I took a road trip to Nauvoo. My brain melted from both the heat and the experience. Love to you all - Marie

It's the end! Oliver tells the thrilling tale of when Joseph finds the box and pulls out the Golden Plates.   Read along here The Glass Looker, Treasure Digs

A narrative! Joseph Smith, Jr, prophet of god, puts down his work and goes on a walk to a hill.  Read along with me Hill Cumorah Quotes

It's a recap episode! Strap in for some bracing Old Testament info.  Read along with me here The Brother of Jared Quarto Vocabulary

Oliver Cowdery continues to spin pretty words of little substance. Angels, latter days, Israel, it's a good time for all! Read along with me here Compare D&C How are Oliver Cowdery's Letters etc. Angels have six wings and are covered in eyes Deutoronomy!!  The Q12 is formed

It's a narrative!!! Praise be to Heavenly Father, we're treated to a messenger from god.  Read along with me here Height of male identifying people 100 years ago How are these letters to be read and understood John of Patmos

It's a cliffhanger of an anticlimax. Read along with me here  

In one heck of a misdirect, we learn the "history" according to the bible, not the history of Mormonism.    Read along here Jared Carter Gyan Books Compare D&C Tertullian The Nutritional Value of Locusts Book of Mormon Central essay

Sometimes, insomnia hits. How to deal? Read some entirely non-canon letters penned by Marie's historical boyfriend back in 1834.  All the Links Read along here Oliver Cowdery as Book of Mormon Scribe WW Phelps Commentary by the Church How are Oliver Cowdery's Letters to be Used and Understood? The Cowdery Conundrum

It's the end! We've run out of canon. Time to wrap it up. Thank you for listening for all these years!!!   -Marie and Bryce

Pres. Veazey presented his words of counsel in 2013, it became canon in 2016. This is the most recent and therefore final revelation of the Community of Christ. Read along with us here Watch Pres. Veazey here The president's address in 2016 about evangelist blessing World Conference Resolutions as of 2019

It's touted as the Gay Rights Revelation, but is it really??  Read along with us here Gay Rights Revelation Added to the Community of Christ D&C, by John Hamer

Stephen Veazey begins his tenure as president of a prophetic people. It's easy! Love your neighbor, take your church callings seriously, be humble, and know that the Book of Mormon isn't a historical document that should ever be worshiped as as divine. Read along with us here War in Afghanistan Climate Change 2007  

Pres. McMurray shifts the church from a people with a prophet to that of a prophetic people. Then he quits.  Read along with us here Boston Archdiocese Letter of Resignation Sunstone Magazine commentary

This new thing called "the web" is a perfect place to invest, the stock market is definitely only going to go up. Pres. Grant McMurray expands the Community of Christ accordingly. They officially define themselves by who they are instead of who they are not. Read along with us The Dot Com Bubble  

In a break from tradition, the next prophet-president isn't a direct descendant of Joseph Smith, Jr. Welcome to the show, W. Grant McMurray!   Walking Into the Heart of the Questions: An Interview With Grant McMurray Read along with us here Support the show here

Hirings and firings continue, but what really matters is how different Utah LDS is from Missouri RLDS. Finances. Gender. Transparency. Focus. Use of resources. Take everything you knew a true from Utah LDS, flip it and reverse it into an alternate universe, and that's Missouri RLDS.  Read along with us here The Father and the Family Utah LDS Audit Committee Report, 1994 Danny Belrose Dale Luffman Utah LDS Women of the Church

The last big breakaway wraps up, and its officially a new era for the church. Women rise to power all over, members with AIDS are officially accepted as worthy humans (while the world rejects them), communion is open to everyone, and further research is ordered to help the church better serve those suffering from addiction or domestic violence.    Read along with us here Support the show here File the paperwork to own your churches!!! Historical Amnesia: Corporate Identity and Collective Memory Grant McMurray David Brock Larry Tyree Larry Norris Dennis Piepergardes  

Wally Tony blocks the remaining fundamentalists from removing revelation 156 by introducing a resolution that petitions for revelation must come from the Prophet-President, not the people. Say thanks to the domineering personality of Fred M back in 1925! Is this a good change? Eh...    Read along with us here Support the show here Richard Price is Excommunicated Lloyd Hurshman Roy Schaefer Norman Swails

It's 1984 and women are now officially allowed to hold the priesthood! Almost. They have to go through all the same training as the men do, and THEN they can hold the priesthood.  Read along with us here Support the show here Geoffrey Spencer The Last Smith Presidents  

The forces of a changing society continue to push on all sides.  Read along with us here Support the show here Reed Homes Empowering Homosexuals in the Church: A History of GALA

The first international apostle is called as the fundamentalist movement strengthens. Restoration Festivals, Inc is formed and subsequently silenced by the Q12.  Read along with us here Support the show here Read Steve Veazey's blog about his Asia tour Everett Graffeo Kenneth Robinson Steve Veazey's appeal for more tithing dollars 1970s energy crisis  

It's time for some context to the 1980 proto-schism in RLDS. The Epitome of Faith and Doctrine is exactly the same as the Articles of Faith, just rebranded.  Read along with us here Apostle's Creed

W. Wallace Smith officially retires, Wallace B. Smith takes over. It goes smoothly, except for the 15%-25% of the congregation who Does Not Believe. Or more it's that they believe in the fundamentals and their new progressive leader.  Read along with us here  Read about the presidency of Wallace B Smith here Listen to the patron-exclusive bonus episode here  

In a shocking turn of events, W. Wallace Smith decides to retire rather than remain prophet-president until death. He nominates his son, Wallace Bunnell Anthony Smith, as successor.  Read along with us here GCR 564 Graceland College Book of Knowledge    

Sweeping changes have been made in core beliefs and how the church teaches theology to the children. Naturally, this revelation mentions literally none of that. Read along with us here Support the show here Roy Cheville Pax Mondial Temple School Paul Booth

God wants the Saints to build a temple, which is problematic since RLDS doesn't own the land where temple should be built. Can they resurrect and old agreement that would allow them to slide right into that plot of land?  Read along with us here Support the show here Journal of Mormon History Cuyahoga River  

God is so great that his words require clarification in not only a supplemental revelation, but also for months and months in the official church newspaper. Read along with us here

Oh snap, it's a revelation so groundbreaking that god had to make this a two-parter! What's a surplus? Are the bishops the bad guys? Will the temple be used for... anything? No idea!  Read along with us here Differing Visions: Dissenters in Mormon History Ruby Irene Jones, total badass  

The Statement on Objections rocks the church to its core, so naturally the revelation regarding personnel changes is what's in the D&C.    Read along with us here Support the show here F. Henry Edwards Duane Couey Aleah Koury  

The church shifts its focus from cultural anecdata from the past to hard truths for the future. Cracks in the church foundation begin to appear. Read along with us here Support the show here Cecil B Ettinger The Conference of Restored Elders Duane Couey Arthur Oakman Russell Ralston William Timms  

Pres. W. Wallace Smith flexes his prophetic muscles by doing a ton of staffing changes. On the surface, nothing is changing. In reality, he's setting up the church to do things like include non-white members in their leadership.    All the Links Read along with us here Maurice Draper Roy Cheville Charles Neff Outreach International The splinter group that broke off circa 2005 Comments on Clifford Cole  

It's the end of an era as President Israel "Dutch" Smith passes away in a car crash. President W. Wallace Smith is named successor, which makes sense since he's essentially been acting president for a solid six years.  Read along with us here Historical Amnesia: Corporate Identity and Collective Memory Nauvoo in the 1960s  

Prophet-President Israel "Dutch" Smith starts making tours of the Pacific and Europe to meet the members of his church. Or, from another perspective, he uses the church as an excuse to travel, get fancy gadgets installed on his car, and watch baseball. It's all a matter of perspective.   Read along with us here Support the show here John Garver Gentle Monarch, by Norma Derry Hiles

Israel "Dutch" Smith spends his first years of his presidency at his wife's bedside, with breaks to write correspondence and delegate decisions to F. Henry Edwards, his nephew-in-law.  All the Links Support the show here Read along with us here Roscoe Davey Maurice L Draper Reed Holmes A Gentle Monarch

The post-WWII era ushers in an era of economic growth for the church, and a grumpy Fred M., a prophet who failed to write down his succession plan. Israel "Dutch" Smith becomes prophet-president, soon thereafter giving his first revelation.  All the Links John Garver Frank Henry Edwards Fred M.'s funeral bulletin

The revelation is just another staffing change from Fred M. The reality is that nobody likes him and his closest confidantes are quitting. Somehow, despite a lifetime of being treated as Lesser, little brother Israel A. Smith steps in to start the process in becoming the next prophet-president. All the Links Read along with us here L.F.P. Curry Gentle Monarch: The Presidency of Israel A. Smith Bonus Episode - Russell M. Nelson tells us the November policy was motivated by love. He's wrong.

Fred. M's vision of a literal, physical Zion slips even further from his grasp. Church membership is falling, money is tighter than tight, and WWII is just around the corner.  All the Links Read along with us here Support the show here 1933 Saints Herald 1937 Saints Herald C. George Mesley Arthur Oakman Charles Hield Mr. Hield looks pretty fly      

Fred M. has gained complete control of the Church, for both good and bad. Great strides are made in the quest for a physical Zion on earth! And he completely misses how overspent the coffers are, and then a Great Depression wipes out what little resources were left.  All The Links Read along with us here Supreme Directional Control F. Henry Edwards The Graceland College Book of Knowledge, by David Goehner

Brother McGuire stages a coup, sort of, with the help of immense amounts of bureaucracy. Fred M. is temporarily ousted from The Saints Herald, only to regain power at the expense of his younger brother, Israel.    Read along with us here Historical Amnesia: Corporate Identity and Collective Memory General Conference Resolutions  

There's so much controversy that we just don't have anything harmonious, except a tiny little background clause in membership transfer that we'll care about in 1925. Right now it's 1922-1924, and Fred M's leadership is tanking the church. Membership? Money? Happiness? It's bad news bears. Let's yell about it at general conference!!   Read along with us here Historical Amnesia: Corporate Identity and Collective Memory Support the show on Patreon  

Fred M becomes the prophet, and immediately things go awry. He micromanages, he gives his wife biological specimens, he throws down during general conference. It's the first of six controversies!!!!   All the Links Patron Bonus - Sunstone 2019 Read along with us here NPR article about surgery on a boat Historical Amnesia : Corporate Identity and Collective Memory, the doctoral dissertation by Dr. Kenneth Mulliken Rubber suits during baptism  

An era comes to a close as the son of the prophet passes away of old age. Let's recap his life and read his final revelation. Suspicious that his final words from God sound a lot like everything Fred M. wants, eh?   Read along with us here Lyman Wight's recollection of Joseph Smith Jr passing the torch to his son Support the show on Patreon  

Prophet Emeritus Joseph Smith III suddenly sounds an awful lot like his son, Fred M. It's shocking how much the divine will of god aligns with the mortal will of Fred M. This does not bode well.   All the Links Read along with us here Isaac White J.W. Wight Joseph R Lambert Wiliam M Aylor "The Apostolic Office", by Paul Hanson  

R. C. Evans is ousted from the presidency and he is NOT happy about it. He's replaced with "just another Smith".   All The Links Section 129 Pretender to the Throne: R.  C. Evans and the Problem of Presidential Succession Bertha Madison Smith Roger Launius, NASA historian Elbert A. Smith (a grandson) J.F. Curtis

Fred M.'s influence grows ever stronger. The church is (slowly and thoughtfully) on the move from rural everywhere to Independence, MO. Saints are advised to migrate only after they've secured a job and housing, and to integrate kindly with their neighbors.    All The Links Read along with us here Mormon Extermination Order The Stone Church (historical) The Stone Church (today)

The church is in transition from the founders to the next generation. Fred M is named the successor to JS 3.0, money isn't enough for all the things, and are children or old people more important? Discuss.   All the links Read along with us here Health Ministries in the RLDS Church Independence Sanatorium Ennovation Center Mite to Bishop Emma Burton is a Queen (her husband's biography)

Joseph Smith III has a vision. Happily, it streamlines responsibilities within the church and nominates people to leadership positions. It's official canon... but not everyone believed so at the time.   All the Links Read along with us here Support the show on Patreon List of the Presiding Patriarchs Richard P Howard James Caffall Edmund C Briggs R.C. Evans Francis Sheehy Cornelius Butterworth John Rushton  

It's 1901, and the differences between RLDS and LDS are big enough to warrant a full-on comparison. What does the two factions believe? How does the afterlife work? Which is the One True Church?   All the Links Support the show at Patreon Community of Christ (formerly RLDS) vs LDS

The church is at a turning point. Should their money go to the newly-begun Graceland College? What about strengthening their existing membership? Missionary work?  Joseph 3.0 solves it all by taking a turn from Common Consent to Divine Revelation, but in a nice way, not an authoritarian dictator sort of way.   All the Links Read along with us here Gomer T Griffiths History of Graceland Patron Bonus Ep

The Q12 is being fully filled, not just on paper, but in reality. Sure, we could focus on the formality and the procedure. Nope! There's human drama all over the place. Much for fun to focus on that.   All the Links Read along with us here. Presiding Patriarchs E. L. Kelley William W. Blair William H Kelley Isaac White J. W. Wight R. C. Evans    

Be nice to each other!!! For real, just be nice. All this administrative stuff is important, and boring.   All the Links Read along with us Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Temple Lot Case Thomas W Smith Joseph Bazalgette, the sewer architect The Great Stink    

On the surface, this is all some administration and encouragement for unity and peace. Just underneath, two members of the Q12 flounce away while Joseph Smith 3.0's younger brother, David, is committed to a hospital for the insane.    All the Links David H. Smith, the youngest son of the Prophet and Emma From Mission to Madness: Last Son of the Mormon Prophet, by Valeen Tippetts Avery The Sweet Singer of Israel, Deseret News Northern Illinois Hospital for the Insane The Temple Lot Court Case(s) Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Sometimes you just have to write out the boring church policies. Slog through it with us. Please? It's real boring, but we're interesting. Promise. Oh god, go get a drink and chug.   All The Links Read along with us Alexander H Smith

The RLDS drama is so small in comparison to the Brighamite LDS shenanigans of polygamy/theocracy. A few of the leadership flounce away, basically peacefully, a few others pass away. JS 3.0 gently chides the Saints in matters of ceremony.    All the Links Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Wikipedia on The Quorum of the Twelves Apostles Read about Gurley Jr's snit with JS 3.0  RIP, Josiah Ells  

The church is a bit too scattered, consensus isn't quite where it needs to be. JSIII calls his flock back together. Time to solidify the base.   All the Links JSIII and the Kirtland Temple Lawsuit And the article about that lawsuit is here Community of Christ, An Illustrated History   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Read Community of Christ 118 here

RLDS struggles with how to maintain a foundation in Joseph Smith while also distinguishing themselves from Joseph Smith's actions.    All the Links Council of the 12 Apostles The Changing RLDS Reponse to Mormon Polygamy Daniel B Rasey The Oshkosh Northwestern History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint: 1844-1872   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Read along with us, CC 117  

William Marks is called to the presidency. Joseph Smith III ceases to discriminate against "the Negro race" by instituting a separate but equal clause.    Listen to Marie's work wife point out the obvious racism by supporting the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast   All the Links Emancipation Proclamation  William Marks Jim Tankersley interview on Pres. Buchanan  

Drink every time Bryce says "Different!" Joseph Smith III offers his leadership to the newly-founded RLDS church, and immediately differentiates himself from his father and particularly from Brigham Young. The initial revelation sets up a system of tithing. All The Links Read along with us here. Joseph Smith III acceptance speech is here. Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Historian John Hamer of the Community of Christ joins Bryce to talk about the Schism Crisis. Joseph Smith's assassination left a power void, one that Brigham Young filled for the saints who moved to Utah. The ones who stayed reorganized under Joseph Smith, III on April 6, 1860.   All the Links John C. Hamer's wikipedia page The Perils of Occam's Razor Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast  

We wrap up the King Follett Discourse and it's all about the man who passed away, oh wait it's still mostly about Joseph Smith. We get the source phrases for No Man Knows My History, and Infants on Thrones.   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Marie's inherent belief structure gets tossed to the wind as we delve into the infinite regression of gods. The Plan of Salvation is involved, sort of.   Fair Mormon's non-answer to the god regression is here. Read along with us a boap.org here   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

King Follett died in 1844 when a bucket of rocks fell on his head while he was helping dig a well. Joseph Smith spoke at his funeral, for hours, and 4+ people wrote notes of his speech. Let's read it!   All The Links The church's official information is here Read along with us at boap.org   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast FBM 7: Reign of Judges - Title of Liberty

We've heard the first two before! The second one is a treasure trove of little-heard stories.    All the links!!! Patron-only bonus: Deep thoughts on feedback Read the full text at JosephSmithPapers.org The death of Alvin Smith Joseph Smith's feelings on doctors, April 1843 Mormon Political Involvement in Ohio   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Draft 1 of a song via the gift of tongues, translated by Sidney Rigdon, definitely "written" by David W. Patten and not Frederick Williams.   All the links!!! Song, February 27, 1833 Linda Shelley Whiting, author David W. Patten's blessing from Joseph Smith Bigfoot, in Deseret News Encyclopedia of Mormonism's info on David W. Patten A Selection of Early Mormon Hymnbooks, by Shane Chism   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Indexes from here to there, Jesse Gause gets dumped, Minerva Gause is amazing, and we need more paper.  Lincoln Haskins revelation Jesse Gause gets removed Revelation Book 1 Index Long division in Revelation Book 1 Revelation Book 2 Index  

Maybe Joseph was trying to speak Enochian? He definitely was having money problems.    Sample of Pure Language Printing press page purchases Reserve $3,000 (somehow)   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Sometimes all you need is to have a group of guys tell you that your words are true.   Testimony 2 (Joseph Smith Papers) Lost Commandment Found (Deseret News)  

The prophet convinces Frederick G. Williams to give over his house and farm to Joseph Smith, Sr. This plot eventually turned into the plot of land where the Kirtland Temple was built.  Read along with us at JosephSmithPapers.com   Frackin' Bad Mini is back! Marie and Bryce review a kickstarter promo of a concept film for a movie franchise called Reign of Judges: Title of Libery, and it's the best/worst retelling of Moroni they've ever seen.

Joseph Smith commands his inner circle to take his not-yet-published Book of Mormon and sell the copyright up in Canada. That copyright was never sold, so this revelation was never printed.   Read along with us JosephSmithPapers.org   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Welcome apostates back into the church, because YOU could be the reason they rededicate themselves to the faith. Sidney Rigdon writes Oliver Cowdery out of history with a few scribbles of his greedy little pen.   Bonus episode: What should I do when I see pornography?

We all need a break from theology, eh? Here's a sampling of feedback we've gotten in the comments section, Facebook, and email.   Patron Bonus - State of the Podcast 2018

Sidney Rigdon asserts that sufficient faith can do all things, while also making some deeply offensive statements about child mortality.  Final grade of the Lectures on Faith: D-- Drink count - enough to get you through this   Read along with us at https://comparedandc.com/ Support the show at Patreon.com/Mybookofmormonpodcast

The episode that straw-mans itself. Faith is the true principle of theology, the gasoline that powers the universe, the source of all truth.   Drink count - 1 Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Read along with us at https://comparedandc.com/

You'll know you're in the right path when you know you're following God's will, but this won't tell you specifically how to know you know. Definitely be a martyr for your god. Does it matter if other people are injured or killed because you won't deny your god? Nope! Their needs don't matter, only you not denying a god you probably aren't entirely certain if you're following correctly. This gets real dark, real quick. Read along with us at https://comparedandc.com/ Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

If you say it three times, it's true.   Patron bonus - Thanksgiving 2018

Knowledge, faith/power, justice, judgement, mercy, truth. By a little reflection it will be seen, that the idea of the existence of these attributes in the Deity, is necessary to enable any rational being to exercise faith in him.  Yeah. Sure. Let's go with that. Patron bonus - Frakkin' Bad Movies 4: Lorenzo Returns  

In which we figure out that the Q&A was probably a quick-reference guide for anyone teaching this. You should absolutely read Romans 16, it's glorious. Romans Chapter 16, KJV Drink count - 0 Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

God is unchanging. Rational people know it, intelligent people know it, faithful people know it. Or maybe God changes all the time, as evidenced by The Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the D&C.    Drink count - 1 (so make it count)   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Patron Bonus - Bryce got engaged!!!!

Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes that reason is Sidney Rigdon. Long-time listener of the show Gottfried The Hirsute joins us to give a greater context for why Sidney, we mean Joseph Smith, wrote the Lectures on Faith.  Leave your opinions about Gottfried's Sidney Ridgon Book of Mormon theory over at MyBookofMormonPodcast.com. Read the Lecture 1 Comments here. Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Oh dear Heavenly Father, why is there so much repetition?? Why, Joseph Smith, why??? Drink count - 4 Read along with us at https://comparedandc.com/ Patron Bonus - Will Marie start a new podcast???

The only thing more entertaining than a rehashing of the creation story is to read genealogies.  Drink count - 6   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Read D. Todd Christofferon's entire talk about faith at LDS.org Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Faith is the foundation of all things, obviously. Without faith, literally nothing else exists!!! Pay no attention to the obvious flaws in these statements. *waves hands in a distracting fashion*   Drink count - 2   Read along with us a CompareDandC.com Listen to Marie and Colleen at Mormon Happy Hour  

President Gordon B Hinckley presented this gem during part of a speech given on September 23, 1995.    Drink whenever you can't handle these words anymore.

Church leadership was powerless - POWERLESS - to change their extremely racist policy. After a bunch of petitioning, god changed his mind about black people. Drink count - 6 Read along with us on LDS.org   Patreon Bonus - The Interfaith Chapel

Wilford Woodruff writes a memo to the Saints, which then has to be followed up with a few "No, seriously, we mean it!" lectures. Refrain from polygamy because OMG, what if the government takes all our stuff???    Drink count - around 5   Read along with us at Official Declaration 1

Pres. Joseph F. Smith has a dream in 1918 and behold (drink!) it did bring unto him a revelation from God. Or it's D&C fanfic from an old guy nearing the end of his days. You be the judge. Drink count - 2 Read along with us at CompareDandC.com   Patron Bonus - Protect LDS Children/McKenna Denson

Throwback to before the Kirtland Temple Dedication! Joseph lets you know that you definitely need this temple because ordinances, and do those ordinances so your ancestors have the chance to get into heaven.  Head over to the Twitters to vote on where we take the show next!   Patron Bonus - How *you* doin'?

It's winter in Omaha Nation/future Iowa and Brigham Young has a plan. Gather your things and prepare to head to Mexico/future Utah. There may be room for some of your possessions, there won't be much room for food.  Drink count - 2 Read along with us at CompareDandC.com   Many thanks to supporters of this show for Marie's new sound setup! Bonus Episode - Studio Hallway Closet is no more

Joseph and Hyrum Smith are deceased, and we all need a solid emotional outburst in response. Grab your pint of ice cream and your favorite spoon, it's time to eat/talk our feelings.   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Sunstone Symposium 2018 has graciously given us permission to broadcast our presentation at this year's conference. If you'd like to listen to other presentations, they are available for purchase at https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/purchase-audio/.    Bonus episode - Behind the Scenes of the Presentation

In which two years worth of readings culminate in Marie finally learning how Joseph Smith dies.   Find Mormon Happy Hour and Colleen Dietz at AngelsOnFire.org, or search for Mormon Happy Hour wherever podcasts are found   Patron Bonus Episode - Live Show, Behind The Scenes!!!

Miracle of Forgiveness - The Sin Next to Murder Spencer W. Kimball continues to tear us down as the horrible humans we are, with special attention to the divorced harlots of the world. 

Live show, July 27, 2018! 8pm, Squatter’s on 147 Broadway in SLC The Miracle of Forgiveness was written by Spencer W. Kimball and has been removed from the approved reading list for missionaries. We're reading chapter 5, The Sin Next To Murder.

Live show, July 27, 2018 8pm, Squatter's on 147 Broadway in SLC   The Miracle of Forgiveness was written by Spencer W. Kimball and has been removed from the approved reading list for missionaries. 

William Law and friends continue to call upon Joseph Smith to stop leading the saints astray and return to monogamy and a monotheistic religion. Joseph responds by seizing their printing press and burning it, and all found copies of the Nauvoo Expositor, to the ground.    Live Show on Friday, July 27, 8pm at Squatter's in downtown SLC Marie and Bryce's presentation at Sunstone is on Saturday, July 28 at 10:15am   Patron Bonus - Porter Rockwell The Nauvoo Expositor

William Law and friends published the first and only edition of The Nauvoo Expositor on June 7, 1844. This was the newspaper published by dissident Mormons which was declared a "public nuisance" by the Nauvoo City Council on June 8, 1844. By authority of the Council's order the Expositor press was destroyed that same day and the newspaper was immediately shut down. It never resumed publication.   Drink Count - As needed   Patron Bonus: Raw emotions after a witnessed car crash The Nauvoo Expositor

Throwback to July 2017 when Marie accidentally invited missionaries to her house.

Today’s political statement/revelation lets us know the church believes you should follow secular law… kind of? It definitely is a pro-slavery church because that’s what this revelation plainly says. Once more for the people in the back, THE CHURCH CONDONES SLAVERY. Drink count – 0 Patron Bonus: Marie and Bryce catch up from vacation How to Vote In Every State – YouTube Ear Hustle brings you the stories of life inside prison, shared and produced by those living it Opening Arguments breaks down the Colorado baker case Joseph Bishop is accused of sexual assault during his time running the MTC 

This was originally the appendix/closing of the Book of Commandments. Since the BoC was never fully published, it was included as part of the revelations instead of a separate appendix. It's the return of Pangea at the end of days, with a brief visit to Canada first. Eternity is singing to god. That god is having a big ol' tantrum because his creations aren't paying him enough attention, so watch out or he'll send you to outer darkness.   Drink Count - 19   The Links Patron Bonus - Marie vs the Texas accent CompareDandC.com

D&C 101 was in the 1835 and 1844 versions of the D&C... and then was removed. You can't find it referenced on LDS.org, so it's almost as if it was *gasp* removed entirely so that it wouldn't conflict so drastically with modern day D&C 132. Here's what it says:   You can get married to a non-believer, you'll just be marked as "weak". When you get married it should be public and done according to local laws. Your officiant needs to wing it, no writing a ceremony beforehand! Pledge to be monogamous to your hetero spouse. Monogamy is the only option, heterosexuality is the only sexuality, public is the only type of ceremony to be done.   Drink count - 0   The Links Fair Mormon apologist view on D&C 101's removal D&C 101 on Joseph Smith Papers Patron Bonus: Marie joined a Mormon dating site

Colleen Dietz and Miranda Crandall from the Mormon Happy Hour Podcast join us to drink our way through the second half of polygamy. Follow, support, listen, for they are amazing. Joseph Smith shames Emma Smith for even daring to potentially have given a glance at William Law while asserting his own power to "seal" with anyone he desires. Virgins are the best! So are the non-virgins who have been vetted for their worth. #barf The Petticoat Affair - Peggy Eaton was a widow, not a divorcee as I'd stated.  All The Links MBOM Patron Bonus Episode: A brief history of the Detroit stake, aka the most awkward photo shoot ever Mormon Happy Hour Podcast  @MormonHappyHour Patreon.com/MormonHappyHour    

Polygamy!!! It's happening!!!! Joseph spends all day in a room with William Clayton and Hyrum Smith penning this revelation. It's such an important revelation that if you don't follow it you WILL NOT GET INTO HEAVEN. This is when we find out that men who enter into the principle of plural marriage are the ones who become gods after they die.   George D Smith - Nauvoo Polygamy: But We Called It Celestial Marriage   Cristina Rosetti is brilliant and amazing and you should follow her on Twitter   Patron bonus: Miracle of Forgiveness - The Sin Next to Murder, Part 3  

The Nauvoo Mormons are being fast-tracked into Masonry, which we should care about, but we care more about how to identify a good or bad spirit. Angels get their own planet, as do men, but not women. Joseph prophesies the Civil War.   Patron Bonus: The Miracle of Forgiveness, The Sin Next To Murder, Part 2

Is there a specific calling for Baptism for the Dead clerk? Email Marie at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com because she really needs to know. More on baptisms for the dead. There should always be at least 2 witnesses, ideally 3, for each baptism. The church recorder should record each one, and also record sealings. This book is somehow also created in heaven (not sure why). Know that if your name isn't in this official holy church record then God won't find you and be able to let you into the celestial kingdom. Now, go build that temple!!!!!!   Patron Bonus: Miracle of Forgiveness, Part 1    

Joseph has married another 14 women and managed to turn himself into the mayor of Nauvoo, IL. In celebration, he nopes out of town until his followers repay his debts. He'll make like the apostle Paul and write letters to the believers. Definitely make sure you keep track of who is getting baptized during baptisms for the dead. Drink count - 4   Patron Bonus: How should we talk about polygamy and consent?   Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast Email Marie at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Build up a city on the Iowa side of the river, possibly so that Joseph can escape jurisdiction in Illinois by hopping over the border from Nauvoo to Montrose. Brigham Young has returned from his mission overseas and brought an influx of believers from England. Plural marriage is full-on happening, and it's not always incredibly full of consent. Nephi's Courage   Patron Bonus: "I do Mormonism for fun" is one heck of a conversation!   Read along with us at https://comparedandc.com/

Sidney Rigdon has been hitting the bottle a bit too hard and is considering going back to Ohio. Joseph strikes that down by telling him to not only stay in Illinois, but to move closer to Joseph's soon-to-be built mansion. Robert D. Foster enters the timeline! Don't spoil it for Marie, just google him and leave zero comments about it. Also, Nauvoo House is the 1841 equivalent to a 2018 start-up in Silicon Valley. Viva la Melchizedek Priesthood!!!! Drink count - ??? This was part 5, I stopped counting long ago   Patron Bonus - Technical Difficulties in Podcasting   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Leave a comment at MyBookofMormonPodcast.com

The Nauvoo house is owned by the Community of Christ today, but now is when the saints are told to build it. The church issues "investments" into the creation of the Nauvoo house, which looks suspiciously like a terrible idea. Oliver Cowdery is replaced by Hyrum Smith and William Law is given a few too many superpowers.   Drink count - lots? I wasn't keeping track, my bad   Patron Bonus: Bryce went to the Protect LDS Children march   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Contact me directly at Comments@MyBookofMormonPodcast.com Leave a comment at https://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/  

If you build a temple, they will come. *channels Field of Dreams* Baptism for the dead is mentioned for the first time! It has to be done, but only AFTER the Nauvoo Temple is built, so give us all your resources to build that before we build houses for our own. No specific timeline, god understands that bad people may try to stop the Saints, don't worry about it.    Drink count - a LOT, plus a shot   Patron Bonus: Sister Missionary Action Figurines!!!!!!!   Quorum Podcast

Mormonism is about to become entwined with Masonry. Joseph Smith now can say he's Joseph Smith Sr since his dad has passed away, which is kinda sneaky, but works. April 6 is Jesus's birthday, God loves Hyrum Smith, and the Nauvoo House is decreed to be built. Obviously, it doesn't go as planned. Don't worry everyone, it'll all end up okay because heaven exists and if you die, that's where you go. The Morgan Affair    Patron Bonus Episode: Yet another religious figure gets handsy     Support the show at Patron.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Joseph and his BFFs escape/bribe the guards to get out of jail and run off to a malaria-ridden swamp in Illinois. He heads to D.C. to take the saint's grievances to Pres. Van Buren, saving the passengers of a runaway coach along the way. Van Buren doesn't help them, so they start the trek back to Illinois. John C. Bennett enters the timeline by becoming Joseph's unofficial second in command. He's a politician/lobbyest whose sway is critical in the creation of the city of Nauvoo. That Nauvoo charter grants Joseph some broad powers that will come in quite handy in the future (but we're not there yet). It's the episode where free will doesn't exist!!! Drink count - 3 Patron Bonus: Frakkin' Bad Movie Ep 3 - Lorezno's Songbook   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Email Marie at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Joseph and his BFFs escape/bribe the guards to get out of jail and run off to a malaria-ridden swamp in Illinois. He heads to D.C. to take the saint's grievances to Pres. Van Buren, saving the passengers of a runaway coach along the way. Van Buren doesn't help them, so they start the trek back to Illinois.   Patron Bonus: Bryce will be in SLC on March 30, 2018!

Joseph instructs his followers to gather evidence of how bad bad bad the Missourians were to the saints, such that eventually he can take those grievances to the president. Polygamy is happening, just on the sly. Wife #3, Lucinda Harris has entered the timeline (probably). Drink count - 0   Patron Bonus: Rob Porter is a BAD Mormon   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Brigham Young is leading the exodus of the Mormons from Missouri to Illinois while Joseph twiddles his thumbs in jail. Joseph feels his power slipping away and pens an epistle to his followers. God is either loving or wrathful, the priesthood authority comes from that love/wrath, so priesthood authority is always love. Wait, what?   Drink count - 8   Patron Bonus: Amanda sleuthed at the ward house, and a missionary update!   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Read along with us at CompareDandC.com    

TRIGGER WARNING: Historical violence   In the aftermath of the Battle of Crooked River things continue to escalate. The saints living in Haun's Mill are massacred, and eventually Joseph and his BFFs are arrested. Brigham Young is now going to run the church while Joseph and the other important church leaders are sitting in jail. Mormon Extermination Order    Drink count - 2 beers   Patron Bonus: Marie ponders the dead and the survivors   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Episode 193: The Mormon War, Part 1 Joseph and the leadership of the church (minus Brigham Young) are in the Liberty Jail after they lost the Mormon War of 1838. How did they get there? Behold (drink!), part 1 of Bryce educating us all on the terrible decisions made by basically everyone in the fall of 1838. Patron Bonus Episode: Marie and Bryce their adventures about Seattle The Mormon War in Missouri, by Stephen C LeSueur   Drink count - whatever you want it to be   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

MBoM has a motto now!!! "Taken out of context it means nothing, which means it means anything you want it to."   All three witnesses to the golden plates have been excommunicated! Thomas Marsh needs to stay in Missouri and work, all the other leaders in the church need to go out and get more followers. Don't worry, God will provide for their families, just GFTO, leadership. In spring, go to Europe!!! Tithing is giving all your excess to the church as an initial outlay, then give 10% for the rest of your life. Yes, that's really what Joseph means to say. Drink count - 7   Patron Bonus - All about Uchtdorf (presidential politics)   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Contact Marie at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Read along with us at CompareDandC.com

Please sign Sam Young's petition to stop bishop interviews of underage children about sexually explicit topics by following this link to ProtectLDSChildren.org. Pres. Monson's obituary in the NY Times  Spring Hill is renamed to Adam-ondi-Ahman!!! This is where Christ will return. Then Joseph organizes a group of enforcers and creepily tests some of his followers to make sure they toe the party line.   Drink count - 4   Patron Bonus Episode: Marie is hopping mad at her local bishop.   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Podcastriarchal Blessing: Jacob C. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit, edited for length  

Joseph and his BFFs fled Ohio in January 1838, excommunicated the Kirtland Mormons, then reestablished their church in Far West, Missouri. Oliver Cowdery and David Whitmer are tossed out, chaos everywhere! Time for a few revelations that will definitely get Joseph out of this mess. Spoiler, not what happened. 113: Fluff of no substance, kinda based in Isaiah. Zion's choker necklace is somehow related to a curse that scattered the church from Zion? Something something bands around her neck something something. 114: Dear Dave, give me all your assets and tell people how cool I am. Sincerely, Joe 115: God decrees they build a temple in Far West, Missouri. Spoiler, not what happened.   Drink count - 10   Patron Bonus - Bryce tells us about his FLDS tour in Short Creek   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Contact Marie at Comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Thomas B Marsh is ostensibly the recipient of this revelation, but in reality it's all about Joseph being the Most Important and that the leadership of the church needs to make sure their assets are belong to the church. Gold doesn't melt in campfires!!! Thomas B Marsh  Here's a listing of the current General Authorities and their ages.  Scream Drink count - 11 Patron Bonus: Bryce is about to go into FLDS territory Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Oliver and Joseph "see Jesus", then Joseph bugs out of town to find treasure, cleverly avoiding a potential sex scandal by doing so. Fannie Alger has entered the timeline! Drink count - 6!   Patron Bonus: Frakkin' Bad Movies 2 - The Work of God   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast  

Cody Noconi joins us from the Psilly Rabbits Podcast to discuss possible entheogen use during the Kirtland Temple dedication. While nothing actually interesting is said during the actual revelation, basically everything surrounding it is fascinating. Drink count - 0   Patron Bonus Episode  - Windows in classroom doors, a call to action!   Listen to Psilly Rabbits Podcast here Listen to Marie's interview about divorce on Two Broads Talking Politics Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Contact us at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

108 Lyman Sherman: "I'm part of the council of the 70! Now what?"  God/Joseph Smith: "Chillax, I haven't figured it out yet." 109 The church's magnum opus is being dedicated! The Kirtland temple was four years in the making and had plunged Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon into deep, deep debt. Drink count - 2 Patron Bonus - Marie and Bryce discuss Marie's full church service experience Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

The priesthood is The Force, the church teaches you how to use that priesthood authority to do All The Things. After that we get the lineage/genealogy of priesthood authority. To sum up, be biologically male, don't be slothful, middle management is the best, don't be born unto the Levitical line of Judaism. Names with their LDS.org links, kinda not a geneology! Seth  Enos, son of Seth  Mahalaleel, father of Jared  Jared, I couldn't find a link for him on LDS.org! Enoch, 7th son of Adam  Jeremy Runnell's excommunication on YouTube  and a link to his Mormon Stories interview    Patron Bonus: Marie went to an entire 3 hour church service Read along with us at CompareDandC.com  

Like herding puppies through a bacon factory, things haven't been going smoothly. Joseph and his BFFs have returned to Kirtland after the Zion's Camp fiasco. First, Oliver's older brother is sent out to be a missionary, then we learn specifics of how the priesthood works. Specifically, it rewrites church history/timelines such that Joseph is a legitimate elder in the church rather than just a guy who decided to start a religion. Patron Bonus Episode: Mormon Craigslist Encounter, The Continuation   CofC: Melchisedec LDS: Melchizedek Warren A Cowdery.    David Whitmer: And Address to All Believers Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Read along with us at CompareDandC.com  

Cholera sweeps through the Mormons camped on the Fishing River, which hopefully had nothing to do with the remains of a dead "warrior" that Joseph has been carrying around? Most of the saints stay in Missouri on  account of a lack of resources to return to Kirtland, OH. Joseph and his BFFs get on a wagon and return to Ohio. Check out Zelph on the Shelf here!  They're on YouTube here.   Drink count - 7, or about one beer The "real" Zelph can be read about here.   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Email me at Comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

First, a quick recap of Mormon history up until June 1835, then Joseph tells his weary band of followers that this entire walk from Ohio to Missouri has been for naught. Bonus points for victim blaming.   Check out this list of Zion's Camp participants   Patron Bonus: Marie responds to a Mormon Craiglist personals ad   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/Mybookofmormonpodcast  

The church assets continue to be broken up and given to Joseph's inner circle. Who is the treasurer over the new treasury? TBD, we guess. John Johnson's Inn  Patron Bonus: Marie and Amanda tour the church building Drink count - ??? A couple, probably. Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Podcastriarchal Blessing: Thomas Podcastriarchal Music: Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Click here for a Porter Rockwell picture  Joseph re-allocates the church's possessions to his inner circle. Step 1: Get rid of the Bad People in your inner circle by politicking them out of said inner circle so you can take their portion. Step 2: Give the big items to people who might know what to do with it. Step 3: Don't worry about it if your name is John Johnson and literally your entire farm and land is being given to a crazy guy named Martin Harris.   Patron Bonus Episode: The Return of the Sister Missionaries (plus 1) Drink Count - 7 Here are two takes on the recent actions take by Salt Lake City officials to remove the homeless from view. It's a good thing because it's a targeted approach It's a bad thing, it just scatters people without helping Council of 50: Minutes  Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/Mybookofmormonpodcast  

The saints in Kirtland start gathering together in preparation for a march down to Missouri to retake Zion. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman  Zion's Camp  Kathrine Switzer   Drink count - 11   Patron Bonus Episode: Marie and Bryce attempt to go to Alma   LDS D&C: https://www.comparedandc.com/ Community of Christ D&C: Kindle Version Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Contact us at Comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal Blessing: Jessica Podcastriarchal Music: Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit (edited for length)

NOT A REVELATION. Sidney Rigdon gets written out of history in a few decades, but for right now he's one of the three most important people in the church. Joseph sets up a hierarchy and a quasi-basis for church organization that will eventually morph into the Quorum of the Twelve. You're required to listen to this podcast three times to really get the full effect.   Drink count - 0   Patron Bonus Episode: Bryce gives us the skinny on the disaster that was Mythinformation Milwaukee 2017   Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Parable time!!! Always be watchful that the enemy may steal all your stuff... or maybe don't be a terrible manager? Then go buy a bunch of land out in Missouri. It's the episode where Bryce's foster dog is jingling a collar the entire time. Parable of the Tares Parable of the Unjust Judge Drink Count - 6   Patron Bonus: Marie and Joel tour the Ark Encounter   Contact us at Comments@Mybookofmormonpodcast.com Support the show at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

God is allowing the Mormons to be persecuted because apparently they're sinning too much? Sidney Rigdon (probably) scribed this amazing piece of victim-blaming. Watchmen upon the tower Patron Bonus Episode: Marie tours the Creation Museum and isn't struck by lightning Drink Count - 11, or a little over a beer   LDS D&C: https://www.comparedandc.com/ Community of Christ D&C: Kindle Version Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Contact us at Comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal Blessing: F.P. Podcastriarchal Music: Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit (edited for length)

1832: John Murdock is sent out to be a missionary, again. 1833: Joseph Smith heads east to get some help/advice/manpower to help deal with the troubles in Missouri. Marie and Bryce talk about abortion and family planning in the 1800s John Murdock's twins were adopted by Joseph and Emma Smith  Freeman Nickerson fought in the War of 1812 and was a recent convert to the church  Orson Hyde was in the area when Joseph went to New York  John Gould was, too.    Drink count - Not enough   LDS D&C: https://www.comparedandc.com/ Community of Christ D&C: Kindle Version Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Contact us at Comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal Blessing: John A Podcastriarchal Music: Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit (edited for length)

Joseph waxes poetical about the importance of forgiveness. How much, how often, how to ensure generational feuds are perpetuated etc. The headings indicate it's about Zion, but since it only mentions Kirtland..... Yeah. Guess how Marie and Bryce feel about that.    LDS D&C: https://www.comparedandc.com/ Community of Christ D&C: Kindle Version Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Contact us at Comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Dale Luffman is the Ecumenical and Interfaith Officer for the Community of Christ. Community of Christ shares its first 14 years with the modern day LDS church and officially became a separate religion in 1860. Dale walks us through the history of the church, and how its history has impact Community of Christ's entirely separate Doctrine and Covenants. The Book of Mormon's Witness to Its First Readers  National Council of Churches  Sharing in Community of Christ: Exploring Identity, Mission, Message, and Beliefs List of Community of Christ's presidents  Reed Smoot was a Mormon apostle elected to the United States Senate in 1902  John Whitmer Historical Association Annual Conference  The Joseph Smith Revelations: Text and Commentary, by H. Michael Marquardt Community of Christ website: https://www.cofchrist.org/ To get your own D&C email sales@heraldhouse.org or call 816-521-3015   Become a Patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast  

The saints living in Independence, Missouri have spent their summer being beaten, whipped, run out of town, and generally having a dire time. They seek their prophet's help, and Joseph tells them God wants them to build a temple in Independence.  Drink count - 14 Patron Bonus Episode: Missionary Visit #5, the one where Marie tells them about this podcast   Read along with us at https://www.comparedandc.com/ Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Contact us at Comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Joseph digs himself deeper into debt by revelating a need for more office buildings in Kirtland, then divides up a parcel of land amongst his BFFs.  Drink count - 12 (or a bit over one beer) Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Patron Bonus Episode: Frakking Bad Movies Episode 1 - Time or Eternity?   Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

In either April, May, or August 1833 Joseph tells us that Zion is in Kirtland, so apparently Zion isn't in Missouri? Kirtland gets an office building and a temple, Joseph and two of his BFFs get houses. Schools of the Prophets Hyrum Smith Reynolds Cahoon Jared Carter Naked Mormonism episode 28  Bryce and I talk about his Sunstone Presentation  Creation Museum Ken Ham tried some shady money dealings to keep his Ark afloat.  Drink count - 4 Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Support Bryce’s show at Patreon.com/NakedMormonism

Read along with us at CompareDandC.com Joseph channels John Chapter 1 to tell us God is always with us, then admonishes his BFFs and their families to toe the line (again). Patron Bonus Episode: Marie and Bryce Go to Church Drink count - 12 Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Support Bryce’s show at Patreon.com/NakedMormonism Podcastriarchal Blessing: Dr. Faustus Podcastriarchal Music: Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit (edited for length)

Act 1: Sexual Purity Act 2: Bryce quizzes Marie on Mormon trivia Many thanks to Doug at Squatter's in downtown Salt Lake City for giving us a wonderful place to host our very first live show.

Live show on July 29, 7p doors, 8p start at Squatters in Salt Lake City The apocrypha totes doesn't matter, and Marie can't pronounce anything in Wikipedia. Frederick G Williams joins the United Firm, so basically he get's initiated into the super-inner-circle. Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Sunstone Symposium Drink count - 3 (don't even bother, it's not enough to even crack open the beer) Support the show at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Support Bryce's show at Patreon.com/NakedMormonism Podcastriarchal Blessing: Alice Podcastriarchal Music: Our Happy Life, by Maps and Transit (edited for length)

Live show, July 29, 2017 at Squatter's in Salt Lake City. Gathering begins at 7pm, show at 8pm. Joseph solved a power grab attempt by Rigdon by making Ridgon, Frederick G Williams, and Joseph "equal". Being a Gentile or a Jew is very confusing. Joseph revelates the life savings away from the only named woman in the D&C that's not his wife. Vienna Jacques Drink count - 16, or about a beer and a half Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Kent M Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

The folklore is that this was given because Joseph and his buddies were chewing tobacco in the room above the kitchen and it was dripping down onto Emma Smith below. It's Word of Wisdom time!!! The Millerites Watch Ke$ha brush her teeth with a bottle of jack  The Zion Curtain has fallen Read what Bryce was reading here Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Drink count - 7, plus as many as the spirit compels you to consume Patron Bonus Episode: Marie talks with missionaries about the Word of Wisdom

Are you fasting??? You should be. Proselytize all the time!!! If you aren't seeking god, then you are hosed. Eclipse, earthquake, stars will be knocked out of orbit, bad storms with big waves, women are evil. Skip to verse 99 for useful information about resurrections, which isn't at all helpful for the upbuilding of Zion, but whatever, get over it. Marie is going to die at the 7th trumpet. Check out Preston's project at MoHos. Wrath Wines Vineyard Patron bonus episode: Marie meets missionaries!!!! Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Emerson Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Live show: July 29, 7pm at Squatter's in Salt Lake City Zion gets built up by... honestly, we're not sure. God is everywhere, god is light, god will fill you. The earth shall die, it will be born again, and the righteous will inherit it. Kirtland = Outer Darkness. Once you die you'll understand all this, so don't worry about understanding it now. 16 drinks + 1 shot for For, For, so about three full beverages. Inara Serra is a character from my favorite TV show of all time, Firefly.  Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Clan FiberEnabler Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare First, a discussion of an apologist view of why chapter 84 isn't a false prophesy. Second, Joseph predicts a civil war, as well as a plague and an earthquake. Does this make him a prophet? Ehhhhhh........ probably not. Read every apologetic Mormon argument ever at FairMormon.com Read listener Scott's commentary on Chapter 84 at http://3scriptures.com/ Fair Mormon explanation of Joseph's temple revelation from chapter 84 Drink count - 6 Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Joseph's new scribe has a completely different tone, and it's boring. The United Firm is kinda sorta failing at managing money on account of them never having enough money. If you don't give your properties/monies to the church then you will be cut off from heaven. It's the episode where Babylon is a total whore. Drink count – 11, or about a beer and a half Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Jack M. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Live show at Squatters Pub in SLC at 7pm on Saturday, July 29, 2017. Check the Facebook page for more details as it comes available. Your job as a high priest is to recruit more people. True believers are are not bound by sin will have superpowers! Bryce was an idiot and got bitten by a snake. The gospel applies to everyone from Sept. 22, 1832 forward!!! As you go out on your missions, go without food or supplies because God will make you invincible and always provided for. Make sure you leave your money behind. While on your mission, if you find a newer missionary or a helper, give them all your grunt work. Drink count – 12, or about 2 beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com  

Viva la priesthood! Women not invited. Basically an influx of new members are increasing the need for middle management. Additionally, here are some specific revelations included that didn't come true or are contradictory. 1. The new city of Zion will be built in the Temple Lot. 2. It will happen in this generation (the 1832 generation). 3. No one will pollute Jackson County. Drink count – 5, or a little less than one beer Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Mindy M Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

July 29, 2017 eveningish, meet up with us at Squatter's Pub in Salt Lake City. We'll probably record a live episode and would love to have you there!! Jesse Gause is called to be a high counselor to Joseph Smith in his very own revelation, except then history is rewritten to make it be a revelation for Frederick G Williams. Joseph's inner circle is back, now with nicknames! Everyone is exceedingly sinful/steadfastly good. Go get more converts, especially ones with money. Zion needs to pretty itself up. It's the episode where Marie and Bryce rant about the Prosperity Doctrine. Jesse Gause Frederick G Williams  Check out the Symonds Ryder name-spelling controversy here. Jim and Tammy Bakker were televangelists back in the late 1980's.  Lwaxana Troi is a character in Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Drink count – 16, or about two and a half beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Laurel K. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Help us make the 1876 D&C into something usable! Email Joel Kuhn at dccompare@gmail.com to help with the proofreading. Thanks! The poor are established (built up, not created) via the United Firm. This is a fancy way to say the church is setting up a welfare system for members of the church. Joseph revelates himself into a nickname, and maybe a city? You must be equal here on earth to get equal things in heaven (except some people are MORE equal). If you want to get into heaven make sure you're doing all the things you're  supposed to down here. Joseph and his peeps get code names. CODE NAMES (omg). Adam-on-diamon is a place where the big wigs give their keys to Jesus via Adam, who will usher in the end times. Jared Carter Stephen Burnett Eden Smith Hearts Made Glad, by LaMar Peterson - An book by and LDS historian that asserted Joseph Smith's propensity to alter his mind. A lot. Welfare Square Dante's Inferno God Awful Movies - The Burning Hell  Salt: A World History   Drink count - 12, or about two beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Philip S. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

We had such a deluge of astonishingly thorough and informative comments on Section 76 that we made a separate bonus episode just to review them. Thank you so much, everyone! Read all the comments here: D&C 76, Part 1 D&C 76, Part 2   There's a bonus patron-only episode that happens every week over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast! It's available to every patron, regardless of donation level. You can also snag some sweet, sweet swag, like drink coasters and pint glasses.

Let's get spiritual! Joseph answers our questions about the Book of Revelation (the bible one) by not answering anything. Read about the 1876 addition to the D&C here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctrine_and_Covenants#Sections_added_to_LDS_edition Christopher Walken was the Archangel Gabriel in the movie The Prophecy.  Rot your brain with tribulation fan-fiction by reading the Left Behind series.  Smoke count - 2 (or however much you need to get spiritual) Drink count – 3 Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Sean S Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Study manual for Chapter 76 on the LDS site!  Telestial: HELL!!!! But temporary. Terrestrial: For good people who weren't Mormon when they died but haven't heard "the law" and weren't baptised Celestial: Double plus awesome Outer Darkness: Not a thing that exists (yet) The Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory (LIGO) is a large-scale physics experiment and observatory to detect cosmic gravitational waves and to develop gravitational-wave observations as an astronomical tool. Esaias is Isaiah!  Mark Twain called reading The Book of Mormon "chlorform in print"  Drink count  - 4 Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Mindy Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

What happens to us when you die? Resurrection 1 - good people. Resurrection 2 - bad people. Lucifer is bad and is now in hell. Punctuation is terrible, almost as terrible as apostacy!! Marie and Bryce will be there, drinking coffee, ruling alongside Lucifer, and wondering about why their worm is dead. The good people (men) are of the Church of the Firstborn and become (men) gods. All ur stuff r belong to Christ. Christ is middle management to God, so all ur stuff r belong to God. Drink count - 4 (so lame, do shots instead) Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Julie B. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

CORRECTION: Cleveland was never the capital of Ohio. At this point in history it was Columbus. Have fun in sales! Everyone is a vineyard. It's a throwback to last June when everyone was being sent out to be like a trump unto the wilderness. Bryce almost has an aneursym because he wants to tell me all about these dudes who are about to do stuff in the church, but NO, NO SPOILERS. After you die you get to judge the people who treated you poorly!!! Check out this fine list of Wikipedia page links: William E McLellan - He wrote lots of journals  Luke Johnson - Brother of Lyman Johnson Orson Hyde - Used to be anti-Mormon, then converted when his pastor, Sidney Rigdon joined up with Joseph Smith  Samuel Smith - Joseph Smith's younger brother Lyman Johnson - Brother of Luke Johnson Orson Pratt - Joined the same time as his brother, Parley Pratt  Asa Dodds - Just a dude.  Calves Wilson - "Little else is known about him"  Major Ashley - From Massachusetts! Burr Riggs - Known for frothing at the mouth and getting revelations by hitting his head against the wall.  Simeon Carter - Farmer!  Emer Harris - Just a dude Ezra Thayer - Built bridges, dams, and mills, from Palmyra Thomas B Marsh - An original member from way back in the way back Hiram Smith - Joseph Smith's brother  Reynolds Cahoon - Just a dude (for now) Daniel Stanton - Just a dude. Seymore Brudson - Junest a dude (for now) Sylvester Smith - Bryce really likes him in 1834. In 1832, not really of note.  Gideon Carter - Just a dude. Ruggles Eames - Just a dude. Not a teddy bear. Steven Burnett - Just a dude. Micah B Welton - Just a dude. Eden Smith - Just dude. Stephen Hawking threw a party for time travellers. Read all about the discovery of caffeine here: Coffee!!!!  Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at https://www.patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Jay M Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Marie takes a week off because ouch ouch root canals ouch ouch. Be advised the chapter 74 *is* a time jump back to 1830, it wasn't a misprint last week.  Regular shows will return next week!

Read along with us at Joelakuhn.com/dc-compare The PR problem caused by Ezra Booth's anti-Mormon shenanigans have died down, so now it's time to return to what you were doing. Joseph and Sidney are to go back to translating the bible. Then we jump back in time to 1830 to talk about baptism (sort of). Did you know that circumcision and baptism are kinda sorta related? Bring on the Baptist perspective! Drink count - 5, or barely a beer if you take huge swigs Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Jefferson D Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Ezra Booth has caused a public image problem by publishing a bunch of anti-mormon letters in the local newspapers. Joseph decides to solve this by sending out his followers to get more followers. Newel K. Whitney is called to be a bishop! It's a bit different than Edward Partridge, who is bishop over all the money and the belongings. Newel is mostly keeping the meeting minutes? Joseph heavily implies that everyone should keep a journal, which is a problem since apparently general authorities kinda don't. Methinks section 72 is the genesis of modern day recommends... Be advised that Jim has watched every episode of The Bachelor this season. Read the story of one woman married to seven brothers here in both Matthew and Luke. Catherine of Alexandria was a Catholic saint who was aces at converting people to Christianity. Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Catherine C Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Bryce is going on a road trip! Drop him a line at nakedmormonism@gmail.com if you live near a major Mormon historical site. He'd love to meet you! Chapter 69 is a tangible revelation with a measurable result, and measurable results were achieved!!!!! Oliver Cowdery needs a chaperone on his trip to Zion while holding all of the church's money and revelations, John Whitmer is now designated as gopher/church historian. Chapter 70 is all about giving your excess to the bishop's church, kind of, but in reality we aren't quite sure what it's saying. #equality Newel K Whitney becomes a bishop in basically the next chapter. Priestcraft is mentioned in the Book of Mormon, but since David didn't know about it, I didn't know about it.   Drink count - 7, or about one beer Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a patron at Patreon.com/mymookofmormonpodcast

Marie goes to church for the first time in years and makes her friend Marissa experience the adventure with her.  Then there is ice cream. Learn more about the Pussyhat at https://www.pussyhatproject.com/ Smash the Patriarchy decals can be purchased on Etsy from SlapYourLlama Knitpicks is one of the pillars of the knitting community and where I buy most of my non-independent yarn. Find them at www.Knitpicks.com, unless you're from Scotland, because they don't ship to Scotland.  Douglas Adams was a brilliant writer who left us too soon. Read about his amazing stories at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

Hey everyone, this is Marie. Starting next week Bryce and I are going to start posting bonus Patron-only episodes over at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast. This is our first one, and I'm putting it here on the main feed so you can get a taste of whatever is it we're about to start doing. We'll be talking about whatever Mormonese topic strikes our fancy, and we'll be a bit more... raw about it. While the regular show is typically rated G, or sometimes PG if adultery gets mentioned, today's is PG-13. Bryce drops one f-bomb, and we all know you can't talk about  family structure without talking about sexual orientation, gender, and heternormative culture. Hang onto your hats - the bonus episode is about to begin. Read along at: The Family: A Proclamation to the World The Naked I is a play by Tobias Davis. Check out his work at https://tobiaskdavis.com/plays/

Use the new search function when reading along with us at www.JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare! Is there an immortal beings club that meets every couple of hundred years? Joseph revelates himself into a feedback loop w/r/t the bishopric. Four of Joe's buddies get revelations, then Joe tells us all about how power structures work in the church. Are revelations personal, or are we mouthpieces of god if we feel good about it whatever we're saying? Marie and Bryce practice their "smooth" voices. The Simple Dog head tilt is a reference to the comic Hyperbole and a Half Wikipedia Links: Orson Hyde Luke S. Johnson Lyman E. Johnson William E. McLellin Lehi's family tree is delightfully non-specific. Check it out on the LDS main site. https://www.lds.org/new-era/2004/01/lehis-family-tree?lang=eng Opening Arguments is a highly entertaining and informative legal podcast that discusses (among many other things) immunity from prosecution. Give 'em a listen at http://openargs.com/. Drink Count - 3, so why even bother? Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: MarsGirl Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

In today's episode of victim-blaming, it's still always your fault. Ezra Booth's anti-Mormon writings have begun appearing in local newspapers! Trust in Joseph anyway, because REASONS. Marie asserts her complete lack of humility, Bryce experiences the spirit of god when listening to heavy metal. Read the LDS churches’ explanation about D&C revisions/adjustments at https://www.lds.org/scriptures/adjustments?lang=eng Foundation Beyond Belief https://foundationbeyondbelief.org/ Drink count - 6 (or barely one beer) Find everything you've ever wanted to know about the show over at www.mybookofmormonpodcast.com Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Todd and Madeline Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

We learn how to pray without learning many, if any, specifics of how to pray. William McLellin hands us a PRIME example to prove Joseph's prophetic powers by asking for answers to five questions without telling Joseph what those questions were. Joseph gives the most vague of vague answers, Williams tells everyone his questions were answered, and we *never find out what the questions were*. Listen to Bryce's trilogy on Mark Hofmann here. Foolish Virgins are explained here. For Thine Is The Kingdom is a hymn found in the Baptist Hymnal 1991 #659 Drink count - 10, or a little over one beer Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Bobby M. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Edward Partridge gets micromanaged, Isaac Morley is forgiven, Kirtland will be a thing for five more years (false!), Sidney Gilbert can keep his store, God hates Babylon, and Ezra Booth needs to STFU. Now get back to packing! Click here to read about Ezra Booth Click here to read about Isaac Morley Drink count - 20, or around three beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Craig P. Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Sex, Money, and Zombies, as told by Joseph Smith's Twitter Feed "Totes found #Zion! Come 2 Missouri ASAP. #KirtlandRevelation" "Everyone 2 #Zion! (not whoremongers, scorcerers, adulterers) #PromisedLand  monogamy4life " "Buy ur land in #Zion 2 b #blessed." "If ur wicked God will use unquenchable fire. SAD. #destroyed #smite" "Send ur money to #Zion if u want eternal salvation. #reward #afterlife" "1st Res. be a twinkle of an eye, live in ur prime! #notzombies" "#foolishvirgins JUST SAY NO" "S. Rigdon bad at plat of Zion, god wants do-over." "CONDEMN CONDEMN CONDEMN #apostate" Drink count - 22, or about 3 beers 99% Invisible is an amazing podcast that did an episode on why Salt Lake City's street grid is so delightfully unique. Give it a listen at http://99percentinvisible.org/episode/plat-of-zion/ Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Duke of Earl Grey Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Should we do a Mormon Awful Movies? Which host on NPR Politics Podcast is Mormon? I didn't have time to go back and find out. 62: Joseph phones it in with a quick revelation to some of his peeps who happened to walk by, because they get to keep doing what they're doing while his inner circle remains destined to travel upon cursed waters. 63: God is in a bad mood and will smack you down if you're bad. Also, you shouldn't need a sign/tangible proof to believe in god, because you'll only get a sign if you already believe.  Drink count - 12, or heading towards most of two beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Dean S (the Canadian) Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

In the most hydrating revelation yet, Joseph has a boating accident. Here's hoping you don't drown from imperfect faith! It's the episode where Bryce and Marie are unable to remember what verse they're on. Alan Watts - The Earth is "People-ing" The Pink Papaya Shop created a whole series of watercolors called "The Wives of Joseph Smith" Support HereticWoman's show, Beyond The Trailer Park, at https://www.patreon.com/BeyondtheTrailerPark Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: HereticWoman Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Poor Edward Partridge can't catch a break, what with all the micromanagement. Joseph, Oliver, and Sidney (Rigdon) are on their way to Cincinnati, while his other buddies are sent to St. Louis. They're all instructed to make haste while not speedily returning, and somehow God's jewels are involved. Drink count - 6, or a little less than a beer. Eth count - 4 The Pink Papaya Shop created a whole series of watercolors called The Wives of Joseph Smith Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Bevin F Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Jim teaches us the hierarchical structure of the church because Marie doesn't know what a General Authority is, and be advised that Duke of Earl Grey is now the show's General Authority (woo hoo!). Joseph Smith repeats a semblance of the 10 commandments, and really that's it. Turns out going to the Bishop to confess is a Thing that happens, and apparently we're supposed to be happy when we're fasting. It's bad to be wasteful and don't be a jerk, and be an environmentalist. Got questions? Scoot, god doesn't have time for them. Job is a man/chapter in the Bible.  I swear I learned a song in Sunday School that used the verse "love the lord thy god with all they heart", but I couldn't find one with a familiar tune, so really all I did was royally mess up my YouTube video recommendations. I recommend listening to anything from Chvrches, they're pretty cool, and you can say "I'm listening to Chvrch music!" Drink count - 10, or a bit over one beer Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/ Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Anna F Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Ask not what the church can do for you, but what you can do for your church. If you need a revelation from god to tell you what to do, woe betide you, for you are slothful. For shame! Cross your fingers that all new revelations supersede previous ones, so we all hope that this one no longer matters because Joseph Smith is hypocritical all over the place. Drink count - 13, plus one extra drink for tomfoolery in revelatory contradictions, and one extra drink for "and bring to pass" Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com Podcastriarchal blessing: Nathaniel B Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length  

Patriarchal blessings - how do they work? Punctuation and verse allocation - why don't they work? Heaven - HOW DOES THAT WORK? Joseph tells the believers to throw a party with the rich and educated on the VIP list, because who needs consistency with the Book of Mormon when Zion has been found? Edward Partridge is treated like a toddler for (apparently) making bad decisions, but that's okay, he's still the Bishop in charge of the Bishop's Storehouse. Drink Count - 12, or a bit over one beer. Sidney Rigdon – The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc Zion Temple Lot, conveniently temple free! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Lot Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Support show by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing – Lucy the Valiant Lucy (the Valiant) Pevensie is the youngest of the Pevensie siblings in C.S. Lewis' series The Chronicles of Narnia. Got a comment/question/concern? You know you do. Email me at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

First - don't do drugs unless you're in a religious business meeting. Second, new writer or Oliver Cowdry? You decide. Much parentheses, very comma, so administration, wow. Who cares, now we know where Zion is! It's on the other side of the courthouse in the vacant lot, btw. Praise Heavenly Father. Drink count - 6, or about 1 beer Go here to check out episode 135 https://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/2016/11/19/135/ Read all of these on your work computer to make your next performance review REALLY interesting! http://www.mormonthink.com/files/restoration-sacred-mushroom.pdf https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2529415/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datura http://www.maripoisoncenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/CTR-Datura-Plant-Poisoning.pdf Sidney Rigdon - The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc Wollmeise is a kind of high quality yarn, the kind that would make you do dishes when it wasn't your turn if you knew your partner would buy you some in exchange for dish duty. Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Support show by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast Got a comment/question/concern? You know you do. Email me at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

If you leave the church you can get back all the money you donated to it. Caveat, this only works if your name is Ezra Thayre. Poor-shaming! Drink count - 11, or about one beer Follow the hyperlinks below to learn more about what we're referencing! John Oliver transforms our lives with Multi-Level Marketing  Good Mythical Morning is a daily comedy show on YouTube  Creflo Dollar is an extremely wealthy televangelist   Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Become a Patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing: George G  

In the aftermath of the LDS Church's first major business meeting Joseph Smith continues to solve short-term problems by sending everyone to Missouri. We spend the first half of the episode talking about why the entire country was moving to Missouri because of the absolutely horrid Indian Removal Act just put into place by President Jackson. The Mormons didn't do anything to influence or support this act! They sure do benefit from it though (in the short-term, at least). Read about the Indian Removal Act and Andrew Jackson's positive spin: https://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/ourdocs/Indian.html Andrew Jackson, America's 7th President: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Jackson Presidential is a brilliant podcast by Lillian Cunningham at the Washington Post, so wander on over and listen all about Andrew Jackson: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/business/presidential-podcast/ Drink count - 10, or about a beer and a half, but really, just drink 10 beers! Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare Become a Patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing: Jonathan U.

The first ever Big Important Business Meeting of the newly formed church has concluded. Joseph revelates 33 of his VIPs right out into the wilderness (Missouri), and lets us know that another Big Important Business Meeting will happen out there, eventually, when they get around to it. Rejoice, they're about to take the land of their inheritence from the people who have lived on the promised land for that last millenia! Wait, perhaps rejoicing in the future takeover of Native American lands shouldn't be rejoiced about? Oh man, American history is ugly AF. Drink count - 11 (or about a beer and half) Edson Fuller and his religiously enthusiastic buddies are described in detail at https://history.lds.org/article/doctrine-and-covenants-religious-enthusiasm?lang=eng Curious about any of the men listed in this chapter? Head over to these two websites and enter in their name: lds.org josephsmithpapers.org Symonds Ryder's gravestone is found at http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=10388814 Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Show dedication and podcastiarchal blessing - John P Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit

David Michael returns! We learn that if you're supposed to give everything to the church, and if you're bad then you lose access to all the stuff you gave away. So... be good? Drink count - 2 (which is good, because we were very hungover) Andrew Torrez is a wonderfully good sport and can be heard on Opening Arguments Podcast at openargs.com Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare  

We address the controversy we accidentally started in episode 130, D&C section 46 (oops!). So, should we start a Comments Section discussion at the start of each episode? Email me, let me know at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com. Section 50: Joseph lets us all know that everyone needs to calm down with the revelations and spiritual phenomena. False spirits aren't good, y'all, you need to stick with the true spirits that come from God, and Joseph is here to tell us how. Drink count - 14, or about two beers Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Marie and Bryce dish about Marie's Ft Collins trip and Bryce's recent run-in with Mormon missionaries, then get their act together to read Chapter 49. Did you know that the current chapter order is completely different than the chapter order in the original version? Neither did Marie! Chapter 49 - Joseph Smith reveals how wrong, wrong, wrong the Shakers are and affirms that marriage is between one man and one woman, vegetarianism is bad, god is not a woman, and baptism must be done. Married Drink count - 9, or about one beer Unmarried Drink count - 9 + bonus beer, or about two beers Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Local (to me) listener Jim Van Heel joins me in Studio MK (Marie's Kitchen) to read two administrative chapters. Woo hoo! But first, Jim tells us about leaving the church, the difficulties of bringing up the hard topics, and beer. Drink Count - 2 Read along with us at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast   Podcastriarchal blessing - Tyler S. Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast Intro music by Maps & Transit, Our Happy Life. It was shortened by six seconds to fit the introduction.

I saw the (spiritual) signs, I opened up the D&C, I saw the (spiritual) signs. #danceparty   Drink count - 5   Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Episode 129: D&C 30 - Section 45 Part 2 Jesus reasserts that he is lord, then there's talk about the end of days (Michael Bay, please direct the movie of this), and it wraps up with Zion will be The Best Place Ever. None of this has anything to do with the false reports and foolish stories that caused this revelation to be brought forth, so mostly I'm confused. Drink count - 10 Read along with us as joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Help support the show at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

On September 10, 2016 I visited the Ft Collins Temple with my friend Chad. This is our audio diary. Official Ft Collins Temple photographs are here - https://www.lds.org/church/news/see-inside-new-fort-collins-colorado-temple-opening-for-tours-august-19?lang=eng To read more about the process used to build a Mormon temple, read this article - http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormon-temple-building-process The George W. Bush presidential library is in Dallas, TX. Much like touring a Mormon temple, pre-game before you enter. https://www.georgewbushlibrary.smu.edu/ Napoleon's Sarcophagus is at Les Invalides in Paris. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Invalides New Belgium Brewing are the makers of Fat Tire Beer. http://www.newbelgium.com/Brewery Casa Bonita is a Mexican restaurant in Denver. www.CasaBonitaDenver.com Become a patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

Mormons who make the news tend to be the worst examples of Mormonism. The only thing we learn in this section is that headers can be super awkward when they're full of ellipses. 9 drinks, or about a beer and a half. Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Joseph lets us know that God will be with the believers at a meeting that will occur in June. Marie and Bryce accidentally discuss the Pony Express, then discuss our interactions with and views of modern day Mormonism. 4 drinks, so you'd be better off doing shots rather than waste half a beer. Sound of Cylons https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUezhpuEoE Marie's interview with Cass and Bob will be up on http://www.everyonesagnostic.com/ in mid-September 2016. Marie's friend Marie has a swear-filled podcasted called Fresh Out. Hear her stories of leaving behind unreal expectations imposed on us by others, by religion, by culture, or by ourselves. http://freshouttruestory.podbean.com/ Foster Kittens on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/foster_kittens/?hl=en Intro Music by Andy G. Cohen. "Scramby Eggs" from the album Layers (EP). http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Andy_G_Cohen/Layers_1240/ Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Revelators gonna revelate, so listen only to Joseph the Revelator. Marie and Bryce do their best God Voices, and Mean Jesus doesn't want you to have a good time. 13 drinks, or about two beers. Read along with us at www.joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Read the LDS churches' explanation about D&C revisions/adjustments at https://www.lds.org/scriptures/adjustments?lang=eng

Women are part of this section!!!! Don't worry, it's all negative. Peer pressure is a thing, much in the way that logical narrative flow isn't. 5 drinks, or one beer if you take big swigs (recommended). Read along with us at www.joelakuhn/dc-compare

In today's episode of victim-blaming, it's all your fault because you don't have enough faith. If you're in 1831 you learn about allocating space for newcomers, if you're in 2013 or later you learn that you get one free pass, then you have to stop your adulterous ways. I wish I was kidding. 13 drinks, or about 2 beers. Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Ownership, 1831 Edition: All ur stuff are belong to the bishop. Ownership, 2013 Edition: All ur excess stuff are belong to the church for the benefit of the poor, occasionally, if it works out that way. 10 drinks, or approximately 2 beers (feel free to round up). Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare Check out authorship attribution on slide 185 at http://mormonleaks.com/library/episode-06/#

God's strength is affirmed when he assures James Covel that moving to Ohio will be a 100% success, then Satan swoops in and tempts Covel right outta there. Joseph and Sidney get revelated into nicer houses. It's good to be in charge! 19 drinks, or about three beers. Read long with me at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

God commands Joseph to bring his people from Fayette, NY to Ohio, despite it being around 20F/-6C and windy outside. Marie and Bryce have an attack of empathy after Joseph’s followers are commanded to leave all their worldly possessions behind so they can live as sharecroppers on a rich guys’ land. God decides to withhold anything good from his followers just in case they might one day become prideful and need to be exterminated. 14 drinks, or about 2 beers, which frankly, isn’t nearly enough for this sobfest. Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Episode 118: D&C 36-37 Two quickie revelations ensure that a local rich dude feels extra special, and that a Bible translation is paused due to impending church migration from NY to OH. Marie and Bryce rejoice in finishing these revelations so quickly, then take a turn for the dark when Marie rants about how the primary spiritual gift for women sometimes kills them. Four drinks, or less than one beer, but I think you should just take big swigs. To read along with us, go here: http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Marie and Bryce learn that rampant pronoun use is incredibly confusing and eventually suss out that Sydney Rigdon will replace Oliver Cowdery as Joseph Smith’s scribe, but first Marie can’t resist geeking out about Lu La Roe clothing. The terrible line spacing and punctuation differences between the original and current versions of chapter/section 35 lower the readability and increase the fun! Seven drinks, or approximately one beer.

BREAKING NEWS, yet another guy is sent forth into the wilderness to preach the gospel. We also have a brief discussion of blood moons and Stargate SG-1, because astronomy is cool. A measly seven drinks, or approximately one beer.

This is an odd set of revelations. The first one is addressed to Parley P. Pratt and Ziba Peterson, telling them to go preach to the Natives on the border with the Lamanites in Missouri. The second one is addressed to Northrop Sweet and Ezra Thayre, telling them to go preach to the Natives on the border with the Lamanites in Missouri; but, the second one is WAAAAAY BETTER!!! The first section is 5 verses long and ends with a pathetic 1 “Drink!” while the second section talks about thrusting sickles, filling open mouths, and referencing the Book of Mormon, all while nearly murdering our livers with 20 “Drinks!” Why would these two revelations be telling different people to do the same thing, yet sound so different in doing so?   “Drink!” count – 21 Over 3 beers!

To get us started, a bunch of different revelations to the Whitmer brothers are combined into one. David is told to stick around, while the others are told to go out on a mission. After that, Thomas Marsh is called to be a physician to the church, AND ONLY THE CHURCH, even if that means ignoring the wishes of his family. “Drink!” Count –12 About 2 beers

The show has found a new host, and I couldn't be happier! I love you already Marie, and can't wait for you and Bryce to start the next chapter of the show. As a Mymo, I love the wild and crazy journey that we've already been through and can't wait to find out what happens next. Thank you Marie and Bryce for making sure that journey didn't end. I can guarantee I'll never miss an episode. All the best. Signed, David Michael, Former Host of the My Book of Mormon Podcast

The time has come for David Michael to say goodbye. Hopefully the show will live on, but sadly, it will have to continue without the original host. I can't thank all the Mymos enough for everything you've done to make the show what it has become.  You will always hold a special place in my heart. Have a beer on me

In this one we learn all about the many resurrection events in our very near future (literally, any hour!). And then we find out that Jesus only has so many passes into heaven he can give away, so you'd better stay on his good side! “Drink!” Count –29 About 5 beers

We first learn that Jesus doesn't really care what you eat or drink during sacrament, as long as you're really serious about it. Then we learn all about some evil devil stones that are giving off evil revelations! Finally, we are introduced to our first bonafide mormon missionaries! “Drink!” Count – 14 Around 3 beers

Right out of the gate, god confirms that Joe did indeed write the Book of Mormon himself (turns out it wasn't Mormon writing it after all!). But then things start looking up for Joe when he is told by the big man upstairs that he doesn't actually have to work anymore. Then we get our first revelation given directly to a woman, and it's pretty much as misogynistic as you'd expect.  “Drink!” Count – 15 Around 3 beers

Ever wondered what a cult looks like when it's first born? Well you're in luck because we get to watch a real life cult birth (and it ain't pretty)! “Drink!” Count – 22 Around 4 beers

First of all, sorry that this one came out a week late, I promise to catch up next week. Anyway, here we get to the long awaited Section 20! Ever wanted to know that exact words to say during a baptism that can never ever be altered? (Spoiler alert, they're already altered) Or hear David stumble his way through a sacrament blessing? Well then you're in for a good one. Oh yeah, and this is the longest episode this show has ever released (oops). "Drink!" Count - Basically none

This one starts out a bit confusing as even the D&C itself can't figure out when Section 19 was actually written (or should I say, "Revelated"). Then Christ goes into a full on rap battle, with himself. And of course, we learn how much god is ready to exquisitely punish Martin Harris if he doesn't give Joe all his earthly possessions. "Drink!" Count - 17 Around 3 beers And thank you to everyone that voted for the show in the 2015 Brodie Awards! The show took the Brodie for "Best Scripture Study Blog/Site/Channel/Podcast" (two years in a row!)

God (or Jesus, still not sure which is which) gives some revelating to Joe, David, and Ollie, and basically tells them a bunch of stuff they should already know. Then they get some homework as they have to find 12 superheroes that are going to save all the souls of the earth. And as a final footnote, we find out that women will be allowed in heaven.  Who knew? “Drink!” Count – 14 About 2 and a half beers And don't forget to vote for the show for the 2015 Brodie Awards! My Book of Mormon Podcast has been nominated for two categories: Best Scripture Study Blog/Site/Channel/Podcast & Best Scripture-Study Piece.  Voting ends on February 5, 2016, so don't delay! Vote here, and thanks in advance! 2015 Brodie Awards

This is just a fun conversation with David and Bryce, with a tiny bit of D&C reading in between. “Drink!” Count – 7 Just a little over 1 beer

In this one, Joe starts getting the hang of 'revelating', and he starts handing out revelations to everyone like candy. The only problem is, he's giving them all the same revelation (womp, womp).  Then we get another mysterious chapter that magically appeared sometime after the original Book of Commandments was published. Let's see if we can find out how or why it's there! “Drink!” Count – 41 About 7 beers

For the first time ever, David and Bryce record live and in person! It's so moving that even god cries! And, since it's been a long time since you've gotten a "druken episode", it felt like time to play along to the drinking game (WARNING: Probably unsafe to play along at home).First, God takes out an insurance policy to proactively damn anyone that messes with those pesky 116 pages. Then, Jesus steps in and goes on and on with his heavenly caller ID until he messes up and makes a statement that proves beyond a doubt that everything we're reading isn't true! "Drink!" Count - 51 Eight and a half beers! And thanks to all the Mymos that contributed to the 24 Hour Broadcastaton for the Secular Student Alliance! My thanks to Dogma Debate for hosting such a great event every year. I'm honored to have been a part of it.If you'd like to watch the video of the "Ex-Mormon Hour", click the link below and skip to the 2-hour mark. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Mg5u8-D9xY  

Poor ol' Oliver. God gives him a gift, then snatches it away. I'm still not sure if he knows what he's supposed to do. Also, we have some confusion about what the gift was in the first place. It was either some sort of rod, or a male human. See if you can figure it out! “Drink” Count – 21 3 and a half beers

Episode 100: D&C 5 – Section 6 For the 100th episode, we are joined by Chuck and Matt from the 'Irreligiosophy' Podcast. Since they were kind enough to have me on as a guest when the show was just starting out, it was overdue to have them on. In this 'revelation' we learn that Oliver is quite gifted, and that's about it. But there's plenty of history packed into this one, along with plenty of drinking! “Drink” Count – 32 About 5 and a half beers

This one is almost 2 hours long (hopefully that's a blessing and not a curse). It's like 2 episodes in 1! Anyway, we start out with a message to Ol' Joe's dad, and then Martin Harris orders his own revelation from on-demand. And then we find out that the LDS church didn't really like everything god originally told Joe and had to make some "updates". “Drink” Count – 22 Let's call it 4 beers

Breaking news! We have no officially added 'Behold' to the drinking game, which is just in time because without it there would have been no drinks in this whole episode! Section 2 comes and goes in a blink of an eye, and not much is said. Then we get Section 3 which is basically god scolding ol Joe for being stupid enough to lose 114 pages of his 'sacred work'. Oh, and we also find out which auto insurance company god works for. “Drink” Count – 5 (Almost one beer)

So, God is super pissed off at the humans in this one, but we never really figure out why. And we're told to obey commandments, but sadly we're given nothing about what those commandments are. “Drink” Count – 11 2 Beers

I'm back!! Sorry to all the Mymos for the long wait. But good news, I'm pleased to introduce the show's new co-host: Bryce Blankenagel from the Naked Mormonism Podcast! I'm so happy to have him on-board! In this episode Bryce and I unintentionally stumble across some major discrepancies between the original publication of the D&C and the most recent version. Then after a rather comical introduction, we follow Jesus on his tour of the US Northeast and then the Midwest, with some rather odd stops along the way (at one point Jesus is in prison?!?).  

By popular demand, Roman is back! This time we tackle Lehi's wild dreams, Nephi's awesome ship building, and Roman even does a live test of the Liahona to see how well it works in real life!  

THE FINAL EPISODE OF THE PRICEY PEARL! WOOT!! Basically what happens is that we learn about the checklist of insanity that every Mormon has to swear that they believe. I think there's only one "article of faith" that I agreed with; the rest are either weird, inexplicable, confusing, or just plain hilarious.   “Drink” Count – BYOB (technically, no drinks)  

David's son Roman tackles the children's version of The Book of Mormon, and he comes to some unique conclusions to describe what in the world is going on. By popular request, this has been made into a standalone episode. Please leave your comments if you'd like to hear more episodes like this.  Enjoy! WARNING: If you've already listened to Episodes 90 & 91, then you won't find any new content here, this is just Part 1 and 2 compiled together as a standalone episode.

This starts off with a big copy/paste from Episode 1, but once we get through that the fun starts. God, the Holy Ghost, and John the Baptist all show up and start handing out priesthoods like candy. Then we get to meet some new characters like Martin, Oliver, the Professor, and Mary Ann (ok fine, not Mary Ann), and they've got some tales to tell too. “Drink” Count – BYOB (technically, no drinks)  

What could be more fun than listening to the young Joseph Smith whining about how much people picked on him for babbling on about visions? Well, maybe another clip of the very popular Roman taking a crack at the Book of Mormon Stories! “Drink” Count – 1 This one isn't exactly a "drinking episode"  

This one starts out with Ol' Joe's re-translation of a chapter of Matthew from the Bible. It's pretty pointless, but we make it through. Then, we're joined by a very special guest who makes everything so much more entertaining! “Drink” Count – 3 Not even half a beer.  Better make em shots!  

Yet another telling of the Genesis creation story, but this time with even more gods! Then thankfully we're joined by Prophets Fat Joe and Lil Wayne to help finish up The Book of Abraham. “Drink” Count – 12 2 lovely beers  

I don't know what else to say. Kolob is a real thing. I'm still in shock. You've just got to hear this one to believe it. “Drink” Count – 4 Not even an entire beer (but plenty of insanity)  

We finish up The Book of Moses and then jump right into The Book of Abraham. Oh, and there's an Egyptian third grader's art class homework in between. And sadly, the racism and misogyny just keeps getting layered on more and more. “Drink” Count – 9 Just a beer and a half   And don't forget to check out my interview with John Dehlin from the Mormon Stories podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngomGsqa4l0

Enoch gets whisked away to heaven and to watch the trailer for all of human existence, and it get's really weird really fast. We get islands emerging from the sea, cities being lifted up to the heavens, mountains running away, rivers changing course, fires, floods and (and I swear I'm not making this up) giants! But then it takes mormon racism to a whole new level. So be prepared for some pretty hateful text, this chapter isn't pretty.  “Drink” Count – 19 A litter over 3 beers  

So, we get to meet this slow talking seer guy named Enoch, who, it turns out, everybody hates. But Enoch doesn't seem to care that much since his boyfriend is god (yeah, that's kinda what it sounded like!). God decides to teach all those haters a lesson so he creates the one and only hell as a place to send them (that'll teach em!). Then we jump back in time and some god spirit baptizes Adam and then tells him about how cool that Jesus dude is. “Drink” Count – 6 Another single measley beer I’ll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!

First we learn that Satan had a waaaaay better plan for the Earth than Jesus ever did. Next, Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, but upon reflection, did they really have a choice? Then Cain kills Abel, but again, can you blame him? Then all of humanity turns against God, what a shocker. “Drink” Count – 6 1 measley beer I’ll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!

We finally start The Pearl of Great Price, or as we now call it, The Pricey Pearl. So far, it's pretty much just a long conversation that God has with Moses trying to convince him how awesome he is. And we get the creation story of Genesis told in painstaking detail.  Oh, and Satan pops in to say hello.  “Drink” Count – 15 2 and a half beers       I'll see everyone in Salt Lake City on June 25!  

The long awaited "final thoughts" of the Book of Mormon is here.  I do my best attempt to abridge this abridged book, and then share my thoughts about the whole thing. Hopefully I made some sense along the way. “Drink” Count – This one's a BYOB  

Well, this is it, we finally close the book on the Book of Mormon. But before we do, Moroni makes a bunch of questionable claims, and even gives us the famous "Moroni Promise". We also learn about a little trick for how to render god completely powerless, and you'll never guess how simple it is. Then it's all done, and I decide to pray. Yes, that's right, I pray... But before all that John Dehlin joins me to talk about the new partnership for the Taylor Scholarship with the Open Stories Foundation. And you'll also hear about my upcoming trip to Salt Lake City, Utah! “Drink” Count – 4 (6 if you include the Dehlin drinks) Just the one beer (or is it champagne?)  If you'd like to directly donate to the "new and improved" Taylor Scholarship, you can do so by clicking here

Almost done the book, but not quite yet. In this episode we learn about the gravest of all sins, baptising little children! Just thinking about it can send you straight to hell, so watch out. Then we hear about the pleasant living conditions in the Lamanite and Nephite prisoner of war camps. I'll just put it this way, you'd be much better off to die in battle. Not a ton of drinks in this one, but we do get a bonus shot! “Drink” Count – 3, plus one shot So, a shot and half a beer  

This one starts out like a machine gun as we burst through the early chapters, which are basically Moroni's short "self-help" videos for how to do a bunch of Mormon stuff. Then Mormon takes the stage (yeah, he's back somehow) and it just gets weird from there. Oh, and I worry a lot that this might be the last episode... Thankfully, it's not. “Drink” Count – 7 Barely a little more than one measly beer :-(  

We finish up The Book of Ether in this one, but it goes out with a bang! We also learn that Ether is nothing more than a cave dwelling babbling lunatic, that god likes practical jokes, and the those Jaradites just can't turn down the opportunity for a good fight. Seriously, even the Jaradite babies get into the sword swinging action! “Drink” Count – 50 Almost 8 and a half beers  

I think we finally come to the end of the pointless family drama, and none of it seemed to have a point. But then we get a real treat when Moroni apologizes to god for writing such a terrible book! But don't worry, god tells him that anyone that mocks it is a fool (which I guess makes Moroni a fool tool since he was the first to admit how bad it was). “Drink” Count – 25 A little over 4 beers  

This one is full of good life lessons. First, a father pimps out his daughter (don't worry, she actually asks him to). Then we learn to never, under any circumstances, belong to an organzation that has any secrets (God HATES that). Next we get more great parenting advice, namely how to starve a troublesome child to death. And we wrap it up by hearing all about the most violent family in history. “Drink” Count – 58 Almost ten beers!  

This one starts out with a bunch of Moroni preaching, but we soon get back to the action. First, we have the precarious (and likely pretty disgusting) ocean submarine voyage. Next we get some new family drama! Brother against brother, father against son, cousins killing each other, what else could you ask for? “Drink” Count – 34 Close to six beers   And don't forget to send some support to our friend Shaun at gofundme.com/r4t8g64

The long awaited "Book of Ether" is finally here! Frankly, it starts out a little slow, although some of the names are a bit funny. But then all the sudden it just happens... prehistoric people start building submarines! Its just amazing! I have to be honest, I'm starting to like this Book of Ether. “Drink” Count – 22 Close to four beers  

In this one, Moroni does his very best to try and convert me. And it's a pretty impressive attempt, especially since he's doing it from beyond the grave. Will he succeed? Will I finally stop dwindling in unbelief? You'll have to listen to find out! “Drink” Count – 7 Just a tad more than one beer (weak, I know...)  

Well, it finally happened. The Nephites are all dead. Total genocide. I'm not sure who to blame either, it seemed to me like the Lamanites slaughtered them all, but Mormon is convinced that it was God that did the killing. Then good ol' Moroni comes back, but he's not nearly as fun as we remember him from Episode 1. Actually, he's pretty racist, and quite a bit judgy.    “Drink” Count – 35 Almost 6 beers  

This is the "back and forth" episode. Everyone is good, then everyone gets evil. God likes the Nephites, then God hates the Nephites. The Nephites are winning the war, the Lamanites are winning the war, then the Nephites get the upper hand, then the Lamanites... “Drink” Count – 49 A little over 8 beers  

If you’ve given up on Jesus because he was just too boring or confusing, then you’ve gotta listen to this one! No joke, he takes these three random dudes and turns them into pure awesomeness! Seriously, it’s hard to describe just how awesome these dudes are. You just have to listen for yourself. “Drink” Count – 41 Almost 7 beers  

Jesus keeps talking, and talking, and talking. It's unclear whether or not he even understands what he's talking about, but that doesn't stop him for babbling on about it. Also, we learn that Jesus and the angel Moroni must hang out a lot because they both have the same habit of jumping back and forth between heaven and earth without any warning or explanation. “Drink” Count – 34 (this includes the freebie after chapter 22) Almost 6 beers  

Scott and David rack their brains for an hour trying to figure out what in the world Jesus is talking about. Sadly, I'm not sure if we even get close. Seriously though, has anyone been able to make sense of all this babbling? I don't know how much longer Jesus is going to stick around, but it kinda feels like he's outstayed his welcome. “Drink” Count – 25 (this includes the 12 Verily’s) A little over 4 beers  

So, Jesus says a bunch of random stuff about Jews and Gentiles, then he heals a bunch of people (isn't that nice of him?), and then he pulls a magic trick and poofs back to heaven. But just when you thought we'd have to miss him forever, Jesus pops back in the next day. Who knows how long he's going to stay this time?  “Drink” Count – 46 (this includes the 13 Verily’s) Almost 8 beers (finally a good drinking episode!)  

If you've read the New Testament of the Bible, then I'm afraid there isn't very much in this one in the way of new material. However, with his second stop on his world tour, Jesus does make a few tweaks to his act so you'd better be paying attention! And then Jesus teaches us that we should never ask god for anything (especially not food, water, or clothes), and then later he tells us that all we need to do is ask god and we will receive... So yeah, who knows? “Drink” Count – 14 (this includes the 9 Verily’s) Just a little over 2 beers (weak!) And don’t forget to vote for the show for The 2014 Brodie Awards! As a reminder, the show has been nominated in two categories: “Best LDS-Interest Audio/Video Channel” and, "Best Scripture Study Blog/Podcast" And huge thanks in advance!!!  

Back by very popular demand, Scott from My Biased Opinion joins us again to try and make sense of Jesus' ramblings. We are then given a surprise visit by none other than the great Adam Reakes from The Herd Mentality Podcast, where we get a sneak peek at his latest audio masterpiece. Which is good, because we need something to entertain us while Jesus goes on and on trying to finish his second performance of the sermon on the mount.   “Drink” Count – 19 (this includes the 14 Verily's)  Just a little over 3 beers   And don’t forget to nominate the show for The Annual Podcast Awards! As a reminder, the show is competing for “Peoples Choice” as well as the “Religion Inspiration” category.  Just copy and paste: Podcast Name: My Book of Mormon Podcast URL: http://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/ And huge thanks in advance!!!  

This one starts off with mormon god bragging about all the people he just burned, drowned, buried alive, etc. I get a little pissed (well, maybe a little more than a little) and I let god know how I feel about him and his murderous rampage.  But things take a turn for the better because our boy Jesus shows up! But I hope you didn't have very high expectations, because there seems to be something wrong with his head. “Drink” Count – 25 Just a little over 4 beers   And don't forget to vote for the show at The Annual Podcast Awards! As a reminder, the show is competing for "Peoples Choice" as well as the "Religion Inspiration" category.  Just copy and paste: Podcast Name: My Book of Mormon Podcast URL: http://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/ And huge thanks in advance!!! And if you happen to live in Australia, check out the Unholy Trinity Down Under Tour

Things start out a little boring as everyone is finally living in peace. But we don't have to wait long before Satan comes in and starts messing with everyone and turning them back to the dark side. And just when you think things can't get any worse, Jesus goes and gets himself killed on the other side of the planet which (for some reason) causes the most horrific natural disasters you could imagine to afflict the Americas. I'm actually not really sure if anyone actually survived. “Drink” Count – 28 Almost 5 beers  

In this episode we're joined by Scott from the My Biased Opinion blog. And together we read about all the robbers getting senselessly slaughtered, but good news, anyone that survived the carnage is now good and righteous! Then this mysterious figure named Mormon shows up and starts claiming that he's been writing this book the whole time. How is that even possible?   “Drink” Count – 23 Almost 4 beers And don't forget to check out Scott's awesome blog My Biased Opinion

We start out with the "bright as noon day" night to tell us that the big man Jesus himself was finally born, yet somehow a bunch of those Nephites and Lamanites remain as stiffnecked as ever. Then those Gadianton robbers offer a truce, but the Lord's people choose to fight rather than surrender! The stage is set for an epic battle! “Drink” Count – 38 A little over 6 beers   And here's the "Thank You" that all the Mymo's received from Dale McGowan, Ph.D., Exec. Director of Foundation Beyond Belief   

For our 60th episode, we are joined by Philip Wells from SAB Books who is in the process of writing The Skeptic's Annotated Book of Mormon.  And then we get back into Helaman where we learn about some incredible astronomical and meteorological phenomenon that supposedly occurred in the America's during the birth and death of Jesus. Oh, and then zombies get referenced again, but once again we don't really get any good zombie details. “Drink” Count – 28 Almost 5 beers   Check out The Skeptic's Annotated Book of Mormon And also check out Philips blog at Dwindling in Unbelief  

God gives Nephi a ton of superhero powers, and Nephi decides to use them to starve thousands of people to death. What a great guy! And then we learn how much god thinks we're all pretty much usless. I'm not gonna lie, this one is a bit depressing. “Drink” Count – 83 Almost 14 beers!!  

Happy New Year's Mymos! In this one Nephi v2.0 gets on his prayer tower, which sounds an awful lot like one of those evil Nehor towers, or maybe he's a Muslim, who knows. He then lives up to his namesake by telling everyone how evil they are and then prophecies about the new Chief Judge getting murdered, or did he plot the murder himself? What a conspiracy! “Drink” Count – 51 8 and a half beers!  

This one starts out a little preachy, but it doesn't take long before the action starts. We've got people bursting into flames, god whispers from the sky, earthquakes, dark clouds covering the earth, and a whole lot more! And the surprises continue as the Nephites and Lamanites decide to switch sides in the whole "good guy/bad guy" thing.  Oh yeah, and then the evil capitalists finally defeat those godly socialists.    “Drink” Count – 61 A little over 10 beers!  

We start out with lots of family drama since our good friend Pahoran went off and died. After a lot of killing, the Lamanites sneak in again and take the Zarahemla with barely a fight. The struggle for land possessions goes back and forth as both sides try to out "stiffneck" each other.  “Drink” Count – 65 Almost 11 beers!  

More battles! And this one even has a little civil war thrown in too! But then we say goodbye to all our friends like Moroni, Helaman, Teancum, Ammoran, and Shiblon. While that might seem sad, we also get to meet a new Goddess! “Drink” Count – 53 Almost 9 beers!   And don’t forget to check out David Michael's interview on Mormon Stories Podcast!  

The Nephites lose another city and Moroni decides that it's all the government's fault. Then he goes into conspiracy theory mode and threatens a military coup if the government doesn't give in to his demands. The stage is set for more excitement as the never ending book of Alma isn't done yet! “Drink” Count – 69 11 and a half beers!! And a huge thank you to the Mymo Family for their support of the Dogma Debate 24 Hour Broadcastathon for Foundation Beyond Belief (Press Release)

We finally have another guest! This time Bryce Blankenagel from Naked Mormonism Podcast joins us to talk about his show and to enjoy some good old Alma action. Those amazing 2000 boys are at it again laying waste to everything in their path. They are truly unstoppable! “Drink” Count – 26 Almost 4 and a half beers  

If you thought the 300 Spartans were awesome soldiers, just wait until you hear about the 2,000 Ammonite boys! They know how to take care of business. “Drink” Count – 70 Almost 12 beers!! Don’t forget to check out Unbuckling the Bible Belt Podcast

Moroni is so busy repressing his own people, and even decides to execute thousands of them for being political dissenters, that the Lamanites just walk right in the back door and take a whole bunch of cities. But not to worry, Teancum is sent to find a way to trick those Lamanites out of their defensive positions. Will his plan work? “Drink” Count – 46 Almost 8 beers Check out this week’s recommendation from Prophet Jaaromy: Feminist Mormon Housewives Podcast

In this one the Lamanite army comes charging into Nephite territory, and then suddenly forgets what armies are supposed to do when they are attacking a neighboring land. Then we hear all about how awesome it is to be a Nephite. And finally the battles resume as two Nephite cities decide to have a good ol fashioned border war! “Drink” Count – 44 A little over 7 beers And don’t forget to check out “Naked Mormonism” podcast: http://nakedmormonismpodcast.com/

So Amalickiah comes up with one of the craziest plans ever to try and take down the king of the Lamanites. Will he succeed, or will they see through his evil cunning ways? After that, we get a whole chapter trying to convince us that Moroni and the Nephites are the good guys. And yes, by popular request, I played along again with the drinking game! “Drink” Count – 54 Exactly 9 Beers!  

We finally get our bloody end to the battle from the last episode (you’ll never guess who wins). Next, Alma kinda dies or something. Then Helaman does a lousy job appointing new priests and they all decide to team up and take him him out. Will the covenant of peace prevail, or will we have yet another awesome war? “Drink” Count – 65 Almost 11 Beers!!  

This one starts out a little slow with Alma tying, quite poorly, to explain god’s plan. But it is pretty entertaining hearing him try. Then, we finally get our battle that we were promised several episodes ago! And, as we hoped, it gets nice and bloody real fast! “Drink” Count – 37 A little over 6 beers  

In this one we learn that Corianton chased the skirt a little too much and ol Daddy Alma is not very pleased. But, as usual, Alma gets a little drunk in the middle of all his blabbering and starts going on and on about zombies. Seriously, I think Alma might need professional help. “Drink” Count – 16 Not even 3 beers?? Weak!  

Oh Alma, you are torturing us! We finally get evidence that Alma must be drinking during his long speeches, because he just gets weirder and weirder the longer he talks. And we get all the buildup for an epic battle, but it looks like we’ll have to wait until later before we find out what happens. “Drink” Count – 67 A little over 11 Beers!!  

Feeling cocky after their success among the Lamanites, Alma and the gang head off to try and convert all the Zoramites. And if you thought that Alma was a bad public speaker before, you just wait! “Drink” Count – 40 Almost 7 Beers!!  

KORIHOR!!!  Need I say more? “Drink” Count – 30 5 Beers  

In this one we get a tremendous battle, the likes of which has never been seen, but sadly it ends up being quite anti-climactic. Also, the newly converted Lamanites go to live with their Nephite brothers, but the Nephites decide to play mafia boss with them instead. And of course, those evil Amalekites just keep getting more and more evil! “Drink” Count – 70 Almost 12 Beers! (seriously, I highly recommend against playing along this time!)  

Yup, I’m bowing out from the drinking game for now. Don’t worry, I’ll still be calling out the drinks! Anyway, in this episode Ammon and his bros turn into the world’s greatest missionaries, and then things go a little sideways when they all decide to stop fighting and just let themselves be slaughtered instead. Warning: This one is a bit bloody, but not nearly as bad as we’ve seen thus far. “Drink” Count – 24 Exactly 4 Beers  

Well, everyone said that they like David even more when he’s drunk, so he played the drinking game again! Anyway, in this episode Ammon’s brothers try to duplicate his missionary success. What a bunch of copycats.  Oh, and we get confirmation that Ammon and Lamoni are definitely a couple. “Drink” Count – 27 4 and a Half Beers Check David out in “Freethought Today” (page 21) or better yet, join Freedom From Religion Foundation yourself! Check out this week’s recommendation from Prophet Jaaromy: You Are Not So Smart Podcast

In this episode David not only started recording after several drinks, but he also played along with the drinking game! So, it is either one of the funniest episodes or the worst one ever, depending on your sense of humor. Anyway, in this one we have a hot and steamy scene between Ammon and a Lamanite King, and then everyone in the royal palace drops dead, or do they??? “Drink” Count – 24 Exactly 4 Beers  

Awesome chat between David Michael and Mymo Prophet Matthew Timion. We cover everything from how Mormons justify wealth, whether or not Prophets actually believe any of this, the deeper meaning of the Nehor teachings, how either of us are arguably more moral than god, and a whole lot more. And don’t forget to check out Prophet Matthew’s book: http://www.amazon.com/Forgotten-Faith-Six-Years-Mormonism/dp/1492300802

Alma and Amulek say goodbye to the city they just turned upside down. And after a little alone time they bump into the Mosiah boys, and we get to hear what they have been up to this whole time! “Drink” Count – 30 Exactly 5 Beers  

This one starts out a little slow with Alma talking about what it takes to become a priest, but hang in there because after that it goes absolutely off the rails! No spoilers, but the craziness in this episode reaches new heights!  Just insane!  Enjoy. “Drink” Count – 25 4 Beers and a sip Prophet Jaaromy’s recommendation of the week: Thank God I’m Atheist Podcast Real Mymo Chris Watson’s Blog: Unbuckling the Bible Belt

Sorry, no BOM reading this time. Instead, I wanted to give some great news to the Mymo Family, and ask for their help in helping to save lives. The Mymo Family generosity has already saved lives, and I know we can save even more!  Please visit any of these sites to contribute: http://www.patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast http://whitefieldseducational.org/mybookofmormonpodcast/ http://whitefieldseducational.org/  

Time for an epic matchup! In the god corner, we have a rich man puffed up with pride who is one second away from calling down the wrath of god on a whole city. And in the devil corner we have… a lawyer. Which of these two fighters has even a shred of righteousness? Who will reign supreme to win over the hearts of the people? All this and more in Episode 34. “Drink” Count – 24 Exactly 4 Beers  

Alma gets spit on and kicked out of town, which pisses off god so much that he’s ready to lay waste to the whole city. Not only that, god’s prepared to partner up with the Lamanites to make it happen! Oh yeah, and there’s a lot more of Alma preaching. “Drink” Count – 42 Exactly 7 Beers! And don’t forget to check out Mymo Prophet Timion’s awesome book: “Forgotten Faith – Six Years in Mormonism” By Matthew Timion

Alma gets all preachy in this one. He tells everyone about how loving god is, and then explains that they’ll be hacked apart and burned if they don’t believe in him.  Then he tells them that they’re all sheep and better figure out which shepherd to follow, and fast!  This should be nicknamed the “Yea episode”, one chapter alone has 38 Yeas! “Drink” Count – 43 A little over 7 Beers!  

Wow, this is a bloody episode. I feel like I should add an explicit warning label on this one just for all the gory violence in these chapters! And not only that, we’ve got corpses being made into a land bridge across a river, and then people being “cleansed” in the same river! I don’t know what else to say, this one is just messed up… “Drink” Count – 40 Almost 7 Beers!!  

King Mosiah’s boys decide to go preach to the Lamanites again, but now there’s no one left to turn the kingdom over to. So, Mosiah gets rid of kings altogether and it doesn’t take long before those stubborn Nephites go back to their wicked ways.  But, at least we’re finally done the Book of Mosiah! Book of Alma, bring it on! “Drink” Count – 43 A little over 7 Beers!

In this episode, we first learn about the very bizzare Zarahemla justice system. And then the smooth talking Alma Jr threatens to destroy his Dad’s church. Will he succeed, or will god swoop down to save the day? “Drink” Count – 26 A little over 4 beers  

In this one, everyone comes home! The Nephites, Zarahemlas, the Alma Cult, Ammon and his boys, all of Zeniff’s peeps, and even Noah’s old priests and their kidnapped Lamanite wives; They’ve ALL been reunited, and good ol’ Mosiah is “Head King in Charge!” “Drink” Count – 49 Just a tad over 8 Beers!  

Battles, battles, and more battles! And this time, it looks like the Lamanites are regaining the upper hand. Oh, and we finally have to say goodbye to our friend King Noah, who gets slow roasted to death. “Drink” Count – 40 Almost 7 Beers!  

We finally have a guest on the show to help read along! Drew Kosonen from ProphetCast joins to hear what Abinadi has been up to, which basically is that he either started his own church or a set up a multi-level-marketing sceme… I’m still not really sure which. “Drink” Count – 32 A little over five Beers  

Abinadi teaches us the 10 commandments, and King Noah isn’t too pleased to hear it. Next Isaiah describes just how really, really ugly Jesus was (who knew?). And then we learn about Abinadi’s foot fetish, and all of Jesus’s seed. “Drink” Count – 39 Six and a half Beers!  

It’s Flashback time! So we jump way back in the story to find out how all the Lamanites took over everything in the first place. Then, we have our first battle chapter! Which, sadly, also includes a campaign of ethnic cleansing. But don’t worry, god is on their side! “Drink” Count – 40 Almost 7 Beers!  

Prepare yourselves, in this episode we are introduced to a true Goddess. Next we hear more about the Ammon/Limhi bromance, Then we wrap it up with a clip from my appearance on Atheists on Air, which I believe might be the funniest 10 minutes of my life.  Check out the whole episode here: Atheists on Air – Episode 57 “Drink” Count – 5 Almost 1 Beer  

And all the Kings horses, and all the Kings men, changed their names to Christ, for some reason. Next, Mosiah finally takes the reigns and decides to mend the fences with the Nephites. Also, we learn that at some point, the Lamanites used their smooth talk to whip everyone into submission. Let’s see how long they can hold on to it all! “Drink” Count – 15 2 and a half Beers  

King Benjamin tells his people that Jesus is coming, which of course they already knew. Then we learn that mormon god is a socialist, and it is probably the nicest thing this book has said so far!  Check out the links below: You’ve gotta take a look at Mymo Prophet Matt Timion’s awesome book Forgotten Faith Want to see David Michael on video with the Thought Prophets?  Check outProphetcast Thanks to ToxicTruth for suggesting the show should have a YouTube Channel “Drink” Count – 2 Not even half a beer  

So King Benjamin names his son Mosiah as the new king, and he sure has a long drawn out way of doing it. This episode also includes a humble request from your host David Michael. “Drink” Count – 8 A little over 1 Beer  

In this episode we meet a TON of new people, but they basically have nothing to say. Then we finally hear from Mr. Mormon himself, who surprisingly has very little to say himself. Well, if nothing else you should have a good buzz by the end if you playing the drinking game. “Drink” Count – 24 4 Beers  

A false prophet makes his way into the Nephite camp, but Jacob makes quick work of him. Then we hear about Jacob’s son and grandson as they continue to try and cure that terrible stiffneck disease. “Drink” Count – 24 4 Beers  

WARNING: Get ready for some serious drinking! Ok, so in this episode mormon god gives us some gardening tips, which is basically to do your best but if all else fails just burn it all. Oh yeah, and welcome back Zenos! “Drink” Count – 42 7 Beers!  

A very special episode for all the Mymos! In this show we speak with John Larsen about the Taylor Scholarship, and then chat with two Mymos about how the LDS church teaches what we have read so far. Fun, fun times! No Drinking Game this time… but feel free to drink anyway!  

In this episode we learn that Jacob really sucks at his job as a priest. Also, polygamy is evil apparently, who knew? Whether or not mormon god is ok with rich people is a bit fuzzy, but that is only because we humans are just too stupid to understand the will of mormon god. “Drink” Count – 5 Almost 1 Beer  

We finally say goodbye to Nephi. Yes, he dies in this one. Bummer for him. And, of course, those Nephites just go right back into wicked ways.  Will they never learn?  Oh, and remember to donate to the Taylor Scholarship http://whitefieldseducational.org/mybookofmormonpodcast/ “Drink” Count – 10 Almost 2 Beers  

Drinking game is back! This episode is just prophecies and other babbling, but at least we can get our drink on! “Drink” Count – 19 A little over 3 Beers  

Yet another Nephi sermon. In it we learn just how peaceful mormon god is, despite all the killing he did in the last episode.  Oh, and also god gets a little less a racist, which is good, right? “Drink” Count – 12 2 Beers  

God is really pissed and so he decides to lay waste to just about everything in his path. Warning, this is a REALLY violent episode. God gets really creative about ways to slowly kill people. So, enjoy the gore! “Drink” Count – 8 A little over 1 Beer  

Isaiah is still babbling on in this episode, but it gets pretty fun. We start out with Isaiah seeing mormon god in a wedding dress, at least I think that’s what he’s wearing, and then Isaiah getting hot coals dropped on his face. And we get introduced to my new favorite name, Maher-shalal-hash-baz. Oh, Isaiah, will you ever stop being hilarious? “Drink” Count – 2 Not even half a beer  

I’ve been told that the so called Isaiah chapters are just too boring to read… well… CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Personally, I think Isaiah is hilarious, I hope you agree! Don’t forget the new game, you have to drink after every “It came to pass” and of course, “Yea”! “Drink” Count – 8 A little over 1 Beer  

This episode is dedicated to the great community at http://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon.  You guys rock!  Ok, in this episode we’ve got Jacob telling us about heaven (which isn’t as cool as you might think) and hell (which is worse than we were previously led to believe), and a zombie apocalypse.  Oh, and then he gives mormon god a strip show.  Fun times! Drinking Game count (this will make sense after Episode 9, basically, drink after ever “Yea” and “It came to pass”) “Drink” Count – 11 Almost 2 Beers  

If you thought you knew just how racist mormon god is… you just wait until you hear this one.  Wow, just appalling!  Anyway, the Nephi family drama goes into overdrive, as it looks like we’ve got ourselves a good ol’ fashioned civil war on our hands. Drinking Game count (this will make sense after Episode 9, basically, drink after ever “Yea” and “It came to pass”) “Drink” Count – 36 6 Beers  

I’m not going to lie, this was a tough one.  It starts with god (I think) telling everyone in Israel how screwed they are, and then just shifts to Lehi babbling endlessly on his deathbed.  I hope I made it enjoyable in some way… but it wasn’t easy. Drinking Game count (this will make sense after Episode 9, basically, drink after ever “Yea” and “It came to pass”) “Drink” Count – 30 5 Beers  

My favorite one yet!  If you suffered through the boredom of episode 4, then you’ve earned this.  I’m not kidding when I say that this episode has magic brass balls, god ships, and a whole lot more crazy!  Also, Nephi increases his godlike abilities to include controlling the weather and turning his skin into a deathtrap.  Just fantastic! Drinking Game count (this will make sense after Episode 9, basically, drink after ever “Yea” and “It came to pass”) *** WARNING – THIS EPISODE WILL KILL YOU IF YOU PLAY ALONG!!! *** “Drink” Count – 101 Almost 17 Beers!!!  

This is just a loooooooong Nephi dream.  He dreams about his “seed” doing battle (and losing) in America, and we learn just how racist mormon god is.  The good news is, the dream finally ends and we’re right smack back in the middle of the old family drama. Drinking Game count (this will make sense after Episode 9, basically, drink after ever “Yea” and “It came to pass”) “Drink” Count – 58 Almost 10 Beers!!  

Nephi and his bros get some lady friends who “somehow” find a way to end their inter-family rivalry.  But that happiness is short lived as Lehi takes his wacky dreams to a whole new level.  Soon after, Nephi wants in on all the dreaming action… will God grant his wish? Drinking Game count (this will make sense after Episode 9, basically, drink after ever “Yea” and “It came to pass”) “Drink” Count – 72 12 Beers!!  

We have just started the story of Nephi.  So far, it’s pretty fun.  We’ve got a crazy hallucinating father, some “stiffnecked” brothers, theft, murder, and so much more! Drinking Game count (this will make sense after Episode 9, basically, drink after ever “Yea” and “It came to pass”) “Drink” Count – 69 Almost 12 Beers!!  

This book started off with a bang! After a few boring intro chapters, the story gets going as we hear about Joseph Smith and how this book came to be. Absolute insanity doesn’t do it justice. You just have to hear it to believe it!