as an opportunity to get the skills we need to manage our anxiety. In part one we look at mindfulness and in part two we look at anchoring in to a deeper part of ourselves. To learn more go to www.nicolemathieson.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The mental load is a thing and it can cause disconnection in your most important and intimate relationships. Just this last week, I have personally been struggling with the mental load; feeling resentful, tired and cranky. I wanted to share how I dealt with the load and what strategies I have put in place to minimise the future build up of resentment. For more help with the load, check out my online workshop "Release resentment" www.nicolemathieson.com/shop Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Communication with my husband about anything that mattered used to make me want to run in the other direction. I would try to say stuff, but I would always say it in all the wrong ways and we would just end up: getting defensive and critical of each other  feeling hurt & misunderstood saying things we wish we hadn't and needing some space to calm down The good news is, that you can learn skills and concepts that will help your communication and I will teach it all at my online wokshop. Get your ticket www.nicolemathieson.com/communicate   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Katie Dean is a woman who gives us permission to be ourselves; human. imperfect and messy. Listen as we chat about; The pressure we put on ourselves Katie's journey with breast implants How to embrace life's messiness You can find out more about Katie and grab her new book Messy over at www.ktdean.com.au or on her favourite platform, Instagram @ktdean.com.au Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I am back talking to my dear friend and kundalini yoga teacher Sirgun Lindsay German. Today we are talking about aging gracefully. What happens to us as women when we are no longer pretty young things? What is our value as an older woman? How do we handle aging, menopause and growing older with grace?   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A letter to your husband with the reason we are not being intimate aka: having (much) sex.   Hello honey, I just wanted to write and let you know a few things that I have been pondering about our sex life. Firstly, I just wanted to acknowledge you. I know that our sex life  is a frustrating area of our relationship for you. I acknowledge that for you, in an ideal world, we would be having sex lots more often. You try really hard to get it right for me, for us and I appreciate it. I feel for you, I get why you are frustrated and confused and I would love to share more intimate moments with you, which is why we need this chat. I would love to share with you the reason we are not having much sex. Do you know why I don’t feel like sex a lot of the time? I am sure you have pondered this question a lot. Perhaps you have put it down to a variety of conditions such as; Whether you are wearing your lucky undies or not The exact steps and in what order you take in your sexual advances The words you say or whisper into my ear Whether you have done the dishes or not And sure, all of the above have some input. I truly hope that you do not put it down to something like me not being attracted to you. I know it can seem like that at times, and to be honest sometimes my head tells me that is the case, but it is not the truth. The truth of why I sometimes don’t want sex is.... Read on here; nicolemathieson.com/why-we-arent-being-intimate/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does he even care about me?  When I ask for more, then he pulls away from me. As far as the dance of intimacy goes, this is a common relational pattern. It goes something like this; You feel like you need more from your partner. More reassurance, care, love & affection and you need this to be okay. In fact, your need has become a kind of anxiety. You want him to scoop you up in your arms and reassure you of his love.  But when you ask for this, he just pulls further away from you.  Do you know this dance? For more: http://nicolemathieson.com/he-pulls-away Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 Whenever I am feeling stuck or like I am neck deep in the struggle, there is one thing that always helps - listening to some Abraham Hicks.  There is something about the way they continually bring the message back to the simple laws of what you focus on you attract - that reminds me of my power and makes it feel that little bit better.  Which is why I jumped at the chance of interviewing my next guest. Sandi Phillips-Melyer spent nearly a decade travelling with Abraham Hicks's - Esther and Jerry absorbing their wisdom and high vibrations.    And right enough, Sandi was a beautiful reminder of the laws of love and attraction.  We talk about;  - Life with Esther and Jerry on the road  - The key to life being - to be okay with "not feeling good"  - How most relationship drama is the thought "I need you to be different so that I can feel better"  - How every issue we have with other people is the mirror of our own issues And how every relationship you ever have is designed for you to know more of yourself nicolemathieson.com/podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are your lady parts numb? How much feeling is down there? Tamra Mercieca is all about self-love, and she means on every level. Which means that Tamra really encourages us to love, and care for our vaginas. Tamra is the founder of Getting Naked, and Yoga for the Vagina. She is a Relationship and Self-Love Therapist, and an author. If the idea of getting back into a state of love with your vagina makes you uncomfortable, then this episode is for you. Tamra talks us trhough some of the health issues and benefits of having a healthy loving relationship down there. We also talk about;  The relationship with self and its effect on everything The fierceness of boundaries that motherhood brings Having to have strong boundaries with her own mother All the things you can learn from dating   www.nicolemathieson.com/ep-32-how-numb-lady-parts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I had a revelation recently, it was that the western culture of sexuality really didn’t suit me. In fact, I am pretty sure it doesn’t suit a lot of us. What I am talking about is our sexual narrative that sex always has to have the aim of orgasm. I see it like a train on the tracks. Once we get on the sex train – which could be in the form of touching, petting and kissing – it feels like there is only one destination; orgasm station. http://nicolemathieson.com/revive-get-off-orgasm-train/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you ready for my first interview in 2 years?! Yes? Good! If your partner were to feed you eggplant for dinner every night, and you didn't like eggplant, you would say something. Sadly, we don't feel as expressive in the realms of sex and intimacy. We put up with offerings we don't like, year in, year out, and then wonder why we have "lost" our libido. In my conversation with inter-personal sex therapist Jacqueline Hellyer, we come back often to the food metaphor, particularly eggplant. I love it! I feel that the metaphor really works. You realise how crazily blocked we are around sexual communication. www.nicolemathieson.com/sex-is-like-food Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Babe, I want to talk to you, but I can’t find the words, so I am writing to you instead. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and us. I know that you may not know this, because there is a chasm between us. It worries me. We haven’t exactly been very connected lately, have we? This letter to your husband is generic. It is not a personal letter from me to my husband, but more from every woman to her partner.  www.nicolemathieson.com/chasm-between-us/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He won’t go to counselling, what should I do? This is a common tale in the realms of hetero-sexual relationships. The wife wants to go to couple counselling, but the husband does not. Can it be the other way around? Absolutely it can, but the man not wanting to go, is so common it is worth exploring. If this is you, I feel for you. This is a horrible situation to be in. You, no doubt, see that your relationship is in trouble and you want to save it by doing the most obvious thing available to you, yet your partner adds insult to injury and refuses. You are left feeling more hopeless than ever about the future of your relationship. www.nicolemathieson.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Clear out your relationship negativity When we talk about clearing your relationship negativity, what we are really talking about is clearing your resentment. So I am going to share with you; The 3 places where resentment really comes from The 3 destructive effects of resentment build up on your relationship 3 ways for you to release resentment Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I feel lost in my marriage. I don't even know who I am anymore!" This is a common cry from women in my relationship coaching office. Do you feel like YOU in your relationship? Like, really who you are? It can be easy to lose yourself when you are in a long-term relationship. It can be hard to tell where you start and they begin. It can be hard to tell what is changing due to age and maturity and constraints of the family. It can be hard to know what you really want after so many years of compromise. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Several years ago, I was stuck in a dark place in my marriage. This darkness seeped out as anger – I would storm and bang around the house in a passive aggressive fury, without saying anything to my husband. It seeped out in my avoidance of intimacy – my libido was non-existent. It seeped out in my energetic output – he could feel my anger and would respond by being more cautious and standoffish . This made me angrier (and around we would go). Our marriage was starting to feel more unsafe and less loving – for both of us. Next steps; Look at the list above and choose one area that feels like a priority to focus on/ heal/ take your responsibility for.Look here if you need one-on-one help. Sign up for my 3 steps to stop being a bitch Read my previous post in the 4-part series: Why do I get so angry at my husband? For a deeper dive, join my online workshop: "How to stop being a bitch to the one you love" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It is easy to make sense of this when we are stressed out by life, work, kids and pressure from every direction. Of course, we are going to have moments when we blow our tops. Is it such a problem? Well no, from time to time this is not a huge problem, especially if you are practicing the art of repair. The problem is when we get stuck in angry, bitch mode as it corrodes the good feeling of the relationship, creating a lack of safety and trust between you and your partner that can be hard to rebuild. We want to interrupt our angry ways. To do that we need to take a closer look at the real reasons we get so angry. Next steps: Practice pausing and being with your discomfort with the small stuff e.g. You stub your toe or forget to buy milk. Pause and breathe. Get my guided audio; self-soothe after rupture. Get my 3 steps to stop being a bitch to your partner to interrupt this habit. Read my post “Why am I such a bitch to the one I love” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You thought you were the only one who was mean to their beloved. Sadly, or perhaps, reassuringly, that is not the case. You are in good company. Being a bitch to the ones we love is common amongst us women. It is strange isn’t it, that the ones we love the most, get our most bitchy behaviour. On some level it makes sense, and we can justify it all, I mean, of course we are going to have moments when we get cranky and let loose. But the problem is that we can get stuck in bitch mode, our relationships festering away without things getting better. This is not good for us, nor is it great for our relationship. We don’t want to be bitches and we don’t want to push away a good man or a good relationship. This post aims to help you gain awareness around your relationship "bitch" so that you can feel more in control of your reactions and feel like you are building the loving, safe relationship that you really want. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you worried that you are damaging your marriage? You find yourself being mean and bitchy to the one you love. You feel stuck in negative thoughts about your partner. And you know it is not working for you. In fact it doesn't even feel like you. You partner may not be perfect, but the last thing you want is to damage the good feeling, love and connection that you have between you. This post is not focussed on your partner’s behaviour. We are not here to blame, but to do what we can do from our side of the equation to make things better. N.B: If your partner is violent or abusive in anyway, that is not okay. You need to get help here (AU) Here are the 10 things that women commonly do that damage relationships. If you find yourself doing all or some of these, perhaps it is time to pause and look at what is really going on for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you feel sexy? In the past I never felt that sexy. But now something has changed. In fact, at this point in my life I am sexier than I have ever been and it has nothing to do with how I look. Listen in to find out what changed for me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens to your relationship when you are tired and depleted. When you feel like all you have done all day, all week, all year is look after other people at the expense of your own needs? Well, you feel resentful and cranky, don’t you? In this episode I discuss how to bring more joy into your relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Understand your attachment style Relationships can be baffling. But there is a way to understand why we react the way we do. In my client sessions, one of the first things we explore are attachment styles. These are learned reactions, behaviours and tendencies that we exhibit in our intimate relationships. When you understand your and your partner’s attachment style, it becomes a whole lot easier to navigate the relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Learn to repair.  If you’re feeling worried about the fights, arguments or tense moments between you and your partner. If they seem to sit there, looming like a big unspoken white elephant in the room, causing even more tension, don’t stress.  All couples argue. Instead of focussing on avoiding it, focus on repair; the most important skill you can learn in your relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week is my friend and client Marianne Buchanan. Over the past 3 years. I have watched Marianne move from attracting relationships that were manipulative and at times violent to a mutual attraction that is beautiful and nurturing. Her relationship attractor field has up-levelled so efficiently and effectively that I couldn’t wait to pick her brains and find out how she did it, and so gracefully.   We talk about: + Moving from a religious, traditional marriage – to dating women + Healing the relationship with her mother + Relationship red flags – what to look for + The unspoken and unexpected occurrence of violence in lesbian relationships + Marianne’s huge losses of 2016 and how her grief now inspires her and helps her put relationships in perspective + The unending benefits of caring for self For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast19   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bryan Reeves refers to himself as the relationship insight ninja and after our chat – I would have to agree with him. Bryan was raised predominantly by strong women, who infused his world with vision and service and left him with a deep reverence for the capacity of women and what they bring to the world. Yet this, for most of Bryan’s adult life did not translate into relationship success. His last 6 years have been committed to exploring his ignorance and searching for the answer to “Why do my girlfriends get so pissed off at me?”. In his search he has had to challenge his approach, in particular his response to dealing with emotions. Bryan also shares with us: + Why boundaries are so important to create the safe container within which we can thrive + The three stages of relationship and how we can move out of co-dependency and into inter-dependency + How to bring out the best in our men + What men really find attractive in women and how we can bring more of it + The masculine myth as aposed to the feminine myth and why they really aren’t working for us For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast18 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode of Unbreakable is a little different. I felt the need to talk about the shift in direction for Unbreakable - a direction towards exploring love, intimacy and relationships. To do this, I have invited back my podcast expert friend, Alana Helbig from Untangled. Alana helps me explore why I believe that as women we need more practical support as we manage the epic, soulful, evolutionary experience that our relationships offer us. I also share; - the big crisis / expansion points that have shifted my relationship -My theory on intimacy and how it triggers us and why this is so often mistaken for us being with the wrong partner -How marriage as an institution is evolving and changing with the times -How relationships are like life and death - they don't last forever so we must treasure what we have -how honesty seems to work and has never let me down Enjoy xN For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast17 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Unbreakable I talk to my beloved Kundalini yoga teacher Sirgun Lindsay- German. Once a week I show up on my mat in front of Sirgun as she inspires me to push through an entire cycle of mental anguish , physical pain, resistance and surrender and if I am lucky – break through. As we discuss in this interview, kundalini is preparation for life in general and in particular, marriage. Our intimate realtionship are not always going to feel wonderful and expansive – we are not always going to be aligned and connected, we may even be filled with hate and anger at times – but things cycle and process through. If we stick with it we break through. Sirgun has broken through many things – from her reflex to leave when things got tough, to her neediness for love. She finds herself now 17 years into her marriage, with a cheeky rekindling of her love affair with her husband. Sirgun shares with us: + How Kundalini helped her find herself as a new wife and mother + Why her children are no longer her priority – her relationship with her husband is + Why we can get so triggered by the masculine sun energy and how to love it instead + The importance of embracing our feminine moon energy + How being passive aggressive made her PMS  much worse + Her commitment to loving the one she’s with For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast16 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine giving your partner total freedom - to the point that you can be in the same room with them while they are connecting intimately with another. How would you respond? Instead of going into a jealous rage, like most of us, my guest this week Rachel Rickards, channels that energy of jealousy into her own expansion. Rachel and her partner are polyamorous, meaning they have an open relationship. As a monogamous woman, speaking with Rachel really blew my mind. I really feel that there is a lot here for us more conventional relators to be inspired by. Rachel also shared: + What she does to move through the energy of jealousy + The sticky belief of "I do not belong" and how she found her place in the world + The dance between freedom and control - she swears she is actually a control freak! + The connecting practice of belly to belly and how it works to calm her nervous system + The difficult challenges of polyamory and why she still chooses it + We talk about intimacy and what it truly means to be intimate with another + And finally I ask Rachel her advice for us monogamous folk on how to keep our relationships alive For more info head to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast15 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A few years back Cassie Mendoza-Jones put her heart, soul, time and money into a big work project. This project came to her easily and felt effortless and joyful. It felt like she was in total alignment, so you can imagine how devastating it was for her when the project did not achieve the success she was hoping for. In fact this so called failure had her down. Losing faith in herself, her intuition and the universe she was forced to go deeply into her own healing. In this experience she could see how hard she was on herself- how controlling she was of her life and how easy it was for her to get stuck in the “doing” rather than the “being”. Cassie also shares with us: +  Why showing up and doing the inner work is much more than just “doing the work” +  How she has had to redefine goal setting and success so that she is less controlling and more allowing +  Why allowing things to be as they are, leaves space for things to be even better than you could possibly imagine +  Why it was just so hard for her to forgive herself and how a health crisis forced her to really go there +  How her mother first initiated her intuition at a toy shop and how she keeps this alive these days with automatic writing for more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast14 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sarah Durham Wilson has had her fair share of moments on the bathroom floor, including one years ago that initiated a full kundalini awakening and her spiritual path into Do it girl. At the time of this interview, Sarah was there again, in the dark. Darkness initiated, amongst other things, by the loss of her beloved fur baby and navigating motherhood alone. Sarah doubted whether she could be on a show called Unbreakable whilst feeling so broken, but this is precisely what I love about this episode. She is in it, feeling it all, stripped back to nothing and opening up to us about the experience - the pain, the teachings and the richness. And even there, deep in it, she is able to trust her own unbreakable spirit. As is always the case in any conversation with Sarah, this interview is laced with mythology, mysticism and imagery that brings her words to life and transports us to worlds and possibilities beyond our own. Sarah also shares with us: + How being in the dark does not mean being in agony + The journey of Innana and why stripping back to nothing can be so full of richness + The hard learned lesson that nobody is coming to save us - we have to save ourselves + The epic journey from maiden to mother to crone and where she is at right now + Where she goes to get her guidance in moments of fear - think mystical and magical! + Why she is ready for battle and suited up & how activism is no longer a choice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Libido, motherhood and tending our own fires "My libidinous energy is fed when I am connecting with women, my partner writing or doing something delicious. Giving myself permission to own that this is how my libido works" Lauren White gives us permission. Permission to tend to the things that we love and trust that the energy of that flows into every part of our life....She says that it is one and the same as our sexuality and that lagging libido is not just about the bedroom. She also gives us permission to change and be fluid. Because, let's face it, that is what it is to be feminine. This interview felt like a huge relief to me. Yes. Thank you. I do not need to feel bad about these things. They are the essence of femininism and the sparks for change that we need to see in the world. Lauren also shares: + The libido crash and crazy hormones that made 2016 her bathroom floor year + Mother guilt - as she asks herself "Why aren't I like those other mums wanting to just spend time with my kids?" + How keeping her sexual flame alive is not a job segregated off into the bedroom + The best sex advice you could ever get - and her reason for not actually giving sex tips + How connecting with women is where she finds her inspiration, guidance and her reason for being + How marriage is changing and becocming less restrained and inflexible + And finally why speaking up is her biggest evolutionary challenge at the moment, and why it is so important for women For the show notes and more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast12 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In early 2016, Kimberley Kevan and her family were in the throes of a potential financial crisis. They were at a point where a miracle was needed. In this episode Kimmy and I talk about how she found the capacity to stay in her heart and trust her knowing that everything was going to be okay despite what her reality was indicating. In essence this chat comes back again and again to our own power to create an abundant life by trusting our feelings and getting beyond the limitations of the tangible. Kimmy also shares with us: + The transformational support available from loved ones who have passed on + The gift in having your back up against the wall and nothing to lose - for her in the form of a massive health crisis + How she was able to drop in to her head, get what she needed but not stay there + Feeling as the key to a sensual life + The 30% rule that keeps Kimmy nourished as a busy mum, wife and health practitioner + And did I mention gratitude..…it comes up a lot. This is a truly feel good episode that got even juicier after we the interview was over - so stay tuned half way through for the added insert where Kimmy and I are having a real heart to heart. For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast11 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is it that your soul is yearning for in for 2017? In this special episode of Unbreakable, I team up with my good friend Alana and we bring you a soul alignment healing balance to align you to your soul’s desires for 2017. We put a call out to our communities asking each woman to respond with their soul anchoring word. We collated them all into one powerful statement and then worked together to bring you a collecctive energy healing. This is powerful for you whether you gave us your word or not. If you can resonate, this healing is for you.  + The way the heart healing modality works + How to centre your energies in preparation for a balance + How to feel in to your discomfort and offer presence + The powerful healing of being there with your heart For more info check out www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine life as your canvas, but instead of having a clear plan that you stoically cling to, you let the art unfold and evolve as you go. When you start worrying and contracting in fear, wondering if this is it or if you are good enough, you remember, it is only paint- it is not life or death. Flora Bowley artist, visionary and teacher, lets her brave intuitive painting style inform not only her art but her life as well - her art being the muscle building ground for a life less scripted. And people love it. Not only is Flora a successful artist in her own right, but she has found her purpose in leading thousands of women on their own brave intuitive journeys. Flora also shares with us: + The gifts for everyone in asking for help + The courage of asking " is this still working for me?" + How just like people, paintings need to go through something uncomfortable to have depth + Why being stuck is such a great sign - this is a beauty!! + Why it is okay and actually quite revolutionary to allow yourself to constantly change For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast9 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You are young, you are married, everything looks perfect…. yet in your heart you know something is not right. This was the situation for this week’s unbreakable guest, rockupuncture founder Keri Krieger. There was a part of her asking “Why would anyone in their right mind tear this apart” but deep in her heart there was a still, spacious knowing that her marriage was over. Keri had spent so much time outside of herself, looking after the partnership and the needs of her husband, that she had lost connection with who she was. She explains that she had to “slowly start pulling my life apart until who I was and where I was at matched”. Keri also shares with us: + The hunger that she needed to explore and follow – sometimes down some unwholesome alley way + The belief systems she had in her marriage that led to such a state of disconnect + Her choice to believe in something bigger than her + How these days she manages to open her heart to love in a wholehearted way Whole hearted love is a possibility with yourself, your partner and life. For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com/podcast6 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this very first episode of Unbreakable I interview my podcast coach and good friend Alana Helbig. When I first met Alana she had just ended a five year relationship that she was numbing the pain of with drugs and alchohol. But It wasn't until she found out that her ex had fallen in love just a few short months later that she cracked.Broken, lost and so unsure of who she was in the world she turned up at my clinic door. In our chat Alana shares with us: + How she made the journey - from dark & broken to soul-guided + How her soul offers her hope and where she finds that hope + How it is not always easy and how the human part of her puts up a fierce fight Plus her soul connection secrets. If you are lost, broken or stuck in the darkness, this one is for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.