Parenting is hard, but it's even harder when you feel alone and have only the sounds of Cocomelon to keep you company. Betches Media’s Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. Childproof attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood. From yelling at your kids (we’ve all done it) to finding a sleep schedule that doesn’t ruin your life, Gwenna and Tori share the challenges they’ve faced and the lessons they’ve learned, and are eager to share their experiences through a mix of one-on-one conversations, guest appearances, and input from listeners revealing their own parenting secrets. Clearly, we could use some help from everyone and their mother.
Story Time!
Gather 'round, children (and parents), it's story time! In this week's episode, Gwenna and Tori share their favorite parenting stories. From sleeve beans, tree floofs, and giant Elsa's they reflect on the lessons learned by both themselves and their kids. We want to hear from you! Head to Childproof@betches.com to share stories of your own.
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1/31/2024 • 42 minutes, 15 seconds
Yes. Play With Your Food: Seconds
Back for seconds already? Don’t worry, Gwenna and Tori have plenty of leftovers from last week. They dive into their perspectives on addressing the topic of body image with their children (as well as with themselves) and explore its connection to diet. Then, they offer valuable tips, tricks, and resources that you can employ to guide your children in navigating a world centered around body awareness.
Referenced Accounts:
@feedinglittles
@andydoeshealthy
@kids.nutritionist
@kids.eat.in.color
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1/24/2024 • 43 minutes, 41 seconds
Yes. Play With Your Food: First Course
This week, Gwenna and Tori have their plates full with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. In this episode, the duo chats all about their kids' preferred palate. From tacos de lengua to strictly dino nuggets, they share how they’ve adjusted to their kids' ever-evolving tastes and how they encourage them to try new foods. The short answer is bribery. Yes you may be excused, but make sure to come back next week for the second course of this conversation.
Preorder Momma Cusses : https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/momma-cusses/
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1/17/2024 • 42 minutes, 34 seconds
Unslam The Door
Knock knock. Who’s there? It’s Gwenna and Tori ready to kick off the New Year. In this episode, they delve into the topic of children’s privacy. Is it a right or a privilege? They cover when introduce the concept of privacy to their kids, how they maintain it, and how if differs from kid to kid.
Preorder Momma Cusses : https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/momma-cusses/
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1/10/2024 • 44 minutes, 29 seconds
Snowmageddon
No matter the weather, we’re in it together. This week, Gwenna and Tori are preparing their children (and themselves) for inclement weather conditions. They share stories and offer valuable tips and tricks to guide you in navigating through a snowy day or a potential power outage with your kids.
Emergency Radio: https://amzn.to/3uZIUKY
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1/3/2024 • 46 minutes, 55 seconds
New Year, Same Me
What is your New Year's resolution? Ours is to not make resolutions. In the final episode of 2023, Gwenna and Tori chat about their post-Christmas relaxation and New Year celebrations. Then, they delve into a reflection on the goals they set for 2023 and explore the intricacies of crafting new aspirations for the upcoming year, 2024.
2024 Vision Board - https://www.mommacusses.com/services-1
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12/27/2023 • 42 minutes
The Gift Of No Timer
Your wish is our command! In this week, Gwenna and Tori present you with an early Christmas gift—an episode without the timer. They kick off the conversation by delving into their sources of inspiration and passions, recounting the moments of discovery and their gradual evolutions. Then, they open up about the exciting journey of witnessing their own children uncover and explore their individual sparks.
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12/20/2023 • 56 minutes
Ho Ho Ho MFers Pt. 2
Caution: Christmas spoilers ahead—proceed with care! In this episode, Gwenna and Tori chat about the magic of Christmas, from Dancer, Prancer, Donner, and Blitzen, to the iconic red man himself. This leads them to the one question that occupies the minds of parents during the holiday season: Is Santa Claus a lie we tell our kids?
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12/13/2023 • 51 minutes, 3 seconds
Ho Ho Ho MFers Pt. 1
It’s giving season, and in this episode, Gwenna and Tori explore the essence of the 'Three Gs' of Christmas: Gratitude, Giving, and Gifts. The conversation encompasses helping your kids understand the significance of gratitude, as well as recounting a few of their own gifting mishaps.
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12/6/2023 • 46 minutes, 21 seconds
Ask And Ye Shall Receive: Email Roundup
Your questions have been received, and we are here with the responses you seek. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori delve into the contents of the Childproof inbox to address your questions. Whether it's defining the concept of "Gentle Parenting" or navigating the decision of when to let your kids experiment with makeup, the duo gives valuable advice and offers reassurance to accompany you on your parenting journey.
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11/29/2023 • 44 minutes, 50 seconds
It’s Not A Phase Mom
Well actually... you should listen to this episode. This week, Gwenna and Tori take a stroll down memory lane, reflecting on both their cherished and cursed phases that ultimately shaped their journey into parenthood. From the ear-worm enchantment of Baby Shark, to the 'The Redditor inquisitor', and the notorious 'Why?' phase, the duo explores the significance of these experiences and how they contribute to shaping one's identity.
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11/22/2023 • 48 minutes, 22 seconds
Momsgiving
If you cringe at the sight of Christmas commercials popping up immediately after Halloween, then this episode is for you. This week's, Tori and Gwenna guide you and your kids through the preparations for Thanksgiving. They discuss everything from creating sample plates and cherishing core memories to deciding which traditions are worth keeping and which ones you might want to bid farewell. As for them, the annual dog show no longer graces their television screens.
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11/15/2023 • 36 minutes, 12 seconds
Activating Mom Wait Mode
Get ready to start the timer because in this episode, Gwenna and Tori dive into the topic of the countless (or meticulously counted) hours parents spend on their kids. From patiently waiting for them after school to waiting on them to finish their story, the duo shares about all the instances when they found themselves in ‘Mom Wait Mode.’ But don’t worry, as Gwenna and Tori spill the rules on their favorite games to make the wait time fly by.
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11/8/2023 • 45 minutes, 23 seconds
Normalizing Normal Ft. Emily Feret
How frequently is your house 'Company Clean'? This week, Gwenna and Tori are joined by their IRL friend, Emily Feret, to discuss how they embrace the everyday chaos of life. They openly explore the decision to showcase their unfiltered reality, embracing the clutter in their content as a way to assure fellow parents that it's okay not to be perfect. The conversation then shifts to their perspective on self-care, highlighting the importance of acknowledging that sometimes, opting out of an activity can be a better form of self-care than indulging in a bubble bath.
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11/1/2023 • 46 minutes, 3 seconds
I’m A Bad Mom And So Can You
Bad moms never wonder if they're doing a good job, and good moms never stop worrying that they're doing a bad one. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori want to talk about their (and probably your) Bad Mom moments. From Rock 'n Plays, iPads, vitamins, and bribery, the duo swaps the many ways they failed at being perfect parents. But in the midst of the chaos, they're here to remind you that there's no such thing as a perfect parent; we're all doing the best with what we have.
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10/25/2023 • 51 minutes, 39 seconds
This Is Halloween
Looking for a scare? Fright this way. With Halloween a few weeks away, Gwenna and Tori are here to get you ready for all the candy, costumes, and scares… oh my. The duo shares their own stories from Halloweens past and present, delving into how they prepare for a spooky, but safe holiday.
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10/18/2023 • 43 minutes, 29 seconds
Expect Nothing When Expecting Ft. Jen Hamilton
So, just how big is 10 centimeters? In this episode, Gwenna and Tori join forces with labor and delivery nurse, Jen Hamilton, to assist you in shaping your ‘Birth Vibes,’ because pregnancy rarely adheres to any plan. The trio discusses their own pregnancy plan expectations vs. reality and delves into the challenging journey of coping with the grief that comes with those deviations. Wrapping up the conversation, they play a game of Pet, Kids, or Husband?. Who did Gwenna ask, "Is that a spider in your mouth? Spit it out!"
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10/11/2023 • 50 minutes, 53 seconds
Why Does Everyone Hate Kids?
When did you know you wanted kids? Some of us are still waiting for that moment, and that’s okay. After reading a recent article about how friendships are affected when a child is introduced, Gwenna and Tori wanted to open a conversation about how society's mindset towards children has changed. They also delve into the difference between choosing to be childless and simply disliking children.
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10/4/2023 • 47 minutes
Break The Cycle, Because I Said So
"Don’t talk back to me!" "I hope you have kids exactly like you!" Have you heard these phrases before? We certainly have. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori are ready to break some cycles, starting with the main offender: toxic parental phrases. They provide examples from their own upbringing and explain how they've consciously decided not to use them with their own kids.
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9/27/2023 • 47 minutes, 43 seconds
Puddle Of Pickles: Regulation
All right, we all just need to calm down. If you're a regular listener, you've probably heard Gwenna and Tori mention regulation a time or two. In today's episode, they define the difference between regulation and co-regulation. Then, they delve into the many ways they practice regulation with their kids, themselves... and others
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9/20/2023 • 43 minutes, 45 seconds
Proud Parents Ft. Idina Menzel & Cara Mentzel
In this episode, Gwenna and Tori bring on two very special guests. Sisters Idina Menzel and Cara Mentzel join us to talk about their new book, "Proud Mouse," a lyrical picture book about a proud sister learning to find her own way. The sisters share how their sibling relationship and childhood inspired the characters, along with intertwining personal parenting stories that, in our opinion, everyone can relate to.
Guests: Cara Mentzel, @authorcaramentzel & Idina Menzel, @idinamenzel
Pre-Order Proud Mouse: https://books.disney.com/book/proud-mouse/
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9/13/2023 • 41 minutes, 42 seconds
I Don't Make My Kids Do Homework Pt. 2
This Part Two episode is dedicated to everyone who hates the timer as much as we do. This week, Gwenna and Tori continue the ‘I don’t make my kids do homework’ conversation by sharing their own personal stories and how that shaped the way they handle take-home work today. Then, they dive into the dreaded test days or what we like to call ‘just days’ because no one actually cares how your kid did in middle school math...we just want them to learn something.
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9/6/2023 • 51 minutes, 4 seconds
I Don't Make My Kids Do Homework Pt. 1
The kids are back to school... now what? In this episode, Gwenna and Tori celebrate (and commiserate) together about all things related to going back to school. From signing your kids up on six separate platforms to having an empty house all to yourself. But what happens when your kids return from school with a mountain of homework? Do you make them do it? For Gwenna and Tori, the short answer is no.
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8/30/2023 • 49 minutes, 7 seconds
Tidiness Is Morally Neutral
How does one keep a tidy house? Asking for a friend. This week, Gwenna and Tori invite the founder of Space + Mind, Ashley La Fond, onto the show to talk about all things related to home organization. Keeping your home tidy is already a significant feat on its own, and when you become a parent, it seems almost impossible. As a mom, Ashley shares her best tips and tricks to organize your spaces, helping them work best for you and your family.
Guest: Ashley La Fond, @ashleylafond
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8/23/2023 • 43 minutes, 53 seconds
Sorry Not Sorry… But I Really Am
#SorryNotSorry! This week, Gwenna and Tori cover the nuances of apologizing for both kids and parents (and the parents of the parents). Gwenna starts off by laying out the structure to an apology which is: acknowledge what happened, apologize for what happened, and address how you will adjust your actions in the future. Throughout the episode they both give their own stories and advice on how they are teaching the importance of apologizing. Then, the duo plays a game of Sweet or Tangy brought to you by Ocean Spray where they reminisce on situations they have encountered as parents, and decide whether that moment was a sweet moment or was it a little tangy.
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8/16/2023 • 43 minutes, 35 seconds
There’s A Frog In My Backpack
Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again! It’s that time of year again and Gwenna and Tori are discussing some of their favorite ways to get ready for back to school. From buying new backpacks, practicing lunchtime, to setting up the drop off playlist, they share what works best for their kids (and what doesn’t). Then, they bring back a second round of Sweet or Tangy brought to you by Ocean Spray where they reminisce on situations they have encountered as parents, and decide whether that moment was a sweet moment or was it a little tangy.
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8/9/2023 • 51 minutes, 49 seconds
You Don’t Need Kids To Listen To This Podcast
We’re excited to hear from you! On this episode, Gwenna and Tori reach into the Childproof mail bag and answer your most popular questions. From their take on gentle parenting, setting boundaries, and overstimulation they offer their personal experiences and advice for parents (and non-parents alike). To close out, they play Sweet or Tangy brought to you by Ocean Spray where they reminisce on situations they have encountered as parents, and decide whether that moment was a sweet moment or was it a little tangy.
Recommended Reading:
How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent Paperback – Carla Naumburg
Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans - Michaeleen Doucleff
How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes - Melinda Wenner Moyer
Momma Cusses: A Field Guide to Responsive Parenting & Trying Not to Be the Reason Your Kid Needs Therapy - Gwenna Laithland
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8/2/2023 • 48 minutes, 20 seconds
Allergies Are Nothing To Sneeze At Ft. Dr. Zachary Rubin
Did you know there is no such thing as a "hypoallergenic" pet? This week, Gwenna and Tori bring on their first guest and Pediatric Allergist, Dr. Zachary Rubin. With allergy season still in full swing for Gwenna, wants to get the big question out of the way: "Should I give my kids Benadryl?" They chat about the different options that parents can consider when introducing their kids to allergens and the best ways to utilize their doctors. The trio ends with the age-old dilemma of "What can I do when my kid is allergic to everything?"
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7/26/2023 • 47 minutes, 10 seconds
The Toddler Grief Theory
Don't worry, the freezer section is overwhelming for us too. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori address tantrums, explaining why they can occur and sharing creative ways they have worked through them. To assist with this, Tori introduces their "Toddler Grief Theory" which raises the question... When was the last time you felt a completely new emotion? They also discuss the judgment of others when dealing with tantrums in public, and they both agree that they would prefer to be criticized for loving their children rather than yelling at them.
Don’t forget to go to podcastawards.com to register and vote for Childproof in the Kids & Family category. Nominations are open until July 31st.
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7/19/2023 • 51 minutes, 55 seconds
It’s Okay To Say “It’s Okay”
Hey kid, you're going to be okay. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori chat about using the phrase "You're okay" with their kids, because sometimes your kids actually are okay. They share their techniques for getting their kids to self-regulate and give real-life examples of how nuanced this phrase is. Because when we say "you're okay," it's really for us.
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7/12/2023 • 54 minutes, 24 seconds
It's Okay To Complain: Mom Rants
Disclaimer! Mom rants ahead (but don’t worry, we’re not judging you). We are all about ranting here at Childproof because ranting is regulation and in this episode, Gwenna and Tori bring you the best and worst of their mom rants. From incorrect grammar, to the “just you wait”s, and “I don’t know how you do it”s. Do you have a mom rant of your own? Let us know at childproof@betches.com.
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7/5/2023 • 50 minutes, 17 seconds
I Love My Mom Guilt
There's no shame in feeling guilty. Gwenna and Tori kick off this episode by reading listener emails about gentle parenting, pet peeves, and book recommendations. This week, they delve into the topic of how "mom guilt" and "mom shame" are often used interchangeably, even though they shouldn't be. In classic fashion, they read their definitions and share their own stories, discussing how they personally handle mom guilt. Finally, they compare their Mom Fails to see who failed the worst (or the best) as a parent.
Got an idea for the show? Send your topic suggestions, advice questions, and episode reactions to childproof@betches.com
Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promo
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6/28/2023 • 50 minutes, 10 seconds
Find The “Why” Behind The Lie
Let’s tell the truth, m’lady. Gwenna and Tori start off with the infamous phrase, "I don't know." They explore why kids sometimes genuinely don't know and discuss instances when they knew but still chose to lie. This week, they delve into the nuanced topic of lying and aim to help parents identify when and why their kids lie. Gwenna reads about the four different types of lying, and they chat about real-life examples and their approaches as parents to each type. To conclude the episode, they showcase their ability to deceive with a game of Two Truths and a Lie.
Got an idea for the show? Send your topic suggestions, advice questions, and episode reactions to childproof@betches.com
Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promo
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6/21/2023 • 45 minutes, 41 seconds
I’m A Gentle Parent Not A Gentle Person
We are gentle parenting our children... But when do they start gentle childing us? In this episode, Gwenna and Tori share their gentle parenting journeys and how they differ from each other, fellow parents, and Ms. Rachel. They explain that a significant aspect of gentle parenting is allowing your kids to say "no." Then, they define "no," the different ways kids use the word "no," and the scenarios in which you can actually reject your kids' "no." To close out the episode, they play a round of Would You Rather - parenting edition.
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6/14/2023 • 46 minutes, 57 seconds
You’re Not Bribing Your Kids Enough
You know what works better than asking nicely? Bribery. But when is it right to parent with positive reinforcement, and when is it okay to just pay the kid? Tori and Gwenna are talking all about the value of using incentives to teach your children to try new things and establish good habits. They also tell us whether or not their children get an allowance, and why Robux are just crypto for children. Plus, they talk about how to respond when something “isn’t fair” and fill us in on what it means to have a reasonable expectation of contribution (REC for short). Finally, they play a game of Double Standards all about the things they allow for themselves… but not for their kids.
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6/7/2023 • 46 minutes, 33 seconds
Popsicles, Fireworks, Cantaloupe, And Ketchup (Summer Kickoff)
School’s out for summer… let the chaos begin. Gwenna and Tori return with some tips for maintaining a schedule even when you no longer have a good excuse to send the kids to bed. They play a game of “Love It or Leave It: Summer Edition” with a run-through of some of our favorite childhood summertime touchstones. Do popsicles still taste as good to adults? Is the summer reading list worth the trouble? And is the beach as relaxing when your kids are the ones doing the digging? Finally, they play a round of Ketchup is a Vegetable, featuring some of the weirdest food combos you’ll find in their households. And yes, mayonnaise does in fact go with everything.
Send your summer questions and topic suggestions to childproof@betches.com
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5/31/2023 • 50 minutes, 49 seconds
My Kids Cuss More Than I Do
Uh huh, this my sh*t! In this episode, Gwenna and Tori share how they have been handling their kids using curse words. What should you do the first time your kid says “f*ck”? Gwenna (aka MommaCusses) says it’s okay as long as you teach them the 3 criteria to swearing and Tori shares their own boundaries around cussing. Speaking of speaking, they close out the episode by playing a game of Tolderese where they guess what their kids really mean when they say “Luh Lou”.
Got an idea for the show? Send your topic suggestions, advice questions, and episode reactions to childproof@betches.com
Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promo
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5/24/2023 • 50 minutes, 48 seconds
I'm My Kid's Friend, But They're Not Mine
Gwenna and Tori are back for another episode, this time diving in their relationships with their kids. They kick off with a listener email about feeling overwhelmed with the up and down nature of parenting; and how hard it can be to live up to your own expectation of being a good parent. Then they pose the question: Is it appropriate to be your kids' friend? They share their thoughts on how having a connection with your children can be a tricky responsibility to navigate, and why it’s important that the relationship remains friendly but doesn’t quite reach BFF level. After that, the get into their favorite family time activities, and how even fun time can offer opportunities to bond, learn, and relax (and why Monopoly is the WORST).
Got an idea for the show? Send your topic suggestions, advice questions, and episode reactions to childproof@betches.com
Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promo
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5/17/2023 • 44 minutes, 15 seconds
Am I Doing Mother’s Day Wrong?
Gwenna and Tori are wishing a ‘Childproof’ Mother’s Day to all the parents out there, starting with honest reviews of the gifts their kids got them this year. They tell us some of their favorite things about Mother’s Day, what they don’t want out of the day, and why some moms just want to take a break (and that’s okay). Plus, they tell us why a thoughtful gift is better than jewelry and flowers any day.
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5/14/2023 • 19 minutes, 47 seconds
I Yell At My Kids
You’re grounded… and that’s a good thing. Gwenna and Tori are back for another episode of Childproof, and start with some simple tricks for ‘staying grounded’ in moments of parenting chaos. They give examples of the times their kids learned to take an emotional break, and the times when it was okay for everyone to lose their sh*t. Then they each share some of their biggest parenting pet peeves: where did the second shoe go, why are your pockets always full of rocks, and when did you pour that milk in the garbage?
Be sure to send your parenting pet peeves to childproof@betches.com and leave us a review wherever you’re listening now!
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5/10/2023 • 47 minutes, 59 seconds
Are Routines For Me Or My Kids?
Start the timer! In the first episode of Childproof, hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom are talking all about parenting – specifically, the things the internet doesn’t tell you about having kids. They start with some tips for new parents – don’t just sleep when they sleep, cry when they cry – and share the secrets they’ve learned for establishing a routine that actually works. Finally, they play a game of Parents Say the Darndest Things, featuring some of the most ridiculous phrases they’ve had to say to their kids. You’d think “don’t lick the baseboards” goes without saying... but you’d be wrong.
Got an idea for the show? Send your topic suggestions, advice questions, and episode reactions to childproof@betches.com
Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promo
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5/3/2023 • 47 minutes, 1 second
Childproof (Trailer)
Betches Media’s Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. On Childproof, they attempt to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood.
Tune in every Wednesday, starting May 3rd, 2023 and subscribe now so you don't miss an episode!
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