Have you ever spoken honestly about your mom, only to wonder if she heard what you said, and worry what the consequences might be? Over the years in counseling, we've noticed that your mom takes up a significant amount of real estate in your head. Whether it's things she has said or done, you may notice that your relationship with your mom has left a lasting impression on you for good or bad. In this episode Lynn and Austin first address the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to mothers. Recognizing how your mom may have hurt you seems like dangerous territory, but we will help you learn how to manage your difficult mother by: 1. Calling a spade a spade 2. Taking ownership for your healing 3. Setting boundaries 4. Grieving and forgiving Mother's Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters If you would like an episode recap, subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

What role has your father played in shaping who you are today? It's an important question to ask yourself, especially if you have grown up with a difficult father. This episodes explores "the good, the bad and the ugly" when it comes to fathering. There are dads with good intentions who aren't perfect, but there are also bad fathers whose actions hurt and wound their children in powerful ways. In this episode, John Shay and Austin explore the difference between good fathers, bad fathers, and ugly fathers. No matter what your relationship with your dad currently looks like, this discussion will provide you with insight that you may have never considered. If you're a dad yourself, this content will help you think through the legacy you will pass on to your own kids. After listening you’ll realize that even if the wounds inflicted by your difficult father never fully heal, you can take intentional steps in your life that will bring growth, acceptance, and perspective. The Toxic War on Masculinity by Nancy Pearcey Father Hunger by Robert McGee Have you visited our website yet? Go to withyouintheweeds.com and subscribe to our newsletter for episode recaps, highlights and free resources. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content!

You're ready to break free from hurtful patterns in your family, but where do you begin? John, Lynn & Austin talk through 5 practical steps you can take to forge new patterns in your family: F igure out what’s going on O wn your own stuff R ealistic expectations G et help E stablish healthy boundaries Listen as they provide examples of each step and how these might look in your everyday experience. Taking these steps isn't easy, but is the path to freedom from destructive family dynamics. Check out our website withyouintheweeds.com and subscribe to our weekly newsletter so you can get podcast episode reminders, recaps, free resources and more! Connect with us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds and let us know what topics you'd like us to address.

Do you feel frustrated, hurt or misunderstood in your family? Do you have family relationships that are strained or broken? There may be some underlying forces at work in your family that you didn't even know were there. The 3 rules that guide the interactions of a dysfunctional family are: - Don't Talk - Don't Trust - Don't Feel These rules may not be posted on the refrigerator for all to see, but they are actively at work behind the scenes. This first episode in our new series Managing Your Dysfunctional Family is all about helping you make sense of rules you grew up with and how they've shaped the relationships in your family. John Tinnin, Austin Conner and Lynn Roush explain these rules as outlined in the book "It Will Never Happen to Me" by Claudia Black. Once you know the rules that govern your family, you can begin to break the generational cycles that may be keeping you stuck. Check out our new website withyouintheweeds.com and subscribe to our weekly newsletter so you can get podcast episode reminders, recaps, free resources and more! Connect with us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds and let us know what topics you'd like us to address.

Happy New Year! We know that emotions tend to run high around the holidays, so we decided to recast our most popular episode, "Your Emotional Dashboard" because we've heard first hand how much this information has helped our listeners. This episode contains the foundational principles for Managing Your Emotions, which is something that requires a lot of practice and needs to be rehearsed over and over again. To follow along with this episode, we now have a FREE DOWNLOAD called Managing Your Emotions that you will find on our new website: withyouintheweeds.com. This free Managing Your Emotions guide is a great companion as you listen to this episode, and it includes notes on all the other emotions we covered in the series: anxiety, depression, sadness, grief, anger, guilt and shame. It also has a user-friendly feeling word sheet that's great for parents, teachers, journaling and self-reflection. Check out our new website withyouintheweeds.com and subscribe to our weekly newsletter so you can get podcast episode reminders, recaps, free resources and more! Next week we will launch our new series Managing Your Dysfunctional Family that you won't want to miss. The WYITW team is excited to help you manage the weeds of life in 2024, so stay tuned! Subscribe to our weekly newsletter: withyouintheweeds.com Follow us on Instagram & Facebook: @withyouintheweeds

Hiring a financial advisor to help you make good investments for your future is praiseworthy and encouraged. So when your relationship is in trouble, why is seeking advice often looked down upon? Daniel & Alex Moore knew their marriage was in trouble when they were arguing at 3:00am about "whose life is harder". Knowing that they were stuck in a bad pattern pushed them to take the plunge into marriage counseling. What they found was that being honest about their struggles and learning to say scary things out loud was actually the first step to building a friendship that would last the test of time. Stories in the Weeds is a real life look into how the process of how counseling can bring hope and relief when the pressures of life get overwhelming. Life is messy, but having someone with you in the mess can make all the difference in the world. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

This episode is about answering your questions on the topic of parenting! The "Becoming a Whole Person" series addressed many aspects of parenting and child development, but these listener questions will go deeper in the weeds on the following topics: 1) Logical Consequences: What are they? How do I implement them? Ideas for teens? 2) Sibling Rivalry: What's normal? How do I manage it? Ideas to minimize it? 3) School Agendas: How should I navigate agendas in my child's school that conflict with my values? John, Lynn & Shay walk through these questions to offer strategies and perspective on parenting through these challenges. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

Many parents are imprisoned by the pressure to be perfect, and have all the right answers and responses.  But the reality is that every parent and caregiver makes mistakes and fails their kids.  John and Austin discuss the 4 biggest mistakes they see from parents: 1) Trying to control your kids 2) Ignoring your kids needs 3) Avoiding vulnerability & ownership 4) Inconsistency & unpredictability Each of these mistakes brings misunderstanding, frustration and hurt. So what can you do instead?  Listen in to hear the 4 key responses you can provide in these areas that have the power to bring hope and healing to your relationship. The main takeaway from this episode is that when you learn that you are flawed and still loved, that is a gift you can give your kids too. So be encouraged by what every parent needs to hear - "good enough parenting" is enough.  If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Parenting can feel like walking blindfolded on a greased tightrope over a frightening chasm. Having firm anchoring points along the way can ease your fears and help you know how to take the next step. Many parents fall off the tightrope by either "under" or "over" disciplining, which can strain relationships or cause future pain. This "true confessions" episode with Austin, Shay and Lynn will encourage you to keep going on your parenting journey and keep you focused on where you want to go. Reflecting on your parenting regrets isn't a fun exercise, but as Shay & Lynn confess the ways that they either "under" or "over" disciplined their kids, we hope you learn and grow as a parent. The team also tackles the topic of spanking, so you won't want to miss this honest conversation. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.  You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

You can ignore, dismiss, punish or try to fix emotions, but the reality is that they aren't going away. Until you can become emotionally intelligent yourself, it will be difficult for you to give your child the one thing they need from you the most: your heart. Relationships are built on emotional connection, but without modeling or instruction on how to identify and work with emotions, you may think that avoiding them is your only option. John & Lynn directly address the question of how to engage with your child's emotions in a way that creates further connection and builds relational trust. Using John & Julie Gottman's research on Emotion Coaching, John and Lynn offer a primer in how to coach yourself and your kids through the myriad of emotions that you can't avoid in life. For more information on Emotion Coaching, check out The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.  You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

It's easy to think that childhood fears are silly and irrational, but have you considered that there is a fear that drives both children and adults to behave or respond in extreme ways? Maybe you get angry and react irrationally at an innocent comment.  Or you notice a child throw themselves to the floor when asked to do a simple task. Or you have a co-worker sabotage your team project when they don't get the recognition they think they deserve. Listen as Lynn, Shay and Austin discuss an underlying fear that hides beneath the surface of many problematic behaviors - the fear of abandonment and losing connection. After listening you’ll get an idea of what feeds this fear, what calms this fear and how you can manage this fear in your own life and as a parent. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.  You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

The 2 core questions that you are asking in every stage of development are: Am I loved? Can I be free? This episode explores the 2nd question: "Can I be free?"  The heart behind this question is wondering if you can be your own person, be independent, and be your own authority. When you begin to notice how this question presents itself, you'll have a better understanding of what drives you as an adult, as well as what drives the heart of your child. Parents are helping children build an internal "freedom" container which creates independence because we were created for autonomy with the ability to make our own meaningful choices. Yet true freedom happens within limits. Both adults and kids need to understand what those limits are in order to exercise impulse control and delayed gratification which builds wisdom and character. Join John, Lynn & Shay as they address the importance of answering this core question as you work towards Becoming a Whole Person. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.  You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

Everyone is looking for the answer to these two questions: Am I loved? Can I be free? It may sound simple, but these two core questions are a driving force in every child's psychological and emotional development. So what does a child need from a parent to know the answer to the question: "Am I loved?"  John, Shay and Lynn will get specific about how parents can help their child build a strong internal "love container" that will help them move through life with confidence. They also discuss the implications of not having this question answered, and how that impacts a person even in adulthood. Stay tuned to this Becoming a Whole Person series, so that you can learn the basic ingredients everyone needs to continue growing in maturity and wisdom. Books recommendations: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D. Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker, M.D. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.  You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

This episode launches our new series: Becoming a Whole Person.  You are on a growth journey towards becoming a whole person, no matter how old you are. In fact, you never stop growing! All children need basic ingredients to grow, and these are actually the same ingredients that you need to keep growing as an adult. In this episode, John, Lynn and Austin discuss two key ingredients for growth: Love and Limits. As you listen, you will discover: - What are love and limits - How the presence (or absence) of love and limits impacts growth for kids and adults - Practical takeaways for parents to help their child keep growing towards becoming a whole person So whether you are a parent, ministry leader, young professional, mentor, teacher, or you’re just wanting to know for yourself how to stay on a growth path to becoming a whole person, this series is going to offer you the nuts and bolts of what it takes to develop along the way. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.  You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

One of the most beneficial aspects of counseling is taking the time to reflect on the story of your life. In this new pop-up series called "Stories in the Weeds", Austin Conner interviews James Bachman as he recalls how he initially believed that grieving was only necessary after a huge loss in life, like the death of his father. But what James came to understand as he worked through his story, is that both big and small losses need to be grieved, or you will stay stuck. The WYITW team believes that your unique and complex story holds powerful insights waiting to be explored.  As you listen to how counseling gave James a new perspective on life and helped him grow as a person, we hope you are inspired to dig deeper into your own story. Be looking for more "Stories in the Weeds" in the future, so you can be a fly on the wall and listen in to how and why counseling can be an effective tool to substantial transformation.

We enjoy answering questions submitted by our listeners, and these 2 questions have John and Austin jumping in the deep end as they address questions about marriage and pornography.  1. Marriage: "At the heart of most of our marital conflicts it seems as though my spouse expects me to meet their needs that I cannot meet. How do I handle that?" 2. Pornography: "What advice would you give to someone who is addicted to pornography? This has been a struggle of mine for such a long time. I know why it’s a problem and want to stop, but I can’t seem to get any long term freedom from it.” John and Austin's answers to these questions may surprise, challenge and encourage you. This episode provides clarity on how to manage seemingly unresolvable conflicts in marriage, as well as some concrete steps to manage pornography use and addiction. Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us! You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

What happens after you die? Where will heaven be? What will you do in heaven? Whether you know it or not, your beliefs about heaven impact your current perspective. And without a biblically informed understanding of heaven, you may be prone to adopting a narrative about what happens after death that is inaccurate. What Shay & Austin explain in this episode is that ultimately, heaven is relational. Meaning, heaven is where you will be fully known and fully loved, enjoying perfect community with Jesus and those you have loved and known here on earth. Once you come to understand the significance of how Jesus will make all things new, and wipe away every tear from your eyes, your present sufferings and hardships will not feel so hopeless. Listen as Shay and Austin give a vision for heaven that will tap into your deepest longing for all things lost to be restored.  If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

If this title hits a nerve, you’re in good company because everyone has some sort of internal emotional response when they think of their father, good or bad. But we’re talking about it because we’re all children with a built-in longing to connect with our father. And given that no one has had a perfect human father, it's hard for us to imagine God as our Heavenly Father being as good as the Bible tells us he is. In this episode Lynn, John, and Austin discuss what spiritual adoption is and the implications it has in our lives when we relate to God as our Father: Spiritual adoption means our debts are canceled. Spiritual adoption means God feels compassion and tenderness towards us.  Spiritual adoption means it’s possible to reshape our father filter. Being Grounded in Grace includes embracing your identity as a child of God, so you don't want to miss this compelling conversation.   If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Does it ever feel like you’re calling God and he’s just not picking up? Have you ever believed God loves you in your head, but not in your heart?  Has this head/heart gap lasted a long time, felt hopeless, or caused feelings of guilt and despair? If so, you might actually be right where God wants you. In this episode John, Shay, and Austin discuss the specifics of what the “silence of God” is, relate stories and scriptures about when God feels distant and describe experiences of dark nights of the soul. This stage of your spiritual growth may feel like a desert, the wilderness or a valley and you may wonder how you will survive this painful season. But we want to encourage you that there may be more happening behind the scenes even when God seems unresponsive to your pain.  If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

As counselors, we are often asked by clients these perplexing questions: "Why do I do what I don't want to do? Why am I not further along in my spiritual growth? Will I ever be free from this besetting sin?"  These questions immediately get to the heart of the internal battle we all face when it comes to the topic of indwelling sin and what growth looks like in the life of a Christian. John, Lynn, and Austin discuss the parasitic nature of sin and how it imbeds and expresses itself in our hearts and infects our relationships, often leading to various forms of destruction.  But Jesus has overcome the power of sin and is committed to beginning and empowering your growth (a process called sanctification) which can be characterized by staying, growing, and responding. When you’re done with this episode you’ll get clarity on why the struggle is so hard and renewed hope the next time you find yourself doing what you don’t want to do. Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us! You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Have you noticed that we live in a world where you are judged by your performance?  Your sense of purpose, identity and value seems to hang on the balance of how well you perform in school, at work, as a parent and even as a Christian. But what happens when you realize you can’t measure up, no matter how hard you try?  Pastor Erwin Lutzer joins Lynn Roush & Shay Roush on this second episode in our Grounded in Grace series, where they discuss the self-doubt, fear of failure and insecurities that exhaust and paralyze you when trying to perform your way into love and acceptance.  What if you could depend on someone else’s perfect performance and rest in the fact that someone else has done everything necessary for you to be safe, secure and accepted? This powerful teaching of justification might be the most unbelieveable part of the gospel message. Listen in so that you can be anchored and rooted in God’s grace and not feel like a spiritual imposter! Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us! You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

This episode kicks off a new series called Grounded in Grace where we will explore several key theological truths that we need to understand and cling to in the weeds of life. We kick things off with the most foundational truth of all - The Gospel. But what does that even mean? And what implications will it have in your life?  John, Shay and Austin discuss the heart of the gospel message: that God sent Jesus to be in the weeds with you. This profound truth changes everything and impacts every area of your life: The gospel changes your identity The gospel changes your purpose The gospel provides divine power for change and internal transformation The gospel of grace is at the heart of Soul Care, so we are excited about this new series! Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us! You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

This is our second installment of answering YOUR questions! The WYITW team tackles 2 listener questions in this episode: 1. What therapeutic concept has been most eye-opening and helpful to you as a counselor? 2. As a single person in the church, I struggle to figure out where I fit in. How do I deal with being single when I feel overlooked? John, Shay, Lynn & Austin have a spirited round table discussion on these excellent questions as they share what they have learned from their experiences in ministry and counseling. We invite you to send us YOUR questions via email at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com or find us on Instagram or Facebook @withyouintheweeds, and message your question to our team.

Perhaps you know this in your mind, but actually believing it in your heart is a different story. John, Shay, and Austin set out to help close this gap between your head and your heart. They discuss the following 3 important biblical truths that you need to remember: 1. God's heart is for the sexually broken. 2. The gospel says that you are simultaneously far more broken than you know, and yet far more loved than you can imagine. This powerful truth redeems, restores, and reminds us of our God-given dignity and value. 3. The promise of Romans 8:38-39 - Nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus. They also discuss 3 practical ways to “clear the runway” of your life in order for those biblical truths to land: First, learn the relational equation: honesty + vulnerability = connection. Second, prepare for a marathon, not a 100 yard dash. Third, your actions may have painful consequences but God's enduring love for you remains unchanged. Our hope is that after listening you will be able to believe, even just a little bit more, that sexual brokenness does NOT disqualify you from God’s love. If you want to read more on this topic, check out the following books:  "Surfing for God" by Michael John Cusick "Unwanted" by Jay Stringer  "On The Threshold of Hope" by Diane Langberg If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Have you ever believed this about yourself? We know that this bad, false belief is pervasive and often reinforced by feelings of self-loathing and self-condemnation. That's why the With You in the Weeds team decided to tackle it head on. Lynn, John, and Austin address what might be one of the most heavy, messy, and complex FALSE beliefs in the entire series "Beliefs That Keep You Stuck". They define “sexual brokenness” and unpack the progression of intimate bonding and the powerful impact it has on your body and soul. This episode highlights 3 crucial principles you need to be aware of when it comes to the process of sexual bonding and relational attachment that may shed light on why this struggle feels so hard. Our hope is that as we tackle this false belief, the burdens you may carry related to this topic would be a bit lighter and that you have a better understanding of how this false belief is impacting you.  If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

We know it’s counterintuitive, but it’s true. "Shoulding" yourself into being a better person neglects the most important ingredient we need to grow: grace. John, Shay, and Lynn share why it’s hard to believe this is true and discuss the proper place “shoulds” have in the Christian life. When you’re done with the episode you’ll know how important it is to: -Focus on trusting God instead of pleasing God -Use discernment when you see “shoulds” controlling your life -Begin saying “I wish” instead of “I should” If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

"I should read my bible more" "I should get in shape" "I should be more successful in my job" "I should be a better friend/parent/Christian, etc" Is your thought life full of all the things you "should" be doing? When you "should" on yourself, does it help you change, grow or do better? So many people live under the heavy burden of things they "should" be doing, but then feel discouraged, ashamed or disappointed when they can't live up to their own standards.  John, Lynn, and Shay discuss the following 4 areas of life where we most often experience "shoulds" and explore why we believe them: - Religious "shoulds" - Vocational "shoulds" - Marriage "shoulds" - Parenting "shoulds" When you’re finished, you’ll have a better idea of which “shoulds” plague you and how this belief might be keeping you stuck.  Identifying this false belief is the starting point to getting unstuck and moving towards a better belief. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

This statement may be hard to accept, but without a biblically accurate view of suffering, not only will you feel stuck, but you may also hurt yourself and mislead others, leading to despair and giving up on God. John, Shay, and Austin explain how a better, more accurate belief is that: “Obeying God Includes Suffering.” When you come to understand the reason why this is true, you will find greater degrees of acceptance, healing, and comfort in the midst of your suffering.  Suffering is always painful and never easy, but embracing these 3 realities can make a difference in your life: 1) You will suffer in this life, but Jesus is with you in the midst of that suffering. 2) Managing your suffering includes being honest, being in community and keeping Scripture in mind.  3) Growth can happen when you suffer: you can grow in resilience, character, compassion, and knowledge of God. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Do you believe that following God, praying and having strong faith will buy you an insurance policy against suffering? This false belief is often clung to as a way to feel in control when life feels chaotic and unpredictable.  The problem with this belief is that it breeds disappointment, resentment and disillusionment when you encounter trials and suffering that don't make sense. John, Lynn, and Shay explain more about where you may have picked up this belief, why it's so tempting to believe, and how it may be keeping you stuck. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, text this episode to a friend, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Despite what you may think, understanding your past matters a great deal, and may have more impact on your personal growth than anything else.  Lynn, Shay, and Austin walk through the biblical foundations of why your past matters, explain the neurological nuts and bolts of how your past shows up in your present, and then give the following practical steps to explore your past: - create a timeline of events - acknowledge both positive and painful memories - identify and grieve the losses - confess and repent The power to get unstuck lies with you. If and when you can examine your past, you will be on the road to healing from hurts and grow in your ability to manage your present. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

You’re in good company if you believe this. Seriously, why would you want to think or talk about something in your past that's painful?  Maybe you hold to this belief because you think it’s counter-productive to talk about something that you can't go back and change. Maybe you think that looking at your past might open a can of worms that you're not ready to deal with. Or you’re simply just not sure where to begin.  Austin and Lynn explain why this common belief exists, why it keeps you stuck, and what the negative consequences are of maintaining this belief in the following areas: -Marriage -Parenting -Jobs -Student Life If you want to get unstuck, the first step is to identify why you've ignored your past and consider what it will take to move forward.  If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

We all have needs, desires and longings, and Jesus was no exception. If you’re wondering why it’s godly to get your needs met, you can look to Jesus as your example. John and Austin unpack this counterintuitive belief by examining where and how Jesus met his own needs, and how he handled his longings and desires.  Then they explore the deeper reason as to why you can't avoid your needs, desires, and longings no matter how hard you try. They also discuss some distorted views and false messages to watch out for and offer specific ways you can get needs met in a healthy, God-honoring way. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Is there a more shameful pronouncement of judgment for a Christian than being "selfish"? Taking care of yourself is definitely a source of confusion for people, and trying to get your needs met tends to get a bad wrap in the church.  Bible passages that reference "dying to yourself” and “losing your life in order to save it” may bring your efforts to take care of yourself to a screeching halt and leave you feeling exhausted, burdened and disconnected. Is it possible that this belief is keeping you stuck and preventing necessary growth in your life? Maybe these passages of Scripture need to be understood in a broader context. Austin and John unpack and define the human experience of having needs, desires, and longings. They explore why these are inherently good, how they’ve been infected by the sin virus, and what that means for you in your daily life.  If you want a more nuanced and freeing view of your needs, desires, and longings, you won’t want to miss this episode. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Today is all about answering YOUR questions!  Join the entire With You In The Weeds team to hear their answers to the following 4 questions that our listeners asked… 1. What is a biblical perspective on the use of medication for anxiety, depression or other mental health disorders? 2. What does the Bible say about divorce? 3. How do I deal with an emotionally immature parent? 4. How do I navigate a conflict with my spouse over a deeply rooted desire that my spouse doesn’t share? You don't want to miss John, Lynn, Austin & Shay weigh in on these topics! If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

The best way to protect yourself from a destructive relationship is to avoid entering it in the first place. But red flags in a relationship may be not be obvious to you once you're attached and emotionally invested in someone, so it may require other people helping you see what you can't see on your own. Angie Phillips, co-host of "Blended, Blessed and Always a Mess", joins Lynn Roush to discuss the Red Flags that should be warning signs to anyone in a relationship. Angie's daughter, Hallie, was caught in an unhealthy relationship that ultimately took her life due to gross firearm negligence. Angie's TikTok @halliebears.mom went viral when she posted a video on "Relationship Red Flags" shortly after the tragic death of her 20 year-old daughter Hallie, and she is now passionate about spreading awareness on this topic in hopes of helping others. Recognizing these red flags could quite literally save your life, so you don't want to miss this interview. Please share it with someone who needs this information. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Let’s be honest - managing relationships with unrepentant people is REALLY hard. It might be one of the most difficult things you’ll have to do. And yet, it can be done by seeing this person with a 3D biblical perspective, not a 2D human perspective. John, Lynn, and Austin explain this distinction and then provide the following practical steps to take in managing an unrepentant person: - Invite them to change - Mirror their behaviors - Implement consequences - Practice healthy detachment, aka love them from a distance At the end of the day you need to remember that true repentance takes time, is extremely rare, and is only possible to achieve by God's grace. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Are you dealing with an unrepentant person? How would you know if you are? John, Shay, and Austin get to the root of an unrepentant heart and it's not a pretty picture.  This episode will help you identify the signs of an unrepentant person such as denial and deflection, and explain why a hardened heart is so difficult to deal with. They also speak personally as to why we resist repentance, and how an unrepentant heart lies at the root of hurtful relationships. When you finish this episode you’ll be better equipped to identify an unrepentant person, as well as be on the lookout for signs of unrepentance in your own heart. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Do you have a toxic in-law situation on your hands? Many families experience stress, broken relationships and years of hurt feelings or misunderstandings. You may even dread family gatherings due to difficult in-laws. This common problem requires diligence in boundary-setting and clarifying roles and expectations, but where do you start? Shay, Lynn and John talk about real life scenarios that address your in-law concerns and offer practical suggestions on how to separate from your parents in healthy ways, while still honoring them. The key is to have a unified front when dealing with difficult in-laws, and this discussion will help you and your partner get on the same page so you can make effective changes towards healthy in-law relationships. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

How well do you get along with your in-laws? This is a touchy subject for many families, as friction or tension with in-law relationships is very common, but hard to navigate. The root of in-law trouble can be traced back to a failure to “leave and cleave”, but this ancient biblical mandate is easier said than done. Most people enter marriage thinking that their partner will always put them first, or that in-law relationships will improve over time, but it doesn’t take long for conflict or division to emerge. Shay, Lynn and John have a lively conversation about what it actually means to leave your parents physically, emotionally, financially and psychologically, and identify the problems that occur when this fails to happen. This episode will help you pay attention to the ways you have, or have not, been able to leave and cleave, and where it may be causing trouble in your in-law relationships. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes. Resources Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage by Susan Forward

With many families, marriages and churches being fractured by narcissistic personalities, the With You in the Weeds team invites notable author and bible teacher, Pastor Erwin Lutzer, to address this difficult topic. Lynn Roush, LPC and Pastor Lutzer have a very honest conversation about the damage done in relationships because of this hurtful personality style.  They also address how to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse through practicing discernment, danger assessment, healthy detachment, healing from dissonance, and becoming a whole person, so you don't want to miss this discussion. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.  Resources Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores by Diane Langberg The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick The First Will Be Last: A Biblical Perspective on Narcissism by DC Robertsson

Do you feel confused, manipulated or controlled in a relationship? Are you looking for spiritual and psychological insight into the complex and painful roots of narcissism? Lynn Roush, LPC and Pastor Erwin Lutzer address the origins of narcissism from a psychological and biblical perspective that provide clarity and crucial information if you find yourself entangled with a difficult person in your life. They discuss the 5 traits of a narcissistic personality, as well as the 5 stages of bonding in a relationship with a narcissistic person which are: 1. Decide on a target and declare love  2. Devalue the person  3. Deploy defense mechanisms 4. Create dissonance and confusion 5. Destroy the person’s sense of Self Resources Buy The Power of a Clear Conscience Book Buy the Why Good People Do Bad Things Book Our guest, Pastor Erwin Lutzer, is best known for his 37 years of pastoring the Moody Church in Chicago, and has authored over 50 books including "Why Good People Do Bad Things" and "The Power of a Clear Conscience". His preaching is heard around the world through his radio program, “Running to Win”. If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

It’s easy to identify what kills a relationship, but much harder to know what ingredients you need to nurture a healthy relationship. John, Lynn, and Austin explain and discuss the 4 Relationship Builders: 1. Practice a gentle start up, instead of criticism. 2. Build a culture of appreciation, instead of contempt. 3. Take ownership of your part in a conflict, instead of getting defensive. 4. Stay engaged, instead of stonewalling. These aren’t pie in the sky sentiments, but instead are solidly researched and biblically based practices that have proven to build relationships. Listen in if you want to begin, and continue, the hard but worthwhile work of building your relationships. When you do, over time you’ll see the fruit of creating Jesus’ kingdom here on earth as he calls us to be kind and tender-hearted towards each other. If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling. These are bad enough on their own, but mix them together and you have a cocktail that will kill any relationship.  This episode is simple: John, Lynn, and Austin give you a mirror to look in and ask yourself, “where are these killers showing up in my relationships?” Afterwards you’ll be able to name, identify, and describe them, which is the first step to change.  If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

If bitterness stops the clock of your life, then forgiveness starts it up again. But what is forgiveness, and what does this mean for you? John, Shay and Austin discuss: 1. What forgiveness is NOT 2. What forgiveness IS 3. The hard realities of forgiveness 4. The costs and benefits of forgiveness Entering a process of forgiveness is never easy, but this discussion will replace flimsy imitations of forgiveness with a picture of the real thing. Learning these principles will normalize how hard it is to forgive, while explaining how freeing it can be. If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

“Bitterness stops the clock of your life.” Do you know a bitter person? If you do then you’ve seen and felt how they are stuck in their anger, resentment, and inability to move beyond hurts and slights from their past.  This person couldn’t be you, could it? Listen in as John, Austin, and Shay discuss: - What bitterness is: Hardened, settled anger and resentment - Where it shows up: In your relationships with others and with God - The causes of bitterness: Hurtful relational circumstances AND powerful spiritual forces - The problems it causes: Blinds, Baits, Burdens, Bleeds over, and Belittles God’s grace If you feel stuck in bitterness and you want to restart the clock of your life, this is the episode for you. If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

If you want to manage a toxic relationship you’re going to need to break some rules, three in particular: 1. Wait for things to get better 2. Try to change the other person 3. Love people unconditionally If you don’t break these rules then you won’t mature and grow in character, you’ll blame others for things that are your responsibility, you will stay reactive instead of proactive, or you’ll jump from one toxic relationship to another. What you’ll need to do instead is face reality and enter into a growth process, work on changing yourself, and love with limits, boundaries, and consequences. If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Who you surround yourself with shapes who you will become. If you want to avoid becoming a toxic person in a hurtful relationship, you’ll want to listen as John and Lynn define and explain the 5 symptoms of toxic relationships: - Harmful words - Selfish ambition/pride - Envy - Manipulation - Deceit When you can recognize these 5 symptoms, not only will you be able to avoid them in your relationships, with God’s help you can prevent them in yourself.  If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Broken trust hurts, but it can be rebuilt. Lynn, Shay, and Austin walk through 5 concrete steps to take when you’ve had trust broken in a relationship:  T - Take a step back R - Reflect on who you’re dealing with U - Understand the impact S - Set boundaries T - Test over time If these steps seem daunting, then you’re in good company because most of us didn’t have this modeled when we were growing up. But it’s never too late to learn something new. Practicing and implementing these 5 steps in your life will slowly but surely add marbles back into your relational jar of trust. If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Trust is the energy that creates and maintains healthy relationships. Without it, your relationships cannot thrive or survive.  Lynn, Shay, and Austin dig deeper into what trust actually is, how it’s built and broken, and the damage broken trust causes in friendships, marriages, jobs and families. If you’re hurting because of broken trust, this episode will normalize your pain and give perspective and explanations as to why this feels so gut-wrenching.  If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

You want to be at peace with everyone, but can every conflict be resolved? Maybe not, but there are 4 key commitments you can make to help you manage conflict in your life. John and Shay explain these 4 commitments and how to apply them in practical ways: 1. Take ownership 2. Practice discernment 3. Set boundaries   4. Persevere If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Why are you in conflict? It’s really simple: you want something. And when you don't get what you want, or your desires are at odds with someone else's, you're in conflict before you know it.  John and Austin discuss 4 questions you need to answer if you want to get to the root conflict in your life: 1. What type of person are you in conflict with? Figuring this out will determine how you approach resolution, or if resolution is even possible.  2. What is this conflict about? Dig below the surface to the deeper issue.  3. How are you engaging in this conflict? Most likely you're either pursuing, attacking or triangulating. 4. How is this conflict impacting you? Being aware of the physiological, emotional and spiritual elements of conflict will enable you to manage it. If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Shame says, "You're disqualified from being loved." But your connection with Jesus means that you are eternally loved, and nothing can separate you from that love. So how should you respond to the shame signal when it shows up? John, Lynn, and Austin explain how we need both connection & correction in order to manage our shame. Learn how this critical framework offers an antidote to the painful experience of shame. Did you find this episode helpful? Then text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Did you know that shame is more than just a painful emotion that affects your self-perception and self-worth? It's an infection of the soul. Yet it's so subtle that it may be hard to recognize. Lynn, John, and Austin explain 5 characteristics of shame to help you learn where and how it may be impacting you: S - Shame is Sneaky H - Shame makes us Hide A - Shame Attacks our personhood M - Shame Magnifies our weaknesses & failures E - Shame Erodes everything If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

There are many Christians who believe that we need guilty feelings and a punishing conscience to help us grow and keep us from sinning. But this is a direct product of our tendency to perform under the law, and is the opposite of what the Bible teaches. Our guilty feelings need to be put under the laser beam of the gospel and analyzed by our Father who loves us. Our conscience may condemn us, and we need to be reminded that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. John and Shay will help you navigate what to do with a guilty conscience and how to bring guilty feelings into the light of God's truth.  Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

An immature person uses anger to bend and shape reality and relationships to meet their demands. A mature person will learn what their anger is showing them and manage it constructively in ways that bring redemption. In light of how important it is for us to mature in our ability to manage anger, John, Lynn and Austin give an overview of how to address anger when it shows up: A - Admit it N - Notice other emotions  G - Get regulated E - Engage Your Story R - Remind, Repair, Repent This episode is practical, hopeful and offers necessary tools for how to manage anger. Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Is being angry a sin? The internal experience of anger is powerful and can feel overwhelming. Yet anger is a natural, God-given emotion that is designed to help us accomplish two things: to protest something bad and protect something good.  But when anger shows up, we may turn into “the hulk” and our anger can become destructive instead of constructive. John and Austin discuss the importance of experiencing anger and why we should let “the hulk” into the room instead of locking the door.  Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

John, Lynn and Shay get into the topic of grieving losses, which may be the most important process we learn in our lifetime. There are 5 principles to grieving including the fact that we can resist grief, but we shouldn’t. Grief involves the need to face reality, the natural desire to protest reality, letting go of what you can’t change, and making room for new things. Grief is a humbling experience, as it puts us in a position of awaiting future restoration, and depending on God’s hopeful promises in our suffering.  Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds_ and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

John and Lynn discuss how sadness is a bittersweet emotion (John’s favorite!), and is necessary for us to experience so we don’t get stuck. We face losses everyday: loss of beauty, health, control, influence, loved ones, hopes and dreams. Our sadness can quickly turn into deep sorrow and anguish when we face devastating loss.  The painful feeling of regret naturally occurs when we look back on the past and replay the events that have taken place, wondering how we could have avoided the pain of things we are powerless to change.  This episode is an insightful and challenging discussion about feelings that we try to avoid, but that can actually connect us more deeply to the heart of God and others. Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds_ and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Are you living in the fog of depression? If so, there are many things to consider, from the physiological components of depression, to distorted thinking, toxic relationships or spiritual hopelessness.  John, Shay and Lynn discuss the art of self-diagnosis when you’re experiencing depression including how to question yourself, reflect on yourself and talk to yourself.  Managing the weeds of depression requires connecting to safe, healthy people who love you, proper self-care and engaging with God even when life feels dark. Did you find this episode helpful? Text and share it with a friend and leave us a rating or review! Follow us @withyouintheweeds_ on Instagram and let us know what topics you’d like to hear us discuss. 

Are you depressed? The truth is, there’s a lot to be depressed about, and God never judges anyone for feeling depressed. That’s why “spiritual bypassing”, or discounting our painful feelings with biblical platitudes is unhelpful. Our team will help you assess what mild to severe depression looks like and discuss the common roots of depression that may stem from our past experiences, a present hardship, or underlying spiritual causes that need to be addressed. We also discuss the topic of suicide because it is a painful and devastating reality connected to depression that cannot be ignored or avoided. Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

We know that anxiety is a normal part of life, so how are we going to manage it? Since there’s no quick fix, we explain a holistic approach to addressing anxiety from spiritual, mental, relational and physiological perspectives. Listen in as we discuss what Jesus says about anxiety, what makes our anxiety worse, why we need self-awareness to “think about our thinking”, and how to implement some easy and effective coping strategies to calm yourself down when you’re anxious. Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Why are we so anxious? We all feel it, but do we know where it’s coming from? Anxiety is a physiological state of uneasiness or distress and is our brain's way of telling us there’s a problem that needs to be solved.  Knowing the source of our anxiety is the first step to managing it! Listen as we discuss the potential root causes of our anxiety, how it shows up in the body and the most common life situations that contribute to anxious feelings. This discussion will help you find where you are on a spectrum of anxiety symptoms so you can identify what you’re experiencing and why. Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Get to know us! We are a team of Christian counselors and pastors who are routinely “in the weeds” with people helping them navigate the hardships of life from a psychological and spiritual perspective.  We want to offer you wisdom and insight from a trusted Christian viewpoint so that you feel normalized in your struggles and equipped to manage the weeds of life. We invite you to listen as we have honest conversations about how to manage your mental health, stress, emotions, spiritual growth, relationships, parenting, marriage and more! Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Why should we pay attention to our emotions? Can’t we just ignore them and hope they go away?  This series, Managing Your Emotions, is going to address unavoidable emotions like anxiety, depression, sadness, anger and shame that we often don't know how to handle, so we need to start by understanding our emotional dashboard. Let’s be honest, in the church we often see two extremes: all facts (head knowledge) or all feelings (gut knowledge). Hint: we need both sides of our brain if we want to build a bridge between our head and heart! Learn why we avoid and resist emotions, and how we can engage them in ways that help us gain wisdom, connect deeply in relationships and grow closer to God.  Did you find this episode helpful? Let us know by leaving a rating or review! Email us at withyou@thecrossingchurch.com with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.