Kids programming through the lens of adult beverages.
Luca (2021)
It's new! New content! It's a blessing from the Pixar lords! It's also possibly a metaphor very apropos for the month.
6/28/2021 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 53 seconds
Sonic the Hedgehog
Video games make great movies, right? Right?
6/14/2021 • 1 hour, 56 minutes, 20 seconds
Mighty Ducks
A 90's touchstone movie that includes who would turn out to be the least problematic of Charlie Sheen's kids.
6/7/2021 • 1 hour, 37 minutes, 56 seconds
Muppets Most Wanted
It's the update to the Great Muppet Caper we never knew we needed.
5/17/2021 • 1 hour, 43 minutes, 47 seconds
The Kid Who Would be King
The 392nd retelling of the Arthur legend. This time, with kids. For the 134th time.
5/3/2021 • 1 hour, 47 minutes, 10 seconds
Storks
Storks delivering mutant babies to rich, trendy families. Or maybe something about how chasing financial productivity in every aspect of our lives has had a negative effect on the perception of motherhood. Or maybe it's just "every woman needs a baby to be complete." We're not really sure what this movie is about but, in our defense, it doesn't seem like the writers were, either.
3/29/2021 • 1 hour, 28 minutes, 29 seconds
Home Alone
In this super ginormous sized episode Adam and Lisa get waaaay to into the psychology of the McCallister family. And a bit too far into congratulating ourselves for not being as bad of parents as we obviously could be. If we were rich.
2/22/2021 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 15 seconds
Dr. Doolittle 3
The movie that asks the real questions. Like "Why do we let Norm Macdonald be in things?" and "Can a monkey be charged with a felony?"
2/15/2021 • 1 hour, 35 minutes, 58 seconds
Charming
What if all the Prince Charmings (Princes Charming?) were the same? This thoughtful experiment gets to the root of the most confounding mystery in the fairy tale world.
Just kidding. It's a trainwreck with songs that seem like they were written by bad AI and a plot that really, really has some meaty questions to answer... but it will not.
2/8/2021 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 9 seconds
The Mandalorian Season 2
Mandalorian, The Second Part! We discuss that the best parts of this show are probably the call outs to previous episodes of this show or else Star Wars in general. Also, Baby Yoda.
2/1/2021 • 1 hour, 30 minutes, 10 seconds
The Mandalorian Season 1
In this episode Adam confuses the Traveling Wilburys with the Wild Thornberrys. And also discusses this show that was on Disney.
1/25/2021 • 1 hour, 37 minutes, 35 seconds
We Can Be Heroes
The (hopefully) final conclusion to the Sharkboy and Lavagirl series.
1/18/2021 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 43 seconds
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D
Robert Rodriguez makes a family film about a series of acid trips he had in college. Or something. Starring two Taylors.
1/11/2021 • 50 minutes, 57 seconds
Wonder Woman 1984
You will be screaming "TOM HARDY" at us for a few minutes. Sorry.
Also, spoilers as we talk through the plot of a relatively new movie. But don't worry if, like us, you haven't seen Wonder Womans 2-1983. They apparently weren't needed.
1/4/2021 • 1 hour, 53 minutes, 47 seconds
Soul
*SPOILER WARNING* This one just came out!
Adam and Lisa discuss the importance of settling for the mundane.
12/28/2020 • 1 hour, 36 minutes, 15 seconds
Ernest Saves Christmas
The second best Ernest movie works with the season.
12/26/2020 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 2 seconds
Ratatouille
Are we watching a Christmas movie this close to the holidays? No. Of course not. It's about a rat who wants to be Gordon Ramsay because of course it is.
12/21/2020 • 1 hour, 37 minutes, 55 seconds
Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
We watch a movie about small town animals and economic downturns and discuss the importance of estate planning and life insurance.
12/14/2020 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 16 seconds
Christmas Chronicles 2
Kurt Russel is back to save Christmas, this time with Goldie Hawn and it's, somehow, so very, very bad.
12/7/2020 • 1 hour, 30 minutes, 48 seconds
Incredibles 2
A children's movie addressing issues facing a woman attempting to re-enter the workforce and the whining of the man supporting her.
11/30/2020 • 1 hour, 28 minutes, 53 seconds
Ugly Dolls
100th Episode Spectacular! Not really. We just drink while discussing the movie that teaches you it's OK to be ugly as long as you're rich and talented.
11/23/2020 • 54 minutes, 59 seconds
Aladdin (2019)
The unneeded live action remake of the Disney classic isn't as bad as it could have been.
11/16/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 26 seconds
Malibu Rescue: The Next Wave
We've had one movie already, but what about second movie?
The sequel to the series that followed the movie that, really, no one really asked for.
11/9/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 26 seconds
Nightmare Before Christmas
Simply the best movie combination of Halloween and Christmas. The perfect November movie.
But it also makes no sense.
11/2/2020 • 57 minutes, 32 seconds
Halloweentown
Debby Reynolds is in this. Debby. Reynolds. She deserved better.
10/26/2020 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 58 seconds
Double Double Toil and Trouble
A critique on the state of mandatory reporter laws in the 90's. Or another Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie. Or both.
10/19/2020 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 51 seconds
Addams Family (2019)
Can the remake of a 1991 classic remake of a 60's TV show be even better than the original material? I mean, it's possible, but this certainly isn't it.
10/12/2020 • 55 minutes, 45 seconds
Addams Family (1991)
What is probably the most functional family in cinematic history meets reality and comes out ahead.
10/5/2020 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 39 seconds
Haunted Mansion
Eddie Murphy in a kids movie based on a theme park ride. This was never going to be good, was it?
9/28/2020 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 3 seconds
Hocus Pocus
Like, seriously, did Bette Midler know what she signed up for or was this just her doing what she does best? Either way, top 10 Halloween movies of all time.
9/21/2020 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 27 seconds
Trolls World Tour
The sequel to the movie based on those little troll dolls that get randomly popular every 15 years. At least it's introducing our kids to good music.
9/14/2020 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 17 seconds
Mr. Peabody and Sherman
Time travel brought to you by your dad the dog. Because the 5 minute cartoon segments were not enough.
9/7/2020 • 1 hour, 24 minutes, 58 seconds
Despicable Me
The movie that launched the minions. And for that, it has much to answer for.
8/31/2020 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 42 seconds
Animal Crackers
What even is this movie? It's... not good. It's... not bad. It's just... weird.
8/24/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 21 seconds
Kid Detectives
First, we know it's Stephen Baldwin. But also, we look at a lot of kids detective shows to figure out why we think children have the answers to all our problems.
8/17/2020 • 58 minutes, 10 seconds
Muppet Treasure Island
Where do you know Tim Curry from? This movie answers that for our kids now. Decide what that says about them.
8/10/2020 • 48 minutes, 48 seconds
Underdogs
How are there no dogs or caves in this movie?
8/3/2020 • 53 minutes, 29 seconds
Monsters Vs. Aliens
Reminding children that the military industrial complex rains supreme and you only have the rights they want you to have.
7/27/2020 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 28 seconds
Wrinkle in Time
A beautiful acid trip where Oprah pretends to be 30 feet tall and the queen of the universe when we all know she's not a bit over 26 feet tall.
7/20/2020 • 51 minutes, 44 seconds
UP
A charming story of an accidental child abduction.
7/13/2020 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 9 seconds
G-Force
A great reminder of why we drink. G-Force is the story of talking guinea pigs that... honestly, who knows? It's a mess.
7/6/2020 • 51 minutes, 24 seconds
Artemis Fowl - LIVE
Tired of social distancing? Wishing we could be in your house with you watching a movie and making snarky comments? Then do we have an episode for you.
This is our commentary track to be synced up with the Disney+ version of Artemis Fowl.
So here's what you do. Get this somewhere you can listen to it out loud. Then, find Artemis Fowl on Disney+ and pause it a the exact beginning. When you hear the countdown and then the glasses clink, start the movie and we should be synced up.
But the bad new is, now you've started Artemis Fowl and you're going to have to watch it with us. Sorry.
6/29/2020 • 1 hour, 32 minutes, 31 seconds
The Goofy Movie
In this episode, Adam asks way too many questions about Goofy's biology, classification, and reproductive cycles.
6/22/2020 • 54 minutes, 2 seconds
Finding Nemo
Lisa and Adam discuss gender and clown fish and incorrectly identify the capitol of Australia several times.
6/15/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 11 seconds
Fantastic Mr. Fox
It's Baby's First Wes Anderson this week. Do our kids like style over substance or is this not their cup of fake British tea?
6/8/2020 • 43 minutes, 26 seconds
Scoob!
The nostalgia button gets hit again and again as Adam relives his favorite Saturday mornings.
6/1/2020 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 54 seconds
Disney Studio Shorts
This is a weird one. A bunch of short little videos back to back with no coherent theme. Kinda like my life.
5/25/2020 • 56 minutes, 6 seconds
The Princess Bride
As you wish...
5/18/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 22 seconds
The Great Mouse Detective
Not the highest form of Disney animation, but not the worst. Except for that weird part in a mouse strip club.
5/11/2020 • 53 minutes, 50 seconds
Abominable
Adam and Lisa attempt to get banned in China.
5/4/2020 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 14 seconds
Zootopia
Disney picks an unlikely setting for their follow up to Robin Hood.
4/27/2020 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 59 seconds
Spies in Disguise
Will Smith, the voice of the genie from Aladdin, according to my former children, stars as a bird.
He's reached the part of his career where he's doing talking animal movies.
I'm sorry, Will.
4/20/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 48 seconds
Detective Pikachu
In the unofficial sequel to Deadpool 2, Ryan Renolds sasses his way through another franchise.
4/13/2020 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 38 seconds
High School Musical
The movie that spawned 2 sequels, a TV series, a licensable high school musical about this high school musical and a TV show where they watch people do the high school musical version of high school musical and then the final layer, the movie of the high school kids from the tv show doing the musical based on this movie.
Also Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Effron are in this.
4/6/2020 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 53 seconds
The Great Muppet Caper
There's a point in the 1980's where you could get a job by walking into an office and demanding one. This is a throwback to that fantasy.
3/30/2020 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 2 seconds
Disney's Zombies
Reporting on a post apocalyptic vision where humanity has failed its most vulnerable.
Man, that's hitting a little close to home this week.
3/23/2020 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 22 seconds
Onward
We review a movie still in the theaters!
Adam reveals how little he knows about Dungeons and Dragons and Lisa does, too, but she's not surprised about it.
3/16/2020 • 1 hour, 35 minutes, 24 seconds
The Incredibles
What could be easier than raising a family? Raising a family of superheroes without anyone knowing they're superheros.
3/9/2020 • 1 hour, 28 minutes, 58 seconds
Harry Potter Revisited
Did you think Lisa got all her questions and concerns about Harry Potter out last time? Well, you were wrong. Here she goes again.
3/2/2020 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 24 seconds
Woody the Woodpecker
Whoever keeps putting these computer animated cartoon and video game characters into movies with real life actors really needs to stop.
2/24/2020 • 1 hour, 57 seconds
Toy Story 4
For what is hopefully, but not probably, the last entry in the Toy Story saga we take a look at the transcendental terror of existence, dabble in the body horror genre, and deconstruct the waning status of monogamy in the 21st century.
You know, for kids.
2/17/2020 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 18 seconds
Tangled
Disney brings you Stockholm Syndrome, but cute.
2/10/2020 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 54 seconds
Hop
They make Easter movies now? About the Easter bunny? Was anyone really calling for that?
2/3/2020 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 52 seconds
Secret Life of Pets 2
The sequel we always wanted where we ask many questions about Hu greenlit this movie.
1/27/2020 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 15 seconds
Year in Review
We did it. We actually stuck with something for an entire year. What have we learned by this?
Nothing much, apparently.
1/13/2020 • 27 minutes, 16 seconds
Camp Cool Kids
In this episode, Adam has flashbacks to his days spent outside and remembers why he promised to never do that ever again.
1/6/2020 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 53 seconds
Star Wars Ep. IX - Rise of Skywalker
The final (riiiiight) installment of the Skywalker Saga aka the main Star Wars movie.
We're pretty sure we forgot more than we remembered, but it's still a fun ride.
1/4/2020 • 1 hour, 36 minutes, 54 seconds
Noelle
Anna Kendrick is probably part elf. You can't prove she isn't.
12/30/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 10 seconds
The Christmas Project
WARNING: THIS EPISODE MAY CONTAIN SPOILER REGARDING THE EXISTENCE OR POSSIBLE NON-EXISTENCE OF SANTA CLAUSE.
Now that is out of the way, we watch a sappy seasonal movie about recapturing the true meaning of Christmas in 1986.
12/23/2019 • 1 hour, 26 seconds
Star Wars Ep. VIII - The Last Jedi
Sneaking in another episode before the next movie comes out. Enjoy?
12/18/2019 • 45 minutes, 29 seconds
Star Wars Ep. VII - The Force Awakens
Because, yes, it's about time it got up and made someone a shitton more money.
12/16/2019 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 3 seconds
Star Wars Ep. III - Revenge of the Sith
Lisa just watched it for the first time. Adam hasn't seen it in years. We get several plot points very wrong. See if you can spot them by yelling at your phone when they pop up!
12/9/2019 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 46 seconds
Star Wars Ep. II - Attack of the Clones
If you didn't get enough stilted acting and parliamentary procedure from the last episode, have we got a welcome surprise for you!
12/2/2019 • 53 minutes, 20 seconds
Star Wars Ep. I - The Phantom Menace
It's as if a million nerds cried out at once, and were still complaining 20 years later.
11/25/2019 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 47 seconds
Star Wars Ep. VI - Return of the Jedi
The Jedi have returned but... why? And for how long? And what's the big plan, anyway? There is a plan, right? I mean, we're not just walking into an obvious trap. Right? Right?
11/18/2019 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 43 seconds
The Lorax
A little, furry man saves the world. Yes, we're talking about Danny DeVito.
11/11/2019 • 54 minutes, 32 seconds
Star Wars Ep. V - The Empire Strikes Back
Easily the most watchable of the Star Wars films, probably. At least Lisa thinks so, and she has opinions as to why.
11/4/2019 • 55 minutes, 42 seconds
Star Wars Ep. IV - A New Hope
It's a classic. It's required viewing in my house. And, it turns out, Lisa's not impressed.
10/28/2019 • 54 minutes, 54 seconds
The Grinch
The most recent re-telling of the legend of the Grinch, which still fails to justify its existence over a 30 minute cartoon.
10/21/2019 • 59 minutes, 39 seconds
Alvin and the Chipmunks meet the Wolfman
Think it couldn't get worse than the live action Alvin and the Chipmunk movies? Well, you're right. But this one isn't really worthy of the nostalgia.
10/14/2019 • 49 minutes, 7 seconds
Shrek
The greatest movie of our time?
Probably not.
The greatest performance by Eddy Murphy in a children's movie?
Also, probably no.
Mike Myers' best work?
Still... no.
But it's Shrek and it kept Smashmouth on the radio for longer than any of us could have ever expected.
10/7/2019 • 51 minutes, 42 seconds
Descendants 2
With Lisa out of town, Adam has to rely on some even more unreliable narrators to get through this episode.
9/30/2019 • 28 minutes, 16 seconds
Descendants 3
No, you didn't miss an episode. Our kids just didn't want to watch Descendants 2. So we watch this one instead. We'd like to think seeing the second part would make the third part make more sense but, honestly, we don't know how that would be possible.
9/23/2019 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 50 seconds
Descendants
In a world where all the Disney films apparently happened at once, and where Beast has united the kingdoms under his iron rule...
Would have been a much better intro. Instead, we get a high school musical with the Disney villains' kids and way too much eyeliner.
9/16/2019 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 15 seconds
Middle School
The fight club of the next generation.
9/9/2019 • 44 minutes, 56 seconds
Wreck it Ralph
Remember, you can never be anything besides what you were born to be so just make the most of your freakishness and hopefully you can help some of the other freaks you meet along the way.
Or possibly something more encouraging. Honestly, I don't even know how to spin this one.
9/2/2019 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 34 seconds
Kronk's New Groove
It was the early 2000's and Disney decided everything needed a sequel. Even things they just made. At least this one kept most of the original cast. And, really, that's the best we can say about it.
8/26/2019 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 4 seconds
Daddy Daycare
Eddy Murphy makes kids movies. This one thing you must remember or nothing that follows will make any sense.
Approaching Pluto Nash levels of bad writing, acting, directing and special effects, we submit that this is not something he should be proud of.
8/19/2019 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 35 seconds
Monsters, Inc.
Teaching our kids that anything is acceptable if you're doing it in order to produce energy. Right?
8/12/2019 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 42 seconds
Secret Life of Pets
When their owners are away, pets will get into a series of unbelievable exploits but still somehow make it back home through a locked apartment in time for their owners' return.
But, somehow, it's not terrible.
8/5/2019 • 1 hour, 19 minutes, 34 seconds
Emperor's New Groove
The best movie to come out of Disney between 1995 and... well... we're waiting.
7/29/2019 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 1 second
Despicable Me 3
Did the world need 3 Despicable Me movies? No. But they got them anyway. Here's our thoughts on the third.
7/22/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 33 seconds
Peter Rabit
Mediocre children's book turned worse than mediocre children's movie.
7/15/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 49 seconds
It Takes Two
Is this the best Olsen Twins/Kristy Allen/Steve Guttenberg/Rob Base & DJ E-Z crossover event of all time? I mean, I hope not. But here we are.
7/8/2019 • 1 hour, 31 minutes, 55 seconds
Malibu Rescue - The Series
Did you think that one movie was enough to tell the saga of the lives of the Malibu Rescue team? You were right. But here's a miniseries anyway.
7/1/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes
Malibu Rescue
Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski.
Actually, if at all possible, we should all really try to stay out of this one.
6/24/2019 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 39 seconds
Lego Movie 2
Back after a little time off, we dig into the movies our kids watched on vacation, starting with the sequel to one of my least unfavorite kids movies.
6/17/2019 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 32 seconds
Bedtime Stories
Adam Sandler and Russell Brand bring you the story of how a grown man tries to manipulate kids' imaginations to get everything he ever wanted and instead ends up with the world's weirdest guinea pig.
6/10/2019 • 59 minutes, 13 seconds
Zoom
Tim Allen stars in what was not his worst film of 2006. But it's bad. It's really, really bad.
6/3/2019 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 39 seconds
Tornado Update
We are fine. Everything is not fine. But we are fine.
5/30/2019 • 1 minute, 42 seconds
Lion King
Reviewing a masterpiece before the inevitable unnecessary remake.
Hippy Juice
1 Cup Watermelon Vodka
1/2 Cup Rum
1/2 Cup Triple Sec
Top a gallon with pink Country Time lemonade made to instructions.
5/27/2019 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 21 seconds
Avengers: Endgame
We're in the endgame now...
We finish up last week's discussion about the Marvel Cinematic Universe by looking at Avengers: Endgame.
Again, maybe some spoilers.
5/20/2019 • 1 hour, 19 minutes, 33 seconds
Lisa vs. The Marvel Cinematic Universe
*SPOILERS*
THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR MOVIES CURRENTLY IN THEATERS.
Lisa and Adam blow through the entire MCU up to Endgame in a single episode. Spoilers abound, but so does confusion.
Also, Adam is wrong, Howard stark is in Captain America: The First Avenger. And he's probably wrong about other things, too.
5/13/2019 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 23 seconds
Harry Potter
We have many questions about the Harry Potter universe. But since half the team is a drunk Hufflepuff, we may never know the answers.
5/6/2019 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 25 seconds
Christmas Chronicles
Snake Pliskin does Santa Clause. Not the weirdest casting for the jolly old elf, but not a great movie, either.
Melonade:
1 oz. Raspberry Vodka
1 oz. St. Germain
1 oz. Cranberry juice
1/2 oz. Lemon juice
1/2 oz. Simple syrup
Add all ingredients to a shaker full of ice. Shake, strain into Wonder Woman tumbler*
*Wonder Woman tumbler optional.
4/29/2019 • 57 minutes, 14 seconds
Chicken Little
The timeless tale of why your town probably shouldn't get a significant portion of its identity from that time you all freaked out because a four year old told you the sky was falling. Also, there are aliens.
4/15/2019 • 1 hour, 41 seconds
Hercules
Here's an idea... let's make a kids movie based on Greek mythology. It's the only logical direction to go after the success that was Hunchback of Notre Dame.
4/8/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 3 seconds
Emoji Movie
It's a movie... about emoji. We've hit the bottom and kept digging.
4/1/2019 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 19 seconds
Christopher Robin
What could possibly be creepier than the 1980's Winnie the Pooh show on the Disney Chanel? Oh. Yeah. Christopher Robin with PTSD.
3/24/2019 • 54 minutes, 48 seconds
Super Buddies
The final installment of a 14-ish movie series based on that one video that won America's Funniest Home Videos in 1991. Really.
3/18/2019 • 45 minutes, 8 seconds
Spy Kids 4D All the Time in the World
The most unsettling moving Robert Rodriguez's production company has ever made.
3/11/2019 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 46 seconds
Into the Spiderverse
Can an infinite number of radioactive spiders biting an infinite number of moody teens create a good movie?
2/25/2019 • 1 hour, 41 minutes, 13 seconds
Gnome Alone
Looking into the happy side of child neglect and abandonment, it's this week's episode of Designated Parent.
2/18/2019 • 46 minutes
Captain Underpants
Seriously, who is looking after these kids in Piqua, Ohio?
2/14/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 12 seconds
Hotel Transylvania 3
The exciting conclusion to the immortal Hotel Transylvania trilogy. Wait, who are we kidding? They're going to make more and more of theses until they lose all meaning and outnumber the Land Before Time movies.