"There's two scythes to every story." In this very exciting instalment of our journey through all things Smegazine, Cappsy, Danny and Ian are joined by two very special guests - Chris Barrie's nipples. Listen along as the five of us discuss neural networks, yuppies, Kochanski's giant forehead, Norman Wisdom's popularity in Albania, whether or not Back To Reality was actually any good, and how The Inquisitor is accidentally responsible for the crimes of Jeffrey Epstein. It's best to have the magazine in front of you as you listen. If you don't have an actual copy, scans are available on archive.org or Stasis Leak, you freeloading bastard.Show notes G&TV covers Cyberzone John's ancient Episode Orders article, and Christopher Wickham's oft-linked-to Red Dwarf Broadcast Guide We couldn't find the footage of Norman Wisdom pissing about ahead of Albania vs England, but here's a bit of C5's coverage to prove we weren't making it up Dave's competition winning Inquisitor vs Judge Dredd comic FAO Jane Killick in late 1992: all the changes made in the Red Dwarf Omnibus G&TV covers The Reconstructed Heart

"If it wasn't shit, it would be perfect." We thought we ought to do something slightly out of the ordinary for our landmark 169th episode, so here's two specials in one - it's time for some Christmas Waffles. Once again our lovely listeners slash readers provided us with a veritable smorgasbord of tasty topics, which we gobbled up whilst writing fan-fiction about the ship's Secret Santa, sharing our ultimate Red Dwarf Christmas wishes, pondering the best box sets of all time, weighing up the current state of the fandom, and coming up with a really good idea for a Christmas special. Plus, like all great festive episodes, we end on a good old sing-song. We apologise for nothing.Show notes Our fellow Dwarfy podcasters / YouTubers: The Garbage Podcast, Everyone's Dead Dave, Shipwrecked & Comatose, Better Than Life, Red Dwarf Nerd, Gallifrey Gals All the leaves are brown... Frank Kelly's Christmas Countdown

"Disgustingly Northern" As we continue our series revisiting the now decades-old DVD releases, the main thing we re-disc-over this time out is that Series V tempts us down conversational side roads like nothing else. So join Cappsy, Danny and Ian as we discuss Juliet May's short-lived tenure as director, attempt to get to the bottom of conflicting stories about Red Dwarf USA, and uncover more examples of institutional racism within the Metropolitan Police. We also speculate as to what the visual effects workshop smelt like, hunt down pictures of Timothy Spall dressed as a pig, and confess the real reason behind our lukewarm response to the fan commentaries nearly twenty years ago. Strap yourself in, this is a waffley one.Show notes Ian's review from November 2004 A much more succinct explanation of what "crossing the line" means It's a fucking emu! Timothy Spall develops PTSD in The Tale of Little Pig Robinson Holoship Xtended - Pete Part Three did a complete edit while John Hoare posted one scene from his version. Ian's slow motion face Creating new lines from existing dialogue

"Magnum Ed Bye" It's been far too long, but we are finally back on the Rack to continue our odyssey through the wonderous world of early 90s publishing. Join Cappsy, Danny and Ian as we take a deep dive into the epic Jake Bullet story that graces the cover, welcome another legendary Red Dwarf fan writer to the fold, marvel at the versatility of Chris Barrie's face, discover an obscure sci-fi writer that none of us have heard of, and attempt to figure out why a parody of Red Dwarf USA bears absolutely no resemblance to Red Dwarf USA. Mostly though, we rip the absolute shit out of everyone who took part in the all-episodes survey. Without looking, see if you can guess what the people of 1992 thought the second worst episode ever was. The 1992 idiots.Show notes The famous Casablanca poster that the magazine's cover pastiches The Last Temptation of Kryten (the fan fiction that launched a thousand headcanons) Oh Bosanquet, Howard Goodall's second contribution to Not The Nine O'Clock News Disturbing content warning - what became of Hoggle from Labyrinth The Kryten tissue dispenser, as featured in this article on Gazpacho Soup

"Ribs and Pipes and Penises (oh my!)" Our voyage of re-disc-overy continues, as we tackle a most unusual release; the one that was out in the US before the UK, and that Young Cappsy managed to review before Young Ian for once. We rake over this bitterness as well as embarking on not one, not two, but three commentaries, forgoing the tradition of focusing on one big extra in favour of covering a handful of little bitty ones, the regular features that would otherwise be glossed over. Once again, we ensure that every single aspect of the release is discussed, and along the way we re-evaluate Hattie Hayridge's return to the role of Holly, try to get to the bottom of why the cast commentaries are so difficult to get through, and attempt to comprehensively solve the issues of both war and racism.Show notes Contemporary reviews from Cappsy, Ian and Ian again. Series IV Deleted Scenes commentary (2013) TOS article (via The Unofficial Archive) on stock footage in Red Dwarf The Smeg Ups Rough Cut The history of feral parakeets in Great Britain Sexual assault of men played for laughs Vic Reeves and The Wonder Stuff (and Bob Mortimer) perform Dizzy on Top of the Pops Can't Smeg Won't Smeg commentary (2011) Pip Madeley's remastered trailers The TV watershed was introduced in 1964, just twenty odd years earlier than we guessed during the discussion

"Doctor Fitzwilliam: Village Rectologist" At 6:30pm on Tuesday 23rd August 1983, unsuspecting Radio 4 listeners were ambushed by the very first episode of a seminal new sketch show. Featuring a hugely talented cast, performing the work of two writers who were on the fast track to greatness, it was notable not only for its inherent quality, but for what it would eventually spawn. The programme was, of course, Son of Cliché, without which this podcast would not exist. So in a break from the usual format, we present our fortieth anniversary tribute in the form of a documentary, showcasing some highlights from the series, analysing what made it so great, and of course focusing on the moments that had the biggest influence on Red Dwarf. Think it was just Dave Hollins: Space Cadet that Rob and Doug drew upon? Think again.Show notes The complete series of Cliché and Son of Cliché on archive.org The original "Father of Dwarf" article, published nearly 20 years ago Our old SoC section on an ancient version of the site John Hoare's History of a Joke article Oh, and we also recommend looking at the original Radio Times listings for the show, for bonus jokes

"The Manly Adventures of Buff Squidward" Rejoice, for our journey through the Smegazine archives continues with quite possibly the best issue yet. The first ever Duane Dibbley comeback! Tonnes of dirt on Red Dwarf USA! Loads of exciting news, some of which actually ended up happening! Some tedious prose pieces to keep us all grounded! Plus, we think we've uncovered the first published work of an acclaimed comics writer and Red Dwarf fan. All this and more, in far too much detail even by our standards.Show notes Colin Howard's artwork for the free poster Remade in America: The reality of remaking UK sitcoms Growing the Beard Craig Charles stars in Weather Watch Clive Swift from Keeping Up Appearances gives the worst official tie-in magazine interview of all time Ice to see you Two of Spandau Ballet sign for Melchester Rovers Tighten up the graphics on level 3

"The Gall of Gary Barlow" The third Red Dwarf DVD was released twenty years ago this November. It's time for another voyage of re-disc-overy, as we cast our minds back to a time of the online retail wild west, blossoming friendships and intense fansite rivalry. Although in practice, we probably spend more time reminiscing about our early Dimension Jump experiences than anything else, thanks to the choice of extra to receive the commentary treatment this time round, Hattie's DJ Diary. The surrounding, extremely waffley discussion takes in such topics as Red Dwarf's history with the AA, Craig Charles's overdue royalty payments, and farting in Ronnie Corbett's face. Each and every special feature is covered, we just hope that whatever you're using to watch your DVDs these days can actually access the menus...Show notes Celebrity Home Secrets was the programme in which Craig Charles revisted his former houses, but we couldn't find a copy online. Our Backwards Forwards commentary from 2013 Some Saturday morning quim for you Our Series III deleted scenes commentary, also from 2013 There are no further Series III trailers to be found on YouTube sadly, but here's a link to Jim Lynn's VHS Video Vault anyway. G&T's 2003 report on the fake DVD cover, and the subsequent explanation.

"The fascist junta of the potato people" Back in the distant mists of time, when Ian first dreamt up the idea of getting Danny and I to read through all the Smegazines and record a podcast series about it, no doubt issues like this were front and centre of his mind. Historically significant pieces on ancient DJs? Check. Some hot Wraggy action? Check. Potatits? You bet ya. *gestures vaguely at insane original comic strips*? Uh-huh. Needless to say, this was a fun one.Show notes Danny's brother on Bad Influence - he's the one fist-pumping on the right of frame after the pool shot. Wiffle Lever To Full by Bob Fischer is the book in which Cappsy is carried off on the shoulders of his fellow Red Dwarf fans. The Angel Hotel in Northampton was somewhat bigger and grander than our initial research suggested. It burnt down in 2012 and is currently being redeveloped. Clip from Parallel 9 with Robert and Craig. A good blog about the making of Parallel 9. The Abso-smegging-lutely Unofficial Red Dwarf Cookbook. Ian looking discerningly at a bowl of gazpacho soup. Flap Jack's comprehensive guide to the edits made in the Omnibus. G&TV: The Reconstructed Heart. Brian Harvey vs baked potatoes. G&T's 2004 interview with Peter Tyler. Seb Patrick's Beyond The Touchline podcast on Roy of the Rovers and other football comics.

"Could you make Patrick Stewart come in the middle of my television programme, please?" The second Red Dwarf DVD was released twenty years ago (as of a month and a half ago). Any bets as to whether we can get the next one done before this November? Back in early 2003 we had barely had chance to watch the first DVD more than two or three thousand times before another release was thrust into our sweaty palms. As is expected, the Series 2 DVD was very closely related to the first so you'd be forgiven for thinking this release might be a little less interesting, but as you will hear Danny, Ian and Cappsy still had plenty to talk about as they continue on their voyage re-disc-overy.Show notes "Very very nearly 20 years ago" is now "slightly over 20 years ago". "New Years Eve this year" is now "New Years Eve last year." 17-year-old Ian's breakdown of the A-Z Dalek 63•88 identifying which Daleks were used James O'Brien reveals all on RHLSTP Saint and Greavsie meet Donald Trump Tom Scott talking about sync claps and that 16-year-old Ian whinging about the Alternate Personalities featurette

"I've got a lot of Red Dwarf to give." Well then, this is a little bit special. Fresh from the fantastic news that the Red Dwarf legal kerfuffle is officially resolved, we speak exclusively to Rob Grant himself - the co-creator of the programme, who's now returning to the franchise after an absence of close to 30 years. We found out exactly what the legal resolution means for the future of the show, got clarification on the new status quo for Rob and Doug, discovered what new projects are being pursued, discussed possible collaborations with established cast and crew, and touched upon merchandise, continuity, technology, Marilyn Monroe, and much much more.Show notes William Hartnell wasn't dead by the time Patrick Troughton took over as The Doctor, but we're too cowardly to correct the actual co-creator of Red Dwarf to his face. Rob's now-forgotten mention of an American approach Rob soliciting for fan feedback on Twitter Doug's Radio Times interview Two and a half hours on whether or not The Lion King is a rip off.

"Let wideons be wideons" Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps and Daniel Stephenson are delighted to announce that the ongoing DwarfCast hiatus has been resolved. Moving onwards and upwards, Ian, Cappsy and Danny hope to launch many iterations of DwarfCasts covering various media, working again with Jimmy Nail and other valued partners, and wish each other the very best. Smoke a kipper, DwarfCasts will eat all your kippers!!Show notes A collection of 1970s tumble dryers. We couldn't find the clip from You Bet! of the German man identifying stamps purely from the taste of the glue, but trust us, it's phenomenal.

This is a most unusual DwarfCast following a most unusual weekend for your intrepid G&T team. The three of us gathered together in the same place for this first and only time this year, and that place was Liverpool. The reason? Seb Patrick's 40th birthday, and we weren't going to let the small detail that he himself has passed on stop us from celebrating. We wanted to share the festivities with some of the people who knew Seb, be they friends, family or just those who knew him through his work, in the Red Dwarf community and beyond. So join us for a somewhat experimental travelogue, taking in Danny's first ever football experience, a trip to a certain Liverpudlian pub, a game of pool on a very important table and our first visit to Seb's memorial bench at Crosby Beach. We promised to record a DwarfCast there if the petition was successful, and thanks to your help, it was.Show notes Twitter thread of our pics from the weekend The Aigburth Arms plaque, as it looked when it was new The sex swing/Grav-Pool inspired benches at the Aigburth Seb's bench on Google Maps Mind's information and support pages The Samaritans NHS mental health services

The first Red Dwarf DVD was released twenty years ago today. Yes, we regret to inform you that you're old. The fourth of November 2002 is a date indelibly printed on the brains of fans who spent months being teased and tantalised into a frenzy. Kids today with your YouTubes and your Netflixes and your Ministry of Sound may not appreciate just how big of a deal it was for Dwarf to join the digital revolution in such a wholehearted way, so gather round and listen to your Uncles Cappsy, Danny and Ian as we kick off a new series of DwarfCast retrospectives. For each edition of Re-Disc-overy, we're going to be sharing our memories of each DVD release, looking back on the media and fandom landscapes of the time, and of course revisiting and reassessing the many, many special features. Plus, we've picked out one extra per series to receive the commentary treatment, and this time it could only be Launching Red Dwarf. So get that lovely red box off your shelf, remove the dust from your ageing DVD player and join us as we discuss Red Dwarf's greatest unsung hero, unicycling jugglers, embarrassing Dimension Jump memories, the glory of Woolworths and much much more.Show notes "Because the Red Dwarf movie's happening at the moment, we thought now would be an ideal time." Ian's contemporary review, published on the day of release Cappsy's contemporary review, published 26 days after release. Just saying. The Series 1 extras don't have subtitles, because Doug Naylor hates deaf people. So Danny has compiled subs for Launching Red Dwarf if anyone wants them. The TOS archives aren't conclusive about whether or not the commentaries and Launching Red Dwarf interviews were recorded on the same day, but note that none of them are wearing the same things in the doc as they are in these pictures from the commentary session. A double page spread from the Making Of book, the context of which will become clear when you listen. Maybe. Eeeeeeggs dot com The link between Red Dwarf's menus and the "follow the white rabbit" feature of The Matrix DVD originated on TOS's Easter Egg guide Original BBC Two continuity, courtesy of Jim Lynn Sixteen-year-old Ian's entirely pointless but time-consuming analysis of the Drunk featurette The old Lee & Herring website is still online, as is Rob Sedgebeer's Mudhole - Ian just misremembered the URL.

Hello hello and welcome back onto the rack. In a shock twist that even we didn't expect, we've actually come good on our promise to start up our regular DwarfCasting routine again. This time Cappsy, Danny and Ian are going page by page through Issue 6 of the Smegazine, which gives them plenty of opportunity to be all smug and self regarding about those early 90s idiots and their casual ableism and homophobia. Hurrah!

In my own personal and humble opinion, Red Dwarf fans are very lucky to have something like the US pilots. The mystery and excitement of them during the 90s and the black market in increasingly terrible copies are a defining part of many of our fandoms. Despite the fact we've still been unable to source a decent quality copy of either pilots, the time has come for Ian, Danny and Cappsy to commentate on these pilots 30 years after they were ill-conceived.Show notes Pilot #1. Pilot #2. With thanks to the G&T Malcolm in the Middle correspondent Stephen Hegarty for his... contribution. Craig Bierko's 30th anniversary message for Dimension Jump XX. Red Dwarf USA clips featured in ABC's The Best TV Shows That Never Were. The early edit. A full and mostly clean version of the RD USA theme tune. Todd Rundgren's Wikipedia entry. Rob Grant's buttski to return to America?

Surprise! We didn't plan to have a summer break, but a summer break we indeed have had in order to recharge our batteries and hide from the dreaded Burnout Monster. We've got a bit of editing catchup to do, though, so we're breaking with tradition and giving you another Smegazine Rack today while editing on the Red Dwarf USA episode is finished (well, started). Grab your complementary copy of the mag here.Show notes Danny's much stolen 'Smegopoly' board. We can confirm that Rob Grant *did* say "tomato juice" in his interview with Vox Magazine. Thanks to @reddwarfzone and @plus_haut for the scans. Mark Gatiss and David Walliams's Doctor Who Night sketch that features a Red Dwarf t-shirt and poster. Bourbonhenge.

It seems a lot has happened since our last episode of The Smegazine Rack. We've launched and re-launched our incredibly original game Smegle and... well, that's about all that has happened, hasn't it? Yes, yes, definitely. Anyway please join your incompetent (by design) hosts, Ian, Danny and Cappsy as they climb up into the cab, fire up the slumbering beast and crack on... with the job of reading through every episode of the Smegazine.Show notes Danny's mysterious co-star revealed.

If you're reading this then there's a decent chance that at some point in your childhood or early adulthood you sat down on a Friday night and enjoyed the feast of mechanical violence that was Robot Wars. For older Millennials and young Gen Xers watching this show went hand in hand with being a Red Dwarf fan, not least because the host was, from series 2 onwards, Craig Charles himself. And it's for that reason Robot Wars qualifies for our series of 'Dwarf-adjacent' commentaries as we seize with both hands the opportunity to talk at length about a show very dear to our hearts for... quite a long time.Show notes Christopher Wickham's Ludicrously Niche blog posts on Robot Wars. Robot Wars Series 1 trailer, featuring Norman Lovett. Cheesoid hate self. Cheesoid kill self. Yes, there was a Robot Wars Celebrity Special in which Vic Reeves operated Diotoir, and yes it's on YouTube. Ant from Behemoth has a little strop. That time Jeremy Clarkson was nearly decapitated. Craig's other '90s technology-based game show gets the G&TV treatment. Every Craig Charles outro poem, Part 1. Aaaaaand, here's Part 2.

Come, rest your tired ears on our giant rack. As sure as 2 follows 1, so it is that 3 follows 2 and Ian, Danny and Cappsy have a good read of the third Smegazine issue. Also featured: Badge talk! The End end! Danny vs Cappsy quiz! Caption competition results! Letters! Slander!Show notes Why the Cat's introduction frame in the comic strip is a Tory. Cappsy mentions a video of a cat spooning food into its mouth. Here is said TikTok video, reposted onto Twitter for the benefit old people. One of thousands of incidents of deadly spiders being found in bananas. One of the good fan fictions: Homecoming by Paul Giachetti.

In a small break from our regularly scheduled programming (and while we figure out what commentary we want to do next) we've put together another tottering stack of waffles for you you cram into your eager maws. Just how much of this episode is devoted to talking about cats? Who will Danny impersonate this time? Will Cappsy be hearing from the RSPCA's lawyers? Find out!Show notes Advert for Flying Horse energy drink which explores the physics of cat / toast interactions. The safest way to drop a cat from a tower block. The buttered toast phenomenon. Dad barred from kids' school for accidentally wearing rude Red Dwarf t-shirt. 'Suggestion for a DwarfCast' forum thread. Caitlin Moran being a twat about Red Dwarf fans. Our Vindalunar live blog and the YouTube  "highlights". Handy Andy's Andy Warhol Handy Wall Holders.

It's time to get back on the rack (get used to that one, because we might have to use it every episode) as Ian, Cappsy and Danny continue trawling through the sticky pages of the Smegazine and, as tradition dictates, Issue #2 follows Issue #1... so here we are. Before you press play, be sure to have the issue in front of you in your PDF viewer of choice so you at least have a slight chance of knowing what the actual balls we're talking about.Show notes Three Wolf Moon The Reconstructed Heart, which aired in September 1992 in the end, not February. Sonic The Comic didn't start until March 1993 actually, Ian. Cappsy's two favourite piece of Red Dwarf fan fiction - The Last Temptation of Kryten by Richard Street and The Plan by Seb Patrick. The elusive Video Competition attachment has been located! Screenshots here: One - Two - Three - Four

Carrotists assemble, for it is time to travel back to the time of violent revolution, flamboyant trousers, Le Pimpernel Scarlet and *very* suspicious sausages as DwarfCasts continue its series of 'Dwarf adjacent commentaries' with the classic episode of Blackadder the Third, Nob and Nobility. We also take the opportunity to talk at length about our love for the show while answering your Bladder specific waffles.Show notes Behind the scenes footage of the Blackadder Goes Forth rehearsals. Red Dwarf finished 18th in the BBC's 2004 Britain's Best Sitcom poll. Tom Blades performed the guitar solo for Red Dwarf's opening titles, but Howard Goodall can't remember if it was him or Ian Lawes on Blackadder. The opening credits to The Flashing Blade - a possible inspiration for The Black Adder.

Ok everyone, put on your baseball caps on backwards, wear clashing colours, like Morrisey, 'pop' an 'e', sing 'Barcelona', be surprised at Denmark winning the Euros, experience the same dates on the same days as you will in 2020 and correctly believe Sonic to be superior to Mario because we're going back to 1992! In the first of what will be... *checks*... a lot of fucking DwarfCasts we're going through every issue of the Smegazine one by one, until we be done. Ian's read them all exhaustively over the years, and for whatever reason Danny and Cappsy... haven't. What's going to happen??Show notes

Once in every lifetime, Comes a 'Cast like this, Oh, we need you and you need us, Oh my darlings can't you watch The Young Ones along with us after the pips and then stick around afterwards for a suitably themed Waffle Men?Show notes Adam Buxton's ramble chat with Charlie Brooker Alexei Sayle's Imaginary Sandwich Bar Man ejaculated out of anus and urinated faeces for two years. More at 10. The Two Ninnies CORRECTION: Smith and Jones were in the first series proper of Not The Nine O'Clock News; Ian was thinking of the aborted attempt at a series that was scuppered by a general election being called, which featured only Rowan Atkinson of the later-established cast. Neil's Heavy Concept Album on Spotify Oh, No! Not THEM! title sequence

IT. IS. DONE. 3 men, 4 Books and 16 episodes in just under 16 months. Our series of DwarfCast Book Club finally draws to a close as Ian, Cappsy and Danny wrap up Backwards, with our thoughts on High Midnight and The Difference II. Was Ace's death tossed off too quickly? What noise do popping bones make? Did Rob Grant go too far this time? Find out within!Show notes Take a look at this SCSI socket: Rick and Morty fucking off to another dimension (multiple times) The Waco massacre, three years before Backwards A load of Bolas The alternate ending to the audiobook

It's waffle time! Again! That's right, to mark the occasion of the whole G&T trio being in the same room for the first time since that spiky red cunt fucked everything up for everyone, we thought we'd have another stab at a Wafflemen Special, since the last one seemed to go surprisingly well. So, join the slightly giddy and tipsy Danny, Cappsy and Ian as they heave their enormous, waddling frames in front of the microphone to discuss all the things you see in the banner, AND MORE.

It's been a little while coming, but please take your seats, grab a coffee and arrange your notes because the book club is back and we have a lot of... interesting material to cover. Join a crossed legged Ian, Cappsy and Danny as they wince their way through what is undoubtedly the moment that Rob Grant's Backwards takes a bit of of a turn to the sadistic. But never fear, because Ace also makes his triumphant return, thus signalling that everything will be absolutely fine. Right?Show notes The mid-90s Virtuality system and the that may have influenced AR on Red Dwarf. See also the later VFX1. Valve's Gabe Newell lays out his aspirations for the terrifying future of entertainment Red Dwarf The Movie synopsis Rob's pronunciation of Agonoid names in the audiobook Boston Dynamics' latest shenanigans What if the Earth Stopped spinning? The urban myth of the metal cocktail umbrella up your urethra

For the first time in far, far too long, a small army of Red Dwarf fans laid siege to the Nottingham Crown Plaza last weekend. We called it Dimension Jump XXI, and the last survivors converged on Sunday night to see what they could remember under the glare of our microphone. So join Ian Symes, Fan Club team members Andy Holland, Dan "Pendo" Pendleton and Shelley Smith, plus attendees Dave Billingsley, Si Bromley, Stephen Fletcher, Peter Jones and Jo Sharples as we run through such diverse topics as Lee Cornes meeting his alter ego, Doug Naylor's plans for future projects both?Dwarf and not-quite-Dwarf, Danny John-Jules's reworked lyrics to Tongue Tied, touching tributes, scandalous cheating and taking Johnny Vegas to bed.Show notes Transcript of Doug's video message This year's costume competition entrants Lee Cornes meets Confidence & Paranoia The story of the Partick Thistle Away Subbuteo set Johnny Vegas sings American Pie

Literally no one asked for it, but yet here we are anyway - a whole podcast devoted to Wafflemen, our regular segment from the commentary episodes in which talk about whatever Dwarfy topic you, the listener, so desires. So, join Cappsy, Danny and Ian as they desperately search for something we can cancel Red Dwarf for, finally settle on whether it was Rob or Doug who was the real funny one and generally just, well, waffle on.Show notes Discussion of Ace Rimmer's gay panic Cappsy being an idiot about the Sonic 1 level select code Bread Dwarf is discussed within the inaugral edition of Coffee Lounge Cock Ian's Doctor Who watch-through blog, Curiosity in a Junkyard The YouTube video that Danny wishes he could unsee (WARNING: graphic content, NSFW, click at your own risk):

What's that now? You wanted more backwards stuff in your Backwards novel? Well, have we got the DwarfCast for you! Yes, whether you like it or not, in this episode Cappsy, Ian and Danny go Back to Backworld one last time as Rob Grant forces us to consider the reverse logistics of, let's say, a few too many bodily functions. Thanks Rob.Show notes Cappsy was about a decade out with his timeline of the Star Wars defence system Mitchell and Webb's Rebecca parody The tits and arses of the Czech Backwards book cover

IT. IS. DONE. I feel like we've been going on about milestones quite a lot recently, but to add to our previous BBC-era accomplishment we have now finally recorded a commentary for every single extant episode of TV Red Dwarf! Whether or not this ends up being the last ever remains to be seen, but let's hope we'll be returning to our longest running feature sooner rather than never. Before that, though, join Ian, Danny and Cappsy in this feature length commentary of the Dave era's finest, The Promised Land.

Yes, I'm sorry, I know we asked you to smoke us some kippers and I realise that we gave you a very specific idea about the sort of time you'd expect us back, but sometimes these things take a little longer than expected, ok? The kippers will be fine, we'll have them cold in some kedgeree or something. Please, stop crying. Yes, that's right, your three favourite ace holes have returned with the next instalment of the DwarfCast Book Club, which this time is all about part 2 of Backwards, Smoke me a Kipper, I'll be Back for Breakfast. Why is Louis Pemberton a perfect human being? How did Lewis Pemberton save Red Dwarf? Is Ace really all that great when compared to Lewis Pemberton? Lewis Pemberton? Ian, Danny and Cappsy discuss all that, and more!Show notes Bob Mortimer's Train Guy Armstrong and Miller's RAF pilots Big Train's parody of A Matter Of Life And Death The 1983 Soviet nuclear false alarm incident Some nerds who are way too obsessed with a TV show tell us about Class M planets

Another day, another DwarfCast milestone as we have finally completed our commentaries on all traditionally lengthed Red Dwarf episodes, marking an end to a series of casts going back to 2006. Unless Series XIII comes along, of course. Also, we're going to do The Promised Land in a few weeks. And we'll likely revisit some old episodes if we feel like it. But still. Anyway, join Ian, Cappsy and Danny as they jump between dimensions to see if they can find a reality in which Doug remembers he wrote Dimension Jump and Stoke me a Clipper as they have a jolly old time talking over the final episode of Red Dwarf XI, Skipper.Show notes Matthew Clark's Twitter thread on TV working hours TOS article on Series XI's effects The AA's giant Starbug festering in a car park Official GNP confirmation that Back To Earth isn't Series IX

Welcome to another episode of the Bulc Koob TsacFrawd! It feels like a very, very long time ago that we finished Better than Life but finally we're getting to its sequel! Er, again. Because when it comes to Red Dwarf, sensible continuity is just something that happens to other franchises. So, join Ian Symes, Danny Stephenson and Jonathan Capps as they start their journey into the weird and wonderful world of Rob Grant's Backwards, because All Good Boys Deserve Fatuous opinions of twats.Show notes The Two Ronnies' Mastermind sketch Some examples of the extensive research done into Niagara Falls and nearby mountains Latest "backwards universe" scientific theory updates Markets of Britain, a short film by Lee Titt Doug interviewed by The Independent in 1995 Grant Naylor - the surprising alternative to armadillos A slightly incorrect article about the origins of "Awooga" And a much more amusing tweet from Craig on the subject

We continue our triumphant victory lap of commentaries as we mop up the last few episodes with M-Corp, officially the second best episode of Series XII and a solid favourite of the site in general. Join Cappsy, Ian and Danny as they hope against hope that they haven't got their microphones mixed up with something entirely less savoury.

Well, it's been quite a journey but we're finally here: Last Human is finished. I don't think we realised when we started this endeavour just how interesting the revisiting of Doug's solo novel would be, but I think we've all come out of the other side a little wiser and a lot more weary of acronyms. So, join the last human alive Ian Symes, mankind's final hope Danny Stephenson and the universe's one remaining broccoli farmer Jonathan Capps as they discuss the second half of The Rage and reflect on what is most certainly a very weird and sometimes frustrating book.

It's 10pm, polls are closing across the country and G&T are now projecting that the next DwarfCast will be... Mechocracy! And in the tradition of all good election coverage, we will now force you to listen to some terrible people talk about the results for longer than is strictly necessary, specifically the Right Honourable Cunts of the Scottish NatIanal, Liberal Dannycrats and The Labour & Cappsoperative parties.Show notes Cappsy meant to say "The Next Doctor" instead of "The Two Doctors", the big idiot "Previously on The West Wing" music Post-Series III Hilly in the Smegazine We mention a Seb Patrick fancast article for a series 2 of the Hitchhiker's TV series, but it seems like it was sadly never published so we're probably remembering one boozy weekend in West London with him excitedly pitching it to us.

And so the DwarfCast Book Club advances wearily on, as we continue our re-read (although the failing memories of your hosts means this may as well be a first read) of Doug Naylor's literally seminal novel, Last Human. We're in the final part of the book itself but due to reasons beyond our comprehension it accounts for half of its length so we're splitting it in twain. Join Cappsy, Ian and Danny as they gather round a table at Rita's Kabin and try to figure out what the bloody hell is going on.Show notes Kurzgesagt: What if We Nuke the Moon? Michael McGruder on Tongue Tied Wiki Settle down with a Shincup and catch up with Henry Imbert's YouTube channel

Over Ganymede & Titan's long and illustrious life we have seen many milestones. 3 years long service. 6 years long service. 9 years long service. 12 years long service. 15 years long service... 18 years long service. But today we mark the day we officially commentate on the last truly shit episode of Red Dwarf (so far). Its loomed large over us for months as we approached but three heroes have arrived and slew the great beast, probably with some amusingly juxtapositioned song playing in the background. So now, we present to you the defeated corpse... of Timewave.Show notes Article about Helium-3 Extraction on the moon "I think it's a superfruit" Niki Hutchinson's tweet about the police uniforms There's never been a better time to buy a woollen penis The Red Dwarf Plot Inconsistencies Project

[Insert Holly line relevant to a delayed thing eventually happening here] Yes, it's finally here! Danny, Ian and Cappsy once again put on their best dust jackets, turn on their pink study lamps and somehow defy the laws of gravity to bring you another DwarfCast Book Club! This time around we're putting the chapter Time Fork to bed (but not before marrying it first) as the crew unwittingly murder hundreds in order to free a dangerous psychopath, and Anton Chekhov becomes the sixth Dwarfer.Show notes The debate about what exactly shocked Rimmer about Lister's penis. The first in the series Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs by Pop Culture Detective. I regret to inform you that the abridged version of the book does, in fact, not cut out this wedding night/weeks scene. Thanks Ants. Thants.

Well, I suppose we better talk about what's been going on shouldn't we? As you no doubt know, the world of Red Dwarf has been a busy old place this February with both good and bad news, so we've gathered an emergency council to discuss the recent GNP turmoil, the Fan Club's inaugural (and triumphant) Holly Hop event and Rob Grant's new script, Into the Gloop.

There is a new DwarfCast update! Would you like to install now, in 10 minutes' time or now?Show notes Past Echoes: Ian's musings on Red Dwarf and technology. Since recording, Dave have started repeating Red Dwarf every Friday night. Which kind of proves our point. We tried to find out why Back To Earth isn't available on demand, and to be honest we're now even more confused. We've spoken to Mac and confirmed that he wasn't in Star Wars, despite what IMDB will have you believe. However, we did find a screenshot of a bloke who looks a bit like him, which is probably where the confusion arose from. The Remedy Connected Universe Star Trek DS9's Promenade Directory, with its references to Divadroid and JMC. The Pixar Theory The Tommy Westphall Universe

In accordance with the Seventh Law of Schurfjhsdkjhsvmsdjksbvbmmmmm and of course staying within the restrictions laid out by the Turlslkdfcnekelhhffkghffgfkkfkkkkfkfkkfkfkkff Code, the DwarfCast Book Club returns as we decapitate Doug Naylor's Last Human and inspect it in gristly detail. So, join Cappsy, Danny and Ian as they delve into the omnizone shambles, show you their appendectomy scars and publicly copulate in a marketplace.Show notes Brian Blessed biting through an umbilical cord Correction: the media linked AC/DC to the Night Stalker, not the Zodiac Killer "Carioca" refers to the culture of Rio de Janeiro, and is also a song and dance from the 1930s

As we sit here and hope beyond hope that 2021 will bear as little resemblance to 2020 as humanly possible, here at G&T we're looking to replicate at least one element from the last 12 months: lots of regular DwarfCasts. Whether you think this is a good thing or not is entirely another matter, but never-the-less Ian, Danny and Cappsy have once again gathered to power through the commentaries for Dave Dwarf with Series XII, episode 1, Cured.Show notes "Starring Arnold Rimmer as Barrie" Kris Carter's Drive Room

We did it, everyone. Almost an entire year of consistent podcasting and all it took was a global pandemic and stay at home orders to make it happen. I even bought a proper microphone. So, in a very nice accident of timing, we are rounding out the year with our final book club for Better Than Life, Part 4: The End and After. Danny, Ian and Cappsy gather round the virtual yule log to discuss the shit out of 12 whole pages, before fully embracing the Christmas cheer with some truly awful parsnip waffles.Show notes The truly iconic 'Red Christmas' mobisodes Bill Pearson's spec script for a Red Dwarf Christmas special

It's time for our DwarfCast commentary for the final episode of Red Dwarf XI, Bag of Shite: Polymorph 3. So, before I open the particular can of worms of what we thought about this episode a little too much, please go and listen and find out for your selves what our general feelings towards this episode 4 years after its initial broadcast are. As ever the sentient soundwaves that make up Ian, Cappsy and Danny are present as we put series XI to bed, while digging into their own tasty bedtime snack of waffles.Show notes Ian Boldsworth discusses this episode's audience on RHLSTP The tweet that we accidentally workshopped on mic Ian's document of his complete Doctor Who watchthrough Turns out someone's already done a Red Dwarf style intro for Wall-E

I know we said we'd be back soon but just count yourself lucky we only made you wait an extra week and not almost 40 years. As we get very close to finishing Better Than Life, join the pale, waxy figures of Cappsy, Danny and Ian as they enter The Book Club Time and are after feasting on Part Three: Garbage World. What are the long term narrative implications of Garbage World? Is Polymorph a show to book conversion too far? What could possibly be next for the poor giraffe? For those of you not of a nervous disposition, listen on and find out.Show notes Danny's ancient Garbage World wallpaper Elaine by J. D. Salinger Spaghettification, which is apparently a real thing Those logos are in the nip! - Parts one and two. Featuring the Office of Government Commerce, London 2012 and Ressie 6 The suiteness is her weakness: the woman who's addicted to eating sofas

It's time for a new DwarfCast so grab the keys to your new sports car, leave your partner for someone younger, buy a new wardrobe of designer clothes, spend too much money on sunglasses, trade in your sports car for a motorbike, give an unsolicited shoulder massage to an acquaintance, tell everyone about your eclectic music taste, retweet Emma Kennedy, get a tribal tattoo, have your bits pierced, be a sex tourist in East Asia, trade in your motorbike for a different sports car, stick a deck chair up your nose, go see Ricky Gervais stand-up, sit alone at a nightclub bar, launch an ill fated music career, vote Lib Dem, place your best cloche on your head and listen to our commentary for Krysis...Show notes Plasma Disc Prop on Kryten's Chest Cloche.txt in the Red Dwarf XI Game Etymology of the word Concerto on Wikipedia

Sit down, get comfy, put on your favourite Paul Robeson track and blow the dust off your, er, dust covers because we're back with another Book Club! Join the emaciated husks of Danny, Ian and Cappsy as they tackle Better Than Life Part Two: She Rides and discuss the first ever instance of the show stealing from the books as well as the very meaning of relative time dilation in an amazingly compressed space. And giraffes.

After a bit of a rest we're back with another commentary, continuing to mercilessly cleave through the the Dave era. Next on our hit list is Officer Rimmer, and whether or not we can get over the fact that it ended way too abruptly and actually talk about the episode itself is something you will have to discover yourself by listening, but what I will tell you that our commentary is followed by another edition of Waffle Men in which we delve into the history of telethons and logos.Show notes Cappsy's Red Dwarf XI: The Game - Officer Rimmer Playthrough. The trolley problem. The Blue Midget Children in Need sketch is the available on the VIII DVD. It's out now! Comic Relief - Bohemian Rhapsody. The Comic Relief "give us your smegging money you smegging smeg heads" bit is on the IV DVD and definitely nowhere else. Amnesty International's Big 30 Message Andy Spence and his large portfolio

In what will surely test the very limits of the phrase "worth the wait" we're back with our DwarfCast Book Club (patent applied for)! After a short break, Ian, Danny and Cappsy are ready and willing to dive into Better Than Life; starting, uncontroversially, with Part 1: Game Over as our time in the deadly TIV comes to an end.

Are you ready for some hot G&T on G&T action? Well, ready or not Ian Symes, Danny Stephenson and Jonathan Capps are here to perform life altering surgery on your astonished ears and find out whether Give & Take really is the best episode of the series. As if that isn't enough, be sure to stick around after the main feature to be treated to another edition of Waffle Men, especially if you're a fan of unnecessarily long chats about food.Show notes Red Dwarf XI: The Game - Give & Take Playthrough G&TV Special: Smeg Ups Rough Cut Pre-watershed edits of Series XI, including beeped bollocks. The original version of the FIFA joke, deleted from Entangled. Christine Langan is Red Dwarf's new executive producer whose name Ian couldn't remember Via Clayton Hickman, the Guardian's review of Doctor Who's second ever episode.

It's been a little while but we're back to finish off Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers with Part Three: Earth - a part that is as almost as short as its title. What isn't short, however, is the discussion as Ian Symes, Danny Stephenson and Jonathan Capps gather to mull over the myriad references to It's A Wonderful Life, the nature of reality, and the logistical challenges of spit roasting a giraffe.Show notes Mick Hayes' "Dead Dwarf" wallpaper, among with other priceless works of art. It's A Wonderful Life parodies: A Bit of Fry & Laurie The Simpsons

*sigh* ... There wasn't a single person on board this ship that didn't have a special place in their heart for Seb Patrick. How best to remember this prince among men*? There's so any wonderful stories it's difficult to choose... but we had a good go at it anyway.Show notes We are raising funds in loving memory of our friend, Seb Patrick. The Fuchal Archives Key to the Kingdom on Board Game Geek. When Saturday Comes pays tribute. Beyond The Touchline Cinematic Universe Seb's Weezerology series F1 Colours The forum thread for Seb's secret April Fools joke. Ed Solomon's tribute.

Following on from our 11 year old revelation that DwarfCasting a review is so much easier than writing one, we present to your our thoughts on the documentary series The First Three Million Years. In attendance was the definitive Ian Symes, reused footage of Danny Stephenson from the DVD docs and a five second mention of Jonathan Capps tacked onto the end.Show notes Katy Brand discusses Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers on the Rule of Three podcast (not Power of Three like Ian says). Report on Nick Helm hosting the Series XII premiere. Correction: Ed still holds the record for number of episodes directed (40) over Doug (26 inc. co-directed). Correction: Clive Dunn was in fact 48 when Dad's Army started, but the point still stands.

Hello! I hope everyone's doing alright. What seems like several years ago (but was actually August 1st), we recorded our commentary for Samsara. So, put simply, here it is.Show notes Marlon Brando "resurrection" by Rhythm and Hues. Red Dwarf XI: The Game - Samsara Playthrough. Pre-watershed edits of Series XI, including skellington blowjobs. A Prince Among Men theme tune. Simulants' Revenge on TOS. The full extent of G&T's previous Simulants' Revenge coverage. Since recording we've got a hold of a copy, so watch this space for more coverage soon! Cappsy would also like to retract his statement that there are no good mobile games from that era, as he's since dug out his old Nokia and got re-addicted to Chu-Chu Rocket.

Well, strap in everyone, because this is a longun. Once again Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes gather within the digital realm to discuss the fuck out of Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, specifically, Part Two: Alone in a Godless universe, and out of Shake'n'Vac. How many times can the book rob the TV show blind? What do Grant Naylor have against Brian Kidd, anyway? And was it Lister or the robot fish that broke the Cat's tuth? Endure all 2 hours, 12 minutes and 47 seconds of our chat to find out!Show notes Some empty swimming pools. I had to have a lie down after Googling this. The Wikipedia page for the 1966-67 FA Cup. Swansea Town woz robbed. History of a Joke - the four different versions of Grant Naylor's decative material We love Kris Carter. We also quote a few Smegazine and BTL interviews in this, but there are no open links to these, so...

With the BBC episodes well and truly commentaried, we now turn our insatiable appetite to the Dave era, starting with Twentica. Danny Stephenson, Ian Symes and Jonathan Capps once again preside over discussions as they find out if one their favourite episodes from the series has stood the test of time before digging into another pile of Waffles.Show notes Cappsy's playthrough of the Twentica episode of the Red Dwarf XI mobile game. Our Twentica review from the time. The full Tongue Tied video on YouTube. Have fun. Turns out I didn't imagine it, SwapitShop was a real website in the early 2000s. A picture of Rimmer's Tool Kit, sans condom, and the forum thread Ian references during the discussion of said Tool Kit

Hello, and welcome to the inaugural edition of the DC/BC. For those who are about to re-read the Red Dwarf novels at a set pace and discuss each part with the community, we salute you. Join Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps and Danny Stephenson as they embark on what has already turned out to be a bigger undertaking than first thought, as they pick the bones out of Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers Part One: Your Own Death, and How to Cope With It. Was McIntyre literally carrying his nose in a Mimas Hilton Coffee Lounge napkin? Was Bliss this book's Chekhov's false water pistol? How many times can we make obvious Hitchhiker's comparisons? All these questions, and more, not actually answered in any meaningful way.Show notes Chinese traffic jams get close to rivalling Mimas. Even the smallest moon in our Solar System is bigger than Red Dwarf, so let's just say it's an asteroid that's lodged in the side of the ship. Danny mentions that they add a "1" each time to Holly's IQ in White Hole in the same manner of the crew's number expanding. This is, in fact, absolute bollocks.. The Son of Cliché 'Freshers' exam sketch that was re-purposed in The End and IWCD (enjoy the old G&T link! We should probably get these last few bits moved over to the new site...)

IT. IS. DONE. Almost 14 years after Jonathan Capps and treachery's Seb Patrick spoke over Thanks for the Memory from their little flat above an excellent curry house in London's fashionable London, G&T's three remaining survivors have ticked off the 52nd and final episode commentary of the BBC era. And we've saved a quite good one for last. So, join Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps and Danny Stephenson as they discuss Marooned, arguably the best episode from the slightly creaky but very beloved series III before offering their thoughts on the series as a whole before serving up a giant pile of waffles (men, Waffle Men).Show notes Did Marooned's dodgy CSO effect make John's low list in High & Low: Special Effects? (no) The Arthur Matthews' Father Ted character Ian was thinking of is called Mrs. Boyle, not Mrs. Dineen. The idiot. The full TOS archives of the Talkie Toaster interviews. Introducing the DwarfCast Book Club, our fortnightly read-along of them there Red Dwarf books. For however long you've been listening, thanks for sticking with us.

One sleepy Sunday morning the Ganymede & Titan team gathered on a call, turned on their webcams and Blue themselves. We now present to you, in full, the audio presentation of this event. Join Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson, Frank Waffleman, Muffin and the occasional rustling of Cappsy's beard as they discuss what could be the stealth best episode of series VII. This is, of course, the final commentary we needed to do for this series so there's also some general VII chat, as well as some lovely waffles.Show notes The "number 42" advert is obviously a fever dream of Cappsy's own devising Red Dwarf VII: The Early Drafts - Ian compares the visual effects scripts against what was eventually shot #DJrevisited - The Fan Club do a good job filling the gap left by the delayed DJ XXI Red Dwarf Mobisodes and Red Christmas on YouTube The quite broken web archived version of red-dwarf.mobi Red Dwarf trailers on YouTube - The total extent of Cappsy's Waffle Men research

In what is quickly becoming something close to a nasty habit, we're back once again with another episode commentary. And today is a day for both joy and joy, as we finally put Series VIII to bed with the long, long overdue commentary for Cassandra. Danny Stephenson, Jonathan Capps and Ian Symes once again convene to discuss this episode's title of 'the good one in series viii', the nature of predeterminism, and to offer a surprisingly generous appraisal of series VIII's position in Red Dwarf history. As if all that wasn't *quite* enough for your poor ears to handle, we've also got an especially waffly edition of Waffle Men in which we get far more self reflective than is entirely necessary.

If we have to watch the shit bits, then you do too. In the first of a two part series of taking another stab at an abandoned commentary from years ago, Danny Stephenson, Ian Symes and Jonathan Capps dig into a tepid bowl of Duct Soup. So, put on your best bed sheet, grab a tin of pineapple chunks and ensure there are at least two opposing players between you and the goal at the moment the ball is played forward as we discuss the only time in Dwarf history that the crew gave a shit about what Kochanski thinks, Lister's various phobias and more.

As if your podcast queue wasn't full enough! Yes, after squandering a good few months of lockdown (to be fair, one of us has been fairly busy with being a new parent) the G&T commentaries are making a return! Join Ian Symes, Danny Stephenson and Jonathan Capps as we gather remotely to talk over Parallel Universe, a sometimes controversial episode that always seems to hover towards the bottom of episode polls. We discuss the approach to gender politics the episode takes (yey) as well as tackling lighter questions such as: what can't Cheggers be?

With brand new Red Dwarf back on our screens, no pesky lockdown was going to prevent us from forcing our semi-formed, barely-thought-through opinions on you via a live platform. The entire G&T team of Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes logged on to the G&T Towers remote access point, as did our guests Phil Pagett, Jo Sharples and Shelley Smith. And there was much to talk about over the course of two damn hours, including giant floppy disks, fake deaths, moonlight, a bit of unfortunate outdated language, the new Gary Glitter of space, surprising siblings, a more fitting name for the Anubis Stone, and men of painted neck. For the first time ever, we bothered to properly integrate the Skype feed into our broadcasting console, rather than just turning the speakers up loud enough to be picked up by the microphone in the room and hoping for the best. It worked a little too well on the night, with the Skype correspondents much higher in the mix than the people behind the desk, but we've managed to tweak the levels a little for this catch-up version, to provide a slightly less irritating listening experience.

Fire up your podcast feed, abandon a baby in a pub and shoot an alternate version of your ex-girlfriend with a harpoon gun, because the latest victim of the DwarfCast commentary treatment is Ouroboros, the Xtended version no less. And as it tradition for the less good episodes of Red Dwarf, it falls to the double act of Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes to do the honours, because nobody else could face it. So join them as they continuously fail to remember which bits are Xtended and which aren't, and complain about the awkward pauses added by the process, while also leaving their own awkward pauses. Nevertheless, there's plenty to discuss, including JMC's fickle uniform policy, comparisons between what's on screen and what was in an early draft of the script, how to make a disintegrator, the incestuous implications of the episode's big twist and exactly what "hospital corners" means. Oh, and the "you're lying" thing comes up every now and then.

No, really. Ahead of their new sketch show pilot The Nether Regions airing on BBC Radio 4 on Thursday 24th October at 11pm, Rob Grant and Andrew Marshall invited your intrepid DwarfCast team of Ian Symes, Danny Stephenson and Jo Sharples for a big old chat at Rob's kitchen table. We touched upon the "terrifying" experience of performing in front of an audience, the intricacies of their writing process, the sketches and characters that didn't make the final cut, their "bloody magnificent" producer Gordon Kennedy, and also got the latest on Quanderhorn Series 2. And yes, we also discussed another show that Rob co-created, covering his experiences at Dimension Jump, being back on set for the first time since the 90s, and the possibility of him ever writing for Red Dwarf again. All this, plus 2point4 Children, Son of Cliché, Strange, Week Ending and how Rob's The Strangerers caused unexpected problems for one of Andrew's series. We also grill Andrew about his connection to Marvin The Paranoid Android, get Rob's thoughts on the proposed return of Spitting Image, his friendship with Martin Kemp, and how he pissed off Billy Ocean when they were both on Top of the Pops. A huge, huge thank you to Rob and Andrew for their candid, thoughtful and hilarious interview.

Following last week's celebration of Series XII's second anniversary, we're back to celebrate Series XII's second second anniversary, with what's possibly the happiest and most overall positive DwarfCast we've ever done on the subject of Dave-era Red Dwarf. It's Byte Two of our series retrospective, with John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes returning to ruminate on Mechocracy, M-Corp and Skipper, as well as assessing the series, and indeed the XI and XII production block, as a whole. Along the way we discuss alternative pronunciations of "Mechocracy", how episodes of Red Dwarf are in fact cobbled together from CCTV footage, invisible dildos, the logistics of owning planets, why Mr Rat is a fried egg chilli chutney sandwich face, and alternative pronunciations of the word "grimace". Because this was recorded several months ago, there's also speculation that Skipper might be the last ever episode of Red Dwarf, which seems increasingly less likely after the events of the last few days, but never mind.

We published the first part of our Series X semi-retrospective two months after the first episode aired. For Series XI, we waited five months. Today is the second anniversary of Series XII launching on UKTV Play, so I guess it's time to admit that we no longer have a "semi" on our hands. Yes, having finally given up on the plan to get all five of us together in one room, join 80% of the G&T team - namely John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes - as we look back on Cured, Siliconia and Timewave. Revisiting the episodes with fresh eyes and ears, we analyse how they stand up now that they're no longer brand new, and track how our opinions have changed since our initial instant reactions. Spoilers: we're still not keen on Timewave. Along the way we discuss Doug's obsession with castration, Uncle Frank's questionable true nature, the purpose of James Buckley, a surfeit of MILFs, how annoying it is to have coffee poured on one's bollocks, and how to fix the "spit on her wrist" joke with one simple word substitution.

That’s 100th DwarfCast. Not 100th PodCast like you and Skeletor think. Very nearly thirteen whole years ago, a group of young and self-important Red Dwarf fans decided to tip their toes into the barely-chartered waters of podcasting, unleashing their verrucas into the world with the first edition released on October 1st 2006. The fact that it's taken this long for the hundredth episode to come out should be a source of embarrassment and regret, but instead, brace yourself for the most self-indulgent and smug thing we've ever done: a documentary about ourselves, which runs for nearly an hour and a half. Join Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Daniel Stephenson and Ian Symes for a look back on the history, highlights and lowlights of what is undoubtedly a podcast about Red Dwarf, ably assisted by a former regular making a one-off guest appearance many years later, reddwarf.co.uk editor Seb Patrick. We discuss the origins of DwarfCasts, the evolution of our style from ill-informed dickheads to slightly-better-informed dickheads, how the Back To Earth weekend nearly tore the group apart, and the difficulties faced when one of your hosts is on the verge of death in intensive care when he's supposed to be doing a live podcast. There's also music, testimonies from loyal listeners, and tonnes of clips of our best and worst moments - including snippets from the proto-DwarfCast episode commentaries recorded by a barely-pubescent Ian and John, previously not heard in the last fifteen years. Thankfully.

May 2019. Broadcunting House lies abandoned, a layer of dust coating its various microphones, laptops and indigenous cats. Suddenly, a door opens, a switch is flicked, and a light bulb slowly stutters into life. From the shadows emerge four mysterious, yet sexy, figures. An ancient warning system is triggered, issuing a familiar call to arms. "Awooga", it cries, "this is a DwarfCast". And it bloody well is. It's only the third one since Series XII finished, and the first regular episode commentary that we've bothered to release since September 2017. We are back.

It's been eight days since the start of the twentieth Dimension Jump convention, honouring the thirtieth anniversary of Red Dwarf, and to be honest we still haven't fully recovered. If you're looking for a comprehensive, chronological and coherent guide to what happened over the weekend, you won't find that here (Gazpacho Soup's social media roundup does a good job of that). Instead, we waited until the early hours of Monday morning, when everyone was at their most tired and emotionally involved, and gathered whichever attendees and team members were still around, regardless of their levels of energy or sobriety. It offers a fairly accurate snapshot of the mind of your average Red Dwarf fan having come to the end of such a special weekend. Our random anecdotes and memories include our reactions to the weekend's bits and bobs for Dwarf news - ie. the current status of the Blurays and Series XIII, behind the scenes goss about the time Jo accidentally stalked Charles Augins, speculation as to the contents of a "honeymoon video", adventures in urinals with three former Red Dwarf producers, complaints about a lack of biscuits, and a very rude story about Clare Grogan and a glass of milk.

To celebrate Red Dwarf's 30th anniversary, we took the airwaves (and indeed to the booze) to have a bit of a party. In a rambling, meandering and slightly shambolic show weighing in at well over two hours long, the entire G&T team - Cappsy, John, Tanya, Danny and Ian - plus special guest Jo Sharples, gathered to discuss the Pearl Poll results in very fine detail, reveal how our own preferences stack up to the general consensus, attempt our first live episode commentary on The End, and open the show up to the listeners in a chaotic phone-in free-for-all, which touched on subjects such as the Smegazines, the differences between the solo novels, Red Dwarf USA, and one hundred duck-sized Norman Lovetts.

Last Friday morning - a mere twelve hours after Skipper had landed on UKTV Play - a DwarfCast splinter group consisting of Ian Symes, Danny Stephenson and Jo Sharples descended on returning guest star Mac McDonald's house, and he foolishly decided to let us in, for the second time in as many years. Later that night, we played you a brief snippet during the Live DwarfCast, but our conversation was long and rambling, so here's the full-length uncut version. Our rambling chat touched upon all manner of Skipper-related topics, such as last-minute script amendments, the similarities between Mac and Hollister, the benefits of budget constraints, Doug's approach as a director and what happened to Hollister after Series VIII. We also touched upon such diverse topics as lost luggage, being cast in Batman, Donald Trump, pornography, moustaches and tales from the rehearsals of the Red Dwarf Movie.

It's the final live DwarfCast of the series, and this very special occasion is marked with an almost full set of G&Ters gathering in the same room at the same time. John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes, along with returning guest star Jo Sharples of the Red Dwarf Fan Club, came armed a whole heap of opinions on the series finale, and a few surprises up our sleeves, the most exciting of which is an exclusive interview with...

In what is possibly a first for G&T, a consensus has been formed regarding the quality of a new episode, and it's not negative. To document this momentous occasion, 80% of the team - namely Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones and Ian Symes - congregated to explain exactly how this has come about, along with our excellent guests Jo Sharples and Shelley Smith, both of the Official Red Dwarf Fan Club. Join us for noticeably jollier than average discussion about all things M-Corp, including perception filters, word counts, virtual worlds, puppetry, birthday presents, startup sounds, vibrators, radio jingles, and whether or not cats wank. We also round up Richard Naylor's revelations on Mechocracy, find ourselves once again pondering the possibility of a Red Dwarf Movie, and look ahead to what appears to be a jam-packed series finale.

Dust off your rosettes and buff up your ballot box, it's time for the strong and stable podcast that caters for the few, not the many. Mechocracy is this week's political hot potato, but G&T failed to return a majority, so John Hoare and Ian Symes entered into a coalition of chaos with Joey Newsome and Carrie Parsons of the Fan Club, and independent member Curtis Threadgold. Topics on the agenda include manipulative mopping, surprise re-appearances, how many times Rimmer has killed himself, smear campaigns, the women of Doncaster, and how many letters there are in the names of various colours. We also find time to squeeze in Some News, look ahead to M-Corp and end on an impromptu examination on how the Dave era is perceived.

Who'd have thought it: the episode about a place where criticism is illegal is the one that's attracted more criticism than any other this series. Join John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson, Ian Symes and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples for a spot of criticising, castigating, chiding, blaming, harping, panning and scoffing at Timewave. It's not pretty at times, but I'd like to think we at least covered the reasons why we reacted so badly to the episode, and we were aided by two fantastic guests - Shelley Smith and Dan Pendleton - to give their perspectives on some of the trickier topics. The brilliant subjects that we really enjoyed discussing to death included the problematic portrayal of the Enconium's crew, Cat's problematic attitude to women, unresolved plots, repetitive jokes and speedy resolutions. Plus, for the second week in a row we discuss the word "clitoris" and Operation Yewtree, although not at the same time. On the plus side, there are positive comments at a rate of roughly one every twelve minutes, a brief preview of the next episode, and... well, the intro music's pretty catchy this week.

Whose idea was it to do a live DwarfCast on Friday 13th? This was supposed to be the first glorious coming together of the entire G&T team this series, but while Jonathan Capps and Danny Stephenson successfully dialled in to join Ian Symes and "guest" Jo Sharples at G&T Towers, John Hoare and Tanya Jones were stuck in traffic as a result of a local stabbing. Would they make it to Broadcunting House in time to discuss all things The One Where Everyone's Kryten with us? Tune in to find out, as well as discovering which side of the "best episode in years"/"worst episode in years" axis we all sit, the implications of Rimmer's dream of being a fish, the difference between a MILF and a clitoris, and the origins of Baby Don't Be Ovulating Tonight. Plus, we round up all the latest news we've neglected to write about properly, give our thoughts on the latest UKTV Play controversy, and do a live audio-only taste-test of some actual Leopard Lager.

The long wait is finally over. Red Dwarf is BACK and so are our LIVE DwarfCasts - in a change from Series XI, these are now happening at UKTV pace, meaning they're back to being (almost) Instant Reactions. First up, a rather under-strength G&T team was represented by Ian Symes, joined by a trio of guests: Jo Sharples of The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club fame, Helena Raymonde of hanging round car parks with Robert Llewellyn fame, and Clayton Hickman of actual fame. Yes, the former editor of Doctor Who Magazine and writer for The Sarah Jane Adventures and Wizards vs Aliens popped round to G&T Towers to chat all things Cured. Topics included Hitler, wheelchair ramps, shooting someone in the face, UKTV Originals branding, Hitler again, Stalin's lookalikes, the quality of Series XII's special effects, the quality of Series XII's episode titles, more Hitler, and whether or not Lister should just fuck off.

With just over a month until Red Dwarf XII debuts on Dave (and most likely just under a month until it debuts on UKTV Play), what the world needs right now is another discussion about Series VII. Luckily, we've picked one of the better episodes of that particular run as the subject for our latest commentary. Get ready to update your spreadsheets at home, and tick off Stoke Me A Clipper. Join Cappsy, Danny, Ian and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples (who, by the way, has recently announced the dates for the next Dimension Jump), as we discuss such diverse topics as the perils of a cold opening for a small child, Craig Charles's secret past as a Leeds United supporter, the similarities between Ace Rimmer and Ford Prefect, another early role on Red Dwarf for Richard Naylor, plastikkrokodil and why Lister's tie is so shiny. Plus, we offer up a possible solution to a plot hole that's been bugging Cappsy for over twenty years.

It can't have escaped anyone's attention that things have been a bit slow on the old DwarfCast front of late. It's becoming increasingly difficult to get sufficient numbers of us together in the same room, but we managed to gather three on a Friday night last month. And how did we mark this rare and joyous occasion? By watching the fourth worst Red Dwarf episode of all time. You're welcome. So join Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson, Ian Symes and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples as we discuss mostly the bad bits of Only The Good..., covering such diverse topics as how to amuse yourself in prison, multiple piss-poor fonts, Danny John-Jules's cracking set of pins, having it off with Hollister, what the opposite of lemon is, and Richard Naylor's first producer job.

It has now been a full seven days since the start of The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club's nineteenth convention, but the feeling of elation is yet to wear off, along with the taste of the booze and the total physical and mental exhaustion. To preserve the memories for years to come, as well as to fill in those who were unable to attend, a merry band of extremely tired people congregated in a hotel room on the Sunday night to record the traditional post-DJ DwarfCast.

All around the world, Red Dwarf fans have been on tenterhooks for the past seven days, desperately longing to find out the G&T team's semi-retrospective thoughts on the second half of Series XI. Rejoice, because the moment you've been waiting for his finally here, as Cappsy, John, Tanya, Danny and Ian conclude their revisit by documenting their thoughts on Officer Rimmer, Krysis and Can of Worms, as well as touching on the DVD/Bluray release, conclusions on the series as a whole, and the forthcoming Series XII.

Yes, DwarfCasts are finally back, following a four month wait between the end of Series XI and a day on which almost all of us could be in the same room. Has this additional thinking time enabled us to process our thoughts on the series enough to provide a coherent and insightful analysis as to where it went right and where it went wrong, or will it be the usual mix of ranting, swearing and giggling? Join Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson (down the line from our Yorkshire branch) and Ian Symes to find out.

So here we are, after seven weeks Red Dwarf XI has finally been released in its entirety and so ends our own immediate coverage of the series. At least until the DVD and Bluray come out, that is! So, for the final time this year, please join Ian Symes, Tanya Jones, John Hoare, Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and perma-guest Jo Sharples as they pick through the final episode and the series as a whole and try to work out where XI currently places in the pantheon of Dwarf.

As we hurtle towards series end, we gather to analyse the living fuck out of Krysis. Join Ian Symes, John Hoare (in his triumphant return to the land of the not hospitalised), Tanya Jones, Daniel Stephenson and Jonathan Capps along with the Fan Club's Jo Sharples as they lift their respective cloches, revealing the tasty, tasty opinions within.

Prepare yourself for a damn good Rimming as we round up our immediate post-broadcast coverage of Officer Rimmer in our live reaction DwarfCast, presented to you here to be enjoyed at your leisure. Join Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson, the Fan Club's Jo Sharples as they thrash through the many talking points generated by the episode, and try to pick through the many and varied opinions generated. Oh, and we also have a massive moan about UKTV Play.

Rounding out our immediate coverage of Give & Take we now present to you the archived version of this Thursday's LIVE DwarfCast, where we dissected the episode for all of its jucy, jucy kidneys. Present were Ian Symes, Tanya Jones, Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson, the Fan Club's Jo Sharples and an intermittently snoring and purring black short hair called CJ. Discussion topics this week include the large number of talking points generated by the episode, as well as some breaking DVD news, speculation as to how the mobile game will eventually represent the events of the episode and finally a preview of what's to come next week / today.

Samsara sara, whatever will be will be. The future's not ours to see, so instead, head very slightly into the past with this downloadable version of Thursday night's live reaction DwarfCast for Samsara. Jonathan Capps, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson, Ian Symes and TORDFC's Jo Sharples were on hand to talk you through all their complicated feelings about the episode, along with some little known facts, an update on Red Dwarf XI: The Game, a preview of Give & Take and a round-up of the latest Dwarfy news, including the DVD details, a teased plot for Series XII and more rumblings about a stage show.

Message incoming: G&T are back with their first live DwarfCast in nearly four years. Consequently there's a bit of rustiness, and an inexplicable moment where the host gets the name of his star guest wrong even though he's reading from a script, but there's also a tremendous amount of laughs, breaking news and searing insight, as Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes are joined by guests Alex Newsome, Joey Newsome, Tom Pyott and Jo Sharples to discuss all things Twentica. As well as the biggest and smallest talking points from the episode, we also cover the fan screening event, first impressions of Red Dwarf XI: The Game, some preliminary spoiler-free previewing of Samsara and to cap it all. an exclusive interview with Big Bang Beryl herself Rebecca Blackstone, presented for the first time at an audible level.

It's the end! No, wait, the opposite of that. It's The Beginning, as we draw our coverage of Series X to a close, just in time for the coverage of Series XI to begin. Join Jonathan Capps (via Skype), Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson, Ian Symes and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples as we discuss such burning issues as how many of the Rimmer brothers are illegitimate, what Arnold's dying words actually were, including whether or not he even said "gazpacho soup" in the first place, and our feelings on Series X as a whole, with the benefit of nearly four years of thinking time. Plus, we bring you a round-up of all the major Red Dwarf XI news that didn't make it to the front page of G&T in the last week, and the long-awaited announcement of how exactly we'll be covering the new series, bearing in mind that the release schedule for each episode is a confusing, divisive mess. Listen to the DwarfCast for far too much detail about our reasoning, but the short version is this: Live DwarfCasts at broadcast pace. Written material at online pace. Discussion threads for both. Everyone gets some coverage asap after they’ve watched it, and nobody has to miss out on anything they can't catch up on. Let’s make the TV broadcast the big event, and treat the online releases as an optional preview.

Rejoice as we finally reach everyone's favourite episode of Series X, Dear Dave. Your intrepid team - Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson, Ian Symes and TORDFC's Jo Sharples - tackle such topics as the nature of the JMC on-board computer, the best burial place for a shit episode, Alphonse Areola, and a potential spin-off series for Asso: Spanish Detective. Oh, and sexism. Let's see if this shitty little (mostly) boys' club can sort out that thorny problem once and for all. But before all that, a round-up of the latest Red Dwarf XI news, and all the details you need to get your hands of one of five pairs of tickets to Dave's exclusive fan screening of the first two episodes. Yes, you have to listen to the actual DwarfCast in order to get the instructions, but don't worry, it's quite near the start.

By a remarkable coincidence, our run of Series X commentaries continues with Entangled. Join Cappsy, Ian, John, Tanya and TORDFC's Jo Sharples as we discuss such topics as Chris Barrie's status as an attractive man, a particularly obscure Doctor Dwarf moment, burnt tea, whether it's better to kill a chimp or a woman, and shoving spoons up one's arse. Plus, considering this was recorded months ago, some remarkably prescient comments about the release schedule of trailers, and Britain's relationship with the European Union. But wait! There's more. At the end of a particularly busy week of Red Dwarf XI news, Ian and Danny provide a fairly waffley round-up of all the little bits we've noticed, including a deeper look at the shots from the teaser that didn't make it into the full trailer.

Our countdown to the launch of Series XI - whichever of the two launch dates you choose to acknowledge - continues as we present our commentary for the third episode of Series X, Lemons. Recorded a few weeks after the last two commentaries, join Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Ian Symes and TORDFC's Jo Sharples as we propose an alternative ending to the Shakespeare running gag, have a remarkably prescient discussion about the option to watch Red Dwarf on UKTV Play (despite recording this in May), debate the canonical status of Still Open All Hours, speculate about Doug Naylor's arse, and attempt to establish whether or not Jesus Christ really existed. Let’s see if this room full of atheists can sort out that thorny problem once and for all.

Yes, we've stuck to something for two weeks in a row. Here's the second of our Series X commentaries, which predictably enough covers Fathers & Suns. John, Danny, Ian and TORDFC's Jo Sharples return to discuss such matters as how much help Lister got in creating his video, how this is the show's third Holly-centric episode, Alf Garnett, and a hidden cock and balls. Oh, and racism. Let's see if this room full of white people can sort out that thorny problem once and for all. As well as that, we bring you an excessively angry one-man rant about UKTV's decision to premiere Red Dwarf XI episodes online a week before broadcast, and how this is going to play merry havoc with our content plan, along with the rest of the news from the last seven days.

We estimate that we're about six to seven weeks away from the first broadcast of Red Dwarf XI. What better way to clear the decks ahead of the new series than by wrapping up our coverage of the last one? Over the next six weekends, we'll be marking the countdown to new Dwarf by releasing weekly commentaries for all six episodes of Series X. Unless XI starts earlier than we're anticipating, in which case we'll either rush them all out or pretend the whole thing never happened.

Years after we first started these commentaries we've managed to tick another series off the list, this time with Series V, as we mop up Demons & Angels. Join Jonathan Capps, Ian Symes, John Hoare, Tanya Jones and TORDFC's Jo Sharples as we unpick one of the show's more unusual episodes and arguably the show's best series.

Okay, suckers. Get this into your stupid thick heads. There's only one thing I'm going to say to you: please listen to our episode commentary for Queeg. Danny, John, Ian and TORDFC's Jo Sharples gather around to discuss such topics as Ed Bye's directorial flair, the nature of Holly's consciousness, how the show might have developed had Norman Lovett stayed on, and the surface area of peas. There's also a somewhat startling new theory about how long Holly's joke lasted - was "Queeg" actually in charge for five months? Join us for an uncharacteristically competent chinwag.

Somewhat foolishly, film star, comedy veteran and Space Corps captain Mac McDonald willingly allowed two members of the G&T team to enter his home. This is the resultant conversation, which takes in such topics as duetting with Dolly Parton, being terrified of Sean Connery, illicit sexual encounters during the filming of Series 1, cereal and fat jokes. Ian Symes is your host, and his posse consists of Danny Stephenson and Jo Sharples. An enormous thank you to Mac for his time, hospitality and pecan cake.

You heard. It's two for the price of one, although double nothing is still nothing. Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes continue their odyssey to watch the shit bits so that the rest of the team don't have to, with occasional interjections from guests Jo Sharples of TORDFC, and Tom Pyott. We tackle the loose two-parter of Epideme and Nanarchy, discussing such diverse topics as the merits of Gary Martin, the practical applications of nanotechnology and recently proposed changes to disability benefits, as well as revealing the fate of the Epideme communicator prop, and proposing a new animated spin-off. We also get a lot of basic facts wrong, get confused about what's happening on-screen and go quiet for a few moments at a time fairly frequently. So it's not very good, but at least it gets another quarter of Series VII out the way.

A potential final ever episode of Red Dwarf has been filmed for the 10th time in 28 years. G&T were there, represented by beardy Yorkshiremen Daniel Stephenson and Jonathan Capps. Join this duo, along with Tom Pyott and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples and Mick Hayes as they attempt to summarise an exciting, confusing and slightly emotional recording. Oh, and apologies for the Brummie barging in half way through; he lives in the same house and there's nothing we could do to stop him.

DwarfCasts is back to ring in the new year with a commentary for Camille. The more observant among you will notice that this marks the completion of the another series, as Red Dwarf IV joins Red Dwarf 1 and Back to Earth in this illustrious club.

To celebrate the dawning of a new year, and to help ease you through the production perineum, DwarfCast commentaries are BACK. And it's a biggie - by popular demand, we tackle Series VI Episode 3 Gunmen of the Apocalypse, which is officially the third best episode of all time.

A full fifth episode of Red Dwarf has been recorded in front of a studio audience for the first time since 1998. G&T were there, in the manly form of Danny Stephenson, along with Jez Harrison of TORDFC. As soon as the episode finished, they raced back to G&T Towers to discuss their findings with Ian Symes, who sneakily recorded their every word. Yes, this week's set report is in DwarfCast form. Listen now to discover why this recording was the longest one yet, how this episode does something that Red Dwarf has never done before, and get the full story behind the shocking fire alarm drama.

To celebrate the extraordinarily imminent commencement of studio recordings for two brand new series of Red Dwarf, the entire G&T team gathered together to summarise everything we know so far, speculate on everything that we don't know, round up the very latest nuggets of news and also answer questions submitted by you, our faithful viewers. So join Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson, Ian Symes and special guest Jo Sharples from the fan club, as we discuss such diverse topics as the availability of abandoned industrial units in southern England, the possibility of song and dance routines appearing in the new series, the utter lack of serifs in the new logo, whether or not there'll be a huge series-spanning story arc, Danny John-Jules's penis and Homes Under The Hammer.

Q. What's the only thing worse than not releasing a new podcast for ages? A. Recording a new podcast and then forgetting you'd done so for the best part of four months.

In a rare departure for Ganymede & Titan, this is an episode commentary that involved preparation and research. Thankfully, all the work was done by Jo Sharples of The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club, who acts as our resident Jane Austen expert as she joins lazy, feckless G&Ters Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes. So join us as we do our best to ignore what's actually happening on screen, in favour of discussing Pride & Prejudice, the elements from the book and various adaptations that make it to the episode, and which P&P characters equate to which Dwarf characters. All this plus the usual brand of swearing and snideyness.

Join a luxuriously big hotel room full of very tired but very happy people, as we pick through the booze-soaked remains of the very latest and very greatest official Red Dwarf convention - Dimension Jump XVIII, held 1st-3rd May 2015 in Nottingham. Your hosts for this bleary-eyed Sunday night missive are G&T's Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes, along with TORDFC team members Joey Cannon, Jez Harrison, Mick Hayes, Alex Newsome, Carrie Parsons, Jo Sharples and Shelley Smith, DJ helpers Kiran Parsons and Melissa Stanley, and attendees/friends Aimi Brear, Simon Peel and Danny Pendleton. Phew.

Hattie Hayridge, the comedian and actress who played Holly in TV's popular Red Dwarf programme, popped round to G&T Towers for a cup of tea, so we shoved a microphone in her face and discussed such topics as the impact and legacy of Red Dwarf, whether it's worth watching any episodes that don't have Hattie in, and a surprising amount about poker. We also asked some of your burning questions, and graciously allowed Hattie to pick her favourite Holly moment for inclusion in the next edition of High & Low. Ian Symes is your host, and his posse consists of Danny Stephenson and Jo Sharples.

Nearly a decade ago, we embarked on a mission to record commentaries for every single episode of Red Dwarf. Progress is slow, and occasionally entire years will pass without an update, but we'll get there eventually. However, getting a high proportion of G&T staffers in the same room at the same is a rare, nay freak occurrence, and so when we actually get a chance to blabber through an episode of our favourite show together, we usually want it to be an episode we actually like. Luckily, two men with strong stomachs and erratic sleeping patterns are on hand to wade through the shit bits when all others have gone home or fallen asleep...

Fans of how Robert Llewellyn pronounces "terror" rejoice as our critical DwarfCasting eyes have finally fallen on the mildly underrated series V episode Terrorform. Join television's Ian Symes, Sweden's Danny Stephenson and disappointment's Jonathan Capps as they discuss Kryten's metaphor hunt, Chris Barrie's slippery pliance, uneven leg joints and, as a special 'treat', the remaining deleted scenes from the Series V DVD.

This DwarfCast contains scenes which are unsuitable for younger viewers and people of a nervous disposition, as we finally get round to babbling on all over Series III episode 3 Polymorph. Recorded on the same night as the Confidence and Paranoia 'cast, but with fewer people and more gin, G&T regulars Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones and Ian Symes and joined by friend of the website Karl Eisenhauer, and no-one else. Listen in for a lengthy discussion about video tape formats, armchair psychology about Rimmer's childhood issues and an in-depth analysis of Robert Llewellyn's big sweaty face.

It seems almost every DwarfCast we put out at the moment comes with us apologising for the delays at the beginning. This particular recording comes from only a few months ago, though, so we're getting closer to a sensible schedule. As Ian noted in the last DwarfCast post, this represents the first series we've completed in the seven years we've been doing these stupid commentaries (save for Back to Earth, but shush) so it's a little bit of a milestone. Consequently, we took the opportunity to have a bit of a post-commentary chat on series 1 in general to wrap things up and generally get back into the swing of this 'talking about Red Dwarf' lark.

Join G&T's Ian Symes and Danny Stephenson, along with hangers-on Rich Lawden, Jezzmund Tutu and Tom Pyott, as we transmogrify your minds and talk all over the top of Series IV episode two DNA. We discuss the unusually high proportion of movie references, Lister's journey to the centre of the moral compass, decades-old editing techniques and the demise of video clubs. We actually recorded this about six months ago, but we've been putting the edit off, due to a tricky situation caused by the coming together of Danny's arse and the 'next chapter' button on the DVD remote. Hopefully you won't see the joins.

Yes, the least reliable Red Dwarf podcast in the universe is BACK. Brilliant. We return once more to the realm of episode commentaries by going almost back to the beginning for Future Echoes. Does it justify its reputation as an all time classic? Is there a pre-determination paradox at play? What's the deal with the light above Lister's bunk? Join us as we fail to answer these questions and more, with G&T regulars Ian Symes and Danny Stephenson joined by very ordinary guests Jezzmund Tutu, Rich Lawden and Tom Pyott.

It's DwarfCast time once again, and this time we're dusting off another commentary recorded on the anniversary weekend, spruced up a bit by a more recent, and possibly ill-advised, commentary on the DVD extra Backwards Forwards. Rejected options for the bonus extra for this 'cast was Hattie's DJ Diary, and 20 minutes of bitter, teary complaints about the broken menu on Disc 2. I think we chose wisely.

Get out your map, identify the nearest hill, and bloodly well run for it because G&T are doing a Red Dwarf VIII commentary and that shit's never pretty. In previous years the Krytie TV commentary decended into a pathetic, drunken argument, and the commentary for Cassandra was so soul crushingly depressing that we never even bothered releasing it.

It takes a special type of willful negligence to leave G&T so rarely updated since the 25th Anniversary earlier this year, but we've somehow managed to top that by completely forgetting we had two DwarfCasts sat in the bank ready to be published all this time.  Oh well!

Another Dimension Jump has once again come and gone, and we're all left to pick up the emotional and physical pieces as we try to recover from the best weekend in any given calendar year. It was an odd year for G&T as more than half of our number were involved in the running of the weekend, but as always we still found time for the traditional round-up DwarfCast.

Once more the G&T team have assembled to talk about one of them Red Dwarf episodes everyone seems to like these days, and also cover another series of deleted scenes, worts and all. The voices in which Justice will be done are: Ian Symes, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Daniel Stephenson, Jonathan Capps and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples.

To celebrate Red Dwarf's twenty-fifth anniversary, we held a small gathering in West London in order to broadcast a load of old Dwarf-related ramblings live to the assembled masses. This is your regular downloadable version of that broadcast. The G&T team (Cappsy, Danny, Ian, John and Tanya) were joined by TORDFC's Jezzmund Tutu and Jo Sharples, and TOS's Seb Patrick.

It's 2013 and yet here we still are, foisting the same old shit on you. Rejoice! Join Ian, John, Cappsy, Danny and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples as we once again gather to talk over an episode of Red Dwarf, namely Bodyswap and the series III deleted scenes. Marvel as we inform you on such as topics as the lack of a live audience, why the cast's impressions of each other should've been included in the final episode and the exact dimensions of Craig Charles' penis.

So, here it is. Merry Christmas. Everybody's having fun. If by 'having fun', you mean 'listening to a G&T Dwarfcast', that is. Yes, this is a very special Christmas edition of Dwarfcasts, which differs from a normal Dwarfcast in two key ways. Firstly, it has jingle bells at the start, and secondly, there's a load of self-indulgent festive waffle at the end. So marvel at our Christmassed-up jingle, listen to me, Cappsy, John, Tanya and Danny waffle about Psirens (the most Christmassy of all Red Dwarf episodes) and then tolerate us as we run through some of our plans for the 25th anniversary year.

Team G&T has once again assembled in order to talk at length about Series X, in Byte Two of our semi-retrospective. Join Ian, John, Tanya, Danny and Cappsy as we talk the living shit out of Entangled, Dear Dave, The Beginning, Model Shots and what Doug Naylor should be doing with his career, all in our own inimitable 'based-on-watching-show armchair production physiology' style.

Join the full Ganymede & Titan team - Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Daniel Stephenson and Ian Symes - for a journey way way back into the past, as we attempt to take a retrospective look at Red Dwarf X, recorded about a week and a half after the series finished. Byte One of this beast contains our thoughts on Trojan, Fathers & Suns and Lemons, revised and updated since the Live Instant Reactions, with the benefit of repeated viewings, insights from the DVD documentary, and several weeks' worth of arguments on G&T.

Hey you! Remember the olden days, before Series X? We used to watch the other 50-odd episodes to death, analysing them to the point of insanity. Well, those days are back! Here's a classic episode commentary for Series 2 Episode 1 Kryten. The full complement of G&T staffers - Cappsy, John, Tanya, Danny and Ian - are on hand to talk you through wonky ships, creased foreheads and dead women. But that's not all! After the episode, there's a bonus commentary on the Series 2 deleted scenes, to give you an all together chunkier and more satisfying Dwarfcast experience.

When are people going to realise - Red Dwarf X is OVER. To bridge the extremely small gap between the final episode being broadcast and the Bluray/DVD being released, here's a collection of all our Series X related interviews. These were originally dotted around our massive instant reaction Dwarfcasts, so we thought we'd bring them all together in one place for your comfort and convenience. So please welcome Bill Pearson, Craig Charles, Doug Naylor, Rebecca Blackstone and Steven Wickham - together at last! Plus, as this is essentially a 'best of', there's the obligatory tiny quotient of new material, just to force the completists to listen to the whole thing. Ha.

It's the final instant reaction Dwarfcast of the series, beset from all sides by technical problems that make Red Dwarf X's production look like a walk in the park. But still, this version of the 'cast is the definitive way to listen to how me, Cappsy, Danny, John, Tanya and TORDFC'S Jo reacted to The Beginning, joined along the way by special guests Jonathan 'Jonsmad' Young and Seb 'Seb' Patrick. There's also yet more exclusive news regarding the next Dimension Jump convention, a summary of our views on the series as a whole, and an ultra-rare piece of sincerity right at the end.

It's the 40th Dwarfcast, and the fifth of our live Series X Instant Reaction chinwags, lovingly made not-live and downloadable, with improved sound quality, but no improvement in any other branch of quality. This week, we're talking about Dear Dave, and in keeping with the episode itself, we flit all over the place, cramming in as many topics as possible, without any satisfying conclusion. But excitingly, the entire G&T team are present for the first time this series - that's Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes - along with regular pod chum Jo Sharples of TORDFC and non-Dwarf fan, but interested observer, Julian Hazeldine. Controversial opening music from the live version not included, sadly.

If you haven't got time to waste twatting about with other fansites and reviews, why not try our instant reaction Dwarfcast for Entangled? This is the downloadable version of last night's live 'cast, featuring the same mistakes and ill-thought-through opinions, but with nicer audio quality. Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and TORDFC's Jo Sharples are joined by 'special' 'guest' Seb Patrick, of reddwarf.co.uk fame, who gives his 'insight' from his day spent behind-the-scenes on this episode. We've also got a whole bunch of your comments and small points, and most excitingly, an exclusive interview with chief garbage gobbler Steven Wickham, who tells us all about how he got involved with the show again after an absence of nearly twenty years, his thoughts on Series X as a whole, and his feelings on being so near yet so far to performing in front of a live audience. All that, plus a preview of Dear Dave and a lot of unnecessary swearing. Hurrah!

The power of the Geordie Jesus compels you to download Dwarfcast 38: our instant reaction to Series X Episode 3, Lemons. It's exactly the same as the version we broadcast live - mistakes and all - but with vastly improved sound quality. For the first time this series, Tanya Jones joins her fellow G&Ters Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps and Danny Stephenson, along with the Fan Club's Jo Sharples. We're also joined for sporadic periods by Curtis Threadgold, Carrie n' Kiran Parsons and Peter Martin, along with a shedload of your comments. It's worth reiterating the standard disclaimer that these Dwarfcasts only aim to capture our initial gut reactions, and we'll probably all say things that we no longer agree with in the days, weeks and months to come.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the non-live version of our second live Dwarfcast, our instant reaction to Fathers & Suns. Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples convene to talk about the daddy discipline, predictive Pree and Taiwan Tony, for a very long time. We're ably assisted by some of the least rubbish G&T commenters - Alex Newsome, Kris Carter and Rich 'p2p' Lawden - via Skype, and we've also got a fantastic interview with Pree herself, Rebecca Blackstone. All this, plus exclusive news about next year's Dimension Jump, a preview of next week's episode, and a final ten seconds that are probably the best thing this site has ever achieved.

This is Dwarfcast 36 - or Live Dwarfcast 1 - our instant reaction to Trojan. Present are G&T staffers Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps and Danny Stephenson, along with Jo Sharples and Jezzmund Tutu from the Official Red Dwarf Fan Club. As well as discussing all aspects of the first episode of Series X in excruciating detail, we've got interviews with Bill Pearson, Craig Charles and Doug Naylor direct from the red carpet at Wednesday's premiere. There's also comments from our excellent community and a preview of next week's episode.

The latest in our bi-yearly commentary series

We preview the new series and are unnecessarily rude to people.

I love you. You know that, don't you? I wouldn't want you to... GO anywhere, not knowing that.

LIVE from RUISLIP, it's the BEST Red Dwarf episode EVER, talked over by A PACK OF CUNTS

Rimmer? I hardly know her!

"What the fuck is this?! I mean seriously this is verging on, just, completely offensive"

1!!!!sdrawkcab noitpircsed siht gnitirw ma I, ahaH

The convention is over. Now, what the fuck was THAT all about?

LIVE from BIRMINGHAM, it's DWARFCASTS

Another Back to Earth DwarfCast, anyone?

What's special, a DwarfCast but not a DwarfCast? Why, a PipesCast of course.

A commentary DwarfCast? Here? With our reputation?

Combat those post-DJ blues by reminding yourself how much fun you had last week contrasted with how miserable you are now

DwarfCasts: because it’s easier to do one of these than write something.

Welcome to the special 21st edition of DwarfCasts! In this episode... well, nothing much, really...

Hello, and welcome to another edition of TyrellCast

Well, fuck us sideways

What, you didn't think we'd let the buildup to BTE pass by without an special preview Dwarfcast, did you?

"So what is it?" "I've never seen one before, no-one has, but I'm guessing it's a Dwarfcast." "A *Dwarf* cast?"

The podcast that can proudly claim to be "Better Than Iain Lee's Shindiggery" returns once more...

At this time of high drama and excitement in the Red Dwarf world, only one thing can top the Carbug picture...

Rejoice, for one of the most sporadic Podcasts on the Internet is back... FOR NOW.

Cappsy and Seb talk over the episode that is better than YOU think it is.

Yet another ancient commentary!

The commentaries are back, everyone!

Not. In. Fucking. Time.

The sixth commentary is here, and with it our first foray into that thorny issue that is Series VII.

It's a few days late, but better that than releasing them all at once, eh? Yes is the answer, by the way.

Well, it's been a while since we last sexually aroused you with our thundering, knee-tremblingly wonderful voices, so here's another one of them there 'DwarfCasts' all the kids aren't talking about.

Since we were a week late with the last DwarfCast, we thought we'd give you another this week in an attempt to a) punish you and b) to detract away from the fact we're not publishing a proper article on something interesting this weekend.

It may be a week late, but if you enjoy listening to a group of drunken oafs shouting opinions at each other then you're in for a treat!

DwarfCast 4 and the first of our episode commentaries.

Better late and hastily edited than never...

I have so many things to apologise for.

That's DwarfCasts. Not PodCasts like you and Skeletor think.