In conversations with fellow parents, Rachel Wright has authentic, funny and sometimes sweary banter about a different kind of parenthood. Her life went off script 16 years ago when her eldest son was born with complex brain damage and severe disabilities. The weather isn’t always what we predicted or want but maybe together we can learn to love the skies we’re under.
Holidays (Same s**t, different location) | S1 | E22
Less support + Less equipment + Less routine + Higher expectations = Holidays
Or as we like to call it, having a different kitchen sink. As ever Rachel, Sarah and Lucy give the slightly sweary warts and all version of life, stresses and loves of parenting a disabled child.
Lucy swears more than normal, spoiler alert (none of us have managed a relaxing summer break yet) and we’re all a bit p****d about all the Instagram spam of leisurely summer family trips away.*
Please rate, review and follow the podcast. You can also DM @bornatrighttime, or email TSWUpodcast@gmail.com
*There is much to be grateful for and we love our children Blah Blah Blah...
Find more about Family Fund for financing holidays here
Find out about Camp Jojo here
#TSWUpodcast #theskieswereunder #valueofeveryone #parenting #disability #disabilityawareness #inclusion #podcast #teamaroundthechild #OT #Physiotherapy #complexneeds #pmld #nursing #specialneeds #specialneedsparenting #autism #learningdisability #cerebralpalsy #epilepsy #livedexperience #communication #coproduction #swearing #laughingisthebestmedicine
9/2/2022 • 56 minutes, 53 seconds
Summer catch-up | S1 | E21
So much has happened since the end of Season 1 we thought you might want a catch-up. Brace yourselves though as not much has gone to plan – nothing new there then!
As ever, just talking and being real with each other helps the big deep breath and sense of not being alone.
8/25/2022 • 48 minutes, 30 seconds
Best bits of Season 1 | S1 | E20
Here we have some of our favourite extracts from Season 1 of The Skies We’re Under podcast. We had to do a ‘best of’ episode because we couldn’t end on episode 19 -that would be all kinds of wrong.
If you’re wondering whether to listen to any of the episodes, here is a sneak peek at some of our truth telling, laughing and the things we’re learning as we trundle along.
Confessions of an optimistic parent
Little white lies
HELP!
Self-care – what it is not
Sex-ed
Pessary gate
Finishing with another entry for out poetry competition
Thank you for coming back week on week. Please share the podcast with your friends, colleagues, or family as there are lots of great episodes for them to listen to.
You can email us at TSWUpodcast@gmail.com or follow @bornatrighttime on Instagram and Facebook. As ever, it would be super helpful if you could rate, review and follow the podcast. That way you will know exactly when we are back – we will see you with season 2.
6/29/2022 • 53 minutes, 40 seconds
That’s a wrap | S1 | E19
It’s our last recorded episode of TSWU podcast. As ever we laugh and cry. We tell you the good, bad and ugly truth of the last few months for us and get excited about the upcoming live tour*.
Thank you for coming back week on week. You don’t need to stop sharing the podcast with your friends, colleagues, or family as there are lots of great episodes for them to listen to.
You can still email us at TSWUpodcast@gmail.com, follow @bornatrighttime on Instagram and Facebook. As ever, it would be super helpful if you could rate, review and follow the podcast so you know exactly when we are back.
*currently there is no live tour but if you want to host us – get in touch.
6/22/2022 • 59 minutes, 54 seconds
“Trust me” | S1 | E18
This episode of The Skies We’re Under podcast Lucy, Rachel and Sarah follow on from last week's topic of trust. They talk about we discover is:
Trust is hard
Trusting takes work on both sides
Trusting someone means being vulnerable
The system which cares for our children is often not trusting nor trustworthy, despite the best efforts of those working within it.
Trust is necessary as the parent of a person with disabilities as trust is necessary when we need others to do something we cannot do alone.
“Don’t put that in your mouth!” poetry competition chosen entry for this week.
We refer to
The thin book of Trust by Charles Feltman
Atlas of the heart by Brene Brown
Thank you for coming back week on week. Please share the podcast with your friends, colleagues, or family as there are lots of great episodes for them to listen to.
You can email us at TSWUpodcast@gmail.com or follow @bornatrighttime on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. As ever, it would be super helpful if you could rate, review and follow the podcast.
6/15/2022 • 1 hour, 13 seconds
Can I really trust anyone? | S1 | E17
Sarah and Rachel (sorry no Lucy today) are on The Skies We’re Under podcast today talking about how their stories have changed the way they trust themselves. They also prod the possible implosion of trusting the idea that everything will turn out just fine. It seems trust is earned and carved from time, actions and energy. It can’t be conjured from a job title, role or sense of responsibility. So how do we nurture trusting ourselves.
Also, we cry laughing and pause recording as we pull ourselves together. Thank you so much for listening to The Skies We’re under podcast from whichever of the 34 different countries you are living in.
To submit your own stories, comments, questions or a poem to the “Don’t put that in your mouth” competition, * you can email the podcast at TSWUpodcast@gmail.com or message us @bornatrighttime on Instagram and Facebook.
It would be wonderful if you could rate, review and follow the podcast from wherever it is you listen along.
*prize pending
6/1/2022 • 45 minutes, 29 seconds
Awards, Pity Prizes and other BS | S1 | E16
This week Rachel, Sarah and Lucy wonder why we label and introduce our children completely differently to anyone else we know. Sarah boasts of her cycling proficiency award while Rachel has ‘musicality’. Who do you think is the most to least competitive amongst us? Listen to find out.
In the podcast we mention the wonderful Rochelle and her blog My Daily Miracle. Tag some other blogs you find helpful as a parent.
And tell us all about:
The awards you won at and since school.
The ways your children been celebrated well?
What categories of awards would you like to see in school?
DM @bornatrighttime, or email TSWUpodcast@gmail.com
#TSWUpodcast #theskieswereunder #valueofeveryone #parenting #disability #disabilityawareness #inclusion #podcast #teamaroundthechild #OT #Physiotherapy #complexneeds #pmld #nursing #specialneeds #specialneedsparenting #autism #learningdisability #cerebralpalsy #epilepsy #livedexperience #communication #coproduction #swearing #laughingisthebestmedicine
5/25/2022 • 47 minutes, 11 seconds
Whose life is it anyway? | S1 | E15
When things go really wrong.
Today, Rachel, Lucy and Sarah discuss a case where the local authority took parents to court for interfering ‘in a combative way’ in relation to the care package for their child.
Tough content as we try to hold onto the fact that every person involved with our families -commissioners, young people, parents, practitioners- is human.
Oh, and an update on Mousegate.
Trigger warning: animals were harmed during the recording of this episode.
Do email us at TSWUpodcast@gmail.com or connect @bornatrighttime in Instagram and Facebook. We would really appreciate it if you could rate, review and follow the podcast to help us keep recording.
Link to the court case discussed https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2021/2844.html
Blog discussing the outcome
http://www.lukeclements.co.uk/a-high-octane-conflict/
Institutionalising parent carer blame
http://www.lukeclements.co.uk/institutionalising-parent-carer-blame/
Working together policy
http://www.lukeclements.co.uk/coroners-criticises-working-together-2018/
Shifting family dynamics
https://oadd.org/journal/volume-27-number-2-changing-social-welfare-provisions-and-shifting-family-dynamics/
5/18/2022 • 39 minutes, 15 seconds
Goldfish Bowl or Gladiator Ring | S1 | E14
Join Rachel, Sarah and Lucy as they continue to unpick notions of battle language and tribalism among parents and professionals.
The labels of ‘unreasonable’ and ‘difficult’ parents, and the lack of humanity when we view professionals purely as part of the system that can be so very challenging.
Oh, and on an entirely unrelated note, Lucy shares her Mousegate story. Actual mouse. In actual house.
Grab a cuppa and come join us.
5/11/2022 • 39 minutes, 49 seconds
Living in a Goldfish Bowl | S1 | E13
Lucy, Rachel and Sarah talk this week on the podcast about living in a goldfish bowl. As we swim around our lives being watched, assessed and scrutinised by many practitioners and services set up to support us.
But what difference does this constant observation have on our lives, our relationships and levels of stress?
We are nearing the end of season 1 of the podcast. If you have a moment, we would really appreciate you taking the time to review, rate and follow the podcast. Then tell anyone who might listen all about it.
For questions, disability hacks or to share your story, you can email TSWUpodcast@gmail.com - we would love to hear from you. If you have any ideas or resources might support us being able to continue the podcast we would also love to hear from you.
5/5/2022 • 48 minutes, 5 seconds
Resilience - Put up and Shut Up | S1 | E12
Lucy, Rachel and Sarah talk this week on the podcast about resilience.
Do we have it?
Do we want it?
Is there a difference between healthy and unhealthy resilience?
There are also confessions of the umbrella-stand-kind and a couple of handy, practical disability hacks.
You can find more information about PATH (Planning alternative tomorrows for hope) here and see the photos we talk about on our Instagram @BornatRightTime.
If you have a moment, we would really appreciate you taking the time to review, rate and follow the podcast. Then tell anyone who might listen all about it! For questions, disability hacks or to share your story, you can email TSWUpodcast@gmail.com - we would love to hear from you.
4/27/2022 • 48 minutes, 43 seconds
Help? No, I’m Fine | S1 | E11
Sarah, Rachel and Lucy laugh, talk and rant a bit about parenting children with disabilities, in particular asking for and getting help. We confess to thinking none of us need it but actually acknowledging we all do. There is a confession of the pessary kind and if you do not laugh during this episode – you might need to be checked out by a doctor.
We cover:
Helpful help
Unhelpful help
The relationship between helping and being helped
And how asking for help isn’t weakness but true connection and the best part of human-ing
Research referenced from Disabled children’s partnership
Simple Stuff Works
Born at the Right Time
4/20/2022 • 53 minutes, 6 seconds
F**king Epilepsy | S1 | E10
Sarah, Rachel and Lucy open up and talk all things epilepsy in today’s podcast. There are no fluffy unicorns or rose-tinted glasses here. We’re real, raw and talking about epilepsy from a parent perspective.
Witnessing it, treating it and living on the brink of when it might strike again. So essentially this episode should just be one big trigger warning. But if you might find it helpful to know you are not treading the epilepsy tightrope alone – listen in as we swear and rant about:
Different types of seizure
Diagnosis
Monitoring epilepsy
SUDEP (Sudden unexpected death in epilepsy)
Medications and other treatments
Making YouTube films of different seizure types
Trigger warning we talk all about Epilepsy and it is traumatic to witness. This conversation includes Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy (SUDEP).
Useful and reputable information
All about epilepsy from NHS
Sami alert (as talked about by Lucy)
SUDEP action
Children epilepsy charity
Different epilepsy monitoring options highlighted in epilepsy UK
4/13/2022 • 52 minutes, 16 seconds
Food Glorious Food, PEGs and alternative feeding | S1 | E9
This week on the podcast we are talking about one of our favourite things - food. For each of our stories though, the way we fed our complex children was quite different. We faced challenges, learned new skills and each time – found an alternative way to keeping our children well fed. Unsurprisingly we continue the irreverent humour and chit chat about:
Breast feeding
Enteral feeding (via tubes into nose, mouth or stomach)
Chemotherapy
The trauma of the health visitor weigh-in clinics
Being told your child needs to be nil-by-mouth
Sensory issues
The statistics we discuss are for the UK and we need to give a trigger warning that in telling our stories we discuss traumatic birth and childhood cancer.
If you are listening to the TSWU use the #TSWUpodcast on social media and tell us where you are, what you think and what you want us to talk about next at TSWUpocast@gmail.com.
4/6/2022 • 59 minutes, 10 seconds
Self-care: Insta v Reality | S1 | E8
This week on the podcast we are talking all things self-care. But obviously it’s more convoluted than that and covers Sarah’s impression of Edward scissor hands, Lucy’s inappropriate massage experience and our lives being the solar system around our children with disabilities.
Sometimes when everything is happening, the Instagram version of self-care is a pipe dream and sometimes self-care is plain uncomfortable and hard. Importantly though we realise that to really look after our own well-being and care for self, first we need to know who our self is and what she/he needs. Maybe it is more about cutting back than adding more - pruning rather than planting
We also share information on;
4th April 2022 is HIE awareness day. Find out more through Peeps.
Racketys disabled clothing
M&S easy dressing range
Uribag portable urinal
Follow and connect with the podcast through Instagram, Facebook and twitter via @bornatrighttime
If you are listening to the TSWU, use the #TSWUpodcast on social media and tell us where you are, what you think and what you want us to talk about next.
You can email us at TSWUpodcast@gmail.com.
#selfcare #TSWUpodcast #theskieswereunder #parenting #disability #disabilityawareness #inclusion #podcast #teamaroundthechild #OT #Physiotherapy #complexneeds #specialneeds #specialneedsparenting #autism #learningdisability #cerebralpalsy #epilepsy #livedexperience #communication #coproduction #swearing #laughingisthebestmedicine
3/30/2022 • 49 minutes, 50 seconds
Mum guilt and more | S1 | E7
It is our second week of guilt and this week we chat about;
· ‘Mum guilt’
· Managing roles & expectations versus reality
· Self-compassion
· And some of our anti-dotes to guilt
There is of course the usual irreverent banter along the way.
You can help the podcast by rate, reviewing and following wherever you get your podcasts. We would also love it if you joined in the conversation, sending your questions, thoughts and comments to TSWUpodcast@gmail.com
3/23/2022 • 31 minutes, 28 seconds
Guilt with a side helping of Guilt | S1 | E6
This week Rachel, Sarah and Lucy discuss the big ol’ topic of guilt in all its formats. Mum guilt. Carer guilt. All the guilt. Who knew parents of disabled children felt guilty? Shocker. In fact, we started talking and realised we have waaaay too much to say on the topic, so this is the first of a two parter. You’re welcome.
We try and untangle guilt versus shame, and think about how our personalities and lived experiences might shape our perception and experiences of guilt. Spoiler alert: Rach feels guilty for sending her son to school in costume on the wrong day. Lucy thinks it’s hilarious.
As ever- smiles, banter, and real authentic life stuff.
If you like our podcast, it would make a huge difference if you could rate, review and follow wherever you get your podcasts. And please feel free to join in the conversation, sending your questions, thoughts and comments to TSWUpodcast@gmail.com
3/16/2022 • 35 minutes, 59 seconds
“How to get her off” and Other Relationship Advice | S1 | E5
In this week’s podcast Rachel, Sarah and Lucy are supposed to be talking about relationships but somehow it includes:
Confession of an optimistic parent
EHCPs wormholes
Sex Ed
‘Would you believe?’ the scrutiny of parents giving their child blended diets
How our relationship with ourselves, partners and others have changed
In response to a question from a listener we talk about Em and friends cards
https://emandfriends.com/
Because we are three parents doing this in our own time whilst juggling our work, families and children with complex needs, we are going to have to skip a week.
The podcast will be back in 2 weeks when we will be talking about grief.
It would make such a difference to us if you could rate, review and follow the podcast wherever you listen and be sure to send us your questions, thoughts and suggestions to TSWUpodcast@gmail.com
3/3/2022 • 52 minutes, 24 seconds
Fridge Magnets and Faith | S1 | E4
In this week’s podcast Rachel, Sarah and Lucy talk about trying to make sense of life using fridge magnets and faith. Listen to hear:
Them talk about the different sayings they hate (and love)
Whether there is a God and if she's any help at all
A conversation about what they find helpful in trying to stay emotionally well
Practical ways friends can help those who are going through a tough time
In the podcast we share information about meal planner apps like https://takethemameal.com/
Positive family connections positivefamilies@warwick.ac.uk
Simple Stuff Works www.simplestuffworks.com
Next week the theme is all about relationships.
2/23/2022 • 50 minutes, 49 seconds
Pre-launch Episode
Introducing The Skies We're Under podcast launching on 2nd February 2022