Hey there! This episode is going to be a bit different than what you are used to. Ashly explains the exciting things that we have coming for season 2! We have been working really hard on some new things and will be taking a short break. In the meantime head over to our Instagram page and check out the giveaway that we are doing this week. It ends Wednesday, September 6th 2023 and is a chance to win our entire book club collection plus a print of your choice from our sponsor Jesus Is The Christ Prints! Thanks for helping us build this wonderful community, we love you guys!

"Actively go out of your way to show your LGBTQ children that you love them, be patient with them whether they have told you about their life 10 years ago or 5 minutes ago, it is because they want you on their path. You're better off loving them and listening to them."

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering or offensive to some audiences. Parental discretion is advised.  "I am so grateful for the fact that I have a family that cared enough about me to keep in contact with me even though I didn't keep in contact with them. And the people in my life that could see I was struggling and still made the effort to be a part of my life. I am eternally grateful for them because I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have those people in my life that made an effort."

"I have felt the atonement take a burden off of my shoulders and literally remove it. It is a weight I didn't even realize I had been carrying. It was a freedom and a light in my life that I had lived so long without. When you have a moment or experience like that and when you walk in darkness and then come into the light, there is no going back."

"I still don't know why stuff has happened the way that it has happened. But that feeling I had when I walked out of that meeting with my bishop - it wasn't just like 'yeah maybe I will go back I haven't felt the spirit in a while.' No, I was both feet in going to Deseret Book to buy garments. It all came flooding back. Whatever he wanted me to do I was in."

"One day I get on my knees and say, "God I'm all in, but I cannot not drink a beer again or give 10% of my money and wear garments if I don't know. I promise I will help bring people to you and be all in but I have got to know. A few weeks later I was having a hard time again and I walked into the bathroom and saw the Book of Mormon sitting there. As soon as I see it I have this thought very clear and very strong "the answers to all the problems in your life are in that book." It was super powerful and hit me hard, My feelings of sadness went away and I could tell that was God talking to me - that was personal revelation."

"Even though I was by myself going to church, looking back on it, I don't even remember being alone. I didn't feel alone during this entire process of turning back to Him; I wasn't feeling alone anymore and I wasn't scared to go by myself. I got my recommend back and I went to the temple by myself and I never felt alone. I ended up being the happiest I had ever been. I was so excited to have that light come back within me. I just wanted to scream from the rooftops: 'I feel changed, I feel whole!'"

"I will never forget my kids being dressed in all white and being brought to us at the altar. It will always be one of the most amazing moments of my life because I knew we were going to be together forever."

"Statistically everything was against us at that point. I knew that I would never leave the church because of the spiritual experiences that I had. I had no doubt in my mind I could never give up Christ, the Church, and Heavenly Father and all my knowledge and testimony. I can't give it up, I can't give Joseph Smith up."

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering or offensive to some audiences. Parental discretion is advised.  "These miracles that I have had in my life will never lead me astray from the church again. I cannot deny these things and it is because of the strength and relationship that I have with my Heavenly Father."

"There are going to be things that we don't know, whether it has to do with policies or church history, we may. never have the answers. But that doesn't mean we need to throw away the things that we do know."

"They sang this song called 'Jesus Comes to Fight For Me' and when I heard that song it was the first time I had felt the spirit in ten years. It was very emotional for me. I had not felt the spirit for a really long time and had been through many trials and tribulations. I was lost and to feel that again was rewarding and it meant there was something out there, that being sober was going to be ok, and that eventually everything would be ok."

"I ran track so I would go on long runs out in the country by myself. On one run I had stopped to walk for a little bit and I could feel God's presence. I just knew God was trying to say something to me. I felt that He knew me and that He loved me, and that He had a plan for me. There were going to be some scary things that He was going to ask me to do, but I just had to face my fears and if I did I would find out that He was bigger than anything I was afraid of."

"For the first time in my life I decided to humble myself and say a sincere prayer. I just wanted to know God, are you there? What can I do, what do I need to do? Immediately after saying that I heard a voice "you need to go back on your mission." All of the feelings of anger, frustration, and confusion that I had felt from many past years were gone. I will never forget how at peace I felt and how close to God I felt at that moment. That experience has been the bedrock for everything I have done since in the church because I know that was real."

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering or offensive to some audiences. Parental discretion is advised.  "Learn to give what you can and stick with it. There are going to be dark valleys but there is light and hope on the other side of them. We're going to have to do some work but balance that with compassion. Move forward and go back to the things that you know, that is why we are counseled to write things down."

"I love watching Jesus Christ work in the hard things. I love watching Him heal others from these hard places. I can go to the temple and feel the spirit, I know I can and I should be there. In the heavy I know I can bring my 5 loaves and 2 fishes. I have so little things that I can offer. My husband and I are in no way perfect foster parents, but our heart is there. If we bring what we have to offer to God He is going to sanctify it and he's going to make it enough."

"I was seeing all these things where I was like 'Wow - what is the Nauvoo endowment doing in the Book of Mormon?' I had been convinced that Joseph Smith didn't know anything about the endowment until he became a freemason in 1842, instead I was seeing it all over the Book of Mormon. I was seeing it in accounts of Joseph Smith's first vision and acquiring his seer stone. I was seeing it in the accounts of the lost 116 pages of the Book of Mormon. My mind was kind of blown."

"It was as if I was sitting in this mist of darkness and it was like he lifted me up. I saw myself lifted out of this dark cloud and I was up above in the sky and could see the light. I was given a whole new view, all the sudden he was teaching me and he was showing me how he loved me. All the things that I had struggled with I was finally seeing through God's eyes."

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering or offensive to some audiences. Parental discretion is advised.  "It doesn't matter if it's a baby step or if we are sprinting. He just cares that we are moving forward so that He can bless us. I was standing still and allowed dark thoughts to creep in and lose faith in my Heavenly Father. But the moment I took that step I was flooded with all these blessings."

"In class we had the stake president talking. He was shorter in stature, but just a spiritual giant. I could feel it as he started talking. I was on the fence if I really wanted to investigate the church. He started going back and forth, pacing and talking about Joseph Smith and The Book of Mormon and all these factual things. He is a very successful person and I was thinking "How could such a smart guy be fooled by all this, this doesn't make sense." Some of the concerns he was bringing I thought "That's a really good point, I have never thought of that." It was almost like on his piece of paper he had all of my concerns and he was just checking them off one by one. I was just sitting in the corner bawling."

"Be open to other people's opinions. I used to think "this church is either true or it is not." I never thought there could be any grey area. The way I saw everything was so black and white but that is something I have learned, is to be open to other possibilities. Don't just cut everything off because one thing doesn't make sense."

"If this is a paragraph from your book of possibilities then the only way you get to read the rest of the book is if you record the feelings that you have when you seek revelation from it. So you should start asking questions."

"The witness more powerful than sight applies especially to the roles of actual, demanding experience and developing a witness that one knows the Savior. It's one thing to know about Him, or even to see Him, but quite another to know Him. And that higher degree of knowing usually comes after complexity - often it comes because of the complexity."

"I remember listening to the story "Seventeen Points of the True Church" and thinking that I believe this is all true. I don't need the proof. I knew the church was true and that I needed to come back. That was the beginning of my journey."

"The church is alive, it is a living gospel. The way to know the difference between a live houseplant and a fake houseplant is that the real one has brown spots and dead leaves. There's going to be imperfections in anything that is alive and growing and living. It's just a fact of life. We are all human and make mistakes. The church is a living organism."

"Getting endowed was the most special day in my life. I had never felt so whole inside as a person, without needing someone else's approval. I myself did this, and I am ok with being who I am. I have God with me all the time now, and there is nothing else that you really need. That feeling alone was worth anything."

"In my patriarchal blessing I was told that my health wasn't going to be an issue, that I was going to be strong and have the strength necessary to serve a mission. There were some great promises about me being able to bear my testimony in another part of the world. The spirit was so strong during that blessing and I knew what the patriarch was saying was coming from my Heavenly Father. That blessing gave me the strength and courage to keep going."

"One day in sacrament meeting I was worked up about some doctrinal question and the frustration of still not feeling I could get answers to prayer very well. They had announced the closing hymn was "How Firm A Foundation" which is precious to me, I had memorized all 7 verses. As soon as that was announced I had a question in my mind "Heavenly Father, I am believing and I am going, but what do I believe?" I felt the Lord bring into my memory "fear not I am with thee for be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give the aid." With that came the gift of peace right in that moment."

"I was playing football with my boys and my oldest said "Dad, I really want to go back to church. I miss it." And I asked "Why do you miss it?" And he says "I miss the feeling I had there." Then the other boys chimed in and said they really wanted to go back to Scouts. Then we all hugged and had that moment and they just said "Dad can you take us back to church?" And it just floored me, so I took them the next week."

"If I intend to make a difference in this dispensation, it's gathering together in one all things in Christ. And I need the understanding of my LGBT brothers and sisters. I need the understanding of ex latter-day saints, because they can show us our blind spots in ways no one else can. I need the experiences and perspectives of everyone, until we form one great whole of truth. Until we can say to our parents in heaven "we are all coming home" and that to me is what the gospel of Jesus Christ is all about."

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering or offensive to some audiences. Parental discretion is advised.  "I had never really completely lost my testimony. It was always back there, I would always say I didn't want it. I didn't want my testimony, it was so inconvenient. It frustrated me so bad that I couldn't shake it! I wanted to be able to do this and that and not feel guilty or like I was doing something wrong. It just wouldn't go away! But thank goodness that it didn't, The Savior was not going to give up on me."

"I was at a friend's house and on my way to a church activity and I had my scriptures. My friend asked me "What are those?" And I said it's my Bible, Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, and Doctrine and Covenants. These are our sacred books in my faith. And he goes "What's the Book of Mormon?" I started to describe what we believe about the Book of Mormon. I specifically said, we believe that some ancient Israelites left Israel and migrated to the Americas. As I was talking with him about this, I got my witness and felt like my whole body was on fire."

"We all have the ability to impact one another's life. Life is full of making human connections, interacting with people, and helping one another. We all have trials and different experiences, but at the end of the day, we are here to love one another. We are here to lighten each others burdens. And when we see past ourselves that is when I think our Heavenly Parents are the happiest."

"I don't like things that are casual about freedom and I don't like things that are casual about the testimony of the gospel. It is real and it is true. There's no doubt in my mind."

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering or offensive to some audiences. Parental discretion is advised. "So I go into disobedience council and I told them my story. The love that these brethren had - how they treated this sinner, how they treated this gay man, was probably the most spiritual experience I have had, and I have had some big ones. These people loved me, this was the atonement. This is how it works. The Lord is going to bless me, He has continually blessed me and forgiven me."

"The greatest doctrinal truths, to me, is the atonement of Jesus Christ. It's in the Book of Mormon we get the phrase "the Infinite Atonement" and we learn all the ways the atonement is infinite, including being retroactive in time. We can be cleansed before the purchase price ever took place. In the Bible we know that Christ redeemed us from sin and death, but The Book of Mormon teaches us that it also had enabling powers and that He could comfort and strengthen us in our weaknesses and perfect our imperfections. It was not just designed to cleanse us, but to perfect us."

One time my dad called me a few days after the seizure happened and I was trying to explain this feeling to him. I said "Dad I don't know what is going on, I have so much gratitude but at the same time I just had this life altering event. I don't know what happened, if I have some scary thing going on, but I just feel so much gratitude." He answered "I really think that is the spirit telling you that He is there with you and you are on the right track." That very second I connected the dots and I realized this was meant to happen. I had just prayed for an answer, and in the weirdest way, it felt so real to me. Ever since then I knew this was my answer.

Being an African American in the church has always been interesting, and to say I have never experienced any prejudice from any members in the church would not be true. But my mom always says "Why would I let someone stand between me and God? I just let things like that roll off my back." And I do the same thing.

"We went to visit a kid who wanted to serve a mission so his dad comes out and says "I haven't come to church because I'm too embarrassed to come to church. I drink, and I haven't had a job for a year." I got a burning in my bosom and that was the first time I had that, ever. So I knew I needed to speak up and I told him my story. We were standing outside in 26 degree weather teaching them lessons and I couldn't have felt warmer. That family started slowly coming back over the next few months and are now really strong in the gospel."

"I was in a room filled with other people that had been abused as children and they were talking about how worthless they were and how much they didn't deserve anything. I was looking at all these women who were the most beautiful women, that had this beautiful light to them, telling me how worthless they were. I just thought "oh my gosh these are the most beautiful and amazing women - and they have no idea!" Then the spirit spoke to me and said "that is how I feel about you." From them on, that is when I chose to love myself and chose to see myself as a daughter of God."

There is absolutely a place for LGBTQ+ in the church. That is because this is Jesus Christ's church and they are children of God, it is that simple. There are a lot of facets to it, but it really is that simple. My testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is founded on my testimony of Jesus Christ being my savior. He is the savior of all mankind. Of everyone who is living, who has ever lived, and who will ever live. Anyone in LBGTQ+ community is not excluded from that. It doesn't make it easy, but I know it is possible because of Him.

"As I was packing to go home early from my mission, I saw my Book of Mormon on my bed. I jumped on top of my bed and I clenched the Book of Mormon with both hands. I remember calling out to God "Is this book true or not? I need to know!" The next thing that happened was a wave of the spirit hit me, and then another wave, and another wave. For about two minutes the strongest spiritual wave just kept hitting and every wave was getting stronger and stronger and stronger. Right then I was told by the Spirit, you have been led here. Like D&C 112:10. That scripture is one of my favorite scriptures because I realized I had been led to that point. And that is when I knew I could never deny that experience at that time. I knew it was true and I could never deny that moment that happened in that little trailer."

I dusted off my scriptures and let them fall open on a whim of 1% hope and 99% cynicism. My eyes were drawn to 14 words - no more no less - and they were "Ye have not applied your hearts to understanding; therefore, ye have not been wise." Which stunned me and struck me very powerfully. I pondered on that and let that work itself through me. That softened me and opened the door to saying, OK I will go to my family's ward.

"I had to put all of my doubts and all of my fears and all of my anxiety and frustrations on a sacrificial table, and say these stay here and I want the blessings more. So that's what I did, and I met with the bishop and the stake president. That Thursday I went to the temple and the following week the temples were shut down. It was so significant to me how many steps had to be completed and in place in order for my heart to be ready to do that. It was a huge step and something that I never thought I would do...When things were dark and it was hard, to have those extra covenants and blessings were really important to me. There was no accident that it happened the way that it did."

"When the dust settles the only question that really arises to the forefront of my mind is: Does the restoration make God present to me? Do I see God's hand in evidence in the good that the church does, in the good that the gospel accomplishes in the lives of individuals and the access that it gives me to the gifts of the spirit and to the beauties and the truths of eternity? Well, then all the rest is just secondary to that." Join us with guests Lauren Rose and Alba Lucia as we discuss October's Book Club "The Crucible of Doubt" with author Terryl Givens. To date, Terryl has written and edited over 20 books, and has many more on the horizon. Some of his favorite include his collaborations with his wife, Fiona. Terryl has spent much of the last 20 years tracing the history and theology of the Latter-day Saints, but for most of his career, he taught Romantic literature (think more Shelley than Sparks). Whether its hosting insightful podcasts on Faith Matters or speaking to Saints the  world over  at intimate firesides, Terryl’s mission is to help everyone–no matter where they are in their journey of faith–come closer to Jesus Christ.

"At some point in the program God started to work in my life in a way that I recognized. I was reading through the big book and I came to section 11 that talks about when we retire at night we reflect upon our day and when we wake up in the morning we think about the day ahead. Where have we been dishonest and selfish and where can we be of service to others? As we pause throughout the day when we feel doubtful we seek guidance. I started physically, mentally, and with my heart doing these things and every morning I would get on my knees and I would pray. I would read a passage and think about those things. I thought where can I be of service to others and ask God to help me be of service to others today and to be open to those suggestions. If someone was doing something where I could help I would help, if someone wanted someone to volunteer for something I would volunteer for it. The biggest thing I asked Him for, was to help me do the things I don't want to do today and He did."

"The thought that I was a square peg trying to fit in a round hole was a big fat lie. Our identity is children of God, and of course we are all misfits, every single one of us is, we all need Christ! No one is the same, there is no perfect member out there, it doesn't exist, it is just a narrative that we tell ourselves and becomes an excuse, it became an excuse for me. We all belong with Christ. Another thing there is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt can be good as it encourages healthy changes in our lives. Shame is a tool used by the adversary, shame deters us and is more like an external thing, it's about what others think of us. We can shame ourselves but it usually has to do with some sort of external criteria. While guilt is like an internal, motivating process that helps us learn and grow, and that is why we are here! We aren't here for it to be easy. My last takeaway is that Christ is always there waiting for us. Always. He never gives up on us, in the dark times and the low times, especially, He is there. He is just waiting for us to turn our face towards Him. I experienced that and can testify of the deep and incredible love that He has for us, we can always turn back to Him and he can save us. His love is infinite, we don't even have the capacity to understand it right now."

"At one point I was at the lowest of the low and I went to church. During church I just decided "OK I am going to have a reset, I am going to fight my way back." So right there I started cleaning up my social media, putting limits on my phone and getting my calendar updated, those types of things. Then after church my friend invited me to stake choir and I decided to give it a chance. We sat down and sang the song "Be Still My Soul" and that was the second time in my life I felt that burning in the bosom, just straight out of the scriptures. An undeniable feeling, I just remembered it again with the peace and the hope and the optimism, the passion. All of those emotions just came flooding, in what I believe to be the fruits of the spirit."

"When I got into prison the first thing I asked my family was to send me a triple combination. I had never read the Book of Mormon cover to cover. Prior to that it was piece by piece. It is hard to put into words the amount of darkness you feel while in prison that is surrounding you. You are always reminded of how horrible your decisions are, you are beaten down left and right. I religiously started reading the Book of Mormon everyday, really studying it and trying to understand it and grow my own testimony. I started to notice it brought me so much comfort no matter what was going on around me. My scriptures became a guide and a light to me in such a dark place."

"People ask me how I do this - well, the church is true, and Joseph Smith was a prophet. I have been out in the world and I've looked at so many different things, I have explored a very secular world and there is nothing and nowhere that brings me the kind of joy that I get from going to church."

"I just felt an overwhelming rush, a feeling of love that I had never in my whole life felt. It was a lot, it was a lot of feelings and I just collapsed to the floor, I just felt all the weight of everything that had been going on had been lifted and I felt wrapped up in love. I knew that God was telling me that I was doing the right thing and that I needed to take President Nelson seriously and I needed to be listening to his teachings. It is one of those things I still cling to on my bad days because the only way to describe that experience was a complete feeling of God's love."

"We did this guided imagery meditation on The Savior my second day on the ranch - and man - I still get the chills and emotional whenever I talk about it. Because as much as I wanted to be mad at God and hold on to that resentment, I just started sobbing, and for me to cry - it's hard for me to get to an emotional place. But when she started that amazing imagery of The Savior, and taking my wounded heart and replacing it with His heart, that is just full of love and light - I was sobbing. And during that, I had this overwhelming feeling and what I heard with my heart was the message that 'I am still here and I have always been here, and if you meet me halfway in this thing - I got you.'" Bryan shares his story of coming back after addiction, doubts, tough questions, and suicidal thoughts.  One of my favorite episodes! <3

"One day I had this thought 'I just really want to feel love from my family!' Then I got this phone call from my mother saying 'Laurel your dad and I want to invite you and your girlfriend over for dinner and games in a couple of weeks.' That struck a chord because that was the first time that has ever happened, and I was like 'OK awesome!'  The Lord is so in our lives and He recognizes what we want and need and He brings those miracles and tender mercies. With that kind gesture my parents offered me, my heart began to soften, my layers started peeling off, and I started to feel that love and to believe it again." Laurel shares her story of trying her hardest to serve a mission despite health challenges. After coming home early from her mission for the second time, she describes the struggles she experienced. Laurel tried finding happiness outside of the church, and eventually was led back after feeling God reaching out to her. Laurel now finds peace & joy by serving as a temple worker.

"I felt the spirit and I knew this was true, and I went back to church. It was like putting a glove on, an old good fittin' glove that just feels so good. I remember the very first time I went back to church in a decade - I went by myself - I didn't go with my wife. And they sang my mother's favorite hymn and my deceased brother Blake's favorite song. His was the first song and my mom's was the sacrament hymn, and I just sobbed through that whole meeting. I don't remember a word anyone said, not a word. I just remember those two hymns, they were beautiful, and I felt that spirit come over me. It was so powerful and I got up after that meeting and walked up to the bishop and said 'Hi my name is Matt Arvidson and I need to get my life in order.'" - Matt

Julie was raised in the church. At a young age she was the victim of sexual abuse. After her father and grandfather were arrested for abuse, she had to deal with the repercussions of everyone she knew treating her different because of the situation, including ward members. She struggled finding places to live, and eventually enlisted in the army. She met a man that became her husband, and they started taking missionary discussions together and he was baptized. Later she found out things were not what they seemed to be in her marriage, and it ended in divorce. Julie came back to Utah and found love and hope in new friends. She witnessed miracles that pushed her back to the gospel. Today, Julie's love for the gospel & the peace that radiates through her life, is evident.

Leo started to grapple with his faith when he started uncovering information about church history that he had never heard before. It sent him down a rabbit hole of information that caused him to question everything he had ever been taught. A series of miraculous events pushed Leo back to the church, he couldn't deny God's hand in his life. Leo is back as a fully active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He uses his experience to help others stay on the covenant path with his non-profit called Uplift Community of Faith. One of the most powerful moments of the podcast episode was when I asked Leo if he has any doubts or concerns that still bother him, to which he simply replied - no.

*DISCLAIMER* This podcast goes into some of the more in depth questions that can be challenging for church members to grapple with.* I am a huge fan of Jasmine's. Her knowledge and testimony of the gospel is incredible. I have seen several of her videos and knew that I wanted her to join the podcast and give answers to some of the tough questions that can challenge a persons testimony, and ultimately refine it to be more mature.  Questions in regards to the history of the church can ultimately lead to strength and more assurance of our testimony if we can turn to the Lord. 

Nichelle Nelson shares her amazing story of why she chose to come back to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints after exploring other religions, and being out of the church for a number of years.  Nichelle reconverted to the church without her husband, and she shares her experience of a mixed faith marriage.  You will love this story of faith & hope. "I prayed so hard for the desire to want to change. I know without a doubt I could not have done that without our savior Jesus Christ. There was another force, another power that made it possible for me to change because I, myself, could not have done that." - Nichelle

“I had been faithful and active all my life. I held callings, served a mission, was sealed in the temple and everything that was considered “on the path”. Then, in the middle of a divorce at a young age (only 23), my husband shared his years of research against the church and I took in all of it in a few short months. Podcasts, videos, blogs, forums, articles, books, etc against the church, “proving” that the doctrine was completely false. Pretty soon, not only had I announced to my family I was leaving the church, but I didn’t even believe in God at all anymore. Religion seemed silly and naive. Something made up by well-meaning people to help others navigate the difficulties of life. But the Mormon religion seemed especially repulsive. The church felt cultish and dark and I felt relief to know better and be free from it. Then one afternoon, while thinking about my new life…the spirit led me to important questions. How would I explain to my children that our extended family was religious but we were not? If leaving the church means more money, more time on the weekends and less rules, am I taking an easier path? Did I REALLY know for sure that God wasn’t real? Could I, with my limited understanding, so easily settle a matter that has been debated for centuries by the brightest minds in history? And then I thought, if it’s not real…then you just die and nothing matters. But what if it is? IF this is real…EVERYTHING matters. I won’t know for certain either way so maybe I need to give it a chance. I decided I needed more information so I could be certain. So I searched MORE, asked MORE and Gods answers came. Slowly over the next two years I received line upon line and rebuilt my testimony like a convert learning these truths for the first time. A mentor that knew of my struggles suggested that I read "The Crucible of Doubt" by the Givens. I read it all in one day and felt a flood of spiritual reassurance and power that I hadn't felt in a long time. I knew I was onto something. So I started with the basics. If I want to know if God existed, maybe I should try praying to Him. If I want to learn about Christ, maybe I should read about Him. Read what He taught and said. I decided that I might never believe in God again fully or have a testimony like I once did but that I wanted to live my life as if it were ALL true. Just in case. My first bishop back was a huge blessing. He assigned me to teach 4 year olds in primary. It was the ABSOLUTE perfect thing my fragile spirit needed. When I wanted to go to the temple, that bishop asked me all the questions. In all of my answers I told him that I did not know. I was not sure about any of it, but that I wanted to learn and felt the temple could help me in some way. He told me that there was no better place for me to learn and gave me a recommend. With each small and unsure step I took toward Him, God blessed me with just enough of the spirit's reassurance to take me onto the next step. I studied and prayed. A lot. And I learned and learned and the spirit gave me such strong witnesses of the truths that I was slowly relearning. I learned the pattern that we are always taught in the church but are too skeptical to take literally; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. It took two years for me to gain the conviction I had lost and much much more.”

Dusty Smith converted to the church, served a mission, and was pen pals with Elder Perry. After encountering "anti-Mormons" for the first time, he started researching church topics that he had never heard before In church history. Dusty left the church for 26 years. He spent those years doing everything he could to tear down the church. He debated In online forums with members, trying to prove the church wasn't true. After many miracles, including a priesthood blessing and a miraculous healing.. Dusty came back. One of his favorite people to debate the church with, had been putting his name on the temple prayer roll for years. Dusty says his love and prayers led to his coming back. Dusty baptized, and was sealed to his wife. Now he does everything he can to make up for his years of attacking... including having his story of redemption told by Elder Uchtdorf In conference. Dusty's message to you: "Remember, Heavenly Father love you as much as if you were the only person on the planet. No matter what happens In your life, Heavenly Father will always believe In you."

Preston shares his story of overcoming addiction, coming back to God, and going on to run a treatment center based on gospel principals.  "It starts in the quiet moments. When you are in the quiet moments and you feel like something is missing.. and you start remembering what life was like when you had the spirit with you and you had that natural joy. I think the world is really good at distracting us, and we can stay busy most of the time if we really want to. But the things that are significant, the things that really help us align with our purpose & values, and bring us fulfillment, aren’t from this world." "I asked God if he knew who I was and if he cared about me. I got on my knees to pray and I had this overwhelming feeling of a spiritual warm blanket, hugged me. I felt God’s love. After that experience, I felt different. I had hope again. I knew God really was there. It was life changing. "

"When I came back to the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I was so humble and so broken. I didn't go to the church just wanting it to be true. I wanted to find the truth wherever it was, and I was willing to go anywhere to find it. I didn't have an agenda. I wasn't searching for a church that fit with MY ideas - I had no ideas. I knew I was wrong. I was genuinely searching for the truth and that is what made the difference for me. I was like this sponge that was just soaking everything in. I kept thinking about how different my family's lives would have been had we stayed in the church. I was filled with regret. I was also so freed, because I had so much hope. Once I found out there was a God, everything changed and there was a light inside of me. People could see it. I was so genuinely happy." -Lauren

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering or offensive to some audiences. Parental discretion is advised.  "Let me tell you something Ashly, one of the most painful, soul ripping things that happened to me, was the day I took off my garments. I can’t even begin to tell you… did I have a testimony? Apparently I did. Because, when I took those garments off, and I still have the picture in my head of those garments laying in a heap on the floor. When I took them off I knew I wasn’t going to put them back on." After being sexually abused as a child, Cheryl dealt with many trials in her younger years. Eventually she left the church, and grew to hate it.  Cheryl experienced many small miracles that pushed her back to the church.  This is her story of coming back. 

Portia shares her experience of growing up in a non traditional home and coming back to the church after going through teen pregnancy, drugs, adoption, getting sober, and then eventually going to prison.  Portia is an incredible person who puts her heart into sharing her story to influence for good. She helps run the "Worldwide United" page on Facebook that has over 500k members. She shares her story with missionaries at the MTC, works with recovering addicts, and many others who are trying to find their way.  Her story is one you don't want to miss. 

Jason Ruch, police officer of 16 years, SVU detective, SWAT team member, shares his story of coming back to The Church of Jesus Christ, after divorce, being excommunicated and battling alcohol.  He shares his experience of how losing his dad made his heart yearn for peace.  Jason is now married in them temple, has an incredible family and love for the gospel.