Yes, for maybe a decade now we at KITM have been kind of obsessed. Our entire focus is, it would seem, one name, over and over. You’d think that name was the only one we know... but not today.  Last night, Tracy Chapman made the ‘80’s great again. And Céline Dion. And, OK, we should mention Taylor Swift once more. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin try to make it feel like a normal Monday. Oh, and another guy we talk about, Donald Trump, is ahead in the polls… But what does that really mean anyway? Quality polls have Donald in the lead by only a little bit…  Then there’s Joe Biden’s blowout win! …against Dean Phillips and… Marianne Williamson. Sure, turnout was a bit low, but that’s not the point! The point is, a lot of women hate Trump. And union members. Trump’s going to be convicted, and doesn’t that matter? And, the Mooch says he’ll be low on money! And twenty-five historians agree that if Salmon P. Chase were still Chief Justice, things would be a lot different for TFFG, you bet! Even E. J. Dionne, Jr. believes Trump should be off the ballot… not ahead in the polls… As we whistle through this graveyard, let the Keith Number, or even the Armando Number help cheer our tune.  J.D. Vance hustled the Overton window down the field quite a way before being tackled by George Stephanopoulos on Sunday. Democrats are having trouble even taking George Santos’ seat, because of Great Neck, New York’s fear of Mexican caravans. That is why House Gops would never accept a border deal, no matter how good it was, how much they got out of it, or who wrote it. At least a couple of Republicans have been inconvenienced lately.  Nancy Mace is an awful representative, but a terrible manager. Ted Cruz needs a security detail to keep the hoi polloi away from him when he vacations in Cancun.

Okay, campers, rise and shine — and don't forget your booties 'cause it's coooooold out there today! Wait, it’s not so bad this year… Maybe that’s a symbol we’re turning a corner, a new Spring of understanding, empathy, a blossoming of… Or, global warming. Either way, you know David Waldman and KITM will always return. When the FBI searched Mar-a-Lago, staff tried the “That locked door behind the dresser? Oh, that’s nothing.” gambit, and it worked. That was some Obi Wan move by Trump valet Walt Nauta, who, like his boss, usually works his magic via blackmail. (And by “magic”, I mean “sexual assault”.) For Donald Trump, the only true friend is a well-blackmailed friend. Bribery only works in the short term. Christopher Steele found plenty of evidence of both, and Trump’s lawsuit against him has been thrown out.  MAGA followers flourish like mushrooms, kept in the dark and fed bullshit… It is amazing to witness their first glimpse of sunlight. Anti-LGBT in the streets, enthusiast in the sheets Bridget Ziegler did sometimes object to her husband Christian’s values. Arizona Gops are tired of endless vote recounts and are proposing that they just win from now on. Meanwhile in federal governing, Republicans find that the best way to get anything done is to have Democrats do it. A U.S. tech mogul used nonprofits to sow Chinese propaganda, when there were probably cheaper methods available.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin start the month off right, or more or less “left”, which is a pretty good place to start. Our top news story for today: Taylor Swift, or as I call her, “Tay-Tay”, because of her Japan-Nevada Superbowl body double... It is tough coming up with better/worse conspiracies than the ones MAGA have. Those folks would be pretty hilarious if some of them weren’t killing people. Not only with beheadings either, but drownings have been becoming popular recently. As long as he can cash a check, Greg Abbott will be a genocider. All Abbott needs to remember is the difference between a “caravan” and a “convoy”, and “military-aged” and “tomato picking-aged” men. An Indiana state representative didn’t know the difference between opening up his coat and opening up his pants when consoling high school students, not that there would be much difference as far as he was concerned. Dotard Donald Trump isn’t aware that he lost $83.3 million recently, but frankly, with MAGA he will never need to be. Jefferson Davis was allowed to eventually retire to his New Orleans Mar-a-Lago, but then again Jeff still had friends. Nikkki Haley used to be Donald’s friend… then again maybe she still is, it’s hard to tell. Some people will say anything. For instance: “President Biden will win re-election by a thin margin with an average voter turnout” (Someone was PAID to say that.) 51% say a Trump conviction would affect their vote, how many of them would then say “the court was rigged”? Perhaps 100% of those who want to say that. (100% of all polls should have the Keith Number attached) That said, if you like good Biden news, they have good Biden news. The real important numbers always follow a dollar sign though, and those numbers look bad for TFFG.

It’s Wednesday! Not a post-primary Wednesday, but aren’t they all post-primary Wednesdays from now on? Not if Greg Dworkin has anything to say about it, and he has a lot to say about it to David Waldman on today’s KITM.   First — MAGA goes full incel by Taylor Swift-boating the Superbowl, the Music Industry, Americana, love and all that is good in the world. Many great men, tears in their eyes, reassured Donald that he’s at least twice as F’-able as Taylor.   But I digress. Back to very stable genius Donald Trump and the Republican primary. The primary seems to be wrapped up, but should TFFG get wrapped up in either court cases or a straitjacket, old pal Nikkki Haley will be right there waiting in the wings to take over.   Trump’s Supreme Court is working overtime to figure a way out for their guy and themselves on the 14th Amendment issue. It would seem cut and dry, but Trump’s newest Lawyers (Bye, Alina!)  have plenty of hijinks yet to pull. Meanwhile, Trump’s House tries and tries and tries to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, or somebody, anybody really. It’s either that or a civil war, maybe both.   You think Gops are bad, you should see their constituents.  Hopefully you’ll see them before they see you. Germany is catching on, finally, to the threat everyone warned them about, yet for some reason they could Nazi coming.   Then again, over here Nancy Pelosi links pro-Palestine protesters to China and Russia and people goof on her, instead of considering that she might just have information that they don't.

I know we don’t really care about Lauren Boebert very much, but it’s funny that she moved from the 3rd district to the 4th district, and came in 5th. And this despite having some other, equally f*@k3d-up Republicans as her opponents. On the 14th Amendment front, former MT Gov. and RNC Chair Marc Racicot argues for disqualification. Meanwhile, the guy who would be disqualified is outraged that the court trying him for fraud was worried that he might still be committing fraud, and was of course correct about that. One of TFG’s favorite propaganda outfits, henceforth to be known as the “Un-American News Network,” was essentially rigging their stories about their belief that the elections were rigged. The Great Hero of the Jade Helm Resistance has imagined a new and more glorious battle for himself, which will call for Insurrection Act reform and is instigating a constitutional crisis as well. And as Joan McCarter reminds us, House Republicans intend to cap it off with a yargle bargle-level “impeachment.” It might be just a distraction from the normal work of governing that they’re used to ignoring, but this one probably won’t last long. But meanwhile, our own government doesn’t get funded, and allies feeling the heat overseas don’t get help either. Apparently, much to the delight of Hungary’s wackadoodle fascists. It’s enough to make you think all the Republicans are on (stolen) drugs. That stuff can make you bonkers!

Well, apparently there was no news this weekend other than Taylor Swift and the football guy. But Greg Dworkin was convinced that other things happened. Oh, here’s some news: Trump is terrible. I mean, just the worst. Only slightly worse than his supporters, of course. Speaking of those terrible people, they are — with no sense of irony — headed to the border in their own caravan of chaos. Meanwhile in Washington, Gop officialdom won’t take yes for an answer. Of course, if the courts say it, they won’t take no, either. We may be about to find out how not-rich Trump really is. (Let’s see if Wall Street types love him then.) And any time is a good time to find out how not-on-the-ballot he should be. And have you heard about this White House pharmacy thing? Well, there’s more! Or actually, less. I mean, seriously, they looted the place! And I’m starting to think maybe Elise Stefanik got into the fentanyl. Random other notes: the burghers of Germany turn out for anti-fascist rallies. knew that Republicans did not deserve a red wave, but skewed polls implying a red wave still did plenty of damage. Lastly: conservatives are perverts, and also, conservatives are perverts.

Today, David Waldman reveals one weird trick that will shock you, or he will read and comment on the news. Find out which on this Friday KITM! California Assembly Bill 83 is titled “Political Reform Act of 1974: contributions and expenditures by foreign-influenced business entities”, but might be better known as the “Money Out, Voters In!” bill, designed to defend democracy by closing the Citizens United loophole allowing foreign money to flood elections. Representative Jamie Raskin likes it, you should too! Mixed-up Michigan Gops don’t know where their next paycheck is coming from, but should, one way or the other, by the end of February. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that 13 Dem-held MI districts have been ordered to be redrawn. Detroit-area voters want special elections this year for 6 Senate districts, 2 years ahead of schedule. Now the U.S. Supreme Court is being asked to delay all of this until 2026. A solution for Republican chaos everywhere has been suggested in Missouri, who are proposing to allow members to challenge each other to duels, to be held at high noon in the well of their senate, clearly without consideration for their custodial staff. Nancy Mace’s plan on January 6 was to get punched in the face. This idea might be better accepted today, as more people have gotten to know her. Peter Navarro is taking his punchable face to prison for 4 months. 3-minute man Donald Trump would have finished even faster yesterday had not so many people been watching him so closely.  Trump wanted to be judged by neither judges nor juries, until he realized the alternative.  If SCOTUS are worried that there will be riots if they judge against TFFG, wait until they see what happens if they don’t.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver us to the weekend! Almost! Give us another day or two, we’ll get there! Speed demon Donald Trump kicked into high gear lately when posting about E. Jean Carroll, then Nikkki Haley. Who knows what his next sleepless night might bring? Sure, we would all want Haley to stay in the Gop primary. Donald Trump might blow a blood vessel on live TV, and Nikkki is happy to remind the whole lot of them of their recent shrinkage. Alas, we don’t pay her bills. On the other hand, New Hampshire was a good test of Joe Biden’s support, and how many Democrats can spell Robinette. Poor Ron DeSantis, still reeling from the effects of the woke mind virus, has now found it more difficult to satisfy his wife in the manner to which she has become accustomed.   C’mon Republicans, you know Kari Lake is going to wear a wire! Lindsey Graham was born wearing one. Put the two of them in a room with Matt Gaetz and you could microwave hotdogs with the radiation. Of course, today all you need is a phone and the internet, as an Alina Habba MAGA fanboy discovered. The battle between the “Original” Michigan Gop, and the “AAAA-1” Michigan Gop rages on. In other civil war news, Greg Abbott will use the “Supreme Law of Texas” against the puny Yankee army, following the orders of his party’s Commander in Chief, Donald Trump. White nationalists do prefer that Kirk Lazarus would play Othello, but otherwise are big Shakespeare fans… although they are pretty bad at quoting the lines under pressure.   Uvalde police care about what their citizens say about them, at least enough to harass them further. California is voting out “Citizens United” foreign money, with your help!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin returned to this morning’s KITM with the very latest in news and punditry. So, if you had that in the office pool, congratulations. Another primary down, (ok, the last one was a caucus) another set of losers. Ok, they’re all losers, but who’s the biggest loser this time? Some say Nikkki Haley blew it. Some say that, allowing for her lower vote total, Haley did just fine. Donald Trump begs to differ. Sure, Donald Trump can be a pretty poor loser, but he really is a horrible winner. Donald Trump shown that he does meet the criteria of his voting base, which is that his name is “Donald Trump”. This might not be enough to clinch the presidency however, in fact it could work against him in the general election. Joe Biden likes how it’s all going. More and more, so does the American public. President Joe Biden certainly has a lot more support than the generic Democrat, even when the generic Democrat has a name. The group most disappointed with last night’s results is the media invested in a horse race, who will now spend their time broadcasting fact checks to the only side who cares. You’d think that the White House pharmacy connected to Trump’s weight and health claims would be pretty hinky, and you’d be right. You would not be surprised to find out that the Oklahoma superintendent who accused teacher unions of turning public schools into Epstein Island hired the head of “Libs of TikTok” to review schoolbooks. You would guess that January 6 insurrectionists had cased the escape routes out of the Capitol well ahead of the event. You might not expect Texas to provoke a border war with the United States government, however.

It’s Tuesday! Time for David Waldman to welcome Joan McCarter to talk of many things… but first the upcoming Gop primary, as tomorrow it’ll be outgoing and what’s the fun in that? With Ron DeSantis out, where does the coveted incel gamergate vote go? Now it’s become a pulse-stopping two-person race! (But only if Donald Trump’s pulse stops.) It’s bold outsider Nikkki Haley Hare vs. the steady reliability of Tortoise Donald Trump... A Trump vs. Haley debate will require subtitles, though. Pedophile cop, rogue priest Donald Trump has already moved past the primary, all ready to remeasure the drapes and reactivate the White House sleeper cells. Journalist Barton Gellman warned us that Trump is up to something, but is now at the Brennan Center, according to his  Chatbot Journalist replacement. AI Journalists are the future, however, and really, what could go the Brennan Center, Brennan Center... Brennan Center? Virginia counties accept local militias, but who’s well-regulating who? Alina Habba attended a Covid party to come up with another delay on the E. Jean Carroll trial. Kevin McCarthy would like to point out that the Gop house still sucks without him, so there. President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are announcing their new protections for abortion, and that they aren’t done yet.

Monday, David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and KITM. Here we go again! Oh, so close! Ron DeSantis called off his presidential run in second place! What did he do wrong? Was there anything that Ron did right? In his campaign DeSantis was a cruel, stupid, egotistical authoritarian to a fault, so everyone knew his heart was in the right place, MAGA-wise. His body count was second only to the Donald’s. It’s just that with prime Trump still on the menu, who needs a meatball sub?  Well, it’s up to Nikkki Haley to… No, it’s not. It has always been Trump.  Haley will endorse Trump in a couple of weeks. Sooner or later they always bend the knee. What else can any Gop do? (At least without begging a Democrat to help them.) Well, then the media should… Except that the media is even weaker than the Gop, and also has to worry about being seen as “partisan”. Once Trump strips Nikkki and Ron’s campaigns down for parts, he will only find Christina Pushaw worth salvaging. Christina and perhaps a few bits of anti-DEI literature, if that phrase even lasts the next few months. Well-dressed Nazi Gimmetarians are still getting a terrific ROI out of classic terms, such as “furries”, and “Hispanics”. Oklahoma Republican JJ Humphrey hates those Hispanics and furries, but remains solidly pro-cockfighting. (No word yet on Humphrey’s acceptance of Hispanic furry cockfighters.)  Still, with TFFG coronation still months away, Republicans should hang tight. Donald’s decaying faster than a Cybertruck in the rustbelt. 

It’s Friday, so David Waldman packs 5 days of punditry into our two hour sack: Senate passed a short-term spending bill, Congress cleared it, by suspending the rules. Thanks goes to Democrats without whom nothing could be possible. Ecuador is letting go of its pesky democracy in order to take on the threat of the drug gangs that they had packed into leaky prisons following neighboring El Salvador letting go of its pesky democracy in order to take on the threat of the drug gangs that they had packed into leaky prisons. Their presidents are becoming dictators, but also are becoming very popular with their terrified citizenry so... Donald Trump just wishes he had a hellhole like that to campaign in. Donald is detestable, he’s demented, he’s delusional, he’s despicable, he’s deeee-plorable! Trump should check out Oklahoma, where any person who is of Hispanic descent is a terrorist and children pretending to be animals risk suspension… and impoundment. Rural counties embrace local militias to assuage their fears... or because they fear the militias? Militias there are only a minute away from becoming a primary law enforcement and military force. Don’t freak out though, it can’t happen here. Remember January 6? Good, because there are people out there trying to make that difficult. Remember COVID? Too bad, more reminders are heading your way. Remember all of the pending criminal and civil cases against Donald Trump? That’s ok, we have people out there to handle that. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that some of the Michigan Gop have voted that they are the real original Michigan Republican Party, although some others have voted that they were earlier, as if they all were competing Asian restaurants. This must make bumping into each other down in the breakroom awkward.

We are LIVE! We salute Justice Putnam, host of the West Coast Cookbook & Speakeasy, following this show on Netroots Radio, for climbing the internet pole out back and plugging us back in, or whatever he did. David Waldman’s and Greg Dworkin’s wisdom can again be enjoyed milliseconds after it occurs to them. Lovable jerks! A popular trope in fiction that has a hard time translating into real life as real jerks aren’t really lovable. The completely fictional protagonist of the television program The Apprentice, “Donald Trump” endlessly threatens to creep back into our zeitgeist. Look at us, still blabbing about him. Too bad the horrible actor (and person) playing him isn’t going away soon, probably. KITM hasn’t called it yet, but Trump has the nomination locked up. RoboTrump Ron DeSantis has been crushed, as he deserved to be. Nikkki Haley isn’t Donald’s type either.  So “Donald Trump” isn’t going away soon, but being human, he can be defeated, and President Joe Biden is just the human to do it. Meanwhile, Trump rallies have moved to courthouses.  “Billion-Dollar Lawyer” Drew Findling is long gone, though. Million-dollar lawyer Joe Tacopina has also left. Thousand-buck lawyer Boris Ephsteyn isn’t even in the right courtroom. And, it’s hard to put a price on Trump lawyer/Melania stunt double Alina Habba, who would rather be pretty than smart. Trump isn’t investing in good lawyering anyhow. He’s paying for demolition experts. In Florida, Tom Keen is headed to the House after flipping a red seat blue, while in Virginia, red counties look to militias to take them back to the 1700’s.

Quit tapping your app, David Waldman was not streaming “live” today. He is “here”, though, and as yesterday recording so that you only need to defer your punditry gratification for a short while. Now that Greg Dworkin is here also, we have to talk about the Iowa Caucus again, but only for a moment as the Gop primary quickly moves on to dumber things. Sentimental favorite Ron DeSantis got second, yet you got to hope that cute little cuss survives for a few more states. The big news is that 30% of Gop voters wouldn’t vote for Donald Trump if he was “convicted”. Weird how they don’t consider Donald’s present convictions relating to fraud, rape, and slander as counting “enough”, isn’t it? After all, even Jesus had his share of courtroom trouble, but Donald Trump promises much more smiting to avenge his followers. Republicans know exactly what Trump’s promised land will look like, and it looks like... a Trump rally. Nikkki Haley can tell you there won’t be any racism there… There never was. Too bad Donald can’t even heal himself. The US economy is like Wayde Byard, unfairly maligned, now on the comeback to becoming appreciated. Speaking of the Commonwealth of Virginia, rural militias are contemplating well-regulating a few county governments. David returns to his tour of the “Dunning School”, not some brick-and-mortar school, but William Archibald Dunning’s popular rationalization of historiographic racism still permeating educational systems around the country, including yours.

Hey, what in the Eastern Orthodox Boxing Day is this? Turns out it was nothing, just something in the intertubes that froze up, so no “live” show. However, David Waldman, cozily ensconced in KITM World Headquarters close to the warm friendly crackle of his kitchen microwave, remained undeterred and pressed on… that is, the “on” button for the recorder: Yes, there was that thing in Iowa. Ron DeSantis lost badly, Nikkki Haley lost worse, and Donald Trump didn’t even win well. When TFFG wins, it just makes him and his followers angrier and more violent, so let’s just stop that shall we? Meanwhile Trump moves on from last week’s epic court loss and tantrum, to this week’s epic court loss, and tantrums. This week could have be worse for Donald. After all, look at poor Rudy Giuliani, finding out that his double jeopardy could quinquagintuple! Well, you know what history says about the Jan. 6 Committee investigation… You wouldn’t though, if the people who want to take over education taught history. The Dunning School of thought is followed by many decedents of Civil War losers to miseducate generations of students, right up to this day. The cold couldn’t stop Joan McCarter from Skyping in to report that the dysfunctional Gop Congress achieved their first tangible accomplishment, new congressional lapel pins! (Not green. MAGA doesn’t do green.) Otherwise, it’s the same old Trump impaction as they try to squeeze out a border deal. Interim Guest House Speaker Mike Johnson has already worn out his welcome. They wouldn’t punch a guy with glasses... would they? 

It’s Monday and David Waldman leads this morning’s charge with Operation “Kagro Morning”. The underinformed won’t know what hit them. Martin Luther King Jr. Day is another holiday that is celebrated through somber reflection, which I guess most of them are supposed to be, with the possible exception of National Nothing Day tomorrow. Greg Dworkin reminds us that if it wasn’t for Connecticut hospitality Dr. King’s dream might not be as inspired. Casaba-headed reactionary Charlie Kirk was recently dismayed to discover that Martin Luther King Jr. spoke over than 30 words during his lifetime, and wasn’t the Bircher Charlie thought he was. Kirk plans to use today’s holiday to haul the Overton Window to the right, and already the lunatic line is forming to hop out. Nikkki Haley represents the lost-causers just below, waiting to catch them. In many states that window has always had a southern exposure, although few people still are aware that even Alabamans weren’t all whistling Dixie. Perhaps we are all xenophobic authoritarians? Perhaps not. Anyhow, it is gratifying to know that a lot of those who are, are becoming frostbitten today. Haley is competing with Ron DeSantis to capture just the perfect essence of losing to Donald Trump while avoiding the stench of losing to each other. One way or the other, Republicans will be falling in line… and, of course, so will Democrats. The money is already on Joe Biden heading into a possibly balmier Iowa. Trump continues to be in trouble with the law. E. Jean Carroll's attorney asks Judge Kaplan to take "robust prophylactic measures", hopefully a tennis ball and duct tape if Donald decides to “testify”. Michigan Gop operations lead the way for others across the nation. Texas Governor Greg Abbott didn’t send migrants into sub-zero temperatures this week, but rather to the bottom of the Rio Grande.  Bill Ackman lived by the sword, and dies by the Axel Springer.

Can you believe it? It’s David Waldman, KITM, and Friday, once again. Circumstances are again forcing us to learn about some other country and some other group of people... And as usual, those circumstances involve us dropping bombs on that country and those people. Today, we leaf to the back of our atlas in order to find the country of Yemen, somewhat the home of the Houthis, the latest folks in the Middle East to piss us off. Not that they don’t deserve the back of Uncle Sam’s hand, you know. Once the US had put a few boats in the area it was hard to not notice what local hooligans they were. In fact, you could consider them regular pirates. Now, some are coming out against bombing Houthis... most notably the Houthis, but also American lawmakers miffed at not receiving war room invites. Hey, who would have guessed that Donald Trump would pitch a fit on the last day of court even after being repeatedly asked/warned/told not to? EVERYBODY. Everybody. Every-F-N-body.  Trump did not “skip” campaigning in Iowa to go to court! Wherever there’s an audience, that will be where Donald is “campaigning”. E. Jean Carroll's attorney begs her judge to wise up. Even Maggie Haberman is begging everyone to wise up. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor returns us to Ottawa County Michigan, site of rampant Republican on Republican violence. Now, there is a holy war between Christian nationalists… and Christian-Nationalists.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return for a LIVE Wednesday KITM.  We’re all getting the hang of it this year! How embarrassing is it to be a Republican? Hunter Biden played with them this morning until it just became boring and sad. Soon, each House Gop will have been Speaker, as each previous member Leeeeeroy Jenkins into the maw of another spending deal talk. As Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has often told us, Republican antics in Michigan would embarrass any stooge.  In Florida it’s not so funny when they endanger and kill people. So how can the polls still be so close? Well, for one thing the media likes things close to better harvest your lovely frightened and angry clicks. Also, you know, they are just polls. It all sort of depends on what pollster you pulled them out of. Nonetheless, there aren’t enough Gops to give Nikki Haley the Republican nomination, and there… probably… is not enough MAGA to give Donald Trump the presidency. Speaking of the TFFG, polls say he shouldn’t be immune from prosecution any time in the past, present or future. More importantly, the courts seem to be agreeing. Trump and his lawyers thought they’d waltz around all those rakes in their path, yet managed to step on every single one. Now Donald Trump promises there will be hell to pay, but what Donald doesn’t yet get is that the bill is coming to him. Want to see a cool animated timeline of Donald Trump's efforts to overturn the 2020 election? How about a free one, without cool animations?

David Waldman is back, just like Tuesday! You can always rely on those two. President Joe Biden reminds us that Donald Trump is the losingest loser whoever lost, followed exclusively by Lost Cause losers who love losers and losing.  Trump is busy losing court cases this week.  Judicial Estoppel, John Stossel, Collateral Estoppel… There’s nothing Donald Trump won’t do or say  to escape the law. Dick Nixon rolled over in his grave faster than usual today as Trump tried to get a DC court to buy his absolute immunity defense. That sounds to have gone over as well as it did in NY court, and as it will in GA court. Having run out of reason, Donald falls back to terror. Judge Tanya Chutkan and Special Counsel Jack Smith have swatting attempted upon them, which was thwarted by just calling their around-the-clock bodyguards. Supervillain cosplayer Roger Stone circle jerk/brainstormed with a cop friend to assassinate Eric Swalwell and Jerry Nadler. Donald Trump wishes that the economy would crash before next Christmas. Mike Johnson and the House Gops are working hard to make all of Trump’s dreams a reality. Joan McCarter reports that the Freedom Caucus might not reach their goal of destroying the US in the next couple of weeks, but they owe it to their constituents to keep fighting. The “Freedom” Caucus’ second goal is to make certain Ukrainians lose theirs.  The Florida Republican Party has finally broken up with Christian Ziegler, so tonight he’s open to any group who might take him.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin woke up bright and early to bring us our first Monday KITM of the year! They stayed awake too!  Joe Biden delivered a stemwinder-barnburner of a speech centered on January 6, and not just for people who use “stemwinder” or “barnburner” to describe speeches. The events of January 6 are burned into the minds of millions of Americans, though yet to light a single candle in Donald Trump’s dim consciousness. Nonetheless, minions, lackies, and cult members have all been waving their gaslights hoping to earn Donald’s fleeting affection. Elise Stefanik slipped one over on Kristen Welker, which apparently isn’t so tough… On a extremely related note, Mehdi Hasan has been shoved out of MSNBC. Mitt Romney says that democracy is just so “2020”. As usual, no Democrats and few Republicans are listening to Mitt Romney. Were security heads at January 6th corrupted, incompetent, or just low-key racist? Ron DeSantis continues to fade against Trump, which is surprising as Ron is the candidate with the closest body count. Florida’s surgeon general continues to roll up the score. Nikki Haley is next into the barrel. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court will decide whether Trump should be allowed on the ballot. He shouldn’t, they know that, but what they will say is up for grabs. If Donald can’t have absolute immunity, he’ll indict everybody, which is half of what he plans to do if he does get absolute immunity. Congress has reached a deal! Of course, there are a few details to knock out.

David Waldman posits a few questions on today’s show. Questions for which careful, or even casual listeners of KITM might know the answer. For instance, what do you have to lose from taking Hydroxychloroquine? Ok, that was an easy one. What about that January 6 riot at the Capitol, bad thing or no? And, Donald Trump… Insurrectionist, or treasonous bastard? Right, again! The questions get tougher from here on out. Trump received at least $7.8M in payments from foreign governments as president. That would seem to be a violation of the Constitution... but is it? Why did everyone know the answer to that one, and yet nothing happened? Armando knows! In fact, Armando has known for years, and has told us many times, here with David, and daily as he continues to fight the good fight in the cloacae of X. Donald Trump isn’t going solo for an insanity defense on his myriad of legal cases, he’s paying lawyers to say a lot of crazy stuff as well. The main goal is to dump stupid into the gears of justice, but if any one of the SCOTUS in his pocket find anything to hang on to, that will be welcomed as well. Can anything counter Trump? That’s a great question, and if anyone has the answer, it’s these two. 

Where’d we go? Sleepyhead David Waldman clocked in late yesterday and Greg Dworkin’s Raft O’ Stories went adrift. The good news is, David’s back on schedule, and Greg has a XL boatload of polls and punditry for us today.   About those polls… Half of the world will be going to some sort of poll this year. So, a million polling prognosticators are out there with differing methodologies and rates of success. All of them had better make certain that they are paid upfront, and take their phone off the hook after their elections. Low turnout propensity young voters don’t know, don’t care, and don’t feel like it right now, maybe check them later? Nikki Haley is working tirelessly to spend a hundred million or so, specifically to lose the least to Donald Trump.   This makes no sense, unless you suppose that Nikki has read the Constitution. Donald Trump’s lawyers argue that Donald knows that Joe Biden is not president, and everyone else knows that Trump is not president, so why involve the courts? Right about now Republicans are finding the republican aspect of government inconvenient, at least the 14th ammendment.   Trump isn’t getting out of his E. Jean Carroll rape defamation civil trial. Rape nor defamation is that big a deal to his white evangelical base anyhow.   In Kentucky, former Kentucky clerk Kim Davis, who refused to grant a gay couple a marriage license has been ordered to pay an additional $260,104, which is more than she spends on Aqua Net in a year.   Multiple state Capitols have been evacuated due to mass-emailed bomb threats. It is presently much more dangerous to attend a public school.   Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and David Copperfield can’t magically escape from their past with Jeff Epstein. Alan Dershowitz thinks he’s Houdini though.

Don’t anyone go accusing me of sleeping on the job! I do the job after I sleep! Even if I choose to do my sleeping during, you know, the time when most people anticipate that I’ll be doing my job. So, that happened. But then I decided I’d better read and discuss at least an hour’s worth of material today, or we’ll start falling behind. Over in Ivy League Land, where people are used to falling behind if they don’t do their reading, we have the unfortunate case of Harvard President Claudine Gay becoming a trophy for the “anti-woke” weirdos. Worse still, the weirdos have employed a quiet “woke-ism” in leveraging various minority communities in their crusades, none of which will actually benefit those communities. Meanwhile, some are starting to notice dreadful similarities between current tactics and… Gamergate. I don’t know what’s the bigger story here: that Trump paid a guy to search out evidence of voter fraud, or that Trump paid a guy ? Now that the first few successes have opened the 14th Amendment floodgates, it’s Scott Perry’s “time in the barrel.” Rosalyn MacGregor has told us repeatedly how cuckoo-bananas the Michigan Republican Party is nowadays. And now everyone is noticing. But here’s a new angle on it, and on disinformation “Patient Zero,” Gateway Pundit. It’s almost as if the act was implied right in the name.

2024! Are you still writing “2023” on your checks? (btw, what is a “check”?) David Waldman, finally able to wear his two-button shorts on the air without copyright infringement, delivers possibly the least teeth-gnashing news day of the year. Bridget Ziegler, the anti-LGBTQ mom recorded in three-ways, is so “last year”. Let’s welcome Clarice Schillinger, the pro-COVID, anti-public school, woke-battling mom, charged with running underage drinking parties and fist fighting teens. The United Arab Emirates, like the Corleone family, have been diversifying their financial operations over the past few generations. Thomas Friedman is certain that if Palestinians had just shown that same pluck and determination as the UAE, they wouldn’t have needed those extra trillions in petrodollars to build their own little Abu Dhabi along the West Bank. Israelis meanwhile, are moving past powderizing Gaza and turning their attention back to fighting amongst themselves over which branch of government is on top. Donald Trump plans to turn his Jan. 6 trial into a ‘MAGA Freak Show’, as if there were any other kind. Later today, nearly 200 more names will be added to the Jeffrey Epstein walk of shame.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wish you all a happy LAST year! (Because we're re-running our Jan. 2, 2023 episode!) It’s not a prediction per se, but a nice objective.   2023 won’t be a good year to avoid gun deaths. New Year's Eve parties featured the usual accidental shooting deaths, and related casualties and injuries.   Not universally beloved Pope Benedict’s death might just reshape the Catholic Church, or maybe not.   Congress votes for a new speaker of the House tomorrow. Historical as always, but this time maybe a little more historical, and hopefully a little more hysterical than usual. Understudies await in the wings to rescue their party, or at least to get a chance to burn it all down. Hakeem Jeffries will receive Democratic votes, but the chances of a unity candidate are slim.   Everyone knew that Republicans did not deserve a red wave, but skewed polls implying a red wave still did plenty of damage. Hardline Elise Stefanik supporter, Elise Stefanik has had a hate-love-loooooove relationship with Donald Trump which Donald rightfully distrusts. David teams up with the New York Times to find how Stefanik’s craven opportunism might not be enough to keep her on top.

That’s it. We’ve officially run out of holidays to take off this year. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have returned for the second day in a row. Nikki Haley wasn’t about to get caught with a trick question on the cause of the Civil War. It was, however, a simple question that Nikki thought needed a trick answer. Surprised by someone who could so easily raise more than her, Lauren Boebert is working to not risk losing her grip on power without getting another handhold first. 10 inches of secret documents might not be the only thing Donald Trump is sitting on. Jack Smith has always smelled something fishy, and filed a motion in limine to obtain a pre-trial ruling regarding the admissibility of certain types of evidence at trial.  Clarence Thomas isn’t about to recuse himself on something as important as Trump’s immunity issues, at least without seeing a little something up front. There are bad arguments against the application of Section 3 of the Fourteenth Amendment against Trump. Bad arguments are all they have, but never something Gops have a problem with using. The Michigan Supreme Court doesn’t see why they should be deciding anything as long as they have a court above them to toss to. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has been telling us about the disintegration of the Michigan Republican Party for some time now. One MI fake elector regrets his actions, 15 more to go. Robin Vos demonstrates that a Republican can do wrong for his entire career and yet find himself out on the slightest principled slip.

We’re back! Greg Dworkin was rarin’ to go, rounding up happenings from the extended holiday weekend. That included a reminder that while polling a year out from the election is often worthless, it’s perhaps valuable to ask people whether a criminal conviction would change their minds about voting for Trump. So, someone did.   I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but the economy is doing a lot better than the so-called experts said it would be. But so-called experts get a lot of things wrong. For instance, they used to insist that abortion could never be “a winning issue for us.” And now “pro-life” types aren’t even sure they like guns so much! And legislators who opted to do nothing — even after Sandy Hook — now think that just maybe, they made a mistake.   Greg’s fond of reminding us that Trump is a “chaos agent.” What’s the opposite of that? A stability agent, I guess. And we’ve got a pretty good one.   All the robots at Tesla are going haywire. Not just the cars. (Or the owner.)   Moms Three Liberty continues its walk of shame. “Lordy, there are tapes” is becoming cliché, but it’s still fun to talk about. And of course, we had to revisit the Colorado Supreme Court decision, plus the denial from SCOTUS on Jack Smith’s petition, neither of which are the end of the line. There’s a lot more to say about both of these cases. But Clarence Thomas shouldn’t be among those saying it.

Travel day! We'll be back live for Eastern Orthodox Boxing Day. But for now, please enjoy this look back in our short-hop time machine! Today, David Waldman presented a limited edition KITM, offered live only to a select audience in his kitchen this morning, but now publicly available at an amazingly low price! Are Rooibos and Yerba Mate teas any good? One way to find out.  Just Security sums up the January 6th Select Committee’s final report, and The Bulwark focuses on the Trump coup’s fake elector scheme, Donald Trump claims that he has total immunity and total innocence, the MAGA mantra. Adam Schiff points out that is the one thing to remember about Jan 6. Russian weenie king Pavel Antov fell out a window and died. Pavel's co-traveler died a couple of days before. Russian plutocrats are incredibly limber and yet strangely clumsy. The Russian Foreign Minister is afraid that they might have to send their army into Ukraine if things don’t improve.  Someone made the mistake of numbering Democrats, when they could all walk through the door at the same time, like Republicans. George Santos might be Jew-ish, gay-y, rich-esque, but he’s definitely a phony.

Our Boxing Day '22 show fills in for VI Kal. Ianiuarius. KITM gave the staff the whole day off for Christmas this year, allowing us to be here all the earlier next morning for Boxing Day! The first rule of Boxing Day is you do not sing Boxing Day carols. Instead, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin of course croon only the best Christmas songs written by Jewish men, (All of them.) including that anti-nuclear annihilation ditty, “Do You Hear What I Hear?”, and the Ukrainian export, “Carol of the Bells”.  It’s also Monday, so Greg’s here to review with us all of the punditry that he has heard and seen recently. Boxing Day is big in the UK, primarily with those not freezing or starving to death. In a decade or so, survivors might look back at Brexit and appreciate it more. Over our holiday weekend, 13 people died in a blizzard in Buffalo, New York. People with a sense of humor clearly not burdened by “wokeness” vandalized more power substations and trafficked migrants to the sidewalk outside Vice President Kamala Harris' residence. Donald Trump said some Donald Trump things. Elon Musk will be remembered in the same breath as the Mona Lisa, if she was a tech bro corporate bossist troll. Why tweet when you can tusk or toot or something? The great detectives in the January 6 committee deduced the culprit, but now righting his wrongdoings are our responsibility. Dominion Voting Systems should sue Trump for defamation, but would it be worth it? Stefanie Lambert might have defamed more people for Trump than any other lawyer. TFG does not look like a shoe in for the Republican 2024 primary.  Neither does Ron DeSantis. Volodymyr Zelensky inspired with his Christmas message. Useful idiots over here would rather give up Christmas than embrace Zelensky.

Today might not be the holly-est nor jolliest, but it sure is beginning to feel a lot like the weekend. David Waldman helps us to constructively fill two more hours before we can open presents. Yesterday, Donald Trump said that he was not a crook, assuring no one on earth, although Donald did knock off one more day of being not held responsible until he can hide in a casket, which has been his sole ambition for over 70 years. The 14th amendment is not the “magical cure-all” that finishes Trump once and for all, but if law and justice can just put one dent in that plan it would be really good for America. This is a generally held Democratic goal, but could possibly become a Republican goal too if they took some time to think about it. Textualists, Originalists, Literalists, and Hypocrites might have found themselves painted into a constitutional corner this time, however. Meanwhile, Trump is connected to an absolutely perfect phone call pressuring Michigan election officials to subvert the vote. Ronna McDaniel can pack her bags now as she will be relocating under the bus for the foreseeable future. It’s a boom time to be a misinformation researcher. Manufacturers and distributors will send you research materials for free.

And, lo, David Waldman brings us good tidings of great joy, and Greg Dworkin with his Thursday Raft o’ Stories and Boatload of Punditry and Polls™. Amdt14.S3.1 is getting coverage like Luke 2:8-14 this week. SCOTUS will need more than originalism to excuse the decision 6 of them would really wish to be making. Gops would prefer that the Supreme Court would keep its nose out of Constitutional matters, and yet this case just might be the enema they’ve all needed for the last 8 years. On the other hand, most US adults approve of the Colorado Supreme Court ruling. Adults don’t include those “MAGA über alles, über alles in der Welt” types. Still, if you look at the polls, they will tell you… nothing really. Gas is cheap, though. Republicans in Congress prefer whatever lies they can get on Ukraine. You might remember Great Barrington from their crappy Barrington Declaration, but can now know them for their fake vice squad cop and his pretend Tik Tok raid looking to find racy literature in an 8th grade classroom. A Judge ordered Scott Perry to hand over 1,650 text and email records. Too bad Scott’s pardon was lost in the mail.

Great news! Greg Dworkin floated by this morning on his raft o’ stories, and managed to regale us with the latest news until we lost sight of him about a half hour later... Excellent news! The Colorado Supreme Court has ruled that Donald Trump is ineligible to run for president. David Waldman wasn’t that sure he could do a whole show on the subject, but he underestimates himself. The folks who normally hold the Constitution as gospel and vice versa, and who also remind us that the US isn’t a democracy but a republic, suddenly have a problem with this particular Constitution. It also seems that the Founding Fathers, Et Al. who couldn’t foresee a guy like Donald Trump, kind of did at that. The Colorado Supremes weren’t asleep in their law or history classes, either. SCOTUS will really earn their pay if they can fish Donald out of this one. The pro-Trumpers who applied for a National Park Service permit purposely left out any mention of what they were planning to do because they and Donald Trump really wanted it to be a surprise. The Confederate soldiers and WWIII cosplayers in attendance were a bit of a spoiler, however. On a related note, in Alabama, Tommy Tuberville finally surrendered in his war against the United States military.

On the KITM Holiday Countdown we’re running out of holidays to count down. As it is Tuesday, we did count down the minutes till David Waldman welcomed Joan McCarter, but didn’t expect her to bring many glad tidings. The Gop has no Christmas joy to send Ukraine. Germany will be permanently deploying troops for the first time since World War II. Leonard Leo will make sure Supreme Court stockings are overflowing this year, as he has in years before. Clarence Thomas will continue to ho-ho-ho for billionaires, but won’t expect anything nice from his sister. (Actually, he probably does.) The court is probably wrapping their secret Santa gift for Donald Trump as we speak. (They’ll never top the one Sandra Day O'Connor gave W.) Republicans nominate a “Democrat” to succeed George Santos, thus replacing a liar with a lie. Ever since Greg Abbott had his saw blade buoys taken away, he’s been looking for a new way to persecute migrants. Instead, he’s reaching back to the classics.

Some of you might be taking the holiday off today, but not David Waldman, and not us at KITM World Headquarters. Greg Dworkin might be lost in the Connecticut outback without his mukluks, or he might be just sleeping in, we aren’t sure. Rudy Colludy Giuliani was ordered to pay $148 million in damages to Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, whom he had defamed. Giuliani will spend the next weeks defaming them some more, which gives him something to do while waiting for his criminal cases to begin. Rudy will never apologize, but really neither has Kenneth Chesebro, Sidney Powell or Scott Hall. Now Jenna Ellis, there’s an apology, and yet still not nearly enough. Trump’s Hope Hicks 2.0, Alina Habba, demands that the Supreme Court intervene and also stay out of Trump prosecutions. Alina convinced Trump that being sanctioned a million dollars is winning. How does she do it? How does Clarence Thomas do it? Shortly after he notched the Supreme Court gig, Thomas’ fancy turned from ladies around the office to a love more profound and enduring, the devotion of a good sugar daddy.

David Waldman enters his “Friday Era” today, which counting inclusively from the Ides, would fall upon the... well, depending on the Augustus or Sextilis derivation, would… heck, politics does complicate everything, including us getting to the weekend. Sometimes things aren’t so complicated. CNN reports that a collection of raw Russian intelligence disappeared under Donald Trump, which is exactly where most would predict it would disappear. Donald lost a full 10 inches of highly classified information on the Russia Russia Russian interference on the 2016 elections, which Trump planned to declassify, but apparently just forgetting it was easier. Stochastic terrorism would be a cinch for Trump because there are so many ready to help him out for free. As Donald will tell you though, just being associated with the Trump name should be enough for anybody. Where would convicted criminal and alleged stalker Brock William Fredin be without the Trump boost?

David Waldman welcomes us to this week’s Penultimate KITM Special, which features this week’s ultimate Greg Dworkin appearance, and you can’t beat that. Jack Smith’s bold interlocutory appeal, which hopefully is the interdigitary case to finally cut through Donald Trump’s interstitial bullshit, seems a huge play but is a good bet. The Dow is surging with the Joementum of Bidenomics. Is Jerome Powell’s Fed pulling off a soft landing? Stock and Bond markets sure think so. Remember, never give your money to Republicans to handle. Reality continues to outperform vibes. That won’t matter to MAGA. Gops have no foundation for impeachment, but why worry when they only need it for a few months and everyone involved is disposable? If anyone on Team Trump isn’t a criminal already, they will be one shortly. Meanwhile, people still debate whether the Boston Tea Partiers are actually criminals or just very naughty cosplayers.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin round up the election news, the court news, and everything in between.  The Supreme Court will hear a challenge to an obstruction law used on January 6th insurrectionists. It all depends on what their definition of corruption, is. Special counsel Jack Smith made a gutsy move to ask the Supreme Court to decide whether Donald Trump has absolute immunity before he spends any more time prosecuting him. It seems like a simple decision, but the Supremes could make it pretty complicated. Trump lawyers want to immediately halt, and/or immediately review any immunity decision, depending upon the immunity decision. Democrats lose some, win some with redistricting. Winning is better. Republicans do not want to talk about the Kate Cox abortion case. Everyone told Donald Trump about fake electors, now the fake electors have to tell it to the judge. Remember Jack Teixeira, the Air National Guard member who looked 12 years old, and who was trying to impress actual 12-year-olds by letting them peek at his collection of military secrets? If you are the kind of person who would read this summary you might, if you aren’t, you… would not. There are oh so many reasons to vote for Joe Biden in 2024. There are also, apparently a couple of reasons people have to not make that choice, including being as stupid AF. Perhaps voters need to be reminded that the other choice would be Donald Trump. Retired Republican members of Congress attitudes are unsurprisingly different from the idiots who used to pay their bills. Those who still need MAGA millions have to keep doing things like pretend to impeach Joe Biden, even if it means impeaching Joe Biden. Withholding funds on Ukraine might be an effective troll on Joe Biden, but Dems aren’t the only thing that might be triggered.

David Waldman never does anything halfway. Except for today. Today David is “out”, but only halfway, leaving a brand-new, recorded live, special 1-hour KITM : Donald Trump’s plan for the last 50 years has been to postpone justice for his actions until he’s dead.  So far, so good, I guess, but it would be nice if someone could find a way to hurry him along. Jack Smith just might have come up with a way to short-circuit Trump’s endless postponements of his March 4 criminal trial. On Monday, Smith asked the Supreme Court to step in to decide Trump’s presidential immunity appeal directly, and it looks as if the Supreme Court will decide on something somewhat soon. The Electronic Registration Information Center, aka ERIC was a bipartisan solution to voter fraud, until Republicans started to really dig voter fraud, and hankered for a solution that prioritized what they wanted over their depressing reality. This turns out to be exactly the thing AI is best at.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin continue our KITM Holiday Countdown. We’re halfway through one, and have only a few more to go this year! Remember Alex Jones? Yeah, he’s back on whatever Twitter is now. Can we not attend to that crap over there anymore? I will move as many links as I can to Threads or Blue Sky, but if I can’t I will try to give you a heads up, like for this one. Anyhow, we have too much other crap to deal with.  Donald Trump is blowing away his primary competition, while Joe Biden trails behind “Imaginary Dem”, “Fantasy Dem”, and oh, Santa Claus probably. The Texas abortion case undermines the rationale for abortion bans and shows how useless rationales have become for Gops. Conservatives fight against way too much, and too little, free speech at universities. MAGA might not feel the effects of inflation most, but they do affect those feelings more intensely. MAGA women want a Hallmark life, but place Mad Max votes. The House inquiry into impeaching Joe has led to a decision to inquire some more. Rudy Giuliani’s defamation trial commences. Jack Smith continues to debunk Trump lies. How do military veterans withstand being in the same room as military experts like Tommy Tuberville and Donald Trump?

What happened when the U.S. failed to prosecute an insurrectionist ex-president? Well, we already failed to prosecute Jefferson Davis, the President of the Confederacy. So, what happened? It’s a long story… which happens to be David Waldman’s specialty, especially for Friday KITMs.   It turns out even that story wasn’t long and involved enough to stand up to a full two hours of Kagro scrutiny.  So, we brought in a recorded segment from Seth Chipman, entitled “What Hamas Promises, Iranians Know Too Well”.   But wait, there’s more! Police in Nepal have detained 10 people that they say had soaked unemployed youths for huge amounts of money, to then ship them off to the Russian army.   With the defeat of Russia by the Japanese in the Russo-Japanese War, Black intellectuals in the U.S. saw that White hegemony was not invincible.   Ceci n'est pas une “beignet”? The French line up at Krispy Kreme. Is it “ennui”? “Ironie”? Or, just “yummy”?

Against all odds, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have returned for Wednesday’s KITM. (The odds were actually pretty good.) Donald Trump doesn’t sound like a guy who wants to be president, which of course he never has. Trump has always wanted to be a dictator, but this time Donald hopes to be less inept at becoming one. Kash Patel already has a truckload of jackboots ordered from Temu. Donald promised Sean Hannity that he’d use only the tip of his dictatorship this next time, but if he only had his Luger on him back in 2020, things would’ve been different. Greg assures us that there are reasons for hope in these bleak times. For one thing, there is Taylor Swift. Joe Biden may be no rizz goblin, but he makes do, at least for those who prefer data over vibes. Meanwhile, Kenneth Chesebro will take his stool on the road to pigeon for election interference investigators in Nevada and Arizona. Once a “hellraiser”, North Carolina’s Patrick McHenry looked around the House and realized that his mission had been accomplished. Kevin McCarthy can tell when he’s not wanted. Tommy Tuberville may be stupid, but no, he’s just stupid. Apparently, Israel... kind of had their world-renowned military and intelligence attention, uhm, elsewhere when partying peaceniks got massacred, which ironically... and effectively... spurred a series of the largest retaliatory strikes in the area’s history. Norman Lear, writer/director of one of my favorite (and Gen Z’s most incomprehensible) movies, Cold Turkey, has most productively filled 101 years. 

David Waldman counts down the days… and doesn’t find a lot. 2015! That’s when I signed my million-dollar contract to write summaries for KITM. (It wasn’t stipulated over what span of time we were talking.) We were heading into an election that year too, but that one was just some low stakes affair. This year is different. 2024 brings us Republican candidate Donald Trump, well known philanderer, fraudster and cad. And worse, lately Trump has been considered an “agent of chaos” who fully intends to put the dick back in dictatorship, and even the media has become concerned. Will voters be more concerned than they were in 2015? Well, pardon them if they don’t. They will also need to show $2 million up front, not the 0.6% that Rudy Giuliani paid his “secret” employees. Did anyone thank Bob Menendez for recovering 4 gold bars from a 2013 robbery? They might, had Bob divulged it. Would you believe that James Comer finally has got the goods on Joe, or Hunter, or anyone? It doesn’t matter, that’s not the point. Joan McCarter is here to report DC still sucks, mostly over in the House, but also in the Senate, where Tommy Tuberville demanded that something be done about the shameful obstruction of military promotions. At least Dick Durbin got to senate a bit. If Gops can’t figure out how to fund our nation, how do you think they are doing on Ukraine?

David Waldman picked up a new Advent calendar to help keep track of his Hallmark movies this season. We’ll make a secret Santanist out of him yet! Speaking of Christians, Florida Gop Chair Christian Ziegler, and his wife, Moms for Liberty co-founder Bridget Ziegler... like another woman very, very much, but Christian seems to also like raping, and being mean, which makes everyone sad and angry. The Zieglers and probably their (Formally?) really good friend don’t like children reading about such things… and kissing… so they take kid’s books away. Lucky for kids, a good Penguin will never let that happen! Moms for America Action invites Donald Trump to join them under the comforter. If women’s attitudes don’t shift, rural white hate-nerds will need to find someone other than “women” to have sex with. In war, those things guys get away with, they get away with a lot more. Rape has always been a weapon to choose from. Too bad Hamas exercised “the perfect deception”, and picked a bunch of anti-right hippies to attack, giving Israel no choice but to blow Palestine smithereens into much tinier pieces. At least this means job security for Israeli soldiers with autism. Estonia joins Finland in dropping an iron curtain on Russia. Georgie we hardly knew ye, but who’d want to? Sandra Day O’Connor will be in history textbooks also. Meanwhile, a Trump dictatorship is becoming increasingly inevitable. Who could ever stop him? Well, good governing would. Dick Durbin discovered that the rules aren’t there just for Republicans. Republicans hate those kinds of rules! Scott Perry did not want anybody looking at his cellphone. In retrospect, that totally makes sense.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pay their respects to, well, they’ll think of something nice to say for two hours. Donald Trump will be 100 years old midway through 2046... A lot of people did get very old waiting for Henry Kissinger to finally die, although he did give obit writers extra time to think up something positve. George Santos wants the haters to know that he still has a lot of life left in his career. Santos is probably lying, but he does have at least until Friday for his expulsion. That’s because… wait! Did someone say “legislative process”? David devotes a segment to exactly what constitutes privileged business on the House floor. Twitter is taking much too long to die. More hostages, dead and alive, will be released by Hamas today. It would be nice if it all happened more quickly, but President Joe Biden has to negotiate with Israel, and members of his own party to make things happen. Republicans want to pair border security with aid for Ukraine. That is totally unreasonable, purposely so. Great minds think alike, and Vladimir Putin thinks funneling migrants into Finland in order to weaken it and its security along the border is a fun troll. At least the dollar’s down. That’s supposed to be... good, isn’t it? And the Dow’s way up. That’s also supposed to be good!

It is the middle of the week on KITM. David Waldman is just getting into his holiday cold. Greg Dworkin is just getting out of his. George Santos says he doesn’t care about being expelled. (He’s lying.) Many in Congress have reasons why they can’t expel Santos. (They’re lying.) No lie, George will be in the history books. The House is reaching the conclusion of their Biden impeachment “inquiry”… they just haven’t “announced” it yet. Hunter Biden wants all of this in public view. David points to Powell v. McCormack, 395 U.S. 486 (1969), referring to Article III, Section 2, Clause 1 of the Constitution. If you are like me, you’re hoping for a badly animated cartoon to explain everything right about now. The economy has grown more than anyone previously estimated. 3 in 5 say that the Gop and Trump favor the wealthy and big corporations over regular folk. Unfortunately, regular folk still think everything is worse than it is. And yet, Joe’s polls are turning around. It could be because of the great job President Biden has done so far in negotiating the Israel-Hamas pause. It could be gas prices.  Bibi Netanyahu isn’t a big Biden fan, as he prefers anti-Semites. Mike Pence chose the rare normal ethical path on January 6, and it looks as if he wandered back onto the trail with his agreement to snitch on his friend Donald. Will Gops be so relieved to see the Trump train careen off the trestle, that they will slide over to Nikki Haley? Will Donald take Nikki’s mojo by making Nikki VP? Or should Haley wait until someone better comes along? The Georgia Bureau of Investigation released 400 pages of not-so-much on the Coffee County caper. It almost makes one nostalgic for big dummies Rick Perry and George W. Bush.

It’s Giving Tuesday today. Remember, money won’t bring you happiness, but only pennies a day can help David Waldman become quite cheerful. Won’t you help? Joan McCarter was unable to pop in today, but don’t worry, the government is still going to hell. Donald Trump hopes to use the insurrection act to send the military into cities in order to quell Democrats and democracy. Presidents don’t usually want to be the guy who sent tanks rolling down Main Street. Of course, Donald has always wanted to be that guy. Is Tommy Tuberville smart enough to block military confirmations in order to aid Trump? Absolutely not, but still... Trump can’t tell his BS from Russian BS, because why would he bother? He’s got people to sort that out. If Trump wasn't an officer of the United States, why wasn’t security called to escort him out of that office? Mike Pence almost forgot his oath of office on January 6th, until his son reminded him. Pence is now the top official to have spoken to Jack Smith. You know, Mike didn’t mean to put that comma in his book, and you know Jack Smith would catch that detail. Ron DeSantis assures everyone that he can lose to Donald Trump just fine, even without Nikki Haley’s donors, but without Ron in power the Florida surgeon general will have difficulty double dipping in his state.

David Waldman isn’t about to let us go into this weekend uninformed, even if today is in the middle of that weekend. When holiday shopping don’t… Actually, never, ever trust a Republican to save you money. Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July, Halloween, Talk Like a Pirate Day, are all holidays to be concerned about having an AR-15 aimed at you. The recent Louisville bank mass shooter shot people to show how easy it was for someone like him to shoot people. Some guy killed a guy for blocking his stroller, and recorded it on his camera. Remember that Beavercreek, Ohio Walmart where a Black guy was killed by police for carrying a toy gun in the toy department? Now, a mass shooter thought that same Walmart would be the best place to shoot some Black people. You don’t need to shoot masses of people to enrage the Irish, it turns out that they draw the line at just hurting children. Imagine a central income distribution institution...It’s easy if you try, but also easy to imagine some pitfalls. The Pennsylvania school board ousted after it banned books, Pride flags and transgender athletes tried to slip a quick $700,000 into the pocket of a Superintendent friend of theirs. Local voters, however, are not his friends. If Marjorie Traitor Greene and Mike Lee keep up their stupid Jan 6 hooha, people might start to lose respect for them. Precedent is seen as only a temporary hurdle by the Trump Supreme Court. Reality is seen as only a temporary hurdle by Donald Trump. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reveals another reason not to vote in MAGA candidates, as wingnuts do tend to appoint even wingnuttier functionaries. 

Happy T-Day! We did it live, despite it all, because we had to bring you the BREAKING NEWS… that wingnuts were freaked out about some people who went to a KISS concert and crashed their car! Then, it was on to our favorite trend: newspapers becoming willing to print that Trump is crazy. Also worth noting: other politicians in the world are similarly crazy, and are said to have “won elective office.” Today in Every Republican Accusation is a Confession™ news: Harlan Crow’s brother is a super-perv.* (*Allegedly.) One of the many right-wing nudnik partners in the infamous Trump 2025 “plan” has been collecting beaucoup bucks from ostensibly liberal sources. In TFG courtroom news: Trump is throwing everything his lawyers can think of into a firehose of motions to dismiss. And in a shocking development, it turns out that Trump does have some lawyers who can put on a decent show. In appellate court, anyway. What’s that like?

Happy Food Prep Day! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin lay down their spatulas to dish up some news. Everyone should be thankful that Fox News isn’t in charge of their Thanksgiving budget.  Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade promises to be a Nonbinary and Transgender Extravaganza — plus featured guests Bell Biv DeVoe, Brandy, U.S. Olympic silver medalist Jordan Chiles and the legendary Radio City Rockettes! The giant Stephen Miller balloon has been cancelled, however. Steve KG Bannon says, No! You’re the fascists! Donald Trump adds that to the list of vermin he will need to annihilate. The press wonder what that means for “Trump vs. Biden ‘24” ™ The Wisconsin supreme court may strike down legislative maps to end Republican dominance. Democrats have made gains in many elections this year. Republicans will need to move quickly to make none of that matter. President Joe Biden is thankful for the success of the US-lead deal to release 50 hostages from Hamas. No matter how many are backing the deal, it isn’t over until those hostages are back home. Meanwhile, their families continue to wait. Of course, it is not as simple as that. The families of the hostages are spurring anger for caring about their families too much. Here and around the world the “kidnapped” poster feuds rage on. Iranians have become desensitized to the question of Palestine.

The crew here at KITM World Headquarters has been working hard to look busy as we head into our mid-week holiday. Good thing Joan McCarter is here to distract David Waldman with the latest DC news. Israel and Hamas indicate they are heading towards a deal. Of course, one person’s ceasefire might be another’s unconditional surrender. Even inside Israel, someone willing to do anything to rescue a family member can be seen as a traitor to their country. As Donald Trump becomes worse, so does America, so then who wouldn’t expect Republicans to try to keep up? (Gops know better now, but they knew better then too.) Now that the government is funded, the next item on the Republican House agenda is getting rid of their Speaker for allowing the government to become funded. Meanwhile the Senate will be addressing aid to Ukraine. Tommy Tuberville dimly realizes the hole he’s in, and hopes that someone figures out a way to get him out. A ‘faith-based’ leader of Moms for Liberty in Philly turns out to be a registered sex offender! 

As he did yesterday for today David Waldman preps us today for tomorrow. We’ll make do for Sunday. TikTok influencer Osama Bin Laden went viral this week with a pretty on-brand “Letter to America”. Does this mean that our youths now think it’s “cool” and “hip” to be antisemitic terrorists?  No, it does not. Unfortunately, it might start a couple on that path, as the most susceptible follow their ignorant bliss/rage down an exponentially reinforcing algorithm echo chamber, passed to them by the invisible hand of the free market. An hour of Google and ten minutes of typing made internal decapitant Marlene Bourne a Fox News superstar, gaining and forfeiting hundreds of millions of dollars for thousands of people.  The Gop Congress can’t become too stupid for their constituency. However, it is possible for them to not become stupid enough. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor points out the pitfalls in electing Rightwing nut-balls to positions of authority. Ottawa County Michigan’s incoming wingnuts thought that the wholesale elimination of political enemies would be easier than it turned out to be. If you want your peace protest to be peaceful, yet irritating as heck, check out the Arab Resource and Organizing Center’s work on the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge. That’s not Frank Zappa! It’s Steve Sittig with a report on Donald Trump’s already quite successful plan to bamboozle the news media on where he stands with abortion. It’s where Trump stands on anything… wherever it gets him the most.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here with another KITM. No one can explain exactly why they do it, but it works really well for the rest of us.  If you see ghost busses in your neighborhood, who you gonna call...Clay Higgins? That's what happens when you elect online trolls to Congress. Chip Roy looked at the Republican party and finds nothing of interest. Marjorie Traitor Greene looked at Republican crotches and has come to a similar conclusion. They could be right. When the going got tough yesterday, the Gops got going. Like Donald Trump, they talk really big, and act really small. Before they ran away, the House Ethics Committee did leave a negative review of George Santos. This hurt George’s feelings, so he promised not to hang out with those guys anymore. (He’s probably lying.) If you are a crazy moron under the influence of other crazy morons, is that a good legal defense? Look it up! In front of the DNC headquarters, protesters assault and get assaulted for peace. Israeli forces shoot people right in the hospital. Speaking of AR-15s, the Washington Post assembled a comprehensive multi-media article on exactly what they are capable of. If TFFG is elected president and then he’s disqualified from being president, it would be pretty frustrating. Right now, Trump lawyers don’t feel the love in New York and don’t want to do the trial anymore. Meanwhile, two or three universes over, President Joe Biden continues presidenting with perfect competence. It’s still the pandemic, stupid. It’s also the economy too. but the messaging shouldn’t be just for the smart people. What’s weird is that only 77% of Jewish voters are wise to Trump.

Greg Dworkin was back today, and as usual, he had a whole slew of stories to share. There was, of course, TFG’s descent into the darkest fascistic rhetoric (reminiscent of Mussolini more so than Hitler, ackshully), all in service of Stephen Miller’s evil immigration fantasies and his own greedy desire for power without restraint. Critics say this may not be wonderful. And if that’s not bad enough, he also continues to dare the judges in his cases to rein him in. Polls! Who needs ‘em? Well, a year out from the election, you probably don’t. We have results from the off-year elections, though. And they may be telling us that the thing Republicans thought would work for them the way abortion actually worked for us… didn’t work for them. But they might have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids! Not that Republicans are suddenly going to let the results of elections stop them. Let’s you and him fight! And also, you and him! Why didn’t the right-wing challenge to affirmative action generate the same intensity of backlash that the right-wing challenge to abortion and reproductive rights did? Of course, neither Nancy Mace doesn’t know whether to spray paint anti-MAGA or anti-”moderate” graffiti on her own sidewalk these days. Rudy Colludy[‘s collaborators are being] charged with treason! Every Republican accusation is a confession™: The Burisma edition. How do you get a cease fire as between an immovable object and and irresistible force?

It’s Tuesday, time for David Waldman to welcome Joan McCarter to KITM. Also about time for a government shutdown, an almost as regular occurrence.  MAGA Mike Johnson’s plan to avoid shutdown is generally less awful than it is awful to MAGA, and it sure beats a shutdown, so Democrats will probably get it done for him. The House Gops are even pulling back on their Mayorkas impeachment stunt, for now. Or, at least they pulled Marjorie Traitor Greene off it for a moment.  The Supreme Court has adopted a code of ethics, which they claim to have always had, and which they themselves will police, which everyone knows they never have. Meanwhile, while Donald Trump basks in the glow of smiling New York faces, in Georgia his ex-minions cheerfully recounted those good times back when they were taking over the United States. The Pastor indicted with Trump won’t be taking a plea deal, as he expects the Lord will provide… parishioners to pay for it all. Ukraine is charging Rudy Colludy Giuliani’s top local colluder with treason.

David Waldman has wanted to tell you so many things over this weekend! Luckily, he has a podcast.  Greg Dworkin remains on assignment in an undisclosed location. But had he’d been here today he would have beseeched us to discuss Donald Trump’s recent, past, and continuous wackadoodletry. On veteran’s day, Commander Bone Spurs served up plans for mass deportation, Muslim bans, concentration camps and freedom cities, the usual stuff, but added an extra helping of grated Mussolini on top, by promising to exterminate Democrat vermin, or something like that. Any snowflakes who missquote will find their entire existence crushed. And that kids, is why we need another Biden vs. Trump election. That’s only what his MAGA followers require... just one more election to straighten everything out. Previously, Trump’s loyal “body guy” forged orders for a world-wide military withdrawal, out of loyalty. Mike Johnson can’t get his class to play well with each other, let alone behave in public. Marjorie Traitor Greene says Lauren Boebert picked a rough road to ho… how does that idiom go again? Anyhow, most Republicans won’t be asking Marge to give them a well-calloused hand either. In the Gop primary, Tim Scott announced that he will retire to spend more time with his girlfriend. Jacob Chansley will run for Congress, but would double his votes if he did it in makeup. Ohio Republicans decided to pick the “will of God” over the “will of the voters”, because they can’t just make up what the “will of the voters” is. The pastor indicted with Trump in Georgia realized that his pastoral duties included felonies. Certainly his Evangelical flock will soon be hearing a voice or two suggesting what they should do next. Secret Service agents protecting Joe Biden’s granddaughter opened fire amid a car break-in, but everyone, including the thieves, are ok. KITM Senior Storyteller/Correspondent  Darwin Darko presents a parable for our time concerning David (the other one) and the weakness of power.

We’ve been busy since Tuesday parsing the polls and combing over the data, but now it’s time to groove on the vibes of the election. And basically, it’s this: Everybody is sick of these wackadoodle idiots. (So sick, in fact, that even where there are elected seats all but reserved for Republicans, they still can’t win them.) The wackadoodle idiots, of course, have learned nothing whatsoever, though their consultants think they have. But those guys are just egghead coastal elites! So, let’s stay crazy! Speaking of staying crazy, it takes a special kind of crazy to buy into Lady MAGA World. And yes, some of these ladies do have that special kind of crazy. In other news, there are more 14th Amendment cases underway, challenging Trump’s ability to appear on the ballot. It’s not just Colorado. It’s also Michigan and Minnesota, for instance. Speaking of Michigan, frequent contributor Rosalyn MacGregor is back with the latest foibles of the state Gop. And new contributor Seth Chipman joined in to share the latest foibles of the California wing of the “constitutional sheriff” wackadoodles, with cameos from Jeff Sessions and John Eastman!

It’s Thursday on KITM, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin aren’t even the least bit sick of winning. Democrats are still tallying up their wins from Tuesday, right down to the small towns, local elections and school board races. It is, however, hard to separate the Dem’s big wins from the Gop’s devastating losses. Republicans are reaping a horrible ROI on their culture war. Glenn Youngkin now has a warehouse full of red fleece vests that he doesn’t know what to do with. (He might be able to unload some on JD Vance.) 5 Republicans are still brawling to come in second to Donald Trump. (It doesn’t matter to Donald, they’re all number two to him.) Now, Leroy Jenkins will yell “Viiiiveeeek Ramaswamy!” before enthusiastically dooming everyone to failure. In 1619 the first enslaved Black people arrived in Virginia. Now, 404 short years later, Del. Don Scott might become Virginia's first Black Speaker of the House. Meanwhile, over in Michigan, Gop election conspiracy loon/Chairwoman Kristina Karamo might soon lose her position, once her party closes its offices. All of this would seem to reduce the chances of TFFG becoming the next guy in office. That would be a good thing, as Donald Trump’s plan to destroy the United States just might succeed, and that would be a bad thing.

The collective sigh of relief here at KITM World Headquarters probably delayed our first local snowfall by weeks. Host David Waldman and Guest Star Greg Dworkin are here today to do whatever the opposite is of “fret” … (We might not have a word for that.)   We won. That is, we the people of the United States who care about democracy and what not. Dems romped, Gops flopped, pretty much everywhere, notably in Ohio, as voters knew Republican gaslighting by heart after seeing it being used to failure in state after state before them. Freedom and liberty continue to reign as the Buckeye State turns a new leaf. Ohio Republicans pledge to continue to fight freedom, liberty and the rights of individuals until their last breaths. Virginia won big by helping Glenn Youngkin lose big. Loudoun County of course did their state proud. Even Pennsylvania triumphed and extended their Democratic majority.   Pundits wonder if all this winning should worry Joe Biden and embolden Donald Trump, and someone continues to pay them. Someone keeps paying House Republicans also, including even Marjorie Traitor Greene. At least Marge is out there proposing some staff cuts.    Republicans understand that the biggest obstacle to their governing would be democracy, and no one is more behind that idea than Donald Trump. George Stephanopoulos would like to know where people stand on this before his interviews.   Hey, now that you’re in a good mood, isn’t it a great time to consider donating to one or more grassroots campaigns as we head into the Big One next November?

If you listen to this show, or read these summaries, you want to vote today. You don’t need David Waldman and Joan McCarter to explain why.  (We’d be happy to, though. We kind of live for this stuff.) You don’t want Republicans to take over, or for the United States to become the next Israel, do you? The present bunch of Gops are already bad enough. The government continues to teeter on the edge of their fiscal cliff while MAGA Mike’s funding ladder to nowhere hangs out over the abyss. Perhaps the Senate “maxi-bus” can be loaded just right to save them all. Unfortunately for them and us, their man with a plan is an inexperienced zealot.  Meanwhile, the Senate has a brainless zealot to contend with. It’s either the military or Tommy Tuberville, and for some reason, they are still deciding… Donald Trump’s nonexistent credibility, coherence and control were tested in court yesterday. As usual, TFFG was so awful that people thought Donald might be motivated by intelligence. Nah, he was just the same old stochastic jerk-wad.

ELECTION DAY!  ...Is tomorrow. It is, however, the day that we will be talking about today, and tomorrow, and at least for a year to come. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin can barely talk about today, because tomorrow is just all that. Tomorrow is all that important, and yet a poll has got everyone’s mind on the next election. Yes, Joe Biden is in trouble, and yet Joe Biden knows what he’s doing,,, BUT! What can Biden do? Tomorrow’s election hasn’t even happened, but those pundits sure know doom when they see it. Of course, pundits see different things every day. How about if Donald Trump gets convicted? Will that matter? Probably as much as the 91 indictments did… What about Trump’s progressive dotardism? Meh, that’s part of his brand. Well, what about Donald’s plans to establish a fascist dictatorship and jail all of his enemies dating back to junior high? Yes, Trump has been doing that for a while now, and you know there are plenty of people who wish they could do that too. Once Republicans saw direct benefits to themselves and their families in Obamacare, they quit having a problem with it. The problem is that they see themselves as victims to so many things, that virtually anything not directly beneficial to them or their family is seen as a threat.  Hate and tribalism only leads to despair. The news media won’t be of any help, because they believe hate, tribalism and lying about it are just the unchanging backdrop to their reporting. Therefore, we are told that Trump’s “credibility, coherence and control” will be tested today in his fraud trial, when everyone knows that Donald has already failed and if that were the test TFFG would be long gone. Trump’s only goal ever is to destroy all other’s credibility, coherence, and control.

David Waldman hopes to beat the rush and start saving daylight later this afternoon, but first made sure to get today’s KITM out on time.   It’s simple. Mike Johnson is a moral Christian. And if you aren’t Christian, you aren’t moral, and you just wouldn’t “get” what he and supporters need to get done in the United States. Mike’s covenant wife Kelly can counsel you on the five ways that you are naturally inferior while work is being done to codify your status. Kelly could professor at Trump University II.   Donald Trump doesn’t have much faith in our justice system to keep him out of jail, but he still feels that he has a chance to bring it down to his level for a moment. That is why he is having his smartest lawyers out there doing the dumbest things and his dumber ones picking up the tab.   Our justice system won’t be keeping Sam Bankman-Fried out of jail either.   Donald Trump let Michael Jackson babysit his kids because who the hell cares about his kids?   Remember when stupidity in politics was frowned upon? Now it takes dozens of the smartest legal minds to sidestep the nation’s dumbest Senator.

David Waldman wishes us a soulful All Souls Day, also known as… erm, Eastern Orthodox “Saturday of Souls”… Greg Dworkin has no holiday plans other than hanging out with us this morning. Not that there’s nothing to celebrate. Unions are back in a big way with the U.A.W. scoring huge wins for regular workers and a huge defeat for faux-populist demagogues.  The House finds it isn’t so easy to scrape George Santos off their shoe, and they’re stuck with Miss Congeniality, Marjorie Traitor Green as well. Ken Buck has completely run out of double-talking straight-shooting. Republicans finally had enough with pretending they don’t have a problem with Tommy Tuberville and are joining Democrats in an attempt to break through Tuberville’s anti-military blockade. At least Tommy still has Ron DeSantis behind him. Of course, Ron is a little hard to see back there. What does Mike Johnson have against banks? Mike was once a Dean of a Christian law school, but not enough people believed in it. Just wait until Christians find out their marriages don’t qualify either. The Gop plan to offset Israel funding with increasing debt and the deficit isn’t going over so well.  Healthcare activist Ady Barkan has died at 39 but made a big impression while he was here. Bobby Knight, who showed Donald Trump that some jerks just can’t lose support, has died at 83. Vlad Putin remains undead. Bibi Netanyahu might be healthy, but his days are still numbered. Boris Johnson is okay but might not pass an EEG test. RFK Jr. is no JFK Jr., but he can help kick Trump’s ass. KITM Correspondent John J. Ronald is here to help guide the Texas vote.

First of the month, middle of the week, and David Waldman is here to explain how that happened, and more! Greg Dworkin flipped over his calendar page and noticed that election day is next week. The prognostication out there is foggier than usual, but it looks as if Democrats are doing well.  Dems have two big governor races in Trump states, tough but doable. Kyrsten Sinema is at a distant third, but at least she seems to be taking Kari Lake votes. Democrats want to see Joe Biden give ‘em hell. Republicans don’t care, about anything, but least of all any reality regarding Donald Trump. Trump allies plan to make any reality just seem like a wistful dream once they are back in control. How stupid can Glenn Youngkin voters be?  We’ll find out next week. Democrats can now point to Mike Johnson as the “after” picture on what government looks like following a MAGA takeover. Mike Johnson is the kind of guy who would be sentencing Kelly Johnson to burn at the stake, back in the day. Republicans manufactured a "crisis" and now they are ready to exploit it. Of course, already a few veins have run dry. James Comer is closing his Biden impeachment probe now that the money is tapering off. Even Trump’s protection racket isn’t what it used to be.

Horrors! David Will-o'-the-Wisp Waldman, dressed as “MAGA Mike” and Joan Macabre McCarter as a “Looming Government Shutdown”, scare the bejeebers out of us for two hours. Mike Johnson is going full MAGA on Democrats, but also Senate Republicans and Ukraine with his Israel funding bill. After picking up a Bible, Mike realized the ONE THING that has caused all of the evil and suffering in the world and… could it be… Satan? Nope, it’s actually all due to women who won’t listen to their husbands… or potential husbands... or guys who should be their husband. Mike’s wife obviously knows what’s good for her, and clearly what’s wrong with you. Johnson is set to start sacrificing heretics this week. Democrats, meanwhile, still play by the rules. They just need to go deep to find and use the rules they need. Hey, what happened to that recession we were promised? Ron DeSantis claimed that he ran guns out of Florida to Israel, which is a weird, easily disprovable lie and probably illegal. Is Ron acting a little too big for his britches? Nah, Ron probably wears lifts in his britches too. West Michigan is about a step away from erecting statues to MAGA terrorists.

Boo! David “Cobweb” Waldman and Greg “Disconcerting” Dworkin treat us with a Halloween Eve KITM Special. Be safe! How hard can it be? Want to talk scary? Let’s talk Mike Johnson. The thing is, nothing scares Mike Johnson. Ask Johnson any question you want, and between the Lord and the law, Mike can find the answer he needs and make it fit. Ken Buck likes Mike’s law answers, Mike’s mom and WaPo like his Lord answers. How long will MAGA and Republicans like Johnson’s answers? Who knows, but don’t expect faith nor ethics to become major factors in their decisions. Meanwhile President Joe Biden is taking care of business, for this generation and the future’s. If Joe isn’t on the top of everyone’s list, he should be. Dean Phillips won’t beat Biden even in New Hampshire, where Biden won't be on the ballot. Of course, Malcom X has been resurrected as a White Christian Republican Troll. Glenn Youngkin cares enough about voting rights to restore voter rolls in the slowest most ineffective method anyone could come up with. Court arguments begin on blocking Trump from the presidential ballot under the ‘insurrection’ clause. Donald is spread pretty thin at the moment but will help out in any way that he can.

Today David Waldman serves up your KITM Friday Special, fresh out of our news fryolator.  Mike Johnson might not be the “unity candidate” most would have come up with, but considering his dogmatism, election denialism, misogynism, authoritarianism, provincialism, fanaticism and mass shooter boosterism, Mike maintains a comprehensive appreciation of Republicanism. Some of Mike’s best friends might not be Black, but his son, who was born less than 10 years after his wife, is.  Mike sends his hopes and prayers in the general direction of the well-regulated militia still at large somewhere in Maine. Washington DC vagrant George Santos might have somehow found the line he would have to cross to embarrass the Gop, but probably not. Marjorie Traitor Greene forced a vote on a measure censuring Rashida Tlaib but didn’t have to force Democrat Becca Balint to motion for her censure. Mo Brooks begged like a dog with tears in his eyes for a pardon for his insurrection. KITM Senior Haitian Correspondent, and President Emeritus of the KITM Fugees Fan Club, Darwin Darko can now be found on Blue Sky, and on today’s show reacting to the incredible trouble Pras Michel has found himself in, and the incredibly stupid way his previous lawyers attempted to get him out of trouble. Meanwhile, Democrats once again turn to Savior of the Senate Kyrsten Sinema in their battle to defeat Tommy Tuberville.

Here we go again. Let’s join David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and the whole KITM gang under a cloud of another mass shooting. 18 dead so far, as the shooter is still a well-regulated militia out there somewhere. Dude seems to have plenty of personal demons. Some were handed to him, most he hooked up with on his own. Tucker Carlson has been looking for him for years, but may have missed his chance for an interview. David held his first in a series of debates with wannabe podcasting kingpin Mike Johnson. Oh yes, this is the same Mike Johnson who won an election recently. Elections Mike wins are the only ones Mike approves of. Well, his elections, and You-Know-Who’s, which is how he got the job, and definitely how he plans to keep it. In the meantime, Mike has a lot on his plate, but mostly plans to go medieval on American society... however in the most sincere and reasonable way, a tactic Democrats have no defense against, lest the media frown upon their un-niceness. (As with the mass shooter killing spree, there is an Elon connection.) How about Clarence Thomas, what has Elon Musk done for him recently? Probably a lot more than forgiving a quarter million-dollar RV loan, that’s for sure. Meanwhile, Bidenomics is winning, Trump is losing, onward to tomorrow!

The Wednesday KITM can’t come soon enough today. Coast to Coast, people are demanding to know, “Who is Tom Emmer?” and “Does Tom have what it takes to pull this nation out of...” Wait… Wait. The KITM control room is contacting me to say… David Waldman and Greg Dworkin will now address the turmoil that Democrats have caused through their insensitive attitudes for their brother’s and sister’s plight... For now, the Republican House Speaker nominee will be held by a generic MAGA placeholder who they will refer to as “Mike Johnson”. The “Mike Johnson” that the Gop hopes to drag across the finish line is actually based on a real-life pro-insurrection, anti-democratic, White Christian nationalist jerk. Johnson was part of the legal muscle fighting the separation of church and state. Republicans don’t want to hear about that, they don’t want to hear about anything at the moment… Anyhow... Congratulations! Meanwhile, everyone around TFFG is flipping while the flipping’s good. Michael Cohen was a little late but is now making up for lost time. Jenna Ellis and Mark Meadows would be wise to flip now, but only time will tell if they are that wise. We say so long to the author of the first “Don’t Say Gay” law, Joe Harding. There will be a lot Harding shouldn’t say where he’s going.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present Monday’s KITM, free of any beat sweeteners, containing only their naturally occurring sugars. Jim Jordan reminds some people of a wrestler. The kind of wrestler who looked the other way when fellow wrestlers were victimized. The kind of wrestler who insurrected against the United States in 2020. But not the kind of wrestler that anyone would elect as Speaker of the House. Ruptured rudderless Republicans sure could use a leader, or even some followers right about now. Donald Trump is who they have. Now that Donald doesn’t have the Kraken, he says he never wanted her in the first place. Tom Emmer is next into the Speaker barrel. Tom is the least awful choice because Trump and Trumpers don’t like him. Billionaire Anthony Pratt, who looks like a slightly smaller Trump with a bit more B vitamins in his urine-colored hair, went on 60 Minutes Down Under to blab more on the secrets Trump blabbed to him. Remember Mike Pence? Mike couldn’t fill a Pizza Ranch if he was passing out coupons. Remember Elon Musk? How can we forget him if he doesn’t go away? Florida believes universities could be so much better if they just didn’t talk about so much stuff.

Is there a doctor Speaker in the House? Nope! Not yet. And it doesn’t look like they want to let the Acting Jerk Pro Tem take care of business for them, either. There’s certainly less appetite for Gym Jordan than ever before, too. Maybe because his people are deplorable. Meanwhile, The Current Guy was taking care of business, with what was by most reports a real humdinger of an Oval Office address. That’s no malarkey! But that’s not to say there isn’t any malarkey to be found. As we heard yesterday, the Kraken has cracked. And now she’s just flat guilty. Cheseboro’s next. In case you didn’t know, that’s bad for TFG. And it’s not just the Georgia defendants pleading out, either. How about a couple wacky stories to close out the day? Peter Thiel is a vampire FBI informant. And so is fossilized “Rage Furby” Chuck Johnson, whom I think we all thought was maybe dead or something! And speaking of the FBI, tech weirdos and clandestine-type activities, Cory Doctorow wants us to know that cops, spies and tech bros have one thing in common: they love surveillance. Lastly — and as a weekend assignment — have you ever wondered just WTF is going on with The Epoch Times?

Don’t be concerned, the Virginia/DC area is still standing this morning. That was just David Waldman and Greg Dworkin’s “Hey, Where Did the Last Half Hour Go?” KITM Special’s special ending. That missing show segment would have gotten more done than DC at the moment. The only ones who can stand the job ruptured rudderless Republicans are doing are Republicans, and what do they know? Jim Jordan is sent back to the lockers, after losing the House Speaker vote that no one ever believed that he would win, especially Jim Jordan. That was only a play for the rubes, at least the rubes who are even aware of who Jordan is. Unfortunately, rubes that smart can become pretty dangerous. Whether dangerous or uniformed, Republican rube money all spends the same.  Steve Scalise might have thought Gym was going to win there for a moment, but he has guys who take care of things. Anyhow, what would Steve do with two jobs? Kenneth Chesebro and Sidney Powell wanted a speedy trial in Georgia, and Sidney kraken both of their trials up by pleading guilty today.

Isn’t it time for Jim Jordan to just throw in the towel and hit the showers? Well... not in so many words. But that’s why we have David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. David and Greg do have so many words, which they have deftly laid end to end to create today’s KITM. Sean Hannity insists that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez somehow had the power to frighten Republicans away from voting for Jim Jordan as House Speaker, but maybe the real reason is that moderate Republicans can only squish so far before they explode. It turns out that the Hard Right might not be the saviors Elise Stefanik prayed they would be. Donald Trump rants and raves like a lunatic, because he is one. If only he wasn’t such a dangerous lunatic though. Donald knocked off a few Russians but never got Christopher Steele for that dossier. If only Trump had hidden in a few refrigerators when he was younger… Soon we might not have Vivek Ramaswamy to kick around, which is too bad, the guy seemed pretty kickable. President Joe Biden, putting out fires around the world, stopped off at hotspot Israel. The Gop’s secret to protecting gerrymandered electoral maps is to say that it is a secret. School boards have an easier time teaching about racism, as long as it is” history”.

Today on KITM, David Waldman andJoan McCarter count down the days until the government shutdown, which if Jim Jordan gets to be House Speaker will be assured, if we make it that far. Ruptured, rudderless Republicans don’t really want to go with Jordan, but that seems to be the direction that they are heading. (With their hearts and minds in tow, of course.) Gym isn’t the guy Republicans want. He isn’t the guy they need. He might not even be the one they get. But they shouldn’t expect Democrats toride to their rescue for nothing. Not that they would ask for help, as they are being told that they are winning. If news organizations need help in accurate framing, Greg Dworkin has an opinion to share. (Need a second opinion? How about another one?) President Joe Biden heads to Israel to discuss their war with Gaza. Tagging along with Joe are thousands of US troops and their military equipment... which will doubtlessly be utilized in no way that would endanger anyone or further embroil the United States in any way. Have you heard about how the amount of fentanyl confiscated at the border proves how open our borders are? Well good news! The Virginia National Guard spent $2 million and could not find a single deadly gram on their Texas field trip. First, they came for light bulbs and gas stoves, now our refrigeratormagnets won’t work anymore!

David Waldman soothes our post-Friday-the-13th jitters with his elixir of useful information. Greg Dworkin is also here with the pundits and polls, though not just any poles, but Pole polls. Opposition leader Donald Tusk... no, you read that right, Donald Tusk has declared victory in Poland, which is a defeat for Law and Justice, but a victory for the Gay Empire, women, and most everybody else. The Hamas attacks on Israel might finally, finally, finally shake Bibi Netanyahu’s authoritarian rule. OG presidential nitwit George W. Bush has some advice on how to handle the Middle East.  House Republicans remain ruptured. If anyone were hoping to destroy the country, picking Jim Jordan for House Speaker would be the no-brainer choice, perhaps the most no-brainer choice. Gym’s got Sean Hannity’s vote, but pretty much no one else would be happy if he got in. That’s why Jordan’s campaign has apparently decided that “happy” votes would not be prioritized. George Santos ran through a House office screaming, clutching a baby that he claimed wasn’t his “yet”. Scott Waldman (No, David is not my father… yet.) reports that West Virgina Governor Jim Justice’s coal baron side hustle just isn’t what it used to be. Of course, Jim’s goofy finances won’t hinder his political career, according to Mark Blankenship, who isn’t the son of Mike Lindell Doppelgänger Don Blankenship... maybe. Mike “The Pillow” Lindell is also broke, but not as broke as Peter Navarro.  U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan has told Donald Trump to stuff a pillow in it. Ex-Trump Org. Allen Weisselberg got really quiet after Forbes Magazine reported on his perjury. Plenty of damning evidence, but no charges for the Border Patrol agents who shot and killed a Native American man outside his home.

David Waldman embeds his machete of veracity into the forehead of falsity on today’s special KITM. Fascists are supposed to run their trains on time, but the MAGA crazy train crashed before it could even depart from dysfunction junction. The Gop’s hand-picked fascist Steve Scalice bailed out of the House Speaker race once he realized that his 113 votes could never beat Jim Jordan’s 99.  With Jim Jordan on his own, the speaker position is now Gym’s to lose. But what would be the chaotic fun in that? And so, Donald Trump’s wandering eye now rests upon Elise Stefanik. Proud Boys and Moonies seem like strange bedfellows, until you see how much they both enjoy wielding their “rods of iron”. Meanwhile, it seems that Senator Bob Menendez has spent the last few years building a strong defense against any accusations of there ever being a two-tiered system of justice in the US.  Wisconsin’s Republican Assembly leader, Robin Vos is still thirsty for a Janet Protasiewicz impeachment, but most Gop authoritarians have moved on to other hijinks, including gerrymandering their state into partisan archipelagos.

It’s finally here! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present our Septennial KITM October-Friday-the-13th-Eve Special! Republicans are still in rupture, eliminating much of their capacity for cruelty and fatuity. Therefore, in order to return to a more efficacious ineptitude, they chose Steve Scalice as a speaker nominee. However, being who they are, they couldn’t resist kneecapping Scalice out of the gate. Being who he is isn’t exactly helping Steve “David Duke” Scalice either. Radical White Christian nationalism isn’t a dealbreaker for Republicans, though, and neither is laying a half million-dollar steak tab on taxpayers. Nancy “Alvin” Mace shows that you can spend what you want as long as you release press handouts on your austerity. If Republicans want to get anything done (They don’t.) they can listen to what Hakeem Jeffries has to say. (They won’t.) Hamas used every means to terrorize Israel, and now things are going to become awful in Gaza, even compared to the last 75 years. As usual, President Joe Biden has had the correct response. As usual, Donald Trump is a dotard crackpot. Even Ron DeSantis (aka the “previous Nikki Haley”) is beginning to note TFFG’s latest degeneration. George Conway has a plan to make Donald crazy… Crazier? ...Craziest? Maybe even as crazy as his supporters? Those supporters made Charlie Kirk a millionaire. The Proud Boys were selling merch at the “Rod of Iron Freedom Festival” hosted by a Moonie AR-15 church. Criminal Ken Paxton says he will lodge criminal complaints against Texas state reps. If he does, their lawyers will press a criminal complaint against Paxton, and thus the cycle of life will go on.

Greg Dworkin came by to let us know that there’s no indication that House Republicans intend to rise to the occasion of the international crisis situation any time soon. But we already knew that. The order of the day, though, was for them to decide along what path they would f@#k things up next. And at least one outside group with a deep interest in the race to succeed McCarthy is speaking up, to say no to Gym Jordan. Oh, and also, Nancy Mace wanted to make sure you were looking at her. Probably sideeyed. And Tommy Tuberville… hmm, need a football analogy so he understands what I’m saying… let’s say, threw an ill-advised challenge flag. This even as he continues to screw several pooches with his… delay of game penalties. Then, there’s Israel. What a relief that we have a real president in office for this. Israel itself is not so lucky in that regard. But we don’t escape blame just because we’ve jettisoned our idiot. The international community is handling things laudably, too. Italy set off an irony meter or two, however. But it was still a nice effort. And in other, other news: One of Wisconsin’s own Republican former Supreme Court Justices says their impeachment idea is kinda wrong and dumb. And ProPublica says Leonard Leo’s ideas about the federal judiciary are, too. But it’s too late.

It’s Tuesday on KITM and whether you want it or not (and you want it) David Waldman and Joan McCarter are here to present the latest in news and opinion. Horrible things have been happening in Israel and Palestine, for Israelis and Palestinians, for quite some time now. But in the fog of war, where can you turn for valid, accurate information when even your favorite porn stars can’t be trusted? WELL NOT TWITTER. It’s no longer ethical nor sensible to share tweets anymore. Also, all the cool people have left. Cut it out. Blue checks are destroying the world, at least the bits they have contact with. Twitter has failed. Speaking of failures, look who’s trying to sneak back to work — previous interim House Speaker Kevin McCarthy! Right when Patrick McHenry was getting a feel for the gavel too. It’s only been a week but going back to Kev would feel like surrendering to the commies for MAGA. Whether Republicans are looking for MTG or AOC, Nancy Mace has got them covered. Meanwhile, Moms for Liberty is finding its talented clappers to be no match for authentic grassroots clapback. Florida is finally returning to releasing daily COVID-19 information. North Carolina Republicans are creating a “Secret Police Force”, while a St. Louis Cop sabotaged his own cases because he didn’t like the prosecutor.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin would have brought us a great Indigenous Peoples' Day show today if only the world were just a better place. Israel was just minding its own business when it should have been minding the parapets and came under lethal assault by Hamas. A devastating attack, and a seeming surprise to the world’s most threatened nation. Thousands have been killed in horrific attacks and kidnappings. Thousands more will follow as Israel blows Palestine rubble to smithereens. Hamas turned into ISIS when too much peace was breaking out. Netanyahu also bears responsibility for allowing Hamas under the Iron Dome, though TFFG might have helped pound in the wedge. Of course, a bitter blame game will follow Israel’s wartime unity. (David supplied a Blue Sky “skeet” containing a link to a paywalled site which I simply screen grabbed, sent to myself via Messenger, downloaded as a PNG, and uploaded to Threads, voilà!) Republican ruptures are making any allies hoping for US assistance sweat, so is it up to Democrats to save America and the world yet again? Hakeem Jeffries believes the time is right for bipartisanship. Matt Gaetz likes the glass half-empty, and would dump it all, even if it means his ouster. (He might have something there.) At least political scientists can have fun experimenting. Just don’t ask Alexa. She can tell you, garbage in will get you garbage out. A Trump State Department official seems to be a white nationalist content creator. Who’d a thunk?

Friday on KITM, David Waldman guides our revolution into the weekend. We know that we are in good hands this weekend, with Senator Patty Murray once again second in the presidential line of succession. House rats are eating each other alive, but a couple might make it to Monday’s Fox News. We already know that Donald Trump has presented his rose to Jim “Gym” Jordan, however. Gym can certainly keep a secret better than cardboard box magnate Anthony Pratt.  Yet, Donald tells Anthony everything, including the number of warheads carried in US submarines, and their stealth capabilities.  Mike “Pillow” Lindell owes his lawyers millions of dollars. Mr. Pillow says he’s broke, but seriously, what does he know? Yes, lunatics do hold a lot of sway at moment, but rich lunatics have always had it going on, and plan to keep it that way. Poor loonies are still doing their part to help out though, yearning to make the Empire great again and by reestablishing true palingenetic ultranationalism (None of that fascism in name only for them!).  Generic shampoo and ugly shirt magnate Charles Haywood hopes to get into the burgeoning field of warlording before our apocalypse becomes post. Companies like Apple don’t require warlords however when they have Wi-Fi.  Donald hates name-brand shampoo, when he can wash his rug for cheap.

Our roll call vote to vacate the chair at KITM World Headquarters was roundly defeated this morning by David Waldman shrewdly bringing in a box of donuts for everybody. Plus, it’s Thursday, so Greg Dworkin is here and has much to tell us about many things. Voters say Kevin McCarthy shouldn’t have been ousted and don’t believe Democrats should have saved him. That pretty much leaves Kevin and the MAGA nimrods at fault for their recent fiasco. McCarthy double-crossed friend and foe alike, therefore it was logical to assume that he would continue if given a chance. For Dems, the decision was strictly business. As for the Freedom Caucus, they were handed a bazooka, and so of course the first place they’d aim it would be their head. A head isn’t really something they would miss after all. Now, the Problem Solvers have a problem, and if moderates could find any heads, they would certainly make them roll. Mitch McConnell and Lauren Boebert agree, mistakes were made. Matt Gaetz, Nancy Mace and Steve KG Bannon on the other hand ask what could be more reasonable than asking for an occasional government collapse? At least House Republicans won’t be trying anything that stupid again any time soon… Nope, they will be much more stupid next time. There’s always room there for more stupid. 2000 Mules finally goes to court, after doing as much damage as it could. Along the Texas border, counties are trying to make it illegal to even travel on their roads on the way to get an abortion. Idaho banned abortion, and it’s not a big supporter of pregnancy or births either. As news gets worse and worse for Bob Menendez, New Jersey’s first lady Tammy Murphy is popping up as a potential successor.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin know best how to handle a slow news day, and ones like today as well. Make a nice cobb salad from that head of lettuce. Republican House Speaker Kevin McCarthy was way more interim than he imagined. Subletting his soul to many, while just subbing for the rest only worked for Kev for a while. Democrats could not trust him, and Donald Trump was bored. So, now the search is on for that elusive bottom from the top replacement. Good luck finding someone that pathetic... For now, they have Patrick McHenry, a guy who seems to be everything he looks like. That snippy little toy-congressman from North Carolina is busy today chasing Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer out of his new offices, while his House sets up for their Lord of the Flies denouement. If Republicans really don’t want a leader, then Donald Trump is just the guy for the job. The Right are searching for their Red Caesar, but while Donald does have the look down, TFFG has moved well past that tiny ambition. Far-right sheriffs just might require a monarch, seeing that puny states are unable to control them anymore. The new communications chief at New College of Florida is out after just 2 months because New College isn’t interested in communicating. Up north where it’s sane, Canada’s House of Commons elected its first Black speaker.

If you thought David Waldman addressed all of the news that could possibly have been addressed on Monday, you would be correct. But the thing is, it’s Tuesday now. Our federal government has averted another shutdown and now we all will live happily ever after... Joan McCarter thinks perhaps not, as it is about 45 days, give or take a vacation break or two, before Republicans again have an opportunity to drag us off the cliff. Next time we might not have Kevin McCarthy to kick around anymore, or at least Kevin will have been kicked around several times by then. When Matt Gaetz signed up to burn it all down, he meant to burn it all down. Will the Democrats bring fire extinguishers or marshmallows?  Donald Trump thinks his fraud trial is a scam, so of course he is hoping to get a piece of the action. Trump’s attorney Alina Habba forgot to mark the blank to get Trump a jury trial, so as punishment she has to sit right next to him for a few days. Alina Habba… how does she do it?  Kari “yesterday’s news” Lake will have to work extra hard to keep Donald’s attention. Luckily for Kari, Trump still wants to win the 2020 election in Arizona. Clarence Thomas tossed out a recusal to throw the hounds off his scent in his escape from years of ethics charges. If only new temptations didn’t keep coming his way… Meanwhile, President Joe Biden announces $1.4 billion to improve rail safety and boost capacity in 35 states. That’s enough to make some Republicans act like progressive Democrats. Of course, their underlying motivations may differ...

Today, David “Sweet Potato” Waldman and Greg “Pumpkin Seed” Dworkin deliver a KITM cornucopia overflowing with news, punditry and leaf-blower roar. Well, the United States is still here today. Even Kevin McCarthy is here for a while as the Nutjob Caucus hasn’t yet worked out a deal with Democrats to oust him. Of course, McCarthy wouldn’t still be here without Democratic benevolence. Republicans really cannot destroy this Republic on their own, because they are too busy destroying themselves. David gives us his should-be-patented BTS analysis. Donald Trump’s fraud trial has barely commenced, and already Donald is demanding to speak to the maître d'. More aggravations are in store for TFFG. GOP senators will quit blocking Senator Dianne Feinstein now that she’s dead. Remember when Senator Feinstein took advantage of Larry Craig’s wide stance to kick a field goal? California Governor Gavin Newsom kept several promises to appoint Emily’s List President Laphonza Butler to fill the remainder of Feinstein’s term. The Nobel Prize in medicine did not go to Donald Trump this year, but rather to two scientists whose research helped fight the Covid-19 pandemic. And, Taylor Swift is going to football games. How will MAGA fight this onslaught of good news? If only they had a “Red Caesar” arrive to take everything over… Perhaps they already have someone in mind.

David Waldman is envious of the old Daily Show schedule. At least he’s not aiming for Rachel Maddow’s “any Monday that isn’t a holiday” timetable. Anyhow, we aren’t giving him either, he still has to come in on Fridays. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on the continuing far-right takeover of Ottawa County, Michigan. They are battling COVID restrictions by cutting out half of the county health department budget. Senator Dianne Feinstein has died at 90. Feinstein, the longest-serving woman in the Senate, had a significant career in politics and will be fondly remembered by many, and not fondly remembered by a few who will be soon forgotten. Prison populations are aging out also, with the growing rate of inmate dementia raising questions of what the purpose is of housing criminals who don’t remember why they are there.  TFFG won’t try to move Georgia charges to federal court, so he must have something worse up his sleeve. Donald Trump is like a video game boss, it might take a thousand guilty verdicts to take him down, but it’ll be worth it to see the game end. As Donald himself will tell you, when that happens no one will be more heartbroken than the mainstream press. What Trump wants, Trump gets, and he really wanted that shiny new gun at the SC gun shop.  New Jersey Democratic Rep. Andy Kim has announced that he will run against Senator Bob Menendez. Daily Kos endorses Andy Kim. Bob Menendez is just out there fighting the Man. We have talked about Leonard Leo a lot, finally others might be also.  At least someone is enforcing the Senate dress code. The movie Killers of the Flower Moon tells the true story of the abuse and murder of Osage Nation people by White inhabitants. Spoiler alert: The white folks get away with it.

* Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin combine their talents to make Thursday everything you’d hope it to be, for two hours. TFFG is out of business, and all because of years and years of bank and insurance fraud. But isn’t that the art of the deal? Aren’t we all guilty of sometimes scoring a couple of billion dollars when no one is looking? Donald Trump, dishonest in all ways, will just have to take his dishonesty elsewhere. Yesterday Trump went to Michigan, gave some non-union members union signs, some non-auto workers auto worker signs, and went right on grifting. Joe Biden also went to Michigan, which many in the media will tell you is the same thing, because they want to keep their grift going as well. So do Republicans, who are succeeding in bringing Biden’s public image all the way down to Trump’s. This is quite an amazing feat for such incompetent boobs to pull off, but it helps that they are robust liars.  Republicans are somehow making the time to attack the President while endlessly fighting to destroy the United States. Of course, this requires a lot of lying also. And, it requires at least a few of them to understand procedure. Can they talk the Democrats into defeating the previous question to force a vote on their CR? What was the previous question? … I mean, what is the Previous Question? Then there was the second Gop debate, where they couldn’t even lie appealingly, or apparently with a clue. All this means is that someone is in the lead for 2024… People do win elections. Alabama just doesn’t want it to be Black people. Nonetheless, a court-appointed special master has offered 3 proposals to boost the Black voting-age population share there. That wouldn’t be enough for Ohio, where Dems cut their own throat when they think Republicans might make it even more painful.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin who was out yesterday for Eastern Orthodox Yom Kippur. All in all, yesterday was a good day for the left… although maybe not for some Obama right-wingers. Surprise! A judge has ruled that TFFG committed fraud for years. Wouldn’t it have been weird if Donald Trump had left that single facet of his life uncorrupted? And wouldn’t it have been shocking had Donald accepted the blame this one time? Those multiple federal felony indictments mean Donald shouldn’t be receiving guns, but give his Supreme Court a chance and Trump will be back plinking off Dems on 5th avenue in no time. Meanwhile, David’s old boss Bob might be forced into retirement soon. After all, Senator Robert Menendez probably has drawers full of gold watches by this point. 25 Democratic Senators, plus Dick Durbin are pointing Menendez to the exit… and right when Republicans were realizing just how much they had in common. What will the folks at the debate tonight say?  A lot is happening at the Capitol, and absolutely none of it is good. The Senate and the House fight for the wheel, while hurtling towards the cliff with Kevin McCarthy strapped across the front bumper. Kev threw his very last bone to the Freedom Caucus, who really don’t mind going over the cliff at all. The Alabama GOP will have to comply with a Supreme Court order striking down its racially gerrymandered map... “Supreme Court”? In Ohio they don’t need no stinkin’ “Supreme Court”!

David Waldman is back, recovering from modest low blood sugar and seriously deep thoughts. Lee Greenwood never wrote a song about it, but the day remains significant. If only David could have gotten his old boss Bob to contemplate his moral course, things might have been different. When Republicans want to misbehave, they head down the path to Bohemian Grove. Clarence Thomas traveled many times to the bucolic retreat to share many tips with billionaires... and no tips with waitstaff. You know who has two thumbs and has been warning you almost daily about the looming government shutdown? Joan McCarter, that’s who. (If Joan doesn’t have two thumbs, that intro sure will be awkward.) Disaster aid, flood insurance and more hang in the balance, in fact pretty much everything hangs in the balance if billions are flushed down the toilet. Do Republicans really want to avert a shutdown? It doesn’t matter what Kevin McCarthy thinks because Kevin McCarthy has never been able to actually do anything. The Senate might throw Kev a lifeline, more out of pity than self-interest. How much do Republicans have to destroy to get felonious feeble-mind Donald Trump back into the presidency? According to Cassidy Hutchinson, they were willing to destroy it all to keep him in there.  The Supreme Court rejected Alabama’s latest attempt to avoid creating a second Black majority congressional district, which only means that like Ohio, they will just continue ignoring what courts tell them. Hunter Biden is suing Rudy Giuliani before everyone else rightfully squeezes him dry. Rudy’s probably hoping to make off like Alex Jones, who spends $93,000 a month without paying anyone, and not like Project Veritas, who are finally closing up shop.

It's the Day of Atonement, so I pre-recorded a show! But I did it last year, which means it's now a re-run. There was no time for a new one this year, since I had weekend guests. But the show from as close to a year ago as possible, the September 26, 2022 show, was actually a pre-recorded Rosh Hashanah show! October 5, 2022 was the pre-recorded Yom Kippur show. So we're bringing you the Oct. 5th show, so you don't get confused. Get it? The Eastern Orthodox are finally off the hook for today's confusing calendar joke! What did we do last time we were atoning? Scott described it this way: REPENT NOW! If you are the kind who prefers to mete out your contrition in dribs and drabs over the course of a year rather than just reaping everything you sowed in one fell swoop, lament no more! Yesterday, David Waldman was warming up his self-reproach muscles when he realized that he sorely regretted not supplying us with a fresh KITM for today... So, here’s our brand-new prerecorded show! Trump knew how to handle classified documents, but he didn’t want to handle them that way, and people who wanted to keep their jobs did it the way that Trump wanted. A majority of House Republicans voted to overturn the 2020 election. Since then, most haven’t seen a need to recant, but to instead fine tune their rhetoric for the highest ROI. In fact, Ginni Thomas, the Oath Keepers, Marjorie Traitor Greene and FPOTUS have set the pace on rousing their rabble, by employing the “accusation in a mirror” technique. The mother-daughter duo from the MAGA group Women For America First have strong connections with Mark Meadows, Donald Trump, and Mike Lindell, and advance information on a lot of seditionist and insurrectionist shenanigans. Darwin H.M., aka @Darwin_Darko, aka the most reasonable man in America, tells us of the forgotten story of the “reverse freedom rides” of 1962 — with a music bed too — it’s like a Ken Burns film without the distraction of floating pictures!

Friday. The day David Waldman reserves to tie it all together, and finish everything up… or not. Hey, it’s Friday! House Oversight Chair Jim Comer thinks Joe Biden is too sexy to work, so sexy it hurts. Where is Biden’s long-awaited pivot? Joe knows that to look good, just stand next to someone ugly. Dunning Kruger poster boy Kevin McCarthy failed to see Matt Gaetz creeping up on him, even with the whole audience shouting at him to look out. There was some procedural fun around the sinking of the Defense appropriations bill, as well as the Senate maneuvering Gen. Randy George’s confirmation around Tommy Tuberville’s holds. In for a penny, in for a billion, Clarence Thomas also secretly participated in Koch Network donor events. David has always had problems with The Intercept and annotates the reasons why with a recent Intercept article.

On today’s KITM, by popular demand, David Waldman will continue our discussion of Canadian pirates. By greater popular demand, Greg Dworkin returns with another of his Raft O’ Stories®rrrrr, matey. Remember TV’s Byron Allen? It’s okay if you don’t. Bryon is doing just fine without us. Mr. Allen is so well off now that he could even afford to dine with David Brooks. Kevin McCarthy’s plan to hold the House together while avoiding government default is simple. He will keep giving in to right-wing extremists until Republicans are forced to accept whatever Democrats offer them. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has presented an even simpler solution to Republicans, the “F’ everybody and save my ass!” plan. (Donald’s now suddenly concerned about how he might look in orange.) Presently, Gop priorities center around lining up people to hand them their head in committee meetings. Elsewhere, justice marches on. You could fill a stadium with lawyers embarrassed to have been associated with Trump. Trump’s fake electors are wondering if their sleeper cells had been sleeping enough to evade prosecution. Is Trump Employee 2 a model witness? Trump Is the reason women can’t get abortions. And yet, Trump has a really good feeling that he’s going to win the nomination. Ron DeSantis circles the drain, for 2024, and probably also 2028. Alabama is doing its part for their future Republicans, by keeping Black representation down to a minimum. Nuns are fighting the Catholic patriarchy, which the Catholic patriarchy has determined disqualifies them from fighting the Catholic patriarchy. 

It’s Wednesday, time for David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and KITM, your source for Canadian pirate information and news. We have talked on the subject, and I posted a few links yesterday, but more needs to be said. It turns out that despite American’s comprehensive and detailed knowledge of pirates, Vikings and such, some are still unaware that these swashbuckling heroes might also be Canadian. For instance, there’s Peter Easton, warlord, gangster, and profit center of the North Atlantic. Proof that a rising tide raises all boats, unless you crossed him, then he sunk yours. Also, Pirate-Canadian Maria Lindsey Cobham, Pirate Queen. And who can forget “Roaring” Dan Seavey, who pirated Americans and Canadians alike? Yarr! Eh? Republicans (and Democrats) wonder if Kevin McCarthy should be made to walk the plank, even as the Gop House sinks beneath the waves. McCarthy’s last words will be “Regular order!” while the rest of the Republican rats have already picked out shores to swim to. Don’t expect our Navy to fish out the treacherous picaroons. Meet The Press and moderator Kristen Welker failed in their interview of Donald Trump… or they did exactly what they had planned to do. Larry David asked Elon Musk “Do you just want to murder kids?” and discovered that Elon has a wide range of other interests, including mass disinformation and trolling. Nikki Haley warns that supporting unions will only make unions stronger. Just look at how emboldened UAW president Shawn Fain has become! Auto workers have successfully employed union jujitsu on selected auto plants. 3 fake electors want to make a federal case out of their subversion charges. Fake elector Cathy Latham used to hate politics. She’ll really hate prison. Gen Z influencers moonlight as Ken Paxton’s astroturf support. Meanwhile, special elections continue to go really, really well for Democrats.

  Cap’n David Waldman, at the helm of the Good Ship KITM, sails us safely through another “Talk Like a Pirate Day” … uhm, “Yar”? (For our Canadian listeners, that’s “Yar, eh?”) Special Tuesday guest Joan McCarter isn’t feeling nautical today but can suggest a few members of Congress to keelhaul.  Republicans in DC have not been quite “arrayed” as of late. Republicans who always wanted to burn it down are using their fellow Republicans as kindling. The House are kneecapping the Senate, but so is Senator Ron Johnson. Matt Gaetz has turned against Kevin McCarthy, but pretty much everybody is turning against Matt Gaetz. The Biden impeachment inquiry might at least shut down with the government if they all didn’t mind abusing their staff. Clarence Thomas’ graft scandal raises the question of why SCOTUS justices have the time to take 38 vacations. Catholic fundamentalist tycoon Leonard Leo is working the judges from federal to state level to choke out voting rights. Donald Trump has been in court for about 60 years and is 77 years old. What does a warning about crossing the line into lifelong legal jeopardy actually mean to him? That’s why he wrote to-do lists for lackies on classified documents. Using them as toilet paper wasn’t getting his point across. Donald reminded aides that they “don’t know anything about boxes”. Trump is right, in that not many know everything about all of the boxes. Rudy Colludy Giuliani's ex-lawyers sue him for $1.4 million that they say he owes. Rudy could use a little of that money Trump raised for him... Too bad it all went to Bedminster overhead costs, huh? Canada isn’t worried so much about pirates anymore. Now it’s the Sikh Khalistan movement which has been an Indian problem but is turning into a Canadian crisis. Five Americans are back on US soil after release from Iranian detention, which would normally be seen as great news, if it wasn’t for the way abnormal people see things.

Greg Dworkin had an embarrassment of riches embarrassing embarrassments to go through in rounding up the weekend’s news. They put TFG back on normie TV, and to no one’s surprise, it sucked. And nobody told viewers he was a lying liar. Which they’re really going to have to do, one of these days. Meanwhile, he used the weekend to complain about Biden’s mental acuity, while also bragging that he was ahead of Obama in the polls, and that if he didn’t win the presidency in 2024, the US might find itself in World War II. In Texas, Ken Paxton is guilty. But that didn’t stop Texas state senate Republicans from finding him not guilty. We knew that was likely to happen, even though state house Republicans had voted overwhelmingly to impeach him. But in the end… the “jurors” were… Republicans. In other performative impeachment news, the WaPo comes up with a correct headline for whatever it is House Republicans are up to in DC. The NYT, meanwhile, has noticed that Democrats are hand-wringers. Looming in the background: another government shutdown, which ordinarily, the Speaker of the House would try to deal with. But we don’t have one. All we have is a collection of press hounds, who know it’s easier to become famous for saying no. Well, that and a Dusty Johnson. Jenna Ellis has temporarily learned a lesson, finding herself on the menu at a leopard restaurant. Even odds on whether she forgets it if TFG ever matters, again. What do you say if you’re a conservative who is disgusted by Vivek Ramaswamy? You say that you dislike him, and that it’s because he “sounds like” a progressive Democrat. In a sampling of the latest courtroom drama, Trump hilariously insisted that the judge in his DC case should recuse herself, while prosecutors merely insisted that that he should stop inciting violence. Twitter lawyers, meanwhile, insisted that they would keep appealing their previous losses over Smith’s warrant for TFG’s Tweets.

David Waldman delivers us to the end of the week and the beginning of the year on today’s KITM. Shofar so good! Artificial Intelligence should not be writing obituaries, unless, of course, you want AI to be part of bereavement process. After all, what could be worse for AI than to be declared useless? What could be a prouder moment than to have played in video games? An AI named “EagleAI” has shown itself to be useful in disenfranchising voters and helpful in spreading disinformation. It won’t be dying soon. PraegerU aims to teach children the words of Abraham Lincoln, Frederick Douglass and Ullyses S. Grant, as passed through the intestinal tract of Rush Limbaugh. It’s gotten out that Florida “homeschoolers” can receive kayaks, paddleboards, big-screen televisions and theme park tickets free from the State. (Who knew that people read Facebook?) It was only a matter of time before someone came to break up the party. Rural Georgia voters are wondering how Trump’s co-conspirators managed to get away with all that they did under their noses. Meanwhile, in North Carolina election fraudster Mark Harris wants to put all his old crimes behind him, to make room for his future in Congress. Donald Trump has another interview and digs a little deeper. 

Thursday on KITM, and we welcome David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, your unimpeachable sources for news and mirth, weekdays.  Not-so mirthful Kevin McCarthy finally realizes the value of f—king procedure, if not adjective placement. The MAGA/Freedom caucus is beginning to realize that destroying government for their revenge fantasies isn’t a big vote-getter. Neither is their shutting down of abortion rights. Unfortunately for everyone, their MAGA doom loop is much more frequent than the Brigadoon loop of 100 years.  Soon you won’t have Mitt Romney to kick around anymore. Joking! Of course, you will. Forever. Remember, that just because someone hates the same people you do, it doesn’t make him your friend. We still have Donald Trump to kick around, so somebody really needs to be kicking harder. The ass-kicking line is just queuing up, and everyone will get their full turn.  Meanwhile, if Hunter Biden has a problem with the law, he needs to settle up. That’s the way it goes, and the way it should go with everyone. MAGA terrorists never will see it that way.

David Waldman, This Is Your Life! On today's KITM, David relates the true story of his rollercoaster-like ride to honchoing the KITM Worldwide Entertainment conglomerate, adding words of guidance for aspiring lawyers, politicians, ad men and women, while dishing on DC’s movers and shakers. (We won't get into names though... except for Greg Dworkin, whose name we do like to drop at least three times a week.) Also, there’s some news! Kevin McCarthy announced a formal impeachment inquiry against President Joe Biden. Yep, that’s weaponization of government all right, an attack on democracy. The Freedom caucus can’t decide whether to half-heartedly deny that or throw a party on live tv. Or... psychotically rant, or cynically lie… the usual. The press is happy to fall in line. Republicans will inevitably impeach Biden no matter what the facts show, or what the press says. Interim House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s got nothing, and no longer has any bargaining chips left. Donald Trump has about used up all of his pain in the ass trolls before he’s caboose on a chain gang.  The Gop behind the impeachment have had recent dinner meetings with Trump… and you know that they weren’t there for the halibut. Not only is there no evidence against Joe Biden, but there’s also of course a lot of evidence exonerating him. Therefore, the best move for Joe is to just quit... wait, that doesn't sound right. Anyhow, no one is jumping into anyone’s primary now. Ron DeSantis knows how to handle a federal misdemeanor, with a bullet right between the eyes. The resilient spirit of young Americans will pull us through. We haven’t heard from that dummy Lauren Boebert lately, but we will soon hear her explanation of why she was ejected from the Denver Buell Theatre after she was caught enthusiastically vaping during the Beetlejuice musical.

It’s Tuesday on KITM. More importantly, it’s finally 9/12, and we can return to our 9/12 mindset. Even better, Joan McCarter is feeling better, and can call in and give David Waldman somebody to talk to other than all of us. After long consideration… well, after not much consideration at all, Interim Republican Speaker Kevin McCarthy made his move to impeach Joe Biden. Knife out, heading for Biden, Kevin might not realize that he’s being crept up on by Matt Gaetz, who will be so preoccupied that he won’t notice Marge Greene’s knife… MTG better have eyes in the back of her head. MAGA knows that all of those charges against Donald Trump are fake news. They’re just waiting for that verdict from the Supreme Court. Good thing Supreme Court judges are always honorable, impartial, ethical… alas, that is not true, not since conjugal dark money conduit Ginni Thomas helped open Leonard Leo’s and Harlan Crow’s spigots into their undisclosed hoses. Can Senate Republicans stop House extremists from helping Putin? Not if Senate Republicans can team up with enough House counterparts to secure Ukraine aid.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin count down the days until “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, while counting up the dumb and dumber people they find in the world. 9/11. Time for memorials, and defacing of memorials. Donald Trump is adept at turning memories into nightmares. Donald says wind farms cause cancer.  Ron Johnson will tell you they kill whales. In your universe those are lies, but in the Republican universe… they are also lies, but they’re their guy’s lies, and that’s good enough for them. They know what they want and are not picky about their rationale. Glenn Youngkin can pardon any violent criminal as long as he brings law and order to Gilberts Corner… not like those big cities, which just aren’t their big cities. And, that’s just how leopards ate the face of this conservative Idaho community. Voters in all universes are feeling better about the economy, they just don’t feel like crediting President Joe Biden. That’s okay, happier people are Biden voters. Dems have experienced great success over the last year. Of course, it is over the next year that we need to be concerned about. Biden’s age is mostly a lie people tell themselves when they don’t want to vote for him. Nonetheless, it is a lie that can do plenty of damage, unless people are reminded of what they are really voting for. Ron DeSantis’ Super PAC is hurting his campaign, but not half as much as Ron DeSantis is. Vivek Ramaswamy was attempting to reassure voters about his authenticity when the truth dropped right on his head. In DC, Interim Republican Speaker Kevin McCarthy will be getting exactly what he’s been asking for this week. The U.S. Government chose a supervillain as a major supplier and is somehow surprised when the sharks with frickin’ laser beams become pointed at them. 

Lots going on today, as always. Some of which we talked about, and some of which we assigned as homework. Navarro’s guilty. And not just of pacing around nervously. Fani Willis had a thing or two to say to Jim Jordan. And the Fulton County Special Grand Jury’s report was released today, too. In more in-depth news, here’s the take we were looking for on “Coach” Kennedy’s case. The more you look at it, the more it looks like other fake cases, like 303 Creative. That reminds me, Every Republican Accusation is a Confession.™ This time, the proof is… another “famous” conservative “Christian” family brought low by charges of child abuse. “Free speech absolutist” Elon Musk finds yet another limit to his tolerance: Ukraine. Proud Boys imprisoned for Jan. 6 think Trump will pardon them. That much we all understand. Why they think he’ll do it for free is the mystery. Maybe it’s because Trump is finally helping Rudy Colludy pay his legal bills… by asking other people to pay his legal bills.

David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin for only the second time this week. Not that Greg isn’t always welcome, it’s just that we are running short of days this week... Yes, President Joe Biden is old. He’s not as old as Mitch McConnell, that’s for sure.  In fact, Joe Biden is every bit as young as Mick Jagger! And yet, no one can stop handwringing about Joe’s age… Doesn’t that make you feel so ANGRY? Well, repurpose that anger into moving democratic and Democratic ideals forward and changing what can be changed. At least Biden can’t be impeached over “age” lies. The coach who wanted to promote Christian theocracy in high school football was fired. The Christian theocratic Supreme Court wouldn’t allow it. The coach could quit though, once he proved his point after one game. Florida home-schoolers school each other on how to game the state for Disney tickets, PS5s, and big-screen TVs.  TFFG is legal trouble. He lost, he’s losing, and he’s set to be the losing-est loser who ever lose-ed. Evidence keeps building, co-defendants keep flipping, judges are already tiring of him. All of his followers and associates are being herded into court like cattle through a stockade. Peter Navarro and John Eastman qualify for the express lane. Brad Raffensperger though is but a simple “Secretary of the State of Georgia”, he can’t take Donald Trump off the ballot as if he was some sort of rule-breaker! The war between the states rages on. At least the war between state Gops and the rule of law. And in Texas, Greg Abbott isn’t allowed to send migrants through buoys, nets and buzz saw blades anymore.

It’s the Wednesday KITM Special! Compared to Tuesday, we have somewhat less Joan, but a lot more Greg Dworkin, and about equal measures of David Waldman, all topped with a healthy dollop of news! Enrique Tarrio isn’t such a proud boy anymore and will be sent up the river for a long, long time. Not hardly long enough, nonetheless his verdict is a pretty effective example for those not wanting to follow him. Kingpin of the operation, Donald J. Trump, remains at large, however Special counsel Jack Smith continues to throw ever larger dragnets, hoping to reel him in shortly. Then there’s the 14th amendment, sitting right there for 155 years, waiting to be implemented for just this situation. The Civil War continues to rage on, with Republicans defying the law to cut down democracy in several states. In Alabama, a federal court stepped in to block a congressional redistricting map that defied Supreme Court orders. And in Wisconsin, the Gop is attempting to impeach their new Supreme Court justice before she can even hear a case. The economy isn’t working Republican’s way either, which is to say it is working. There’s nothing left for them to do but to try Benghazing Hunter. If that doesn't work, MAGA might need to postpone their overthrow of the government for another day. 50 thousand fake federal workers will just need to stand down and stand by. Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal hopes to interest the Right with a rational, intelligent alternative… That’s their problem right there.

David Waldman is back with an all-new, live (for those who partake) KITM. Joan McCarter is back with all the latest from DC, though she’s still recovering from a rough strain of Covid. Who knows how many of us are catching the stuff again. Get well, and good luck. There’s a lot of opportunities for bipartisanship in Washington, but many more for doing nothing. Republicans are busy dreaming of dismantling the US government to replace it with Trump’s vision, which will mean a lot less work for everybody all around, and more beer and lightbulbs for those left standing. Christian militia minutemen are trained and ready to help in cleanup.  Marge Greene and Elon Musk already have input to share. Greene is ready to shut it all down right now unless Joe Biden is impeached for attacking her because she said she would shut it all down right now unless Joe Biden is impeached. If Laura Loomer actually believes she can out-nuts MTG to win Donald Trump’s rose, she’s got to be crazy nuts. All the astroturf in the world won’t help Ken Paxton, six feet above his head.

Taking the day off is the only sensible approach to Labor Day. Not that we've always done it. But we're doing it now, so that's what matters. It also gives us a chance to reflect on the fact that we're marking a full year since Biden's "Battle for the Soul of the Nation" speech. And while it's gratifying to see a few people FO what happens when they FA, we're a long way from done. And I don't feel like I've just lived through a year of battle for the soul of the nation. Do you? That either means we haven't done nearly enough yet, or... it means we've done plenty, even if there's more to do, and this might be easier than we think. Here's how it felt a year ago, at the outset: David Waldman annotates our reading assignments for the weekend: President Joe Biden appeared before our entire nation last night to address the Soul of our Nation. Well, most of our nation. If all you have are rabbit ears on your TV you might have missed out. Joe believes in the goodness of Americans, including most Republicans. Biden did single out that deplorable sub-group of “MAGA Republicans”, pro-insurrection, anti-democratic, anti-American and a danger to everyone. Republicans respond angrily. MAGA Republicans respond angrily-er. Give the corporate media a minute to figure out what the real offenses might be. Much of this started with Newt Gingrich. Michigan reveals anti-democracy in action when the largest number of signatures submitted for a ballot initiative in state history were rejected by the two Republicans on the election board. The DOJ filed a detailed property inventory on the items seized at Mar-a-lago. Donald Trump never trusted anyone else with classified documents and had to take care of unloading them all himself. He was almost finished when the present President of the United States decided he had executive privilege over his remaining stock.

Fridays often cast a wide net for KITM content. And this one’s no exception. First, we return to and finish up the story of Russia’s disinformation “active measures” in Africa, where people are increasingly turning off old school Western media and turning to online sources. The other Judge Starr isn’t exactly slamming on the brakes with his order for “religious-liberty training” for Southwest Airlines’ lawyers. Clarence Thomas claims he was clearing things up with a revised financial disclosure. But, ah… no. In fact, it only raises more questions, including why he’s such a vicious Gimmetarian.™ The #GunFAIL story that getting all the eyes: a Tennessee woman, claiming she was conducing “firearms safety training” — for a 4-year-old — shot her point blank in the chest and killed her. Why any of the things that happened happened is anybody’s guess. Life is complicated. Now, so is death.

What? Is it already National Eat Outside-Diatomaceous Earth Day? Time for another KITM, featuring David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! The Gop is primed for another charismatic phony. So, will it be Vivek Ramaswamy? Billy McFarland?  Viktor Orbán? Andrew Tate? No, that guy is way too much the real deal. For $8,000 Tate helped lonely boys find dates, subjugate them to their will through physical and mental assault, then pimp them out for cash, you know, guy stuff. Hey, but Donald Trump’s still out there, working hard to hold the title. His election lies might have broken some in the Republican party, but TFFG continues to maintain history’s most powerful innocence... as do a lot of people it seems. John Eastman reasons that he’s so guilty, he must be innocent while Peter Navarro pins the blame on that sign behind him. Could it be… Fani Willis who is actually Satan? (BTW, Greg and Brad are on Threads.) Every Republican accusation is a confession. (Even Patrick is on Threads. Alas, Kagro X… is not.) Why not the 14th Amendment? Some states are looking into it, and some Republicans are getting nervous. Around January 6th justice, some insurrectionists are facing the music, while others face their victims. Pro-Putin rapper Timati (not to be confused with pro-Trump rapper Hi-Rez) “picked up” a few hundred Starbucks and Domino’s in Russia, demonstrating the benefits of working within the system… Russian disinformation is booming along the Sahel in Africa, traditionally the area for, well, for just that.

David Waldman invites Maestro Greg Dworkin to The KITM Stage this morning for another virtuoso performance, Mr. Waldman in support, ostensibly “cooperative overlap”, actually in contrapuntal reinforcement, adding transcendent dissonant texture. TFFG is losing bigly in the courts no matter what he tries to pull. Donald Trump is so sick of losing, he might just stop showing up in court. Republicans hope to put a stop to courts, judges and laws before things really get tough and they need to take out Black people, women, etc. Rich Christian homeschoolers want public schools to be like their home schools for everyone, for parental rights, natch, and are paying to make it happen. Florida wants their schools to teach the “other” side of slavery. More people going to school just means more people will get shot. (Follow George on Threads!) Dog owners are turning down rabies shots so that their dogs don’t catch autism. And you wonder why the election is so close. (Follow Liam on Threads!) At least election denialism lost again, this time in a red-trending Iowa county. Justice continues to march on. (Follow Kyle on Threads!) John Eastman’s “I’m too busy being a criminal somewhere else” defense was taken down in his disbarment proceedings. Hurricane Idalia is hitting Georgia, so maybe it’s not a hurricane anymore? Trump wouldn’t have let this happen. (Follow Steve on Threads!)

David Waldman is here for the Tuesday KITM, but unfortunately for us, Joan McCarter is under the weather, leaving it to David to ring the Tuesday Government Shutdown bell.  Joe the Plumber is out also, but more permanently. “Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher”, as it probably reads on his headstone, opposed full insurance reform, but apparently not asking for crowdfunded healthcare. TFFG’s election subversion trial will begin March 4. He’ll be arraigned September 6. Demand grows to remove Trump from state ballots. Donald’s squealing like a 215lb piggie. What more could you wish for? Hillsdale College is the Republican go-to spot to pick up the latest in White Christian Nationalist grooming kits… that is “Parental Rights” kits for degrading K-12 public education. Lawyer Michael Farris came up with the idea of destroying public schools while home-schooling his kids. Hurricane Idalia hasn’t made landfall yet, so anti-FEMA loons and grifters are on the Soros-funded Lahaina death ray theories. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin back on Monday’s KITM, ready to lead us into another week of adventure and merriment.  You know where I don’t want to go anymore? That crap social media site, what’s it called… you know what I’m talking about. That place is useless, you know. Here, let me show you:  The Republican debate shook up the primary race for distant second place. Here’s the latest polling… (And, here’s that same post on A GOOD SITE, Threads. Which has a desktop version now, FYI) None of the Republican candidates want to beat TFFG anyhow, they’ll tell you that. They’re all just as bad as Trump. They just want to prove that to the American people. Ron DeSantis convinces more people each day. For instance, this lady is a convert. (Oh, and here is that post in Threads.) If you don’t know who Florida state Rep Angie Nixon is, you do now. (And by now you know that post is on Threads, too.) Here’s another side eye for Desantis. (And here is that same post… wait, it’s not there. I’ll be damned.) Why are people still on “that” site? Because that’s where the fighting is, and people like fighting. Journalists will always point their cameras at the fight in front of them, even as the takeover happens right behind them. Meanwhile, somehow, justice marches on. Donald Trump and his co-villains are back in court to fight for different venues and times… and losing. The Hatch Act bars Mark Meadows’ removal bid. What do you, our listeners, suggest that we talk about? Well David did just that in the last half of the show.  Hillsdale College in Michigan offers Christian theocracy in a box, for K-12 back-to-school grooming needs. FEMA conspiracy misinformation goes wherever FEMA is most desperately needed, this time to Maui, next... Florida? And, it’s no secret that some of the Secret Service are bromatically attached to Oath Keepers.

Happy birthday to us! It’s David Waldman’s birthday today! …And Armando Llorens!’ …And mine tomorrow! It was Darwin Darko’s, aka Darwin HiM’s last week! Why are so many Virgos involved in the production of KITM? (Of course, we Virgos do not believe in that horoscope stuff.) Plus! Greg Dworkin pops out of the cake in the finale! No one could give us a bigger birthday present than Donald P01135809 Trump, who surrendered for his Georgia mugshot at a championship-ready lying weight of 215 pounds, even putting on an extra inch of height for the big event. If he keeps making that face, it will freeze that way. Meanwhile, co-villain Jeffery Clark went for his “yup that’s me, you probably wonder how I got here.” face. Armando and David discussed how things are going, and could go for TFFG, but they aren’t completely into the theory that Donald slipped Mar-a-Lago to Junior while no one was looking. Ken Paxton, hated by most, guilty of everything, still has a lot of Gen-Z astroturf on his side. “Constitutional sheriffs” see themselves as judge, jury, and evangelist for their counties, but can they tell “sovereign citizens” what to do? Nope, no one can tell them anything. Sara Palin calls for an uprising; expect a lot of surveyor marks.

Yes, Greg Dworkin watched at least some of the debate, not that any of us ever had to. DeSantis’ loss was a given, and it seems his leaked strategy to “hammer Ramaswamy” was co-opted by everyone else. And with good reason! He’s the candidate Greg says it’ll take you mere seconds to come to hate. Which is why Gop goons swooned for him. (Even as the “normies” couldn’t get any sicker of the culture war fixations.) Meanwhile, TFG skipped the debate as expected, pretending to be on white nationalist “television,” instead. Though it’s unclear if anyone saw it. Useless or not, there’s no escaping the polls. The courtroom and motions action continues down in Georgia. Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Jonathan Turleys. Judge Luttig speaks out — probably very slowly — on the hot topic of 14th amendment remedies, and says the answer is both self-evident and self-executing. But is that a good idea in the age of birtherism, forged Electoral College votes, and baseless impeachment fever?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present another thrilling episode of KITM: Donald Trump, COUNTDOWN TO SURRENDER! Tonight’s Episode: A Cavalcade of RINOS. Watch to see who will win the coveted title of World’s Smallest Loser. (We already know it’ll be Ron DeSantis.) All of them know that the biggest loser is TFFG, but none of them have the courage or wisdom to say that… well, except for Chris Christie, but that’s his schtick. None of really want to win anyway, they just hope to outlive MAGA. MAGA differ from regular Republicans in many ways, but not all of those pertain to aroma. Speaking of Rudy Colludey, He and his irrefutable vindicating scientific evidence have arrived in Georgia for their mugshot. John Eastman and other co-defendants beat the rush and got photographed by the pre-dawn crew. Mark Meadow explained that his life as a rat is much too hectic to participate in state trials.  Jeffrey Clark feels no guilt, as he was only following orders. As for the rest of the riff raff rounded up, the smaller the name, the more likely they are to flip. For instance, “Trump Employee 4” in Donald’s classified documents case realized he was on the bottom of the fall guy line and found himself a new lawyer. Judge Aileen Cannon thought she’d outsmart Jack Smith, but you know you found a fine time to flip then Yuscil. Yuscil Taveras took a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat to Trump’s defense, and that’s going to leave a mark. What’s Dark Brandon up to lately? Who knows? The dude is mysterious… Meanwhile, President Joe Biden is out there mopping up foes, and getting the job done.

Sure, it’s Trump Surrender Week, but should remind ourselves that the rest of the world has its own priorities. For example, the International Day Commemorating the Victims of Acts of Violence Based on Religion or Belief. Now that’s a mouthful! Trump’s set to ruin my birthday present, by turning himself in a day early. On top of that, he’s skipping the Republican debate to go on white nationalist “TV”. Best guess: he wants no oxygen left for debate night or the day after. Online betting is off and running on the surrender. Are they actually going to weigh him, too? They’re running an over-under on it, so… maybe? (Current line: 278.5 lbs.) In other surrender news, he’s gonna have to post bail. At least some, anyway. Oh, hey… what about that thing where Mark Meadows was attempting to remove his case to federal court? What’s that all about? And if you’re still puzzled (or just annoyed) by Trump apologists disingenuously claiming things like, “Oh, so now calling a Secretary of State on the phone is a crime?!” then it’s time for a little (read: a lot of) discussion about the definition and role of “overt acts” in a conspiracy, and in a conspiracy indictment.

Friday brings us the Exciting Conclusion™ of “W, precisely, TF was going on in Coffee County?” We’re not too sure that what Kenneth “The Cheese” Chesebro was doing for TFG was actual “lawyering.” But we’re sure that what he was doing during the actual insurrection part of Jan. 6 wasn’t. That wacky order for “religious liberty training” for Southwest Airlines’ lawyers is on hold. But then again, well… 5th Circuit. Rosalyn MacGregor is back, to keep us up to date on bleeding edge local crazies, the Ottawa County, MI Gop, busily robbing everyone blind. What should you be reading about this weekend? How about (possibly planned) incompetence at Florida’s New College, wrecking everything? Or Rudy Colludy’s desperate begging for a legal bills bailout? Because apparently he didn’t steal enough from “documentary” investors. Or this crossover from the Southwest Airlines story (you’ll see, or hear, anyway), wherein a coordinated trolling campaign is underway in support of disgraced superjerk Ken Paxton.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back, and here to talk to each other again, but it’s ok if you want to hang out too. Democrats need to face facts. Whether they like it or not, they now need to accept the uneasy truth that they… might be... winning. Republicans are certainly losing and are getting tired of pretending that they aren’t. The news media is finding it tougher to invent a second, rational, side with debates still coming up. It is clear that the majority of Americans want Donald Trump placed far, far away from where the majority of them are. Don’t count Donald Trump out yet. He’s got plenty of options still. Donald still has Mike Lindell, for instance. And Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Traitor Greene, Jenna Ellis, Rudy Giuliani, John Eastman and so many more ready to give their all for him. Trump might still throw all of them, and all of us, under the bus. What’s he got to lose? Luckily, Donald has that IRREFUTABLE report in his back pocket, or there’d be real trouble. How about a nice big cup of Coffee County, Georgia? A school district asked ChatGPT to find the naughty bits in books for them. AI knows just what they are hungry for.

It’s Wednesday, so you know David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are up to something… It’s a good year to be an annotator. Donald Trump’s fourth indictment is out, and anybody who’s anybody is getting arraigned. Are four strikes too many to call Trump out? Are RICO charges too much? Or did Fani Willis bring perfect charges for perfect phone calls? TFFG has so many indictments, we can now appreciate how well they complement each other. There could be a market for Trump judge trading cards, so we can all keep track of Trump’s insults. Trump’s crimes will start to feel like crimes after Trump starts to feel that they are. Georgia’s indictment of Trump is a confirmation of states’ rights, Governor Brian Kemp should feel proud. So should his lieutenant governor, Burt Jones. Jack Smith isn’t going to let Georgia take all the spotlight. Smith picked up a lot of data on Trump from Twitter, even after they tried to give Donald a heads up. Twitter’s lawyers knew that they could do that… from Twitter. None of this matters to Trump supporters. The thing is, there are less of those every day. There are also less DeSantis and Pence supporters. That puts Chris Christie right in the 9% catbird seat! It also ain’t hurting Biden any. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor brings us the latest out of Michigan: Civil war or something! That “something” will be the daydreams of 16 felony convicts looking at their cell walls. And, youth activists in Montana win in a first-of-its-kind climate trial.

Such an arraigny night in Georgia! Donald Trump was indicted for the 4th time! 19 indicted! 30 co-conspirators! 98 pages! And yet the silence from KITM World Headquarters was almost deafening this morning. I’m told it was a “power outage”, but it was probably a lib plot to take the attention off of Hunter Biden. David Waldman did hit record however, and Greg Dworkin even called in, because how could he resist? Together they listed the Trump 18 plus indictments, determined that Georgia was the worst/best place for Trump to FAFO in, but that TFFG was just that kind of guy, and he should have been put in jail a couple of decades ago. Trump has had irrefutable proof of his innocence for years and might be forced to present it. And well, isn’t convicting Donald of his crimes in fact only actually convicting us? The biggest difference between the Georgia indictment and the Jan. 6 indictment will be race. It has gotten so bad for Donald Trump (and Ron DeSantis) that Chris Christie has climbed to second in primary polling… Uhm, “hooray”? Meanwhile, Tommy Tuberville has defeated three branches of the U.S. military on his own. Ronny Jackson, well known drinker and pill-popper, denies drinking at work, and denies drinking at rodeos, so he must be one of those “angry non-drinkers” you hear about. Raiding the press because you don’t like your stories about you doesn’t work in the movies, or in real life. The Reichsbürger seem like wurst-filled dummköpfe from over here, but in Germany they never joke.

Bad news... No one is coming to your Biden Country diner to better understand you. Good news! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are waiting here at KITM, and they care about most of your plights! Is this the end of Trump? Well, for the racketeer Former Guy, it’s just the beginning of RICO. Georgia Fulton County DA Fani Willis is set to bring a whole lot of hammers down on Donald Trump, and several of his soon-to-be ex-friends. Georgia prosecutors will prove Trump’s team is behind the Coffee County voting machine breach, and that Team Trump knew the Dominion claims were false. Lindsey Graham might not be indicted, but he’s always likely to flip anyhow, and naturally Donald would give up any one of them in a heartbeat. Trump’s co-conspirators are already starting to turn on each other. Why are so many of Trump’s alleged co-conspirators lawyers? Of course, the person who wants to see Donald Trump in jail the most is Donald Trump. If indictments boost Trump in the polls, just think what conviction could do! Leonard Leo, gimme-est of gimme-terians has installed a lot of gimmeterian judges, but his proudest achievement might be Judge Aileen Cannon.

avid Waldman is here to do a bunch of Friday things on the KITM Friday Show. Clarence Thomas had always yearned to be wealthy but refused to allow the fact that he was a simple Supreme Court Justice to ever hold him back. White male billionaires the world over saw this and empathizing with Thomas’ struggle against adversity, decided to become his benefactors and thus act affirmatively on Clarence’s behalf, in order to give Clarence Thomas a needed leg up… into his own luxury RV. This cadre of Horatio Algers all saw themselves in the same boat (Or yacht, as the case may be.), and knew that they had to stick together, as the day might come when they might find themselves in need a favor. TFFG co-conspirator #2 John Eastman expected the military to help overthrow the government but was let down. Co-conspirator #5 Kenneth Chesebro regrets the violence on January 6, especially after it didn’t overthrow the 2020 election to his preference. Now even the Federalist Society is running out of uses for Donald Trump. Meanwhile, fraudulent electors have been arraigned due to many of the fraudulent things they’ve been accused of.  4 years after the Walmart shooting in El Paso Texas, and Texans still have a problem with immigrants. Greg Abbott hopes that an obstacle course requiring asylum seekers to swim between rolling buoys, razor wire and sawblades might do the trick. Right wing troll Andy Ngo had his ass handed to him, but not a win in his lawsuit against Portland activists. Most Reasonable Man in America and KITM Senior Black Correspondent, @Darwin_Darko, aka Darwin HiM wishes Tim Scott the best of luck navigating the Confederate flags lining his path to the Republican presidential nomination, but still holds some reservations on Scott’s wisdom in doing so.

David Waldman makes certain that no pontoon boats of ignorance block Greg Dworkin’s docking of his Raft o’ Stories!™ on today’s KITM. What really happened in Loudoun County? You should have a pretty good idea by now. After all, we covered it thoroughly all this week. Glenn Youngkin rode the conservative transphobic/homophobic wave into the Virginia Governor’s office, and maybe all the way into the Republican nomination, now that Ron DeSantis’ wave is spinning around the toilet bowl. No, make that “Ronald” DeSantis, to stay within new Florida school guidelines, which of course were put in place to keep little Ronalds from becoming Ronettes, and Glenns from becoming Glendas. The folks who claim that the gender spectrum is in people’s heads now also want to deny that it is in anyone’s head. Donald Trump says he won't sign the RNC loyalty pledge required for the upcoming debate. Nice to know that TFFG isn’t a big fan of loyalty, as he shouldn’t expect to see much more for the rest of his life. As I write this, Donald does not yet face the death penalty, but most of what he does face is not up for debate. The “independent state legislature” theory won’t save him, nor will Bill Clinton’s cat. Threats will get him nowhere; they might just make it worse. Clarence Thomas has had a great life, built upon an unearned lifestyle supplied through the largess of rich white men... On the other hand, perhaps Clarence earned every penny of it. Ohio’s Issue 1 was all about abortion. Republicans fooled almost no one. Worse for them, even less people will be fooled the next time. Almost no one believes that they have anything on President Joe Biden, and the ones who do believe, are going to be really disappointed. Get well soon, Hawaii!

On Wednesday’s David Waldman catches up with Greg Dworkin. Actually, we all catch up with Greg, who is way ahead of us on the latest news. OHIO! Voters like freedom and democracy and will vote to protect them. It’s funny how many pundits doubted that a year ago. Now, the Gop war on democracy is in retreat, as abolishing abortion turned out to be a bridge too far. Today, Republicans are making excuses and covering their tracks. Tomorrow, they’ll be back at it, again. They’ll need more than transphobia next time. Back in the day, Glenn Youngkin was elected Governor by transphobes. He’d have a tougher time now. Then again, harassing non-believers has lately become religious freedom. The tide might be turning in Ohio for Joe Biden. Not just because of abortion rights, but because of Ohio’s betrayal by the Trump administration. It also turns out that being indicted several times isn’t the selling point Donald had hoped for. Prosecuting Donald Trump may have terrible consequences, but they’re nothing compared to not prosecuting him. The Former Guy and his Six Co-Conspirators secretly planned, and memoed to overturn Joe Biden’s election win. Donald Trump insulting Chris Christie’s appearance is like the pot calling the kettle fat.

David Waldman and his dedicated staff here at KITM World Headquarters are in the midst of a little late spring housekeeping. From now on, whenever I need to post a link to “the social media site formally known as bird”, I will try to find an identical link somewhere else... It would be nice If only we migrated to the same place! David and I are both at Mastodon (a very quiet neighborhood). I’m also at Threads, which actually would be just dandy with a desktop version. But now David is also over at the other, other billionaire’s place, Bluesky. Maybe he’ll send you and me an invite and we can check that out. Also, I when I get paywalled links, I do hope to include a non-paywalled alternative, so that you might spend your hard-earned entertainment/educational bucks on us. Read along with Jack Smith’s Trump indictment in the NYT version, or on MSNBC’s and let KITM do the annotating! It seems like only yesterday that David was throwing his back out lugging bags of mulch for his kid’s Boy Scout troops. The Scouts could use sandbags in South Korea as a tropical storm bears down on their Jamboree.  Many big, huge lawyers, tears streaming down their eyes, say “Mr. Trump sir, you are the most stupid, awful client who ever existed”. These lawyers now claim that the DOJ is out to censor their bigmouthed boss and propose that everyone just lighten up a little on their gasbag dotard. Donald’s Secret Service detail might, or might not, be ready to take a bullet for him, but could draw the line on going to prison with him. We continue to look into the full story of the Loudoun County sexual assault case used to ignite culture wars ahead of Glenn Youngkin’s election to Governor. Are you an Ohioan? Vote today! Get ready to vote in November!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back, and here to talk about whatever you are talking about. That’s Donald Trump, right? We’re still talking about TFFG’s latest indictment, which won’t be his last, but is presently being treated to his usual panicked bs and revenge fantasies, with maybe few added tweaks. For instance, Donald Trump never “tells” people what to do, he just “asks” in an aspirational manner. How many times can Trump try to overthrow democracy before he becomes a bore? About this many times. Donald’s not as worn out as DeSantis’ War on Woke, but he’s getting there. Where is Mark Meadows? Mike Pence did find a way to finally get noticed. Do you know why you put Jeff Clark into the blender feet first? ...To catch his reaction. Unfortunately, we missed the details in a closed meeting, but maybe it will come up again in testimony. Wisconsin sore losers get sorer the more they lose. The Lincoln Project’s strategy of anti-Donald Trump resistance was probably instead a very successful strategy to make money. Republicans publicly bash Bud Light, and quietly pocket Bud Light money.  Glen Younkin owes his political career to a sexual assault in a school bathroom. Of course, that’s not the entire story. Tuesday is Voting No on Issue 1 day in Ohio. If you are here, you already know.

It’s Friday, the day David Waldman talks about as many topics as he wants, or as few. Today, it is one. TFFG’s January 6 Indictment.  We are now post-arraignment. Donald Trump supposedly doesn’t drink, but it might have crossed his mind last night. Trump plans to do just more of the same in the future. Maga plans to do worse. Donald’s lawyers plan even dumber moves, but that would be difficult. The media wonders if Donald Trump has already won. So far Walt Nauta hasn’t gotten any of his lawyers disbarred. What if you don’t want to think about Donald Trump this weekend? Republicans certainly can come up with some suggestions for you, although most won’t occupy your mind for long. Whatever you hope to think about, you are allowed to think about it less in Florida. You could talk about the weather...  At least David has the perfect playlist and soft drink for the weekend.

Another indictment, another arraignment, another KITM, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here and ready to rumble. Here is where you come for not only the latest TFFG indictment annotated, but also for added comments, asides, and little notes scribbled in the margins. This indictment is the most important, so far.  Expect a lot of bellyaching, obfuscation, and threats from Trump, which is what you always expect from Trump. Expect the same from Republicans, unless they’re too scared to talk, or too, heh, “conscientious” and heh-heh, “forthright”, heh-heh-heh. Some are concerned that these indictments might be great news… for Donald Trump! Consider how prison time could empower him! David Brooks cashes in his contrarian paycheck wondering if perhaps the anti-Trump elite should turn themselves in for picking on Donald so much. Trump’s January 6 crimes are different because people felt them then and feel them now. TFFG is on his way to overtake both Richard Nixon and Benedict Arnold. Trump’s indictment leaves his alleged co-conspirators facing an incredibly easy choice… but who will go first? This news is not great news for state Gop parties, which won’t be great news for Trump the next time he needs them. Evel Knievel passed away a long time ago. So might a few of his fan base. But if Barbie can make a comeback...

Well, there was really only one thing on our minds today, even if there were a hundred ways to approach it. And of course, Greg Dworkin always knows exactly what it is: The Indictment. Of Michigan Attorney General candidate Matt DePerno and ex-state Rep. Daire Rendon. On charges of tampering with voting machines. As Republicans. Because all of their accusations are confessions.   Then there was another story. And that took up the rest of our day. That’s OK. It’s important! And there were a lot of unindicted co-conspirators for Trump to try to lay the blame on, in between claiming that the whole thing is a “witch hunt,” of course.   The co-conspirators’ day may yet come, but for now, America awaits The Trial. Because yeah, it’s as bad as you think. Now begins the task of setting fire to the tightropes Republicans have always been forced to walk for Trump.   If you’re in the commodities market, think popcorn.

It’s August, as we count down to David Waldman’s, and my birthday. But that’s old news. (Very old.) Here’s what’s happening today: Ian Reifowitz, word for word your best value in reading entertainment and political discourse, came on to talk about inflation, and the lack thereof in political discourse and how best to frame any discourse going forward into 2024. Twitter isn’t much good for discussing politics, following news, or even being Twitter anymore, but if you are looking for a fight, you came to the right place. David stepped in for a little sparring practice and found some pushovers around the topic of what piece of Earth to place Space Command. Of course, that particular issue attracts dopes across the spectrum, from Lauren Boebert all the way to Tommy Tuberville, who in this case makes Lauren look as smart as an MTG. Bidenomics is a spectacular success story that Incumbent President Joe Biden is riding all the way to… a dead heat. How does that work? Well, Fox News, for one, who not only support Trump over Biden, they support Trump uber alles. And, as always, it would be nice if Dems got arrayed, even the ones who have a point. Ketanji Brown Jackson is the new champion of originalism in the Supreme Court. That’s okay by Samuel Alito, he doesn’t need it anymore now that he has the majority. Democrats think they can tell Sam what to do, according to Joan McCarter, but making Sam do it is another matter. If you want the Republican House to do anything, you’ll have to find them first. More defendants in the Trump documents case means more chances to flip on Trump, but also more opportunities to delay. 

Person for all seasons, even those Eastern Orthodox ones, David Waldman welcomes eminent herdsperson of pundits and polls Greg Dworkin for today’s Month Closing, Week (But Strong) Opening KITM: Donald Trump says that his Republican opponents might as well just give up. He’s right of course, every one of them is a loser. Just ask any of his challengers, and they’ll tell you. (If you can find any of them.) 71% of Gop voters stand with Trump even considering all his indictments and investigations. After all, that is what they are paying for. For over 50 years Ed Rollins has worked for losers. Ed knows losers and knows that Ron DeSantis is a loser. Donors are beginning to catch on that DeSantis isn’t going anywhere but down. Except for his Nazi and Confederacy supporters though. They have a thing for losers. Democratic Governor Andy Beshear did a lot for voting rights in Kentucky, which is one of the things Kentucky Republicans have against him. Beshear just might be the guy to “Mitch McConnell” Mitch McConnell. Wunderkind Jared Kushner grows up and finds that his Times Square property isn’t worth the dirt it sits on. Qatar still treats him like family. The Biden campaign might not be demoting lawyer Marc Elias, but rather refocusing him. Freshman jerk Derrick Van Orden picked on Congressional pages after a little too much beer and cheese with lobbyists. He can go bully kids in the private sector.

David Waldman releases a Surprise Superseding KITM. TFFG told his lackies to delete security footage at Mar-a-Lago, according to Jack Smith’s superseding indictment update released last night. Henchmen hid in closets, bushes and spoke in secret emojis, and yet somehow were still found out. New revelations are now emerging, each more hilarious than the last. The only one having it worse than Donald might be Ron DeSantis, who already ceded his religion and heritage to the giamopes, yet every day finds himself forced to prove that he’s a meaner dumbass than Trump.  It’s become a nice climate for raising mean dumbasses lately, as “Active club” hate groups pop up across the nation. Somehow Elon Musk is still having a tough time. Poor-man’s Steven Sagal, freshman Republican Derrick Van Orden chewed out a group of high school-aged Senate pages for not living up to his ideals, which include paying for his January 6 insurrection field trip with campaign cash and exposing… some other guy’s abnormal genitals to unsuspecting female officers. Speaking of streaming flow difficulties, actors, writers and fans are just beginning to feel the pain.

I, David Waldman, and Greg Dworkin return for a Thursday KITM. Mitch McConnell freezes while the rest of the world bakes. Carry a spatula in Arizona so that you don’t stick to the pavement. Forget about frying eggs on the sidewalk, you can poach them in the ocean. Canadian bacon is now creosote smoked. Even space aliens might not be able to save us soon. Kind of a bummer that Donald Trump’s cell will be airconditioned. Members of Jack Smith’s DC federal grand jury have started arriving at the Prettyman courthouse, while Elite Strike Force member Rudy Colludy Giuliani surrenders, his troops attempting to blend into the scenery. On the other hand, Trump’s present bunker seems to be getting pretty sweaty as he runs out of suicide mission volunteers.  But what about Billy Carter 2.0, Hunter Biden? Hunter’s plea deal exploded when lawyers on both sides assumed… and you know what happens when lawyers assume. Republicans figure they don’t need Biden convictions when accusations work just as well. Does anyone remember when Jared Kushner…? No, but maybe someday. Meanwhile Bidenomics is the most successful intervention since FDR’s New Deal, and as it is always the economy, stupid, Joe Biden has 2024 in a landslide of, well, maybe a point or two. Everyone’s surprised (But mostly Vladimir Putin) that Ukraine has been able to slowly turn around the war, as opposed to quickly dying. There are lessons to be learned here, and we better be learning them.

Greg Dworkin has a theme today, but it wasn’t UFO-mania, or even Rudy Colludy’s confession. Seems the Ron DeSantis campaing is sinking like a stone. Staff are being cut (some more pointedly than others), plagued by an horrific burn rate, terrible polls, and of course, his latest “education” disaster (which, thank God, even some conservatives find appalling) all combined to leave “DeSantis in Disarray.” In other good news, apparently there were eight subpoenas served in TFG’s Perv-a-Lago documents case. Even better, the youngs are smart and have their heads screwed on right. Tommy Tuberville is a jerk for many, many reasons. But there’s at least one new one that Glenn Kessler thinks is important enough to call him out about, but refuses (for some strange reason) to invoke the “dreaded” Pinocchio count for. We headed back to Ohio for more on their convoluted ballot initiative battle. Depending on who you are, Ohio’s Gop either desperately wants you to believe the August vote is about abortion and nothing else, or alternatively, not about abortion at all, thank you very much. And speaking of heading back, we pulled a procedural U-turn to revisit our own wild speculation about the effect of a government shutdown on the lunatic Gop’s impeachment plans. Where does the Judiciary’s funding come from? And what happens if it’s still unfunded when they want the Chief Justice to show up?

* David Waldman returns for a second consecutive day to KITM World Headquarters. He hasn’t changed out of his speedo and sunglasses yet, but I believe he’ll stick around for the week. Alabama shows our country hasn’t changed… It certainly shows that it plans to stay Alabama as long as possible and ignore SCOTUS in order to keep its 1in 4 Black population at 1 in 7 representation. Over in Virginia however, Arlington Public Schools won’t comply with their state’s anti-trans school board policy. Billionaire graft with Supreme Court Justices isn’t just handy for the legal favors, you know. Harlan Crow has turned his court bribes into a successful tax scam on the side. That’s billionaire business school 101. Oh, look at the time! House Republicans realized summer break is about here, so they plan to get 12 appropriations bills and an impeachment or two through before Friday. Unfortunately, those Republicans have will have to contend with the other Republicans in the Senate. DC is at peak chaos and destruction. Time to bring in Joan McCarter to call the shit show. Kevin McCarthy thinks he can be flexible, but he will never bend over far enough for the Freedom Caucus. And, they haven’t even begun to self-destruct on abortion and all things sexual.

David Waldman’s famous nom de plume, “Kagro X”, suddenly doesn’t have the cachet it once held, now that Elon is pasting “X” on everything. The old bird social media site is now an X media site, and its tweets are… Well, whoever cared what an X ever had to say anyhow? Greg Dworkin shows up with not one, but TWO Rafts O’ Stories™ The Gop is doing it wrong and doubling down. Ron DeSantis leads that effort, but that’s all he will be leading. Ron is burning through donations and campaign staff in order to maintain the lifestyle he’s accustomed to. The DeSantis reboot aims to be leaner and meaner, but mostly meaner. He’s certainly tightening up his number of followers. Florida students are set to learn that the reason slaves were always so happy was because of all the on-the-job training they received. Ron disavows ever saying anything that nice. Ohio’s August vote might demonstrate how a plurality of voters still favor democracy and humanity. DeSantis is presently running a distant second… or third, or fourth behind Donald Trump, who is running a not too distant, but not too close second behind President Joe Biden. Maybe the one to watch is Tim Scott, the Un-Trump. “None of the Above” isn’t faring well but does awfully once any names are attached. Donald Trump never understood what being a President means, and if reelected will guarantee that no one ever will again. Imagine what the Supreme Court will do for Trump next time… unless you are German, then that would be a little too much imagination. That reminds me, things keep happening elsewhere on Earth. Israeli lawmakers revoked their Supreme Court's authority to overturn government decisions. And, if you don’t know what Karl is doing in Ukraine, you don’t know half the story.

David Waldman is still out, partially submerged in crystal blue water off the West Indies, in the North Atlantic, somewhere due south of here. Tropical hedonism might have gone to his head by now, but last week David still cared about us enough to pre-record today’s KITM, adding welcome contributions by Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor! Lunatic Michigan Republican Party chair Kristina Karamo and eight others have been ordered to pay more than $58,000 because of their insane and malicious voter fraud claims, leaving the Michigan Gop maybe not enough to buy lunch this week. Gop signature collectors forged enough signatures to earn 79 felony charges. So, have they learned anything? Nah. Ottawa county declared that monkeypox vaccines only encourages monkeypox behavior, but reporting your boss to HR is just asking for trouble. Michigan fundamentalists rejoice in SCOTUS cutting LGBTQ rights yet blame women voters for giving them any rights in the first place. David goes deep into the strategies to save our friends and relatives from falling into radicalizing algorithm rabbit holes.   Minnesota hired its first Black police chief to begin addressing issues of racial profiling, and crime dropped. Maybe it was because half of the police force quit.

We’re on vacation this week, which means I’m only “working” three out of five days. But as you know, 3 out of 5 is 60%, and that’s enough to invoke cloture. The other 40% of the week is covered by re-runs. But not just any re-runs. They’re “Throwback Episodes!” Either because they’re so damned old, or because you’ll want to “throwback” some booze, to get over how bad the sound quality was in “those days.” Trust me, it’s better than a “throw-up episode.” So today, we’re taking you all the way back to July 18, 2016. What a time! What a year! What were we doing? Well, since you ask... David Waldman begins KITM with a coffee break, you should too, it will be a busy week! Greg Dworkin brings us the pre-convention polls. Hillary’s in the lead now, let’s see what the Trump/Pence bump brings the Gop. Will convention star power destabilize what has been so far stable polling? Clinton leads Trump 76 -14 with Latinos. Mike Pence finds he must go from Indiana, but then falls into the Von Clownstick Zone.  Taunting insiders inadvertently drove Donald Trump to show us he could run for president. Trump has made America more racist. Republicans are OK with that. Donald Trump turns out to be a fictional character, but a genuine “asshole”. Experts contend that Trump is bad at the art of the deal, but a natural at spinning the truth.  Journalists discover their inner Murrows. Trump and kids named in a $250M Tax Scam. Therefore, Hillary Clinton must not be just defeated, she needs to be punished. Poisonous toads are instinctive enemies in the wild.

This vacation week is all about the “throwbacks.” Well, two shows are about it, anyway. But as you know, 60/40 is what pollsters call a “statistical dead heat.” Anyway, like Tuesday, this Thursday’s re-run is about taking us back to a time when we didn’t yet know just how bad TFG was going to make things. We had an inkling. We just… didn’t think he’d get the chance. Remember those days? Well, we recorded them: David Waldman brings us up-to-date on all of the news and politics — no copying! The RNC convention tonight should feature Donald and Melania’s cover of “Something Stupid”. (But probably won’t.) Instead, it will be another night of terror. A Donald Trump minion falls on her sword for Melania. How Melania Trump’s speech veered off course and caused an uproar. Greg Dworkin rounds up the polling. So, who’s going to be president? And, who’s going to win the presidency? Hillary Clinton is the star of the Republican convention. Even Trump’s nomination doesn’t wow the crowd like Clinton. Only Hillary Clinton interests them. Their priority is to punish a Clinton. After the convention, immigration, guns and abortion will be wedge issues. With no alternative, a Gop policy leader comes to terms with Trump. You can elect Trump, but you can’t make him president. Joan McCarter emerges from the convention hell-hole to talk for a while. Joan picks Tiffany as the best Trump, the sons tying for creepiest. It is a close contest. Follow Joan back into the hell-hole on the Daily Kos RNC open thread for the latest! Chris Christie’s Kangaroo Court is a glimpse of a Trumpian future. With Trump's help, NJ Republicans pay Bridgegate legal fees. Christie says Trump could purge the government of Obama appointees. Megyn Kelly steps forward with allegations against Roger Ailes, so it might be time for him to pack up his $40,000,000 and head out the door. Ryan Bundy braids 15 feet of bedsheets, 213 feet short of his goal.

This week, David Waldman, sometimes known as “Kagro X”, arrived in the Bahamas, explored a host of diverse undersea flora and fauna, took in the exciting nightlife and made his mark in the hustle and bustle of the local culture, all in less than a week! Kagro will return… Monday. However, David did record another one-hour KITM Vacation Special, featuring Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor! I exaggerate a little on this blog... However, a bored Chinese housewife was ten billion times worse, spending years creating an entire alternate Russian history on Wikipedia. Insurance companies won’t insure schools who arm their teachers because they don’t make money when they make dumb decisions. South Koreans have found that they have become younger recently, but in relative terms you will find that time moves slower in North Korea than anywhere else on earth. Susie Wiles, lobbyist for China, audience for Donald Trump, is also the daughter of Pat Summerall. Brazil’s supreme court ruled that Jair Bolsonaro abused his political power, attacked the electoral system and misused the media, and thus banned him holding political office for the next eight years. Apparently, Jair should have invested more in his judiciary. While the Michigan Republican party continues to FO, FA, and FA and FO some more, Democrats, the people in charge, pass historic voting rights legislation.

Kagro in the Morning is not so “Live!” this week. Jet-setting honcho of KITM Worldwide Enterprises David Waldman is reportedly “Live!” in the Bahamas  David did say that’s where he went, but other than that one picture, no one is even quite sure what Mr. Waldman looks like. No one is certain also about “Proud Democrat, a former field organizer for President Joe Biden and volunteer for the Obama Foundation”, Erica Marsh, but whoever she is, she is probably not any of those. (David however did record three brand-new 1 hour shows!  One is for today, the next for Wednesday, July 19, and the last drops Friday, July 21. We are back with full, live two-hour KITMs on Monday, July 24!) Fake left-wing troll Erica Marsh was kicked off Twitter, while real right-wing trolls are now making loads of cash. January 6 insurrectionists have been hauling it in as well, but the government they turned against wants to claw it back. Meanwhile, victims of gun violence still recovering from visible and invisible wounds are forgotten. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has recorded reports for all of this week’s shows! The ball-busting, rib-cracking Michigan Republican civil war worsens, with maniac Gop Leader Kristina Karamo throwing away millions of RINO money connected to the last Republican Governor Rick Snyder, whose cash doesn’t smell as good as someone’s like William U. Parfet.

Another day on the road — actually, on the quad — which means we jump back in time 364 days, and roll out our July 14, 2022 episode for an “encore performance.” Why July 14th? Because it turns out I was on the road last July 13th, too! It’s just my way of getting a reverse-Eastern Orthodox jump on Bastille Day, I guess. Confused? Well, luckily for you, in “today’s” episode, I explain where I was and why. Where I was last year, that is. Where I am this year, you’ll have to wait until next reverse-Eastern Orthodox Bastille Day to find out. But here’s how we spent regular Bastille Day last year: David Waldman returns today from his local tour of giant statues honoring intermediate presidents, including a quick stop at the Senator Robert A. Taft Carillon. Not yet installed: The Senator Ted Cruz Swine Pavillion, and Senator Josh Hawley Transphobia Odeum. KITM Anglophiles, Yankee Brexiteers and Boris haters have questions, and Greg Dworkin is here with the answers, and the polls! Update:  The Republican story on the 10-year-old Ohio girl raped and pregnant first was "It's all a lie!", then, "Maybe she's a slut?", then, "Oh, so her rapist was an illegal alien!", to "We should probably execute her doctor." Stay tuned! The Herald-Tribune do have standards but can’t help it if their writers’ are too low, or their readers’ are too high. Fairfax County police drew guns on a juvenile recording on smartphone, because no one knows more than cops just how much pain those things can cause. It turns out that Mark Meadows caused all those bad things on January 6. Could Steven KG Bannon and Donald Trump be partially to blame for not reigning him in when they had the chance? Lindsey Graham, Juris Doctor, gets law-schooled. The Proud Boys, QAnon and The Oath Keepers all went where they were aimed. Senators in both parties who want to prevent the next Jan. 6 are not waiting for the select panel’s verdict.

Wow, it feels just like a Tuesday… said probably no one...  except us KITM listeners! That’s because we all look forward to David Waldman welcoming Joan McCarter and her latest analysis of DC machinations. Republican machinations usually involve impeding, obstructing, debilitating and devaluing the machinery of government. They only keep the government running so that they can continue to threaten to shut it down.  The stench of corruption grows around the Supreme Court, as it is revealed that Clarence Thomas’ Horatio Alger story isn’t rags to riches as much as it is whatever story billionaires want to tell Clarence before they tuck him in at night. North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum will give out $20 gift cards to the first 40,000 people who give him a dollar to be president. Vivek Ramaswamy hopes to outbid Burgum for their affection. Tommy Tuberville is totally against non-white racists. Republican women learn that their complicity will not protect them. School boards elected to fight Covid lockdowns then moved to fight against teaching black history and are presently against LGBTQ history. It’s pretty hard to teach history anymore. James Comer’s “Hunter Biden whistleblower” turns out to be an arm-dealing Chinese spy, somehow making Comer seem trustable, at least in comparison. TFFG wants a delay in his classified documents case, a forever delay if possible, or at least until he has time to judge the case himself. Meanwhile, Putin welcomed back his mutinous commanders, giving them all big kisses and sending them on their merry way.

Unlike next week, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here this week, except for Thursday... More on that later, but first, in the Barbie news, Vietnam, and Republicans are incensed over Barbie’s pinko leanings. The problem is, you never know if China is also playing. Are you threading? You or 100 million someones you know have already begun to thread.  Sure, that giant mass of Meta subscribers mostly flowed from their app of images over to their app of ideas, but it is that same giant mass that will eventually draw in the interesting ideas. So, if we all follow the news on Threads, the news will follow all of us over to Threads. And Elon Musk loses, so there’s also that. Tucker Carlson picked a bad time and place to be a MAGA superstar. Of course, his biggest mistake was being Tucker Carlson. It’s getting tougher for MAGA supporters every day. John Eastman is facing disbarment. Gop states quit the program that fights voter fraud, believing pretending there is a threat is better for them than facing it. School board members elected in rage over Covid school closings now busy themselves fighting culture wars. MAGA in Michigan have found governing to be a real kick in the balls. It’s now become a place where a guy with a doll in a noose might find it difficult to get elected. Republicans hoping for inflation and the economy to sweep them into office will soon have egg on their faces. Anyone with money can still buy a judge, however. Donald Trump thinks Kari Lake has become a little too easy. When do you comply with police, and when do you punch them? The answer is complex… wait, no it isn’t.

It’s Friday, and David Waldman performs a solo, all acoustic set: It’s a slow news week, so the Right has got to freak… Cocaine. They found some blow, they know it must be Joe... Cocaine. Who’s the bad guy, the good guy, the fall guy? Cocaine! The Supreme Court endowed White Christians with rights mulcted from the LGBTQ on the basis of imaginary damages. Were Justices being played, or were they playing along? Please explain... Why can’t Justices be cross-examined? Why can’t they even be questioned? (David explains.) I guess the only solution is to get more of them. A Trump-appointed district court judge in Louisiana issued an injunction against the White House working with social media companies to combat disinformation, following the precedent of legal minds Elon Musk and Joe Rogan. This will do more harm than good, which is probably the intent. Meanwhile the Gop is set to defund and dismantle any equal application of any law. Mark Zuckerberg’s Twitter killer is killing twitter, as would be expected when a few thousand disgruntled employees became gruntled over at Meta. Canada declares war on Zuck. Marjorie Traitor Greene picked on the wrong person this time: Lil’ Lauren Boebert. Joe Biden laughs. On the other hand, Yevgeny Prigozhin isn’t going anywhere, he’s a made man.

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and all of us at KITM Worldwide wish all of you a very merry Christmas, and a joyful July 6: About a million people per hour are signing up to Meta’s Twitter, Threads. A lot of them have been on the rebound from their Twitter breakups, many have been biding their time in “side relationships”, while others have been waiting for Twitter to drop them first. A million people are on Facebook and Instagram at this very moment, telling each other they are too smart to sign up for a Zuckerberg social media platform. Some are looking at Threads and have found it wanting in its first hours out of beta. Others haven’t been able to find it on their internets. Threads will get better. Twitter will get worse. Americans just like to dislike things. They don’t love to hate things, though, which is where Ron DeSantis went wrong. DeSantis can’t be more Trump than Trump, even if Donald probably wishes he had thought of Ron’s alimony solution earlier. Mike Pence doesn’t really buy into that “rich need to pay their fair share” thing, might pardon Donald Trump, might finally soon have his mouth flap zipped. Meanwhile, Wisconsin Govenor Tony Evers used his veto scalpel to increase school funding annually for the next 400 years. Some already expect workarounds on the latest Supreme Court decisions and have been preparing in advance. Few expected them to overturn a 47-year-old precedent, however. The lawyer who presented a fake villain for that case isn’t the kind to look back.

Another day after another National Lee Greenwood Day, and just like last year David Waldman is presenting a yet another KITM under the cloud of more mass shootings and the rain of falling celebratory bullets. Greg Dworkin believes that it’s time to rescue those freedoms that we celebrate. A rogue, corrupt, and dumbass Supreme Court abolishes freedoms and strangles democracy. President Joe Biden could do something about it, and he probably is, but talking about things sometimes gets in the way of doing things. Joe is happy to do either, and is pretty adept at picking the right choice. Biden is on to Plan B for student debt. Bidenomics is turning out great, but not enough people know that. The markets feel it though. One form of affirmative action is no longer available because of SCOTUS, so maybe we should look into the others. Like it or not, Biden vs. Trump II is on. And like usual, Trump is losing. Not like DeSantis is losing, but still. Some Republicans believe a dozen or so impeachments will turn everything around. Donald Trump figures a dozen or so sets of gallows might do the trick. The White House might want to fight the forces of disinformation heading into this election, but a federal judge won’t let them. On the good side, Jack Smith is still picking through the classified document crime scene, and no one has stopped the prosecution of January 6 insurrectionist-tourists. Hey look! A Good Guy With A Gun citizen-shot a mass shooter! Except that the Bad Guy With A Gun only a shot a window before his gun jammed. And the GGWAG only then returned and shot the BGWAG… but a win is a win, right?

Happy July 4th! Yes, we’re doing a re-run. Joan was off for the day, and I had Scott down on my calendar as being out for the day, too. So I figured I’d sleep in celebrate America. I had to go with the July 5th episode from last year. Not just because I also took last July 4th off, but also because there really was an important thing to remember and acknowledge: Last July 4th was the Highland Park parade mass shooting. I can't believe we're not all still talking about a July 4th parade shooting! But we did last year. And here’s how we did it: David Waldman and KITM welcome everyone back from the 4th of July weekend. Injured? Shot? No? Then you did better than a lot of people. At a parade in Highland Park, Illinois, a guy climbed onto a roof and used his assault rifle for its intended purpose, which had also been his intended purpose for weeks. He left 6 dead, 30 injured, and then headed home, where he was gently apprehended by local law enforcement. The local law enforcement attending the parade could not be contacted for comment, or much else. The Chicago White Sox say this is why we can’t have nice things. As always, normal people have normal reactions to this, and abnormal people have abnormal reactions. Highland Park is the last place you’d expect this to happen. It’s definitely the last place Clarence Thomas expected it to happen. Highland Park wasn’t the only holiday mass shooting. It wasn’t even the only one in the Chicago area. There was panic at a Philadelphia, Pennsylvania fireworks show after shots rang out... Police were somehow injured, and a bullet somehow found its way into a cop’s hat. Philadelphia’s mayor is just tired of this stuff. (These weren’t the only fireworks shows with guns or panic, either.) Then there’s the mass shooting in Akron, Ohio. Although in this case, a mass of police were shooting a mass of bullets into just one guy, Jayland Walker. All of this adds up to… well, who knows, but don’t ask Nikki Haley, that’s for sure. The marshal of the Supreme Court wants to crack down on people making noise around the Justices’ houses, and also the people not making noise. Election deniers head out to the offices of their local officials who they know “respond to fear”. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court will dispose of everyone from Originalists to Schoolhouse Rock by redefining the meaning of “Legislature”.

By a 2-0 decision, voting along ideological lines, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin decided on making a Monday KITM: The Supreme Court ended affirmative action. Americans are divided on the court’s colorblind decision, literally by shade. Clarence Thomas gifted the US military and penal systems the Black people they need, well, for their own good, and to finally win that argument that he had back in college. Also, to teach Anita Hill, Ketanji Brown Jackson, etc. a thing or two.  Justice Jackson saw through all that and let Thomas know. Of course, these dissents are just liberal tears if nothing is done. It’s the era of judicial “pretzeling”… if that means lying and omissions to justify decisions. North Carolina Republicans are too extreme for even this Supreme Court and are still planning to burn it all down following the court’s decision. The first thing Jack Smith will do is come for the Lawyers. Will Bidenomics both help out people in rural communities… and convince rural voters to vote Democratic?

Doesn’t today feel like a Friday? David Waldman thinks so and prepares us for the weekend, although in the back of his head David’s preparing for his upcoming vacation week swimming with the pigs off Little Exuma... which reminded him of the sixth largest island in the Hawaiian archipelago, colloquially known as “Pineapple Island”, Lana’i. Did you know that “Lanai” is an architectural feature, prominent in southern states, a sort of a patio with a roof, or an unenclosed porch? That reminded David of… Say, this does feel like a Friday, doesn't it? Anyhow, David was reminded of that Florida man and his wife lighting up the pool boy with thirty AR-15 rounds when he turned up late one night. That dude sure messed with the wrong lanai. Where were we? Oh yes, the Supreme Court. They saved America for Asian Americans yesterday by routing a new generation of Black people into the Armed Forces and the prison system. Clarence Thomas finally got to win that argument he had back in college, just to have fellow Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson “OK Boomer” him. This could encourage more people to read up on Black History, but what college is going to teach it to them? Then again, who can afford to go? Then SCOTUS cut LGBTQ protections in favor of religious liberties. Really, the weekend can’t come soon enough for those guys.

Are you back for more? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have got some more if that’s what you came looking for. TFFG wants everyone to remember that he is a moron and a liar, because that’s the only way he’ll get out of his mess. Unfortunately for Trump, he was caught on tape, knowingly telling the truth. Worse yet, Donald was forthright and self-aware in front of a witness, Susie Wiles, who MAGA will soon tie to Trump haters Ron DeSantis, Ronald Reagan, and Giants placekicker Pat Summerall. Donald Trump hasn’t given up on being truly, epically stupid yet, a strategy that has served him his entire lifetime. All Joe Biden has is quiet competence and a snoring problem, and you know which one of those most interests the Media. People who “disapprove” of Biden will probably eventually vote for him. Never Trumpers won’t have any other choice. The greatest minds behind the Trump Supreme Court could not rationalize independent state legislature theory... yet. They’re still working on it, and don’t worry they’ll come up with something. Now affirmative action, they’ve contemplated that most of their lives, and knew just what to do when they were given the chance. The overthrow of Russia is over. All hail Vladimir Putin! That’s optional, of course, but Russian leaders who choose not to shall face some tough questions, and some hard pavement several stories below them. It might be time to kick Russia while it’s down.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are ready for anything today, or nothing, whatever comes, or doesn't! Donald Trump can explain that tape with him bragging about having classified information, demanding people without clearance view the material, and admitting the illegality of it all. Trump points out that he has always been a lying moron, who randomly says things which are sometimes true, and absolutely no one knows what he could blurt out next.  Classified, unclassified, declassified… Donald doesn’t know and does not care. Whichever has the most bravado is what he’s looking for. That Iran memo was not among the 31 records in Trump’s federal indictment. What was Jack Smith thinking? The thing is, Jack Smith doesn't have to tell you what he’s thinking, but you can bet the goings on at Bedminster is a bigger part of it than he’s presently letting on. Kevin Reek McCarthy is almost smart enough to not blurt out everything going on in his head but will require a bit more training and discipline. The Gop is working on giving everyone a lot less history to remember. The US is far more globally popular under Joe Biden, and Biden’s support of Ukraine has a solid majority behind it. Biden’s economy has support from even the most conservative, although they won’t admit it, but maybe the word is beginning to get out to the public. That is why the election is inexplicably close, because of the doubters, the double doubters, the spoilers and the independents… at least we can all agree that Ron DeSantis sucks.

The big news today: David Waldman talked Greg Dworkin into hanging out with us for three segments! A win-win for all of us involved! It’s morning in Russia, or at least a wakeup call. Russians hit the snooze button and rolled over as Yevgeny Prigozhin’s Wagner troops rolled up to Moscow, then dozed off themselves. So now what? Whatever it is, Ukraine probably likes it. Kevin McCarthy is relieved that finally Putin has learned his lesson. Kevin McCarthy is confused about a lot of things. Impeach everybody? Or, expunge all previous impeachments? Why don’t we expunge the previous presidency, eliminating the corruption in the Supreme Court, and pre-righting the precedent on Roe? The remaining justices and the Gop would be thankful for returning their honor… at least to their previous status. The pro-choice movement has never been stronger, but of course people would rather have “choice” than “the movement”. Meanwhile, as expected, the court tossed the Trump DC hotel records case, and as not expected, cleared the way for Louisiana to draw a second majority-Black congressional district. Do you remember when you were growing up? Nikki Haley and MAGA apparently can’t and don’t want to. Not enough people are miserable enough to vote for Donald Trump, and fewer still are available for Ron DeSantis, because then they’d have to be miserable, deplorable and yet college educated. Joe Biden is ahead of TFFG with the non-miserable, non-deplorable, college educated, women, Latinos, independents, youth, etc.. Trump could drag down the Republicans, but on the other hand, Democrats are pretty good at losing.

Well, we have the upshot of the Lauren Boebert impeachment stunt now, and it’s more or less as expected. Shelved until further notice. So much for her super-smart plans for immediate action! On the other side of the coin, there’s finally a little progress toward accountability for Jan. 6 for John Eastman. The Gop cries foul and demands… something… about Hunter Biden. Again. Would more serious gun charges have helped them? Or hurt them? Seems the authorities were onto the idea that Bedminster needed searching, too. Good! A Gop guy you probably don’t remember, but who has been semi-mad at Trump has filed some paperwork that means you’re supposed to pay attention to him. Another Gop guy you probably don’t know — unless you’re from North Carolina and into corruption and group sex — is the subject of some paperwork, too. In another crystalline example of the perils of “why-don’tcha-just-ism,” please enjoy this second Gop failure to “build the wall.” And, for weekend thinkers: COVID’s not over and never will be, unless we think systemically, and; what happens when “normal” people take national security documents home with them.

David Waldman’s meeting went great, and Russ Stauffer likes us, which is also great, although I don’t believe David told us about the meeting or Russ on today’s KITM. David did however bring on Greg Dworkin, who may not know the answers to those questions, but does know the answers to almost all of the other questions, which is great. Former British PM Liz Truss apparently doesn’t have a head for politics, nor comedy. Justice Samuel Alito apparently hasn’t listened to many good alibis. Other than all the dying, the worst thing about reading all those articles about accidental shootings is seeing all the same tropes being used to avoid assigning any blame. AI was finally employed for good, to put the fear of Baphomet into God-fearing Hobby Lobby customers. Remember TFFG, Donald Trump? The “defendant” hasn’t had all that much fun lately. Trump’s plan is to crime maximally in order to reach escape velocity from his previous crimes. This is a brilliant plan, at least for Chris Christie, who can count on having more fun than just about anyone over the upcoming year. Outlawing abortion was always a wrong idea, including politically. The Gop is full of those ideas recently, censoring Adam Schiff for getting on their bad side, and planning on impeaching anyone whose name they can spell… and Joe Biden has a pretty easy to spell name. Even Lauren Boebert can spell that name. Marjorie Taylor Greene sure can spell Lauren’s name.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman celebrates the first day of summer, his mother’s (Momma X) birthday and the return of Greg Dworkin, here to supply a full hour of welcome cooperative overlap. (Except when Greg interrupts David mentioning me.) As the (very) submersible Titan continues its three-hour tour of the bottom of the Atlantic carrying Thurston Howells I through V onboard, signs of life might have been detected. Keep rocking till someone comes a’ knocking! It turns out that Hunter Biden is indeed guilty. Hunter feels guilty too and admits that, which isn't how a Republican would handle it, so they’re pretty angry right now. Justice Samuel Alito shows how it’s done, by drafting a pre-confession in support of ProPublica’s reporting on Sam’s grafty hijinks with his Republican megabuddy Paul Singer. Hurt and Angry voters are descending upon polling places. What's up with those people? It’s a tough time to be a competent non-demagogic public servant, or even the opposite. Donald Trump also has his popularity problems, but once elected plans to make popularity and voting concerns of the past. In the meantime, the Fifth Circuit federal court is coming for the First Amendment and Marjorie Traitor Greene, Lauren Boebert, etc. fill their empty hours filing impeachments.

David Waldman and we at KITM Worldwide wish you all a pleasant and thoughtful day following this Juneteenth. The submersible Titan showed it could submerge with the best of them, now going missing close to the wreckage of the Titanic on one of those ill-advised short tours with 5 passengers. With Donald Trump’s classified documents trial actually kind of coming up soon, TFFG is scrambling to get his “I’m just stupid AF” defense quickly disseminated with the help of Fox News. Vladimir Putin attempted to assassinate a defecting counterspy in Miami Florida. Second-worst human on Earth, Andrew Tate has finally been indicted on human trafficking and rape charges in Romania. Second-dumbest Republican in DC, Tommy Tuberville won’t release his hostage until he is given first place. Democrats can change the rules, but the new rules will just be out-dumbed. Joan McCarter reports how Democratics embrace the unwritten rules as the Republicans abuse any written ones they can find. The Gop doesn’t want anyone looking at their disinformation before they get it just perfect.

David Waldman and the KITM Worldwide staff wish everyone a pleasant and thoughtful Juneteenth. Greg Dworkin steers a raft o’ stories our way but wasn’t about to strain his voice and miss his chance to sing Vesti La Giubba at the Met, therefore he only stuck around for a half hour. Greg did take the chance to remind us that TFFG won’t get away with his crimes, or at least some of them, during his lifetime. Some of Trump’s crimes will require a lot more than a mere lifetime to punish him. But... shouldn’t we all be nice and pardon Donald Trump? After all, isn’t this all really due to Donald Trump’s beautiful mind’s love of boxes? That, and his sociopathic amorality and compulsive recidivism? Some in the Gop actually want to lay off working the refs for Trump for a while, while some are still into bringing in John Durham for a media disinformation op. Whoever wins out, the New York Times will always be there to back them. For some reason, so will the FBI and DOJ. Republicans prove they can multi-debilitate government with the faith of supportive nihilists. The Gop are ready to fix anything that doesn’t need fixing. Meanwhile, President Joe Biden is out there curing cancer.

David Waldman makes it to the weekend! Oh, and look, we’re here too. TFG is of course, unusually buoyant, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not sinking. This might seem like the last million times Donald Trump stepped in it, but this time by golly, Trump is in trouble. More Gop talking points are failing, more Gop rats are swimming for shore. Even Judge Aileen Cannon is getting antsy. You might ask, how does this spell trouble for the Biden administration? Well, perhaps you aren’t asking that, but Republicans sure are. Republicans might never have a lot of evidence or logic, but they always have a lot of questions. And a lot of practice confusing their being prosecuted for being persecuted. They’ll feel better once everything goes their way… although that will take some doing. Donald had all sorts of problems finding the legal advice that he was looking for, until he quit asking lawyers for advice. Unfortunately for Trump, the other side still uses lawyers, who continue to concentrate on his breaking of laws. Airman Jack Teixeira only wanted to win arguments with teenagers, but it looks as if the law will be a problem for him as well. Meanwhile, MAGA wants the shutdown that Kevin McCarthy stole from them, and doesn’t plan to wait two long years to get it.

David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin for only a half-hour of collaborative overlap this morning, to give him a chance to recuperate.  Donald Trump was indicted and arraigned earlier this week, and the dumb hasn’t yet begun to die down. Trump’s trial can’t come soon enough… seriously, it should have happened years ago. Jack Smith could sidestep Aileen Cannon by charging Trump elsewhere, but why not charge him with something new? Critical evidence against Trump came from his own lawyers, which is about the only way they could get someone to listen to them. Why should Donald or any of his supporters care what anyone says at this point? One way or the other, it’s all downhill from here. The odds of government shutdown continue to grow as Republicans devise new ways to take and hold hostages. Dick Durbin says it would be tempting to not act like a sap, if only he wasn’t one. The Pyrex/Instant Pot bankruptcy story continues to explode, raining molten shards of nostalgia and speculation all over social media. Pyrex did sellout, but PYREX is still the GOAT, if you can find it. Red Delicious apples were never about you, but all about the marketing. The First Minister of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, surprised everyone by resigning, then really shocked everyone with her recent arrest. Boris Johnson didn’t surprise anyone with his resignation, finally. Oklahoma Republicans are lending a hand to the Trump Supreme Court to destroy the separation of church and state. The “LIV” in LIV Golf actually stands for “54”, which does not refer to number of individual segments of Jamal Khashoggi left around Istanbul, but rather the reduced playtime of their tournaments. A guy who dreamt of intruders in his home naturally became victim to a .357 Magnum nocturnal discharge. George Santos’ lawyer might beat him to jail.

David Waldman, and we, go for yet another day without Greg Dworkin, especially his collaborative interruptions. Greg’s still here in spirit however, as is his raft of stories.  One term, twice impeached, twice indicted, manifold humiliated Donald Trump was arraigned yesterday. If Donald quit being a criminal, this would quit happening to him. His supporters like him like that though, and neither they nor he will ever change. Now the case moves on to… Judge Aileen Cannon? Of course, Cannon should recuse herself, but that would require a level of judgement Judge Cannon has not yet demonstrated. The economy turned out to be a good hostage for Republicans, so Tommy Tuberville will try it this time with the Military. Illinois Governor JB Pritzker banned book banning for libraries in his state. The Saudis gave the PGA an offer they couldn’t refuse, and the Senate will be investigating how that came about. Today’s F-eulogy is for Silvio Berlusconi. A trend we might all look forward to. Sadly, Pyrex might soon pass away, as its endurance made it obsolete in a venture capitalist society.

Sure, it’s National Arraignment Day, but that’s not happening until, you know, after the show. So who cares? Besides, we should be — or should have been — more concerned about child labor. Or labour. Or how to spell it. Or perhaps our real concern should be with more basic child welfare. Because MAGA has infected Canada, and now we have creepy grandma and grandpa duos sexually harassing 9-year-old school girls, because freedoms. Soorry, eh? Today, we spent a little time talking about how bad assigning TFG’s case to Judge Aileen Cannon could be. But because crazy judges can just… do whatever… there’s no way of knowing how far off the rails we might go. And it’s not like the crazy stops with the judges. (As though that were somehow a comforting thought!) It’s all over the Gop mainstream. And if you stop to call it out when you see it, you become the next target. One comforting note: there was a surprise win for voting rights in the SCOTUS, recently. Better still, Joan McCarter came on to discuss it! And if there’s still any room for improvement here, check out her theory that it might just be public pressure that’s behind the victory. Want one more pleasant turn of the karmic wheel before you go? The House Ethics Committee is now free to reopen the investigation into Matt Gaetz. And they actually did it!

Join David Waldman and KITM Worldwide as we celebrate International Falafel Day! Normally Greg Dworkin would be here singing falafel carols with us, but apparently his special appearance on Friday’s KITM took it out of him and he’s out today. Get well soon! I was out the last time that Donald Trump was indicted! Either I need more days off, or Trump needs more indictments. Read the full text of the latest Trump indictment in the classified documents case. Are you not entertained? Trump has never been associated with subtlety and nuance and this will definitely not be the beginning. If you think this case is open and shut now, just wait until you hear the rest of what Jack Smith has to tell you… and the considered and rational Republican response… and their follow-up. Of course, Judge Aileen Cannon could see this all differently, as she is wont to do. Scottland’s former leader, Nicola Sturgeon, has also been arrested, and also says she’s innocent of any wrongdoing, but with less caps. Donald Trump’s spiritual bunga bunga, Silvio Berlusconi, is bunga bunga no more. Like Silvio and Donald, Russia has a few ardent supporters, and some who aren't. One way or another, their supporters are dropping like flies.

It’s already an unusual thing to do a Friday show that feels like a Thursday. After all, it’s not the first time that circumstances have warranted a special Friday appearance from Greg Dworkin. But this is, I think, our first Friday that felt like a Thursday that came following a Thursday that felt like a Friday. The top news of the day, of course, was that SCOTUS had ruled in favor of Jack Daniel’s, against its poop-themed dog toy-producing tormentors. No, wait. It was that the Austin real estate developer involved in the Ken Paxton bribery had been arrested. No, wait. That’s just what the Dallas Morning News thought. It was actually that TFG had been indicted — under the Espionage Act, among other statutes — just as expected. So naturally, Republicans everywhere began continued losing their minds. The transcript of TFG’s Bedminster confession was kind of interesting, too. Both for what it made overt, and for the deeper meaning. James Watt is dead! Tip of the hat for the introduction to the term, “f**k-eulogy.” You’ll never believe it, but the “Cyber Ninjas” were a fraud! This, revealed by the release of a cache of 30,000+ emails, ironically enough — if that sounds familiar. TFG also raided the Treasury for a million bucks, it turns out. In case that, too, sounds familiar. Just so you’ll know for the weekend: George Santos’ lawyer was in the January 6 mob. And for Friday esoterica, a theory on why food prices rise in general, and so much of late in particular. Plus a sort-of-related story about how “the system” tried to hand us a single, crappy apple, when we now know there was so much more and better available.

Today’s show felt so complete that by the end, I thought it was Friday! It was the end of the week for Pat Robertson, though. And another day of under the cloud of a mass fire, as well. But Greg Dworkin had other things on his mind. First, the wingnut temper tantrum in the House that has their own messaging bill agenda languishing in limbo, and “leadership” pointing fingers at one another. Hey, OK! Next, they can start killing rules for appropriations bills, if they want. A little later, we moved on to the original orange blob menacing the country in multiple jurisdictions, this time with his espionage. For some context, here’s the story of a guy who just got sentenced to three years in the clink for this. At least Mike Pence won’t have to vote for that guy, though. If you haven’t heard enough about what a problem Chris Licht types are, Perry Bacon has more. Hairdo Alex Jones is already getting sued by Fox. And in the “things to consider for the weekend, even though it’s not the weekend yet” section: Are pro golfers who spoke out publicly against the Saud regime going to be safe playing in the PGA, now that the Sauds own half of it? Is “peer-reviewed publication” the next big college admissions scam? They’re not the only ones to blame for diminishing the value of academic research.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin arrive at the middle of the week to deliver the KITM, but the smoke is so thick it’s hard to read the house numbers... Canadian wildfires have given 100 million Americans incentive to wear their COVID masks this morning. No Schoolhouse Rock can explain this. The MAGA wing of the House, so screwball that Marjorie Traitor Greene is not screwball enough for them anymore, scuttled their own screwball bills, from enshrining gas stoves to defending the cherished accessorizing of firearms. Foreign nationals are kidnapped, and smuggled across state borders, while the perpetrator flees to the border. Why doesn’t the news report on this? Because they are too busy calling terrorists “emboldened shoppers”. Fair and balanced paste eater Chris Licht’s work at CNN seems to have ended before he could set up another Trump town hall. Donald Trump, who did not rape a woman that one time, might still face some lingering legal hurdles. A Florida grand jury will be hearing testimony from an assortment of MAGA Mar-a-Lago henchmen, lackies and homework-eating dogs. Saudi Arabia attempts to improve their public image by trashing professional golf’s. They got it half right.

Luckily for all of us today, David Waldman and Joan McCarter do make house calls.  Temu-Palin Lauren Boebert may not be certain where babies come from, but even Maury Povich could have told her which member of WWE tag team Midnight Express was not her father. Donald Trump hopes to stop the second E. Jean Caroll defamation case.  Trump hopes to stop special counsel Jack Smith from indicting him on his Mar-a-Lago crimes. Trump hopes to stop that other Federal grand jury in Florida from indicting him on his Mar-a-Lago crimes. If Trump had a dog, his diet would be 100% evidence by now. Who has it worse, Musk or Trump lawyers? At least for now Musk lawyers are being paid to admit the truth.  Eric Jensen found that he could receive attention and validation for being a lunatic, simply by choosing to act out at school board meetings. Marjorie Traitor Greene gets all that and even paid to act bananas in the House. Unfortunately for Marge, she is no longer cuckoo enough for MAGA, especially once they saw her holding Kevin McCarthy’s ChapStick. The Freedom Caucus just wishes they got used lip-gloss out of their budget deal. Better luck next time!

It’s quiet… too quiet. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to fill the gap between not enough and too much news. CEOs must be smarter than their idiot employees, because if not, how could they explain their position? Those at the head of media companies must be the most brilliant, but also the most impartial and nonpartisan to succeed. CNN CEO Chris Licht believes he is just that person, although word around his shop indicates that Chris Licht eats paste. President Joe Biden knows the art of the deal, by separating those who wanted to deal from the MAGA. There’s now time to figure out the 14th Amendment and get back to work on all the other upcoming disasters in the 24 workdays between now and Labor Day. Donald Trump’s lawyers are over at the DOJ this morning fueling rumors Donald might… flip on himself? Maybe they’re just returning those Iran attack plans they found blowing down the fairway at Bedminster. A return to taking espionage seriously just might make America great again.

I missed you guys! I was only gone three days, but I’m not sure how anybody could take that. David Waldman is still here, right where I left him, thankfully.  On Monday it looked as if we might default this week. Now it looks like we will instead default in two years, that is if the Freedom Caucus is still around then. The US adds a big 339,000 jobs in May, exceeding estimates month after month just like President Joe Biden. Donald Trump, the Mona Lisa of persecuted White Christianity, is hoping to avoid those annoying prerequisites of achieving sainthood/dictatorship. Moral exemplar Roger Stone wants to lead the Christian Trumpists onward to… wherever they want to go to take whatever they want, a pretty traditional objective really. But first they’ll need to take on the forces of evil woke mermaids. It’s not sex nor money. The best way to get an idiot to spill information is to challenge their intelligence.  Donald Trump proved his intellect and judgment to a pair of randos with just some classified documents on Iran. Periodically, the smartest remaining Trump lawyer resigns, thus moving the peak of the bell curve over a few notches. It turns out that arranging to quickly kill the highest number of people wasn’t the best COVID health plan. James Comer might be on shaky legal ground on his investigation on Joe Biden, but all that legal stuff would just get in his and Chuck Grassley’s way.

Join us as Greg Dworkin assesses the guesses on how The Deal would go down in the House. (Spoiler: mostly correct!) And, of course, how the media did in covering it. (Spoiler: mostly incorrect!) But that’s more or less how the game is played. So, was there a deal between the party leaders to get this through? Depends who you ask! In fact, if you ask just the right questions, you’ll start to wonder whether the Gop even had a deal with itself. And since we’re not quite done with the debt ceiling just yet, here’s yet another good point about doing away with it. Meawhile, there’s some unrest afoot in Florida. Even in “conservative” areas. To no one’s surprise, DeSantis’ fascism just isn’t sitting well with everyone. And it seems the formula doesn’t always translate well when exported. There’s other news breaking in Florida, too. We’ll have to wait and see what else breaks along with it. In the surprise of the century, George Santos’ office is involved in some unethical, and possibly illegal, weirdness. Does today end in a Y? Yes? Well, in that case, here’s TFG confessing once again, on tape.

Today’s the day we all thought we’d be waiting for! The day Greg Dworkin had his first crack at the news of the week! Only it turns out we didn’t have to wait at all. And that the news was pretty much as Greg and Joan had predicted. In the end, it was mostly standard Gop budget fare. Nancy Mace got the attention she was craving, but only by feeding the narrative that Republicans are losers. That in turn fed counter-narratives that Biden had rolled ‘em. And, of course, that the whole thing was a terrible idea from the start. Then, the news turned weird. Tara Reade defected to Russia, which I didn’t know was still a thing. This fertility doc’s scheme was bound to fall apart. And so was his hand-made airplane, it turns out. No one would believe it, but that Florida mom trying to ban Amanda Gorman’s poem is mixed up in both anti-Semitism and with the Proud Boys! Things James Comer is losing: 1) witnesses; 2) marbles. In MAGA’s “good old days,” people knew to fight fascism, even when it was disguised as MAGA.

Longtime listeners know that it’s the daily rhythms of KITM World Headquarters that dominate the first few minutes of most shows. And today, it’s the end of an era, as we call a wrap on secondary education for the auxiliary production staff! But some cycles of life (and death) continue unabated. For instance, the ever-present Cloud of a Mass Shooting.™ And, of course, developments in Ukraine. Or more specifically, in Russia, as the battlefield is expanded, if not the battle itself. And we lean heavily on the APR today, even though Greg wasn’t here, and Greg didn’t even write Tuesday’s APR — so thanks to Chitown Kev for his unwitting contribution to the show! Naturally, the debt ceiling deal, including Manchin’s pipeline gambit and its attendant issues, followed by procedural developments in the Paxton impeachment. And, something we didn’t cover in yesterday’s abbreviated show: stuff from overseas lands where names are hard to pronounce. For today, that was Türkiye. The only possibly enjoyable angle on Ron DeSantis’ presidential bid: he’ll eventually have to attack Trump. Though it’s still possible that he’ll also fall down the stairs like Gerald Ford, too. For something completely different, and yet hearkening back to vague themes from episodes past, noted fist-pump-and-run enthusiast Josh Hawley is the latest to try to address the “crisis” of “masculinity” not with solutions, but with an eye toward exploitation. Joan McCarter once again defies the early West coast timeline and the crush of East coast job demands to join us for an update on the putative debt ceiling deal and to set up the mystery/cliff-hanger/dud of today’s House Rules committee meeting.

We at KITM Worldwide hope that you are at the beginning of a happy Memorial Day weekend and are experiencing a meaningful Memorial Day... But, don’t run away yet! We know that you love the process discussions on KITM, and that’s why you tune in. However, no one loves process discussions like Greg Dworkin loves process discussions. Greg used his considerable sway with top KITM brass to preempt this morning’s memorial observations and grill prep in order to help deliver today’s KITM Memorial Day Post Debt Ceiling One Hour Special with David Waldman.  So, what’s in this debt ceiling deal, and more importantly, who won? At the moment, it seems that the correct people are angry. Kevin McCarthy has too many loose cannons rolling around to call this a done deal. The House Rules Committee meeting on Tuesday will give a better idea of what a lousy vote counter McCarthy is. It will also give us better idea on what Hakeem Jeffries is made of. Accountability has not finally come to Texas. For all the wrong reasons, Ken Paxton was impeached, simply a pawn in a petty Republican feud. Ok by me.

On today’s Special Friday KITM, David Waldman reports on the local and national news, the murderers, pedophiles, arsonists and catfishers, the cops and the criminals. We are also reaching the denouement of our present debt ceiling crisis. It’s either that, or a smash cut to black next week. The Democrats brought the house down in the final act, although it could have used a little more “Trump”. It always helps to have a great opening act though. If you thought the Democrats were on fire, you should have seen the dumpster Texas Republicans threw AG Ken Paxton into. If anyone can place the bar low, it would be the Texas Gop. Nonetheless, Ken Paxton managed to go even lower, for years, until he finally got under it. Speaking of being finally held responsible, Oath Keepers Founder Stewart Rhodes has been sentenced to 18 years in prison. That shouldn’t be a problem for a tough guy like Stewie, at least until he runs into the other tough guys he in put in jail.  Lifelong warrior against the forces of responsibility and accountability, Donald Trump is caught in a pinscher movement of his own making,  from defrauding the US government to serving corruption around the world, to withholding classified documents, to hiding classified documents, to rehearsing the hiding and withholding classified documents. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that not only are Michiganders holding nine Trump lawyers accountable for their misconduct in the state, but they themselves have been demonstrating responsibility at the polls. Faculty members at the New College of Florida are voting to censure Ron DeSantis’ puppet Trustees for showing disinterest in performing their actual jobs. The Florida mom who sought to ban Amanda Gorman’s poem, yet approved the publication of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, asks how can a mom find the time to actually read all those things she promotes or obstructs? Georgia Gop Chair Kandiss Taylor has taken the time to read every one of the articles that unequivocally reflect her opinions, especially her opinion of a flat earth, and yet every day someone will try to shove their globes down her throat.

One lone Karen was behind the ban on Amanda Gorman’s poem. Though Karen was pretty sure it was Oprah Winfrey’s. Greg Dworkin rounds up the reviews panning DeSantis’ attempted Twitter-based campaign launch. Rough seas ahead for Medicaid enrollees, if the Gop gets its way. Republican voters do like their big dummies though. The Oregonian Gop is in fact proudly illiterate. The judge in the other E. Jean Carroll lawsuit against TFG suggests the DoJ might want to take a moment to reconsider how wise it is to continue to pretend Trump was acting in his capacity as “president,” when he opened his fetid gob. The dog has caught the car, and the car turned out to be a leopard. Dobbs unites Ds, splits Rs. Hey, remember the debt ceiling? While we wait for possible armageddon, here are yet more hot takes on our various options. By the way, did you remember that the debt ceiling and the filibuster are cousins? I don’t know if Mike Lee knew that when he threatened to filibuster any deal he doesn’t like, but it’s true. Apparently, people at Fox News actually do know that “no means no,” when it comes to turning the screws on Tucker Carlson, anyway. Which is fine! Noted for the record, but deferred for further consideration: Ken Paxton is too scummy for the Texas Gop!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! KITM Wednesday! Everyone expected Ron DeSantis to run for president. Except for maybe Ron DeSantis, who is probably pretty shocked that he did decide to go for it. Of course, if Ron did not run, $200 million would just be sitting in the bank, not going into anyone’s pockets, and what good is that? The actual surprise is that DeSantis will launch his presidential bid with Elon Musk, on Twitter. Here’s looking forward to the first DeSantis town hall on Tumblr. If CNN want to represent true journalism, they’d… but they don’t. There’s also Tim Scott announcing his candidacy. Yes, Republicans do enjoy their people of color (and women) as long as they’re smiling. Not enough to actually elect them, though. But who do the voters really want? Ok, but who else is there? Donald Trump will only be allowed to run for 20 minutes each morning during exercise time. Republican voters do like their big dummies though. The Oregonian Gop is in fact proudly illiterate. No one will be voting for anyone unless we rescue the economy soon. Which is a good a reason as any for Republicans to oppose saving it. They’d rather shoot their hostage than negotiate with President Joe Biden anyhow. Indeed, why not take this negotiation time to dispatch with a few more hostages? What if the press covered the Supreme Court as if they were real people? Non-woke investments aren’t as attractive once they are sued.

David Waldman presents the Tuesday KITM.  All of the argle you expect with none of that annoying bargle.  Joan McCarter won’t be summering in Krasnodar this year, as Vladimir Putin is expanding his enemies list to include anyone unfavorable to MAGA. Marjorie Taylor Greene spent $100,000 for a ChapStick used by Kevin McCarthy. Kind of expensive for her to pay that for cherry, as it would cut into the Kevin flavor... Other than Marj and Kev, people are still being advised to wear masks in public. Donald Trump was the one responsible for Dominion picking up an extra $787 million this year, but somehow received nothing in commission. He’s going to need some cash to cover his serial defamation lawsuits with E. Jean Carroll. As luck would have it, the only texts Ron DeSantis did not ban are the ones that look to get him in the most legal trouble. DeSantis is in a race with Trump to get his hands on a Supreme Court to keep himself out of jail. In the meantime, the LOLYOLOMAGASCOTUS shadow docket might lift gun bans nationwide. McCarthy’s parched lips are apparently still talking to President Joe Biden about a debt ceiling deal, but that doesn’t seem to really be what Kevin’s talking out of. The courts will decide on the 14th amendment sooner or later, so Joe might as well take the lead.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman reveals that he’s almost finished pushing his babies out of the nest and will soon be able to devote all of his time and energy into getting his own breakfast together. Greg Dworkin is here to recoup the deficit in the media’s coverage of the debt ceiling fiasco. Kevin McCarthy has been betting with a very weak hand, but that hasn’t stopped him on continuing to raise the stakes. The outcome will be disastrous, if we even approach default. President Joe Biden is still trying “good cop, bad cop” when he probably needs to just go “bad cop” and let the courts sort it out. You’d think that Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani selling pardons would have been a big deal, but it was so unsurprising and expected that the media passed right over it. Alvin Bragg’s case against Trump points to plenty of statutes violated, but if tfg campaigned from prison would much change? Now, if he were to be re-elected, that would leave a mark. Trump’s simple 2024 proposition is to break any law he wants, and to declare anybody he chooses to be a lawbreaker. Savvy critics such as Axios say that the Donald Trump plan to rebalance power to the executive branch just doesn’t seem to have the funding in place to be successful.

On KITM, David Waldman cleans out the news and opinion fridge each week, then on Fridays scoops the rest off of the floor, metaphorically, I believe. “You go woke, you go broke”, some say. That’s Ron DeSantis’ working theory anyhow, although that theory might need a bit more work before it reaches any general acceptance. Of course, anti-woke’s biggest fans hope that everyone stays asleep while they burgle their valuables. Robocallers out of Wisconsin picked up $89 million from the dopes who still answer their phones, who also thought they were helping firefighters and veterans. If you had $89 million, you’d donate it to Atoosa Reaser and Juli Briskman. The FBI raided a Trump Tower owned by a couple of Russians, in yet another example of the weaponization of government against “organized crime”, and quite often Trump organized crime. Gym Jordan won’t share “whistleblower” testimony with Democrats, because if he did Dems would just make fun of him some more. Russia doesn’t need Trump when they have Boeing and Airbus. Senator Dianne Feinstein has shingles, encephalitis, Ramsay Hunt syndrome, and probably a lot more. But she’s apparently here, ostensibly voting, and work is getting done, let’s not wear her out with a lot of stress.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin marshal their wits one last time this week for the Thursday KITM: Tuesday’s elections showed Democrats (by the way of young voters) advancing everywhere across the board, not just overperforming Republicans, but reopening the front to win back rural voters, kind of like how George Washington won the Battle of Fort Necessity in 1754… Okay, nothing like that really, because little can compare to Donald Trump and his MAGA forces. Certainly not Ron DeSantis. Ron is making trans lives illegal in Florida and will be outlawing “pronouns”, earning him the endearment of no one, because who would expect such haters to actually like anyone? Well, they used to like Tucker Carlson. Tuck’s viewers found a short blip of hate at CNN’s town hall, but it just didn’t last. CNN’s chief international anchor, Christiane Amanpour, is one of the first to criticize her company and her boss on their lamebrain idea. Town halls, audiences and Donald Trump should be abolished from TV before 2024. Now Vice President Kamala Harris... Who wouldn’t want to have a beer with her, or a town hall? President Joe Biden not only has to fight ageism, but there are plenty of closet sexists he has to also worry about. A new federal lawsuit says Florida book bans are unconstitutional, which is not only a problem for Florida zealots, but any others using those “book banning in a box” kits nationwide. North Carolina Republican Jeffrey McNeely reached into the totally wrong box in his school choice debate. Twitter, a forum for diverse ideas, opinions, child porn and animal torture, has become exactly the rectum Elon Musk has always dreamt of spending his every waking moment and dollar inside. President Guillermo Lasso of Ecuador, no relation to Ted, will not only take his ball and go home, but plans to just dissolve the league before he exits the field.

David Waldman wishes you all a festive, yet introspective, National Day of Norway. Greg Dworkin rounds up the election news, which looks pretty good for Democrats, especially in how it looks bad for Republicans. The Trump culture of winning, that is losing, is alive in Kentucky and elsewhere. In a major upset, Florida Democrat Donna Deegan becomes Jacksonville’s first female mayor. A non-Republican also flipped the most Republican city in Colorado. As all politics is local, voters like their most local politicians to be Democratic. Nebraska forced two bad bills into one, and now plans to force it through the legislature, which might break rules and not follow procedure, but they really don’t know what they’re doing, so how would they know? Once there is a Republican majority, that is all they have to know, and after that the rest is optional. Republicans do understand force, and their plan is to teach us all the meaning of “might makes right”. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Germany show us how it’s done. Don’t knock John Durham. The job was to make a lot out of nothing, and John did make a lot of money, visited a lot of beautiful tourist spots around the world, and generally expense accounted for a lot longer than most people could ever dream to pull off. In between swipes of his American Express card, Durham artfully repackaged old investigations into new BS, then regifted it back to MAGA propagandists.  Over at The Messenger… well not there, as the link 404s out, but according to some people, The Messenger rates the report at less than half of a nothing burger. Don’t knock The Messenger. Its job also is to make a lot out of nothing.

Like a bad—nay, loathsome—penny, Rudy Colludy returns. This time, it’s noun, verb, sexual assault. Calling all Privateers of the Caribbean!™ Clarence Thomas’ billionaire pal Harlan Crow has bought himself an offshore dual citizenship. The House of Representatives has been… less than representative for quite some time, now. From time to time, there have been proposals to expand it, and thereby hopefully bring the Representatives a bit closer to their constituencies. But… where would they put them all? Well, they could make a little more room by getting rid of Paul Gosar, seeing as he’s been employing Nazis and all. Joan McCarter came by to count down the seconds left until we hit the debt ceiling. Remember when certain bloggers urged Congressional Dems to take the debt ceiling hostage off the table while they still could? But then they didn’t? Yeah, me too. Well, now there are only a few options left, besides, well, just giving in. Meanwhile, other looming disasters include a backhanded, shadow docket SCOTUS ban on gun bans, and Rep. Comer’s continuing insistence that the dog ate his homework, but would probably barf it up soon, soon, very soon. Perhaps two weeks, or some other very short period of time.

Following a long weekend David Waldman was back at KITM World Headquarters humming Pomp and Circumstance and expecting a light news day. Greg Dworkin changed all that with his Heapin’ Raft O’ Stories™. You may recall that sexual assault and defamation verdict against the former guy last week. Donald re-defamed E Jean Carroll a few hours later, so perhaps Carroll could rinse and repeat until Trump gets it, if we should live so long. Mirror universe Michael Dukakis, Ron DeSantis isn’t just awkward. Ron hates people right down to his core. At least Trump enjoys using people. Some people like to be used. DeSantis and his followers are just into the beat down, which only succeeds for so long. The prospect of Trump’s nomination is shrinking the Senate’s prospects in 2024. Virginia is the eighth red state to quit caring about voter fraud. James Comer was so close to sending every Democrat since the Carter administration to Gitmo, but then his dog ate all the witnesses. That’s ok, they can always make some new ones. President Joe Biden’s first veto takes on the Republicans’ war on “woke capitalism”. If they love Russia so much, why don’t they move there? Religious Gimme-terians tend to be Political Gimme-tarians when it suits them, of course. They just need to follow their faith to the correct precinct. 

David Waldman is attending his #1 son’s graduation! It seems like only yesterday we were listening to the little guy running the microwave and clinking silverware on plates… Sniff!  So, David is traveling today and out tomorrow. Today, however, we have a fresh pre-recorded Mini-KITM episode, at least mini for us at one hour: Last night CNN had TFG on for the longest hour in TV history. Now even they are asking “Whose fault was that?” The answer is, every single one of us. We need to straighten up soon before it’s too late. South Carolina State Senators have formed a group opposed to the abortion ban in their state. The group is comprised of all of the state’s women Senators, Republican, Democratic, and Independent. It is South Carolina we’re talking about, so there’s only five of them. Oklahoma is banning more than a dozen banks for “being too woke”.  You know that since it is Oklahoma, their definition of “woke” isn’t centered around CRT or LGBTQ, but OIL. Saudi Arabia is pumping water out of the Arizona desert to grow alfalfa to feed to their dairy cattle in their desert.

On the road for college kid’s graduation, so it’s into the Hot Tub Podcast Time Machine! We go so far back, May 12 was a Thursday! That’s a full year back! If you don’t remember it exactly as it happened, here’s a reminder: Not to underestimate you, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin probably deliver as much KITM as you can handle today. Russia continues to not win in Ukraine.  Some would say they are losing. Some, like the Institute for the Study of War. Some, like Ukrainian soldier on the ground in charge of blowing up stuff, Максим. Sanctions are turning Russia into a place Borat would be ashamed to work for. Russia is pulling electronics out of their washing machines in order to keep their military running. Russian soldiers will wish they had pulled the SIM cards from their phones when the Switchblades lock on them. Remember when Republicans openly loved Russia? If only public opinion mattered to abortion rights. Mitch McConnell is unlikely to dump the filibuster to ban abortion until the very second he can. Joe Manchin might be a Republican, but that doesn’t mean he always votes on a party line… unless it’s against abortion rights. Well, that Supreme Court leak investigation deescalated quickly. Susan Collins and Stephen King live in the same neighborhood, of course. One of their neighbors used chalk on the sidewalk, not for hopscotch or Valentine’s hearts, but in order to deeply concern Susan Collins. Elon Musk is bored with Tesla. Soon, he will be bored with Twitter. A popular GQP wacko might out-Trump all Republicans in Pennsylvania. She might even win her Senate nomination before conceding her 2020 House loss. That is Trumpy. The important elections however are for secretaries of state, as they are the ones who will install future Trumps. The math wasn’t going Donald Trump’s way in 2020, so John Eastman had a plan to install his own math. Baked Alaska came up with the novel idea of pleading guilty with a side-plea of innocence for his involvement on the insurrection January 6. Too novel for the judge, apparently. The January 6 Committee subpoenaed Kevin McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Mo Brooks, Andy Biggs and Scott Perry, which is a good start.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin LOL at TFG. That was the main order of the day, and there were multiple angles of approach available from which to do it. From watching Gop Senators’ sputtering reactions, to watching the Gop rank and file’s sputtering reactions, to watching, er… Chris Christie supporters’ sputtering reactions. Oh, and pollsters’ sputtering reactions at having to measure people’s sputtering reactions. But perhaps you were more interested in sputtering reactions to some other Gop figure’s legal woes. George Santos, as usual, would have you more than adequately covered. Need still another despicable Gop figure to revile? How about Tucker Carlson and his legion of degenerate nihilists? The execrable Lindsey Graham? Or perhaps you prefer to focus on the vapid destructiveness of Gop policy, in the form of debt ceiling and budgetary recklessness? Or what could happen once we’re forced to clean up the mess? “Inflation.” It sucks. Or at least, something that they’re telling us is inflation does. Hey, guess where bad guys get their guns? From “good guys” with guns, of course. Or “good guys” who had guns at the time, anyway. And just to take one last (completely fair) shot at TFG, he doesn’t just assault women.

David Waldman and Joan McCarter bring us up-to-date, and up-to-Tuesday morning news and opinion. While we bide our time waiting for the next mass shooting, the media informs us that several very nice people have been killed by a very bad person. However, Greg Abbott and the Right want you to believe that both sides are to blame. You know what? So does the media.  Both sides (all of them women) join to block South Carolina’s near-total abortion ban. Ron DeSantis has picked Disney as the hill to die on and will pave the road there in radioactive waste. In Florida, butt crack = pornography, thus all Floridians are criminals. A Wisconsin judge is ordering that the state elections commission reconsider a complaint against its fake electors. Stewart Rhodes wants the court to consider his years of running an "all-volunteer" organization, AKA the “bin Laden” defense. Enrico Tarrio wonders how his boss got away with it. Donald Trump wonders why everyone’s always picking on him. Harlan Crow sure isn’t paying for your kid’s school, because that would be a lousy investment. Anita Hill did raise a few red flags over Clarence Thomas, as you may recall. Those red flags have only multiplied over the decades. Dick Durbin has “everything is on the table”, where he plans to pretty much just leave it. Gerald Ford showed that Supreme Court justices could be impeached... or not impeached as the case may be. Trump and McConnell already packed the Supreme Court, and they, and you, and I probably won’t live to see that changed. Meanwhile, Republicans threaten the world economy unless they are allowed to destroy the US economy. President Joe Biden will keep trying to fix things, but the hero might just end up being… Mitch McConnell?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present another KITM Under the Cloud special, which ain’t so special anymore. There is no reward for reaching the 200th mass shooting of 2023. Presently, there is always the threat of being shot because taking lives has never been easier or more convenient. The Allen, Texas shooter didn’t take the time to park his car. The Brownsville, Texas killer was too lazy to even use a gun.  Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott couldn’t be bothered to think of anything new to say or plan to have anything new to do. They see massacres as natural disasters, “acts of God”, so let God fix it. In fact, why do anything if God will do it all for you?  Let’s pray that the latest slaughter will bring an epiphany to those who can enact change. For now, however it is a civil war, but only with one side fighting it. Texas mass shootings are up 62.5% since they passed their permitless carry bill. President Joe Biden prepares to lift the debt ceiling onto his own shoulders. Republicans don’t mind ruining everything, because it all seems to hurt Biden and help Donald Trump… at least in the short term, and isn’t that always their plan? The short term is certainly how the media sees things, and certainly how they plan on seeing Trump, because who wants to hear about all that past unpleasantness? Wouldn’t it be fun if Donald received a gag order the day of his town hall? At least eight of Trump’s fake electors in Georgia accepted immunity deals in that grand jury investigation. Oath Keepers leader Stewart Rhodes might get 25 years in prison. A lot of pigeons will be fighting for that stool.

David Waldman wishes us a happy Dia Cinco de KITM Celebraciones! Another day another set of specifics on why no one has trusted Clarence and Ginni Thomas for a least a generation. Leonard Leo, whose job is buying influence, bought $1.6 billion worth recently, paying a chunk through bagwoman Kellyanne Conway into the pockets of Ginni Thomas, making certain to not mention Ginni, which makes them all look as innocent as hell. The Proud Boys find themselves going to jail, much to their, and their followers’ surprise. Punching up, instead of punching down was the big mistake, and the Boys learned their lesson. MAGA learned the lesson of January 6: People get in trouble for insurrection, therefore the people you want in trouble must be insurrecting.  Texas prison guards put a woman in isolation for knowing more about abortion than they did. Texas schools, concerned that kids nowadays have become too into idolatry, adultery, and covetousness, are posting the Ten Commandments in every classroom. That might be Moses’ thing, but Jesus would not do that. In Ohio, Republicans are quickly shutting down voting rights and hope to slide it in August, when no one’s looking. Meanwhile, Oregon Republicans refuse to vote on things with the big words that wear their lips out. Ace KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor marks the retirement of Michigan’s last racial/ethnic school mascot. Covid drops to the fourth biggest killer, so you know WHO declares the emergency over. Fox News demands that Media Matters quit publishing their Tucker Carlson leaks. Jim Justice is running against Joe Manchin for Senator. Many hope that Jim’ll win so he can pay them the money he owes.

Aye! May the farth be with ye! Arrrrh! Wait... I’ve just been notified by the control room that I’m referencing the wrong holiday… Us let check in with David Waldman and Greg Dworkin the latest news, on? Hmmmm? Yes? Hm? Harlan Crow paid the private tuition of over $6000 per month for Clarence Thomas’ grandnephew. Buddies pay for expensive installments so that their buddies will stay buddies throughout the payment period. It was mighty white of Tucker Carlson to hold the same standards behind and in front of the camera. Those are Fox standards as well, so that just isn’t why Carlson was fired. Nonetheless, Fox is paying the price for his loss. Donald Trump doesn’t like losers, so he’s heading over to CNN for a “town hall”, which is scheduled right in Tuck’s old time slot, in case a few hundred thousand Tucker fans have nothing to do that night. If CNN wants to reduce the harm of giving Trump the microphone it can, but if it’s setting up to be Fox Lite, it won’t. There’s still money to be made off Trump. How much or how long no one knows, and some don’t care. Donald’s lawsuit against his niece and the New York Times has been thrown out. Trump apparently had something better to do than attend his own trial for rape. E. Jean Carroll would have been the one being punished had she pushed to convict Donald Trump any earlier. Even now, it takes more than two dozen Trump rape victims to even count.   Once the diligent jury on the Proud Boys sedition trial got their stapler, they were ready to give their verdict, guilty of seditious conspiracy for Jan. 6 Capitol attack. Roger Stone’s barrel beckons him. Now if you want to see a guy go to jail, keep your eye on Herschel Walker, because should be soon and it will be quick.   Ohio Republicans solution to potentially losing a vote on abortion rights is to eliminate the right to vote. Oregon Republicans just eliminate anyone’s chance of voting.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin our present our annual KITM Star Wars Day Eve Special, this year spoken in Shyriiwook for all our Kashyyyk followers! Huurh awwgggghhh wrrhwrwwhw uuh huuguughghg! Another day, another Tucker Carlson Fox leak. No, that wasn’t why Carlson was fired. That’s how they all talk at Fox. Expect scandalous Tucker Carlson leaks to continue until Rupe’s ex admits that she was wrong to crush on Tuck. Ron DeSantis isn’t the first child to throw a fit at Disneyworld, and sure won’t be the last. Disney has been setting up to win this case for a while now, and by “win” they mean to make DeSantis and his supporters lose. That whole thing about law cutting both ways has always annoyed conservatives, chiefly the part about the defendant discovering what the other side has up its sleeve. The Right doesn’t care how much money they need to pour into court manipulation, or who they pour it into, although that is one of the reasons why George Mason University doesn’t call it the David Waldman School of Law. Bidenomics has replaced Reaganomics, and yet no one seems to be happy about anything anymore. Republicans therefore see little downside in just burning it all down, especially Marjorie Traitor Greene. Kevin McCarthy’s problem is that each Republican House member thinks that they are Marjorie Traitor Greene. Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and debt limit chicken, so nobody will be blinking soon. Democrats have seen this coming however and might have some procedural tricks up their sleeves. Maybe everyone’s been doing the debt limit wrong all along.

May returns for a second May-filled day, on KITM, featuring David Waldman, plus Joan McCarter! Some lefty “Kagrohead” recently penetrated the MSM, appearing on CBS’s Face the Nation as a parent weighing in on how gun violence is impacting their children. (And I got my bird into the background!) This National Teacher Day, show your appreciation and support by keeping guns away from them and schools and challenging gun nuts whenever possible. The US debt ceiling needs to be raised by June. That’s June 1st, by the way. And, with the way things are organized in DC, June 1st is sooner than you’d think or at least sooner than they think. In fact, Mitch McConnell says he doesn't even plan to get involved until Kevin McCarthy and President Joe Biden work things out. Joe needs to leave Kevin and Mitch out of this and go it alone. So much for that Gop promise to “save” Social Security and Medicare. The Senate will hold hearings on the real pain being delivered in the Republican plan.   Ethics reforms? John Roberts says his gang don’t need no stinking ethics reforms, as they move to grab even more power for themselves and fellow judges. They’ve been corrupted for years, and now people want to talk about it?  Fox News is going to leak a new Tucker Carlson story every day until Rupert Murdoch gets a new fiancée who likes him better. I think we can all agree that this is a good idea. Discord attracts US Armed Forces recruiters, foreign spy recruiters, and gamers. When it’s everybody vs. everyone, anything is possible, and everything is up for grabs.

It’s May Day ya commies! In fact, it is even if you aren’t. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin frolic and banter around the KITM maypole/microphone today to kick off the month. Donald Trump’s rape trial reveals Trump’s defense: E. Jean Caroll told Donald no... and laughed, naturally triggering Trump’s rape... am I right guys? Even Trump’s lawyers see this as not a winning gambit but argue that anytime Trump “loses” it would be unfair by definition... Denied! How is Donald Trump losing his other court cases? Quite bigly! Trump is losing just fine in Georgia, although DA Fani Willis gets some more time to work out how much. Special Counsel Jack Smith must be grinning ear to ear watching evidence pouring in from all corners on everything from Mar-a-Lago to January 6th. Presented with an opportunity for insurrection, January 6 rioters didn’t need to discuss what to do and didn’t hesitate because they had rehearsed that moment many times in their heads. Brett Kavanaugh, if your friends take your penis and rub it on an unconsenting girl’s face, they aren’t really your friends. First Republic Bank fails, is seized and sold. That’s the kind of thing that might come up in the 2024 elections. So will Republicans defaulting on the debt ceiling. Beware Nikki Haley pretending that she’s a moderate… and also Joe F Lieberman. There’s an art to running for President. Joe Biden has the artist’s touch, all he needs is to do is both keep his brushstrokes wide and pay attention to the details.

David Waldman delivers the Last KITM of the Week as usual, towards the end of the week, but unusually, with a time slot devoted to showcase up and coming talent. No, not Nick Mohammed, but Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor, here to explain how the youngs are taking over the world, a phenomenon somewhat underappreciated by some of the olds. Tucker Carlson, about to be handed the helm of the SS Newsmax about ten feet from impact with Dominion, enjoys pulling the wings off flies, nearly as much as convincing others to do so. Now, is that Christian behavior? Well, it is the behavior Rupert Murdoch’s fiancée swooned over, which could be why she’s an ex-fiancée, and Tucker’s an ex-Fox employee. Vladimir Putin’s public acts of religious piety make him more powerful and even more dangerous, so a no-brainer on that decision. What does Donald Trump want from another term? Revenge. If he needs to promise MAGA voters revenge, that’s OK with him too. The Senate voted to overturn Biden’s truck pollution limit, 50-49 without Dianne Feinstein. Trump says electric car batteries throw dirt in the air. Supreme Court justices aren’t supervised, and like it that way. Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr returns to work but is still ostracized by the Gop in control. Meanwhile, Kansas has banned trans people from schools, prisons, women’s shelters, rape crisis shelters, and locker rooms. A Nebraska Democratic lawmaker is under investigation because she has a trans child. Marjorie Traitor Greene not only believes transgenderism is as dangerous as guns, she believes the danger of guns is transgenderism... Or that transgenderism is mass shooting? Gee, who knows with her. The only way transgender persecution will be addressed is when enough Republican children choose to be trans. A Washington target shooter missed his target and hit a nearby orchard worker in the face. A guy excused himself from a date to go shoot someone, and returned before his order was served. A failed Gop candidate stepped out of a Republican committee meeting to fetch his gun.

Pull up a chair, bring out your bag of Eastern Orthodox pretzels, (Which are kind of a thing? Maybe I shouldn’t open with this gag? Oh well.) and listen to today’s Thursday KITM with David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! Tucker Carlson’s prayer talk creeped Rupert Murdoch out, but kind of turned on Rupe’s soon-to-be ex-fiancé... In retrospect, that could have been seen as a “faux pas”, or maybe a “Fox pass” on Tucker’s part. Perhaps it was calling Fox senior executive the C-word, and refusing to apologize, or retract said word, or that he was a racist who would never shut up, or that he was a clear danger to America... I guess we’ll never know, as anonymous sources are every bit as full of crap as he is. Like Gilgamesh, or even Gargamel, his is a myth that grows upon repetition. What is true is that Tucker Carlson not only liked to pull the wings off of flies, but Tucker also made it his mission to convert millions into finding joy and comfort in that same manner. What will wing-pullers do without their influencer messiah? What will Carlson’s parasites do without their host? What will Tucker do without them? Republicans have almost arrived at their singularity, when they’ll finally become completely unbound to reality. For now, unfortunately, they are still with us, barely, under the hapless administration of Kevin McCarthy. Yep, it’s going to be Trump vs. Biden again. Except this time, people know Joe Biden, and people really know Donald Trump. Nikki Haley offers her hopes and prayers. What do the polls say? Over the course of a decade, Nate Silver worked to make it clear that he was no prognosticator. Silver was more of an artist, whose artistry could be interpreted variously, and should be interpreted while averaged with others.  A federal appeals court stopped Donald Trump’s attempt to block Mike Pence from testifying before the January 6th grand jury. The Proud Boys want to thank Donald for where they are today. E. Jean Carroll also explains how Trump brought her to this point. Disney’s suing Ron DeSantis. Ron says they’re just being political. Many fine people on both sides are getting tired of Clarence Thomas. Aside from using classified info to win arguments with teenagers, it also appears that Jack Teixeira was really into mass shootings. But after all, what soldier playing on the internet isn’t?

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and all the staff here at KITM Worldwide wish a merry and joyous National Pretzel Day to all those who observe. Tucker Carlson remains under his contractually obligated rock today following his ouster from woke Fox News. Was it Tuck’s sexism that got him fired? Or his endangerment of racial and religious minorities, LGBTQ, and national security? Or was he going to lose Rupert money? No, seriously, why did Fox News fire Tucker Carlson? It doesn’t matter what Carlson truly believes. All Tucker truly believes in is pulling the wings off flies.  Election 2024, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Joe Biden is the sequel no one wanted to see, but the good news is, it looks to be a rehash of the original. “The Tennessee Three” are being followed up by “the Montana One”, which so far seems as exciting, and hopefully ends as satisfyingly as the first. Disney certainly knows how to do a plot twist. Speaking of plot twists, adding Ted Cruz schemes into the January 6th insurrection could tie up many loose threads. Forget sex or money, the best way to get any secret is to tell a boy that he’s dumb, and it turns out that there are a lot of dumb boys in our Armed Services. Republicans looking over the fiscal cliff have started to panic and are throwing out favors and a few of the rules to keep from going over.

Today, David Waldman and the KITM staff celebrate not being fired or hired by Rupert Mudoch. Hey, remember Tucker Carlson? Tuck was sort of a prep school Lou Dobbs or that villain in a teen movie who wears a Brooks Brothers sweater like a cape over his Lacrosse polo. Anyhow, Fox News fired Tucker on a Monday morning, in front of his crew, for maximum disrespect, like a mob hit that can’t go open casket. Not that his crew had that much respect for him, or vice versa. In fact, they’ve already forgotten him. Whatever reason Rupert chose to take out Carlson, it wasn’t the right one. As Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has been telling us, (paraphrased) Ottawa County, Michigan has been cluster-FUBARed through a wingnut insurgency. Wait until they find out their new jobs require working. Southern fried wingnuts in Florida are turning off both voters and bigots. Coming this Summer: The Fulton County Indictments! Why not now? Why is Fani Willis making us wait sooooo long? Powerful judges seem to always be trying to strike a balance between lower ethics and larger paydays. About a week after his confirmation, Neil Gorsuch finally sold a couple million dollars' worth of future goodwill and friendship with a guy destined to bring dozens of cases before him. Gorsuch didn’t think to mention this transaction, nor did fellow Trump judge Matthew Kacsmaryk think to disclose between 5 to 25 million bucks worth of his camaraderie. Senator Ed Markey is calling on Clarence Thomas to resign, all because of his billionaire sugar buddy Harlan Crow. Joan McCarter tells us that it’s time for Senator Dianne Feinstein to retire, primarily because Senator Joe Manchin won’t. No one knows what the hell Dick Durbin is doing, but everyone can see what Mitch McConnell has planned.

Tucker Carlson is out at Fox. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin didn’t specifically address that on today’s show, mostly because Fox hadn’t announced it yet, and yet Tuck’s firing was the subject of today’s KITM: the price of extremism is high, and the bills are just beginning to come due. You got to figure that Smartmatic really has the goods on Fox, but that doesn't mean that Dominion is slowing down any time soon. Ron DeSantis is looking like the Tucker Carlson of politics right now. Donald Trump is beating Ron to win the losing side of the 2024 election, supported by the people who believe he’s still president. Trump can’t commit a crime big enough to lose their vote. MAGA will pay any price to avoid admitting they were wrong. On the other hand, Democrats believe that every decision they make might be a huge mistake, and that every decision made by a fellow Democrat is surely one. However, until they find a presidential candidate with the temperament, experience, and accomplishments of Joe Biden under 40, Joe will have to do. Republicans are promising to be civil… Freshman Democrat Jeff Jackson says that they will act civilly once you quit giving them attention. Republicans do a lot for attention, but they will do much more for money. Amarillo Judge Mathew Kacsmaryk would rather not talk about those decisions he made and that money he’s taken though. Even the Trump Supreme Court might be becoming a bit shy.

David Waldman presents another episode in KITM’s popular What the Hell is Wrong with These People? ™ series as we travel throughout the Midwest asking, “What the Hell is wrong with these people?” This being Friday, there is a small but increasing chance that this KITM will feature an AI generated “David Waldman” with intonation and mannerisms scraped from audio samples, however chatbot “Scott Anderson” would have said something by now, wouldn’t he? Off we go, back to Tennessee, where Republicans rolled a 1 on their d20 on the Tennessee Three expulsion and have just gone downhill from there. Of course, they did earn some of their bad luck. Rep. Scotty Campbell sexually harassed interns before his expulsion vote. It’s just that Campbell would have gotten away with all that before those news crews started to hang around. On the same day the Tennessee House voted to expel The Three, they voted to eliminate oversight on the police for their two biggest cities. That sort of thing gets noticed now. Over to Minnesota, where State Senator/ 80’s Sportscaster Eric Lucero battles necromancy and whatever spells Liberals cast to conjure wokeness. And finally, to Michigan and Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor. US mass killings happen at least every week, gun owners taking a bead on each other in fear that someone will get the drop on them first. Some Michiganders have noted the danger and are setting up sanctuaries to create safe spaces for guns. If only the Michigan Republican Party had thought of drunken 2A solutions in that Clare, Michigan hotel bar...

Happy 4/20! David Waldman was not old and/or high enough to pick up on Justice Putnam’s “Dave’s Not Here” reference and so we weren’t certain if we were high and/or off the air this morning. Thankfully, we got it all straightened out and had the windows open before Greg Dworkin got here. Elon Musk is going to want something stronger by 4:20 today, seeing that his Starship lit up like a Tesla out of warrantee this morning. Fox News had to pay about $800 million to keep “News” on its logo this week, which may not be the $1.6 billion we wanted, but no worries, they will be paying in installments over the next couple of years. Fox will keep up the fight... except for Dan Bongino, Maria Bartiromo, and Jeanie Pirro. Next time Donald Trump is on, maybe they can ask him for tax advice. Too bad they can’t fire their viewers. January 6th’s Zip Tie Guy has been convicted and could be sentenced to 20 years. It might be tough for his mom to visit him, as she is going to a different wing of the penitentiary. Why should the public view the horrific aftermath of the Sandy Hook Massacre, when they can just step outside and look at their neighbor’s front yard? The Republican party has a plan to alienate every swing voter in America. House Republicans plan to raise the debt ceiling for just one year, if they can get permission from George Santos and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Dick Durbin can only dream of wielding such awesome power.  The Gop will lose with Trump, but know that DeSantis is not the solution. Anyhow, who needs a solution when they have Trump? The 2nd circuit court of appeals has granted a brief stay of the district court ruling against Alvin Bragg, which blocks for now the deposition of his former aide, Mark Pomerantz. Kari Lake wants the Supreme Court to reconsider one of her election claims it already had rejected and offers to debate any anonymous troll who steps up. Amarillo Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk might have hid his wackiest stuff from his Senate confirmation hearings.