Are you in pain after narcissistic abuse? Finding yourself feeling lost? The CPTSD model and importance of trauma healing resonates with you? Turn your intuition back on again by developing emotional intelligence and healing the superego (inner critic). As you reduce your emotional flashbacks (main CPTSD symptom), you will notice your motivation and discipline go up.
Richard Grannon provides insights from psychology and philosophy to assist humans with life on this here earth.
Follow Richard at:
youtube.com/user/SPARTANLIFECOACH
instagram.com/richard.grannon
spartanlifecoach.com
I don’t know who needs to hear this but...
This is inspired by the "No Country for Old Men" film and novel, which I believe confronts the audience with their narcissism.
We will go through all the narcissism DSM traits, along with proposed antidotes to them.
(00:27) Books Recommendation
(02:39) Richard's Disclaimer About Him Going Political
(06:15) "No Country for Old Men" as a Story Deconstructing Our Narcissism
(12:43) Meta-narrative About Storytelling (Narcissism of the Audience)
(13:29) The Red Pill Philosophy for Narcissism
(15:59) Humility as a Skill of Self-examination
(18:45) Being Boundaried in Our Grandiosity (Your Story is Important to You)
(25:06) Prioritizing Truth and Reality Over Fantasy
(27:58) Neediness for Admiration
(32:22) Finding Value in Yourself as an Antidote
(34:38) Entitlement
(40:38) Nobody is Coming to Save You
(42:15) The Antidote - "I'm Not Owed Anything and Don't Really Need That Much"
(43:15) Exploitativeness (Others Also Have Fears, Needs and Lives)
(48:55) Zero Empathy and Empathy Exercises
(50:00) Envy and Gratitude
(50:52) Recap
(51:50) Bullying and Abusing
(53:24) In the History, the Snake Will Always Eats His Own Tail
11/19/2020 • 56 minutes, 51 seconds
What CAUSES Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Golden Child and Black Sheep EXPLAINED
Narcissistic parent is prone to treat their child in either of two ways.
Overpraising (Golden Child) or shunning and scapegoating (Black Sheep).
What is the reason behind that kind of parenthood and how does it impact the children development?
Find out in this episode.
(01:10) The Big Long Screaming 'Nooo' of Denial
(05:25) Narcissistic Shell (Reality Split)
(08:40) Communication With NPD Through His Shield
(11:16) No Boundaries and the Godlike Position NPD Takes
(13:46) The Story of a Golden Child and a Black Sheep as Narcissist's Two Sons
(20:46) Scapegoat
(24:08) Codependent That Has Been Cast Out Into the Darkness
(27:02) //Q&A Section//
(27:17) "Do you think narcissists despise sensitive emotional children because they are everything they can never be or do, they see it as a weakness?"
(29:07) "Can the black sheep/golden child switch roles continually between two children?"
(29:20) "Can divorce parents reverse the scapegoat and golden child roles with their two kids?"
(29:57) "Can the same child be a golden child and a black sheep simultaneously when there's only one child?"
(30:35) "Would NPD commit suicide or are they too emotionally immature, or do they get others to commit suicide for them?"
(30:47) "Can the black sheep help the golden child?"
(31:01) "Is it possible for a golden child to change?"
(31:33) "What if the golden child rebels against the parent?"
(31:49) "Is every NPD recruited by another NPD in their mirrored reality?"
(32:11) "There's too much entitlement today"
(33:06) "Why is the narcissistic parent angered by the scapegoat happiness and success?"
(34:13) "Does a black sheep manifest as a codependent?"
(34:37) "Would it help to understand their worldview or is it a waste of time?"
(35:03) "Does the medical community currently recognize the rate of people driven to suicide by NPD's?"
(38:36) "Can the NPD manipulate their children that they rather spend time with him?"
(38:57) "Why as the black sheep, am I the only one to see the evil in the NPD parent?"
11/18/2020 • 40 minutes, 13 seconds
Sam Vaknin - Toxicity of Social Media (3) Recommendations and Bananas
Could Social Media be more healthy?
These platforms could be completely redesigned, and even serve us better.
Check out the suggestions how it could be done, alongside with an explanation of social media mechanisms.
(00:03) The Most Recent Studies on the Toxicity of Social Media Part 1
(03:53) The Most Recent Studies on the Toxicity of Social Media Part 2
(07:47) What Can We Learn From These Studies?
(08:28) Sam Vaknin’s Suggestions: Step 1
(11:50) Step 2 and Step 3
(14:37) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 1
(17:49) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 2
(21:18) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 3
(26:10) The Crux of the Matter
(28:36) Why Social Media Should Charge a Fee and Why It Would Work
(33:28) Getting Rid of the Likes
(34:55) Examples of How Some Companies Went From Free to Fee and Benefited
(39:46) Social Media Executive Might All Have the Fraud Syndrome
(44:40) What Would Happen to a Micro-famous Young Person Who Also Thinks It’s a Fraud
(46:30) Sam Vaknin Adds to Richard’s Answer
(51:19) That Constant Pulling Out of the Smartphone to Check Seems to Be Compulsive and Nervous
(55:16) Psychological Background to Why Social Media is So Addictive
(58:28) We All Have Recognition Hunger
(1:02:14) In Social Media It’s Almost Impossible to Obtain the “Positive Stroking”
(1:06:34) The Idea of Six Human Needs
(1:08:45) The Difference Between Conditioning and Addiction Part 1
(1:12:23) The Difference Between Conditioning and Addiction Part 2
(1:16:41) Richard Adds to the Explanation
(1:19:41) Would Bringing Storytelling Back to Social Media Convert Conditioning to Addiction?
(1:22:16) Holocaust Was a Form of Mass-conditioning
(1:27:06) The More Primitive is the Conditioning, the Harder It is to Break
(1:31:25) Is Telling a Story of the Social Media Makes It Less of a Conditional Tool? Part 1
(1:36:33) Is Telling a Story of the Social Media Makes It Less of a Conditional Tool? Part 2
(1:40:16) Social Media is Not an Innocent Tool
(1:42:10) The Ring From the Lord of the Rings Analogy
(1:44:32) They Cannot Claim That They’re Not Trying to Coerce People
(1:48:37) Goodbye
11/17/2020 • 1 hour, 49 minutes, 29 seconds
You are NOT "sick"...
Isn't it dangerous to crush people's optimism with a medical sounding condition?
Depending on which filters/models you use to approach the symptoms, you will get different results.
Realize how much of how we think about the problem impact our ability to solve it.
There is no one and only way of looking at things.
Consider the alternatives - you have a choice.
(00:37) A Metaphor for the Violence Done to Human Psyche
(03:11) How One's Skill of Sitting Alone Comfortably Have Been Warped
(05:16) Reframing of How We Name the Symptoms
(06:51) Is That Label/Model Useful or Disempowering?
(08:14) Let's Consider the Alternatives (Option 1 or Option 2?)
(10:41) Is It Not Dangerous to Crush People's Optimism?
(12:09) Few Suggestions for Bending Back to Shape
11/16/2020 • 13 minutes, 5 seconds
2020 - protect your mindset
How to get through 2020?
How do we deal with what's coming next?
This year poses many challenges.
How to keep going AND come out stronger on the other side?
Here is my short take on this.
(00:01) Trauma Causing Warps in the Human System
(04:18) How Does That Relate to 2020?
(06:59) Altering Our Story & Focusing on Optimism
(11:37) Coping, Humility and Being a Grown Up
11/15/2020 • 16 minutes, 11 seconds
THE SAM VAKNIN INTERVIEWS - IS NARCISSISM A POST TRAUMATIC STRESS RESPONSE & CAN IT BE TREATED
Narcissism expert Sam Vaknin talks about a necessary and crucial modality change if NPD is to be treated.
(00:14) Narcissistic Abuse Is A Plea For Help
(04:00) Narcissists Associate Empathy With Pain
(06:37) We Need To Treat Narcissists Like Traumatized Children
(08:01) Sam Talks About Recreating The Traumatic Environment In The Therapeutic Context
(13:00) The Issue Of Perceiving Narcissism As A Personality Disorder
(16:06) The Problem Of Getting The NPD To The Therapeutic Environment
(19:25) Sam Says Why He's Able To Dig Into Multiple Scientific Fields
11/14/2020 • 22 minutes, 37 seconds
Social Hierarchy, Depression and the Neurobiology of Emotion (post emotional abuse)
Can your social status give you depression?
You might have heard about a connection between depression and serotonin.
And a connection between serotonin and your position in a social hierarchy.
How does it really work? What is it that makes us and our neurochemistry happy?
(00:27) Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome
(01:47) Depression/Trauma Causes Low Serotonin, Not the Other Way Around
(02:40) The Social Hierarchy and Serotonin Levels Connection
(03:59) Social Isolation as a Cause for Dropping in Hierarchy
11/13/2020 • 5 minutes, 50 seconds
Rambling About CPTSD During A Google Hangout
All about recovery from emotional abuse and CPTSD in this Q&A session, also including two live chats.
(00:00) What does setting boundaries with ourselves exactly mean?
(04:27) Richard Mentions His Experience and Qualifications
(06:59) Cultivating the Virtue of Discipline
(09:09) How to deal with anger and realization that you have been used?
(20:11) How do you open yourself up to a relationship again after being in one with a narcissist?
(22:29) Where do I begin to find a treatment or a therapist regarding CPTSD?
(24:15) How do you stand on dissociative personality disorder?
(27:17) The 4 Stress Responses & Explaining the Freeze Response
(31:54) Split Personality, Parts & the Problem With Psychological Models
(37:44) How many sessions on average it takes for somebody to get better?
(41:54) Does the CPTSD and flashbacks go away if someone does the necessary self-help work?
(44:40) Is recovery from childhood abuse kind of reframing and understanding ourselves and what happened?
(45:53) Is it normal for your physical body to get sick or tired during the self-help work?
(49:39) Is it normal for a covert narcissist or borderline to accuse their mate of being a narcissist?
(52:59) People Willing Playing the Game With Abusers
(55:20) How do we know we are not projecting the narcissism on others?
(58:53) Is everyone who was or is in relationship with narcissist a codependent?
(1:01:09) What do you do when there's hardly anyone left in your left? (avoiding the post-traumatic embitterment syndrome)
(1:08:04) Getting Into a Trauma Bond With Institutions and Programs for People With Addiction
(1:13:32) Is there a way to deprogram this?
(1:14:31) The Golden Child and Scapegoating
(1:16:26) Goodbye
11/12/2020 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 49 seconds
The CURE for Narcissism My (Possible) Method; 5 Points (Healing A Narcissist)
I've said for the past 6 years that I do not believe there could ever be a cure for narcissism. That position is something I've maintained because of the NPD impulse to dismantle the therapeutic process.
If a narcissist could be convinced not to do that (and I explain a possible method of how this could be done in the video) then there is a CHANCE they could be healed.
But it would be very, very difficult and the Narcissist, NOT the therapist, would have to be willing to put in extremely challenging work, every day for a year or so.
In the video I explain why it's akin to someone being in a coma for a long time learning to walk again
I'm not a clinician, I'm not qualified to diagnose or do psychotherapy work with anyone.
Nor have I ever altered someone with full-blown NPD in any but the most cosmetic ways through coaching.
But if there is a chance for full healing, I think it depends on these 5 key points.
(00:49) Understanding of CPTSD
(02:24) Dealing With Emotional Dysregulation
(05:51) Narcissist Trying to Avoid Feelings of Shame
(07:50) NPD is Archetypal (Specific Cluster of Emotions)
(09:50) The Sad Baby Archetype & Recruiting People
(12:18) The Angry Toddler
(14:34) NPD is Not 'Demonic', It's a Response to Trauma
(19:10) On Overcoming the Superego
(21:39) Parent's Injunctions Instilling the Superego
(24:39) Internalized Bad Vs. Good Superego, Corrosion of Boundaries
(28:20) Narcissist Has No Ego
(30:40) The Unrealistic View of the Self (Two Extremes of Good and Bad)
(38:28) Vulnerable Vs. Grandiose Narcissist, Performative Role of the Grandiose Narcissist
(40:50) The Love Substitute & Narcissist's Adulation
(43:50) The "Don't Rise Too High" Injunction
(47:46) Getting Past the Blockage to Heal
(49:11) Switching on the Ego to Resist Superego
(52:43) Developing a Strong Ego Using Philosophy
11/11/2020 • 1 hour, 34 seconds
"Non Serviam" - a Pharse That Will Help Your Boundaries
This is a quick mnemonic that will make you remember to check, whether, and where, you've given your consent, so you're able to maintain your boundaries.
(00:23) You Are the First Person You Need to Assert Boundaries With
(02:11) It's Not Always Appropriate to Argue (Especially With Non-sincere Communicator)
(03:07) The Biblical Origin of "Non Serviam"
11/10/2020 • 5 minutes, 14 seconds
Overachiever Syndrome & A Narcissistic Parent
This is a one, long response to a lady's email, giving a counselling on her problems.
As our patterns are often similar, you may find some of these descriptions accurate to your situation, and the solutions presented helpful.
(00:00) Hello
(00:23) Eczema as a 'Thin Skin' (Boundaries)
(02:42) Being Defensive of One's Parents is Natural
(05:13) Massive Parental Expectations
(06:47) Unclear Communication as a Manipulation
(09:02) What is Overachiever Syndrome?
(14:06) Self-parenting & Acknowledging Your Own Achievements
(15:35) Narcissistic Mother & Emotional Abuse Being Like Psychological AIDS
(19:49) Repressed Drives
(22:55) The Zoo Story About Caging Natural Drives
(25:55) Parent's Not Giving a F
(28:19) Inheriting Parent's Toxic Traits?
(30:26) "I Don't Deal With Stress Very Well"
(32:46) Disney's Lion King Death Scene Might Have Been Traumatic
(35:32) Abandonment Anxiety
(36:28) Brain Playing Upsetting Mental Videos (Imagining a Funeral)
(40:01) Anxiety Attacks as a Result of Overachiever Syndrome & Fear of Death
(42:11) It's Great to Finally Process Grief and Anger
(44:32) Richard's Story About Healing His Sadness Part 1
(47:31) Richard's Story About Healing His Sadness Part 2
(48:19) A Technique for Dealing With Provocations From Martial Arts of Psychology
11/9/2020 • 51 minutes, 4 seconds
"Leave a Review" - A Tool That Will Protect You From Abusive Relationships and Situations
Remember how you were graded, and your performance reviewed over years and years by school and institutions?
What could happen if we reverse that?
How would it be like to actually review the situations and people in your life yourself?
How empowering that could be?
Let's find out!
(00:01) Hello, Good Morning
(02:25) Richard's Story About Being a Product in a Relationship
(06:46) Is There a Consumer Mindset in Relationships & Where Does It Come From? (Grades and Reviews)
(15:15) I Am Not Actually Enjoying the Service You're Providing
(17:26) How We Allow Ourselves to Review Other Things (And Criticism of Bad Story Writing)
(20:37) Expanding the Reviewing Mindset
(21:32) Consumer Ideology in Modern Relationships (and Sam Vaknin Reference)
(24:26) The Problem With Having "Gaggle of Geese"/intimacy Clouds
(28:49) You Can't Ask for What You Don't Offer
(29:56) Passive Consumer's Approach is the Worst for Long-term Relationships
(32:52) You Have a Right to Say "This Sucks and I Don't Like This"
11/8/2020 • 35 minutes, 3 seconds
The rise of the public intellectual - confounding celebrity with expertise w/ Sam Vaknin
We often listen to the people in high positions, that aren't necessarily qualified to discuss the topics that they do.
In this conversation with Sam Vaknin, we explore the phenomena of the Public Intellectual, and the problems we're facing.
(0:00) What Is A Public Intellectual What Responsibilities Do They Have?
(4:20) Why Is It Hard To Find A Real Public Intellectual These Days?
(7:26) Expertise vs. Anti-Expertise
(12:14) The Problem Of Celebrities Overtaking Qualifications
(15:57) Fake It Till You Make It Philosophy
(18:25) Discussing the Incentive to Radicalize In Order To Get More Money
(21:13) Relativity of Ideas Is To Blame?
(25:13) Some Texts Should Never Be Deconstructed
(27:21) Talking About the Death of the Author
(31:46) The Outcomes Of Interpreting Everything
(33:12) Can A So-Called Public Intellectual Be Involved In Politics?
(35:52) The Role And Responsibilities Of Public Intellectuals
(39:16) Today’s Public Intellectuals Do The Opposite Of What They’re Supposed To Do Part 1
(42:49) Today’s Public Intellectuals Do The Opposite Of What They’re Supposed To Do Part 2
(45:00) Public Intellectuals Launching Their Own Ideology
(49:00) Presenting Ideology as a Science
(53:25) Would Psychology Benefit From Dropping The Pretense?
(56:58) Did Freud Write Controversial Things Just To Sell Books And Seminars?
(1:00:48) Do Sometimes Public Intellectuals Choose To Be Fake In Order To Get What They Want?
(1:03:28) Acquired Situational Narcissism and Today’s Public Intellectuals
(1:06:12) Sam Vaknin Talks About the Public Intellectuals He Admires
(1:10:36) Should Public Intellectuals Comfort People or Tell the Truth?
(1:13:22) Sam Vaknin Talks About Donald Trump
11/7/2020 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 46 seconds
What does it take to heal from emotional abuse? (a conversation w/ Terry and Steve)
Healing can be a long journey.
It takes time, yet it brings delightful fruits on the way.
Check out this discussion with two, very experienced coaches, Terry McCoy and Steve Heneghan if you want to hear their insights about recovering from emotional abuse.
(00:07) Steve and Terry Talk About the Reasons Why They Quit Their Previous Jobs Part 1
(03:35) Steve and Terry Talk About the Reasons Why They Quit Their Previous Jobs Part 2
(06:37) Resentment as a Symptom of People Pleaser Syndrome
(07:49) A Story About Cutting Off the Goose's Head
(11:14) How Would It Affect a Child to Be Hyperbolically Praised in a Way They Won't Believe? Part 1
(15:37) How Would It Affect a Child to Be Hyperbolically Praised in a Way They Won't Believe? Part 2
(19:17) Feeling Disgust When Being Approached in an Intimate Context Part 1
(24:04) Feeling Disgust When Being Approached in an Intimate Context Part 2
(28:52) Feeling Disgust Because of the Core Belief That They’re Not Lovable
(32:50) Discussing the McGregor Fight
(37:22) Protecting Yourself From a Narcissist
(40:52) Talking About Reacting Seeking Communication and Triggers Part 1
(44:55) Talking About Reacting Seeking Communication and Triggers Part 2
(49:27) Terry and Steve Discuss Changing the Mindset and Getting Neuroplasticity
(54:34) Externalizing the Locus of Control Makes a Person Open for Narcissistic Abuse
(57:26) “How Does Hypnosis Work With a Person’s Past Trauma and Abuse?” Part 1
(1:02:20) “How Does Hypnosis Work With a Person’s Past Trauma and Abuse?” Part 2
(1:08:08) How Imagination Influences the Unconscious and How Noticing Emotions Can Help Part 1
(1:12:19) How Imagination Influences the Unconscious and How Noticing Emotions Can Help Part 2
(1:14:52) Wrapping Up
11/6/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 26 seconds
The Myths of "Hypnosis" (And Why It Actually Works So Very Well)
If you only heard about hypnosis from the mainstream, it's probably wrong.
Why, and how it is mythologized?
What can it REALLY do to people?
Here's everything you need to know about hypnosis, including answers to many common questions!
Check it out now!
(00:00) How Hypnosis is Mythologized
(03:16) The Truth of Hypnosis
(07:34) How is It Possible to Fix Your Lifetime of Trouble That You've Never Been Able to Fix Just by Hypnosis?
(12:58) Advice to Anybody Who Wants to Use Self-hypnosis
(16:43) The Difference Between the Conscious and the Unconscious
(20:15) Laying New Neural Pathways With the Help of Hypnosis
(23:41) Whatever You Do a Lot of, You're Gonna Get Good at
(28:57) Why is the World Not Revolutionized by Hypnosis if It Works?
(31:17) Can a Hypnotist Make It So the Person Starts Barking Like a Dog?
(33:33) How Do You Protect Yourself From Unwanted Hypnosis?
(36:42) Is Hypnosis Gaslighting?
(37:13) I Recently Tried NLP Audio Tapes to Promote Weight Loss Only to Find Out I Keep the Weight on to Protect Myself From Intimacy. What Do I Do?
(38:08) The Difference Between Meditation and Self-hypnosis
(39:31) The Consequences of Bad NLP and Hypnosis
(41:26) Can Hypnosis Wear Off?
(42:33) Would Hypnosis Help With Abandonment Anxiety?
(43:56) Will Hypnosis Open Us Up to Demonic Influence?
(45:51) Talking About the Use of Psychedelics
(49:09) Is It Possible for the Subconscious Mind to Pick Up Negative Messages That Can't Be Heard While Being Awake?
(52:09) Can Hypnosis Work on ADHD?
(53:36) Talking About Ayahuasca
(58:31) Wrapping Up
11/5/2020 • 59 minutes, 4 seconds
Q and A (various topics)
Differentiating emotional flashback from normal reaction, dating covert narcissist, sense of humor, dealing with people, and more in this Q&A session.
(00:13) Talking About the Difficulty of Reading the “CPTSD: Form Surviving to Thriving” Book
(00:13) Answering Questions About Seminars
(04:38) How to Make a Decision
(06:46) What’s the Difference Between an Emotional Flashback and Righteous Upsetness
(07:33) Talking About Accents
(10:47) Advice for a Person Who’s Dating a Covert Narcissist
(12:34) Mimicking Accents and Telling Jokes About Different Cultures is a Good Boundary Breaker
(14:25) Talking About a Seminar in La
(15:42) A Funny Story About Speaking Chinese
(17:07) What to Do When You’re Feeling Guilty When Taking Care of Yourself
(19:59) How to Un-isolate Yourself After Narcissist Trauma Recovery
(20:34) Recommendation for a Person Who’s Been Diagnosed With Several Mental Health Issues
(22:44) How to Rebuild Neuro Pathways
(24:20) How to Not Experience Fear When Someone Gives a Look or Glares
(30:59) Some People Are Just Dickheads and They Live to Create Chaos
(35:27) Why Do People Like Seeing Others Fail?
(39:54) Why Do People Like to Believe in What’s Fed to Them?
(46:03) Answering Short Questions
(47:25) Talking About Dyslexia
11/4/2020 • 53 minutes, 28 seconds
The one thing we need to do now to save humanity
If there is one thing that can save every human right now, I believe it's this.
The cure to the world's insanity.
A medicine for your mind.
A relief for your soul.
That thing is...
(00:07) Bombardment of Content Stressing the Cell
(04:35) What Are You Letting Into Your Brain?
(05:45) The Content Free Stillness
(07:08) Overstimulating Spectacle of Content
(12:02) Associate in Your Own Body, Your Own Space (And Let the Silence Be the Doctrine)
11/3/2020 • 16 minutes, 4 seconds
Q and A
Eckhart Tolle, meditation, MKUltra, social media and more covered in this Q&A Session from February 2019.
(00:01) Hello
(01:37) “How can we encourage others to get off social media?”
(05:03) “Flat earth. Where do you stand on this?”
(06:22) “Are you an atheist?”
(08:09) Answering A Question About Doing An Interview With Gabor Mate
(08:50) Answering A Question About Getting Off Social Media
(11:10) Thoughts On Pickup Artists
(14:09) “What are the points where you disagree with Eckhart Tolle?”
(16:31) Answering Short Questions
(20:16) “Do you meditate?”
(23:40) “What’s the best way to heal codependency?”
(25:34) “Have you seen dirty john on Netflix?”
(27:38) Answering short questions
(31:42) Thoughts in MKUltra Part 1
(35:09) Thoughts in MKUltra Part 2
(39:39) Responding To Short Comments
(40:53) Wrapping Up
11/2/2020 • 46 minutes, 52 seconds
What is the Dark Triad/Dark Tetrad (Introduction to a Predatory Personality Disorder)
What is the Dark Tetrad described by psychiatry?
What are the predatory personalities tactics of manipulation?
Find this out in this short excerpt from a seminar.
(00:25) DSM's Cluster B, Dark Triad and Machiavellianism
(02:27) Differences Between Disorders
(03:44) Megalomania
(05:12) The Zombie Curses and How Do They Work
11/1/2020 • 8 minutes, 12 seconds
Q and A (social media, dating, BPD)
Live Q&A Session recording from March 2019, covered topic include social media, BPD, mental health and more.
(00:07) Stating Today’s Topic
(02:20) Ending Up With A Slow Poisoning Effect Of A Dogma
(04:53) What The Channel Grew Up From Part 1
(10:36) What The Channel Grew Up From Part 2
(12:41) Talking About Using Social Media In Order To Learn Together
(14:31) Answering Short Questions
(16:31) “Where Did Your Interest In The Effects Of Social Media Stem From?”
(21:09) Talking About Using YouTube
(25:34) Difference Between The God Complex And NPD
(27:01) Talking About Messianic Complex
(28:03) Thoughts On Gabor Mate With Regard To Addictions And Trauma
(30:15) Thoughts On How Social Media Affects Dating Culture
(35:08) “Social Media Makes Me Fear I Cannot Protect Myself Against Infidelity. Any Thoughts?”
(36:56) Social Media Is A Real Issue Amongst People Of All Ages
(38:46) Is Depression Around Birthday Related To CPTSD?
(39:58) How Do You Reparent?
(41:28) What Do You Do When You Have Troubles Falling Asleep?
(44:08) “BPD Victims Get Shunned And Invalidated Because The BPD Overshadows Their Disorder With A Supposed Attached Stigma. Thoughts?”
(48:09) What Do You Do When Your Friends Are Borderline?
(51:13) Friendships Don’t Last With BPD
(53:46) Extreme Jealousy In BPD
(57:46) “How Can We Step Out Of Resentment?”
(58:51) How We Internally Talk Might Affect Our Health
(1:02:30) “Any Recommendations On PTSD Recovery Literature Besides Pete Walker’s Book?”
(1:05:08) Is There An Overlapping Between CPTSD And Asperger’s?
(1:06:26) Responding To Short Comments
(1:09:53) Wrapping Up
10/31/2020 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 11 seconds
Still Obsessing Over Ex Relationship
This is a short excerpt from a seminar, explaining that persistent annoying emotions might be unconscious alarms.
(00:01) Can You Be at Peace With Yourself About Ex Narcissist?
(00:43) Unconscious Sending You Signals
(02:07) Panic Attack Signals
(03:27) Reality Tunnels Built Around Beliefs
10/30/2020 • 5 minutes, 39 seconds
Zen is NOT for Westerners! (Ego Detachment Resulting in Diminished Self Esteem)
Whenever you've heard of "having no ego", "letting go of your ego", "killing your ego" etc.
Remember that it's mostly watered-down, consumer-friendly western versions of very, very old eastern concepts.
(01:59) Self-esteem Coming From the Unconscious Observing Your Actions
(03:55) Definition of "The Ego"
(05:44) "Having Ego" vs. Attachment to the Ego
(09:07) The Maturity of Eastern Cultures
(10:27) Everything is Context Specific (Including the Teachings)
(12:01) How to Find a Better Source of Self-esteem
10/29/2020 • 14 minutes, 16 seconds
The Upside of Being in a Long Term Relationship
In a long-term relationship, nothing is more important than its foundations.
The real reasons why you're together.
Just imagine: if you travel far away and it will take a lot of time and effort, you better make sure you're going in the right direction.
And what is the right direction for you specifically, anyway?
(00:03) Bonding to the Source of Pleasure is Not a Basis for a Long Term Relationship
(02:23) I Do Believe in Them - You Just Have to be Careful
(03:41) Evolutionary Basis for People to Be Together
(06:40) There Are Many Different Models for Relationships That One Can Choose
10/28/2020 • 10 minutes, 52 seconds
We need men to feel OK about not feeling OK
The cultural standards of masculinity can really badly impact men mental health.
Every human need the connection and the ability to just be OK with what he feels.
How great would it be if we could change these societal expectations towards men.
(00:01) The Issue of an Implicit Culturally Indoctrinated Expectation on Men to Be Strong
(04:00) Being Incompetent and Vulnerable is a Natural Human State
(07:33) We Need to Create Some Kind of Space in Which Men Can Feel Okay With Saying “I’m not okay”
(10:43) Balancing Yin and Yang
(15:05) Bullying Men Because of Their Vulnerability
(16:46) The Young Guys Need to See Other Guys of Their Age Coming Out and Admitting That They Struggle
(20:57) We Just Need Simple Human Connection and Compassion for Each Other
(26:41) Guys Admitting They Don’t Feel Good Needs to Be Hyper Normalized
(30:02) Goodbye
10/27/2020 • 30 minutes, 14 seconds
So you are not a "codependent", but...
Ok, I get that: it's not that useful to overlabel or overmedicalize things.
Yet, in SOME situations, with certain people you find yourself abondoning what's good for you.
In certain contexts you just go along, not really knowing why.
So what is really going on there and how can we better tackle that?
Listen in now to find out!
Find the course mentioned here: https://spartanlifecoach.com/coachingsummomingtheself/
(00:03) So You're Not Really a Codependent, BUT...
(03:44) Better Psychological Terms for the Issue?
(05:50) Importance of the Sense of Self in a Collective
(08:56) It is Now Fast Becoming a Crime to Have Individualized Self
(13:23) Certain Contexts That Trigger Codependent Responses
10/26/2020 • 16 minutes, 13 seconds
Spiritual Maps of Meaning will help you with moving forward (and How to Get Get Your Sun Going)
We operate in the world thanks to our internal maps.
Have you found yourself always ending up in the same place?
What could happen if you change these maps then?
Check it out now!
(00:01) Getting Started
(00:40) Internal Maps Based on Meaning and Value Moving Into Morality
(03:50) If You Are Trying and Failing to Overcome a Trauma, the Only Route Out That's Gonna Last is a Deep Change in Your Philosophical Outlook
(07:04) Talking About Neuroplasticity
(12:05) Responding to Comments
(15:29) Talking About the New Star Wars and a Deliberate Attack on Quality and Storytelling
(18:45) Do You Believe There is a Difference Between BPD and CPTSD?
(20:45) Answering a Question About Sam Vaknin
(23:05) "We need a wiki page for Richard's channel"
(26:03) "Why are narcissists everywhere in society? How can anyone cope?"
(28:11) "Do you think the US is way more traumatized than the rest of the world?"
(30:05) "How did you get the Sun" on the inside?" part 1"
(34:57) "How did you get the Sun" on the inside?" part 2"
(37:42) "Do you think ubuntu or a co-op society can work with modern humans aka no central government?"
(40:59) "How could I find out if I'm projecting?"
(44:17) Goodbye
10/18/2020 • 44 minutes, 36 seconds
What is "Healthy Narcissism"?
"Do they have broken self worth....one half perceiving they are wonderful the other half thinking they are dreadful?"
They have no self worth.
Now, wait for this because it's a mind twister:
The NPD has no "healthy narcissism".
The two halves you speak of are the two halves Sam talks about that form the NPD personality: true self and false self.
Or "authentic" self and "hyper idealised" self.
It's a constant desperate fleeing from one polarity to another.
The NPD is created by being torn and twisted between two polarities.
One in which I am a worthless piece of shit, running barefoot and naked to the promised land in which I am God like and all powerful.
The tragedy is of course both are false, both caused by a traumatic break from reality.
How to rapidly recover through contacting our emotions, a technique for that, 1984 propaganda, and more, including Q&A session.
(01:33) What Happens When Someone is Traumatized
(05:34) How to Deal With It
(10:31) Magic of the Right Question
(15:11) Mind Map Steps
(17:55) Positive Emotions and Exercises
(20:38) Past Emotions and Exercises
(24:21) Contact With Your Emotions Will Help You
(28:55) Codependence & Placebo Connection
(39:12) Inquisition Game Through Ages
(47:18) How to Resist
(50:54) Social Media and Dolphins
//Q&A Section//
(52:42) "What happens to a narc when they are exposed beyond all doubt?"
(54:05) "How do I forgive?"
(54:40) "Do you have any hard measured data you could refer to?"
(55:29) "How can you suggest we all move through our day/tasks empowered?"
(56:43) "So what you're saying is... Dolphins in captivity are living in a bubble?"
(59:10) "Why does autism get mistaken for narcissism?"
(1:00:03) "What is the role of the father?"
(1:06:09) "How to escape the living false reality that it and those in it don't want you to heal from your traumas at all costs?"
10/16/2020 • 1 hour, 19 minutes, 49 seconds
How To Do Affirmations When You Have CPTSD (with Q&A)
Affirmations are bit tricky when it comes people with CPTSD.
The risk of triggering is much higher. Why? And why would an affirmation trigger anyone?
Despite the risk, used properly, affirmations can be a great tool in your recovery.
In this episode, we'll dive into the specifics of how to help yourself with affirmations.
(00:04) Hello
(00:50) What If Your Thoughts Do Create Reality?
(05:58) Conditioning And Strengthening The Mind
(08:02) The Universe... What Does That Even Mean?
(12:18) We All Live Inside Language
(15:20) Affirmations Construct The Belief System
(20:54) Richard Talks About How He Was Love Spelled
(25:58) Why Do People With CPTSD Struggle With Affirmations?
(31:14) You Must Not Run From Pain
(34:27) The Idea Of Dharma
(38:11) The Idea Of The Fetishist Split
(40:24) How The Inner Critic Refuses To Accept The Affirmation
(45:30) What Is The Solution?
(50:50) Not Many People Really Want To Overcome Trauma
(54:56) How To Construct Your Affirmations Part 1
(1:00:23) How To Construct Your Affirmations Part 2
(1:05:30) How To Construct Your Affirmations Part 3
(1:10:37) "Is this why some people have a hard time with compliments?"
(1:11:17) "Did you use external reminders for these affirmations?"
(1:13:27) Answering A Question About Sexual Attraction To Narcissists
(1:17:47) Answering A Question About Using Affirmations To Stand Up Against The Abuser
(1:22:51) "You must not run from pain, so true. How to do this at workplace vs relationships?"
(1:24:19) "Can things that got lost in a divorce become a part of your CPTSD?"
(1:25:59) "Would you consider the emotional response of crying as a flashback?"
(1:27:05) "How do you un-catholic yourself?"
(1:30:12) "Could you address how to deal with idealizing and unwanted memories of a narccisist?"
(1:34:05) Answering A Question About Being Sexually Attracted To People Who Frighten
(1:35:39) Using Affirmations To Deal With The Emotional Flashbacks
(1:40:26) Answering A Question About Going Into Therapy With An NPD Husband
(1:44:32) "Can you be more specific on the terms of your affirmations please?"
(1:48:00) "What do you think about ayahuasca?"
(1:51:16) "How do you use affirmations to stop self-isolating and at what level?"
(1:54:49) "Nobody wants to deal with mental health issues, I understand that. Do you think that most suffer from mental issues too?"
(1:57:13) Answering The Last Questions
10/15/2020 • 1 hour, 59 minutes, 26 seconds
No boundaries? Zero protection and drug addiction follow
How to understand what boundaries are (both external and internal), why they are a MUST HAVE, what happens when we're lacking them and how it connects with drug use and relationships.
Get the course mentioned here: https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
(00:18) We Formulate Meaning by Creating Attachments
(02:42) Disclaimer of How I Use the Term 'Codependency'
(06:58) Interesting Comparisons in Vampire's Stories and Codependency
(11:07) Why Codependent Has No Boundaries?
(12:58) People Die Without Their Skin
(15:41) The Castle Metaphor for Internal Boundaries
(18:22) Dropping the Act and the Fantasy of Going Egoless
(22:23) Internal Ego Boundaries for Impulse Control and Safe Attachment
(25:48) Codependent's Usage of Drugs and People
10/14/2020 • 29 minutes, 40 seconds
Accelerate Therapeutic Process Using Intent and Humility
My hypothesis is that if we deliberately put humility back into the system, we do two things. One, we take away the natural conflicting element of the therapeutic process, the natural elements of conflict. There are two humans. There are two egos. They're in a room, and because of the context, it becomes like tennis. It becomes like boxing. It becomes like some competitive sport.
Nobody means for it to be that way. It's just that, whether you're the coach or the therapist or the client in this scenario, the dumb shaved monkeys that we are, we kind of lean towards playing dominance games, whether we want to or not. That's just the way it goes.
So before you know it, you're playing ping pong over your depression, you're playing tennis over your anxiety. You're in a boxing match with your coach, with your therapist, over the dynamics of the grieving process, or whether you're doing the right kind of work to help you to grieve for the death and the loss of your last relationship, as an example of a common thing that people would see a coach or counselor for.
So number one, the humility takes away from that dynamic. It reminds us consciously and with intent, "Look, this is just a conversation between two adults. It's not surgery. I'm not under general anesthetic. Nobody can cut the anxiety out of me." So it kind of reminds us that it's like a Socratic process. It's like philosophy. In fact, we already know it's known that you can trace the roots of psychology back to philosophy.
But this dynamic of two people talking, I mean is that not the essence of a philosophical method? Is that not like the Socratic method? You're basically debating with the hope that you're going to have a positive outcome. So as well as taking away from this ego versus ego fight, it also reminds us that this is not magic and this is just a conversation between two consenting adults, where it is presumed that we have the same goal in mind, which is to feel better at the end of it. Right?
The second thing that I think bringing this level of humility in is, it kind of moves the ego out of the way, and when I say ego in this context, obviously it is implicit. I'm not talking about the healthy ego. I'm talking about that side of the self that clings to dominance, that wants to be right, that wants to be in charge, that wants to be in control, that secretly loathes the therapeutic process, secretly loathes the humbling of having to come and ask another adult for help, where the part of life that the ego, one part of the ego is going to be going, "You should be able to do that."
And if we remind ourselves of our Sanskrit, that side of the ego is the ah Hum kaya. In Sanskrit, it was the ahamkara It is the ahamkara spoken of in Hinduism and Buddhism. That's the ego that we don't want.
(00:37) Ego Based Issues in the Therapeutic Relationship
(01:07) Humility Necessary for Change
(02:02) Asking for Help
(02:45) Step by Step Advice for Clients/therapists to Integrate Humility
(04:07) How Does It Make You Feel to Ask for Help With the Issue?
(04:32) My Hypothesis on How Putting Humility Back Into the System Accelerates Therapeutic Progress
(05:59) Consciousness and Intent
(07:28) Secret Hating of Therapy as Its Humiliating
(09:43) The Thai Buddhist Monk as Therapist
(12:08) Purifying the Intent of the Therapeutic Relationship
(13:22) Guilt of People Leaving Narcissistic Cults
(14:23) Running From Love for Fear of Vulnerability
(14:59) Necessity of That Vulnerability and Rapport for Therapy to Work
(15:39) Key Technique to Move Beyond Apparent Self Sabotage
(16:28) Integrating the Ideas in This Video Into Therapy
To join the new trauma recovery list click here https://forms.aweber.com/form/27/353806527.htm
10/13/2020 • 17 minutes, 20 seconds
How to use the "Reality Tunnels" Concept (Robert Anton Wilson and Timothy Leary)
Have you ever felt stuck in a problematic situation?
Have you felt limited in your options, like there are no other ways to see things?
That was your Reality Tunnel for the time.
This concept was first coined by Timothy Leary and later picked up by Robert Anton Wilson.
In this episode you'll discover it can be used to your advantage.
10/12/2020 • 6 minutes, 44 seconds
What Are Your "Core Values"
Here is a simple exercise, that can make you realize a lot of new things about you and your life.
Our values play a huge role in our lives, it's useful to decide on a handful, most important ones to us.
10/11/2020 • 4 minutes, 48 seconds
Law of Attraction vs. Critical Thinking vs. Authentic Spiritual Experience
Law of Attraction has become kind of a big thing over the last years.
It's very empowering and attractive concept.
Yet, should we believe EVERYTHING it promises?
In this episode we discuss the hidden dangers that might be lurking in the concepts like Law of Attraction.
If you feel like you might be ready to go beyond LOA, you'll love this episode. Listen right now!
Richard's last bit on LOA referenced: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Lt51FPammgF2YuQ1tQHru?si=QbRjqIYHSua8Hb7PKb8OXQ
Available for coaching:
Terry@spartanlifecoach.com
Steve@spartanlifecoach.com
About accountability group: https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com
(00:57) Announcing the Accountability Group
(01:40) Recommending Terry and Steve for Coaching
(02:26) Disclaimer Before Going Into the Topic
(04:40) Amazon as a Law of Attraction & The Magick of Money
(07:04) The Invisible Ideology Behind Law of Attraction
(10:31) Rationality Test of LOA
(13:17) Is It Good to Want Things?
(20:32) Religiosity, Dogma and Narcissism Link
(23:41) The Enemy is Absolutism and Certainty
//Q&A Section//
(25:23) "Creative visualisation by Shakti Gawain vs. LOA?" (+ on synchronicity)
(28:58) "About your experience and why you started the channel after meeting a Sufi, do you think having dreams every day and taking this path was by chance?"
(32:53) "I haven't got dreams since, I think I broke my head"
(34:23) "When this 30 day accountability group thing might be happening?"
(38:02) "What is going on with the book?"
(39:39) "Emotionally disregulated people throwing their stress out there"
(40:43) "Do you like to eat a raw garlic?"
(42:17) "Have you seen or heard people talking about not having any internal dialogue?"
(43:43) "Any favourite books on self-discipline?"
(44:04) "Seems ancient people thought an idea was the voice of god, and didn't know deep though thinking, it was a trance"
(45:55) About people not having internal dialogue again
(47:05) "Are inverted narcissists extreme codependents with narcissistic tendencies or other way around?"
(49:15) "Your thoughts about Aleister Crowley?"
(53:02) "I worked as a nanny for many years and I know loads of these types" (the naughty boy archetype)
(54:36) "Do you think childhood trauma like circumcision can create narcissistic personality disorder?"
(55:25) "What would you say to someone who says nobody can make you feel a certain way?"
(56:08) "What's your view on though-forms? Been targeted for years with negative psychically attacking energies"
(57:00) Initiates Need to Resolve Their Childhood Trauma
(58:37) Lament of Hermes & Religion/Discipline/Spirituality
(1:08:08) "We keep biting the apple" (Kallisti reference)
(1:09:17) What's the Best Thing in the World?
10/10/2020 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 54 seconds
Counter Parenting With a Narcissist - Reducing Trauma to the Child (Interview with Jaqui Sansom)
Jaqui Sansom works with parents to create a secure family to live in.
Jaqui has been a family and child protection lawyer for 20 years.
For more information on her work please visit her website:
https://www.powerless2powerfulparenting.com/about
(00:00) Getting started
((1:08) Is narcissism trait or a disorder?
(03:41) Can you experience trauma beyond the childhood?
(06:43) Is narcissism a scale? How does it work?
(09:00) The signs of narcissism in co-parenting
(10:33) Is it possible for a child to develop narcissistic traits?
(11:38) Children copying their parents
(12:35) Is it possible to balance narcissistic tendencies of a partner, to prevent the relationship negatively impacting the child?
(15:13) Managing contact with narcissistic co-parent in a boundaried way
(17:43) Is it possible to ameliorate the contact?
(21:00) You need a fundamental change if you want to defend yourself
(22:54) Facing the (ugly) reality is empowering
(24:42) As a non-narcissistic parent, do we overcompensate to balance narcissism?
(27:32) Even narcissistic parents can love their children, right?
(29:46) Every NPD's relationship is destined to fall
(30:59) What are the different family dynamics in a narcissistic unit? (golden child & scapegoat)
(35:36) On trauma bonding & dependency
(40:59) Cultural conditioning to bond with a romantic partner
(42:40) Does the narcissists ever recognize their behaviour?
(45:09) Goodbye
10/9/2020 • 45 minutes, 24 seconds
Questions on Codependency (Q&A)
An extensive Q&A Live Session focused on the issue of codependency.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency and people pleasing.
(00:03) Getting started
(01:27) Is it possible to act codependently towards the old, bad programming itself?
(02:00) What should we do if we find ourselves keeping quiet to avoid arguments?
(02:25) Why do we keep staying in toxic relationship even when we recognize it?
(03:01) Can you include techniques for when you are still in a bad relationship and trying to leave?
(04:41) Why when we escape toxic people, we start to feel sorry for them despite of everything they have done to us?
(05:39) Is it possible to get the course with German subtitle?
(06:14) What steps does one take to redirect the programming toward a more positive programming?
(07:02) About codependent how to helping others and not be addicted to it?
(07:28) I am still seeing someone now but still have guilt feelings. Will this course help?
(07:54) Is constant distrust in relationships an emotional flashback or a form of fawn response?
(09:45) How do you differentiate between codependency vs. attachment trauma/parentification?
(11:52) Does codependency exist by itself as a stand-alone issue or is it always a part of a larger issue?
(15:24) Is there a 'happy baby' archetype after recovering from codependency?
(16:21) Can there be people with narcissistic traits and CPTSD or should they be considered NPD's?
(20:11) Narcissism is Manifestation of CPTSD, Not It's Opposite
(33:34) The term codependency always feels elusive to me, what the eff is it exactly?
(37:50) Should abandonment issues be treated similarly or the same as codependency?
(39:08) Does an NPD always try to keep you in a nervous disposition with their drama?
10/8/2020 • 41 minutes, 43 seconds
Codependency - a way out
A seminar focusing on the topic of codependency, both in relationships and our entire life.
Many interesting areas have been covered, that also include Q&A.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to CODEPENDENCY and people pleasing.
(00:58) We Need Neuroplasticity to Make a Lasting Change
(03:11) Marks Left by the Stressed Parents & a Master-slave Dynamic
(08:04) It's Challenging for the Ego to Admit That We're Traumatized
(10:42) The One Piece of Source Code That Ruins the Relationships
(11:52) Fear of Abandonment and the Origins of the Fear of Negative Emotions
(15:15) What Does Fawning Mean?
(17:30) Everybody's an Avatar, Trauma Bonding & Intensity of the Relationship
(21:39) Why is the Sex So Good?
(22:39) Moving Towards the True Self
(24:33) Being Aware of Our Fawning
(26:42) I'll Do Me, You Do You Concept for Codependents
(28:11) Is Boundried Helping for Social Workers Possible & the Reality of Social/service Work
(32:03) Richard's Personal Example of Codependency & Unconscious Positive Intents
(33:34) Are Addictions Related to Unresolved Trauma in a Person?
(34:53) Is Codependency an Addiction, if So, Can You Be Free From It? (Conditioning vs. Addiction)
(39:04) Would You Ironically Start Helping the Narcissist if You Start Playing "the Game"
(40:33) How Can You Manage Your Relationship With a Narcissist?
(41:58) Different Cultural Coordinates & Narcissism/Codependency in Relationships
(46:56) Is There a Link Between Autism and NPD?
(50:07) Are People More Mentally Ill Than They Were 50 Years Ago?
(52:44) Why Can't I Condemn My Narcissistic Girlfriend? Why Do I Pull Away Instead?
(55:58) Saying "The Narcissist" Instead of "My Narcissist"
10/7/2020 • 58 minutes, 16 seconds
The negative effects of social media may actually be WORSE than we previously thought.
It is a known fact that social media have been deliberately crafted in a certain, not-so-good for our mental wellbeing, way.
Empower yourself with more awareness about this problem now.
Interview with Sam Vaknin: the TRUE toxicity of social media revealed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmXcjvL9VSc
Watch our documentary on the hidden toxicity of social media now
http://bit.ly/pluggedindocumentary
10/6/2020 • 8 minutes, 42 seconds
The Force of Human Will
Human will has always been with us.
It cannot perish, yet it has been suppressed over the years.
What is this force that can lead you to your highest potential?
If you want to be more driven and alive, you might enjoy this episode.
(00:00) The Concept of Human Will
(04:16) It's Very Hard to Deliver Powerful Material That is Almost Impossible to Misinterpret
(06:40) If You Want to Enslave a Lot of People, You Might Want to Make the Concept of Will Unpopular Part 1
(10:25) If You Want to Enslave a Lot of People, You Might Want to Make the Concept of Will Unpopular Part 2
(13:50) Apathy, Indifference and Irony Instead of Will and Individualism
(19:26) Shamelessness is Not Good Also
(24:24) We're Losing Our Social Contracts Now
(30:17) Goodbye
10/5/2020 • 30 minutes, 26 seconds
"Why is my friend depressed?"
It's worth exhausting all the methods before you try the pharmaceutical solution for depression.
In this episode I present my short take on the problem of depression.
Hopefully some of that will come useful for you.
(00:12) The Major Myth of Chemical Imbalance
(02:02) Living a Life That is Depressing
(02:57) The Need for Progress
(03:39) The Health Aspects
(05:02) Your Mind and Body Needs to Be Disciplined
(07:47) Anger Repression & Psychosomatic Symptoms
10/4/2020 • 8 minutes, 57 seconds
"Spiritual" Competition in Western Buddhist Psychotherapy and The Kallisti Myth
There is so much posturing in some of the "spiritual" circles.
It goes even into the Buddhist and academic circles.
Why all that? There's no need to overcomplicate things which were meant to be simple.
(00:25) Kallisti and the Golden Apple
(02:35) Dialectical Behaviour Therapy & Training Objective Constancy With Zen Meditation
(06:31) The Concept of Radical Acceptance
(09:37) When Physical Conflict is Less Painful Than One's Suffering
(12:22) Spiritual Competition & "The Kallisti Effect"
(19:37) Don't Put on a Front (Why Am I Swearing?)
(22:01) The Dangerous Cycle of Idealization, Devaluation, Discarding
(24:38) No Need to Obsess Over Supernatural Aspects of Buddhism or Taking the Stories Too Literally
10/3/2020 • 33 minutes, 14 seconds
How to use NLP Visualisations to Heal (with Q&A)
Can you heal yourself with visualisation?
Maybe that'd be too much to promise.
But isn't the fact that the imagined experience and a real experience is seen as the same by the brain, mind-boggling?
NLP has been used in the context of healing and emotional recovery for some time now.
How and why does it work? Let's dive in into that right now!
(00:01) Hello
(00:48) Your Body and Brain Don't Really Know the Difference Between the Real Experience and the Experience That's Vividly Imagined
(06:16) NLP for Healing
(10:34) Why Does NLP Work?
(15:10) The Heavier Your Story is, the Less Options You Have
//Q&A Section//
(18:07) "Before having a healthy relationship does one needs to be healed?"
(19:03) "Maybe you should come up with a blue belt/black belt system, some of your videos are for people further down the healing path and can come off overwhelming or offensive to newbies"
(20:26) "How do you get sociable in today's climate?"
(21:18) "I seem to attract narcissistic people, my mother seems to be one too. Am I doomed?"
(22:07) "I've got mad and turned the TV off but only because Richard said the truth and I did not want to hear it"
(25:10) "Do you believe that a person can heal and still have multiple narcissists around them?"
(26:21) "How do narcissists handle the conflict of gaining supply from their child success and sabotaging, so they will never leave?"
(28:37) "How did you follow bachata instructions in Prague language wise?"
(30:09) "How do you deal with the loneliness after cutting out a toxic person who was a large part of your happiness before?"
(32:39) "Is being alone bad? I'm not really enjoying people's company, is that bad?"
(33:30) "What if you have no recollection or knowledge of trauma in childhood but you've had some toxic narcissistic relationships and resemble a victim?"
(34:32) "How do you deal with stress when you only know self-harming ways being satisfying?"
(37:47) Talking About the Dark Triad Part 1
(43:25) Talking About the Dark Triad Part 2
(44:45) "Could all the negative emotions be distilled to fear?"
(47:14) "How do I rebuild my credibility after an online slander defamation campaign?"
(49:11) "How can I rebuild my relationship with my mother after going no contact?"
(50:25) "Any tips for co-parenting when you are both likely dealing with c-ptsd?"
(52:43) "Do we all have trauma because the village is gone?" part 1
(56:40) "Do we all have trauma because the village is gone?" part 2
(58:31) "How to build a fresh perception of people after losing the naivety?"
(1:03:43) "Can a black sheep ever really trust and build a relationship with a golden child in the narcissistic family unit?"
(1:08:39) "How's the knee?"
(1:09:44) "Golden child is usually narcissistic? I was temporarily the golden child"
(1:10:59) Goodbye
10/2/2020 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 18 seconds
Park Bench Zen (simple, quick technique to create mental calm)
Meditation is not the only way to achieve mindfulness and mental calm!
Sometimes your brain might need to take a slow walk in nature.
And sometimes just sit on a bench and observe.
If you want to invite more mindfulness into your life then listen right now!
10/1/2020 • 5 minutes, 5 seconds
No Story, Just THIS (Authenticity and Present Momentness)
When you pull out of the virtual, created world,
you wake up to the now. The present moment.
The present is simply what is.
How precious is that?
(00:20) The Dangers of Getting Lost in the Story
(04:58) Performing for Others in the Social Media World
(07:53) It's Not a Point-scoring Game & Why Reality is Far Better
(11:03) On Meditation
9/30/2020 • 13 minutes, 35 seconds
How to Stay Present in Difficult Times?
The world is crumbling all around you?
Everything seems to be falling apart?
Can we achieve meditative states in all of that?
And, without meditation frustrations?
(00:15) Don't Fetishize Meditation
(02:01) How a Moral Philosophy Will Improve Your Life and Meditation
(05:28) What to Do if You Find Meditation Distressing?
(08:49) Visualization vs Meditation & How Social Media Relay on Content
(13:19) Association vs. Dissociation
(15:00) How We Are Reliant on 'The Voice-over'
(20:34) What You Want is to Come Back to Reality
(23:34) The Media Spiking Your Adrenaline and Traumatizing You
(27:47) Take Action in This Reality
(30:27) We're Worshiping the Idols Themselves
(35:23) The Normalized Narcissism and Dissociative Identity in Our Culture
(38:26) People Trapped in Materialism
(40:28) Recommending the Cure for All of That
(45:17) When You Want to Be Kinder to Others
//Q&A Section//
(47:35) "Reducing the suffering in the world as much as you can"
(49:17) "Why do I feel like I'm wasting time if I'm doing nothing?"
(50:33) "Can you speak more to your definition of entitlement?"
(55:03) "Sometimes being seen is the least/most anyone ever wanted"
(57:51) "Is everything in society made to reduce us to our base instincts, so we become more compliant?"
(1:01:28) We Haven't Lost Religion, We Reverted to Fetishism
(1:04:20) We Just Need to Come Back to Ourselves
9/29/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 57 seconds
Meditation
Don't let meditation make you go bonkers.
This episode will demystify it for you
and make you feel calm and confident about it
(00:33) Guiding Awareness vs. Receiving
(02:38) There's Nothing Better Than Now
(03:56) Why is Not Being in the Now a Problem?
(06:32) Bringing Yourself to the Present Moment
(08:00) What's the Difference Between This, and Disassociation?
9/28/2020 • 10 minutes, 21 seconds
The 3 Main Mind Games Played By Narcissists (Psychological Torture Tactics)
Narcissists operate in the same ways, whether it's in the microcosmos or macrocosmos.
They will do everything to turn the truth upside down and gain as much control over you as they can.
Your power is in your agency and will.
Being aware of these tactics will make you stronger more resilient.
(00:13) #1 Key Principle - Isolation & Perception Control
(01:05) Altering the Emotional State
(02:10) #2 Invert Communication
(05:05) Controlling the Narrative
(05:49) Characterization
(07:28) #3 Punish the Truth
(09:25) There's an Opportunity in Crisis
(10:30) Major Changes You Need to Make if You Want to Live as Sovereign Adult
(16:10) Goodbye
9/27/2020 • 16 minutes, 21 seconds
Monogamy, Sexuality - WHY we may not be getting this right and HOW to fix it
Many believe in monogamy, others vote for polygamy, but what is it really all about?
Our thinking about sexuality can be a lot better than it is now.
If you're reading this you probably wish to have a healthy, harmonic and fulfilling sex and intimate life.
If so, you've come to the right place - listen now!
(00:01) Introduction
(01:03) The Argument That Monogamy is Not Natural
(04:13) That Polyamory is Better
(06:45) Why is Monogamy Not Working Right Now?
(15:51) What Does It Take for Monogamy to Work?
(20:56) Moral Philosophy and Internal Boundaries
(37:43) Treating Others Sexuality Like an Adult and Mapping Your Own Sexuality
(41:46) Sexual Compatibility
(48:26) Compassion and Humanness as Fundaments for Relationships
9/26/2020 • 55 minutes, 3 seconds
Joint Custody With A Narcissist
A joint custody with a narcissist is a horrible place to be in.
It can be a messy situation, but hopefully with this one tip I can give you as a psychologist, you will come out of it safe.
9/25/2020 • 3 minutes, 33 seconds
Is Madness the Key to Success? Yes (Because we are evolved to SURVIVE not take selfies)
Why being MAD will make you successful?
How being a taboo breaker is good for your growth?
If you've been perpetually finding yourself spinning your wheels, what I am explaining here might be the reason why.
Listen in and discover the new territory.
(00:00) Starting With a Piece of Advice
(00:47) Why This is a Topic That Needs to Be Explored
(03:34) The Correct Approach to Business
(07:20) The Kind of Self-concept You Need
(09:18) The Beginning of the New Video
(10:08) The Comfort Zone of Repetition
(13:02) What Happens if You Take a New Action
(15:58) Your Brain is Not Goal-oriented, It Likes to Map Things
(18:44) The Reason Why Your Brain Likes the Comfort Zone
(22:22) What is “Madness”?
(26:48) Why is It So Hard to Be “Mad”?
(28:15) The One Key Element to Success
9/25/2020 • 30 minutes, 18 seconds
Is there Hope for Narcissists to be Healed
Narcissistic disorder is a spectrum.
That means, someone may exhibit some narcissistic traits, or have their entire personality taken over by it.
Should we strive for healing the NPD? Is it even possible?
If so, what really is the problem inside a narcissist's psyche?
(00:00) Getting Started
(01:58) So Narcissism is a Defense Mechanism?
(04:59) What is It a Defense Mechanism Against?
(07:40) Internalized Super-ego of a Narcissist
(12:47) You Shouldn't Hope to Heal a Narcissist
(16:15) Narcissism Might Get Stiffer and Reach the Point Where It's No Longer Possible to Deal With It
(19:18) Richard Explains Why He Doesn't Believe in Healing NPD
(24:06) If Someone Wants to Try and Heal NPD, They Might Want to Focus on Healing the Inner Critic
(24:36) Goodbye
9/24/2020 • 25 minutes, 33 seconds
Narcissists - Battle Them or Walk Away? (The Samurai Strategy of Musashi)
You may think that the narcissist is smart.
But you can be smarter.
By having your eyes and ears open you know when and what he's about to do.
This is when you act knowing exactly what to do.
(00:02) Introduction - Should You Fight or Not?
(01:40) Seeing the Intent to Attack (The Strategy of Holding Down the Pillow)
(04:28) You Decide if You Should Go to Battle (Context and Objectives)
(06:57) What Am I Looking for in That Situation?
9/23/2020 • 8 minutes, 23 seconds
Is Hypnosis Real? The Truth!
Hypnosis has been totally misrepresented in the pop culture.
There are so many weird stereotypes and misunderstandings around it.
That's unfavorable considering how it can help people change for the better.
Here you'll discover what hypnosis REALLY is and what it really does.
(00:13) Richard's Background With Learning Hypnosis
(01:54) We Need Unconscious Reconditioning
(04:05) Is Hypnosis a "Special" State or Normal State?
(09:56) Hypnosis as a Single-minded Focus (Is That Why It's Working?)
(14:42) Immorality of Hypnosis and Hypnosis in Marketing
(16:16) Hypnosis Just Make You Change the Ways You Think and Feel
9/22/2020 • 21 minutes, 30 seconds
"I'm being scapegoated at work, please help!" - stop being so nice
This is a short and powerful excerpt from UCLA seminar about preventing the scapegoating.
(00:01) You're Too Nice
(01:49) You Don't Need to Be Super Aggressive Confrontational Person (Target Hardening)
(03:24) Lacking Proper Boundaries
9/21/2020 • 5 minutes, 47 seconds
How does NLP differ from CBT?
In my experience working in Probation Service I came upon the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
I was also well-trained in NLP, so here are some differences I saw between these two.
In this episode I describe how both models approach the problem, using a real-life example.
9/20/2020 • 10 minutes, 17 seconds
Warning - the new course is going to be triggering for some!
It's time to come to the truth that subjugating to others is no longer morally good.
In reality, hiding your authentic self does no good to anybody.
Standing up for yourself can be uncomfortable at first, but that's the life you want.
If you're a people pleaser or codependent, solutions offered here might be exactly what you need.
Get the course mentioned here:
-> Summoning the Self https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
(00:24) Course Prerequisites, and Why is It Triggering
(11:42) Cowardliness & Inferiority Complex, Slave Morality, Fake Self Responses
(19:02) We're All Gonna Need to Review and Adapt Our Belief System to Function in the New World
(21:21) You Must Be Willing to Help Yourself
//Q&A Section//
(23:07) "How do you not identify with your emotions so you can observe them?"
(24:52) "How do we know we're ready for this course for sure?"
(25:19) "I suffer from abandonment issues rather than codependency, what would your advice be to work on this?"
(26:07) "What are the somatic aspects of your course, or do you include them?"
(26:55) "How much would it be to have all courses in regard to BPD?"
(27:43) "How do I know if I am making the right decisions for myself when I have never shown up for myself like this before?" (emotional feedback system)
(32:05) "If you know yourself as someone who doesn't take a stand for yourself when you feel uncomfortable used and manipulated, you have to learn to stand for your authentic self"
(36:59) "Since doing the work my mother expressed feelings of abandonment, are my boundaries too harsh?" (the power to assert your true will)
(41:04) The point is to reach balance, not to go from prey to predator
(42:35) "Do you have any book recommendations in addition to the course?" (Adler's "what is the purpose of that behaviour?")
(46:32) Maya. What is illusion?
(48:22) "Does the course help with counter dependency as well?"
9/19/2020 • 50 minutes, 4 seconds
Sam Vaknin Seminar - "To Be Seen"
What if all Cluster B personality disorders and codependency have this one root reason?
How narcissism is an epidemic in our today's world?
Most of what academics think about personality disorders might be wrong.
Find the answers why in this fascinating Sam Vaknin's London seminar.
(00:01) Getting Started
(04:01) There’s an Epidemic of Not Being Seen
(08:41) What Happens if the Child is Not Seen
(12:51) Why Narcissists and Codependents Attract Each Other So Powerfully
(18:14) What Happens if Everyone’s Not Being Seen
(23:00) Why Narcissists and Codependents Are Basically the Same Thing
(25:14) What Happens if the Whole Nation is Not Seen
(29:24) The Reason Why This Topic Has to Be Explored
(33:38) Nobody Tells Us About the Boundary Beyond Which Self-confidence Becomes Arrogance
(37:44) Chances of Coming Across a Narcissist Today is Much Higher Than Ever Before
(42:22) Narcissism Not as a Personality Disorder but as a Post-traumatic Condition
(48:03) Many Human Behaviors Are Virus-like
(49:36) Why Narcissism is an Acquired Behavior
(51:51) How Scholars and Studies Adopt to Society That Shift Towards Narcissism
(55:29) Psychopaths and Narcissists Have Self-limiting Mechanisms
(58:05) The Complicity of the So-called Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Part 1
(1:02:27) The Complicity of the So-called Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Part 2
(1:05:21) Victimhood Becomes a Profession
(1:09:43) How Victimhood Behaviors Are Encouraged
(1:11:05) Non-narcissistic Behavior Nowadays Leads to Worse Outcomes
(1:15:17) Males Have More Opportunities to Be Narcissistic
(1:18:55) What is the Difference Between NPD and Borderline?
(1:23:06) How West Infects East With Narcissism
(1:27:14) Codependency is a Disorder That is Not Recognized
(1:30:02) There Are Many Ways of Manipulating a Narcissist
(1:33:40) How the Whole Nations That Were Being Traumatized for Many Years Become Narcissistic
(1:42:48) Sam Explains Why He’s Against Medicalization of Human Psychology
(1:46:06) Goodbye
9/18/2020 • 1 hour, 46 minutes, 13 seconds
How does NPD/BPD develop in kids
This is a follow up and complement of UCLA seminar on the development of personality disorders in kids.
The video of a seminar mentioned at the beginning: https://www.instagram.com/tv/B1WI-YlgSy6/?igshid=1s28sdgyl6hi9
(00:01) Hello
(05:00) Extreme Protectiveness
(09:52) Growing Up Environment
(14:21) When Love Is Aggression
9/17/2020 • 18 minutes, 28 seconds
HEALING Narcissistic Abuse In 2 Steps (How To RECOVER From Narcissistic ABUSE)
There's not a lot of things so powerful for recovery, like this.
This goes deep into your being, and is about the core of who you are.
Take a closer look at the concepts of integrity, personality, self-image and values with this episode,
and get clear insights on your recovery process.
(00:26) What is Integrity and How Can It Be Lost?
(01:52) What is a Persona-lity and It's Disintegration
(03:37) Changing the Story and Aligning With Truth
(05:19) Perhaps You Are More Than That What You Think You Are
(08:46) Embrace a Self-image and a Narrative That You'll Enjoy
9/16/2020 • 10 minutes, 30 seconds
How To OVERCOME FEAR In Uncertain Times (Use These 3 Words)
In those uncertain times it's easy to lose your head sometimes.
You get anxious, uncertain of the future, fear creeps in and start to block you.
It CAN be overcome, and for a long time, I've used these 3 words that helped me immensely.
(00:16) The 1st Word That Will Help You Stop Fear
(01:44) The 2nd Word to Deepen Your Non-fearful State
(04:39) The 3rd Word
(05:43) We Have the Power to Imagine
(09:49) There is Profit and Control in Fear (Don't Let Them)
(11:37) Short Mention of Richard's Meditation Technique
9/15/2020 • 13 minutes, 4 seconds
How Your Genes Bully You To Get Back With Your Ex
If you can't get over your ex partner, there might be strong, evolutionary reasons for that.
We are human-animal creatures carrying genes that want to be carried on.
What if this drive influence our thoughts and feelings?
If you want to know more, listen in.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(01:05) The Selfish Gene Idea
(03:03) Example of Pair Bonding Blindness
(07:36) How the Lizard Brain is Coming Back to an Ex Partner Because You Are Pair Bonded
(11:21) The Genetic Mafia
9/14/2020 • 14 minutes, 47 seconds
Ill effects of adolescent social media usage on mental health
Social media use has a huge effect on our mental state, and can even influence the mental health.
This is especially true for adolescents, as their stage of development poses special challenges and risks.
In this episode we're talking about upcoming documentary on social media (that has been released now), and then we go into Q&A session.
The documentary discussed - "PLUGGED IN: The True Toxicity of Social Media Revealed" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHzwMLx-rKc
(00:00) Getting Started
(00:48) Info About the Upcoming Sam Vaknin's Seminar
(03:53) Talking About Releasing the Documentary and What It's Going to Be About Part 1
(09:04) Talking About Releasing the Documentary and What It's Going to Be About Part 2
(13:01) Why Work With Teens and Not Younger Kids?
(14:40) Narcissists Love Facebook. I Hate It, Too Many Noisy People Wanting to Be Celebs
(19:16) Talking About News Nowadays
// Q&A //
(20:38) Answering Short Questions
(22:42) We Are Entering Into George Orwell's Worst Nightmares
(24:32) Will I Get a Chat With You at the Event?
(29:01) Thoughts on Empathy
(32:39) Doesn't It Worry You That Narcs Have Demons Seriously Dangerous to Be Around?
(34:42) What Are Some Good Tools to Help You When You're Further Ahead on Your Recovery?
(36:28) Is It Possible to Become a Narcissist Due to Trauma in Your Late Teens? Part 1
(39:59) Is It Possible to Become a Narcissist Due to Trauma in Your Late Teens? Part 2
(44:17) Narcissism is Not a Personality Disorder?
(47:05) Wrapping Up
9/13/2020 • 49 minutes, 7 seconds
Redflags of Emotional Abuse
When emotional abuse is on a horizon, you want to have clear and precise discernment.
Check out these quick 5 redflags of emotional abuse.
(00:00) Introduction
(00:51) #1 The Whirlwind Romance (The Love Bombing Phase)
(01:15) #2 Too Much Too Soon
(01:45) #3 Pronounced Feelings of Doubt and Anxiety
(02:13) #4 Isolation From Support Network
(02:38) #5 Erosion of Values
9/12/2020 • 3 minutes, 43 seconds
Live Chat (Q&A)
A Q&A Live Chat session with questions covering topics of workplace abuse, parenting, CPTSD, narcissism and other disorders connections, and more.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(00:00) Hello
(01:13) “How does CPTSD relate to mobbing? How can one be less of a target?”
(04:00) “Is it common to have played all the roles of a dysfunctional family at different times?”
(06:22) “Aren’t all psychopaths narcissistic?”
(07:00) “What to do if because of your past you may be hyper-vigilant to a point you might be misreading potential suitors?”
(08:55) “I have a narcissist, maybe borderline, in a class I teach. How do I manage her behavior, so she doesn’t affect the group?”
(12:20) “Do you think there’s a link between CPTSD and ADHD?”
(14:43) “What would be the key difference between CPTSD and borderline?”
(19:41) “I’m confused. Isn’t there different types of BPD?”
(23:54) “Should I stop trying to date if I’m not interested in normal?”
(25:07) “Your thoughts on the emotional effect on children with so many parents putting their children on YouTube? Future narcissists in the making perhaps?”
(29:47) Talking About the Black Mirror and Screen Wipe
(31:11) “Now that I’m away from a narcissist I’m being flooded with memories I had forgotten and the accompanying emotions. Is this a normal part of the process?”
(32:15) “I’m also witnessing adapted histrionic behavior on YouTube.”
(35:00) You’ve Got to Let Memories Flow and Come Through
(38:04) “But we can control the YouTube corporate narrative by focusing on watching uplifting content”
(39:49) “Are Klingons NPD's?”
(44:43) “How to deal with sexual harassment at work?”
(45:59) All Personality Disorders Are Rooted in CPTSD
(49:31) Answering a Question About Child Sexual Abuse
(54:56) Wrapping Up
9/11/2020 • 55 minutes, 48 seconds
Tips to STRENGTHEN your mindset
A strong mind will get you far in life.
What does it mean to have a strong mindset?
Why does it come down to standards we chose to have and values we chose to cherish?
If you want real personal development, find out more here.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(01:19) The Problem With Psychology Today & Using Philosophy
(03:51) You Need to Know What Your Life is About
(04:40) No Values or Junk Values Will Destroy You
(06:55) Quantum Leap in Your Development
(07:48) False Signalling in Today's World
(09:32) The End Goal is Feelings
9/10/2020 • 10 minutes, 40 seconds
How to Overcome Fear and Anxiety (My Top 3 Tips)
Here are 3 tips you don't hear very often about overcoming anxiety.
Fear takes our life away from us, there's no reason to let it waste our time.
These tips will make you feel more calm and confident about dealing with those feelings.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(01:31) #1 Being Self-determined & Having Internal Locus of Control
(03:38) #2 Develop Better Relationship With Yourself
(05:00) #3 Monitor the Way You Speak
(08:09) Fear Proportion to Threat and It's Role, Richard's Experience
(11:59) Body's Response to Fear
// Q&A Section //
(14:12) "What are your thoughts on Jordan Peterson?"
(14:43) All the Emotions Have Positive Intent
(15:42) "How Do You Ground Yourself?"
(17:33) "Is there a way to switch from introvert to extravert?"
(18:19) "How do I stop abandoning myself?"
(18:51) "It (anxiety) probably has to do a lot with status"
(21:57) "Perhaps things like bipolar or BPD is the emotional consequence of your status being reaffirmed one minute and denied the next?"
9/5/2020 • 23 minutes, 29 seconds
How to work through Self Sabotage
Do you know how it's like when just before getting THAT THING, suddenly it just blows up?
Suddenly you lose the drive, or shit hits the fan any other way.
Why would we self sabotage ourselves? Is that US really doing that?
If you want to discover more about the Self Sabotage concept, this is the episode for you!
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(00:28) How to Overcome the Unconscious Rules That Sabotage Us?
(02:54) Challenge Believes With Objectivity (What Do You Gain From It?)
(08:25) Gap Between Reality and Expectations (The Map)
(12:07) How Does the Spiritual Schools Deal With That?
(14:43) Summing Up
9/4/2020 • 15 minutes, 45 seconds
How to Deal With Psychosomatic Illness
Ever experienced worsened headache/back pain/bowels symptoms due to STRESS?
Maybe you suffer from a chronic problem with a specific body part?
Psychosomatic illness is an illness which is caused or exacerbated by psychological factors, stress and unresolved emotional conflict or issue.
It's a fascinating topic involving the exploration of the unconscious mind and learning its language.
In this episode you'll hear my take on that, including some examples.
Listen right now!
*The recommended dream analysis website: https://dreamhawk.com
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(00:08) What's a Psychosomatic Illnesses?
(01:26) The Unconscious, Symbols and Dreams
(02:48) Body Parts Symbology With Examples (knees, bladder...)
(07:39) Be Careful With Your Words
(09:35) Further Examples (throat, migraines...)
(13:39) Unconscious Blocks & How They Work
(18:18) You Really Do Live Inside the Matrix
(21:38) The Brain is Designed to Map External Reality
9/3/2020 • 26 minutes, 23 seconds
How to Help a Friend With Childhood Abuse?
Wonder how you could help your friend?
We don't need a psychology degree - it's enough we are human.
Because as a human you have the ability to BE present, to compassionately hold space for others.
Curious about hearing more? Listen right now!
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(01:07) Danger of Bringing Back and Reliving Old Bad Experiences
(02:45) Holding Compassion and Being Present
(05:03) Reduce Suffering by Being Normal
(08:25) Avoid "Invading", Yin vs. Yang Ways of Helping
9/2/2020 • 12 minutes, 30 seconds
How to Make GOOD DECISIONS When Dealing With TOXIC PARENTS & FAMILY (Narcissistic Parents)
Toxic parents and family is often one of the biggest hindrance to our growth.
The sad truth is, often they DON'T want to see us thrive and shine as an emotionally mature adult.
But this must not stop us from taking the responsibility and fulfilling the potential we have.
With these tips, it will be much easier!
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(01:13) You Need Good Role Models (Internalizing Good Inner Mother and Father That Guide Us Through Life)
(06:03) Is It Possible and Enough?
(11:11) The Desire to Be Seen, to Be Watched
(13:14) Overcoming CPTSD Obstacles
(16:28) Summoning Yourself Back Into Being to Know What You Want
9/1/2020 • 24 minutes, 30 seconds
"HELP! Im having a meltdown!" 6 steps to Eradicate Flashbacks in PTSD/CPTSD
A meltdown is almost always an EMOTIONAL FLASHBACK.
What does it mean? Why do we experience a flashback and what can be done about it?
When you understand what is going on, it's easier to manage these intense emotions popping up.
This is what you must know:
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(00:07) Getting Started, What is CPTSD and Flashbacks?
(04:24) How to Deal With a Meltdown?
(08:20) Shortly on the 4f Stress Responses (Fawn, Fight, Flight, Freeze)
(09:33) Acknowledging the Flashbacks
(14:47) A Child Cannot Conceptualize Traumatic Events
(19:28) Burning in the Neuropathways, Conditioning, Shock
(24:47) Combat Veterans PTSD and BPD Connection
(31:05) Calling Out Flashbacks, Finding Triggers and State Management
(33:27) You Need to Be Careful With Relationships
8/31/2020 • 41 minutes, 49 seconds
Misplaced Anger, Politics and The Effects of the Absent Father (with Q&A)
A hangout from 2016 discussing political and cultural topics (including intimacy, porn and sex) including a Q&A section.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(00:07) Brexit and Politics Part 1
(05:09) Brexit and Politics Part 2
(07:49) Why People Defend Donald Trump
(12:17) Conspiracy Theories Are Comforting
(16:12) Politicians Don't Really Want to Make Unpopular Decisions
(20:32) Where Are the Bosses?
(23:30) We're Living in Some Weird Mutated Version of 1984
(25:05) Advice for All of Us
(29:33) Narcissism Has Become a Mainstream Cultural Value
(32:14) Don't Overcomplicate Complicated Problems
(37:35) How Can I Move on and Put Them Aside Without Avoiding and Suppressing My Emotions or Simply Bypassing?
(40:04) Sex in a Modern Society According to Slavoj Žižek
(41:32) Porn Binging to Self-medicate
(47:10) Love is a Multidimensional Realm Where You Also Can Get Hurt
(51:05) Change Everything
(54:37) The Hangover Feeling of Being Unattractive
(59:22) What Hollywood Will Teach You About Intimacy is Guaranteed to Hook You on Antidepressants
(1:04:11) The Key Problem is the Narcissistic and Absent Father
(1:09:08) If a Man is Fully Formed Emotionally Mature Adult With a Backbone, What Can Some Seductress Chick Really Do?
(1:11:16) No Parent Needs to Do Anything Particularly Amazing, Just Be There
(1:12:51) Grief That Needs to Be Expressed
(1:17:02) Choosing the Wrong Men
(1:21:01) Reading the Last Question
(1:24:18) Many Narcissists Have a Great Sense of Humor
(1:27:04) How People With CPTSD Can Be Useful to Certain Institutions Part 1
(1:32:52) How People With CPTSD Can Be Useful to Certain Institutions Part 2
8/30/2020 • 1 hour, 36 minutes, 27 seconds
Hannibal Lecter - Narcissist or Psychopath?
Silence of the Lambs has been one of my favorite books.
And the movie adaptation is, in my opinion, the best book to movie adaptation ever.
It's a fascinating story seen from the perspective of narcissistic abuse.
The main characters and their relationship portrayed, can give as a great insight into the "abuser - victim" dance.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(00:23) Characterization of Clarice Starling
(04:16) The Predators and Prays Worldview That Hannibal Lecter Tries to Teach Clarice
(07:52) Is Lecter a Psychopath or a Narcissist
(10:01) Hannibal Lecter Seducing Clarice Starling
(17:40) Clarice Seeing a Lost Lamb in Dr Lecter
8/29/2020 • 19 minutes, 56 seconds
5 Tips for Overcoming Habitual People Pleasing
From all the nasty habits one can have, people pleasing is the one that is often overlooked, yet VERY impactful.
It manifests everywhere, where we interact with other people.
And that's a BIG portion of your life.
People pleasing will sabotage your interests, damage your self-respect and thus your well-being.
We want to get rid of that and be a sovereign adult instead.
Here are 5 quick tips that will help you to overcome the people pleasing habit.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(00:00) Quick Introduction to the Concept
(01:15) #1 Putting Yourself First
(03:30) #2 Deal With Your Guilt
(05:52) #3 Accept Other People Suffering
(09:12) #4 Ask for What You Want
(11:09) #5 Be Courageously You (Ditch the Act)
(13:42) "How to deal with the bad conscience after saying no and feeling the others' disappointment?"
(14:55) "What do you think about this statement: it's ok to be disagreeable sometimes. It feels like people pleasing is neurotic agreeableness."
(18:55) "The fear feels existential. What to do about it?"
(19:50) "Does "Accept others suffering" also include the suffering of the narcissist?"
(20:24) "How do you start to find the real authentic you under all the people pleasing?"
(21:10) "What about addictions? (and codependent relation with reality)"
(26:01) False Self and Bringing Back the Real Self
(28:05) "Do you think the prey/predator role-playing in BDSM is "Useful" at all?"
(30:26) "Do you feel like there's a point in childhood where the child actually chooses a path of either prey or predator?"
(36:04) "Is feeling undeserving the same as feeling guilt?"
(36:22) "Give me some self assertiveness tips not to be afraid to argue/fight?"
(37:32) "Thoughts on DBT?"
(38:25) "Can you give us any pointers on dealing with adult children who are mentally unstable and codependency please?"
(39:32) Answering Short Questions
(40:58) Recap
(42:45) #6 Develop a New Ethic
Motivation doesn't come from nowhere!
It's a natural force pushing you forward to what's important to YOU.
Either it's presence, or lack of it, is a valuable signal.
In this episode we look into what is the PURPOSE of "goals", and how to use the goal setting exercises to summon your motivation.
-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ
-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency, people pleasing, and more.
(00:14) What is Motivation & a Goal REALLY
(01:51) What the Goal Setting Exercise is for?
(03:55) Presenting the Exercises Part 1
(05:49) Quick List of Emotional Needs Related to Our Goals
(08:44) Presenting the Exercises Part 2
(10:19) Goal vs. Direction
(12:06) Lifestyle Congruent With Values?
(14:07) Presenting the Exercises Part 3
8/28/2020 • 15 minutes, 31 seconds
How to Make Anything Happen (Ferocity of Intent)
If there's one thing without which no technique is effective, it's this.
With the sheer will you can do anything.
Ancient people knew that well.
Now is the time to put that to use in practice!
(00:17) Introduction
(02:33) The Skills Need to Be Drilled
(04:35) Why People Won't Apply the Technique?
(08:40) Ferocity of Intent
(12:57) I Am Going to Make This Work or Die Trying!
8/25/2020 • 16 minutes, 2 seconds
Does Social Media Use Make Millennials More Narcissistic?
Social media influence our lives in a large way.
How do they influence our character and behaviour?
What does the research say?
Find out all about it in this episode.
(00:41) On "Plugged in" Documentary
(02:04) What Do You Believe Narcissism Stems From?
(04:18) Spoiling is Abuse, Does Overpraising Raise Narcissist?
(09:29) Social Media Usage Correlation With Mental Health Issues
(12:16) Social Media Breeding Narcissism?
(17:13) To What Extent Social Media is Accountable for the Rise of Narcissism Amongst Millennials?
(22:30) Between Young Males and Females, Who Do You Believe is More Narcissistic and Why?
(28:30) Not All Social Media Users Are Narcissists, but Those Platform Do Turn Otherwise Normal People Into Attention Seekers
//Q&A Section//
(32:26) "How to kill social media?"
(33:41) "Those of us who are traumatized, are at higher risk of injury and addiction of social media?"
(34:16) "How much do you think the self-empowerment cultural phenomena has normalized or even idealized narcissism?"
(36:17) "How do you know when you've successfully installed a new unconscious rule and it's ok to move to the next one?"
(36:46) "How do you feel about social media and it's effects on youth suffering anorexia?"
(38:21) "How do you explain to adults and children the importance of empathy?"
(39:49) "Why did you say that you hoped that Peterson phenomena was over?" (Zizek debate)
(44:44) "I like Paterson's take on responsibility"
(45:39) "Where to look for good moral philosophy?"
(47:02) Make Friends With Your Superego, He Helps You to Act According to Your Values
(50:14) "To think thoughts to the end, not just one sentence like in the media" (debating vs. arguing)
(56:23) "Have you knew of PTSD case in which the psychological condition could have caused physical illness?"
(57:44) "Language gets diluted and full of fillers these days"
8/24/2020 • 59 minutes, 13 seconds
How Does the Narcissistic Immigrant Family Unit Form?
Why would some immigrants families display narcissistic tendencies?
What are the psychological dynamics taking place?
(00:00) Stating Today's Topic
(04:57) Where the Narcissistic Personality Type is Typically Born Into According to Sam Vaknin's Book
(06:12) How and Why the Immigrant Families Encourage Abstention From Social Contacts
(07:56) As Your Status is Constantly Brought Down Externally, You Need to Find Semi-delusional Ways of Elevating Back Up
(10:39) Envy, Rejection, Self-isolation and the Kind of Shared Psychosis Among a Unit
(15:41) Emphasizing the Efficacy of Some Arcane Logic the Unit Possesses
(17:49) The Unit Adopts a Transactional Approach to Life and Regards Certain Traits as an Expression of Superiority
(19:06) Narcissists Compulsively Deny Any Form of Attachment to Anything
(23:27) Emotional Involvement Preventative Measures of Narcissists
(28:08) Narcissists Rejecting Adulthood
(30:14) The Intimate Partners of Narcissists Eventually Become Annoying to Them
(33:17) Wrapping Up
Questions and Answers session from April 2020 - covering both psychology, and current events comments and questions.
(00:07) How do you recognize the difference between CPTSD and narcissism?
(02:08) Covert narcissist & schizophrenic seems the same. Why?
(03:13) What does BPD look like in a work environment?
(05:04) Will life on earth be worth living 50 years in the future?
(06:38) Has social media helped or harmed humanity?
(10:24) What is your view on dominance hierarchy?
(11:13) How come if a covert NPD person tells in self talk to oneself that they want to behave nicely they will still display unsocial behavior?
(13:13) Is the clapping & banging of pots and pans for the NHS a form of social conditioning?
(15:25) How would you define a boundary? Are social media used as a tool to destroy our boundaries?
(22:22) Clapping for the mailman
(23:21) Should I wait til after lockdown to end the relationship with covert NPD?
(25:11) They are letting the inmates out of prisons and locking up normal citizens for not being good citizens? (difficult state of NHS and other systems)
(34:25) What do you think of the London Real/David Icke video ban?
(36:00) On YouTube censorship
(41:46) Have you seen how the definition of terrorism was changed in the last 10-20 years?
(44:51) I do worry this wisdom will only be useful in hindsight. I cannot understand how people cannot see the repeating patters in history (on fascism)
(49:08) This is more like communism
(52:43) What do you think the post C-19 world is going to be like?
(1:01:05) I've checked on Bill Gates talking about the depopulation thing on ted. It's totally misunderstood (on importance of debate & asking questions)
(1:07:20) Saying money is dirty, is that for getting all the money from people? (cashless society)
(1:08:52) If 5 geezles is a weapon, won't the 5 geezles hurt the cult that come up with it, as well?
(1:13:57) How does growing up in gang culture affect the child growing up in it?
(1:21:38) How to know if I am a narcissist?
(1:22:13) Goodbye
8/23/2020 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 31 seconds
How to Handle Smear Campaigns (Spartan Style)
There are a few things to remember when dealing with smear campaigns.
Actually, they may be an opportunity to strengthen our sovereignty.
Check out how to go Spartan Style on it.
8/22/2020 • 6 minutes, 41 seconds
Does psychology teach us to be pushovers?
Psychology today has one big problem.
Because of it, it is missing a very important aspect of humanness.
What has been lost and how we get it back?
Listen to this.
(00:27) Reading the Question
(01:52) The Freudian Reality Tunnel in Psychology
(07:39) How Psychology Has Failed Us & Importance of Humility
(20:02) Eastern vs. Western Medicine (Passive Reception of the Cure)
(22:20) What's the Model for "Normal"?
(27:08) Psychology as Neurosis (Example of Different Approach to Emotions)
(31:46) Basic Human Laws & Moral Philosophy
(35:26) Your Individual Moral Philosophy Gives You Boundaries
(37:41) Coming Back to the Question & Presenting Non-anemic Solution
(41:30) Confronting Abusers Directly
(44:28) Richard's Story About Handling a Problem With a Nightclub (Have God on Your Side First)
8/22/2020 • 50 minutes, 15 seconds
How to Get Comfortable Living Outside of Your Comfort Zone
It's a no-brainer that it's safe in the comfort zone.
And yes, we do need a degree of it to stay healthy.
But what if you could feel confident living outside of it?
Wouldn't the ability to handle any change in your life make you safe?
(00:35) What Scientists Discovered About Neuroplasticity and Dreams
(01:45) We Need Comfort, BUT Not Too Much
(03:52) You Need to Open to Change if You Want to Grow
(05:51) Summing Up
8/21/2020 • 6 minutes, 48 seconds
How to Psychotherapy (Empathic Psychotherapy)
There is one, special component that makes a good psychotherapist.
It's not an easy art.
True therapist is able to deal with raw, human vulnerability.
If you're looking for a therapist, or are therapist yourself, you'll love this episode!
(00:20) Yang Energy of a Coaching Session
(02:19) Psychotherapy Requires a Lot of Humanness & Compassion
(06:20) At Some Point of Therapy You Have to Go Yang
(08:36) How the Empathic Therapy Could Look Like
8/21/2020 • 12 minutes, 52 seconds
Getting into New Relationships Post Narcissistic Abuse (with Terry McCoy and Steve Heneghan)
A discussion with Terry McCoy and Steve Heneghan - The Spartan Life Coaches - regarding post-breakup hurt and getting into new relationships, including a lot of experience drawn from coaching sessions with the clients.
(00:00) Getting Started
(01:42) What is the Main Thing That Leads People to the Sense of Bewilderment When It Comes to Thinking About Finding Love in the Future After Narcissistic Abuse? Part 1
(05:04) What is the Main Thing That Leads People to the Sense of Bewilderment When It Comes to Thinking About Finding Love in the Future After Narcissistic Abuse? Part 2
(08:14) You Gotta Love Yourself First Before Somebody Loves You
(12:06) What Kills a Person's Ability to Move Forward and Get Into Another Loving Relationship After Narcissistic Abuse?
(18:18) Realizing That You Loved Somebody Who's Evil is Traumatic
(22:55) How Important is It to Explore the Issues of a Client Philosophically So They Can Construct Their Own Version of Reality? Part 1
(27:21) Joking About Problems With the Internet Connection
(29:31) How Important is It to Explore the Issues of a Client Philosophically So They Can Construct Their Own Version of Reality? Part 2
(32:08) Discussing the Language Used in Coaching and Therapy
(37:21) Talking About the Importance of "Stop the Emotional Flashbacks" and "Emotional Literacy" Courses
(40:57) Commitment to Exercises is the Key When It Comes to Moving Forward
(44:40) Unconscious Effects of Total Immersion Part 1
(49:10) Unconscious Effects of Total Immersion Part 2
(54:18) Intimacy, Vulnerability and Safety
(58:53) Talking About the Intensity of the Course Part 1
(1:03:36) Talking About the Intensity of the Course Part 2
(1:05:35) The Upcoming Course Info
(1:11:05) Goodbye
8/20/2020 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 29 seconds
Getting GROUNDED & Moving Forward (with Q&A)
You've probably heard about grounding.
Why is it important requirement for recovery?
What does it mean to be grounded?
If you're interested in this topic, you'll enjoy this live Q&A session.
(00:00) Hello
(00:09) What Inspired the Subject of Getting Grounded and Moving Forward?
(05:03) The Mind and the Body are One Thing, They're Not Separate
(09:06) Why Getting Grounded is Important
//Q&A Section//
(13:43) "Does drinking stop you from being grounded?"
(15:08) "What does it mean to be grounded?"
(20:26) Having a Grounded Practical Mindset
(21:21) "When you're under tremendous amount of stress how or what do you do to keep yourself grounded?"
(23:17) "How can you stay grounded if you crave dopamine all the time?"
(26:26) "Do you think the world would feel a bigger positive shift if we healed kids from trauma too? Maybe the entire family unit?"
(27:08) "Can you be healthy if the state is making you codependent by force aka monitoring? Part 1"
(31:50) "Can you be healthy if the state is making you codependent by force aka monitoring? Part 2"
(35:54) The Respect Shown for the Body, for the Daily Life is Important for Being Grounded and Moving Forward
(38:06) "How can we help our children to understand this?"
(42:40) "Is your coaching by instinct or do you follow a system?"
(43:35) Richard Responds to a Comment Asking if One's Most Liked Question Will Be Answered
(44:49) "How do I find balance between healthy boundary building and keeping the necessary vulnerability for building new relationships?"
(48:00) "What's the most important thing to remember for today?"
8/20/2020 • 49 minutes, 48 seconds
"Did I Mess Things Up With This Girl?"
How much honesty should you exert in a relationship?
50%? 100%? Always? Sometimes?
Check out WHY it is such an important question.
(00:50) Honesty All the Way, Values and Internal Boundaries
(02:41) Clearing the Air
(03:53) Issue With Pick-up "Tricks"
(06:05) Handling Rejection & Maintaining Boundaries
(08:19) Wrapping Up
8/19/2020 • 9 minutes, 5 seconds
Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts
When I looked up on the official psychological advice on what to do when people say they're suicidal, it was all pretty bland.
I though that I shouldn't just repeat stuff that's bland.
The advice I do have is a bit dark, but it's what worked for me over the years.
(00:31) Two Pieces of Advice
(03:28) Seeing the Rigidity of Suicidal Thinking
(05:34) The Roots of That Thinking That You're Not Responsible For
(07:52) Exhausting All the Options
8/19/2020 • 9 minutes, 50 seconds
Does marriage disadvantage some women?
We have this idea of marriage in our society.
It is so deeply ingrained, it's rarely questioned.
Is marriage always a good thing?
(02:18) I'm Provoking You to Think
(06:06) Maybe Marriage Might Not Be on the Path of Empath/Healer/Outsider
(08:08) We Need a Third Way
(10:25) MGTOW - Where Are You Going to Go?
(12:38) How Women Can Get Exploited and Addicted to Serving
(16:21) Honesty, Overcoming Taboos & Why It's Ok to Judge
(21:39) When Marriage is a Submission to Tribal Desires
(24:12) Wrapping Up
8/18/2020 • 25 minutes, 56 seconds
Infantile Defense” is Not “weak” - the Opposite is True
Therapy, as well as intimacy in general, can sometimes trigger infantile responses in people.
What is an infantile response? Why is it used as a defense strategy?
And why it is not "weak"?
(0:00) Hello
(1:30) The Word “infantile” in the Context of Psychology
(5:47) Why Talking Might Not Help at All
(9:02) The Denial as Infantile Defense
(13:25) When We Say Infantile, It Doesn’t Mean Weak
(16:57) Intimacy is the Trigger for Showing the Infantile Side
(20:25) Being Naïve is Protecting Yourself From Reality
(23:23) Answering Short Questions
(24:32) How Do You Deal With the Infantile Reactions? Part 1
(27:54) How Do You Deal With the Infantile Reactions? Part 2
(34:04) Goodbye
8/18/2020 • 34 minutes, 25 seconds
Forgiveness? Forget it. Do THIS instead!
Forgiveness is though, let's face it.
Everyone's saying how important it is in the healing process.
But maybe a person doesn't even deserve to be forgiven?
It's good that we have something else.
Something better.
Something fully dependent on ourselves, not requiring anyone else's apology or compensation to us.
(00:09) Meaning of the Word "Forgiveness" (Important)
(03:36) Under What Condition Would You Accept Someone's Apology?
(05:31) Forgiveness vs. Self Absolution
(06:41) Agency and Determination, Developing the Skills for Grieving
(13:32) Take Action if You Can, if You Can't or You Won't, Accept It and Move on
(16:41) You're Going to Absolve Yourself (Here's How)
(18:58) How to Show Up for Yourself
8/17/2020 • 23 minutes, 55 seconds
How can Eckhart Tolle help us to resolve trauma?
"Being in the now" has become more and more popular lately.
It's a bit tricky when it relates to trauma.
Have you come upon, or practiced mindfulness teachings?
This is what it boils down into.
(00:01) Would I Recommend Eckhart Tolle to Recovering People?
(02:46) Different States We See Reality From
(09:23) Our Culture Binding Us to Material World
(13:53) How Does Spaciousness Help to Heal?
(21:58) Reality is Not My Business
(30:28) Holding Onto Stuff
// Q&A Section //
(33:53) "To be responsible for 'reality' could eventually make you codependent?"
(36:17) "Does the more time of no contact help recovery?"
(37:41) "Refusing to participate in the codependent dance is hardest the first time, it get easier doesn't it?" (Richard about his codependency in business)
(41:56) "Could you tell us some more about archetypes, like the sad baby?"
(44:26) "Is codependency and messiah complex the negative side of egoism? What would be the positive aspect?"
(47:02) "How do I break off with my boyfriend who is not a good match because of unaddressed CPTSD issues?"
(53:46) "I heard you help others make money online, how can I get that kind of help from you, do you have a product?"
(55:57) "Is dissociation a coping strategy built into one of your archetypes?"
(59:31) "What do you feel on forgiveness?"
8/17/2020 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 50 seconds
Do Codependents Poison Relationships Just as Much as Narcissists? w/ Richard Grannon
Narcissist needs a stage to shine on.
He needs a fertile ground to do his thing.
That ground is created by codependent's toxic passivity.
A codependent has learned to take on others problems.
But in the same way he can learn that other people are OTHER PEOPLE, and their stuff is their stuff.
8/16/2020 • 6 minutes, 32 seconds
"Coping with Divorcing a Narcissist" - Interview with Divorce Coaching Specialist Sara Davison
Divorce can be a tough deal.
Divorce with a narcissist is like a double-tough deal.
This is where divorce specialist Sara Davison comes in.
(00:01) Getting Started
(00:46) Sara Talks About How She Ended Up Being a Divorce Coach
(06:47) “What Type of Advice Do You Typically Find Yourself Repeating Again and Again?”
(07:47) “Why Do You Find That People Are Often Ending Up in a Situation Where They Don’t Have a Support Group?”
(10:11) Discussing Why the Divorce Statistics is So Sad
(14:20) “When You’re Coaching People With Particularly Difficult Relationships, What Proportion of That is Because They Might Be Dealing With Someone Personality Disordered?”
(17:50) Sharing Personal and Financial Information When Going Through a Divorce
(20:13) Is It Common When People Refuse to Get a Lawyer for Divorce?
(22:22) The Wish to Make a Divorce Hard and Make Other People Suffer Sounds a Little Cluster B-ish
(24:36) Would Thoroughly Knowing What Marriage is Before Getting Married Help?
(27:08) Talking About Coaching People That Have Difficulties Accessing Children After a Divorce
(30:59) So the Court System Favors the Dysfunctional?
(35:21) “Why Do You Think So Many People Are Getting Divorced Now?”
(41:09) How Can One Get in Touch With Sara if They Need Her Help During Divorce
8/16/2020 • 43 minutes, 17 seconds
Healing CPTSD in less than 30 days?
Can you make your symptoms get better in less than 30 days?
Well, everyone's situation is different, but this is what I've done to achieve that.
**Find the course mentioned at: www.spartanlifecoach.com
8/15/2020 • 5 minutes, 44 seconds
How is Anorexia Increased by Social Media?
How is anorexia connected to social media usage?
Why does it enhance body dysmorphia in adolescents?
And most importantly - what can be done, and how you can help a person struggling with this?
(00:00) Getting Started
(01:15) Anorexia and Social Media – the Simplest Perspective
(03:26) What Does the Published Research Say? Part 1
(07:04) What Does the Published Research Say? Part 2
(11:15) Why is It This Way? Part 1
(14:06) Why is It This Way? Part 2
(17:43) The Super-ego Injunction to Perfectionism
(20:24) Pathway to Healing
(24:19) Richard Talks About His Instagram Experiment
(27:52) Wrapping Up
8/14/2020 • 28 minutes, 14 seconds
How we develop attachment trauma relationships with our PHONES
Why people can get EXTREMELY upset and angry when they got their instagram account shut down?
The answer is a very primal, psychological mechanism, that may also explain, why people are anxious without their phone.
8/14/2020 • 3 minutes, 29 seconds
Why is healing super ego important post narcissistic abuse
This is not an easy topic, but I did my best to make it digestible.
The super ego is a part of our psyche that has been with us for a long time.
It has played a tremendous role in our development.
Unfortunately, it can also hold us back.
This episode will make you better understand that phenomena.
** Find the course mentioned at: www.spartanlifecoach.com
(00:01) Super Ego - Inner Critic, and Their Injunctions
(04:04) How the Super Ego Supposed to Be ("The Other People Part")
(11:42) When Things Go Wrong - Toxified Trauma-based Super Ego Becomes What We Call "The Inner Critic"
(17:55) Narcissists Trigger Negative Super Ego Injunctions
(19:33) Why NPD Can Toxify Our Super Ego (More Intimacy = More Impact)
(28:06) Summing Up
8/14/2020 • 29 minutes, 58 seconds
Heartbreak, childhood trauma and developing the skill of moving on (Q&A)
How to become an adult, attention addiction, inner child and more, covered in this Q&A session.
(00:00) Getting Started
(00:29) Richard Summing Up and Revising His Work So Far, Part 1
(05:37) Richard Summing Up and Revising His Work So Far, Part 2
//Q&A Section//
(11:14) "What have you noticed over the years about any correlations between intelligence, trauma, the self-actualization process, CPTSD recovery, etc?"
(13:42) "For people with childhood trauma, is it more an issue of learning how to grow up and becoming an adult?"
(15:07) "How do you feel about adult children of alcoholic meetings?"
(15:24) "How can you tell the difference when you're in a healthy state vs. using avoidance techniques?"
(16:54) "Is heartbroken the same as being addicted to the attention a narcissist gives you? Because it seemed more like withdrawals."
(20:29) "Is emotional literacy exercises another way to connect to the inner child?"
(21:38) "What's up with anyone who consciously chooses to 'never grow up'?"
(22:24) "Does an apparent hurt inner child need to be integrated or let go of?"
(24:31) "How come you've become so wise?"
(26:07) "Does marriage go against our primal instincts?"
(28:14) "Being oversensitive vs. being emotionally abused?"
(28:57) "Any advice on protecting your mental health when working with BPD clients?"
(29:36) "If you're able to really love somebody, you don't live only with your primal instincts"
(30:34) "You're so patient with people. How do you re-charge so you don't get cranky?"
(32:29) "How to get NPD girlfriend out of my house without letting her tears stopping me?"
(36:02) "Why are we hypernormalizing emotionless sex and how to survive in this world of that kind of dating?"
(40:08) You're Not Qualified to Live in a Narcissistic Way
8/14/2020 • 44 minutes, 52 seconds
How to Rescue Ourselves From Political Extremism Using the Socratic Method (Deckchairs at Dawn)
There is not much of Socratic method in political debates.
So much that it's hard to really call it a debate.
When you actually see that, it can be a strong motivation to learn the Socratic method yourself.
You want to be wise, calm and collected like a sage, not all over the place like another politician.
(00:00) Getting Started
(02:45) How People Argue Over Politics
(06:14) The Socratic Method of Debating and How What’s Happening Now is the Opposite Part 1
(10:01) The Socratic Method of Debating and How What’s Happening Now is the Opposite Part 2
(12:42) Our Political Narrative is Unconsciously Moving Towards and Gearing Up to War
(13:45) Some Cluster B Disordered People Don’t Care What Political Side They’re on as Long as They Have a Voice
(17:53) We Need to Remember That the Representation of the Opposite Political Side is Not Real
(21:35) It All Starts With You So Slow Down and Learn How to Debate
8/13/2020 • 24 minutes, 20 seconds
Advice on Drugs and Addiction
There's a way in which addiction is seen, that is outdated.
Simply - it all comes down to changing one's feelings.
Understanding that is key to "healing" the addiction.
These perspectives will make you 10X more confident in your ability to get over the addiction.
(00:39) Addiction as a Desire to Alter the State
(01:31) Cold Compassion and Systems Thinking
(02:24) What is Lost? What the Drug is Giving? (Emotion, Need, Etc)
(05:24) Humans Are Addictive Creatures by Nature, Taking Away the Judgment
(07:13) Addiction, Pain & Isolation
(09:12) Endogenous vs. Exogenous Drugs
(11:29) Addiction vs. Conditioning (Important Difference)
8/13/2020 • 13 minutes, 5 seconds
Cure CPTSD Minicourse Part 3 "Repattern The Inner Parent"
Now, this is the bread and butter of HEALING.
You want to start thinking and feeling in new ways, right?
This last, third part of the minicourse will teach you how to make that happen.
(00:00) A Little Reminder of What’s Been Said in the Previous Sections Part 1
(02:57) A Little Reminder of What’s Been Said in the Previous Sections Part 2
(08:04) How Do We Convert the “Bad Parent”?
(11:34) You Actually Have to Have the Will to Fight
(15:24) The Unconscious Side of the Work
(18:24) How Do We Lay Down New Neural Pathways?
(21:28) A Brief Explanation of What the New Messages and the New Ideas Are
(25:33) Flooding Yourself With Loving Messages Part 1
(28:08) Flooding Yourself With Loving Messages Part 2
(29:04) The Beginning of the Next Section
(30:21) The Good Feelings
(35:10) How to Thicken the Effect
(39:31) The Good Phrases That You’d Love to Hear Every Day
(42:48) Your Emotions Count
(47:59) Talking About the Second Audio Hypnosis
(53:07) Wrapping Up
8/13/2020 • 55 minutes, 47 seconds
Cure CPTSD Minicourse Part 2 "Heal The Super Ego"
Part 2 focuses more deeply onto practical solutions for dealing with the core issue behind our unpleasant state.
(00:00) Talking About the End Goal
(04:44) Certain Key Skillsets That Need to Be Strengthened Part 1
(08:45) Certain Key Skillsets That Need to Be Strengthened Part 2
(11:19) Critical Thinking and Boundaries
(15:16) Emotional Dysregulation Causes Psychosis
(19:43) Emotional Flashback Management Skill
(21:40) Goodbye
8/13/2020 • 21 minutes, 47 seconds
Cure CPTSD Minicourse Part 1 "A new model for healing CPTSD symptoms"
In this unit we're going to explore the reasons behind our low self-esteem, anxiety and depression problems, and take a dive into the revolutionary Complex PTSD model.
(00:00) Introduction
(03:02) What is CPTSD? Part 1
(06:56) What is CPTSD? Part 2
(10:45) How the Love-hate Attention of a Parent Influences the Child
(15:50) What Are the “Recordings” and Where They Come From
(19:24) What Might Happen if a Person With CPTSD Goes Into Therapy
(24:33) How to Stop These “Recordings”?
8/13/2020 • 29 minutes, 16 seconds
Authenticity - Relationship Advice for Codependents
Authenticity is more and more rare in our society.
Yet it is crucial if we want natural, human to human connection.
Why is it so hard for codependents to be authentic?
What you can do to deal with your codependency?
It's a priceless thing, so if it's important to you as well, check out this episode.
** Stay tuned for the new, upcoming course mentioned by following Richard (links in the podcast description) or by using the mail newsletter at www.spartanlifecoach.com
(00:01) Origin of the Term "Codependency"
(02:26) Authenticity in the Context of How Codependency Operate
(08:02) Manifestations of Trauma, Codependent's Fawning
(13:34) How Do We Stay Authentic in Our World?
(16:54) Richard's False Self in Social Media & "Codependent Anonymous"
(23:19) Practicing Our Authenticity and Watching Our Addiction
(25:31) We're Learning to Transact Love Since Our Childhood
(30:53) Setting Hard Boundaries (Does It Feel Safe to Love Them?)
//Q&A Section//
(36:04) "Why do you feel you can't you be your authentic self online?"
(37:38) "What to say to a friend in a bad relationship that is hurting her, but she won't let go?"
(38:17) "Hello Clarice! Do you still hear the lambs cry?" (on 'Silence of the Lambs' character)
(40:11) "Why did my NPD go into an apoplectic rage when I set boundaries?"
(41:45) "Will you explain codependent and our manipulation tendencies?"
(43:18) "How do we deal with our narcissistic parents?"
(44:40) "As you heal from codependency and fawn response, how does your idea of an ideal relationship change?"
(52:37) "Do you think ID is the false self?"
(52:54) "Isn't it more 'natural' to be a narcissist or a psychopath since humans have a need to survive at all costs, and we can only do that by achieving power in society?"
(56:46) "Can you give advice and first steps to healing and finding our true self?"
8/12/2020 • 59 minutes, 2 seconds
Integrating a healthy superego
At some point of our recovery, we have to integrate a healthy superego into our psyche.
You want the opposite of internal criticism.
You want an inner support and encouragement.
An inner, responsible and protective adult, who ALWAYS has your best interest at his side.
Discover more about that by listening to this episode.
** Stay tuned for the new, upcoming course mentioned by following Richard (links in the podcast description) or by using the mail newsletter at www.spartanlifecoach.com
(00:01) What is Having a Healthy Superego About?
(05:24) Re-parenting From Childhood
(09:11) Internalized Self-image of Being Worthless
(13:07) Learned Self-abandonment & Dissociation
(15:28) Toxic Superego Inducing Flashbacks
(18:17) Victim Identity & It's Narcissism
(22:09) Rewriting the Ideologically Infected Narrative
//Q&A Section//
(33:37) "How do you control chronic daydreaming, dissociation?"
(34:08) "How do you create more loving and present patterns into the subconscious, not fall into the old patters?"
(35:17) "Will the course give one a healthy self-worth, not wanting to be invisible?"
(39:41) "The objective truth is what's so traumatizing?"
(40:33) "Do you believe that almost 50% of the world population are narcissists?"
(46:52) "So superego is one who speaks in mind?"
(47:42) "Do you think that overthinking can destroy the mind?"
(48:48) "How supportive are spiritual practices in this maturation process? Or are they antiquated practices that do not belong to modern man, only lead to spiritual bypassing?"
8/12/2020 • 55 minutes, 54 seconds
12 Steps to Dealing with Narcissists (Emotional Self Protection and Boundary Setting)
When it comes to handling the narcissists, these 12 rules are absolute necessity.
Make sure you got everything in check!
(00:20) #1 Admit and Identify
(00:27) #2 Test: How Does It Make Me Feel?
(00:43) #4 Clarify the Boundary Between You and Them
(01:04) #5 Clarify the Boundary That is Not Acceptable
(01:12) #6 Be Aware of the Agenda
(01:22) #7 Physically Escape
(01:38) #8 Detach and Observe
(01:51) #9 Accept Defeat
(02:01) #10 Manage Your State
(02:16) #11 They Need Your Pain
(02:26) #12 Don't Discuss Personal Matters
8/12/2020 • 2 minutes, 53 seconds
Codependent as mirror image of narcissist
You can’t flip out of NPD obviously but when you have two narcissists together it seems to me they take turns to be “prey” (vulnerable) and “predator” (grandiose).
In this video I’m talking about classic echo/enabler/fawn people pleasers rather than vulnerable narcissists.
However, at this point I’m wondering how thin the veil between the two may be.
I include myself in this assessment by the way.
It’s just a hypothesis, for your consideration.
8/11/2020 • 13 minutes, 19 seconds
Narcissists Don't Have an Ego
Have you felt unseen and disrespected by a narcissist?
The ego helps us to make distinctions and boundaries in the world.
That is partly why narcissists are so abusive and dismissive.
If you want to want more, listen in! The episode include references to Sam Vaknin's work.
(00:00) Hello
(01:18) Narcissists Are Ego-less
(06:10) What is Ego According To Eastern Philosophy
(09:49) The Narcissist is Never Really Interacting With the Outside World Part 1
(15:17) The Narcissist is Never Really Interacting With the Outside World Part 2
(20:28) Projective Identification
(24:39) "Why Am I Terrified Of Male Figures That I Admire?"
(26:02) Talking About the Covert Narcissists
8/11/2020 • 30 minutes, 38 seconds
BPD & the Psychotic Component - Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon
What are psychotic disorders, how do they form and how to heal them, about love, marriage, sex and more. Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon discussion.
(00:00) History of the Term Psychosis
(06:27) Difference Between Internal and External
(08:45) Psychotic Disorders and Their Relationship With External World
(11:35) Narcissists and Their Relationship With External World
(12:46) Borderlines and Their Relationship With External World
(14:37) Psychopaths and Their Relationship With External World
(16:40) Is It Possible for People With CPTSD to Develop Psychotic Disorder as a Response to Trauma?
(20:11) Formation of Narcissism in a Child and What Happens Next
(21:25) Borderline Response to Trauma
(25:40) The Reason Why Most Borderlines End Up With Narcissists, Abusers and Psychopaths
(31:03) Key Principle to Healing Borderline
(32:50) Why Peace in a Home Makes Borderline Worse?
(34:40) Personal Disorders and Their Reaction to Love
(39:18) Erotomaniac Stalking is a Form of Narcissism
(41:30) Personal Disorders’ Issues of Intimacy
(45:10) When Marriage in Long-term Relationship Work, is That Because the Bridge Between Internal and External is Strong?
(50:50) Love is a Synthesis Chemical Reaction
(52:50) How to Keep Marriage Strong
(57:25) What’s the Point in Marriage Taking in Account Today’s Morality?
(1:00:00) Difference Between Sexual Exclusivity, Monogamy and Marriage
(1:03:34) What is Monogamy Historically and What It is Now
(1:06:27) What is Marriage Historically and What It is Now
(1:10:32) Giving a 100% is Setting Your Partner for Failure
(1:15:49) Confusing Altruism With Giving a 100%
8/10/2020 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 54 seconds
Bulimia and Mindfulness
Eating disorders are often the case with the victims of emotional abuse.
They can have BAD implications and you don't want to allow it to happen.
How can you better treat this problem?
Listen to some new, and hopefully useful approaches here!
(00:01) Introduction
(02:19) You Can Only Cure an Individual Case
(03:39) What is Bulimia and HOW People Do It? (Examples)
(08:22) Self-harm Connection
(11:35) What Can We Do About That?
(14:08) How Mindfulness Can Help, Part 1
(15:54) Quick Note on Complex PTSD
(20:47) How Mindfulness Can Help, Part 2
(24:52) Compassion
(27:33) Change the Metaphor & Acknowledge the Program That's There
8/10/2020 • 32 minutes, 10 seconds
Can healing and therapy cause you to lose motivation?
Why I don't feel like doing the things I used to do anymore?
I thought I was getting better?
Listen to this episode if you want to know what is, and why it might have been a "functional insanity".
8/9/2020 • 6 minutes, 59 seconds
Chat with Melany Oliver - Spiritual Things -
How do we overcome the blocks to healing, and what does healing actually mean, where does spirituality fits with psychology, narcissism in cultural context, and more - in this conversation with Melany Oliver.
(00:01) Introducing Richard Grannon Part 1
(03:17) Introducing Richard Grannon Part 2
(06:08) Thoughts on the Increased Number of Channels Focusing on Narcissism
(10:51) How Can You Tell Who’s Legit and Who’s Not Among “Healers”? Part 1
(15:03) How Can You Tell Who’s Legit and Who’s Not Among “Healers”? Part 2
(18:49) “What Was Your Awakening Moment to Realize That Actually I Am Codependent?”
(21:29) “How Do You Deal With the Clients Who Are on Denial?” Part 1
(26:06) “How Do You Deal With the Clients Who Are on Denial?” Part 2
(29:13) “Can You Give Us Some Clear Signs That You’re Dealing With a Narcissist?”
(33:46) “Are There Different Levels of Narcissism?”
(38:01) “Do You Think That Narcissism is Cultural/Generational?”
(41:44) “What Does Healing Mean to You?”
(42:38) Thoughts on Emotional Processing
(47:19) “Can CPTSD Be Healed?”
(52:46) “What Blocks People From Healing From the Narcissistic Abuse?” Part 1
(56:57) “What Blocks People From Healing From the Narcissistic Abuse?” Part 2
(58:53) “How Would You Define an Emotional Boundary for Someone Who Doesn’t Know?”
(1:01:53) “Do You Think That Narcs Are Capable of Love at All?”
(1:04:08) “What Do You Do if the Narcissistic Abuse Comes From Parents?”
(1:06:56) “Can You Coexist?”
(1:09:01) “Psychology and Spirituality, Do They Go Together or Against Each Other?”
(1:14:12) The Will to Heal
(1:14:41) “Do You Think Those People That Have Been Abused Need to Heal Before They Can Have That Will to Thrive?”
(1:15:48) “What is Your Heart Message to the World and for Those People Who Are Suffering From the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse?”
(1:17:18) Wrapping Up
8/9/2020 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 43 seconds
5 Things You Can Do To Deal With CPTSD Now!
Do you find yourself struggling with CPTSD?
Does it feel like it's taking your life away from you?
Check out these things that will help you to get better!
// Sign-up for the mentioned free course here: https://forms.aweber.com/form/27/353806527.htm
(00:27) Short Review of CPTSD
(04:09) Reclaim Sovereignty Over Your State (State Management)
(12:19) Managing the Flashbacks
(14:55) Work on Emotional Literacy (Processing Emotions)
(16:48) On the Fortress Mental Health Protection System Course
(20:41) Is the Course Available on the Computer of Phone?
(21:24) Do I Do the Flashback and Literacy Course Together?
(22:26) Is It Common for Folks to Try to Take on Too Much Change Too Soon When Embarking on Something Like This?
8/8/2020 • 27 minutes, 13 seconds
1 Month Off Social Media Experiment (Unexpected Results)
Are you spending too much time on social media?
How would it be like to take a break?
What if you could REFRESH your use of social media?
Experiments always gives us new perspectives and ideas.
Listen in to find out what Richard discovered doing his 1 month off social media.
(00:00) Richard Talks About What the Experiment Included
(00:57) Richard Talks About His Own Experience
(06:18) Talking About Missing Filling the Gaps With Scrolling
(11:44) The Major Positives of Being Off Social Medias
(15:56) How Coming Back Online Felt Like
(19:57) Richard Talks About Coming Back Online and What He's Noticed
(25:51) Relative Social Positioning
(29:50) Goodbye
8/8/2020 • 30 minutes, 23 seconds
Being Spartan - opposing the mainstream ideals of mental health (with Q&A)
Let's face it - mainstream psychology get mixed results.
It has a lot not-quite-effective methods and ideas.
This is one of the reason for creating the Spartan Life Coach project.
If you want to know more, check out this episode.
(00:00) Starting the Topic
(01:17) Insufficient Modern Western Model of Mental Health
(07:23) On Refusal of Genetic Determinism
(13:08) Primitive Methods, Drugs
(18:03) The Meaning Behind the Word Spartan
(21:01) Being Active Creator Instead of Passive Consumer
(25:29) CBT vs. NLP (Why is CBT So Popular and Researched?)
Q&A Section
(30:31) "So they're not treating the whole person, just the issue?" (Richard's story about anxiety from the times of being a doorman)
(38:20) Healing the whole context
(41:01) "Anxiety when approaching women, trauma from criticizing mother"
(47:48) "Is there a way to test if the potential partner will be PTSD supportive ally?"
(54:26) "Not feeling comfortable around women"
(1:02:27) "Therapists not encouraging to change larger context affective life, why we don't talk about it?"
(1:06:00) "Which part of my recovery should I focus on first?" (being emotional flashbacks ninja)
(1:07:57) "I don't think it's a good idea to submit to authority"
(1:09:59) "Could the body numbness be due to suppressed feelings?"
(1:11:36) On authority submission again
(1:16:00) "Can you help me with setting boundaries? I am not sure where to start."
8/7/2020 • 1 hour, 19 minutes, 46 seconds
Creating lasting change in the brain is essential to healing CPTSD
This is an short excerpt from a seminar about overcoming CPTSD and recovering from narcissistic abuse with a few, quick and strong ideas.
8/7/2020 • 4 minutes, 52 seconds
Anima/Animus Posession
Anima and Animus are Jungian concepts describing an archetype in each one of us.
They represent the feminine/masculine part of psyche.
What happens when it gets out of control?
(00:01) What Does It Mean to Be Anima/Animus Possessed?
(01:33) Polarity, Integration and Balance of Yin and Yang
(03:10) Our Divided House of Our Today's World
(05:40) Anti-human Agenda and Suffering of BOTH Genders
8/6/2020 • 9 minutes, 45 seconds
Richard Bandler vs Eckhart Tolle (passivity vs activity)
Should you let go and allow the reality, or go out there and make it change?
Eckhart Tolle has become popular with his teachings on pure awareness and letting things be as they are.
But is that going to dissolve our problems?
What would NLP master Richard Bandler say? Can we find a middle ground here?
If you're interested in meditation AND moving forward and getting better, that's the episode for you.
(00:00) Reading the Question
(01:43) Don't Misinterpret Eckhart and "Being Passive"
(04:59) Marketing the Systems Using Metaprograms (Sell by Difference)
(08:00) Acceptance in Everything, Yin and Yang Integrated Approach
(14:13) Integrating Both Approaches & Creating Individual, Unique System
(16:44) You Must Enter the Person's Reality as It is
(20:15) You're the Expert on You, Choose Your Way and Methods
8/6/2020 • 24 minutes, 4 seconds
2 tips 2 heal
There are two key tips I always give people who want to accelerate their healing.
If you don't want to be stuck with your mental health problems, here's something to think about.
(00:18) #1 The Big "No" (Denials and Taboos)
(03:20) #2 Stop Being So Rough With Yourself
(07:05) Being Human and De-Dramatizing Your Problems
8/5/2020 • 8 minutes, 8 seconds
A Narcissist's Love Letter
This is something very interesting shared by a client - a letter from narcissist.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/john-w-howell/2013/05/a-narcissists-love-letter/
8/5/2020 • 2 minutes, 51 seconds
Why You Are STUCK in the Narcissistic Relationship?
There is something BIG holding the relationship in place.
Maybe the narcissist didn't came by accident and needs your help?
Some say it's a moral obligation to be the narcissist's partner.
What is it that needs to be done here?
If you want to know the answer, listen to this episode now.
(00:20) Physical (Visible) vs. Emotional (Invisible) Abuse
(02:01) Morality Structure Holding a Relationship, Fake Morality is Just a Justification
(05:54) Abusive Types Rely on Your Desire to People Please
(07:39) This is Not Bound to Romantic Relationships Only, Weak Boundaries
(08:57) Pleasing is an Addiction Fueled by Imprinted Toxic Guilt
(10:18) It's Not Always an Abuse, Sometimes It's Just Me
(11:58) How Neurotypical Person Sees the Narcissist?
(13:28) It All Comes Back to Managing Flashbacks
8/4/2020 • 18 minutes, 51 seconds
The Blind Maze and the Double Bind of the Narcissistically Abusive System
This is why victims of narcissistic abuse go crazy and lose their sense of reality.
The good thing is, it's induced - and whatever's induced, is temporary and can be resolved.
If you want to break free from the maze the narcissist put you in, listen to this episode.
(00:01) The Blind Maze Game
(03:14) Territory and It's False Map
(04:33) Gregory's Batson Double Bind Theory
(05:44) Learn to See the Truth of Reality as It is
(08:39) What is Keeping You in the Blind Maze?
8/4/2020 • 10 minutes, 57 seconds
How to Tell Histrionic Personality Disorder?
What is Histrionic Personality Disorder?
Is it distinct to NPD?
If you were ever curious how to tell is someone has a histrionic personality disorder, listen to this episode.
(00:31) Behavioral Traits of Histrionic Personality Disorder
(02:49) Shallowness of Opinions
(03:38) Being Center of Attention
(04:25) Sexualization of Conversation
(05:36) Shifting of Emotions
(08:56) High Anxiety and Panickiness
8/3/2020 • 13 minutes, 24 seconds
What is the Difference Between Arrogance and Actual Narcissism? Simple Answer (3 keys)
How do you know if arrogant person is a narcissist?
(00:31) Narcissistic Arrogance is Not Normal Arrogance
(01:49) Is It Permanent, Pervasive and Personal?
(05:06) Sticking to Nuance and Literature
8/3/2020 • 6 minutes, 58 seconds
Why Do Women Get Back With Abusive Men? (Trauma Bonding)
This is a problem that is often not very well understood. (Even by psychologists).
Unfortunately our brain works in a way that allows TRAUMA to create a strong, emotional bonds that can work against us.
Understanding it better can make you stronger and more resistant to coming back to abuser.
You DON'T have to be a slave to your brain.
(00:35) On Trauma Bonding (Plus Example)
(02:22) Trauma Bonding in PsyOps and Mind Control?
(03:56) Abuser Seen as Rescuer & 1984 Reference
(05:46) Trauma Bonding is Relevant to All Gender
(07:17) Why Woman Get Back to Abusive Men?
8/2/2020 • 10 minutes, 38 seconds
How to Stop Being a Slave ("Fake Morality" and Nietzsche)
Is humility good? How is that connected to people struggling to make money?
Nietzsche has some interesting insights into how we act in relationships.
Codependents have a tendency to dignify their position, and that may be a trap you want to avoid.
Learn the concept of "Slave Morality" and see through devastating results it has.
(00:00) Hello
(01:11) Richard's Idea of the "Fake Morality" Part 1
(07:03) Richard's Idea of the "Fake Morality" Part 2
(08:12) What is "Slave Morality" According to Nietzsche?
(13:07) Master and Slave Morality Applied to Narcissism and Codependency
(18:09) People Beliefs Need to Be Challenged Part 1
(23:23) People Beliefs Need to Be Challenged Part 2
(25:00) Goodbye
8/2/2020 • 25 minutes, 13 seconds
How to repattern the inner parent, heal the superego virus
Until we deal with our toxic superego, our healing process will not move further.
How to repattern this inner part of ours? How to be a good, loving parent to yourself?
This, and more in this recording from the exciting UCLA Seminar.
(00:09) Why Does a Narcissist Want to Destroy You?
(02:50) There's No Fixing and It's a Hard Thing to Accept
(04:42) Talking About Malignant Optimism
(06:55) How Do You Fix a Malignant Inner Parent?
(12:00) Answering Questions
(17:00) Talking About the Gender Issue
(20:01) Spirituality Questions
(22:56) You Need to Know That It's Going to Hurt, Pain is a Part of Our Lives
(25:48) Talking About Toxic Friends
(30:00) Repatterning the Inner Parent
(35:20) We Need to Love Ourselves the Way We Would Another Person
(39:55) Richard Talks About the Usage of Hypnosis
(41:45) Talking About Affirmations to Overcome Fear
(45:34) Narcissists Have Massive Abandonment Anxiety
8/1/2020 • 47 minutes, 40 seconds
The Narcissistic Personality as Split/Multiple Personality - Notes - Sam Vaknin Liverpool Seminar
The narcissist will play any role just to get his supply.
That is why it can be tricky to interact with them.
We're going to dive deeper into that in this episode.
(00:01) Hello
(01:10) Dissociative Personality Disorder vs. Personality Splits
(06:05) What Dissociative Disorder Has to Do With Narcissism?
(09:55) Our Concept of Addiction is Fundamentally Flawed
(11:43) Narcissists Are Addicted to Narcissistic Supply
(12:48) Why Does a Person With NPD Show Up as Different People at Different Times?
(17:09) False Selves of a Narcissist
(19:54) The NPD Has a Ferociously Harsh Inner Critic When the NPD Fails to Get Narcissistic Supply
(24:35) You Have to Look What State the NPD Person is in When You're Talking to Them
(28:11) The Key Principle is Narcissistic Supply, Without It None of the NPD Person's Behavior Will Make Sense
(31:56) NPD's Can Show Up With Different Personality Types in Different Environments Running Different Agendas
(33:42) Wrapping Up
8/1/2020 • 37 minutes, 53 seconds
What Happens With Unprocessed Emotions
Emotions are energy and they need an outlet.
Where do they go when we don't have a way of directing them?
(00:02) Technology and Social Media Are Created to Distract Us
(03:40) The Virtual Reality is Powerful but Not Particularly Uplifting
(09:35) There's a Lack of Boundaries Between Public and Private
(12:45) The Issue of Fake News
(15:04) How Emotional Literacy Can Help
(20:18) Accept, Permit and Acknowledge Your Emotions
7/31/2020 • 22 minutes, 56 seconds
Psychological Barriers to Success/Creative Expression - (Getting Out of Trauma, Depression, CPTSD)
What is holding us back? Why can't we freely express our creativity?
HOW to break these barriers?
(00:04) Getting Started
(01:12) Stating the Topic
(02:37) Story About Karate Teacher as an Example of Disillusionment, Heartbrake and Trauma Conditioning
(09:10) Dave Chappelle Example
(12:32) Unconscious Blocks & Depression
(17:28) Keeping Yourself Safe
(20:32) On Parts Therapy
7/31/2020 • 24 minutes, 26 seconds
Robin Williams was a victim of unresolved CPTSD
Robin Williams, just like others, wasn't free of Adverse Childhood Environment.
(00:00) Getting Started
(02:14) Some Comedians Are Miserable
(06:28) Analyzing the Facts From Robin Williams's Life Pointing to the Roots of CPTSD
(11:04) Further Analysis
(15:43) Summing Up
7/31/2020 • 19 minutes, 1 second
How to Stop Perfectionism, Procrastinating and Get Shit Done!
You cannot REALLY overcome procrastination.
That's because it's not what they say it is.
The issue might be somewhere else, because our unconscious have a greater impact on our behavior.
If you ever wondered why you're perfectionistic or how to finally start getting shit done, you might find some explanations here.
(00:41) The Roots of Perfectionism
(03:02) The Brain is Hard-wired for Parental Validation
(04:58) Attachment Styles
(07:55) Procrastination as Unconscious Blocks
(11:08) Procrastination is Not Laziness & Natural Tendencies to Be Lazy
(13:22) Overcoming Perfectionism & Perfectionism Inducing Culture
(17:42) Just Doing First, Then Correcting (Business Advice #1)
(21:17) See the Human (Business Advice #2)
(23:21) Forget Perfect, There is No Such Thing
7/30/2020 • 27 minutes, 37 seconds
Say 'NO' Now! (There Wont Be Time Later)
What happens when you hesitate to demand what you want?
If narcissists are so ruthless, so you should be.
It's important that you set you boundaries immediately without a second-thought, and in this episode I'll show you why.
(00:05) Don't Pity People (It's Not Compassion)
(03:10) Saying No and Demanding What You Want
(04:15) The Symbolic Violence & Threat
(07:10) The Longer You Leave It the Worse It is
(10:24) If You're Thinking of Saying No, Say No Early
(13:00) Narcissistic Psychopaths Push and Boundary Test
(13:50) It's the Same at Micro-level as at Macro-level
7/30/2020 • 17 minutes, 23 seconds
Secondary and Tertiary Gaslighting
You might have heard that you can be gaslighted by the narcissist, but... unfortunately it may not end there.
7/30/2020 • 4 minutes, 25 seconds
THE ONLINE NARCISSISM SUB CULTURE - Interview with Sam Vaknin
Narcissistic abuse victims forums are a big thing right now.
Is the narcissism discussed there a good representation of what it actually is?
What if they have fallen a victim to overall, cultural trend to mythologize narcissism?
These are good questions worth knowing the answer to - if you're curious, listen to this interview with narcissism expert - Sam Vaknin.
(00:25) Provoking People to Confront Reality & Sadism of That
(06:01) Narcissism and Good vs. Evil Split as a Model for Seeing the World
(11:53) Did Sam Put Himself in a Position of Scapegoat for Narcissism?
(16:07) Sam Announcing His Diagnosis, Being "Narcissist by Proxy"
(17:43) Overt vs. Covert Narcissist, Inferiority Complex, True vs. False Self
(24:13) Narcissism Underlies All Our Mental Health Mechanisms
(26:33) The Words "Empathy" and "Narcissism" Has Been Overused
(30:56) Victims Echo Chamber
(32:40) Narcissists Actually Do Have (A Type of) Empathy
(36:35) No Interest in Research, but Treating Narcissism as Pornography
(39:47) Elastic Defenses & External Locus of Control
(42:14) Calling Yourself a "Magnet" and Absolving Responsibility
(44:44) We Keep Repeating Our Unresolved Conflicts
(46:06) Victimhood is Very Rewarding
(49:16) Narcissist is a Modern Substitute for an Antichrist
(51:00) Popularization of a Term "Narcissism" & It's Strong Explanatory Power
(53:45) Narcissism Has Become Adulterated, Cultural Phenomena
(57:18) Goodbye
7/29/2020 • 57 minutes, 55 seconds
The "Oprah Reality Tunnel" (Idealised Self and ego-wanking "Beautiful Soul")
Reality is the way it is, and the "Beautiful Soul" is failing to see it.
(00:05) Playing the Beautiful Soul a.k.a. Oprah Winfrey Reality Tunnel
(03:13) The Problems That Idealisation Creates
(06:27) Myth of "The Right Person"
(08:06) You're on Your Own
(09:55) The Medium is the Message & Reality Templates
(12:00) In Our Culture We're Reducing Others to Resource
(13:08) The Double Bind of Marriage
(15:52) Summary
7/29/2020 • 17 minutes, 23 seconds
Why Can't I Succeed? Internal Blocks to Success Installed by Emotionally Abusive Family Unit
Is it difficult to get traction in your life?
You always seem to self-sabotage right before achieving your goal?
That can be emotionally and soul-wrecking problem. One can feel stuck in a loop without hope to get out of it.
Maybe the solution is where we haven't searched before.
I will help you to deal with the internal blocks holding you back. Let's get into it!
(01:02) Corrosion of Will to Move Forward
(02:17) Borderline Mother & and Pros of Feminism
(08:03) Mother Entangled With Her Child, Punishing for Individuation
(13:59) There's a Woman in Every Man, and a Man in Every Woman (Yin Yang)
(16:16) Disordered Parents Emotional Abuse and Manipulation
(21:11) Why Can't I Assert Myself?
(25:05) Teenagers Setting Their Boundaries and Individuating (Parental Advice)
(27:17) Reducing Emotional Flashbacks to Move Forward
(29:32) How to Use Mental Clarity & Humor
(32:57) About Split Personality
(39:07) Relating to Parts of the Question
(40:27) On Meditation as Grounding
(41:43) Masculinity Models
(43:27) "I Can Learn That Being Successful is OK"
(44:34) Self-compassion
(46:44) Parents Are a Model for Self-love
7/28/2020 • 48 minutes, 17 seconds
Shamans, Black Sheep, Seers, Outliers, Weirdos, Outcasts, Sensitives, Psychics and Healers
Where do they all come from?
What do they all have in common?
(00:05) How the Topic Came About
(02:11) Being a Narcissist vs. Narcissistic & The Need for Parental Attention
(08:13) Pain Inspires Insight (Black Sheep Being Seers)
(11:07) On the Word "psychic"
7/27/2020 • 12 minutes, 31 seconds
How to Process Emotions?
Without proper access to your emotions you're kind of blind.
You can't discern the situations properly, you over-react or under-react.
You live your life as a roller coaster, seeking for highs and living in constant instability.
You can regulate yourself by accessing the emotions. I will show you how to process them - it's a simple technique that I couldn't live without.
Do it, and you will feel the results relatively quickly.
>> References mentioned:
"The Tao of Fully Feeling" - Pete Walker
"On Joy and Sorrow" - Kahlil Gibran
(00:36) CPTSD and the Baseline of Emotion
(04:45) Consequences of Learning to Stay Calm Through CPTSD
(09:53) How a Little Girl That’s Being Raised in an Abusive Environment Learns to Shut Down Her Emotions and How She Looks Like When She’s 44
(14:03) The Way You Love Yourself is the Way Your Parents Loved You
(19:04) Having Troubles Accessing Your Emotions and the Dangers of That
(25:37) Things You Have to Do
(30:45) A Useful Technique to Help You Deal With and Process Emotions Part 1
(36:01) A Useful Technique to Help You Deal With and Process Emotions Part 2
(39:16) A Lie That Having No Money is Okay
(43:51) A Lie That Being Completely Overweight is Okay
(48:30) An Invitation to Join in and Get Fit Together
(53:37) Start Working on Your New Year’s Resolutions in Advance
(57:16) Responding to Comments Part 1
(01:00:17) Responding to Comments Part 2
7/26/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 48 seconds
Guilt in victims of narcissistic abuse?
Is it common for victims of narcissistic abuse to feel guilty?
It seems irrational - why it would be the case?
(00:03) Starting the Topic & The 3 Main Reasons
(01:10) What is Toxic Shame?
(05:46) Lacking Ego Boundaries
(08:28) The Child Sees Parents as Gods
7/26/2020 • 12 minutes, 55 seconds
Can you get infected with NPD?
Can victims of narcissistic abuse develop narcissistic traits?
(00:00) Is It Possible to Develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Contagion? Part 1
(03:45) Is It Possible to Develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Contagion? Part 2
(07:27) Spoiling a Child Can Be Just as Damaging as Abuse
(08:33) Could a Singular NPD Person Cause NPD in Their Partner?
(11:00) Reading Info From Sam Vaknin's Website Part 1
(15:41) Reading Info From Sam Vaknin's Website Part 2
(21:07) Victims on the Internet Are a Non-representative Sample
(24:18) Wrapping Up
7/25/2020 • 24 minutes, 36 seconds
Am I Vulnerable To Abuse? (The Invisible Wounds)
How narcissists exploit their victims weaknesses?
(00:57) Consider This One Thing
(02:20) Invisible Wounds
(03:26) Being Prone to Abusive People
(04:24) Covert Narcissists Are Secret Abusers
7/25/2020 • 6 minutes, 10 seconds
Trauma as Initiation (plus Neuroplasticity)
We know trauma changes a person. Can it change you for the better? How it affects our neural pathways, and why neuroplasticity is important in recovery? This, and more in this episode including Q&A Session.
(00:02) Getting Started
(01:25) Richard Talks About Him Thinking How the Coaching Practice Can Be Advanced
(05:54) The Biggest Issue is Resistance
(08:32) Ancient People Understood the Nuances of Human Psychology Better Than We Do Now
(09:41) Three Things That Set Down Neural Pathways
(15:15) Spiritual Practices That Can Change Your Life
(16:52) Going Into Shock
(20:18) Why You Need Neuroplasticity to Heal
(26:35) The Only Thing You Can Really Do to Change
(32:03) “What Do You Think of People, Even Psychologists, Saying "Life is Beautiful"?”
(34:34) “Could Someone Who’s Been in a Relationship With a Narcissist for a Long Period of Time Take on Some of the Narcissist Traits?”
(35:42) “How Do You Break Burnout?”
(36:32) Thoughts on Yoga
(40:55) “Have You Gotten Reiki Done?”
(42:08) “So No Psychedelics? What’s the Next Closest Thing?”
(43:33) “Is Ketamine a Psychedelic?”
(45:11) Thoughts on Art Effecting Positive Change
(46:40) Wrapping Up
7/24/2020 • 47 minutes, 19 seconds
How do I defend against narcissists and overcome the "wounded healer" archetype?
Do you feel like you're an outcast? A "wounded healer"/shaman?
Are you fed up with being abused by narcissists?
You may feel isolated and alone with your problem, maybe hopeless in the face of abuse.
In this episode, you'll get my insights into how to be less vulnerable to abuse and what should an "outcast" do.
(00:45) Narcissists Pick Wounded Ones So Stay in a Good State
(02:12) Set Internal Boundaries
(04:22) Narcissists Bait-and-switch, Reframing
(06:25) Saying No & Self-assertiveness
(07:29) Dealing With Wounded Healer Archetype
(09:58) Rewriting Your Story
7/24/2020 • 11 minutes, 23 seconds
How to Stop Yourself Getting Into Shitty Relationships
Do you find yourself in the same, broken relationships over and over again?
We have to understand we make our choices emotionally, not rationally.
When you better UNDERSTAND your emotions, you instantly make better decisions.
If that resonates with you, listen in!
**Find the course mentioned at: www.spartanlifecoach.com
7/24/2020 • 9 minutes, 9 seconds
Narcissistic Abuse Survival Kit
Here are 8 things that will help you after narcissistic abuse.
(00:51) #1 Call Abuse - Abuse
(01:53) #2 Diminishing Contact
(03:11) #3 Do a Sanity Check
(03:59) #4 Realize You're Emotionally Disregulated
(04:49) #5 Stability, Support and Sanity
(06:37) #6 Socializing After Isolation
(07:31) #7 There's Gonna Be Grief
(09:12) #8 Rebuilding Yourself
7/24/2020 • 11 minutes, 6 seconds
How We Traded REAL Love for Shallow NARCISSISM (And What That is Doing to Us)
Many people feel lonely in today's world.
We want to be seen, heard and felt.
Yet, are we ready TO see, hear and feel?
It's not necessarily your fault to have unrealistic view of relationships.
We live in narcissistic, consumer society, and environment have a BIG impact on us.
Having that in mind, there are ways we can get back to real, authentic, human Love.
If you want something more than a 'product' from your relationships, you'll love this episode.
(00:34) Reading Today's Question
(05:00) Using Psychological Lingo to Avoid the Pain
(06:52) We're Desperate to Go Viral and Be Seen & That's a Devil's Work
(10:31) We Live in an Anti-love Environment
(12:31) Love Needs a Moral System to Thrive
(16:40) Offering the Time and Attention to Others
(18:57) Answering and Analyzing the Question (Advices)
(20:18) Shared Lived Experience Instead of Witnessing Each Other Lives
(22:31) The Distant Dream We Chase but Don't Really Want to Achieve
(24:30) Relationship is a Crap Drug
(25:19) Willingness to Change Require Sacrifices
(26:12) Growing Up, Emotional Maturity & Bravery
(27:03) Journaling & Defining What You Want
7/23/2020 • 30 minutes, 7 seconds
How do I split up with my narcissistic ex?
Leaving the narcissist behind may be challenging.
They are expert manipulators AND you're emotionally disregulated.
It's good to have a game plan and a solid strategy.
Here you'll learn what you need in order to split up with narcissistic partner.
(00:20) Avoid Stupid Decisions & Maintain Stability
(02:16) Re-assert Your Boundaries
(02:46) Clever "No Contact"
(05:47) Ending Sincerity
(08:08) Moving Towards Sanity
7/23/2020 • 9 minutes, 9 seconds
Law of Attraction - My Unpopular View on It
The Law of Attraction has become a popular movement.
There is a reason for that, which is not often discussed.
If you want to know my take on it, here it is.
(00:04) Getting Started
(01:07) There's No Law and There's No Attraction
(02:12) The Reason Why the Secret is Trash
(06:43) We Don't Have Enough Respect for the Magic That Already Exists in Our World
(07:40) The New Thought Movement
(10:53) Softening the Whole Map of Reality
(17:33) What Happens if You Soften the Map of Reality and Blur the Boundaries?
(20:25) The World We Live in is Created by People Who Are Somewhere on the Scale of the New Thought Movement
(22:00) Magick is Repetitive Discipline
(24:37) Wrapping Up
7/23/2020 • 24 minutes, 41 seconds
'Lies Bind, Truth Frees' - Narcissistic Abuse Deconstructed
You can only move forward when you admit to the reality of where you are. The truth of where you are and how you got here.
It's not always easy and you can postpone doing that, yes.
But hopefully this will make it easier for you.
** Find the courses mentioned at: www.spartanlifecoach.com
(00:52) All of Us Have a Monster Inside
(03:33) Re-defining Love for Ourselves
(06:14) Truth Frees, Lies Bind
(09:39) You Can Truth Your Way Out of Heartbreak
(11:17) The Path of Lies
(13:05) How Narcissists Recruit You for a Certain Role and Punish You if You Don't Do What You're Told
(18:52) Commit to Truth, Commit to Moving Forward
(19:56) Courses That Can Help You
7/22/2020 • 22 minutes, 33 seconds
Can we work towards a total cure for Complex-PTSD? (notes)
Is the total cure for CPTSD possible? Can we work toward it together, and how?
Many therapists are helpless in cases of personality disorders or CPTSD.
That is because the MODEL they're using is not very effective in terms of making people get better.
So can we create better models instead?
(00:05) Richard Explains His Project's Background & How It Became About CPTSD
(05:32) Therapists Gave Up on People With CPTSD and Personality Disorders
(10:24) Can We Have a Total Cure for CPTSD?
(12:27) More Complex Element of the Problem
(15:15) Objective Constancy, Map and Territory, Sanity & Getting Traction
(19:04) Establishing Causality Will Make You Get Better
(22:35) Be Your Own Therapist (Receive AND Transmit)
7/21/2020 • 25 minutes, 42 seconds
Narcissistic partner has NO power over you if you are not flashbacking!
This is the ultimate protection against narcissists.
Flashbacks disregulate you and make you an easy target.
You knowing what you really feel is what narcissist fear the most.
(00:06) The Reason Why You Need to Reduce Emotional Flashbacks
(02:22) If You’re Flashbacking, You Won’t Be Able to Say What’s Real and What’s Not
(06:31) Narcissists Use Reactive Abuse
(08:09) Is BPD Inherently Evil and Bad?
(10:29) Are There Any Simple Tricks?
(14:22) Inability to Tell the Difference Between a Real Emotion and an Emotional Flashback Reveals Emotional Illiteracy
(19:05) Talking About Creating an App for Emotional Literacy Work
(21:32) The Emotional Literacy Course Focuses on Emotions, Not on Story
(23:23) Answering Questions About Courses
(24:27) How to Get Over the Fear of Going Out After Splitting From Someone Emotionally Abusive
(25:59) Wrapping Up
7/21/2020 • 27 minutes, 32 seconds
2 Mistakes that Every Guy Makes When Approaching Girls
It can apply to women too!
What are the most important mistakes when approaching attractive person?
You don't need to be cool and amazing to meet them.
Being yourself is well enough, but there are some things that work against us in that context.
I have discussed them here, so listen in!
(01:03) Putting Girl on a Pedestal
(04:15) Good-looking Girls Have a Really Hard Time
(06:23) Stop Yourself From Trying to Impress
(08:22) The Problem of Needy, Nasty Vibes
(10:54) Your State Transmits & Approach Avoidance
(12:29) Try to Make It Simple (Being Centered and Polite)
(15:56) Get Your Emotional State in Order Before You Approach
7/21/2020 • 19 minutes, 22 seconds
"Just Say No!" to the ADDICTION of co-dependent and people pleasing behaviour
People pleasing is an addiction.
That means you can be aware of it and stop it.
7/21/2020 • 6 minutes, 43 seconds
Narcissist Test - My Results for DARK CORE Personality Test Revealed (plus Moral Disengagement)
Please only do the test here https://qst.darkfactor.org/ and please offer permission for the researchers to use your results - the more data from the largest sample size, the better!
(00:01) Introduction to Dark Traits
(00:47) Breakdown of the 9 Dark Core Traits
(02:20) The D Factor & Correlation
(02:46) On Utility Maximization
(03:11) Richard's Results
(04:00) The Idea for a Better Model
(05:56) On Moral Disengagement
(08:18) How That Model Could Be Used in Therapy?
7/20/2020 • 9 minutes, 52 seconds
On The Borderline
Borderline Personality Disorder is often misdiagnosed CPTSD, or a result of it.
We're going to discuss it's main symptoms and characteristics.
If you want to understand borderline better, this is the right episode.
(00:11) Richard's Experience With Borderline & What is BPD?
(03:03) Impulsivity of BPD & Compassion
(06:38) CPTSD as a Cause of BPD
(10:22) How Can BPD Move Forward?
(12:13) Other BPD's Symptoms and Problems
(14:11) Idealisation and Devaluation
(15:04) Fear of Abandonment
(18:01) Dissociation and Inability to "be in the Moment"
(19:12) If You Want to Heal You Will
7/20/2020 • 20 minutes, 38 seconds
Why Am I Attracted to Narcissists?
What is it about them that makes them so attractive?
Why are you attracted to them?
There are certain psychological processes that might be at play.
This episode will make it easy for you to understand it and do something about it.
(00:11) Your Parents Interactions as Partners
(00:44) What Needs Are Being Fulfilled?
(02:47) Look for the Traits in Yourself
(04:17) Extreme Measures to Get Rid of Addictions
(05:19) Acknowledging Forms of Narcissism in Your Choices
(12:04) Wrapping Up
7/19/2020 • 13 minutes, 15 seconds
One Weird Tip To Totally Change Your Life Now
I'm going to give you one weirdly simple tip, that will help you get your life in order immediately.
This is one weird old school coaching tip no matter what you face in your life right now.
7/19/2020 • 4 minutes, 10 seconds
How to Respond to Bullying? (And Deal With Threat of Criminal Psychopaths)
No one has a right to bully you into doing something.
You are an adult who make his own choices.
Find out how a bully operates and how to respond with courage.
(00:38) Breaking Down the Bullying (Threat, Agenda and "or Else...")
(04:04) Obeying vs. Saying No (Should You Go to Secondary Location?)
(10:33) Does the Threat Merit the Response?
7/18/2020 • 15 minutes, 34 seconds
Is Your Narcissist Also A Borderline? Probably...
Most narcissist are comorbid with borderline - what does it mean?
7/18/2020 • 6 minutes, 34 seconds
I'm pro Love but I prefer to be single - why?
7/18/2020 • 4 minutes, 44 seconds
3 Tips on How to Deal With PTSD Now
PTSD can be a real drag. It's no way to live.
The faster you recover, the more of your life is back.
There's no time to waste, so let's jump right into it.
(00:00) Stating the Topic of the Video
(01:03) BPD and CPTSD Confused
(03:38) Be Aware of Your State and Try to Remain in a Good State as Long as Possible
(08:03) The More You Do It, the Better You Get at Doing It
(11:13) The Importance of Internal Boundaries
(15:07) How Do You Get Your Internal Boundaries Back?
(20:52) Wrapping Up
7/18/2020 • 21 minutes, 24 seconds
Dysregulation of the HPA Axis - Biological Impact of Complex PTSD
CPTSD does affect our body and our neurochemistry.
When we realize it's all connected it might be easier to accept how we feel.
That understanding may also lead to acceleration of our healing.
(00:14) Introduction to the Topic
(03:14) What is HPA Axis?
(04:45) Effects of Dysregulation
(07:04) Adrenaline Levels Relation to Personality Disorders
(08:09) Terms and Labels We Use
(10:00) What Traumatizes People?
(12:33) Being Trapped in Abusive/toxic Situation
(14:21) Not All Abused Become Abusers, Not All Abusers Been Abused
(18:19) Emotionally Injured People Become Emotionally Manipulative
(21:47) Can People Can Heal From HPA Axis Dysregulation?
(22:56) On Gabor Mate & Holistic Approach
(27:35) Abuse in Boarding Schools Rooted in Military, Lack of Compassion, Breaking People Down
7/18/2020 • 31 minutes, 48 seconds
Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is often invisible, and that is a problem.
Reaching for help among relatives, they can make you feel crazy when they're not the ones experiencing it.
These effects of the narcissistic abuse are what most victims go through.
** Find the courses mentioned at: www.spartanlifecoach.com
(00:01) Getting Started
(01:00) Narcissistic Abuse Messes With the Core of Your Reality
(07:38) You Can't Talk to Others About the Abuse (Secondary Gaslighting)
(10:02) Everyday, Unsanctioned Evil
(12:26) About the Course
(13:43) Self-isolation
(14:19) Hypervigilance & Nervousness
(14:56) Dark Reality Tunnel
(16:10) Lord of the Rings Story Reference
7/17/2020 • 19 minutes, 29 seconds
How To Induce Borderline Personality Disorder?
Living with a borderline personality is a hell of a ride.
Can it affect you? And how?
(02:22) How Relationship With Narcissist Changes You
(03:53) How Borderline Operates (Shock Tactics)
(06:20) How Borderline Condition You to Live in Fear
(11:41) Do You Feel Like Walking on Eggshells?
(13:01) How to Deal With Sulking? (and Bad Behavior)
7/17/2020 • 16 minutes, 41 seconds
What I LEARNED Living With A NARCISSIST (Covert Narcissist)
I was living with a narcissist comorbid with a borderline for few years and after time, successfully recovered.
Here is what I learned about covert abuse and abuser behavior.
(00:08) Victim Can Also Be a Narcissist
(02:01) Emotional Abusiveness is Not Owned by Either Sex
(05:52) Narcissists Controlling External Perceptions of Him
(08:11) Was It Autism?
(11:47) Covert Narcissism
(13:51) Accelerated Intimacy & Provoking Love
(17:50) Recovery After Relationship & Attachment Trauma
(24:55) Summary
7/16/2020 • 26 minutes, 8 seconds
Post Breakup Over Analysis Syndrome (How to Stop It)
This is a straightforward explanation of how to break free from overanalyzing past relationship.
I'm going to show you why does it happen and the techniques to stop it that are working.
In short: if you want your mind clear and free you'll love this episode.
(00:13) Positive Intent
(01:39) Blame It on the Brain
(04:53) Problems Created by the Brain Trying to Save Us
(08:17) Parts Theory
(11:42) See Through What Really Happened
(14:59) Summary
(16:27) Negotiating With Your Brain
7/16/2020 • 19 minutes, 9 seconds
The one place you don't want to go in your mind, is the place you must go to heal... (Q&A)
Many people try EVERYTHING and still don't get better.
There is really just one way to heal.
That is feeling through your emotions and facing the pain.
It's not nice, it's not fun. But is being semi-alive better?
(00:10) Running vs. Lifting Weights
(01:36) "How Do We Re-write Our Core Values?"
(03:22) "Is It Important to Remember the Memories Behind the Emotions?"
(05:30) The One Place You Don't Want to Go
(09:06) How to Deal With Dissociation?
(12:02) How to Start With Emotional Literacy?
7/16/2020 • 13 minutes, 29 seconds
How to Make People Feel Good?
Every word we use has a meaning and great impact on other's person mood.
When you know that, you will be able to make people feel good and at ease.
I will show you how to be a better conversationalist, so that everyone will LOVE being around you.
7/15/2020 • 13 minutes, 39 seconds
The Final Trump of The Narcopalypse (with Q&A)
On narcissism as a new social value, morality in our society, how narcissism and power go together, psychology of Donald Trump and more.
(00:00) We Have No Reasons To Believe That Donald Trump Is The Right Man For The Job
(04:20) ...And Neither Was Hilary Clinton A Good Choice
(05:19) Why Did Donald Trump Get Into Power?
(10:14) We Like Trump Because Narcissism Has Become A New Social Value
(11:51) We Are Breaking Down Social Morality
(17:59) Donald Trump's Fragile Relationship With Reality
(22:15) How A Narcissist Maps A Potential Victim's Vulnerability
(26:47) Why Donald Trump Might Fall Out Of Love With The Idea Of Presidency
(30:03) One Of The Things That Might Happen If He Steps Down
(33:18) Talking About The Absolute Power
(38:39) NPDs Have A Very Poor Grasp Of Reality And Are Extremely Impressionable
(42:53) An Effect Narcissistic Chief Has On A Company
(46:14) We Are Approaching Peak Narcissism
||Q&A Section||
(51:23) "Do you believe Putin is a psychopath?"
(53:05) "Is Sam Vaknin a real doctor?"
(54:11) "Do you believe trump will really cause huge problems?"
(55:03) "What do you think will take for people to wake up?"
(55:44) Talking about Brexit
(57:20) "What is your analysis on Trump's children?"
(58:47) Responding to a comment about the system
(1:01:55) Why we need emotional intelligence and compassion training
(1:06:07) "What is Trump's main supply?"
(1:09:37) "What makes Trump Trump? Do you think he was entitled golden child?"
(1:13:31) Wrapping Up
7/15/2020 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 21 seconds
Procrastination and Lack of Motivation in CPTSD
There are really only 3 reasons for lack of motivation.
You may think you're just lazy or lacking self-discipline when that is almost never the case.
We're going to discuss these reasons in this episode, so that you have good understanding of what is going on.
With that understanding you will be able to recover your drive and motivation to live a passionate life again.
(00:01) Stating Today's Topic
(05:55) If You Ask Why, You'll Find How
(07:48) Psychology is Created to Find Something Sick in an Individual
(11:16) If You Don't Have Motivation, You Might Be Depressed Part 1
(15:46) If You Don't Have Motivation, You Might Be Depressed Part 2
(17:35) What is Depression and Why Does It Happen?
(21:45) Emotions Are a Part of You, You Can't Switch Them Off
(25:50) Suffering is a Part of Life
(30:35) Motivation/procrastination and Superego Injunction
(35:37) Talking About Hitler Taking Drugs
(39:34) How Do You Deal With Lefty Liberal Fascists Equally as Tyrannical as Far-right?
(43:56) Listening to a Viewer's Story: Procrastinating Because of a Heartbreak Part 1
(49:10) Listening to a Viewer's Story: Procrastinating Because of a Heartbreak Part 2
(55:48) Listening to a Viewer's Story: Accusing a Person of Something That Isn't True Part 1
(1:00:44) Listening to a Viewer's Story: Accusing a Person of Something That Isn't True Part 2
(1:03:45) Wrapping Up
7/14/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 17 seconds
Actionable Tips for Positive Change (live Q&A)
"What we focus on grows stronger" is the main theme of this live Hangout including Q&A.
Many interesting topics have been covered, revolving around the things one can do to make a positive change in his life.
(00:31) If You Fail to Deliver a Message Through to the Unconscious, None of the Useful Stuff Sticks
(01:59) Our Brain is Kind of Set Up to Be a Pain Seeking Machine
(05:59) Telling a Story Part 1
(10:27) Telling a Story Part 2
(14:03) You Can't Tax the Best Things in Life
(19:21) Get Back to Reality
(22:52) Richard Talks About How He Made a Difference and Changed His Life
(24:22) Abused People Tend to Become Abusive
(26:34) Time is a Flat Circle
(30:18) Responding to Short Comments
(31:57) Richard Talks About One of His Nightmares
(34:04) Richard Talks About What He Personally Gets From Making These Videos Part 1
(38:56) Richard Talks About What He Personally Gets From Making These Videos Part 2
(43:49) Responding to Short Comments
(47:58) Artificial Intelligence Already Affects Us
(51:59) Responding to Some Comments and Wrapping Up
7/14/2020 • 55 minutes, 51 seconds
Why We Can't Let Go of the Past? (A Walk Through Angkor Wat)
The past can be really painful.
Not being able to let it go hurts.
But what if it was never the case?
Maybe it's not about erasing our past?
If you want to deal with the emotional pain, this is the right episode.
(00:00) Introduction - Richard's Story of Temple Walk
(06:00) The Point - a Metaphor of Roots and the Temple
(07:59) So How Do We Let Go of the Past? (Not Knowing & Humility)
(11:17) Aliveness & Suffering
(13:16) Awareness of Pain, Alertness, Care and Paying Attention
(14:49) Auto-therapy and Expressing Feelings
(18:38) Accepting the Pain & Systemic Approach
(20:23) Depression as a Deep-rest
(23:21) Don't Use Cleverness to Avoid Pain
7/14/2020 • 24 minutes, 43 seconds
How to Get Back Into a Healthy Relationship After Narcissistic Abuse?
Starting a new relationship after emotional abuse can be really hard.
Here are the most important points you need to know if you want that relationship to be healthy.
Sticking to them will make you a strong and mature person, being able to build a fulfilling connection.
Start working on these now.
(00:17) Dealing With Emotional Dysregulation First
(01:35) Where Does CPTSD Come From?
(03:49) What is Super-ego and How Does It Become Hijacked?
(06:59) Super-ego, if It's Not Being Dealt With, Will Keep Inducing Emotional Flashbacks
(12:20) What You Need to Do if You Want to Be in a Healthy Relationship
(16:27) "If the Rule by Which You Lived Has Led You to This Point in Your Life, of What Use Was the Rule?"
(20:06) Wrapping Up
7/13/2020 • 21 minutes, 14 seconds
Do these 3 THINGS every morning to accelerate your healing NOW
This is one of the most powerful and yet most underestimated techniques.
People tend to think something is too simple to work. But then are astonished when they actually try it.
It's easy for your mind to fall into thinking about the problem. But how did that worked so far?
No more. You want to move forward.
In this episode you will discover how to switch your focus to accelerate your healing.
To see the other tutorials go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG-frPf8Iq8&list=PLwPU59DePqmPqqVg-0n_dcPT1bYxd6_wY
(Fortress Mental Health Protection System)
(01:41) Nobody is Coming to Save You
(03:54) #1 What can I DO today to help myself heal?
(07:32) #2 What can I do to support myself? (+ examples)
(15:03) #3 What can I do that moves me toward healing and having fun?
(16:34) Putting Chaos Back Into Order
7/13/2020 • 20 minutes, 28 seconds
The One Belief Change You Need To Blast Through ALL Procrastination
This is a quick one.
Do you find yourself slacking off?
You procrastinate and the longer you do it the worse it gets?
Listen on how to get back on track.
(00:46) Failure & Patience
(02:21) Accepting Discomfort
(04:50) Bravery & Spartan Attitude
7/12/2020 • 9 minutes, 15 seconds
How to say “NO” to a Narcissist
How do you know if the relationship is abusive?
Say the magic word "no" and watch the reaction.
You have been conditioned to not be able to say no.
But remember it is your right to have boundaries and every boundary is a "no".
7/12/2020 • 4 minutes, 3 seconds
Cycle of Narcissism - Black Sheep Become Empaths Who Attract Narcs (and so on...)
Can narcissism cycle and breed over generations? What are the parental errors and how you can avoid them?
(00:21) Brutal Reality of Family Unit
(02:30) Empaths Creating Narcissism?
(05:01) Overachiever Syndrome, Differences Between Generations
(07:47) Be Careful With Affection and Giving Too Much Attention
(10:29) Parents Need to Teach How to Grow Up (On Parenting)
7/12/2020 • 13 minutes, 15 seconds
How Physical Appearance Affects Self Assertiveness
Do you care about your appearance? Are you worried how others see you?
You may think that you have to be beautiful, and if you don't, you'll have a hard time with people.
Turns out there are deeper, more important things than simple, outside appearance.
I'll show you real life examples of how that rule plays out.
(00:18) Reading and Braking Down Today's Question
(09:42) Your State is More Important Than Your Looks
(13:09) Richard's Experiment
(19:13) It's Our Responsibility to Let Others Know Who We Are
(21:50) Everyone's Cool When You're Cool (Richard's Personal Example)
(27:05) Example of How Reality Tunnels Work
(31:03) Giving People Different Energy & Natural Prejudice to Strangers
7/11/2020 • 37 minutes, 22 seconds
How to get yourself in order
Lot of people just passively drag through life nowadays.
Our culture fosters toxic passivity and that is a problem.
If you are here, you probably want something better.
If so, listen to the solution in this episode.
(00:01) Richard Explains Why He Stopped Face-to-face Counselling & Why He Got Back to It Now
(04:04) Importance of Personal Sense of Right and Wrong
(08:34) Passivity is a Consequence of Not Having Any Moral Philosophy
(13:12) We Are Trained to Be Seen Through Robot’s Eyes
(17:58) The Connection Between Healthy Boundaries and Moral Philosophy
(20:06) Does Porn Have Any Useful Function?
(25:32) Does Porn Destroy True Love?
(26:35) The Ancients Knew That Overindulgence Didn’t Lead to Anything Good Morally
(28:40) Are Those Who Make Pornography Sexually Autistic?
(30:35) Isn’t Labelling a Person With Toxic Passivity Problematic?
(31:59) Does General Population Find PTSD Ridiculous?
(35:12) Toxic Passivity and Solutions to It
(37:27) How to Deal With Friends Who Don’t Recognize One’s PTSD?
(38:53) Is Toxic Passivity Rooted in Learned Helplessness?
(41:45) Emotional Flashback is a Commonly Misunderstood Term
(44:39) Ruminating is an Emotional Flashback
(49:39) Talking About the Weezer and the Foo Fighters Concert
(52:46) Tips on Being Articulate
(55:12) Goodbye
7/11/2020 • 55 minutes, 30 seconds
FOCUS on what you DO want (NLP Applied Psychology Tips)
Do you feel stuck? You experience negativity over and over again?
Solution is simple, yet often overlooked.
You can direct your attention and I'll tell you how.
(00:19) Survivability is More Important Than Your Happiness
(01:51) Law of Attraction and Visualisation? Directing Your Unconscious
(04:08) Be Specific About What You Do Want
7/10/2020 • 6 minutes, 11 seconds
Does Emotions Hinder or Help Us?
This reframe can change your life and how you achieve your goals.
Emotions can often annoy us and hinder our progress.
Does it always have to be like that?
If you want your feelings to be your fuel instead, check this out!
This is an excerpt from the Emotional Literacy Course available on: www.spartanlifecoach.com
7/10/2020 • 4 minutes, 56 seconds
Is my ex girlfriend a narcissist or a borderline? How do I get rid of her?
Ever wondered how to "get rid of" your ex?
Often times they stick around and try their tactics to get to us.
You can also be unsure what to expect from their condition or how to act properly.
You want to be equipped for that situation, so this is what we'll discuss
(01:43) Problem With Mainstream Psychiatry, Use of Labels
(05:29) Neurotic Response to Other
(06:54) Personality Disorders Cross-covering
(08:08) What is Antisocial Personality Disorder?
(13:08) Borderline/Histrionic is More Prevalent in Young Females
(15:53) Don't Obsess Over Diagnosis
(18:43) Is It a Wishful Thinking That Ex Will Eventually Move on?
(19:49) Going No Contact, Gray Stone Technique
7/10/2020 • 25 minutes, 19 seconds
Narcissism in Hindu Perspective (Materialism leading to NPD)
We live in an age of human devolution (according to Hinduism).
It makes sense when you look around.
What good can the world obsessed with materialism do?
In this episode we take a look at what insights about narcissists can spiritual beliefs give us.
(00:17) Richard's Hindu Friend Story & What is Materialism
(05:28) Materialism & Narcissism
(08:22) The Age of Misery
(09:41) Can Narcissist Have a Deep Spiritual Belief?
(11:57) Attachment to Material World as a Devil's Trick
(15:37) Interpretation of Devil's Tarot Card
(18:27) Note on Astronomy
7/10/2020 • 20 minutes, 18 seconds
Borderline and CPTSD? CPTSD or Borderline?
This is straight up explanation of commonalities and differences between CPTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder.
We're going to discuss the nature and origin of both disorders, including the trauma effects on a person's psyche.
If you want to deepen your understanding of these phenomenons, listen in.
(01:04) Description of Complex PTSD
(06:42) Emotional Dysregulation as a Common Trait Between BPD and CPTSD
(10:58) Objectivity as a Cure
(11:46) Emotional Flashback and the Pain Body
(13:17) Trauma of Relationship With Abusive Personality Type
(17:16) Nature of Borderline Disorder
(19:13) Unconscious Mind Only Care About Survival
7/9/2020 • 21 minutes, 51 seconds
IS NARCISSISM A SURVIVAL STRATEGY FOR THE 21st CENTURY - The Sam Vaknin Interview
This is an interview with Sam Vaknin about narcissism in modern day culture and how it fits in its socio-economic systems.
(00:01) To Survive In Today's World You Need To Be Narcissistic
(02:40) Narcissists Are Social Animals
(05:21) Psychopathic Narcissists Combine The Worst Of Both Afflictions
(07:56) In The Modern World You Have To Work Hard To Stand Out And It Encourages Narcissistic Behaviour
(10:23) There's An Arms Race Of Being Noticed And Seen
(13:58) One Of The Main Reasons Why We Have Family And Community
(17:33) Narcissist Begs For Narcissistic Supply, Psychopath Just Takes It
(18:51) Why Feudalism Fits Psychopathic Narcissists More Than Capitalism
(21:46) Good Leader Is A Leader Who Doesn't Care
7/9/2020 • 26 minutes, 23 seconds
How Can Culture Give Us CPTSD?
Ever wondered if you've been covertly abused by someone else than your parents or partner?
In this episode we're looking at how culture and society can covertly abuse people by pushing their norms.
This can be something eye-opening and new for you. Enjoy.
(00:02) Hello & Starting the Topic
(02:08) How Can CPTSD Be Developed?
(05:59) Catch 22 (The Double Bind Theory)
(12:39) CPTSD Forming When Going Against the Grain
(16:34) Covert Narcissistic Abuse Coming From Society
(20:32) Richard's Story About Abuse of Gay People
(22:14) Ideology Covertly Pushing Us Into Stereotypes
(24:36) Answering Question About Rachel Dolezal (Race War & Mind Controlling)
(32:23) "How to cut-off contact with covert narcissist, particularly with family?"
(41:55) Frank Herber's "Dune" Reference (Superiority of Covert Abuse)
(50:14) "Why is my ex ignoring our daughter?"
7/9/2020 • 53 minutes, 40 seconds
The Truth About Drug Use
Are drugs good or bad?
Whether they're pharmaceutical or illegal, socially approved or taboo,
everybody uses some type of drug.
(02:02) Richard's Background and His Stance on Drugs
(07:49) Problem of Black & White Thinking With Drugs
(14:00) There Are Consequences of Taking Drugs
(16:58) About Weed (Why People Do It and It's Dangers)
(21:37) Facebook as an Addiction
(23:06) Alcohol and Disinhibition (Would Bars Even Be Open if You Take Out Sexual Tension?)
(26:53) We All Have Addictions - That's Ok to Some Extent
7/8/2020 • 30 minutes, 24 seconds
It's NOT a "Biological Disease" (Cracking Depression)
Have you been feeling depressed? Did you wonder what is the reason for depression?
There is a narrative about depression in the mainstream.
Let's be honest.
It's a complete BS.
And it's a BS that's convenient for some interests.
If you want to heal, you don't want to fall into that trap.
The way we think about a problem, determines our agency over that problem.
Here you will gain new perspectives and new ways to think about depression.
(00:07) Psychology is Not a Science
(02:38) Depression as a Biological Disease Myth Pt1
(06:27) Further Debunking Biological Basis for Mental Health Issues
(10:01) On Antidepressants and Drugs
(15:33) Suppressed Rage & Sick Society
(21:57) Is Chemical Solution Always Bad?
(24:48) Depression as a Biological Disease Myth Pt2
(28:53) Depression as a Biological Disease Myth Pt3
7/8/2020 • 34 minutes, 34 seconds
Don't Run From Pain
This is some hard truths you need to hear.
Yet we cannot heal without facing the reality.
It's not easy, but hopefully this will make you braver.
It's well worth it.
7/8/2020 • 15 minutes, 57 seconds
Emotional Literacy Can Heal CPTSD?
This is something that 10X your recovery speed.
Everybody's tells us about the importance of processing our emotions, but rarely tells us how. We get stuck and frustrated repressing our feelings and not moving forward.
Not anymore. This episode shows you a way of processing your emotions that WORKS even if you haven't done it before.
If you want to finally start understanding your feelings then jump right in.
(00:02) The Reasons Why We Lose Our Capacity To Process Emotions
(02:14) What Happens Over Time When You Become Emotionally Illiterate?
(06:44) Emotional Illiteracy And Capacity To Perceive Reality
(11:12) What Do We Do To Get People Emotionally Literate Again?
||Q&A Section||
(16:23) "Are you suggesting LSD? What if you're in addiction recovery?"
(18:03) "Do you think antidepressants stop emotional processing?"
(18:39) "Can you repeat the questions you ask the emotions?"
(20:05) "How do I know if my feelings are the right ones for the situation?"
(20:42) "If you've just discovered you're a very frightened person, how do you stay and feel that emotion without going numb again?"
(21:21) "What's up with the fear of disappointment? I find it hard to be the best version of myself because I'm afraid of disappointing anybody else"
(23:35) "Do you believe codependents will only ever be attracted to narcissists or can they heal and be attracted to the non-disordered?"
(26:53) Goodbye
7/7/2020 • 26 minutes, 55 seconds
How to Manage Contact With a Narcissist
Sometimes we have to stay in contact with a narcissist for whatever reason.
This can be upsetting and difficult situation. We might feel re-triggered every time we contact them, or just generally worse after the contact.
In this episode you'll discover rules and techniques that will make you feel safe while managing contact with a narcissist.
//Find the mentioned course at www.spartanlifecoach.com //
(00:49) Managing Contact With A Narcissist: Introduction
(01:46) Rule 1: Do Remember What You Are Dealing With
(05:23) Rule 2: Do Give Up Hope
(08:31) Using A Circuit Breaker Part 1
(13:15) Using A Circuit Breaker Part 2
(19:42) The Grey Rock Tactics
||Q&A Section||
(23:18) "Today for the first time my ex narc showed his personality disorder to our seven-year-old son. What do I say to a little boy to explain this?"
(25:02) Answering a question about feeling guilty
(28:17) "How can I get out of the rage which I can not feel because I'm afraid of my ex?"
(29:37) "I'm conducting an escape plan to get away from my narcissistic mother. Should I act normal so she doesn't suspect?"
(30:51) Responding to short comments part 1
(35:56) Responding to short comments part 2
(36:39) Narcissists being aggressive and provoking aggression
(37:53) Discussing hyper-competitiveness and sophistry
(41:49) Responding to a comment from a person who is a primary living caregiver for her aging covert narcissistic mother
(47:20) Wrapping Up
7/7/2020 • 49 minutes, 59 seconds
How PTSD Affects the Brain? (Biology Behind CPTSD/PTSD)
Can self-compassion physically change your brain? Exploring PTSD cures - calm the monkey, still the lizard and free the human.
(01:34) Biological Background of PTSD and CPTSD (Reptilian and Mammalian Brain)
(07:07) Prolonged Exposure to Extreme Stress and Threat Shrinking Hippocampus
(10:08) Recovering the Hippocampus
(13:19) Practicing the Access to Positive Emotions
(16:15) Emotional Processing/digestion
(18:27) Why Would Trauma Processing Be So Lethal?
(20:48) Accessing the Self-compassion With the Help of Counselling
7/6/2020 • 24 minutes, 44 seconds
Counter Dependency and Love-Phobia
Borderline Personality Disorder, Codependency, Counter Dependency, Narcissism
(0:00) Codependency And Counter Dependency
(4:33) Cluster B Personality Disorders Are Actually All Expressions Of Codependency
(5:51) Counter Dependent Looking Like A Classic Histrionic Or Borderline
(8:11) Counter Dependency Looking Like Grandiose Narcissism
(10:32) Never Get In A Relationship To Fix Someone
(14:00) What Counter Dependents Need To Do To Overcome Counter Dependency Part 1
(18:22) What Counter Dependents Need To Do To Overcome Counter Dependency Part 2
(24:20) The Final Advice For Counter Dependents
(26:13) Goodbye
7/6/2020 • 26 minutes, 19 seconds
Is THIS Love Bombing (or are they just genuinely interested in you) 5 Tips to Tell
How do you know if its "love bombing" or not?
Really this question comes down to an issue of boundaries and of perception.
***timestamps below***
It seems to be asking "Can I trust others?" but the real question is "Can I trust myself to make good judgement calls".
Love bombing is a term from cult psychology. It's the practise of having the cult members bomb the new recruit with love, so they feel like the cult is a kind of heaven of earth. Once they have been bonded to the cult, its members and its leader the "love bombing" stops abruptly leaving the newcomer wondering what they did wrong and trying to figure out how to fix the relationship.
Similarly, on a micro level between two people (a narcissist is a cult of one, they are both leader and god head) some people use the term "love bombing" to describe the early phases of the narcissistic relationship dance.
Personally I find the term a bit excessive and jargonistic, so I don't use it much. But this podcast explains what this "idealisation" phase looks like and how to differentiate
(00:04) Starting Today's Topic
(01:20) #1 Are You Boundaried and Adult? (House Metaphor)
(06:44) #2 How Does the Questioning Make You Feel?
(11:25) #3 What Happens When You Set a Boundary or Say No? (+ Don't Overshare)
(15:11) Oversharing on a First Date
(19:28) #4 How Anxious Does Dating Makes You Feel? (Check-in)
(25:05) #5 Emotional Literacy Test
(28:40) A Note on How the Question Look Like Outside, Richard on Vice Mocking Documentary
(32:49) Trust Yourself and Grow Up
(41:01) Dating Advice, Boundried Flirting and Respect
(44:42) Consumerism in Relationships
||Q&A Section||
(46:58) "How does one manage intense lust that keeps dragging them backwards?"
(48:43) "Is that why relationships last longer when you have started from friends?"
(49:57) "How much would you rely on your intuition vs. Logic?"
(50:37) "How does one avoid isolation when all who were trusted been compromised by the narc?"
(51:46) "Do intense feelings of connectedness upon first meeting with someone indicate the beginnings of an unhealthy relationship?"
(54:12) "Should the female make the first move?"
(59:38) "Advice or references for up keeping intimacy in a long term relationship?"
(1:07:56) "What do I do with a compulsive need of contribution?"
7/6/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 54 seconds
How to Use Meditation for CPTSD?
Meditation is used to strengthen your mind, awareness and quality of thoughts - attributes which are crucial to healing. Although for many CPTSD cases it can be triggering - here we will talk about it more deeply.
(00:37) Meditation is Just a Tool & Proceed With Caution
(01:43) You Should Start Very Lightly and Here's How
(05:28) Dealing With Obnoxious Feelings, Thoughts and Impulses
(07:55) Detachment and Critical Thought
(13:33) Meditation vs. Visualisation & Spiritual Bypassing Distractions
(15:47) Find the Middle Path
7/5/2020 • 16 minutes, 53 seconds
Conquer toxic passivity - develop a philosophy of competition!
An excerpt from a seminar touching on: having a right to be, growing up and letting go, taking ownership and responsibility, facing competition...
7/5/2020 • 12 minutes, 35 seconds
CPTSD? 5 Things You Can Do To Feel Better Now
Your body is a biological machine that have needs and need maintenance. Do these things to make sure you will start to feel better.
(State management, physical emotional and somatic sensations, physiology, sleep, diet and more)
7/4/2020 • 6 minutes, 54 seconds
How to Self Discipline? (For People Pleasers/Learned Helplessness)
What self-discipline really is and how to become more self-disciplined? How relevant it is in healing and overcoming narcissistic abuse and CPTSD?
Sign-up for the mentioned free course here: https://forms.aweber.com/form/27/353806527.htm
(00:35) The Truth About Self-discipline
(03:09) It's an Ethic Change That Needs to Happen
(04:17) Self-discipline in People With CPTSD & Toxic Superego
(07:18) Battling the Superego, Escaping Into Self-indulgence
(13:04) Spartan Life Coach Way of Kind Self-discipline
(16:12) Negotiating With ID (Inner Child)
||Q&A Section||
(21:12) "It's hard because I have this fight or flight response"
(21:54) "I don't understand what you mean by being sentimental?"
(22:42) "How do I up-level my emotional intelligence?"
(23:23) "What determines the amount of willpower we have as humans?"
(23:51) "Is sentimentality grieving over what could have been?"
(27:13) "How could I tell if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship or I'm just having regular flashbacks?"
(32:23) "How do you start healing the Inner Child?"
(33:20) "I don't have many disciplined people in my life to look to for inspiration"
(35:43) "Could you elaborate on negotiating with ID?"
(37:07) "How can a people pleaser deal with controlling people?"
(39:49) "What if the shift to positive ID has caused me to be less driven to achieve?"
(40:42) "How do you practise discipline when you are used to pushing through, getting things done?"
(41:59) "Can you talk about trauma bonding?" (fetishist split about a person)
(50:33) "Any advice for talking back to your people pleasing instinct in managing episodes of depersonalization?"
(52:08) "How can you tell if it's codependency or your ego getting hurt?"
(54:38) "Is being single the best state to be in for a CPTSD afflicted individual?"
(56:50) "How do you find the motivation for self-care when it's so instinctual not to do so?" (learned helplessness)
(1:03:19) "Why is it so hard to sync your emotional intelligence to the intellectual knowledge?"
(1:07:11) "Why does that sound a bit like a cult?"
(1:08:01) Answering Short Questions
(1:10:55) "Would you recommend Ayahuasca as a treatment for flashback?"
(1:13:34) Answering Short Questions
(1:15:48) Goodbye & Invitation to a Free Course
7/4/2020 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 27 seconds
How to Emotionally Re Regulate Someone?
(00:10) Your State Transmits
(01:02) Regulation and Zen Buddhism
(02:52) Meditation for Self-awareness
(04:58) State Management, Objective of Communication, Boundaries
(06:28) Clear Communication & Fawning
(08:53) Summary
7/4/2020 • 10 minutes, 23 seconds
Grey Rock Technique For Handling Narcissists (Quick Explanation)
Grey Rock is used to bore a narcissist to avoid the drama that is their narcissistic supply
7/4/2020 • 2 minutes, 52 seconds
CRAZYMAKING COMMUNICATION Covert Narcissists Use To ABUSE YOU (Narcissists Secret Weapon)
In this podcast, we talk about how narcissists use crazy communication tactics to abuse you and what you NEED to be aware of to prevent them from using their secret weapons.
(00:03) No Sincerity With Insincere
(01:11) The Point is - There is No Point
(03:06) Why Online Forums Fall Under Trolls, the Straw Man Fallacy and Other Tactics
(07:34) Fragile vs. Grandiose Narcissist
(12:23) Fragile and Grandiose Narcissist Differences in External and Internal
(17:45) How a Narcissist Makes You Feel Like You're Crazy
(22:38) Double Bind, Gas Lighting, Word Salad
(25:33) On Questioning and Interrogation
7/4/2020 • 27 minutes, 2 seconds
Codependency, Heartbreak and a Discipline of Optimism (with Q&A)
In this podcast we are going to take a look at issue of codependency and heartbreak, and explore optimism as a solution
(00:01) Hello
(00:13) Codependents Are Usually Fawn Responders
(05:06) Heartbreak Is A Nightmare For Anyone
(09:44) Emotional Flashbacking After A Heartbreak
(14:28) Why We All Need Humility
(17:04) Codependency Is A Bigger Issue Than CPTSD
(21:38) Don’t Pathologize Heartache
(27:43) What Is Discipline Of Optimism And Why Is It Important?
Q&A Section
(32:15) “I want to introduce a victim of narcissistic mother to a pack. Where to start?”
(34:47) Answering A Question About Dealing With Narcissistic Wife Of A Son
(38:21) “Do you have any future plans for seminars in the USA?”
(40:40) “How do you know that you’re healed from codependency?”
(45:00) “Any plans on doing seminars in other European countries?”
(47:49) “What is your take on CPTSD and did when they coexist? And how can you distinguish them?”
(49:52) “When is the time to date if you’ve got CPTSD and working through codependency?”
(55:18) “What is your brain telling you to do that you’re not doing?”
(58:52) “Do you think freedom is rooted in solitude?”
(1:00:28) “Why do I keep having codependent relationships with Chinese women?” part 1
(1:03:32) “Why do I keep having codependent relationships with Chinese women?” part 2
(1:07:25) “How to increase dopamine naturally?”
(1:09:44) “Do you feel uneasy or anxious in the United States?”
(1:14:53) The Problems With Boys In America
(1:19:52) Goodbye
7/3/2020 • 1 hour, 19 minutes, 58 seconds
Compassion for Narcissists (yes or no?)
About empathy, compassion and how we understand and use these words.
(00:00) Talking About Empathy
(05:08) Empathy Is Delusion
(10:12) The Issue Of Compassion
(13:19) The Way Codependents Use The Words Empathy And Compassion
(19:10) You Have To Accept That You Can't "Love Them Better"
(20:38) Richard Talks About Why Helping NPDs Is Not His Priority
(22:04) Goodbye
7/3/2020 • 23 minutes, 17 seconds
Can Codependency Be Context Specific? (Q&A)
Can codependency be context specific, modern cults, getting past anger after past relationship, emotionally detaching from a parent, and more - in this live Q&A session including live calls.
(00:01) Describing Today's Topic
(02:06) Is Cluster B personality disorder defined as an actual mental illness?
(02:47) Reading the email on the topic
(06:48) Richard on Exploitative Organizations and His Experiences
(12:46) How They Trauma Bond People
(18:10) Continuing With the Question
(24:06) Transactional Analysis & Vertical Communication
(25:55) On Domestic Violence
(28:43) Effects of Adrenaline Spikes
(31:25) The Person's State You're in Contact With Transmits
(36:33) Is it possible you had temporarily made yourself open to maltreatment rather than having any codependent tendencies?
(42:27) Getting past anger after relationship (call with Kevin)
(49:01) How not to explode when my abusive mother is ranting? How to detach from a parent? (call with Mehwish)
(56:56) How to trust and love again? (call with Sky)
(1:06:11) Conclusion (Can codependency be context specific)
(1:08:47) Is feeling vulnerable all the time same as victim mentality?
(1:11:24) Could my very strict religious upbringing have made me more vulnerable to narcissistic abuse?
7/3/2020 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 48 seconds
Narcissistic Abuse and CPTSD Recovery - Live Q&A with Richard Grannon
Extensive live Q&A session covering over 43 questions around the topic of narcissistic abuse and CPTSD recovery.
(00:01) Hello
(01:51) "Could a flashback be caused by something pleasant or needed in childhood?”
(03:29) "How do I deal with my boyfriend’s narcissistic child?”
(05:55) "Do you think there could be a link between traumatic abuse and vitamin deficiency?”
(06:42) "At what point can you tell when the fog is cleared and your thoughts are your own?”
(10:45) "How do I know if I’m high-functioning autism or it’s CPTSD/BPD?”
(14:25) "How do you deal with permanent rage?”
(20:55) "What do you think about the secret?”
(22:57) "My friend best friend is being hoovered via text by her NPD mother after months of silence. What line of reasoning can she use to reply or to go grey rock?”
(25:10) "Any tips for getting over feelings of shame?”
(26:56) "Should I be fully recovered from narc abuse before embarking on a life coach career?”
(29:17) "How do I get off antidepressants?”
(30:27) "How come I can’t remember any conversations with my mother?”
(31:39) "How do I increase my capacity for feeling pleasure?”
(32:53) "Is it dangerous to put yourself into new experiences that cause stress after getting over trauma like it is an addiction to stress?”
(34:47) "Will you be producing material for younger people?”
(36:18) "Must I heal my CPTSD first and then deal with my codependency?”
(37:56) "Is it common to stop yourself from succeeding when you have CPTSD?”
(41:16) "Can NPD cause anorexia?”
(44:31) "Can a toxic childhood lead you to become an empath?”
(45:53) "How do you not feel guilty for reporting narcissistic abuse to authorities?”
(47:56) "Tips to reverse my pathological negative self critic?”
(50:12) "I hear that my diagnosed NPD ex is doing the same behaviours at my 16 and 18 year old children. How to limit their damage?”
(53:04) "Is it normal to struggle, the long-term relationship is or was abusive, even after a diagnosis?”
(55:04) "One of my abusive parents is already dead but is still hurting me from the grave, the other is alive and strange but still vicious. How do heal all this festering wound even death can’t cure?”
(59:36) "Where can you get spartan life coach t-shirts from?”
(1:00:26) "You have a history in martial arts, has that experience helped develop your theories and career choice?”
(1:03:35) "Please can you differentiate between CPTSD and BPD?” part 1
(1:07:12) "Please can you differentiate between CPTSD and PPD?” part 2
(1:13:23) "Do borderlines stalk?”
(1:16:30) "Wish you had a program to develop group facilitators”
(1:18:51) "Can you explain how a scapegoat child can develop codependency or the golden child develop narcissism?”
(1:24:52) "You say grief is important to heal, I’ve been grieving all my life. Why did all go wrong?”
(1:26:19) "Is it smart to read Eckhart Tolle if you’re a codependent?”
(1:29:00) "Is schizoid behaviour related to CPTSD?”
(1:31:28) "As a parent what does recovery look like when you have a diagnosed BPD child that terrorizes you daily?”
(1:32:48) "What was the last book you read?”
(1:35:03) "How long did it take you to trust and date again post NPD brainwashing?”
(1:40:10) "Do you think the UK's media persons have a high incidence of narcissism?”
(1:41:20) "Have you any tips on surviving being stalked by a narcissistic ex?”
(1:43:05) "Can you explain love bombing?”
(1:44:58) "Do you believe that HG Tudor is a genuine covert narcissist?”
(1:46:12) Talking about the upcoming projects
(1:48:00) "Why do they still bother you after they have a new supply?”
(1:48:59) "How does one train to be a coach with you?”
(1:52:50) Goodbye
7/3/2020 • 1 hour, 53 minutes, 6 seconds
Compassion for Narcissists (yes or no?)
About empathy, compassion and how we understand and use these words.
(00:00) Talking About Empathy
(05:08) Empathy Is Delusion
(10:12) The Issue Of Compassion
(13:19) The Way Codependents Use The Words Empathy And Compassion
(19:10) You Have To Accept That You Can't "Love Them Better"
(20:38) Richard Talks About Why Helping NPDs Is Not His Priority
(22:04) Goodbye
7/2/2020 • 23 minutes, 17 seconds
Coping with Demonic Attack, Magick, Where does Spirituality Fit In?
Are you an atheist, do you believe in demons and magick, what is the truth and more.
(00:07) Getting Started
(01:26) Being Cautious of Polarization and Black & White Thinking
(04:37) We Chose What We Believe
(07:57) What Richard Believes?
(11:55) Example of Superstition of a Client
(15:03) Can You Be Under a Spell? Can You Curse Somebody?
(17:46) No One Map of Reality is the Only Truth, Expand Your Consciousness
(20:13) Focusing on What You Do Want
(22:14) Choosing a Teacher/healer
(24:23) Getting Over Demonic Possessions
(27:23) Submission to a Higher Force
(32:38) Goodbye
7/2/2020 • 33 minutes, 44 seconds
Fake Nice Guys - The False Economy of Dating "Nice" Guys
A discussion covering topics like: male - female relationship dynamics, the myth of alpha male and women preferences and importance of instincts in judging people.
(00:13) Women Tend to Chose More Feminine Man
(07:20) Alpha Male vs. Predatory Male
(12:10) Is There Really Such a Thing as "Alpha" in Human Culture?
(13:54) Alternatives for Naming Men
(15:10) Beta-men Seeing Threat Everywhere & Weapon Obsession
(22:09) The Fake Nice Guys
(24:10) Problem of Indirect Communication
(31:28) Listening to Your Intuition
(46:01) Instincts vs. Culture Norms, Naivety, Assertiveness, Therapeutic Bypassing
(52:33) Supra State, Personality Split for Self-defense
7/2/2020 • 56 minutes, 19 seconds
Clockwork Orange Penguins, Narcissistic Abuse and CPTSD (Q&A)
Cultural conditioning, how society react to feelings and healing, dealing with narcissists, recovery, sovereignty and more.
||Q&A pt. 1||
(00:18) "How do narcissists gain pleasure from causing you pain? Not sure I fully understand the method behind the madness, is it that they gain their 'fix' from being one up on you all the time?"
(06:40) "I can't stop thinking about my borderline ex-girlfriend - can you help?"
(09:12) Managing contact with abusive personality type
(15:26) "How process feelings when our society is against strong feelings?"
(16:00) Recommending the documentary films century of self & power of nightmares
(20:15) "How much do you think the society is hostile to healing?"
(25:23) "How do we get rid ourselves of self-loathing?"
||The Clockwork Orange||
(32:26) What is It About Clockwork Orange?
(35:13) Brainwashing Into Submission
(40:05) We Became Normalized to Traumatic Images
(42:33) Our Culture Fosters Narcissism and CPTSD
||Q&A pt. 2||
(46:08) "How do I deal with my ex narcissist whom I share a child with? (managing contact)
(51:21) "Any advice for parents where ex is a covert narcissist, trying to gray rock as best as possible, but he is damaging my daughter?"
(54:38) "How does an ethical person minimize being targeted for devaluation and refuse to demean other people?"
(58:10) Example of previously mentioned cultural conditioning
(1:00:18) "How does one begin to know what is one's own opinion and what is conditioning?"
(1:03:12) "To what extent are the narcissists aware of their behaviour?"
(1:08:06) Over-fantasising the narcissist
(1:13:43) "What do you study to learn how to help someone who has had traumatic past?"
(1:17:09) Goodbye
7/1/2020 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 35 seconds
Whats in Room 101? (+Q&A)
Self-love affected by abuse, what is going on in the abusive parent's child's head and how that shapes the idea of love?
(00:02) Getting Started
(00:16) What's In Room 101?
(04:33) If Your Parents Didn't Love You, Then You Have No Model For Self-love
(08:33) How Childhood Abuse Works
(12:35) What Does It Mean That God Is Dead?
(17:13) Nietzsche's Quote
Q&A
(20:25) "What's in room 101 for you, Richard? part 1
(25:19) "What's in room 101 for you, Richard? part 2
(30:32) "You're still doing the same job, but it's emotional instead of physical, don't you agree?
(36:24) "My sister and I were tight, but now she has completely turned like my narc mom. How do I deal with this?
(38:39) "I'm still struggling with a definition of self-compassion and all that entails. Can you more clearly define what that means?
(43:16) "I accept my bad choices in men come from upbringing. Where do I go now?
(46:57) "How do I differentiate between intuition and emotional flashbacks? part 1
(52:30) "How do I differentiate between intuition and emotional flashbacks? part 2
(57:42) "How do I differentiate between intuition and emotional flashbacks? part 3
(1:00:17) "Do you have any advice for how to interview a counselor? part 1
(1:06:16) "Do you have any advice for how to interview a counselor? part 2
(1:11:32) "Is dreaming memories the same thing as an emotional flashback?
(1:14:40) "I've stopped thinking about my ex 24/7, but he pops up in my dreams. Do you think this is a good thing like my subconscious is filtering the crap in my brain?
(1:18:22) "I feel like I really love people. Honestly it would not be a big shocker if they just suddenly tried to hurt me or walked out of my life. Is that me really loving them? How can I love them if I have to expect them to betray me?
7/1/2020 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 6 seconds
Answering the Sex Question (Q&A)
Q&A Session around the topic of sexuality of Cluster B personality types
(00:18) Reading The Sex Question From The Forum Part 1
(03:13) Reading The Sex Question From The Forum Part 2
(09:06) Reading The Sex Question From The Forum Part 3
(14:18) Perversion According To Freud
(17:39) Cluster B's Are Obsessed With Breaking Other People's Boundaries And Breaking Social Taboo
(20:21) Sex As Manifestation Of Aggression
(25:11) Reading A Question From The Forum Part 1
(30:10) Reading A Question From The Forum Part 2
(30:58) CPTSD In A Relationship
(36:54) Lack Of Processed Emotions
(39:17) Man Jealous Of Woman's Affection Toward Her Children
(46:14) A Question About Feeling Inferiority After A Relationship With An NPD
(48:48) For Those Who Have CPTSD With Prior Sexual Abuse And Are Doing The Work, Do You Think A Sex Therapist Would Be Of Any Effective Use? Part 1
(53:44) For Those Who Have CPTSD With Prior Sexual Abuse And Are Doing The Work, Do You Think A Sex Therapist Would Be Of Any Effective Use? Part 2
(57:24) Borderline Personality Disorder And Splitting Part 1
(1:02:01) Borderline Personality Disorder And Splitting Part 2
(1:06:29) Can Someone Withhold Something That Is Mine? My Bits And Bobs
(1:09:36) How Do You Become More Streetwise?
(1:10:56) Managing Contact With A Narcissist
(1:16:30) Wrapping Up
7/1/2020 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 40 seconds
Dana Morningstar (Thrive After Abuse) - Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse (a chat +Q&A)
A great talk with Dana Morningstar of Thrive After Abuse on the topic of narcissistic abuse recovery, including Q&A. Dana has her own YouTube channel and a website Thrive After Abuse.
(00:44) Dana's Story
(11:54) Physical Symptoms of Emotional Abuse and Trauma
(14:47) Are We Facing a Narcissism Epidemic?
(20:01) Social Conditioning of Male/female Trauma Processing
(23:00) It's Important We See Behavior, Not Gender
(32:05) Dana Continues Her Story (Parental Influence)
(35:06) Modelling the Self-love We Crave for
(37:29) Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome
Q&A Section
(41:18) "How do we go about making the ruminations stop?"
(45:18) "How long narcissists can hide his narcissism?"
(48:59) The red flags are not seen, they're felt
(51:16) "How can I help in my date's recovery from narcissistic abuse?"
(54:21) "How do you teach a child to go through emotional flashbacks?"
(58:58) "What are your thoughts on how to decrease codependency?"
(1:03:08) "Trauma bonding and how to break it?"
(1:07:52) "Can you talk about NLP and how it helps to move forward?"
(1:10:07) Example use of NLP strategy, NLP is pictures inside your head
(1:12:02) "Is there anything we can do to identify an abusive/toxic person?"
(1:15:39) Emotional starvation pulling us into relationships and fogging our judgment
(1:24:18) "How can I improve my self-esteem after the abuse?"
(1:36:23) On Louise L. Hay, affirmations, positivity
7/1/2020 • 1 hour, 44 minutes, 20 seconds
Can A Narcissist Be Healed?
Can narcissist be healed? Are they aware of what they're doing? Is it a deep-seated character issue, or just bad pattern of behaviour?
(00:14) Full-blown NPD Vs. Display of Narcissistic Traits
(01:56) NPD Functions as a Series of Defensive Mechanisms
(05:35) Projective Identification and Narcissistic Injury
(07:24) Narcissist Cannot Do Horizontal Relationships
(12:41) They Don't Believe There's Anything Wrong With Them
7/1/2020 • 13 minutes, 45 seconds
Get Over Ex Using This Modelling Technique (Break Trauma Bond)
Break Trauma Bond - Modelling Technique To Recondition Mr Lizard
(00:01) Emotional Loading And The One Solution For It Part 1
(04:52) Emotional Loading And The One Solution For It Part 2
(08:48) The Radical Acceptance
(12:50) Why The Emotional Literacy Exercise Is So Important
(15:13) The Perceptual Position That’s Being Adopted Is Faulty And Needs To Be Fixed
(18:39) The Modelling Technique That Might Help
(23:08) Why We Get Stuck In The Story When We’re Traumatized
(26:29) How To Get Yourself Into The Mindset Of A Healed Person
(30:18) Show The Brain How To Do It, Don’t Just Tell
(34:55) Feeling Good Is A Skill And You Need To Develop It
7/1/2020 • 39 minutes, 57 seconds
How to Break The Cycle of Bad Relationships?
No Contact, Repetition Compulsion, being stuck in same old patters of relationships, including examples both from Richard's life, and Pete Walker clients.
(00:36) Abusive Relationship is a Reflection of a Primary Relationship
(01:57) A Cultural Reference Metaphor (Solving the Puzzle of Love)
(05:34) Seeking to Replicate the Relationship
(07:41) Repetition Compulsion
(10:23) Your Parents Are Just People Too
(12:41) Spoiling Children as a Moral Corruption
(13:53) No Contact & Honouring Yourself
(16:54) How Significant Parents Are to Your Subconscious
(19:32) Summary
6/30/2020 • 21 minutes, 9 seconds
How to Use Mindfulness to Heal (properly)
Mindfulness can be a real, effective tool in recovery. This is how to use it in overcoming CPTSD and negative self-talk.
(With assistance of Pete Walker and his book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving")
(00:35) Reading an Excerpt From Pete Walker's Book
(02:00) Mindfulness is a Skill to Develop
(02:43) Pete Walker on Emotional Neglect
(04:10) On Self-talk (Inner Critic) & How Did Richard Dealt With It
(09:32) How Will Mindfulness Heal You
(13:04) What's a "Good Enough" Relationship?
6/30/2020 • 15 minutes, 54 seconds
Are narcissists actually sadists? (Sam Vaknin's perspective)
Is the narcissistic person in my life a sadist?
(01:03) Reading Sam Vaknin on the Topic
(02:24) It's About What Narcissist Get, Not Necessarily How
(04:24) Richard's Personal Example
(05:57) Masochistic Traits
(07:52) Sum Up & Book Mention
6/30/2020 • 9 minutes, 5 seconds
Addicted to the narcissist, empty in his absence, craving a spike
This is an extensive, in-depth answer to a long question, covering the topic of a difficult, toxic relationship
(00:11) Cluster B Personality Types Will Only Let You Feel What They Want You to Feel
(04:11) Loud Silence & Abusive Hooking
(06:39) Overlapping of Traits in Different Diagnosis
(08:30) Combat PTSD, CPTSD and Victims Becoming Abusers
(19:03) Things Are Not Black & White or Single-layered
(25:04) Addiction to Contact With Narcissist
(30:56) Getting Out of the Trap and Moving on With Your Life
(35:10) "How can I best help a loved one to accept compassion?"
(39:53) "How can I stop people from following a cult on YouTube?"
6/30/2020 • 43 minutes, 40 seconds
Are you taking the chocolate?
Is it worth giving up our boundaries in order to receive what we want? What is the alternative?
(00:10) Introduction - Hannibal Lecter Reference
(03:43) The Devil's Pact
(06:15) Vulnerable People Pleasers
(07:49) Victims Defending Their Abusers
(10:16) Parenting
(13:51) What Happens When You Won't Take the Chocolate?
6/30/2020 • 17 minutes, 3 seconds
Healing Narcissistic Abuse Using NLP and Hypnosis?
There are many misconceptions and stigma around both NLP and hypnosis, mostly due to its exploitation by the wrong people. But still, it can be effective tool in your recovery.
(00:10) Where Did the Idea of Using NLP and Hypnosis Came From?
(02:32) The Stigma Around Nlp & Hypnosis
(06:19) The Truth About Hypnosis
(10:26) What's in It for You and How Does It Work
(12:32) About the Course
(18:04) Why NLP Works Part 1
(20:43) Why NLP Works Part 2
6/29/2020 • 25 minutes, 22 seconds
Bateson's "double bind theory of schizophrenia", 1984 psychology of torture, narcisstic abuse
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. What is the Double Bind and how abusive personality types brainwash their victims.
(00:05) Introduction
(01:36) 4 Components of a Double Bind
(03:36) Requirement of a Vital Relationship
(04:54) 1984 Novel Reference
(11:12) How Does It Manifest in Childhood and How Can Lead Even to Schizophrenia
(17:13) Schizophrenia is Not Necessarily Permanent
(20:00) Summary
6/29/2020 • 22 minutes, 30 seconds
Bumping into the Narcissistic Mother, NLP Evil, inner child, misandry around abuse, and more (in-depth Q&A)
This is a fruitful Q&A session covering topics of relationships with narcissists, requirements for healing from trauma, abuse and CPTSD, etc.
(00:16) How do I deal with if I bump into my covert narcissistic mother?
(14:40) How do I start inner child healing work? I am trying to take care of the child but it's very hard.
(15:41) Richard's Story as a Metaphor for Trauma in the Body
(20:36) Mechanics of CPTSD and Prerequisites for Healing
(24:00) the One Absolutely Necessary Thing for Healing
(29:26) Can NLP be used for evil, are there people using it in that way?
(36:05) How do you protect yourself against nlp/psychological manipulation?
(43:16) Your thoughts about TV advert with woman being abusive to man? (misandry in our culture)
(52:43) Can I have a healthy relationship with NPD? (in a nutshell)
(59:11) The Problem With Formulating Questions, Critical Thinking, Self-delusion & Sam Vaknin's Case
(1:11:43) How do I reverse the effects of NLP manipulation?
(1:13:08) My parents met in AA, I felt abandoned by my their recovery, and trapped in their cult
(1:14:11) What is NLP? (surprising answer)
(1:14:48) How does one get rid themselves from feeling tampered with?
(1:17:01) What can I do to love myself? I realized I always avoided intimacy.
(1:18:59) Can two narcissists lovebomb each other and gaslight each other?
(1:20:19) What do you think of the major impacts of masculine identity from the experience of being devalued by narcissistic father?
(1:21:52) How to be aware of the intention of the communication of the people I fear?
(1:23:45) Do you think there are certain types of people who are more likely to fall for the charm of a narcissist?
(1:24:51) Have you read The Truth by Neil Strauss?
6/28/2020 • 1 hour, 26 minutes, 58 seconds
5 Lies The Narcissist Wants You To Believe
(00:10) #1 Omnipotency
(04:15) #2 Timelessness
(06:18) #3 Invoking Powerlessness
(08:02) #4 Facade of specialness and uniqueness
(09:00) #5 Kindness and "strategic helping"
(10:13) How to deal with this?
(10:51) Truth #1 They are the same human as you
(13:39) #2 Everything is temporary, so are they
(15:44) #3 You have the power and other options
(17:55) #4 Question their specialness
(21:50) #5 Question philanthropy and see through posturing
6/28/2020 • 25 minutes, 14 seconds
Do These 3 Things Instead of Trying to Make Yourself Happy
Do these 3 things instead of trying to make yourself happy
(00:01) Pursuing happiness is a trap
(00:52) #1 Why productivity can make you happy?
(04:02) #2 Escape self-isolation, enjoy contributing to the tribe
(07:51) #3 Optimism is a choice & functional state management
6/27/2020 • 12 minutes, 59 seconds
The Zombie Witchdoctors of Narcissistic Abuse
The Zombie Witchdoctor is a name given to the worst of the worst narcissistic personality types that are co-morbid with borderline and antisocial type personality disorder.
(00:03) Introduction, the Dark Triad Components
(01:13) Etymology and Mythology of a "Zombie"
(04:05) an Example Richard Encountered
(05:37) How a Zombie Witch Doctor Choses a Victim & What is Their Goal
(12:01) BPD/NPD as a Mask
(14:29) Summary
6/27/2020 • 15 minutes, 5 seconds
How to Treat Toxic Shame (2 ways)
Toxic Shame is a result of trauma and one of main symptoms of CPTSD, and it can be cured over time.
(00:09) Introduction
(02:02) Healing Toxic Shame - Compassionate dialogue and externalisation
(03:21) Journaling exercise
(04:08) Internal parts dialogue exercise
(06:03) Summary
6/27/2020 • 7 minutes, 13 seconds
Critical Thinking To Cut Through The BS
(00:01) What is Critical Thinking? Part 1
(02:20) Having the Value of Disciplined and Clear Thinking
(06:52) Sane Vs Insane
(08:49) Being Good at Arguing
(12:00) The Value of Vulnerability
(15:48) What is Critical Thinking? Part 2
(18:30) The Way Critical Thinking Helps in a Mental Health Context
(23:33) Combination of Skills That Critical Thinking Includes Part 1
(25:37) The Epidemic of Narcissism
(29:27) Lack of Critical Thinking
(33:42) The Importance of Humility
(36:25) Combination of Skills That Critical Thinking Includes Part 2
(42:28) You See What You Want to See
(47:06) Narc Are Only Interested in the Parts of You That Fit Their Image of You
(50:24) Cognitive Biases That Prevent From Critical Thinking Part 1
(54:54) Cognitive Biases That Prevent From Critical Thinking Part 2
(56:37) What is a Strawman?
(1:01:50) The Idea of Game of Trolls
(1:05:14) How Do I Know What This Person is Saying is True? Part 1
(1:09:56) How Do I Know What This Person is Saying is True? Part 2
(1:13:40) Reality Checking
(1:15:12) Responding to Comments
(1:17:44) "How do you feel you do with intimacy these days?"
(1:19:35) What Critical Thinking Allows You to Do
(1:21:28) "Can you do a video about the effects of narcissistic abuse on executive functioning?"
(1:23:02) "Is reality TV to blame for the outbreak of narcissism in culture?"
(1:25:47) "I recently gave up drugs and other addictions and started to meditate. Still, it's hard to sift through BS. Any thoughts?"
(1:28:59) Critical Thinking to Help You Deal With Complicated Emotions Part 1
(1:34:44) Critical Thinking to Help You Deal With Complicated Emotions Part 2
(1:36:07) Confusing Emotional Flashbacks With Legitimate Emotions
(1:40:06) "What can I do with denial?"
(1:45:39) "Planet Narco is the Holodeck From Star Trek"
(1:47:57) Answering the Last Questions
6/27/2020 • 1 hour, 53 minutes, 17 seconds
What Are PTSD/CPTSD Flashbacks and How They Can Mess Up the Therapy
What is PTSD and what are the differences with CPTSD? What are flashbacks and how do they work? Why the client tries to be disliked by a therapist and what to do about it?
(00:16) CPTSD vs. PTSD
(02:46) How Does Flashbacks Work and How They Form
(06:32) The Nature of Emotional Flashbacks
(08:54) The Flashback's Voice in Your Head
(12:42) Problems It Causes in Therapy, S.E.T. Model for Helping the Client
(18:55) Importance of Mindfulness
6/26/2020 • 21 minutes, 36 seconds
How Do I Overcome People Pleaser Syndrome?
(00:16) Become Very Aware of You Displaying the Traits
(00:45) The Spartan Life Coaching Way & the Ineffectiveness of Traditional Therapy
(02:56) Dangers of Negative Hypnosis & Practising Good Things Instead
6/26/2020 • 6 minutes, 32 seconds
Teaching Girls How to Get Guys (How to Meet New People)
You can learn to be more extroverted and get rid of shyness, here's how.
(00:01) Introduction
(01:25) Dismantling the Problem of Shyness
(02:26) Training Your Extraversion
(05:55) Warming Up Your Social Skills & Talking to People More Generally
(09:45) Learn State Management
(12:09) Where to Meet Them?
(14:32) What to Say? Observing the Environment and Observational Comedy
(17:36) Summing Up
(17:53) The Downsides of Putting Someone on a Pedestal
(20:03) Element of Social Proof
(20:54) You Need to Build a Rapport
(23:00) Pattern Interrupt & Dealing With Discomfort
(24:29) Assume That the Interaction Will Go Really Really Well
(27:10) Book Recommendations
6/25/2020 • 28 minutes, 58 seconds
This Will Make You Use Affirmations Correctly While Having CPTSD (with Q&A)
For people with CPTSD using affirmations is a bit different - use these tricks and techniques to effectively change how you feel just by talking to yourself. It's as easy as that.
(00:05) Introduction
(01:23) Affirmations as Self-hypnosis & Command vs. Suggestion
(06:14) Framing Suggestions
(08:52) Milton Model for Post-hypnotic Suggestions
(10:40) Mind Reading
(13:54) Lost Performative & Political Speech
(18:31) Presuppositions & Assumptions
(22:35) Don't Freak Out About the Idea of Hypnosis and Trance
(25:58) On Critical Thinking
(30:15) A Note About the Course
Q&A Section
(33:52) "How do we unlearn feeling overly responsible for the feelings of others if we spent our whole lives emotionally parenting our parents?"
(38:56) "Did you eventually forgive your dad, and if so did you use affirmations?"
(43:32) "How important is journaling in recovery?"
(45:35) "I am still struggling with my narcissist ex-husband, any advice on how to grey rock when co-parenting?"
(46:57) "Do you feel that our own individual personalities are innate, or do we have to create our own after living as a projection of others?"
(48:37) "Can affirmations help in overcoming emetophobia? In my case specifically the fear of being angry?"
(50:30) Have Your Affirmations Aligned With Your Core Values
(53:29) "What do I really want?" Career path and purpose in life
(1:00:21) "What are your thoughts on using subliminal messaging to bypass the conscious mind?"
(1:01:41) "Are there any affirmations one can use when catastrophizing during injury or illness?"
(1:03:59) Goodbye
6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 23 seconds
Passive-aggressive Fake Concern to Insult You (Concern Trolls) [Q&A] w/ Amazing Polly
(00:16) Amazing Polly's bit on "Concern Trolls"
(03:00) That's sounds so polite, but what are they really saying?
(08:36) Q&A Section
(10:47) Can you mistake the actions of an alcoholic for a narcissist?
(11:39) If you notice that kind of communication in a personal situation, what's the best way to respond?
(14:33) How can you stop being covertly narcissistic?
(16:03) What are the warning signs a person might have BPD?
(17:02) How do you deal with abandonment issues as an adult? When both parents have abandoned you how can you love yourself?
(19:06) Is it wise to tell my grandma off for being emotionally abusive when she's just gonna die soon anyways?
(20:03) How to help an 11 year old go through his emotions, with his narc dad?
(21:31) What can we do to deal with having to spend Christmas with toxic people who target us?
(23:06) Don't you believe in Empaths?
(25:14) Can you be too strict when setting boundaries?
(26:33) Is it in any way possible to try to mend relationships with toxic family members just for your own peace of mind?
(27:48) Do you believe BPD can be 'cured'?
(32:25) Can a covert narcissist go between acting covert to acting malignant?
(33:53) If you ask directly what you want and the result is physical abuse?
(36:33) What happened to the Pete Walker interview you mentioned in one of your early videos?
(37:35) Why do narcs try and convince their victims that they're the ones who are abusive, not the narc?
(40:01) Do you appreciate that it's possible that we attract by vibration our situation? (Law of Attraction)
(53:30) Do you think people with NPD are perhaps prone to abusing animals?
6/25/2020 • 54 minutes, 25 seconds
Psychotherapy horror stories w/ Richard Grannon
(00:16) Psychotherapy is an Art
(06:06) Story of a Bad Example of Trauma Processing
(09:00) Referencing Century of Self, Dangers of Trauma-bonding in Therapy
(14:00) MBTI Personality Test and the Problem With It
(17:41) Richard's Story About Scientologists Using MBTI Tests for Their Sales
(20:58) Personality is Never in the Genetics
(23:38) Psychotherapist Using Reframing Badly
(26:11) Psychotherapist Gaslighting Client About Projection
6/24/2020 • 29 minutes, 14 seconds
Confronting Narcissists Directly Has Explosive Results
How narcissists see themselves as a character in a movie (which is one of the reason why you should not directly confront their issues), examples of their behaviour, and reasons behind that.
6/24/2020 • 11 minutes, 16 seconds
How I Overcame Narcissistic Abuse
(01:01) That Problem is Complicated Because You Are a Part of It (The Modern Slavery)
(06:34) The "Red Pill Reality" and Blue-pilling Yourself
(08:58) Impact of Stories, Metaphors and Memories
(13:27) We've Been Trying to Process Human Narcissism for a Long Time
(17:26) The Adult Software Upgrades a Person Needs
(19:50) You Need Many Revelations to Fully Develop and Heal
(23:05) You Want a Gritty Elevation of Consciousness
(24:05) Revealers and Kāfirs, Knowing and Denying the Truth, the Sun That Heals
(30:43) About the Courses
Find the courses mentioned at:
www.spartanlifecoach.com
6/9/2020 • 32 minutes, 15 seconds
How To Interpret Narcissistic Behaviour
Inside the mind of a narcissist - how to understand their logic and their behaviour?
(00:06) Introduction
(02:06) How Do Narcissists Operate (Acting, Agenda, Power Obsession)
(05:06) It's Difficult if You're People Pleaser
(07:16) Example of Malignant Narc Case
(10:19) You Have to Be Cunning!
(12:59) Recap
6/8/2020 • 14 minutes, 29 seconds
How to Overcome People Pleaser Syndrome and Self-assert Yourself
These are the key principles to become a more boundaried person
(00:02) Topic Introduction
(02:09) These Traits Are the Root Cause of Being Targeted by Abusers
(04:49) More on the Traits (and How They Become Unconscious Rules)
(05:30) Naivety
(08:34) Excessive Conscientiousness
(12:28) Addiction to Approval to Others
(15:56) How to Overcome People Pleaser Syndrome?
(17:48) Self-assertivness & Setting Boundaries
(20:28) Psychical Conflict vs. Verbal Conflict
(23:32) Discussing the Course
6/8/2020 • 30 minutes, 17 seconds
These 15 Traits May Indicate You Have a People Pleaser Syndrome
(00:02) Introduction & disclaimer
(01:35) #1 Emotophobia
(02:51) #2 Neurotic Naivety
(04:24) #3 Desire to be liked
(05:06) #4 External locus of control
(05:51) #5 Inability to say "no"
(07:08) #7 Blurry sense of self
(08:06) #8 Emotional dependency
(09:42) #9 Low confidence, self-esteem & boundaries
(10:46) #10 Overintelectualization
(11:30) #11 Addiction to approval
(11:51) #12 Immaturity
(13:05) #13 Excessive altruism, responsibility & compassion
(13:33) #14 Loneliness & isolation
(13:46) #15 Being excessively impressionable
(14:10) Goodbye
Find the courses and/or coaching mentioned at:
www.spartanlifecoach.com
6/8/2020 • 14 minutes, 26 seconds
How Covert Narcissists Use Word Salad as a Tactic
How narcissists confuse and derail a conversation, the differences between overt and covert narcissism
(0:00) The Difference Between Overt And Covert Narcissism Part 1
(4:50) The Difference Between Overt And Covert Narcissism Part 2
(7:39) "I Would Never Do That"
(9:48) What Is "Word Salad"?
(11:04) The Advantages For Using Word Salad For Covert Narcissists Part 1
(15:43) The Advantages For Using Word Salad For Covert Narcissists Part 2
(20:02) Why Covert Narcissism Is Much Worse Than Overt Narcissism
(23:23) Goodbye
6/8/2020 • 23 minutes, 28 seconds
Do THIS if You Want to Heal Faster and Let Go
How to let go of bad baggage and heal?
(01:06) Resistance to Feelings Stemming From Social Conditioning
(07:43) Results of Repressed Emotions
(11:04) Coming Back to What We Feel
(19:00) Benefits of Healing
(23:47) There is No Way Out but Through (But It's Not That Bad)
(26:27) Describing the Feelings
(32:22) Judging the Emotions
(36:17) Feeling What is = Reality, Not Feeling = Out of Reality
(38:50) Summary
6/7/2020 • 42 minutes, 13 seconds
Recover from CPTSD and break the zombie witch doctor's spell over you (with Q&A)
Dealing with flashbacks and healing from CPTSD
(0:00) Getting Started
(1:20) Acknowledging That You Are In An Emotional Flashback
(05:23) Reading And Commenting On A Piece From Layla Lorex's Book On Overcoming CPTSD Part 1
(10:29) CPTSD and BPD
(14:00) Reading And Commenting On A Piece From Layla Lorex's Book On Overcoming CPTSD Part 2
(19:12) Fundamentally Changing The Philosophy Of Life To Overcome CPTSD
(23:05) How Abusers Target And Pull The Emotional Wounds Of Their Victims
(25:59) The First Thing To Do Is To Educate Yourself About CPTSD And Emotional Flashbacks
(30:51) Just Knowing You're In An Emotional Flashback Can Help
Q&A Section
(35:24) "Is isolation following the Buddhist path of detachment?"
(39:42) "Do you have any thoughts on depersonalization disorder?"
(41:11) "How can you tell the difference between suppressing feelings and making progress in regards to emotional flashbacks?"
(44:06) "Have you got any tips on how to overcome self-abandoning?"
(47:23) "Can you give me tips on how not to cry when I'm upset?"
(49:29) "I did have a wonderful upbringing but still fell for a covert narc..."
(51:32) "How do you not suppress your feelings after you've been trained to do so all your life?"
(53:14) "How do you learn to cope with the emotional flashback when you absolutely cannot go no contact?"
(56:44) "My ex zombie witch doctor is now dating someone else. Is it common for them to move on quickly and maintain a healthy relationship?"
(58:41) "Currently looking for a job. Is there anything I can do to help with fading out during interviews?"
(1:03:41) "Do you know why some flashbacks last days and some are very transitory like five minutes?"
(1:07:35) "I'm so worried that I wouldn't be able to manage a new job because of my CPTSD. How can I stop worrying?"
(1:08:48) "Does EMDR work for CPTSDas well as PTSD?"
(1:12:56) Responding To Comments
(1:15:50) Examples Of Odd And Off-putting Behaviour
(1:18:53) Listening To Judy's Story
(1:23:29) Answering A Question About Self-hypnosis Drills
(1:25:04) Answering A Question About Anger As An Emotional Flashback
(1:29:35) Triggering Yourself Into An Emotional Flashback
(1:34:32) Dealing With The Abstract Things That Trigger You
6/7/2020 • 1 hour, 39 minutes, 58 seconds
3 Mind Games Narcissists Love to Play To Torture Their Targets
(00:24) Propagandization & Changing the Perception
(02:08) Note on Reaction-seeking Social Media Use
(03:43) No Sincere Communication, Reaction Seeking & Reverse of Truth
(07:51) Punishment for Speaking the Truth
(10:45) Isolation and Control
6/7/2020 • 11 minutes, 35 seconds
How to deal with a narcissist trying to come back into our life?
Narcissists re-idealization of old sources of supply based on Sam Vaknin video
(00:04) Introducing the Topic
(01:43) Narcissist's Re-idealizaton
(05:01) A Strategy to Brush Off Narcissist Coming Back
(09:19) Get Over the Narcissist & the Buzz You Get
(12:09) Don't Romanticize the Narcissist
6/7/2020 • 14 minutes, 32 seconds
Narcissism? Or Asperger Syndrome?
What are the similarities and differences between Asperger Syndrome and Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
(00:19) Short Explanation of Asperger Syndrome
(02:17) Asperger vs. Narcissism
(05:42) Is He a Narcissist? Or Perhaps Asperger?
(06:26) Common Problems With Person Suffering Asperger Syndrome
(08:29) Richard Describing an Example of Asperger Person
(11:00) Asperger's Challenges in Relationship
(13:33) Wrapping Up
(16:04) Richard's Personal Experience
(17:57) Goodbye
6/6/2020 • 18 minutes, 35 seconds
The One Question You Need To Determine If A Narcissist Is A Narcissist
This question is based on the premise that narcissists believe they are fundamentally perfect. Using it is an easy way to test them. Checking their reaction to certain emotional films can also be a good idea.
6/6/2020 • 5 minutes, 19 seconds
What Is Sexual Narcissism (Narcissism And Sexuality) [with Q&A]
Are narcissists hypersexual or hyposexual and why, do they feel sexual attraction, how they manipulate and abuse their sexual partner, how to recover and more
(00:01) Starting the Topic
(01:04) Reading a Piece About Uniqueness and Intimacy in Cluster B Relationships
(12:00) The Root Cause of Narcissist's Problem With Relationships
(17:24) "Does being raised by narcissists effects individuals sexuality or is sexuality innate to his personality?"
(20:20) "Please explain sexual attraction"
(21:28) "Are narcissists mostly hyperactive or hypoactive sexually, are to what extent they are likely to be unfaithful in marriage?"
(23:44) Somatic and cerebral narcissist
(27:35) They Will Be Anyone or Anything Just to Get Your Reaction and Take Over You
(33:44) Slavoj Žižek reference and the matrix analogy
(37:32) "How to become normal again after being spoiled sexually?"
(41:06) Get a handle of your sexuality
(46:56) "What can be done to heal emotional wounds affecting intimacy in marriage?"
(48:11) Promiscuity
(51:45) "How do we move forward after NPD relationship?"
(54:30) "If a narc who perfected their bedroom act goes on a dating website is it for more sex or to devalue their partner?" (narcissist's cheating)
(1:03:21) "What happens when narcissist game suddenly stops working?"
(1:06:40) Male and female sexuality differences and cultural impact on it
(1:12:18) "How can I help my children not to fall into the same pattern as their narcissistic father?"
(1:14:01) "Is it common that narcissist uses triangulation to try to regulate your sexual behaviour?"
(1:16:10) "Is it possible for narc to make his girlfriend look hot in order to punish her for that?"
(1:17:56) "I prefer woman giving me compliments, I don't feel strong sexual urge, why?"
(1:21:05) "Before I met him I had precognitive dream with a warning in it, have you heard about such things?"
(1:22:38) "I realized a lot of my friends are narcs, help"
(1:25:18) "Can narcissist can be both cerebral and somatic?"
(1:28:27) "Why is it so difficult to find good sex?"
(1:32:17) "Do you think there will be a cure for my NPD?"
(1:35:45) "What is the connection between covert narcissism and obsessive hoarding of pornographic images?"
(1:40:28) Boundary breaking of Cluster B
(1:47:53) Goodbye
6/6/2020 • 1 hour, 48 minutes, 4 seconds
Knowing These 10 Red Flags Will Make You Safe Against Narcissist
Know if you are vulnerable and prone to abusive relationships and don't get fooled again
(00:22) Questions You Need to Ask Yourself
(00:56) Check the People Pleaser Traits
(02:45) What Do You Believe About Love to Be True?
(03:33) The Red Flags for Abusers
(04:02) #1 is Their Communication Confusing?
(04:39) #2 Are They Too Good to Be True?
(05:03) #3 Are They Preoccupied With a Fantasy of Who They Are?
(05:21) #4 Reframing (Gaslighting)
(06:55) #5 Crappy Gifts
(08:28) #6 Going Too Deep Too Soon
(09:35) #7 Negativity and Criticism
(10:00) #8 Lack of Respect of Boundaries
(10:45) #9 Never Wrong, Never Sorry
(11:28) #10 Lack of Compassion
(12:53) How Can You Save Yourself?
6/6/2020 • 14 minutes, 48 seconds
How to Take Revenge On A Narcissist
(01:25) Actively Engage in Reframe, Become a Predator
(04:06) What is Your Objective? (Spectrum of Force)
(08:11) Sending a Narcissist Into a Meltdown by Denying His Idealized Self
(11:00) Withdrawing Your Attention
(12:46) You Can Learn From Narcissistic Mechanics in Society and Politics
(16:06) Seeing the True, Fragile Self of a Narcissistic Person
(21:40) Back to Reality & Morality
(27:44) I Do Not Consent to This (Non Serviam)
(31:00) Personal Responsibility
(32:24) The Most Unexpected Way to Take Revenge
(36:18) Goodbye
(00:06) #1 Get some objectivity
(01:35) #2 Use 3rd person perspective
(03:24) #3 "What is the purpose of this communication?"
(05:07) Be careful not to overuse "The Narcissist" label
(07:03) #4 "Does this interaction have the classical hallmarks of Cluster B?"
(10:10) #5 See if you perceive the interaction differently when the flashback has passed
(11:05) #6 Look for consistency over time of abusiveness
(13:18) #7 If you're asking the question and doing the research, it's probable that you're facing Cluster B abuse
6/5/2020 • 15 minutes, 51 seconds
How Do I Overcome a Desire to Be Parented in a Relationship?
This is inspired by a question "How do I overcome a desire to be parented (protected, claimed and loved) in a relationship?"
Why relationships are not and don't have to be white clean, culturally appropriate, free from trauma? Aren't politically correct relationships a dead end?
6/5/2020 • 11 minutes, 55 seconds
The Fastest, Easiest Test for Narcissism Up to Date (The Smiling No Test)
This will make you confident in your ability to detect narcissists
(0:00) Exploitativeness And Entitlement As The More Dangerous Traits Of A Narcissist
(3:34) There Must Be An Invasion Of Your Boundary
(7:49) The Fastest No Test
(12:20) You Saying No Shouldn't Cause A Negative Emotional Reaction In Any Normal Person
(14:25) Narcissists Will Frequently Covertly Coerce You Into Giving Way More Of Your Time And Attention Than They Deserve
(18:44) Over Assumption Of Intimacy Is Also A Boundary Break
(21:18) Wrapping Up
6/5/2020 • 23 minutes, 57 seconds
How Covert Narcissists Brain Wash Their Victims
How covert narcissistic abusers disguise their wrongdoing?
(00:35) The Problem That Covert Operations Create
(02:24) Brainwashing Creating Confusion
(04:52) Covert Narcissism is Corroding the Sanity
(08:50) How Can You Overcome That?
6/5/2020 • 9 minutes, 47 seconds
Why Your Family Hates You (8 Steps to Coping with Scape/Goating/Mobbing/Narcissism/Projection)
(00:30) The Ugly Truth
(01:14) Your Family Doesn't Want What's Best for You
(02:27) Most Families Are Sick and That's Normal
(03:20) Family as a System & Scapegoating
(04:46) Tribalism
(05:30) Can You Stop It?
(06:49) Your Problem is Normal & You Can Find Support
(07:15) Forgive Yourself and Others
(08:19) Expand Your Understanding
6/5/2020 • 10 minutes, 15 seconds
Guidance into Meditative states for people who find meditation tricky
Some people don't like meditating and find it hard, stressful or frustrating.
This method works well and you dont need to be all serious and weird about it.
Anyone can do it and you can get great results quickly too, your body and brain want to go into that quiet state for a bit, feels good.
(0:10) Preparation
(0:57) Guidance
(17:00) Coming back and a sum up
6/5/2020 • 20 minutes, 47 seconds
Narcissistic Mothers - "the golden child and the black sheep"
(00:24) Splitting Between the Golden Child and the Black Sheep
(03:17) Can Narcissism Be Helpful? Narcissistic Traits vs. The Narcissist
(07:25) Reframing Used by Narcissists
(11:37) Double-bind and Owning Your Perception
(14:38) Be Careful About Showing Weakness
(16:53) Withdraw From Relation
6/5/2020 • 21 minutes, 10 seconds
How to REALLY self-care
Yin and Yang of self-care, importance of consistent action over time, how self-discipline can be both compassionate and assertive.
(With background music)
6/4/2020 • 10 minutes, 24 seconds
3 facts everyone is getting WRONG about Codependency!
Codependency is NOT what some people say it is
(0:11) #1 False Dichotomy
(1:44) #2 False Virtuousness
(4:09) #3 No Codependency Without CPTSD
(6:04) Recap
(8:33) Toxic Codependency Fake-gurus
(9:42) Codependent Manipulation
(14:09) Self-sacrifice as Manifestation of Trauma, Slave Mentality
6/4/2020 • 16 minutes, 37 seconds
How to Start Getting Better Instantly (fix CPTSD)
Do you want to heal from CPTSD? Do you?
A wake up call in healing CPTSD, quick inspiration and a reminder of importance of the intention
(0:02) Don't Be Riddled With CPTSD
(0:25) People Like Us Can't Just Jellyfish Through Life
(2:30) Do You Need to Be Medical Professional to Cure People?
(3:20) Nobody Can Save You. But You Can!
(5:42) Do It or Don't Do It (There is No Try)
(7:25) From Codependency to Sovereignty
(8:50) You're Not Broken, Just Take Action
6/4/2020 • 9 minutes, 45 seconds
One Key Element to Healing From Pain/Grief/Loss
How to heal from pain and grief, embrace emotions, experience your feelings, therapeutic journaling, need for connection, self-compassion
(00:04) What is It About?
(04:44) Isolation
(09:05) Pain is Okay
(14:25) If You Keep Concentration on the Issue is It Danger to Reinforcing This?
(19:41) Drill Down the Emotions
(25:05) Why You Need to Improve Your Emotional Literacy?
(29:49) Why You Have No Memories From Your Childhood
6/4/2020 • 38 minutes, 44 seconds
How to prepare for intimate relationshp
What happens when you fall in love? Why is it challenging? How relationships help us grow?
(00:39) "I Want to Be in Love"
(05:08) Relationship Needs Maintenance
(10:31) You Get Crazier
(16:02) Right Questions
(19:19) Love Deficit
Q&A Section
(21:30) "To follow a religion is moving back then?"
(22:35) "What do you think love is?"
(22:48) "Are you still going to be doing retreats in the future... And if so where?"
(23:24) "Our mental health and upbringing is also being post idealized in how it should have looked. Everything falls short. Any thoughts?"
(24:01) "So we must find peace with our needy love deprived monster?"
(26:10) "Is love then, to be more pragmatic than romantic, like arranged marriages?"
6/3/2020 • 29 minutes, 34 seconds
How to Break The Trauma Bond (Get Over Your Relationship With a Narcissist)
There is a lot to breaking the trauma bond but if you understand the key principles and work on some key attributes you will be well on your way!
(00:01) Stating Today's Topic
(01:47) What Does It Mean to Be Trauma Bonded?
(04:06) How Can You Break the Trauma Bond?
(08:46) You Have to Regularly Acknowledge How You Feel
(14:41) You Have to Move Away From the Story
(15:37) Why You Need to Heal Your CPTSD Part 1
(20:09) Why You Need to Heal Your CPTSD Part 2
(21:22) If You Do the Work, You'll Have Your Results
(24:35) Wrapping Up
6/3/2020 • 26 minutes, 16 seconds
Enlightenment and Overcoming Codependency
Reflections about enlightenment and it's connection to codependency
(00:01) Stating Tonight’s Topic
(02:58) Richard Shared His Thoughts on Enlightenment and Awakening
(06:55) Richard Talks About His Experience With Enlightenment
(12:14) What is Enlightenment Really?
(16:32) Connection Between Enlightenment and Codependency
(20:47) Seeking to Ease Someone’s Pain to Ease Our Own, and Why It Shouldn’t Be That Way
(25:06) Answering Short Questions
(26:49) Is There a Cure for Codependency?
(30:24) Can You Induce Codependency in Yourself?
(31:33) How to Stop Beating Yourself Up for Being Single
(34:10) Is It Arrogant to Expect Infinite and Unconditional Love From Parents?
(36:17) Talking About the Upcoming Seminar
(41:36) Can Love Work for Two People With Codependency Issues?
(43:35) How to Regain Trust in Your Own Judgment Through the Healing Process
(47:40) Goodbye
6/3/2020 • 47 minutes, 55 seconds
Parental Love/Disdain and its impact on CPTSD (with Q&A) by Richard Grannon
Richard Grannon on how parenting impacted our subconscious and shaped our personality + what can be done about it
(00:01) Hello
(04:07) Be the Child Again to Think About It
(08:58) We Are the Apex Predators on This Planet. Why?
(13:02) Radical Acceptance
(17:27) You Need to Fight to Get That Brainwashing Undone
(21:37) The Best Indication of What Your Next Five Years is Going to Look Like
Q&A Section
(27:01) "You Are Spartan Life Coach Man, You Feel Sad and Angry?"
(31:03) "Please can you go through any more emotional literacy exercises that specifically help the codependent/empath?"
(35:02) "How do you connect with the self-sabotaging part that needs healing after the acceptance?"
(39:16) "My mother passed 3 months ago and the narcissistic father is living and confused I see, what to do?"
(42:07) Stop Emotional Flashback Technique
(52:25) "How do I improve communication with others and increase social intelligence?"
6/3/2020 • 57 minutes, 17 seconds
Street self-defence psychology, “Supra State” and 4f trauma response
Richard shares his experiences and wisdom from teaching self-defense and how it relates to human psychology.
"Sad Baby" as an Abused Archetype follow-up: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7kvAiZTeJVgT3DPBPAN2Ay
(05:30) Supra State as a mean to neutralize the threat
(09:00) Being civilized vs. aggressively defending yourself
(11:40) It's possible to unlock animal in you
(12:35) How it all connects to trauma responses
(14:16) Switching between stress responses
(15:18) "Sad Baby" as a widespread personality split
6/2/2020 • 16 minutes, 40 seconds
How To FORGIVE Someone & LET GO Of Your Past (Letting Go Of Anger, Rage & Hatred)
Why we need to forgive in order to heal, how forgiveness is acceptance, how the abuse we suffered can make us better humans, how to deal with rage, hatred and violence plus Q&A relevant to the topic
(00:51) Forgiveness
(01:55) You'll Never Heal Holding Hate
(03:46) Forgiveness is Acceptance
(04:55) A Mantra for Reclaiming Your Crown
(05:53) Courage
(06:26) Broadening the Philosophical Map
(09:15) What is Hell
(10:38) Only You Can Save You
(11:22) How do you deal with feelings of hatred, rage and revenge towards a toxic person who is no longer in your life?
(13:03) Rage and Hatred is Our Heritage
(14:39) Violence as a Part of Human Life
(15:38) Evolving Beyond Hatred
(17:24) How do you forgive yourself for falling for hoovers and giving the narcissist second chances?
(18:32) How did you deal with the loneliness, isolation and cognitive dissonance of knowing that your partner was emotionally and psychologically abusive, while in the outside world they were respected?
(20:20) How do I deal with people who don't want to understand that change is happening now that will and should have long-lasting effect on our lives?
(21:48) What is the role or use of situationally correct anger in the healing process?
(23:59) Is there a way you can recommend breaking off relationships with a parent? My fear is destroying her, but I am aware that her in my life she was destroying me
(27:02) Is It Ever Okay to Destroy Your Parent?
(31:56) Referring to COVID-19 Situation
(34:33) --Live Q&A--
(35:10) "I've witnessed a woman having her purse snatched from her and I froze, not knowing what should be done. How does one overcome the shame of not knowing what to do there?"
(37:37) "Do you think there is a rise in passive aggressive people and how do I deal with them when I would rather be outwardly aggressive, cause it's more honest?"
(38:41) "What was your experience with "demons/jinns" in a psychedelic trip?"
(39:29) "Can seeing an opposite sex therapist heal one's issues with the opposite sex parent?"
(40:45) "If you could use a more human term to describe "narcissism" what would it be? Are these people stuck in a frozen stress response?"
(41:51) "How do I stand up for myself, without e feeling like I'm being perceived as a bitch, and be a leader without being seen as controlling or bossy?"
(44:32) "Over narc is obvious and red flags go up right from the start, what are some early signs of a covert?"
(45:01) "When is working on yourself enough?"
(45:16) "Is guilt the ego last resort?"
(46:49) "Do narcs start arguments more when they see you are in a good mood? Do they realize what they are doing or is it unconscious? Do narcs start arguments more when they see you are in a good mood? Do they realise what they are doing or is it unconscious?"
(48:02) "How Would Richard Heal a Narcissistic Personality Disorder "
(55:26) "Can NPD be cured with spirituality? "
(56:49) "How do I self-reflect on how I may have changed as a result of toxic relationship so that I am not dysfunctional afterwards and can repair my other relationships that have been damaged?"
(58:23) "How do codependents know when info-gathering on narcissistic abuse has become avoidance?"
(1:01:34) "Do you think the psyche is 'mechanically' coherent, or is it's 'goalposts' moving day to day and you can never figure out its mechanics?"
(1:07:18) "When's your book coming out?"
(1:08:34) Goodbye and recap
6/2/2020 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 29 seconds
My Ayahuasca experience (charlatans, twats and narcissists)
Why Ayahuasca ceremonies can be dangerous, who attends them and who provides them, what can Ayahuasca do for you and what were some Richard's personal visions and insights
(00:06) Disclaimer
(03:10) Beginning of the Story
(07:10) Spiritual Capitalism at It's Finest
(12:35) Childhood Trauma and Ayahuasca Ceremony
(18:42) Richard's Visions and Chat With Aya - Part 1
(25:36) Richard's Visions and Chat With Aya - Part 2
(27:18) Ayahuasca's Recipe for Pain and Suffering
(28:50) Cows Are Living Beings
(31:07) There is No "So That"
(34:36) Down to Earth
(35:36) Would You Recommend Ayahuasca?
(40:54) There is No Shortcut to Spiritual Growth
(44:19) Warning Against Frauds and Twats
(48:20) What is the Alternative? Spiritual Growth Exercise
(52:10) Processing the Pain is Key
(57:04) Goodbye
6/2/2020 • 58 minutes, 30 seconds
How to make a complaint PROPERLY
For a codependent, making complaints can sometimes be difficult, but there are a few things you can do now to make it easier
(0:01) Disclaimer for the Audience
(0:18) Be Your Own Bodyguard
(3:20) Being an Objective Solicitor
(8:05) Check-in Your Emotions
(9:30) Politeness and Business Language
(10:21) Logical Fallacies
(12:52) Richard's Example of Complaint
(14:30) Framing the Interaction
(22:00) Self-pity as a Self-indulgence
(26:10) Richard's Short Story About His Recovery
(31:00) You Have a Right Not to Like Something
(33:20) Stop Smiling (Toxic Fawning)
6/2/2020 • 39 minutes, 45 seconds
DIVORCING THE NARCISSIST - Full Seminar (Sam Vaknin, Sara Davison, Richard Grannon)
This is a recording of a full seminar dedicated to the topic of divorcing a narcissistic partner, held by three experts - Sam Vaknin, Sara Davison and Richard Grannon.
(00:01) Introduction to the Seminar
(05:33) The Beginning of Sara Davison’s Section: Personal Story
(08:15) The Emotions of a Heartbreak and the Hamster Wheel Questions
(11:32) Divorce Can Be a Great Opportunity if You Decide to Take It
(14:06) Divorce Statistics and the Reasons of Divorce
(15:20) The Stages of Divorce
(20:34) How to Take Control Over Your Life Whilst Going Through the Stages
(24:34) Key 1. Take Responsibility
(26:30) Key 2. Get Clarity
(27:58) Key 3. Take Back Your Control
(29:32) Key 4. Focus on Moving Forward Positively
(33:00) Managing Conflict With Your Ex
(35:59) Quality Question
(38:13) The “Flip It” Technique and the Small Steps
(41:44) Less Bridget Jones and More Sex and the City James Bond
(44:47) Be a Role Model
(46:51) Let Go
(48:56) The Beginning of Richard Grannon’s Section
(51:41) The Codependence is Rooted in the Formative Years
(54:48) You Will Have to Redefine Love to Recover (an Exercise)
(57:36) Reformulating Your Boundaries and Embracing Your Shadow Self
(1:01:48) The Idea That a Codependent Has No Control is Venomous
(1:03:26) The Formation of a Narcissist/psychopath/predator in Brief
(1:07:42) The Trauma Bonding Effect
(1:12:28) Divorcing From Your Internal Avatar of That Person and Coming Out of the Story
(1:15:53) Answering Questions
(1:18:33) The Beginning of Sam Vaknin’s Section
(1:20:40) Interchangeability of People for a Narcissist
(1:25:38) We Are All Narcissists to Some Extent
(1:27:24) You Can Never Really Divorce a Narcissist
(1:30:09) The Four Foundations of a Narcissist Concentration Camp: Vulnerability, Addiction and Trauma
(1:34:14) The Four Foundations of a Narcissist Concentration Camp: Adaptation
(1:35:36) Sam Talks About What He’s Discovered About the Victims of a Narcissistic Abuse Part 1
(1:39:42) Sam Talks About What He’s Discovered About the Victims of a Narcissistic Abuse Part 2
(1:42:15) Why You Need to Discard Malignant Optimism
(1:44:33) You Need to Get Rid of Mythologizing
(1:47:44) Sam Reads His List of Observations
(1:50:51) You Are Grieving and Mourning Five Things, Not One
(1:52:22) Sam Continues With Recommendations
(1:56:44) No Contact With the Abuser
(1:58:55) Who Are the Inverted Narcissists?
(2:02:39) Narcissist as a Child Part 1
(2:04:43) Narcissist as a Child Part 2
(2:08:45) The End
6/2/2020 • 2 hours, 9 minutes, 15 seconds
How to Keep Your Mental Health in Uncertain Times of Pandemic and Changes
How to care for yourself, how to prepare for harder moments, acceptance, philosophical approach to suffering in life
(0:42) "Mental Health" Simplified
(3:22) Check Your Expectations
(4:05) Resilience and Adaptivity
(5:30) Never in Life There Are 2 Options
(7:10) Don't Mask It
6/2/2020 • 10 minutes, 50 seconds
How to Resolve Your CPTSD in 2020
Trauma healing and CPTSD Recovery.
How trauma conditions you, and steps to resolve that.
(00:00) Intro
(03:21) The Resolution of Trauma
(07:28) Nasty Inner Voice
(11:19) Super Ego
Q&A Section
(19:12) "What do I need to work on to find the bad ones less attractive?"
(29:19) "Can we compare religion vs. Your own moral philosophy to watching your channel and doing your courses and being part of a community which contributes to the understanding of difficult topics?"
(34:22) "How do you forgive and release the anger?"
(43:11) "I have nightmares too. How to stop them?"
(47:58) "Are you choosing questions or is this like a lottery?
(55:49) "Where do you start when you have mostly past bad experiences with friendships and relationships?"
(1:12:24) "In therapy, when you get to the icky bits where you acted out of character during traumatic times how do you stop the fear of being a bad person pass?"
(1:08:06) "My yang moments often are triggered from the CPTSR"
6/2/2020 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 36 seconds
Without This You're Not Going to Heal
Understanding Unconscious Rules and Healing CPTSD, unconscious blockages, different approaches to healing and therapeutic process
(00:05) Hello
(03:01) Problems With the Way Mainstream Academic Psychology is Done
(05:50) Is Taking an Academic Serious Approach Necessary?
(07:44) Talking About the Importance of Words and the Way We Use Them
(11:39) Unconscious Rules That We All Live by
(14:59) An Example of an Unconscious Rule That Says “Don’t Heal”
(16:33) Talking About Gregory Bateson’s Double Bind Theory
(20:08) If You’re Running a Rule That Says “Don’t Heal”, Then It’s Not Happening
(23:55) That “Evil Nurse” That’s Torturing You is Probably a Little Child Inside You
(26:36) Should We Call Inner Critic Inner Abuser?``
(30:07) What is Inner Critic Really?
(33:53) Answering Short Questions
(35:36) How Do We Differentiate the Codependent From a Narcissist?
(39:25) Answering Short Questions
(41:34) Goodbye
6/1/2020 • 41 minutes, 38 seconds
Toxic is Toxic - dont wring your hands over the diagnosis, just leave!
Examing your relationship and when to leave it
(00:08) Why So Late (1 a.m. now)
(01:23) If You Feel Horrible: Leave
(05:19) Why Do You Feel This
(08:47) My Hopes Just Crashed
Q&A section
(14:31) "There’s a literal narcissistic program!"
(16:02) "How many languages do you speak fluently?"
(17:17) "I’m curious as to how many years you are now free of your own personal cluster b toxic poisonous horror nightmare manipulationship?"
(18:39) "Are you related to Eddie Izzard?"
(19:52) "Similarly to therapy, would you suggest that there is an expiration date or pause phase t o watching your videos for help?"
(22:51) "I'm not sure if I am dating a covert narc or just an immature person who wouldn’t support me even with my best friend’s fatal disease, any ideas how I can find out?"
(25:19) "How important have you found social connections and community to be in leaving the old crap behind and thriving?"
6/1/2020 • 28 minutes, 44 seconds
Suffering and Alchemy - converting trauma to higher consciousness
What Alchemy REALLY is and how it can help us transform our suffering into higher consciousness
(00:00) Brief Excursion
(04:53) Alchemy (What It is)
(07:07) Eastern Concepts (Zen, Vedic)
(09:22) The Gold is Not Gold, the Jewel is Not a Jewel
(13:17) One Transmutation for Us All to Work on
(24:32) CPTSD Healing
(29:02) Life, a Boat, a Stream
(35:11) Magnum Opus (Human Divinity/individuation)
(44:06) Emotional Literacy & Alchemy
Q&A Section
(45:16) "Is CPTSD a new cornerstone in the mental health world?"
(45:41) "How important is forgiveness?"
(48:06) "How do I deal with CPTSD & BPD where I can't feel anything but numbness?"
(48:40) "How do you heal deep abandonment issues?"
(49:09) "Is feeling negative feelings from doing the emotional healing work going to make the pain less?"
(50:19) "How to deal with silent treatment?"
(51:08) "I would love to have nothing to do with my abuser, however she is in late stages of alzheimer's, and I must care for her... Right?"
(51:23) "Do neural pathways heal when you learn how to feels safe, or visa versa?"
(51:51) "Is it possible that suffering is actually a tunnel to higher consciousness"
(52:44) "How do you respond to constant exasperation?"
(53:14) "How do I get in contact with you for online therapy?"
(54:38) "Can a narc have a love relationship with another narc?"
(56:02) "Can you suggest someone if therapy with you is not possible?"
(57:32) "How did Gandalf the Grey become a white wizard?"
(57:59) "How do I stop raging at people I love and pushing them away when I need them?"
(59:43) "Did you watch the Snowden interview on Rogan? What do you think?"
(1:00:46) "What do you think of theramin trees analogy of Christian god as a narcissist?"
(1:03:36) Goodbye
6/1/2020 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 23 seconds
How to Break Free From Codependency Into Self Interested Action (with Richard Grannon)
Richard Grannon talking all about CODEPENDENCY and getting rid of it + Q&A session
(00:00) Intro to Codependency
(03:15) Dealing With Emotional Flashbacks With the Help of the Free Course
(05:33) Why Codependency Goes Beyond the 4-f Response
(06:46) Why It’s Very Hard to Get Rid of Codependency
(09:05) Why Stronger Boundaries Around Belief System is Necessary
(12:04) One More Reason Why Codependency is Difficult to Overcome
(15:54) How to Help Yourself
(19:06) Another Problem With Codependency
(21:27) How to Ask for What You Want
(24:00) The Confusion That Follows When You Start Doing What You Want
(26:03) The Role of the Super-ego
(30:11) Why Dealing With Codependency is Important
(32:20) Experiencing Guilt as an Emotional Flashback
(34:19) Doing Thing That Are Not Good for You Over and Over Again
(35:24) Talking About Zizek vs, Peterson Debate, Part 1
(37:05) Talking About Zizek vs, Peterson Debate, Part 2
(41:14) Answering Short Questions
(44:19) Trying Collectively Figure Out What Psychosomatics is
(48:03) Thoughts on Psychotropics
(49:56) How to Start Identifying Emotions
(51:39) Talking About Defiance
(53:26) What’s the Difference Between Fawning and Humility
(55:22) Richard Talks About His Own Experience of Dealing With Emotional Flashbacks Part 1
(59:46) Richard Talks About His Own Experience of Dealing With Emotional Flashbacks Part 2
(01:04:36) Richard Talks About His Own Experience of Dealing With Emotional Flashbacks Part 3
(01:06:51) Richard Talks About Where He’s at Now
(01:11:44) Wrapping Up
5/30/2020 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 13 seconds
Action from Presence (with Q&A)
Why do we need to be more present? How is that going to help you heal? Why is it important that we have boundried, conscious interactions?
(00:00) Stating Today’s Topic
(03:39) How Presence Affects Consciousness
(06:51) Why We All Need To Slow Down
(09:54) The World Lacks Humble People
(13:15) We Can’t Just Abrogate Responsibility
(17:17) Answering Questions
Q&A Section
(19:19) How To Recognize An Emotional Flashback
(22:31) Did Society Create All These Disorders?
(26:12) Conspiracy Behind People Getting Obese, Mentally Ill And Addicted
(30:41) Tricky Population Governance Questions
(34:53) The Problem Is Not Capitalism Itself, It’s Just We Have A Very Predatory Form
(37:33) The Aspiration Is Too High, But Sometimes The System Really Lets People Down
(40:55) Goodbye
5/30/2020 • 41 minutes, 5 seconds
CPTSD, NPD, Asperger, Grieving, Bullying, Fight Response, Training, Reiki, Systema, Music etc. w/ Richard Grannon
Richard Grannon doing a spontaneous Q&A session with questions including topics such as bullying, relationships, NPD, CPTSD etc.
(00:05) "Is it usual for counter dependent to relate to a narcissist?"
(04:28) "What do you do when you have been successfully annihilated covertly by both your ex and your bro over a long time?"
(06:06) "What are there specific differences between CPTSD and BPD?"
(06:44) "I’m stuck in grieving. How do you end?"
(08:35) "Have you had any experience with reiki or yuen method of Chinese energetics?"
(10:56) Bullying Whilst Growing Up
(12:49) "Do you think mental illnesses or Cluster B personality disorders play a role in human evolution?"
(16:53) "What are your thoughts on Carl Jung's work? Perhaps in particular the collective unconscious?"
(20:51) The Concept of Trauma From Relationships Needing to Be Healed by a Healthy Relationship
5/29/2020 • 22 minutes, 41 seconds
Advice for Teenagers with Narcissistic Parents
If you're living with narcissistic, abusive parents there are a few things you can keep in mind that will help you thrive in that situation. There are strategies and things you can start thinking about to prepare yourself for healthy, responsible adult life.
Go check out Fortress Mental Health Protection: www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKZtdT7GPsE
(0:30) Review the Situation You're in
(1:00) The Power Dynamic
(2:10) Forced Fawning Response
(3:20) Be Insincere but Consciously
(5:40) Any Communication is Potential for Abuse
(7:15) Be Careful in Your Intimate Relationships
(9:48) Pleading
(11:08) It Will Pass
5/29/2020 • 12 minutes, 53 seconds
How to Thrive in your Relationships & Love with Intent (with Q&A)
Is there a war on love? Has our capacity to be intimate been sabotaged? Why are people anxious about their sexuality?
A talk about reality of love, intimacy and vulnerability in our emotionally violent culture, including the Q&A.
(00:00) Hello
(01:27) Paranoid Conspiracy Theory Time
(06:06) We Live In Times When Love Itself Has Been Controversialised
(10:35) If You’re Alone, It’s Not Necessarily Your Fault
Q&A Section
(12:24) “How do I get out of this mindset?”
(13:38) “Our relationship with some parts of ourselves is becoming schizophrenic, What does it mean?”
(16:33) “Is there a connection between an increase in sexual hostility and violence from men and feminism demonizing men?”
(21:18) Controversialisation Of Love And Intimacy Is Taken Further To Controversialisation Of Men
(25:49) Splitting And Black & White Thinking Are The Classic Responses To Traumatizing
(29:23) Answering Short Questions
(30:37) “So those of us who meet someone and truly fall in love is by chance?”
(33:41) “How do we train our subconscious to feel worthy of love and connection?”
(34:52) “How do we reconcile profound loneliness with profound fear of intimacy/abandonment?”
(36:31) “How to deal with the feeling of being love leading to believe it’s toxic?”
(39:57) “How can I find a good psychotherapist that actually understands narcissistic dynamics?”
(40:21) “If Czechs can’t lead in dance due to past communist regime, why can Ukrainians and Russians still do it?”
(41:54) Advice On The Correlation Between Today’s Subject And Long-Distance Relationship
(44:18) “Were you able to find love and relationship after what you’ve been through?”
(47:32) Is It Possible To Make Love Just Happen?
(52:55) Responding To Short Comments
(56:01) Goodbye
5/29/2020 • 59 minutes, 21 seconds
This One Concept Will Make You a More Resilient Person
How healing is similar to strength training and why consistent daily action will make you stronger.
Doing necessary things daily is a key.
(00:22) Hello
(05:32) Pain
(09:38) You Can Affect And You Should
(16:02) Why Insist On Always Being Operating at Maximum Efficiency?
(20:57) Seek To Connect With How You Feel
Q&A Section
(21:48) "How do I deal with a covert sociopath at work who has everyone else fooled and has already got 2 of my workmates fired?"
(23:27) "What's the key difference between the repattern the inner parent course and the heal the superego course, please?"
(30:42) "How do you discern between healthy helpful creative mythological thinking, in terms of dreams and analysis and backward thinking?"
(35:02) "How do I emotionally deal with people that lay next to you at the beach being it basically empty?"
5/29/2020 • 42 minutes, 3 seconds
Do narcissists think they are normal?
Are narcissists and psychopaths walking around thinking their bizarre, abusive behaviour is normal?
(00:35) No, Narcissists Don’t Think They’re Normal
(02:20) Narcissists Know Exactly What They’re Doing
(06:21) How Narcissists Can Change Their Behaviour
(09:01) Everything Narcissists Do Is A Manipulation
(10:20) Can CPTSD Cause Consumption Of Alcohol?
(11:27) Can Switching Environments Between Loving And Abusive Contribute To CPTSD?
(12:33) Adult Children Of Narcissists, Being Raised By A Narcissist Mother, Moving On From A Relationship With A Narcissist, Covens Of Narcissists
(16:49) Useful YouTube Channels On Psychology, The Games Narcissists Play
(20:10) Dealing With Intrusive Memories, Confabulation
(24:44) Going To Counselling With The Ex, Tips On How To Love Yourself
(31:57) Is Psychopathy Inborn And Can Empathy Be Learned?
(35:34) The Formation Of NPD And BPD
(39:06) Better Aspects Of Our Culture
5/28/2020 • 41 minutes, 47 seconds
How to Find a Good Coach and How to Heal
Everything about finding the best therapist for you who will be qualified and competent in trauma recovery
(00:00) Stating Today’s Topic
(01:57) 5 Features to Look in a Therapist
(06:19) Is It Important to Have a Professional Diagnosis for CPTSD?
(10:12) How Do You Find a Counsellor That Will Not Be Biased?
(11:28) Are There Any Things to Ask a Psychologist During the First Session?
(12:19) Should the Therapist Tell the Client if They Have CPTSD or Just Guide Them Through It?
(14:20) Is the Coach Better Than the Therapist?
(15:33) Is Falling in Love Helping or is It Better to Stay Alone and Heal?
(16:06) Is It Possible to Get Stuck in a Flashback While Working With a Psychologist?
(16:55) Is Social Anxiety Within the Frame of CPTSD Emotional Flashback?
(20:41) Is It Helpful to Write Down Thoughts?
(21:30) Does People’s Anxiety to Function Properly Reasserts Itself Naturally as They Heal Their Trauma?
(22:27) Quick Tips to Break Out of Freeze Response
(24:22) Does a Narcissist Choose to Be a Narcissist? Do We Choose to Be Codependent?
(26:53) Things That Freeze Any Healing Progress Part 1
(30:41) Things That Freeze Any Healing Progress Part 2
(34:54) Why Clean Head is Important
(41:06) Goodbye
5/28/2020 • 44 minutes, 4 seconds
They want you to be a soft little cupcake (live Q&A after the 5 Tips)
A follow-up live from 5 Unusual Life Tips: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7Ig06KyxLUge8Al6gWeQZW
The topic mainly revolves around personal freedom, sovereignty and agency.
(00:00) Who are they? What are they?
(01:10) Sentimentality is one of the poisons of this age
(03:00) Why authenticity and speaking freely triggers other people
(05:26) Advice on being free Part 1
(09:41) Advice on being free Part 2
(13:17) "Would you say the presence of emotional flashbacks makes one more susceptible to this agenda?"
(15:59) "I've used non serviam every day, Can you touch on that?"
(17:40) "I quit coaching people who just want to argue and make excuses..."
(19:15) "How do you sleep better?"
(19:43) "Do you suggest that to develop immunity against the narcissist/psychopath, the journey involves evolving from prey to predator?"
(21:02) Responding to short comments Part 1
(24:15) Responding to short comments Part 2
(28:00) Goodbye
5/28/2020 • 28 minutes, 14 seconds
Reduce Your Emotional Flashbacks in 2020
Why reducing emotional flashbacks should be priority and how to go about it, recommending the free course, how the flashbacks disrupt people's functioning
(00:00) Hello
(00:43) Stating Today’s Topic
(06:39) Emotional Flashbacks Are the Critical Component of Any Mental Health Issue
(10:50) Intensive Emotional Flashbacks Warp Your Perception of Reality
(13:35) What Does It Mean to Reduce to Infantile State
(15:41) Being in a Constant Series of Emotional Flashbacks
(16:51) When You’re Flashbacking, It’s Very Hard to Maintain Any Boundaries
(20:46) If You Wish to Progress, You Need to Reduce Emotional Flashbacks
(21:58) Answering Short Questions
(23:13) Talking About Fight Responses
(25:48) The Only Behaviour You Can Influence is Your Own
(27:28) Talking About Importance of Emotional Literacy Course
(34:10) Goodbye
5/28/2020 • 34 minutes, 26 seconds
How can I learn to trust again (with Q&A)
How to get to a place where you are able to fully trust yourself with your decisions?
(00:01) Today's Question
(02:03) What Do Good Decisions Look Like?
(02:54) Writing Down a List and The Review Process
(06:01) Time Is The Most Important
(07:55) An Example Of Not Putting Realistic Demands On People
(10:03) What Can Help You To Trust Yourself
Q&A Section
(11:57) "How to tell the difference between trauma response and intuition if the alarm bells are always ringing?"
(14:11) "How do I un-zombify myself?"
(17:41) "I think the culture of doubt has been exacerbated in the world since the creation of the internet"
(19:17) "How do you think that the knife attack at London bridge is affecting people?"
(21:46) "Will you please do more awareness on vulnerable narcissists, how do they hide this so well?"
(22:33) Responding To Short Comments
(25:19) "What are your thoughts on masculinity and its truest form?"
(26:23) "What's your opinion/experience on clinical hypnotherapy for trauma?"
(28:22) "How do I get over the fact that I spent years of my life wasted on trying to please someone?"
(30:29) "Have you met any narcs since you started the channel?"
(33:59) "How to deal with massive back slides after a period of healing?"
(35:07) "How could we break a trauma bond?"
(37:40) Responding To Short Comments Part 1
(41:31) Responding To Short Comments Part 2
(45:16) Responding To Short Comments Part 3
(46:25) "What helps people the most?"
(47:35) Richards Talks About Russian Language And Speaks It
(53:12) "What's your opinion for brandon stark?"
(55:02) "How did the 75 hard go?"
(55:48) "How to help my husband who's kind of in shock having only realized his parents suck recently at 33?"
(56:54) "Have you had any metaphysical experience personally?"
(01:00:26) "How do I help my friend who's on his way into a toxic relationship?"
(01:01:58) Responding To Short Comments
(01:04:08) Goodbye
5/27/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 6 seconds
How to let shit go and get on with your life? w/ Richard Grannon
Richard Grannon on acknowledgment and acceptance, telling the truth, feeling safe, change and self-interested action - how these will help you to let go?
(0:01) Hello
(1:19) How to Let Shit Go and Get on With Your Life
(04:00) Is It Possible to Just Acknowledge Things and Let Them Go?
(08:22) In Order to Move Forward, We Need to Focus on the Unconscious Part 1
(11:57) In Order to Move Forward, We Need to Focus on the Unconscious Part 2
(16:10) The Things You Have to Do to Free Yourself and Move on
(18:19) Answering a Question About Covert Narcissistic Psychotherapists
(22:57) Interesting Facts About Richard Grannon
Q&A Section
(24:40) “I’m scared of falling into old patterns if I return to my home town. What do I do?”
(26:18) “Do you think current society has made men and women incompatible?”
(27:48) Answering Short Questions
(30:20) “How much of personality is consciously changeable? How do we accept traits that are less socially rewardable – assuming they are positive traits?”
(33:27) “Richard, from being a coach do you get triggered at all from some of these questions?”
(34:33) “Do you think that codependents can bring out the narcissistic tendencies in others?”
(35:06) “Hey Richard, did you abandon the idea of retreats?”
(39:10) “In your professional opinion do you believe Jordan Peterson might have narcissistic tendencies?”
(42:23) “If we take off our socks, do we stop being people?”
(42:55) “Can you feel the energy from narcissists or are they hard for you to detect right away?” part 1
(46:35) “Can you feel the energy from narcissists or are they hard for you to detect right away?” part 2
(48:27) “How badly can a brain be changed by decades of neglected abuse?”
(50:43) “What kind of energy can you feel in Czech Republic?”
(54:38) “Maybe men there have forgotten how to lead with their heart or lack of sensuality?”
(55:45) “Do you find yourself self-censoring with your conspiracy theories?”
(57:00) “Why is spirituality so important to people healing who have lived through trauma?”
(58:13) “Do you think the concept of twin flames is misleading a lot of people making people see trauma and abuse as something healthy and spiritual?”
(1:02:53) Talking About The Twin Flames
(1:06:40) Spiritual And Psychic Experiences
(1:10:14) Goodbye
5/27/2020 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 23 seconds
"Sad Baby" as an Abused Archetype (Supra State) of Stacked Emotional Flashbacks
(00:10) Getting Started
(01:06) Introduction: Supra States, D.I.D and CPTSD
(05:54) How Emotional Flashbacks Can Be Layered and Lead to Personality Splits
(08:14) How Feeling of Abandonment Can Trigger Emotional Flashbacks
(10:59) CPTSD and Projective Identification
(14:03) Emotional Dysregulation Can Lead to Delusion
(16:27) What Happens if the Person Internalizes Multiple Emotional Flashbacks
(19:33) A Child Perceives Parents as Gods
(23:08) Introducing the Sad Baby Archetype
(27:54) Times When You’re Flashing Back to a Modality of a Sad Baby
(31:29) What the Practice of Going Back to Your Child State Can Give You
(36:10) Why You Need Compassion for the Baby
(40:31) Wrapping Up
5/27/2020 • 40 minutes, 42 seconds
5 Tips to Find a Coach for Narcissistic Abuse and CPTSD
If you need support in your recovery from narcissistic abuse and looking for a professional help, you might consider these tips when looking for it.
(0:14) #1 Phone the person and ask for a chat
(1:42) #2 Healing (future) focused
(2:54) #3 Compassion and sense humour
(3:40) #4 Down to earth
(4:03) #5 Is an ally
(4:51) Example of lack of knowledge among professionals
(7:48) Summary
(8:34) Look for recommendations
(9:41) Recommending SpartanLifeCoach coaches
5/26/2020 • 9 minutes, 52 seconds
How to Know If a Relationship Is Abusive (Signs of Toxic Relationship)
3 clues your relationships are toxic, why there is trauma in the world and what do we do about it, plus a bit of Q&A
(00:16) State Of Confusion
(01:49) You Start Investigation
(03:11) Coercion
(07:45) If... You are in a toxic relationship,
(12:35) How To Deal With It
(18:13) Everyone Is Traumatizing Each Other
(23:48) Trauma Is Everywhere, AND IT'S OKAY
(28:21) What Are We Doing Here? You don't really need to know
(34:01) We Are Built For Connection
(39:27) Final Point
Q&A Section
(44:01) When You Have Been Hurt That Much, How Do You Heal From It Internally?
(46:12) The Reptilian Brain Will Keep You Traumatized
5/26/2020 • 52 minutes, 18 seconds
5 signs you slipped into Lie Land
Lie Land is a place of distorted truth, full of cognitive dissonance. Recognize whether you're in it, and reclaim your responsibility.
(0:01) Lie Land
(05:51) How to Deal With It
(10:49) The Role of Our Protests
(14:43) Temptation, That's It
(21:35) "The New Inquisition"
Q&A Section
(25:50) "How do you set goals when you feel worthless and feel like you deserve to feel bad?"
(26:17) "How do you ha ndle being punished for doing the right thing?"
(28:01) "How do you break through creative blocks?"
(31:57) "Why ignorant people are so confident? And how to deal with friends like that?"
(32:30) "How do I handle being cheated on? I'm so angry, I just cant stop thinking of her with this other guy and it makes me murderously enraged,"
(37:44) "You sometimes mention illuminati, tell us what you really think of it?"
(45:21) "I have combat PTSD and still getting over a BPD ex fiance should I quit tabacco now or after I get over my issues?"
(48:40) "All of the life coaches themselves are never able to form healthy relationships, Are there any in youtube that have actually been able to do that?"
(49:26) "How and why do we like lie land?"
5/26/2020 • 54 minutes, 45 seconds
Fear of Super Ego stopping your healing process (Inner Critic)
Fear that the (toxic) Super Ego will halt all progress; the best way to deal with this is by being non- perfectionistic (good enough is good enough), robust and kind.
Whatever happens you will deal with it. “Everything is going to be ok.” Is a piece of software code people with sober, present parents already have installed.
5/26/2020 • 9 minutes, 15 seconds
5 Unusual Tips To Get Your Life In Order
Frustrated with silly Life Coaching world? Sugar-coated psychology is there to make you softer. Here are 5 pieces of advice that go against the grain.
Follow-up Q&A: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ulcoKCFY0lFwFRhg2HSOZ
(0:56) #1 Be Willing to Be Unlikeable (Less Lamb, More Wolf)
(3:00) #2 Engage in "Negative Thinking" (Judge, Condemn, Be Pessimistic)
(5:08) #3 You Can Move Forward with Just Half an Idea
(6:49) #4 Assume You Are a Liar
(8:12) #5 Be Tougher
5/26/2020 • 10 minutes, 48 seconds
Why can’t I get over my borderline ex girlfriend
Why can't we stop thinking about ex partner? Explaining the Trauma Bond and split, Borderline Personalty Disorder, and more.
(00:11) Post traumatic embitterment syndrome
(02:06) Why does my ex reframing things to be on top?
(03:48) Boundry-breaking Fake Analysis
(08:04) Abandonment Terror
(13:04) You Must Have a Distant Compassion
(16:32) You Have to Be You
(21:38) Where Do You Draw the Line With Leaving Them to Fuck Up?
(25:46) What Does Help Mean?
(30:31) BPD and Autism
(39:54) Is the Heal Super-ego Course Best for One Who is Hyper Self-critical?
5/26/2020 • 42 minutes, 8 seconds
State management to deal with CPTSD and Emotional Flashbacks, free course (Richard Grannon)
Richard Grannon explains, how does CPTSD differ from PTSD? What are flashbacks? And most importantly what we can do to feel better.
Fortress Mental Health Protection System - www.forms.aweber.com/form/27/353806527.htm
(0:33) Explanation of CPTSD
(4:18) State Management
(6:46) How Do You Already Manage Your State
(8:09) What State Do You Want to Feel?
(10:51) List of Behaviors That Lead You to Good State
(12:30) Deal With the Emotional Flashbacks
(13:55) Free Course to Stop Emotional Flashbacks
(16:48) Announcement of Free 10 Step, Comprehensive Course
(20:16) Q&A
(20:48) "Is the course available on computer or phone?"
(21:28) "Do I do the flashback and literacy course together?"
(23:05) (Disclaimer) - I am not a professional clinician
(24:20) "Is it common for folks to try to take on too much change too soon when embarking on something like this?"
5/25/2020 • 27 minutes, 14 seconds
How do I find hope when I've given up (advice)
Belief that change is possible is the key.
How to reignite a sense of hope?
(0:03) Stating Today’s Topic
(1:45) What Does “Given Up” Mean to You?
(5:00) It’s Not Bad to Give Up
(8:35) Don’t Pretend That Everything’s Okay When It’s Not
(11:32) Sometimes Things Suck, but It Passes
(16:10) The Kind of Hope You Need
(19:03) Wrapping Up
5/25/2020 • 19 minutes, 34 seconds
Relationships - 3 Tips to Quickly Improve Their Quality
Today our relationships lack consciousness, but by remembering this 3 key points with their keywords you can easily solve that.
(0:13) Offer the Gift of Presence
(1:00) Be Grateful for What That Person Brings Into Your Life
(1:38) Be Intentful in Your Interaction and Relationship (Ask Yourself Good Questions)
(2:58) We Need to Put More Consciousness Into Our Relationships
(4:20) The More Intimate You Become the Fewer Boundaries They Are (Be Careful)
(6:00) Relationships Without Putting Effort Into Them Deteriorate
(7:23) Theory of Karma Applied to Relationships
(9:05) You Will Reap What You Sow (Make Sure Things Are Good for Everybody)
(10:17) Recap
5/22/2020 • 11 minutes, 10 seconds
20 Signs You Are With A Covert Narcissist
This is a thorough analysis of a covert (also called vulnerable or fragile) narcissistic personality disorder, along with clear signs that might tell us we are dealing with such case.
5/22/2020 • 44 minutes, 53 seconds
The #1 Thing Narcissists FEAR The Most (Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse)
What is that narcissists truly fear the most and how can you use that for your advantage?
(0:42) Distress a Narcissist by Healing Yourself
(3:04) You Escaping Causes Massive Anxiety in Narcissist
(5:51) How Should You Seek to Heal and Keep Your Karma Clean
(7:15) Narcissist Puts You in a Role of Children Because They Cannot Attach in an Equal Way (Transactional Analysis)
(10:52) They Will Show Up as Angel and Demon, and Trap You
(12:11) Your Individualization Process Tortures the Narcissist
(14:25) What's in the Narcissist's Room 101