Hop on the Hot Goss Express next stop Woo Town, Busybodies! This week the Babes bring you juice straight out of The Vatican (Ashley has been there), give you a glimpse into some troubles in Hall and Oates paradise, an update on our old pal Armie Hammer (who is still not Channing Potatum, but don't try to tell Lauren that), and bring you back to good 'ol seacoast for some dish on the local scene. And of course, be sure to hang onto your tangible assets while Ashley and Lauren commune with their ornithological oracles, dig into some new dating profiles, and ponder the age-old question: How many Larry Davids is too many Larry Davids?

Hellllooo busybodies! Did you miss us as much as we missed you? We hope so, because starting next Tuesday we will be back with a whole new season of gossip, dating nightmares, and lovely lovely guests. Have gossip to share? Text or call the lips phone at 207-544-9108 Talk to us at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George: www.stephaniageorge.com

It's the finale of Season One, and Steph is here with us to close out our gossipy, juicy, manic first season! We love all of you for being such staunch fans and true tea-spillers over these 32 weeks!!! In this final ep, Ashley downloads the Nextdoor app and finds a local thread dedicated to whether or not we answer our doors, prompting Steph to enthusiastically explain, "I LOVE answering the door!" However, not all locals agree, and at least one local pushes "the vegan agenda." Lauren, similarly, brings us some delightful updates from South Berwick online shenanigans, including plans for a South Berwick ANTHEM. PS--if anybody knows anything about the twisty slide that used to be at the Central School, we want to know about it. And Steph brings us a local story about the city of Portsmouth destroying the Love Locks!! Love is dead in Portsmouth! In true Babe Patrol fashion, and for the FIRST TIME this season, we did something screwy with the audio equipment & somehow cut out our green flags this week, so stay tuned for next season to find out what those maybe could have been! We also discuss hard launches vs soft launches, the perils of Disney adults, spelling our names differently in middle school (is this a canon event?), and Rodney Dangerfield. Though this is our season finale, we plan to see you soon!! As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

It's our penultimate, next-to-last season one episode, busybodies, and yes, we're gossiping about the orcas. Lauren does a deep dive (so to speak) about our fave aquatic communists. Did you know they're dolphins, not whales?? And Ashley continues with her fave rin tin tin chapeau discussions with an explainer about the David Grusch alien whistleblower claims. The babes discuss the importance of the Crush Nickname, a TikTokker who finally discovers Ashley's "boundary of prude," and the perils of talking about sex with a partner. Notable tangents include Fresca. the time they ACTUALLY left for the sale this week (we know you were on tenterhooks about this detail), Lauren's current blood feud with a groundhog, and Ashley's first boba. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com #babepatrolpod #babepatrolpodepisodes #gossip #busybodies #podcast #podcasts #podcastersofinstagram #podcastshow #podcastlife #crush #crushes #redflag #greenflag #ModernDating #kittery #kitterymaine #orca #orcas #orcanizing #davidgrusch #aliens #uap #whistleblower #nicknames #fresca #teatotaller #teatotallernh #garnethill #lupines #franconia #franconianh

It's tin hat time again on Babe Patrol! Ashley takes us through some of the many conspiracy theories surrounding the Denver Airport. It's a veritable "cornucopia of weird," especially the story of "Blucifer." And Lauren brings us a busybody-provided gossip about a lie taken to the grave!!! The Babes discuss the seasonality of dating--which season is your best season, anyway? And how do you feel about cuffing season? The Big Lebowski makes its entrance into their flags this week as well, so tune in. Tangents include: Orbitz, a detailed discussion of Ashley & Lauren's travel plans (sorry), arthritis, the mating habits of gargoyles, and Ashley introduces the concept of "Sugar Babies" to Lauren. Reminder that this is the next-to-last episode of Season One!!! As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Today we've got a tale of George Clooney & double-sized raccoons. Lauren & Ashley discuss red and green flag pets when it comes to dating, they dip back into the Meyers-Briggs test, and Lauren begins her manifesto about the middle lane on the highway. Notable tangents include their absolute worst sunburns (including the ones they got together on a foggy morning), detailing their cars, Bunnicula, and memorable hate-filled feral cats as pets. Ashley attempts a new busybody-requested Just the Tip, but honestly, considering her social skills aren't top notch, this Tip is pretty mid. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

What kind of animal would you want to be a zookeeper for? Lauren says capybaras. Ashley wants something slow and docile. Or a crocodile. Today on the pod, the babes gossip about Princess Anne's foiled kidnapping attempt in which they use the word "ALLEGEDLY" a lot, and Lauren brings Ashley some workplace drama from the ZOO. A quick correction: the royal insignia was only on ONE side of the limo, fyi. They have an in-depth discussion of how and when they swipe, and talk about the time a busybody tried to hit Ashley with her car. ICONIC. Ashley puts the local Starbucks on blast, acts like a fool, and then realized, when listening back to this episode, that she sounds like she is on speed because LIKELY the re-made Americano was not decaf!!! You'll understand once you listen. Enjoy Lauren's description of "shopping for men," and the movies that make the babes cry. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

First off, THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS ARE NOT ON THE BIG CHILL SOUNDTRACK. Ashley issues this formal apology. Otherwise, this episode is chock-a-block full of gossips, both local and national. The Coronation, the Meghan/Harry car chase, Taylor Swift's new rat boy boyfriend, a fire at the Days Inn in Kittery, the Elizabeth Holmes NYT profile, a SoBo parrot update, an "active glass situation" at Whole Foods, and the South Berwick mystery of "The Boom." They talk about the meaning of foods in dating profiles, their love of short kings, and the scent of milkweed. Did you know coffee milk is the state beverage of Rhode Island? And is the number 42 more kiki or bouba? And finally, they exalt folks who are active listeners. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Who would you want to play you in the movie of your life? Lauren contemplates this question in today's episode. She also delivers a "flight of workplace gossips," at least one of which will nearly kill you. Cringe City, USA, Population: Us. Ashley shares two newsworthy gossips, including the NJ Pasta Incident, which many of you requested, and an orgasm at the opera house. They rant about feminism (as usual), people who call their OWN banter witty, and both rant at AND celebrate men who call themselves feminists. They discuss a dating prompt answer that unveils a little AI/bot situation. Notable tangents include: Gene Simmons, Ashley's mature crush on Toby Ziegler, texting misfires, and what games they will and will not accept when dating. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

WE MADE 25 EPISODES. This episode is loose, busybodies, so prepare for some tangents. But first, Ashley brings us a small gossip about a legacy chiropractor beauty queen. And Lauren tells us ALL about a sperm donor who can't stop donating in a story we've called "The Deported Inseminators." They view a pro-gun profile of a dude Lauren describes as "alt-right meets Morrissey," and Lauren's profile view this week sparks a meaty discussion about worth ethic, labor rights, and a quote we THOUGHT was from James Baldwin, but wasn't. Flags include gifs and embellished jeans, vegetables and sex talk. Tangents include our multi-watch comfort movies, the Practical Magic house, beige foods, Gap scents from the 90s, and we return to Lauren's favorite new segment: Just the Tip. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Lauren and Ashley are back to gossip (as usual), and this week Ashley is satiating her naked curiosity about Cedar Waters nudist park in Nottingham. Lauren brings us back to the South Berwick Facebook page for some hilarious updates--the stick section of the South Berwick dump is closed, by the way. They perform an impromptu play of some Tinder DMs, and Lauren has Ashley play a round of "Guess the Zodiac Sign." Notable tangents include the beauty and desolation of the desert (Lauren describes a section of New Mexico as "nothing but yucca plants, skinny cows, and border patrol"), the arcade, westerns, the Lee traffic circle, and whether Tom Brady belongs on your dating profile. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com#babepatrolpod #babepatrolpodepisodes #gossip #busybodies #podcast #podcasts #podcastersofinstagram #podcastshow #podcastlife #crush #crushes #redflag #greenflag #ModernDating

One of the hallmarks of local gossip is local politics, and today the babes are joined by local politico former Somersworth city councilor, Crystal Paradis! Lauren and Ashley have, respectively, referred to her as "our Amy Poehler" and "the Spiritual Mayor of Somersworth," and both monikers ring true. Crystal talks with the babes about her time in the Somersworth City Council, her infamous Somersworth mayoral race, and the Portsmouth parking plan that started it all. Crystal obliquely mentions a little gossip that you'll have to look up on your own, and otherwise they talk surfing, the wlw dating app Lex, and the beautiful story of how Crystal met her delightful wife-to-be, Angie. And finally, they do a roundtable of red & green flags. Lots of local color in this episode! As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

The babes pre-apologize for talking about sex books this week and the ensuing giggles. They ask the hard-hitting questions--WHO is going to write us the x-rated rom com of our dreams??? They gossip this week about another MLM workplace nightmare--what is UP with supplement MLMs, anyway? And Lauren brings you some steamy gossip about The Villages, the Shangri-La of retirement communities. Ashley swipes on Lauren's Hinge profile again, they enter another Virgo man into the current pantheon, and Ashley offers another red flag that kind of flags herself. They also debut their newest segment: "Just the Tip." Tangents include pinball, the aforementioned sexy books, and Ashley freaks out that Lauren hates When Harry Met Sally. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

"It's not gross, it's ROMANTIC." --overheard from a 10 year old at a birthday party Lauren went to this week. The Podmother--Babe Patrol's new rainbow sound board took her maiden voyage this week, and the Babes sound like VELVET LOVERS, so enjoy. They gossip about a busybody who sold some broccoli pills through an influencer/MLM situation and there is a cult tie-in!! They also gossip about the absolute horrors of urine flipping, and remineralization. A possible Russian spy swipes by, the phrase "mathematician at cryptocurrency" shows up, and Lauren makes a strong case against utilikilts. Tangents include Oprah & Steven Tyler in the woods, and other podcasts we love. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Ready for a mob wedding, busybodies? This week Ashley tells a listener-supplied gossip about a mob wedding, and Lauren takes us to the collective dream realm for a surrealistic story involving a pig out of a Hell portal (it's not scary, don't worry). They recorded right after eating a massive diner breakfast, and as such, are fairly loopy, so buckle up. They discuss the intricacies of the term "bon vivant," the "social rohypnol" quality of dimples, the tragedy of short tongues, and bad pickup lines. Ashley swipes on Lauren's Hinge Likes, and Lauren invents a new genre of man: The Stomp-Clap Lumineer. Tangents include imitation maple syrup, Bruce Springsteen, concert etiquette, and Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Steph joins the babes again this week to discuss the results of their Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator tests. Turns out Steph & Ashley are twinsies, and rare af. Also, it turns out that all of them--Steph, Lauren, and Ashley--were basically defense lawyers as children. They gossip about Ashley's landlords and make up a completely ridiculous story with absolutely baseless claims, and Lauren brings a memory of an absolute RAGEfest of a restaurant customer and her embarrassing Yelp review! They discuss men who brag about nonsense, peeing themselves at work, and a recurrence of DOLL EYES. Oh! And they love men with candles! Tangents include Maine's long tradition of yard cars, the perils of cruise ships (Steph: "We're shitting on the ship."), and we revisit vanity plates. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

If there is one thing for sure, Steph George hates space. But thankfully, she loves us, and she loves a fair bit of eavesdropping. Today Steph joins Lauren & Ashley for Pizza Ennui Night and shares a killer train eavesdropping story, which includes a little internet sleuthing interlude, and an accidental dragging of JJill. Ashley dusts off her press credentials and brings us a little bicoastal symphony rivalry gossip. And Lauren spreads a rumor about Ron DeSantis's dating prowess. Dating woes include Lauren's dad's texting foibles, a revisit of the "hey what's up" opener, the oxford comma, and the word "slovenly." As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com #babepatrolpod #babepatrolpodepisodes #gossip #busybodies #podcast #podcasts #podcastersofinstagram #podcastshow #podcastlife #crush #crushes #redflag #greenflag #ModernDating #gustavodudamel #deborahborda #dinaharris #provincetown #paigeevans #rondesantis #tuckercarlson #nyphilharmonic #laphilharmonic #jjill #thai #oxfordcomma #slovenly #bumble

Lauren & Ashley have returned to snap sh!t on America's aristocrats this week. They drop some busybody gossip about a McMansion visit gone wacky, and Lauren takes us to the CraigsList Activity Partners section for nine innings. We try a little TikTok trend that is supposed to tell us the type of men we like (spoiler alert: gray sweatpants come up). We discuss the intricacies of egg salad vs chicken salad, striped socks, private jets, and Lauren contemplates the Kennedys. Tangents include the perfect trouser, the zoot suit, Limoncello Lacroix, rich people driving old beaters, Uncle Jesse, key parties, and the wind. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com #babepatrolpod #babepatrolpodepisodes #gossip #busybodies #podcast #podcasts #podcastersofinstagram #podcastshow #podcastlife #crush #crushes #redflag #greenflag #ModernDating #lacroix #craigslist #activitypartners #tiktoktrend #theperfecttrouser #dickies #zootsuit #unclejesse #marypoppins #keyparty #theicestorm

Lauren takes us on a hero's journey of perfume and gossips about a warhead, which leaves Ashley wondering a particularly seminal question: "what IS terminal c*m, anyway?" Ashley reads from her teen journal--a list of her teenage self's Perfect Man (spoiler alert, it's a shero's journey) and gossips about a shocking Instagram caption that blew the mind of a busybody. We talk about hot UPS men, the origin of Lauren's delectable man feature: big face, a man who lies about Jim Henson, and the particular joys of receiving a playlist. This week we lie down on our beds, pop on headphones, and dream of you. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com 

When is it too soon to ask if you're going to eat your pickle? This, and other questions for the ages come up in today's episode. Ashley & Lauren gossip about some wild busybody-supplied 23 & Me gossip, and Lauren introduces us to some truly verbose, loquacious, pleonastic, well....WORDY local copywriting. Ashley nearly weeps over the Chinese spy balloon, we discuss aerial phenomena and "spy shit", and we issue our FIRST (but likely not the last) public apology. Oh, and we squee over Alan Alda and his meet-cute with his beloved wife. Tangents include Ashley forgetting Justin Trudeau's name, the nature of language and existence, and whether your bare foot is squee-geeing around inside Vibram toe shoes. *shudder* As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.  Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

On today's episode, we welcome the absolute delight: Rob Loucks! Rob is an artist, DJ, cloud enthusiast, and very bad hockey player. He's currently living in Boise, ID where he has been desperately trying to learn how to make incense from tree sap, and tame his anxiety. He gossips with us about the Idaho bumper sticker scene, a sexting situation that made Ashley gag, and a multi-decade MYSTERY NOTE that Lauren got while she and Rob were in art school together. Rob teaches us about Ravy Gravy, secret languages in the gay community, "The Grid", and the elite green flag man outfit. Lauren & Ashley wax rhapsodic about gay cowboys on the range until Rob brings them back to life, back to re-al-ity. And then we all complain about mountain biking. Enjoy!!! As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.   Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

It's time to celebrate V-day busybodies, and no matter your relaysh status, we're here to heat your seats and take this party from romance dry to, in Ashley's words, Romance Wet™. In this special edition episode, we step outside our usual format and slip-slide through some Valentine's Day fun. Let us moisten your ear holes with tender moments involving love matches delivered via rudimentary hetero-centric computer programming with dot-matrix printer technology, the power of the almighty mixtape, and busybody-submitted love stories including two-stepping,  being set up by a dental hygenist, a lunch date auction gamble for the ages, a romance that took root in a place "like The Shining, but on an island", and a first kiss like a puckered butthole. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod and look for some extra-juicy members-only content coming to Patreon this Thursday 2/16. 

One time Lauren saw a guy in a pair of Pit Vipers and called them "a full facial windshield mirrored joe dirt situation." And that one time was in this episode! Today we're gossiping about an incident in a bagel shop and the ins and outs of bathroom door etiquette, and Lauren teaches Ashley about Chat GPT, who is a TOTAL BORE who DOESN'T GOSSIP. We discuss objects that look like sex toys but aren't, dinosaurs, hipsters, and cheating. Tangents include: our cool car accidents, our birthday twins, a couple of embarrassing bathroom stories we termed "Meet Poops," George Santos, and even more upsetting nonsense!! As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

We recorded this after 10pm, so buckle up, because it's loose, babyyyy. We gossip about Ashley's favorite weekend spot: The Laundromat, and Lauren talks about historically weird musical instrument, the Glass Armonica. We ask ourselves about emojis as punctuation and crypto as a red flag, and talk about an entire website a man built for dating, a local earthquake, and Ashley's competency kink. Tangents include family papers, podcasts we've been on, weird musical instruments, Squirrel Island, Freemasonry, and plenty more. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com #babepatrolpod #babepatrolpodepisodes #gossip #busybodies #podcast #podcasts #podcastersofinstagram #podcastshow #podcastlife #onlinesleuth #crush #crushes #theremin #glassarmonica #benjaminfranklin #freemasons #albuquerque #genealogy #thefamilyroom #datingsite #crypto #redflag #greenflag #moderndating #competencykink

Jeeez, they let us make 10 of these?? For our illustrious 10th episode we recorded **After Dark**, and Ashley was over-caffeinated, so consider listening at .5 speed. We gossip about a backwoods doomsday prepper & DNA surprises. Ashley simply passes out over a smokeshow of a profile that Lauren found on OKCupid, and we discuss dating out of your attractiveness range and whether that is real? We also break down our OWN red and green flags and discover that we are, in fact, undateable (jk, we're adorable and here for all of our own strange magic). Tangents involve unfriending on social media, random muscle groups, conspiracy theories, how our entire bodies feel like a tit, and color theory. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.   Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

What's your New Year's *iNtEnTiOn,* busybodies? Ashley & Lauren discuss theirs while potentially editing all of the intentions down to: ORGASMS 2023. Small gossips include a car/bridge/laundromat episode & a surprising fact about Celine Dion. We roast a few men who were rude online, including a man Ashley describes as a "potato carving of Quasimodo" after admitting she sort of looks like him. Ashley gets scammed into paying real money for a handdrawn picture of her soulmate by a psychic on Etsy, and Lauren names him Arnold the Anxious Arborist. Tangents include a critical new Babe Patrol term: DOLL EYES, trolling, Maya Angelou, and double standards, as well as the famed questionnaire that makes you fall in love. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Helloooooo and welcome to another episode of Tangent Patrol! Ashley shares a piece of deeply relatable gossip from a busybody about social terror in a local small business, Lauren shares a "tragic" pie plate story, and then we bring in our first guest!! Steph George, our fearless producer, hops on the mic to join us in a discussion of her own history of gossip, and to break down a couple of solid gold profiles including a cryptid looking for love in the swamp of life (spoiler alert: it's not Shrek). Tangents are on fire this episode, spanning everything from how to swear as a child, "debrief gossip," Ashley tries and repeatedly fails to understand electric buses, and wtf is Zoosk?? Additionally, we're sorry, but cannibalism comes up.....again.....and no member of the Babe Patrol Control Room is edible, fyi. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Today, busybodies, Ashley tells another gruesome story, while Lauren tells a charming local one about Santa. We delve into a wild Craigslist lobersterman personal ad who describes to us "where my safe place is" (yikes) and a kitchen surprise. Notable tangents include: our upcoming FUNDRAISING RACE: The Stoner to Boner 3K!!! Start training!!; the charm of a good highway information booth, Glad Brad's Saxophone Adventure, Ashley's friendly bumper stickers, and tinned fish. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times / for each man on the Edmund Fitzgeraaaaald!!! A little Piscataqua River historical gossip comes to you today, fresh off the old Middle Bridge, as well as a juicy morsel from one of Lauren's coworkers. We talk about DM slippage, sh!tting your pants on a date, the panty-dissolving quality of good conversation, and the perks of "Magazine Zero." Tangents abound, including The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, German U-Boats, and Leaving Las Vegas. We updated our Spotify playlist with The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/617gcWmJ93dZLyHNhYcYym?si=f0e2693ec04d4fff As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.  Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Grab your dELia*s cardigans, busybodies, because Ashley brings Lauren back to high school (shudder) with some vintage Presidential gossip from the early days of the Internet, & Lauren finds us a 2-for-1 special for the booklover of your dreams. Notable tangents include REALity and filters, our love for Gen Z, Barnacle Billy's rum punches, The (beloved) Black Bean (RIP), vagina dentata, & more. We also get DEEP into a discussion of coded language on dating profiles & some of our thoughts on desirability. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.  Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

An integral part of being a busybody is the willingness to eavesdrop, and this week we fight children and the cacophonous sea to overhear some beach gossip & recreate it in a Choose Your Own Adventure style. Lauren introduces some Reddit tales that shock the senses, and we discuss chain restaurants, Rae Dunn, the greatest tattoo in the history of the world, finding the Pam to one's Jim, and Sketch Doms. Tangents abound, as usual, and we probably owe an apology to Hampshire College grads... Live, Laugh, Love, busybodies! As always: visual aids, supporting documents, and Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your low-stakes local gossip or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram and TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

This week, busybodies, we clop over to a dude's house and interrupt him while he's laying sod in order to get the beef in the neighb. And we discuss some gossip on the town Facebook page that was shared by the ice cream parlor. We talk about gossip as a political tool, Lauren's liberal use of exclamation points to fool the patriarchy, the hotness of John Goodman, friendships between men, and finally, the eternal question: would we swipe the good way on Guy Fieri or Anthony Bourdain? Spoiler alert--Ashley likes both of them even while choosing chefs as her red flag this week. Unbelievable! As always: visual aids, supporting documents, and Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your low-stakes local gossip or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram and TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.  Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com Link to our Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/617gcWmJ93dZLyHNhYcYym?si=d427f05f783b4853 Abortion resources: www.nnaf.org www.ineedana.com www.abortionfinder.org www.mayday.health www.reprolegalhelpline.org www.reprolegaldefensefund.org 

How many dead bodies have you kissed, anyway? In this week's episode, we share some Irish Catholic funeral goss, and take you on an aural "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" of tantalizing tangents: social mores around kissing a dead body (or as producer, Steph, lovingly refers to it: "the final kiss"), Hare Krishna chanting, Ashley's first vibrator, Twin Peaks, Babe Patrol's Official Cookie, and the perils of Jack Kerouac...to name a few. As always: visual aids, supporting documents, and Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your low-stakes local gossip or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram and TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com Link to our Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/617gcWmJ93dZLyHNhYcYym?si=a30f1b0853aa4c9e

Welcome to Babe Patrol--a podcast about...well, you'll see. For our fledgling episode, we’re bringing you into our world, but mostly stumbling around as we do it.  We have gossip about a secret relationship at work, a CELEBRITY in Portsmouth, and multiple dating profiles we gently dissect. Notable tangents include VH1’s The Pickup Artist, the Free-Stater Movement in NH, Chris Maloni? Maroni? Meloni?, and the best way to transport an organ when you’re on a date. Visual aids, supporting documents, and Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your low-stakes local gossip or dating woes at babepatrolpod@gmail.com, follow us on Instagram and TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Babe Patrol--a podcast about low-stakes gossip & modern dating from your pals Lauren Audet & Ashley Bliss. Episodes drop every Tuesday, starting next week 11/22/22!