One of the best ways you can grow your marriage is to set aside time every week to ask each other some intentional, specific questions. In this episode of More Than Roommates we discuss the weekly meeting and some questions you can ask each other every week.Scriptures:Genesis 2:252 Corinthians 12:9Ephesians 5:15-16Questions to Discuss:What is God teaching you? How can I serve you better this upcoming week?How can I pray for you in the week ahead?How can we make sure we make time for each other?What's on our calendar in the next week? Resources:Blog Post - One Thing We Like To Do For Our Marriage Every Week

Today in part 9 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss self-control. Like a city whose walls are broken down, a marriage marked by a lack of self-control is often broken and in need of restoration. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss why it matters to demonstrate the fruit of self-control in your marriage.Galatians 5:22-23Proverbs 25:28Questions to Discuss:1. Who is more disciplined in your marriage—you or your spouse?2, Where do you show self-control in marriage and where can you grow?3. As we wrap-up this 9-part series, which of the 9 Fruit of the Spirit mark your life and marriage? Where is it lacking?

Today in part 8 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss gentleness. In our relationships, we either escalate/exacerbate the challenges with anger or a lack of gentleness, or we demonstrate the fruit of spirit of gentleness and turn away wrath.Galatians 5:22-23Proverbs 15:1Matthew 11:28-30Gentle and Lowly, by Dane OrtlundQuestions to Discuss:1. What’s a household task you’re not good at?2. Would your spouse/others describe you as gentle/tender?3. How does a lack of gentleness affect your relationships with your spouse/kids/others?

Today in part 7 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss faithfulness. We all want to be faithful in every aspect of our lives and reflect God’s faithfulness. This plays out in many different ways in our marriages!Galatians 5:22-232 Timothy 2:13Luke 16:10Questions to Discuss:1. Are there any teams/brands/artists that you are way too loyal to (i.e., they can do no wrong)?2. Would you and your spouse say your marriage is marked by fidelity? Do you keep your promises and do what you say you’re going to do?3. Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets. How can you build trust through your faithfulness?

Today in part 6 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss ‘goodness’. What if our marriages were marked by integrity and goodness? We know God is good, and so how can we look more like Jesus in our marriage?Galatians 5:22-23Romans 3:10-12Psalm 14:3Psalm 31:19Acts 5:1-11Questions to Discuss:1. When did you most get in trouble for school (for cheating, or for other reasons)?2. What are some ways you can grow in your integrity in your marriage? Discuss with each other.3. Are there small areas in your life and marriage where you allow space for compromise? Ask your spouse if they see any areas of compromise in your life and marriage?

Today in part 5 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss the importance of kindness. What if our marriages were marked by kindness? How different would we look than the rest of the world if husbands and wives were kind to one another?Galatians 5:22-23 Romans 2:4Ephesians 4:32Psalm 145:171 Corinthians 13:4Questions to Discuss:1. What were some TV shows you watched as a kid?2. Who’s the kindest person you know? What does this person do that makes them kind?3. What’s one tangible one you can show kindness to your spouse today?

In part 4 of our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit we’re talking about patience! In our instant society, patience can be really challenging. But when we’re led by the Spirit, we can demonstrate a Christlike patience in our marriages. Galatians 5:22-232 Peter 3:9 Questions to Discuss:1. Is it easier for you to show more patience to other people or towards your spouse?2. How does selfishness contribute to a lack of patience in your marriage and family?3. How does a lack of patience play out in your marriage and family?

In part 3 of our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit we’re talking about peace! Is your life and your marriage marked by the peace that surpasses all understanding? With such a lack of peace in our world and in so many marriages, the marriage marked by peace stands out. Galatians 5:22-23Philippians 4:7Isaiah 26:3Romans 12:18Ephesians 4:3Proverbs 25:24MT 11:28-30 Questions to Discuss:1. Who do you know who is marked by peace?2. Does peace mark your life and your marriage/family? Why or why not?3. Are you making every effort to keep unity and peace in your marriage and family?

In part 2 of our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit we’re talking about JOY! As part of the Fruit of the Spirit, our joy is intended to be connected to who God is, not the circumstances of life. And this is intended to be played out every day in our marriages. Galatians 5:22-231 Thessalonians 5:16-18Philippians 4:4John 10:10Psalm 16:11Questions to Discuss: 1. What’s your favorite Pixar movie?2. What’s your joy tied to? How about your joy in marriage?3. What can help bring joy in your lives and marriage (in addition to your relationship with Jesus)?

Welcome to our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, we’re doing 9 daily mini episodes on each of the nine Fruit of the Spirit. Today we talk about love and why it matters in a God-honoring marriage. Galatians 5:22-231 John 4:18-19Romans 5:8John 15:13Questions to Discuss: 1. Are you and your spouse aligned on expectations for Valentine’s Day?2. Do your actions back up your words? Do you demonstrate your love to your spouse in your actions? 3. What would it look like for you to lay down your life for your spouse?

In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott celebrate one year of More Than Roommates with some very special guests. Together we talk through some great conversations for you and your spouse to have that will help grow your marriage. Thanks for joining us this first year. We're so excited for all to come in the year ahead. Scriptures:Ephesians 3:20-21Hebrews 3:13 Resources:Book - The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott KedershaPodcast – Episode 53 More Than Roommates – Friends, Partners, and Lovers (feat. Kevin Thompson) Questions to Discuss:1. In the year ahead, what do you want to KEEP doing in your marriage?2. In the year ahead, what do you want to STOP doing in your marriage?3. In the year ahead, what do you want to START doing in your marriage?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we talk with marriage pastor Chris Schultz about the unhurried life. Chris shares his marriage testimony (which includes $100,000 debt, infidelity, porn, and much more), and we discuss how you and your spouse can make decisions to live the unhurried life.Questions to Discuss:1. How’s our pace of life and the pace of our marriage?2. Do we have the courage to say “no” to the wrong things so that we can say “yes” to the right ones?3. What’s one step you can take to eliminate hurry?Resources:Follow Chris Schultz on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pastorcoachschultz/Book – An Unhurried Life: Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Work and Rest, by Alan Fadling

Building trust is hard work that takes a lot of time and hard work. It’s often been said trust is built in drops and lost in buckets. Yet trust is so crucial in every relationship, especially in marriage. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss how to build and restore trust in your marriage.Scriptures:Matthew 5:37Proverbs 28:13Romans 8:11 Corinthians 13:6Questions to Discuss:Are you quick or slow to confess when you sin or mess up in marriage?What are a few ways you can quickly build trust in your marriage?How can you do a better job of looking for ways where your spouse is trustworthy?Resources:Book - Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken, by Dr. Henry CloudBook – Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, by Paul David Tripp (2 great chapters on trust)

Many couples have a poor picture of the commitment required to thrive in marriage. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss two types of commitment and why they’re both required to thrive in your marriage.Scriptures:Matthew 19:3-6Matthew 5:37Ephesians 5:22-33Acts 20:24Phil 3:14John 15:13Phil 1:6Questions to discuss:What does it mean that God is a Covenant keeping God and how does that affect the way you live out your marriage?  What’s the difference between constraint commitment and dedication commitment?What does it mean to cast aside all other options and to be fully commited to your spouse?Resources:Book – A Lasting Promise: The Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage, by Scott Stanley, et al

While every marriage is different, there tend to be some common characteristics of couples who thrive. In this episode, we discuss four common characteristics of married couples who thrive in marriage.Scripture:John 15:5James 4:11 Timothy 1:15Proverbs 13:20Hebrews 10:24-25Matthew 7:3-5Matthew 19:6Matthew 5:37Questions to Discuss:1. Input - How have you fed your soul this week? What are you learning in the Word?2. Output - How are you feeding others? Have you shared the gospel, served others, etc…?3. Confession - How have you fed your flesh? What do you need to confess?4. Of the four common characteristics shared, which one is a strength in your marriage? Which do you need to most improve in?

Approximately one-third of all weddings in America today form stepfamilies and many couples are either currently part of a stepfamily or grew up in a stepfamily. And even if you didn’t, chances are extremely high that you know some stepfamilies. In this episode, we interview Blended Family speaker, author, and podcaster, Ron Deal. We hope this episode helps your marriage and family and that you’ll share it with a friend! Questions to Discuss:Have you ever given any consideration to the unique challenges and opportunities of stepfamilies?What did you learn that was new to you about blended/step families?How does pride affect you and your marriage?Take a few moments to pray for your family and for any stepfamilies you know. Resources:Book - The Smart Stepfamily, by Ron DealWebsite - Family Life Blended – Strengthening StepfamiliesWebsite – SmartStepfamilies.comPodcast – FamilyLife Blended

Every couple knows what it’s like to be stuck in a decision. What do you and your spouse do when you’re stuck and can’t move forward? In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss some steps you can take to get unstuck in your marriage.Scriptures:Genesis 2:24PR 18:1-2James 1:19-20PR 15:1Colossians 4:62 Tim 3:16-171 Thess 5:16-18James 1:5PR 16:9PR 13:20Isa 26:3Resources:More Than Roommates, Episode 22 – What Questions Can Help You Make Decisions in Marriage?Sermon from Harris Creek from Jonathan “JP” Pokluda – Questions to Ask When Making DecisionsQuestions to Discuss:1. What steps do you take when you and your spouse are stuck (in a decision, spiritually, in your marriage, etc…)?2. When’s the last time you and your spouse prayed about a decision you needed to make?3. What’s a decision you’re trying to make right now? How can you apply when you learned in this episode to the decision you’re trying to make?

What do you do when you and your spouse are in a spiritual mismatch, where one spouse is more spiritually mature than the other? In this episode we discuss what to do and how you can best grow your relationship and encourage your spouse. Share this one with a friend who needs some encouragement.Questions to Discuss:How can you specifically pray for your spouse if you’re more mature than they are?Honestly ask yourself if you nag your spouse. How can you more gently encourage them or ask others to help?Are you being patient with yourself? Your spouse?Scriptures:2 Corinthians 6:141 Peter 3:1-2Romans 12:10Colossians 3:12-14Galatians 5:22-231 Corinthians 7:151 Thessalonians 5:14Luke 18:1-8Galatians 6:9Shownotes:Podcast - Questions Couples Ask Before Marriage (feat. Nate Hilgenkamp)Blog Post - What If You Want to Pursue the Lord But Your Spouse Does Not?Book – Sacred Pathways: Nine Ways to Connect with God, by Gary Thomas

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss how technology can positively and negatively impact your marriage. There are plenty of dangers and benefits of technology, and we need to think through how technology can grow our marriage and not hurt them.Scriptures:1 Corinthians 6:121 Corinthians 10:13Ephesians 5:15-16Matthew 5:27-30Philippians 2:3-4Mark 1:35Questions to Discuss:How does technology impact your marriage in a positive way?How does technology impact your marriage in a negative way?What limits/rules/practices do you have around technology? Do you have screen-time limits? Are there any areas in your home that are device-free?Resources:The Tech-Wise Family, by Andy CrouchMade For People, by Justin Whitmel Earley (Justin has a great chapter on technology in this book)Technology and Your Marriage (Part 1 in a 2-Part Series)Humility: The Joy of Self-Forgetfulness, by Gavin Ortlund

Technology can be both a blessing and a curse. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss ways to grow in oneness in your marriage when it comes to phones and technology.Scriptures:Genesis 2:24-25PR 28:13Romans 13:14Psalm 139:23-24Galatians 5:1Questions to Discuss:1. Is there anything technology-related that’s off-limits to your spouse? Are there any legitimate reasons why your spouse doesn’t have access to your phone/iPad, social media accounts, texts… ?2. What’s one intentional step you can take to grow in oneness when it comes to technology?3. Pray Psalm 139:23-24 together, asking God to reveal any offensive ways within you.Resources:The Tech-Wise Family, by Andy CrouchMade For People, by Justin Whitmel Earley (Justin has a great chapter on technology in this book)

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott interviews marriage pastor and author Kevin Thompson about three roles we are each created to play in marriage. We talk about what marriage was intended to look like before the fall and the three roles we get to play in marriage today (and what happens when we don't live as friends, partners, and lovers).Scriptures:Genesis 2:18-25Ecclesiastes 4:9-12Resources:Book - Friends, Partners, and Lovers by Kevin ThompsonBook – Stay in Your Lane by Kevin ThompsonKevin’s Website – Changetheodds.comFind Kevin on InstagramQuestions to Discuss:How are you doing in your friendship in marriage?How are you doing in your partnership in marriage?How are you doing in your role as lover in marriage?What can you celebrate and how can you grow?

We are so excited about the More Than Roommates Marriage Conference on February 2-3, 2024 at Harris Creek! We'll have great teaching, breakouts, fun, and surprises as we seek to help couples take the next intentional step to become so much more than just roommates.We hope to see you there! You can find all the details about the conference and sign-up to join us right here. As always, if we can answer any questions, email us at marriage@harriscreek.org .Please make sure to rate and review More Than Roommates, and please share with your friends.

The holidays provide a great opportunity for us to love and serve our families. Yet, they’re often filled with stress, conflict, and broken relationships. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss how we can best serve our families and keep our marriage strong during the holiday season.Scriptures:Romans 12:10Genesis 2:24Proverbs 27:17Romans 12:21 Thessalonians 4:13Questions to Discuss:What’s one way you can serve your family this holiday season?Have you communicated your plans for the holidays with your families?What’s a new tradition you can start as you visit family this year during the holidays?Resources:Episode 43 of More Than Roommates – The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships (feat. Dave Willis)Book – Married Into the Family by Dave & Ashley WillisBlog – 3 Ways to Communicate Your Way to a Merry Little Christmas

How can we keep our marriage strong in the middle of a very full holiday season? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss practical ways you can strengthen your marriage and family to make this the best holiday season yet!Scriptures:Mark 10:45Romans 12:1-2Questions to Discuss:What are some holiday traditions we can start or continue to do in our marriage?What’s your favorite Christmas movie? Song? TV show?Take a few minutes to pray together for the upcoming holiday season.Resources:Paul Tripp Advent Devotional – Come, Let Us Adore HimShe Reads Truth & He Reads Truth – Advent StudiesAnnie F Downs – Advent StudyBlog Post - 8 Ways to Make This Your Best Christmas Yet

Many of us tend to be quick to blame our spouse and slow to own our part. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how we can do a better job of owning our part instead of blaming. Draw the circle around yourself and work on the person inside the circle.Scriptures:Matthew 7:3-51 Timothy 1:15Psalm 139:23-24Proverbs 28:13Shownotes:How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told, by Harrison Scott KeyHow to Stay Married, TED talk by Harrison Scott KeyWhen Sinners Say I Do, by Dave HarveySave the Date: The More Than Roommates Marriage Conference, Feb 2-3, 2024, Harris Creek Baptist Church (More details coming soon)Questions to Discuss:1. How do you do in owning your part? Do you tend to own your part or point the finger and blame your spouse?2. What would owning your part allow to happen in your marriage?3. Do you own your part too slowly? Too quickly? Or just right? Ask your community if you need some input.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we interview Justin Whitmel Earley, author of Made For People. We discuss loneliness and how to fight for a life of friendship, both inside and outside of marriage. We also talked about vulnerability, technology, forgiveness, social media, and so much more!Shownotes:Justin’s website – Justin Whitmel Earley (check out his email list!)Made For People: Why We Drift Into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of FriendshipThe Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of DistractionHabits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family RhyhtmsQuestions to Discuss:1. How’s your friendship with your spouse? How can you grow in your friendship with your spouse?2. How can you grow in your friendship with others outside of your marriage?3. Do you have friends who know you fully and love you anyway?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to keep your marriage strong when you have kids. It’s easy to make your kids your number one priority, so we discuss practical wisdom on how to keep your relationship with Jesus and your spouse strong while still raising your kids.Scriptures:Ephesians 6:10-20, Genesis 2:24, Eph 4:1-3, Romans 12:18, PR 13:20, 22:6, Mark 10:45, MT 20:28, 1 Cor 7:3-5, 1 Peter 5:8, Phil 2:3-4Questions to Discuss:How do you and your spouse view children? Are they a blessing or a burden?What do you think God is trying to teach you in this season of marriage and parenting?How are we doing at keeping Jesus our number one priority? How are we making our kids a priority?Resources:Episode 42 – More Than Roommates – When’s the Right Time to Grow Your Family?For Better or For Kids, by Ruth and Patrick Schwenk

What if there was one habit you and your spouse can do in your marriage that would dramatically increase your likelihood of marital success and satisfaction? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about the importance of prayer in marriage and share about Scott’s new book, The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide.  Scripture:James 5:16, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Matthew 18:20 Scott’s New Book! The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide – 100 Prayers for Dating and Engaged CouplesBook Website and Pre-Order Bonus InformationPre-order Bonus formScott’s first book – Ready or Knot?: 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before Marriage Questions to Discuss:1. What are the biggest obstacles to why you and your spouse don’t pray together?2. What keeps you and your spouse from praying together? Do you and your spouse believe in the power of prayer?3. What’s one tangible step you and your spouse can take to more intentionally pray together on a consistent basis? Save the Date! The More Than Roommates Marriage Conference at Harris Creek – February 2-3, 2024

Coming this Fall on More Than Roommates - technology, keeping your marriage strong when you have kids, commitment, holidays, and much more. We also have some great guests joining us this fall. As always, if we can answer any questions, email us at marriage@harriscreek.org. Please make sure to rate and review More Than Roommates, and please share with your friends.

BONUS EPISODE! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share some of their takeaways from their interview with Professor Nancy Pearcey about her book The Toxic War on Masculinity. They discuss what surprised and encouraged them and also discuss what healthy spiritual leadership in the home looks like.Scriptures:Galatians 3:28, Genesis 1:26-27, Proverbs 22:6Shownotes:Book by Nancy Pearcey – The Toxic War on MasculinityEpisode #45 of More Than Roommates - Interview with Professor PearceyBlog Post – What Does Spiritual Leadership in the Home Look Like?Blog Post – How Can A Husband Best Lead His WifeBlog Post - How Can A Dad Best Lead His Children and HomeQuestions to Discuss:1. What surprised you or encouraged you the most from this episode?2. What’s one area of your life where you are nominal in your faith?3. Have you and your spouse discussed what healthy spiritual leadership looks like in the home?

What if much of what you hear about marital satisfaction and divorce rates inside and outside the church is actually incorrect? In this week’s episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott interview Professor Nancy Pearcey about her latest book, The Toxic War on Masculinity. Stay tuned for a bonus follow-up episode later this week! Nancy Pearcey is the author of The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes, as well as Love Thy Body, The Soul of Science, Saving Leonardo, Finding Truth, and Total Truth. She is professor and scholar in residence at Houston Christian University. She has been quoted in The New Yorker and Newsweek, highlighted as one of the five top women apologists by Christianity Today, and hailed in The Economist as "America's pre-eminent evangelical Protestant female intellectual."Nancy’s website - https://www.nancypearcey.com/Scriptures:Ephesians 5:25-27Questions to Discuss:1) What can you do in your relationship with Christ to help prevent you from being nominal in your faith?2) What surprised you most from this interview with Professor Pearcey?3) Men - Are you willing to ‘pay the daddy penalty’ at work?

It’s inevitable for every married couple that you will walk through times when your spouse annoys you. What do you do in these situations – overlook it, pray about it, talk to them about it, talk to others about it? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott, Derek, and I Gabrielle discuss what to do when your spouse annoys you.Scriptures:James 4:1Matthew 7:3-5Proverbs 19:111 Corinthians 13:5Shownotes:Episode 25 of More Than Roommates - How to Have Hard Conversations and How to Do Them WellQuestions to Discuss:What do you do that annoys your spouse? What does your spouse do that annoys you?Keep track of your spouse’s rights today, not their wrongs. Tell your spouse something you appreciate and value about them.Pray that God would help you overlook any small offenses and that He would help you love your spouse as the Lord loves you.

In-Laws and family of origin often get a bad reputation, and our relationship with our families is often a major stressor in marriage. In this week’s episode, Derek and Scott interview podcaster, speaker, and author Dave Willis. Dave and his wife Ashley host the very popular podcast, The Naked Marriage with Dave & Ashley Willis. We’re confident this episode will both help and entertain you as we discuss how to have healthy relationships with your in-laws.Scriptures:Romans 12:18Genesis 2:25Ruth 1:16-17Shownotes:Dave & Ashley’s new book - Married into the Family: The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law RelationshipsXO MarriagePodcast - The Naked Marriage with Dave & Ashley WillisDave & Ashley on InstagramQuestions to Discuss:How is your relationship with your parents/family of origin? In-laws? What can you do today to improve these relationships?When you have issues/challenges in your marriage, who do you first turn to—friends, the Lord, your parents?

We’re answering our most frequently asked questions! When do you start trying to grow your family? How many kids should you have? What if you want kids but can’t get pregnant? How should couples view children? Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott answer these questions and more in this week’s new episode of More Than Roommates.Scriptures:Genesis 1:27-28Psalm 127:3-5James 1:17Matthew 19:12Matthew 28:19-20Show Notes:Blog Post: How to Change the World: Raise a Godly Young ManBecoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda (Podcast) – Should I Want to Have Kids? And How Many?Resources for those walking through infertility:Website - Watermark Community Church in Dallas has compiled some helpful resources through their Shiloh Ministry.Book - When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing InfertilityOther couples – the best resource is to find another couple who has walked this road.Questions to discuss:How do you view children? As a burden or a blessing? (Answer with honesty)Are you and your spouse aligned in how you view children?How did you know when to start trying to grow your family?

Busyness is one of the biggest challenges to marriages and we don’t even realize it. It’s the sucker punch and silent killer of many relationships that affects every part of our lives. In this episode of More Than Roommates, pastor and author Gary Thomas joins Scott & Derek as we discuss busyness and marriage. Gary is the author of more than 20 books and serves on the teaching team at Cherry Hills Community Church in Highlands Ranch, CO.Scriptures:Ephesians 6:12Psalm 90:12Shownotes:Sacred PathwaysMaking Your Marriage a FortressGary’s Website – Garythomas.comBlog post - One Thing We Like to do for Our Marriage Every WeekQuestions to discuss:Do you know what’s going on in each other’s lives? When’s the last time you checked to see how your spouse is really doing?How can busyness destroy your marriage? How do you know if you’re too busy in your marriage?What relational skill can you work on this year?

In this episode (Part 2 of a 2-part series), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what practical implications of what the Bible says about roles in marriage. We discuss how biblical roles play out in marriage with specific examples from our own marriages.Scriptures:Proverbs 18:2, Phil 2:3-4, Romans 12:10, 1 Corinthians 12Resources - We’re including more resources that normal since we know this is a topic about which many husbands and wives have questions.From God Questions - What is egalitarianism?From Got Questions - What is complementarianism?From Harris Creek – a Message from JP - Real MarriageMust Wives Submit to Husbands?From the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood - Summaries of the Egalitarian and Complementarian PositionsQuestions to discuss:1) Read 1 Corinthians 12 and discuss with your spouse. What gifts do you each have? What are some ways you each uniquely strengthen your marriage?2) How can you encourage your spouse in the role they play in your marriage?

In this episode (Part 1 of a 2-part series), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what the Bible says about roles in marriage. We discuss different views on marital roles, and even share some of our own different views on this topic. Roles are often misunderstood and abused, so we all need to think (and act) rightly on this topic.Scriptures:Ephesians 5:22-28, Genesis 1:26-27, 2:28, 3:16; John 14:26; Mark 10:42-45Resources - We’re including more resources that normal since we know this is a topic about which many husbands and wives have questions.From God Questions - What is egalitarianism?From Got Questions - What is complementarianism?From Harris Creek – a Message from JP - Real MarriageMust Wives Submit to Husbands?From the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood - Summaries of the Egalitarian and Complementarian PositionsQuestions to discuss:1) How did your upbringing affect your views on roles in marriage?2) How are you doing at serving each other?3) How do you make big decisions in your marriage?

In Part 2 of this 2-part series, Byron & Carla Weathersbee, founders of Legacy Family Ministries, share three more patterns they’ve observed in couples who thrive in marriage. They share from their own 39 years of marriage and 28 years of full-time marriage ministry. This is Part 2 in 2-Part series from the Weathersbees. We discuss resilience, unity, and spiritual intimacy.Scriptures:1 Corinthians 7:28, John 16:33, 1 Peter 3:7, 1 Peter 3:1-2, Luke 6:47-49Questions to discuss:1) How do you deal with your differences and the small things that frustrate you about your spouse?2) What’s one small step you and your spouse can take to grow in spiritual intimacy?Sacred Pathways, by Gary ThomasTo Have and To Hold: Preparing for a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla WeathersbeeLegacy Family MinistriesTogether: Building a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla Weathersbee, Amy Castello

In Part 1 of this 2-part series, Byron & Carla Weathersbee, founders of Legacy Family Ministries, share patterns they’ve observed in couples who thrive in marriage. They share from their own 39 years of marriage and 28 years of full-time marriage ministry. This is Part 1 in 2-Part series from the Weathersbees. In this episode, Byron and Carla discuss the importance of both loving and liking your spouse. Part 2 coming next Tuesday! (8/15/23)Scriptures:1 Corinthians 13:5Questions to Discuss:1) What do you do to play and have fun in your marriage?2) How can you show more gratitude to your spouse?To Have and To Hold: Preparing for a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla WeathersbeeLegacy Family MinistriesTogether: Building a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla Weathersbee, Amy Castello

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we’re joined by Nate Hilgenkamp, one of the co-hosts of the podcast, Becoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda. We discuss questions couples ask before marriage on topics such as purity, sex, conflict, and more. If you’re already married, be encouraged in your own married and share this episode with friends who are dating and engaged.Scriptures:2 Corinthians 6:14-15, Hebrews 12:1-2, Ephesians 5:3, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Romans 13:14, Romans 8:1Resources:Outdated, by Jonathan “JP” PokludaReady or Knot, by Scott KedershaThe Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott KedershaQuestions to Discuss:1) Whether married or single, how can you grow in personal and relational purity?2) How well do you and your significant other resolve conflict?3) What dating and engaged couples can you share this episode with?

What are the 4 Horsemen of communication and conflict? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss four negative patterns all couples need to watch out for and remove—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by Dr. John M. GottmanScriptures Referenced:Philippians 2:14, Proverbs 21:19, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5, 1 Timothy 1:15Questions to Discuss:1. How can you fight back against being overly critical of your spouse?2. Text your spouse right now and tell them one reason why you’re grateful for them.3. With which one of the four horsemen do you most readily identity with? What can you do to minimize this negative behavior in your marriage?

Hey Podcast World! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Jonathan "JP" Pokluda, Lead Pastor of Harris Creek and Host of the Becoming Something Podcast, joins Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott for some marriage Q&A. We discussed trends in marriage, what JP is learning in his own marriage, and how to prioritize your marriage in the midst of the busyness of life.Becoming Something with Jonathan PokludaWhy Do I Do What I Don't Want to Do?, by JPScriptures: 1 Peter 3:7, PR 18:22, Matthew 5:27-28Questions to Discuss:1. What's the biggest challenge you're facing in your current season of marriage?2. What are you learning about marriage right now?3. How do you and your spouse make decisions about what to prioritize?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview author and speaker Jodie Berndt about her new book, Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage. We talk about how to pray for your marriage, what to do if your spouse doesn’t want to pray with you, and how you can best pursue the Lord together in marriage.Praying the Scriptures for Your MarriageJodie’s WebsiteFollow Jodie on Instagram.31 Days of Prayer for your marriageQuestions to Discuss:1. How are you and your spouse doing at praying for your marriage?2. What are some specific ways you can pray for your spouse today? For your marriage today?3. Check out Jodie’s new book – it’s an excellent resource for every couple and would make a great wedding gift (Hardcover Edition)!

In Part 3 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss two more barriers to intimacy couples often face. We discuss sexual expectations (sexpectations) and unresolved pain, sin, or struggles. We hope this 3-Part series has helped you have some needed conversations about intimacy. Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaRethinking Sexuality, by Juli Slattery#4 - We all have unmet expectations1. How satisfied am I sexually?2. How satisfied is my spouse sexually?3. Where are our sexual expectations aligned?4. Where are they different?5. Do I feel a freedom to share my desires sexually?6. What are some barriers or insecurities that prevent me from sharing with my spouse? #5 - We have unresolved or unconfessed pain, sex, and struggles1. Have I worked through any sexual hurts/addictions/habits?2. What do I need to confess or share with my spouse?3. Do I have a right view of intimacy?

In Part 2 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss three barriers to intimacy couples often face. We discuss the importance of working on our marriages, communicating well, and how schedule and busyness affect marital intimacy. Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta #1 - We’re not willing to work hard on our marriage.1. On a scale of 1-10 (1-horrible, 10-perfection), how would I rate our marriage?2. How would I rate our sex life?3. What would it take to increase our numbers? #2- We don’t communicate (in general and about sex)1. How are we honestly doing in our day-to-day communication?2. Is there any unresolved conflict?3. Why is it difficult for us to talk about sexual intimacy? #3 - We’re too busy to get busy1. What in our schedule prevents us from being more intentional sexually?2. When is the last time I pursued my spouse romantically and sexually?

One of the biggest challenges most couples face is that they become complacent in marriage and stop making efforts to learn more about themselves, their spouse, and marriage. In this main stage session from the Behind the Scenes Marriage Conference at Harris Creek (Jan, 2023), Scott Kedersha shares what it looks like to be a lifelong learner in marriage. Questions to Discuss:1. When you first started dating each other, what did you do to learn more about your significant other?2. What is one practical step you can take today to be a better student of your spouse?3. Challenge: You and your spouse each come up with 2 questions to ask each other. Make time on your calendar to ask each other your questions.

In Part 1 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss how to have a healthy and right view of sex and marriage. We all bring baggage and challenges into marriage when it comes to sex, but if we want to have a healthy sex life, then we must learn how to think rightly about it. Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta Questions to Discuss1. What were some fears you had about sex before you got married?2. Do you believe you and your spouse have a healthy view of sex and marriage? Why or why not?3. How would you and your spouse rate your sex life on a scale of 1-10? Why did you answer the way you did?

Marriages either have the wrong mission or no mission at all. What would it look for you to be on mission in your marriage? In this main stage session from the Behind the Scenes Marriage Conference at Harris Creek, Derek and Kellie Davidson share what it looks like to be on mission together in your marriage.Questions to Discuss:1. How are you doing in being/living on mission in your marriage?2. Are you willing to live at a cost while on mission in marriage?3. What is God asking of your marriage and your family?

What does it look like to celebrate your spouse well? Instead of competing with each other, what would it look like for you to consistently celebrate them. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss practical ways to rejoice with and celebrate your spouse.Five Love Languages, by Dr. Gary ChapmanFive Love Languages QuizQuestions to Discuss:1. How do you do at celebrating each other?2. What’s one way you can celebrate your spouse today? Now go do it!3. Do you focus more on your spouse’s flaws or do you focus on ways you can celebrate and encourage them?

In this bonus episode of More Than Roommates, we share a talk Alison Treadaway gave at Harris Creek’s marriage conference in January 2023. In this talk, Alison talks about the pitfalls and benefits of comparison in marriage. It's what we do with comparison that matters!Questions to Discuss:1. How is comparison in marriage holding you back and potentially even building resentment?2. What leads you to compare yourself, your spouse, or your marriage to others?3. What's one thing your spouse does so well? Encourage them in one way they are beyond comparison!

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how and why to have hard conversations with your spouse. Most couples struggle with hard conversations because of things like pride and defensiveness. But, when we do this well, it can strengthen our marriage in every way!Shownotes:One Conversation with My Son that Left Me Speechless.Questions to Discuss:1. Why is it difficult to have hard conversations in our marriage?2. What’s the best time for us to have hard conversations?3. How can we make our marriage a safer place for hard conversations?

Part 2 on expectations: In this bonus episode of More Than Roommates, we share a talk Jonathan “JP” Pokluda, lead pastor of Harris Creek and host of the Becoming Something Podcast, gave at Harris Creek’s marriage conference in January 2023. In this talk, JP talks about how we combat unmet expectations and marital entitlements with gratitude towards our spouse.Questions to Discuss:How have you allowed your expectations turn into entitlements in marriage?What do you think your spouse owes you?What’s one way you can show gratitude to your spouse today? Now go do it or say it!

In this episode, we bring Jonathan “JP” Pokluda, lead pastor of Harris Creek and host of the Becoming Something Podcast, into the studio as we discuss expectations in marriage: where do they come from and how you and your significant other can walk through your unmet expectations in a way that can strengthen your marriage.Questions to Discuss:What are the sources of your expectations?What are some examples of your biggest disappointments that come from your missed expectations?Who are you learning from?

Coming this summer on More Than Roommates - bonus episodes dropping in addition to our weekly episodes on Tuesday mornings.

Life and marriage seem to be filled with one decision after another. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss helpful six questions to ask when making decisions. Shownotes:Sermon from Jonathan “JP” Pokluda - Questions to Ask When Making DecisionsBlog Post - One Way to Help You Avoid Life's Biggest Regrets and Mistakes Questions to Discuss With Your Spouse:1. How can you and your spouse improve you make decisions?2. Do you tend to process decisions with others or just report decisions you already made? Why?3. Think of a medium-size decision you and your spouse need to make, and discuss how these six questions can help you make a better decision.

In-Laws often get an unfair reputation. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss several ways to grow a healthy relationship with each of your parents and families. We discuss practical ways to navigate the challenges and opportunities that come with our families.Questions to discuss with your spouse:1. What is your vision or hopes for what your family and in-law relationships can look like?2. What's one intentional step you can take to strengthen your relationship with each of your families?3. Take a few minutes to specifically pray for each of your families.

How can I love my spouse well every day? Our marriages reflect the amount of work and effort we put into them. In this episode, Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle interview John McGee, the Senior Director of Resources at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, TX. John has an abundance of wisdom we can learn from as he shares how he and his wife intentionally pursue each other.Shownotes:Watermark ResourcesTiny Habit ChallengeJohn & Pam McGee’s talk from the Uncommon Marriage ConferenceQuestions to Discuss with your spouse:1. Discuss with your spouse how you’re doing in intentionally pursuing each other in the day-to-day moments.2. Pick 1 habit from the Tiny Habit Challenge to add to your marriage this week!3. Encourage your spouse with one small thing you’ve seen them do well in the last week. Tell them how they’re pursuing you well.

Healthy marriages are filled with small challenges and sin struggles couples must attend to every single day; things such as busyness, selfishness, and pride. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott address some challenges we must focus on every single day to grow a healthier, more intentional marriage.Shownotes – Marriage, by Paul David Tripp, Adam Grant Tweet

Money and financial problems often rank high in the reasons why couples struggle or get divorced. What does the Bible say about money and how does it affect our marriages? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss four biblical principles that can help your marriage when it comes to money and finances.Resources – Becoming Something – Money and Family, The Marriage Challenge, by Art Rainer

We all want to be kind in marriage, but for some reason, it can be so challenging to show kindness to our spouse! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss some of the reasons why we struggle to be kind to our spouse and ways we can be kinder to each other.Resource – The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn

Our thoughts affect the way we live and affect our marriages, probably much more than we realize. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview marriage expert and author Ted Lowe. We focus our discussion on the importance of empathy in marriage.  Shownotes – Us In Mind, by Ted Lowe; Find out more about Ted at TedLowe.comScripture – Rom 12:2, 12:15, James 4:1

What does it look like to be connected spiritually with your spouse? How do you pursue Jesus well together even with your different personalities and wirings? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share some ways you can pursue Jesus together.Shownotes – Bible Reading Plan, Spiritual Pathways by Gary Thomas

What is the wise thing to do when it comes to marriage and friends of the opposite sex? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to be above reproach with opposite sex friendships and share some practical ways to be thoughtful about opposite sex friendships.Why Do We Want to Put a Stone in Your Shoe?

What role do friendships and community play in marriage? In this episode, Derek, Scott, and Gabrielle discuss how friendships play a key role in marriage and the ways in which community provides both support and encouragement.

How's your marital communication? Ever need help resolving and managing conflict? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss harmful marital communication patterns and how they affect our relationships. Learn how to better communicate by identifying your communication ditches. Check out the book A Lasting Promise by Scott Stanley, Trathen, McCain, Bryan

How do you handle the differences you have with your significant other? Do you resent them and do they drive you crazy? Or do you embrace and celebrate them? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to celebrate your differences and see how the Lord can use them to strengthen your marriage.

In Part 2 in this series on porn, we discuss how to discuss our struggles with community and the importance of confession in marriage. Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle share authentic, biblical, and practical thoughts on confession and community.Freedom Starts Today, by John ElmoreWhy Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do?, by Jonathan “JP” Pokluda & Jon Greenregen recoveryBecoming Something Episode 203 - A Conversation with a Former P*rn Star (feat. Joshua Broome)

Pornography destroys lives and ends marriages. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss how pornography has affected each of our lives and marriages, and why we need to actively fight back against sin struggles with lust and pornography.Shownotes:How Porn Nearly Ruined My LifeBecoming Something – Episode 002 - Finding Freedom From PornFight The New Drug - https://fightthenewdrug.org/

Happy Valentine’s Day! In part 3 of this series, we talk about practical ways to date your spouse. We hope you and your spouse love each other because Christ first loved us and because of His love, we want to be so much more than just roommates.

In Part 2 of this bonus 3-part series, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to keep dating and pursuing your spouse. Even in the busyness of life, we need to look for ways to make our marriage a priority.

In this special episode, we talk about the importance of continuing to date and pursue your spouse, long after you say, “I do!” Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss why to keep dating your spouse.Here are a few resources we reference in this Special 3-Part Series:Waco Date GuideHow to Make Date Nights (With Your Spouse) Less BoringConversation StartersDefy Drift Conversation Cards

Special episodes coming soon! We have three short episodes coming your way next week. Learn why, how, when, and where to date your spouse so that you can become More Than Roommates! 

In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott each share three things they’re glad they did from the beginning in their marriages. Whether you’re already doing these things or not, it’s never too late to start good habits and practices in your marriage.

In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share three mistakes they each made from Day 1 of marriage. Whether you’re a newlywed or married for decades, it’s never too late to make changes in your marriage.

In this episode, we discuss what it looks like to have a biblical vision and picture of marriage. To be more than just roommates, we need to have a better understanding of God’s design and ideal for marriage.

Without an intentional plan to grow our marriages, most couples will coast into mediocrity. In this episode we discuss how to take intentional steps to grow your marriage in the year ahead.

In this first episode, we share the heart behind the More Than Roommates Podcast and the reason why we created this podcast. Our passion is to see couples break out of ruts, stop settling for “good enough,” and become so much more than just roommates with each other.

Welcome to More Than Roommates, where we want to help you take the next step to be more intentional in your marriage. We want to help you avoid falling into the trap of being merely roommates with your spouse. We hope that through authentic, biblical, and practical conversation you will gain tools and wisdom to help you take one step closer to the Lord and the marriage He intends for you and your spouse. Listen in as Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, and Derek Davidson help you intentionally strengthen your relationship.