Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as Arya takes a tour through every stage of grief and evidences some abandonment issues and we realize this episode should be sponsored by a therapy service. Tyrion's buddies are thriving and we realize that in another universe, Sandor has a future as a camp counselor for damaged children. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya XII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 515

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Things are bleak at the Wall, but Donal Noye, total badass that he is, and Jon are on it even if he is only 16. If we were looking at the HR roster for the Watch, he'd be our pick for command t Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 514

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos may not have all his fingertips, but he's sure got balls. Robert's kids are awesome and we'll definitely miss the Davos/Stannis/Melisandre not-so-fun-times chapters. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 513

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaime’s homecoming sucks. Cersei gives, but we must ask. Sure Jaime’s a deadbeat dad, but Joff really was a dick. And Jaime might be good at bluffing, but Tywin always wins the staring contests. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jaime VII (repost). Originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 512

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansa turns from porcelain, to ivory, to steel, but finds herself fleeing from one terrible situation to another. Littlefinger's plots make almost as much sense as his ways of wooing women. We mourn the lack of SanSan in the show, and wonder if Sansa will ever get to actually kiss a half decent man. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa V (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 511

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s a nice day for a Purple Wedding. Olenna’s giving Sansa some serial killer hairnet realness. Joffrey stars in his first and last “I’m on a horse!” Old Spice commercial. GRRM might be the original wordy food blogger, so you can just shove some pigeon pie down your cake hole for the very bestest chapter ever. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion VIII (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 510

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time for Joffrey's wedding breakfast, but where are the Bloody Marys and cheesy hashbrowns, George? Who needs fantasy football when you can have fantasy Kingsguards? Did Robert have a subscription to Melees Monthly? Tyrion is...problematic and no matter what tidbits GRRM give us, we're just not here for your Targ BS. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 509

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Turns out not everyone is that into dragon sex dungeons. If you need staff who can keep their mouth shut, Brella's your girl. Tyrion talks himself out of loving a whore. Again. Like Shae we aim high by going low. Are the Brave Companions the real J/B shippers? Hooray for Occasional Gents x 2! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VII (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 508

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany's crew is at their peak as they take on Meereen and each other's treachery. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Daenerys V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 507

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This chapter's got lore galore, a POV character meet-up, Meera being awesome and the plot moving forward. More of this, please! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Bran IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 506

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We all love what George does with his Dicks. Is Mance the first person in a thousand years to think about attacking Castle Black from the rear? Could Jon and Ygritte have had it all? Or at least something? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon VII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 505

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos is the guy we all want on our small council, especially in the chapter where he's the only one in the room trying to talk his king out of sacrificing a kid. Is it Pie-los? Pee-los? Jim? Who can say? However you pronounce it, he's smart enough in his choice of teaching material. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 504

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Joffrey doesn’t know when to just take a win, but Tyrion knows when to pull out the Michael Jackson popcorn gif. Cersei had one job! We decide we prefer a Benadryl timeout. And we learn that Elia was an afterthought because Tywin is the real monster here. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion VI (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 503

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The short, bleak, unhappy chapter in which everything hurts and we torture ourselves wondering if it could have ended any better. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya XI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 502

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lord Walder Frey and The Chinless Collective cordially invite you to the Red Wedding (the red is for love!). The music is crap (you try playing the lute while sitting on a crossbow) and the food is worse, but at least the reception isn't boring. Sob! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Catelyn VII (repost). Originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 501

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Settle in for Walder Frey's totally not ominous disjointed musicians. Sandor fools old tourney foes while Arya looks for friendly banners. Which POV are we missing at the Red Wedding? Roose? Edmure? Robb? George likes to slow things down when bad things are happening, a trick we'll remember if he ever publishes The Winds of Winter. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya X.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 500

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s still raining. We’re not sure how Walder Frey keeps finding wives, but we’re glad he never met Selwyn Tarth. Cat’s got bread, salt, and hip size on the brain. Roose may be an immortal Mike Pence, but at least he’s proud of Ramsay. We wonder if Jaime was Brienne’s chaperone. And everybody needs to listen to their dogs. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Catelyn VI (repost). Originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 499

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon makes his way back to Castle Black passing through Molestown and its one-room brothel. Is Maester Aemon Daredevil or is the First Aid setup at the Wall deficient? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 498

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya and Sandor are on their own little road trip. Sandor is the third-grade teacher you know better than to mess around with. He has Arya's number and is prepared to wrap her up like a burrito if she doesn't behave, but in a weird way these two relate. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya IX.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 497

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sam's chapters continue to be just an exquisite horror story, so, of course, we feel especially bad for the animals. Speaking of animals, what's up with those ravens? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Samwell III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 496

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s still raining. The party of the damned is on their last road trip and everything hurts. Catelyn wants Robb to name Ser Random from the Vale as his heir, but he’s not having any of it. We’re positive there’s a will, but does it really matter? How did we miss what was gonna go down the first time we read this? There is good news, though! Tina (cutiepillar-blog on tumblr) is going to Con of Thrones and is looking for other JB shippers! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Catelyn V (repost). Originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 495

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We have gathered here together to pray at the Church of Holy Weirwood Dreams. Ctrl F or GTFO. In one of ASoIaF's most epic chapters we've got bears, maidens, Bloodraven and some of the most swoonworthy lines in the series. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Jaime VI (repost). Originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 494

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Before we sadly say goodbye to the "good" BwB, Arya gets some hot gossip about her dad and Gendry gets a little green when it comes to Ned Dayne. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 493

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany's in Yunkai, but none of us know why. Daario needs Coco Chanel's sartorial advice and we are so questioning Dany's taste in men. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords -Daenerys IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 492

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon and Ygritte get deep (get your mind out of the gutter) and break our hearts. Summer is the best boy, but was Bran pulling the paws? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 491

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We love the world building, but not so much the mind r*pe. Does Jojen have really good vision, or really good "vision"? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Bran III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 490

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Are we crazy, or was the Hound trying to join the BwB? Beric continues to be awesome. Arya loses another friend. And GRRM's writing is seriously rocking. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya VII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 489

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. How many podcasters does it take to pronounce Jalabhar Xho correctly? Come for the Dornish jokes, but stay for the introduction of Oberyn Martell, who lives up to the hype, somehow. Is Oberyn too sexy for his shirt? Is Willas the founder of the Westerosi thoroughbred? Is it really that hard to administer the new King's Landing whore tax? We answer these questions and more. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion V (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 488

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaime Lannister defense squad reporting for duty! Jaime's half a god and half of corpse, but there's nothing wrong with his eyesight where naked Brienne is concerned. It's time to share some secrets in the Harrenhal bathhouse! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Jaime V (repost). Originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 487

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos is out of prison. Did Stannis even know he was in there??? Stannis is drained...in so many ways. Davos becomes Hand and offers Stannis his tongue—more on that at eleven. Kill Bill sirens go off when Melisandre enters but Davos is just “happy” to be here. Burning leeches in lieu of burning children feels like the better choice. Reluctant Stannis fans unite under George’s “honorable POV endorses bad person” permission structure. Stavos is our favorite Davos ship! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 486

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion wants Sansa (gross). Hoster’s dead, y’all. Tully funerals are kind of like ours except no one is bringing the equivalent of a three-bean salad. Edmure looses his shaft, but can’t finish. And Lame Lothar Frey and Walder Rivers are really expert at good cop/bad cop. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Catelyn IV (repost). Originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 485

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Take a trip down the zombie cave where Arya's prayers almost get answered when Sandor faces trial by combat. We don’t want to be Sandor apologists but, ok, he didn't kill all those people. Is there a literal lance hole through Beric Dondarrion? The Brotherhood Without Banners are very blasé about their leader getting cut in half. Oh well, he'll be back. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 484

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sam’s living in a Craster powder keg, but somehow Grenn is shirtless so it’s not all bad news. Sam's imposter syndrome gets the better of him again, but he’s not the only one who doesn’t know what they’re doing. Jeor Mormont, how long have you been Lord Commander? Everyone wants a piece of Bannen. Pets taste sad. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Samwell II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 483

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion wants Sansa (gross). Symon Silver Tongue just wants to be a star. We just want to share our newest conspiracy theory. Also..remember back in 2015 when GRRM thought he was done with Winds? Good times. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion IV (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 482

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Things get hella dark. Brienne is Jaime's binky. These two fools know how to save each other and it kind of breaks our hearts. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Jaime IV (repost). Originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 481

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In a chapter that could have been an email, The Wall fights back. We wonder who really has the Horn of Joramun, but more importantly, does anyone have any Jarlsberg cheese? Finally, we think we have a better idea for the Amazon position. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 480

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We discuss the parallels between Arya/Gendry and Jaime/Brienne. GRRM may have read Anne of Green Gables, but he needs to lay off some of the more ludicrous male fantasies. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 479

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome to only the third worst wedding in ASoS! Misery loves company - and so does Cersei. Sansa still wants Willas, the puppies, and the barge. We just want GRRM to get his timelines straight and quit with the inaccurate nipple references. Let's shut the door and go there as Sansa's personal nightmare continues. #NotAllOccasionalGents Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa III. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 478

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's Dany's finest hour, and even Chicky and Comma are stans? She may have crossed the Trident, but who's thinking about the poor guys who have to move Dany's loot back and forth? And guys, we're so tired of prophecies that will never be fulfilled. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Daenerys III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 477

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Bow chicka wow wow. Before things get hot and heavy, Jon has to send Ghost back and has to do some fast talking to stay alive but not give up the Watch. Is it pronounced Yarl, Jarl, or Bob? Evidently men North of the Wall don’t go South of the Wall. Do Jon and Ygritte stay in Gendel’s cave forever or do they have too much skin in the game not to pull out? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 476

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this episode, we discuss the complex relationship of Melisandre and Davos, two characters who don’t have the same journey to Stannis standom, but are in it together. Davos has a TripAdvisor review of the Dragonstone dungeon and it’s not all bad. Alester Florent is not equipped for prison, not even in a two-star facility. George has a quest for our Devan, but he is reluctant to accept it. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 475

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. When you’re on the road, there’s nothing better than some blood sausages and granola to lift your spirits. It’s story time for Bran, Jojen, Hodor and Meera and we learn The Story of the Laughing Knight. And yes, we absolutely needed the wiki to get all the allusions. We think we know who everyone is, but fandom will make a theory out of everything. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Bran II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 474

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We're angry on Dany's behalf in what is probably the grossest chapter in ASoIaF. Do better. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Daenerys II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 473

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We go deep on Robin Hood in one of Arya's last happy chapters. Thoros is a cool youth pastor. Lady Smallwood is a delight. And why no five-year gap, George? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 472

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaime wants to touch Brienne a lot. Goodbye Cleos Frey, we barely knew ye. Eon needs to find a new mani/pedi nail place. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Jaime III (repost). Originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 471

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If you were wondering if Lord Karstark could be more of a jerk, the answer is a resounding yes, as his act of pointless vengeance puts Robb in an impossible position. Between the nakedness of Willem Lannister and Tion Frey’s bodies and Jeyne being way too comfortable talking to her new mother-in-law about all the sex she’s having with Robb, it’s an icky chapter. But at least she’s got wide hips. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Catelyn III (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 470

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Littlefinger Dice Clay has got the jokes, but can he survive a double karate chop to his groin region? Everyone wonders if Joffrey’s wedding will have an open bar. Also, is everyone poisoning everyone? Maybe. At least everyone knows they could do worse than Willas Tyrell. But seriously, where in the world is Tyrek Lannister? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion III (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 469

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. While Sam may be slaying Others, Lord Commander Mormont is slaying us with his hot competency. While this epic chapter could stand alone, we sure hope someday we'll get the rest of the story. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Samwell I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 468

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya knows they’re going the wrong way but Gendry assumes the BWB know a Riverrun shortcut. Hot Pie was not made for life on the run, but he will handle all your breadbaking needs. Tom of Sevenstreams gets in a subtle dig at Jaime, but is this just a sign that George is too excessive with his Easter Eggs? Arya would have gotten away if Harwin didn’t have horse super powers. We reluctantly explore Richard Lonmouth/Lem Lemoncloak theories but all we really know is that ASoIaF is a rich unfinished tapestry that’s slowly unraveling. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 467

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cersei is why Sansa can’t have nice things. Sansa’s getting all the cloaks. We figured out why Winds is so long in coming (and it’s not what you might think). Stop asking GRRM about discrepancies in the books. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa II (repost). Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 466

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Chicky commits a “meaty” chapter faux pas, but Jon really does have it bad for Ms. Kissed By Fire. George really wants us to know the Giants aren’t human, and reminds us why we always hate (but memory hole) Harma Dogshead. Tormund’s backstory is a little much, but at least it’s entertaining. Ygritte saves Jon more than once, and we wish we had her POV. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 465

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Catelyn’s joy at being reunited with Robb fades when she realizes her baby isn’t a virgin anymore. Everyone hates Edmure—the inevitable result of being the youngest sibling? Is Sybell Spicer the shadow Cat of the Westerlings? Also, Stark magical sperm. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn II (repost). Originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 464

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya, Gendry, and Hot Pie meet the merry band from Robin Hood Men in Tights. George gave up on names and just started using placeholders like Husband and Boy. Hot Pie goes full Paul Hollywood in his bread critique. And Arya finally, briefly, gets to let go. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Arya II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 463

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. What is the process for becoming a Kingsguard? Do they ask them “If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?” Does Varys have back problems? Can Tyrion get any more disgusting? Is Shae dying to go the wedding of the century? How does Tyrion function without nose hair? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords Tyrion II (repost). Originally recorded in July 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 462

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Jaime fires off some classic quips, but the real surprise is that Brienne has a sense of humor too. Our favorite couple-to-be continues to bicker their way over the hills and through the woods of the Riverlands. Jaime tries to give a little bit, but Brienne isn't having any of it...yet. We're reminded again that GRRM gives these characters life, while the show just gave us tits and windows. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jaime II (repost). Originally recorded in June 2019   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 461

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos looks like hell, but wants to blame Mel. Lyseni pirates are the best, especially that gem Salladhor Saan. Melisandre loves a good burning, but did she actually just save Davos's hide? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 460

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Summer is a good boy, if a bit food motivated.  Meera continues to be low key awesome. Bran, like most 9-year olds, can't make a choice without a few tears. And, do we want to be safe, or do we want to fly? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Bran I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 459

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Come sail away! Dany gets to be happy. Jorah gets to be gross. "Arstan" gets to be cool and we all get some background on Aerys, Rhaegar, and how to train your dragons. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones. A Storm of Swords - Daenerys I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 458

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As Jon, medieval secret agent makes his way into the Wildling encampment, we talk about Ghost blankets, improbable anatomical injuries, the fact that we’re mercifully forgetting the show, and question why Mance really left the Night’s Watch. Also, is guest right still in place when your guests just won’t leave? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Jon I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 457

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Olenna has her "Sure, Jan" moment. Did Mace wait for his mom to be playing bridge before working with Littlefinger to arrange the marriage for Margaery? Butterbumps has some serious game and may have edged Cheese Boy out of his place in Guile's heart. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Sansa I. Originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 456

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Davos questions his life choices and tries to survive on crab sashimi. Does Devan have a magical version of A Storm of Swords? Or is being a fan of ASOIAF about to pay off big for him? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Davos I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 455

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We hate Tyrion a little less than before. Is this a temporary respite? Tyrek Lannister: dead or alive? We get out the Reynolds Wrap as we speculate on his status. The Tyrells got game. Tywin Lannister: father of the year. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Tyrion I. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 454

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this episode, Arya, Hot Pie, and Gendry journey north, and we get Chicky’s horse girl input, debate which side of a tree moss grows on, and wonder if George was ever a boy scout. Join us as we realize that with ASoS, George is at the happy point in a craft project. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Arya I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 453

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. After Catelyn Stark pulls out a Hail Mary setting Jaime free, nobody knows what to do with her, certainly not the middle management of Riverrun so they put her up in the poshest suite in the castle (worthy of a five-star review on TripAdvisor were it not for her dying father). Was Lysa’s pregnancy terminated before or after her marriage to Jon Arryn? And just how probable is it that Hoster stayed celibate for two decades? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Catelyn I. Originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 452

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Brienne is a superhero, Jaime is super snarky and Cleos is pretty much just there. Brienne gives just as good as she gets and we can't wait to see the animated version of her literally sinking a ship. It's the start of a beautiful relationship and we're so here for it. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Re-Reread ASoS Jaime I. Originally recorded in 2019.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 451

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Chett is the worst kind of incel, but he's not dumb? Did anyone just think to ask the Wildlings if they're okay? The Night's Watch clearly needs a few women and an Almanac. Chicky lets us know that we don't need to be eating any bear meat. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Prologue.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 450

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We look back at Clash with some affection, and some relief. How does this book compare to AGoT? Who has the best introduction? And even though he's only in one chapter, let's talk about how Jaime brings the whole damn thing to life. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Retrospective.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 449

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. After two books of making fun of Luwin, we come around to really admiring the guy. See you on the weirwood net, buddy. While the ending of this chapter - and this book - never fails to make us cry, we wouldn't have minded more tales from the crypts. More wolves, fewer dragons, George! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran VII.

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon's cold and trying to figure out what's going on (and so are we). George has big thoughts on duty. Jon and Qhorin Halfhand have major eagle problems. According to Clotho, caves aren’t horse friendly. Rattleshirt might be noisy, but he’s not a dictator. Ghost doesn't want brothers to fight. It all ends with some surprisingly anti-climatic bone taking. And finally, will the women in GRRM’s life do something about his male gaze? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 447

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion’s issues start with Mom and go straight to Shae. Maggots and modern medicine. Is Tyrion at the Best Western or the Four Seasons? The world is Pod’s mattress. What’s up with the Dead Ladies Club? (go listen to episode 198). And on a special note, we once again had international representation with LoT and our guest (stealth Canadian FTW)! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XV. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 446

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We find new and creative ways to say “Ugh, Theon, no!” as he finds more kids to potentially murder. Wex shames everyone into being brave, but no one thinks trying to hold Winterfell is a good idea. Theon, we know you were a hostage but listen to Maester Luwin, or your sister, or ANYONE, ffs... Anyway, Theon, you suck (but admittedly Ramsay sucks more). Bonus: Devan gives his thoughts on the new Dragon Show—can he talk Guile into podcasting about House of the Dragon? Finally, we all wonder how Matt Smith didn’t know what he was getting himself into. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 445

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tywin takes Lannister taste to the next level of gaudy, but his horse still takes a dump in front of the Iron Throne. Cersei is running rehearsals behind the scenes, and directs Sansa to look abandoned. The Lannisters commission jewelry to one-up the Tyrells, but we wonder about the mix of lions and roses. The throne cuts Joffrey and sends him crying off-stage. Sansa finally gets to be a happy, but only for half a page. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa VII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 444

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If nothing else, Roose’s dinner order is en pointe. Should Qyburn research Biter’s cheese smell? LoT launches a conspiracy theory about the number of wolf pelts, and also decides Roose needs mittens. It’s definitely Aenys.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 443

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We debate the flavor profile of shrimp and persimmon soup, but that’s really the least of GRRM’s problematic choices in this chapter. George loves a secret identity, and luckily beards make you unrecognizable—they won’t make fandom love you, though. Dany might be overpowered, but we do wish she had a home.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 442

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansan shippers beware as we close out Sansa’s Battle of the Blackwater chapters with the phantom kiss encounter. We’d like to remind everyone that she’s twelve years old. Renly is popular, but Santa’s popular too. Sadly, Dontos is the only one Sansa can celebrate with.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 441

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Tyrion a better fighter than he gives himself credit for? Is Blackwater a Hieronymous Bosch painting come to life or are those antler men falling from the sky? Was Joanna Lannister a Tiger Mom or a gentle lamb? Also, Comma's not our real mom! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XIV. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 440

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As the battle rages around them, Cersei is your close-talking drunk aunt. If your drunk aunt was also a sociopath. Sansa is just trying to make it through the night and we temporarily forget that Ilyn Payne can't talk. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 439

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As the Battle of the Blackwater rages, we learn that Joffrey is many things, but at least he recycles. The Hound breaks, Tyrion rises to the occasion, and we don't mean to brag, but we have the best listeners. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XIII. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 438

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If only Davos had the confidence of a mediocre white man. If you like long lists of ship names, this chapter is for you. It's also for you if you like incredibly detailed battle scenes, war crimes, and the Hound kicking ass. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Davos III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 437

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is it a sword or an 80s hair band? Joffrey shows the typical Lannister taste and restraint, while Sansa has grown beyond her family and into quite an empathic, clever, and wonderful girl. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 436

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon plummets through many more levels of delusion proving that there is no bottom. Join us as we scream, "Theon, what the hell are you doing?" at his every decision. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 435

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This is how rumors get started! Cat, Brienne, and Jaime come together in the Riverrun dungeon, but was Brienne plugging her ears the whole time? Cat continues her aesthetic appreciation of the Kingslayer, and after months of self-reflection, Jaime comes to the conclusion that he's basically pretty awesome. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VII. Originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 434

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. While revenge is a dish best served cold, Cersei serves her threats with a side of greens. We realize that Jaime is the Michael Bluth of Westeros, and that if you want to find your inner Tywin, you can't go halfway. Also, was GRRM missing the "G" (for genetics) volume of the grocery store encyclopedias? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XII. Originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 433

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Qhorin, however it’s pronounced, and his rangers are what the Night’s Watch is meant to be. The panel is divided on the desirability of being a warg, but loving Dalbridge. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 432

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Why is SanSan a thing? Cersei is the oversharing coworker who wants to tell you all her pregnancy horror stories when you’re pregnant with your first kid. George once again displays his ignorance of female biology.  A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 431

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon and Ygritte meet cute. Ygritte tells a story full of foreshadowing and those snobby Tullys can keep their dinner invitations to themselves! But the Martells? Call us! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 430

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon is trying his best, but he's no match for Osha and Meera. Luwin is having the time of his life and Little Walder is more than a little racist. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 429

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion prepares King's Landing for the coming battle...by holding office hours. Jacelyn Bywater continues to tell it like it is. Hallyne is super pumped about productivity increases in wildfire production, and Tyrion won't hear what Shae is trying to tell him. Also - we would all be terrible maids. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion XI. Originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 428.

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If the Undying are just going to eat Dany, why bother with all of the visions and prophecies? Not that we don't appreciate all of the fodder for speculation. Also worthy of appreciation? Drogon, who is basically a really, really good dog. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Daenerys IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 427

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The bear, and a slew of Northerners, arrive in Harrenhal. Jaqen fulfills his final duty and Roose doesn't know how to talk to children. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 426

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Theon is such a dick. The Walders are kind of delightful. Osha is no kneeler. And don't you Ironborn dare lay a finger on our sweet Hodor! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 425

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat is every older sibling ever, but she's still not getting the victories she wants. Is Barbrey Dustin the Camilla Parker-Bowles of Westeros? We don't know for sure, but we think Cleos Frey might be behind the Rogue POTUS Twitter account. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VI - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 424

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Be like Cortnay Penrose and stay in your castle if you have flu symptoms. We realize we misunderestimated Shae all along. Chicky has a Sasquatch story even if she won’t share it with us. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion X. Originally recorded in 2018.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 423

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Qhorin Halfhand's all death deathity death and Jon's way braver than any of us. GRRM can write a great, suspenseful, chapter. Too bad he can't write Winds. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 422

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Which crazy ASoIaF prophet would you follow? Does Mel need a vision comprehension test? Mel may be the one giving birth, but both Stannis and Davos share in the responsibility for what happens next. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Davos II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 421

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's Fleet Week in King's Landing, as the Lannisters parade through the city, with predictable results. Jacelyn Bywater is a straight-talking dude. The Kingsguard kind of sucks. And The Hound really, really loves his Stranger. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IX - originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 420

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Save that dead husband--you can always use him to pay for a day at the zoo. Our patience with prophecies and stupid fashion conventions is at an end. Is Xaro Xhoan Daxos the P.T. Barnum of Essos? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Daenerys III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 419

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Shout out to all of you non-Jaime and/or Brienne fans so desperate for new ASoIaF content that you're willing to give us a listen. We're here for you. And, against our better judgment, we're also here for zombie skeleton Ned. Meanwhile, back in the Riverlands, Cat has a bad day. Edmure is a good guy, and Brienne needs a hug. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn V - originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 418

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya is not here for the romance novel cover that is Addam Marbrand. Give a man three names, terms and conditions may apply. Will we ever see Harrenhal again? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 417

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Just how do you pronounce Aeron Damphair? How does a prince of the Ironborn get parental validation, power, and the medieval equivalent of trending on Twitter? But why oh why is Theon not considering what happens after he succeeds in his next plan of attack? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 416

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Renly's dead and the King's Landing crowd isn’t sure how, but are glad he's gone. We lament the plot that did not come to be—Cersei going to Highgarden to negotiate with Olenna for Margaery’s hand (we could have had it all!) Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VII. Encore of Episode 202 - originally recorded in 2018.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 415

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Creepy children everywhere. The Walders tell it like it is. Jojen tells it like he thinks it is. Alebelly thinks he knows how to stop certain death and too many people aren’t bathing. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 414

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The Watch is on a road to nowhere good and Jon isn’t paying much attention to the signals his dire wolf is giving him. Does size matter when it comes to magic horns? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 413

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat has an aha moment in the sept, but diplomacy is not going to win this one. More like the coochie monster. As usual, Brienne gets misjudged by everyone, because no one loves her like we do. And we wonder, can shadow babies kill White Walkers? Let’s all pause to consider. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn IV. Encore of Episode 153 - originally recorded in 2017.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 412

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Joffrey is why we have guillotines, but somehow it's all still Meghan Markle's fault. Sansa touts the company line and RIP Stafford Lannister - the family buffoon. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa III Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 411

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Toss those preconceived notions in the fire, because Stannis is the Baratheon brother being all heavy metal thunder in his bitchin' flame crown, while Renly is the one showing up in a squirrel belly cloak. Ew. At least it has some kind of peach holster. It's the year of the fire rooster, but we'd like to state for the record that we still don't have Winds. George, pls. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn III. Encore of Episode 152 - originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 410

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaqen H'ghar uses soap? Is he single? Evil may have its standards, but do we? Also, Tywin only has one kind of face. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 409

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel's the George Papadopoulos of Westeros, with the added bonus of a fluffy upper lip and certain doom. Tyrion is the worst, right? It's not just us? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VII. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IV. Encore of Episode 201 - originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 408

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Meera is the cool babysitter and the Reeds are obviously the Cajuns of Westeros. Speaking of which, who's up for The Walder Freys and the Acadian Driftwood live in concert! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 407

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome to Qarth, the home of one-titty dresses and fish pedis! Dany seems to have her act together, but Jorah can get off his high horse when it comes to Ned Stark. And the crew of the Cinnamon Wind is as delightful as ever. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Daenerys II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 406

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya may be down on herself, but we know that our girl is a survivor. Harrenhal is as spooky as ever and maybe Littlefinger's fate is tied to bats? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 405

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel's got some Peter Brady action going on.Tyrion's a terrible little brother. Is anyone interested in these delicious Wall Scout Cookies? How about some craft butter? Get all of this and more as we don't celebrate our 200th episode. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IV. Encore of Episode 200 - originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 404

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Asha gets an unforgettable introduction, but then disappears for a book, so we, uh, forget about her. Theon gets his comeuppance in the grossest way possible. And, the Iron Islands aren't that bad as long as you like chowder? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 403

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s Craster’s Keep, y’all! Arguably the worst house in the series with the worst dad in the series! Also, just how did Craster cook up his deal with the Others? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 402

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ladies and gentlemen...it's the moment you've been waiting for. Here comes the Beauty! Brienne of Tarth knows how to make an entrance. Renly knows how to host an army. Does anyone know where we can find some hot LARPing action? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn II. Encore of Episode 151 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 401

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Eat and be merry, for tomorrow we may die. That’s the mood in this chapter. Bran may be onto a surefire method for getting out of boring meetings. The Reed children come to the feast and Bran (and us) perks right up. And what’s up with the hero worship with Ser Arthur Dayne? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran III. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 400

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Pro tip from the pyromancers...don't run if you're calling wildfire. Walk very very carefully. A lady could do worse than Cleos Frey, but no one does a Jim Bakker fire and brimstone impersonation like LoT. And, speaking of hell, it must have frozen over because we're kind of defending Cersei. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion V. Encore of Episode 199 - originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 399

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's another super grim, super short chapter that involves acorn paste and a lot of death. Also what, if anything, is appealing about House of Dragons? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 398

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this special Patreon requested episode, we examine George R. R. Martin's original A Song of Ice and Fire outline from a letter he sent to his publisher in 1993. Crazy, alternate universe fanfic or what could have been? Join us as we try to figure out just what the hell GRRM was thinking, wonder how much of the first version of ASoIaF survived, and thank the old gods and the new that he (hopefully) scrapped the Jon/Arya/Tyrion love triangle. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Special Episode: GRRM's Original Outline.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 397

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Sansa's stuck at court surrounded by spies and bullis, with Dontos as her only hope. But is he her Florian or is someone else? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 396

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. There's no avocado toast at Pycelle's crappy brunch, but that doesn't stop Tyrion from a little poison theft. Stannis is a stickler at checking references—except when it comes to middle-aged clowns. Were the Blackfish and Jon Arryn secret lovers? Is every character but Brienne a problematic fave? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IV. Encore of Episode 196 - originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 395

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Poor Bran is stuck in multiple all-day meetings, written by an author who has never been around small children, while Lady Hornwood can't catch a break. George is in love with the Targs, but why? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 394

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Everyone knows about Jaime and Cersei thanks to Stannis and in a manner eerily reminiscent of a high school clique, Tyrion, Cersei, Littlefinger, and Varys decide how to spin the situation to advantage. GRRM is too busy writing fashion descriptions and that’s why we can’t have nice things. Is Cersei in search of a support group? Tyrion has a boner and we’re not allowed to forget it. Also, he’s not nearly as clever as we thought and way more messed up than we realized. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion III. Encore of Episode 195 - originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 393

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Alas poor Yoren, stuck between a rock and a hard place where the Watch is nobody's enemy but nobody's friend. Hot Pie! Arya literally coming through a ring of fire with her moral compass still intact. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 392

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In what is possibly the shortest ASoIaF chapter, the ranging party arrives at Whitetree home to the biggest sheep-eating Weirwood ever. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 391

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We're back with a Patreon special request for a third fanfiction episode. Our panel of current fic writers and readers weigh in on favorite tropes, characterizations, and give out a slew of recommendations for your reading pleasure. Warning, this episode has audio issues! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Fan Fiction III.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 390

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we question if Dany is suffering a psychotic break or doing a fine job setting up her own cult? Who wears fur in the desert? Did George ever pay attention in biology class? And lastly is Lynesse a trophy wife or smart cookie? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Daenerys I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 389

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Could a multi-cliff island castle like Pyke actually exist? Saltwater is corrosive and we’re worried about the amount of potatoes that might go to waste during grocery runs. The cliffs would come in handy if you need to yeet a lover like Theon, though. Like the cliffs, Theon’s "my real family would love me more" belief system crumbles when he gets home. Damphair’s got no “eff” sounds in his name and he’s not a party boy anymore. We think the stolen clothes might be part of why everyone and every thing sucks here. Theon would be dead within a week of managing a McDonald’s. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Theon I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 388

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Everyone asks “Who is Azor Ahai?” But no one asks “How is Azor Ahai?” Whoever it is, it’s not Stannis who needs way better PR. Sometimes your kids drive you to drink. And, finally, who is the most likable ASoIaF character, and why is it Davos? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Davos I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 387

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We hit yet another “this coulda been an email” asoiaf chapter. Turns out wolves are scary, even if you had a pet direwolf. And Yoren is very good at his job, but we all mess up sometimes. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya III. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 386

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion's new cook sounds like a contender on the Westeros version of Top Chef. Janos Slynt can't keep his mouth shut, but still doesn't know when he should start spilling secrets. Varys and Tyrion start their bromance, Bronn reveals his true colors, and we long for an appearance by Ser Myxallyt in The Winds of Winter. George pls. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion II. Encore of Episode 194 - originally recorded in 2017.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 385

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cleos Frey is too honorable for his own good. Cat is darn lucky she didn't take a road trip to Pyke with Theon. Someone needs to tell both Lord Karstark and Edmure to put on their big boy breeches. We discuss the true meaning of comets, the really bad timing of King Harren and treaties that no one is ever gonna sign (sorry Stark girls). Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn I. Encore of Episode 150 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 384

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. As the Night’s Watch prepares for the great ranging, Sam is in research heaven. Join us as we speculate as to if Mormont is pulling a James T. Kirk, wonder why we’re getting a rando Targ history lesson, and wonder if Qyburn could have created the perfect Baratheon king. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Jon I.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 383

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this episode, we ask the important questions like how desperate is the Night’s Watch that they will take Biter as a recruit, what did Yoren know and when did he know it, and why was Jaqen H’gar on his way to the Wall? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 382

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Bran’s dealing with new houseguests, a feral little brother, and a babysitter who is 100% wrong all the time. Maybe the direwolves are the better option so who can blame him for singing the song of their people. Also, we’re never getting Winds and we know it. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Bran I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 381

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Get out your fresh rat kebobs and join Tyrion, Bronn and the boys as they ride in to King's Landing. Tyrbert might be our latest ship, although given Cersei & Tyrion's chemistry, is anyone up for a JCT OT3? Is Varys playing the long game with Barristan Selmy, or is he just trying to annoy us with riddles? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Tyrion I. Encore of Episode 193 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 380

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is the comet a sign of existential dread or something more meaningful like Dany’s dragons? Sandor deflects Joffrey’s “eye of Sauron.” The royal family needs better PR which arrives in the person of “funcle” Tyrion.  A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Sansa I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 379

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Arya has pandemic hair when we meet “ball-kicking-to-death” Hot Pie. Join us as we torture ourselves by wondering if this chapter is a remnant of a love triangle best forgotten?  A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Arya I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 378

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.We and Maester Cressen learn that Dragonstone is not a castle to grow old in especially when the crew does a scene from Mean Girls while Patchface being creepy as hell.  A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Prologue Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 377

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We close the book on A Game of Thrones. What did we like more this reread? What (other than Dany) made us cringe? And what are we looking forward to as we start A Clash of Kings? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones -Wrap Up and Retrospective.  Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 376

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The night comes alive with the music of dragons, but we get all riled up by where GRRM puts the cinnamon. If we look back, we are lost, but join us anyway as we reminisce about family funerals, our early love for Dany, and the 80s miniseries V. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys X. Encore of Episode 248 - originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 375

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat learns you can go home again, but when you do it'll probably suck - much like young Petyr Baelish. The Northern lords and the Riverlands hold a war council in which Stevron Frey might actually make the most sense (we know!). Robb is declared the King in the North and we're sure it's all good times and glory from here on out. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn XI. Encore of Episode 148 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 374

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon flees Castle Black, riding with his heart rather than his head. Don't we all wish he had direwolves to save us from our bad decisions? And speaking of Ghost, how would he and Jon fare against seven brothers of the Night's Watch? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 373

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this chapter, things have gone South for the Lannister Army. Tywin knows what a vicious thug he has in the Mountain even if he’s all, “he’s just one of my employees. What do you want?” We learn that men in full plate armor do not float (take that, show!) and that game recognizes game. Also we consult the dictionary. No, really. We do. And lastly, no woman wants to be woken up with a boob squeeze. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion IX. Encore of Episode 191 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 372

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Mirri Maz Duur kills baby Hitler and we are totally cheering her on. Did Dany really give birth to a lizard bat worm baby, or is Mirri just messing with her? Dany probably should have shopped around before she paid Mirri's price, amiright? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 371

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansa is just an 11-year old girl, everyone! Joffrey, on the other hand, is a 13-year old POS. Speaking of POS, what about that Kingsguard (sans Sandor)? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 370

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Luwin is the Scully to Bran's Mulder. We cringe at the beginning of Bran's Hodor abuse. Is Rickon a future Varamyr? And seriously, shouldn't everyone be more concerned about these kids? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Bran VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 369

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Let's all go to the Street of Flour! We admire Arya's survival instincts, as well as Joffrey's skill at producing a spectacle for the blood thirsty masses. Even though we've all read this chapter multiple times, we're still waiting for that version when someone rescues Ned. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Arya V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 368

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Drogo deserved his fate, but Mirri Maz Duur deserves an epic poem in her honor. Not that we really want to think about it, but how many Dothraki does it take to drag a dead horse? And how DO you pronounce maegi? We sure don't know. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 367

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. How well do you know your Frey cousins? As well as the Blackfish obviously knows Jaime? Speaking of the Kingslayer, after his performance in the Whispering Wood should we start calling him the Terminator instead? Dragon high fives for everyone! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn X. Encore of Episode 147 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 366

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We think GRRM should pretend that sex is a suckling pig, while we're all going to pretend that a ruffled Bronn is really just a delightfully cheeky bird. Comma goes to the mat for Kevan Lannister, while we discover that his brother Tywin shares Jaime's questionable taste in armor. Chella has an ear abacus, and do the Lannister soldiers have a circle jerk - minus the jerk? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion VIII. Encore of Episode 190 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 365

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome to the worst Dany chapter ever. Drogo's wound is a bit more than a scratch. Dany is problematic, and Mirri Maz Duur is a true badass. But, at the end, all we can do is put this chapter in the fire. Also, dog cameos! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys VII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 364

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sam is the anonymous source at The Wall. All hail Lord Comormont. And Maester Aemon too, even though George never gives us a damn payoff. Speaking of payoffs, Devan's got some great fantasy recommendations...and some are even finished! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon VIII.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 363

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. They may be literal river trolls, but we love the Freys now? We do, because Walder is your favorite someone-else's-relative. Are the Duggars modern Freys, or is it the other way around? And, the only place Lysa Arryn wants Robin fostered is on her boob. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn IX. Encore of Episode 144 - originally recorded in 2016. Chapter summaries from towerofthehand.com were included in this episode.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 362

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Did Robert fail Ned, or nail Ned? Was Rhaegar acting on prophecy, or acting on his dick? Did you know that gaoler sounds like "jailer"? We get down and dirty with poor, dead Ned in our first listeners' choice episode. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XV. Encore of Episode 217 - originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 361

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Should the kingsguard be a life gig? Barristan delivers one hell of a resignation letter. Sansa just wants the system to work. Cersei is on brand as always. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa V Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 360

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion brings the mountain clans home to meet his father. They may be gruff and into self-mutilation, but they have democracy and women's equality. Tywin is hot even though he's sporting Mungo Jerry's facial-do. Mia’s asoiaf children's story concept could work- baby dragons and kittens blepping galore. Donkeyleg serenades us with his Big Papa T song. Happy Halloween! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion VII. Encore of Episode 189 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 359

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Are the Manderlys really just wielding fancy pitchforks? Is tuna really the chicken of the sea? We meet the Supreme Creepster himself: Roose Bolton while Cat & Robb make all sorts of plans that we're sure are going to work just fine. Nothing to worry about here, kids. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VIII. Encore of Episode 143 - originally recorded in 2016. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 358

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany has a comparatively good thing going. Why would she want to mess that up? Dany's at the food court of the mall and in the middle of the pandemic, we are envious of her. Jorah opts to take the cannoli er the sausage. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 357

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  In this exposition heavy chapter, there are a hella lot of people at Winterfell. Robb is the new regional manager and everyone wants to either take his job or be his new BFF. Bran's in a bjorn. Everyone who goes south never comes back. Osha is the smartest person in the godswood. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon Bran VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 355

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  CSI: Castle Black meets Evil Dead II. This chapter is a horror movie and the only ones with common sense are the animals and those couple of dudes at the back. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 355

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Die, Petyr Baelish, die. An unnecessarily complicated plan is what happens when Petyr, Varys, and Pycelle are involved. We do our favorite activity and theorize what might have been. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 354

  Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Does Syrio have a side hustle or does Ned just pay really really well? Join us as we look into Syrio/Jaquen theories, opportunities for making a quick dragon by dragging small children to the queen, and the issues of rich kids of wasting foodstuffs. - Arya IV Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 353

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ned's big plans come to their inevitable conclusion. We hate that Littlefinger gets his moment of triumph and wonder what Cat might have done differently from her poor, doomed husband. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XIV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 352

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon has some entitlement issues, while Cotter Pyke would definitely fail one of those Top Chef blind taste tests. We love going Beyond the Wall, but why so close to dark, men of the Night's Watch? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones – Jon VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 351

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Robert Baratheon: died with his boots on. Littlefinger still can't believe Cat fell in love with this idiot. Many re-reads into this stuff, we still shake our heads at poor, dumb, dead Ned. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XIII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 350

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dany doesn’t want to eat horse heart, and we don’t want to hear about it. Did Drogo learn the Westerosi Common Tongue just to dunk on Viserys? Maybe Viserys doesn’t get power dynamics, but Dany does when she translates his doom. And we all get a little personal with an update on how we’re all surviving...everything. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 349

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. George’s fantasy genetics strike again. Things are bad when even fanboy Ned can admit Robert will do something monstrous. And is Cersei and Ned’s conversation a tribute to the film Dumb and Dumber, or are they just projecting their own morals onto each other? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 348

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Targaryen genetics remain a wtf. George’s blood orange foreshadowing creeps us out almost as much as Littlefinger does. We all get a little sad about Sansa and Jeyne’s last moment of fun. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa III. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 347

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this special episode, we talk "Spoiler Alert" by Olivia Dade, a new romance novel loosely set in the Jaime/Brienne fandom. Is this book Nikolaj Coster-Waldau rpf? Sort of. Is Guile disappointed the fictional fandom didn't have a podcast? Yes. Do we adore that this is much more than just a romantic comedy? Also yes. (Warning for sound issues in the second half of the episode.) A Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 346

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime X Brienne. They need another chair in that throne room. How would things have changed if Ned had sent someone else? And just what are Ser Ilyn’s job responsibilities? A Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard XI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 345

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This episode we’re full of realizations: Jerome Flynn pretty much owns the role of Bronn. GRRM is wrong (tune in to find out why), but we totally are the mountain clans, packing up a goat in our inventory for the road. Tyrion appears to be a morning person, but probably not much of a goat milker. Mord should not go to Casterly to get what Tyrion owes him. And in keeping up with the goat theme of this ep, GRRM probably has a greasy goat beard. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion V. Encore of Episode 188 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 344              

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ser Alliser Thorne is lucky everyone didn’t just peace out on him before taking their oaths. The Night’s Watch is having a personnel crisis and it shows. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones – Jon V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 343

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Let’s get ready to RUMBLE! It’s Ser Vardis vs. Bronn in a duel to the death. Cat is filled with regret, while Lysa is filling her face with blackberry kebabs. There’s nary a Moon Door in sight, but that won’t stop us from mulling Targaryen runs or Petyr’s peter. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VII. Encore of Episode 142 - originally recorded in 2016. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 342

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Do sibling dynamics damn you for life? Renly Baratheon popinjay or a good king in another time? Also, why syphilis and other STDs are a game-changer for the panel. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. The Brothers Baratheon - Baratheon family dynamics. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 341

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Ned's old dream a bit of revisionist history? Because it can't be said enough: Rhaegar was a dbag. And while Robert and Cersei probably deserve each other, Cersei doesn't deserve that particular badge of honor. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard X. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 340

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion's got a big mouth and an even bigger negative review in store for The Eyrie on Westeros's version of Trip Advisor. Lysa is as unhinged as the Moon Door. We want fanart of Bronn carrying Tyrion, and we want it now.   Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion V. Encore of Episode 187 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 339

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The Starks may share a spiritual connection to their direwolves, but they still don't come when they're called. Robb is just doing the best he can. Theon is theoning. Osha is one smart cookie. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Bran V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 338

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dothraki bloodriders have limited future prospects and some really terrible perks. Viserys isn't into the Ed Hardy look, but we are? Jorah gets in some good digs, but should probably look in the mirror. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 337

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Littlefinger is just a disgusting human being. This is where Ned breaks up with Robert (and we break up with Robert.) Jaime goes full Lannister. We all cry about Jory and wonder if Ned is the ultimate poster child for ‘lawful good.’ Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard IX. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 336    

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion works his charm so hard even Cat is falling for it. The Blackfish names himself. Comma names Pervy Peter. No one knows how to name a teenaged chicken. Cat gets a little snobby about bastards. The climb is a little rocky, but when all else fails, titty. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VI. Encore of Episode 141 - originally recorded in 2016. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 335

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Come on, Robert, is assassinating Dany business, or is it personal? Littlefinger has costed out hiring the faceless men before. Nedbert hits a rough patch, but we get consolation recipes from Finland! Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard VIII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 334

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us for possibly(?) our first two person episode ever. Arya’s chasing cats and starting to like the idea of not being recognized. We tour the Red Keep’s horror movie basement, enjoy some signature GRRM exposition, and wonder when (f)Aegon actually entered the building. Say what you want about Ned, but he’s the kind of dad who will kiss his kids even when they’ve got sewage all over their faces. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Arya III.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 333

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion plans a sharp lesson for Mohor, Lharys, & Kurleket (we see what you did there GRRM, nyuk nyuk nyuk). Cat learns that she was Petyr's Canadian girlfriend. We hold no ill will toward harp players in general, but we're dying to find out if Marillion's new shadowcat cloak is a tuxedo cat pattern or more of a cow cat thing.  Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion IV. Encore of Episode 186 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 332

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. GRRM blows the giant air horns of foreshadowing, but Ned misses his moment to give Robert some badly needed information. Speaking of air horns, we hope you enjoyed Cleganebowl 1.0. Also, shut up about Jaime, Varys. You actually don't know everything! Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard VI.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 331

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sansa's living it up in the Westerosi equivalent of the VIP tent at Coachella. Loras is the headliner, while Littlefinger slides into his role as chief creep. Septa Mordane had one job, while Sandor has plenty - including designated driver. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa II   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 330

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. By what right does the trout judge the lion? We meet Masha Masha Masha, Marillion, stealth Bronn, and some of those damn Freys for the very first time. The Riverlands is thirsty for gossip. Cat's thirsty for revenge. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn V. Encore of Episode 140 - originally recorded in 2016.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 329

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Guile gets crazy with the spreadsheets, while Olenna can't stop talking trash about her own kids. Are 90s soaps a better representation of motherhood than just about any other form of entertainment? Is Hyle the Uncle Joey of Brienne's found family? We discuss these burning questions and more in this special episode about Motherhood in ASoIaF. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Special Episode - Motherhood in Westeros. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 328

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Potboys have all of the tea. Tobho Mott: shopping by appointment only. Gendry is a big deal - seriously, step off Edric Storm fandom.   Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 327

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon is a leader of men, if you like that kind of thing. Sam is a coward, Ser Alliser Thorne has limited comedic talent, while Pyp is the artist we all need in these trying times. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 326

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ned enjoys a debatable quality of iced beverage with Grand Maester Pycelle as he sleuths the mysteries of Jon Arryn's death. But Ned is pretty bad at this, right? Also, can Westeros be any more sexist? Is someone going to make us an animated gif of Jaime and Robert's seeds fighting? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 325

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. *This episode has a few sound issues, sorry!* Nan has all of the best stories, and Robb has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Bran, like the rest us, just wants everything back the way it used to be. Also, we want those ice spiders as big as hounds. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Bran IV.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 324

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Believe it or not, we discuss historic glacial movements. And, Cowabunga! we go back to the 90's and boy oh boy is it problematic. Why is Dany 13? And even after all of these years, Harry Lloyd is GoT's best casting decision. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys III. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 323

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ned is a good dad, and Arya is a precious cinnamon roll. Justice for Mycah! And don't you dare make us talk about Nymeria. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Arya I. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 322

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Welcome to the all-you-can-eat crab leg dinner at The Wall! Alliser Thorne bravely challenges Tyrion to a duel, while Lord Commander Mormont tells us exactly what's going to happen...5 books from now. Also, we still have a more few things to say about Game of Thrones season 7. Hold your aurochs. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion III. Encore of Episode 185 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 321

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Robert's maxed out all of the Iron Throne's credit cards. Among his many terrible qualities, Littlefinger is a world-class cockblocker. Did Cat really need to pull an Irish goodbye? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 320

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  In this chapter, Jon has to confront his privilege and also deal with everything the recruitment posters left out. We all want badges in the Donal Noye fanclub. Also, why doesn’t Tyrion make the leap and understand the importance of the Wall? Is Ser Alliser capable of learning or is he just a jerk? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon III. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 319

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We come to the startling conclusion that ASoIaF is basically a very, very, very dark John Hughes movie with Littlefinger in the evil Ducky role. What does Varys know and when does know it? Who gets the props for the total media blackout of the Tower of Joy? Inquiring minds want to know what Petyr's youthful letter to Cat said. And we all want to know if GRRM is busy perusing recipe cards as he struggles to finish Winds. Join us in a moment of silence for Ser Rodrik's beard hair as we head to King's Landing for the very first time.Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn IV. Encore of Episode 139 - originally recorded in 2016.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 318

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. There's no crying in prophetic visions, Bran. While some may question the wisdom of listening to the voices in your dreams, we've got a pocket full of corn and a headful of Third-Eye Blind. Join us as we look deep into the heart of winter and conclude that Summer really got his name because "Here, Spring!" would sound dumb at the dog park. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Bran III. Encore of Episode 215 - originally recorded in 2018.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 317

Spoilers. Profanity. Jaime x Brienne. Dive in as we talk about the ins and outs of parenting. All kids do stupid things and we on the panel have the stories to prove it. We look at Ned’s options and while we don’t like the choice he made, at least he kept Cersei from going full Cruella de Vil. Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard III. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 316

Spoilers. Profanity. Jaime x Brienne. Septa Mordane had one job, and it wasn't to get drunk. Was Sandor protecting Joffrey, or protecting everyone from Joffrey? Is Sansa & Arya's conflict based on birth order, or more about who does and doesn't like camping? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Sansa I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 315

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we ask ourselves why DO we read this series? We discuss why people hate Catelyn (she’s willing to go full Cersei on the direwolves) and why people love her (she is so badass), how GRRM packs this chapter full of irony for the re-reader, and just who Robb and Sansa should have been promised to. Also, would Stranger Things have distracted Littlefinger from his nefarious plans? And even though we all already know this, we get more confirmation that Jaime loves Brienne. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn III. Encore of Episode 138 - originally recorded in 2016.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 314

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. A mind needs a book as Winterfell needs a job fair. Were Benjen Stark & Howland Reed co-authoring Rhaegar & Lyanna fan fiction? The Boltons don't dick around with library late fees. Everyone is Jon's uncle, but were the Targaryens really the Trumps of Valyria? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Tyrion II. Encore of Episode 184 - originally recorded in 2017. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 313

Spoilers. Profanity. Jaime x Brienne. We raise our glasses to Ned Stark in this Nedbert-heavy chapter. Is it our imagination, or in hindsight is Robert basically right on? We try to picture Bobby B with one of the ladies who lunch and how much more fun would that wheelhouse be if it was a VW hippie bus? Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Eddard II.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 312

Spoilers. Profanity. Jaime x Brienne. Is this the best wedding in the books, or more like the ASoIaF version of the Fyre Festival? Drogo is a Groomzilla, but at least there's an open bar. Dany's mouse dress is an example of why gift-givers should never stray from the registry, but this entire chapter is an example of why some things are best left in the 90s.  Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Daenerys II.  Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 311

Spoilers. Profanity. Jaime x Brienne.  It's hard to say goodbye, except for Cat, who continues to let Jon know exactly how she feels about him. Arya needs to roll her clothes, and George needs to stay away from the incest. Does every hero have an Uncle Ben?  Game of Thrones. A Song Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Jon II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 310

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We may be book snobs, but that doesn't mean GRRM is getting off scot free. We can only care about so many characters - sorry Martells & Greyjoys and Davos!?! GRRM tries to have it both ways with his fantasy world and the real world. Westeros sucks - we get it! We lament the bloat and continual expansion of this brutal world. GRRM keeps opening doors, maybe it's time for him to close the door and come here - with his manuscript. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. We Hate The Books Too Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 171

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Season 7 is just around the corner, so it's time to sharpen our anti-drone spears! In our final season 7 update, we tackle the trailer, get hyped for the small possibility that Cleganebowl is back on the table, wonder why anyone would send a Greyjoy to deal with a banker (do they even know what deposit slips are?) and plan our celebratory drink menu if Jaime and Brienne bang (or kiss, or make hearteyes, or give each other meaningful looks - we're desperate, people!). Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Update #5 Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 170

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Guile created a killer A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones Trivia game. Think you know all your Westeros house words? Think you know whose mom is from what house? Listen as Clotho, Eon, Chicky, and Comma prove that they have barely been paying attention during the last several years of podcasting about this junk. Be sure to play along with our matching online quiz, check our social media for the link! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. ASoIaF & GoT - Trivia Episode. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 169

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. When they go low, we go lower...so let's talk about the Freys! Was the Red Wedding a $5,000 dragon affair, or a $50,000 dragon gala? Either way, the sweet playlists of Roose Bolton & Lame Lothar's Wedding Planners will make your night. But now for a serious question, who was Lady Stoneheart's neck flap holder? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords - Epilogue Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 168

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lord Walder Frey and The Chinless Collective cordially invite you to the Red Wedding (the red is for love!). The music is crap (you try playing the lute while sitting on a crossbow) and the food is worse, but at least the reception isn't boring. Sob! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 167

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We’re not sure how Walder Frey keeps finding wives, but we’re glad he never met Selwyn Tarth. Cat’s got bread, salt, and hip size on the brain. Roose may be an immortal Mike Pence, but at least he’s proud of Ramsay. We wonder if Jaime was Brienne’s chaperone. And everybody needs to listen to their dogs. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 166

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s still raining. The party of the damned is on their last road trip and everything hurts. Catelyn wants Robb to name Ser Random from the Vale as his heir, but he’s not having any of it. We’re positive there’s a will, but does it really matter? How did we miss what was gonna go down the first time we read this? There is good news, though! Tina (cutiepillar-blog on tumblr) is going to Con of Thrones and is looking for other JB shippers! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn V. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 165

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hoster’s dead, y’all. Tully funerals are kind of like ours except no one is bringing the equivalent of a three-bean salad. Edmure looses his shaft, but can’t finish. And Lame Lothar Frey and Walder Rivers are really expert at good cop/bad cop. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn IV. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 164

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Catelyn’s joy at being reunited with Robb fades when she realizes her baby isn’t a virgin anymore. Everyone hates Edmure—the inevitable result of being the youngest sibling? Is Sybell Spicer the shadow Cat of the Westerlings? Also, Stark magical sperm. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 162

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. After Catelyn Stark pulls out a Hail Mary setting Jaime free, nobody knows what to do with her, certainly not the middle management of Riverrun so they put her up in the poshest suite in the castle (worthy of a five-star review on TripAdvisor were it not for her dying father). Was Lysa’s pregnancy terminated before or after her marriage to Jon Arryn? And just how probable is it that Hoster stayed celibate for two decades? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Storm of Swords – Catelyn I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 161

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore’s adventures continue. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 11. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 160

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore’s adventures continue. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 10. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 159

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Larry Lannister rears his ugly head. Does LB have the same appeal as JB? While we're skeptical about what season 7 might hold for Jaime and Brienne, we've come (we know what we said) to look forward to Wallgasm 2017. Is Stone D the new Fat Pink Mast? Find out this and more on our latest Season 7 update. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Update #4. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 158

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s the Battle of the Cats! Book!Catelyn is a Cat that will scratch you, but Michelle Fairley has so much chemistry with everyone she has a scene with, that we love Show!Catelyn anyhow. What we don’t love so much is Todd Lannister and how Cat’s whitewashed into forgiving Jon. Benioff hasn’t just pissed off the ASOIAF fandom—the Homer fandom is just as hardcore. Close the Door and Come Here – Episode 157

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. This is how rumors get started! Cat, Brienne, and Jaime come together in the Riverrun dungeon, but was Brienne plugging her ears the whole time? Cat continues her aesthetic appreciation of the Kingslayer, and after months of self-reflection, Jaime comes to the conclusion that he's basically pretty awesome. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 156

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat is every older sibling ever, but she's still not getting the victories she wants. Is Barbrey Dustin the Camilla Parker-Bowles of Westeros? We don't know for sure, but we think Cleos Frey might be behind the Rogue POTUS Twitter account. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 155

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Shout out to all of you non-Jaime and/or Brienne fans so desperate for new ASoIaF content that you're willing to give us a listen. We're here for you. And, against our better judgment, we're also here for zombie skeleton Ned. Meanwhile, back in the Riverlands, Cat has a bad day. Edmure is a good guy, and Brienne needs a hug. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn V.   Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 154

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat has an aha moment in the sept, but diplomacy is not going to win this one. More like the coochie monster. As usual, Brienne gets misjudged by everyone, because no one loves her like we do. And we wonder, can shadow babies kill White Walkers? Let’s all pause to consider. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn IV. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 153

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Toss those preconceived notions in the fire, because Stannis is the Baratheon brother being all heavy metal thunder in his bitchin' flame crown, while Renly is the one showing up in a squirrel belly cloak. Ew. At least it has some kind of peach holster. It's the year of the fire rooster, but we'd like to state for the record that we still don't have Winds. George, pls. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn III. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 152

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ladies and gentlemen...it's the moment you've been waiting for. Here comes the Beauty! Brienne of Tarth knows how to make an entrance. Renly knows how to host an army. Does anyone know where we can find some hot LARPing action? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn II. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 151

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cleos Frey is too honorable for his own good. Cat is darn lucky she didn't take a road trip to Pyke with Theon. Someone needs to tell both Lord Karstark and Edmure to put on their big boy breeches. We discuss the true meaning of comets, the really bad timing of King Harren and treaties that no one is ever gonna sign (sorry Stark girls). Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 150

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Two blonde knights walk into a room...and we speculate endlessly on what happens next. What would you name your anti-dragon gun? Will Larry get fooled again? Do the Faceless Men account for big bootys when choosing their victims? We tackle these questions and more in our latest season update. Yes listeners, there will be lumpia. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Update #3 Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 149

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Cat learns you can go home again, but when you do it'll probably suck - much like young Petyr Baelish. The Northern lords and the Riverlands hold a war council in which Stevron Frey might actually make the most sense (we know!). Robb is declared the King in the North and we're sure it's all good times and glory from here on out. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn XI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 148

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. How well do you know your Frey cousins? As well as the Blackfish obviously knows Jaime? Speaking of the Kingslayer, after his performance in the Whispering Wood should we start calling him the Terminator instead? Dragon high fives for everyone! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn X Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 147

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore’s adventures continue. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 9. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 146

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore messes around in the lab and there are dire consequences. Sand gets EVERYWHERE. Lady Splice is not having any clowning around.  You know what they say... 'you just can't go home again'.  Some jerk makes a creepy return. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 8.  Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 145

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Are the Manderlys really just wielding fancy pitchforks? Is tuna really the chicken of the sea? We meet the Supreme Creepster himself: Roose Bolton while Cat & Robb make all sorts of plans that we're sure are going to work just fine. Nothing to worry about here, kids. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VIII Close The Door And Come Here - Episode143

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Let’s get ready to RUMBLE! It’s Ser Vardis vs. Bronn in a duel to the death. Cat is filled with regret, while Lysa is filling her face with blackberry kebabs. There’s nary a Moon Door in sight, but that won’t stop us from mulling Targaryen runs or Petyr’s peter. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VII Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 142

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion works his charm so hard even Cat is falling for it. The Blackfish names himself. Comma names Pervy Peter. No one knows how to name a teenaged chicken. Cat gets a little snobby about bastards. The climb is a little rocky, but when all else fails, titty. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 141

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. By what right does the trout judge the lion? We meet Masha Masha Masha, Marillion, stealth Bronn, and some of those damn Freys for the very first time. The Riverlands is thirsty for gossip. Cat's thirsty for revenge. And we're happy to drink it all in. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn V Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 140

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We come to the startling conclusion that ASoIaF is basically a very, very, very dark John Hughes movie with Littlefinger in the evil Ducky role. What does Varys know and when does know it? Who gets the props for the total media blackout of the Tower of Joy? Inquiring minds want to know what Petyr's youthful letter to Cat said. And we all want to know if GRRM is busy perusing recipe cards as he struggles to finish Winds. Join us in a moment of silence for Ser Rodrik's beard hair as we head to King's Landing for the very first time. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and FIre. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn IV Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 139

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we ask ourselves why DO we read this series? We discuss why people hate Catelyn (she’s willing to go full Cersei on the direwolves) and why people love her (she is so badass), how GRRM packs this chapter full of irony for the re-reader, and just who Robb and Sansa should have been promised to. Also, would Stranger Things have distracted Littlefinger from his nefarious plans? And even though we all already know this, we get more confirmation that Jaime loves Brienne. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn III. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 138

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tune in as Cat and Ned make the hottest room in Winterfell even hotter. He may let it all hang out, but Ned’s not a planner, you guys. Lysa likes the Littlefinger, but does he speak her secret language? And it turns out Jon’s a huge downer even when he’s not in the room. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn II. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 137

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In Winterfell's godswood, Cat sees the Old Gods everywhere, while her husband sees a chance to get his Nedbert on. Join us as we go back to the start. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn I. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 136

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Spoilers and foilers galore! We try to separate the treasure from the trash. Do Jon & Dany get frequent flyer miles on Dragon Air? Is Cersei pulling a telenovela-inspired fast one on the unwitting Larry? Will Davos make a rowing-related dad joke? Is the orgasm wall really going to be a thing? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Update #2. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 135

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Clowns are coming! What do the latest seasons of Game of Thrones reveal (or not reveal) about Winds of Winter? Are bald man just secret Targaryens? Anyone want to donate to our Kickstarter campaign to send Kathy Bates to George's door so we can actually read this book someday? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Winds of Winter Speculation - Part II Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 134

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dunk the Lunk and Brienne the Beauty have more in common than just some DNA. Join us as we compare and contrast the similarities and differences between our favorite true knights, their squires, and their love interests. Is Bloodraven a closet JB shipper? Is Dunk a future deadbeat dad? Is a comet going to wipe out everyone in the end (really!)? Ser Duncan the Tall. Brienne of Tarth. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Dunk & Brienne. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 133

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dunk & Egg blunder their way into spoiling a rebellion. Maynard Plumm (if that's his REAL name) explains it all. Dunk has no choice but to be a hero, and Bloodraven thinks it's about time someone gave Egg a clout to the head. Is bathing in blood just Westerosi botox? We don't know the answer to that, but we do know that we're sad to say goodbye to these lovely stories. Ser Duncan the Tall. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Mystery Knight - Part 3. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 132

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. John the Fiddler dreams of Dunk. And Dunk's junk. Dunk needs to get in the concussion protocol, Ser Glendon needs to get a more realistic last name, and Egg needs to get over here so we can give him a group hug. There are plots a plenty for one and all as the world's worst conspirators settle in at Whitewalls. Ser Duncan the Tall. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Mystery Knight - Part 2. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 131

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time for Crossing Swords: The Prequel. Dunk-On Funkler 5eva! Thanks, Bloodraven. Aegon IV was a true Powerball and Young Walder Frey is as big of a dick as Old Walder Frey. Join us for songs (really!), dance (not really), and apt comparisons of Dunk & Egg to major cleaning products brands. Ser Duncan the Tall. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Mystery Knight - Part 1. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 130

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. No news is...uh, no news, so join us as we go live and wildly speculate about the fate of our favorite and not-so-favorite characters. Will Jon Snow die again? Will Arya reunite with Gendry and Hot Pie (HOT PIE!)? Will Jaime kill Cersei in a romantical murder suicide (ugh)? Are we the whisper on the wind that D&D are hearing in the writer's room (yes - and also Hooooot Piiiiiiie)?. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 7 Update #1 Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 129

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. While Ser Eustace puts the finishing touches on his Blackfyre fan fiction (Dunk x Alysanne 5eva!), Ser Duncan the Tall has some sexy dreams (is that you Bloodraven?) and comes up with a plan to save the day. Rohanne Webber likes following through on threats, cheek-related injuries, and big blondes. Sound like anyone we know? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Sworn Sword - Part 3. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 128

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Dunk & Egg climb down from Chicken Tower into the lair of Lady Rohanne Webber, who promptly offers Dunk some pink meat in exchange for his sword. Dunk's in over his head when it comes to talking to pretty girls. And, speaking of heads, we have a great idea for a new product tie-in (you can thank us by writing that JB table scene, GRRM). Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Sworn Sword - Part 2. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 127

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Summer is coming and water rights are a very serious thing. Dunk & Egg deal with droughts while we deal with more important matters - like why can't Bloodraven afford an eyepatch? Ser Bennis ruins everything when he just can't stay in his lazy lane. Are we sure the villagers aren't just saying "What?" Backdoor/Moondoor, whatever it is, all we know is that we want some Dunkcake art. And we want it now. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Sworn Sword - Part 1. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 126

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we ponder the question we know you’re all thinking: how are Dunk and Brienne like the X-Men? Eon gets vengeance on Roy Dotrice for his unique pronunciations of our favorite characters’ names. Who will fight alongside us in our own personal Trial by Seven? Chicky argues for the importance of good hair in a fellow champion. And finally, vote Baelor - make Westeros great again! The Hedge Knight - Part 2 Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 125

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Aegon is a good egg. Monarchy is a shitty form of government, but it’s even shittier when a bunch of incestuous freaks marry. Is that a reference to Brienne or have we reached a new level of obsession? And just how bangable is Dunk the Hunk? How many Targs is too many? Chicky and Comma eat crow (we should have listened to LoT and Eon). Dunk & Egg - The Hedge Knight - Part 1. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 124

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's time to turn off the TV and open up the books as we discuss our favorite ASoIaF chapters. The only thing Guile loves more than Jaime and Brienne are spreadsheets. Who knew the Red Wedding was really the opening scene of a sophisticated adult romcom? Brienne is a goddamn hero, Jaime is a poet and we're all going to drown in the Hoppinhal beer pit. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Top Ten Chapters. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 123

Lady Eon Rune is getting warg happy.  Who doesn't love a creepy clown? Lady Splice that's who! The She Bear is desperate for a maester. Fighting a sorceress in a flammable alchemy lab? Sounds like a good idea to me! New squires might want to seek employment elsewhere. Ser Chicky is like a kitten in a room full of dangling strings. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 7. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 121

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We are on the hunt for Lady Rune's cat Finn. Ser Chicky picks up a new squire (on probation). Our fearsome troop of ladies receive a lukewarm welcome from the inhabitants of Castle Black Horn. Who's our liege lord anyway? We meet Jonah "the brave". LoT awkwardly flirts with a Dornishman. Lady Splice drinks and intrigues (she does one better than the other). Game of Thrones A Song of Ice and Fire. ASOIAF Roleplaying. Role Playing Game. House Doore - RPG Episode 6. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 121

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We take the podcast live and raise the banners for Lord Edmure. There’s a Close The Door drinking game and no one told us? Get out! Is Selwyn Tarth a secret dragon rider, or are we going to have to add that to our list of failed predictions? Join us as we celebrate not only another season down the tubes,but the majesty of Dany’s jousting and cavorting eyebrows. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones - Season 6 Recap. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 120

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Life lessons from Westeros: You don’t trust Littlefinger and you don't just have a zombie Mountain around for shits & giggles. In other news, has Carol finally left the building? Does Olenna travel with her own personal Cheese Boy? Did Daario get Jorahed? Were D&D inspired by Not Another Teen Movie? We’ll answer these questions and more in the season finale. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones - 6x10 “The Winds of Winter”. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 119

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Let’s get ready to rumble! Dany’s dragons are as majestic as a Charlton Heston classic, while Tormund & Davos debate which is better: a good drink or a good bowel movement? Rickon runs a straight line, while the birth of Firekraker is anything but straight. Do zombies have a sell-by date? Is anyone really surprised by the outcome of SnowBowl? Wanna hear some Point Break spoilers (really)? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x09 “Battle of the Bastards” Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 118

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Reunited and it feels so good! Bronn is one of us, but is he also Jaime’s DUFF? Brienne says Jaime’s just a friend, but the hearteyes and chin quivers tell us that he’s got what she needs. The Hound pisses on Lady Stoneheart (literally), while Jaime delivers an epic Carol5eva speech. Gather ‘round for more sad moon masturbation everyone! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x08 “No One” Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 117

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Comma rails on poor kindergarten theater productions, while the rest of us fight over who gets to adopt Lyanna Mormont. Asha's on Kraken Spring Break and Jaime's hips aren't lying, Daddy really did wear the Lannister armor better. Sandor is so focused on his wood that he probably didn't hear our screaming about that episode 8 preview. And the podcast breaks. Will Brienne knock the Larry out of Jaime? Will we ever get the sex table that was promised? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x07 "The Broken Man"  Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 116

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Uncle Benjen can whip up a mean rabbit blood smoothie, but does he need to visit the Children’s day spa? BranRaven sees Larry kill the Mad King. Sam the Eagle and Randyll Tarly: same person or separated at birth? Why does the High Sparrow look like he’s never had a bath? Is Jaime be Lord of Casterly Rock for realz now and will we get Lady Stoneheart after all? Tune in for answers to these questions on this episode of Close the Door and Come Here. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x06 “Blood of My Blood”. **Sound quality warning! We get an unexplained echo towards the end of this episode** Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 115

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hold the door and come here, because we need a hug more than Bloodraven needs parental controls on weirwood.net. We ponder the tough questions like, is there a Red Woman finishing school? Do the Faceless Men do pro-bono work? And, is it incest if you're only cousins? What is this show doing to us? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x05 "The Door" Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 114

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Starks reunite and it feels so good. Tormund wants to invite a certain big, ugly wench for some Castle Black and chill. Jorah and Daario are feeling a little hangry, and it's too bad the High Sparrow never learned that a little hair of the dog will cure anything. Dany is heavy metal Jesus, Pycelle is a shuffling genius, and Larry and Carol are the same old/same old. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x04 "Book of the Stranger". Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 113

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Jon Davos' rebound relationship? Bran is a surly teenage greenseer and Dany is joining the Dothraki Golden Girls (or is it the Facts of Life?). "I've got dragons" is our new catch-all excuse and remember kids, you can't take candy from strangers, but you can sure take it from that nice Maester Qyburn. Larry's got hype, but we're all dreading the Rickoning. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x03 "Oathbreaker". Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 112

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Does L+H=J? If you're having a bad day (or bad death), just talk to Davos, but if you want to talk murder dogs , you've come to the wrong place. Were you singing Jon Snow, Superstar, or humming the Terminator theme. Whatever the resurrection, we've got no objection. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x02 "Home". Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 111

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Maybe Melisandre is born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline. Ramsay needs a pack of papillons and do maesters have a vaginal link on their chains? Larry and Carol continue to destroy our souls, but we dare to hope that Dorne just got Poochied. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones 6x01 “The Red Woman” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 110

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. With season six just around the corner, our panel wants Game of Thrones to go full Clash of the Titans. We pitch Essos reality TV shows, discuss Mustachegate 2016 and hope for a Brienne/Jon Snow meeting, if only for a new reason for Edd to fetch a block. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 6 Preview. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 109

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In this mostly Books vs. Show episode our panelists argue their way through an hour of what works and what doesn't.   Listen to this one - somehow, somewhere your opinion will be voiced.  And remember kids, send all your hate mail to @guileandsubterfuge on Tumblr.  Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 108

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  How many naked women does it take to chase away three hot Dothraki? Game Narrator Wontkins threatens to "turn this cart round" a few times. LoT purchases the Cadillac of horses, and *disclaimer* No actual horses were harmed in the making of this podcast. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. RPG adventure. Close the Door and come Here - Episode 107

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We hook up with GoT Thrones? podcast to discuss our picks and pans through five tumultuous seasons of Game of Thrones. We relive the glory days of Lisa-with-a-Ta, Doran Doran, Jason Momoa, sexy old man love (we'll never forget you, Charles Dance), and Godo's fabulous videos. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones - Best and Worst of Seasons 1-5. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 106

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Guile outgrosses GRRM, and the smallfolk of King's Landing out gross us all with their Westerosi tailgate antics. Saggy boobs and cat pinatas for everyone! We learn that Candyland is not a vicious game and that if Varys could train kittens to murder we'd all be in trouble. Adorable trouble. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - Cersei II and Kevan Lannister Epilogue. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 105

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We think Margarine and Salsa sound like a good combo. Cersei remembers “Her”. And we imagine a totally different kind of bathtub scene. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - Cersei I. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 104

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tommen fishes for cats while Cersei gives awkward hugs. Taena is RSVPing "No" to the playdate from hell, while we would all gladly attend the Kettleblack Bowl. Margaery is going to get scurvy (actually rickets), but Cersei is finally going to get what's coming to her. Septas beware! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei X. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 103

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Could Brienne handle apple pie moonshine? Should Jaime pawn his golden hand to build the frock-frack shack? Robert + Ned = Gendry? Clutch your earphones as we have a Pro-JB-Baby vs Anti-JB-Baby rumble, a serious Brienne x Tyrion debate, ponder whether Qyburn is the Dr. Nick of Westeros, and fix each other up with ASOIAF characters. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Drunkcast 5.0b. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 102

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The Devil Wears Donyse, but Cersei's sanity is wearing thin. Our favorite crazy Queen is not a "disciplined thinker", but she would have gotten away with if it wasn't for those meddling kids. Or those dim Kettleblacks. We're all in for Taena '16 and looking forward to that hot Cersburn bath scene in The Winds of Winter. George, pls. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei IX. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 101

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hide the kids (but not the bottles) as we go extra explicit and figure out what exactly 3rd base is in Westeros. Who's wifey material? Who's raven sexting who? Who's Daven Lannister?  And WHO is Italian typing (spoiler alert: it's Clotho) Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 100

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Never wake a sleeping Maggy. It's valonqar this and younger, more beautiful, that, as we go all in on that &%#^ prophecy. Cersei finds her Brienne. Feel the Cersburn! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei VIII. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 99

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. All aboard the Lannister Targ Secret Shame Train. First stop: Dysfunction Junction. We dig deep and ponder the big questions like: Who's the golden child? Who's the peacemaker? Who's not your real mom? And, is Lancel any good in bed (nope)? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Lannister Family Special. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 98

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Behold the dogs of war! We contemplate a 19-year old Jaime, while Cersei contemplates the Arbor wine supply and not-so-fondly recalls nameday sex with Robert. Myrish Swamp? Sounds like you need a shower. And what the heck is Qyburn doing down in the dungeon? Human centipede anyone? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei VII. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 97

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. No one wants to get their dress dirty. Marg’s posse all have the cool names. So do the ships, and by ships we mean the kind that go in water. Megga x Mark Mullendore and monkeys for everyone? And Sweet Cersei sings: Whatever it is I think I see becomes an Incest relationship to me. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei VI. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 96

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It's another rough day at the office for Cersei: bill collectors to the right and laundry accidents to the left. Chicky needs to keep her bitch in line. The North Remembers, but sadly, Cersei has forgotten all she never learned at her father's knee. Join us for for bathtub memories, Kettleblacks galore, the first Ser Pounce sighting, and the proposed prohibition of beets. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei V. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 95

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We’re all gonna need some wine to get through this committee meeting. Qyburn is the under-appreciated Westerosi Martha Stewart. Lots of heads floating around. Cersei sings "If They Could See Me Now". And LoT gives Ash a Jumbotron proposal she can’t refuse. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei IV. Close the Door and come Here - Episode 94

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. House Doore is destitute. Let the bargain shopping begin! Lady Eon Rune is getting married, and its a nice day for a red wedding. Come inside me bro. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. RPG adventure. Close the Door and come Here - Episode 93

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Will the Dothraki get hotter? Will they bring back Jon Snow so he can die again? Does Wun Wun attack Hogwarts? Will Balon finally die? Will they stop burning children? And most importantly, will Jaime go out in a blaze of Brienne? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 6 Update - Part IV. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 92

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Will Cersei ever learn that paranoia will destroy ya? Speaking of destruction, let us mourn Tyrion’s porn stash. Tommen is the Bubble Boy. Spiced wine is the answer for everything and who knew that Robert was the glue holding Jaime and Cersei’s love together? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei III. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 91

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. No bowl cuts for this crowd. Our knees are sore, and our eyes weepy. Finn the Shadowcat -  Eon Rune Chooses you! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. RPG adventure. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 90

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tommen throws pennies “to” the people. Are farts as useless as nipples on a breastplate? Gregor’s a milk of the puppy junkie. This is Cersei Unchained. We’ll miss you most of all, wine. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei II. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 89

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. You may love a Targaryen. Lot’s surprised we’re defending Cersei. Guile calls out the Cersei x Qyburn meet cute. We're all bonding over platonic Shea questioning. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Feast for Crows - Cersei I. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 88

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Spousecast 2.0 - The "newly" wed game edition!Elevator rides, mosquito bites, and public bathroom stalls!  The married ladies of podcast compete with hubbies in tow for a game of who can embarrass each other the most.  Hosted by the brilliant and cruel duo YD and Guile. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 87

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If you love JB, join us as we explore the ways our favorite couple fulfills some of our favorite tropes. Chicky’s belligerent sexual tension crack. Toepick! Old movies, hip hop couples, all the teen movies. There’s something for everybody this episode - even hardcore horse fans. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Winds of Winter - Speculation. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 86

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Get ready for the Great Flood! It’s all Winds of Winter as we talk Lady Stoneheart, Quiet Isle, JB licking their wounds (we know what we said) and more. Warning: Harry Potter spoilers (we’re not kidding) Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Winds of Winter - Speculation. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 85

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Who’s Gonna Live! Who’s Gonna Die! Who’s Gonna Bang! Listen in as we ruin more Disney movies. You don’t need a penis to bring the Wall down. Howlin’ Reed strikes again and so will we if JB don’t have a fucking fuck scene. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 6 Update - Part III. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 84

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Carol Lannister makes her triumphant return. Balon gets a delivery from the Flayer Express. Sam reluctantly his the stair master as the rest of Westeros is rocked in the aftermath of the Red Wedding. Davos is everything (you’ve been warned). Mel makes a quick 180. Dany is white Jeebus and we all want pizza as season three ends with a whimper. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “Mhysa” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 83

Spoilers, profanity Jaime x Brienne. Things are looking up for the Starks! Grey Worm predictably loses the dick measuring contest, but Jorah loses his heart when he choo-choo-chooses Dany. Speaking of Dany, did the Khaleesi get her Unsullieds from the Bargain Basement Bin? The Freys sure know how to cut up the dance floor and these fucking bastards sure know how to destroy our souls.  Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “The Rains of Castamere” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 82

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The Second Sons play a rousing game of one girl, 3 coins, while Dany falls for Old Daario's smooth moves. Stannis and Davos contemplate a naked Gendry and Mel, while we contemplate which usurper is the penis leech. Shae is relieved to find Tyrion and Sansa's bed-sheets pristine, but did she check the rug? Meanwhile, Sam becomes the Slayer and heroically saves Gilly and beautiful baby Randyll Craster. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “Second Sons” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 81

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. In part two of our fan fiction spectacular, the gloves come off as our panelists get to the bottom of their glasses and debate the nature of criticism, the perils of canon (BOOM!), race, gender and which writers deserve to get blasted off the planet (in a good way!). A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones. FanFiction.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 80

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join our panel of Jaime x Brienne fic writers for part 1 of our fan fiction spectacular. Find out who's a bitter fandom queen, who's a stealth editor, and who just doesn't give a fuck. We reveal the secret shame of our early stories and bad teenage poetry and answer the age old questions of Jaime: hand or no hand and Cersei: sister or cousin. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. FanFiction. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 79

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Everyone ships Jaime & Brienne, especially Bart the Bear. Speaking of wildlife, the donkey was only the watcher. The stars align as we hit peak Locke, peak Marg, and peak Tormund. While Tywin works from home, Joffrey is all about the elevator. Selwyn Tarth gets named dropped again while GRRM reminds us that none of this is in the books. WE KNOW GEORGE, WE KNOW! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 78

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Be our guest as we discuss season six and Beauty & The Beast: The Besmirched Edition. Take a bite out of Hot Pie's blue frosted wench cookie and settle in as the talk turns to parallel dimensions, missing Salsas, and getting hype. If you're not pumped for the Hodor origin story - get out! And, if we don't get a JB reunion, Guile's going to turn those scripts into ashes. Finally, take a shot every time Chicky says "We don't even fucking know." It's gonna be a bumpy, spoilery ride. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones Season 6 Update Part II. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 77

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Some people like to climbf#!k. Some people like to research antlers. Jon & Ygritte climb The Wall as we explain the concept of ice to Eon. Littlefinger expounds on chaosh theory while Loras discusses French sleeves. Join us for some hot hand holding action, torture porn and Tywin & Olenna neither giving nor taking any fucks.  Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “The Climb” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 76

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Robb’s got cleavage. Jon has cave sex. Beric waves his flaming sword (not a euphemism). Jaime can’t hide his boner face and Olenna can’t get enough of those figs. Roose is on the loose as we debate who has the better ass and sigh over sweet Shireen and young Gendrya love. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones. "Kissed by Fire" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 75

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Harrenhal hijinx. Do NOT trust us with your heir. We bring war to our doorstep. Chicken wings and breasts go flying all over the place. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. RPG adventure. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 74

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Our narrator Wontkins guides us through the first part of our adventure. Chicky’s horse is overloaded. YD has deep dark secrets. We find a nuncle. Who brought the Frey? Who doesn’t want to talk to the Blackfish? Lady Splice is a lush. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Role Playing Game. RPG adventure. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 73

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If we look back, we are lost. Varys is a Ken doll. Joffrey is in macabre heaven. Tywin & Cersei play the Game of Mispronunciation. Jorah comes to the realization that Dany may be out of his league. Jaime hits rock bottom as he hits the bottle of Locke’s vintage horse piss.  Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “And Now His Watch Is Ended” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 72

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We talk Season 6 casting and filming spoilers. Dude, I’m totally back from the dead. We revisit our favorite textiles in Westeros. Brienne is going down. Check out The Besmirchers. Bolt-On, Cleganebowl, Ghost warging, and Howlin’ Reed? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Game of Thrones Season 6 Update Part I. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 71

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Creepy fish everywhere. World’s most obnoxious game of silent musical chairs. Tommen, can you hear me? Sam is a peeping tom. Dany goes shopping at Crazy Krazzy’s Unsullied Bargain Barn. The whores aren’t the only ones groaning over Pod’s performance. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 70

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Our original ep recording is a fail so we wing it. Guile likes man-killing pets. YD will take one for the team with Hot Uncle Benjen. LoT suggests cheese houses and panties. And show!Marg gives most of us boners. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 69

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Marg strokes Joffrey's bow. We find a literal throne of cocks. There’s an anime filter on the lens as Jaime swordfucks Brienne. LoT is ready (or not) to ♥ Locke. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "Dark Wings, Dark Words" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 68

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Sam had ONE job. Tyrion has daddy issues. Davos and Mel have hot tension. Dany's Dothraki have Top Ramen. The Unsullied have hype (if nothing else). And Jaime has the key to Brienne's door after beating Super Mario Bros. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "Valar Dohaeris" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 67

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire.  #gotnegativity #booze Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 66 Drunkcast - Season 5 Detox

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The show goes Looney Tunes.  ♪Stannis has a bad day♪ Myrcella dies dramatically in her beloved funcle's arms. Arya's whacked out on drugs. Cersei's new bewbs float. And Guile has the colour-coded spreadsheets to prove it. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "Mother's Mercy" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 65

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Close the door and nail it shut!! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "The Dance of Dragons" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 64

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Olly’s resting evil face. Cockles after a hard night’s work. 4 White Walkers of the Apocalypse. How about them skeletons? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "Hardhome" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 63

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we talk about Ramsay’s Lego-people hair and the disapproving beard of Davos Seaworth. Should you have sex while concussed? Khaleesi McCoy is a queen not a Starfleet doctor. “The Gift” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 62

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The Rape of Sansa Stark. “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 61

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s gonna be stabbity stab stab if Jon doesn’t go full Jaime. Someone should talk to Pod and Brienne about disguises. Stannis x Jon x Melisandre x Davos 5eva! “Kill the Boy” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 60

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaime has a Tarthgasm (and so do we). Mel shows Jon a new way to take one's pulse. Rhaegar is Westerosi Bono. Mace is ace. Sansa is buying what LF is selling... or is she? Barry come back: we were wrong and we just can't live without you. “Sons of the Harpy” [Please note: all podcast-related hate mail should be directed to @guileandsubterfuge] Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 59

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Littlefinger as stupid as we think he is? Cosplaying prostitutes. Theon’s looking robust. Renly’s gay and Brienne knows it. Cersei: a character study in stupid. Stannis gives the nod of approval to all of Jon’s murder. “High Sparrow” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 58

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We love the show now? (No one is more surprised than we are?) Metaphorical dick measuring in Meereen. Stannis gets hate mail. Damn you, potato boy! Dany’s Unsullied Popemobile debuts. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “The House of Black and White” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 57

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Maggy the Frog, more like Maggy the Fox. Tyrion is the Don Draper of Pentos. Mel and Jon ride the creepy elevator of lurrrve, while Brienne carefully polishes Jaime’s sword. We get some of Daario’s backstory and even more of his backside. Everything at the Wall is awesome… until it all goes up in flames. “The Wars to Come” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 56

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Will Balon Greyjoy ever fall off anything? Will Arya throw Needle and hit a (still) rowing Gendry? Dany’s Star Trek dresses get mixed reviews. Jaime’s chest does not get mixed reviews. Stannis Baratheon: what’s under that fur? All we know is, somebody better golden bitchslap someone. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Season 5 Preview. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 55

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Selections from Close the Door and Come Here Episodes 1-35. Horse metaphor origins. Bronn's effing place. Notebook throwing. Spouse Cast. The birth of Nedbert. And everything in between! Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 54

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tywin’s got a new kind of horse metaphor, and Dany gives us a vault metaphor. Just give us a blue rose, ffs! Marg’s boobs are on fire. Robb got Ned’s stupidity, Cat’s recklessness. Nikolaj hints about Jaime and Brienne’s son Mallard. “Valar Morghulis” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 53

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Bronn’s Robin Hood Prince of Thieves moment. Cersei x Stannis’s horse = crackship! Lancel is weaksauce? Take this job and shove it—peace out, Sandor ain’t working here no more. Daddy’s home. “Blackwater” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 52

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Tyrion thinks Shae is beeyoootifulll. Jaime’s drunk on sunlight…and Brienne. Was Aegon cut as early as Season 2? Where’s Grandpappy Tywin now? Talisa christens Robb King in da Norf, if you know what we mean. “The Prince of Winterfell” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 51

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Come sit on Grandpappy Tywin's lap. Poor Salsa gets her period. Jon's bone gets a workout. Jaime meets a giant lady and he likes it. Plus Season 5 trailer talk!  “A Man Without Honor” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 50

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Everybody's losing pieces of themselves. Wildlings know where to put it (bow chicka bow wow). Qhorin Picard. WHERE MY DRAGONS AT?? “The Old Gods and the New” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 49

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Smokey Baratheon wastes Uncle Peaches. Daria, Dorito, Doreah, you say tomato… It must be snowing in Dorne as we defend Emilia, Dany, and even Qarth? And Chicky gets kicked out of fandom in her sports bra.   “The Ghost of Harrenhal” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 48

Game of Thrones 2x04 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Talisa is no Jeyne. Joffrey reads Renaissance Women Weekly. Renly's a peach. Smokey Vajayjay. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "Garden of Bones"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 47

Game of Thrones 2x03 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. BRIENNE BRIENNE BRIENNE BRIENNE BRIENNE! Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "What Is Dead May Never Die"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 46

Game of Thrones 2x02 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. If a girl pees in the forest, does LoT think it's the sound of a stream? Goofy Uteri, World's most uncomfortable Risk Table, Clay dildos? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "The Night Lands"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 45

Game of Thrones 2x01 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Stannis' BBQ on the beach. Medieval pig enthusiasts unite! Ser Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer. Robb brings the sass.. and the hot. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “The North Remembers” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 44

Game of Thrones 1x10 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. King in DA NORF! Sam’s sweet lady scream. LC Mormont could get it. Drogo gets a happy ending. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “Fire and Blood” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 43

Game of Thrones 1x09 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. It’s “nameday”, bro. Mirri Mazda’s Blair Witch Tent of Horrors (zoom zoom). LC Mormont gives Jon the sword (not like that!). Ned gets Iced. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “Baelor” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 42

Game of Thrones 1x08 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Robb’s hot. Drogo’s hotter. Mago/Mogo/Mowgli dies Mortal Kombat style. (FATALITY!) Lannister names are weird. Addam Marbrand, wherefore art thou? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “The Pointy End” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 41

Game of Thrones 1x07 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. TYWIN, TYWIN, TYWIN! The gaze of a billion males. Be careful what (full frontal) you wish for… Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “You Win or You Die” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 40

The World of Ice and Fire discussion…kind of… Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Could there be any more Targs in here? Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 39

Game of Thrones 1x06 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Hair, makeup, wardrobe Battle Royale. Bea Arthur. The logistics of Moon Doors. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. “A Golden Crown” Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 38

Game of Thrones 1x05 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. The end of Nedbert. Nipplegate. Cock? Jory cops an eyeful.  Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "The Wolf and the Lion."  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 37

Game of Thrones 1x04 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon

Game of Thrones 1x03 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon & Tyrion brOTP. Everybody loves Jaime. Stark stupidity. Not a Queen, A Khaleesi.  Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "Lord Snow" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 35

Game of Thrones 1x02 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Triple bitchslap. Catelyn Stark PI. Direwolf danger. Nedbert!  Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "The Kingsroad" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 34

Jaime x Brienne. DRUNKCAST NOV 1, 2014. Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 33

Game of Thrones 1x01 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Bad wigs. Mild Dany enjoyment. Listen to your mother. Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire. "Winter Is Coming" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 32

SpouseCast. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We give our Significant Others the mics (and live to regret it). Game of Thrones. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 31

A Dance with Dragons, Jaime I. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jaime ogles teats, makes some peace, and scrambles to his feet. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 30

A Feast for Crows, Jaime VII. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Resolving Riverrun. Joanna’s ghost. Burning letters. A Song of Ice and Fire.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 29

A Feast for Crows, Brienne VIII. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Fever dreams. Kingslayer's whore. Sword or noose‏. A Song of Ice and Fire.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 28‏‏

A Feast for Crows, Brienne VII. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Some hangings, a proposal, and excessive cannibalism. A Song of Ice and Fire.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 27

A Feast for Crows, Jaime V & Jaime VI. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Daven, Aunt Genna, the Blackfish, and a trebuchet. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 26

A Feast for Crows, Brienne VI & Jaime IV. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Lancel’s penance. Quiet Isle. Brienne’s confession. A Song of Ice and Fire.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 25

A Feast for Crows, Brienne V & Jaime III. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Broken Men. Baelor Butthole. Golden Bitchslap.  A Song of Ice and Fire.   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 24

A Feast for Crows, Jaime II & Brienne IV. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Wine Throwing. Magic Swords. Nimble Dick.  A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 23

A Feast for Crows, Brienne II and III. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. More roadtrip. More bath. Hyle Hunt. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 22

A Feast for Crows, Brienne I and Jaime I. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Roadtrip. Vigil. Unbidden. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 21

Jaime x Brienne. DRUNKCAST 2014. Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire.    Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 20

A Storm of Swords, Jaime IX. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. He gives her his sword. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 19

A Storm of Swords, Jaime VII & Jaime VIII. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Wedding deaths. Sept sex. Kingsguard overload. A Song of Ice and Fire.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 18 

A Storm of Swords, Jaime VI. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  A real woman, a dream, a bear pit. A Song of Ice and Fire. Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 17

A Storm of Swords, Jaime V. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  A Song of Ice and Fire.  Bathhouse.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 16

A Storm of Swords, Jaime IV. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  A Song of Ice and Fire.  Jaime Lannister is no longer drunk on sunlight.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 15

A Storm of Swords, Jaime III. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  A Song of Ice and Fire.  Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth swordf***ing.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 14‏

A Storm of Swords, Jaime I & Jaime II. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  A Song of Ice and Fire.  Jaime Lannister is drunk on sunlight.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 13

ASoIaF overview discussion of Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth in A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.

Game of Thrones 4x10 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "The Children"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 11

Game of Thrones 4x09 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "The Watchers on the Wall"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 10

Game of Thrones 4x08 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "The Mountain and the Viper" Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 9

The usual suspects answer listener submitted Jaime and Brienne related questions. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 8

Game of Thrones 4x07 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "Mockingbird"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 7

Game of Thrones 4x06 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "The Laws of Gods and Men"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 6

Game of Thrones 4x05 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "First of His Name"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 5

Game of Thrones 4x04 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "Oathkeeper"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 4

Game of Thrones 4x03 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "Breaker of Chains"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 3  

Game of Thrones 4x02 discussion. Spoiler, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "The Lion and the Rose"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 2 

Game of Thrones 4x01 discussion. Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne.  "Two Swords"   Close the Door and Come Here - Episode 1