1 phone call. 1 hour. No names. No holds barred. Thats the premise behind Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People, hosted by comedian Chris Gethard (the Chris Gethard Show, Broad City, This American Life, and one of Time Outs 10 best comedians of 2015). Every week, Chris opens the phone line to one anonymous caller, and he cant hang up first, no matter what. From shocking confessions and family secrets to philosophical discussions and shameless self-promotion, anything can and will happen! Theme song by Shellshag.
Bonus: Dad at Peace
We've got a special bonus excerpt of Gethard's new book for you! In Dad at Peace, Geth opens up about growing up, ditching the ego, and re-evaluating priorities. Read or listen to it for free at everand.com now!
2/2/2024 • 11 minutes, 46 seconds
In Search of a City
This empty-nester tells Gethard about the year she and her husband spent driving around the Southwest looking for a new city to call home. She and Geth discuss the ways that traveling throughout the USA can make you a more connected, empathetic person. Then, she breaks down what it means to be a little woo-woo and shares her favorite ghost story. Step into the New Year with Vessi. Visit vessi.com/beautiful for 15% off your first purchase! Enjoy free shipping to CA, US, AU, JP, TW, KR, SGP. Go to greenchef.com/60stories and use code 60stories to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next two months. Tickets for Laughing Together with Chris Gethard: A show raising money for mental health awareness in schools. Tickets for Beautiful/Anonymous at Treefort Music Fest Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
1/30/2024 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 14 seconds
Eat a Pickle
This week's caller is dealing with the loss of a friend who died earlier this year. She and Geth talk about processing grief, honoring the people you love, what sobriety means to her, and how it feels to be a poet sharing her words with the world. Also, pickles. Tickets for Laughing Together with Chris Gethard: A show raising money for mental health awareness in schools. Tickets for Beautiful/Anonymous at Treefort Music Fest Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Upgrade your closet with Quince. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for free shipping and 365-day returns on your order.
1/23/2024 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 55 seconds
What Would Ian MacKaye Do?
This week's caller wanted to talk with Geth about the punk and hardcore music scenes. Pretty quickly, that subject became a vehicle for a conversation about community, found family, growing up lonely, and finding places to connect in a difficult world. Tickets for Laughing Together with Chris Gethard: A show raising money for mental health awareness in schools. Tickets for Beautiful/Anonymous at Treefort Music Fest Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Set your kids up for success and get started today at gohenry.com/BEAUTIFUL. T&Cs apply. Renews from $4.99 per month unless canceled.
1/16/2024 • 1 hour, 15 minutes
Played Rugby, Changed My Life
A military veteran calls to talk with Gethard about co-parenting with her partner and his ex-wife who she was deployed with years ago. But this call goes in some directions neither she nor Geth expected. They talk about how rugby and one specific book led her to serve, what it was like being the only woman among 400 men while deployed, and how she thinks about the time she spent in Afghanistan today. Tickets for Laughing Together with Chris Gethard: A show raising money for mental health awareness in schools. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL to get $80 off of your first month and show your support for the show. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/beautiful50 and use code beautiful50 to get 50% off. Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
1/9/2024 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 13 seconds
2024 New Year's Resolutions
From being more patient, to taking over the family business, to making a killer beef Wellington, we’re ringing in the new year–as always–with the traditional New Year’s Resolutions episode! Geth talks with dozens of callers, two minutes at a time, and we get to hear all of your fun, serious, exciting, simple, ridiculous, significant resolutions for 2024. Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676
1/2/2024 • 1 hour, 50 minutes, 56 seconds
Piano Rock Priest
Our second Episcopal priest calls in, but this “professional Christian” has a totally different vibe. She talks about playing in a piano rock band, trying not to flip off other drivers on the road, and all the places we can find community–in and out of church. For more info on Geth’s upcoming tour dates head to chrisgeth.com Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
12/26/2023 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 39 seconds
A Human Breathing
Calling from New Zealand and nursing a hangover, this caller talks with Gethard about her Māori heritage, whether or not she feels compelled to make art with a message, and what the United States really thinks about New Zealanders. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $80 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL to get $80 off of your first month and show your support for the show. That’s talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL. Go to StoryWorth.com/beautiful and save $10 on your first purchase! That’s StoryWorth.com/beautiful to save $10 on your first purchase! Please visit www.cheekymaidensoap.com and use code BEAUTIFUL15 for 15% off your next order.
12/19/2023 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 35 seconds
Santería
A novice Santero who recently completed his Year in White calls to talk with Gethard about finding his way to Santería. They discuss some of the many stereotypes that outsiders believe about the religion, the aspects it shares with other religions, and how this caller has found healing and community in his practice. Please visit www.cheekymaidensoap.com and use code BEAUTIFUL15 for 15% off your next order. Visit AuraFrames.com today and get 30 dollars off their best-selling frames with the code BEAUTIFUL. These frames sell out quickly though, so get yours before they’re gone! Terms and conditions apply. Join Füm in accelerating humanity's breakup from destructive habits by picking up the Journey Pack today. Head to TryFum.com and use code BEAUTIFUL to save 10% off when you get the Journey pack today. Follow ‘Tis The Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to ‘Tis The Grinch Holiday Talk Show early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.
12/12/2023 • 1 hour, 33 minutes, 42 seconds
Niagra Falls
Calling with a 4 month old baby asleep in her arms, this week’s caller is the ultimate multitasker. She and Gethard talk about comedy, children’s theater, grad school, switching careers while raising a newborn, and so much more, including the funny connection Geth has to her child’s birth. Get $80 off your first month at Talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL Please visit www.cheekymaidensoap.com and use code BEAUTIFUL15 for 15% off your next order. Visit AuraFrames.com today and get 30 dollars off their best-selling frames with the code BEAUTIFUL. These frames sell out quickly though, so get yours before they’re gone! Terms and conditions apply. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/beautiful50 and use code beautiful50 to get 50% off. To learn more about Laughing Together, head to laughingtogether.org Listen to Gethard’s newest special, A Father and the Sun Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.
12/5/2023 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 51 seconds
Introducing ‘Tis The Grinch Holiday Talk Show
Cuddly as a cactus and charming as an eel, he’s your new favorite snarky talk show host. Join The Grinch (and his faithful dog Max) each week as he rants against Christmas cheer and roasts celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. Starring Saturday Night Live’s James Austin Johnson as the notorious curmudgeon and broadcasting straight from Who-Ville, will The Grinch send these famous folks back down Mt. Crumpit, or will they soften his stance against Christmas and grow his heart three sizes? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers and listen along to find out! Listen to ‘Tis The Grinch Holiday Talk Show: Wondery.fm/Grinch_BSFAP
12/4/2023 • 5 minutes, 37 seconds
You're Not the Rizzler Anymore (Episode 400)
For this, the 400th episode of Beautiful Anonymous, Gethard talks with a Gen Z law student who's getting ready to pick up her aunt, an 80 year old nun, so they can head home for the holidays. She catches him up on new slang, breaks down the specific horrors particular to each dating app, and then Geth puts her in the hot seat to help him understand exactly when he stopped being cool. We're also SO excited to finally announce that Beautiful/Anonymous+ is here, and you can sign up right now and beautifulanonymous.com At the "Rotary" tier, for five bucks a month, you get five random questions with the caller so you get to know them better. At the ten dollar a month "Touch Tone" tier, you get the extended episode, plus a monthly five question episode with a classic caller from the show's past AND once a month we put out a phone number just for people subscribing at this level. There's also a "Cellular Technology" tier which is a pay what you want level for people who have disposable income and want to show a little extra support for our show. You get everything at the "Touch Tone" tier, plus a letter of thanks written by Geth and mailed to you. Thank you for using some of your independent wealth to help support our show! If you sign up right now, you'll find the extra five questions for this episode, which include one of the best worst dating stories you'll ever hear, plus episodes rounding up all of the 5 Questions segments we've recorded with callers over the past few months, AND our first past caller follow up with listener favorite, "Selling Sex Toys in Vegas." There's plent to dive into, and we're going to keep it coming. Help your family share their story this holiday season with StoryWorth. Go to StoryWorth.com/beautiful today and save $10 on your first purchase! To get 15% off your next gift, go to UNCOMMONGOODS.com/BEAUTIFUL. Please visit www.cheekymaidensoap.com and use code BEAUTIFUL15 for 15% off your next order. To learn more about Laughing Together, head to laughingtogether.org Listen to Gethard’s newest special, A Father and the Sun Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get access to exclusive content!
11/28/2023 • 1 hour, 44 minutes, 18 seconds
Left the Jehovah's Witnesses for Satanism
This week's caller is a Buddhist by way of Satanism by way of the Jehovah's Witnesses. These days, he's a mindfulness teacher, but the road there was long and eventful. He tells Gethard about leaving the faith he was raised in and finding sex, drugs, and serial killers along the way. Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of sensitive topics, including explicit conversations about sex, drug use, and correspondences with a serial killer in prison. Visit AuraFrames.com today and get 30 dollars off their best-selling frames with the code BEAUTIFUL. These frames sell out quickly though, so get yours before they’re gone! Terms and conditions apply. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UNCOMMONGOODS.com/BEAUTIFUL. Don’t miss out on this limited time offer! Uncommon Goods. We’re all out of the ordinary. Please visit www.cheekymaidensoap.com and use code MINDFUL15 for 15% off your next order. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL to get $80 off of your first month and show your support for the show. To learn more about Laughing Together, head to laughingtogether.org Listen to Gethard’s newest special, A Father and the Sun Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
11/21/2023 • 1 hour, 43 minutes, 23 seconds
Never, Always, Should (F*** Jerry Lewis)
This week’s caller and Gethard have a lot in common. Two North Jersey guys with ties to the local music scene, who work hard to make their art, and have complicated feelings about how they define failure and success. They talk about all of this, plus the caller’s decision to retire as an artist now that he’s about to have a kid, and how all of this affects and is affected by moving through the world as an amputee with cerebral palsy. Join Füm in accelerating humanity's breakup from destructive habits by picking up the Journey Pack today. Head to TryFum.com and use code BEAUTIFUL to save 10% off when you get the Journey pack today. Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners in honor of Black Friday! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEAUTIFUL and use code HELIXPARTNER25. This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/beautiful. Don’t miss out on this limited time offer! Uncommon Goods. We’re all out of the ordinary. To learn more about Laughing Together, head to laughingtogether.org Listen to Gethard’s newest special, A Father and the Sun Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
11/14/2023 • 1 hour, 27 minutes, 1 second
Gave My Dad a Kidney
This caller gave her dad a kidney just a few weeks ago. She called in to talk with Gethard about the importance of living donation, but this conversation ended up being about so much more: overwhelming loss, unbelievable resilience, and why sometimes you just have to laugh so you don’t lose it. If you’re interested in learning more about living donation, here’s a place to start: organdonor.gov As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $80 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/beautiful50 and use code beautiful50 to get 50% off. This podcast is sponsored by Nutrisense. Visit Nutrisense.com/beautiful and use code beautiful to save $30 off your first month plus get a month of board certified nutritionist support. To learn more about Laughing Together, head to laughingtogether.org Listen to Gethard’s newest special, A Father and the Sun Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
11/7/2023 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 6 seconds
Bought a Mardi Gras Float
This week’s caller is a PhD student with a connective tissue disorder who owns a Mardi Gras float. And that barely scratches the surface of what she and Gethard talk about. From first tattoos, to quirky parents, to defining what constitutes partying to this caller, she and Geth pack a lot into this hour long conversation. To learn more about Laughing Together and the workshops it provides, head to laughingtogether.org Listen to Gethard’s newest special, A Father and the Sun Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
10/31/2023 • 1 hour, 26 minutes, 45 seconds
Moved to an Island on a Whim
Thirty-eight weeks pregnant and living on a mysterious (to Geth) island off the west coast of the United States, this week's caller talks to Gethard about packing up her life and moving from the mainland, taking a ferry to Starbucks, and why it's sometimes easier to connect with animals than children. Listen to Gethard’s newest special, A Father and the Sun Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
10/24/2023 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 16 seconds
Introducing What It’s Like to Be…
Sharing something special from our friend Dan Heath, NYT bestselling author and host of the new podcast What It’s Like To Be... The show explores the world of work by interviewing interesting people with interesting jobs. You’ll be a fly on the wall as Dan talks to couples therapist Laura Heck: How can she spot a bad client before they walk in the door? What’s her favorite activity to try with struggling couples? You’ll hear what it’s like to walk in her shoes… You can hear more episodes of What It’s Like to Be… at https://link.chtbl.com/beautifulanon and get insights on Instagram at @whatitsliketobepodcast.
10/18/2023 • 30 minutes, 16 seconds
Ship Builders on Adderall
It's this visual artist's first day taking Adderall for ADHD. He talks to Gethard about the experience, about making art, about art making you uncomfortable, and why it's okay if your art doesn't always resonate with everyone. Plus, Gethard shares something he heard Henry Rollins say that affected how he's thought about his own art ever since. Listen to Gethard’s newest special, A Father and the Sun. Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
10/17/2023 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 29 seconds
Ex-Belly Dancer
An ex-belly dancer waiting for her cat sitter to show up opens this call by telling Gethard about participating in whimsical hobbies on the Jersey shore. Then, she breaks down the social justice issues inherent in her former profession and the part those issues played in her recent transition into a new phase of life. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL to get $80 off of your first month and show your support for the show. Join Füm in accelerating humanity's breakup from destructive habits by picking up the Journey Pack today. Head to TryFum.com and use code BEAUTIFUL to save 10% off when you get the Journey pack today. Listen to Gethard’s new special, A Father and the Sun. Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
10/10/2023 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 48 seconds
A Real Life Dog Pile
An LA punk tells Gethard how his life changed in some really hard–but also some really beautiful–ways when his mom got sick. While taking Geth along on his day job as a dog walker, he describes how he’s applying what he learned then to his life now. Visit Nutrisense.com/BEAUTIFUL and use code BEAUTIFUL to start decoding your body's messages, and pave the way for a healthier life! Be sure to tell them you learned about Nutrisense on the Beautiful Anonymous podcast That’s Nutrisense.com/BEAUTIFUL to save $30 off your first month plus get a month of board certified nutritionist support. Listen to Gethard’s new special, A Father and the Sun. Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
10/3/2023 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 20 seconds
Mom With a Second on the Way
This week’s caller just found out she’s pregnant with her second child. She and Gethard commiserate over the joys of parenting– like when your kid uses you as a human napkin. She also tells him about the worst member of her wedding party, and the two share their mutual love for what might be the best children’s show, ever. Listen to Gethard’s new special, A Father and the Sun. Check out New Jersey Is the World. Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Learn more about the work Geth’s doing with Laughing Together. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
9/26/2023 • 1 hour, 29 minutes, 31 seconds
Secret Internet Relationship
This week's caller struck up a friendship with a woman he met online at a low point in his life. He and Gethard have a tough conversation about what happened after the two finally met in person. Listen to Geth this week on Toby Morse's podcast, One Life One Chance. Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
9/19/2023 • 1 hour, 27 minutes, 23 seconds
Betrayed by My First Love
This week's caller is a self-described "woman of stories" who shares one with Geth about being deeply betrayed by someone she loved. In the proces of telling her story, she gives a masterclass on empathy and compassion. Thanks to everyone who came out to the first Laughing Together show. LaughingTogether.org for more information. Preorder Unreliable Narrator by Aparna Nancherla now. Keep up with Gethard's tour dates at chrisgeth.com Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod
9/12/2023 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 2 seconds
Two Bad Dads
Geth talks with a caller who found out her stepfather was leading multiple secret lives. Then, she explains how connecting with another family member helped her realize her biological father had some secrets of his own. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod Laughing Together’s Comedy In the Name of Mental Health, featuring Chris Gethard along with Eddie Pepitone, Christi Chiello, Aparna Nancherla, and Nicole Byer (what a lineup!) will be held on September 7th at the Anaheim Convention Center and is FREE to attend. Visit https://laughingtogether.org for more information and/or to make a donation. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-yearsupply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkAG1.com/BEAUTIFUL. That’s drinkAG1.com/BEAUTIFUL. Check it out. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions – and manage your money the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/BEAUTIFUL
9/5/2023 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 45 seconds
The "Love Is Everywhere" Waffle Brunch (live from Beautiful/Cononymous)
Today’s bonus episode was recorded live back in May at Beautiful/Cononymous. Longtime listeners of Beautiful/Anonymous will remember Heidi and her family from the extremely special and emotionally impactful episode, “Love Is Everywhere” (episode 69, you’ll want to go back and listen to that one first if you haven’t yet). During that call, Heidi discussed the realities of navigating her daughter Holly’s cancer diagnosis, the pain and suffering that came along with that diagnosis, and finding joy and love in all of the spaces in between. It’s a call Gethard cites as changing him as an artist and a person, and we know how much the call has meant to so many of our listeners. As part of Beautiful/Cononymous, Heidi joined Gethard on stage to take a series of calls answering the topic “What does, ‘Love Is Everywhere’ mean to you?” It was a beautiful, unique experience. We’re so happy we get to share it with you today. This episode was recorded during the Beautiful/Cononymous waffle brunch, which was a fundraiser for Make-a-Wish Oregon, a foundation that is very important to Heidi and her family. You’ll hear more about that in the episode, but if you’d like to make a donation or learn other ways to contribute, you can do so here: https://wish.org/fundraising.
9/1/2023 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 50 seconds
Hoagies, Cats, and Lyme
A graphic designer who moved home and is helping her family run their 90-year-old hoagie shop tells Gethard about winning a national grilled cheese competition and the sandwich that sent her to the hospital, fostering over 30 cats, accidentally breaking into a stranger’s apartment, and her long journey to getting diagnosed with Chronic Lyme, a controversial illness she helps shed some light on. Then, she and Geth trade taco recommendations. Laughing Together’s Comedy In the Name of Mental Health, featuring Chris Gethard along with Eddie Pepitone, Christi Chiello, Aparna Nancherla, and Nicole Byer (what a lineup!) will be held on September 7th at the Anaheim Convention Center and is FREE to attend. Visit https://laughingtogether.org for more information and/or to make a donation. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL to get $80 off of your first month and show your support for the show. That’s talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL. Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod.
8/29/2023 • 1 hour, 19 minutes, 18 seconds
Beautiful Chaos
This week’s caller keeps Geth on his toes with a real roller coaster of a conversation. It starts out with a pretty intense story and some frank talk about mental health and suicide, and then it goes off in about ten other strange and beautiful directions that include travels in Boston and Philly, picking up embroidery during the pandemic, and rip-sticking around New York City. And that’s not even half of what Gethard and our caller talk about this week. Laughing Together’s Comedy In the Name of Mental Health, featuring Chris Gethard along with Eddie Pepitone, Christi Chiello, Aparna Nancherla, and Nicole Byer (what a lineup!) will be held on September 7th at the Anaheim Convention Center and is FREE to attend. Visit https://laughingtogether.org for more information and/or to make a donation. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-yearsupply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkAG1.com/BEAUTIFUL. Check it out. Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on Instagram @beautifulanonymouspod.
8/22/2023 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 22 seconds
Indiana Jones is a Terrible Archaeologist
An archaeologist shares memories of drinking champagne at a dig site and what’s so exciting about uncovering a two-inch piece of ancient stone tablet. She also discusses the history of colonial looting and the complicated nature of looting today. Then, Gethard and our caller break down what makes Indiana Jones–the most famous archaeologist–so bad at his job. In this week’s introduction, Gethard recommends the Uncanny X-Men-focused podcast, CEREBRO. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL to get $80 off of your first month and show your support for the show.
8/15/2023 • 1 hour, 26 minutes, 37 seconds
I Survived a Bear Attack and Plane Crash in the Same Year
An Alaskan pilot describes what it’s like living with an airplane runway in your front yard and then recounts an incredibly eventful year, which included surviving a bear attack AND a plane crash. Yes, a bear attack AND a plane crash. In the same year. Geth also shares the details that led to this new era of Beautiful/Anonymous and lets everyone in on some of the exciting stuff we've got in store for you.
8/8/2023 • 1 hour, 27 minutes, 2 seconds
The Mattress Underground (Live from Beaut/Con)
A cat enthusiast tells Geth about his descent into madness early pandemic when he tried to build the perfect mattress. He also introduces Chris to the online community of mattress reviews, describes his time living in a monastery, and shares a story about when his uncle "melted."
8/1/2023 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 10 seconds
Sex Injury
A lawyer details tearing his meniscus during sex and how it changed his perspective on aging. He also explains why the first call he made after the incident was to his mother. Later on, he opens up to Geth about trying to be a good person, splitting his time between corporate law and working with individual people.
7/25/2023 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 35 seconds
IVF at 44
A woman speaks with Geth about the physical and emotional toll of starting IVF (In vitro fertilization) at 41. She discusses stigma around IVF, the exorbitant cost, and experiencing "genetic grief" using an egg donor. She also opens up about how she was treated by doctors as a plus size woman ahead of her treatments.
7/18/2023 • 49 minutes, 37 seconds
Met My Brother At 51
A woman describes the complicated feelings she had growing up with a brother, losing him to suicide, and finally meeting her long lost older brother at age 51. She also shares with Geth how her mom reacted to the news and what it feels like to have a whole new family.
7/11/2023 • 51 minutes, 5 seconds
Ran Away to Mexico (Live from Beaut/Con)
A woman explains why she fled home and her husband of 20 years to live in a small Mexican town. She describes how leaving for 5 months actually helped their marriage. Later on, a man from the live Beaut/Con audience joins onstage to discuss his experience being on the other side of "taking a break" from a relationship, along with some other surprise guests.
7/4/2023 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 1 second
Old School Hippie
A semi-retired nurse speaks with Geth about the Joni Mitchell concert she recently attended that was so beautiful, it made her cry. She describes other unforgettable performances she's seen over the years including The Grateful Dead, Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, and Bruce Springsteen. She also opens up about her time doing hospice care for patients during the AIDS crisis, trying to be a better partner, and remaining “cool” past a certain age.
6/27/2023 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 27 seconds
2 Furries Fall In Love
A Canadian Furry shares truths and misconceptions about his community. He opens up about meeting his husband on the "Bark" app and explains how being a Furry helped him cope with Borderline Personality Disorder. He and Geth also get into the specifics of how Furries have sex.
6/20/2023 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 44 seconds
I Evacuated Because Of The Wildfires
A dogwalker from Nova Scotia speaks with Chris about being forced to evacuate due to out-of-control wildfires. She describes how quickly the fires grew and the pain of seeing people in her community lose their homes and in some cases, their pets. Later on, she opens up about what she learned from the 'Love is Everywhere' call.
6/13/2023 • 1 hour, 47 seconds
Murder Wedding (Live from Beaut/Con)
A former wedding planner tells the insane story of a murder that happened right before the ceremony. She also discusses runaway grooms and navigating feuding parents with a restraining order. Later on, she reveals a surprise connection to a previous caller which leads to a shocking confrontation at the live Beautiful/CONonymous recording in Brooklyn.
6/6/2023 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 27 seconds
Outside the Box Psychologist
During Mental Health Awareness Month, Geth speaks with a 67-year-old psychologist about combating loneliness post 2020. She discusses working with clients aged 6 to 86 and the effects of the pandemic on teachers and students. She also reflects on what it was like seeing Chris’ Off-Broadway play the day after Trump got elected.
5/30/2023 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 7 seconds
American Teenager in 2023
A high school senior speaks with Geth about going through the pandemic as a teenager. She discusses her fear of being in a school shooting and how disconnected she feels her generation is because of screens. She explains why she turned down UCLA and is instead pursuing a career in gymnastics. She also opens up about her mom's passing, feeling like an old soul as a result, and looking forward to a fresh start next year.
5/23/2023 • 59 minutes, 33 seconds
48-Year-Old Grandpa
A truck driver describes his wild past as a bass guitar player in a band. He discusses crazy near-death experiences including a moped accident that led to many broken bones and meeting his future wife. He also opens up to Geth about leaving the music scene when his son was born and how he felt when he found out his daughter tried pot.
5/16/2023 • 1 hour, 21 seconds
Mommy On OnlyFans
A woman opens up about losing her mom to Fentanyl, the dark humor of her deathaversary falling on 4/20, and never doubting their bond despite her issues. She and Geth also unpack why she gets so many requests from twenty-something men on OnlyFans wanting her to play a mommy role. Later on, they discuss how she found her confidence after not having sex for 6 years and tips for directing a threesome.
5/9/2023 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 4 seconds
Adult Baby/Diaper Lover
A man speaks with Geth about having this particular kink from a young age and how his parents reacted when they caught him with diapers. He explains the difference between ABDLs and age regression play and dispels harmful myths about his community. They also discuss the cloth diaper movement, “babyfurs,” and falling in love.
5/2/2023 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 23 seconds
Ex-Husband Tried To Kill Me
A mother of 3 speaks with Geth about the best and worst year of her life. She opens up about separating from her toxic ex-husband, becoming a registered nurse, getting Meningitis, and falling in love with a mutual friend. She also describes the shocking confrontation that took place at her boyfriend’s house when her ex showed up with a gun. This episode contains a conversation about emotional abuse, gun violence, and suicidal ideation, so please keep that in mind if you decide to listen.
4/25/2023 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 50 seconds
Hardcore Yo-Yo Enthusiast
Geth speaks with one of the world's biggest yo-yo fans about shady yo-yo people, competitive yo-yoing, and what his partner thinks of his extensive yo-yo collection. Chris also reacts to a video of a famous yo-yoer while the caller breaks down his most impressive moves. Later on, they discuss the beauty of embracing a hobby.
4/18/2023 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 37 seconds
Curing Cancer in New Zealand
A Cuban expat tells Chris about her incredible journey from Cuba to New Zealand to work on cancer immunotherapies. She opens up about why she left her home country and how the George Floyd protests made her question her own place in the world as a black, Cuban woman. She also discusses the importance of not getting emotionally tied to her cancer research and describes how shaving her head and embracing her natural hair made her feel reborn.
4/11/2023 • 56 minutes, 58 seconds
Ugly Custody Battle
A father opens up to Geth about a years long custody battle over his son with his ex. He discusses their decision to co-habitat as platonic roommates for 4 years despite breaking up before their son was even born. He also explains how his use of Psilocybin for cluster headaches was used against him in court.
4/4/2023 • 58 minutes, 42 seconds
The Chill Priest
Catholic, but without the guilt. A priest discusses why the Episcopal church is often described as "Catholic-lite." He speaks with Geth about being pro LGBTQIA+, marrying another priest, and going to therapy. He also opens up about having doubts and explains why it's ok to keep questioning the faith.
3/28/2023 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 38 seconds
Chris Gethard Presents: The Lonely Dad Conversations
Geth has a new book out called "The Lonely Dad Conversations," and you're about to hear a sneak peek! He sits down with some of his closest comrades for no-holds-barred conversations about transitioning to dad life. You can get the whole book for free at https://try.scribd.com/gethard/
3/24/2023 • 17 minutes, 7 seconds
Jersey Italian Grandma
Kidnapping mobsters, a phone call from beyond the grave, and holy water in a vodka bottle. A Jersey Italian grandmother always has stories. She and Geth bond over Jersey Italian accents, Sunday dinners, and potatoes in a cup. She also describes her unique relationship with her ex-husband and shares her love of the Tour de France.
3/21/2023 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 39 seconds
Punk Rock Lawyer
She considered herself a hardcore anarchist, until she became a lawyer. A tattooed, body building, sometimes musician discusses her journey to becoming an attorney. She shares wild stories with Geth about punching through glass doors, not fitting the lawyer stereotype, and changing her hard partying ways.
3/14/2023 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 27 seconds
Lean, Mean, and Serene
A 62-year-old Mexican American woman pitches hosting the Spanish language version of Beautiful/Anonymous to Geth and explains why she wants to live to 120. She also discusses practicing Judaism and having a wild Bat Mitzvah in her forties. Later on, she opens up about how her eating disorder affected her relationship with her daughters.
3/7/2023 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 44 seconds
School Bus Mafia (Live from Phoenix)
What could a bunch of 10-year-olds do to make a bus aide quit after 20 minutes on the job? A teacher describes what happened when he was running his family's school bus company and an aide ditched the kids in Times Square. He opens up about leaving the family bus business and why it drove him to drink at Gogo bars by night. He and Geth also discuss the school bus mafia, best Jersey bars, and how one knows if they're a good person.
2/28/2023 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 28 seconds
My Dad Was An Axe Murderer
Imagine growing up with a secret so big, you had to change your name. A young man opens up about finding out that his father was an axe murderer. He describes what it was like meeting his dad for the first time in prison. He shares what happened when he realized that his college professor had picked up a hitchhiker that turned out to be his father. He and Geth also discuss America’s fascination with true crime and coming to terms with his trans identity.
2/21/2023 • 1 hour, 46 seconds
Valentine's Day (Live from Sirius XM)
Naked at a Tai Chi retreat, online playing Counter-Strike, at karaoke, and the Home Depot. Geth learns the unexpected ways people have found love on this special Valentine’s Day episode. Live from Sirius XM in NYC, Chris speaks with callers about getting dumped, spicing things up with a bidet, what it’s like to date a party clown, and more.
2/14/2023 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 25 seconds
Diarrhea In Burning Buildings (Live From Pittsburgh)
A former volunteer firefighter describes to Geth what happened when she needed to poop while a building was on fire. She also discusses her love of driving fast, the benefits of a good ass scratch, losing and gaining friends during her transition, and what makes a good dick pic.
2/7/2023 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 36 seconds
Americanize My Accent
A 26-year-old social worker explains how she “Americanized” her Indian accent by watching “The Suite Life of Zack & Cody.” She opens up to Geth about assimilating to the U.S. and why her opinions on arranged marriage did not sit well with her parents. She also shares how undiagnosed Lyme disease led to her becoming immunocompromised.
1/31/2023 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 12 seconds
Tales From A Timber Faller
Bears, mountain lions, and a lost pinky toe. A logger from Montana shares crazy stories about animal encounters, broken legs, and "Lucky one nutted Norm." He explains why his sons aren’t allowed to be loggers and educates Geth on the dangers of an Idaho jammer. He also discusses why after 41 years on the job and many injuries, he still can’t imagine retiring.
1/24/2023 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 56 seconds
Dating 3 People At Once
Is it ok to date multiple people at the same time? A 25-year-old asks Geth to help her choose between 3 guys that are interested in her. She opens up about getting dumped, becoming a serial Hinge dater, and not wanting to hurt other people. They also discuss the importance of having fun while you're young and how to stop thinking so hard.
1/17/2023 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 30 seconds
Sex As a New Mom
Between recovering from a difficult childbirth and taking care of an infant, sex is the last thing on this new mom's mind. Though weed helps get her get in the mood, she wonders if she's relying on it too much. She opens up about concerns over her husband's attitude towards fatherhood and feeling guilty for not having much sex since the birth. Later on, Geth reflects on his time as a dad and shares tips for new parents to stay sane.
1/10/2023 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 35 seconds
2023 New Year’s Resolutions
Hike to the mesosphere. Be a better partner, but most importantly, stop being apologetic about your farts. New year's resolutions are serious business in 2023! Geth speaks with someone who's preparing a 5 minute clowning act, a woman who intends to complete an 18,000 piece puzzle, a college student addicted to collecting fountain pens, and resolutions from former callers.
1/3/2023 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 46 seconds
Snoop Dogg Stole My Xbox (Live from Asheville)
A lighting console programmer describes starting his career on the set of Snoop Dogg’s “Hood of Horror” and moving on to work for Marvel and DC. He discusses the pressure to succeed in the film industry as a person of color who is on the spectrum. He also reveals to Geth how some lighting designers add Easter eggs into their films via lighting “morse code” including a scene in “Black Panther.”
12/27/2022 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 18 seconds
Boujee Dirtbag
What's Kim Kardashian like? A 25-year-old shares wild stories about living and working in a boujee Colorado ski town teaching wealthy people (including Kim and Kanye) how to ski. She opens up about being the daughter of diplomats wondering if she'll move to Europe to be closer to her parents. She describes moving between worlds hanging out with billionaires by day and "dirtbag hippies" by night. She also explains why her father feels safer in Europe than he does in the U.S. as a black person.
12/20/2022 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 27 seconds
Saving Feet, Saving Souls (Live from Durham)
If you heard a blood curdling scream, what would you do? A man tells the story of what he did for a stranger who severed his foot mowing the lawn. He also describes his annual camping trip where he invites 100+ people and doesn’t tell them where they’re going. Later on, he shares with Geth what his cat Santa taught him about love.
12/13/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 17 seconds
Fell In Love With My Therapist
What started as therapy turned into obsession and betrayal. A mother of 4 explains how her therapist manipulated her into thinking she was in love with him. She describes to Geth how he blurred the lines of their relationship with 8 hour sessions and drunken, late night voicemails. She also shares what happened after she reported him to the police and what investigators found when they showed up to his office.
12/6/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 36 seconds
Great Grandma Was A Serial Killer (Live From Chicago)
Rat poison, pill overdose, and tripping over a shotgun. A young woman describes the suspicious circumstances surrounding the deaths of her great grandma’s many husbands. She also opens up about overcoming a tumultuous childhood and what it’s like having 16 siblings. Later on, she reveals to Geth how she found love at IHOP and the dumbest way to get a concussion at a theme park.
11/29/2022 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 35 seconds
Brain Surgery Changed My Boyfriend
They were planning their life together, but a traumatic brain injury changed everything. A woman shares what happened when her boyfriend woke up from brain surgery with a different personality and no memory of their relationship. She opens up about moving to a big city, becoming a DJ, and how in a way, they both became different people. Later on, she and Geth discuss getting sober, sexual compatibility post brain surgery, biking to Mexico, and the beauty of life now.
11/22/2022 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 29 seconds
Gay Zombies (Live From Edinburgh)
A zombie fan explains to Geth why ‘Night of the Living Dead’ meant so much to him growing up as a closeted Mormon. He also shares his own dreams of writing a zombie movie and breaks down his favorite films in the genre. Later on, he opens up about processing religious trauma and how leaving the faith has changed his relationship with his family.
11/15/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 28 seconds
Let’s Talk About Grief
A 33-year-old reflects on losing her first love in Afghanistan at 18 and dating his best friend after the tragedy. She opens up to Geth about the mental and physical abuse she endured in the second relationship and the fallout it caused with friends and family. She also shares the surprising way she found closure after her boyfriend’s passing with a psychic medium.
11/8/2022 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 39 seconds
The Putty Man (Live from Madison)
Just in time for Halloween, a 47-year-old horror fan shares the premise of the spooky novel she's writing. She and Geth get nostalgic over trick-or-treat traditions and she explains how scary movies help her cope with anxiety. Later on, they attempt to make contact with the ghost (aka "The Putty Man") that haunts Madison's Majestic Theater in front of the live audience.
11/1/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 17 seconds
Library Boy (Live from Cudahy)
Anonymous notes in the library and a will they/won’t they story spanning years. A woman shares the epic tale of her own “You’ve Got Mail” situation and what she learned from the experience. She explains how hiding letters in books turned into 8 months of back and forth with a mystery guy otherwise known as “library boy.” Geth and the live audience ask all your burning questions including, “what happened?!” Later on, she reveals the fate of her mystery man and why she’s happy now.
10/25/2022 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 26 seconds
From Slinging Bibles to Slinging Knives
What's easier to sell: God or knives? A father of 2 speaks to Geth about going from pastor life to selling knives out of a van. He explains why some ministers end up leaving and moving into sales. He also opens up about adultery in the church, getting into therapy, trying weed, and how his marriage improved after switching careers.
10/18/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 16 seconds
Could You Beat a Raccoon In a Fight? (Live from Edinburgh)
Chris speaks with a young woman about her psychic abilities, putting them to the test in front of the live audience. She explains her fascination with astrology TikTok and analyzes Geth's birth chart despite his skepticism. He presents some thought provoking questions about raccoons, favorite berries, and the existence of ghosts. Later on, she opens up about doing EMDR therapy and how it's benefitted her.
10/11/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 19 seconds
Succeeding At Failure (Live from Edinburgh)
Chris speaks with a young woman who purposefully set herself up for a year of failure to develop a thicker skin. She shares her experiences trying stand-up comedy, MCing a parade, and getting rejected by a dating show. She also wrote a letter to Jason Sudeikis asking if he’d go bowling with her. Did he ever receive her request? Geth texts Jason to find out. She also opens up about getting divorced and how a year of rejection helped her deal with anxiety and depression.
10/4/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 35 seconds
Ranger Danger
Elephants are overrated. At least that's what this former zookeeper thinks. A park interpreter opens up to Geth about her experience working at the zoo including the struggle to earn a decent wage. She describes her love of working with hippos and the dangers of "scary smart monkeys." She discusses her frustration with people in her state being allowed to own exotic animals and her issues with "Tiger King." She also shares her thoughts about keeping animals in captivity and details about her current position helping people connect to nature.
9/27/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 58 seconds
Pole Dancing & A Talking Bird (Live from Portland)
A hairstylist from Canada explains how she went from powerlifting to pole dancing recreationally. She introduces the live audience in Portland to one of her three birds. Will he squawk his signature line, "did you poopie?" You'll have to wait and see! She also shares with Geth the story of being proposed to by her high school sweetheart in a hotel bathroom. Later on, they debate if she has a Canadian accent and discuss their scariest bird moments.
9/20/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 16 seconds
Pharmacy Technician to Welder
Getting arrested on New Year's Eve was a blessing in disguise. A woman describes how working as a pharmacy tech led to pill addiction. She opens up to Geth about starting detox in prison and healing her relationship with her son. She also shares what it's like welding "space crap" with lasers and what she's learned in recovery about empathy.
9/13/2022 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 48 seconds
Wedding Season (Live from Michigan)
Everyone lied to her about what it’s like to plan a wedding. A bride-to-be opens up about stress, making tough decisions, and wedding crashers leading up to the big day. She and Geth bond over how great it feels not to invite someone you don’t actually like. Later on, Chris and the audience help write her vows and pick out a wedding song.
9/6/2022 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 21 seconds
The Nerd That Becomes the Bully
He didn’t become the person he wanted, so he took it out on her. A young woman speaks with Geth about her abusive ex and the red flags she realized in retrospect. She opens up about how he used pity as a manipulation tactic, threatened "social blackmail," controlled how she dressed, and ended the relationship while they were tripping on acid. She also describes the eventual fallout between their mutual friends and how much better her life is now.
8/30/2022 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 6 seconds
Dodging Bombs & Tornados (Live from Boston)
A gum covered dog, a bomb threatened hospital, and a tornado warning. A woman describes the cartoonish obstacles she had to overcome to visit her ailing father. She opens up to Geth about navigating family drama and the weirdness of getting emails about Father’s Day. Later on, the audience welcomes her to the “dead dad club” with no shortage of dark jokes.
8/23/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 18 seconds
Big City To The Middle of Nowhere
The nature is good, but the isolation and no pizza delivery? Not so great. A lawyer speaks with Geth about transitioning from big city living to farm life. She opens up about her discomfort “presenting as wealthy,” growing up working class, and raising her kids not to be spoiled. Later on, she shares what happened when her baby needed brain surgery and her deep appreciation for Canada's healthcare system.
8/16/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 1 second
Cocaine Lady Is Also a Scorpio (Live from Pittsburgh)
She got ghosted by a guy with a pet rabbit named Bun Bun, but not before he gave her covid. A painter explains to Geth why she moved into an RV with a crystal-selling-hippie and how she confronted him at his mom's house. She also discusses the time her dad talked her down during an acid trip, why she quit drugs during the pandemic, and how different her life is now.
8/9/2022 • 1 hour, 7 minutes
Young Guy With A Positive Attitude
Wrist surgery turned into something more serious and his dog lost a leg to cancer, but that won’t keep this caller down. Geth speaks with a 25-year-old about how growing up without a ton of money and selling homemade yarn balls to pay for summer camp shaped his positive outlook on life. He shares stories about delivering Peloton bikes to billionaires, working in real estate, and growing up in a religious household. He also opens up about getting married young and proudly describes his wife as “badass” for becoming a commercial pilot.
8/2/2022 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 39 seconds
Nothing But Threesomes (Live from Woodstock)
A 24-year-old woman keeps getting hit on by couples, but she's never had a threesome. Geth and a live audience help her decide if she should go on a throuple date for the free food. She also opens up about moving from a small island to NYC to escape the fighting between her mom and grandma. She wonders if her dysfunctional family is the reason she attracts engaged women, married men who claim to be in the secret service, and other "crazy people."
7/26/2022 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 32 seconds
Quitting Journalism
A queer journalist opens up to Geth about the pressure to be active on social media and feeling traumatized covering the news. They discuss the complicated relationship between comedy and journalism and what happened when he got called out in someone's special. He also talks through his frustrations with clickbait headlines and famous comedians making jokes about trans people.
7/19/2022 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 41 seconds
Solo Traveler (Live From Sirius XM)
Live from Sirius XM studios in New York, it's Beautiful/Anonymous!A 31-year-old single Californian shares the pros and cons of traveling around Europe alone. She speaks with Geth about how she kept the trip a secret from her job and the perks of crying with a mask on at Euro Disney. She also discusses feeling guilty as the daughter of Indian immigrants for wanting to renounce her U.S. Citizenship after the overturning of Roe v. Wade.
7/12/2022 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 41 seconds
Heart Attack At 42
A woman describes the surprising events that led to her heart attack. She opens up to Geth about the fact that her brother died last year of a heart attack at 42 under completely different circumstances. She also shares the letter she wrote to her husband detailing her final wishes, including that he not sprinkle her ashes on their garden and grow "death tomatoes." Later on, she discusses planning a booze cruise funeral, the pros of not having kids, and feeling at peace with her life.
7/5/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 5 seconds
Foster Parents Who Love D&D (Live from Seattle)
A married couple who recently became foster parents talk about what motivated them to foster and how it’s dramatically changed their lives. They open up about how everyday is "emotional limbo" because they don't know if the kids will return to their birth parents. They also share their love of D&D, revealing character names such as Trina Tinkleberry the gnome.
6/28/2022 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 18 seconds
Two Married People Have An Affair
Chris speaks with a man about having an affair with a married woman he met at work and the aftermath of his decision. He opens up about getting divorced and losing friends. He also shares how his bipolar disorder affected the marriage and the importance of focusing on his mental health now.
6/21/2022 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 6 seconds
Big Time Goof (Live from Ann Arbor)
A self described “big time goof” with a laugh you won't forget opens up to Geth about his dreams of becoming a traveling musician. The former children's librarian discusses his favorite children's book "Everybody Poops" and explains why he calls himself "the king of cats." He also plays a song inspired by his life loosely titled “Narrow Urethra.” You can guess what that’s about.
6/14/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 24 seconds
Queerness and Faith
In order to keep her faith, she had to accept who she really was. A woman speaks with Geth about going through a breakup and bringing her queerness and spirituality into alliance. She opens up about being part of a church that did more harm to her than good and finding a higher purpose. She also discusses moving back in with her parents post breakup and a potential autism diagnosis.
6/7/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 24 seconds
Drug Money For Law School
A law student shares how he ended up paying for school selling weed on the dark web. He explains why he thinks college is a scam and how dealing drugs is a study in human behavior. He also confirms Geth's suspicions that law students like to party with a story about a mimosa brunch gone awry.
5/31/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 28 seconds
Improvisational Jazz
A piano playing jazz musician improvises songs with Chris about his son's tummy troubles, art, and life. She also opens up about doing a stand-up set for her musical hero and experiencing harassment as a woman in the jazz world.
5/24/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 8 seconds
Raising a Son With Autism
A father in Portugal opens up to Geth about fatherhood and raising a child with Autism. He explains how his son’s diagnosis made him start to question if he too might be on the Autism spectrum. He also discusses where to vacation in his home country and some things you might not know about Portugal.
5/17/2022 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 55 seconds
Mixed-Orientation Marriage
After 20 years together, her husband told her that he was attracted to men. Now they're in an open marriage and still best friends. A woman opens up to Geth about being honest with their kids, sex after menopause, and her husband’s Parkinson’s diagnosis.
5/10/2022 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 2 seconds
The Land Of Smiles (Live from Denver)
A native Texan opens up to Geth about leaving everything behind after her mom’s death and moving to Thailand. She shares a crazy story about the time she got robbed then moved in with a Muay Thai fighter. She also talks about the complicated relationship she had with her mom including the fact that she slept with several of her friends. This episode includes a conversation about suicide, so please keep that in mind before you listen. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
5/3/2022 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 50 seconds
Identical Twins
Geth speaks with charming, identical twin geniuses about “twin hopping,” fraternal twin frauds, and who would play them in a film. They get into twin shenanigans like convincing people that identical twins don't have belly buttons. Chris pitches ideas for a twin hosted podcast. They also discuss their jobs including working in national security and creating virtual reality textbook illustrations.
4/26/2022 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 44 seconds
Attacked By Birds Listening to Beautiful/Anonymous (Live from Sacramento)
An ornithologist speaks with Geth about studying skuas and the time she almost punched a penguin. She opens up about how working in the field has affected her love life. She also describes the special bond that comes from living with a small group in a remote area and the joy of eating ice cream in Antarctica.
4/19/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 51 seconds
Autopsy Technician
An autopsy technician explains the origins of his dark sense of humor and why he wants a career change. He also opens up to Geth about the importance of emotionally detaching during an autopsy, the hardest he’s laughed a work, and how playing guitar helps him unwind. This episode includes graphic talk about autopsy work and mentions of sexual assault. So please keep that in mind before you listen and if you find these topics distressing, you might want to join us next episode instead.
4/12/2022 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 7 seconds
New Job, Dead Dad
A daughter opens up about losing her dad and going through a big career change at the same time. She shares the strange way she got her new job and how it felt to plan a funeral for someone she never really knew.
4/5/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 10 seconds
Monogamish
A woman opens up about being a closeted bisexual during her marriage. She shares with Geth how infertility issues and getting divorced led to coming out as polyamorous. She also discusses having Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and what it’s like being in a throuple.
3/29/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 18 seconds
Clothing Optional Gay Resort (Live from San Francisco)
Where does one put their room key and vax card at a nude resort? Our caller reveals the answer to Geth live from San Francisco. He shares his theory on why older gay men are drawn to Palm Springs. Later on, he tells the bizarre story of temporarily losing his hearing and sense of balance. He also talks about losing his brother to addiction, making his friend go to rehab, and helps an audience member choose their next tattoo.
3/22/2022 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 58 seconds
Hiked the Appalachian Trail
A man discusses the biggest challenges of hiking the trail and the scariest thing of all: Lyme disease. He describes legendary (and sometimes creepy) people known along the trail including the shirtless “hammer man” and the hospitality of “trail angels.” He also shares a story with Geth about a stranger’s kindness and how it gave him the strength to go on.
3/15/2022 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 39 seconds
Divorced at 25
A young woman describes living life backwards after buying a home at 22 then moving in with roommates post-divorce with her baby. She also opens up to Geth about coming from a family of 8 and the fact that her son is only 1 year younger than her sister.
3/8/2022 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 33 seconds
Warrior Shaman
Years of PTSD nearly destroyed this former Green Beret's life, until he found a new path. He speaks with Geth about the Ayahuasca retreat that changed everything and how he became a shaman. He also shares how he's been helping other veterans cope with trauma and why psychedelics should be more easily accessible.
3/1/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 24 seconds
First Burp, First Kid (Live From Omaha)
Geth speaks with a new dad who recently got surgery to help him burp. Will the live crowd in Omaha get to hear the caller belch? Only time will tell. He and Chris also talk about favorite sodas, like/dislike of plant-based meat, and the sudden urge to protect your kid once they’re born.
2/22/2022 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 52 seconds
Dating and Disabled
A woman with cerebral palsy and a dark sense of humor tells the story of how her fiancé proposed. She discusses dating as a disabled person, "chair chasers", and why laughing is so important. She also bonds with Geth over a shared dislike of "Cotton Eyed Joe." Plus, more of Chris' favorite Valentine’s Day stories submitted by B/A listeners.
2/15/2022 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 25 seconds
Engaged, But In Love With Someone Else
In honor of Valentine's Day, we're releasing some funny, heartwarming, heartbreaking episodes about dating and romance. Either she gets married in 3 weeks or disappoints 160 Greek people. A woman opens up about having feelings for someone else and the fact that she has a baby with her fiancé. Plus, check out some of Geth’s favorite Valentine’s Day stories submitted by B/A listeners.
2/8/2022 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 45 seconds
I'm a Sugar Baby
A graduate student getting her PhD in engineering talks about joining a sugar baby website to help pay for school. She speaks with Geth about how some of her clients just want companionship and what it was like living in “The Villages” for 6 months during the pandemic with her grandparents.
2/1/2022 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds
Bonus: Dad On Pills
We're bringing you a special bonus release of Chris Gethard's new audiobook Dad On Pills! This book is about Geth's relationship with being a dad coupled with his relationship with being mentally ill, growing up in the '80s/'90s, and so much more. You can listen to it for free by signing up at try.scribd.com/gethard60.
1/28/2022 • 16 minutes, 3 seconds
Traditional Mexican Parents
Turning 21, leaving home, and a terrible secret. A young woman opens up to Geth about her mother’s reaction to a traumatic event that caused a rift between them.
1/25/2022 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 17 seconds
Bread-sexual (Live From Rochester)
Sex or a “wee piece of toast?” A Brit opens up to Geth about being less horny during the pandemic and more into hobbies. She shares her love of bread and somehow it gets sexual. They also find commonality between the Rochester garbage plate and an English Breakfast.
1/18/2022 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 3 seconds
Met My Fiancé at Her Wedding
She went from notarizing her now fiancé’s divorce papers to falling in love. A woman shares with Geth the story of meeting her partner and getting past their 13 year age difference.
1/11/2022 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 1 second
300 Episodes, 300 Minutes
On the 300th episode of Beautiful/Anonymous, Chris stays on the line for 5 hours. The only rule? The caller decides when it's time to hang up. Geth speaks with a Gen Z guy about his complicated love triangle and catches up with a woman he met in an AOL chat room 20 years ago.
1/4/2022 • 5 hours, 4 minutes, 30 seconds
2022 New Year's Resolutions
From having more sex to writing a musical to leaving an abusive marriage, this year’s callers have some big goals for 2022. Geth also talks with someone who really doesn’t like bananas and a woman calls in from her bubble bath.
12/28/2021 • 1 hour, 54 minutes, 34 seconds
Borderline Caricature of an Alaskan
Building an airstrip, fighting bears, and grieving in the wilderness of Alaska. A woman tells Geth about life in her home state and about hiking to the middle of nowhere in the freezing cold after her dad passed away.
12/21/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 7 seconds
Ex-Husband Was A Pastor
Pregnant at 16, a whirlwind marriage, and exorcisms. A woman describes the disturbing practices her ex performed to “fix” someone’s mental illness. She also opens up to Geth about what it was like getting divorced from a pastor.
12/14/2021 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 23 seconds
Adopting as a Trans Person
A trans man opens up about having to use his dead name on legal documents and other complexities of adopting as a trans person. He also talks about his love of video games and what it's like being married to a Wiccan.
12/7/2021 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 24 seconds
Sexual Dungeons and Dragons
Robots and superheroes and spanking, oh my! A 'NiteFlirt' phone sex operator talks about her job and diverse group of clients. Later on, Geth gets a taste of her phone flirt style with a little role play.
11/30/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 23 seconds
Frog Bog and A Porn Closet
A former carny talks about the time she taught a former president how to play Frog Bog. She also shares other crazy job stories with Geth including working for a tech company that had a giant porn closet.
11/23/2021 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 26 seconds
Mom Fell In Love With a Scam Artist
A daughter tells Geth the story of a scam artist who manipulated her mother. She gets into the details of how this young man took advantage of many other divorced women.
11/16/2021 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 35 seconds
Crisis Hotline Worker
Chris speaks with a licensed therapist about what it’s like talking people through a crisis and how their jobs overlap. They also get into the strange joys of having kids and the weird things that they do learning boundaries.
11/9/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 57 seconds
Met My Husband on Tinder
A woman opens up about going from Tinder match to marriage. She and Geth also discuss body positivity and geek out over marching band.
11/2/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 27 seconds
Honor Among The Barbers Of Kansas (Live From Philly)
Live from Philly, it's Beautiful Anonymous! A barber and middle school football coach reveals the weirdest thing someone said to him in the chair. He also shares haircut horror stories and his admiration for Geth's wardrobe.
10/26/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 41 seconds
Got a Squatter
A young woman let someone stay at her place, and now he won’t leave. She opens up to Geth about her social anxiety and an affair with a married man.
10/19/2021 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 53 seconds
Most Isolated City In The World
Sunshine, self-made billionaires, and almost no COVID-19 cases. A woman from Perth, Australia lists the many reasons Geth should come visit her hometown. She also tells the story of getting locked out of her house by toddlers.
10/12/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 35 seconds
Used To Be A Monk
A former monk now mailman talks about why he joined the monastery and why he left. He and Geth also discuss the complicated history of the Catholic Church and memorable moments during his time as a monk.
10/5/2021 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 26 seconds
An Italian Living In The US
Self deprecation, immigration, and pizza. A woman from Italy talks to Geth about coming to America and NYC’s roots to pizza. She also explains why she thinks people in her country are more self deprecating than Americans.
9/28/2021 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 19 seconds
Famous In Richmond
Stay in Richmond or move to New York? A guy working for his family's meat business contemplates whether he should move for law school. He also shares with Geth how he became friends with his childhood bully.
9/21/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 25 seconds
Selling Sex Toys in Vegas
Ben Wa Balls and steel dildos and butt stuff, oh my! Geth talks with a sex toy designer living in Vegas. They also discuss how one gets into designing and selling sex toys.
9/14/2021 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 4 seconds
Psychiatric Nurse
A psychiatric nurse opens up to Geth about how the pandemic has affected people mentally and the uptick in patients she's seen. She also shares what she loves about her job despite the challenges.
9/7/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 36 seconds
The Funeral Industry vs. Disneyland
A former funeral director explains why she quit during the pandemic. She also talks to Geth about the surprising similarities between the funeral industry and her previous gig working at Disneyland.
8/31/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 37 seconds
A Real Life Rom-Com
She’s in Canada and he's in Australia. They haven't seen each other in months, but they're about to be married. A bride-to-be tells Geth how she found love in Tuscany.
8/24/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 54 seconds
Quit My Job, Now I Sell Crossbows
Years of sexism at her corporate job led this thirty-something woman to quit and become a Twitch streamer. She also started selling crossbows and finds it invigorating.
8/17/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 19 seconds
Porno Disco Parties
Oil wrestling with lube, drugs, and "porno disco" themed parties. A caller shares with Geth what it's been like living in a Victorian mansion with 13 people.
8/10/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 52 seconds
Losing DACA
A young woman opens up to Geth about losing her DACA status. She also shares what it's been like for her family and trying to stay under the radar.
8/3/2021 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 50 seconds
Diagnosed with Parkinson's At 30
A woman with Parkinson's talks about how getting brain surgery changed her life. She also educates Geth on the definition of masking and how medical marijuana has helped her. We decided to make a special t-shirt in honor of today's caller. Go to Podswag.com/beautiful to grab your new favorite shirt, available in blue or red. All proceeds will be donated to The Michael J. Fox Foundation.
7/27/2021 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 46 seconds
Hippie Dippie Public Speaking Consultant
A former Peace Corps volunteer explains to Geth what being a public speaking coach for Reiki healers and dentists entails. She also opens up about the strange journey that led to her current role.
7/20/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 44 seconds
A Posh Liver Transplant
The 'Posh Perspective' caller updates Geth on a recent liver transplant. She talks about the difficulty of processing that someone had to die for her to survive. Her girlfriend also shares what the experience was like advocating for a loved one in the hospital.
7/13/2021 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 32 seconds
Dating During COVID
What’s it like to fall in love during lockdown? A thirtysomething aspiring gardener shares the pros and cons of dating during the pandemic. He also opens up to Geth about his journey to body positivity as “the big guy.”
7/6/2021 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 22 seconds
Odd Duck Trucker
The deregulation of the US trucking industry led to major changes including the decline of unions over the last few decades. A Minnesotan truck driver tells Geth about his experience, how immigrant truck drivers are being taken advantage of, and how he feels as a liberal "odd duck trucker.
6/29/2021 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 9 seconds
It Happened For A Reason
A mom calls in from the hospital after her baby’s abdominal surgery. She opens up to Geth about the ups and downs of having 2 kids with the same genetic condition.
6/22/2021 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 3 seconds
Marijuana Mansion
A stand up comedian reveals to Geth why her AA group calls her “the real Mrs. Maisel.” She also talks about her time in the “marijuanna mansion” and what it’s like hanging out with hard partying symphony musicians.
6/15/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 49 seconds
Love Addict
A woman opens up to Geth about being a love addict and why it's different from sex addiction. She also talks about her struggle with only being interested in unavailable men.
6/8/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 1 second
Mr. Postman
Geth finds out whether dogs actually dislike postal delivery workers from an actual mailman. The postman also opens up about his dreams of becoming a chef and the weirdness of having to deliver penis pumps.
6/1/2021 • 1 hour, 39 seconds
Native American Biological Engineer
A young woman opens up to Geth about having imposter syndrome as one of the few WOC biological engineering students in her program. She also describes being rejected by NASA and her dream of growing plants in space.
5/25/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 30 seconds
Saved By The Meow
A man opens up to Geth about being abused by a family member. It's a difficult conversation, but his meowing cat has strangely good therapeutic timing. If you've been affected by sexual violence or abuse, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN. Call 24/7: 800-656-HOPE
5/18/2021 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 18 seconds
The Real Netherlands
A Dutch woman shares her feelings about being from a “progressive country” and her thoughts on the United States. She also opens up about the difficulty of losing her dad to an illness that spanned 12 years.
5/11/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 29 seconds
Apple Watch Saved My Life
A 52 year old woman explains how her Apple Watch alerted her to a serious health issue. She also opens up to Geth about how she became such a positive person despite a difficult childhood in Colombia.
5/4/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes
Black Teacher In Minneapolis
A teacher from Minneapolis opens up about what life in his hometown has been like since the murder of George Floyd. He also shares with Geth what he thinks others can do to combat systemic racism.
4/27/2021 • 48 minutes, 43 seconds
27, Dating A 53 Year Old
A woman shares what it’s been like dating a man almost twice her age. She also talks about what led to her making it to a 30 under 30 list.
4/20/2021 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 48 seconds
Introducing Real Good
Hello Beautiful/Anonymous fans! Enjoy this episode of a new show that focuses on systematic equality. This episode features an interview with the Director of the Black Mental Health Alliance
4/16/2021 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 33 seconds
Moving To Another Country
A teacher talks to Geth about moving out of the country for a new position. She also shares what it was like getting married during lockdown and how spite can be motivating.
4/13/2021 • 1 hour, 57 seconds
I'm A Surrogate: Part 2
A couple months after speaking with a surrogate, Geth follows up with her because she had some unfortunate news. They speak frankly about a difficult, taboo subject but express an enduring hopefulness for the future. Listen to part 1 here.
4/9/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 11 seconds
I'm A Surrogate
A surrogate explains why having a baby for someone else is so meaningful to her. She and Geth also get into the difficulty of infertility.
4/6/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 37 seconds
Chinese American Adoptee
A Chinese American woman shares her thoughts on the uptick in violence against Asians in the U.S. She also talks with Geth about what it’s like having white, adoptive parents, and the layer of complexity it adds to the topic of race. Check out our show and many hilarious other pods featured on Stitchers first ever Comedy week! In app or at Stitcherapp.com/comedy
3/30/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 1 second
Beautiful Shorties: One Year Later
A 19 year old looks back at her progress on the one year anniversary of her suicide attempt. She also talks with Geth about how her viral TikTok video led to successfully selling her art online.
3/26/2021 • 33 minutes
Analyze My Dreams
A woman who loves working at a psychiatric hospital shares her dream journal with Geth and he loosely analyzes them.
3/23/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 31 seconds
Let's Talk About Sex
A sex educator shares her research on sexless marriages and why scheduling sex is actually a good idea. She also tells Geth what got her love life going again after being married for 20 years.
3/16/2021 • 1 hour, 27 minutes, 43 seconds
Beautiful Shorties: 72 Year Old Life Review
From Woodstock to raising 3 kids as a single mom to switching careers, a retired woman in lockdown has got a lot of stories to tell and so much more life to live.
3/12/2021 • 36 minutes, 28 seconds
Hallucinating Gremlins
A former vet talks to Geth about channeling his experiences in the military into comedy. He also shares his thoughts on the rise of militias in the United States and why he hates knitting.
3/9/2021 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 27 seconds
Choose Love Everyday
A young woman opens up to Geth about falling asleep while breastfeeding and losing her baby. She theorizes about how much her being black had to do with being charged with manslaughter after the tragic event.
3/2/2021 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 47 seconds
Beautiful Shorties: Mental Health Researcher
A woman studying the effects of poverty on the mental health of low income mothers shares what she's learned. She also opens up to Geth about her struggles with depression and how Ketamine treatments changed her life.
2/26/2021 • 34 minutes, 45 seconds
Unhoused
A woman shares how she went from being unhoused to getting her own place. She also educates Geth on day to day life as an unhoused person and how it changed her political views.
2/23/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 8 seconds
Widower Remarried
A psychotherapist in Israel talks to Geth about losing his first wife and how it opened his heart for another love. He also discusses getting remarried, being an older parent, and using his life as a tool in therapy.
2/16/2021 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 41 seconds
Beautiful Shorties: Trans Woman In The Bible Belt
A trans woman speaks with Geth about the secret joys of transitioning and what happened when she came out to her conservative, Southern Baptist family.
2/12/2021 • 35 minutes, 3 seconds
My Son Is Deaf
A mom opens up to Geth about her unique hearing condition and raising a deaf son. She also talks about his career as a professional gamer.
2/9/2021 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 13 seconds
My Friend Took Their Own Life
A young woman opens up about her best friend's suicide and the emotional toll it's taken on her. If you're thinking about suicide, are worried about a loved one, or just need emotional support, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
2/2/2021 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 15 seconds
Bonus: New Jersey Is The World
We're bringing you a special bonus release of Chris Gethard's new podcast series New Jersey Is The World! Geth's new project is an umbrella of podcasts exploring, celebrating, and laughing at the culture of America's most ridiculous state. He's gathered a bunch of Jersey guys who grew up together so they can combine forces in their quest to break down all things Jersey. And it also invites you, the public at large, to get involved.
1/28/2021 • 1 hour, 35 minutes, 36 seconds
I'm Narcoleptic And Collapsed During Sex
A woman describes what it's like being narcoleptic with cataplexy. She shares her wildest episodes, including when she's collapsed mid sex and mid laugh.
1/26/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 8 seconds
Gay 1st Generation Chinese American Best Friend
A wildlife biologist has a message for closeted first generation Chinese American boys. He and Geth also chat about the gay volleyball scene, why bats are cool (should Geth get a bat box?!) and nerd out about comic books.
1/19/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 52 seconds
Beautiful Shorties: OnlyFans, Good Sex, & Grilled Cheese
A recently unemployed woman talks to Geth about why she started an OnlyFans account and her complicated relationship with an older man.
1/15/2021 • 43 minutes, 23 seconds
I Was In A Harem
Sex, chores, and pranks. A young woman talks to Geth about her experience dating and living with one guy at the same time as several other women.
1/12/2021 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 7 seconds
Dad Died By Euthanasia
A daughter explains why she supported her father's decision to die by legalized euthanasia. She also opens up to Geth about finding her birth parents and her final wishes for when her time comes.
1/5/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 27 seconds
Beautiful Resolutions for 2021
1 minute, no names, no holds barred. Geth takes 1 minute New Year's resolutions for 2021. Starting a garden, coming out to the family, making the perfect pancake, and many more.
12/29/2020 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 14 seconds
Mrs. Claus Uncensored
A real-life bride of Santa tells Geth all the nitty gritty details, both naughty and nice.
12/22/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 38 seconds
Chicano and Trans
A trans teen explores their Mexican roots, sharing what they've learned about Mexican folk healing. They also discuss coming out as trans to their parents and the healing power of Coca Cola.
12/15/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 27 seconds
Another 39 Year Old Grandma
A recently retired real estate agent chats with Geth about what it's been like teaching her grandson at home and taking care of her dying mother. She also opens up about being a former drug addict and her views on reincarnation.
12/8/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 34 seconds
My Friend Murdered Someone
A woman learns from local news reports that her friend recently murdered someone. She discusses her relationship with him leading up to the murder.
12/1/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 29 seconds
A Pirate's Life
Ahoy, matey! Geth talks to (and sings sea shanties with) a real life present day pirate.
11/24/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes
Everyone Is A Survivor (Tanya from Motor City Mayhem)
Geth chats one on one with Tanya from Motor City Mayhem (episode 187) about the aftermath of the home invasion that left his father dead and brother unable to speak. They discuss coping with ongoing grief, with some laughs along the way.
11/17/2020 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 51 seconds
Beautiful Follow-Ups: Goosey Bumpies (#187 Motor City Mayhem)
Geth catches up with the Motor City Mayhem guys and sees if they've calmed down. He chats with them all together and then one on one to see how they're individually doing. The results are surprisingly heartwarming. Find more Beautiful Follow-Ups plus all of the Beautiful Anonymous archives, completely ad-free, only on Stitcher Premium.
11/13/2020 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 48 seconds
My Husband Cheated With My Best Friend
Religious cults, vehicular manslaughter, and an extra marital affair. This caller has a lot to get off her chest. She also opens up to Geth about the fact that both she and the woman who had an affair with her husband are bisexual.
11/10/2020 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 32 seconds
Groundhog Day
Distract yourself from election forecasting with the original forecasters. A caller introduces Geth to the world of Groundhog Day predictors including Clucksatony Hen and Buck Eyed Chuck.
11/3/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 45 seconds
Campaign Staffer
This congressional campaign staffer is passionate about Democratic politics and trying to help elect Joe Biden. He talks with Geth about punks running for office and explains why every politician should take an improv class.
10/27/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 10 seconds
Get Out (Of The Closet)
A caller opens up to Chris about the struggle to get his black, religious family to accept his same sex, interracial relationship. He also discusses the similarities between ‘Get Out’ and his relationship with his partner’s family.
10/20/2020 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 15 seconds
Ending A Parade of Tragedies
A parade of tragedies, including being sued by her drug addicted mom, defined this caller's early life. After ending codependencies and working to remove herself from chaos, good things started happening to this pregnant mother of twins.
10/13/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 51 seconds
315 Days Without Opiates
An opioid addict in recovery says the drug turned him into the greatest liar in the world. He talks about staying sober, and he and Geth joke about how Gollum from Lord Of The Rings is a metaphor for addiction.
10/6/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes
Fell In Love With A Hobo
A young woman visiting her ex in Berlin opens up to Geth about her relationship with a train hopping hobo. She also reveals how a customer service job led to a surprising diagnosis.
9/29/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 26 seconds
The Orgy Dome
A Burning Man aficionado has a bone to pick with Geth about comments he made regarding the annual event. They get into what goes on at Burning Man and yes, "The Orgy Dome" is exactly what it sounds like.
9/22/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 21 seconds
My Parents Were Psychics
A spanko & emotional nudist tells Geth about being exorcised by her psychic parents and fleeing a commune after one of the members tried to murder her mother.
9/15/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 41 seconds
My Dead Ex Is My Sperm Donor
This caller and her girlfriend are trying to have a baby via IVF in a very unusual way. She tells Geth about the many outcomes that the process could bring, including a scenario where both she and her girlfriend get pregnant.
9/8/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 14 seconds
Syrian Refugee
Her childhood was lost to the brutal civil war in her home country. Now, recently graduated from high school, she tells Geth about fleeing to the United States and the many challenges she's overcome.
9/1/2020 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 30 seconds
A Special Ed Teacher with Autism
A teacher opens up to Chris about how working with autistic children made her seek out her own diagnosis. She also dispels myths about the autism spectrum.
8/25/2020 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 48 seconds
Rescue Mission To America
An Australian woman tells the story of rescuing her daughter from an abusive relationship in the U.S., the resulting legal fight, and ultimately needing to join witness protection.
8/18/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 52 seconds
Caught My Husband With A Sex Worker
A divorcée shares details from the ledger of the 35 men she's dated since her marriage ended and some of them are wild. From hitting on someone else during a date to commitment issues, welcome to the "The Gong Show" dating game.
8/11/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 14 seconds
Math Guy vs. Geth
A doctor of mathematics has a bone to pick with Chris about his dislike of the subject. They get into what schools could be doing differently to teach math and the surprising connections between their chosen fields.
8/4/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 58 seconds
Protesting Magician In Portland
A magician explains why she doesn’t like other magicians and describes what it’s been like attending protests in Portland. She and Chris also unpack her first crush as a kid: Encyclopedia Brown.
7/28/2020 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 45 seconds
A Posh Perspective
A young British woman opens up her experiences with racism in England and provides her perspective on the legacy of colonialism. Also: saving Prince William's life, squirrel fights & the time her mom attacked her girlfriend with ice cream.
7/21/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 26 seconds
Asexual Ex-Conservative Lunchlady
A lunchlady and former conservative tells Geth about how having a miscarriage changed her political views and led to a deeper understanding of her sexuality. Also, is Friday still pizza day??
7/14/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 31 seconds
Introducing California Love
Hello Beautiful/Anonymous fans! Enjoy this episode of a new show from LAist studios, California Love. The show seeks to understand what it means to belong and not belong to the places we are from.
7/9/2020 • 39 minutes, 56 seconds
Stalked By My Ex
A former engineer opens up to Geth about being stalked by her ex-boyfriend and why she decided to become a teacher. She reveals the difficulties of navigating the legal system as a black woman and the struggle to get her ex rehabilitated.
7/7/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 8 seconds
Mexican American Iowan
A recent high school graduate grapples with her dream of becoming a journalist and taking care of her brothers. She and Geth also discuss growing up in Iowa and her experience being sued for calling out a white woman’s racism.
6/30/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 16 seconds
A Bar Star Comes Out, Again
Gay conversion therapy, a failed marriage and finally coming out. A caller tells Geth about his religious upbringing and finding happiness later in life.
6/23/2020 • 1 hour, 2 seconds
Romantic Wrestler
An indie pro wrestler tells Geth about going through a break up during the COVID crisis, proving that guys in the ring need love too.
6/16/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 43 seconds
A Black Woman in America
A caller navigates life as a black woman in America during a historic week of BLM protests. She and Geth also talk about microaggressions, the problem with "all lives matter," and her mother’s death.
6/9/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 2 seconds
Touching Strangers Faces
Going back to work amidst the pandemic is stressful for this cat-owning cosmetologist. She tells Geth her strategies to manage anxiety and gives him some advice involving a hair piece.
5/26/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 5 seconds
Quitting Weed
An all-day-everyday weed smoker considers quitting due to health issues (involving *enormous burps*). She tells Geth what it’s been like starting a new relationship during quarantine.
5/19/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 38 seconds
Native Alaskan in Anchorage
A Native Alaskan talks about life after thyroid cancer and fills Geth in on the music scene in Alaska. You'll never guess what happened when Pitbull performed in Kodiak!
5/12/2020 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 44 seconds
Quarantine Breakup
A trans man talks about what it's like living with his gf post breakup and still sleeping in the same bed. He and Geth discuss masculinity.
5/5/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 23 seconds
Parkour Yoda
Physically conquering mental limitations is the ethos of Parkour according to this young psychology student. What really *is* parkour? Don't trust the click baity facebook posts, trust this guy. He tells Geth how jumping on random stuff helps him clear his mind.
4/28/2020 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 3 seconds
EMT In The Epicenter
The emergency calls are at an all time high but she says "the darkness makes the light seem brighter". Geth helps lighten the mood by talking about the haunted spots in her Long Island hometown and they bond over their shared psych med prescriptions.
4/21/2020 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 31 seconds
My Partner is a Medical Mystery
A young woman describes working as a nanny during quarantine with a toddler while having a sick partner in need of a transplant. She also opens up about almost being kidnapped and what she's looking forward to once lockdown is over.
4/14/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 12 seconds
Don't Say The C Word
Geth did something a little different. 75 phones calls, 2.5 hours. No names. No mention of Coronavirus. Chris talks to new dads, a lady with a fish named Slim Shady, someone with extensive knowledge of Harry Truman, a woman with an affinity for abandoned shopping carts, and many more.
4/10/2020 • 2 hours, 29 minutes, 14 seconds
How To Date A Sketch Comedian
Stuck at home under lockdown with her parents, an art student calls in and talks to Gethard about how coronavirus has affected their lives so far. Geth gives advice on dating a sketch comedian and she opens up about her experience dating a former child actor.
4/7/2020 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 46 seconds
Union Worker vs. Robot Dog Uprising
Fired from his union position, this guy turned to gig economy jobs in the midst of coronavirus. Things are serious right now, but Geth still gets a chance to find out if he ever steals a jalapeno popper and they muse about a future filled with robot dogs
3/31/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 45 seconds
London Is Savage (in Quarantine)
An Englishwoman is passing the time while self-isolating with a dry cough. She and Chris discuss Coronavirus in England and what it's like growing up with a bipolar mom. She also reveals her surprising connection to The Great British Bake Off.
3/24/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 23 seconds
Love In The Time Of Coronavirus
An American living in China describes what it was like living with his other half's entire family for 3 weeks during the Coronavirus. He also shares the surprisingly romantic story of meeting his wife.
3/17/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 39 seconds
My Girlfriend Cheated, I Got A Dog
An extremely optimistic guy calls in to talk about how he got over his cheating ex by getting a dog, living in a tiny house, hopping freight trains and more. Plus, Chris shares what he’s learned on the cusp of turning forty.
3/10/2020 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 32 seconds
I'm The Best Lyft Driver
A former teen mom found happiness after a car wreck by becoming a Lyft driver. She also reveals a surprising connection to Chris.
3/3/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 29 seconds
Hit By A Truck
Getting hit by a semi truck at work was only the beginning of this guy’s problems. With his future in doubt, he decided to buy his very own 10 acres.
2/25/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 47 seconds
Phone Call Hole In One
Does having an identical twin make you more competitive? This young, female athlete tells Geth about focusing her competitive twin energy into golf, while opening up about dealing with anxiety, politics, her sexuality, and twin "switcharoo" high jinks.
2/18/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 45 seconds
An Octopus Living in Baltimore
A Baltimorean waxes nostalgic about his hometown and talks about his near fatal encounter with a freight elevator. Things take an interesting turn when the conversation turns to toxic masculinity.
2/11/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 32 seconds
Dry Eyes But 2020 Vision
A Gen Z-er (or zoomer!) unpacks the complexities of being mixed race, her mom's secret pill business, why bird spit is a delicacy, and what it's like growing up in the age of climate change. This episode is brought to you by Truly Grass Fed (www.trulygrassfed.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Joybird (www.joybirdcom/beautiful25).
2/4/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 28 seconds
200.5 Bonus: Two Hundred Things I've Learned From Beautiful/Anonymous
In celebration of the 200th episode, Chris shares 200 lessons he’s learned from Beautiful/Anonymous, ranging from heartbreaking to hilarious.
1/31/2020 • 37 minutes, 59 seconds
Citizen Of The World
A guy from the Deep South tells Chris some wild travel stories, and about the time he got hit by a car inside of a Waffle House. This episode is brought to you by Teladoc (www.teladoc.com/stories) and Ritual (www.ritual.com/stories).
1/28/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 43 seconds
Bigot Chicken
In the drive thru line to get some fast food chicken, this caller tells Geth about dealing with the aftermath of her husband’s psychotic break. This episode is brought to you by Teladoc (www.teladoc.com/stories).
1/21/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 30 seconds
Punky Brewster Saves The World
A caller in London talks to Geth about British & European politics, noting that there might be a problem with political parties founded by comedians. This episode is brought to you by You’re Not Listening, Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com), Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories), and Teladoc (www.teladoc.com/stories).
1/14/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 7 seconds
Kinda Famous Secret Half Brother
This caller found out later in life that her dad isn’t her biological father. The story involves Gethard in a way you would never expect. This episode is brought to you by You’re Not Listening, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Ritual (www.ritual.com/stories).
1/7/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 46 seconds
Beautiful Resolutions for 2020
Listeners (including a surprising number of aspiring novelists) called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Geth their goals, hopes and plans for 2020. This episode is brought to you by Joybird.
12/31/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 9 seconds
Dredging It Up Again
Years ago, this caller dropped their phone while on the line with Chris and the call was lost forever. They finally re-connect and discuss passing for cis, family, masculinity and the musical Hamilton. This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames (www.auraframes.com/stories).
12/24/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 7 seconds
You Can Go Back To Your Seat Now, Thanks
“It takes a toll on you quickly.” On her 22nd birthday, a former model who became a flight attendant talks to Gethard about her old career (scouted at a Jonas Brothers concert) and her new career (don’t go barefoot into the airplane bathroom). This episode is brought to you by Morgan & Morgan (www.forthepeople.com/stories), Aura Frames (www.auraframes.com/stories), Joybird (www.joybird.com/beautiful25), and Native deodorant (www.nativedeodorant.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
12/17/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 43 seconds
Philosopher Chef
Cocaine in kitchens, the widespread impact of a South Park episode on Yelp and review culture. A chef brings Geth behind the scenes of restaurant kitchens and then gets deep and reflective. This episode is brought to you by Bayer, Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: STORIES), Morgan & Morgan (www.forthepeople.com/stories), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).
12/10/2019 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 20 seconds
I Did Poopy & I Know Calculus
What’s it like to be a public school teacher today? Gethard finds out from a fellow New Jerseyite. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Natural Disasters (www.parcast.com/naturaldisasters), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/beautiful).
12/3/2019 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 15 seconds
Foster To Adopt
A parent talks about her family’s journey with foster care, adoption & a really long walk in Spain. This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames (www.auraframes.com/stories), Native Deodorant (www.nativedeodorant.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Morgan & Morgan (www.forthepeople.com/stories).
11/26/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 26 seconds
Chill (with Justifiable Rage)
In her work as a community organizer, this caller loves listening to other people’s stories and asking tough questions. She tells her story and it includes a lot of struggles particularly with her father and his alcoholism including things like a warrant for murder and being surveilled by the State Police. This episode is brought to you by Morgan & Morgan (www.forthepeople.com/stories), Teladoc (www.teladoc.com/stories), Joybird (www.joybird.com/beautiful25), and Aura Frames (www.auraframes.com/stories).
11/19/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 53 seconds
Polyamorous Group Real Estate
A caller is trying to get a mortgage to buy a duplex with a big group of polyamorous friends and family in Southern Maine. This episode is brought to you by Teladoc (www.teladoc.com/stories), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).
11/12/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 14 seconds
Aspiring Pro Wrestler
Geth loves pro wrestling. This caller does too, and so much that he’s trying to make it in that world. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: STORIES), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/beautiful), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL)
11/5/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 21 seconds
Motor City Mayhem (Murdered Dads)
Strip clubs, pickles and dad’s getting murdered, that’s what these bros bond over. In one of the most chaotic episodes ever, two callers are on the phone thousands of miles away while their buddy joins Gethard on stage at Ant Hall in Detroit! This episode is brought to you by Bayer, Candid Co (www.candidco.com/stories code: STORIES), and Joybird (www.joybird.com/beautiful25 code: BEAUTIFUL25).
10/29/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 24 seconds
Ayahuasca
A committed follower of Santo Daime, a Brazilian religion and spiritual tradition, tells Gethard about her many (many, many, many) experiences with Ayahuasca.
10/21/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 39 seconds
I Love You, Dad
On the first anniversary of her dad passing away, this week’s caller spoke to Gethard about how cool her dad was and how her family grieved the loss. Meanwhile, she provides an explainer on British culture and accents that leads to Geth’s laughable take at cockney. This episode is brought to you by Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES), Teladoc (www.teladoc.com/stories), and Bayer.
10/15/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 27 seconds
Traffic
Working at a residential program to help girls who have been trafficked or are at high risk, a caller tells Geth about how her job is the best thing that’s ever happened to her. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/beautiful), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful).
10/8/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds
Bad Luck Johnny
This guy has had some really bad luck lately but he’s handling it as best as he can. Plus: epic dad stories involving: the mafia, drug busts & kidnappings. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL) and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: STORIES).
10/1/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 29 seconds
The Raccoon Roommate
An illegal (rescued) pet raccoon who eats cap’n crunch out of a shoe, Al-Anon, society, sex, working through trauma. This episode is brought to you by Joybird (www.joybird.com/beautiful25 code: BEAUTIFUL25), Candid Co (www.candidco.com/stories code: STORIES), and Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
9/24/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 55 seconds
Piles of Walking Goop
This young Scottish caller has a checklist of things to discuss, including the question: Are Scottish people comfortable with depressing comedy because it rains a lot or are they just born a bit sad? This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: STORIES), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful).
9/17/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 58 seconds
Jammers vs. Blockers
Things just kinda suck at this point in life, but this caller found sanctuary in roller derby. This episode is brought to you by Fruit of the Loom (www.fruit.com code: STORIES), Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Circle Home Plus (www.meetcircle.com/beautiful code: beautiful), and White Castle (www.whitecastle.com/stories).
9/10/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 39 seconds
The Size of a Cantaloupe
This caller gives listeners a PSA: go to the doctor! She's managed to maintain an inspiringly positive disposition even after what she thought was just bloating turned out to be something much more serious. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Fruit of the Loom (www.fruit.com code: STORIES), White Castle, Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/beautiful), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
9/3/2019 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 16 seconds
Partner In Prison
Some addictions don’t get discussed that often. A caller talks about sex and love addicts anonymous and discusses the need to save oneself before trying to save the world. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet Podcast, White Castle (www.whitecastle.com/stories), and Joybird (www.joybird.com/beautiful25 code: BEAUTIFUL25).
8/27/2019 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 47 seconds
A True (Modern) Love Story
Celebrating her first birthday with friends, family & her girlfriend after 3 years in a mental health treatment center, a caller talks to Geth about falling in love inside the facility. This episode is brought to you by Untitled Dad Project Podcast, ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and White Castle (www.whitecastle.com/STORIES).
8/20/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 34 seconds
The Choctaw & Irish Connection
Having lived all over the world, a member of the Choctaw Tribe talks to Geth about finding a sense of belonging when visiting home from abroad. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Circle (www.meetcircle.com/beautiful code: beautiful), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).
8/13/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 23 seconds
Fighting Through Life
Finding empowerment over past trauma through martial arts. This caller is a true badass. This episode is brought to you by Life is Good Ping Podcast, Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
8/6/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 46 seconds
The Squirrel and the Giraffe
Hearing other people talk about themselves makes this caller uncomfortable. "It makes me cringe," he says, "being on the show is a terrible idea." Will this be Chris' second-ever hang up, or will the caller stay on the line to reveal what about human interaction freaks him out. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL code: BEAUTIFUL), and Circle (www.meetcircle.com/beautiful code: beautiful).
7/30/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes
I Found Closure
A caller opens up about a stigmatized condition and tells Geth about finding closure to a chapter of her life after hearing an old friend on Beautiful Anonymous. This episode is brought to you by Milkwaukee Tourism (www.visitmilwaukee.org/plan), Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL code: BEAUTIFUL), Hamama (www.hamama.com code: STORIES), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: STORIES).
7/23/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 51 seconds
Babysitting (Drunk People)
A bartender tells wild stories (murder!), how to get free stuff (drinks and rides home). Also, the found family & new home she’s established with the regulars. Plus, Caleb Gethard makes his podcast debut. This episode is brought to you by Sword of Trust (www.swordoftrust.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Hamama (www.hamama.com code: STORIES), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).
7/16/2019 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 37 seconds
I’ve Never Told Anyone
A college student home for the summer, sitting on a living room floor with dog on lap, talks to Geth about an eating disorder that started in high school. This episode is brought to you by Life is Good Ping Podcast, ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruier.com/BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
7/9/2019 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 53 seconds
No Guide Book to Grief
Planning a posh goth Halloween wedding, taking care of a 3 legged cat and processing grief after the death of a family member who had been hiding big secrets, this British caller prompts Geth to try bring the words crikey & blimey across the pond.
7/2/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 21 seconds
The Raccoon Incident
An online slang dictionary editor and vicious rabid animal attack survivor who had too much cold brew and ritalin talks to Geth about dealing with ferocious and heinous things. This episode is brought to you by Honey (www.honey.com/stories).
6/25/2019 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 55 seconds
Clinical Psychologist
A psychologist talks about the emotional toll of tough conversations, selflessness vs. selfishness & Geth asks: have you ever had to step out mid session because you had to pee or poo? This episode is brought to you by Milwaukee Tourism (www.visitmilwaukee.org/plan), Life is Good Ping Podcast, Honey (www.honey.com/stories), and Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL).
6/18/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 41 seconds
Go With The Flow
Geth gets a peek into the chaotic life of a stay at home dad with 3 kids, a 4th on the way, and a daughter in the hospital. This episode is brought to you by The Life is Good Ping Podcast, Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL).
6/11/2019 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 38 seconds
The Ultimate Bad Roommate Story
Recently declared PTSD free, a caller is interrupted by a cute little mouse while telling Geth about being emotionally and psychologically manipulated by someone very close to her. This episode is brought to you by Family Ghosts Podcast, Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
6/4/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 49 seconds
Life Is Weird
A caller tells Geth what it’s like to be a young, single, punk rock mom. This episode is brought to you by Airbnb Experiences (www.airbnb.com/experiences), The Skimm (www.theskimm.com/STORIES), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
5/28/2019 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 48 seconds
The Cuckoo’s Nest
Suffering from a physical injury from working too much & too hard, this week’s caller takes a break from building sets to get Geth excited about theme restaurants (Mars 2112, Jekyll & Hyde...Medieval Times!). This episode is brought to you by Oh My Gut (www.ohmygut.info/podcast), The Skimm (www.theskimm.com/STORIES), Aura Frames (www.auraframes.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL).
5/21/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds
More Alike Than Different
You don’t want to mess with a punk rock mom! Geth talks to a proud mother about how lucky she is to have a very unique daughter. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Aura Frames (www.auraframes.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), The Skimm (www.theskimm.com/STORIES), and Stop Doing That Shit.
5/14/2019 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 45 seconds
The Adventures of Glandon Oakfoot
You don’t really know someone’s complex, warped brain until they’ve been your Dungeon Master. For this bonus episode, a caller with lots of D.M. experience guides Glandon Oakfoot, Jomar Salveston and Tyrone The Terrible on a vital quest.
5/10/2019 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 56 seconds
A Hero's Journey
A screaming cat with a rubber band around it’s head, Dungeons & Dragons, and an emergency suicide intervention road trip. This caller hasn’t slept in days because she recently leapt in her car to go help someone she’d never even met in person. This episode is brought to you by The Skimm (www.theskimm.com/STORIES), ProFlowers (www.proflowers.com code: STORIES), and Oh My Gut (www.ohmygut.info/PODCAST).
5/7/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 29 seconds
Sky Full of Ghosts
A past caller who’s made strides in living with grief, learning to tell her story and finding a path of acceptance catches up with Gethard in studio (no phones!). They ask: Are we living in a simulation? What’s dark matter? What type of scientist parties the hardest? This episode is brought to yo by ProFlowers (www.proflowers.com code: STORIES), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
4/30/2019 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 11 seconds
Kaleidoscope of Danger
Calling from a country described as filled with cognitive dissonance and very passionate people, this caller provides Geth a powerful portrait of her country, talking about LGBTQ rights & the most dangerous karaoke song ever. Plus, a very important request for whenever you talk to someone at a call center. This episode is brought to you by Vrbo, Aura Frames (www.auraframes.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL).
4/23/2019 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 20 seconds
Called Once, Listened Never
A guy who has never even listened to this podcast talks to Gethard about a bunch of stuff for an hour. This episode is brought to you by Vrbo, Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL), Aura Frames, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
4/16/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 52 seconds
Broke In The USA
Living in New Jersey and hating it, the gig economy and trying to get by being broke in the USA are on this caller’s mind. This episode is brought to you by Vrbo and Bombas.
4/9/2019 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 7 seconds
Porn, Drugs, Murder & Learning To Love
Kidnapping, murder, sex, cocaine, ketamine and porn. This caller’s family is at the center of a true crime story. She tells Geth about how she’s suffered on her journey to learn how to be loving. This episode is brought to you by Vrbo app and Madison Reed (www.madison-reed.com code: PEOPLE).
4/2/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 5 seconds
Episode 1: Harry’s Aussie Best Friend
New host Harry Nelson takes his first of many successful calls. He gets a caller from Australia on the line and talks about America, but also the writing process, the history of First Nations’ people, and why he’s already a better host than Chris Gethard ever was.
4/1/2019 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 59 seconds
Hold My Caipirinha
Gethard heard he has a cult following in Brazil, so this week the line was open to Brazilian numbers only. Immigration issues, education and social work are on the caller’s mind. She also opens up about sexual assault and abuse. This episode is brought to yo by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Drop (https://b.ewd.io/Beautiful).
3/26/2019 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 53 seconds
Jetmouth
While smoking a bowl in his garage, a stay at home dad talks to Gethard about parenting. They share stories about protective dad instincts and recognizing mistakes. This episode is brought to you by Neou Fitness (www.fitness.com code: STORIES), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL).
3/19/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 7 seconds
My Dad Owns A Strip Club
A few years ago, this caller took a job working at her dad’s strip club. There were duffel bags full of cash and other shady stuff. She thought showing tolerance for her father’s demons might help him understand her own, but things didn’t turn out as expected. This episode is brought to you by Drop (https://b.ewd.io/Beautiful).
3/12/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 24 seconds
Car Crash
Years later, this caller still hears the sounds of the tragic car accident he survived. He tells Geth how he won’t let the trauma of the crash revive the anxiety he overcame in his younger days. They also talk about an internet dating experience that turned into something like a Black Mirror episode. This episode is brought to you by OkCupid, eero (www.eero.com/BEAUTIFUL code: BEAUTIFUL), and Dexter Guff is Smarter Than You podcast.
3/5/2019 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 43 seconds
Love At First [blank]
A blind caller tells Geth his touching internet-era love story & explains why he considers himself a visual learner. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Dexter Guff is Smarter Than You podcast.
2/26/2019 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 35 seconds
The King of Silver Linings
A stress-free 34 year old who loves what he does for a living has to decide what to eat for lunch. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL).
2/19/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 58 seconds
Meta Millennial
A social media manager slash graphic designer pitches her podcast & gives Gethard instagram advice. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon, Calm (www.calm.com/beautiful), OkCupid, and Terrible, Thanks for Asking podcast.
2/12/2019 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 35 seconds
RINO
Raised by liberals, after becoming a mom as a teenager, this caller’s politics shifted. Some would now call her a “Republican in name only” or a “compromising conservative,” but she disagrees. Her compelling life story is a jumping off point to search for a little common ground with Geth. This episode is brought to you by OKCupid and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
2/5/2019 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 50 seconds
In Loving Arms
This episode includes: a double-headed red dildo, binders full of sperm, epilepsy, addiction & rehab. But most importantly, it’s about an inspiring mom who’s been through a whole heck of a lot to support and protect her family. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL) and eero (www.eero.com/BEAUTIFUL code: BEAUTIFUL).
1/29/2019 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 52 seconds
Crying Into My Boba
Too many edibles. A missing sister. Paranoia. Depersonalization & derealization. This week’s caller had a tough 2018, but with therapy and treatment, she’s conquering one thing at a time. This episode is brought to you by Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Calm (www.calm.com/BEAUTIFUL).
1/22/2019 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 22 seconds
American Ex-Pat & Berlin Go-Between
A caller in Berlin connects Geth with someone in Finland who happens to be from Oklahoma. Should Geth move to Finland? An American ex-pat helps Geth decide. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: STORIES), Simple Contacts (www.simplecontacts.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
1/15/2019 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 5 seconds
My First Job Interview Ever
In 90 minutes, a graphic design student will have her first-ever job interview. Luckily, Gethard is on the phone to help her get calmed down and psyched up.
1/8/2019 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 5 seconds
Beautiful Follow-Ups: Love Goes On (#69 - Love Is Everywhere)
In June 2017, a mother of 5 spent an hour talking to Chris while in a waiting room, about to hear life or death test results from her daughter’s oncologist. A year later, she tells Chris that all her daughter wants is for her and her family to keep living life, to know it’s okay to be happy and to fight to keep her message, Love Is Everywhere, alive. Find more Beautiful Follow-Ups plus all of the Beautiful Anonymous archives, completely ad-free, only on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com/stories and use promo code 'STORIES'.
1/3/2019 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 24 seconds
144.5 Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions for 2019
It’s time for the annual Beautiful Anonymous New Year’s resolutions episode. Listeners (and a couple special guests) called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Geth their goals, hopes and plans for 2019.
1/1/2019 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 6 seconds
Queer Feminist Pagan Yuletide
Coming out of the closet to her family was this caller’s New Year’s resolution for 2018. As the year comes to close, she tells Geth whether she achieved the goal. One thing she definitely accomplished: getting her Trump-supporting neighbor to help her hang a pride flag. This episode is brought to you by Palm (www.palm.com), Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com), and Calm (www.calm.com/beautiful).
12/25/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 36 seconds
28-Year-Old College Student
A real-life Frank The Tank living with hard-partying 18-21 year old college kids is studying geosciences with the goal of one day improving global water supplies. He’s struggled with some mental health issues, which has helped him provide guidance to his younger peers but he’s also learned a lot from them. The phone signal is a little crunchy at times but the phone itself has an origin story that makes it all worth it. This episode is brought to you by Welcome to Marwen, Palm (www.palm.com), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), Stitch Fix (www.stitchfix.com/STORIES), Kopari’s Coconut Deodorant (www.koparibeauty.com/BEAUTIFUL).
12/18/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 24 seconds
A Bridge Between Humans
Raised in Japan, this week’s guest moved to Canada because of the freedom and culture of openness. Hardly able to speak the language, she now works a job where she literally helps people speak for themselves in difficult situations. Gethard met up with her and recorded this just outside of an acoustically perfect concert hall in a noisy Toronto park. This episode is brought to you by Welcome to Marwen, Fruit of the Loom (www.fruit.com code: STORIES), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.com, and Caffe Monster.
12/11/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 26 seconds
Gay Mormon
Imagine if your mom found out you were getting married because she saw your wedding on the TV news. He called in to point out an issue with episode 14 (that’s 127 episodes ago!) but also tells Geth about growing up Mormon and being a stepdad. This episode is brought to you by One Drop (www.getonedrop.com code: STORIES), Betterhelp (www.betterhelp.com/stories), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com/BEAUTIFUL), Caffe Monster, and Poshmark.
12/4/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 8 seconds
I Lost 150 Pounds
What is it like to transform from very large to marathon runner very quickly? A polite but engaged audience in Toronto helps Geth out with some questions, like how her experience feels in the context of the body positivity movement (and they tweet some insults aimed at Buffalo). Then the audience really gets excited when they discuss tandem nursing! This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp (www.betterhelp.com/stories), Fruit of the Loom (www.fruit.com code: STORIES), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL).
11/27/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 45 seconds
Basement Infidelity
A cheating husband, drugs, stalkers, liars and flipping houses. This week’s caller is at a critical juncture in her life and is a little unclear on where the truth lies. This episode is brought to you by This Is Love podcast, One Drop (www.getonedrop.com code: STORIES), Kopari (www.koparibeauty.com/BEAUTIFUL), Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES code: STORIES), and Ulta Beauty (www.ulta.com).
11/20/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes
House Burned Down
Her home is engulfed in flames. She brings the geckos, kittens & dogs to safety and checks on the donkeys, mules, chickens and horses to make sure they are safe as well. Three days later, lying under an electric blanket with her cat, this week’s caller tells Gethard and the live audience in Los Angeles how she can’t sit around and cry all day, so she laughs through it. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster.
11/13/2018 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 20 seconds
Color of Sunshine, Color of Moonlight
Days after the 2016 election, a mother of three was nervous about how the outcome of the election would impact her children and left an emotional voicemail for Beautiful Anonymous. Two years later, she talked to Geth about the challenges she and her kids face today and all the love and beauty that inspire them. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), One Drop (www.getonedrop.com code: STORIES), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Kopari’s Coconut Deodorant (www.koparibeauty.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster.
11/6/2018 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 46 seconds
Wilderness Rehabilitation
On an eight hour solo road trip, a wilderness therapy guide takes a break from dreaming of the woods and insects to chat with Gethard. He’s a wanderer, a man of nature and a modern day philosopher and Gethard gets him to unleash some wisdom gleaned from his experiences outdoors: “You squat over a hole in the ground and everything just slides out” This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), Stitch Fix (www.stitchfix.com/STORIES), and Ulta Beauty (www.ulta.com).
10/30/2018 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 14 seconds
Vanity & Sanity
What is beauty? Maybe the answer is unknowable. For this week’s caller, searching for the answer to that question has been the source of a lot of emotions: anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy and sometimes happiness. This episode is brought to you by Ulta Beauty (www.ulta.com).
10/23/2018 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 59 seconds
Upward Slide of Happiness
Sitting on a bench in a quintessentially British location, near Queen Mary’s Rose Garden in London, a young Brit opens up with Gethard in a way he never would with anyone in his normal life. From his parents divorce while living on a rural Scottish goat farm to a recent web design related break-up drama, it’s a very authentic conversation that might make you want to go exchange secrets with a stranger in a park for an hour. This episode is brought to you by Stitch Fix (www.stitchfix.com/STORIES), Dream Corp LLC on Adult Swim, Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories code: STORIES), Caffe Monster, and The Hilarious World of Depression podcast.
10/16/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 38 seconds
Nap Time
“Day care is wild though, let me tell ya!” It’s time to put down a bunch of one-year-olds for a nap and talk with Geth. Married young and facing a divorce in her 20s, this week's caller is ready to have some fun. Geth’s advice: She has plenty of time to make mistakes. This episode is brought to you by Hilarious World of Depression, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL).
10/9/2018 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 23 seconds
I Survived A Mass Shooting
A mass shooting survivor talks to Gethard about the love, positivity and beauty she has experienced in the year since the real-life nightmare she lived through in Las Vegas. This episode is brought to you by Merge Records (www.mergerecords.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Kopari (www.koparibeauty.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster.
10/1/2018 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 13 seconds
What’s It Like To Be A Man Today?
A European nomad with 30% battery and a very full bladder is riding a ‘lift’ in the Parisian Metro as she chats with Geth (and a live audience in London). She’s curious: what’s it like to be a man in today’s changing society? This episode is brought to you by A Million Little Things on ABC, Calm (www.calm.com/BEAUTIFUL), Caffe Monster, and Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES).
9/25/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 36 seconds
My Year of Sexploration
Last time this caller got through she talked about being a marching band teacher. She got through again. This time she gets very detailed about a year of pushing and exploring boundaries. This episode is brought to you by Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com/BEAUTIFUL), Amazon Prime Channels (www.tryprimechannels.com/stories, Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster.
9/18/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 45 seconds
Not Afraid of Life
A hard-working mom balancing multiple jobs and school has an inspiring approach to life. Geth tries to find out what it’s like when her Cuban side comes out: when she gets mad, she transforms, like The Incredible Hulk, and her soft spoken demeanor gives way to loud and boisterous anger. This episode is brought to you by Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/stories), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
9/11/2018 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 42 seconds
Nervous Interrupter (Let's All F***)
A merch guy tells Geth about sexual experimentation on the road and coming to terms with his desires. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Calm (www.calm.com/BEAUTIFUL).
9/4/2018 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 42 seconds
40 Lbs of Cat
Is Facebook evil? Can the internet become a more humane and civil place? Beautiful Anonymous’s first official cat lady has a suggestion: A Sorry Sally Detector for internet communication. This week’s caller has the inside tech scoop-- she worked at Facebook during the 2016 election and is currently at Google. This episode is brought to you by Pact Apparel (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).
8/28/2018 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 38 seconds
A Saudi Student in Canada
A woman studying neurobiology in Toronto talks about her experience overcoming the cultural differences between Saudi Arabia, Canada & America. Get some veggie poutine, this call was recorded live at JFL Montreal. This episode is brought to you by Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com/BEAUTIFUL), The Hilarious World of Depression Podcast, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Pact Apparel (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/beautiful).
8/21/2018 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 13 seconds
Major Postal Bitch
Drugs, rampages, the postal system. This call has it all. Buckle up and enjoy. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Pact (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES), and Caffe Monster.
8/14/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 9 seconds
Goose, Not Maverick
Herding fighter pilots like cats, taking “go pills” to stay focused for long flights, imposter syndrome, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” These are just some of the unique things this active-duty service member has experienced while serving her country and she tells Geth all about them. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), and Caffe Monster.
8/7/2018 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 51 seconds
Hanukkah With Fidel
A Cuban refugee met up with Chris in a New York City park. The realities of Jewish life in Cuba, seeing snow for the first time, and falling in love are discussed as flying garbage and passing loud New Yorkers occasionally interrupt. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL).
7/31/2018 • 1 hour, 19 minutes, 47 seconds
Northern Ireland
Northern Ireland: come for the apple orchards and beautiful cathedrals, not the disaster tourism. Born to a Catholic mother and Protestant father, this week’s caller attended a segregated school where they had more bomb scare days than snow days. She and Geth play a game called “How long can a person from the island of Ireland tell a happy story before a sad detail comes up?” This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Care/Of (www.takecareof.com code: STORIES), Madison Reed (www.madison-reed.com code: PEOPLE), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
7/24/2018 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 30 seconds
Prison Bound
In a few days, this caller will turn herself over to federal authorities and begin a multi-year prison sentence. She tells Geth about how she ended up with a federal indictment, getting sober and all the fast food she’ll be eating before turning herself in. This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Madison Reed (www.madison-reed.com code: PEOPLE).
7/16/2018 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 33 seconds
Out Of The Closet
A young man who has never told anyone about his sexuality finally does. He and Geth talk online relationships, coming out in conservative parts of the country, and being completely unimpressed by Mt. Rushmore. This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
7/10/2018 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 20 seconds
39-Year-Old Grandma
A young grandmother with a family tree that involves some unusually complicated math talks with Gethard about rolling with the punches and rising above the obstacles that life puts in her way. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Halo Top, and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com).
7/2/2018 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 57 seconds
I Cry On The Toilet
We live in a world that can be harsh, brutal and unfair. This week’s caller drives around and personally helps kids and parents in difficult situations. (Hint: The caller is not the one who cries on the toilet.) This episode is brought to you by Hearts Beat Loud film, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful).
6/26/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 59 seconds
Smoking Weed in Christiania
Freetown Christiania is an area in Copenhagen where there are no laws and anarchy rules. This week’s caller is walking there to smoke weed with friends from all over Europe. She tells Gethard about life in Denmark in 2018 on the way. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
6/19/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 23 seconds
She Killed My Father
Just ten years ago, transgender was a new word for many people, including this caller. When a close family member transitioned, it was a complex and emotional journey. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
6/12/2018 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 40 seconds
The Chillionaire
A goblin fiction ghost writer and artist at heart has an identity crisis after inheriting a million dollars from a distant uncle. This episode is brought to you by Always Forever Maybe, Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Great Women of Business (www.parcast.com/business).
6/5/2018 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 3 seconds
Charity Laundry
Raised in a troubled home, with parents who lived a transient lifestyle and a father who eventually ended up in prison, this week’s caller was able to rise above his circumstances and now works to give back to the community. Also, a casual debate ensues over the best NBA player of all time (Jordan vs. LeBron). This episode is brought to you by Thomas’ English Muffins and Magoosh.
5/29/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 16 seconds
Irish Wake
This week’s caller tells Chris about the very close relationship she had with her recently passed grandmother. Gethard cheers her up with funny stories and by doing his best Freddie Mercury impression. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas’ English Muffins, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
5/22/2018 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 57 seconds
Quiet Rage
How do you become successful in comedy? How do you know when you’ve made it? In a return to form for Beautiful Anonymous, Gethard chats with an aspiring stand-up comedian about getting out of her own way and making art, even if that means embracing her creepy, pervy side. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL) and Thomas’ English Muffins.
5/15/2018 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 22 seconds
Death Row Lawyer
Growing up in Northern England, this week’s caller became unlikely pen pals with a death row inmate in the American South. That experience, along with an unusual proximity to murder that she describes as a “family quirk”, inspired her career path. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen, Thomas’ English Muffins, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.
5/8/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 24 seconds
Virtual Dominatrix
A political science student and self-described ‘Robin Hood of sugar babies’ talks with Geth about the significant emotional labor that goes into online sex work and the commensurate earnings. She also discusses her political aspirations, including her ideal running mate (hint: together they'll make money moves). This episode is brought to you by 9 Days and 9 Nights, Thomas’ English Muffins, ZipRecruiter, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.
5/1/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 47 seconds
If They Say No, They Mean No
A young man describes three difficult experiences of being sexually assaulted and overcoming drug addiction. It's a raw, honest conversation that is occasionally interrupted by Snapchat notifications and a barking puppy. This episode is brought to you by Thomas’ English Muffins, Tripping.com, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.
4/24/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 41 seconds
Road Dogs
Driving 10-12 hours a day buying and selling machinery can lead to challenges like finding a good gym and getting sufficient protein while avoiding fast food. Gethard has a fun chat with two dudes on a long road trip about making major life changes, maintaining positivity after losing loved ones, and creatine farts. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas’ English Muffins, and Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES).
4/17/2018 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 43 seconds
It’s Quiet Time
A mother of two talks about her youthful past as a wandering actor and the choices she made to change her life. Geth asks a question in this call that leads to the ultimate “Sorry Sally” moment: How much do Playboy models get paid? This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas’ English Muffins, and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
4/10/2018 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 12 seconds
Tasmanian Sex Ed Circus Performer
An aerialist turned sex education teacher from Australia chats with Gethard about her life on the road, falling in love and the challenge of explaining consent to high school kids. This episode is brought to you by Thomas’ English Muffins.
4/3/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 14 seconds
Honne and Tatemae
Stuck between two cultures, a punk rocker calls in from the other side of the world to chat about finding his identity, navigating his country’s social norms and tells a story about how hard it was to finish a huge American burrito. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Tripping.com (www.tripping.com/STORIES).
3/27/2018 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 37 seconds
The Whirlpool Galaxy
Coping with tremendous grief from a recent tragedy, an astrophysics researcher talks to Geth about black holes, extraterrestrial life and the fate of humanity. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
3/20/2018 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 52 seconds
Brady Bunch Wedding / Ron Paul’s Baby Returns
A juicy family history, a fast approaching wedding and upcoming gallbladder surgery are on the caller’s mind this week and Gethard helps her work through it all. After the call, stay tuned for a 2-year anniversary check-in (and live audience sing-along!) with caller #1, Ron Paul’s Baby. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
3/13/2018 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 32 seconds
Dealer Turned Surgeon
How did this self-described East Coast dirtbag go from selling drugs out of his mom’s minivan to doing brain surgery? His answer: Donnie Darko. Gethard asks him some hard hitting questions like: What skills acquired in drug dealing are useful as a brain surgeon? Why did he go vegan? Can he control a monkey’s brain with a special USB stick? This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: STORIES), RXBAR (www.rxbar.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Care/Of (www.takecareof.com code: STORIES).
3/6/2018 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 10 seconds
English Idyll
Ever heard of "granary bread?" Yeah? Then you’re probably British, like this week’s caller. If not, then get out your malted barley and listen to Gethard celebrate cultural differences with a mother and social media expert from England’s rural south. Opening up about difficulties in her past, she says: “you know, it was 14 years ago, but it’s still one of those things, when I open my heart to a stranger on the phone, can still make me cry.” This episode is brought to you by Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful) and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
2/27/2018 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 8 seconds
One Hundred Anonymous
With a combined 200 years of life lived, a retired dentist and an amateur artist chat with Gethard about staying creative as you get older, living a fulfilling life, regrets and the fear of death. One key lesson: travel if you can, but skip The Mona Lisa, it’s just not that interesting. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES), and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES).
2/20/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 24 seconds
Sober Mathematician
Longtime listeners know: math is Chris Gethard's nemesis. A real-life mathematician calls in and gives Gethard the most thrilling math quiz ever on a podcast. (We feel safe making that claim.) He also talks about his struggle with substances in college and getting sober. Geth also tells a never-before-heard story about an unusual religious ceremony in the rainforest, which involves hallucinogens and terrible diarrhea. This episode is brought to you by Burrow.com (www.burrow.com code: STORIES), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
2/13/2018 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 57 seconds
Chemo Chameleon
Headed to her first chemotherapy treatment after a recent cancer diagnosis, this young woman is naturally a little stressed and nervous. However, spirits are soon lifted in a call that includes stories of haunted apartments, puns and a doctor’s note to party. This episode is brought to you by Merge Records (www.mergerecords.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES), and RXBAR (www.RXBAR.com/stories code: STORIES).
2/6/2018 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 40 seconds
In The Candy Aisle
A man narrates his stroll though a Wal-Mart. As he peruses the aisles, from guns to kitchen appliances, the discussion ranges from philosophical to farcical. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Zola (www.zola.com/STORIES).
1/30/2018 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 3 seconds
Boy Crazy
She does improv, lives in New Jersey and considers herself a "niche person." Needless to say, this week’s caller bonds pretty easily with Gethard. She explains what it’s like to be on summer break from college and a little boy crazy. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
1/23/2018 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 30 seconds
Monogamous Animals
"If anybody has seen hell, it would be me.” What starts as an immigrant success story ends up weaving through prostitution, revenge, tragedy, sexuality, morality and religion. Note that this episode contains difficult topics including sexual violence. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and HBO’s Crashing.
1/16/2018 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 30 seconds
The Puppet Master
An art school grad talks about his success working in an emerging technological art form. Then, out of nowhere, something happens in this call that changes everything about Gethard’s world. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Audible (www.audible.com/CG), and HBO’s Crashing.
1/9/2018 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 25 seconds
Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions
Beautiful Anonymous fans called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Chris their goals, hopes and plans for 2018.
1/2/2018 • 34 minutes, 31 seconds
Successful Stalker
Can stalking your crush lead to a successful long-term relationship? A young woman tells Gethard about her years-long pursuit. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).
12/26/2017 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 59 seconds
Wisdom From The Bushman
Unsure of her future, a young German woman finds herself in Australia picking cherries with a group of ex-cons & social outcasts. She passes the phone to a fellow picker and mentor of sorts who opens up about finding solace in the wilderness. He shares some practical tips, like how to hunt and cook wild pig. Hint: Don't use a fishing spear. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (www.sonos.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL), and Zelle (www.zellepay.com).
12/19/2017 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 35 seconds
Picture A Sunset
The unusual malady that afflicts this caller stirs up a philosophical discussion about how we, as humans, experience and remember our lives and craft our stories. This episode is brought to you by Sock Club, Squarespace, Casper Mattresses, and Zelle.
12/12/2017 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 49 seconds
Hipster Hospice Chaplain
Gethard has a surprisingly light-hearted chat about death with an expert in the field. This episode is brought to you by Zelle, Talkspace, Hello Fresh, Sock Club, and Brooklinen.
12/5/2017 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 1 second
Black Cloud of a Husband
A mother of four tells Gethard about going from med school to motherhood, and how she escaped a troubled marriage with a controlling, manipulative man.
11/28/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 10 seconds
Cadaver Epiphany
A first year medical student tells Gethard how dissecting dead bodies changed her feelings on death. She opens up about how her mother inspired her to study medicine and some of the worst smells she’s encountered, like when she had to dissect a human rectum. Recorded live in Gainesville, Florida. This episode is brought to you by CanvasPop (www.canvaspop.com code: BA50), Sonos (www.sonos.com), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
11/21/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 17 seconds
Head Injury
A guy got hit really hard in the head. He tells Gethard all about it. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
11/14/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 58 seconds
Plant Splooge
A bonafide geologist tells Geth about fossilized dung fungi and the behind the scenes secrets of the Museum of Natural History. They also talk about how quickly the Earth is dying and weigh the likelihood of colonizing Mars. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (www.sonos.com), Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: STORIES30), Audible (www.audible.com/esther).
11/7/2017 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 7 seconds
Moravian Trademonk
“You can’t give puppies cow vaccines.” That’s how this caller ends her hour with Gethard. The journey to that moment takes us through: Italian Madrigals, getting licked by a baby cow, going on a tour of a cranberry marsh, and a very personal story about the loss of a friend. All this while she's prepping to perform a show that starts right when the call ends. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).
10/31/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 40 seconds
A True Crime Investigator
Usually this caller is the one conducting the interview. He’s a police officer by trade, but he works a little differently than your average cop. He investigates major crimes including sex crimes, shootings, robberies and murders. He tells Geth about some major cases from his career as well as his opinion on the podcast Serial. This episode is brought to you by Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: STORIES30), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).
10/24/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 48 seconds
The Relaxed Satanist
Gethard has a meandering chit chat with a photographer and former photo developer who details the unusual things people put on film, like nazi motorcycle gang orgies and police crime scene photos. The caller opens up about his interest in the macabre and surprises Geth with his unusual tattoos. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and ZIpRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
10/17/2017 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 6 seconds
Sex Toys and Bourbon
A nice midwestern girl moved to LA. While fixing herself a drink, she tells Gethard tales of porn, vomit, hair extensions and an elopement. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).
10/10/2017 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 53 seconds
Rabbits and Catholics
Recently engaged to a deeply Catholic man, this week’s caller asks Gethard for some guidance. Also in this week’s call: weird stuff at cybernetic garage sales, near death experiences at jury duty, and an answer to the question: How do rabbits react to the sound of Gethard’s voice? This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
10/3/2017 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 56 seconds
Hiding In A Storage Space
Today's caller is a dad with two sons who just dropped his 5 year old off for his first day of Kindergarten and he and his wife have their first couples therapy appointment that afternoon. The caller says that recent professional changes, growing confidence and a desire to get more out of life are driving him and wife apart but Gethard notices him expressing strong feelings toward a female coworker. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: STORIES30).
9/26/2017 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds
Civil War Survivor
Today’s caller was injured by grenade shrapnel as a young child and brought to the U.S. by her mother to receive medical treatment. She tells Chris about her family’s experience living through an extended civil war and building a life in the United States. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (www.sonos.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL).
9/19/2017 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 39 seconds
Bloomin' Love
Santería, possible mafia connections and digestive troubles are a part of this week’s caller’s complicated family history. Calling from a Dunkin’ Donuts bathroom, this rambunctious fun-loving bartender tells Chris hilarious, bizarre, and gross anecdotes about her family, drunken adventures, and her pro golfer BF. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
9/12/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 34 seconds
Coming Out with Katie Couric
Iconic journalist Katie Couric joins Gethard as guest co-host. They chat with a college student in an early stage of major life changes. The caller bravely opens up about some very personal and emotional stuff...and also talks about having a unique emotional connection to Gethard because she’s seen people eat burritos off of his belly. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), RXBAR (www.rxbar.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL), Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).
9/5/2017 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 36 seconds
A Big Hole
Eight months pregnant and she loves messing with people, this week’s caller is celebrating her birthday on Beautiful Anonymous. She tells Gethard about some pregnancy-driven life hacks. Controversial birthing practices? They go there. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful), and Bound to Delight (www.bookofthemonth.com/stories).
8/29/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 15 seconds
Charlottesville
An African American military vet living in Charlottesville discusses the recent protests in his town. He tells Chris about confronting KKK rallies and how to deal with white supremacists. He’s also playing Mario Kart and really hates Peach. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen code: BEAUTIFUL).
8/22/2017 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 32 seconds
Holy Moly
Having dealt with mental health issues and an eating disorder this caller now helps others confront those problems. She tells Chris about the repercussions of coming out in a small town, and the two discuss their strategies for dealing with anxiety, including the best funny animal videos on YouTube. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Book of The Month: Bound to Delight (www.bookofthemonth.com/STORIES).
8/15/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 42 seconds
Homeschooled Bigfoot Hunter
Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Skunk-Ape. Yeti. Whatever you want to call it, this week's caller is on the hunt. A homeschooled paranormal enthusiast, he tells Chris about some of the things he believes in. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), The Butterfly Effect with Jon Ronson (www.audible.com/butterfly), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Honest Tea (www.honesttea.com/podcast).
8/8/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 35 seconds
Aussie Best Friend
An Aussie opens up about his family’s history which includes tales of drug dealing, substance abuse, mental illness, sex addiction and trying to find God in a hot yoga studio. Something really special clicks between Gethard and the caller, and not just because Americans love an Australian accent. Recorded in front of a live audience in Baltimore, Maryland on June 11, 2017. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL) and Book of the Month: Bound to Delight (www.bookofthemonth.com/STORIES).
8/1/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 37 seconds
American Studies
What college major could possibly involve writing an academic paper comparing the 1968 film “The Parent Trap” with the 1998 remake starring Lindsay Lohan? It could only be Gethard’s major, American Studies! This week’s caller chats about what it’s like to be an American Studies major during the Trump era and Chris shows off his talent for generating a good thesis. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Redbox (www.redbox.com/games code: STORIES5), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful), and Bound to Delight (www.bookofthemonth.com/STORIES).
7/25/2017 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 29 seconds
Tattoo Parlor
Calling in from a tattoo parlor, this week’s caller is getting inked up to commemorate a grim experience. Some wild tattoo stories are told as the phone gets passed around. Secret family drama gets dissected: an estranged brother, internet stalking, rumors of the mafia. This episode is brought to you by Redbox (www.redbox.com/games code: STORIES4), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and HBO’s Insecure.
7/18/2017 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 50 seconds
Love Is Everywhere
A mother calls in from a children’s hospital while waiting for her daughter's test results. Gethard & the caller shed some tears while discussing tragedy, sickness, pain and suffering. But it’s not all sad. Birthday parties, gelato, Disney World and other awesome things come up. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Redbox (www.redbox.com/games code: STORIES3), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL code: BEAUTIFUL), Book of the Month: Bound to Delight (www.bookofthemonth.com/STORIES), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
7/11/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 4 seconds
Married The Day We Met
Gethard chats with a Soprano. As in the highest of the four singing voices in Opera, not a character from a popular HBO show. The caller speaks about troubled relationships from her past and, even more troubling, a serious childhood trauma. (Trigger warning: discussion related to childhood sexual abuse.) This episode is brought to you by Redbox (www.redbox.com/games), Honest Tea (www.honesttea.com/podcast), Away (www.awaytravel.com/stories), Thumbtack (www.thumbtack.com).
7/4/2017 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 21 seconds
Country AF
On her lunch break, today’s caller engages in some light hearted chit chat about office gossip and her (sometimes frustrating) side gig as a wedding photographer. But then, when a hot button political issue comes up, things start to get heated. This episode is brought to you by Redbox (www.redbox.com/games code: STORIES), Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Hulu Plus (www.huluplus.com).
6/27/2017 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 13 seconds
Sex Drugs and Retail
Ever wonder what it's like to be paid to secretly watch shoppers on camera? This week's caller works in the retail field of "loss prevention." He tells Gethard about the time he confronted a shoplifter and got punched in the face, and discusses how the American heroin epidemic is directly correlated with retail theft. Plus, Gethard hears a little bit about the caller's unorthodox personal life. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Hulu Plus, Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG).
6/20/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 53 seconds
Deaf
This week's caller is a somewhat unconventional podcast fan. He loves Beautiful/Anonymous even though he's never technically heard an episode. Hmmm. Mysterious. He shares his unique experience with the medium, his outlook on life, and his best party tricks.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Hulu Plus, ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL), Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel (www.audible.com/Esther), and Detour (www.detour.com/BEAUTIFUL).
6/13/2017 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 35 seconds
Mother Moon (Live in Portland, Oregon)
A poet-to-be calls in to the Beautiful Anonymous live tour. She and Gethard get off to a slow start. That might work in the studio, but the live audience gets a little restless! So the caller turns to the people closest to her to help ramp up the excitement. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Detour (www.detour.com/beautiful) and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
6/6/2017 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 58 seconds
Singer Who Won't Sing
Struggling to realize her creative ambitions in early adulthood, this week’s caller confronted body image issues when younger. Gethard gives her a pep talk and discusses the challenge of being creative while dealing with other people's judgement. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel from Audible (www.audible.com/Esther), and Detour (www.detour.com/beautiful).
5/30/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 41 seconds
Just Like A Johnny Cash Song
Raised in a tumultuous household and married at eighteen to the pastor’s son, today’s caller was divorced before she turned twenty. Betrayal, love triangles and shotgun deaths are all a part of the wild ride that she’s lived in her twenty-six years. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Detour (www.detour.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
5/23/2017 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 29 seconds
Rekindling An Old Friendship
Against the odds, a caller from one of the earliest, most listened-to calls manages to get through for a second time. Unprecedented! The caller gives Gethard an update on what's happened in his life since his first call over a year ago. They chat about dealing with internet commenters (which might instigate some more internet comments). This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).
5/16/2017 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 58 seconds
Public Defender
Big parties with lawyers gathered around piles of cocaine. Inequality in the criminal justice system. Huge corporations ripping off the families of jailed inmates. Gethard talks to a public defender about these topics, and discovers her favorite word: alleged. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES).
5/9/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 41 seconds
First Kiss
One hour ago, in the rain, this week’s caller experienced her first kiss. She tells Gethard about the high school experience in 2017 covering the new (Snapchat, group texting, nerd culture being cool) and the established (SATs, teen pregnancy, crushes). She also explains how writing Harry Potter fan fiction in the 6th grade led to her current hobby, writing romance novels. This episode is brought to you by Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES).
5/2/2017 • 1 hour, 24 minutes, 41 seconds
Vinyl Market Researcher
Should this week's caller quit his lucrative corporate job to pursue his passion? His dream is to purchase a small business but he's nervous that he'll lose his financial stability. Chris chats with him about the plusses and minuses at play in this big life decision. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), and Uber (www.uber.com/drivenow).
4/25/2017 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 49 seconds
Swingers
Gethard has a threesome! Okay, okay...it's just a three-way phone call, but this week's callers are a married couple who talk to Chris about their swinging lifestyle. Find out how they meet other swinger couples, what the proper etiquette is in an 8-person orgy, and how they make sure their babysitter doesn’t find out. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful), Uber (www.uber.com/drivenow).
4/17/2017 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 21 seconds
A Midwife Discusses Birth Schmutz
Chris asks a midwife some real questions: has she ever seen someone in labor punch someone else? And, what happens to the schmutz left behind after a birth? Politically divisive topics are covered and important lessons are learned (like, never tell a family that the baby looks just like the dad). This episode is brought to you by Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/stories), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).
4/10/2017 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 19 seconds
Trail Blazer
It's a story like something out of a surreal American novel, with wealth and poverty intertwined. On the phone while hiking a mountain, this week’s caller tells Chris about his youth, spent experimenting with every drug known to man. Chris was reminded of the famous quote from professional wrestler Dusty Rhodes: “I have wined and dined with kings and queens and I’ve slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans.”This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories), Uber (www.uber.com/drivenow).
4/4/2017 • 1 hour, 22 minutes
What Not To Ask A Trans Person
Assigned as a female at birth, this week's caller has been socially and medically transitioning for close to four years. He answers some of the most common questions cis people have for trans people. He also tells Gethard what questions you probably should not ask a trans person. And somehow, this involves the Italian ham known on The Sopranos as "gabagool."This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).
3/27/2017 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 21 seconds
Cruise Ship Mafia
After graduating from the actual (pre-Jack Black) School of Rock, playing with the likes of Peter Frampton, this week’s caller found himself traveling the world as a cruise ship musician. Get the behind-the-scenes details on life at sea and its secret black market economy, plus hear a very special Springsteen sing-a-long between two Jerseyites. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Seeso (www.seeso.com/beautiful), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
3/21/2017 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 31 seconds
Ron Paul's Baby Part 2
For the one-year anniversary episode, Chris reunites with the very first Beautiful Anonymous caller: Ron Paul’s Baby. Find out if having his story told to millions of people has changed him for better or worse. Did the spotlight destroy him or save him? Most importantly - has it gotten him some dates?This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Seeso (www.seeso.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), and Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/BEAUTIFUL).
3/14/2017 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 42 seconds
Made Out With My Teacher
A chance encounter at a coffee shop unearthed difficult experiences from this caller’s high school years. The troublesome nature of the call brings out Chris’s anger and rarely-seen “North-Jersey-guy-ready-to-break-bones” side.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Seeso (www.seeso.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).
3/7/2017 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 19 seconds
Fugitive Father
Having a reformed criminal kingpin for a dad has made it difficult for this week’s caller to find his path in life. At his father’s urging, he studied water systems engineering, which means he can answer a serious question that’s been on Geth’s mind: Why does the tap water smell so weird in Florida? The answer to that question may be a bit hard to grasp, but understanding will be found in the idea that a good father will respect his child’s hard work and dedication.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/stories).
2/28/2017 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 39 seconds
Bisexual Brahmin
The caste system, religion, arranged marriages and bisexuality are on the mind of this caffeinated caller. Raised in Kenya and India, educated in California and currently living on the East Coast, he opens up about dealing with his conservative religious family. The conversation spans from breaking down western stereotypes about Indian culture, to the amazing dosa place that Gethard goes to in Queens. This episode is brought to you by Seeso (www.seeso.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful).
2/21/2017 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 13 seconds
Power Grid of Love
Interested in the intricacies of how the US electrical grid functions? No? Well, you will be interested in hearing about how the caller wants to “disconnect from her ex-boyfriend’s power grid”. Love, in the language of electricity. Sit back and soak up the metaphors. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful).
2/14/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 50 seconds
Illness, Love & Dogs
Today's caller is recovering from a serious illness acquired while working on peace building in East Africa. He likes to give Chris a hard time but also talks about some deep stuff, like contemplating how to maintain one's idealism and passion when suffering from chronic illness. Also, he hopes the Beautiful Anonymous community can help him find a permanent home for a dog he's currently fostering.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Match.com (www.match.com/beautiful).
2/7/2017 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 29 seconds
4 Kids 0 Spaghetti
At a young age, he found himself a divorced father of four. Battling depression, all he wanted was to find a nice girl to take on a date for some spaghetti and meatballs. Recovering from the low point in his life, and from career stagnation, this college dropout wants to finish his degree and become a teacher. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/stories), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful).
1/31/2017 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 44 seconds
Inside The Heroin Epidemic
Addicted to heroin for ten years, this week’s caller got clean because she wanted to be a good mother to her new son. She tells Chris about how she started using when a high school boyfriend introduced her to pills. Eventually she was living in her car and spending time in jail, where she networked with other addicts and dealers. She hopes that by speaking with Chris she can help those who may be dealing with addiction themselves or have friends or family who need help by making clear that they are not alone. If you're looking for a place to get help, some have found na.org and aa.org to be helpful.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL).
1/24/2017 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 7 seconds
American Daughter
Raised by parents who moved from Vietnam to the United States in search of a better life, this week’s caller is her family’s first American-born child. She talks about defying stereotypes and asserting her independence by dying her hair. Find out how her “Tiger parents” reacted when she embraced a goth punk identity in middle school and later when she went to work for a non-profit.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Secrets, Crimes and Audiotape podcast from Wondery, and Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful).
1/17/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 13 seconds
Marching Band Teacher
How horny are high school marching band kids? Is it appropriate for a boy to dye his hair in the girls bathroom? This week’s caller drank a sh**-ton (sorry Sally) of coffee and raises these very important questions. She also uses her practiced ‘compassionate teacher’ voice on Chris, and gets him to open up about his feelings on creativity, fame and success.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp ( www.mailchimp.com ), Squarespace ( www.squarespace.com code: CG), Blue Apron ( www.blueapron.com/BEAUTIFUL ), and Casper Mattresses ( www.casper.com/beautiful ).
1/10/2017 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 57 seconds
Queer Black Punk in Appalachia
Growing up as a black woman in rural Appalachia wasn't easy. She was different, and she was bullied. But punk rock saved her, and helped her form her own identity. Chris interrupts her Snapchatting at the start of the call, which leads to a discussion about their experiences with social media around the election.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp ( www.mailchimp.com ), Mack Weldon ( www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Adam and Eve ( www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES), and Texture.
12/20/2016 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 40 seconds
Escape From A Cult
Brainwashed into a religious cult. Our caller escaped 10 years ago, but she's only now starting to process the trauma: from sexual manipulation and poison, to hallucinations and "mind melding". Chris talks about therapy (and discovers a mutual love for go kart rides). This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp ( www.mailchimp.com ), HUAWEI ( www.huawei.fit/AnonymousPeople ), Stamps.com ( www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Texture ( www.texture.com/beautiful ).
12/13/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 49 seconds
Single Mom Cancer Survivor
Today's caller discusses beating cancer and raising her son as a single mom. Through all of her struggles, big and small, she’s stayed relentlessly positive. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get fired for talking to Chris for an hour while at work!This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp ( www.mailchimp.com ), Harry’s ( www.harrys.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Stamps.com (code: BEAUTIFUL).
12/6/2016 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 45 seconds
A Sister Scorned
A "dolphin" personality type. Betrayal. Anger. Lunch at a buddhist temple. This week's caller has it all.This episode is brought to you by AMEX, Mailchimp, Stamps.com, Harry’s, and Talkspace.
11/29/2016 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 22 seconds
Fail Army Cop
A small town police officer chats with Chris about the current state of policing in the United States. They try their best to reconcile a divisive issue that incites a lot of passion on all sides. And this is all going on while our caller is on his couch watching Fail Army videos on YouTube.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, AMEX, HUAWEI, Casper Mattresses, and Joyable.
11/22/2016 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 41 seconds
5% Romantic Interest
Hannibal Buress joins Chris on a call with a college freshman who is a lover of comedy struggling to find romance in his life. Should our caller ditch school and try his hand at comedy? Why were Chris and Hannibal crying last night? Is it normal to be aroused by stealing? These questions and many more will be answered.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Mailchimp, Totes, Stamps.com, and Talkspace.
11/15/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 6 seconds
Cuddly Pudge
Adopting a child from a foreign country takes a lot of time, patience, and passion. This week’s caller has all of these things. He also has the hope that his son-to-be will have the opportunity to experience virtual reality toilets.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Mack Weldon, Stamps.com, Talkspace, and Grommet.
11/8/2016 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 59 seconds
Shakespeare On Molly
Burner, fire-performer-hoola-hooper-grinder-girl, and maybe, a modern-day Shakespeare (on molly) are a few labels we could ascribe to this week's caller. She's been through a lot, including the very shocking breakup of her up-and-coming band. Oh, and on a lighter note: heard of shirt-cocking? Guys, just don't do it.This episode is brought to you by AMEX, Mailchimp, Stamps.com, Casper Mattresses, and Joyable.
11/1/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 28 seconds
A Spooky Episode
Just in time for Halloween, Chris and this spirited artist trade spooky stories...until they are rudely interrupted by the ghost of an angry biker. But the corporeal beings prevail, if only for the caller to give Chris his least favorite nickname ever: Chris Giraffe-Herd.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Talkspace, and Totes.
10/25/2016 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 17 seconds
IRL-ASMR
Did someone say "brain orgasms??" Today's caller did! She gives Geth a lesson in how to whisper in just the right way to make Beaut/Anon listeners' brains tingle & feel the stress melt away. ASMR me ASAP!This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Grommet, Psychic Source, and Stamps.com.
10/18/2016 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 25 seconds
All About Cash
Dear Tom Waits, We look forward to hearing the song you write about this week's caller: falling in love with a stripper, skipping town in a blizzard, a christmas dinner in the demimonde of Boca Raton.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Mack Weldon, Psychic Source, Stamps.com, and Joyable.
10/11/2016 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 15 seconds
10,000 Pounds
London Calling! (or somewhere in England) Our caller works in the film industry, and in general she's a pretty happy person...except when her phone is being monitored by Jar Jar Binks, or when 10,000 pounds disappear. (That's GBP, y'all!)This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Stamps.com, Grommet, and Insecure on HBO.
10/4/2016 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 42 seconds
Shopping at the Face Depot
This week's caller is a linguist who teaches Geth all about the "corpora." In case that's too nerdy for you, hang around for the story about a first date that was captured on a Coast Guard thermal camera. And if you're still not satisfied, we'll take you shopping at the Face Depot.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Talkspace, Audible, and Stamps.com.
9/27/2016 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 47 seconds
The Mom is Anonymous Too
Chris Gethard's Mom, Sally, is the kind that doesn't like her son swearing so much. Our caller's Mom is the kind that cheers when her daughter gets a penalty in a youth hockey game. She's also the kind of Mom that picks up the phone at work to be on a podcast she's never heard of. This episode is brought to you by Blue Apron, Casper Mattresses, and Talkspace.
9/20/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 14 seconds
Daddy Dearest
Sure, there's stories about fighting neo-nazis, deranged tree-house guests, and a mom fetching her son's busted teeth. But peel back all the sensational layers and you'll find a man. A man trying to make sense of his childhood while trying to be a good father to his own child. This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron, Stamps.com, and Talkspace.
9/13/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 12 seconds
Chronotopes in Paris
What is a Chronotope? And what does it have to do with time, space, love and sex? Come, walk with us through the streets of Paris, and everything will be explained. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Mack Weldon, Stamps.com, and Talkspace.
9/6/2016 • 52 minutes, 5 seconds
Hot Scoop
Poo-tiful stories flow freely from this anonymous caller. And Geth steps in it.This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talkspace, and Blue Apron.
8/30/2016 • 56 minutes, 13 seconds
Noodlebody
Morrissey sings, "It takes strength to be gentle and kind." Well, Geth hasn't eaten all day, and this self-avowed "Noodlebody" is about to find out if the two hard-boiled eggs Gethard bought from the midtown 7-11 will provide enough strength for gentleness & kindness.This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Magoosh, Stamps.com, Stitch Fix, and Talkspace.
8/23/2016 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 52 seconds
I Cry When I Run
"You're about to hear me have more fun than I've ever had in the history of Beautiful/Anonymous." So sayeth Chris Gethard about this call, which moves from over emotional long distance running, to emo & screamo music, to a jaw dropping medical emergency. Chris is having so much fun that he invites a couple of the caller's friends to join the party. This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talkspace, and Casper Mattresses.
8/16/2016 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 52 seconds
Anglican Bipolar Blacksheep
For generations her family has been preaching fire and brimstone in the Pentecostal church, but this caller had to find her own way. A self-described, "Anglican bipolar black sheep," she is now preaching a much different message, dedicated to the treatment of mental illness. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Magoosh, Blue Apron, Stamps.com, and Squarespace.
8/9/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 39 seconds
A Competitive Spirit
This former professional soccer player's life hasn't turned out anywhere close to what she planned -- but she's happy. And as she tells Chris, she's learning how to tap into her competitive spirit every day.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Talkspace, and Magoosh.
8/2/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 8 seconds
Make Fruit Baskets Great Again
She's a mother of two and domestic abuse survivor who wants to talk about Trump. After hearing her life story Chris understands why she supports The Donald. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, Talkspace, and Stamps.com.
7/26/2016 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 56 seconds
Vegan Uncle Buck
He loves animals! But kids? Not so much. This caller delves into his own childhood, his dislike of hardware megastores, and though there's a little darkness, this is one of the more lighthearted calls we've ever had.This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, The Found Podcast by Wondery, Blue Apron, Stamps.com, and Now Hear This Podcast Festival.
7/19/2016 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 43 seconds
Strangers on a Train
A lot of people call up and share stories from their past. But today we are very much living in the present. It's almost like we're experiencing this caller's life with him as it is happening. All aboard the SEPTA train.This episode is sponsored by Seat Geek, Stamps.com, and Squarespace.
7/12/2016 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 29 seconds
OTL in a Hopeless Place
Loves hashtags & millennial abbreviations? Check. Has a deep knowledge of RomComs? Check. Found love in a hopeless place? Check. Name drops J-Lo and inspires Chris to sing some Peter Gabriel? Check.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon.
7/5/2016 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 11 seconds
Early Onset
She's just 25, but her mother has early onset Alzheimers. This is a call about remembering those who can no longer remember themselves.This episode is sponsored by Ibotta and Audible.
6/28/2016 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 59 seconds
At Sea On a Cardboard Boat (Live at the Vulture Festival)
It's the first ever taping of Beautiful/Anonymous from the Vulture Festival in NYC. The caller is a creative Canadian looking to sail her cardboard boat in the rough waters of daily life. Luckily the audience is on her side.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Casper Mattresses, Ibotta, and AMEX.Photos courtesy of The Vulture Festival.
6/21/2016 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 4 seconds
The Hardest Part Is That You Love Me
This 25 year-old Californian is in the midst of a quarter-life crisis and turns to Chris for help. So they form a mutual appreciation society. #MAS This episode is sponsored by Ibotta, Chirpy, and AMEX.
6/14/2016 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 49 seconds
Jack Mormon
A questioning Mormon and family man calls Chris up exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes before his final law exam of the semester. But this phone call is more important to him than the test.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, Mack Weldon, Chirpy, Stamps.com...
6/7/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 22 seconds
Married to a Monster
Two years ago a note came in the mail with surprising and horrifying news about her husband. But despite all the darkness that's crept into her life she is shining with positivity.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, Ibotta, Stamps.com, Chirpy, and...
5/31/2016 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 17 seconds
Alcoholics Anonymous
We get our first hangup and it's pretty rattling. Let us know what you think.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, SundanceNow Doc Club, Framebridge, and Stamps.com.
5/24/2016 • 36 minutes, 20 seconds
Jersey Boy
This entrepreneur seems like he's got it all figured out. But there are certain things he will never reveal to Chris. Plus: how a volcano inadvertently caused the best trip he's ever had in his life. Want to see Chris take a live Beautiful...
5/17/2016 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 53 seconds
4 Kids 0 Sex
After 8 years and 4 kids he is more in love with her than ever. But she may not be in love with him. This is the first time he's talking to anyone about it. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Squarespace, and Framebridge.Plus: Come see a...
5/10/2016 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 29 seconds
Up All Night
This nurse has been up for 24 hours. Chris has the chance to ask her some questions that have been on his mind for a while.
5/3/2016 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 19 seconds
Running Down a Stapler
The greatest songwriter of all time (self-proclaimed) has written 18,000 songs and counting, including one brand new song for us. Watch out, Tom Petty.
4/26/2016 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 15 seconds
The Cycle of Life
Reflections on death and the value of a 401k turns into candid sex advice from Chris Gethard to his anonymous caller.
4/19/2016 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 23 seconds
Mountain Man vs. City Boy
This outdoorsman and mountaineer is in touch with nature and his Ford F250, he takes care of the people he loves, and is totally willing to share about anything, even poop soup.
4/12/2016 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 49 seconds
A Real Life Superhero
Military veteran and writer talks about his WWII super-spy grandmother, a more recent sad and startling ouija board prediction, and how his life has changed since he left the service.
4/5/2016 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 46 seconds
The Most Amazing Destruction
An aspiring voice actor talks about using jokes to help with the hard times, and explains how she frames success. Plus she asks Chris the most important question he has ever faced: if you were to be eaten by an animal of your choice, which one would...
3/29/2016 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 36 seconds
The Illustrator
A young illustrator in New York City grapples with the line between fine art and commerce...and how to avoid parking tickets.
3/22/2016 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 6 seconds
Passport, Exodus
An ex-Orthodox Jew answers Chris’s pressing questions about Kosher law, particularly as it relates to drinking wine and eating insects. He also reveals a clever passport hack.
3/15/2016 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 44 seconds
Ron Paul's Baby
A true underdog in Denton, Texas reveals his fascinating family history, and a pent-up passion.
3/15/2016 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 22 seconds
Preview: Beautiful / Anonymous
A sneak peek at Chris Gethard’s new show “Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People,” coming to Earwolf on March 15th! Subscribe now and you won't miss a thing.