A podcast that delivers depth, emotional insight and uncensored thoughts that only your therapist would accept you for having. Connecting the dots to make sense of your life won’t be the same after this unapologetically witty take on reality. Expect discussions on every day life, relationships, candid stories, emotions, social observations, pop culture, life advice and reality tv. No topic is off limits! Come for the humor, wisdom and brutal honesty from your host Certified Holistic Life Coach, Certified Trauma Support Specialist, Author & Reiki Master, Amy Fiedler.
Why People Project, Deflect + Attack Others
In this final episode of 2023 and the last episode of season 7, Amy digs into the behaviors of projection, deflection, blame and attack. Why do people behave like that? Amy shares her insights into these behavior patterns and explains what YOU can do when face to face with them. Tune in to hear Amy offer you guidance and a memorable final episode before she takes a brief hiatus after giving birth.
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
• Emotional management
• Self-protective patterns
• Unhealthy coping tools
• A lack of accountability
• Amy’s ‘Hot Potato Theory’
• Navigating difficult relationships
12/31/2023 • 47 minutes, 47 seconds
PART 2: Why You Tolerate Too Much Disrespect
Amy digs deeper into the topic of disrespect and what many of the reasons are for your high tolerance of it. Last week she covered several submitted responses to the question, "Why do YOU think you tolerate too much?" And this week she's tackling even more from over-empathizing, not communicating a boundary is breached to having no limits on extending others the benefit of the doubt. Tune in to hear Amy offer you further insight and your next steps towards changing these patterns and struggles for good!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Believing love is 'enough'
Over-empathizing
Poor communication
Avoidant behavior
Not trusting your own judgment
Making excuses for a lack of action + growth
Using your self-awareness as an excuse
As mentioned in this episode, the Boundary Setting for Trauma Survivors Course will reopen enrollment in January of the new year! To hear about it first and receive early bird discounts, place your Name and Email on the Waitlist here.
12/19/2023 • 38 minutes, 51 seconds
Why You Tolerate Too Much Disrespect
Amy responds to your submissions about why you believe you tolerate too much and over-communicate your boundaries. She provides you with further guidance for introspection, deeper understanding into your fears and patterns as well as what your next steps are towards changing it!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Fears of abandonment
Fears of conflict
Fears of backlash
Boundary Setting with difficult people
Tolerating mistreatment
Childhood trauma
Redefining love
Healing from neglect
Healing from childhood trauma
Adulthood trauma
People Pleasing patterns
The resources mentioned in this episode to support you are linked below!
- Access Amy's recommend Somatic Exercise program here.
- Download Identifying Your Trauma Triggers Guide here.
- Join the Waitlist for the Boundary Setting for Trauma Survivors course, opening enrollment January 2024.
- Join the Waitlist for Rebuilding Self-Trust, re-opening enrollment March 2024.
12/12/2023 • 43 minutes, 59 seconds
Ways We're Taught Not to Have Boundaries
This week Amy shares the top 3 ways you're shown and taught to not have boundaries growing up. She provides insight and understanding into the fears, unhealthy coping mechanisms and survival strategies adapted from being exposed to this type of caregiver modeling. Amy leaves you with a list of self-reflective prompts to get started reviewing your own relationships and behavior patterns. This episode will support you in identifying any current struggles as we move into what Amy calls "Boundary Season" and help you bring awareness to what you'd like to improve upon.
If you're wanting additional support in the boundary setting process, especially after childhood or adulthood trauma, use this link to join the WAITLIST for the Boundary Setting for Trauma Survivors course re-opening this January 2024.
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Childhood trauma
Adulthood trauma
Boundary setting struggles
Adverse childhood experiences
Toxic stress
People pleasing
Provides you self-reflective questions to process your experiences.
12/5/2023 • 33 minutes, 3 seconds
When They Complain But Resist Changing
Amy discusses what is happening inside an individual who is unloading their pain but resistant to making any changes in their life. She digs into the different scenarios you may have encountered with friends, family or even partners and the distinctions between someone seeking validation, wanting guidance or just wanting to complain. She leaves you with insight into how to navigate these relationships in the most supportive ways possible for yourself and for them!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Being resistant to growth
Being open to growth
Trauma-dumping
Supportive boundaries
Post-traumatic awareness
Supportive friendships + relationships
Taking advantage of professional support (free + paid)
11/28/2023 • 43 minutes, 48 seconds
Extreme Thinking
Amy discusses the concept of "extreme thinking" and what fuels the behavior pattern. She offers her insights into how this binary way of thinking can show up in mental health social media content and perpetuate victimhood. By the end of the episode, you're left with more knowledge on this topic as well as what you will want to work on improving to step away from thinking in extremes!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Self-protection + self-preservation
Binary Thinking / All or Nothing Thinking / Black + White Thinking / Extreme Thinking
Self-trust
Victim marketing
Solutions for extreme thinking
If you're enjoying these episodes of Connect the Dots B*tch, take a moment to leave me a 5-star rating on Apple or Spotify!
11/22/2023 • 34 minutes, 26 seconds
Here's Why You're Not Healing
In this episode, Amy highlights what is hindering you from healing. She emphasizes the tangible steps that MUST happen in order to move from having experienced trauma and emotional pain to processing, releasing and changing your adapted survival and coping strategies.
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Emotional healing
Trauma healing
Tangible action steps needed to heal.
How to know if you are hindering your own healing.
A self-qualifying list to help you determine if this episode is for you!
Identifying too much with your pain.
Making excuses for your trauma.
Playing the victim.
Taking accountability vs. victim blaming
Rebuilding self-trust
If you're ready to rebuild your foundation after experiencing trauma, abuse, childhood trauma or any type of emotional pain. And ready to heal your people pleasing, fears of abandonment, trust issues + more! Join Amy as she walks you hand-in-hand through all (3) steps of healing (mentioned in episode) and provides you the proven strategy to rebuild your self-trust in her course: Rebuilding Self-Trust . Enrollment ends on 11/22/23 for the year so do not miss your opportunity to take this essential step!
11/14/2023 • 36 minutes, 51 seconds
Stop Your Attachment to Potential
Amy returns after a brief break to dig into why you're attaching to potential in your relationships. What happens when you attach? What's the underlying root problem that keeps you stuck and wanting to fix, save and rescue others? And most importantly, what tangible steps can you take today to begin making changes and breaking this pattern!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Being a FIXER, SAVER/SAVIOR, RESCUER
Attaching to potential in relationships
Trying to prove + convince others of your worth.
Blaming yourself for others not growing + changing.
Childhood trauma
Control issues
Struggles with acceptance + self-respect.
Boundaries
For more resources on Boundary Setting, learn more about Amy's course here.
11/7/2023 • 33 minutes, 36 seconds
The One About Anxiety + Trusting Others
Amy discusses why we experience anxiety especially in relationships. She talks about why anxiety is a symptom of 1 of 3 root problems and shares how to take steps to improve all of them. You'll hear about her personal struggles with an Anxiety Disorder in her teens and what helped her most in healing from it.
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Anxiety + Anxiety Disorders
OCD
Relational anxiety
Self-trust and struggles with trusting others
Coping strategies
Nervous system dysregulation
Personal stories from Amy about her anxiety struggles
+ more!
If you'd like access to the highly recommended Somatic Program Amy mentions in this episode, use this link: http://collabs.shop/etrgun . If you'd like to learn more about Rebuilding Self-Trust, you can go here: https://amy-fiedler.teachable.com/p/rebuilding-self-trust .
10/13/2023 • 41 minutes, 28 seconds
Confidence Comes from Self-Trust
Amy is back from her babymoon European adventure and sharing updates about her trip, insights and reflections before she dives into the topics of self-acceptance, self-confidence and self-trust!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Amy's babymoon recap
Personal growth reflections + insights from Amy herself
Where does confidence come from (*Begins at 34:00 min mark)
The practice of self-acceptance
How are self-confidence + self-trust related
Skills you want to learn while healing from trauma
(4) Things Amy learned about herself from her recent trip
If you've streamed this episode and are interested in learning more about the upcoming brand new Rebuilding Self-Trust mini-course, place your email on the waitlist to receive information once it launches this month (October 2023) here: https://amy-fiedler.teachable.com/p/rebuilding-self-trust
10/3/2023 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 58 seconds
Secure Relationship Secrets
Amy gives you a look inside a secure relationship from the perspective of someone who has experienced trauma from past abusive relationship. She offers you (5) insider tips to help you become aware of and normalize what you can expect to occur within a secure attachment. She also shares solutions on how to navigate conflict and confusion in the most supportive way!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Secure attachments
Healthy conflict resolution
Emotional management
Trauma triggers
Boundary Setting
Personal stories from Amy
Personal life updates from Amy
If you're enjoyed this episode or past Connect The Dots B*tch episodes, leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify! Be sure to share this episode with your partner, friend or family member who may need this insight as well.
9/18/2023 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 15 seconds
The One About Ghosting
Amy provides you a full rundown of what 'ghosting' is, what people commonly confuse it to be, why people ghost and how to cope with being ghosted! She offers you real-life examples of being ghosting, deconstructs what is happening for the ghost-er and ghost-ee and her expertise on how harmful and abusive this behavior can be.
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Ghosting
Ghosting while dating
Ghosting while in a committed relationship
What does NOT constitute ghosting
Abandonment fears
How to cope with being ghosted
Why you feel haunted by having been ghosting and can't move through the pain
Practical steps for coping with being ghosted
What to work on if you're wanting to ghost
9/12/2023 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 52 seconds
A New Phase of Life
Amy announces some big changes in her life, answers a few FAQs and shares how she's navigating it all, what she's prioritizing and how she's finding a healthy balance. She offers you key points and takeaways that not only pertain to what she's going through, but how they may connect to you and your life and relationships.
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
A big life update from Amy!
What needs are always important to prioritize, especially through life changes.
Prenatal + childhood trauma
Planning for the future
Trauma triggers and emotional triggers
Acknowledging your personal growth
Amy's personal reflections on her own growth, old behavior patterns + how she's learning to be more flexible within these new life experiences!
9/5/2023 • 58 minutes, 41 seconds
Do You Need to Have an Honest Conversation?
Amy shares a quick life update about her recent travels and the "adventure" (re: disaster) that occurred on the way back home. She discusses how to approach having an honest conversation with someone, even if that individual is incapable or unwilling. You'll hear her deconstruct why sometimes we are uncomfortable in relationship to others (hint: their behavior may not align with our truth) and provides you clear insight and practical steps in navigating the nuances of difficult relationships!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
Life update from Amy!
Honest, transparent conversations
Navigating other people's dysregulated states
Setting a boundary with someone who is dismissive.
Difficult relationships
Staying true to yourself in spite of how others behave
Communicating to move through confilct.
8/22/2023 • 53 minutes, 43 seconds
The One About Healthy Conflict Resolution
Amy breaks down the necessary steps of navigating conflict in a healthy and supportive way. She discusses in depth the challenges many face, the steps most skip and how a history of trauma can impact your willingness and awareness to take these steps.
THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS:
The tangible steps to healthy conflict resolution in any type of relationship.
Common conflict triggers + trauma triggers.
Common struggles for trauma survivors in navigating conflict.
What signs indicate your relationship is stuck + conflict cannot be resolved.
The importance of repairing after conflict.
In this episode, Amy mentions a helpful guide called Identifying Your Trauma Triggers which you can access and download here.
8/8/2023 • 48 minutes, 41 seconds
What Does Healing Look Like?
In this episode, Amy answers the question, 'what does healing really look like?' With so much misinformation online, Amy discusses the nuances on the topic of trauma healing. Tune in to hear her debunk myths, identify misconceptions and educate you further on what works, what doesn't, what is clickbait online and what the overall truth is about healing from trauma!
THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS:
Myths, misconceptions + misguided information about trauma healing.
Will safe people and environments trigger you?
Does being alone (or single) safeguard you from pain?
Will you still get triggered after trauma?
What will trigger you after trauma? Understanding trauma triggers.
Therapy? What works and what doesn't.
+ much more!
If these podcast episodes are educating, entertaining and providing you value, please take a moment to leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify! For access to Amy's resources, downloads and on-demand courses, go to amyfiedler.com .
8/1/2023 • 58 minutes, 56 seconds
Kute Blackson: Self-Trust, Freedom + The Magic of Surrender
Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidents’ Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose.
THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS:
- Kute's personal journey to becoming an inspirational speaker + transformational teacher.
- the importance of self-trust.
- choosing your authentic truth over the plan someone else mapped out for you.
- difficult conversations (with parents).
- how following the nudging of your soul brings freedom!
- a balanced + nuanced look at what surrendering is.
- choosing to view life as a miracle in spite of hardships.
- Kute's book, "The Magic of Surrender" + what you can expect from it!
FOLLOW + CONNECT WITH KUTE:
Purchase your copy of Kute's book, The Magic of Surrender on Amazon: www.amazon.com/Magic-Surrender-Finding-Courage-Let/dp/0593189094
Check out how to work with Kute at www.kuteblackson.com
Check out Kute's Bali Breakthrough Experience at www.boundlessblissbali.com
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kuteblacksonlovenow
Instagram: www.instagram.com/kuteblackson
Twitter: www.twitter.com/kuteblackson
YouTube: www.youtube.com/user/kuteblackson09
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kute-blackson-35755519
7/25/2023 • 49 minutes, 23 seconds
Being “The Mature One”
Amy discusses the feelings that arise when you feel you always have to be the bigger person and what to do when you start feeling resentment, anger, annoyance with others. She offers real life examples and gives key steps to take to support yourself when you’re constantly growing but others aren’t in your life!
7/18/2023 • 44 minutes, 29 seconds
Triangulation
Amy discusses what triangulation is, how challenging it can be to navigate and real-life examples of how she does it! She deconstructs this form of abuse and manipulation to make it digestible and help you understand how it presents itself in relationships.
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
- What triangulation can look and sound like.
- Real-life examples of experiencing triangulation within a family.
- How to navigate and what practical coping methods can you use for triangulation.
- Life updates from Amy!
- Insecurities
- Boundary Setting
- Toxic family dynamics
Amy's brand-new online course for The Supportive People to Trauma Survivors has now launched and is mentioned in this episode of Connect The Dots B*tch! If you are navigating a challenging relationship with someone who may or may not be aware of their own trauma, this course is for you. If you are a trauma survivor wanting to be more supportive without losing yourself or needing others to behave and communicate in more supportive ways, this course is for you. Use code OGLISTENER for 10% off your purchase today:
The Course for the Supportive People to Trauma Survivors | Amy Fiedler (teachable.com)
7/11/2023 • 52 minutes, 37 seconds
Are Triggers Caused By Others?
Amy sits down to discuss how trauma and triggers are created and if it is in fact by other people! She deconstructs how to tell the difference between if your trauma is being triggered or if the person and the behavior is actually harmful to you.
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:
- how trauma and triggers are created
- why we cope by blaming others
- healthier ways to cope
- how to tell the difference between if it's your trauma being triggered or it's actually harmful behavior.
- why we find it easier to blame others
- how to stop swinging the pendulum too far one way with binary ways of thinking and coping.
- childhood trauma becoming adulthood trauma
- the supportive tools you need for your triggers and your coping
6/30/2023 • 45 minutes, 5 seconds
Parental Modeling
Amy discusses the impact a parent or guardian’s modeling has on their children. How we aren’t just influenced by how we’re treated, but also by how those adults treat themselves and others.
This episode discusses:
- Emotional neglect, immaturity, abuse
- Parental modeling
- Generational trauma
- Breaking generational patterns
- Common mistakes and flawed beliefs about childhood trauma.
- Personal stories from Amy's life and how she copes and has healed.
If you enjoyed this episode or past episodes of Connect The Dots B*tch, leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify to let us know! If this episode helped you, share it with a friend!
6/20/2023 • 38 minutes, 46 seconds
Post Traumatic Growth
Amy shares about her personal growth after reflecting on her recent vacation. She tells stories about what she’s previously struggled with, offers insights into enhancing your communication and self-awareness and discusses extending others grace!
6/14/2023 • 49 minutes, 50 seconds
Shiadanni: A Fusion of Pain, Growth and Healing Through Creative Expression
Shiadanni has become an online Icon for the Latin community, where she represents something that we never see; A powerful, glamorous, confident Mexican woman. She has made latinos proudly embrace their accent, their nationality and roots, which if everyone can agree, that is the true definition of being an influencer. With 5 million followers on TikTok, and 870,000 followers on Instagram, Shiadanni is growing her tribe, sharing genius comedy, or releasing her original music, she continues to give out pieces of her brain with the purpose of simply healing herself, while connecting with so many people on the way.
THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS:
- the healing properties of creative expression
- the frustrations of being misperceived
- creating healthy outlets for your anger
- the fusion of pain, healing and growth through music and comedy
- self-acceptance
- creating a language with your fans
- conforming vs. redefining success
- feeling misunderstood
- finding yourself late in life
FOLLOW + CONNECT WITH SHIADANNI:
Stream 'Stellar' new single out: shiadanni.ffm.to/stellarLook out for the upcoming single: 'Violent'
INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/shiadanniTIKTOK: www.tiktok.com/@shiadanniYOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/@ShiadanniFACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100077408037756
5/30/2023 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 23 seconds
Seek To Understand, Not Attack
Amy gets curious about people's reactions, judgments and attacks on others and offers her insights, observations and thoughts as to what drives that behavior. She discusses the importance of managing your own thoughts, behaviors and feelings and being responsible for what you put out into the world. If you struggle with unleashing your emotions on others or have someone in your life who does this, this episode is for you!
This episode discusses:
- Emotional mismanagement
- Mental/emotional boundaries
- Emotional maturity
- Productive, healthy ways to navigate people's unnecessary projections/reactions
5/23/2023 • 54 minutes, 58 seconds
The Challenge of Mental + Emotional Boundaries
Amy discusses the challenges of setting and upholding those silent parameters you adhere to in your own mind and heart. The difficulties of working with thoughts and feelings versus tangible feedback when setting boundaries can be a huge challenge for highly sensitive individuals, empaths and trauma survivors. Listen as Amy shares her own personal struggles with mental and emotional boundaries and how she's learned and still learning to uphold them for herself!
Episode discusses:
- Mental + Emotional Boundaries
- Being highly sensitive
- Why most people struggle with 'unseen' boundaries.
- How to 'mind your business' and not allow other people's struggles to consume you.
If you're enjoying Connect The Dots B*tch, please leave a 5-start review on Apple or Spotify and click Subscribe!
5/16/2023 • 38 minutes, 51 seconds
Deison Afualo: Body Neutrality, Having Supportive Family, Breakups + Her 'Thank You Next' Era
Deison Afualo is a talented and entertaining LGBTQ+ influencer who has made a name for herself on both Instagram and TikTok with her comedic rants and daily vlogs. Along with her sister Drew Afualo, she hosts a comedy podcast called "Two Idiot Girls," where they react to hilarious and embarrassing stories submitted by fans. Deison was also part of the highly successful "Two Idiot Girls Tour," where they sold out over 350 tickets per show. Her quick wit, humor, and relatable content have made her a popular figure among her followers and fans.
THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS:
- growing up in a healthy, supportive family environment
- how mental health struggles aren't always rooted in childhood
- navigating a breakup
- being in her 'Thank You Next' Era
- mental health struggles
- body neutrality + healing the relationship to your body
- practical steps for improving your self-esteem and self-worth
- what a successful, supportive family does to maintain their connection
- setting boundaries around social media and the harm of media consumption
FOLLOW + CONNECT WITH DEISON:
Deison will be attending VidCon 2023 as a speaker in June! Hear her speak and have a chance to meet her by grabbing your ticket to VidCon here: www.vidcon.com/anaheim
INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/deisonafualo
TIKTOK: www.tiktok.com/@deisonafualo
STREAM 'Two Idiot Girls' Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-idiot-girls/id1554406108
STREAM 'Two Hot Takes' Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-hot-takes/id1553199104
5/9/2023 • 53 minutes, 18 seconds
Rebuilding Self-Trust
In this week's episode, Amy deconstructs self-trust. She asks you to reflect on if you ever really had trust in yourself to begin with? Were you truly connected to the choices you were making in life and understanding of their value or were you disconnected and choosing what was modeled and taught to you. If you've ever felt a lack of self-trust or are trying to rebuild trust with yourself (or with others), this episode is for you! For more support on identifying your values and rebuilding that self-trust, as mentioned in the episode, enroll in: The Course for Trauma Survivors Setting Boundaries | amy-fiedler.teachable.com/p/trauma-survivors-setting-boundaries
This episode discusses self-trust, trust issues, healthy boundaries, childhood trauma, parenting, self-neglect, and rebuilding trust with others.
4/25/2023 • 46 minutes, 31 seconds
Noble Gibbens: Emotionally Clueless to EQ Gangster
Amy invites her first-ever guest to the podcast!
Noble is the person you'd least expect to be talking about feelings & emotions! An uncharacteristic fight with his wife a few years ago revealed a glaring issue: he was clueless when it came to handling his emotions.This West Point grad & former Army Ranger in the 82nd Airborne Division is now an EQ Practitioner and teaches Emotional Intelligence on his highly rated podcast, EQ Gangster, in his EQ Mafia Membership and through corporate coaching & consulting.Don't let the big beard & tattoos fool you - Noble is pure positive energy & passion! He brings 23 years' experience as an entrepreneur and international keynote speaker to help corporate clients, entrepreneurs, leaders & influencers get their emotions working for them, not against them.
THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS:
- healing from a people pleasing addiction
- navigating the emotional transition as a parent as your child grows up
- breaking generational trauma patterns
- modeling, honoring and intentionally pushing your child's boundaries in a controlled environment
- how boundaries are a form of emotional-management
- the value of Noble's APED method
- how emotions left unacknowledged will compound over time
- "if you can name the emotion, you can tame the emotion."
- Noble's top 3 supportive gestures in marriage and parenting
LEARN MORE FROM NOBLE:
EQ Mafia - a safe, supportive, encouraging, equipping community of people all working on their emotional fitness together, in community. https://www.eqgangster.com/mafia
CONNECT WITH NOBLE:
- IG: https://www.instagram.com/thenoblegibbens/
- LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/noble-gibbens-a2748323/
- FB: https://www.facebook.com/noble.gibbens
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw/videos