TIRED OF THE LIES AND THE SPIN perpetuated in the culture about men, women, sex and love? Does the relentless gender propaganda make you feel as if you’re going mad? If so, get ready to hear hard-hitting truths about women and men that will make you cry out “Yes! Finally someone tells the truth!” The Suzanne Venker Show brings a wealth of wisdom from authors, educators, psychologists and others who aren’t afraid to admit what the culture won’t. https://www.suzannevenker.com/ https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
Ep. 195: Is more relationship experience really better?
Don’t marry the first person you fall in love with. The more relationship experience you have before getting married, the better. That way you'll really “know” yourself when you say, ‘I do.’
For decades this has been the relationship narrative passed on to the young and unattached. But my experience as a relationship coach suggests the opposite is true.
So does the data.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ6WXvBvwWE
https://themattwalshblog.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/heres-some-honest-dating-advice/comment-page-1/
2/1/2024 • 19 minutes
Ep. 194: How to Stop Overachieving
Overachieving is defined as the unrelenting drive for high performance, and women are drowning in this phenomenon. Suzanne reads from an article in the Wall Street Journal that explains how overachieving is a form of self-protection that is harmful to our physical and mental health and outlines three strategies to help women stop overachieving.
LINK:
https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness/for-happiness-in-the-new-year-stop-overdoing-everything-6b9a4b99
MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/
1/25/2024 • 22 minutes, 20 seconds
Ep. 193. Should Boomers help raise their millennial kids’ kids?
Boomers are out enjoying retirement, and some millennials are feeling abandoned by their parents who are too busy to help raise their kids. Suzanne offers her take on this topic.
MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/
1/18/2024 • 17 minutes, 23 seconds
Ep. 192. Lies our daughters believe
Suzanne discusses the lies women have been fed and unearths the hard truths they need to know in order to help them construct happier lives.
IN THIS EPISODE:
What happens to women around the age of 30
Why marriage is more important than career
Why women are not emboldened by providing but men are
LINK:
https://www.foxnews.com/media/woman-30s-cries-describing-finally-wanting-kids-after-swearing-off-marriage-betrayed-feminism
MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/
1/11/2024 • 13 minutes, 40 seconds
Quick message from Suzanne!
Merry Xmas, Everyone! I'm working on lots of things for the new year and may need to skip a week or two. But I'll be back with a bang!
12/22/2023 • 35 seconds
Ep. 191: 5 Gen X Tips for Raising Kick-Ass Kids
Dr. Scott Gordon is a relationship coach and author affiliated with the Dad Starting Over organization. He focuses on masculine polarity and maintaining a balance of the lover/provider roles in marriage. He also specializes in repairing dead or dull bedrooms. Today he and I talk about raising countercultural kids so they can become independent minded, self-sustaining adults. We discuss:
Leading by example
Raising boys and girls differently
How to avoid being helicopter parents
How to create a family that functions as a team
How to slow down
MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/
12/21/2023 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 54 seconds
Ep 190. Mothering is more than enough
Suzanne reads emails from new mothers who feel like they're not doing enough by being at home with their babies.
MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/
12/14/2023 • 13 minutes, 51 seconds
Ep. 189. Love & Money Series: The best thing you can do for your marriage is to fight about money
Suzanne talks with family law attorney Bernadette Barbee about financial infidelity in marriage and what money conflicts in marriage are really about.They both then describe what financial FIDELITY looks like in a strong marriage.IN THIS EPISODE:
the damage of having "his" and "her" accounts
"girl math" vs. real math
hiding money vs. transparency
out-of-control spending
MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES?
Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/
12/7/2023 • 54 minutes, 50 seconds
188. What’s Really Going between Mom and Baby in the First Three Years
Babies need constant nurturing in the early years. They are completely helpless and utterly dependent on their mothers—and not just to feed them and change their diapers. So many people think this is all that goes on during this stage, and they could not be more wrong.
Suzanne takes listeners on a journey to see what's really going on behind the scenes when Mom is home with her baby.
11/30/2023 • 16 minutes, 44 seconds
Ep. 187: How can I get my husband to see the significance of my staying home?
Have you (or has someone you know) had to convince your husband to live on less so you can stay home with the baby? If so, you’re in good company.
LINKS:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2354917591429890https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/
11/16/2023 • 23 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep. 186: Single motherhood is NOT the answer to the lack of marriageable men
More and more women are choosing to have children and remain single. When these women are asked why, most say it’s not that they don’t want to get married but that there are no longer any marriageable men from which to choose.
The so-called "rise" of women and lack of marriageable (read: gainfully employed) men is the #1 reason marriage in America has tanked.
In this week's episode, Suzanne discusses 4 things Americans MUST begin to do if we ever expect to turn this mess around.
Links:
https://www.suzannevenker.com/the-war-on-men-ebook/
https://www.npr.org/2023/10/22/1207322878/single-parent-married-good-for-children-inequality
https://www.foxnews.com/media/economist-makes-data-driven-case-stable-two-parent-households-clear-kids-benefit.amp
11/9/2023 • 13 minutes, 54 seconds
Ep. 185: Building a Family Friendly Life
Is it possible to combine raising a family with the pursuit of a career? Does it have to be all or nothing? Suzanne reads an email from a woman who wants to know how to stay home with her baby but also be able to work part time and utilize her creative energy professionally.
11/2/2023 • 18 minutes, 36 seconds
Quick Announcement
Suzanne explains about some goings-on behind the scenes that are causing a bit of a gap in production.
10/19/2023 • 2 minutes, 25 seconds
BONUS EP: "I'm raising great kids, but I still feel like a failure."
Suzanne reads a letter from one of her coaching clients.
10/16/2023 • 13 minutes, 50 seconds
Ep. 184: Ideas for How to Live on Less
Suzanne reads a letter from a woman whose parents don't support her staying home with her babies and offers tips on how to live on less for those who are trying to save more money or move from two incomes to one.
10/12/2023 • 35 minutes, 19 seconds
BONUS EP: Q&A: Suzanne reads listener emails and answers questions
Q&A: Suzanne reads listener emails and answers questions
10/7/2023 • 17 minutes, 26 seconds
Ep. 183: Dismantling the lies feminists tell
Suzanne goes into greater detail to debunk the arguments Ellen Lamont made in the debate Suzanne did with her several weeks ago.
https://munkdebates.com/podcasts/traditional-gender-role-in-marriage/
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/05/29/breadwinner-moms/
https://ifstudies.org/blog/husbands-with-much-higher-incomes-than-their-wives-have-a-lower-chance-of-divorce-https://www.npr.org/2015/02/08/384695833/what-happens-when-wives-earn-more-than-husbands
https://www.washington.edu/news/2013/01/29/more-sex-for-married-couples-with-traditional-divisions-of-housework/
https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/countries-with-less-gender-equity-have-more-women-in-stem-huh/
10/5/2023 • 37 minutes, 31 seconds
BONUS EP: A note of warning to young women from "a highly educated, career-driven woman"
Suzanne reads a letter from one of her listeners.
9/30/2023 • 10 minutes, 15 seconds
Ep. 182: Do NOT get married without first going through "The List"!
Suzanne discusses 9 topics couples should address before they get engaged. They are:
1. View of marriage as an institution
2. View on God/religion
3. Geography
4. Work/family plan
5. Money
6. Willingness to address conflict
7. Ability to set boundaries
8. Relationship history
9. Vacations
9/28/2023 • 36 minutes, 37 seconds
Ep. 180. "You need to hire a man." w/ Special Guest Liz Durham
Suzanne talks with Liz Durham of Being Different about the position employers are in when it comes to investing in young women who have not had children yet, and the likelihood that they will leave once that happens.
"My soon-to-be-husband is a software engineer and works from home. I can forsee potential challenges. What are your thoughts on both spouses working from home together?"
"I have a one-year-old and a two-year-old, and they are going to daycare two days a week from 7 to 4. Home with mom or dad the rest of the days. We have no family or friends to help. Can this arrangement flourish for healthy marriage and children?"
"Help! I want to stay home with her children, but my husband doesn't agree."
"What are your thoughts about the cry it out method?"
"Is it possible for some men to have a lower sex drive than women? My husband rarely wants sex."
9/11/2023 • 29 minutes, 3 seconds
Ep. 179: Politically Incorrect Data on Daycare
Suzanne is back and talks about the response to her recent interview and video on daycare—and shares the politically incorrect data on this subject that she unearthed twenty years ago when she wrote her first book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDPFu9-SqFk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhJFfU2OxPg
9/7/2023 • 43 minutes, 10 seconds
Quick Announcement!
I'll be back soon.
8/8/2023 • 32 seconds
Taking the month of July off!
Suzanne is taking the month of July off and will be back in August.
7/7/2023 • 1 minute, 1 second
Ep 178. How to Nest in a Culture That Wants You to Earn
If you're struggling with modern motherhood, you do not want to miss this episode. I brought back Liz Durham (host of the podcast Being Different), who has transitioned from being a full-time working mom to a full-time SAHM. She and I offer a countercultural guide for younger women who've been raised at a time in which motherhood has been sidelined or even rejected altogether.
We discuss (among other things):
How dumping the 50-50 mindset will make the experience lighter.
How it takes a family, not a "village," to raise healthy kids.
That motherhood isn't about you.
The significance of the first three years
How to embrace the discomfort and the unknown
How to deal with isolation
Why daycare can't provide discipline
7/6/2023 • 54 minutes, 35 seconds
Ep. 177: L&M SERIES: Is money the monster under your marital bed?
Money remains the #1 cause of marital conflict and divorce. But money conflict is never about money itself. It’s about power and control vs. trust, and often it’s about mismatched values.
In this episode, Suzanne discusses three major money mistakes modern couples make and the conversations married couples need to have about money if they want a less roommate-like and more intimate relationship with their spouse.
6/29/2023 • 35 minutes, 1 second
Ep. 176: 6 Damn Good Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage
In this episode, Suzanne offers six powerful ways to divorce proof your marriage. They include:
Take divorce off the table.
Lower your expectations.
Dump the concept of equality.
Learn each other's love language.
Keep dating.
Don't let resentment settle in.
6/22/2023 • 29 minutes, 35 seconds
175. LOVE & MONEY SERIES: How to Be in a Relationship When the Roles Are Reversed
How can couples deal with the changing sexual dynamic that’s happening all over the Western world as we speak?
Suzanne is joined by former coaching client, Lauren Taylor, to discuss this very timely and culturally charged subject.
IN THIS EPISODE:
Lauren's story
The share of women out-earning their husbands has tripled over the last 50 years, from 5% to 16% (Pew Research Center)
Married women think about breadwinning differently than the way married men do
How to manage the money
How sex is affected
Parents' concern that their daughters are outperforming their boyfriends
Solutions for those in a role reversal, or how to make the relationship more balanced
6/15/2023 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 11 seconds
Ep. 174: The Unique Sexual Drives of Husbands and Wives
There’s not a married couple on the planet who doesn't know that life gets in the way of having an ideal sex life. Many events that occur are out of our control and often derail our desire.
Babies come along. Family members die. Careers shift or stall or in some cases become too all-consuming to where couples rarely
see each other.
But if you and your spouse both want a better sex life, you can absolutely have it.
IN THIS EPISODE:
The things that turn men on and off
The things that turn women on and off
The role of resentment in your sex life
6/8/2023 • 36 minutes, 37 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: 3 reasons women aren't having babies
Have economic and social obstacles become deterrents to having children? According to a recent article in the WSJ, yes. And there are three reasons.
6/6/2023 • 13 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep. 173: Is multitasking undermining your marriage?
Suzanne explains why multitasking undermines our relationships and offers tips for developing our monotasking muscles.
6/1/2023 • 26 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep.172: LOVE & MONEY SERIES: Money Beliefs You Bring to Your Marriage
Suzanne's husband Bill joins her to talk about their respective backgrounds as it pertains to money and what they believe is mandatory for having a healthy marital relationship with money.
5/25/2023 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 15 seconds
Ep. 171: Why does my wife DO that? Part 2 (with Andre Paradis)
Suzanne brings relationship coach Andre Paradis back on the show to help couples better understand sexual dynamics as they are designed to be, versus the role reversal couples are contending with today. Men are made to be providers and protectors and are not cut out for emotional warfare with women. Thus, when women behave in a way that feels combative, men often back down. But this is the wrong response.
5/18/2023 • 52 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep. 170: Why does my wife DO that? Part 1 (with Andre Paradis)
Suzanne brings relationship coach Andre Paradis back on the show to help couples better understand sexual dynamics as they are designed to be, versus the role reversal couples are contending with today. Men are made to be providers and protectors and are not cut out for emotional warfare with women. Thus, when women behave in a way that feels combative, men often back down. But this is the wrong response.
5/11/2023 • 45 minutes, 49 seconds
BONUS EPISODE Q&A: What's your greatest relationship frustration?
Suzanne answers questions from listeners, email subscribers, and even former coaching clients about their biggest relationship concerns.
5/8/2023 • 21 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep. 169: LOVE & MONEY SERIES: Money avoidance has become the norm for millennials and Gen Zers
Suzanne addresses the greatest problem with the younger generation's lack of success with love and money.
IN THIS EPISODE:
the real reason millennials are depressed and broke
why millennials and GenZers are mapping out their lives backward
why avoidance is toxic for your relationship
ARTICLE REFERENCED: https://www.wsj.com/articles/young-people-avoid-facing-their-finances-more-than-ever-e853910e
5/4/2023 • 26 minutes, 56 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: The #1 reason life is so much harder for the younger generations
Suzanne explains why social media and FOMO (fear of missing out) is so harmful and offers tips on how to deal with this new world we live in.
5/1/2023 • 19 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep. 168: PARENTING SERIES: How to raise kids the old-fashioned way (Special Guest: Suzanne’s husband Bill)
Suzanne laments the recent poll which shows that family and religion (and other classic values) have receded in importance to Americans, while the one value that has risen in importance is money.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/americans-pull-back-from-values-that-once-defined-u-s-wsj-norc-poll-finds-df8534cd
4/27/2023 • 45 minutes, 31 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: "Just Quit Your Damn Job!": A Cheat Code for Motherhood
Suzanne reads a letter from a married millennial mom who has chosen to stay home with her children despite living in a high cost of living area and despite having a Ph.D. from Harvard.
4/24/2023 • 14 minutes
Ep. 167: The massive surge in breadwinning wives makes marriage much more difficult
According to a new report by Pew Research, American women are increasingly becoming the breadwinners in their marriages. But they're also taking on the lion's share of household chores and childcare.
Are their husbands just lazy, or is there more going on than what the media would have us believe?
Pew study: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-husbands-and-wives-earn-about-the-same/
4/20/2023 • 38 minutes, 30 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: Is a college degree worth it?
Suzanne responds to a new poll that shows more and more Americans say college isn't worth the cost.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/americans-are-losing-faith-in-college-education-wsj-norc-poll-finds-3a836ce1
4/17/2023 • 8 minutes, 31 seconds
Ep. 166: How do I know for sure if he or she is The One?
Suzanne discusses the most important things to consider when deciding whether or not to marry the man or woman you love.
4/13/2023 • 41 minutes, 5 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: Is it okay to have a work wife?
Suzanne responds to a study about whether or not it's okay to have a "work spouse."
https://www.businessinsider.com/gen-z-boomers-work-wives-millennials-disagree-husband-2023-4?amp
4/10/2023 • 8 minutes, 29 seconds
Ep. 165: How to Fight with Your Spouse (and Not Worry About Getting Divorced)
Suzanne talks about the 4 Cs of every relationship and hones in on the one that goes couples the most trouble: Communication. She offers tips for how to fight productively with your spouse and gives examples of what couples should NEVER do.
4/6/2023 • 45 minutes, 4 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: What Type A women can learn from Reese Witherspoon's divorce
Suzanne discusses the reality of how being overly ambitious, or Type A, can ruin your marriage or relationship.
4/5/2023 • 18 minutes, 52 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: Behind the Scenes of My Marriage—and Possibly Yours, Too
As Suzanne and her husband celebrate 25 years of marriage, she reflects on what ultimately makes a marriage last. (Hint: The answer isn't all that sexy.)
4/3/2023 • 13 minutes, 21 seconds
Ep. 164: 6 Modern Marriage Problems—and How to Solve Them
Suzanne talks about the six most common marriage problems she has seen over the past several years in her coaching sessions and provides answers for how to cope with them.
Article referenced in episode: https://www.westernsouthern.com/money-conversations-before-marriage
3/30/2023 • 39 minutes, 58 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: What would you do if the other parents around you aren't disciplining their kids?
Suzanne answers a question from a stay-at-home mother of a 4 1/2 year old boys whose friends have parents who won't discipline them.
3/28/2023 • 10 minutes, 18 seconds
Ep. 163: PARENTING SERIES (with Suzanne's husband Bill): Tips for Effectively Disciplining Your Kids
Suzanne and her husband Bill talk about what it really means to "discipline" children and offer tips for how to do so effectively.
3/23/2023 • 41 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep. 162: The fights you're avoiding are the ones you need to have
Suzanne breaks down the three different types of marital (or relationship) conflict—conflict avoidance, high-conflict, and constructive conflict—and how couples can move toward the latter.
3/16/2023 • 27 minutes, 37 seconds
Ep. 161: Red Flags & Non-Negotiables for Unmarried Women AND MEN
Suzanne discusses the red flags and non-negotiables all unmarried women and men should watch for while dating.
3/9/2023 • 41 minutes, 38 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: Suzanne reads letters from listeners
Suzanne reads several emails from her listeners.
3/6/2023 • 19 minutes, 50 seconds
Ep. 160: The Secular Case Against Shacking Up
Suzanne explains why living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend with whom the future is unclear is just dumb.
3/2/2023 • 20 minutes, 26 seconds
Ep. 159: How to be a woman when you've been groomed to be the man
Suzanne talks with a client who left her high-paying job to stay home with her two children and what she came to realize about the lies the culture tells women.
IN THIS EPISODE:
Liz's wake-up call
The transition from woman to mother
How to be a wife
Social media's influence on marriage and motherhood
The true cost of being raised "like a man"
2/23/2023 • 53 minutes, 3 seconds
Ep. 158: The ridiculous idea that daycare is perfectly harmless
Suzanne tackles the very sensitive topic of daycare and how it can't possibly meet the irreducible needs of children.
IN THIS EPISODE:
Why neither political party cares about this issue
5 myths about daycare
Attachment theory
ADHD as a stress reaction, not a disorder
Why guilt is a good thing
2/16/2023 • 38 minutes, 48 seconds
BONUS FOLLOW UP to Ep. 157: American parents have groomed their children to fail at love
Suzanne refers to a comment Bret Weinstein made to Jordan Peterson on an Instagram reel and connects it to the Pew study she discussed in Ep. 157: 6 Super Solid Reasons for Women to Prioritize Love Over Career
2/10/2023 • 8 minutes, 52 seconds
Ep. 157: 6 super solid reasons for women to prioritize love over career
Suzanne implodes the idea that women should focus exclusively on career and "worry about marriage later."
2/9/2023 • 31 minutes, 30 seconds
Ep. 156: The Suzanne Venker Show is BACK!
Suzanne announces her return to The Suzanne Venker Show. As always, you can reach Suzanne with your comments, questions, or suggestions at suzanne@thesuzannevenkershow.com.
1/30/2023 • 4 minutes, 35 seconds
155. An Important Update from Suzanne
In this episode, I share an announcement about the future of The Suzanne Venker Show.
6/7/2022 • 3 minutes, 32 seconds
154. 6 Ways to Win Your Wife’s Heart (and Get Great Sex to Boot)
Suzanne talks exclusively to men about how to be great husbands and outlines six ways to win their wives' hearts.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Show up.
Look her in the eyes with no distractions when you're having a serious conversation.
Never stop romancing her.
Listen and be open to anything she wants to say without being defensive.
Don’t follow—lead.
5/24/2022 • 25 minutes, 29 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: “We’ve been together 8 years. Should I wait or move on?”
Suzanne answers a listener question.
5/20/2022 • 4 minutes, 57 seconds
153. How to Embrace Marital Conflict
There isn’t a person on this planet who can avoid relationship conflict (unless, of course, you remain single.) In fact, if you’re someone who hates confrontation, you're going to struggle to be in a marriage or relationship at all—until or unless you learn how to embrace conflict.
Suzanne discusses why it's critical for couples to embrace conflict and offers six tips for having hard conversations with your spouse.
________
STUDY referenced in this episode: "Couples who argue together, stay together, study finds
Dr. Warren Farrell's Couples' Communication Course: https://communication.warrenfarrell.com/role-mate-to-soul-mate-course/
5/17/2022 • 35 minutes, 30 seconds
BONUS EPISODE:"How can I convince my bf that living together is a bad idea?"
Suzanne answers an email from a woman who asks how to explain to her bf that living together is a bad idea.
5/13/2022 • 8 minutes, 44 seconds
152. MONEY & MARRIAGE SERIES: What Millennials Get Ridiculously Wrong About Money and Marriage
Suzanne explains what millennials get wrong when it comes to money and marriage.
According to a 2021 Fidelity Investments Survey, one in five couples aged 25 and older who are either married or in a relationship identify money as their greatest relationship challenge.
Over 50% of millennials don’t want to get married “until their finances are in order.” Suzanne discusses why this is the wrong approach.
Why being a TEAM, as opposed to living like roommates, is the surefire path to financial success when you're married
Why being equal partners doesn't have to mean performing the same tasks
NEW STUDY: "Pooling finances and relationship satisfaction" concludes that couples who pool all of their money, compared to couples who keep some or all of their money separate, experience greater relationship satisfaction and are less likely to break up.
5/3/2022 • 36 minutes, 56 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: Can feminism trump female desire?
Suzanne reads Dennis Prager's recent column, "What the Left Has Done to Women's Desires," and adds a sixth example of how feminist ideology has undermined women's desires and even their common sense.
4/22/2022 • 14 minutes, 16 seconds
151. The Ideal Age to Get Married
Suzanne discusses the advantages of women marrying earlier rather than later.
Women's priorities change as they age
The problem with the "finding oneself" argument
Men's and women's different dating strategies
Why whom to marry is the most important decision we'll ever make
A new report shows almost half of young people want to marry on the younger side: "Is Marrying Later Always Better? New Report Says No."
New research showing that after age 32, the odds of divorce increase by 5% per year: https://ifstudies.org/blog/want-to-avoid-divorce-wait-to-get-married-but-not-too-long
4/19/2022 • 32 minutes, 40 seconds
150. ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm taking a break from The Suzanne Venker Show
Hey Everyone, I will be taking a break from The Suzanne Venker Show while I build two online courses.
In the meantime, you can find me on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram; and I will continue to correspond w my subscribers on a weekly basis. If you're not currently a subscriber, you can sign up here.
I also am still offering marriage/relationship coaching for single sessions only. You can find more information here: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/#marriage-coaching-how-it-works
As always, I can be reached at suzanne@thesuzannevenkershow.com
See you all soon!
1/16/2022 • 3 minutes, 37 seconds
149. Stop Trying to Have Sex Like a Man!
Suzanne talks about how casual sex affects women drastically different than it affects men.
IN THIS EPISODE:
1:20 Suzanne reads from Loose Girl, a book that analyzes in great detail the emotions that accompany what most young women experience when they engage in casual sex
2:27 The average guy who partakes in casual sex doesn't ruminate over who he has sex with or why he did it
3:00 Many young women have sex to feel attractive and desirable
4:30 Feeling used, or like a “booty call,” is the number one experience for women who have casual sex
5:00 Biology dictates that women carry the brunt of sexual risk while men wield the sexual power
5:25 The relationship between women and men took a nosedive when women (en masse) began having sex “like a man”— casually, with no commitment.
6:20 In generations past, commitment always preceded sex
8:10 Sex for women is NOT the same as it is for men
8:30 Even the most sexually liberal woman is surprised to learn she cannot detach the way men can
10:00 Suzanne reads stories from women who've had a lot of casual sex
17:25 A hookup doesn’t lead to the relationships women crave (MeToo movement)
18:50 - It's modern gender norms, not traditional ones, that have lead to the problems between men and women regarding casual sex
20:20 The MeToo Movement speaks to women's weakness to casual sex
1/9/2022 • 22 minutes, 56 seconds
148. 10 Reasons Modern Love Is a Mess—and What to Do About It
A new Gallup poll shows that America’s trust in media has dipped to second lowest on record. This is such a massive divide in our country that I don’t personally think is going to get better. People are so far apart in terms of their worldviews that there’s just no common ground anymore,
I wish there was better news about the state of love and marriage, but there’s no question that marriage is on its way out as being the norm in America, which means countless relationships will continue to struggle as we move more and more away from a family first mentality, toward a more individualistic society.
So that’s the bad news. The good news is that just bc other people are going to struggle in finding the love and security they seek doesn’t mean you have to as well. Here are ten of the most pressing reasons modern love is such a mess—and what you can do about it:
#1: Your marriage mindset: Why your mindset is significant as to whether your relationship will stand the test of time.
#2: Prioritizing money and career over love: People have been encouraged to pursue the wrong thing! What are the effects on dating, marriage and family?
#3: The undeniable influence of feminism in our culture: Women have been taught to fight biology at every cost.
#4: Believing you can have it all at once You have to accept each stage of life for what it is and you cannot have everything you want (high-powered career, family, marriage) all at once.
#5: Not living near family: because we are a transient society, women don’t typically have family around when they have children and therefore, no help in raising them.
#6: The decline in religion: People who attend church regularly marry at much higher rates.
#7: How young people in particular think about money: Young people come to the table with a “his” and “hers” mentality. This is not marriage.
#8: The proliferation of social media: You are inundated with temptations and comparisons all day long as a social media user.
#9: Women's ridiculously high expectations: Womens’ high expectations are impeding their ability to find and sustain love.
#10: Our anti-male, anti-marriage culture
1/2/2022 • 40 minutes, 31 seconds
147. Merry Christmas from Suzanne!
Merry Christmas, Everyone! Here are a couple of updates related to emails from readers/listeners, long-term coaching and more!
12/19/2021 • 3 minutes, 5 seconds
146. Is Porn Ruining Your Relationship?: Quit Porn Strategist King David
"King David" is a young man with a big dream: to burn down the $97 billion worldwide porn industry, one man at a time.
King David is the world’s only Quit Porn Strategist. His history with porn dates to his teenage years and before; and though he's out of his teens now, every year more young men are still discovering the world of porn. David wants to help them find the exit. His website is https://enroll.quitpornstrategies.com/.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:25 David's story
19:30 Porn is a drug
21:00 Porn increases dopamine and is a super-stimulus, which is why it's so appealing
25:25 You don't watch porn because you're horny; you watch it because you're hurting
25:40 There's a difference between wanting to have sex and wanting to watch porn
28:20 Asking yourself why and getting to the root of it is crucial to get rid of any addiction
30:00 You have to actually VOCALIZE to yourself about why you want to watch porn
35:00 Young men growing up w/ porn do not realize that that's not what sex with a woman is truly like
35:40 How porn changes your view of sex and women
38:30 Women feel like they're being objectified when their man uses porn
39:40 How can a husband determine if he’s done w/ porn for good? And how will a woman know when he really is done watching porn?
42:00 Men and women need to understand what each other needs sexually
44:50 If you're married and you have to think about porn when you have sex, you have a problem!
46:10 It is NOT TRUE that porn is good for you and your relationship
47:00 38% of millennial women (under 40) have experienced choking, gagging, or spitting during consensual intercourse
49:00 With porn you always need more “exciting” and “more extreme”
50:20 There's no communication in porn
51:50 One-third of all porn viewers are women
52:30 Women need to know that men don’t turn to porn because YOU as a woman lack something
56:40 Couples need to communicate about sex
59:00 David's 31-day Quit Porn Mastery Program
12/12/2021 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 28 seconds
145. How to Tell Your Husband You Want to Stay Home
Suzanne talks to women who want to stay home with their babies and who have to convince their husbands that it's the right thing to do.
12/5/2021 • 34 minutes, 31 seconds
144. Announcement from Suzanne
Suzanne makes an announcement about the new schedule for The Suzanne Venker Show.
Make sure you subscribe to the YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/SuzanneVenkerAuthor
Question #1 - Suzanne reads an email from Mark who describes how women are mistaken to think having a diploma is enticing to men on its own and how that's not the issue with women having trouble finding high-status men.
Question #2 - Suzanne answers questions from a young woman who is in a serious relationship, and they are looking to move in together. Both come from broken homes.
- How do I get him to propose without nagging him?
- My boyfriend’s family has a history with alcoholism. Am I right to worry about this and how it could affect our marriage in the future?
- How do I bring up the fact I want to be a stay-at-home mom?
11/30/2021 • 25 minutes, 8 seconds
142. Unapologetically Male: Anthony Dream Johnson
When was the last time you heard something positive in the media about men? It could be in the news, or in a commercial, or in a television program, or in a film. Yeah, that’s what I thought. And when was the last time you read a magazine article or a novel in which a man was not at the root of a woman’s problem? I’m guessing I’m hearing crickets right about now.
Today I’m talking to CEO and entrepreneur Anthony Dream Johnson, aka President of the Manosphere.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:20 Feminism is the religion of modern women
7:00 What is the mission of “Make Women Great Again”?
9:00 What IS the Manosphere?
10:00 MRA’s + MGTOW + Pick up artists + Red Pill
15:00 Suzanne and Anthony find common ground by talking about the issues from a secular point of view
23:40 The general public need to start speaking up
25:40 Feminism has weakened both sexes and has destroyed the relationship between the sexes
28:50 Most women do not realize they're living according the feminist values
29:00 Universities, courts, governments, etc. are ruled by feminism
31:05 What's a good comeback when people say feminism is about “equal rights”?
36:50 Women are typically around 30 when they’re ready to hear “the truth”
44:50 What is 21 Studios? What is the 21 Convention? What is 21 University?
52:50 Who or what is the ideal man?
1:00:00 What happened with Good Morning Britain and Piers Morgan?
1:09:10 How did Anthony get the middle name of “DREAM”?
1:11:55 Infighting among men in the Manosphere: How to weed out the frauds
11/28/2021 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 4 seconds
Happy Thanksgiving!
Hello Dear Listeners, We are taking a short break for Thanksgiving. We will be back with a new episode this Sunday, November 28th. This upcoming episode is a long-form interview with Anthony Dream Johnson, President of the Manosphere. Make sure you tune in.
Become a supporter of The Suzanne Venker Show here: https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
11/23/2021 • 38 seconds
Ep. 141: The Renaissance of Men: Will Spencer
Something is happening in the world of men: a global awakening, a time of rediscovery, a rebirth. Men around the world are drawing on the best of masculinity from all of time to redefine what it means to be a man—on their terms. Stanford grad Will Spencer is on a mission to help men learn what it means to be a man and to grab their masculinity with gusto
"For thousands of years, men’s mutual improvement happened around a campfire. Tribal chiefs instructed the young men, who tested each other to build prestige and skill." Our society lost this long ago, says Will, and he's on a mission to bring it back.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:05 What is the “Renaissance of Men”? and the history of the Manosphere?
12:50 Women’s liberation had a lot of cascading effects we don’t realize
18:30 What does it mean to be a man?
19:15 Why did Will start The Renaissance of Men?
20:10 Our beliefs about ourselves shape the course of our lives
21:40 What is masculinity?
25:30 Victim ideology hurts no one more than the person who holds that mentality
26:30 People who remain in a victim mindset remain weak
27:10 Men are isolated, and male only spaces are few
29:00 Women have shaming power over men
30:50 Men will hide who they are to keep peace in the home
33:00 Women do not realize how much they are emasculating their husbands
40:40 What should men’s relationship standards be?
42:00 Will discusses his own previous long-term relationship
45:35 It's okay to NOT want to marry a career woman
48:15 You have to marry someone who has the same priorities
50:00 The culture is blatantly lying to men and women for political purposes
51:40 Why is physical fitness important for a man?
56:15 If men want to lead in their relationships they have to lead themselves
1:00:20 Men need to protect women from other women
1:06:00 The great reconciliation between men and women happens through Truth
1:08:45 Will and Suzanne talk about poetry
1:13:40 Iron John: Why was this book the beginning of The Renaissance of Men?
11/21/2021 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 50 seconds
140. “I Make 50k, and My Girlfriend Makes 150k. Should I Be Worried?”
Suzanne discusses the uncomfortable reality of a giant earnings gap in which the woman is the higher earner by highlighting an article in The New York Times entitled, "How I Fell for an 'I'm the Man Man."
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:35 Suzanne reads from an article in the NY Times entitled “How I Fell For an ‘I’m the Man' Man”
4:35 The relationship dynamics described in the article are commonplace today
5:30 A seismic shift has happened in the dating world regarding this sexual dynamic
6:10 This dynamic makes most women miserable
8:25 Men have become emasculated
10:20 Once kids come along, things change
11:00 Women have the ability to get pregnant and give life, which makes her role in society immeasurable
12:20 When a man does not provide, he will not be happy
13:15 By saying women and men are the same, we set them up to fail by ignoring biological reality
16:40 Move with the biological tide and you will most likely succeed
11/18/2021 • 19 minutes, 23 seconds
139. How NOT to Find a Quality Man on a Dating App
Did you know online dating is a billion-dollar business? Suzanne talks about how women can use these dating sites to their advantage by recognizing the deep differences between what women want and what men want when it comes to love and commitment.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:15 Men are twice as active on dating apps as women are
3:15 Your education/job status are not what makes you attractive to men
4:00 The criteria men and women use to choose a partner have not changed at all
6:00 An experiment by John Townsend, Ph.D. shows how women and men choose partners
8:20 Men are indifferent to women’s status
9:30 What is a selling point to a man: your looks, your demeanor and your attitude towards marriage and children
10:45 How do you want to present yourself ?
12:00 It should serve as a warning to women that when you find a man who endlessly praises you for your career and your job he's most likely just looking to hook up or is wanting you to take care of him financially
13:15 What women should do w dating apps
11/16/2021 • 15 minutes, 27 seconds
138: SPECIAL GUEST!: Suzanne Talks Texting, Sexting and Social Media with Her 21-Year-Old Daughter
Suzanne and her daughter Emma, 21, talk about social media's effect on relationships and, in particular, on young women.
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:20 What is it like to be Suzanne’s daughter?
9:00 What is “sexting”?
10:50 Social media and its effects on young women. What does Emma see in her world/age group?
11:30 Social media is all consuming
13:00 Smartphones make it hard to focus
15:35 Social media can cause body image issues
16:50 Young girls are exposed to thousands of images a day
21:30 What is the solution to help young girls?
24:20 Your parents are your model for how you feel about yourself
25:40 “Catfishing”: Face-altering filters and why they’re problematic
29:40 What's good and what's bad when it comes to texting in a relationship
36:00 You don’t have to develop courage or have hard conversations when you’re texting
40:40 What is the #1 problem women have today when it comes to dating on college campuses?
42:40 When girls post on social media in a sexual manner, they're trying to impress men
48:10 For the average person, it is much easier to have casual relationships in college
49:30 Social media creates mental health issues
53:50 Suzanne to Emma: Do you ever wish there was no such thing as social media?
11/14/2021 • 57 minutes, 29 seconds
137. Do It, Ladies. Lean OUT.
Motherhood has never been easy. But compared to today, our own mothers’ experience was a walk in the park. Suzanne discusses the truth about why motherhood is so damn hard today—and why it doesn't have to be.
IN THIS EPISODE:
1:40 Suzanne reads a viral Facebook post about “what society expects from women/mothers"
8:40 It used to be understood that mothers were an integral part of society
9:30 Men and women react differently to raising children
10:10 The ability to nurture is in a woman’s DNA
10:30 Mothers belong with their children
11:05 Median household income growth occurred when women went to work
12:30 Mothers are responsible for the emotional well-being of our citizens
13:15 Women need support to enjoy motherhood
14:10 Leaning out is an option if your husband is a steady breadwinner
16:00 Think outside the box and get away from what other people around you are doing
16:50 You have to sacrifice, but the payoff is huge
18:15 Covid has taught Americans that they CAN live on less
11/11/2021 • 18 minutes, 55 seconds
136. Why Aren't Men Getting Married Anymore? And Where Have the Manly Men Gone?
Suzanne discusses a recent Pew study that shows men are more likely than women to be single, as well as Fox News' Laura Ingraham's segment entitled "Where have all the men gone?"
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:00 Suzanne references a podcast episode from The Roommates w/ Jordan Peterson about why men are choosing to be single
4:15 The loss of manufacturing jobs and more women going to college than men play a huge role
7:40 The rise of women and the demotion of men
8:20 Suzanne reads an email from a listener
11:10 Father absence and single motherhood create weak men
15:25 When women can’t see who men really are, their lives become consumed with bitterness and resentment in the workplace and in their relationships
#1 - My boyfriend and I are dating with the prospect of getting married, and I am moving to his country to be with him. I want to prioritize my family but have a side hustle. What is your advice re: side hustles?
#2- My fiance and I have small arguments constantly that turn into half a day of us not speaking. Do you have any tips?
#3 - I used to have a feminist mindset and dreamed of pursuing a career in music. My parents are pressuring me to get higher ed in music. How do I communicate to my parents about my desire to be a wife and mother someday?
#4 - I am a wife who screwed things up in the beginning of my marriage. I have been married for 15 years. I never wanted to be a “disrespectful nag” and I didn’t realize I was being one until my marriage nearly fell apart. My husband is distant and we could be roommates. Do I just accept this?
#5 - I keep encountering men who have gotten used to dating a lot of feminists. When I talk to them about having families and wanting more traditional gender roles, they consider that as “being a dictator over the wife”. This is frustrating because men have become feminist without even knowing it. What should mid-thirties women do because men don’t lead? What do we do?
#6- I’m a 34-year-old single woman. I was raised by a “hen-pecked” father and I became a feminist, went to grad school, etc. I want to get married and have kids but I don’t know any young single men, I am overweight and have student loans. Is it unreasonable to think I might meet a man who wants to take care of his wife and kids?
11/7/2021 • 28 minutes, 6 seconds
134: The Power of Silence
Suzanne talks about the power of silence in a marriage or relationship.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:25 Silence is powerful
3:15 Women talk much more than men
3:50 When you don’t talk as much you become a better listener
6:40 Your husband is NOT your girlfriend!
7:40 You don’t have to air every thought you have
8:40 Your husband does not need to hear about everything that happens to you during the day
10:20 Ask yourself: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
10:40 The goal is to help you take stock of your speech
11/4/2021 • 14 minutes, 28 seconds
133. Every Wife Needs THIS ONE SKILL in Her Back Pocket
Suzanne explains why being agreeable, rather than being a “challenger” or offering alternative thoughts to your husband’s all the time, is a boon for your marriage.
IN THIS EPISODE:
1:30 Stop saying no
9:20 Suzanne talks about what a typical conversation sounded like in the past with her husband compared to now
11:30 Know when to give in or let go in order to create peace
13:15 The more we say yes instead of no, the more receptive your husband will be
13:55 The approach a woman needs to get ahead at work is the exact same approach that will screw up your marriage
16:00 Men do not like to fight with women
11/2/2021 • 19 minutes, 56 seconds
132. The Behind-the-Scenes Life of an Entrepreneur
Suzanne and her assistant Kelsey discuss the life of the entrepreneur.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:50 Suzanne’s assistant, Kelsey, discusses her background
8:20 You don’t have set hours when you have your own business. You basically work all of the time
9:10 The pros: No boss, make your own hours, license to be creative
9:35 The cons: you work for a long time with very little payoff, can be financially straining
12:30 Building a business and having young kids. Is it logistically possible?
13;10 Failure is part of being an entrepreneur
13:40 Social media makes it look easy
15:00 A strong passion is necessary to sustain you through ups and downs
15:45 It usually takes about three years to see any revenue
16:10 You can’t please everyone. Suzanne discusses her experience with dealing with others’ expectations
18:35 You have to be able to deal with delayed gratification
20:00 You have to be disciplined with your time
23:35 You can’t let your business bleed into your personal life
28:40 Entrepreneurship is pushed to women without explaining the caveats of this lifestyle
33:00 Jobs are underrated
36:45 Suzanne dreams of being a waitress!!!!!
10/31/2021 • 38 minutes, 57 seconds
131. Money & Marriage Series: The Psychology of Money and Its Role in Our Romantic Relationships
Suzanne discusses wealth building, especially within the context of marriage.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:40 Whether or not you’ll be successful with money depends on your behavior
5:40 There is a lot of misinformation about building wealth
8:00 The experiences you have growing up shape your views on money
9:40 When you get married, you join finances and your life with someone who may have a totally different history with money
10:00 You both have to have the same goal about where you are going and how you’re going to get there
10:35 High expectations: The median household income today is TWICE what it was thirty years ago, but our expectations have grown exponentially
11:50 If your expectations are beyond what you’re producing, you’re never going to catch up
13:25 You don’t have to be entirely like-minded to be successful in your marriage with money
13:50 Husbands and wives DO NOT view their incomes in the same way
17:00 Understanding male and female nature is very important when it comes to money and marriage
18:50 You CAN change your attitude about money
10/28/2021 • 20 minutes, 26 seconds
130. How NOT to Raise a Feminist Son
Suzanne addresses the many requests she's had from folks who’ve asked, “What do we do about our sons?” and “How can we best raise our sons in these times?”
IN THIS EPISODE:
1:50 Suzanne reads listener/reader emails
4:35 Millennial men have been acculturated to the equality mindset
5:30 A lot of women have to convince their husbands that staying home is the right thing to do.
9:10 When you're dating, find out if the man is more traditional or if he has fallen for the feminist script
10:04 Talk to your boys from Day 1 about everything they’re seeing in the culture and counteract this with truth
10:45 Model a traditional family dynamic
11:10 Do not get in the way of a father’s relationship with his son
13:30 How you talk to your husband matters, as does how you talk about your role as a mother
15:40 Honor and respect your son’s masculine nature
10/26/2021 • 17 minutes, 48 seconds
129. It's Okay to Put Love Ahead of Career
Whom we choose to marry, and how that marriage fares, has the single greatest effect on our happiness and well-being than anything else we do. The outcome of that singular decision will dictate the entire course of your future. What sense does it make, then, to NOT prioritize it?
IN THIS EPISODE:
1:15 Who we marry and how that marriage fares has the single greatest effect on our happiness and well being than anything else we do
2:35 Your marriage has to come first, and you have to be a team
3:30 Suzanne reads an entitled, “ Divorce Can Be an Act of Radical Self-Love”
6:20 Where are the parents?
7:50 For millennials, marriage is viewed as a capstone, rather than a cornerstone, of their life
11:00 When you live together with your boyfriend/girlfriend and prioritize your respective careers, it makes it harder to combine your lives as a married couple
12:35 The cohab mindset leads to poor preparation for marriage and diminishes happiness by “sliding into marriage”
15:45 Whether it’s 1971 or 2021, most mothers step out of the workforce at a far greater rate than fathers
10/24/2021 • 19 minutes, 31 seconds
128. Money & Marriage Series: Two Non-Negotiables for Building an Unbreakable Bond
Suzanne discusses two money non-negotiables for having a strong marriage.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:00 Too many modern couples entering marriage with the same mentality they had when they were dating (“yours” and “mine”)
5:00 Separate accounts cause problems in marriage
9:45 Sex differences: The difference between a husband's income and a wife’s income
11:00 Married women typically earn for different reasons (autonomy, extra spending money) than married men do
13:30 You have to be on a budget and be on the same team
13:45 If you spend more than your husband earns, you're undermining the marriage
17:30 If a wife earns significantly more than her husband, it undermines the marriage
18:00 If you want to build something together you have to think as “we”/ “ours”
10/21/2021 • 19 minutes, 54 seconds
127. What No One Tells Women About Their Fertility
Suzanne tells the truth about women’s fertility, as opposed to the watered down version we get from the culture.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:10 Modern women are not aware of the truth about their fertility
4:05 You have to account for the process in what is involved in trying to have a family.
8:25 On average, a woman under 35 years old is more likely to conceive
10:00 Here are some examples of women who bought the cultural script and had trouble getting pregnant
12:10 - Know your body, Ladies!
2:00 My boyfriend won’t say “I love you” and is not expressive or open to talk about next steps for the future
5:00 My son is asking me to open a bank account in my own name to save money because he is dating a girl who inherited money and lives at home. This girl wants to live with my son, in a house she owns, and have him pay half the bills. He wants to save because he is afraid that “when she kicks him out” he’ll be able to afford to set himself up, etc. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
10:00 I’m newly married to a great guy, but I'm struggling with where we live. We want to start having children but there is no community where we live. What should I do?
15:35 Help! I feel guilty for wanting to step out of the workforce to raise children.
20:15 What is your take on Victoria’s Secret shifting their marketing approach to showcasing overweight women?
22:45 How do I go into a marriage-minded relationship when the woman will be making more money than me?
28:15 My wife and I are going on 16 years of marriage and having trouble, my wife won’t go to counseling. Is there any hope?
10/17/2021 • 32 minutes, 38 seconds
125. 5 Reasons Women Don't Get What They Need From Men
Suzanne discusses fives reasons women don't get what they need from their man.
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:00 Reason #1: They have their guard up
9:55 Reason #2: They micromanage.
11:10 Reason #3: They can't “let go” and learn to receive.
14:00 Reason #4: They complain and/or nag.
15:15 Reason #5: They assume the worst.
10/14/2021 • 19 minutes, 20 seconds
124. The Staggering Costs of Our 21st Century Sexual Free-For-All
Suzanne reads evolutionary biologists Bret Weinstein's and Heather Heying's article, "An Evolutionary Biologist's Guide to Finding Love in the 21st Century" and provides the roadmap needed to get men and women back on track.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:00 Suzanne reads an article from Daily Wire
4:50 The entire issue (especially regarding sex) is largely due to birth control
8:48 Birth control rewrote the rules of human mature and wrecked the sexual logic that governed the system
10:10 Babies are best raised by a team (mother and father) and extended family
11:00 Men and women have different reasons and requirements for choosing a spouse
13:00 Sex used to be thrilling because it was scarce, and the stakes were high
14:00 Women go along with the cultural narrative of casual sex even though it goes against their natural tendencies to be selective and want commitment
15:50 A woman who demands commitment competes for male attention alongside every woman who does not
16:30 For men, casual sex is the “sweetest deal in the universe”
20:29 The dating landscape is a minefield with no guardrails
22:15 Suzanne reads comments from men
10/12/2021 • 24 minutes, 51 seconds
123. Work-Life Balance Begins Long Before You Have a Baby
Once upon a time, women were groomed to be wives and mothers, and they gave little to no thought to having a career.
Today, women are groomed to become career women and to give little to no thought to marriage and children.
The former option is long gone, never to return. And the second option is just as bad. Fortunately, there’s an Option 3.
Here are 4 things young women need to consider when mapping out their lives if they want to achieve genuine work-life balance:
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:25 In previous generations, raising a family was a taxing, all-consuming endeavor
5:40 “Work/Life” balance does not meaning doing everything you want simultaneously
6:30 There is no highly successful person (a lot of money or a lot of clout) whose life is NOT out of balance
7:10 Big careers are all consuming
7:50 If you want a balanced life, the only alternative is to accept the trade-offs and not compare your life to anyone else’s
10:45 Where do you want to be geographically? Lifestyle?
13:40 Doing something later doesn’t translate to doing something better
15:00 Know who to listen to and who NOT to listen to when it comes to the issue of work/family balance
19:00 The idea that kids are resilient and that mothers should not feel guilt are pervasive and massive lies
20:28 Guilt is a signal feeling which women should pay attention to
22:45 Understand what children need and what is needed of you as a mother
27:10 After Covid, many mothers are choosing NOT to go back to work
10/10/2021 • 28 minutes, 27 seconds
122. The Mental Load of Motherhood
Referring to an article in the Wall Street Journal entitled "Women Still Do More of the Housework. Here's How to Share the Load," Suzanne discusses why the mental load of motherhood is not a social construct but a matter of sheer biology.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:50 The “50/50” marriage does not take into account the biological leanings of men and women
4:55 Playing tit for tat in a marriage will KILL a marriage
5:00 There's a completely different way to manage childcare and housework
5:20 If there’s respect in a marriage, it shouldn't matter who does what
5:35 Whomever is home more does more at home
6:10 If both husband and wife are pursuing demanding careers and taking care of a family, the opportunity for conflict escalates
6:35 It is women who take on the mental load of motherhood
8:15 It is a biological fact that women are more invested in the details of running a home
10:00 You want your husband to do things the way you want them done, but men don't think like women!
10:44 Couples who divvy up the breadwinning/household tasks do not tend to keep score and thus have fewer conflicts
11:40 No matter how you plan your time, life will rarely run smoothly. The real enemy is time.
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10/7/2021 • 13 minutes, 28 seconds
121. Money & Marriage Series: How Student Loans Sabotage Love & Marriage
A new documentary about the student loan crisis, entitled “Borrowed Future,” will stream on October 14th. Suzanne discusses how this crisis is undermining love and family formation—and why, with a shift of one's mindset, it doesn't have to.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:00 Student loan debt is affecting a couple's availability to marry and have kids
4:50 Debt is undermining marriages and keeping couples from being successful
5:30 We've sold student debt without making young people aware of how it affects their future
6:00 Marriage is on the decline due to MONEY issues - “We can't afford to get married!”
7:40 Couples can't succeed in getting out of debt if they're not on the same page
10:25 When you do not combine finances and do not get on the same page financially, you are essentially saying you do not trust your spouse
13:55 Parents of should not encourage their kids to get into student loan debt
14:45 It does NOT matter where you get your degree
10/5/2021 • 16 minutes, 29 seconds
120. Entitlement Is Ruining Everything (and What to Do About It): Dr. Brian Russell
America has become a nation with far too many narcissistic, self-entitled, excuse-making moaners who simply refuse to own their problems and the subsequent solutions.
You may have heard people make excuses for themselves, or maybe you’ve even said some of these things yourself. Many of these have been served up on silver platters by psychologists and lawyers:
“I haven’t succeeded because I’ve been oppressed by [a demographic group, corporate America, the rich].”
“I’ve abused [my spouse, my kids, both] because I had a bad ”
“I’m [obese, failing school, addicted] because I have a ”
“I was prevented from knowing right from wrong by [a mental illness, violent video games, too many Twinkies].”
But it wasn’t always this way. Here to talk w us about this massive phenomenon that has infected America is Dr. Brian Russell. Brian is a psychologist, attorney, and author of the book Stop Moaning, Start Owning: How Entitlement is Ruining America and How Personal Responsibility Can Fix It.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:40 Personal responsibility has drifted with increasing inertia to an age of entitlement with divorce, remarriage, parental abandonment, consumer debt/national debt, etc.
7:30 Dr. Russell and Suzanne discuss no-fault divorce laws
9:40 With private school, you have commonality among parents about education
11:20 You can send your kids to Catholic schools for a very reasonable price
12:00 Parents today are not around, or they are very self absorbed
14:00 Technology has taken over for kids, and parents have let it happen
16:00 Yours kids do not care if you’re “happy” or not
18:15 When you walk down the aisle, your mission should be to help that other person
20:00 People who chase happiness as a feeling are doomed to never catch it in a sustained way
24:40 Emotions, even negative ones, have purpose
28:00 Feminism and hurt both men and women; we are snuffing out nature in each sex
29:55 The difference between making “value judgements” vs. “being judgmental”
31:10 When you take away social consequences, it's dangerous
33:45 It is a parent’s job to set boundaries and say “no”
38:50 The world does not “owe” you and you are not “entitled” to much
40:10 Dr. Russell talks about the “deadly vows” series he was involved in
43:00 Infidelity, financial problems and blending families are typically the root causes of spousal murder
45:40 The cure
I want to move out of my parents' home, but my boyfriend wants me to stay. What should I do?
My in-laws are extremely “liberal minded,” and my mother-in-law constantly derides me for being a SAHM. What do I say in response?
Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to wait to get married to my boyfriend of three years while he's pursuing his med school degree?
Help! My boyfriend isn’t “masculine” enough!
𝗕𝘂𝘆 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱) 𝗡𝗢𝗪: https://amzn.to/38naFOL
Want to be as successful in love as you are at life? Go to http://www.suzannevenker.com and 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝟯 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗲𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 to begin your journey!
𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/
𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁! 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄: https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
9/30/2021 • 22 minutes, 31 seconds
118. What to Do When Your Wife Is a Strong-Willed Woman
Suzanne answers an email from a husband whose wife is extremely strong-willed.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:00 Suzanne talks about her own mother and the concept behind The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men and Marriage
6:50 Women who are strong-willed tend to be uncomfortable when they're not in control
8:40 What should men do to deal with a woman like this?
11:45 Men don't like to fight with their wives
12:15 Women have the power to bring out their best in their man
14:12 It’s about a willingness to look inward instead of waiting around for other people to change
𝗕𝘂𝘆 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱) 𝗡𝗢𝗪: https://amzn.to/38naFOL Want to be as successful in love as you are at life? Go to http://www.suzannevenker.com and 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝟯 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗲𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 to begin your journey! 𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/ 𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁! 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄: https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
9/28/2021 • 15 minutes, 11 seconds
117. The Roots of Adolescents' Mental-Health Crisis: Erica Komisar
Are you struggling to raise emotionally healthy, resilient adolescents in this fast-paced, ever-changing world?
America has an epidemic of mental health disorders in adolescents that has made parenting even more challenging, but parents can still have an enormous impact on the health and well-being of their children. In her new book, Chicken Little: The Sky Isn't Falling, Erica Komisar offers parents the tools they need to navigate this tumultuous time of change and create a continuous deep connection with their children.
Erica is a psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for over 30 years. She's also the author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters.
7:00 Teenagers still need their parents' guidance, even though teens tend to push their parents away
8:40 Covid exacerbated mental health issues and distress in younger people
11:30 There's a tremendous amount of sacrifice involved if you're going to raise and care for children well
13:40 We have placed more emphasis on money and career success than on caring for children
16:30 The best way to help quell the mental health crisis in children and adolescents is to prevent it from developing
19:00 Our society is achievement focused, rather than focused on emotional health, etc.
19:30 We “check out” of our children’s lives and simultaneously expect them to achieve more
20:00 Poverty can cause depression and so can affluence—in the same way.
22:00 Erica talks about her new book, Chicken Little.
23:00 At its root, anxiety is fear
24:00 The push for early independence is backfiring
24:30 The internet and social media has had a corrosive impact on the mental health of adolescence
27:30 Video games and tech additions are symptoms of anxiety and depression
31:40 Parents must be present during adolescence
34:00 You cannot protect your adolescent from pain and frustration, but it is a parents job to help them process it
35:00 Too many choices cause problems
38:35 We help shape our children’s identity over time. Parenting is also about helping your children take things OFF their plate.
41:00 Women/Girls get the message about having to “be something” more than boys/men
42:00 - PARENTS MATTER!
𝗕𝘂𝘆 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱) 𝗡𝗢𝗪: https://amzn.to/38naFOL
Want to be as successful in love as you are at life? Go to http://www.suzannevenker.com and 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝟯 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗲𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 to begin your journey!
𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/
𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁! 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄: https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
9/26/2021 • 46 minutes, 15 seconds
116. Here's the Alternative to Divorcing Your Husband This Fall
Suzanne responds to an article in the feminist publication, Jezebel, entitled “Here Are Some Good Reasons to Divorce Your Husband This Fall.”
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:50 Women and men in modern marriages are shooting blanks because they have no good examples of a good marriage
4:30 Suzanne talks about an article in Jezebel entitled “Here Are Some Good Reasons to Divorce Your Husband This Fall.”
5:50 Women are unhappier than ever
6:25 Women today do carry a burden: breadwinning in addition to mothering
7:40 Men will accommodate women to make them happy
8:20 Women have too high of expectations of men and marriage
8:50 Women need to learn how to learn how to align their expectations with reality and learn “manspeak”
10:00 Some “jobs/careers” work better with motherhood than others
11:00 What is “Manspeak”?
11:40 Your happiness is what motivates your man to action
12:00 The energy most modern women are carrying (trying to do it all) does not inspire a man to action
Want to be as successful in love as you are at life? Go to http://www.suzannevenker.com and 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝟯 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗲𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 to begin your journey! 𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/ 𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁! 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄: https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
9/23/2021 • 13 minutes, 13 seconds
115. Parents, Stop Pressuring Your Daughters to Become High Achievers!
Suzanne talks about parents who pressure their daughters to become high achievers and/or make a lot of money when that is not what they want to do.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:10 Suzanne reads a message from Dani, a young, twenty-something woman whose parents are pressuring her to get a master's degree and incur student debt, even though she just wants a “normal” life, to get married and have kids. She does not have the support of her family or friends.
4:40 What do most women end up doing in their lives?
5:00 More women graduate from law school than men, but most women end up dropping out way before obtaining partner status which is untrue for men
5:30 In order to get women to the top (which is what feminists want), you have to be able to sacrifice your home life and family
7:00 Parents, stop holding up big careers and money to your kids as something they have to aspire to! 9:30 Women are suffering trying to fit into the box the culture wants them to be in
10:40 What are we here for if not to create bonds and build families?
𝗕𝘂𝘆 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱) 𝗡𝗢𝗪: https://amzn.to/38naFOL Want to be as successful in love as you are at life? Go to http://www.suzannevenker.com and 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝟯 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗲𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 to begin your journey! 𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/ 𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁! 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄: https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
9/21/2021 • 13 minutes, 48 seconds
114. Kacey Musgrave's New 'Breadwinner' Song
Suzanne discusses singer/songwriter Kacey Musgraves's new song, 'Breadwinner,' which blames men for what happens when wives earn more.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:50 Suzanne introduces the new song by Kacey Musgraves's 'Breadwinner'
7:25 Many women and men don't understand how the female breadwinner issue will affect their marriages
8:50 60% of Suzanne’s coaching clients are in a situation where the women earn more
10:05 Men AND women don't like when women earn more
11:30 The cultural narrative blames gender "stereotypes” and gender "expectations”
13:15 A man’s ability to earn is inextricably tied to his identity.
13:50 Women do not work out of a desire to provide for their husbands
14:50 When a woman has an all-consuming career, much like Musgraves', her relationships (and children if she has them) take a back seat
19:40 As long as the woman is earning, the man’s motivation will fall away
20:10 Men don’t get threatened by a woman earning more; it simply deflates them. Men and women are motivated by different things
21:40 The male breadwinner norm won’t change because women want men who earn the same as they do or more
22:00 This song resonates for women today because so many women are out-earning their partners
9/19/2021 • 26 minutes, 42 seconds
113. Why Don't We Tell Women What's Making Them Miserable?: Carrie Gress
Suzanne talks with author Carrie Gress about her recent article, "Why Don't We Tell Women What's Making Them Miserable?"
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:30 Feminism has had a long march through our culture, but happiness metrics prove that in spite of this, women are struggling with their happiness
8:30 Feminism is motivated by Marxism
10:40 People are afraid to stand up against women’s so-called empowerment
14:40 Women have been sold a poisonous lifestyle (Ex: Children keep us from being happy)
17:00 Carrie talks about her book The Anti-Mary Exposed: Rescuing the Culture from Toxic Femininity
21:00 Men are not made to fight with women, which is why there's not much pushback
24:40 What should we be telling women if they want happy lives?
30:00 There IS a remedy to feminism
31:30 How Carrie combats the cultural narratives with her own children
Grab a copy of How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched) here: https://amzn.to/3jLpktI
9/12/2021 • 34 minutes, 15 seconds
112. Ladies, Don't Waste a Perfectly Good Decade!
Suzanne talks to women in their twenties about how to do life differently in one's twenties than the way the culture teaches.
IN THIS EPISODE:
1:50 Young people need a new roadmap for dating
3:40 It’s parents' job to teach their kids how to “get it right”
6:00 The 20’s are the defining decade for young people
7:50 You don’t need to “find yourself.’ You need to “get over yourself”
9:30 Who we marry and how that marriage fares has more impact on our happiness and wellbeing than anything else we do
10:40 The best guidance parents can give revolves around relationships
11:30 The unexamined life is what other people designed for you
13:30 Things you need to consider when mapping out your life
17:00 What happens when you delay marriage
18:40 How student debt factors in
20:35 Women have a different set of circumstances than men do when it comes to sex, fertility and sexual marketability
Grab a copy of How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched) here: https://amzn.to/3jLpktI
9/5/2021 • 31 minutes, 27 seconds
111. 4 Lies the Culture Tells Women
Suzanne discusses the fallout of the four lies our culture tells women, which represent Part One of Suzanne's new book, How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched): A 12-Step Program for Marriage-Minded Women.
1:40 The Four Lies:
- Marriage + Motherhood = Jail
- Women should never depend on a man
- Sex is just sex
- Career success will and should define them
1:50 The women who fell for these lies are now dealing with the fallout (They either can’t find a marriageable man or they do find one and are unable to have children the natural way or stay home with their children)
2:30 Feminists want women in the workforce so they can push their political agenda of government sponsored day care and paid leave. This is not what most women want!
3:10 The birth rate is the lowest it has been in a century
4:30 There's so much more than money when it comes to mapping out a life that works
5:30 Follow the man’s career path because he is going to end up feeding the family, if only temporarily
6:00 Stop moving through the world like your body and life will be the same as a man’s
7:10 Put marriage and motherhood at the center of your life and build everything else around that
7:50 Marriage doesn’t change things as much as having a baby does
8:30 Women do not become more “eligible” with age
9:00 Plan ahead, and be flexible!
8/31/2021 • 12 minutes, 39 seconds
It's finally launch week! How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched) comes out TUESDAY!
We will be releasing this week's podcast episode, "The 4 Lies The Culture Tells" on Tuesday, August 31st! Tuesday is also RELEASE DAY for my new book How To Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched)! Visit www.howtogethitched.net for all of the details!
8/29/2021 • 1 minute, 9 seconds
110. Suzanne's Story
Suzanne talks about her upbringing, her first marriage, and why she's so passionate about helping people have the support and information they need—even when it's politically incorrect—to help them build successful relationships and lives.
8/22/2021 • 32 minutes, 1 second
109. The Plight of the Modern Woman: Adam B. Coleman
I first interviewed Adam B. Coleman, founder of Wrong Speak Publishing, on Episode 92 of The Suzanne Venker Show about our culture of victimhood. Adam is back with me today to discuss his astute article, "Why the Modern Woman Is an Unhappy Woman."
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:50 Are women happy?
4:30 The dating market can be cruel to women and the selection becomes slimmer as you get older
7:15 The modern women is less fulfilled than the generations of women before them
10:10 Women’s expectations are extraordinary high
14:10 Pop culture has influenced women to the point where it has completely affected their lives
18:00 Most women would rather stay home and take care of their kids than work full time
18:40 Women handle work stress differently than men. Men are emboldened in the role of provider, whereas women are not
23:40 Women in their twenties are conflicted with what they naturally desire and the modern social demand for independence from men
29:45 Many women do not understand that their ability to get sexual attention does not translate into a serious relationship. Showing off your body and being overtly sexual gives men the signal that you are a “high risk for failure” in a long term relationship
36:10 How can women change their trajectory when it comes to love and relationships?
39:00 Parents have to take charge of teaching their kids what they need to know about relationships
40:00 Treat your relationships as seriously as you would the pursuit of a college degree, and don't stay in a relationship for a long time if it is going nowhere
44:10 Can online dating work?
48:00 Women need to embrace being feminine again
8/15/2021 • 58 minutes
108. How to Be Classy: "Classically Abby"
Abby Roth is the creator of the YouTube channel Classically Abby, where she talks about lifestyle, culture, and commentary from a conservative and classic perspective. She has over 95k subscribers on YouTube, 60k followers on Twitter, and 34k followers on Instagram.
Abby, who also happens to be conservative commentator Ben Shapiro's sister, began her career as a trained opera singer with three degrees in operatic performance from the University of Southern California and the Manhattan School of Music. She's the first #ConservativeInfluencer and on her series, Let’s Be Classic, she has interviewed Candace Owens, Liz Wheeler, and Lila B. Rose to name just a few. Abby is here with me today to talk about feminism, beauty standards, dating in the modern world, and marriage.
8/8/2021 • 59 minutes, 38 seconds
106. My Conversation with Stefan Molyneaux About Marriage & Family and the Meaning of Life
Stefan Molyneux is the founder and host of Freedomain, the largest and most popular philosophy show in the world. With more than 4,500 podcasts, 10 books and 600 million downloads, Stefan has spread the cause of liberty and philosophy to millions of listeners around the world.
Prior to launching Freedomain, Stefan built a thriving career as a software entrepreneur and executive. In 2007, he left his work in the tech industry to devote his efforts to spreading philosophy.
Now a full-time parent and philosopher, Stefan has given speeches at liberty-themed events all over the world. His speeches cover subjects ranging from politics, philosophy, economics, relationships, parenting and how to achieve real freedom in your life!
Stefan is here to talk w me today about his work and about his having been de-platformed by You Tube and Twitter and what he’s doing now.
IN THIS EPISODE:
1:45 How Stefan got de-platformed from Twitter/Youtube, etc.
10:35 All power is based on a series of lies
16:20 Almost no philosophers talk about parenting
17:30 Kids do not choose their parents, so you should treat them and raise them with the highest moral standards
19:20 Objective reality exists. Knowing what's real is foundational to mental health
24:40 Suzanne and Stefan discuss virtue, “the state,” race, men and women, and the family
25:00 Virtue is universally preferable behavior. Morality must be universal.
29:50 The purpose of communism is allow people to be violent, not to gain “equality”
33:15 Marxist theory used “class” as a means to divide people. Today we use race
35:55 Women and men have faced different evolutionary pressures; this does mean one is superior” to the other
37:40 A lot of people are facing an existential crisis related to love and family
39:00 What's the point of wealth, virtue, etc. if you can’t pass it along to your kids
40:00 People are most comfortable doing whatever people around them are doing
41:10 Feminism is driven by “fear currency”
41:30 During Covid, a lot of women left the workforce and realized they enjoyed being home w/ their families
44:45 Dating and sex is about fertility and children
45:00 High-quality men want to date younger women with less baggage
50:25 Parents pass their mindset on to their kids. You have a lot of agency over your kids and what they are taught
52:20 Your children have a front row seat to your marriage
56:50 Free will: When you have an “ideal standard,” you know what to aim for
1:00:00 If you enjoy your life, you should want to pass that joy on to another generation
1:05:40 How much money would you give up in order to obtain meaning and community?
7/25/2021 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 30 seconds
105. Conversation with a Client: Madeline from San Francisco
Suzanne talks with former client Madeline about the strategies she learned in coaching with Suzanne that turned her relationship around.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:00 The differences between living in the Midwest and living on the West Coast
7:20 Madeline tells her story about how she came to find Suzanne after being called “too alpha”
13:30 Men like “easy.” Madeline talks about how she learned to not have her way all the time and how it created peace in her relationship
17:00 The power of mantras
20:35 Timing is everything when it comes to talking to your man. Talk less, get more!
22:50 Why silence works so well
24:40 How to turn a “nag” into a statement of desire and WHY it works
32:45 If you move with the biological tide, you will have fewer problems in your relationship
36:25 If you want to get married and that is your goal, there is a way to get there
37:10 Being promiscuous doesn't prove you're empowered
46:50 Look inward, not outward, to solve problems
7/18/2021 • 48 minutes, 34 seconds
104. The Dead Bedroom Fix: A Conversation with “Dad Starting Over”
DSO is the pen name for Ralph, the founder of dadstartingover.com, host of the Dad Starting Over Podcast, and author of three books including his popular title, “The Dead Bedroom Fix”. The Dad Starting Over website is a resource for men that are “starting over” in life after divorce, after enduring a wife’s affair… or for those men who are still married and want to hit the reset button on their relationship, find their place in life, and finally do things the “right” way.
In 2020, Ralph started the DSO Fraternity, which is the members-only portion of dadstartingover.com. Members get access to Fraternity articles, podcasts, all of the DSO books, members-only discussion forums and live member meetings that take place three to four times per week. All of the member meetings are archived and available to listen via your podcast app. DSO Fraternity members also get big discounts on one-on-one coaching with any of the five DSO coaches.
Listeners of the Suzanne Venker show can go to dadstartingover.com/venker and you will get your first month of DSO Fraternity membership for $1. Try it out to see if it is right for you. Cancel at any time. Sorry ladies, the group is for men only.
Ralph has three children from his first marriage and a new one on the way soon with his second wife, Nathalie.
IN THIS EPISODE:
7:00 Men needs are simpler than women's
9:00 Women are great at validation at the beginning of their relationships
10:00 Many woman stop having sex with their husbands, especially once children come along
11:15 Women also complain of lack of sex. Men's porn habits and loss of testosterone contribute to this
12:00 Women need to continue to work on their appearance, be more agreeable, and nag less
17:00 Men need a helping hand when it comes to figuring out how to get their relationships back on track
17:35 DSO tells his story of his first marriage and his ex-wife's extra-marital affair
22:00 Suzanne reads from DSO’s book: "The Dead Bedroom Fix": Why your wife isn’t attracted to you
23:00 Why is the fault of the “dead bedroom” on the man?
24:25 Someone has to the lead in the romance department
28:50 What DOESN'T work when it comes to fixing a dead bedroom
30:00 Men and women both need to revert to what they did when they were dating
33:00 Why being “ nice” doesn’t get a man sex
34:40 Men have to both be a lover and provider
35:00 Many marriages have been flat-out ruined by kids
35:45 What makes a man HOT to a woman?
37:50 Don’t shame a woman for not “feeling it” in the moment
39:40 What men can do to fix a dead bedroom
Be her lover
Go to the gym & care about your appearance
Go away - you need to get the hell away from each other!
Be unique: What's your mission outside of being a dad or husband?
You MUST lead and set the tone in the relationship as far as romance and sexuality
Get your wife away from the kids
7/11/2021 • 1 hour, 38 seconds
103. How (and Why) to Embrace Your Feminine Nature: Mrs. Midwest
I'm joined today by "Mrs. Midwest," the pen name for Caitlin, who runs a blog called Mrs. Midwest and who joined YouTube in 2019 with the goal of creating a haven for traditionally feminine women trying to find their place in this modern world.
As a traditional wife and homemaker, it is Caitlin's aim to help women blossom into their natural femininity through discussions on style, mindset, and relationships.
She explores topics relating to elegance, femininity, traditional relationships, and homemaking, with a little bit of my "real" life thrown in.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:30 The biggest difference between Millennials and Gen Z
9:30 Modern feminism has become an exclusive “girls club” reserved for the “bad ass” woman who slays through life smashing the patriarchy, which is not relatable to the average woman
11:25 Feminism has damaged a lot of lives
13:40 Women change greatly between 18 and 28. Make sure you pivot your life if you change what you want. Have a long term plan
19:30 Many parents are encouraging their children to achieve and compete instead of focusing on love and family life
20:45 Many Christian parents expect their children to date without having sex but simultaneously want them to wait until their late 20s to get married
24:00 Marriage doesn’t derail your career plans…children do
25:40 We have glamorous idea of what a career is that isn't true
28:00 Most married mothers with children prefer to work part-time or not at all
30:00 How can you stay home on one income?
31:00 We're exposed to so much luxury it’s hard to imagine living frugally
38:00 There are many options for couples who want a more traditional lifestyle
42:00 As a woman, you need to look at your long-term path
43:00 In a marriage, whoever's home more does more
52:20 5 ways to be more feminine
6/27/2021 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 6 seconds
102. How a Culture of Casual Sex Made Men Less Manly (& Other Cultural Catastrophes): Julie Mastrine
Julie Mastrine is a marketing and PR professional who’s passionate about being a responsible member of the media who elevates critical thinking and civil discourse.
She is the Director of Marketing at AllSides, a site that provides balanced news and media bias ratings.
Julie is also a frequent writer and editor who writes for Evie Magazine on topics such as politics, culture and relationships. Her work has also appeared in USA Today, The Federalist, and other publications.
I invited Julie on the show today to discuss a very astute article she wrote for Evie magazine entitled “Sexual Liberation May Be Making Men Less Masculine."
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:00 The big lie of sexual liberation
9:00 Relationships need to be “defined” now because boundaries have been eroded
10:00 When women place constraints around sex, it causes men to be more masculine. Casual sex has eradicated the incentives for men to become more masculine
10:30 Fatherlessness also plays a role in the emasculation of men
11:00 Sex used to be a high risk endeavor pre-birth control pill
11:45 Women used to be more choosy when it came to having sex with men
13:00 Men aren't hardwired to commit to women they can sleep with easily
15:00 If women collectively changed their ways, men would rise to the occasion
18:00 Julie discusses her feminist background, her dating history, and what she learned living in big cities
25:50 Geography plays a big role in people’s outlook on relationships, marriage/family
28:00 Julie talks about her work with All Sides, which focuses on media bias ratings
30:00 Why the messages regarding love and courtship in romantic movies are wrong
35:00 Two people need to be aligned on the big things
38:00 Mature, masculine men are willing to sacrifice
43:40 Most people have jobs, not careers
45:30 The simple things in life are the most meaningful
6/20/2021 • 50 minutes, 3 seconds
101. Get Off the Achievement Bandwagon and Become Who You Were Meant to Be: Nancy Paradis
Suzanne talks with Nancy Paradis, wife of Andre Paradis (a relationship coach who's been on this program multiple times) to discuss how the messages sent to young women today are untenable, unrealistic, and at odds with what most women want.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:15 Nancy describes her history, her career in ballet and her move to LA
8:00 Nancy tells the story of how she and Andre met at a dance class
12:00 Nancy and Suzanne discuss the change that occurs when you have a family
14:20 Are you a “woman with a career” or a “career woman”?
19:00 Nancy talks about her job as a teacher/professor
23:00 The priority shift that occurs in women between the ages of 20 and 30
25:00 Nancy talks about being ridiculed in LA for being supportive of her husband, taking a step back in her career by other women
31:00 What's happening with Gen Z when it comes to understanding sex differences, what they’re being taught by the culture and in school
35:40 How knowing the information is not enough; you need to practice and have the tools
6/13/2021 • 44 minutes, 36 seconds
100. Suzanne answers listener emails
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:20 Suzanne addresses a question about the role social media plays in relationships, with young people and the expectations social media creates
7:15 When the people you surround yourself with are pro-marriage, your takeaway about marriage and relationships will be more positive
9:25 The only solution is to make our own “little world” work and then pass along the correct messaging to our children
12:30 The only way to combat the messages on social media is parenting
14:25 Can men and women be “just friends”?
16:15 It is extremely difficult for a man to be friend with a woman with whom he is not having sex
18:34 Suzanne answers a question about women getting “bored” in marriage?
19:50 Men are more simple in their needs and desires
20:30 Women need to deal with their own boredom and address it
23:10 Suzanne addresses and email from a listener about women leading the charge in divorce, the role the culture plays in this, and why many young women are branding their husbands as “mean” and “controlling”
25:00 Oftentimes, a man's behavior is a reaction to his wife actions and behavior
26:10 It’s easy to mislabel the behavior of men
27:25 Women are typically more emotionally abusive than men are
28:25 A listener describes a date he went on where he introduced Suzanne’s content, and she reacted negatively
30:20 Can you make your husband “grow up”?
6/6/2021 • 37 minutes, 53 seconds
99. Ladies, Live an Examined Life and Listen to Your Gut
At the end of the day, people live one of two lives: an examined life or an unexamined life.
An unexamined life is when you move through the years mindlessly, not really thinking about what you’re doing or why you’re doing it, or even if you like doing it. You’re just doing it, whatever “it” is, because that’s what other people are doing—because that’s what you think you’re supposed to do. Or because, quite frankly, it’s easier. Living an unexamined life means living a life someone else designed for you.
The examined life is different. The examined life is when you tune out the voices, sounds, and visuals in your midst and make important decisions based on what you want and on what you believe is right. More than anything, it means dismissing cultural trends that conflict with your core beliefs.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:40 Living an unexamined life means living a life someone else designed FOR you
3:30 Most of the noise today comes in the form of the media
4:10 If your goal is to get married and stay married, you have to avoid the media
4:20 Spend time with like-minded people
8:15 Women are making very real decisions about their very real lives based on something they absorb as real but isn’t
10:40 If you regularly absorb pop culture, you are absorbing the wrong ideas about men and marriage
11:50 “Spin sisters” are a group of media elite who influence the ways every day women think
13:50 Stop caring about what other people think and do
14:35 Women have been taught to value money and prestige over love and family
15:05 Don’t let the opinions of others drown out your inner voice
5/30/2021 • 15 minutes, 45 seconds
98. Why Good Men Stray
I suspect that, like me, you all are probably reading a lot headlines about Bill and Melinda Gates in the wake of their divorce announcement. The most recent one I read was in the WSJ about a sexual relationship Bill Gates had many years ago w a Microsoft employee. A spokesperson for Gates said, “There was an affair almost 20 years ago which ended amicably.”
As soon as I read this headline, I thought about all the people who will hone in on this event in the Gates’ marriage and imagine a gotcha moment as in, "Ha! That’s why Melinda Gates filed for divorce! Her husband is a philanderer!"
What you will never hear about are the circumstances that surround an affair, particularly when men are the ones who have it. If a woman has an affair, it's because she's been wronged in some way. But if a man has it, he’s just a bad man or a bad husband.
I’d like to challenge that narrative by telling the truth about why good men stray.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:40 Suzanne reads an email from a listener about affairs and the rationale behind it
5:00 The idea of remaining attractive, pleasant and kind with one’s husband is oftentimes met with resistance due to life stresses, etc.
6:00 The idea that you can succumb to those pressures and become someone totally different from the person your spouse dated is unfair
7:00 For the average marriage, you can start to behave the way you did when you were dating and get those feelings back pretty quickly
8:30 The idea that you can starve a man sexually and expect him to remain faithful is ridiculous and immature
8:50 It isn’t just about sex—millions of husbands are starving from affection from their wives, which is almost more significant than sex
11:20 A lot of women wait for the “feeling” to envelope them before they act. Sometimes, it takes the act to get the feeling
13:00 On all of Suzanne’s intake forms for coaching, when men answer questions it has to do with the lack of sex and affection
16:45 Not having sex with your husband is cruel
5/23/2021 • 18 minutes, 9 seconds
97. The Surprising Benefits of Not Sleeping with Your Spouse—and Other Lesser Known Truths about Marriage: Rabbi Manis Friedman
This episode is about how thinking about and doing things differently from the norm when it comes to marriage and relationships is what ultimately allows you to succeed in love.
I came across an article the other day that was entitled “Covid quarantine confirmed that sleeping in separate beds is the best thing for my marriage,” by Judi Ketteler. And upon reading this, in addition to thinking about my own marriage, I thought about my conversation in December 2019 with Rabbi Manis Friedman —bc in that episode he said that it’s actually “insulting” to sleep in the same bed with one’s spouse. So with that in mind I invited Rabbi Friedman back on to talk about not just the surprising benefits of not sleeping w one’s spouse but the benefits of embracing a mindset about marriage that differs radically from the norm.
Rabbi Friedman is an internationally sought after speaker, author and expert on the topics of love, marriage, intimacy and parenting. He has appeared on CNN, PBS, and BBC Worldwide, and has been the subject of articles in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, Seventeen and others. He’s the author of Doesn’t Anyone Blush Anymore? and The Art of Intimacy, which we will talk w him about as well.
Rabbi Friedman’s website is itsgoodtoknow.org.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:45 What is intimacy and how is it different from sex?
9:45 Casual sex vs. sex in a committed relationship/marriage
10:45 Sex as a “performance” often falls short of expectations
11:20 Sex in a marriage isn’t always intimate
12:25 If you want to have an intimate relationship, make sure the lights are off
14:35 The average couple has sex once a month
15:40 The only way to not be alone in the world is through marriage
17:40 Sex and love ruin marriage
18:45 People used to stay married longer because they could admit they need each other
22:20 Don’t get married if you “need” something
22:40 Why are divorce rates so much lower in the orthodox Jewish community?
23:10 Why is sleeping apart good for marriage?
27:00 Why is sex better when you sleep apart?
32:40 Why marry?
5/16/2021 • 40 minutes, 7 seconds
96. The Queen Bee Syndrome: Feminism and the Black Community: India Lee Starks
Several weeks ago I posted an interview with Adam Coleman, author of the book From Black Victim to Black Victor, where Coleman outlines the ways in which the black community has been conditioned to believe they're oppressed and how black women in particular have fallen for feminism to the detriment of their families and even themselves.
Shortly thereafter, I received an email from India Lee Starks who loved the interview and who emphasized this question that came up in my interview with Coleman: “Why are black women forgiven for failing to select better men?” Here's what India, who is black, had to say:
"Why are black women NEVER accountable for ANYTHING?! That can go for women in general, also. But when I look at my counterparts these days, the “modern black woman,” my heart fills with grief. They are far from the heroines of the “Greatest Generation” and generations before. They are entitled, arrogant, and selfish. It’s painful to witness. They champion single motherhood like it’s an achievement and have become oppressive and demoralizing in their attitude and treatment towards black men! It’s nauseating."
I subsequently invited India on to discuss how feminism has affected the black community.
India Lee Starks, 34, was born and raised in Williamsburg, VA and currently lives in the DC area. She worked for Teach for America in 2011 and the DC Corps from 2011-2013. She then graduated from law school and afterward helped open a newly opened charter school. In 2018, she worked for a year in the White House and now works for the Department of Education, Office of Civil Rights. India is newly married with two teenage stepsons.
IN THIS EPISODE:
9:50 How women in the black community shifted in their response to men
12:30 India talks about her family history and why she didn’t take to feminist ideology
16:25 Parenting is the last, best hope to counteract what your kids are absorbing
17:50 What women choose to wear is how they communicate
21:15 Black families are leading the charge with single parent homes at 64%
23:50 How feminism affected the black community and the breakdown of the family
26:55 Father absence
32:15 Women are tired of being "strong"
35:00 Black women have become audacious and arrogant when it comes to men
36:00 Feminism has shifted women’s identities to a focus on their careers and jobs and away from being mothers
39:30 Feminists want a matriarchy
39:50 India talks about her work in the White House with the Trump Administration and the environment with her male co-workers
47:30 Feminism has tapped into women's emotional center
50:10 Women are promoting their own interests instead of doing what is right by our communities and families
5/9/2021 • 56 minutes, 50 seconds
95. Thirteen Reasons Modern Marriage Fails
Today on the show we're going to talk about thirteen reasons modern marriage fails.
3:00 Too many young couples don't understand the meaning of marriage
6:00 Adopting a Judeo-Christian model for marriage can solve marital issues
6:30 Men have become feminized, and women have become masculinized
7:00 Couples are holding back the tide of nature, trying to make something fit that doesn't fit
8:55 Women in modern marriages have ridiculously high expectations
9:50 Men have simpler needs
11:50 High expectations lead to disappointment
12:45 Stop expecting your spouse to react the same way
15:00 Modern married couples rely on love alone
17:40 So many women end up marrying the wrong man because they find themselves up against the clock
19:55 Our anti-male culture undermines respect for men
21:05 Not understanding the value of sacrifice or delayed gratification
23:05 Lack of maturity
24:30 Hook-up culture causes a trail of pain and heartache in women, ruins their ability to bond
26:12 So many young people are products of divorce
28:10 Materialism: money & fame over love
29:05 Decline in religion
30:35 Social media has unquestionably weakened marriages
5/2/2021 • 33 minutes, 9 seconds
94. Red Flags & Non-Negotiables: Things to Consider While Dating
Today we're going to talk about the most important red flags to consider while dating, for both women and men.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:20 Your guy needs to have a job, a purpose and a plan
8:00 Is he a mama’s boy?
10:40 Men: There’s really only one thing you need to figure out while you’re dating: Is your gal a feminist?
11:30 Clear signs of a feminist: her attitude toward men and marriage, her view of marriage as an institution, her priorities, her ability (or lack thereof) to make sacrifices?
19:30 Do you share the same values and priorities? What is it that you want?
20:50 If you plan on having a family, what does he or she want that to look like?
24:20 Where do you want to live?
26:20 The reality of marrying someone who's a product of divorce
28:40 Determine your non-negotiables and stick to the Want to be as successful in love as you are at life?
Go to http://www.suzannevenker.com and 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝟯 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗲𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 to begin your journey!
𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁! 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄: https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
4/25/2021 • 35 minutes, 29 seconds
93. 6 Things Women Need to Know About Men
Ladies, do you wish someone would have told you the things you had to learn the hard way about men? I don’t know about you, but I wish I’d known the things I’m going to tell you when I was first married. If you know how men think and become fluent in their language, your marriage or relationship is just exponentially stronger.
So for those who have a strong desire to understand men, I’m going to discuss in this episode six things you need to know about men that can literally change the entire course of your relationship. Ready? Here we go.
1. Men are easy to please and quick to forgive.
2. A man’s identity is inextricably linked to his ability to provide and protect.
3. Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time.
4. Men need time to process their emotions. Leave them alone while they do.
5. Men don’t like to fight with women.
6. Men don’t just want sex—they need it.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:00 Men are easy to please and quick to forgive
3:30 Men are simple and have far fewer needs than women do. Respect, companionship and sex are the basics
4:15 A man’s identity is inextricably linked to his ability to provide and protect
5:00 When a woman makes considerably more than her husband it’s a tougher road for the marriage.
6:20 Since women are not wired to provide and protect, their reaction to being the primary breadwinner is very different from a man’s
7:15 The result of a shift in economic power usually shows itself negatively in the bedroom
8:30 Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time
9:00 The truth about “multitasking” is not superior
10:20 The fact that men can only do one thing at a time is something to admire
11:10 Men need time to process their emotions. Leave them alone while they do
13:15 Men don’t like to fight with women
15:29 Learn to talk less and move slower
16:50 Men don’t just want sex—they NEED it
17:20 A married man whose wife doesn't like sex or who won't have sex will either seek it elsewhere or suffer in silence
19:40 Men have a physical need for sex that women do not
4/18/2021 • 23 minutes, 49 seconds
92. What Our Victimhood Culture Hath Wrought: Adam B. Coleman
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that America has become a society of victims. My next guest, Adam Coleman, just released a new book entitled “Black Victim to Black Victor,” where he outlines all the ways in which the black community has been conditioned to believe they are oppressed and how black women in particular have fallen for feminism to the detriment of their families and even themselves.
In this episode we discusses the fatherlessness epidemic, the arrogance of white progressives, and how the black community can heal and empower themselves. Adam also shares his own story about growing up with a single mom and even being homeless at times.
Adam is the founder of Wrong Speak Publishing, an outlet for people to want to feel uninhibited when expressing their thoughts and opinions. Its mission is to dive deeper into topics that are deemed taboo.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:00 The narrative around George Floyd’s death went from one unfortunate incident to the narrative that all black men are in danger by someone wearing a badge
6:50 The media elite has an agenda when it comes to race
9:30 Adam's story: He was a product of a single parent home/he last saw his father was when he was 16
11:00 Adam discusses how his upbringing had a hand in his relationship failures
12:00 Adam talks about his family and his experience being homeless
13:30 "The greatest privilege in America is not being white; it’s having a healthy mother and father in the home."
14:20 The problems in the black community regarding family issues are starting to bleed over into other racial groups
18:45 America's "honesty gap”
23:00 It is uncomfortable to say that although George Floyd died in an unfortunate way, he is partly responsible for the outcome of his life
24:50 When people embrace the victimhood narrative, they are giving up their agency and power
26:00 The feminist movement piggy-backed off the Civil Rights Movement
26:40 Adam discusses how the feminist movement has infiltrated the black community
28:20 Feminism claims to identify things that make women resent men, but all it does is manufacture what is not there
29:00 Feminism gave women a sense of narcissism (ex: queen, boss, diva)
30:40 Men have disappeared from a role of importance and family authority due to the welfare system
32:45 Suzanne and Adam discuss shame and stigma
40:10 Popular black culture teaches girls and women to act in a way that repels masculine men and attracts feminized men, with no future prospects for marriage or fatherhood
46:30 The epidemic of lost children
55:10 Adam talks about his “a-ha” moments and how he overcame his own victimhood
58:00 America is extremely comfortable compared to the rest of the world
4/11/2021 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 16 seconds
91. Conversation with a Client: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at What Happens When Wives Earn More
It is one of the most taboo topics on the planet: what happens when wives earn more. The following podcast is an in-depth look at what happened when one wife's side hustle exploded and created a rift in her marriage, causing resentment and frustration that led to an eventual separation.
When Lauren Taylor, who's from South Africa, first reached out to me, she and her husband Jarryd had separated and were close to divorce when she heard me on The Mikhaila Peterson Podcast. After purchasing and reading a copy of The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage, Lauren signed up for marriage coaching.
On her intake form, Lauren wrote that she wanted "to be softer and kinder and more tolerant of her husband's shortcomings, to find a way to effectively balance their roles and responsibilities, to find a solution to their finances, to stop feeling resentful, and to feel safe, secure, and adored."
Several years prior to their separation, Lauren had started an online weight-loss business called Happy Shrinkers—which was fueled by her own struggle to lose weight—with the intent of having it be a side gig. Instead, it exploded and before she knew it she was out-earning her husband tenfold.
Lauren is not an anomaly. She represents millions of women who are out-earning the men they love, and it's causing problems no wants to talk about. If you read about breadwinning wives in the news, the message is always the same: Men need to "man up" and get over it.
This is a very simplistic and entirely unhelpful narrative. This new marital dynamic is far from innocuous, nor is it going away. Both men and women suffer, albeit in different ways, when wives earn more—and divorce is much more likely to occur. Even if couples don't get divorced, their marriages are often mired in conflict.
That is why I'm enormously grateful to Lauren for having the courage to come on The Suzanne Venker Show and discuss this very timely, and very personal, subject. It is my hope that her story resonates and helps other couples in the same boat understand what they're dealing with and gain useful insights about how keep their relationship afloat.
4/4/2021 • 52 minutes, 42 seconds
90. *RE-BROADCAST* On Being a Millennial, a Mother, & Jordan Peterson's Daughter: Mikhaila Peterson
**This is a rebroadcast of Ep. 44 w/ Mikhaila Peterson. We'll be back next week with more exciting content. Suzanne will be interviewing one of her coaching clients. DON'T MISS IT! Thanks for listening. Enjoy.**
It's hard enough to be a millennial these days. But does being Jordan Peterson's daughter make it easier? Or harder? Mikhaila Peterson is perhaps best known for being Jordan Peterson’s daughter, but she wears many hats. She’s the CEO of her father’s company, Luminate Enterprises, as well as the author of the blog, Don’t Eat That (https://mikhailapeterson.com/), which highlights Mikhaila's journey into remission from juvenile arthritis, severe depression, and chronic fatigue by using an all-beef elimination diet known as the Lion Diet. Most importantly, Mikhaila is a married mother of one daughter and lives in Toronto.
IN THIS EPISODE:
– How being Jordan Peterson’s daughter shapes her thought process, particularly as it compares to her contemporaries
– On Mikhaila’s experience with political correctness at University and how this politically correct environment caused her to change her major
– How Mikhaila’s Lion Diet helped her and how you have to think for yourself and do your own research when it comes to your health
– How mainstream media is nasty and corrupt and her experience with the media’s (incorrect) portrayal of her father
– Mikhaila’s experience being a young mother and why motherhood should be prioritized over career
– What it’s like to date as a millennial and the downsides of the birth control pill
3/28/2021 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 32 seconds
89. Are You a Product of Childhood Emotional Neglect?: Erica Komisar
Most of us are aware that what happens to us in childhood has a huge effect on who we become as adults. But what if the opposite is also true? What if what doesn’t happen in childhood has an equal, or even greater effect?
The absence of emotional support in childhood is as damaging as other traumas. Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) is not a form of childhood abuse because it's subtle and usually unintentional. Rather than a direct act, it is the absence of action.
It’s inaction.
The result of a parent who’s disengaged in this way is that a child learns to ignore and hide his feelings from others, even from himself. Children in these homes learn very early in life that emotions are troublesome and inconvenient, and they take this mindset with them into their adult lives.
In contrast, children whose emotional needs are treated as important are encouraged to pay attention to their emotions and are either taught or modeled how to manage and express them. But children who experience emotional neglect are taught that their feelings don’t matter.
A child who receives this message is not consciously aware of it because it's rarely stated outright. It's a subliminal message delivered by the absence of a response from parents. But the result is that the child suppresses his emotions by pushing them away so they do not bother his parents or himself.
Years later, this same individual will continue to lack access to his emotions, which will almost certainly wreak havoc on his marriage and relationships.
Here to discuss what I believe is a prolific problem today is author and psychoanalyst Erica Komisar.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:20 What are some signs of childhood emotional neglect?
6:20 Erica describes the different types of attachment disorders
6:50 Secure attachment is the ideal because your primary caregiver is consistently present this leads to an emotionally healthy person
9:30 Avoidant attachment disorder: Babies use this strategy to cope with the “loss” of their mothers due to physical or emotional absence. This produces trouble with connection, committing to relationships and being overly “independent."
14:00 The types of parents that may cause childhood emotional neglect: depressed parents, addicted parents, workaholic parent, the narcissistic parent and achievement focused parent
17:30 Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the hardest to treat
19:40 Alcoholism, drug addiction and eating disorders are all a result of Narcissistic Personality Disorders
22:00 Depression is connected to avoidant detachment disorder
23:30 Disorganized attachment disorder is typically the worst and relates to borderline personality disorder. These babies have no strategy and usually are a combination of all three. They are angry, emotionally erratic, paranoid, etc.
28:00 Babies know when the mothers desperately want to be with them
32:00 Many kids don’t get help and carry these things well into adulthood, Unless we get to the root of our pain, it stays with us
34:10 The mothers who raise anxious children are anxious themselves
35:00 Ambivalent mothers are resentful of their children
37:00 What is the difference between abuse and neglect?
39:00 What are the ramifications of emotional neglect on adult relationships/marriages?
41:00 Erica talks about her new book about raising resilient adolescents
47:00 Erica and Suzanne talk about anxiety
48:45 The difference bw depression and anxiety
3/21/2021 • 52 minutes, 57 seconds
88. What's Wrong with Being Woke: James Lindsay
Have you been told that science is sexist? Or that being obese is healthy, that there is no such thing as biological sex, or that only white people can be racist? Are you confused by these ideas, and do you wonder how they have managed so quickly to challenge the very logic of Western society?
James Lindsay is a mathematician, an author and cultural critic known for his involvement in the grievance studies affair with two of his colleagues, one of whom he co-authored the book, Cynical Theories: How Activist Scholarship Made Everything about Race, Gender, and Identity—and Why This Harms Everybody. The book is Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly Bestseller!
James calls the social justice movement his “ideological enemy” and is a major critic of wokeness. He and I are going to talk today about the evolution of the dogma that informs woke ideas such as the idea that science and reason are tools of oppression; all human interactions are sites of oppressive power play; and language is dangerous. Obviously we’ll be covering cancel culture as well.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:30 What is Critical Theory? What is Critical Race Theory?
5:05 The 3 components that define critical theory are: it must be the normative vision of a perfected society; it must explain how the current society does not live up to that vision; and it must be applicable by social activists
7:10 The goal is to make people dissatisfied with their society by pointing out that is not perfect and building social activism built around that
9:28 Suzanne and James discuss “Critical Gender Theory” and how that relates to gender studies
12:10 The argument is that capitalism and free societies are “oppressive” and that we need to be liberated from them
13:00 Millennials are the main generation that have fallen for the “woke” mentality
14:35 Gen Z is less woke than millennials
16:15 Suzanne and James discuss Megan Markle and Prince Harry
18:00 The elite class are the ones propagating the “wokeness” we’re seeing in society
21:00 Many people are wounded from childhood and take this victimhood into adulthood and project this onto society
24:10 There is a deliberate grooming of young women to be paranoid
25:00 Suzanne and James discuss “rape culture”
30:50 We are attracted to what gives us a positive reward and repelled away from things we get negative feedback for
33:35 You get rewarded for being a part of the “system”
34:00 James talks about his political leanings, how he considers himself a liberal, and how he voted Republican for the first time in the more recent election
36:00 James talks about his work and how he became known for writing and submitting “fake” papers to expose how “woke” academia has become
43:00 James talks about how he was “found out” by journalists at The Wall Street Journal
48:40 Academia has become corrupted and is indoctrinating students
49:00 Suzanne and James discuss “cancel culture”: Dr. Seuss, etc.
50:00 What should traditionally employed people push back against woke corporate culture without losing their jobs?
3/14/2021 • 57 minutes, 37 seconds
87. Are Women Better Than Men?: Roy Baumeister
Roy Baumeister is a social psychologist who explores how we think about the self, and why we feel and act the way we do. He's one of the world’s most prolific and influential psychologists who has published well over 500 scientific articles and more than 30 books. In 2013, he received the highest award given by the Association for Psychological Science, the William James Fellow award, in recognition of his lifetime achievements.
Roy's 2010 book, Is There Anything Good About Men? offers provocative answers to questions such as: Have men really been engaged in a centuries-old conspiracy to exploit and oppress women? Have the essential differences between men and women really been erased? Have men now become unnecessary? Are they good for anything at all?
Ultimately, he argues that relations between men and women are now and have always been more cooperative than antagonistic, that men and women are different in basic ways, and that successful cultures capitalize on these differences to outperform rival cultures.
Still, he shows that while men have greatly benefited from the culture they have created, they have also suffered because of it.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:00 Men and women are not enemies of each other and have always worked together since the beginning of time
9:00 Men never “banded” together to oppress women. There is no evidence of this
12:00 “Inequality” emerged because of the psychological differences and strengths of men and women
13:50 Differences are rooted in trade-offs. You solve one problem and create another
14:30 Women are better than men at some things and vice versa. It’s implausible that evolution would make one gender “better” than the other.
15:40 Suzanne and Roy discuss the motivations and desires of men and women in regards to their abilities
17:15 The mean IQ of men and women is almost identical
17:50 Men and women are different when it comes to sex. Women cannot fathom the strength of the male sex drive
22:50 Women have a stronger desire to bear and raise children than men. The mother-child bond is universal, whereas the father child bond varies widely historically and culturally
23:30 A woman's sex drive changes over time.
24:30 Roy talks about his research of sex drives during the first five years of marriage
27:00 It’s much harder for women to know their own sexuality because it's a moving target
28:45 Roy explains the lie of the “glass ceiling”
29:50 The gender pay gap exists for a reason and it’s not because of discrimination or oppression on the whole; it has to do with the difference of desires between men and women when it comes to work
20:45 Men are more competitive by nature than women
33:50 Monogamy benefits low status men
3/7/2021 • 41 minutes, 42 seconds
86. 7 Rules for Life & Love for a New Generation of Women
So my kids and my friends' kids are now at the age when they're seriously dating and thinking about the future. Unfortunately, the advice most of them receive from the culture, via the media and via their universities, isn't just bad. It completely undermines women's chances for a happy, balanced life.
Young women in particular are taught all the wrong things about life and love, about men and sex, and about work & family. Sadly, those whose parents didn't offset these destructive messages with sound advice of their own are now shooting blanks. To get it right, women need a new plan of action.
In this episode, I discuss 7 countercultural rules for life and love for a new generation of women.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:30 Modern dating is a disaster
5:30 Suzanne reads an email that gets to the heart of the issues within modern marriage
6:40 There's an epidemic of folks raised by feminist mothers that have led marriages and relationships falling apart
8:17 Get ONE marketable, flexible degree
11:30 Sex isn't "just sex"
12:30 Suzanne reads a great quote about casual sex from Jordan B. Peterson
13:15 Young women are not able to separate sex from emotion the same way men can
14:30 Don’t waste your twenties on men you hope will change
18:00 Marry a man who already knows his career path because once you have kids, you may want to step out of the workforce
22:30 Never live with with a man to whom you are not engaged
27:28 Men and women cohabit for different reasons
27:50 Don’t make financial decisions as if you'll always be in the workforce!
29:00 It is not impossible to get by on one income; couples simply make decisions early on that keep them from being able to do so
32:00 Reject the idea of “work/family” balance
34:05 There's a big difference between a career and a job; people who pursue careers pay a price for that
38:00 It is up to parents to tell their kids the truth
2/28/2021 • 40 minutes, 13 seconds
85. No, Love Is NOT Enough to Make a Family: Katy Faust
You probably know the adult viewpoints on marriage, infertility, reproductive technologies, same-sex parenting, divorce, and adoption. But have you ever considered these matters from the kids’ perspective?
In her new book, Them Before Us, Katy Faust flips the script on adult-centric attitudes toward marriage, parenthood, and reproductive technologies by framing these issues around a child’s right to be raised by both their mother and father.
Set against a backdrop of sound research, the compelling stories throughout each chapter confirm that a child’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being depends on being loved by the two people responsible for their existence. It’s a paradigm shift that will impact the personal and the political, and reframe every marriage and family conversation across the globe.
If you’re tired of a culture that views adults as victims in family matters, when it’s clear the kids are the ones who truly pay the price, this podcast episode is for you.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:30 The 3 staples of a child’s emotional diet
3:30 One out of every two children is growing up without one of their biological parents
4:00 The gay marriage debate
6:30 The cost associated with speaking the truth
7:10 Them Before Us is a movement of ordinary adults who possess what academia, celebrities politicians do not have: courage
8:00 The Stories
12:00 The difference between adoption and reproductive technology
13:00 The lie that kids need only love and safety and that moms and dads are optional
14:50 Kids living with biological parents are the safest and most well cared for
15:00 An unrelated cohabitating man is the most dangerous person to a child
17:00 The problems with reproductive technology
19:00 Thinking “love” is enough is flimsy and immature Biology matters, marriage matters and gender matters
20:40 A “me” centric world and the courts have wreaked havoc in children’s lives
24:40 The lie that children are resilient and will "get over" their parents' divorce
25:30 Divorce is terrible, but remarriage is often worse
31:00 We are raising generations of emotionally “starved” children
31:20 Katy talks about her own experience with same sex parenting
2/21/2021 • 46 minutes, 42 seconds
84. FOR MEN ONLY: How to Navigate a Successful Marriage & a Meaningful Life: E. Paul Allerton
Believe it or not, many men today are just as interested in having a happy marriage as are women, and they’re actually great at becoming true partners in creating a great marriage.
But: they need guidance.
Too many men grew up in homes where a father was absent physically or emotionally. As a result, men often have faulty beliefs about what makes for a good marriage.
In The Essential Guide for The Married Man, E. Paul Allerton provides the kind of wisdom many men wish they had gotten from a loving and knowledgeable father or grandfather. At the end of the day, navigating a successful marriage and a meaningful life comes down to your ability to lead yourself and then your ability to lead your family based on your actions.
A man’s purpose determines the qualities of character he must develop. In order to serve his purpose, he must consciously choose and master the attitude and self-discipline necessary to navigate the storms of life.
Paul Allerton is Director of www.themarriedman.net, a site providing men with resources to be great husbands and fathers. Over the past 25 years, Paul has coached hundreds of men, restoring dozens of marriages to thriving and loving relationships. He has been married for more than 35 years and has six children.
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:50 Suzanne reads an email from a listener who wants her man to step up
9:25 60% of men grow up without fathers in the house or their fathers “go along to get along”
11:00 Paul talks about his own marriage of 37 years, raising six children, growing up in a broken home
12:25 #1: Know where you are going and what you are doing, in your life and career
15:00 Life is not about being happy; it’s about what you can give and contribute
15:30 American men lack purpose
16:10 Suzanne and Paul discuss the Boy Scouts and why it was so good for building strong men
18:30 Suzanne and Paul discuss the Attitude Assessment Tool
The Quitter: “It's someone else's fault, and I’m not going to do anything about it”
Procrastinators: A lot of modern men are procrastinators
Along for the ride: They are not causing problems, but they are waiting for their wives to tell them what to do. They’re not doing damage, but they're irrelevant.
21:00 Never use any one action or inaction as an excuse for your own shortcomings
22:00 The moment a woman steps in to do a man’s job, the man will back up and let her
22:37 Doubt will paralyze a man
23:00 A man’s career is not a privilege; it is their way to provide and protect. Women have lost the appreciation for that
23:45 After mastering your attitude and doing what they need to do, despite whether they want to. Men also should have a daily discipline. Any muscle that you exercise will get stronger.
26:20 Purpose can be as simple as just wanting to provide and protect your family
27:20 Parents are responsible. Parents are acting like children expecting their children to act like adults
40:30 Women who are scared control their environment
41:10 Almost 100% of the time women nag, control and yell it's because of FEAR
43:30 Men care deeply and make huge sacrifices because they care
43:40 Worry about yourself and your wife to become soft. Focus on being disciplined, committed and generous.
AND MORE!
2/14/2021 • 1 hour, 26 seconds
83. 3 Hugely Unpopular Life Decisions That Lead to Huge Success
So I had a coaching session recently w a gal who, on her intake form, wrote that she'd read my 2011 book, How to Choose a Husband—which, as a side note, is being re-released this year under a new title with a new intro—and that when she came across the passage that said 'Put marriage and motherhood, not career, at the center of your life, and fit everything else in around that,' she thought to herself, "OMG, is it really okay to want that?"
Not only is it okay to want that, it's crucial that that's what marriage-minded women do do if they want to be successful in life and in love.
You have to think outside the cultural box, and you must to think long term. If you fly by the seat of your pants or live your life on auto pilot, it will be much harder down the line to get what you want out of life. Instead, live purposefully and mindfully.
The choices we make early on have a domino effect and will land you in a place you either want to be or don't want to be.
Here are 3 hugely unpopular life decisions that lead to huge success:
1. Choose a career based on your future family plans.
2. Marry younger.
3. Don't make financial decisions based on two incomes.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:25 To be successful in life, men and women need to think differently and be comfortable with thinking differently
6:30 Suzanne tells the story of her mother
8:00 Think outside of the box and plan ahead. This is the key to making smart decisions for life and love
10:00 Choose a career based on your future family plans.
10:40 Suzanne talks about her decisions regarding wanting a family and how she mapped out her life
12:00 “Ambition” doesn’t always have to do with money
12:40 Your family is only as strong as your marriage
16:30 Suzanne talks about why her first marriage failed
18:15 Why marrying younger is better
21:00 You can never really totally “balance” work and family. You need to know how you’re going to deal with this!
22:45 Men also need to choose a path that works for them regarding career and family
24:30 The culture doesn't pay attention to the tough choices men have to make
25:00 Don't make financial decisions based on two incomes
2/7/2021 • 35 minutes, 14 seconds
82. *REBROADCAST* How to Love a Man: Alison Armstrong
"Women have been acculturated to believe they should be their own heroes. Women's television delivers this message over and over again with movies in which, at most, one good man might provide some small assistance as the heroine rescues herself."
Those are the words of "Claudia," the wise grandmother who tutors her granddaughter Kimberlee in the art of loving a man in The Queen's Code.
The Queen's Code is a fictionalized version of the days when author Alison Armstrong was what she calls a "frog farmer," or a woman who brings out the worst in men by turning her prince into a frog. It offers a LIFE-CHANGING view of men that will turn your marriage or relationship around overnight.
Alison Armstrong is a best-selling author, sought after speaker and a master thought leader. She’s the founder of PAX Programs, a mission driven company passionate about transforming the way men and women relate to themselves and each other and the ultimate source for understanding men and women. Her website is www.understandmen.com.
"Until we understand the real differences in what compels our behavior, especially under stress,
we'll keep bringing out the worst in each other. And never experience the real beauty of both men and women." — Alison Armstrong
IN THIS EPISODE:
Modern women antagonize the most primitive aspects of men.
Being successful in love requires an attitude adjustment. Anger and self-righteousness have got to go.
When you emasculate your man, it causes him to treat you with disdain.
The emasculating of men is a knee-jerk response out of fear of men's power. It's a learned behavior to reduce men's pressure, and it is the only way women have to deal with their hurt, disappointment and frustration.
How Women Emasculate Men: Withhold appreciation • Withhold admiration • Withhold sex • Don't let them impress you • Compare unfavorably–be impressed by someone else • Don't trust them • Don't need them for anything important to you
If you’re not using your assets to emasculate, he will naturally appreciate your beauty, sexuality, intellect, humor, needs, etc. If he can keep his power, he will not be overwhelmed by yours. He will not be triggered to objectify you.
Everything about women can overwhelm men.
Men are nurtured—literally fed energy—by being in the presence of a contented woman.
Reducing male power doesn’t make women safer.
The makeup of the masculine brain causes it to focus on one result. It commits itself to the accomplishment of that result and screens out everything that's unrelated. This is virtually the opposite of the feminine brain.
There’s a difference bw depending on a man to provide and allowing him to.
Most women won't let a man provide for them; they want to be the provider instead. It's a standoff of dueling providers, and a man can't give way without being emasculated.
1/31/2021 • 55 minutes, 43 seconds
81. Suzanne shares letters from readers and listeners
In this podcast episode, Suzanne shares letters from readers and listeners.
3:00 Suzanne reads an email from Ashley, a left-leaning listener/reader who has a PhD, lives in a big city and was on the verge of divorce. Feeling like she had no other options, she started reading Suzanne’s books, tried out her theory and saw immediate changes in her marriage
8:00 The most receptive people to Suzanne’s message have typically been married awhile
8:35 Silence is so powerful. You have a choice about how to respond when your partner is in a bad mood or snaps at you.
9:00 Suzanne reads a message from Pablo, a married man, who delineates between a conservative woman's approach to sex vs. a “modern” woman's approach to sex.
12:30 Suzanne reads a message from Joel who discusses the idea that life “ends” with marriage. In the modern discussion about marriage, all the real “fun” is to be had when you’re single and “free,” which is in part why marriage itself is in decline
14:00 The meaning of marriage and why it is NOT the end of your “fun life”
15:00 The different stages of marriage
17:50 Suzanne reads an email from Christine who read all of Suzanne’s books and explains how she was inspired to save her relationship with her five-year partner.
19:28 Suzanne reads an email from Victor, a podcast listener, who asks questions regarding the downfall of traditional roles, sexual attraction and intimacy
20:55 To cope with marital conflicts/problems, you’re always better off moving with the biological tide
22:20 Keeping the masculine and feminine dynamic leads to high sexual attraction
23:15 Suzanne reads an email from a woman who read her eBook How to be A Wife and how it affected her and how she was holding on to behaviors that don’t work and how the book transformed her life
25:50 Suzanne describes why being open to change can rock your world
26:54 Suzanne reads an email from a stay-at-home mom who struggles with validation
29:36 Suzanne reads an email from Chad, who says he sees many men giving up on marriage and relationships and how many women these days are promiscuous, masculine and immature. He asks Suzanne her thoughts on what’s happening with women in the culture.
33:11 Suzanne reads a letter from a 26-year-old married woman who wants to start a family but is the breadwinner
34:00 Why getting married later and having kids all at once is more stressful
1/24/2021 • 37 minutes, 47 seconds
80. The Top 5 Things Men Do Thinking It Makes Them Good Guys: Elliott Katz
A lot of men want to be good guys. But Elliott Katz, author of Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man, says a lot of what men are doing, thinking it makes them good guys, actually makes women lose respect for them.
To help these men understand why, Elliott and Suzanne discuss the top 5 things men mistakenly do thinking it makes them good guys.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:00 Many good husbands don't understand why their wives are so frustrated with them
4:40 Elliott's own marriage, subsequent divorce and journey to learn what it means to be a man in a relationship
6:40 Young men look to their fathers for wisdom and guidance
9:00 Men need to learn how to show their share of leadership in their home
10:00 Why always leaving the making plans to her is a mistake
13:20 It’s not natural for women to be in control all the time
14:30 Why it’s a mistake not to offer to pay on the first date
20:00 Why, as a man, saying “whatever you want; you decide” doesn't work
22:00 What men should do when their woman shoots down all of their ideas
29:00 A lot of men think they can’t lead if their wives don’t let them
**29:50 Stand up to your wife when she treats you badly. There is no conversation about this in the culture about this since it’s unpopular and typically the focus is on women being treated badly.
32:40 Men need to let their wives know what kind of treatment they won’t accept and most men are concerned with “keeping the peace." Women do not respect men who don't have a backbone
35:55 Takeaways for men: Take the lead, be a man with a plan, take initiative, show leadership, cast the deciding vote, tell her behavior is unacceptable
1/17/2021 • 41 minutes, 48 seconds
79. The Secrets of Happily Married Women & Men: Dr. Scott Haltzman
Dr. Scott Haltzman, also known as “Dr. Scott,” is internationally recognized for his work on infidelity and in support of marriage. He has appeared on the Today Show, 20/20, Nightline, Good Morning America, The Rachel Ray Show, as well as a whole host of print media.
It will surprise no one who listens to this podcast why I invited Scott on the program. His most recent book is The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity, and his other books include The Secrets of Happily Married Men, and The Secrets of Happily Married Women, and The Secrets of Happy Families.
Need I say more?
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:20 Men need to treat their relationship like their job.
8:50 Know your wife. This is critical to win your her heart
10:49 How to balance work and marriage
14:00 The thought process women go through when they get married vs. what the men feel like
15:50 Expect conflict and deal with it
18:45 Learn to listen.
22:00 Aim to please.
25:36 Understand the truth about sex. Typically, the biggest complaint for men is that their wives don’t want to have enough sex. Therapists have done men a disservice by telling them that if men do more at home they'll get more sex.
27:55 Sex has become conditional, when it should just be a part of a marriage.
28:20 Your wife must feel like she's your priority
34:35 The secrets of happily married women: Men need to feel cared for, men need acknowledgement for their efforts, men have trouble verbalizing love and regret, men need to protect their families, men need to be right and in control, men need action, and men have undeniably strong attraction to females
37:00 The culture has made such a big deal about women caring for men. (Example: cooking for them, etc.)
39:00 Why men need acknowledgement for their efforts and how that affects them
41:00 Men have trouble verbalizing love and regret.
42:00 Trying to protect your family sometimes get perceived as “bullying”
43:20 Men need to be right and in control—it is instinctual
45:40 Men are instinctively attracted to women
49:10 How to “fight better” and the differences between men and women when it comes to fighting
50:30 Learn to talk less/the power of being quiet
53:40 Dr. Haltzman talks how to take charge of your own happiness and the myths surrounding what is a “happy” marriage
55:10 The 4 attributes of happy women: being surrounded by friends being physically active, being involved in life, and being open to spirituality
58:10 Don’t “do,” just breathe
Sign up for marriage coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
Subscribe to The Suzanne Venker Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-suzanne-venker-show/id1471433977
1/10/2021 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 29 seconds
78. Marriage & Motherhood in a Woke World: A Conversation with Lauren Southern
Lauren Southern is an independent Canadian journalist, author and documentary filmmaker. She's currently completing the production of her third documentary film Crossfire which investigates the political power struggle between Black Lives Matter and police forces in America.
In addition, Lauren has written a new children's book, Henry the Sheepdog, to help parents combat the propaganda their children are besieged with on a daily basis.
Lauren's most important project to date, however, is being a mother and a wife to her wonderful family in Australia where she's situated now.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:00 Lauren tells the audience about her history and work spanning from social activism to her documentary making
9:00 Lauren discusses her upbringing and what made her brave enough to start publicly confronting liberal talking points
13:30 Lauren's viral video, “Why I’m Not Married”
18:00 Why millennials have trouble navigating relationships
22:00 Lauren's experience navigating motherhood, marriage, and career
25:00 Lauren and Suzanne discuss getting married young
29:30 Lauren's children’s book, “Henry the Sheepdog”
32:10 Suzanne and Lauren discuss raising countercultural parenting and how to teach kids to think critically
43:00 Why we need more conservatives in the arts
46:10 Lauren talks about her new documentary “Crossfire"
Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
1/3/2021 • 52 minutes, 26 seconds
77. What Does Masculinity and Femininity LOOK Like?: Suzanne Venker w Andre Paradis
Andre Paradis is back to talk with Suzanne about all things male and female!
IN THIS EPISODE:
8:50 What is gender intelligence?
11:30 If you want a healthy relationship with a man, you have to find out why he's compelled to say and do what he does
15:50 There has to be a balance between masculinity and femininity
17:40 Too many women confuse stepping into their femininity with “dumbing themselves down”
18:50 To be “feminine” is to be creative, experience life, be vulnerability, being magnetic, etc.
20:00 – A woman’s childhood has a lot to do with her rejection or acceptance of her femininity
22:22 – How a woman stepping into her femininity affects relationships
25:30 – Men are motivated and energized by the pressure to work and provide. It is the opposite for women
29:45 - For men, relaxing is recovering. When women take everything on they tend to go all day until they crash
32:20 – If women DO everything, men will let them do it
34:40 – Men and women are not equal as in the same. If you do not understand this, you will fail.
39:00 – It comes down to priorities between work and family. No one can do both. You have to make a choice
45:20 - Suzanne and Andres talk about resentment in marriage towards their husbands when it comes to women with their careers
48:30 - Women have to calibrate when to “produce” and when to “let go”
51:45 - Fighting nature is why many women are single or in unhappy relationships
54:00 - What makes a man show-up and stick around
Sign up for marriage coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
12/27/2020 • 58 minutes, 53 seconds
76. Get on the Same Page with Your Spouse About These 4 Things: Suzanne Venker
Research shows, and experience demonstrates, that there are 4 main potential stressors in every marriage. If you and your spouse can agree on these early on, you’re way ahead of the game. But if you missed the boat, hope is not lost. You and your spouse can get on the same page anytime you want. All you have to do is make up your mind to do so—and it’s critical that you do. The four areas of marriage that cause the most discord and potential divorce are: money, parenting, in-laws, and religion.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:00 The 4 most important things to be on the same page about when it comes to staying married
3:30 Money & Marriage: Why is it so important? Why do we behave and think the way we do with money?
6:00 Growing up, was the conversation around money calm or stressful? Suzanne talks about why this matters and describes the different types of upbringings related to finances
12:20 You will likely marry, or have already married, someone who had a different upbringing when it comes to money
15:20 Millennial couples talk and think about money very differently than any other generation
16:25 Suzanne talks about her coaching business and how many of her clients talk about money as “his” and “hers” instead of “ours” and how it affects their marriages
**18:00 When you marry someone, you take on their background and that includes their debt! Tackling this TOGETHER is the only way out.
20:00 Why being on the same page about parenting and about balancing work/family life is crucial to a successful marriage
26:25 Suzanne discusses the reality of combining work and family 28:05 Why the majority of my clients who work full-time and year-round with children have major marital issues
36:20 Your marriage must come first over your family of origin. If you do not create a fortress, there will be constant conflict in your marriage re your families of origin
38:00 Bottom line with all marital issues: Get on the same page with your spouse!
12/20/2020 • 42 minutes, 34 seconds
75. How to Raise Countercultural Kids: Suzanne Venker
Need some support and validation for raising your kids counterculturally? If so, this is the podcast episode for you!
My husband Bill and I are almost empty nesters, and every step of the way we took some sort of heat for parenting differently than the way other people did, beginning w our babies’ sleep schedules, to my staying home w them, to the television programs we'd let them watch, to limits on screen time, to not allowing underage drinking, to talking very openly about money and sex.
It isn't easy to raise kids in a way that's different from the norm, nor is it always easy to set a good example for your kids. But it is absolutely, 100%, worth it.
None of us can ensure our children will make good decisions once they leave the nest, but we can (and should) set them up well while we have them.
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:50 Suzanne talks about her book “The Two-Income Trap,” why the early years of raising kids matter, and why “quality time” is a bogus idea
12:20 Building a bond with your children happens in the early years, which is why it is important to be home with them
15:25 Why a strict sleep schedule helps with disciplining children
18:15 Never treat your children as your “friend” and why that theme in modern parenting does NOT work
20:00 Kids crave to be safe and for the parents to be in control
21:15 Media is powerful. Watch what your kids take in. Raise your kids with entertainment that has substance, such as "old-school" TV with its timeless values, etc.
26:45 Use every opportunity to counteract social messaging in the media, movies, news and in school
31:25 Your kids do not have to travel all over the country to play sports
**32:52 Why money and sex need to be discussed, including, teaching the differences between boys and girls. Of all the countercultural parenting strategies, this is most important.**
**35:10 The trend is to raise boys and girls as though the are the same. There is no recognition for the fact that girls will eventually be the ones to have babies and boys will not—which means a woman's life trajectory will look very different from a man's**
40:20 Why talking to your kids about money, debt and finances is important and how this affects marriages/relationships in the long-term
42:25 You can go to college relatively debt-free by choosing a college you can afford. This message is not encouraged in the mainstream culture
45:40 It makes no sense to raise your daughters the same as boys
47:40 The more you raise your kids counter-culturally, the more successful they will be
12/13/2020 • 49 minutes, 8 seconds
74. What Happens When Wives Earn More: Suzanne Venker
According to the Natural Bureau of Economic Research, when wives earn more than their husbands the couple are 15% less likely to have a “very happy” marriage, 32% more likely to report marital troubles, and 46% more likely to report separating.
Those are some big numbers. And there's a perfectly good reason for them, but you'd be hard pressed to find people who are willing to talk about those reasons since they fly in the face of cultural narratives.
But that's what we're going to do today.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:00 Suzanne highlights studies from various publications about wives who earn more than their husbands
4:25 The media's response to the studies
5:45 The real reason why women earning more typically doesn't work
10:15 Women do not become emboldened by becoming breadwinners. They become resentful
13:30 Gender role reversal sets up a competitive relationship between husband and wife
13:40 There's a vast middle ground bw mothers working f/t and year-round and moving in and out of the workforce, working part-time, etc.
15:10 What happens when the roles are reversed
15:30 When the average father is the primary earner, he doesn’t typically use money as a means of control. When women earn more than men, they view their income as “theirs”
17:40 Suzanne reads from an article from a man who had struggles with his own wife regarding her high earning status and how their sex life was affected
20:25 Most women do not consciously choose the role of breadwinner
21:20 What is hypergamy?
22:50 The less traditional the marriage, the more problems Suzanne sees in her coaching
25:10 When a husband earns more than his wife, there's more natural sexual energy bw them. The sex and respect fall away when it's reversed
Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
**Get a personalized, signed copy of The Alpha Females Guide to Men and Marriage at the $20 Patreon Level!** (U.S. ONLY)
12/6/2020 • 32 minutes, 26 seconds
73. How The Pill Sabotaged Women's Sexual Power: Suzanne Venker
The birth control pill has facilitated a massive change in human sexual behavior. But the subsequent development of casual sexual relations in the form of “hookup culture” has enhanced, not equalized, biological sex differences.
This is especially true when it comes to sexual strategy and levels of preference for emotional investment from partners.
The significant influence of biology on everyday desires and emotions proves biology still holds important gravity when it comes to sex.
Join Suzanne and the daughter of a friend of hers, Lily, who's a senior in college and an Anthropology major. Not one to shy away from difficult topics in the pursuit of truth, Lily has written a controversial senior thesis entitled The Pill: Implications for How a Medical Technology Changed the Meaning of Sex.
The message? That women have, ironically, given up their sexual power by becoming sexually “liberated” and by believing that any differences we see between the sexes have no basis in biology.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:15 Suzanne reads from Lily’s senior thesis on birth control and sex differences
4:20 Lily talks about her experience in college with her research in anthropology, science, and biology
6:30 Why the birth control pill has disempowered women
9:10 When casual sex became normalized, and the pill gave women the ability to control their reproductive system, it in turn gave the illusion that men and women are “the same” sexually, which they are not
10:30 How dating has changed in light of the legalization of the pill
12:00 How the pill was the boiling point that changed sex and dating
12:42 Men have a different motivation and strategy for sex than women
15:11 The risk of pregnancy kept people in line sexually.
15:50 3 likely explanations for the inequity in men and women despite the existence of the pill:
Physical differences & sexual arousal
Variation in sexual motivation
Emotional differences between men and women after casual sex
16:55 Men are three times more likely to masturbate more than once a week and are more likely to reach orgasm during casual hookups
19:25 If women were the same as men, they would be at a disadvantage evolutionarily, men wouldn’t be as good of fathers. This is why the dating process exists.
24:07 Women and men both initiate casual hookups, but women have more negative reactions after the hookup. Most women are surprised to find they develop feelings
26:06 The variation in sexual motivators between men and women
35:20 The pill and sexual promiscuity has led to confusion
35:48 A change in culture does not mean that biology itself has changed
40:25 Suzanne and Lily discuss the “dating rules” and why they work
42:50 Why “making him wait” is the right dating strategy
53:20 Lily talks about dating in her generation
57:35 Why women tend to date older men
1:00:00 Have standards, and men will rise to meet them
1:05:00 Lily and Suzanne answer the Email of the Day
Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
11/29/2020 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 56 seconds
72. The Emotionally Unavailable Mother: Erica Komisar, LCSW
Depression and anxiety take root in childhood, writes veteran psychoanalyst Erica Komisar. Parents who are concerned about their children’s mental health and emotional well-being need to know that early intervention and guidance is the way to prevent early symptoms in children from developing into long-term mental disorders.
The way to avoid this? Be there. Not just physically but emotionally.
Erica is a parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for 25 years. She’s the author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, which is based on more than two decades of clinical work and breakthrough neurobiological research and challenges the pervasive myths of infant resiliency and the concept of women being able to ‘have it all.’
Erica's new book, which will be published in 2021, is about the equally significant value of being there for one's children in the teenage years.
Erica's work teaches parents how to raise emotionally healthy children by being as present emotionally and physically as possible from infancy through adolescence. In this podcast episode, she and I discuss why this is vital to children's development and how those whose mothers were not emotionally available can break the cycle.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:00 What devaluing mothering does to children in the short- and long-term, especially when it comes to children learning how to regulate their emotions
7:30 Erica talks about how skin to skin contact regulates a baby’s emotions and regulates their stress. She discusses how we expose them to too much stress now because of our lifestyle. ex. going to work , daycare, etc.
8:55 Suzanne talks about the vast priority shift that happens when you become a mother vs. when you are in the working world without children
14:20 Erica and Suzanne talk about how important it is to be on the same page with your spouse about family, motherhood and if you (the woman) will stay home
15:20 Suzanne and Erica talk about “guilt” and how it impacts women and why it's different for men
18:40 Erica explains the “boredom” of early motherhood, what that means, how for many it's related to postpartum depression
21:30 Quality time vs. quantity time and moment to moment nurturing
24:00 Erica talks about how fragile emotionally and neurologically babies are and how different our lives and our family’s lives would be if we as a culture understood that
24:50 Erica talks about her new book, coming out next year, and about being an emotionally available parent in adolescence
28:40 What IS an emotionally unavailable mother?
32:10 Erica explains attachment disorders and how babies create “strategies” to emotionally unavailable mother
33:40 Suzanne and Erica discuss how parents today are distracted, preoccupied with themselves and not present
35:25 The alcoholic mother and how alcoholism is a symptom of depression
37:00 Suzanne talks about different forms of depression, including post-divorce depression
40:00 Abandonment issues from childhood stays with you and carries over into your other relationships
43:15 The “absentee mother”
45:15 Erica talks about her counseling practice and what she has seen during COVID-19
49:40 What makes a “good” mother?
Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
11/22/2020 • 54 minutes, 26 seconds
71. The Myth of Male Power (and Other Uncomfortable Facts about Women and Men):Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
Dr. Warren Farrell is a political scientist, activist, and author of seven books on men’s and women’s issues. He was chosen by The Financial Times of London as one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders, and his books have been published in more than 50 countries, and in 19 languages. Warren’s most recent book, The Boy Crisis, was published with John Gray (who we had on a few weeks ago!) and was a finalist for the Indie book publishing award. His other books include The New York Times bestseller Why Men Are the Way They Are, plus the international best seller, The Myth of Male Power. Some of Warren’s other books include Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say and Why Men Earn More. When he’s not touring the country discussing the problems facing our boys and men, Warren runs couples’ workshops, where he specializes in helping people receive criticism from their partner without becoming defensive.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:00 Warren talks about his background with the National Organization of Women
11:34 Female victim power destroyed the women's movement
13:45 Warren talks about HR departments and their bias and why male CEOs are reticent to mentor women because of the risk of losing their jobs
16:20 Male privilege and the myth of male power
21:45 Real power is being "happy"
25:00 Warren explains that his father told him that being a man is not doing what you want to do but what you have to do and what is best to do
27:00 Warren talks about how his change in viewpoint and The Myth of Male Power caused him to lose speaking engagements
32:45 The real liberation of women came from technology and the birth control pill not from “feminism”
37:24 The reality of gender pay gap
38:55 The feminist movement is so toxic it no longer thanks men for anything or acknowledges that men and women are different
40:28 Warren talks how he could no longer teach at any major University because of his public views, and how liberals are no longer the party of free speech
43:00 Warren talks about his couples communication courses and how “The Boy Crisis” came from his experience with divorced couples
49:40 Warren talks about his views on Black Lives Matter and the African American community, mass shootings and how fathers are integral in boys lives
52:25 Warren describes the “Boy Crisis”
58:45 How dads being away from the family too much to earn money is detrimental to the children
1:00:00 Your attitude at work is not the same attitude that makes you successful in love
1:04:50 Women have a harder time “turning off” work mode
1:05:45 Love's biggest depleters: complaining, criticizing, controlling, and complacency
Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
11/15/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 34 seconds
70. What It Means to Be a Man—In Any Era: Michael Durkin
What do women find attractive in a man? Why are millennial men at such a disadvantage when it comes to marriages and relationships today? How can men rebuild themselves after a divorce?
These are just some of the questions author Michael J. Durkin will answer today. Durkin is an author, speaker and self-described maniac committed to the strengthening of men, women, families and the planet. He is the author of 8 business books and has spoken in front of audiences as few as 6 and as large as 26,000!
He is the creator of the Men of Honor Podcast, which strives to help men become better fathers, husbands, sons, boyfriends, and community leaders. Michael weaves his own wisdom and personal experiences into his teachings on marriage, business success, parenting, fitness and masculinity. He is passionate about keeping families together, making marriages joyful, and giving children a place to grow and learn. He is also fan of putting the hot, seductive, alluring SEX back into marriages where it belongs.
Michael has survived and re-built his life after a devastating divorce. He is married to a woman he dubs The Beautiful Bonnie, and they live happily tucked away in the woods of Northwestern CT.
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:40 What women find attractive in men
8:45 Nagging
10:00 How men have listened to a narrative that tells them they need to be soft and are not supposed to be “doers” and men became confused
10:55 Why men “showing up” in their marriages causes their relationships to change
12:26 Every problem a man has with communication, arguments and sex has to do with them
13:43 Suzanne and Michael discuss millennial men
16:14 Michael explains what he thinks he did to cause his own marriage to end
17: 45 How men “jump through hoops” to please their wives
19:20 Since the sexual revolution, men have been taught through every movie and song that they need to be sensitive and emotional and how this has destroyed men and relationships
24:00 Men need to be with other men and women need to be with other women
26:30 A woman cannot love a man she doesn't respect **
27:55 Millennial women think they need to be able to tell their husbands everything and that their husbands should be their best girlfriend
32:35 Suzanne and Michael discuss why women “test” men
37:10** The “trifecta of chaos” and why men in today’s society need to become solid
39:40 The 3 ways men can rebuild themselves after divorce
48:38 Why sex often dies with marriage
54:25 Why “hard attracts soft” and how opposites complement each other
57:55 Suzanne discusses her coaching practice and how women have a hard time learning to “receive"
*FALL COACHING SPECIAL* Use code "fall2020" for 15% off Premarital/Newly Married 4-Session Coaching Package with Suzanne. Go to: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
11/8/2020 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 16 seconds
69. Behind the Scenes of Feminism's Destructive Legacy: Mallory Millett
Feminist icon Kate Millett passed away three years ago at the age of 82. Her 1970 book, Sexual Politics was called “the Bible of Women’s Liberation” by The New York Times and had a seismic effect on feminist thought. It launched Millett as what the Times called “a defining architect of second-wave feminism.” In a cover story that same year, TIME magazine crowned her “the Mao Tse-tung of Women’s Liberation.”
But Kate’s sister Mallory is the polar opposite of her sister. In a riveting article entitled, “Marxist Feminism’s Ruined Lives,” Mallory revealed what she saw of the subversive undercurrent of her sister’s passionate radicalism.
An unrepentant conservative, Mallory has been very vocal about her early experiences with the feminist movement and her subsequent defection. She’s a former actress who resides in New York City with her husband of over twenty years.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:35 Mallory talks about being the sister of feminist icon Kate Millett and why she started writing about her experiences with Kate
6:20 Mallory talks about how the radical feminists' ultimate goal was to destroy Western Civilization
7:45 Mallory talks about her relationship with her sister and how bad their relationship was growing up, how her sister got her to go to NY to become a part of the feminist revolution
9:00 Mallory describes sitting in on consciousness-raising meetings and what feminists' goals really were
12:00 Mallory talks about how the state of the country today was plotted and did not happen inadvertently
14:00 Mallory talks about the word “empowerment” and how feminists hijacked that term. She also discusses the #MeToo movement
15:40 Mallory talks about her experience as an actress with Roman Polanski
17:30 Mallory discusses how her sister Kate was the founder of Women’s Studies courses in colleges/universities
17:50 Mallory talks about the “slavery of the male”
20:30 Mallory discusses promiscuity and how women have used birth control and abortion to become “equal” with men
22:00 Suzanne discusses how all of the above plays into her work as a marriage coach
24:00 Mallory and Suzanne discuss how when the biology of men and women is discussed, it is seen as “going back” as opposed to “going forward” (as John Gray, Ph.D., also noted last week in his podcast)
26:30 Suzanne reads from Mallory’s article regarding how feminism has invaded its way into entertainment, government and education in 50 short years
28:30 Mallory discusses abortion, her own abortions and how you can change your beliefs
31:00 Mallory talks about Joe Biden and the presidential election
32:15 Suzanne and Mallory discuss cultural Marxism, Karl Marx and the National Organization of Women
37:00 Amy Coney Barrett, current politics, the election and more
*FALL COACHING SPECIAL* Use code "fall2020" for 15% off Premarital/Newly Married 4-Session Coaching Package with Suzanne. Go to: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
11/1/2020 • 52 minutes, 55 seconds
68. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: John Gray, Ph.D.
There are relationship experts…and then there’s John Gray. The author of the most popular relationship book of all time, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, John’s wisdom about the inherent differences between women and men, as well as what it takes to build a lasting, loving relationship have now influenced two generations of men and women. Men are from Mars was listed by USA Today as #6 among the most influential books of the last quarter century. But there’s more. In his more recent book, Beyond Mars and Venus, John explains why being a man or a woman in today’s society is more nuanced and complex than ever. And yet, despite these changes, men and women remain fundamentally different on a hormonal level, as do their needs in today’s evolving and stressful fast-paced world. To meet these new needs, we require a new kind of relationship. In Beyond Mars and Venus, John takes the Mars-Venus framework to the next level. John's website is www.marsvenus.com.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:30 John explains his inspiration for Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
6:30 John talks about his newer book, Beyond Mars and Venus
9:00 John talks about how men can calm a women in an argument and what both men and women need
10:30 John talks about his inspiration with his book titles and how saying that men are women are different is dangerous in the university world
13:45 John notes that though the world is changing and men's and women’s roles are more fluid, biology doesn’t change. Suzanne talks about the uprising of Covid-19 divorce, and inflated expectations
16:00 - 18:28 John talks about how moods are regulated by hormones and how men and women react to stress differently
18:30 Suzanne talks about her coaching practice and how typically the women are taking on too much and cannot get back into their “feminine” space. John then explains ways for women to do that
20:00 John talks about how happiness comes from within, that your partner doesn’t have the ability to make you happy, and how Covid-19 is affecting marriages
21:40 - 28:00 John talks about the tools that lower a woman’s stress and describes a method/game he came up—called Genie in a Bottle—to improve a couple’s relationship, which speaks to the power of the mind.
28:55 Suzanne and John talk about nagging and complaining and why giving unsolicited advice never works.
31:25 - 33:25 John talks about the ways in which women can “turn off” their masculine side
34:54 John describes the 4 steps of how to get a man to change bad behavior. 1. Stop complaining, withholding, nagging, and trying to “change" him. 2. De-stress yourself without depending on him/take responsibility for your happiness. 3. Men need messages that they’re appreciated and trusted. When you ask for help, you give him the opportunity to succeed. 4. Start asking for more in small increments.
40:59 John explains that when you need more than a man can provide, he stops giving.
42:25 How pretending to go back to the beginning of when you were dating can help improve your relationship
45:13- 47:34 John explains why a lot of men feel like no matter what they do, their wives are never happy and why men are now experiencing a lowering of testosterone.
51:14 John explains why the worst thing to say is to a man is, “We need to talk." AND MORE!
*FALL COACHING SPECIAL* Use code "fall2020" for 15% off Premarital/Newly Married 4-Session Coaching Package with Suzanne. www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
10/25/2020 • 1 hour, 1 minute, 13 seconds
67. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS.com): Dr. Les Parrott
Is marriage a crapshoot?
My guest today says no. He argues that couples who take a proactive approach to marriage have the best chance at having the most successful relationships.
His name is Les Parrott, and he’s a clinical psychologist specializing in marriage and family. He, along with his wife Leslie, who’s also a marriage therapist, wrote Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before — And After — You Marry.
Les and I are going to discuss how a person knows if he or she is ready for marriage, the myths people have about marriage that set them up for disappointment, and the 5 attitudes young people have about marriage that speak volumes about how the future success of their own marriages. We will also discuss the common traits of happily married couples.
While our conversation is geared toward engaged couples or newlyweds, even if you’ve been married a long time there are definite takeaways in this podcast that you won't to miss.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:15 You can only be as healthy as the “least healthy” partner in the relationship.
4:00 The most important thing you can do for your relationship is work on yourself.
4:20 How to cope when you’re working on yourself and your spouse isn’t
6:00 If you try to build intimacy with a person before you’ve taken care of your own issues, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself and they’ll fall flat.
6:40 We never really “arrive”; we’re always in progress.
9:15 How a couple manages conflict is a big factor in how successful a marriage will be
10:30-12:20 Les discusses “good” fighting. A good fight results in deeper intimacy and allows both parties to be heard.
12:24 Les explains important aspects of self-awareness, including “authenticity”
15:15 – 23:13 Les explains the 5 attitudes young people have towards marriage: “resolute,” “rational,” “romantic,” “restless,” and “reluctant.”
23:40 The benefits of pre-marital counseling
30:25 SYMBIS, or Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, is about learning how to “match well” and how to leverage that to have the best relationship you can have
36:24 Les talks about the 3 ingredients of romantic love: “passion,” “intimacy,” and “commitment” and how these 3 ingredients are fluid and change throughout the course of a relationship
43:00 How having a baby changes the marital dynamic
45:00- Les discusses his program betterlove.com
10/18/2020 • 55 minutes, 25 seconds
66. Amy Coney Barrett Brings Family & Religion to the Forefront of American Politics: Joy Pullmann
Smart, accomplished, and a religious wife and mother? Do such women exist? I thought a traditional life was an impediment to a woman being successful in the world outside her doorstep. According to the powers that be, these two worlds are wildly at odds.
Enter Amy Coney Barrett, President Trump’s nominee for the Supreme Court, who comes along to put that narrative to rest. If confirmed, Barrett will replace feminist icon Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and the left can’t stand it. They’re positively green with envy. How can a woman look as graceful and as feminine as Barrett, with a husband and seven kids to boot, and somehow make it to the Supreme Court? To make matters worse, Barrett says things like this: “What greater thing can you do than raise children? That’s where you have your greatest impact on the world.” It’s enough to drive a feminist mad. Here to talk with me about why the left really hates Amy Coney Barrett is Joy Pullmann, executive editor of The Federalist, as well as a happy wife and mother of six children.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:00 How and why ACB is the polar opposite of Ruth Bader Ginsberg
5:00 Why ACB's very existence repudiates the left's view of women and how her nomination has brought what it means to be family oriented to the forefront
6:10 How women have used abortion as a means to get ahead in their careers since babies/family don’t “fit” into a career-focused woman’s life
7:45 How unlikely it is for a typical woman to have ACB’s career and as many kids as she has. Suzanne discusses how women “having it all” at once is a myth and how ACBs support system (husband, in laws/family) helped her become who she is today.
10:55 – 13:00 What it takes to have “balance” in your life and the different components such as giving up social media, going out to parties, having helpful in-laws, does the husband/wife work full-time?, etc.
13:00 The benefit of having a large family and how older kids help raise younger kids
15:20 Young women need to understand that they shouldn’t look at ACB and think this is attainable for most women and how a lot of women do not want the kind of career that she has
16:50 –18:20 Suzanne talks about her frustration with some women on the right who think women can rise to the top of their profession and have many children at the same time
18:24 Women on the left want government to raise your kids so you don’t have to orchestrate your life
19:25 Joy describes that when she gets tired, she often gets frustrated with her husband and how she has to put that into perspective by taking stock of how she can improve her day-to-day to make it easier.
20:35 How government-run daycare is not a good plan and how the left’s narrative regarding working women fosters the resentment that men aren’t doing their fair share
21:20 – 22:30 Suzanne and Joy talk about COVID-19 divorce
22:30 How ACB embraced marriage and motherhood alongside her professional endeavors, which is atypical for women in politics
23:10 – 26:00 How the left uses The Handmaid's Tale imagery and the double standards that come along with that
26:05 ACB says the greatest thing you can do is raise children and how that is rarely acknowledged by any woman in power
26:40 Joy describes the impact you make on the world raising children
27:30 ACB is a happy woman, and it drives the left crazy. Even without her professional success, she would be happy because of her faith and her family.
28:15 –30:08 The left constantly smears religious people as uneducated and why that narrative is a manipulative power-play
and MORE!
10/11/2020 • 51 minutes, 28 seconds
65. Is Technology Ruining Your Relationships at Home?: Adam Alter
Can’t get your kids off their laptops or smartphones? What about your spouse? Does it sometimes appear that he or she is more in love with technology than with you? Welcome to the age of behavioral addiction, where half of the American population is addicted to at least one behavior. We obsess over our emails, Instagram likes, and Facebook feeds; we binge on TV episodes and YouTube videos; we work longer hours each year; and we spend an average of three hours each day using our smartphones. Half of us would rather suffer a broken bone than a broken phone, and millennial kids spend so much time in front of screens that they struggle to interact with real, live humans.
In Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, psychologist and professor Adam Alter tracks the rise of behavioral addiction. Though these miraculous products melt the miles that separate people across the globe, their extraordinary and sometimes damaging magnetism is no accident. The companies that design these products tweak them over time until they become almost impossible to resist. By reverse engineering behavioral addiction, Alter explains how we can harness addictive products for the good—to improve how we communicate with each other, spend and save our money, and set boundaries between work and play—and how we can mitigate their most damaging effects on our well-being, as well as on the health of our relationships.
5:00 Why technology is designed to be addictive
6:00 The “rewards” that come from social media, our phones and technology in general
7:14 Suzanne describes how her own kids were not raised in a time where tech inundated the average household and how parents now have to contend with raising kids in a technology-centered culture
7:50-9:57 What’s lost in the parenting experience as tech continues to explode
10:00-11:15 Why children and teens are especially vulnerable to technology addiction
11:15-13:15 Parents are also addicted to technology, which is why it is hard to enforce rules with kids when it comes to screen time
13:15 How parents use screens as a babysitter and why kids need to learn delayed gratification
14:08 Suzanne and Adam talk about the days before technology and how families used to fill that downtime with other things such as music, games, reading, etc.
14:50 Grappling with boredom and downtime is an important life tool. Adam talks about how creativity and ingenuity is fostered by making your own entertainment.
15:33-18:40 Tech titans promote their products publicly, but typically don’t let their kids use them in their own homes.
18:40 What makes people want to keep “clicking” which includes “rewards” and social engagement
20:20 The difference between using technology and doing something like reading a book. He explains “natural stopping points” and how technology does not have natural stopping points because of bottomless newsfeeds, Netflix/YouTube utilizing “post play” and how these changes have made it hard to control technology addiction.
22:55 Adam talks about how reading books is more demanding of the brain and how tech devices put us in a trance-like state.
24:50 If you don’t remove the tool, you’re going to have constant interruptions in your personal time/life with your spouse.
25:30 How phones are distracting, degrade your relationships and how they affect your relationships
28:00 How to work towards stopping tech addiction and how their should be certain times of the day where it “looks like the 1950s” and create a tech-free environment
30:00-Both parents/partners need to be on the same page regarding their policy with tech and phones
34:15 -37:10 Adam gives his advice to people who want to break their addiction to devices
10/4/2020 • 44 minutes, 49 seconds
64. Are You Hiding From Your Relationship with Money?: Tiffany Couch
Most of us have been conditioned to not talk about our finances. But for many people, confronting their issues with money is crucial to having a successful personal relationship with money, as well as having a healthy marriage.
Our culture places a high premium on financial success, and far many people blame themselves if they aren’t keeping up with their peers. But when we shame ourselves for our past financial decisions or for our current financial situation, we are incapable of making any change.
To move forward and make real change, you must learn how to cope with your shame in a way that makes it lessen over time.
Here with me today to discuss how to overcome money shame is forensic accountant Tiffany Couch, whose career brought her face to face with this issue.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:50 What is money shame?
9:15 Suzanne asks Tiffany about the types of money issues she sees in her business. Tiffany talks about a particular story with a client that has to do with emotions including, shame, embarrassment & betrayal.
13:00 Tiffany talks about divorce litigation in her business and how spouses typically do not have a cohesive relationship with money. A lot of times this has to do with having separate finances.
14:40 Suzanne and Tiffany talk about the “WHY” when it comes to finances. They talk about the different money scripts people carry into their adult lives. They also discuss why couples do not have a cohesive relationship with money, why couples decide to have separate finances and how that speaks to bigger emotional issues.
16:15 Tiffany discusses how a lot of couples handle money in their relationships and how financial issues are typically a marital problem not a math problem.
16:45 Suzanne talks about how emotional and deep money is and how it relates to how we feel and think about ourselves, our desires/wants and the other person in the relationship.
17:40 The different money “scripts," such as being embarrassed by debt, not having enough, inheriting money or even having too much money.
18:47 Suzanne asks Tiffany about her experiences related to these scripts in her work and own marriage, how most people carry a script about money and how it rarely discussed
19:50 Suzanne tells her story about the money messages she received from her parents growing up. How we also each carry our own stories into our relationships and marriages.
24:40 Tiffany tells her story about the money messages she received from her parents and grandparents. She also talks about her marriage and how money affected her marriage
27:45 Tiffany talks about her big shame of making a lot of money and having nothing to show for it and the shame associated with that. How she eventually learned a better way to handle her relationship with money.
30:00 Suzanne talks about how she and her husband have overcome money challenges.
31:35 How people spend to fill holes that have nothing to do with money.
31:45 How to have a good personal relationship with money and do the same within your marriage
36:15 Two specific scripts that do not get a lot of attention: #1- people that make good money but want more and how that has to do with wanting safety.
37:50-40:15 #2 “ I make so much money that I am embarrassed.” and why that usually takes form in shame.
40:20 How money can cause conflict in a relationship
42:34 Suzanne talks about “financial intimacy” and why not having it is harmful to a marriage
45:05 Where we spend our money shows what we value.
45:35 When you can start talking about your feelings towards money and bring them to the surface, you can change your marriage for the better.
9/27/2020 • 57 minutes, 1 second
63. The 40-Year War on the American Family: Dr. James Dobson
The breakdown of the family, in all its many forms, has been and continues to be the single greatest travesty this country faces. When you look at almost every other issue—whether it’s violence, promiscuity, truancy, drugs, divorce, even anxiety—it almost always goes back to the beginning: how our children are raised.
This is a very delicate and controversial topic but one that can only be ignored at our peril. When I decided to do this episode, I could think of no one better to discuss it w me than Dr. James Dobson, who has spent his life dedicated to this issue.
Dr. Dobson is an author and psychologist, as well as the Founder and President of "Family Talk.” Prior to that, he was Founder of "Focus on the Family." Dr. Dobson has been active in governmental affairs and has advised five U.S. presidents on family matters and in 2008 was inducted into The National Radio Hall of Fame.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:25 Suzanne and Dr. Dobson discuss how they met
5:15 Dr. Dobson talks about how there are eternal values that don’t change in life regardless of the culture, specifically when it comes to the differences between boys and girls.
7:00-10:25 Boys need men to tell them how to be masculine, and mothers are not equipped to do that with boys. Dr. Dobson and Suzanne discuss a mother's and a father's unique roles in a son's life.
10: 30 The two developmental crises in a child’s life
11:30-13:10 How to build a relationship of love and respect with your kids
13:20 Why modern parenting doesn’t work
14:30 The fine line in disciplining kids and why getting that in balance is a very important task in parenting
15:25 The secret to discipline and why anger is not a good method for disciplining kids.
16:35 Suzanne and Dr. Dobson talk about their experience in the classroom as teachers.
18:00 Dr. Dobson and Suzanne discuss the significance of the family and the breakdown of the family.
21:00 The cultural shift and where the breakdown in the family began
22:35 The government’s role in the breakdown of the family
27:25 How divorce affects kids and the effect of father absence
30:15 How the lack of fathers has contributed to “boy men” and the lack of marriageable men
32:00 Dr. Dobson asks Suzanne about her own experience raising her kids and raising her kids counterculturally.
35:00 Dr. Dobson talks about traditional values and how the culture has departed from traditional wisdom and common sense when it comes to raising children.-
36:10 Suzanne talks about her new eBook, How to Be a Wife: 7 Secret Steps to a Peaceful and Passionate Relationship with Your Man
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9/20/2020 • 41 minutes, 17 seconds
62. The Inevitable Fallout of the Millennial Woman's Life Plan
Since the time they went off to college, millennials have been on the wrong track when it comes to life and love. But it isn't their fault. Their parents, aka baby boomers, led millennials astray.
“We suffered from the educational debt phenomenon because when we couldn’t find jobs, a lot of us went to college. Or we got graduate degrees. Our boomer parents encouraged us to fund a lot of that with debt, on the premise that it would eventually pay off in the job market.
But that was clearly wrong, and we’re paying the price for it,” writes Wall Street Journal columnist Joseph Sternberg in this interview about his new book, The Theft of a Decade: How the Baby Boomers Stole the Millennials’ Economic Future.
All of that is true, but there's more. The narrative Boomers promoted re men, marriage, school, work and motherhood has resulted in the troubles millennials now face.
In this episode, Suzanne and her millennial assistant, Kelsey Merritt, discuss the poor choices millennial women make when it comes to money, men and marriage.
In this episode, Suzanne and her assistant Kelsey talk about millennial women and why their approach to education, men, marriage, and motherhood has led them to unhappiness, debt, and being unsatisfied in their personal lives. Kelsey tells her own story of awakening to countercultural views and how Covid-19 changed her financial perspective and wedding plans, leading to her and her husband's decision to elope.
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9/13/2020 • 57 minutes, 15 seconds
61. The Myth of the Soul Mate: W. Bradford Wilcox, Ph.D.
How do young people today view marriage? Of those surveyed in one National Marriage Project poll, 88% of singles agreed there was a “special person, a soul mate,” waiting for them somewhere out there. This same poll found that for 80% of the women polled, a husband who could articulate his deepest feelings was a better catch than one who earned a good living. This soulmate model of marriage suggests there’s one unique person on the planet who connects with us by meeting our deepest longings, desires, and needs. It prioritizes skills such as the expression of feelings and the ability to spark romantic or sexual chemistry. A soulmate marriage is supposed to make you feel, in a word, happy. There’s just one problem: It’s a myth. The soulmate view of marriage is not conducive to a permanent commitment because it’s deeply indebted to a romanticized way of thinking about love. No one person is capable of giving us great pleasure and great happiness all or even most of the time. That is why men and women who embrace the soulmate model are often left deeply disappointed by the real-world realities of love and marriage.
Here with me today is Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist who serves as Director of the National Marriage Project. He’s also a Professor of Sociology at the University of Virginia, a Senior Fellow at the Institute for Family Studies, and a Visiting Scholar at the American Enterprise Institute. His research—which has been featured in TNYT, the WSJ, NPR and the Today Show—focuses on ways in which marriage, gender and culture influence the quality and stability of family life in the US and around the globe. His website is https://www.wbradfordwilcox.com/.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:20 Brad talks about the book Eat, Pray, Love and its author Elizabeth Gilbert: how that book portrays the “soul mate” myth and why this particular story resonated with young adults.
10:40 — 13:28 Suzanne and Brad talk about the soul mate myth in popular culture (such as A Marriage Story) and how these stories have affected people’s view of marriage in real life.
14:00 Brad talks about how the younger generation don’t realize the other “goods” that come along with marriage i.e., financial stability, the welfare of children, support from kin and they oftentimes only think about marriage as being just “intense love and emotional connection."
15:15 — 19:50 Suzanne and Brad discuss how important marriage is to growing wealth and to a couple’s financial future. Suzanne talks about her concern with how women no longer consider a man’s financial stability prior to marriage, which will cause problems in the marriage in the future.
20:10 Brad talks about how the divorce rate increased as the soul mate myth became more prevalent
22:00 When people embrace the soul mate myth, they are less likely to be happily married.
25:00 Brad talks about how now more people are relying on the state instead of relying upon their family and spouses and how COVID-19 may inspire a more family-based model when it comes to marriage since people are realizing they can’t rely on the state, their employer, etc.
27:45 Why “feelings” aren’t always a good gauge for a successful marriage. “Love is not a feeling. It’s a decision.”
31:55 How intense passion and romance fades from all relationships eventually.
34:30 Suzanne talks about being an almost empty nester and about the different seasons of a marriage
36:40 — 40:00 You're far less likely to be happy when you’re pursuing it directly.
41:00 The alternative to the soul mate myth model is the “family first” model.
9/6/2020 • 49 minutes, 34 seconds
60. Up Close and Personal with Suzanne Venker
In this episode, Suzanne gets up close and personal in her first-ever solo podcast.
Suzanne talks about her upbringing, the trajectory of her life and career, her first marriage, as well as her experiences with media bias towards her counter-cultural message. At the end of the show, she also takes listener questions and talks about her new e-Book, what's next for her coaching business and much more!
She also answers questions from listeners.
Sign up for marriage coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/
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8/30/2020 • 47 minutes, 34 seconds
59. “You don't want to be me": Getting Real with Wife, Mother and Forensic Accountant Tiffany Couch
One of the things I want to start doing at The Suzanne Venker Show is to highlight everyday Americans who have stories to tell that you would never hear in the media. In some cases, this may be due to the fact that the person isn’t prominent enough to create attention in media circles. Other times, a person is well-known by members of the media, but the story or message he or she has to tell conflicts with the message the media want to sell.
I’m a textbook example of the latter, but that’s a story for a different day. I have with me today wife, mother, author, and successful business owner Tiffany Couch who wants people to know that everything we’ve been told in the culture is a lie.
“On my way to getting real,” Tiffany writes, “I realized I was headed down a path where my gravestone would read, Great Forensic Accountant…and would say nothing about what really matters.
Most importantly (yes…MOST importantly), I’m a wife to a great husband. We’ve been married more than 23 years—and on my way to fame and fortune, I almost lost this marriage…and so much more. I traded success and money for my children’s time and attention. After all, isn’t that what successful women are supposed to do?
While my job is looking at numbers, interpreting them, and explaining them so that people like judges, lawyers, clients, and juries can make important decisions, I find my real passion is explaining tough concepts to people in a way they can understand. And that’s what I want to do at Let’s Get Real.”
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:50 – 7:57: Tiffany discusses how her very successful career bumped up against her personal life, her marriage and her family life. She also talks about how she came to realize that the success in her business didn’t equal a successful love/personal life and how she began to change her thinking
7:57 – Tiffany talks about how she almost lost her marriage. She talks about the roles of men and women and how her being the primary breadwinner almost destroyed her marriage.
9:45 – Tiffany and Suzanne discuss why women sometimes early on “jump in” to become the breadwinner and how it often doesn’t work out down the road. Tiffany talks about her experience with being the breadwinner and how that came to be.
13:20- Tiffany briefly talks about her childhood and why the fear of becoming like her mother pushed her to become successful in the marketplace and prioritizing that instead of staying home with her kids
15:00 – Tiffany talks about what she missed out on in her kids lives
15:45 – 17:00 - Tiffany talks about how being the boss at work led her to carry over that behavior in her marriage
17:05 –Tiffany talks about how her marriage issues came to a head and how they almost decided on divorce. She discusses her “epiphany” on saving her marriage and how changing her attitude changed and saved her marriage.
19:55 - Tiffany talks about how much her marriage changed along the way to her massive success
22:25 – Tiffany talks about mentoring young women to become forensic accountants and what she tells those young women
25:50 – Tiffany talks about her relationship with her kids and how that relationship shifted
30:00 - 35:30- Suzanne reads from Tiffany’s blog regarding her relationship with money. Suzanne and Tiffany discuss the significance of money in life and relationships.
35:35 – Tiffany talks about her website letsgetreallife.com
36:00 - Tiffany talks about letting go of shame regarding money
42:30 – 44:30 -Tiffany and Suzanne talk about marriage and money and how important it is. They talk about how separate bank accounts can destroy a relationship.
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8/23/2020 • 46 minutes, 5 seconds
58. Why Women Don't Want "Nice" Men: Dr. Robert Glover
“I was once a Nice Guy. I wanted to treat people well, and I wanted to be liked. While in my early 30s, in spite of my unwavering faith in this philosophy, my life was in crisis. One marriage had ended, and a second one wasn’t going well. My career dreams were stalled. I was frustrated, resentful, and confused.
I decided to start working on my situation and joined a men’s group. Honestly, my initial goal was to find out why the people around me weren’t responding so well to my Nice Guy philosophy, and I wanted to find out how to get them to change.
But within a short amount of time, I came to see that the problem was ME. I had an agenda. I had no boundaries. I was indirect. I was passive-aggressive. I wasn’t honest. I wasn’t always so nice.”
Those are the words of Dr. Robert Glover, author of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy and internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous publications. Through his book, online classes, workshops, podcasts, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of Nice Guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males.
Along with these personal changes have come similar transformations in these men's professional careers and intimate relationships.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:15 Dr. Glover talks about his own story and about how he came to write No More Mr. Nice Guy.
8:23 What a “nice guy” is and why it's a problem for relationships and career
10:15 What men do to cover up their “toxic shame”— which includes not being honest, being passive aggressive, etc.
12:00 The nice guy “spectrum” and some examples that he saw in his marriage and family therapy practice.
14:10 How the prevalence of males raised by women (single moms, teachers) has influenced the nice guy issue (as has the absence of strong masculine role models)
16:35 How he grew up in the late 60s and 70s and how that generation of men was influenced by the Vietnam War, the “Summer of Love” era and how a lot of men of the time rejected the values of their fathers
18:25 The cultural “perfect storm” and how that has led us to the dynamics between men and women today
22:00 How women don’t want to be responsible for all of the decisions in a relationship and would rather have the man take the lead
23:45 Dr. Glover and Suzanne talk about their past marriages and how it influenced their books and work
31:30 Science related to babies and children and how they develop and regulate emotions and also how that carries into adulthood
44:10 How being a “nice guy” sets men up for relationship failure and how it ultimately frustrates women
46:50 Even though women are strong, they don’t want to make all the decisions in a relationship. Dr. Glover talks about how important it is for men to set the tone, lead and “show up” in their relationships with women.
54:50 Sex, premature ejaculation, and how some nice guys hide their sexuality, which causes problems in their relationships
58:55 How women mistake the characteristics of the “nice guy” for a well-adjusted male
1:03:00 How “following through” is the number one trait that makes women feel safe
1:06:25 Dr. Glover and Suzanne answer the “Email of the Day."
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8/16/2020 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 30 seconds
57. The Bill & Suzanne Hour: Dumb Ideas about Marriage People Think They Have to Follow
Do you ever feel pressured from the culture to do marriage a certain way? Does it cause you to wonder about other people’s marriages—how they do things, perhaps—and then you get caught up in thoughts about what you think you should be doing?
As natural as that tendency may be, my husband Bill and I going to talk about why cultural pressures should not cause you to be plagued w feelings of inadequacy re your marriage so long what you do works for the both of you. To that end, we’re going to discuss five dumb ideas about marriage many people think they have to follow but actually don’t.
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:40 -13:05 — #1: There's no such thing as a 'soul mate.' Bill and Suzanne discuss the idea of soul mates and the idea that your spouse should be your soul mate, why soul mates are unrealistic and how you can “love someone” but that doesn’t mean that you should be with them. They also talk about the culture and how young people in particular are bombarded with the myth of the soul mate
13:10- 26:10 — #2: You don't have to sleep in the same bed to have a good marriage. Bill and Suzanne discuss the taboo of sleeping in different beds. They also talk about their own marriage in regards to sleeping in the same bed, the history of couples sleeping together in the same bed and how as marriage changes (due to stress, partners who snore, etc.) sometimes sleeping together in the same bed is too difficult
26:10-31:25 — #3: Your sex life doesn't need to look like the sex on TV. Bill and Suzanne talk about married sex, why your sex life will ebb & flow depending on where you are in your marriage and especially when you are raising your kids. They also discuss how the culture pushes a narrative that sex should be ultra romantic and you should be swinging from the chandelier and WHY THAT IS NOT REALISTIC!
31:25 - 36:05 — #4: Just because divorce has crossed your mind doesn't mean you married the wrong person. Bill and Suzanne talk about how through the course of marriage you will have ups and downs and just because you may have had a fleeting thought of divorce doesn’t mean you married the wrong person. They talk about how marital problems and issues do not get solved by leaving or by finding someone else, thinking the idea of “another life” would be better or more fulfilling.
36:10 - 44:25 — #5: There's no such thing as an "equal" marriage. Bill and Suzanne discuss why sex differences work in marriage. They also reflect on their own parents’ marriages and what they saw growing up with their own parents. They talk about how they brought what they saw in the past from their parents into their own marriage.
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8/9/2020 • 45 minutes, 56 seconds
56. Former Cosmopolitan Writer Regrets the Lies She Helped Sell to Women: Sue Ellen Browder
Every week I talk to women who’ve been utterly bamboozled by a culture steeped in feminist propaganda re work, sex, dating and relationships. So many of their problems stem from the sexual revolution, but rarely is this revolution talked about separately from the feminist movement.
How did the women’s movement, which fought for equal opportunity for women in education and the workplace, and the sexual revolution, which reduced women to ambitious sex objects, become so united?
My guest today answers that question in her book Subverted: How I Helped the Sexual Revolution Hijack the Women’s Movement. As a long-time freelance writer for Cosmopolitan magazine, Sue Ellen Browder wrote articles meant to soft-sell unmarried sex, contraception, and abortion as the single woman’s path to personal fulfillment.
Deeply regretting her involvement in such propaganda, Browder now admits that everything she wrote about the sexual revolution was based on lies. Now living a simple life in Wyoming, Sue Ellen is exposing feminist propaganda from the perspective of a whistleblower.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:45 - Sue Ellen discusses how she began her career as journalist and ended up working for Cosmopolitan Magazine
8:00 - Cosmopolitan magazine was the “Playboy” for young women. How the magazine was and is pro–unmarried sex and anti-motherhood
11:15 – How the messages being put out in the culture in magazines such as Cosmopolitan only serve a very small percent of the population
12:00- 14:15 - How the stories were “made up” and “fabricated” in the magazine to push the feminist narrative, including sleeping with married men for “fun” and not being monogamous
15:00 - 18:00 - Sue Ellen talks about propaganda and selling the “Cosmo lifestyle” in order to sell products and how ultimately that propaganda destroys societal order
18:00 – 22:38 - Sue Ellen talks about her book Subverted: How I Helped The Sexual Revolution Hijack the Women’s Movement and why she wrote it. She also discusses becoming Catholic and how that shaped her viewpoints
23:00 – 28:35 - How the sexual revolution and the women’s movement were separate movements and how they joined together via abortion
30:00 – Suzanne reads a section from Sue Ellen’s book that talks about how the sexual revolution and the women’s movement became so intertwined in the popular sphere that young women believe “liberation” means to go to college, pursue a career, postpone marriage and motherhood and be as sexually active as possible with no strings attached and how this has led to so much pain for women
32:50- Suzanne and Sue Ellen discuss why marrying on the earlier side is beneficial
34:45 – Sue Ellen talks about her abortion at 27, which was with her husband
38:15 – Sue Ellen talks about the reaction to her book
38:40- Sue Ellen talks about her own marriage with her husband and how divorce was never discussed despite fights
46:05 – 49:00 - Sue Ellen and Suzanne talk about sex in marriage
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8/2/2020 • 54 minutes, 40 seconds
55. The Sex-Starved Husband (and Other Raw Deals for Men): Bettina Arndt
When it comes to American women, there's no shortage of attention paid to their needs, their desires, their education, their careers, and their rights. That is not the case for men, and it is no different in Australia—as Australian writer and commentator Bettina Arndt can attest.
Bettina started out as one of Australia’s first sex therapists before becoming a respected social commentator on gender issues. After nearly twenty years writing and talking about these issues, she wrote an international bestselling book about sex.
The Sex Diaries looked at how couples manage their sex supply, dealing with their ups and downs in sexual desire. Ninety-eight couples kept diaries for her, writing about their daily negotiations over sex. Bettina followed this up with an exciting diary project on why sex means so much to men, which led to her book, What Men Want.
Since then, alarmed by the unfair treatment of men in our society, Bettina now devotes her time to making YouTube videos and media appearances about men’s issues and the anti-male feminist agenda.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:10 How sex has faded from marriage, and how If women aren't interested, it just doesn’t happen
5:30 Sex is treated differently than all the other ways a loving couple caters to each other’s needs and desires
6:45 The culture talks endlessly about how “men aren’t doing enough” and how sex is top of most men’s list and those needs don’t get met
8:30–10:22 Bettina and Suzanne discuss “the grope” and why men make that kind of sexual approach toward their wives
10:30 Men hardly ever hear anyone talk about how the lack of sex in a marriage is unfair to men
11:25 How even if women don’t feel like having sex with their husbands, they should do it anyway. Bettina discusses how she was lambasted by feminists for saying this
13:00–14:10 Women need to be receptive. Once they relax, desire will kick in
15:25 Getting away from the stresses of everyday life is helpful to women to be able to let go and be more sexual
16:30 When women feel resentful, it's a libido killer
17:10 So many men say they’ve been to counseling and sex never even gets discussed. Usually, this is because the counselor is female and typically sides with the woman
19:00 - 21:12 Suzanne and Bettina discuss if women knew how hurtful this was to men, would they still withhold sex in the same way?
21:30 Bettina talks about what she has experienced on college campuses as a speaker. How college students have told her that she is “encouraging rape” by suggesting women just have sex with their husbands
22:30-24:30 - Bettina talks about the feminist movement and how it mobilized this group of “anti- sex” women
24:40 – 27:20 - Bettina and Suzanne discuss sexual harassment and how women misuse and flaunt their sexual power and then expect men not to react
28:10 How women are not encouraged to examine their own motivation for when they dress un-modestly
29:10- Bettina talks about how Australia and how feminism has had a huge impact on the public debate surrounding men and women
32:00 - Bettina tells her story about how she used to identify as a feminist and tells her story.
40:50 – 45:00 - Bettina talks about the anti-male nature of universities
45:50 – 52:50 Bettina discusses domestic violence
Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow
7/26/2020 • 57 minutes, 30 seconds
54. Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman: Danielle Crittenden
In her book, What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us, Canadian-American author and journalist Danielle Crittenden examines the foremost issues in women's lives—sex, marriage, motherhood, work, aging, and politics—and argues that a generation of women has been misled: taught to blame men and pursue independence at all costs.
Happiness is obtainable, Crittenden says, but only if women will free their minds from outdated feminist attitudes.
A longtime contributor to the Huffington Post, Danielle’s articles and essays have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Ladies Home Journal, among others. A former columnist for the New York Post, she has appeared, also among others, on NBC’s Today show, The O’Reilly Factor, 20/20 and Nightline. Danielle is married to David Frum, senior editor at The Atlantic and former speechwriter for George W. Bush. He and Danielle live in DC and have three children.
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:40 Suzanne and Danielle discuss how women’s magazines sell “unhappiness” to women
9:15 Danielle talks about the message in her book, What Our Mother’s Didn’t Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman
11:15 Danielle discusses the messages she grew up with and absorbed via the women’s movement and how she never thought about having kids and was focused on excelling in the workforce, etc.
15:35 Danielle discusses having her first child at 28 and what it was like for her because of her beliefs surrounding men & women and how she changed because of having a child
19:15 Until you have a child, you don’t understand why men and women end up having such different trajectories and priorities. She talks about the support of her husband, too, and why that was integral
24:15 – Danielle & Suzanne discuss how many women are unhappy because wisdom was passed on from people that they trusted is wrong
26:00 Danielle talks about how feminism has been re-invented for the next generation (Gen. Z and millennials) and how they're struggling today
29:00 Even serious-minded young women are having trouble finding serious-minded, marriageable men, even when the men are a decade older than the women. How the younger generations, men and women, are not connecting and not even having sex
32:50 Danielle talks about how the “seize the day” culture for women and how it has been taught in the culture, that women and men are no different sexually—which is a lie. How it also freed men to not take responsibility
35:00 – Most women, if they can, want to stay home with their children. Most women do not have glamorous careers.
36:15 – Danielle and Suzanne talk about how young women sleep with men before they even date
38:15 - How porn has influenced sex between men and women and how the hook-up culture is pervasive, which has made young women “afraid” of sex
42:00 – Suzanne and Danielle discuss how men are losing their way as breadwinners and the effect of that
46:50 – People today don't know how to be married
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7/19/2020 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 44 seconds
53. How to Recover from a Controlling Mother: Graham Stoney
Growing up with a controlling and/or domineering mother can cause all kinds of damage. For a girl, it can cause her to become either insecure or just as controlling in her own marriage or relationship. And for boy, it can and often does suppress his masculinity.
Graham Stoney knows this firsthand and wrote an article about it entitled "How to Recover from a Controlling Mother."
My mother was the dominant figure in my family of origin, and with a passive-aggressive father and two relatively dominant older sisters, it was a disastrous recipe for my developing masculinity.
When I was a child, my mother used a physical leash to control me; partly for my own safety, and partly for her convenience. As I got older, verbal stoushes with my father made it clear that the masculine point of view wasn't welcome in our household.
My mother would fight tooth and nail every time because to her conceding anything was a weakness. She controlled my father, and by extension the rest of the family, including me. Even now during phone conversations, my mother decides when the conversation is over. My sisters and I sometimes joke about her idiosyncrasies but it's not funny: growing up around this sort of behavior from a mother cuts deep into a man's psyche.
Join Graham Stoney and me this hour to discuss ways in which you can set boundaries with your controlling mother or recover from her lingering influence on your life. Graham's website is www.confidentman.net
IN THIS EPISODE:
4:30 – Graham talks about controlling your emotions and how people who use control are trying to regulate their own emotions
9:00 - how to heal an “attachment wound” and how connecting with others helps heal
10:15 – Suzanne and Graham discuss the spectrum of controlling people
12:15 – Graham discusses “fight or freeze” and how when we feel under attack we become compliant and how a controlling parent can overwhelm a child’s nervous system and how this is a strategy for getting what they want
15:35 – When there is conflict in a relationship, people tend to resort back to whatever strategies they used as children
16:20 – If two adults in a relationship haven’t resolved their childhood wounds, you have two wounded people who are relating to each other in that way
17:00 - A man who’s highly evolved and who’s dealt with his past will be able to deal with a strong-willed woman and be able to stand up for himself
17:35 – Women actually love men who stand up for themselves and who stand up to them, too.
19:30 – Suzanne talks about her experience with her own controlling mother and how her father was passive and how it affected her
21:18 – How women do not feel safe around a man who won’t stand up for himself and how that is often learned from seeing a man’s own father not stand up for himself against a controlling mother in childhood
22:40 - Suzanne discusses when a daughter doesn’t get what she needs from a father, she gets the femininity knocked out of her. Girls don’t feel safe and thus they go into their masculine, and they bring this into their relationships later
24:45 Women who are dominant tend to attract men who are more passive
28:00 –For a boy, mastering your emotions is pivotal to become a man
30:00 – 31:40 - Graham explains how learning to regulate your emotions happens during infancy
32:00 – How trauma affects people and why it’s important to work through trauma
36:00 – how boys and girls are affected differently by their relationships with their mother/father at different stages of growing up
44:35 – 54:00 - what people can do to recover from a controlling mother
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7/13/2020 • 59 minutes, 54 seconds
52. Suzanne and Andre Paradis take questions from listeners about their relationship problems
Suzanne and Andre Paradis answer questions from listeners about their relationship problems and concerns.
Some of the questions are as follows:
What attracts a good man to a woman?
Red Flags/how to know if he/she is marriage material
What is the best advice I can pass onto my three boys about dating and navigating the feminist culture and not compromising on their masculinity?
What to say/suggest (or NOT say/suggest) to a close friend in her early 30s who's not dating or married but wants to be but who “drinks the culture’s Kool-aid” and wants to be “independent”/thinks she doesn’t need a man?
You both have talked about how men are negatively affected by their moms when the reins aren't handed over to the dad to take the lead or how single mom households have the same issue because there is no father figure to take over. What advice would you give to those boys now that they're men in helping them not be continually treated like a child by their mothers?
If you’ve been vulnerable with someone for several years, and they haven’t.... and you feel alone and defeated in the process, and ultimately your emotional walls build back up, is it possible to make an emotional connection after that?
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7/5/2020 • 58 minutes, 25 seconds
51. SPECIAL EPISODE: The Woke Mob Is Out of Control: Heather Mac Donald
Last week Stan Wischnowski, top editor of The Philadelphia Inquirer, was forced to apologize and ultimately resign after using the headline, “Buildings Matter, Too.” He later characterized his own work as “deeply offensive.”
Over at the New York Times, editorial page editor James Bennet resigned after a staff uproar as a result of U.S. Senator Republican Tom Cotton's statement in an op-ed that military troops should be sent to restore public order in American cities when the police are overwhelmed.
Anna Wintour, editor of Vogue, apologized for the mistakes, oversights, and supposed offenses her publication has committed during her tenure. “
Tucker Carlson lost advertisers for pointing out the fact that BLM is not about black lives but about something else altogether.
And it isn’t just journalists who are marginalized as a result of their speech. The author J.K. Rowlings made what was referred to as a "controversial" statement in pointing out that women, not men, get periods. Fortunately, Rowlings didn’t apologize or take back her comments.
Join me in this special episode to discuss America’s cancel culture is New York Times bestselling author and contributing editor of City Journal Heather Mac Donald.
IN THIS EPISODE:
2:45 What's Cancel Culture?
6:45 Heather discusses her article, “The Myth of Systemic Police Racism” and how crime and suspect behavior determine most interactions with cops
8:50 How the data prove Black Lives Matter’s claim that there's an epidemic of racially motivated action between blacks and police is categorically false
10:20 How the statistics show blacks commit over half of all homicides
11:55 -12:43 How the current narrative has it backwards. Black males are 6% of the nation's population and make up about 42% of cop killings. A police officer is 18 times more likely to be killed by a black male than an unarmed black male is to be killed by a cop.
14:30 How there's an increase in cops leaving the profession due to the narrative
15:35 How the entirety of mainstream America, including all major corporations, are now onboard with the Black Lives Matter movement
18:00 In light of the current narrative, we will begin to see more cop assassinations and recruiting will be more difficult
18:35 – 22:45 Police Reform and how in Colorado, people will be able to civilly sue police officers for alleged misconduct and how this will lead to anarchy and crime will spike
22:50 Heather’s assessment of what’s to come in the next six to twelve months
25:30 There will be even more pressure on institutions to hire by race (and sex) instead of on merit and the quality of the institutions will suffer as a result
26:45 How fatherlessness has decimated the black community
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6/28/2020 • 32 minutes, 53 seconds
50. Stop Being Superwoman, and You'll Find Superman: with Andre Paradis
Ever wonder why women, once they took on the role of breadwinner, became more stressed out and, thus, less happy?
The reason may be politically inconvenient, but that doesn't make it any less true.
Women have a fraction of the amount of testosterone men do, and testosterone is in part responsible for why men are able to be single focused and get energized from it as a result.
That's not how it works for most women. They become drained when they try to focus so intently on one thing and try to screen out everything else.
Most women cannot block out the details of life. They feel compelled to address more than one thing at a time since that is how their brains work. So when they try and do things the "male" way—i.e. go to the office and focus exclusively on that for 8 or 10 hours—they become overwhelmed. They can't stop thinking about everything else they have to do.
Of course, to hear the media tell it, this predicament is men's fault. If men would just do their share women could get it all done! But that's not the way it works.
Andre Paradis of Project Equinox is back to talk with Suzanne about this massive difference between women and men and how knowing, and accepting, this difference will improve your relationship overnight. If you let it.
IN THIS EPISODE:
9:20 why women are unhappy and drained
10:30 the instinct in men is to provide and protect
11:50 why the feminist message only services a small portion of women
12:10 why masculinity is discouraged in men but encouraged in women
14:05 the natural flow between men and women and letting go of the “superwoman complex”
16:55 how women feel that less they are productive in society, like men, they are useless
17:20 why traditional roles work
19:00 why stress hurts women differently than it hurts men
21: 40 why men are more “single focused” than women
22:45 why understanding the nature of men solves so many relationship problems
27:40 why there's a price to pay when the roles are reversed
28:30 what happens when women no longer to tap into their femininity
28:50 what femininity does for men
36:20 why being overly emotional is not productive for men
38:40 when you disrupt human nature, it causes a lot of problems
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6/21/2020 • 48 minutes, 46 seconds
49. The Divorce Industry and the Myth of the Deadbeat Dad: Stephen Baskerville, Ph.D.
Children of divorce are in desperate need of a relationship with both their parents. Sadly, far too many are reduced to having a relationship with only one parent: the mother.
Citing a principle called the “best interest of the child,” family courts award sole or primary custody of most children of divorced parents to mothers, thereby reducing fathers to occasional visitation and zero authority.
The silence on this issue is deafening, and this silence comes just as much from the right as it does from the left. It even comes from churches.
Making matters worse is that divorce is no longer fault-based. Unilateral divorce is now the law of the land, and three-fourths of divorces are initiated by wives. Women don't have to allege any fault by the husband, and he has no right to oppose the divorce.
To address this monstrous social travesty, I could think of no one better than Stephen Baskerville, former Professor of Government at Patrick Henry College. Stephen is widely recognized as a leading authority on fatherhood, family policy, and sexual politics. He holds a Ph.D. from the London School of Economics and writes on political ideologies with an emphasis on religion, family policy, and sexuality. His books include The New Politics of Sex and Taken Into Custody: The War against Fathers, Marriage, and the Family.
Stephen serves on advisory boards to the Ruth Institute, the Men’s Health Network and other organizations. His website is www.stephenbaskerville.com.
IN THIS EPISODE:
5:00-8:00 How Stephen began writing on the “divorce industry,” the political dynamics involved and about no-fault divorce: why it disproportionately affects fathers.
8:00 How women are encouraged to get divorced and take the children, make false accusations against fathers etc.
10:24 How men are less likely to use children as weapons against the other spouse
10:45 The Myth of the Deadbeat Dad
14:00 What is no-fault divorce and why is it wrong, why is it a system of “chaos” and why we need to “enforce the constitution” when it comes to divorce
11:40 - 16:00 How the Bill of Rights is violated in many divorce cases and how basic constitutional rights are being violated.
17:00 How political correctness keeps ups from being able to address it and solve the problems with no-fault divorce and how both the left and right wing media both ignore it
19:00 How even Ronald Reagan admits he was deceived when he signed the first No Fault divorce legislation into action in CA. How there was also no public debate or discussion at the time it was enacted and throughout the years until now
19:45 How these laws have affected the social structure, including crime, fatherlessness in homes, etc.
20:49-22:50 What does Stephen tell and recommend for fathers as recourse for these issues?
24:35-30:30 Why the effects of the sexual revolution have led to the the West to brink of social and economic ruin (this includes sexual chaos, domestic violence, sexual harassment, etc.)
30:45 - Why feminism has not created a “utopia” for a women
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6/14/2020 • 51 minutes, 19 seconds
48. SPECIAL GUEST: Suzanne's Husband Bill
Suzanne's husband Bill makes a special appearance to discuss answers, along with Suzanne, to listeners' questions.
IN THIS EPISODE:
3:35 How Bill and Suzanne met
7:02 How long after they started dating when Bill proposed
8:00 Bill and Suzanne talk about their wedding
9:30 What are each others most annoying habits and how to cope with your partner’s bad habits
15:15 What are their favorite things about each other and how their sense of humor diffuses a lot of issues
17:05- 21:10 Who is the first to apologize after an argument, how they’ve learned to read each other and why Suzanne wouldn’t recommend both a husband and wife work from home
23:15 What does Bill think when Suzanne gets internet haters?
24:47 Bill and Suzanne discuss their parenting philosophy
30:55 How they kept the romance and sex life alive when their kids were young
35:38 How do Bill and Suzanne divide household chores and how they share the household duties ? And where problems arise in marriage regarding household chores, etc.
39:25 What do Bill and Suzanne do for fun together on date nights
41:10- 46:00 Who is responsible for managing the money and why the “his” money and “her” money philosophy is is bad for marriages & what their advice is for newly married couples concerning money.
47:55 What is the one thing that makes their marriage work?
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6/7/2020 • 50 minutes, 23 seconds
47. Reclaiming Manhood and Womanhood: Dr. Abilash Gopal and His Wife, Margot Loren
It is hardly in question that masculinity in America is under attack. In the social justice crusade to promote the purported underdogs of gender (women, trans, queer), masculinity has become the enemy.
America’s youth have been brainwashed to believe that males are predators, and females their prey. Girls are relentlessly empowered to believe they can do anything boys can, and boys are admonished to be more like girls.
Indeed, progressives are on a mission to save American women from inequality while simultaneously condemning masculinity. Men and the patriarchy have become the scapegoat for virtually every social ill, real or imagined.
In such a climate, it is essential that therapists take a stand in support of manhood and offer men a safe space where they can express themselves without fear of judgment or reproach.
It is also essential that women speak out against the relentless feminist narratives that serve to divide men and women, rather than bring them together.
My guest today is Dr. Abilash Gopal, a San Francisco psychiatrist who wrote an article about this subject for Psychology Today entitled "Reviving Romeo" with his wife, Margot Loren, who’s also w us to discuss this article as well one of her own, entitled “How Modern Feminism Is Hurting Women.”
IN THIS EPISODE:
7:00 The differences between men and women can be found easily in little kids
8:75 How Psychology Today censors voices and how political correct editors censored Abi and Margot's article based on APA Guidelines
10:05 How toxic behavior is not exclusive to one sex and how men also can be victims of bad behavior at the hands of women
12:35 How censorship has become extreme
15:15 -19 Abi sees men in his practice who are fundamentally broken by the messages of toxic masculinity and how prominent psychology press outlets are the standard bearers for how therapists treat their male patients; traditional therapy sides with the women and favors female traits, thus teaching men to become more like women
24:15 The mess of modern dating and how moving against the biological tide is destroying relationships
25:10 How modern feminism hurts women and how its arguments are based on feelings instead of facts
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5/31/2020 • 55 minutes, 21 seconds
46. What Became of Feminism: Christina Hoff Sommers
Christina Hoff Sommers is a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, where she studies the politics of gender and feminism—as well as free expression, due process, and the preservation of liberty in the academy.
Christina is perhaps best known for her 1994 book Who Stole Feminism? How Women Have Betrayed Women, which was instrumental in giving a voice to those who dared to question rigid doctrines about women and men and the arguments feminists make that cause a rift between them.
Christina's popular podcast, Femsplainers, which she co-hosts with author Danielle Crittenden, is described as a “weekly girl’s night out, where Christina and Danielle "dish on everything from #metoo and sex to, well, doing the dishes.”
Christina is like a friend who studies and does her homework before the party. She counters politically correctness with wit and charm. Her popular video blog, The Factual Feminist, has garnered more than 4 million views.
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5/24/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 7 seconds
45. On Being a Millennial, a Mother, and Jordan Peterson's Daughter: Mikhaila Peterson
It's hard enough to be a millennial these days. But does being Jordan Peterson's daughter make it easier? Or harder?
Mikhaila Peterson is perhaps best known for being Jordan Peterson’s daughter, but she wears many hats. She’s the CEO of her father’s company, Luminate Enterprises, as well as the author of the blog, Don’t Eat That (https://mikhailapeterson.com/), which highlights Mikhaila's journey into remission from juvenile arthritis, severe depression, and chronic fatigue by using an all-beef elimination diet known as the Lion Diet.
Most importantly, Mikhaila is a married mother of one daughter and lives in Toronto.
IN THIS EPISODE:
– How being Jordan Peterson’s daughter shapes her thought process, particularly as it compares to her contemporaries
– On Mikhaila’s experience with political correctness at University and how this politically correct environment caused her to change her major
– How Mikhaila’s Lion Diet helped her and how you have to think for yourself and do your own research when it comes to your health
– How mainstream media is nasty and corrupt and her experience with the media’s (incorrect) portrayal of her father
– Mikhaila’s experience being a young mother and why motherhood should be prioritized over career
– What it’s like to date as a millennial and the downsides of the birth control pill
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5/17/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 2 seconds
44. The Wounds of Divorce Last Long Past Childhood: Leila Miller
The kids will be all right if the parents split up. Right? If the parents are happy, the children will be happy.
Well, those children are now speaking, and they are not happy. They're talking about the damage their parents’ divorce caused.
These are people who, even if they've gone on to have functional lives, still carry the scars of divorce with them into their own marriages and relationships.
In Leila Miller’s book, Primal Loss, (https://www.leilamiller.net/) 70 now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions, including: What were the main effects of your parents' divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that "children are resilient" and "children are happy when their parents are happy"? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing?
The responses are difficult to read yet not without hope. Most of the contributors—women and men, young and old, single and married—have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents’ divorce until now. Despite vastly different circumstances, the similarities in their testimonies are striking and fly in the face of conventional wisdom that children of divorce will eventually be fine.
As one Amazon reviewer writes, “The stories from these adults is like a bolt of lightning in an atmosphere of divorce and separation propaganda.”
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5/11/2020 • 48 minutes, 7 seconds
43. The Feminization of Boys and Men: Rose Skeeters, MA, LPC
In January 2019, the American Psychological Association (APA) issued its first-ever guidelines for practice with men and boys. Its message was simple and clear: It claimed that traditional masculinity—such as stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, "on the whole, harmful."
Licensed professional counselor Rose Skeeters (https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/) was horrified when she heard this news. The APA used to be a respected organization based on solid research and empirical evidence. Now they have a very obvious feminist agenda.
The emasculation of men is leading to the fall of the human species, notes Skeeters. "We cannot propagate if there is no division of male and female."
A former single mother of a son, as well as a licensed counselor, Rose knows first hand what the fallout of the feminization of boys and men will mean—not only for them but for women and girls and for the future of American families. Rose and I discuss the many ways in which the lack of distinction between male and female literally ruins lives.
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5/3/2020 • 50 minutes, 55 seconds
42. How to Live a Family Focused Life: Gina Arnold
Are you a woman who knows she wants to get married and have a family more than anything else, but you’re hesitant to tell anyone because you fear the responses you’ll get from your parents, your friends, or, well, from just about anyone you tell?
Or perhaps you’re a woman who’s already mapped out a life with a career at the center, and you want nothing more than to switch gears and put family first.
Or perhaps you’re a mother at home who’s lonely because you can’t find other moms just like you.
There’s never been a more challenging time for marriage-minded women who want a simple life devoted to family, rather than a career that takes them away from the home for the majority of their waking hours.
Today on the show we’re going to talk with Gina Arnold, who grew up with all the usual trappings of feminism as it worked its way into her psyche. We’re going to talk with Gina about how she ultimately chose a different path and how other women can be inspired to listen to their gut when mapping out their futures.
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4/27/2020 • 39 minutes, 28 seconds
BONUS EPISODE: The Real "Mrs. America"
Some of you may know about the new program Mrs. America, FX’s new nine-part mini-series that began on April 15. If you click here to read about it, you’ll go down a rabbit hole. It has received loads of media attention.
Mrs. America is the story of the feminist movement’s efforts to ratify the ERA and the unexpected backlash led by Phyllis Schlafly—who, as it happens, is my mother’s sister.
Mrs. America may be peppered with historical facts, but the storyline about Phyllis is pure propaganda. It’s a revenge drama.
I’ll spend this hour discussing the real woman behind the screen.
Joy Pullmann of The Federalist (https://thefederalist.com/author/joy-pullmann/) and Suzanne Venker explore what the FX on HULU series "Mrs. America" gets right and so very wrong about Suzanne's aunt, Phyllis Schlafly.
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4/21/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 47 seconds
41. What Your Husband’s Doing When He’s Doing Nothing—and Other Important Facts about Men
If there’s one thing that’s sure to drive the average wife batshit crazy, it’s watching her husband do nothing. But is your husband really doing nothing when he’s doing nothing? Join Andre Paradis of https://www.projectequinox.net/ and Suzanne to discuss the intricate workings of the male mind. This crucial information can save your marriage, or at the very least make it much smoother sailing.
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4/20/2020 • 59 minutes, 40 seconds
40. A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Married: Douglas C. Gardner
You might think getting marriage advice from a divorce lawyer sounds odd. In fact, it makes all the sense in the world. After all, divorce lawyers are not that different from marriage counselors with respect to what they see in their offices. It’s true that divorce lawyers help couples get divorced rather than stay together, but they nevertheless have a unique window into the lives of countless marriages.
Douglas C. Gardner is the author of Amazing Intentions: Can a Divorce Attorney Save Your Marriage? Gardner has worked with clients in thousands of divorce cases and has seen first hand the patterns and problems that lead to the demise of relationships.
What has Gardner learned through his involvement in thousands of family law cases and millions of dollars in legal fees is that the reason marriages fail is from lack of communication regarding expectations, as well as the inability to see issues through one’s spouse’s view of the world.
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4/12/2020 • 52 minutes, 12 seconds
39. The Effect of Pop Culture on a Lost Generation: “Non-Woke” Millennial Kelsey Merritt
It's hard to find a millennial these days who isn't "woke," or who's "politically correct" so as not to offend anyone and who's a full-on social justice warrior.
Meet Suzanne's virtual assistant, Kelsey Merritt, who's in studio, to discuss how music and pop culture have changed over the years and ultimately produced a "lost" generation. Kelsey is a music industry veteran, small business owner and proud “non-woke'' millennial.
Kelsey jumpstarted her music career at 16 years old as an artist for Radio Disney. She has shared the stage with a number of notable artists such as Brett Michaels of Poison, The Jonas Brothers, Vanilla Ice and Katy Perry.
Her music projects and works have been featured in The New York Times, Alternative Press Magazine, The Sun Sentinel, Substream Magazine, MTV and MTV2.
After taking a much needed break from the pressures of the music industry, Kelsey founded two successful businesses: an entertainment company and a social media and digital marketing company, Taking Care of Business https://takingcareofbusinessmarketing.com/ . She continues to play music and manage her current cover band, The Silent Shout https://www.thesilentshoutmusic.com/ , in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.
Aside from her professional pursuits, Kelsey is a conservative millennial and political junkie who loves to cook, read, drink wine and travel. Watch Kelsey in action below!
https://youtu.be/bP8laNVr8t0
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4/5/2020 • 41 minutes, 26 seconds
38. How to Love and Lead Your Wife
Dear Men,
Do you wish your wife would stop nagging and have more trust and faith in you? Do you wish she would smile more and complain less? Look at you the way she did when you were dating?
You have the power to make it happen.
Women respond to men who are fully grounded in their masculine core. When you master this skill, you’ll find the wife you remember from all those years ago is back. There will be far less bickering and much more sex. Life at home will become a sanctuary instead of a war zone.
Aren’t convinced? Join Suzanne and GS Youngblood, https://www.gsyoungblood.com/ author of The Masculine in Relationship, to learn how to love and lead your wife so that she naturally softens and becomes easy to love. And isn’t that what you want?
10:58 Qualities of men who aren't living in their masculine core
14:00 You can’t address an emotional expression with information
14:40 When a man doesn’t OWN something, it’s frustrating for women
17:28 How to respond vs. react to your woman’s actions and outbursts
22:30 When men react with anger, women feel unmoored. Anger severs connections.
35:00 What a man who lives in his masculine core looks like:
41:55 When you ground yourself and live in your masculine core, something amazing happens: the playful, sexual women you knew before (when you were dating) emerges
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3/29/2020 • 47 minutes, 43 seconds
37. If You Want a Better Relationship, Look in the Mirror - Doris Wild Helmering, LCSW, BCD
Have you ever been to a counselor who made your life worse instead of better? It happens all the time. Today, people really need to dig to find a therapist who doesn’t take sides (often with the woman), who doesn’t espouse politically correct gobbledygook, and who tells it like it is, not as he or she thinks it should be.
That’s Doris Wild Helmering. Doris is an international author, media personality, business consultant and seminar leader. She has written eight self-help books, two children’s books, numerous booklets, and a weekly syndicated newspaper column for 24-years.
She appeared on Oprah three times, had her own segment on television, her own radio show, consulted for a number of fortune five-hundred companies, and has logged over 51,000 hours doing individual, marital, group and family therapy.
Doris believes most problems are solvable—all it takes is getting the right information and using it to change one’s behavior. She’s here to talk with us today about how to get control of your anger, why criticism is so destructive, what to look for in Mr. and Mrs. Right, and more.
Doris’s website is https://doriswildhelmering.com/
Most people come into therapy and want the OTHER person to change
The key to improving in relationships and life is to examine and ourselves what WE could have done better
People often place blame on others to protect themselves
You cannot make someone else change, you can change yourself, which will prompt a different response from the person you are trying to change
When choosing a mate, if he or she has been married before, what was the cause of the breakup? Do they find any culpability on their part? Do you like their friends? How do they handle money?
Lead with your brain instead of with your feelings (especially when choosing a partner)
If you want a better marriage, step back, and think “What do I do in this relationship that causes problems?” Pick three things and start working on them immediately.
If you have an anger problem, it can be changed. Use a mantra, such as: “I choose not to be angry. I choose to be in control.”
Divorce is usually only temporarily freeing
It is a parent’s duty to talk about values, expectations, sex, money, relationships, etc.
BIG TAKEAWAY:
If you want a better relationship with your child, friend, husband, wife: Ask yourself what you can do to make it better and your relationships will change!
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3/23/2020 • 48 minutes, 37 seconds
36. How to Deconstruct an Entire Belief System
When I was young and would say something to my mother about not being able to do what the other kids are doing, or just point out the differences between them and me, she would say to me, “Who wants to be like everyone else? How boring!”
It must have stuck with me because I’ve spent a lifetime thinking and behaving differently from most people I know. Or maybe it’s just my personality. Either which way, as difficult as can be to go against the grain, particularly when we’re young, for me it has paid off spectacularly.
This is especially true when you live in a culture that lies. If we happened to live in an era in which the culture fostered truths that emboldened individuals and families to be strong, life would be easier.
But we don’t. That means most people will need to deconstruct an entire belief system in order to create lives that work.
Join Andre Paradis of https://www.projectequinox.net/ and me as we empower you to live according to what you want, rather than the life others want you to want. It’s entirely possible with the right encouragement.
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3/15/2020 • 42 minutes, 49 seconds
35. What Sex Looks Like Once the Kids Come Along
So I posted a meme recently that said, “Remember the sex you had before the babies came?” and received over 100 comments that run the gamut. Here are just a few:
“My general observation is that sex after babies is less. A lot less. For women it becomes more of a ‘have to do’ than an ‘I get to do.'”
“I have a 7 1/2 year old daughter who is amazing at being birth control. Lol. Won’t sleep without her mother.”
“The same after babies if you know how to manage your kids. Make ’em go to bed early and you can have 2 hours of fun every night.”
“Teenagers and all our bedrooms are too close together. We are looking for another house!”
“Yes, but the the one after they go away for college is SO MUCH BETTER!”
And my personal fav…”Yes! 9 times in one night. It was glorious. 3 kids later and we joke about having sex 2012 style. Still do it frequently but wow is it different. When you have to hurry up because a baby is crying, etc. I get why so many women lose interest after kids.”
Join Andre Pardis of https://www.projectequinox.net/ and me to discuss sex after the kids come along and what parents can do to keep their sex life strong in each stage of parenthood.
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3/9/2020 • 57 minutes, 37 seconds
34. The Ever Elusive Saint with Balls
Men today get mixed signals about what women want. The culture tells them masculinity is bad, but they can see for themselves that women respond to men who are manly.
But what does it mean to be “manly” in 2020? Andre Paradis (https://www.projectequinox.net/) and I will explain what women respond best to and why—and will help men navigate the muddy waters.
Once a man understands a woman’s biological desire, he can comfortably ignore the culture and enjoy the power that comes from being both kind and masculine.
We call that a saint with balls.
Topics Covered:
How can a man be masculine and learn how to say “No” while still being a kind person
“Man Child” Syndrome is the crisis of our time
For a man to conquer himself, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable
Polarity makes relationships work
How to become a “Saint with Balls”:
Find something in the world that you can step in and conquer that will give you confidence (martial arts is a great example)
Anything that makes you uncomfortable, go and do it
How to live in your masculine core: respond rather than react to women, provide structure & create safety
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3/1/2020 • 52 minutes, 50 seconds
33. When She Earns More: Suzanne, with Andre Paradis
It is well documented that when wives earns more, marriages suffer. In fact, according to one new study, married women who reach the corporate pinnacle are twice as likely to be divorced three years after their promotion to CEO as compared to their male counterparts.
Andre and I delve into why this is the case and offer solutions for what high earning women can do to calibrate the role reversal.
That being said, there’s almost always a price to pay for reversing the natural roles of hunter/gatherer—even in 2020.
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2/24/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 21 seconds
32. The Rational Male: Rollo Tomassi
Suzanne talks with Rollo Tomassi, author of The Rational Male.
Rollo is also the author of the Rational Male blog, which is now in its 9th year. He has a one-year old YouTube channel with 34K subscribers and growing and was one of the principle creators of the Red Man Group.
Rollo has been married to his wife for 23 years and has a 21-year-old daughter in college. He lives in Reno, Nevada with anywhere between 2 to 5 greyhounds depending on how many he’s fostering at the time
Rollo’s website is www.therationalmale.com
IN THIS EPISODE:
Feminism has conditioned males to become more feminine, more beta
We live in a global, sexual marketplace which has affected how men and women mate
For women, when looking for a long-term mate, being “alpha” is more about owning your masculinity than about how much money you have, your looks, social status, etc.
The Soulmate Myth: There’s no such thing as the One. The soul mate mentality is not a good way to plan your life
Hypergamy is how women select their mates (mating strategy)
Women’s and men’s sexual market value timeline is not the same (a woman’s SVM tops out around 23. Around 27-30, the realization sinks in that they must trade in their party years and find a mate)
Women tend to find men that are 3-5 years older than they are; men tend to find women between the ages of 22-23 are most attractive
We’re still clinging to equality, or the “clean slate” theory that men and women are the same
Men and women are better together than they are apart
It is impossible for a woman to be as sexual as a man, based on biological factors.
Men’s sexual strategy is unlimited access to unlimited sexuality.
Women have reproductive costs that men don’t have
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2/16/2020 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 48 seconds
31. 4 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage
Join Suzanne and Andre Paradis of Project Equinox https://www.projectequinox.net/ to discuss what the hell has happened to women and men and how they can get back on track by understanding and accepting male and female nature. Suzanne also answers reader emails.
– Your mindset toward marriage determines the outcome
– When you have children, it’s not about you anymore
– In most cases, divorce is a disaster for kids
– A new marriage or relationship won’t solve your problems; you take the same problems with you wherever you go
– Drop your high expectations
– When you get married, there’s no such thing as “his” money and “her” money
– Millennials have an independence mindset, not a partnership mindset
– The single best way to divorce-proof your marriage
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2/9/2020 • 51 minutes, 6 seconds
30. What Women Need to Know About the Mating Dance
Join Suzanne and Andre Paradis of Project Equinox (https://www.projectequinox.net/) to discuss what the hell has happened to women and men and how they can get back on track by understanding and accepting male and female nature. Suzanne also answers reader emails.
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2/2/2020 • 55 minutes, 17 seconds
29. "Woke” Men Who’ve Fallen for Feminism
Join Suzanne and Andre Paradis of Project Equinox to discuss what the hell has happened to women and men and how they can get back on track by understanding and accepting male and female nature. Suzanne also answers reader emails.
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1/26/2020 • 44 minutes, 27 seconds
28. Yes, You Can and You Should Raise Your Sons and Daughters Differently
Join Suzanne and Andre Paradis of Project Equinox to discuss what the hell has happened to women and men and how they can get back on track by understanding and accepting male and female nature. Suzanne also answers reader emails.
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1/19/2020 • 44 minutes
27. The Emasculation of Men
Join Suzanne and Andre Paradis of Project Equinox to discuss what the hell has happened to women and men and how they can get back on track by understanding and accepting male and female nature. Suzanne also answers reader emails.
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1/12/2020 • 52 minutes, 54 seconds
26. Suzanne on Tucker Carlson Tonight: Are Women Happier Today As a Result of Feminism?
Listen to Suzanne talk to Tucker Carlson about her article, “ 4 Feminist Lies That Are Making Women Miserable.” (Dec. 5, 2019)
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12/29/2019 • 4 minutes, 14 seconds
25. The Art of Intimacy: Rabbi Manis Friedman
We all crave intimacy. It’s essential to our emotional and spiritual health, and without it we don’t feel whole. Yet today our culture faces an intimacy crisis. Many of us, even when we’re in a committed relationship, still feel painfully alone.
For more than four decades, world-renowned author, counselor, and teacher Manis Friedman has empowered couples to successfully navigate their own intimacy issues and replace loneliness and unfulfilled expectations with a deeply soulful and satisfying relationship.
In The Joy of Intimacy, Rabbi Friedman shares the deeper truths at the heart of our longing for intimacy, along with practical wisdom from Jewish tradition insights anyone can use to recapture passion, save their relationship, and tap into the essence of the true intimate experience.
Rabbi Manis Friedman is an author, social philosopher and public speaker. He is also the dean of the Bais Chana Institute of Jewish Studies and author of Doesn’t Anyone Blush Anymore? , which was published in 1990 and is currently in its fourth printing. He is featured in the documentary films: The Lost Key (2014), The Jewish Journey: America (2015), and “Patterns of Evidences” (2017).
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12/22/2019 • 47 minutes, 35 seconds
24. How to Own Your Masculine Core: GS Youngblood
The dynamic itself isn’t new, but the number of couples who are trying—and failing—to master this futile dynamic is off the charts, thanks to decades of propaganda that groomed women to be more and more like men.
Such women need a man who consistently follows through on his word, who has purpose in his life, who remains grounded in the face of her intense emotion, who makes her feel safe, and who provides leadership in the relationship.
When it doesn’t happen, the relationship starts to feel flat, contentious, or even toxic. Your wife or girlfriend will seem to nag and criticize more and have less interest in sex. When she gets angry, he’ll label it as “crazy” and blame her.
In truth, she’s just expressing the pain of your not stepping up.
GS Youngblood ( gsyoungblood.com) is a men’s coach, former Silicon Valley executive, founder of a tech company that he eventually sold, and the author of two books, including the recently published The Masculine in Relationship. His teachings are based on 12 years as a student and creator in the realm of the masculine-feminine dynamic.
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12/15/2019 • 48 minutes, 47 seconds
23. The Art of Loving a Man: Alison Armstrong
“Women have been acculturated to believe they should be their own heroes. Women’s television delivers this message over and over again with movies in which, at most, one good man might provide some small assistance as the heroine rescues herself.”
Those are the words of “Claudia,” the wise grandmother who tutors her granddaughter Kimberlee in the art of loving a man in The Queen’s Code.
The Queen’s Code is a fictionalized version of the days when author Alison Armstrong was what she calls a “frog farmer,” or a woman who brings out the worst in men by turning her prince into a frog. It offers a LIFE-CHANGING view of men that will turn your marriage or relationship around overnight. Go buy The Queen’s Code right now!
Alison Armstrong is a best-selling author, sought after speaker and a master thought leader. She’s the founder of PAX Programs, a mission driven company passionate about transforming the way men and women relate to themselves and each other and the ultimate source for understanding men and women. Her website is www.understandmen.com.
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12/8/2019 • 55 minutes, 18 seconds
22. The Inside Scoop on Our Universities’ Feminist/Anti-Male Bias: Janice Fiamengo
There’s a well-known secret among those in academia that left-wing groupthink rules. This is especially true when it comes to gender. Fortunately, Jordan Peterson’s rise to fame brought this truth to mainstream America. Most Americans are now well aware that our universities are bastions of postmodern feminist dogma.
This outrageous anti-male/pro-female bias in academia has squelched any honest discussion about matters such as American history, sexual violence, false allegations, male privilege and so-called female oppression.
Janice Fiamengo, professor of English at the University of Ottowa, is intimately familiar with this phenomenon, from some professors’ view that women should speak first in all university discussions, to anti-male shaming campaigns, to so-called consent courses where men are taught not to rape women, to op-eds by feminist professors with titles like “Why Can’t We Hate Men?”
Janice has lived inside this world for many years and will share with us the inner workings of the typical university in North America today. She is a self-described “contrarian, pro-liberty, anti-feminist, defender of men’s rights, free speech, the principles of western culture, and the right to dissent.”
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12/1/2019 • 45 minutes, 47 seconds
21. Suzanne Venker Unfiltered
Once a month, Suzanne takes a break from having a guest on her program and instead talks to her listeners directly, alongside Andre Paradis of Project Equinox, about men and women and the issues of the day. She will also answer reader emails.
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11/25/2019 • 51 minutes, 11 seconds
20. The Future Is Female AND Male: Lisa Britton
Do you believe the future is female? Or do you believe the future is both female and male?
Seems like an obvious answer, but in a culture where ideology trumps reason and common sense, it isn’t. Americans today live w a constant drumbeat of narratives that promote women over men, and the most impressionable us—namely, children—are being raised to think women are somehow superior to men and that men are flawed by nature.
My guest today knows that if we only root for one sex to win, both sexes lose. Lisa Britton is a writer, activist and entrepreneur who believes all children, boys included, should be empowered to live their best lives. She has taken her mission all the way to Washington, DC, where she has met with lawmakers, encouraging them to focus on real issues affecting society and helping them work toward solutions.
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11/18/2019 • 50 minutes, 8 seconds
19. What the Hell Happened to Women and Men?: Andre Paradis
Are men and women better off today than they were before the sexual revolution? Do you ever wish male and female roles were more defined? What is it about men and women that got lost in the struggle for so-called equality? Andre Paradis of Project Equinox is back with Suzanne to talk about these questions and others.
Andre is a certified life coach and business owner who teaches singles and couples how to create and maintain successful relationships. He developed Project Equinox to alleviate the misunderstanding and pain between men and women by teaching the concept of gender intelligence. When men can understand the perspective of a woman and women can understand the perspective of a man, we can communicate with the understanding and respect that we deserve.
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11/10/2019 • 40 minutes, 30 seconds
18. Dennis Prager and Suzanne Live on The Dennis Prager Show 10.17.2019
Hear Dennis and Suzanne talk about Suzanne's new book, Women Who Win at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts.
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10/29/2019 • 12 minutes, 33 seconds
17. Why Trying to Be Happy Will Make You Unhappy: Emily Esfahani Smith
Is there more to life than being happy? What gives your life purpose? Do you ever think about your legacy?
These are just some of the questions Emily Esfahani Smith asks in her book, The Power of Meaning. Our culture is obsessed with happiness, but what if there’s a more fulfilling path? Happiness comes and goes but having meaning in life—serving something beyond yourself and developing the best within you—gives you something to hold onto.
Emily is a writer, editor, and speaker in Washington DC. Her work draws on psychology, philosophy, and literature to write about the human experience—why we are the way we are and how we can find grace and meaning in a world that is full of suffering.
Emily is also an international speaker who has delivered dozens of keynote addresses and workshops around the country and world. In 2017, Smith delivered a talk called “ There’s More to Life Than Being Happy” on the main stage of TED, which was based on her book. It has been viewed over 8 million times.
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10/28/2019 • 28 minutes, 22 seconds
16. Let Men Be Men!: Denise McAllister
American men take a lot of heat these days for, well, for being men. “Misogyny,” “male privilege,” and “the Patriarchy” are buzzwords that shut men down, so much so that many men have given up entirely. The assumption is that men have been privileged for too long and therefore must be silenced so women can speak. The very essence of masculinity has been targeted, called into question and labeled as noxious to an enlightened society.
But no one ever asks men what they think of it all. Men have a lot to say to women about sex, equality in the workplace, raising boys, and the lie of “toxic masculinity.” Unfortunately, they are silenced by the culture.
This “war on men” has disrupted the male-female relationship. Still, anger, separation, and giving up are not the directions we need to go. Healing relationships and learning to respect the designed purposes of masculinity and femininity are the only answers. For that to happen, America needs to hear some hard truths.
My next guest has authored a book that serves as a wake-up call for women to understand and appreciate the men in their lives, to value masculinity and to heal relationships damaged by the culture.
Denise McAllister is a cultural and political commentator and author of the forthcoming book, What Men Want to Say to Women (But Can’t). We’ll talk with Denise about the lies our culture sells, and she’ll offer insights into how to rebuild broken relationships in the workplace, at home, and in the bedroom.
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10/21/2019 • 34 minutes, 10 seconds
15. What Men Want—What Women Want: John M. Townsend, Ph.D.
When the elites talk about men and women today, you would think the sexes are interchangeable. In the 21st century, equality has come to mean sameness.
There’s only one problem.
It isn’t true.
As human beings, we’ve inherited certain predispositions from our evolutionary past. Anyone who argues that we’re born with no predispositions whatsoever, and that men and women would act exactly the same if society didn’t teach them to act differently, is ignoring a mountain of evidence from the major scientific disciplines.
The idea that sex differences are socially constructed may be the politically correct view, but it is based on ideology and wishful thinking rather than on empirical evidence. Biological and cultural studies show–very clearly—that biology matters.
We will talk with John M. Townsend, Ph.D., an expert on the evolutionary roots of sex differences, about the vast differences between women and men and why understanding and accepting these differences is the key to a lasting relationship.
John M. Townsend, Ph.D., is Professor of Anthropology at Syracuse University. He has authored countless articles, as well as the book What Women Want—What Men Want (Oxford University Press), and has appeared on many national television and radio talk shows.
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10/14/2019 • 41 minutes, 50 seconds
14. How to Be the Strong Man Women Want: Elliott Katz
After the end of his marriage, Elliott Katz sought to learn what it means to be a man in a relationship. He found books on relationships that said little to help him and ultimately found powerful timeless insights in the lessons fathers and other older male role models taught younger men. Eventually, people started seeking Katz advice and would say, “Why didn’t someone tell me this before?”
Moving beyond the trendy ideas about a man’s role that don’t seem to work, Katz shares insights on being a man that have withstood the test of time. Interestingly, these insights are the traits that he heard many women complain are lacking in men today – showing leadership, making decisions and taking responsibility.
Elliott Katz is the author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants. He teaches the principles in this book to both men and women, and speaks at conferences as well.
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10/5/2019 • 33 minutes, 22 seconds
13. Ladies, Don’t Forget to Get Married!: Susan Patton
Susan Patton, aka “The Princeton Mom,” outraged feminists everywhere in 2013 when she wrote an open letter to the Daily Princetonian telling female students to find a husband on campus before they graduate.
The post went viral, with more than 100 million hits, and eventually became the subject of Patton’s book, Marry By Choice, Not By Chance. In it, Patton gives tons of advice about everything from how to strike while the greatest number of single young men is available to you; how to attract a man who is your intellectual and emotional equal; how to date to find a mate; and how to find satisfaction in your roles as a wife and mother. S
Patton is a native New Yorker and one of the first women to graduate from Princeton University. She’s also a human resources consultant, an executive coach in New York City.
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9/28/2019 • 46 minutes, 28 seconds
12. Kids’ Needs Come Before Adult Desires: Katy Faust
Do you believe adults should conform to the needs of children or children should conform to the desires of adults?
Never before in our nation’s history has this question been more acute. We live in a culture that frames adults as victims in need of societal validation when in reality it is kids who pay the price for being expected to conform to the desires of adults.
For instance, it used to be understood that divorce was harmful to children; but in our efforts to be empathetic and accepting we no longer accept this harsh reality as true—even though it is. Not only do we dismiss the significance of the married mom and dad family, we don’t believe children need a mom and a dad at all. All a child needs, we’re told, is “love.”
That’s bunk, says Katy Faust, founder and director of Them Before Us, an organization committed to putting the rights of children ahead of adult desires.
We’ll talk with Katy about marriage, divorce, donor conception and same-sex parenting, a subject with which Katy is intimately familiar. She will share her story in this episode and explain her mission to create a society, via both culture and public policy, where children have a right to be loved and known by both of their biological parents.
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9/21/2019 • 40 minutes, 24 seconds
11. If You Want Him to ‘Be a Man,’ Learn How to Be a Woman : Andre Paradis
What the culture says works in love and relationships flies in the face of science, common sense and experience. In our misguided attempt to “equalize” sexes, we threw out what makes men men and what makes women women: masculinity and femininity.
This message was particularly aimed at women, who’ve been encouraged since birth to prove their value to men and society by, in effect, becoming men.
This may have helped women get ahead at the office, but it ruined their love lives. Too many American women are operating in their “masculine” 100% of the time and inadvertently pushing men away.
Andre Paradis is a certified life coach, entrepreneur, business owner and artist who teaches singles and couples how to create and maintain successful relationships. He will dismantle the madness and help men and women learn the importance of complementary energy dynamics in marriage and relationships, while paying special attention to how men think.
Andre is the founder of ProjectEquinox. He has been happily married for over 20 years to his wife Nancy, who is also a former professional dancer and current dance instructor. They live in the San Fernando Valley with their two children.
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9/14/2019 • 40 minutes, 38 seconds
10. How Men Can Vet Women: Shawn T. Smith, PsyD.
For men in America today, love is a high-stakes gamble. The right woman can be the best part of a man’s life, and the wrong one can lead to personal and financial ruin. In today’s climate, no man should venture into romance without a reliable risk-management strategy.
We’ll talk with clinical psychologist Shawn T. Smith about how men can allow the right women into their lives and keep the wrong ones at a safe distance.
Shawn T. Smith, PsyD. is a clinical psychologist in Denver, Colorado and the author of five psychology books.
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9/7/2019 • 41 minutes, 35 seconds
9. Where Have All the Good Men Gone?: Helen Smith, Ph.D.
American men are going on strike. But they aren’t dropping out because they’re stuck in arrested development, notes Helen Smith in her book Men on Strike. They’re acting rationally in response to the lack of incentives society offers them to be responsible fathers, husbands and providers.
In addition, men are going on strike, either consciously or unconsciously, because they do not want to be injured by the myriad of laws, attitudes and hostility against them for the crime of happening to be male in the twenty-first century.
Helen Smith, Ph.D. is an author and a psychologist specializing in forensic issues and men’s issues in Knoxville, Tennessee. She holds a PhD from the University of Tennessee and master’s degrees from The New School for Social Research and the City University of New York.
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8/31/2019 • 47 minutes, 47 seconds
8. The Lies You’ve Been Fed: Heather Mac Donald
Two of the greatest travesties in American culture may appear unrelated, but they’re not. They are (1) the breakdown of the family and subsequent rise in father-absent homes (2) the complete eradication of a liberal education in our nation’s universities in favor of a monopoly on left-wing groupthink.
From the time they step foot on college campuses, and often even before, young people are taught in no uncertain terms that oppression and victimhood are embedded in the American way of life. This message is especially geared toward women, who are sold a false notion of equality under the guise that men and women are the same, which has wreaked havoc on sex and relationships.
Heather Mac Donald is the Thomas W. Smith Fellow at the Manhattan Institute, a contributing editor of City Journal, and a New York Times bestselling author. Her most recent book is The Diversity Delusion: How Race and Gender Pandering Corrupt the University and Undermine Our Culture. Heather Mac Donald explains that sexual liberation is having a “nervous breakdown” on college campuses as well as in the culture.
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8/24/2019 • 45 minutes, 53 seconds
7. Why the Feminist Life Script Makes Most Women Miserable: Joy Pullmann
Our culture is so saturated in feminist ideology that even conservatives think inside its wheel ruts. This wouldn’t be a problem except that feminism is antithetical to human flourishing because it has a false view of human nature. The stark difference bw men and women when it comes to mate selection and family planning is just one example. Women have the most marital bargaining power in their 20s.
The smartest female strategy, then, is to lock in a husband before women have to compete against younger, more fertile women. This is the exact opposite of what our society tells women to do. It tells women to do the same thing men do. But women are not men. Our bodies are different, our fertility is different, and our priorities are different.
Joy Pullmann, author and executive editor at The Federalist, as wel as the mother of five children, explains why the feminist life script that encourages women to postpone marriage and motherhood indefinitely is not only bad for women but not what most women want. She also tells her own story about how she got “lucky” with an unintended and unplanned pregnancy.
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8/17/2019 • 43 minutes, 53 seconds
6. The Harmful Effects of Maternal Absence: Erica Komisar, LCSW
When was the last time you heard the media support or even acknowledge the fact that mothers are critically important to children in the early years? This is something that used to be understood by most Americans but has been ignored for decades. Fortunately, in recent years brain research has proven what people in the past instinctively knew to be true: that women bring something unique to the table when it comes to caring for children.
My guest today is Erica Komisar, a Manhattan psychoanalyst and a fierce advocate for the importance of mothers in the early years of a child's life. Erica has been in private practice for 25 years and is best known in the media for her recent book, Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First 3 Years Matters.
Based on more than two decades of clinical work and breakthrough neurobiological research on caregiving, attachments, and brain development, Erica’s book challenges myths regarding infant resiliency, as well as the idea that parents can both work full-time and year-round and still meet their babies’ needs.
We'll also talk with Erica about the pushback she’s gotten in the media for writing this bold and important book.
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8/10/2019 • 43 minutes, 43 seconds
5. Don't Let Hollywood Corrupt Your Kids: Tina Marie Griffin
For over two decades, former actress and pop culture expert Tina Griffin has built a reputation as a leading media expert. She’s traveled globally to reveal how pop culture and media glamorizes harmful behaviors without showing the consequences and how these messages are eroding the foundational development of today’s youth.
In this hour, we will talk with Tina about how parents can offset the hugely negative influence of pop culture, as well as about Tina's experience working in Hollywood.
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8/4/2019 • 42 minutes, 46 seconds
4. Where Feminism Went Wrong: Mona Charen
For years Americans have been taught to believe that feminism is about equal rights for women. But in fact that seemingly benign concept is not at all what feminism is about.
My guest today explains the vast difference bw what’s known as first-wave feminism and mid-20th century feminism, which is still very much alive today. She will explain how this destructive ideology has ultimately destroyed the happiness of women, men and families.
Mona Charen is a syndicated columnist who’s been writing an award-winning conservative opinion column for 30 years. In 1984, Mona joined the White House staff, serving first as Nancy Reagan’s speechwriter and later as Associate Director of the Office of Public Liaison. She spent six years as a regular commentator on CNN’s Capital Gang and has served as a judge of the Pulitzer Prizes.
Mona is the author of three books: Useful Idiots and Do-Gooders, both of which are New York Times bestsellers, and Sex Matters: How Modern Feminism Lost Touch with Science, Love and Common Sense.
It is this third book that Mona and I are going to talk about today. We’ll discuss where feminism and the sexual revolution went wrong, as well as the price we’ve paid for denying the differences between the sexes—such as family breakdown, declining female happiness, and aimlessness among men.
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7/27/2019 • 42 minutes, 29 seconds
3. Dare to Be a Countercultural Parent: Gia Valenti of Learn with Moxie
Gia Valenti is the Founder of Learn with Moxie, a curriculum that offers programs to get kids out of our screen-addicted world and back to the practice of simply TALKING. As a speech pathologist, 25-year professional thespian, and sales executive, Gia knows the importance of strong communication skills. As a mother, she has seen firsthand the negative influence technology and social media can have on the real-life connections our children are making and is committed to combating the effects technology has on our youth.
One of the things that makes Gia unique is that she approaches parenting the way she does life: fiercely independently. "Many people who make big waves and stir it up aren’t always agreed with. Stick to your guns, go with your gut, and fight the fight." That's the conversation we'll have with Gia. In addition, you'll learn how to raise your kids in a tech-limited household.
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7/21/2019 • 43 minutes, 17 seconds
2. Dr. Laura Schlessinger, aka "Dr. Laura"
There are very few high-profile people who have the courage, the chutzpah and the moral fortitude to encourage people to “do the right thing.” There are very few high-profile people in who will say, without backing down later, what needs to said about men and women, sex and love, children and families. Things that are profoundly true but considered blasphemous to admit.
That’s where Dr. Laura comes in. Dr. Laura Schlessinger is the author of 13 New York Times bestsellers and is one of the most popular talk show hosts in radio history. She offers no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility. In 2018 Dr. Laura was named to the National Radio Hall of Fame. We'll talk with Dr. Laura about her 40-year career helping marriages and families stay on track.
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7/9/2019 • 42 minutes, 45 seconds
1. TRAILER: Suzanne Venker Show - SuzanneVenker.com/Podcast
Get ready for The Suzanne Venker Show! TIRED OF THE LIES AND THE SPIN perpetuated in the media, in our universities and in Hollywood? Does today's relentless gender propaganda make you feel as if you’re going mad? If so, get ready to hear hard-hitting truths about men, women, sex, dating, marriage and family that will make you cry out “Yes! Finally someone tells the truth!” Find out more at https://www.suzannevenker.com/podcast/
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