Day 3 is here and we have our first guest curator of the 31 Days of Howling Beast. Jeffery X Martin has been tasked to cover The Beast That Killed Women. Not much of a plot here. There’s a gorilla who’s attacking young nudists in Florida. Police are baffled, tops are non existent…….you get the gist. This is just the first of many guests on this run but this one is pretty great. The post 31 Days of Howling Beasts Day 3 : The Beast That Killed Women (1965) first appeared on Legion.

What happens when the saddest priest in the world takes on the Devil himself, who has taken the form of a king cobra? Join your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema, X and Cootie, as they sink their fangs into the 1981 movie Jaws of Satan! This movie happened! Hear Mark Ball pick up the Landline of the Damned! Hear Chef Al reveal the identity of one of his first celebrity crushes! Hear Cootie and X get drunk and spoil this movie from Hell to breakfast! All your favorite segments are here, and so are the ones you don’t like! [Sorry, kids. We’ve got a format and we’re sticking to it.] Let Kiss the Goat slither into your earholes and make monkey noises! Your hashtag for this episode: #PrettyPrettySnakeCave The post Kiss the Goat Episode 58: Jaws of Satan (1981) first appeared on Legion.

It’s banana bread and bloodletting in the Bible Belt on this episode of Kiss the Goat as X and Cootie take a long look at the 2010 movie, The Last Exorcism! Cootie and X take a deep dive into the film and talk frankly about their experiences in charismatic churches, the efficacy of exorcisms, and that movie’s controversial and divisive ending. X and Cootie attempt to follow a banana bread recipe straight from the movie, because why wouldn’t they? Chillerpop creator Rolph Picler answers the Landline of the Damned! Allan McPherson returns to the dark fold with a Recipe from Hell! Cootie and X drink! They answer your questions! They crawl on their bellies like a reptile! [This episode is two and a half hours long! What were we thinking?] Anoint your earholes with some sweet oil and hallelujah this episode right up into your Amen Corner! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 57: The Last Exorcism (2010) first appeared on Legion.

Celebrate Cootie’s birthday with this humongous, jam-packed episode in which X and Cootie discuss Mausoleum 1983, the winner of the Acolyte’s Choice listening poll! What’s not to love about demonic breasts? Long-time friend of the show Allan McPherson reveals his workout regimen when he answers the call of the void on the Landline of the Damned! Cootie answers questions from listeners! Bloopers! Birthday wishes for our High Priestess! Learn about Cootie and X’s second date and find out what X got Cootie for her birthday! [Hint: it’s large and girthy.] Prepare yourself for slurred words, foul language, and generally bad ideas on this extra-super-shiny-special episode of Kiss the Goat! Stick it in your ears… and rip the knob off! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 56: Mausoleum 1983 first appeared on Legion.

It’s a birthday celebration at the Online Shrine of Satanic Cinema as Cootie and X discuss William Girdler’s Native American sort-of-but-not-really possession movie, The Manitou. What did Mistress Stephanie give X for his birthday? Not that. No, not that either. You’ll just have to listen and find out. Also: an experiment in demonic possession for movie fans, Gary Hill of the Cinema Beef Podcast picks up the Landline of the Damned, and X and Cootie finally discuss the Conjureverse! Hashtag this episode #NeckBaby4Life! Ram this episode into your earholes and let the entertainment splooge out! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 55: The Manitou (1978) first appeared on Legion.

On this stultifying episode of Kiss the Goat, your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema, X and Cootie (respectively) undergo The Rite 2011 in which Sir Anthony Hopkins bitch-slaps a five-year-old girl and laughs about it! Host of Hello! This is the Doomed Show Richard Glenn Schmidt picks up the Landline of the Damned and discovers the calls are coming from OUTSIDE THE HOUSE! Also: Who could kill a child? A Sri Lankan exorcist, that’s who! Push your boundaries with this episode’s Grandmaster Challenge during Drinking With the Devil! Plus: who makes better goat noises– Cootie or X? It’s all here waiting to submerge itself in the delicious moistness of your earholes on Kiss the Goat! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 54: The Rite 2011 first appeared on Legion.

In this thrilling episode of Kiss the Goat, Cootie and X examine Mario Bava’s movie from the early 1970s, Lisa and the Devil. Is it really a Devil flick or just another freakin’ reincarnation movie? Plus: another surprising appearance by Allida Valli, Rae Tysun and Persphone Agàpe take the call during the Number of the Geeks segment, and does Satan electrocute meth users? Get all this infotainment and answers to more of the Acolytes’ burning questions in the latest installment of Ask the Goat! Insert Show A into Earhole B and let the madness of Kiss the Goat slowly seep into your headbrain! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 53: Lisa and the Devil first appeared on Legion.

On this episode of Kiss the Goat, Cootie and X take a mortified look at Alberto De Martino’s possession movie THE ANTICHRIST 1974. This film features multiple exorcisms, bad table manners and heavily implied goat kissing! Also: a super special secret guest (okay, it’s Jamie J. Sammons) picks up the phone during the Number of the Geeks segment and — at last — it’s the triumphant return of Ask the Goat! We don’t think you’re ready for this hell-y, but please stick this show right into your hungry ears and let the weirdness seep into your headbrain! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 52: The Antichrist 1974 first appeared on Legion.

For this episode of Kiss the Goat, Cootie and X watched the 1978 programmer, THE EVIL, starring Andrew Prine’s magnificent pants. Less than an hour later, they had forgotten the chronological order of the events in the movie. Does it matter? Probably not. They still recorded a whole show about it. Plus: Ray and Seph answer the Number of the Geeks, the 1970s was a great decade for flammability and Satan can’t get laid! By the way, do you have a moment for us to tell you about the shining glory of the majestic pants of Andrew Prine? Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 51: The Evil first appeared on Legion.

On this episode of Kiss the Goat, X and Cootie sink their teeth into William Friedkin’s heartwarming coming-of-age tale, The Exorcist. Plus: Cootie and X make a phone call, Drinking With the Devil and where exactly is Washington, D.C.? Pull up a chair, sit on the floor and gently insert this show into your earholes! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 50: The Exorcist first appeared on Legion.

At last… The Fourth Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Extravaganza! Cootie and X are podcasting from the North Pole this year, where the only hot things are Cootie and the mic. [Has the new version of Skype been wreaking havoc with you, too?] Your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema talk about the winner of the listener poll, THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES! Here’s a surprise: X is drunk! The Breaking Point! Dinner for Two with Chef Al! The return of Drinking with the Devil! Also, the telephone keeps ringing. Pull those sleigh bells outta your arse and get some festivities in your earholes! Happy Hellidays!   MUSIC NOTES Opening: KoRn — “Jingle Bells” Commentary Music Bed: Cryo Chamber — “Nightmare Music” Hidden Track: Karaoke — “Starman” [Parody lyrics by X; performed by X] Christmas Music: Christmas Music we found on YouTube Closing Music: Low — “Half-Light” We don’t own any of this music so Fair Use Act and all that. Also, hey Cryo Chamber, your music is fucking awesome and, rest assured, we don’t make a freakin’ dime off this show. Non-profit af. Holiday Song: “Don’t Show Me Your Penis for Christmas” — Cootie & X [words and music by [...] The post The Fourth Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Extravaganza first appeared on Legion.

This is it. Make no mistake where you are. Welcome to the innermost circle of Hell, and even if the punishment isn’t truly eternal, it sure feels like it. What is the final movie you watch in Hell? Take our hands and let us wander into this final darkness together. The post Kiss the Goat, Episode 49: The Final Movie You Watch In Hell first appeared on Legion.

Sometimes, the Devil wears a little black dress.   The post Kiss the Goat, Episode 48: The Fourth Movie You Watch In Hell first appeared on Legion.

The Breaking Point. At Least Ten Things I Hate About You. Buy Me A Drink. Dinner for Two. Ask Aunt Goatie. The Kiss the Goat team invite you to join them as they reach the midway point of their journey through the cinematic underworld, and here there be witches. What is The Third Movie You Watch in Hell? The post Kiss the Goat, Episode 47: The Third Movie You Watch in Hell first appeared on Legion.

The journey continues… Do you dare subject yourself to The Second Movie You Watch In Hell? Sure, you do. {Closing Music: “The Biggest Ass in the Laundromat (Shelby Mix)” music by halfdeaf/samples by DJX} The post Kiss the Goat, Episode 46: The Second Movie You Watch In Hell first appeared on Legion.

October on Kiss the Goat begins with our most shocking episode ever. And we’re only getting started. You are not ready. The post Kiss the Goat, Episode 45: The First Movie You Watch In Hell first appeared on Legion.

  We let Chef Al program the show and things went insane! Rescued from technical difficulties, recorded twice, and hours spent editing and rebuilding from the ground up, this is the episode the Universe did not want you to hear. But you know what we say here at Kiss the Goat, right? “Yes, sir, the check is in the mail.” That’s… that’s right, isn’t it? Join X, Cootie, and Chef Al as we discuss unnecessary consonants in first names, the inherent terror of voiceovers, and Sammy Davis Jr. We check in with our old buddy, Bob Larson, in our Get Your Exorcise segment. And Ask the Goat goes totally off the rails. Oh, yeah… there’s a movie, too. We talk about Messiah of Evil, written by the same folks who brought you the Howard the Duck movie. It’s bananapants insane. If your earholes are empty, be like Carrie White and plug ’em up with this episode of Kiss the Goat! The post Kiss the Goat, Episode 44: Messiah of Evil first appeared on Legion.

  Once again, the doors to your Online Shrine to Satanic Cinema swing open wide! Your High Priest and Priestess, X & Cootie, bring forth an offering of a relatively obscure Italian thriller called All the Colors of the Dark for your enjoyment. Will Edwige Fenech and Nieves Navarro escape the clutches of a horrible Satanic cult? More importantly, will they keep their clothes on? Will you be able to keep your pants on when Chef Al reveals an entire luncheon based on this movie? He calls it All the Colors of the Lunch, and it is amazing. Spoilers! An exorcism! Bad language! And hang out for the whole episode to find out how Matthew Tangen completely changed the originally planned ending! Stick it in your earholes and let your brain hear and understand! Join the Kiss the Goat Facebook group for the unedited, subtitled version of this episode’s exorcism. Visit www.kissthegoat.com for Chef Al’s full recipes and a picture of the luncheon. Great googly moogly, this show has it all! Let Grandma listen! You know. If she’s into that shit. The post Kiss the Goat, Episode 43: All the Colors of the Dark first appeared on Legion.

Welcome back to the Online Shrine of Satanic Cinema as Cootie, X, and Chef Al take a maggot-filled gander at Lucio Fulci’s absurd classic, City of the Living Dead. Dead priests! Demon zombie ghoul things! Christopher George! What else could you possibly ask for from a movie? [please don’t say logic please don’t say logic please don’t say logic] Also on this episode, fancy people perform an exorcism on Boss Nass, Chef Al actually says the word, “thalamus,” and, surprise of all surprises, Cootie and X have been hitting the rum. How does City of the Living Dead perform during Three Questions? What amazing queries did the listeners send in for Ask the Goat? What horrible song will Drunken X sing at the least appropriate time? The only way to find is to unctuously slither this show into your earholes, which are on the sides of your face, like flames. DUNWICH OR BUST!   The post Kiss the Goat Episode 42: City of the Living Dead first appeared on Legion.

It’s the crossover episode you didn’t know you wanted (and still might not)! Cootie and X join Cort and Matt for a Cinema PSYOPS/Kiss the Goat musical orgy of bad puns and adult situations! It is heresy, and we will not recant! For this momentous occasion, the gang takes a look at Alucarda, a crazy South American movie full of bloody nuns, uninspired lesbian sex, and renouncing of the Church and the Holy Mother. Listen to it now! Listen to it again three days later! Throw your phone into the air while it’s playing and celebrate Ascension Day! What would Jesus do? We don’t know. But everyone else needs to roll the stone away and insert this very special podcast into your ear tombs! The post Cinema PSYOPS Kisses the Goat: The Blasphemous Easter Episode first appeared on Legion.

Join Cootie, X, and Chef Al as they travel to 1970’s England to discuss the weird undead biker flick, PSYCHOMANIA. If you’ve never seen it, believe us: it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. You’ll also hear a fabulous Get Your Exorcize, we’ll play Three Questions, Chef Al gives us an English menu, and… toads? Don’t be a silly git! Stick this show into you earholes, which are in your face sides. Enjoy! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 40 — Psychomania first appeared on Legion.

The show you wait for all year is here! Hot diggy! Join X and Cootie in the luxury of their library as they discuss holiday traditions, myths, and legends from around the world. Co-host Al McPherson flips us a bird. Your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema break down the  holiday classic, Santa’s Slay, and X’s love and admiration of wrestling icon Bill Goldberg comes to terrifying light. You’ll hear holiday greetings from friends and Acolytes and a brand new holiday song from X! Why waste time with family and friends this holiday season? Spend Christmas with the Devil, right here on KTG. Hail Santa!     The post The Third Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Extravaganza first appeared on Legion.

Welcome to another episode of Kiss the Goat! This time around, Cootie and X try to wrap their arms around Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. Is it a Devil movie, or just a glorified BDSM show? We know the answers, and so do you. Look into your heart. You know it to be true. You’ll also get to hear a man possessed by a Muppet, a funky fresh Ask the Goat, and we’re joined by Chef Al for a recipe that straddles the line between pleasure and pain. And what do Christopher Reeve, Christopher Lambert and Linda McMahon have to do with Hellraiser? Not much, for sure, but that doesn’t keep us from talking about them! Hang on to your butts and gently insert this show into your earholes! You’ll be moderately surprised that you did. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 38: Hellraiser first appeared on Legion.

Sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to accept free movie tickets from a guy with a half-metal face. X and Cootie learn this lesson the hard way as they roll through Lamberto Bava’s 1985 goopfest, Demons, on this episode of Kiss the Goat. You’ll also get a great recipe from Allan McPherson, another wacky exorcism, and hopefully, you’ll gain a brand new respect for the glory that is Tony the Pimp . Join Cootie, X, and Al for another obscenely informational episode of KTG. Shove this into your faceholes before a helicopter comes crashing through your roof! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 37: Demons first appeared on Legion.

The 1971 grindhouse classic is back in an amazing two-disc Blu-Ray set, and Cootie and X have got it! One of them is happy about it! Guess which one? Please enjoy the new episode of KTG, complete with the new hit segment, The Devil Eats Out, with our own personal gourmand, Allan McPherson. You won’t believe what he’s created for this episode, but you might piss yourself hearing about it. Also: Ask the Goat and what happens when The Little Mermaid rises from the sea to possess a South African woman? You’ll find out in Get Your Exorcize! Take your mind off of the election sideshow with one of the funniest episodes X  and Cootie have ever manifested into being! Shove this into your earholes right away! Spread the word! Tell your friends! Tell strangers! Hail Cindy!     The post Kiss the Goat Episode 36: I Drink Your Blood first appeared on Legion.

Welcome to the triumphant return of Kiss the Goat! Well, maybe triumphant isn’t the right word. Victorious? Maybe… no.  Okay. Welcome to the audible return of Kiss the Goat! We’ve got some of the old segments you loved, some new stuff we hope you’ll really dig, and we’re taking a look at one of the most popular horror movies in recent years: The  Witch. All KINDS of stuff going in this episode, some barely controlled madness. We present it with the best of  intentions. Not for children. Not for a lot of adults, too. Fair warning. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 35: The VVitch first appeared on Legion.

Let us speak now of fallen friends and colleagues. Join us as we say goodbye to our faithful “Satan in the News” correspondent, Cindy “Sin” Fallon. Be warned: this is not an easy listen. If you are triggered by frank talk about suicide, we strongly suggest you give this one a miss. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 34 — A Night of Sin first appeared on Legion.

    Cootie and X continue their voyage through the land of Condemned Films, stopping this time in 1976 to go to prom. That’s right, it’s Brian De Palmas’s Stephen King’s “Carrie,” in all of its full-frontal, blood-soaked glory. I mean, you’ve seen “Carrie,” right? Right? Oh, dude. You’ve got to see “Carrie.” Then again, X and Cootie spoil the shit out of it on this episode, so you should probably get your priorities straight. Singing! Bleeding! Singing! It’s true. This may be the most musical episode of KTG. It may also be the longest. And also maybe the funniest. That’s arguable. Subjective. You should find out for yourself. There’s also questions, answers, quanswers, and Sin’s got Satan in the News for your ass. But don’t listen to it with your ass. Listen with your face ears! And how do you do that? Simple. PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP! I guess that should be, “plug THEM up.” Ears is plurals.   The post Kiss the Goat Episode 33: Carrie first appeared on Legion.

Drunk on a Monday? Who would dare? Why, X and Cootie would, and we’ve got the audio evidence to prove it. Once again, your gracious hosts have traveled outside their safety zone to provide you with a commentary for a classic horror film they wouldn’t get the chance to discuss otherwise. There may not be any devils in this episode’s movie, but there are lots of chainsaws. There are also a lot of bad jokes and foul language. What’s new? Please join X and Cootie as they talk all the way through “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Enjoy! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 32: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre first appeared on Legion.

Hey, what’cha doin’ tonight? Are you maybe watching EVENT HORIZON? You should watch it with X and Cootie! Tune in to the very first KTG movie commentary, as we run our fat drunk mouths all the way through this haunted spaceship classic. It’s still scary, and even better with the two of us yammering all the way through it! You won’t need eyes to listen to us talk! Cue up your DVD and go to hell! #CreepySamNeill The post Kiss the Goat Episode 31: Event Horizon (Commentary) first appeared on Legion.

  Have you ever heard of the League of Decency? Certainly not something we would normally be involved with, but for decades, they policed motion pictures even more strictly than the MPAA. They had the power to rate films “C — CONDEMNED.” What kind of movies did the LOD hate so much they felt the need to condemn them? Let’s find out! On Episode 30 of Kiss the Goat, your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema take a slight detour and start a series on the condemned films of the League of Decency, starting with Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho! There are no sacred cows on Kiss the Goat, and X & Cootie still give it the business. Also: Sin returns with a super-segment of Satan in the News, we take the Demon Test, and Cootie has an announcement concerning our web presence. We also use terrible language, put forth unpopular opinions, and make strange sounds with our bodies. Doesn’t that sound like how you want to spend two hours? It sure does to you! Lube up those ear canals and slowly ease us into them! It only hurts for a second! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 30 — Psycho (1960) first appeared on Legion.

  Episode 29 of Kiss the Goat finds your High Priest and Priestess in a fascinating place: drunk after midnight. After a few weeks of tech upgrades, X and Cootie realize they don’t remember how to run their own show. The result is barely organized chaos. Missing segments. Apologies. Wheezing laughter. All of that, plus a breakdown of Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell involving Ukranian porn stars, pieces of shit and office supplies.  Oh, and a rocking segment of Ask the Goat. No script. No filters. No clue. Welcome back to Kiss the Goat. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 29 – Drag Me To Hell first appeared on Legion.

We know you’ve missed the show, and now it comes back in the most hellish possible way. Series Two of KTG begins with The Second Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Special! Join your High Priest and Priestess of the Holidays, X and Cootie, and their Skyclad Correspondent, Sin Fallon, as they put the “mess” back in “Christmas.” Skits! Special musical guests: Hollowmen! Sin tells a North Pole story that will chill your blood! Voicemails and holiday greetings from the Acolytes in a festive session of “Ask the Goat!” Cootie and X tell the Christmas Story as only they can! And a brand new Christmas song from X himself. If this isn’t entertainment, it at least smells like it! It’s Kiss the Goat: Whether you like it or whether you don’t, learn to love it, because it’s the be(a)st thing going! The post The Second Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Special first appeared on Legion.

  Here’s another fun-sized episode for y’all. The ASK THE GOAT segment is one of the most enjoyable parts of the show for us, simply because it can get wild. Nothing is scripted or censored, and of course, we don’t have any kind of filter, so we love to answer the questions our Acolytes send us. It’s also a segment that highlights our listeners! We’ve always felt we have some of the greatest, smartest, funniest fans in the world, and this part of the show lets us interact with them in a way other shows would never allow. It’s just a lot of fun for everyone, and that makes us happy. We managed to salvage the ASK THE GOAT segment from the Great Lost Episode of the show. As we continue to put Series 2 of KTG together, we present this small section simply because it’s a hoot. Enjoy, y’all! The post Kiss the Goat – The Lost ASK THE GOAT first appeared on Legion.

  Hello, Acolytes!   Your Demonic Duo has been taking a wee bit of a break in between series of KTG, but we got a wild hair (like we do) and have come up with, well, we’ll call it a “mini-sode.” No Satan in the News, no Ask the Goat, none of the stuff you usually get to hear, BUT… This is unscripted, uncensored, barely edited and totally drunk. We think you’ll like it. The topic is Movies that Get Us in the Mood for Halloween (While Not Necessarily Being about Halloween). That’s a long fucking title, though, so we just called it “X & Cootie Get in the Mood.” Shove us into your earholes for half an hour so, won’t you? We promise not to wiggle too much. The post Kiss the Goat – X & Cootie Get in the Mood first appeared on Legion.

Hello, Acolytes. It’s been a while since a full-blown KTG episode, and I hate to leave y’all hanging without new material this long. So while we’re working on another top-notch batch of hilarious Satanic radio theater, let me give you something you just might enjoy. Back in the late spring, I got the opportunity to interview one of the founding members of Goblin, Claudio Simonetti. I was a shambling mess talking to the guy. He’s one of my musical heroes, for crying out loud, and there I was in my expensive recording studio (I mean, bedroom) in Knoxville and there was the guy who helped write the soundtracks for Deep Red and Suspiria and did the entire score for Demons by himself, for cryin’ out loud. It’s amazing I didn’t cry while speaking in tongues and shitting myself so hard, it flew up my back like a fucking solid geyser of shit. That’s gross. Sorry. I transcribed a portion of this interview for an article at Popshifter in celebration of the remastered reissue of the Demons soundtrack on Rustblade Records. The rest of it has just been sitting in my hard drive, waiting for… I don’t know. Godot. Something. So here [...] The post Kiss the Goat Bonus Episode: Interview with Claudio Simonetti first appeared on Legion.

Oh, frabjous July! Not only does this month mark Cootie’s birthday, but it’s also the one year anniversary of Kiss the Goat! Let the bells ring and the banners fly! And while you’re at it, why don’t you give a listen to this Listener’s Choice episode? The Acolytes at the Facebook group page picked 1997’s THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE for Cootie to watch, and believe us, she’s got plenty to say about it. Also: our clothing-optional Satan in the News segment, Drinking with the Devil and we answer the age-old question, “Why would a man piss on his own face?” Won’t you lube up your tight little earholes and stick us into them? We promise we won’t tell your mother! WARNING: Nudity, adult language, adult situations and so many spoilers, you’ll think the show has salmonella. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 26: The Devil’s Advocate first appeared on Legion.

Welcome to Kiss the Goat! This is a momentous episode for a few reasons. It’s the product of three recording sessions, spanning two countries, resulting in a coffee-fueled twelve hour edit! It’s our 25th episode over all. It’s also our first episode on Legion Podcasts! [It’s also the episode where we learned X’s mute button doesn’t work, so apologies in advance for the strange noises. So it goes.] This time around, X and Cootie, your Demonic Duo, take a look at 1999’s Schwarzenegger apocalypse adventure, END OF DAYS. The movie gets spoiled from hell to breakfast in typical KTG style. Sin Fallon brings us “Satan in the News!” Allan McPherson drops some knowledge in our “Ask A Lapsed Catholic” segment! Plus, there’s a drinking game, a semi-literate breakdown of the film and a rousing segment of “Ask the Goat,” where X and Cootie answer listener questions! Not to mention… yeah, we discuss the interesting turn of current events. If you’re cool with full spoilers, bad language, and trigger warnings for just about everything, then why not gently ease us into your earholes and fill your head with terrible ideas? You’ll be glad you did. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 25: End of Days first appeared on Legion.

The greatest trick Hollywood ever pulled was convincing viewers that bad movies don’t exist. But they do! And in great numbers. Your Demonic Duo can prove it… they found one! And it’s a real stinker. Kim Basinger furrows her brow in the face of ultimate evil in this festering foot boil of a movie, BLESS THE CHILD. But wait! There’s more! Our Satan in the News correspondent, Sin Fallon, reports on the Charlie Charlie craze, our search for a Cathol continues and at last, Kiss the Goat takes over the world! Lock it in and rip the knob off! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 24: Bless the Child first appeared on Legion.

At some point, in 1974, some film studio execs thought it would be a great idea to make a movie involving Donald Pleasence, Joan Collins, a horny dwarf named Hercules and a demon possessed baby. To this date, no one knows why. Regardless, the movie was released in the States as THE DEVIL WITHIN HER, and your Demonic Duo is all over it, possibly spending a couple of moments under it, because why not? Also on this here epi-ma-sode: Sin’s got the news, Paul Anka goes to hell and we talk about that one goddamned episode of SOUTH PARK. It’s all right here on Kiss the Goat. Why would you kiss a goat anywhere else? The post Kiss the Goat Episode 23: The Devil Within Her first appeared on Legion.

Join your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema as they present Keanu Reeves and his Holy Shotgun taking on both Heaven and Hell in 2005’s CONSTANTINE. Full of insane action and bad theology, how will the movie bear up under the intense scrutiny of X & Cootie, and the ultimate interrogation of Three Questions? Download and stick it in yer ear to find out! Also on Episode 22: more weird musical references, a Lightning Round on Ask the Goat and how can we make KTG the Official Podcast of the State of Tennessee? This episode is a must-listen! Mostly because you can’t read it. You really HAVE to listen to it, don’t you? The post Kiss the Goat Episode 22: Constantine first appeared on Legion.

Happy Easter from Kiss the Goat! Why would a show like ours even prepare an Easter episode? Well, first of all, we’re smart-asses. Secondly, you’d be surprised how relevant a movie like TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER can be around Easter! Join Christopher Lee, a young Nastassja Kinski and us for a thorough break down of a movie that sorta breaks down by itself, anyway. All your favorite segments are here, and so is that one you don’t like. Listen to it anyway! (TRIGGER WARNING – DISCUSSION OF PEDOPHILIA) The post Kiss the Goat Episode 21: To the Devil… A Daughter first appeared on Legion.

Quantum physics? Homeless people? MOUTHWASH? By the gods, it’s all here on Episode 20 of KISS THE GOAT! Follow along as X and Cootie, your Demonic Duo, tackle one of John Carpenter’s most controversial films, PRINCE OF DARKNESS. What will your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic schlock cinema make of the Anti-God? Tune in and find out. Also: ASK THE GOAT, lots of talk about bugs, and a new segment! Tune if for MR. ROBERTSON’S NEIGHBORHOOD, where we subject ourselves to the wit and wisdom to America’s favorite crazy person, the Reverend Pat Robertson. How can you resist? YOU CAN’T. Shove this into your earholes right away! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 20: John Carpenter’s “Prince of Darkness” first appeared on Legion.

Your Demonic Duo continue their tour of Satanic Italy with 1974’s infamous EXORCIST rip-off, BEYOND THE DOOR. It’s so bad, it got sued! It’s a simple story of boy meets girl, boy helps girl escape Satanic cult, girl gets possessed by the Devil. That old chestnut. Plus: Cootie and X tackle the gritty issues of the day… like yoga… in SATAN IN THE NEWS! There’s also a quick trip to Mister Robertson’s Neighborhood. PAT Robertson, that is. It’s great fun for your ear machines, so put it at about medium volume, because we had some clipping issues on this episode, and we don’t want you to hurt yourself. But we do want you to KISS THE GOAT! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 19: Beyond the Door first appeared on Legion.

Five screenwriters. Five different titles. Four soundtrack composers. Is THE CHURCH a Satanic classic or just one hell of a mess? X and Cootie take you on a guided tour through Michele Soavi’s first feature film. Plus: the last building in Wheat, Drinking with the Devil and Fifty Shades of Whatevs! All this and more on Kiss the Goat! We jam Satano. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 18: The Church first appeared on Legion.

​It’a a movie that polarized audiences in 1971; why shouldn’t it put your Demonic Duo at odds? As controversial now as it was then, Ken Russell’s THE DEVILS is a strange mix of history and horror, garish visuals and subtle nuance. Have you seen it? It’s a rare one. Also: Ask the Goat, Satan in the News and a few words from Bolsover, England. Stick this in your earholes, set at 350 degrees and in only an hour, you’ve got a heaping helping of AWESOME. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 17: The Devils first appeared on Legion.

Cootie & X go dancing with Mr. Brownstone in this episode of Kiss the Goat! Actually, the movie on this episode takes place in a brownstone apartment building. Your Demonic Duo takes on the ultra-weirdness of 1977’s “The Sentinel.” They also announce the first Patron Saint of Kiss the Goat, which makes no sense when you read it, and even less when you hear it, but it’s lots of fun nonetheless. Mustaches! Orgasms! Catholics! Not necessarily in that order! It’s all here for you on Episode 16 of Kiss the Goat! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 16: The Sentinel first appeared on Legion.

Travel with X and Cootie, your Demonic Duo, back to the simpler times of California in the 1970’s when men were men, women were trophies and children were senior citizens. Something like that. That’s right, on this episode of Kiss the Goat, we force our way into THE BROTHERHOOD OF SATAN and are disappointed to learn they’re not even Freemasons! Plus: Satan in the News, Drinking with the Devil makes its stumbling return and all… well… four of your questions are answered in Kiss the Goat! (The screenshot X was talking about can be found at the KTG Facebook page. Join you, won’t us?) The post Kiss the Goat Episode 15: The Brotherhood of Satan first appeared on Legion.

It’s a new year, and Cootie and X are back! This time, they jump back in time to 1975 to examine THE DEVIL’S RAIN, a movie with… it has… well, the title is cool! There’s melting and scourging and an informative discussion about why Canadians can’t wear cowboy hats. Also: Three Questions, Ask the Goat and a brand new devil jam from DJ X! Golly, what more could a girl ask for? It’s 2015; let the heresy begin! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 14: The Devil’s Rain first appeared on Legion.

Remember those great old Christmas specials you used to get on television, with hoses like Andy Williams and Perry Como? This is nothing like that. It is a Very Special Episode though! There are musical guests, your kind and benevolent hosts share some of their favorite holiday memories, a movie is talked about in an unkind fashion… and a dark secret is revealed, one the will affect the entire episode, and perhaps the whole podcast for months to come. Join us, won’t you? Happy Whatever You Celebrate from X and Cootie! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 13: The First Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Special first appeared on Legion.

The Demonic Duo returns with an action-packed episode sure to have you laughing and shaking your head in disbelief and wonder. This time out, they look at 1981’s porcine horror flick, EVILSPEAK, starring Clint Howard, R.G. Armstrong and a bunch of wild boars. You’ll also get poll results, all your favorite features and a glimpse at the next episode, which may be an experiment in terror all its own. You can’t miss a show! But if you did, this is a pretty good one to start with, as long as you head back and listen to the others. SPOILERS A-GO-GO. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 12: Evilspeak first appeared on Legion.

The Season of the Witch is over, and your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Schlock Cinema are back with a demonic vengeance! This time out, they take on the 1975 movie, RACE WITH THE DEVIL! It’s a manly film, filled with men doing manly things in a manly way! Oh, and there are crazy cultists a-plenty. Also: is Monster Energy Drink really an instrument of the Devil? Cootie and X investigate! Throw in Ask the Goat, Drinking with the Devil and America’s favorite game of skill and chance, Three Questions, and you’ve got an audio program! Listen to it with your ears and feel it in your Islets of Langerhans! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 11: Race with the Devil first appeared on Legion.

How much witch could a male witch witch if a male witch could witch witch? The answer is nowhere to be found in this episode of Kiss the Goat, because that’s a silly question. What you will find, however, is a semi-coherent discussion of the 1971 film, “Simon, King of the Witches,” starring Andrew Prine. It’s the final film in the Season of the Witch series, and your Demonic Duo are all over the place. Want to find out what REALLY scares Cootie? What terrible song will X sing this time? You’ll find out when you stick this show into your earholes and flow it directly into your frontal lobe! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 10: Simon, King of the Witches first appeared on Legion.

On Episode 9 of Kiss the Goat, X and Cootie take on the 1960 classic, BLACK SUNDAY. BLACK SUNDAY wins. Cower in wonder as Cootie takes control of the show! Shiver like you might be coming down with something as X’s Southern accent comes out as the show progresses! Never before as a podcast been fraught with so much fraught, so much potential energy, so much vodka! The Demonic Duo is back… and to the left! This new episode of Kiss the Goat puts out on the first date! Shove it in your earholes! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 9: Black Sunday first appeared on Legion.

The Season of the Witch continues as X and Cootie tackle Rob Zombie’s divisive film, THE LORDS OF SALEM. Is it a masterpiece or simply masturbatory? The Demonic Duo mercilessly tear into this movie and put it on trial. Whose side are you on? Also, Satan in the News, Drinking with the Devil and the world famous Three Questions, all ready to corrupt your willing earholes on this latest episode of KISS THE GOAT! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 8: The Lords of Salem first appeared on Legion.

X and Cootie keep the party going all through October as they continue with their Season of the Witch! This time around, the Demonic Duo tackle Richard Griffin’s movie from 2010, THE DISCO EXORCIST! Also, Drinking with the Devil, new uses for Parmesan cheese and and a Satan in the News you have to hear to believe. Or not believe. That choice, dear listener, is always yours… The post Kiss the Goat Episode 7: The Disco Exorcist first appeared on Legion.

Season of the Witch kicks off on Episode 6 as your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema take a look at X’s favorite movie of all time, Dario Argento’s SUSPIRIA. It’s got more witches than you can shake a toe shoe at! Shove this installment of Kiss the Goat into your earholes and let the podcast ritual begin! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 6: Suspiria first appeared on Legion.

Just when you think you’ve got X and Cootie figured out, they flip the script like Kris Kristofferson on set with Michael Cimino. In Episode 5, your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic schlock cinema come face to face with Scott Derrickson’s “The Exorcism of Emily Rose.” It kind of fucks them up a little. If you’ve ever had questions about your benevolent hosts and why they choose to do what they do, this episode may provide some answers. Childhood traumas come to light as they debate the movie that rebooted the exorcism genre for a entire generation. No news. No drinking games. Just a serious discussion of a serious movie. Do you dare enter Episode 5 of KISS THE GOAT? Only the download numbers will tell… The post Kiss the Goat Episode 5: The Exorcism of Emily Rose first appeared on Legion.

COOTIE AND X AM WHAT ARE THE DRUNK. It’s the perfect time for them to watch the terrible thing known as NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR, universally recognized as one of the worst horror movies ever made. God and the Devil ride a train, discuss the ones that got away, and decide the eternal fate of a horrible 80’s band that only knows one song. What would you do? You can’t make a proper decision until you stick this bonus episode of KISS THE GOAT into your moist, gaping earholes and listen to your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema stomp a mudhole into this flick. Is everybody in? The ceremony is about to begin! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 4.5 (Bonus!): Night Train to Terror first appeared on Legion.

Turn the key and put it on overdrive as your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema take on an overlooked classic from the mid-Seventies, THE CAR. Also: Satan in the News and questions from the Acolytes are answered on Ask the Goat. Are you ready for some sweet James Brolin Devil car action? It’s better than “Knight Rider!” Join the Acolytes and download or stream Episode 4 of KISS THE GOAT!  Kiss it! KISS IT! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 4: The Car first appeared on Legion.

Episode 3 finds X and Cootie back in high school as they check out Greydon Clark’s wildly erratic 1977 film SATAN’S CHEERLEADERS! From the shower room to the stone altar, these girls keep it sleazy for Satan. Also: more Satan in the News and your listener questions get answered in the new segment, ‘ASK THE GOAT.’ It’s a disco inferno of demonic dementia! Shove us into your earholes and say you love Satan! Enter the soul-destroying world of demons and devils, exorcism and possession, and secret midnight rituals as your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema, X and Cootie, invite you to become their acolytes and KISS THE GOAT!  The post Kiss the Goat Episode 3: Satan’s Cheerleaders first appeared on Legion.

  Our second episode pulls us into the depravity of Spanish cinema. After the Franco regime fell, filmmakers were finally free to let loose and give their audiences all the weirdness they could handle. A prime example of this is 1978′s “Satan’s Blood,” one of the strangest Devil movies we’ve ever come across. This episode also marks the debut of our new segment, “Satan in the News!” What the devil is going on now? You’ll find out on KISS THE GOAT! The post Kiss the Goat Episode 2: Satan’s Blood first appeared on Legion.

On the first episode of Kiss the Goat, X and Cootie go back to 1968 to visit Roman Polanski’s classic, “Rosemary’s Baby.” This is real, this is really happening! It’s the movie that brought Satan into the mainstream and changed the face of film forever. But does it stand the test of time? WARNING: HERE THERE BE SPOILERS AND DIRTY, FILTHY WORDS. The post Kiss the Goat Episode 1: Rosemary’s Baby first appeared on Legion.