Lately, there’s been something stirring in my soul.   I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but I feel like it’s going to be BIG – like something new is coming, and I need to go inward and listen for what it is.    Have you ever felt this way? When this happens, I believe it’s our soul tugging at us, trying to tell us something about our mission and purpose on the planet.   And I have made it my intention to always listen when the soul calls.   It’s something I like to call “soul alignment” — a practice of going within and listening to the soul to get clarity on who we are and our illuminated path.   In this episode, I’m teaching you how to tune into the voice of your soul (the part of you that is seated squarely in the Adult Chair), why this is so important and how to clear the blocks that stand between us and our souls.   The five simple practices I share in today’s podcast will help you hear your soul’s whispers and nudges, know and feel the next steps on your path and take aligned action — not from the Adolescent Chair but from the Adult Chair.   Listen to discover: The power of “soul alignment” The importance of “deep listening” How the ego gets in the way of listening 5 steps to listen to your soul How to unlock greater passion, purpose and peace The ego is rooted in fear, lives in the past and future and often screams at us in a loud voice. The soul lives in the present moment and speaks to us in a whisper, which is why we have to get still to hear it.    This episode will help you get out of your mind and into your heart, go inward and listen deeply to find your true purpose and guidance from within.   “When we align with our soul, we are guided.” - Michelle Chalfant   "When you're aligned with your soul, even the things that feel – to the ego – bad, what we find is that these things are the most beautiful gifts that we could have ever received." - Michelle Chalfant   “What your soul has in store for you is unlike anyone else on the entire planet.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Meditation is simply a practice that brings you into the present moment.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You’re going to feel nudges or feel pulled or moved to do things. That’s your soul. Pay attention.” - Michelle Chalfant    “Your soul’s not going to talk to you from your head. Your soul’s going to talk to you through your heart.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Ego lives in past and future only. Soul lives in present moment only.” - Michelle Chalfant    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

What if the secret to better sleep, less inflammation and reduced pain was as simple as walking barefoot in the grass?   Both the earth and our bodies have an electrical charge, and “grounding” (or “earthing”) refers to the practice of connecting our bodies to the earth – keeping the body’s charge at an optimal balance and unlocking tremendous health benefits.   If you think this sounds like something made up by a crunchy tree hugger, think again: the father of grounding, Clint Ober, is actually a cable guy.   Clint had a strong connection with nature from growing up on a ranch out West and great knowledge about how electrical currents work from his career in the cable industry.    One day, he saw a group of tourists all wearing thick rubber-soled shoes (a non-conductive material), and it hit him:   Could our modern lifestyle be keeping us from grounding into the earth?   This has led to a new frontier of health research, with very promising findings about the impact of grounding on inflammation, stress, autoimmune disease and more. It’s the real deal!    I had the chance to talk to the man himself, Clint Ober, about how grounding works in the body, why our society is so ungrounded, the many, many health benefits of grounding and how anyone can start grounding – for FREE and today.   Listen to discover: What earthing and grounding is Why our bodies need to be connected to the earth's electrical charge How grounding works in our immune system The positive effect grounding can have on pain and chronic disease  How you can start grounding today Grounding is so simple – it literally just requires going outside with bare feet (or conductive shoes).   And unlike so many health hacks or miracle cures on the market, this isn’t something to be added to your health…instead, it’s a return.    A return to nature, our design and the natural harmony that occurs when we’re connected to our bodies and the earth.    "The earth is basically electrical." - Clint Ober   "We can heal these illnesses we're walking around with by grounding." - Michelle Chalfant    "We've totally insulated ourselves from the earth when we're wearing shoes." - Clint Ober    "You can't have inflammation in a grounded object." - Clint Ober   "As soon as you get grounded, then you have the earth's energy all around your body, and it pushes away all of this environmental stuff." - Clint Ober   "If you want to take 10 years off your [age], just go outdoors and stick your bare feet on the grass." - Clint Ober   "The body is always striving to heal itself. Always. We are in the way." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Clint Ober Earthing and Grounding Products https://www.earthing.com/   Earthing Studies https://earthinginstitute.net/    Earthing Movie https://www.earthingmovie.com/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Have you ever gotten a “gut feeling” that something was going to happen…and then it did? Or sensed that someone wasn’t trustworthy or that you shouldn’t move forward with a decision?    This is your intuition at work!   Intuition is something we all possess, and something we’ve all undeniably experienced, but how it works remains largely a mystery. Is it something spiritual? Psychological? Biological?    Laura Day grew up feeling like her brain was “different” in some way. She knew she had ADD and a number of head injuries, but she didn’t know she had an uncanny intuition until one day, she saw a television program about ESP research. She immediately related to it, picked up the phone, called the researchers and said, “I can do that.” For years, she participated in research studies about intuition and how it works.   Since then, Laura has built a high-profile career using her intuition for large companies and organizations and teaching others how to develop and tap into their innate intuition. A math, science and data nerd, Laura had no preconceived notions about intuition, which has given her a practical, grounded approach to learning and teaching about this ability.   In this episode, Laura shares her insights into what intuition actually is, how to tell the difference between intuition and fear, how to enhance your intuition and why intuition alone isn’t enough – we must direct it towards action.    If you’ve ever been curious about how those gut feelings and seemingly “sixth senses” work, you’re going to love this episode!    Listen to discover: Whether or not we’re all born intuitive How to tell the difference between intuition and fear Why we all need to learn how to use our intuition  How to enhance and direct your intuition  The power of moving from intuition to action  Laura believes intuition is less a sixth sense and more an extension of the five senses we already have. But like a muscle, we have to exercise it and develop it.   When we learn to connect more deeply with ourselves and pay attention to what’s going on around us using all five senses, it’s amazing what we can uncover – and how that can help us direct our lives and relationships towards greater wisdom and wellbeing.   “We are all born intuitive.” - Laura Day   "If it's a persistent fear, it's not intuition. Intuition is accurate, immediate and actionable." - Laura Day   "It's a misnomer that intuition is a sixth sense. It's not. It's an extension of all of your senses in time and in space." - Laura Day   “So many people stay stuck, and they don’t realize that they are powerful creators and that they can get their way out of it.” - Michelle Chalfant    "The first thing you do to open your intuition or direct it effectively is you have goals." - Laura Day   "Intuition will show it to you, but it won't fix it for you." - Laura Day   LINKS & RESOURCES    Laura Day Website https://lauraday.com/    Laura Day Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lauradayintuit/    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

2023 is behind us, and 2024 is here! The new year represents a clean slate and new chapter where you can begin manifesting the year – the life – you want.    I believe that, as creative beings, we are always in “creation mode.” Like gravity, we can’t turn the laws of manifestation on and off – they just are.    So, then the question becomes: What do you really want? And what is it that you are creating with every thought you have and word you speak?   In this episode, I’m giving you everything you need to get more intentional with your creations this year, whether you have a dream you’re finally ready to manifest or there’s something you want to change in your current reality, beginning with the words you’re telling yourself.   We’re covering four keys for POWERFUL manifestation, how to tune your “energetic dial” into the “radio frequency” of your deepest desires and a 10-step process to help you clear the unconscious beliefs that are blocking your creations…this is the missing piece to manifestation that no one talks about but makes ALL the difference!   Listen to discover: How manifestation works Getting clear on what it is you truly want Why things aren’t manifesting in your life The missing piece of manifestation that no one talks about  A 10-step process to clear blocks and barriers to manifesting Four powerful keys to manifestation  You’re going to want to get pen and paper out for this one, because I’m giving you all the details, all the nuances and all the secrets to manifestation that I’ve learned over the years – with real-life examples to help you begin applying these principles today.   Whatever it is you want in 2024 (and even if you’re still figuring that out), this episode is step 1 to finding freedom from limiting beliefs, clearing unconscious blocks and changing the trajectory of your life this year.   “We are beings that are able to create. And we create our reality with every thought we have.” - Michelle Chalfant   "Once you clear your unconscious blocks, then you can attract in your creation." - Michelle Chalfant   "We have to have what I call a 'consistent manifesting mindset.'" - Michelle Chalfant   "Everything is possible – everything and anything. You just have to line up with it." - Michelle Chalfant   "The more you focus and expect and live as if this creation is coming in and already here, the faster it will come to you." - Michelle Chalfant   "I promise you can get and create the life that you want. Your thoughts and your spoken words are powerful. So, be really mindful of what you're saying." - Michelle Chalfant   "We're always in creation mode. It does not turn itself on and off, just like gravity. So, if you don't like your reality, you do have the power to change it with your thoughts." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification -  Doors Close January 5! https://theadultchair.com/certification   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Kute Blackson is no stranger to miracles. Growing up the son of a spiritual leader in Ghana, Africa, Kute witnessed healings and transformation that were nothing short of awe-inspiring.   But when he realized it wasn’t his calling to take over his father’s ministry in the way his family expected, it led him on a challenging and transformational journey of his own: one in which he discovered the magic of surrender and how it can heal our lives.   In this episode, Kute delivers so much wisdom about what surrender really is (it’s not passive like you might think), the role of the ego in our lives, why the challenges we face are an essential part of our soul’s journey and how to let go and live open to the possibilities – the miracles – life holds for us.   Listen to discover: Kute’s story of courageously following his calling even in the face of adversity Why challenging experiences are essential to our soul’s growth What surrender actually is and why it’s so powerful How to tell when we’re in the flow What to do when you feel stuck and are struggling to surrender Where resistance comes from Why surrender requires grieving what we think we know and how it opens us up to more love and joy Each of us is here with a purpose, and even the difficult moments in our lives hold something important for our growth. When we can relinquish control and what we think our lives should look like, we discover that there are divine possibilities beyond what our mind can even think of or dream up…and what a truly exciting, miraculous journey that is!  “Those challenges [don’t] mean you’re on the wrong path. It sometimes means you’re on the right path; you just have to go through, on a human level, the soul test.” - Kute Blackson   “Forgiveness frees you.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It doesn’t mean that when something difficult is in your path, it’s not God-inspired, soul-inspired.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Life is a university for our soul’s evolution…We’re always succeeding when we’re learning the lessons, even if it’s difficult.” - Kute Blackson   “In our culture, we have this misconception that surrender is weak.” - Kute Blackson   “In true surrender and letting go, what if you actually got more than you could have intended and planned with the limited concept of your own mind?” - Kute Blackson   “Surrender is when we stop trying to force life to fit into our limited idea of what we think it should look like.” - Kute Blackson   “Many of our goals are often projections of unmet needs from our childhood.” - Kute Blackson   “The mind is constantly seeking to understand why…which is another form of control.” - Kute Blackson   “It’s the journey that brings us the happiness.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Many times people think that they’re feeling the feeling, but they’re actually thinking about the feeling.” - Kute Blackson   “To truly surrender requires the willingness to move through the portal of grieving.” - Kute Blackson   LINKS & RESOURCES    Kute Blackson Website https://kuteblackson.com/    Kute Blackson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kuteblackson/    “The Magic of Surrender” (Kute Blackson Book) https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Surrender-Finding-Courage-Let/dp/0593189094    2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification -  Doors Close January 5! https://theadultchair.com/certification   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Whether it’s eating healthier, getting exercise, starting a meditation practice or staying socially connected, figuring out what to do to be happy might be simple – but actually doing these things and living in a way that lets us experience happiness is much harder. When we know there are things we can do that will make us healthier and happier, why do we struggle to actually do them? Why do we get caught in a cycle of chasing happiness instead of choosing joy, even when we know better? This is what Gretchen Rubin wanted to understand when she began studying happiness and why people form the habits they do.  It turns out that it has everything to do with how we relate to expectations.  Gretchen discovered that there are four different “tendencies” that tell us how different people approach habits and expectations – whether we question expectations, comply with expectations, rebel against expectations or uphold them from within.  We are born with our tendency and there’s no right or wrong way to be, but our ability to pursue happiness and form habits is directly connected to which tendency we’re wired with. In this episode, Gretchen describes each of the four tendencies in detail and ways to work with your type to go after the life you want. She also talks about habit formation and the different approaches to starting a new habit, so you can figure out which one works best for you!  This is so fascinating and has major implications for how we structure our lives, how we work with each other in business and relationships and so much more! Listen to discover: Concrete steps we can take to start boosting our happiness The "four tendencies" personality framework The Upholder, The Obliger, The Questioner and The Rebel – four different ways we all respond to inner and outer expectations How your tendency impacts how you form habits How to overcome resistance and work with your tendency to be as successful and happy as possible Misconceptions about happiness and techniques to form better habits Though it's true that everyone is different in terms of what makes us happy, we're also all different in how we get to the things that make us happy.  When we understand our wiring, we can overcome resistance and set ourselves up to achieve the life we want, in a way that is uniquely ours. "Our physical experience is always going to color our emotional experience." - Gretchen Rubin   "The key to happiness is relationships." - Gretchen Rubin   "Don't suit other people. Suit yourself." - Gretchen Rubin   "I'm a big believer in the genetic roots of personality." - Gretchen Rubin   "We can work with each other to help us all achieve our aims, but sometimes we have to provide a different way from what would work for us." - Gretchen Rubin   "Your communication style would change once you know this."  - Michelle Chalfant    "Happier people are more interested in the problems of the world." - Gretchen Rubin   "You have to take care of yourself. You have to put yourself first." - Michelle Chalfant    "When you're not indulging in a temptation, it goes away." - Gretchen Rubin   LINKS & RESOURCES    Gretchen Rubin Website https://gretchenrubin.com/    Happier Podcast (Gretchen Rubin podcast) https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/    Gretchen Rubin Books https://gretchenrubin.com/books/   The Four Tendencies Quiz https://gretchenrubin.com/fourtendencies    The Happier App https://the-happiness-project.com/pages/happier-app    Gretchen Rubin Facebook https://www.facebook.com/GretchenRubin    Gretchen Rubin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gretchenrubin/   Gretchen Rubin LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/gretchenrubin    2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close January 5! https://theadultchair.com/certification   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    Tanasi  https://tanasi.com/  Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

For too many years, mental health came with a stigma.    It was treated as something “wrong” in the mind, with the psychological and physical looked at entirely separately.    It’s almost as if we forgot that the brain is part of the body – a physical organ that needs care just like our heart, our gut or any other part of our body.    And when we support our brain health, it can have BIG impacts on our mental and emotional health.   Dr. Bisleen Attli is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy-certified naturopath, which is a fancy way of saying she bridges the world of psychology and physiology to promote mental health and brain health.   She is a wealth of knowledge on how our physical health and our brains are connected, and she digs down to find the root causes of common mental health challenges like depression and anxiety.   In this episode, Dr. Attli breaks down the science behind how food, sleep and even limiting beliefs affect our brain health, why mental health symptoms are often our bodies warning us about a physical imbalance and what you can do to feel better fast.   Listen to discover:   The #1 negative mindset that can affect brain health The common physiological roots of disease How blood sugar is related to brain health and the symptoms of blood sugar dysregulation  Why the gut is considered “the second brain”  How the liver, your hormones, inflammation and even your mitochondria can affect your mental health   There are certainly times where we need more support, and medication might be the right treatment for depression, anxiety or other mental health symptoms.   But when you see your brain as more than just your mind, but also part of your body – something that you listen to, care for and support – you will be able to make informed choices to support both your physical and mental health.    Because you are more than a diagnosis. You are a whole, connected being – mind, body and spirit – and you have more power over how you feel than you might have ever realized.   "A lot of people don't realize how they feel in their bodies has a direct impact on how they feel and think." - Dr. Bisleen Attli   "Your body and your mental health can truly be changed with effort." - Michelle Chalfant   "Something that I'm really big on emphasizing is addressing the root cause of brain health challenges...My big thing is, 'What the heck is happening in your body that is causing you to feel this way?'" - Dr. Bisleen Attli   "When it comes to the mindset piece of things, the number one thing I work on helping women uncover are their limiting beliefs." - Dr. Bisleen Attli   "I cannot tell you how many people have gone to therapists and then come to one of my coaches, and they're like, ‘I got more out of this one session than in my therapy for 10 years'" - Michelle Chalfant   "Whether someone comes to me for anxiety, depression, whatever it is, not only is there stuff happening in the mind, but we also have to understand that there are dysfunctions happening in the body that are causing you to feel how you feel. It's not all in your head." - Dr. Bisleen Attli   "If your blood sugar is all over the place, guess what's following? Your emotions." - Dr. Bisleen Attli   "Eating in a certain way affects your mood. You will find that you are less anxious, you're less moody, less depressed, less sad when you monitor blood sugar." - Michelle Chalfant   "Your gut impacts everything." - Dr. Bisleen Attli   "Good health isn't magical. It's just doing the simple things consistently on a daily basis and making sure you are prioritizing them." - Dr. Bisleen Attli   "It's not selfish to put yourself first. It's actually self-loving...You're going to be a better person if you're healthier – mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually – first. You can help so many more people. You can connect with more people." - Michelle Chalfant     LINKS & RESOURCES   Dr. Bisleen Attli Website https://www.wbhclinic.ca/    Dr. Bisleen Attli Instagram https://www.instagram.com/holisticbraindoctor/    Free 3-Day Adult Chair® Coach Fest https://theadultchair.com/lifecoaching    2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! https://theadultchair.com/certification   Tanasi  https://tanasi.com/  Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order   Green Chef http://greenchef.com/60adult   Use code 60Adult to get 60% off + 20% off next two months   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

As you think about your life, do you ever wish your story was different? You wish you more of this, less of that, that an event had never happened, that you had done the thing you will always regret not doing.  But what if the story you tell yourself about your life is just as important as the story of what happened to you?  And what if you could change your entire life by consciously changing how you think about your past? LaShonda Walker is a Certified Adult Chair® Coach who has created an incredible healing process called “A New Life Story,” inspired by her training in The Adult Chair® model.  Based on the idea that the challenges we face in our present reality are always connected to something from our past, LaShonda helps people identify the limiting beliefs they carry with them, edit the stories they tell themselves using fact and truth and, as a result, rewrite their entire future…and the futures of the people around them.   Using this process, LaShonda has seen clients get unstuck and make HUGE life changes in just 20 minutes, and I can’t get over how powerful it is. In fact, I asked LaShonda to coach me using her process on air, and she dropped an insight about my life so mind-blowing that it left me speechless!   In this episode, LaShonda breaks down her process step-by-step so you can try this powerful work and begin writing a new story for yourself and your family today. Listen to discover: TAC Coach LaShonda Walker's "A New Life Story" process Why your past determines your present How to replace old stories and limiting beliefs with fact and truth How to edit and rewrite your life story based on who you are today 5 "W" questions to ask yourself when rewriting your story Why doing your work transforms generations  A huge takeaway from what LaShonda shared is that we aren’t just products of our pasts; we’re products of our entire family’s pasts. Sometimes the limiting beliefs and challenges we struggle with aren’t even ours…but they are ours to heal. When we step up and do this work, we can change the legacy of our family for generations to come.  You are the author of your own story, no matter what has happened in your life. What new story do you want to write for yourself today? "I'm finding with my clients that when things are coming up in their present, it is connected to the past. And as we begin to look at that, we discover limiting beliefs that are there." - LaShonda Walker "We don't realize how much we bring from our past." - LaShonda Walker "As you're doing that work of healing the present – your emotions, your triggers, working with those Adolescent stories – as you heal, that healing then begins to transform your legacy." - LaShonda Walker "It's all limiting beliefs from childhood. They're just sitting in there, inside of us. That's why we get so triggered." - Michelle Chalfant "The work is worth it." - LaShonda Walker "You are absolutely asking the right questions and cracking them open for fast transformation and relief from their pain, their emotional disturbance, their limiting beliefs, all of these things." - Michelle Chalfant  "When you are in your power, I truly believe you are in overflow. And when you are in overflow, you are able to then feed and provide and share and help build up others." - LaShonda Walker "We don't just heal as individuals. We heal in community." - LaShonda Walker   LINKS & RESOURCES LaShonda Walker Website https://www.anewlifestorycoaching.com/    LaShonda Walker Instagram https://www.instagram.com/anewlifestorycoach/   A New Life Story Podcast (LaShonda Walker Podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-new-life-story-consciously-uncovering-your/id1701481844    Free 3-Day Adult Chair® Coach Fest https://theadultchair.com/lifecoaching    2024 The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open December 11  https://theadultchair.com/certification   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

‘Tis the season…for triggers!   At the holidays, stress, drinking, spending money and spending time with others all increase. And with that, comes a decrease in patience, sleep, time for self and all the things that make us more resilient to stress.   Add in the fact that we tend to be around people we aren’t normally around for longer periods of time, and it’s a landmine for triggers.    But as you know, I love triggers because they are such a powerful opportunity to look at and work on our limiting beliefs.    So, I invite you to view this year’s triggers as a holiday gift…a chance to not only learn about yourself but eradicate triggers for good.   Don’t worry: I’m not sending you out there without a plan. I’m giving you 10 steps to work with a trigger so you can be prepared for whatever comes your way this holiday season.    The first four steps will help you regulate your nervous system, calm down and come back into balance when triggered. These are a lifesaver if you’re at a gathering where you need to keep your cool until you can work on the trigger!   Then the last six steps will teach you exactly how to work with your triggers so you can heal the limiting beliefs beneath them, get unstuck and get triggered a whole lot less in the future.   Listen to discover: Why the holidays are a prime time for triggers What a trigger is and where they come from  Why triggers are an amazing opportunity to work with limiting beliefs The difference between a trigger and a true emotion 10 steps to work with a trigger Sure, maybe triggers are like finding a pair of socks wrapped up under the tree – not what you wanted, but what you needed. They’re still a gift!  I hope you discover so much about yourself this holiday season and transform those triggers so you can live with more peace all year long!  “That is what a trigger is: it is a belief that I have about myself.” - Michelle Chalfant    “Triggers are a way to help us to find and identify limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant    "A trigger is something that we carry with us…When you can move on from something, it's not a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant    “More than likely, most of these beliefs – crazy enough – are from the age of zero to six. And Carl Jung says the average age is actually three, where these beliefs have been planted into the unconscious mind.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Your breath is your savior because it will help you to stay present. It helps to keep you slow. It helps to rebalance the nervous system.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The way out of our pain, the way out of our triggers is to go through.” - Michelle Chalfant   “​​Energy does not stay constant, my friends. So, if you allow it to do whatever it needs to do, it will start to move through you.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You will find [with] this tool [that] you're gonna be able to use it not just at the holidays but the rest of your life. It is empowering.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1!  https://theadultchair.com/certification   Tanasi  https://tanasi.com/  Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

The holidays are a time where it feels like everything is a bit magnified: there is so much joy and brightness in the world but also space for sadness, loneliness and grief to be amplified.   It’s a touchy time of year where whatever we’re feeling gets underscored by parties, gatherings and traditions.   But the holidays don’t create these feelings. In fact, according to my guest on the podcast today, WE don’t even create most of these feelings. Rather, we pick them up from our parents and the world around us, and the key to overcoming loneliness and sadness is to understand where it all began.   In this episode, I’m bringing back one of my favorite people, Dr. Dain Heer, to talk about loneliness, how to identify what is ours and what is not, how to clear what’s not ours, how to get out of victim and so many more important, empowering topics!    Dr. Dain also shares tools and techniques you can use immediately to start clearing negative emotions – one of the reasons I love his work so much!  Listen to discover: What loneliness is and where it comes from Why 98% of our thoughts and feeling aren’t actually ours – and where they come from How to get out of negative emotions What to do if you’re experiencing loneliness in life The true root of victimhood The “clearing statement” for fast transformation Dr. Dain’s work with Access Consciousness is all about realizing the power you have within you to change. When you’re able to get rid of what is not yours, it gives you the space and energy to work on what IS yours and create your life instead of falling victim to it. I hope the tools in this episode help you find your inner power, no matter what you’re feeling this holiday season – or any time of the year!    “Your point of view creates your reality. Your reality doesn’t create your point of view.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “It’s as simple as redirecting that energy out of your energy field.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It starts to undo the foundation of limitation.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “We don’t have to be limited by the world around us.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “When we open the door for possibilities, it makes that available to everybody else on the planet.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “People who do victim have learned it.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “Victims are actually victimizing others and controlling them with their victimhood.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “If we can just sit in someone else’s energy field that’s healthy, we become more like them.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Dr. Dain Heer Website https://drdainheer.com/    Dr. Dain Heer YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/drdainheer    Dr. Dain Heer Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrDainHeer    Dr. Dain Heer Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dainheer/    Who Does This Belong To App https://www.accessconsciousness.com/en/shop-catalog/apps/who-does-this-belong-to-app/    The Clearing Statement https://theclearingstatement.com/    “Body Whispering” (Dr. Dain Heer Book) https://www.amazon.com/Body-Whispering-Dr-Heer/dp/1634934873    Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1!  https://theadultchair.com/certification   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

What image comes to mind when you think about self-care?   A massage or bubble bath? A fancy dinner? Being all zenned out in lotus pose?   Though these things can be wonderful, I also think they can give self-care a bad name by portraying it as something fun, frivolous and even a little selfish.   In reality, true self-care – or what I like to call “therapeutic self-care” – is absolutely essential to our well-being and our ability to show up for those around us.   Therapeutic self-care is about meeting your core needs as a human – mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. It’s an inside job first and foremost, and it doesn't have to be time-consuming or expensive to do WONDERS for your nervous system, stress levels and overall balance in life.   As we go into the holidays where schedules are extra packed and stress is high, we need to become even more mindful of our self-care. To send you into this season with empowering self-care practices, I tapped Adult Chair® Master Coach and self-care guru, Theresa Steighner, to share her advice for self-care at the holidays (and year round!) with us.   Theresa shares the four pillars of true self-care, plus five fast and free things you can do daily to keep your nervous system in balance…this is self-care like you’ve never heard it talked about before!   Listen to discover: ●     Why self-care is so important ●     What "therapeutic self-care" is ●     The four pillars of true self-care ●     5 quick ways to regulate your nervous system ●     How to prioritize yourself and your self-care I promise you, if you do what Theresa recommends in this episode, you’ll feel less stress, less overwhelm, more presence and more peace this holiday season. Tidings of comfort and joy, indeed.   "Our self-care is more than the bubble baths, the massages, the getting the pedicures. Self-care is really about taking care of our needs on that physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level." - Theresa Steighner   "A big part of self-care is being able to set those boundaries, but we really have to know who we are first." - Theresa Steighner   "When somebody compliments you, it's a reflection of you back to you." - Theresa Steighner   "Awareness is key. We cannot change what we are not aware of." - Theresa Steighner   "You can't grab what's happening in the moment and raise your self-awareness if you're constantly in the future or the past. Make sure you're slowing down." - Michelle Chalfant   "Women have a really hard time putting ourselves first." - Michelle Chalfant   "Nature regulates our nervous system." - Theresa Steighner   "Yoga helps us to repattern those habitual response patterns and brings awareness so that we can show up in a healthier way, in that healthy adult." - Theresa Steighner   "You've got to make sure you're asking for what you need. You're worth it." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES   Theresa Steighner Website https://www.peacefulwellbeing.com/   Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1! https://theadultchair.com/certification   Green Chef http://greenchef.com/adult250  Use code ADULT250 to get $250 off   Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Have you ever felt stuck in life, like you dislike where you are but think you have no other options?   This is one of my least favorite places to be (and I’ve been there many times). Being unhappy feels bad enough…but what truly feels terrible is thinking there’s no way out.   And when we believe there’s no way out, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.    That’s because it’s not our circumstances that keep us stuck, but our thoughts and beliefs. Stuck thoughts lead to stuck energy, which paralyzes us.    To get unstuck, we have to interrupt this thought pattern and shift our energy so we can move forward!   In this episode, I’m giving you six of my favorite ways to do that. These are the tools I turn to when I’m feeling stuck…and if you know me, you know I like things that I can start applying right away. So, if you’re ready to get unstuck and start seeing transformation TODAY, this is the show for you!   Listen to discover: 6 practical tools to get unstuck The power of acceptance How to manifest your future reality today Why complaining keeps us stuck How to practice gratitude for true transformation Why journaling is such a powerful tool for moving energy The #1 way to change your life I’ve realized over the years that the way we change our lives is through the small choices we make every day.   These small steps – things like gratitude, watching our thoughts, being honest with ourselves – done with consistency transform us over time.   If you’re feeling stuck and discouraged, I’ve been there, and I get it.   But I KNOW you can change your life, because I’ve changed mine using the tools in this episode…and if I can do it, you can too!    Which of these tools will you choose today to start moving toward the life you want?   ​​“You’ve got to own what’s in your life.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Acceptance starts to move our energy out of a stuck place.” - Michelle Chalfant   “In order to really get unstuck and create change, you’ve got to get really, really clear about what you want instead.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We can manifest anything – anything at all. But you’ve got to use your mind…to get out of the place that you are in.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Your thoughts are very powerful, but the spoken word is even more powerful. When you speak about your limitations, you’re anchoring into your current reality your limitations.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Think about how much energy you’re giving the thing that you don’t want anymore…We want to talk about what’s coming.” - Michelle Chalfant   "Many studies have even shown that journaling can be similar or feel similar to going to a therapist or coach. Because what happens is, when we're journaling, we're purging." - Michelle Chalfant   "Life, my friends, is a choice. What are you going to choose for yourself? Are you going to choose to go into that victim seat or are you going to choose to feel more empowered?" - Michelle Chalfant   "The way we change our lives is to be intentional with all of our choices." - Michelle Chalfant    "You're the only one that can transform your life. You just have to take time and choose to put yourself first and get unstuck and change your life. You can do this." - Michelle Chalfant     LINKS & RESOURCES   Share the Love - Review The Adult Chair® Podcast  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634   Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    Tanasi  https://tanasi.com/  Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

We all have a “true self” – the essence of who we were before the world told us who to be.    We’re born with this essence, but over time, we start reacting to the world around us and create a false self out of our wounds, our experiences and our attempts to get our needs met.    The false self isn’t bad, but it isn’t who we really are – and a lot of the challenges we experience in life, like anxiety and depression, come from living out of alignment with our true self.   Any sort of healing work must begin with cracking open the false self and discovering who we really are.   This all might sound very philosophical, but the good news is that accessing our true selves is shockingly practical.    By using simple tools that we all have access to, we can begin to reconnect with who we really are and live with the peace, balance, happiness and fulfillment that comes from showing up authentically in the world.   In this episode, I’m giving you five simple ways to start living more from your true self. These are all tools that are totally free and available right now, wherever you are!    Listen to discover: What we mean when we talk about the “true self” Why we develop a “false self” 5 ways to connect with and live from your true self How to feel your emotions Practical self-care ideas How journaling can help you tap into a deeper part of self This is a process, but make sure you’re taking time to notice even the little wins. As you experiment with these tools, really sit with that wonderful feeling of rediscovering a tiny piece of yourself. Start paying attention and validating yourself for who you really are.   Over time, I think you're going to be really surprised (in a lovely way) when you begin to not only rediscover aspects of your true self, but also start claiming those aspects and living from that place more each day.   “Some of us have a much thicker layer of the false self, and some of us have a thinner layer of the false self. The good news is [that] anyone can learn how to penetrate that false self and rediscover and live from their true self.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Getting in touch with our emotions is such a magical thing.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We have a lot more emotions than happy, sad, mad, ashamed and glad.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When we put ourselves first and practice what we need as far as taking care of ourselves, it's really, really healthy.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Self-care is tuning in and asking, ‘What do I need right now in order to make myself feel more comfortable, safe, relaxed and de-stressed?’” - Michelle Chalfant   “Self-care activities will promote and help with self-love and self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Breathwork takes you deeper into yourself. It can truly crack you open and help you to get in touch with some emotions that have been trapped or stuck.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Journaling takes you on a journey to the depths of your soul.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES   Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge  https://theadultchair.com/30days    Share the Love - Review The Adult Chair® Podcast  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Everyone seems to have an opinion about psychedelics these days.   Doctors and therapists see them as potential treatments for things like anxiety, depression and PTSD. Spiritual communities believe they open us up to the divine. Politicians debate whether they should be legal or illegal.    I have to admit that when I first heard people talking about them, I was scared.   I’m not a big fan of substance use of any kind, and the idea of a “drug” becoming mainstream concerned me.   But when some respected psychologists and colleagues of mine started talking about the healing power of psychedelics — people who were far from the 1960s “Summer of Love” stereotype — I knew the topic at least deserved my honest research.   As I dug deeper into the science behind psychedelics and understood how they worked in the mind, I began to realize they weren’t about escaping but about going deeper into oneself by quieting the ego and opening the door to new parts of our consciousness.    But, I wanted to make sure my opinion was backed up by accurate, science-based, factual research. And there are few people who I’ve found better informed on this topic than Matt Zemon.   Matt was once a fellow skeptic like me who also became convinced through research and experience that psychedelics can play a positive role in therapeutic and medical settings.   He is one of the most grounded, scientific voices I’ve heard on this topic — perfect for anyone who simply wants to learn more and see what you think for yourself — and I am thrilled to have him share his wealth of knowledge in this episode.   Listen to discover: Matt’s story of opening his mind to psychedelics – and how they changed his life Safety considerations for psychedelic use  Whether or not psychedelics are addictive (and how they can help treat addiction) The different types of psychedelics and how they work in the mind How and why psychedelics can help us change our thought patterns The importance of therapeutic integration after a psychedelic experience Resources for doing your own research and safe psychedelic use The choice to have a psychedelic experience is very personal, and I would never tell someone they should or should not try a powerful substance like these.    But I do think we should all do our due diligence to research new breakthroughs in healing with an open mind — which I hope this episode helps you do.    Because whether you get there through a psychedelic or not, allowing yourself to see new perspectives and change your mind is how you grow as a human…and that’s always a path worth pursuing.   "In that first six- or seven-hour [psychedelic] journey, the entire way I look and interact with the world shifted." - Matt Zemon   "Physically, these substances are relatively safe." - Matt Zemon   "Not all psychedelics are the same, and you don't want to be on certain medications and taking a psychedelic." - Matt Zemon   "The psychedelic process can help us remember a way that we used to think, maybe before we had adopted those behaviors...and from that rememberance, we can then start to take the steps to change our life." - Matt Zemon   "It's not so much that [psychedelics are] a cure...they're really catalysts for change." - Matt Zemon   "It's not a magic pill. None of them are a magic pill." - Michelle Chalfant   "I felt like I was sitting with God each and every time. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever done." - Michelle Chalfant   "The most important thing was the integration. What do you do after you've had this experience and then how do you integrate that into your life?" - Michelle Chalfant   "In the psychedelic experience, a few things are going to happen. Your default mode network...is going to quiet down...Neurons fire together that haven't fired together in a long time...In this process, it's common that you will then feel connected to all things and all people. You'll feel loved. You'll feel enough. And that is, in my opinion, the reclaiming of your true self." - Matt Zemon   "When you know you're enough and you know you're loved, you're starting to take away the masks you've put on and have been put on you." - Matt Zemon   LINKS & RESOURCES   Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge  https://theadultchair.com/30days    Tanasi  https://tanasi.com/  Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order   Matt Zemon Website https://mattzemon.com/   "Psychedelics for Everyone" (Matt Zemon Book) https://www.amazon.com/Psychedelics-Everyone-Beginners-Depression-Consciousness/dp/B0BCS7NM9H    Matt Zemon Instagram https://www.instagram.com/matt.zemon/    "How to Change Your Mind" Book https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Mind-Consciousness-Transcendence/dp/0735224153    Spirit Pharmacist Psychedelic Consultations/Education https://www.spiritpharmacist.com/    "A Really Good Day" Book https://www.amazon.com/Really-Good-Day-Microdosing-Difference-ebook/dp/B01FPH0IUO/    Safe Drug Testing https://drugsdata.org/  https://dancesafe.org/    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Triggers are a gift.   Yes, you heard that right (and if you’ve been here for a while, you’ve heard me say it before) – I LOVE being triggered!    That’s not to say it’s fun being triggered, but working with triggers has led to some of the most transformational moments of my life.    See, triggers reveal unknown, unconscious beliefs we hold about ourselves – limiting beliefs that cause us pain and hold back in life.    When these beliefs rise to the surface in the form of a trigger, we get the beautiful opportunity to work with them and transform them…not only healing the trigger but helping us get unstuck and change our lives.   One of my Adult Chair® Coaches, Angela, recently had an experience working with a trigger that was so transformational that even she has jumped on the “triggers are a gift” bandwagon.   A tiff with her husband led to a HUGE moment of self-discovery and deeper connection in their relationship, thanks to the trigger tools Angela learned through The Adult Chair®.   I was so proud of the work she did that I invited her to come on the show and share exactly how she took ownership of the trigger (instead of blaming her husband) and then worked with the trigger to discover and heal the surprising belief underneath it — one she would have never recognized without the trigger    Listen to discover: How Angela used The Adult Chair (TAC) to work through a trigger and repair a relationship The surprising root of Angela's trigger that she was able to uncover How TAC has completely changed the way Angela responds when triggered Why triggers are the gateway to freedom How triggers work through the lens of the Child, Adolescent and Adult Chairs Steps for working through a trigger Why doing our work and healing can make us less vulnerable to triggers When we work on our triggers, it is true freedom.    We not only heal the limiting beliefs that hold us back but also find that we get triggered less with time.    This is one of my favorite conversations because it shows this work in action and breaks it down for you in a powerful way. You will discover exactly how triggers work through the lens of The Adult Chair, how to stay regulated and grounded next time you’re triggered and steps to work through and heal your triggers for good.   “When we work with ourselves and work on our own healing of our old wounds…it affects so many people around us.” - Michelle Chalfant    "Like you said, triggers are a gift. You say it. I don't want it to be true. But I'm learning that it is." - Angela Johnson   "[Triggers] are a gift...You will learn something about a part of you that's been buried for a very long time. And it is an opportunity to look at that and actually transform and bring that part into the light, and then it doesn't trigger you anymore." - Michelle Chalfant   "What we don't understand about this work sometimes, because it feels scary, is that on the other side of it is freedom." - Angela Johnson   "I've lived in that space of letting [triggers] disrupt my life and relationships for long enough that I just don't want to live that way anymore." - Angela Johnson   "When we're in our Adult Chair...we remember that life is a choice, and everything in life is a choice. And we get to choose, "Do I want to stay in victim seat?" or, "Do I want to reach over and be in my empowerment seat?'" - Michelle Chalfant   "Our perspective when we're triggered shrinks way down...what we want to do is broaden your perspective, and then you have all these different choices and options." - Michelle Chalfant   "In the Adult, we live in the moment. We don't drag things from the past into the moment." - Michelle Chalfant   "Freedom is not a quick little pill. It does take a little bit of work. But it's long lasting. This is not a band-aid approach." - Michelle Chalfant   "You don't get activated the same way after you do that work. That's the miracle." - Angela Johnson   LINKS & RESOURCES   Angela Johnson Website https://openhandscoaching.com/   Use code TRIGGER for $25 off a session   Find an Adult Chair® Coach  https://theadultchair.com/coaches/    Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge  https://theadultchair.com/30days    Tanasi  https://tanasi.com/  Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you ever wonder why you do what you do…and if it’s just you who does it?   Your gifts, your life’s mission, how much energy you have, what you need in relationships, how you view money – these are all unique to you.    And according to Human Design, you are the way you are for a special reason.   Unlike personality typing systems based on mental or behavioral patterns, Human Design is a system based on energy and what was going on in the universe when you were born. Though there are five main “types” within Human Design, it’s a very dynamic system that will help you understand what makes you you and what you need to thrive.   I’ve been hearing tons of buzz about Human Design recently, and in this episode, I talk with Human Design coach (and overall delightful human), Emma Dunwoody, about what Human Design is and how it can help us better embrace our true selves.   Not only does Emma answer all my questions about Human Design, but she also helped me decode my chart, and let me tell you – I felt so seen, validated and free to be myself once I understood I’m exactly who I’m meant to be (and you are too!).   Listen to discover: What Human Design is  The difference between Human Design and other personality systems  How Human Design can change your life How to decode your own Human Design chart  The five Human Design types  What "functional burnout" is  How Human Design can help us in dating and relationships  What Human Design teaches us about money As you know from The Adult Chair®, we are all a kaleidoscope of parts, talents and experiences.    Human Design is a fun, insightful tool to help us understand a little bit more about who we are — not to put us in a box but to give us permission to embrace and be our true selves.   Because all those things that only you do? They make you uniquely lovable YOU, and the world wouldn’t be the same without you.    "With Human Design, we don't go via the mind. We actually go via the energy…It gives us this energetic blueprint. I love to think of it as a treasure map to our authenticity." - Emma Dunwoody   "You don't go into future with this at all. It really is just about who I am today." - Michelle Chalfant   "So many people spend all this time trying to change themselves...With Human Design, it ultimately gives you a permission slip to be you." - Emma Dunwoody   "We think we need to become who other people tell us that we should become...but with Human Design, you really help people to touch their true self." - Michelle Chalfant   "Human Design teaches us that there are actually two different types of burnout...but what we don't talk about is this 'functional burnout.'" - Emma Dunwoody   "There's so many ways that Human Design can really amplify and improve relationships." - Emma Dunwoody   "Actually, what money is all about is being in alignment to your authenticity…When we are free to be ourselves, then we can't help but make money." - Emma Dunwoody   "Our profile really helps us understand how we do life, what people want from us, how we learn." - Emma Dunwoody   "Human Design is basically the science of being unique." - Emma Dunwoody   LINKS & RESOURCES   Emma Dunwoody Website (Get a Free Human Design Chart) https://www.emmadunwoody.com/    "The Human Design Podcast" (Emma Dunwoody Podcast) https://www.emmadunwoody.com/the-human-design-podcast    Emma Dunwoody Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_human_design_coach/   Tanasi  https://tanasi.com/  Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

When we think of trust in a relationship, most of us think of broken trust and big betrayals – things like infidelity, addiction and secrets.   But true trust is about the small actions that we take every day. Trust isn’t something we have by default unless it’s broken; it's something we have to build.   With every interaction, we’re either building or whittling away trust – and sometimes the things that break trust are so subtle, we don’t even know we’re doing them!    In this episode, I’m giving you six ways to build trust so you can grow your relationship with your partner. These are small, simple actions, but they require awareness, intention and being in your Adult Chair to do consistently.    If you want a long-lasting, deeper connection with your partner, this episode is a must listen!    Listen to discover: What trust in a relationship is and why it's so important  How trust deepens the bond in a committed relationship  6 steps to build trust today The importance of being true to your word How to own and apologize for mistakes and move forward  How to show up with presence and prioritize your relationship  Without trust, we can’t have healthy, connected relationships. Trust is an energetic bond that creates safety and allows us to open up, be vulnerable and grow together.    The good news is that it’s not about perfection. All of us – including myself – don’t get these right all the time.   What’s important is what we do when we mess up.    Honesty, presence and the ability to own our mistakes are the ways we as imperfect humans create deep bonds with other imperfect humans and the key to getting the love you want – not the perfect fairy tale, but a beautiful journey of learning and growing together.    “Trust is one of the essential components to a healthy, committed relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If we’re going to speak something and promise something to our partner, we want to make sure that we are able to line up behind what we’re saying.” - Michelle Chalfant    “If you are going to speak something into existence, you have to speak it with your full energy and with you behind it…Your actions need to match your words.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Owning it does not mean that you’re a bad person. You’re a human person, and mistakes are gonna happen.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If you want to build trust and you’re in a committed relationship, apologizing is powerful. It helps to build a connection.” - Michelle Chalfant   "When we have important people in our lives, we need to put the phone down, not look at the television, not get distracted by the dog or the cat or the animal in your house. We want to make sure that we're prioritizing our person and giving them our full attention." - Michelle Chalfant   “We need to give our person eye contact when we’re listening. Because then they’re going to feel seen and they’re gonna feel heard, they feel important.”  - Michelle Chalfant   "You can't put the relationship on the back burner and your person on the back burner and expect [the relationship] to grow and flourish." - Michelle Chalfant    "If you've got friends that are...acting in a way that's disrespectful to your partner, it's your job to defend your partner." - Michelle Chalfant    "Even if the truth hurts, it's better than lying." - Michelle Chalfant   "It feels so good to know that your person has you and you've got them. That's that bond of trust. Trust is like this energetic bond that we form with our partner." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES   DOORS OPEN: “The Relationship Reset” Course https://resources.michellechalfant.com/relationships/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

For millennia, cultures around the globe have known that there’s more to us than meets the eye and that our family trees really are a map to ourselves — an energetic portrait of our lives.   Today, epigenetics has proven that what our ancestors experienced can imprint on our genes and impact our lives today in unexpected ways.    That depression, anxiety, stress or limiting belief? It might be from long ago.   And the field of psychology is finally catching up with this.    A new methodology I just discovered (and got the chance to try as a client) is called Family Constellation work.    In this method, we find unconscious experiences and beliefs that we’re carrying from our ancestors — including those who we never knew — and work to transform them through awareness and compassion.   On the podcast this week, I talked with my Family Constellation practitioner, Emily Blefeld, about what Family Constellation work is, how our family history affects our lives today and how we can clear blocks and dismantle generational cycles by being bold and brave enough to look at what happened before we were even here.   It’s not that different from what we do with parts work in The Adult Chair®, except instead of working with parts of ourselves we’re working with parts of our family tree! It’s SO freaking cool!   Listen to discover: How our family history impacts our present reality The way our ancestors' patterns create patterns for us today What Family Constellation work is and how it works How to heal trauma and clear blocks through Family Constellation work Using Family Constellation work for business, non-biological relatives and more The cool thing about epigenetics is that it describes a tendency, not a fate. These experiences don’t change our DNA; they change the way our genes express themselves.   That means we get a choice in how these generational traumas will manifest in our lives.   We don’t have to agree with the beliefs and experiences of our ancestors. We can look them in the face and decide they stop with us.    And there’s no transformation more powerful than that – for ourselves and generations to come.   “We are victim to our lineage.” - Michelle Chalfant    “What’s unconscious will continue to permeate our lives until it’s made conscious.” - Emily Blefeld   “We actually carry the victims and the perpetrators in our inherited lineage.” - Emily Blefeld   “[Family Constellation work] is predominantly a therapy that looks at the system that we walk around with.” - Emily Blefeld   “Constellation work is less interested in what is causing the symptom, and they’re more interested in who is the symptom.” - Emily Blefeld   "I like to think of it as a family soul on some level." - Emily Blefeld   "There's so much more to us than meets the eye." - Michelle Chalfant   "There are so many different ways to clear our blocks. There's so many different ways to relieve anxiety, depression, feeling not good enough, our inner fraud, all of those things." - Michelle Chalfant   "You'll feel the generations behind heal and the generations following." - Emily Blefeld   "What an awesome thing to hear as a parent, your child thanking you for doing your work. Because it can stop with you." - Emily Blefeld   LINKS & RESOURCES   Emily Blefeld Website https://seeingwithyourheart.com/    FREE MASTERCLASS: How To Heal Your Relationship To Get the Love You Want https://theadultchair.com/healing     MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

What if everything you do in your life is actually driven by one question – a question that is unconscious to you but acts as the command center for how you show up in the world?   That question is what Mike Foster calls your “primal question,” and let me tell you, when I discovered mine, it was like my whole life made sense.    Mike developed The Seven Primal Questions system based on his research and work as a coach.   The idea is that we all have a question – like, “Am I safe?” or, “Am I loved?” – that we didn’t get answered in childhood and that we continue to ask as adults.   When the answer to this question is “yes,” we feel good and become our best selves.   When it’s “no,” we start scrambling. Our emotional reactions, compulsions, unhelpful behaviors and survival strategies (things like perfectionism and people pleasing) are all attempts to get this question answered in the way we want.   The cool thing? When we understand our primal question and the question of our loved ones, we can change everything about our relationships by healing our wounds, connecting to our gifts and intentionally answering each others’ question with a “yes!”   I LOVE this system, and I’m thrilled to have Mike on this show giving us a crash course in it as he breaks down the seven questions, their corresponding “primal truths” and “primal gifts” and how these questions can show up in our lives in different ways.   Listen to discover: The Seven Primal Questions and what they mean for your life How to replace your primal question with a primal truth Why the flipside of your primal question is your superpower How you can stop letting your child self run your life and live from your healthy adult self How to apply your primal question in business and relationships  I have a feeling you’ll have some lightbulb moments during this show. I also have a link below to help you find your primal question if you’re having trouble figuring it out.   This tool is a GAME CHANGER for more consciously relating to ourselves and others, and I’m thrilled to share it with you! It gets down to the core of what makes us tick and shows us how to love ourselves and the people in our life better…and who doesn’t want that?   “In our early childhood, we get imprinted with a primal question…The primal question just represents our highest...emotional need.” - Mike Foster   “‘Am I safe?’ is really about survival…where security is really about, ‘Am I resourced appropriately to be able to protect myself and sustain myself?’” - Mike Foster   “[That’s] what children do, we perceive the world we’re in and then we make conclusions about it.” - Mike Foster   “The other side of the question is what I call your primal gift, and it’s this superpower that every question has.” - Mike Foster   "[During the first six years of life] we don't have discernment...we take it on as, 'It's my fault. I did something wrong.'" - Michelle Chalfant   "When we start attuning to our team members' primal question, we can really become a very effective leader with them." - Mike Foster   "What we need the most is what we want to give away to others." - Mike Foster   "Under every behavior is an emotional or feeling driving that behavior. But under every emotion and feeling is an unmet need driving that emotion or feeling." - Mike Foster   "A question being imprinted by trauma is just gonna carry a lot more weight to it than a question just imprinted through confusion." - Mike Foster   "I just see this as such an empowering tool that can help any relationship." - Michelle Chalfant   "I need to be really aware of how my question is showing up in my life." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES   Mike Foster Website https://www.mikefoster.tv/    Seven Primal Questions Assessment  https://mikefostercoaching.outgrow.us/mikefostercoaching-2   "The Seven Primal Questions" (Mike Foster Book) https://shop.mikefoster.tv/products/seven-primal-questions-book    Mike Foster Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mikefoster2000/    FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Healthy Relationship Myths https://theadultchair.com/myths    Green Chef https://www.greenchef.com/60adult Use code 60ADULT for 60% off + free shipping   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Grief is a messy, complicated emotion, and very few of us know what to do with it.   We don’t want to (or know how to) feel it, and when we’re around others who are grieving, most of us freeze.   We feel uncomfortable, so we say nothing or say the wrong thing or stay away, all of which just adds to the pain.    That was me in my 20s and 30s. But when I lost my father, I could no longer avoid grief. He taught me how to grieve…and I found that grief, as painful as it was, connected me to the deeper parts of my soul and made me a more whole-hearted person.    In this episode, I was fortunate to connect with a new soul sister, Kris Carr, about her own journey with grief following the loss of her father.    She experienced a lot of loss — including 20 years of living with Stage 4 cancer — but like me, she had spent her life shoving grief down until her dad passed away.   As she walked with him from diagnosis until his death, she experienced heartbreaking moments, precious moments, joyful moments and spiritual moments that taught her more about being human and opened her up to life.   We talk about how grief can show up in many different ways (not just death), what happens in our bodies when we don’t process it, how to support each other through this universal human experience and how to find joy even in a world where pain is part of our reality.   Listen to discover: Kris's story of learning to live with both grief and hope What to say and not say to someone who is grieving What happens when we don't process grief Healthy ways to process grief  Taking a "joy inventory" of your life   This conversation is raw, real and beautiful — it’s wisdom earned by being in the trenches, and I hope it helps you get a little more comfortable with the discomfort of grief.    There is no formula for grief. It’s something we simply have to be there with.    And when we learn to be there with each other and hold space for it, it can become a sacred moment of deeper connection to ourselves and to each other.     "Grief is such a touchy topic, and sometimes it can be hard to even approach the idea of learning more about it." - Kris Carr   "In many ways, grief is a master healer." - Kris Carr   "I couldn't hold [grief] in any longer and expect to be whole." - Kris Carr   "We don't want to feel [grief]. We don't want to go into the negative emotion zone. If emotions are on that spectrum of love to fear, we don't want to go on that side of the spectrum at all. And grief is sitting right there glaring at all of us." - Michelle Chalfant    "None of us are going to get out this life scratch free and stain resistant." - Kris Carr   "I want to welcome all the parts of me and all the emotions to the table." - Kris Carr   "I don't think the [stages of grief] were ever intended to be linear." - Kris Carr   "There's nothing you can do to make my pain go away. So, it's not your responsibility to fix it. It's your responsibility to be present." - Kris Carr   "There's nothing anybody can say or do to make the grief go away...but showing up with presence is one the best things we can do...As a human being, to feel witnessed is such a healing experience for us." - Michelle Chalfant   "Not only are [our emotions] information, but they're energy. [Crying] is just letting that energy out." - Kris Carr   "While you have the chance to be alive, how can you live as fully as possible, even though you've experienced enormous heartache?" - Kris Carr   LINKS & RESOURCES   Kris Carr Website https://kriscarr.com/   "I'm Not a Mourning Person" (Kris Carr Book) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401970060    FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Healthy Relationship Myths https://theadultchair.com/myths    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

You’re here today, doing the work, living from your Adult Chair, becoming who you want to become.    It feels really good. But as we live and grow and transform, it can sometimes bring up negative feelings about our past.   Whether we made mistakes, missed opportunities, were hurt by someone or experienced a life-altering loss, every one of us has something about our past we wish we could change.   Regret can cut deep – into our very souls – and bring a lot of pain, shame and blame with it.    But whenever we live in regret, it causes us to miss another opportunity: the chance to make the most of the moment we have right now.  In this show, I’m giving you three common reasons we get stuck in the past and six ways to make peace with your past and start living in the present moment.  You will gain a new perspective on your past and learn to reframe it so you can rewire your brain to live without regret. Listen to discover: 3 reasons we get stuck in the past (and what to do about them) Why living in present reality is so much better than past reality How to reframe how you think about your past 6 ways to make peace with your past Remember, today will soon become your past. Will you look back and wish you hadn’t spent it stuck in regret? Or will you make the most of the moment and use the power you have right now to be who you want to be today?   The present moment is such a powerful reality to live in.   It's here that we find peace and joy. It’s here that we have the ability to make this moment one we won't regret.   “The decision that we made in that moment, I don’t care how old you were…the person that we were in that moment, we were showing up the very, very best that we could.” - Michelle Chalfant   “97% of the time, our assumptions are incorrect.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Things that happened in our past, no matter if it’s a death or someone has done something to us or we made mistakes, it can be difficult to move on, but it’s possible.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When we live in the moment, it’s a much different reality. It’s almost as if the world opens up.” - Michelle Chalfant    “Living in the past is like having an anchor tied around our waist trying to move forward.” - Michelle Chalfant    “What I’m giving you today are ways to move you forward into the moment.” - Michelle Chalfant    “When we don’t feel our emotions around something, guess what? It keeps us stuck.” - Michelle Chalfant    “When we block our emotions, we’re blocking ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant    “Forgiveness releases the hold that the past has on you.” - Michelle Chalfant    “When we get in the habit of going back and beating up on ourselves or being mad about someone else…what we do is we form these neural pathways, and they are not healthy. It’s like we set the roadmap in our brains to go back and beat up on self.” - Michelle Chalfant    LINKS & RESOURCES   Podcast #381: Summer Series: How To Get Rid of Negative Emotions https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/381/    A Guided Meditation for Cleansing Relationships and Cutting Cords https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-for-cleansing-relationships-and-cutting-cords/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Codependency is one of those issues that can often come across as selfless to those around us...in fact, it might even earn us praise because we seem so nice and helpful (although at our own expense).    But what if I told you that codependency was actually a form of control? This episode today was inspired by a very insightful question from one of our listeners who shared his realization that in his codependency, he was being unintentionally manipulative and controlling. He was showing up as the ever-helpful husband, but he was often doing this from a place of trying to get his own needs met (earning his wife’s love, support, etc.). Of course, this was not conscious, and once he had his awakening, he wanted to know how to move forward and learn how to be genuinely helpful and healthy.    Codependency is one of my favorite topics to talk about, and in this episode, I’m giving you five simple steps for what to do next when you find yourself asking, “I’m codependent. Now what?”   Listen to discover: How we improve our relationships with others when we’re codependent Why this is different than intentional or abusive control Five steps to break the pattern of codependency  Why realizing you’re codependent isn’t a bad thing If this is you, the first step is to drop the blame and shame. You weren’t trying to be manipulative; you were trying to survive based on what your programming told you to do. Once you realize this, you can step into a whole new chapter in your life...one filled with healthier relationships and a healthier connection to self!   “We’re controlling and being manipulative from an unconscious place.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We betray ourselves and change who we are in order to make sure other people outside of us are happy and peaceful. That’s how it’s manipulative and controlling.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We need someone who can fact check us.” - Michelle Chalfant   “That’s why so many codependents are so exhausted, because our energy is going out to others all day, every day.” - Michelle Chalfant   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Grief, anger, sadness, fear…YUCK! I don’t know anyone who likes to feel these emotions.    I get emails from you guys all the time asking how to get rid of “negative” emotions like these.   But are these emotions really negative? Or do they serve a purpose in our lives?   While some emotions might feel more unpleasant than others, I personally don’t believe any emotion is negative. All emotions are part of the human experience and carry information for us.   However, they can create negative experiences in life when we get stuck in them.   The problem isn’t the emotions; it’s that we don’t know what to do with them!   In this show, I’m teaching you how to work through the full range of emotions you were designed to experience as a human and how to get unstuck if you find yourself lost in anger, grief or fear.   You’ll discover practical steps for feeling your emotions in a way that allows them to move through you, no matter how you saw emotions modeled growing up.   Listen to discover: Why “negative” emotions serve a purpose in life The messages we receive about emotions as children What causes emotions to get stuck Practical steps to feel emotions and move them through you Emotions are simply energy that moves through our body and creates sensation. And on the spectrum of emotions from love to fear, some feel better than others…but because they are energy, they can ALL move through us (and move through us quickly).   Problems arise when emotions come up that we don’t want to feel. We avoid them and shut them down, which makes us more likely to get stuck in these “negative” experiences.    That's why we have to start going INTO our emotions, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel. When you do this, you’ll be surprised how quickly they move through you...and what powerful insights they might hold for you.   ​​“We’re human, and humans were created to have emotions. We were created to have a range of emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant   “There’s an energy to emotions that rises up and passes through us.” - Michelle Chalfant   “I don’t even like to call emotions on the fear end of the spectrum ‘negative.’” - Michelle Chalfant   “Anger propels us forward.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Energy is always in motion, and emotions are energy.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Something that keeps emotions stuck is a story.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Just let it go and be present with whatever is coming up.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you put pen to paper, you’re tapping into your unconscious world.” - Michelle Chalfant   “There’s power when someone is witnessing what’s going on in our inner world.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If you feel the energy of peace, it's neutral.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Green Chef https://www.greenchef.com/adult50   Use code ADULT50 for 50% off + free shipping   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Our society today is facing an epidemic of anxiety. Despite technology that promises to make our lives faster and easier, it seems that we’re more anxious than ever. In 2020, Google searches for “anxiety” reached an all-time high.   We have to look beyond the diagnosis of anxiety and seek to find the root cause of why so many people are living with such high stress and dysregulation that are creating anxiety. There is something bigger going on here.   And since we’re whole humans, we need to look at the whole picture – mind, body and spirit – when thinking about how we heal and manage anxiety.   My guest on this show, Dr. Ellen Vora, is a psychiatrist who takes a functional medicine approach to anxiety, looking at mental health factors and physical health factors, such as sleep, digestion and blood sugar, that can add up to throw us out of balance and contribute to feelings of anxiety.   She also helps us to distinguish between feelings of anxiety that come from a physical imbalance vs. true anxiety, which comes from our inner compass telling us something truly isn’t ok.   Listen to discover: What's causing our current epidemic of anxiety The connection between sleep and anxiety   Why blood sugar imbalances can cause "false anxiety" The difference between true anxiety and false anxiety  The many reasons for cell phone-induced anxiety  Spirituality and anxiety management  A psychiatrist’s honest opinion about psychedelics, medications and anxiety  We need to start taking a “layered” approach to treating and managing anxiety by looking at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual elements of our lives and how they work together to create stress or health. This hopeful approach to anxiety empowers us all to make choices that support our well-being, even in the face of real personal and mental health challenges.    "I was sort of taking the temperature of our society, and the temperature right now is anxiety." - Dr. Ellen Vora   "False anxiety is anxiety that is not our true essence." - Dr. Ellen Vora   "It's not just one thing that we have to look at." - Michelle Chalfant   "Genes plays a role, but that keeps a lot of us feeling stuck and feeling destined to be anxious....it's more dynamic than we appreciate." - Dr. Ellen Vora   "Our problems, our stressors are still valid. It's just that if we had a snack and our blood sugar was more stable in that moment, we would be more resilient in the face of our stressors." - Dr. Ellen Vora   "Our mind is the consummate meaning maker." - Dr. Ellen Vora   “It’s not like we have to dramatically change everything that we do, but we just want to make informed choices.” - Dr. Ellen Vora   “We don’t get to gluten free or decaf coffee our way out of our true anxiety.” - Dr. Ellen Vora   “I would have my clients sit in their bodies and feel what was going on, and their physical symptoms would start to change.” - Michelle Chalfant   “[Anxiety] is the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant    “It’s our body that’s able to listen and really dial in and tap into a deeper knowing.” - Dr. Ellen Vora   “It’s turning toward the anxiety instead of turning away from.” - Michelle Chalfant    “We reach outside of ourselves to ‘fix us’…and it doesn’t end it. We’ve gotta get to the root.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We need to change our narrative of what is materially possible.” - Dr. Ellen Vora    “We’re never stuck. We are never broken.” - Dr. Ellen Vora   LINKS & RESOURCES    Dr. Ellen Vora Website https://ellenvora.com/   Dr. Ellen Vora Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ellenvoramd/    "The Anatomy of Anxiety" (Dr. Ellen Vora book) https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Anxiety-Understanding-Overcoming-Response/dp/0063075091    The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Do you ever feel like you’re being disloyal to your family for having your own life? Or do you feel like you’re second fiddle to your partner’s parents?   If so, you or your partner might come from an enmeshed family: a system of relating to each other that is based on dependency, guilt, obligation and too much closeness (yes, that can be a thing!).   In today’s episode, I’m bringing back one of your favorite guests, Dr. Ken Adams, to talk about the important topic of enmeshment – and let me tell you, he is SUCH a wealth of knowledge!   When I knew we were bringing Dr. Adams back, I asked The Adult Chair® community what you wanted to know about enmeshment, and I was flooded with questions! So, I used this time with Dr. Adams to ask him YOUR questions – everything from the difference between codependency and enmeshment to what to do if your spouse is enmeshed with his or her family to how to let go as an enmeshed parent.   I know you guys are so excited to have Dr. Adams back and to get your questions answered, and I am too!   Listen to discover: The line between being caring and enmeshment The difference between codependency and enmeshment What to do if you come from an enmeshed family or your spouse’s family is enmeshed How to manage guilt when stepping out of an enmeshed system What a healthy family looks like How different cultural norms can foster enmeshment Tips for enmeshed parents who want to change their pattern of relating to their children or who are struggling with letting go The key to recognizing enmeshment is to understand that it’s a connection bound by guilt. It goes beyond being caring and even beyond being codependent to the point of obligation, anger and being accused of disloyalty if you don’t follow the family system.  These feelings of guilt can make it difficult to set boundaries, but if you stay in your Adult, sit with your emotions and hold those boundaries, freedom – and possibly a much healthier family overall – is waiting for you on the other side. “In those enmeshed systems, dependency is built on obligation and loyalty is driven by guilt.” - Dr. Ken Adams “Autonomy and separateness feel like disloyalty.” - Dr. Ken Adams “Sometimes outsiders are viewed suspiciously, which includes your spouse.” - Dr. Ken Adams “Both partners are responsible for keeping out intrusions”. - Dr. Ken Adams “Sometimes the guilt is a representation that you’re doing the right thing.” - Dr. Ken Adams “You don’t let the guilt stop you from continuing the boundaries in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s really building up self-worth around who am I now…who am I really underneath these masks that my parents put on me.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES   Dr. Ken Adams Website https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/    Episode #256: Understanding Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/256/    Episode #276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/276/    Find an Adult Chair® Coach https://theadultchair.com/coaches/    MORE ADULT CHAIR    The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as humans. Even simple rejections like not making the team or being chosen for a job – things we know aren’t personal – still sting deeply. Why does rejection seem to hit at the core of who we are?   Susan Anderson began asking this question when she went through a personal experience of abandonment. The love of her life left her suddenly for another woman, and although she was a practicing psychotherapist with immense knowledge of the human mind, she still found herself in emotional crisis and doubting herself and her worthiness.    As she dug more into this topic, she discovered that we as humans have a primal abandonment wound – a universal experience that begins when we are born and go from deep union and connection with our mother to a feeling of being separate. This creates deep shame and causes us to search for belonging and worthiness throughout our lives.   And this is why rejection hurts so much: it triggers this deep fear that we might not belong and we might not be worthy.    In this fascinating and important episode, Susan shares her discoveries on the topic of abandonment, why we experience it the ways we do and how a whole host of other issues in our lives can stem from this wound. We discussed why healing abandonment trauma looks different from healing other traumas, the five stages of healing and the tools (all of which are part of The Adult Chair® model) that can heal it.   Listen to discover: The hidden shame we all have and the root of it The different defenses we put up against shame How to raise our awareness to our abandonment wounds Why healing from abandonment looks different from other forms of trauma healing Steps to healing abandonment wounding How working with abandonment wounding can help with people pleasing, codependency and self-sabotage  5 stages of processing abandonment hurt  The primal wound of abandonment is also an opportunity for primal healing. When we learn to love and accept ourselves as worthy and recognize how deeply connected we truly are, we not only heal our abandonment wound, but we can change almost anything in our lives. "The loneliness is sort of a secondary feeling. The primary is the primal fear and the shame of maybe never being worthy of keeping someone." - Susan Anderson   "The personality itself is a defense against the shame." - Susan Anderson   "When we look at a relationship that ends, it is a retraumatization of what we experienced as a child." - Michelle Chalfant   "The history that leads to a strong reaction in adulthood to abandonment could be very subtle." - Susan Anderson   "You have to take this step, and you go through it...The pain is there, but you go through it, and you get to the other side." - Michelle Chalfant   "Your adult self can now develop an intense, loving, reassuring relationship with your inner child."  - Susan Anderson   "It turns this awful emotional crisis that's so painful into an opportunity for something that's probably long overdue, which is self-love." - Susan Anderson   "Doing these steps, you will become an even better, stronger, more self-loving person on the other side of it...even stronger than you were prior to this abandonment wound." - Michelle Chalfant   "The kind of self-love that we're developing is deeper, more mature self-love...the kind of love you give yourself because you respect yourself so much." - Susan Anderson   "We have to stop looking outside of self and turn our attention inward. That's where healing, that's where love, that's where hope, that's where peace, that's where all the things are that we're looking for outside of ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant   "When the adult gets strong and is in command, it limits all of this self-sabotage." - Susan Anderson   LINKS & RESOURCES    Susan Anderson Website  https://www.abandonment.net/  https://abandonmentrecovery.com    "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" (Susan Anderson book) https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Surviving-Recovering/dp/0425273539   Green Chef https://www.greenchef.com/adult50 Use code ADULT50 for 50% off + free shipping   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!  https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

In my 25 years of private practice, the #1 issue I worked on with clients was feeling their emotions.  Whether someone was anxious, reactive and raging or numb to the world, the question they were all asking was, “What the heck do I do with these emotions?” I’ve been there too. And it breaks my heart, because experiencing emotions is one of the gifts of being human.  But the good news is that all of us can reclaim this part of ourselves and learn to feel our emotions. And when we do, it unlocks all kinds of possibilities in life!  In this episode, I’m breaking down why it’s so important that we learn to feel our emotions and some practical ways to do that. I’m also addressing some of the common fears and discomfort around feeling emotions (like, “What if I get stuck in this emotion?”) and helping you understand why this is your birthright – and how it can improve your relationships, your intuition and your life!  Listen to discover: Why it's so important to feel your emotions Why most humans struggle with this Four practical ways to feel your emotions  How to connect with your inner child How to overcome blocks in feeling emotions No one is born without emotions, but along the way, we learn to suppress them – and in turn, disconnect from who we really are.  Feeling emotions is the key to connecting back to yourself and one of the foundational pillars of being a healthy adult. I hope this episode helps guide you back to this essential part of you. "We'd have a completely different world if we were all able to tune into what our emotions are." - Michelle Chalfant "We become whole humans when we feel our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "We're all born to feel emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "When we feel our emotions, it is a gateway into our intuition. We have enhanced intuition when we are in tune with and know what we are feeling emotionally." - Michelle Chalfant "Instead of asking yourself, 'What do I think?" ask yourself, "What do I feel?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Empathy is when we're able to tune into another person and feel what they're feeling. It's a beautiful skill to have." - Michelle Chalfant "Connecting with the inner child is simply activating an energy." - Michelle Chalfant "There's so much power in feeling our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com   The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You landed the dream gig, got the promotion, submitted your book for publishing, had an amazing first date. So, why do you feel so insecure, unsure and even unworthy? Hello, imposter syndrome! Imposter syndrome, or feeling like a fraud, is something that everyone struggles with from time to time — yep, even those super successful people you look up to. It’s that feeling that you don’t really deserve the recognition or opportunities you’ve earned or you worry you’re not really good enough for them. It often sounds like, “If they only knew…” Imposter syndrome can pop up when something good happens in our life or it can hold us back from ever going after our dreams.  In this episode, I’m breaking down exactly what imposter syndrome is, where it comes from and the concrete steps you can take to work through it and overcome it! Listen to discover: What imposter syndrome is Where it comes from Practical steps to stop feeling like a fraud or an imposter Feeling like a fraud is part of the human experience. But because this feeling causes us shame, we hide it and then end up thinking we’re the only ones. It’s time we talk about it openly — and talk about what you can do so it doesn’t hold you back any longer! I hope the steps in this episode are steps you can turn to anytime you feel imposter syndrome creep up.  "If you feel this way, don't feel like you're the only one." - Michelle Chalfant   "It's the feeling that you're a fraud, that you don't deserve compliments, praise or success that you rightfully earned." - Michelle Chalfant   "When we have imposter syndrome, we feel like our success happened by chance or by luck." - Michelle Chalfant   "It's like we're carrying around this big, dark secret that we want no one to know about." - Michelle Chalfant   "It's critical to have self-worth. This is one of the ways that we work ourselves out of feeling like a fraud or an imposter."  - Michelle Chalfant   "When we can become witness to it, we give ourselves another perspective." - Michelle Chalfant   "Don't let your rouge thoughts run your life." - Michelle Chalfant   "When we change our thoughts into positive, conscious thoughts about who we are, it feels better." - Michelle Chalfant   "What we're not great at doing is accepting and owning our accomplishments." - Michelle Chalfant   "These are your accomplishments. They're yours. Claim them. Be proud of them." - Michelle Chalfant   "Self-worth is key to changing your mindset about being a fraud." - Michelle Chalfant   "Self-worth is all about value." - Michelle Chalfant   "Imposter syndrome is much more common than you would think." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Green Chef https://www.greenchef.com/adult60   Use code ADULT60 for 60% off + free shipping   The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ \   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

Cheers. Salud. Skol.    Wherever you are in the world, it seems like alcohol punctuates every celebration.    But have we stopped to ask if alcohol is really good for us? Or have we paused to get curious about why we drink – and when it moves from genuine enjoyment to unhealthy numbing out?   Recently, I’ve noticed more people having conversations about sobriety, from giving up drinking entirely to swapping a few cocktails for mocktails, and I thought it was time we talked about alcohol through the lens of The Adult Chair®.   In this episode, I’m chatting with Laura McKowen, who has written extensively about getting sober and runs a global sobriety support community. She openly and vulnerably shares her story of using alcohol to numb her emotions, why and how she got sober and what her life looks like now.   We talked about how our culture normalizes excessive drinking, all the emotions that come up when getting sober and ways to tell if you might have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. If you’re at all “sober curious,” you’re going to love hearing her perspective!  Listen to discover: Laura's story of getting sober and why she chose to stop drinking How drinking culture normalizes excessive drinking Busting health myths about alcohol The connection between alcohol and anxiety How Laura's life got better when she got sober The way we use alcohol to numb our emotions How to develop a healthier relationship with alcohol, whether you choose to cut it out completely or enjoy it in moderation Like everything in The Adult Chair, we aren’t talking in terms of “do” or “don’t” or “good” or “bad,” but about bringing consciousness into the decisions we make.   My goal for this show is not to tell you to stop drinking, but to encourage you to take a closer look at when you drink, why you drink and how you drink so you can truly live life to the fullest: present, awake and alive!   "I knew I liked to drink a little too much. I loved it a little too much." - Laura McKowen   [When offered a drink after a bad day] "I don't want a glass of wine. I would like to come talk to you about my emotions though." - Michelle Chalfant   "We end up recreating our life in a way that decenters alcohol...my life is still my life." - Laura McKowen   "When you are drinking even a little more than you want to, it keeps you from facing the truth." - Laura McKowen   "Alcohol provides a really great shield to just sort of skim across the top of life." - Laura McKowen   "I was in a lot of emotional pain. I know that's exactly why I reached for alcohol." - Michelle Chalfant   "We don't get away with not feeling things. It goes somewhere." - Laura McKowen   "Shame disconnects us from our humanity and the humanity in other people." - Laura McKowen   "The not drinking wasn't the cure....it was actually connecting with other people in a meaningful way and healing in relationship with people that allowed me to heal." - Laura McKowen   LINKS & RESOURCES    Laura McKowen Website https://www.lauramckowen.com/    Laura McKowen Instagram https://www.instagram.com/laura_mckowen/   "Push Off From Here" (Laura McKowen Book) https://www.lauramckowen.com/books    The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy     MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

There are so many different aspects of being an emotionally healthy adult. We’re complex, connected beings, and our bodies, our minds, our emotions, our spiritual lives…they all play a role in how we feel every day. It all matters! One of the areas we don’t talk about enough is our hormones. Hormones impact SO many of our bodily and mental functions, and we’ve been kept in the dark about them for too long! Everyone deserves to understand this part of themselves! In this episode, I talk to hormone health educator Candace Burch to help us understand all things hormones…and wow, is she a WEALTH of information!  We talk about how hormones impact our lives from our teenage years all the way through menopause, the symptoms of hormonal imbalances and all the related topics when it comes to hormones: birth control, fertility, anxiety, acne, PCOS, stress and SO much more. You will walk away with a much better understanding of the role of each hormone in your body and the empowered choices you have when it comes to balancing your hormones.  Listen to discover: The classic signs and symptoms of hormone imbalances Some of the things that can contribute to hormone balance Hormonal changes you can expect in each stage of life The key female hormones and the importance of adrenal health How to approach hormone testing and replenishment/supplementation The root cause of PCOS This show focuses on female hormones since they are so complex, but I hope it is helpful for all of us to recognize that our internal chemistry and the cyclical nature of our bodies are not to be ignored.  When we learn to work with our bodies, trust our intuitions and get support when we’re feeling out of balance, we can take more ownership of our health through every stage of life. "Painful periods are not normal." - Candace Burch "So many women are not aware of the symptoms or they become their symptoms." - Candace Burch "The whole concept of hormone imbalance is relatively new." - Candace Burch "Ovulation disruption is one of the big reasons people become hormonally imbalanced." - Candace Burch "When you talk about health or hormonal health in any case, it's always about nutrient dense proteins, good nutrition." - Candace Burch "That's key: keeping blood sugar stable." - Candace Burch "There's this inevitable road to hormones shifting, but they shouldn't be shifting like a roller coaster." - Candace Burch "I think a lot of people don't even know how to relax anymore." - Candace Burch "The adrenals are key to everything really." - Candace Burch "There are not a lot of studies with intermittent fasting with women." - Michelle Chalfant "Progesterone is the great balancing hormone." - Candace Burch "Estrogen has so many functions. We need it." - Candace Burch "I'm a fan of hormone replenishment when testing takes place first, in measured doses." - Candace Burch "High cortisol at night is really problematic." - Candace Burch "I think most PCOS is very much linked to insulin resistance and an imbalance of blood sugar." - Candace Burch "Anyone that has PCOS doesn't need to feel helpless and hopeless." - Candace Burch "I think women have to trust their intuition." - Candace Burch LINKS & RESOURCES  Candace Burch Website https://www.yourhormonebalance.com/ Your Hormone Balance Instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourhormonebalance  The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy  Build Your Own Rebalancing Package https://www.yourhormonebalance.com/b-y-o-rebalancing-package?ref=48199-The-Adult-Chair-Podcast  Use code ADULTCHAIR50 for $50 off MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com   The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You see their name pop up on your phone, and you immediately notice yourself feeling stressed. It’s that friend who always seems to be in crisis, who always calls to gossip or vent. We all know that person…many of us ARE that person.  It’s called drama addiction, and there’s a part in all of us that is drawn towards chaos and stress. Sometimes this shows up in big, dramatic ways, and other times, it’s subtler, like our need to always be busy, doom scroll through the news or argue with someone on social media. My brilliant guest today, Dr. Scott Lyons, is a trauma expert who has studied what is really going on in the brain and body when we’re addicted to drama. He breaks down what trauma does in our body, why addiction forms in response and what exactly is happening in our nervous system when we seek out stress, busyness and drama.  Dr. Lyons also helps us navigate situations where others are pulling us into their drama (including news and social media), explaining why we do this, how it affects our nervous systems and the boundaries we can put in place to protect ourselves. This episode is full of major “aha” moments that will help you better understand trauma and how stress affects you, whether you are addicted to drama or know someone who is. Listen to discover: What exactly “drama” is The connection between addiction and trauma Why drama addiction forms and its relationship with the nervous system How social media and 24-hour news has changed our brains and made us more prone to drama addiction How drama addiction affects those around us — and how others’ drama affects our nervous system Steps you can take today to minimize addiction to drama We all unconsciously do the things that make us feel safe, accepted, loved and alive. If we grew up in a chaotic or dysregulating environment, drama feels safe to us, and that’s why we seek it out.  Understanding your nervous system and how your experiences have shaped it is so empowering and will greatly increase your compassion for yourself and others. This show is a must listen!  “We all know someone addicted to drama.” - Dr. Scott Lyons  “The first part of a stress response is a release of endorphins, is a release of pain relief…So, we become attached, dependent on wanting hits of things that give us essentially that constant stream of pain relief.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “In our nervous systems, our exaggerated responses are justified if we’re addicted to drama.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “Self-regulation is the ability to know how much energy, attention and emotion to utilize in our system to properly adapt to a stimulus.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “An addiction to drama looks different on the outside than what it feels like on the inside.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “I’ve noticed with people in my life that are chronically busy, when there’s a space of downtime, boom, it’s filled right away.” - Michelle Chalfant “That tornado of chaos that we all know so well, that we’ve either created ourselves or been pulled into, that is a sad cry for a sense of connection.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “I would think as soon as the internet was created that [drama addiction] became a bigger addiction for most people.” - Michelle Chalfant  “The ways in which media, and social media specifically, operate have replicated the conditions of an addiction to drama, but on an endemic scale.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “We live in a stress economy.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “Negative information — fear, anger, sadness — will be more capturing of our attention than positive news…We are more likely in watching the news to believe bad things will happen to us.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “The most contagious state is a stress state.” - Dr. Scott Lyons “We want the drama.” - Michelle Chalfant “I did so much nervous system work with myself for so many years, and I’m finally in this place of much more balance…now I protect myself from drama.” - Michelle Chalfant “That is the curative to an addiction, and it is belonging. And when we belong to ourselves, we can start to lower the drawbridge and feel intimacy, the safety for intimacy and belonging to other people.” - Dr. Scott Lyons LINKS & RESOURCES  Dr. Scott Lyons Website https://www.drscottlyons.com/ Dr. Scott Lyons Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drscottlyons/ "The Gently Used Human" (Dr. Scott Lyons Podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gently-used-human-with-dr-scott-lyons/id1685789759 "Addicted to Drama" (Dr. Scott Lyons Book) https://www.amazon.com/Addicted-Drama-Healing-Dependency-Yourself/dp/0306925834 The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses topics such as exercise, relationship with food and body image. Though the intent is to promote a conscious and healthy mindset around these topics, please use caution in listening if you have a history of an eating disorder or body image disorder. Summer is here…and with it, thousands of messages about diets, weight loss and fitness.  There is so much pressure from society to look a certain way, and these messages can be so harmful to our mental and emotional health. At the same time, movement and nourishment are vital parts of both physical and mental health, and many people have positive fitness goals for themselves: being able to participate in a sport they love, having more energy to play with their kids or staying active as they get older. We need a more conscious approach to the conversation around fitness and nutrition – one where we learn to tune out the voices of our society and tune into ourselves instead: our why, what we really want and what we uniquely need to be healthy. Brian Keane is a personal trainer who helps his clients approach fitness from a more holistic perspective, bringing mindset, motivation and emotional well-being into the fitness journey.  He realized that clients would come to him saying they wanted their bodies to look a certain way, but what they really wanted was to feel a certain way: secure, confident, peaceful. Now as part of his training, he helps people identify their why, connect to their emotions, evaluate their relationship with food and exercise and look at the whole picture of well-being – sleep, stress, connection, etc.  In this episode, Brian breaks down his holistic approach to fitness, walking us through how to navigate diet claims, find inner strength while remaining self-compassionate, tap into the power of motivation and make small, lasting changes in any area of life.  Listen to discover: What exactly a holistic approach to fitness is How to tell the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger Sorting through diet culture and the millions of claims about the "best" way to eat Building mental toughness while staying self-compassionate  How to find motivation  Why trying to make too many changes over time is counterproductive  Our bodies are part of the self, and all parts of us are interconnected. Our emotional health impacts how we treat ourselves physically, and how we care for ourselves physically impacts our emotional well-being. The key is to find a balanced approach to fitness that incorporates the whole self. Whether you’re someone who can’t wait to get to the gym, someone who wants to start exercising more or someone learning to treat your body more kindly, it’s all about tuning out the noise, the pressure and the cookie cutter images of beauty and doing what works for YOU!  "I help [clients] rewire their relationship with food and rewire their relationship with fitness so that they can take that holistic approach so that it's serving their life and not taking from it." - Brian Keane "Everything that happens to us happens to us for a reason. What's meant for you won't pass you as long as you listen." - Brian Keane "In their mind, they think that if they look this specific way, it will remove this feeling that they have."  - Brian Keane "When you take a holistic approach to fitness, all those other areas of your life can improve." - Brian Keane "It's always an internal job." - Michelle Chalfant "So many of us, we use food to numb out our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "With food being 'good' and 'bad,' that's more a projection that we as humans are putting on the food." - Brian Keane "Your body knows what it wants you to eat." - Michelle Chalfant "It's all about balance." - Michelle Chalfant "Motivation is just a state change." - Brian Keane "Everything is difficult when you try to change it first. But...if you persevere and you're consistent with it and you make it a daily habit, eventually it becomes your new normal, and then it becomes easy." - Brian Keane "Too many changes too soon is a recipe for failure." - Brian Keane "The small things done consistently well lead to extraordinary results over time." - Brian Keane "I don't like that word, 'diet,' but I do like having this goal of just being healthy." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Brian Keane Website https://briankeanefitness.com/  "The Fitness Mindset" (Brian Keane book) https://briankeanefitness.com/fitness-mindset/ "Rewire Your Mindset" (Brian Keane book) https://briankeanefitness.com/rewire-your-mindset/ Crisis Text Line for Eating Disorders https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/eating-disorders/#what-is-an-eating-disorder-1  The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

There’s someone in your life you love, but the relationship just isn’t working.    Despite your best efforts to communicate and try to work things out, nothing is changing. This person seems totally uninterested in listening to you or working on the relationship.   You’ve hit a wall, and the relationship feels stuck.   This can be so maddening, frustrating, disappointing and painful! You wouldn’t be trying to make it work if you didn’t care for this person, but you can’t make them change…and you’re hurting in the meantime.    I hear from listeners all the time who find themselves in this situation, with a romantic partner, a friend, a family member or a colleague. They want to know: How do you approach this with an Adult Chair perspective…not just for the relationship, but for yourself?   In this episode, I’m giving you five steps to take when you feel stuck or at an impasse with someone in your life. These are all things YOU have the power to do, no matter the other person’s response, and they will help you find new clarity, perspective and ideas for navigating this situation.    Listen to discover: A higher perspective on why relationships come and go Five steps to working through a relationship dead end or stalemate The power of acceptance and letting go How to control what you can and release what you can’t How to take care of yourself no matter what happens in the relationship  Relationships can be beautiful, hard and everything in between.    It’s ok – and even expected – that certain people will come and go throughout our lives. Perhaps you’ve learned what you’re meant to learn and it’s time to let go, or perhaps there’s something for your soul to learn by working through this difficult process together.   Whether you want to keep fighting for a relationship or you know it’s time to end it, the steps in this episode will help you stay in your Adult Chair, control what you can, let go of what you can’t and take care of YOU, so you can live with peace and hope no matter what happens with the relationship.   “Have you considered that the reason that you’re with this person…is because you needed to learn, grow, transform or find something about yourself?” - Michelle Chalfant   “Acceptance and liking are two very different things.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you’re able to accept somebody for who they are, there’s almost like a release that happens. There’s a detachment that happens.” - Michelle Chalfant   “People are not going to change until they’re ready and willing to change.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Just because the relationship needs to be shifted, it doesn’t mean it has to end.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We cannot go around our pain. We go through our pain, and we are stronger on the other side.” - Michelle Chalfant    “Emotions are meant to be experienced, felt and processed, or metabolized, through the body and the energy field. And if we don’t build a story around what we’re feeling…those emotions move through us.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Boundaries are not confrontational.” - Michelle Chalfant   “To let go is to truly detach from [the] outcome, and we let go of our expectations as well.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It’s beautiful when we are able to look at our lives and ask, ‘What do I need?’” - Michelle Chalfant   “Relationships can be beautiful, but they can also be really hard…and they can also be somewhere in the middle.” - Michelle Chalfant   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com        The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification       STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

“I’m such a horrible person.” “I can’t believe I did that…I’m so stupid.” “I’m not good enough.”   Do these types of thoughts sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.   As humans, we can be so mean to ourselves. We make a mistake and beat ourselves up for hours. We look in the mirror and are met with a barrage of negative self-talk. Sometimes these thoughts come at us relentlessly, like a flood.   But these thoughts are not the truth about who we are. They come from an inner part or voice inside of us that is actually trying to keep us safe.    And when we have the tools to work with these parts of self, we can stop these critical and ruminating thoughts in their tracks – and transform so many of the struggles that come with them, like depression, low self-worth and overwhelm.   In this episode, I’m sharing the story of a friend who came to me for help with critical thoughts that she couldn’t shake. I walk you step-by-step through the parts work method I used with her and the process she went through that stopped those thoughts almost instantly.    Then, I explain why parts work is so powerful, how it works in our unconscious mind and exactly how you can use it to work with your own critical parts – or any other part of yourself for that matter! Listen to discover: How to stop ruminating and negative self-talk in its tracks The process I used with a friend to help her quiet her critical, ruminating thoughts My own experience using parts work to transform a ruminating thought I was having How to use parts work to transform any part of yourself A step-by-step parts work process you can use anytime, anywhere The amazing thing about parts work is that you don’t have to spend years working with a part or even be in a coaching or therapy session to do this work. My friend’s transformation happened during a casual conversation we had after work. And as I share in this episode, I use parts work when I’m out for a walk or in the middle of the day. This is an empowering tool we ALL need in our toolbox!    At the heart of parts work is giving ourselves what we needed but didn’t get when we were young. As a healthy adult, you now get to be that strong, caring adult for your younger self – and when you do, you will be amazed at the deep inner healing that takes place.   “I started doing parts work when I was 30 years old, and I changed my life.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Not everybody’s visual, so please don’t think there’s something wrong if you [don’t visualize a part].” - Michelle Chalfant   “I always thank these parts because they are doing such a good job at keeping me safe.” - Michelle Chalfant   “This is what I love about the unconscious mind…they pull things out of left field.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you are hearing these voices in your head, the ruminating thoughts, the beating up on self…start asking yourself this question: ‘Who is saying that?’” - Michelle Chalfant   “I really think you are going to be amazed at the different parts of yourself that you will start to discover.” - Michelle Chalfant   “This is how we really experience more of who we are, and this is the journey we are on in order to rediscover and live from our true self.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES   Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634   The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com        The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification       STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

As humans, we all have needs. From the time we’re babies, when we literally need someone to feed us and take care of us, to adults who need connection, safety and belonging, our wants and needs are part of our inner world and part of ourselves.  But somewhere along the way we start to feel ashamed of these needs, believing we’re “too much” or “weak” or too “needy.” But I believe being able to acknowledge and ask for what we need is actually a superpower!  My guest today, Mara Glatzel, is a coach who helps people stop self-abandoning and start taking ownership of their needs. She digs into the many different dynamics of what it means to be a human who has needs and how we can better take care of ourselves as we navigate this world. We talk about the most common human needs, why we tend to judge and suppress our own needs and how it’s when we suppress them that our needs come out sideways (as anger, resentment, unrealistic expectations or disconnecting from self).  Mara shares how to build a practice of connecting with self to check in with your needs on a regular basis, how to reclaim your sense of self if you’ve lost it and how to start validating and taking care of your needs…the true definition of self-care. Listen to discover: Why having needs isn't weakness The two most common reasons people struggle with their needs Some of the most common human needs The difference between having needs and being "needy" What real self-care looks like When and how to check in with self to learn what you need What "self-partnership" is and how you can take responsibility for your needs The Child Chair (or inner child) is where we are connected to our true needs – physical, emotional and spiritual.  As healthy adults, we know how to advocate for our needs by using the power of choice and boundaries to protect ourselves, as well as asking for what we need while honoring others’ boundaries.  I hope this episode helps you start owning your needs as a strength, so instead of shaming ourselves for having needs, we can become people who support ourselves and others in healthy ways.  "The reality is that our needs are a fact and not a flaw." - Mara Glatzel "A need is whatever it is that you require in order to exist and survive." - Mara Glatzel "I think we need training to tap into ourselves so we can identify what our needs are." - Michelle Chalfant "So many of us are working so hard to belong to the world around us at the cost of belonging to ourselves." - Mara Glatzel "Taking responsibility for your own needs is an essential part of self-leadership." - Mara Glatzel "The self-care that we often see and that we're often sold is prescriptive in nature...I have a lot of clients who come to me burnt out on self-care." - Mara Glatzel "When you take a moment and slow down and really tune in and ask yourself, ‘What do I need?'...it changes things." - Michelle Chalfant "It's a beautiful form of self-care to just check in with self." - Michelle Chalfant "If we don't check in, then we might be living our lives on autopilot in so many ways." - Mara Glatzel "I think anything other than a full-throated acceptance of your needs is self-abandonment." - Mara Glatzel "To learn how to be our best advocate and ask for what we need is powerful." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Mara Glatzel Website https://www.maraglatzel.com/  "Needy" (Mara Glatzel Book) https://www.maraglatzel.com/book/  Mara Glatzel Instagram https://www.instagram.com/maraglatzel/  Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Watch any rom-com or fairy tale and they’d have you believe relationships are as simple as meeting someone and falling in love. But is love really all it takes to have a healthy relationship?    Though we often think of relationships as a matter of the heart, the truth is there’s a whole world of chemistry happening in your body and brain that has more impact on your relationship than you realize, such as:   What partner you pick How you bond and attach  What you perceive as threat in a relationship How you respond to stress  The way your mind stores memories  How you view your partner  And ultimately whether your connection grows or dissolves over time   Dr. Stan Tatkin, who looks at relationships through a biological and psychological lens, is back on the podcast this week talking about the relationship essentials that lead to not just long-lasting relationships but happy relationships.    He breaks down what’s really going on under the surface in different relationship situations (like conflict or betrayal), the critical role our threat response plays in building or damaging connection and how to consciously create more secure functioning based on principles like fairness, justice and mutuality.    Listen to discover: The two things that cause relationships to dissolve  How our stress and threat response systems impact our relationships Why our brains "automate" and how to stop taking your partner for granted The difference between attachment and love The importance of "quick repair" in a relationship  How to build more secure functioning in your partnership  The dangers of loneliness and isolation We must have safety in order to have connection. Dr. Tatkin says the goal is to learn how to remove interpersonal stress and feelings of threat in relationships, which lead to not just relationship health but mental, emotional and physical health for everyone in and around the relationship. The next time you meet a new love interest or the next time you and your beloved are having a conversation, don’t just ask how you feel about the situation – also pay attention to how your nervous system is reacting and what your body is telling you. This awareness is key to picking the right partner, creating more emotional safety and building more life-giving, long-term partnerships.  "[One reason relationships fail is] the manner in which all of us will interact when one or both of us is under stress. And this has to do with threat...where our brain changes and we start to, on some level, believe that the other person is not an ally."  - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "Everything is about relationships and how we navigate our way in those relationships." - Michelle Chalfant   "Learning about ourselves is intertwined with learning about another person." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "The only remedy to automation...is presence and attention. We have to build things in that ensure we're in love or in respect." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "When we are in an argument with our beloved, it's so important to give them something while we are in process." - Michelle Chalfant   "Quick repair actually saves us downstream...the smart thing to do is to fix things now so that we don't end up spending all of our time in the junkyard, not living life but sorting out everything we did wrong." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "The main problem with most issues around affairs, cheating is the lying...the biggest damage is the reveal of information that, if I had known, would have changed everything for me." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "Everybody has a different way of determining what is happy for them." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "It goes back to open, honest, raw communication, no matter what kind of relationship you're in." - Michelle Chalfant   "This whole thing about, 'I can't quit you,' isn't a rational drive, but it is powerful as hell." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "The secret to longevity, happiness, mental health, physical health is the presence of at least one secure functioning relationship in your life." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "I think we need to start taking some risks of just inviting people over for dinner or out to coffee or go to lunch...start taking that risk and be brave and start connecting more. We need in-person connection." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Dr. Stan Tatkin Website https://www.thepactinstitute.com/     "In Each Other's Care" (Dr. Stan Tatkin Book) https://www.amazon.com/Each-Others-Care-Relationship-Conflicts-ebook/dp/B0B19FWBXL    Episode #328: Understanding And Improving Your Relationship With Dr. Stan Tatkin https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/328/   Find an Adult Chair® Coach https://theadultchair.com/coach   Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634   Headspace Try it free for 30 days https://www.headspace.com/adult30    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com        The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification       STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

There’s something in your life you want to change. Where do you start?   My friend, business coach and wildly successful entrepreneur, Michael Hyatt, says there’s one thing we can change that transforms everything else: our minds. Our thoughts drive our actions, and our actions drive our results, which is why if we want different outcomes in life – whether in our relationships, our business, our finances or our happiness – we have to start by looking within. In this episode, Michael explains the inner narrator we all have, a part of us that seeks to make meaning of our lives by interpreting and telling stories about the things that happen to us. The problem? These stories are often untrue or rooted in fear, which creates limiting beliefs that hold us back. Michael shares his three steps for working with the inner narrator and how to choose a more empowering mindset that leads to a life of agency, choice and power. We talk about how to get out of victim, why adversity can open up new possibilities in our lives and how to avoid getting sidetracked by triggers, fear and grief while still being radically honest about our emotions and reality.  Listen to discover: ●       Why mindset affects everything about our lives ●       How to reframe our stories and choose more empowering thoughts ●       Michael's three steps to challenging our inner narrator ●       How adversity can open up new possibilities in our lives ●       Understanding intuition vs. fear ●       What triggers are and how not to get sidetracked by them ●       The power of taking breaks ●       Choosing imagination over worry ●       Why failure can be our greatest teacher One of the pillars of being a healthy adult is busting stories and living in fact and truth, which is the key to an empowered mindset. And as Michael shares, even when we have a challenging set of facts, we can still choose the most empowering story for ourselves, reframing adversity and believing in possibilities – and ultimately, in ourselves. "Success begins with your thinking…Getting your thinking right is about 90% of anything. If you have the right thinking, you'll eventually take the right actions that lead to better results." - Michael Hyatt "If you don't like your reality, you have to look at your thinking." - Michelle Chalfant "As long as I was the victim, I was powerless. Once I could stop being defensive and accept the fact that I had agency in the midst of this situation...all the power came back, and it gave me a whole range of options." - Michael Hyatt "Our brains are meaning-seeking machines. We can't live without meaning." - Michael Hyatt "Everything that's happened to you is in the past. You can't change any of it. All you can change is how you interpret it." - Michael Hyatt "The greatest advances in my life have been on the heels of some adversity. I had to have a breakdown to have a breakthrough." - Michael Hyatt "I realized that nothing can trigger me. Only I can trigger me." - Michael Hyatt "Triggers are a gift, because when we're triggered, it's a way for us to uncover an unconscious limiting belief that we have about ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "Stress is antithetical to good creative thinking." - Michael Hyatt "To take a break can be life changing." - Michelle Chalfant "Worry is basically a distortion of imagination." - Michael Hyatt "Experience is our greatest teacher." - Michelle Chalfant "There's no failure. There's only feedback." - Michael Hyatt LINKS & RESOURCES  Michael Hyatt Website https://fullfocus.co/  "Mind Your Mindset" (Michael Hyatt Book) https://mindyourmindsetbook.com/  Full Focus Planner https://fullfocus.co/planner/   Michael Hyatt Instagram https://www.instagram.com/michaelhyatt/  Michael Hyatt LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhyatt   Find an Adult Chair® Coach https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

It’s easy to think everyone processes the world the same way we do. After all, we’re all born with a mind that is here to help us make sense of our human experience. But what if there is actually a huge range of ways we each make sense of reality – and superpowers to be found in our ways of processing the world?   Empaths are people whose nervous systems are wired with the ability to mirror others around them; in other words, they can actually feel the experiences of others in their own bodies. This is a beautiful gift to offer the world – and it can also present its challenges for empaths who might find themselves exhausted or disconnected from self because of the environment around them.   In this episode, the ever-wise Sarah Weiss breaks down what an empath is, signs you might be an empath and steps you can take to find grounding and peace as an empath. We also explore why our culture needs to do a better job nurturing these types of abilities in people and the clues that reality is bigger than just the physical world we can see – from fascinating stories about near-death experiences to the path of a soul’s spiritual growth.   Listen to discover: What an empath is The difference between an empath and a highly sensitive person Why being an empath is a superpower Signs a child might an empath Why we should be cultivating these types of abilities in people How to find more peace if you're an empath The story of Sarah's near-death experience What near-death experiences, dark nights of the soul and plant medicines can teach us As we learn more about consciousness and the complexity of the mind, it’s an invitation into the sacred. Mind-expanding experiences, whether a near-death experience or the way your empathetic brain is naturally wired, give us the opportunity to ask bigger questions about God, soul, the universe and our purpose. The fact that we have the consciousness to ask these questions is a gift – a gift that points to a reality bigger than ourselves.   Let this episode expand your mind and take you on an adventure of asking big questions to understand yourself and the world better!   "You're usually born an empath, and then from the very beginning, you don't understand that you are processing the world in a completely different way than most other people are." - Sarah Weiss   "An empath is someone whose nervous system and brain have a certain physiological configuration...that makes us able to mirror how someone else feels physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually." - Sarah Weiss   "I really believe that empaths are a preview of the future human...it's actually an advanced spiritual quality." - Sarah Weiss   "You do have to learn how to ground yourself and find the definition of your being so you actually have a clear understanding of who you are." - Sarah Weiss   "I just don't see how people can really develop their boundaries without learning about energy." - Sarah Weiss   "There is a wounded child inside most empaths." - Sarah Weiss   "It's not a matter of...'I didn't protect myself enough. I was too overly empathetic.'...Is it just that we just need that alone time to recharge?" - Michelle Chalfant   "I really think that we are severely lacking in the understanding around birth and death and...how important it is to understand, to frame this lifetime, to put it in context." - Sarah Weiss   "There's documented research on [near-death experiences] that's out there." - Michelle Chalfant   "As we develop as human beings, we go through natural initiations...If we were living in a culture that honored and recognized these, then we would derive tremendous meaning from them." - Sarah Weiss   "[The dark night of the soul] is there for a reason, and there are lessons to learn and always something to gain. It's hard though, when you're in the middle of it." - Michelle Chalfant   "I have seen profound healing [through plant medicine]. I've witnessed it... But what's so important is that you do it with a skilled practitioner…The integration is where the greatest healing happens." - Michelle Chalfant   "I think being an empath takes you into the sacred. I think the deep meaning of life gets felt by an empath." - Sarah Weiss   LINKS & RESOURCES   Sarah Weiss Website https://www.spirithealonline.com/   Episode #21: Grounding and the Energy of the Earth with Sarah Weiss https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/21-grounding-and-the-energy-of-the-earth-with-sarah-weiss/   Episode #135: The Enlightened Empath with Sarah Weiss https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/135-the-enlightened-empath-with-sarah-weiss/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com      The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification      STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

I believe that we are born as beautiful, pure beings, connected to God/Source and full of love – our true selves.  Though we never lose our true essence, throughout our lives, we have experiences that wound us and we put on masks to feel safe in this world. This creates a sort of “false self” that covers up who we were really meant to be.  But I believe all of us can reconnect with our true selves – our Adult Chairs – and in doing so, live more authentic, peaceful and intuitive lives. This is the heart of The Adult Chair® model and a conscious choice we must make every day! In this episode, I’m sharing some practical ways you can live connected to your true self, including how to notice and work with the challenges that try to disconnect you from who you really are.  Listen to discover: ●       What connection to self means ●       Why staying connected to the true self is so important ●       The things that disconnect us from our true self ●       The power of feeling our emotions and working with triggers ●       The way our daily choices impact our connection with self As I share in a personal story in this show, there will always be someone or something that triggers us, distracts us or tries to pull us away from ourselves. But staying connected to self is a choice! We can decide that no one will take us away from us. And as always, remember this is a journey, and each moment of challenge is an opportunity to notice where you are on your path and how far you’ve come. You’ve got this! There really is no better way to live. “At the root of The Adult Chair is our true self.” - Michelle Chalfant “Your true self is underneath all these masks, these limiting beliefs.” - Michelle Chalfant “When I’m connected to my true self, I’m connected to my inner compass.” - Michelle Chalfant “When I’m connected with my true self, I have a connection with God, Source.” - Michelle Chalfant “Every time that you sit and work with these triggers and you don’t let them take you down, every time you work with them, that trigger begins to lose its power.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we’re triggered, there’s something in it for us.” - Michelle Chalfant “A trigger is something we carry with us.” - Michelle Chalfant “Holding that connection to the true self, which means staying in our Adult Chair no matter what, is the healthiest place for us to live. It’s the most authentic place to live. And it takes work.” - Michelle Chalfant  “I am not allowing anybody to disconnect me from myself.” - Michelle Chalfant “The world reflects where we are. The world is our mirror.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close Soon! https://theadultchair.com/certification Episode #364: How To Work With Triggers and Parts https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/364/  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Guess what? I got triggered this week. AND I was able to work through the trigger and meet the most beautiful younger part of myself using the tools in The Adult Chair® model. In this episode, I’m letting you guys in on exactly what happened and walking you step-by-step through how I transformed this trigger — and how you can use the exact same process the next time you’re triggered. It all started with a relatively simple interaction with my husband, Graham. Though we didn’t have a fight, this interaction brought up feelings of anger and rage in me.  As I dug into those feelings, I found that a 10-year-old part of me was feeling really scared and unsafe because the interaction reminded her of an unpredictable situation from childhood. And what happened afterwards was SO POWERFUL that it still gives me chills! Listen to discover: ●       What triggers are and where they come from ●       Why triggers are a HUGE opportunity to heal ●       The step-by-step trigger tool I used to transform my trigger ●       A powerful script for working with younger, scared parts of self ●       How working with triggers can lead to healthier relationships The really cool thing is that instead of letting my anger create a fight between Graham and me, we were able to have a really authentic conversation about what happened, and I left feeling seen and supported. This is the power of doing our work!  I wanted to openly share this story to not only equip you with the tools to work through a trigger, but also to show you that the goal isn’t to “arrive” or “stop getting triggered.” The goal is to do the lifelong work of turning inward to get to know and transform ourselves so we can connect more deeply with self and others.  "There are tools within this model that help us to heal and transform whatever is going on in our lives." - Michelle Chalfant "We have so many parts that are within us. So, when you get triggered, remember, it's an unconscious belief that's rising up inside of [you]." - Michelle Chalfant "Triggers are an opportunity for us to see what is unknown within ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "Oftentimes anger and rage...it's a defense against a more vulnerable emotion." - Michelle Chalfant "Our emotions oftentimes are stacked." - Michelle Chalfant "Nobody can make you feel anything. How you feel is already within you." - Michelle Chalfant "Working with triggers is such an important thing to help us to heal and live with emotional balance…Working with triggers is a way to stay connected to yourself." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Are you ready to have all your relationship questions answered by not one, but two couples therapists…who also happen to be a couple themselves?  Linda and Charlie Bloom are psychotherapists who have been married to each other for more than 50 years, and in this week’s episode, they’re spilling all their secrets about how to have healthy relationships – secrets from both their clinical training and their personal experience of building their marriage. This discussion is like getting weeks of counseling in just one hour!  We cover topics like: the role of self-worth in a relationship, how our partners can help us heal childhood wounding, the importance of asking for what we want and need, how to navigate conflict in a healthy way, what to do and not do during an argument, how to repair broken trust, what to do when your partner doesn’t want to work on the relationship and the underutilized habits that create great relationships. Though this is PACKED with information, we don’t just talk about concepts but give you practical advice on what to do in these situations, from how to hack your brain for more productive conflict to how to appeal to your partner’s self-interest to get the relationship you want. Listen to discover: ●       The surprising connection between self-worth and healthy relationships ●       Why some people have trouble receiving love ●       The importance of asking for what we want and need ●       Why we marry people like our parents ●       How to have healthy conflict in your relationship ●       The three words you should never say in an argument ●       How to get out of threat and fear states during conflict ●       What "committed listening" is and how to show up with more presence ●       What is required to rebuild trust when it's been broken ●       What to do if your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship ●       The most underutilized practice in relationships My favorite takeaway from this episode is that the key to having better relationships is believing it is possible. It’s so easy to get caught up in frustration, resentment and conflict and give up on a relationship that has potential (did you know most couples divorce without ever seeking therapy?). But we have so much power in our hands to change the dance of our relationships and make them work.  Though it takes two to tango and some relationships do end, Linda and Charlie give hopeful advice that will help you fight for your relationship instead of fighting with your partner – grounded in their own story of healing conflict and growing their love year after year.  "We can never give any more acceptance and appreciation to somebody else than we can give to ourselves...We can't give that experience of worth to another person if we haven't internalized it within ourselves." - Charlie Bloom "We learn to love ourselves through relationships." - Charlie Bloom "Don't expect [your partner] to know what's going on with you emotionally. That's your job to share with them what you need." - Michelle Chalfant "When I grew some courage and started to ask [for what I wanted], I got loved in the way I wanted to be loved." - Linda Bloom "There's a part of us that I think is innate within all human beings to want to feel whole, to want to feel integrated." - Charlie Bloom "If we can appeal to the other person's self-interest, that sometimes helps them to get over their conflict phobia." - Linda Bloom "One-hundred percent of the time, defensiveness is activated by fear." - Charlie Bloom "Starting a conversation or an argument with 'you, you, you,’ I call it throwing the shield up...That's not a conversation. It's defensiveness." - Michelle Chalfant "A lot of people, they think good communication is required for a good relationship. But they think about speaking. They don't think about the other side and how important the listening is." - Linda Bloom "One of the statistics that breaks my heart is that most people who get divorced never go to one couple's counseling session." - Linda Bloom “If you can respect your partner and what their path is, then all is well.” - Michelle Chalfant  “Of course we’re going to have differences, but they don’t have to turn into arguments and conflict.” - Linda Bloom  LINKS & RESOURCES  Linda and Charlie Bloom Website https://bloomwork.com/  "An End to Arguing" (Linda and Charlie Bloom Book) https://www.amazon.com/End-Arguing-Valuable-Lessons-Relationships/dp/1646638085  Linda and Charlie Bloom Facebook https://www.facebook.com/lindaandcharliebloom Linda and Charlie Bloom Instagram https://www.instagram.com/linda_charlie_bloom/ Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! Use code SUMMER2023 to save $1,500 by April 23 https://theadultchair.com/certification Headspace Try free for 30 days https://headspace.com/adult30  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

One of the things I get asked about the most is how parents can help their children grow up to be healthy adults. How do you set your kids up to naturally slide into their Adult Chair, while they are still literally children and adolescents?  I decided to put myself out there and talk with my son, Blake – who is now a young adult and coaching clients of his own – about his experiences growing up and what he believes is most important in helping kids get into their Adult Chairs.  In this vulnerable and authentic conversation, we talk about both of our experiences during Blake’s childhood, from the work I had to do around my own triggers and codependency to the delicate dance parents need between boundaries and allowing their children to have experiences and make mistakes that shape them. Blake also shares that most of the young people he works with feel isolated and like they’re not enough, leading them to look for external validation. He talks about how, through honesty, safety and unconditional love, parents can help kids navigate the unique cultural challenges of their time and address the most common questions in every human’s heart: “Who am I?” “Am I loved?” “Am I enough?” Listen to discover: ●       The balance between surrender and boundaries in parenting ●       How to encourage your kids to talk to you and open up to you ●       Demonstrating unconditional love, even when you have to discipline your kids ●       The common thing all young people (and humans) struggle with ●       The greatest gift you can give your kids ●       How to help your kids feel their emotions ●       Some of the unique challenges that kids today are facing, including porn and technology Blake was growing up during my years of private practice and working with The Adult Chair® model, so I think this is a beautiful story of what happens when parents and children are willing to learn and grow together.  I’m so proud of who Blake is today, and I hope this encourages you that you don’t have to be a “perfect” parent or have “perfect” kids to raise children who become healthy adults – all you need to do is show up with presence, a lot of love and your own Adult Chair. "Most of the time, people really don't want advice, but what you can do is just offer what you have to say without an expectation." - Blake Chalfant "The culture that we're raising kids in today is scary in some ways. And is not healthy." - Blake Chalfant "We have to surrender, but there has to be a balance of boundaries as well." - Michelle Chalfant "There's a very fine line between things that are gonna really come back to bite them in the ass and then your own projections of how you think they should be." - Blake Chalfant "No one feels like they're enough from a very young age, and we spent the rest of our life trying to fill that void with external validation." - Blake Chalfant "I think that's important too: owning your mistake, apologizing, cause you're modeling that for the kid." - Michelle Chalfant "These beautiful children are with you for a reason." - Michelle Chalfant "You can unconditionally love and support your kids while having extremely firm boundaries." - Blake Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Blake Chalfant Website https://blakechalfant.com/  Blake Chalfant Instagram https://www.instagram.com/blake.chalfant  Blake Chalfant YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@BlakeChalfant11  Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We know that trauma and addiction affect the brain and body in so many ways. But when Dr. Elisa Hallerman overcame addiction and began working with others in recovery, she realized there was something big missing in the conversation about trauma and addiction: how it affects the soul.  This inspired her to create a new paradigm for talking about sobriety called “Soulbriety,” and it’s changing the game for how people heal.  In this episode, Dr. Hallerman shares all about what the soul is and how we can heal it from trauma, how she worked through her pain (and how you can too) and how to navigate a “dark night of the soul” to bring greater healing and wisdom into our lives.  She also talks about the different types of trauma, how they affect the body and brain and what trauma healing modalities are most effective for different situations. This episode is PACKED with practical information about healing trauma and addiction along with beautiful explanations of how our souls work and the journey each soul takes to grow in wisdom and maturity. Listen to discover: Dr. Hallerman's "Soulbriety" method of healing addiction and trauma What the soul is What trauma does to our soul How to create space to go into your soul and do the work One thing you can do if you're in pain right now Why some people are unhappy even if they have "everything" How to find a good trauma therapist The best trauma healing modalities  What a “dark night of the soul" is – and how it can lead to wisdom The stages of the soul journey and how to turn pain into purpose Dr. Hallerman's Recovery Management Agency If you have experienced trauma of any kind or find yourself in a difficult season of growth, this episode will give you hope, a higher perspective and helpful next steps to turn pain into purpose. "I think that everyone has some form of an addiction...We all have that desire to want instant gratification and to want something outside of ourselves to make ourselves feel better." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "I describe trauma as soul loss." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "When we're in pain as humans, the last thing that we typically do is sit, get curious and listen." - Michelle Chalfant "The inner work is really looking at and making what is unknown known." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "Individuals are different, their trauma is different and the way that their bodies and brains interpret that event are going to be different." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "If you have trauma, make sure you are finding the right therapist." - Michelle Chalfant "The dark nights of the soul are the moments in our life where we have to take the time and really have the patience to sit and really alchemize all of that information and that pain. And that is where the wisdom is going to come from." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "What is that piece inside yourself that you haven't yet healed?" - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "When people think we've made mistakes in our lives, it's like 'Are they mistakes? Or can we turn them around and create something beautiful from what we've experienced in the past?’” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Dr. Elisa Hallerman Website https://drhallerman.com/   Dr. Elisa Hallerman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drelisahallerman/  "Soulbriety" (Dr. Elisa Hallerman Book) https://drhallerman.com/soulbriety/  The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant 

Throughout our lives, we hear so many voices of others telling us who and how we should be. Societal norms, our parents, our partners…it can feel like everyone wants something for us and from us.  To cope with this, we develop limiting beliefs, survival strategies and masks that we wear. We start to think these things are really who we are, and they become our roadmap for life…unless we find the courage to look within and discover who we really want to be. In this episode, I talk with fellow life coach and kindness curator, Dr. Jeremy Goldberg, about how we can break out of the boxes that the world tries to put us in, find what we want in life and create a new reality of kindness on the planet. We talk about how to listen to your “heart whispers” instead of fear, what intuition does (and doesn’t) sound like, the role of the ego and the one thing you can do today to break through limiting beliefs. Jeremy is a master of making these big concepts simple through great metaphors and analogies that will help you find more authenticity and peace within.  Listen to discover: How one act of kindness changed Dr. Jeremy Goldberg’s life How to listen to your heart and find who you really are What the ego is + a bigger perspective on life How to audit your life and find your limiting beliefs Choosing wholeness over happiness Being human is hard, and we’re all trying to figure it out one day at a time. When we take the brave step to find our true self, live with compassion and treat our fellow humans with kindness, we not only change our lives…we can change the world!  “I believe that beliefs are choices.” - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg “People may not know who they are, but they do know that they’re not living the life that makes them peaceful. They know that they’re not living from their true self.” - Michelle Chalfant  “We’re all human, and we all have the same exact problems.” - Michelle Chalfant “Sometimes if we’re unclear about what we do want, we can approach that same thing from the opposite trajectory, which is, ‘What do you NOT want?’” - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg “It's really hard to change the picture when you’re living in the frame.” - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg “Heart whispers, and fear shouts.” - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "The mind is really loud. Our brains are megaphones of fear, comparison, criticism and judgment. And so, my advice would be to get still and feel God." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "Intuition doesn't come at you with all this fear and screaming at you." - Michelle Chalfant "It's undeniable that your upbringing affects your life. It affects your nervous system. It affects the way that you see the world around you." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "I think a lot of people chase happiness instead of allowing wholeness." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg LINKS & RESOURCES  Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Website https://www.longdistancelovebombs.com/ Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Instagram https://www.instagram.com/longdistancelovebombs/ Long Distance Love Bombs Podcast (Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Podcast) https://www.longdistancelovebombs.com/podcast  "It'll Be Okay, and You Will Be Too." (Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Book) https://www.amazon.com/Itll-Okay-You-Will-Too/dp/0692624724 The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/  MORE ADULT CHAIR  The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In my 25 years of private practice, the #1 issue I worked on with clients was feeling their emotions.  Whether someone was anxious, reactive and raging or numb to the world, the question they were all asking was, “What the heck do I do with these emotions?” I’ve been there too. And it breaks my heart, because experiencing emotions is one of the gifts of being human.  But the good news is that all of us can reclaim this part of ourselves and learn to feel our emotions. And when we do, it unlocks all kinds of possibilities in life!  In this episode, I’m breaking down why it’s so important that we learn to feel our emotions and some practical ways to do that. I’m also addressing some of the common fears and discomfort around feeling emotions (like, “What if I get stuck in this emotion?”) and helping you understand why this is your birthright – and how it can improve your relationships, your intuition and your life!  Listen to discover: ●       Why it's so important to feel your emotions ●       Why most humans struggle with this ●       Four practical ways to feel your emotions ●       How to connect with your inner child ●       How to overcome blocks in feeling emotions No one is born without emotions, but along the way, we learn to suppress them – and in turn, disconnect from who we really are.  Feeling emotions is the key to connecting back to yourself and one of the foundational pillars of being a healthy adult. I hope this episode helps guide you back to this essential part of you. "We'd have a completely different world if we were all able to tune into what our emotions are." - Michelle Chalfant "We become whole humans when we feel our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "We're all born to feel emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "When we feel our emotions, it is a gateway into our intuition. We have enhanced intuition when we are in tune with and know what we are feeling emotionally." - Michelle Chalfant "Instead of asking yourself, 'What do I think?" ask yourself, "What do I feel?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Empathy is when we're able to tune into another person and feel what they're feeling. It's a beautiful skill to have." - Michelle Chalfant "Connecting with the inner child is simply activating an energy." - Michelle Chalfant "There's so much power in feeling our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild BRAND NEW: The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/  Headspace Try it free for 30 days https://www.headspace.com/adult30  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You just met the new love of your life, and after a season of single parenting, you’re so excited to build a life with your new partner and create a beautiful blended family.  But you don’t just have yourself to think about. Between their kids, your kids, exes and in-laws, forming new bonds and creating healthy dynamics can be, well, complicated. Not only do you want to be a great parent or stepparent to your blended family, but you’re also navigating brand new territory with your partner, from different parenting styles to setting healthy boundaries. Certified Adult Chair® Coach, Amber Jones, has lived this as a mom and stepmom to a blended family of six children, and in this show, she drops a wealth of wisdom on how to create connected blended families from your Adult Chair. We talk about the nitty gritty of boundaries with exes, building relationships with stepchildren, parenting roles, when to introduce your children to a new partner, and how to deepen your relationship with your partner.  And, like everything in The Adult Chair®, we know that the true work happens within, so Amber also walks us through how to work with our own triggers, the importance of self-worth and why navigating blended family dynamics can be such a beautiful opportunity to work on ourselves.  Listen to discover: Amber's story of navigating divorce, dating and remarriage in a blended family of six kids When to introduce your kids to a new partner How to navigate different parenting styles The two most common struggles for blended families   The importance of centering the relationship and the "couple bubble" How to deal with pressures from outside the relationship  How long-term relationships can be a mirror for growth The power of gratitude in your relationship   Tips for increasing connection with your partner Amber is a wonderful relationship coach, and whether you’re part of a blended family, considering dating again, dating someone with children or just looking to strengthen your relationship, kids or no kids, this episode is for you! "We both really believe that the relationship is the foundation of the whole family." - Amber Jones "You have to be a unified front." - Michelle Chalfant  "Your self-worth has to be very intact. You have to know that you're worthy and that your partner loves you and that you're good enough." - Amber Jones "I think that when it comes to exes, it's really the responsibility of the partner whose ex it is to manage and handle the ex. " - Amber Jones  "You've got to be #1 on each other's list." - Michelle Chalfant  "The biggest problems that I see are because of other people outside of the relationship causing issues within the relationship." - Amber Jones "I think there's so much power in those words of just saying, 'I believe you. I believe your experience.'" - Amber Jones "Triggers are a gift because they show us our inner beliefs about ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Amber Jones Website https://www.amberjonescoaching.com/ Amber Jones Instagram https://instagram.com/amberjonescoaching/ Episode #98: Transforming Triggers https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/98-transforming-triggers/  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We’ve all felt it: the extra tense political discussions, the harsh climate on social media and the overall division between people. It often feels like half the planet is living in a different world and we just can’t seem to understand each other. This isn’t just in our heads. Studies show that empathy has declined 40% since 1979, and today, one third of people say they can’t easily see the point of view of somebody else. We have to learn how to listen, hear and respect each other again. The good news is that we can all learn empathy! My guest today, Rob Volpe, has mastered the art of empathy both in his personal relationships and through his work in market research. Since his job is all about listening to people and creating connections, he’s learned to identify the specific attitudes and behaviors that help people hear each other and feel heard – and he’s here today to empower us with five simple steps to building more empathy in our life and world! Listen to discover: ●       What empathy actually is ●       The wonderful things empathy can fuel in our lives ●       The difference between emotional empathy and cognitive empathy ●       What to do if you have a partner who doesn't have a lot of empathy ●       The difference between empathy and agreement ●       Shocking stats about the decline in empathy ●       The factors driving our current empathy crisis ●       5 steps to build more empathy today Empathy is something we talk a lot about but have trouble defining and practicing. We also tend to think it’s a quality someone either has or doesn’t – when in reality, we are all capable of empathy, and we all need to consistently practice our empathy skills. You don’t have to naturally feel the emotions of others to be empathetic. By setting aside our judgments, asking good questions and listening with curiosity, we can stop talking past each other and learn how to really love each other, even when we disagree! "Empathy as it's defined is about connecting with other people on either an emotional or a cognitive level to understand the lived experience of somebody else as if you were them." - Rob Volpe "Empathy is needed for healthy relationships." - Michelle Chalfant "We just want to be seen, heard and know that we're enough." - Rob Volpe "It's not about agreeing. It's about witnessing and really seeing and hearing them." - Michelle Chalfant "One third of adults could not easily see the point of view of other people."  - Rob Volpe "We're living what I call 'chin up'...and when we're chin up and living in the head space, we're ready to defend. We're not listening." - Michelle Chalfant "We just need to take the time to listen to one another and hear what the other person is saying and not be so defensive." - Rob Volpe LINKS & RESOURCES  Rob Volpe Website https://www.5stepstoempathy.com/  "Tell Me More About That" (Rob Volpe book) https://www.amazon.com/Tell-More-About-That-Conversation/dp/1774580896 Rob Volpe Instagram https://www.instagram.com/empathy_activist/ Rob Volpe TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@empathyactivist The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Cheers. Salud. Skol.  Wherever you are in the world, it seems like alcohol punctuates every celebration.  But have we stopped to ask if alcohol is really good for us? Or have we paused to get curious about why we drink – and when it moves from genuine enjoyment to unhealthy numbing out? Recently, I’ve noticed more people having conversations about sobriety, from giving up drinking entirely to swapping a few cocktails for mocktails, and I thought it was time we talked about alcohol through the lens of The Adult Chair®. In this episode, I’m chatting with Laura McKowen, who has written extensively about getting sober and runs a global sobriety support community. She openly and vulnerably shares her story of using alcohol to numb her emotions, why and how she got sober and what her life looks like now. We talked about how our culture normalizes excessive drinking, all the emotions that come up when getting sober and ways to tell if you might have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. If you’re at all “sober curious,” you’re going to love hearing her perspective!  Listen to discover: ●       Laura's story of getting sober and why she chose to stop drinking ●       How drinking culture normalizes excessive drinking ●       Busting health myths about alcohol ●       The connection between alcohol and anxiety ●       How Laura's life got better when she got sober ●       The way we use alcohol to numb our emotions ●       How to develop a healthier relationship with alcohol, whether you choose to cut it out completely or enjoy it in moderation Like everything in The Adult Chair, we aren’t talking in terms of “do” or “don’t” or “good” or “bad,” but about bringing consciousness into the decisions we make. My goal for this show is not to tell you to stop drinking, but to encourage you to take a closer look at when you drink, why you drink and how you drink so you can truly live life to the fullest: present, awake and alive! "I knew I liked to drink a little too much. I loved it a little too much." - Laura McKowen [When offered a drink after a bad day] "I don't want a glass of wine. I would like to come talk to you about my emotions though." - Michelle Chalfant "We end up recreating our life in a way that decenters alcohol...my life is still my life." - Laura McKowen "When you are drinking even a little more than you want to, it keeps you from facing the truth." - Laura McKowen "Alcohol provides a really great shield to just sort of skim across the top of life." - Laura McKowen "I was in a lot of emotional pain. I know that's exactly why I reached for alcohol." - Michelle Chalfant "We don't get away with not feeling things. It goes somewhere." - Laura McKowen "Shame disconnects us from our humanity and the humanity in other people." - Laura McKowen "The not drinking wasn't the cure....it was actually connecting with other people in a meaningful way and healing in relationship with people that allowed me to heal." - Laura McKowen LINKS & RESOURCES  Laura McKowen Website https://www.lauramckowen.com/  Laura McKowen Instagram https://www.instagram.com/laura_mckowen/ "Push Off From Here" (Laura McKowen Book) https://www.lauramckowen.com/books  The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

There is an old Irish proverb that says, “A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.”  While some people thrive in a big group and others prefer to have a few close friends, there isn’t a human on the planet who doesn’t need friends!  But making friends seems to get harder as we get older. Gone are the days of finding a BFF because you happened to sit next to each other on the school bus. Friendship in adulthood takes intentional effort. In this episode, I talk to psychologist and friendship expert, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, about how to create deep, meaningful relationships as an adult. We talk about why love is so much more than just romantic partnerships, how our attachment style impacts our friendships and the “recipe” for a deep friendship.  Dr. Franco shares lots of practical tips on how to feel more confident in social situations, places to make new friends, conversation starters and how to get over the fear of rejection.  Listen to discover: ●       The importance and power of friendship ●       How your attachment style impacts how you make friends ●       How to make friends as an adult ●       The ingredients required for organic friendships to form ●       The "liking gap" and how it impacts the way we show up with others ●       A method for initiating conversation ●       Why you shouldn't fear rejection Though busy schedules, family commitments and adult responsibilities can make friendship more difficult, connection really boils down to two things: repeated interactions and shared vulnerability. When we understand this, along with our own attachment style, we can take conscious steps to find our people – no matter where we are in life. "How we've connected has shaped who we are...then who you are affects how you connect." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Research finds, for example, that even learning about attachment theory shifts your attachment a bit." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Being secure is not about never feeling insecure. It's about having an alternative secure voice too and leaning into or buying into the more secure side of you." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "That's one of my biggest tips when it comes to making friends: assume people like you when it's ambiguous." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "When we really work with our attachment styles, it can really just change the whole way we see the world." - Michelle Chalfant "If you're an adult and you don't have that [infrastructure for meeting new people] anymore, you can't assume it's going to happen organically. You have to try." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Find a community that's going to give you repeated unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "You also have to overcome covert avoidance. And covert avoidance is our tendency to show up physically but check out mentally." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "People are less likely to reject you than you think." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "It's not so much about what you say. It's about the fact that you are opening up conversation." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Rejection is just part of the process of connection." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "I think we need to remind ourselves too that if someone doesn't like us, it might have nothing to do with us." - Michelle Chalfant "I think there are so many ways that sometimes what we think is a rejection, the other person is actually thinking of as consideration." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Oftentimes, it's not about us. It's about something that other person is going through." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES  Dr. Marisa G. Franco Website https://drmarisagfranco.com/ "Platonic" (Dr. Marisa G. Franco book) https://drmarisagfranco.com/about/platonic-the-book/  Dr. Marisa G. Franco Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco/  The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy  HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/adult65 Use code ADULT65 for 65% off + free shipping MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

There are so many different aspects of being an emotionally healthy adult. We’re complex, connected beings, and our bodies, our minds, our emotions, our spiritual lives…they all play a role in how we feel every day. It all matters! One of the areas we don’t talk about enough is our hormones. Hormones impact SO many of our bodily and mental functions, and we’ve been kept in the dark about them for too long! Everyone deserves to understand this part of themselves! In this episode, I talk to hormone health educator Candace Burch to help us understand all things hormones…and wow, is she a WEALTH of information!  We talk about how hormones impact our lives from our teenage years all the way through menopause, the symptoms of hormonal imbalances and all the related topics when it comes to hormones: birth control, fertility, anxiety, acne, PCOS, stress and SO much more. You will walk away with a much better understanding of the role of each hormone in your body and the empowered choices you have when it comes to balancing your hormones.  Listen to discover: The classic signs and symptoms of hormone imbalances Some of the things that can contribute to hormone balance Hormonal changes you can expect in each stage of life The key female hormones and the importance of adrenal health How to approach hormone testing and replenishment/supplementation The root cause of PCOS This show focuses on female hormones since they are so complex, but I hope it is helpful for all of us to recognize that our internal chemistry and the cyclical nature of our bodies are not to be ignored.  When we learn to work with our bodies, trust our intuitions and get support when we’re feeling out of balance, we can take more ownership of our health through every stage of life. "Painful periods are not normal." - Candace Burch "So many women are not aware of the symptoms or they become their symptoms." - Candace Burch "The whole concept of hormone imbalance is relatively new." - Candace Burch "Ovulation disruption is one of the big reasons people become hormonally imbalanced." - Candace Burch "When you talk about health or hormonal health in any case, it's always about nutrient dense proteins, good nutrition." - Candace Burch "That's key: keeping blood sugar stable." - Candace Burch "There's this inevitable road to hormones shifting, but they shouldn't be shifting like a roller coaster." - Candace Burch "I think a lot of people don't even know how to relax anymore." - Candace Burch "The adrenals are key to everything really." - Candace Burch "There are not a lot of studies with intermittent fasting with women." - Michelle Chalfant "Progesterone is the great balancing hormone." - Candace Burch "Estrogen has so many functions. We need it." - Candace Burch "I'm a fan of hormone replenishment when testing takes place first, in measured doses." - Candace Burch "High cortisol at night is really problematic." - Candace Burch "I think most PCOS is very much linked to insulin resistance and an imbalance of blood sugar." - Candace Burch "Anyone that has PCOS doesn't need to feel helpless and hopeless." - Candace Burch "I think women have to trust their intuition." - Candace Burch LINKS & RESOURCES  Candace Burch Website https://www.yourhormonebalance.com/ Use code ADULTCHAIR50 for $50 off hormone testing Your Hormone Balance Instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourhormonebalance  The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com   The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

When it comes to standing up for ourselves and setting boundaries, there are few places where this is tougher than with our family of origin. Family brings a whole different dynamic to the table: our foundational attachments, our childhood programming, group expectations and our natural loyalty to our parents. The most successful and strongest people I know can still fall into old patterns or feel like younger versions of themselves around their parents and family. In this episode, I’m talking to my friend, Rebecca, whose family would often criticize her when she would set boundaries. Despite being a successful adult and parent herself, Rebecca often felt small and at the whim of her parents’ emotions. After a conflict around this issue, Rebecca was invited to a holiday gathering with her mom and dad, and she decided it was time to take empowered steps to change her family dynamics. She turned inward and got clear about what her boundaries were and her plan in case her boundaries were crossed – and she had an entirely different experience at that get together! She connected to a deep sense of self-worth, power and her ability to take care of herself that still radiates from her today. In this show, she’s sharing how she did it using The Adult Chair® model and how you can do it too! Listen to discover: ●       How Rebecca learned to stand up for herself and change her family dynamics ●       The inner work Rebecca did to get clear on her boundaries ●       What an embodied boundary feels like ●       Why taking care of ourselves and setting boundaries can lead to healthier relationships What I love about Rebecca’s approach is she didn’t just ask herself what her boundaries were; she asked herself how she wanted to feel. This helped her stay connected to herself, and it gave her an embodied sense of strength and power.  You can feel her grounded energy just listening to this conversation, and she has so many amazing takeaways to share with us – this one is a must listen! “I didn’t know what a true boundary was before all of this.” - Rebecca “My parents never respected me as an adult.” - Rebecca “If they were happy, I was happy.” - Rebecca “I don’t like labels, but it does help us to understand why people show up the way they do.” - Michelle Chalfant  “I need to take care of myself because no one will take care of me.” - Rebecca  “We can’t set effective, strong, clear boundaries if we don’t know what we value inside and who we are on the inside.” - Michelle Chalfant "No one is going to make me feel any other way than how I want to feel. And if they do, it's not selfish to not want to be here." - Rebecca "I hear someone that is choosing their reality versus allowing others to dictate their reality." - Michelle Chalfant "I have the power to change this. I just have to work. That's the thing – you have to work." - Rebecca "Words are powerful...I want my children to understand your words can take you places and can move mountains and can make you feel amazing, if you know how you want to feel." - Rebecca "Unless you have the energy within, then you can't set a firm boundary." - Michelle Chalfant "What's ok for you doesn't have to be ok for anybody else." - Rebecca LINKS & RESOURCES  The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Our society today is facing an epidemic of anxiety. Despite technology that promises to make our lives faster and easier, it seems that we’re more anxious than ever. In 2020, Google searches for “anxiety” reached an all-time high. We have to look beyond the diagnosis of anxiety and seek to find the root cause of why so many people are living with such high stress and dysregulation that are creating anxiety. There is something bigger going on here. And since we’re whole humans, we need to look at the whole picture – mind, body and spirit – when thinking about how we heal and manage anxiety. My guest on this show, Dr. Ellen Vora, is a psychiatrist who takes a functional medicine approach to anxiety, looking at mental health factors and physical health factors, such as sleep, digestion and blood sugar, that can add up to throw us out of balance and contribute to feelings of anxiety. She also helps us to distinguish between feelings of anxiety that come from a physical imbalance vs. true anxiety, which comes from our inner compass telling us something truly isn’t ok. Listen to discover: What's causing our current epidemic of anxiety The connection between sleep and anxiety Why blood sugar imbalances can cause "false anxiety" The difference between true anxiety and false anxiety The many reasons for cell phone-induced anxiety Spirituality and anxiety management A psychiatrist’s honest opinion about psychedelics, medications and anxiety We need to start taking a “layered” approach to treating and managing anxiety by looking at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual elements of our lives and how they work together to create stress or health. This hopeful approach to anxiety empowers us all to make choices that support our well-being, even in the face of real personal and mental health challenges. "I was sort of taking the temperature of our society, and the temperature right now is anxiety." - Dr. Ellen Vora "False anxiety is anxiety that is not our true essence." - Dr. Ellen Vora "It's not just one thing that we have to look at." - Michelle Chalfant "Genes plays a role, but that keeps a lot of us feeling stuck and feeling destined to be anxious....it's more dynamic than we appreciate." - Dr. Ellen Vora "Our problems, our stressors are still valid. It's just that if we had a snack and our blood sugar was more stable in that moment, we would be more resilient in the face of our stressors." - Dr. Ellen Vora "Our mind is the consummate meaning maker." - Dr. Ellen Vora “It’s not like we have to dramatically change everything that we do, but we just want to make informed choices.” - Dr. Ellen Vora “We don’t get to gluten free or decaf coffee our way out of our true anxiety.” - Dr. Ellen Vora “I would have my clients sit in their bodies and feel what was going on, and their physical symptoms would start to change.” - Michelle Chalfant “[Anxiety] is the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s our body that’s able to listen and really dial in and tap into a deeper knowing.” - Dr. Ellen Vora “It’s turning toward the anxiety instead of turning away from.” - Michelle Chalfant “We reach outside of ourselves to ‘fix us’…and it doesn’t end it. We’ve gotta get to the root.” - Michelle Chalfant “We need to change our narrative of what is materially possible.” - Dr. Ellen Vora  “We’re never stuck. We are never broken.” - Dr. Ellen Vora LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Ellen Vora Website https://ellenvora.com/ Dr. Ellen Vora Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ellenvoramd/ "The Anatomy of Anxiety" (Dr. Ellen Vora book) https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Anxiety-Understanding-Overcoming-Response/dp/0063075091 The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you envy people who can speak up for themselves easily – without stress or guilt? Or do you wish you could go through life with more freedom – not always worried about what others think or if you’re getting it right, being able to make mistakes and move on? If you struggle with perfectionism and people pleasing, this type of life might feel like just a dream. But the truth is that perfectionism and people pleasing are just parts of you – parts that have a good reason for being there. And when you understand how they got there, the role they serve and the attention they need, you can transform them…and live that free, bold, courageous life you long for! In this episode, I’m chatting with life coach Amy Green Smith about her journey of overcoming people pleasing and perfectionism, building self-confidence, learning to speak up for herself and creating a life filled with joy! Amy breaks down why perfectionism and people pleasing are both survival strategies that we learned to keep us safe and how they are connected to beliefs about ourselves. We talked about practical ways to start shifting these beliefs, set boundaries, cultivate more authenticity and boldly stand up for ourselves with kindness! Listen to discover: The root of perfectionism and people pleasing The connection between codependency and people pleasing The situations that can lead to perfectionism The different ways we can experience our inner critic based on sensory processing Practical steps to transform perfectionism and people pleasing Why boundaries matter so much – because our self-worth depends on them! Steps to setting healthy boundaries, with beautiful conversational examples How to cultivate deep, authentic friendships I love the way that Amy connects all of the topics in this episode back to self-worth. Boundaries, accepting compliments and true connection with others are all important because they are part of our self-worth. She also models how standing up for ourselves isn’t confrontational and can be done with radical acceptance…even with people we strongly disagree with. If you’re ready to understand why you people please or why you feel like you have to be perfect – and what you can do to begin to shift these patterns in your life – press “play” now for a fun, insightful show!  "Both perfectionism and people pleasing are symptoms. They're manifestations of a deeper-seated belief about self." - Amy Green Smith "People pleasing is genuinely anytime we are so highly invested in the opinions of other people that we actually shapeshift, twist and contort at a cost to self." - Amy Green Smith "It's rooted a lot in us just genuinely wanting to take care of ourselves." - Amy Green Smith "One of our primary human needs is for one of belonging." - Amy Green Smith "We have emotional feelings that don't feel great, we try to rectify them with physical feelings." - Amy Green Smith "People pleasing is actually a defense mechanism. It's an iteration of our fawn response." - Amy Green Smith "Do not let your silence make you a liar." - Amy Green Smith "Is there anyone that I'm always frustrated with, that I'm always upset about, that I'm building a story about, but have refused to talk to them about it? That is usually a people pleasing dynamic that's happening." - Amy Green Smith "Boundaries can be set with anger and rage...[but] they're not healthy boundaries." - Michelle Chalfant "If it's worth complaining about, then it's probably worth taking action on." - Amy Green Smith "Every time you choose to silence yourself...you send a subconscious message to your mind that your wants, opinions and needs just don't matter as much as someone else's." - Amy Green Smith "You can respect one another without agreeing." - Amy Green Smith "You don't have to agree. Just respect me." - Michelle Chalfant "You can have two completely different opinions about something and still be in relationship with that person." - Michelle Chalfant "It's hard for us to actually be with the goodness in our life." -  Amy Green Smith "The receiving piece is huge." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Amy Green Smith Website https://amygreensmith.com/ Amy Green Smith Instagram https://instagram.com/heyamygreensmith The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You landed the dream gig, got the promotion, submitted your book for publishing, had an amazing first date. So, why do you feel so insecure, unsure and even unworthy? Hello, imposter syndrome! Imposter syndrome, or feeling like a fraud, is something that everyone struggles with from time to time — yep, even those super successful people you look up to. It’s that feeling that you don’t really deserve the recognition or opportunities you’ve earned or you worry you’re not really good enough for them. It often sounds like, “If they only knew…” Imposter syndrome can pop up when something good happens in our life or it can hold us back from ever going after our dreams. In this episode, I’m breaking down exactly what imposter syndrome is, where it comes from and the concrete steps you can take to work through it and overcome it! Listen to discover: What imposter syndrome is Where it comes from Practical steps to stop feeling like a fraud or an imposter Feeling like a fraud is part of the human experience. But because this feeling causes us shame, we hide it and then end up thinking we’re the only ones. It’s time we talk about it openly — and talk about what you can do so it doesn’t hold you back any longer! I hope the steps in this episode are steps you can turn to anytime you feel imposter syndrome creep up. "If you feel this way, don't feel like you're the only one." - Michelle Chalfant "It's the feeling that you're a fraud, that you don't deserve compliments, praise or success that you rightfully earned." - Michelle Chalfant "When we have imposter syndrome, we feel like our success happened by chance or by luck." - Michelle Chalfant "It's like we're carrying around this big, dark secret that we want no one to know about." - Michelle Chalfant "It's critical to have self-worth. This is one of the ways that we work ourselves out of feeling like a fraud or an imposter." - Michelle Chalfant "When we can become witness to it, we give ourselves another perspective." - Michelle Chalfant "Don't let your rouge thoughts run your life." - Michelle Chalfant "When we change our thoughts into positive, conscious thoughts about who we are, it feels better." - Michelle Chalfant "What we're not great at doing is accepting and owning our accomplishments." - Michelle Chalfant "These are your accomplishments. They're yours. Claim them. Be proud of them." - Michelle Chalfant "Self-worth is key to changing your mindset about being a fraud." - Michelle Chalfant "Self-worth is all about value." - Michelle Chalfant "Imposter syndrome is much more common than you would think." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

At the start of a new year, we all wonder what the year will hold for us. Even with the resolutions and intentions we set, there’s also that element of uncertainty around the things we can’t control. What will come our way? What will shift for us? This goes beyond just us as individuals. Our planet also goes through shifts and transitions with the rhythms of nature and the universe – and on this show, I’m talking with astrologer Rachel Lang to learn more about what might be coming for all of us here on earth in 2023 and beyond. Before giving her predictions for 2023, Rachel breaks down what astrology is and why it’s so much more than what many people think. She helps demystify some of the thought processes and patterns behind it and explains some of the shifts that could be coming in the universe. And, to help illustrate just how complex and deep astrology charts can be, I’m putting myself out there and letting her read my chart on air. Curious to find out what might be going on in my life this year? Listen to find out! Listen to discover: What astrology is and what it is not Why it’s much more in depth than birth dates and horoscopes What an astrology chart even is Some of the things happening on the planet in 2023 and beyond A real-time reading of Michelle’s chart for 2023 Astrology is much deeper than just your birthday or your horoscope in the newspaper. It’s about the rhythms of nature and the patterns we see in the heavenly bodies – and what that can mean for trends in the universe and in each of our lives. Whether you love astrology or are a self-proclaimed skeptic, this episode will give you some interesting things to consider and some insights into what this year might hold for you. “Any time we open ourselves up, we have the opportunity to really help others.” - Rachel Lang “It is the least woo woo of all the things that are considered woo.” - Rachel Lang “It’s a study of archetypes.” - Rachel Lang “Everything has some kind of symbolic resonance.” - Rachel Lang “You can use astrology for just about everything.” - Michelle Chalfant “If we would work with the cycles of nature instead of against them, then I think personally we wouldn’t have a lot of the problems that we have right now.” - Rachel Lang “Everything affects everything else.” - Rachel Lang “It’s about space, but ultimately, it brings us to a place of presence on the earth.” - Rachel Lang  LINKS & RESOURCES Rachel Lang Website https://rachellangastrologer.com/  Episode #94: An Astrologer's View of New Year Transitions with Rachel Lang https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/94-an-astrologers-view-of-new-year-transitions-with-rachel-lang/ The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification  STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Journaling is truly a self-discovery tool. It helps us to find who we really are – what we want, what we value and what we feel – underneath the false self. In fact, “journal” and “journey” come from the same root word. To journal is like taking a journey into the self! Journaling is one of my go-to practices for transformation. It’s so powerful for learning more about yourself, processing your emotions, getting things off your chest, finding clarity and getting unstuck in life. And it’s totally free to do! What’s not to love? In this episode, I’m giving you the scoop on the powerful ways journaling works to get you into the flow state and uncover deeper knowledge and answers about yourself and your life. You’ll get tips for how to start a journaling practice and how to get the words flowing, even if you don’t feel like a writer or aren’t sure what to write. Listen to discover: Powerful reasons to journal Why journaling is such an important tool for transformation The different ways you can journal How to start journaling, even if you’re not sure what to write Having a journal is like having a best friend who listens to you without judgment. It’s a place to process your inner world, move stuck energy and gain clarity and answers about yourself and your direction in life. Tune in to learn how to get started with this powerful practice today! “The journaling prompt will take you on a deep dive into the self to help you get clearer about who you are.”  - Michelle Chalfant “It is such an incredible way to discover who you really are.” - Michelle Chalfant “Journaling is a self-discovery process.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you feel really emotional about something, you can journal about it.” - Michelle Chalfant “Journaling can be almost like a best friend.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we journal, it’s an energy. It actually is moving us forward in life.” - Michelle Chalfant “Anything that resonates with you, do it. Experiment.” - Michelle Chalfant “Journaling is a gateway.” - Michelle Chalfant “Anything that comes to your mind – anything at all – start there.” - Michelle Chalfant “There is no right or wrong when you journal.” - Michelle Chalfant “The prompt begins your journey.” - Michelle Chalfant “You will find direction and guidance through journaling.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Free 2023 Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/journal MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges. Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation. Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It’s not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us. In this episode, I’m sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life! Listen to discover: What self-validation is and why it’s important The connection between self-validation and self-worth What self-validation looks like in real life Steps to starting a practice of self-validation The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging No one can make us feel or believe something we don’t believe about ourselves. So, if we don’t have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It’s an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up. That’s why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love. “Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant “Self-validation is when we notice what we’re doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation.” - Michelle Chalfant “Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s your job to share with others what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts January 1! https://theadultchair.com/journal MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Whether you love manifesting or you’re still a little skeptical, I want you to consider one thing: if the Law of Attraction really is a law of nature, like gravity, is it possible that it is working in your life whether you know it or not? Is it possible that your unconscious beliefs are shaping your reality in ways you don’t realize – or want – simply because you haven’t chosen another way of thinking? This was the reality of Dr. Joe Vitale’s life when he was homeless and living on the floor of the Dallas library. A lifelong learner with a love for books, he would spend hours in the self-development section, trying to figure out what was keeping him stuck in life. He realized he was carrying a tremendous amount of limiting beliefs, including the belief that he needed to suffer to be successful, and these beliefs were the very reason he was in the circumstances he was in. As he changed his beliefs, he changed his entire life from his finances to his career, and today he’s a wildly successful author, actor, musician and guru on the Law of Attraction – and I was so honored to speak with him on today’s show. Dr. Joe helps explain the Law of Attraction and how it works on a practical level, showing how what we focus on is what we get, and walks us through a beautiful Hawaiian process for healing ourselves and those around us. I asked him all the tough questions and got all of the answers for you, so you can look at this concept through a new lens and start creating the life you want! Listen to discover: How Dr. Joe went from being homeless to being a wildly successful author, actor and musician – just by shifting his beliefs Where to start getting the life you want What the law of attraction is and why it can work for you (even if you don't think so) The importance of choosing love instead of fear for creating the life you want Why your unconscious beliefs make all the difference in manifestation The power of the ho'oponopono prayer and how to use it At the end of the day, the Law of Attraction is based on the idea that we see and get more of what we focus on. Wouldn’t you rather focus on love than on fear or hate, no matter what – and especially if doing so was directly connected to the reality you were living? This is an awesome show to help you get started on that path and begin to see that miracles ARE possible! “The inner work is what got me here.” - Dr. Joe Vitale “In order to change the outside reality, you gotta go inside.” - Michelle Chalfant “You’re not purposely, consciously choosing most of these beliefs. Most of them you’ve absorbed.” - Dr. Joe Vitale “The ‘how’ is the number one thing that stops people.” - Dr. Joe Vitale "Fear and hate are two of the most powerful manifesting emotions that there are." - Dr. Joe Vitale "Emotion is fire for creating what you want." - Dr. Joe Vitale "The law of attraction is how your brain works. It is bringing to you what you're focused on." - Dr. Joe Vitale “I love working with the unconscious mind because that is where, to me, the magic is." - MIchelle Chalfant “It seems to me the only limits we have are mental constructs.” - Dr. Joe Vitale LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Joe Vitale Website https://joevitale.com/ Zero Limits Living (Joe Vitale TV Show) https://zerolimitslivingtv.com/ “Zero Limits” (one of many Joe Vitale books) https://www.amazon.com/Zero-Limits-Secret-Hawaiian-System/dp/0470402563 “Homeless to Billionaire” (Andres Pira with Dr. Joe Vitale book) https://www.amazon.com/Homeless-Billionaire-Principles-Attraction-Opportunity/dp/1946633860 Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts January 1! https://theadultchair.com/journal MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

It’s that time of year again…the holidays are here, and with them come all the delicious food and treats. I’m ALL about treating ourselves and eating for enjoyment, but there can also come a point where it’s no longer fun. You probably know the feeling: the sugar crash, the sluggishness, the fatigue, maybe even body aches or indigestion or mild depression. It turns out there’s a reason behind this: what we eat is deeply connected to our brain chemistry, our hormonal balance and our mental and emotional health. And it’s different for everyone. On the show today, I talked to functional medicine nutritionist Andrea Nakayama about the connection between nutrition and mental health and how we can make mindful choices that support our health and happiness this holiday season. We talked about understanding our food triggers and our inherited beliefs about food and our bodies, the way sugar affects our brain chemistry, the root causes of chronic disease and why understanding your unique makeup and your story is critical to making conscious nutrition decisions. This is a fascinating conversation about how nutrition can actually affect our psychology and how we can develop holistic, sustainable habits that are rooted in a deep connection to self. Listen to discover: What functional medicine is & the role of a functional medicine nutritionist in overall health Understanding our inherited beliefs about food and the reasons why we eat the way we do Raising awareness to our food triggers The role of sugar in our brain chemistry and psychology The three roots of any chronic condition Ways to enjoy sugar or sweetness without negatively impacting your hormones or brain chemistry Epigenetics and its connection to disease that can trigger mental health issues Why it's so important to enjoy our food To be 100% clear, this episode is not about labeling food as good or bad or about how our bodies look. It is about understanding how our brains and bodies FEEL when we eat. We were made to eat and enjoy food! And true enjoyment comes when – like everything else in The Adult Chair® – we stay connected to ourselves, bring things into awareness, live embodied and make conscious choices that support our health – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. "Everything is connected, we are all unique and all things matter." - Andrea Nakayama "There's never one root cause." - Andrea Nakayama "Systems biology tells us that everything in the body is connected, the psychology is connected to the physiology, the gut/brain, the gut/hormones, the detoxification and the hormones...it's all connected." - Andrea Nakayama "We have to remember that we are our best judge, we need to tune into ourselves, what do we need intuitively." - Michelle Chalfant "Understanding all of that, your relationship to your body and the way you eat, is a critical part of the equation." - Andrea Nakayama "There are reasons we may be eating sugar or consuming sugar that feel like they're about regulating things, when they may be contributing to a dysregulation." - Andrea Nakayama "There's nothing good or bad about the food." - Andrea Nakayama "It's not about the food. It's about the food and you." - Andrea Nakayama "No two people are the same." - Michelle Chalfant "We've got to pay attention to our moods…what happens to ourselves, to our emotional state, our mental state, when we are eating these foods." - Michelle Chalfant "I think one of the mistakes is the elimination, elimination, elimination, elimination of food without the internal physiological healing." - Andrea Nakayama "Sugar is like the band aid that gives us the quick feeling of, 'Now I'm boosted," or 'Now I'm motivated,' but it's not the long-term solution." - Andrea Nakayama "It's kind of remarkable to me how complicated the relationship with food has gotten." - Andrea Nakayama "There's so much trauma that's influencing chronic health concerns." - Andrea Nakayama LINKS & RESOURCES Andrea Nakayama Website https://www.andreanakayama.com/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close December 16, 2022! https://theadultchair.com/certification Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts January 1! https://michellechalfant.com/journal/ Episode #237: Healthy & Balanced Eating During the Holidays with Jessi Jean https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/237/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Resistance. Like gravity, it’s such a common part of the human experience that few of us stop to acknowledge it, but it’s a force that exists in all of our lives. It’s in the fear that pops up when we go to move forward in life. It’s in the inner critic, the imposter syndrome and the voice telling us we can’t. It’s in the writer’s block, the snooze button, the procrastination and the distraction. It’s the force that pushes against our creativity and our efforts – especially the big dreams that are part of our soul’s mission – and none of us is immune to it (nope, not even the greats in their fields). The people who accomplish great things aren’t people who don’t experience resistance; they’re the ones who can recognize it and choose to act anyway. I was so honored to have one of my favorite authors, Steven Pressfield, on the show to talk about the dynamics of resistance in our lives. As a writer, Steven understands this force intimately, and some of his most famous work, like “The War of Art,” has focused on the topic of resistance: what it is, where it comes from and how we can stare it in the face and move forward anyway. In this episode, he shares his own 27-year journey of working with his ego to publish his first book, what he’s learned along the way and how he continues to dance with resistance to pursue his soul’s calling. Listen to discover: What resistance is and where resistance comes from How to take action even with resistance (and why we shouldn't expect resistance to just "go away") The many different forms resistance can take How to work with resistant voices like the inner critic The mindset of an amateur vs. a pro (and how you can start thinking like a pro from the start) How to handle rejection and failure and get back up again The danger in resistance is failing to recognize it. It’s so easy to listen to that negative inner voice and truly believe that something is too hard and we shouldn’t do it. By naming resistance and even listening to what it’s trying to tell us, we can begin to separate our calling from our egoic fears and make the conscious choice to act anyway. When we do, we might realize it’s not nearly as hard as we thought it would be. "When I would hear those voices trying to distract me or those voices telling me I'm unworthy, I would say to myself, 'Well, that's not me talking. Those aren't my thoughts. That's resistance.’" - Steven Pressfield "I'm convinced that resistance is a force of nature." - Steven Pressfield "No matter what your passion is, resistance is going to pop up." - Michelle Chalfant "When you feel massive resistance to something, you know that's the thing you gotta do." - Steven Pressfield "The more resistance you have, the more in line with your soul's mission that you are." - Michelle Chalfant "The bigger the dream, the bigger the resistance." - Steven Pressfield "We will think, 'Well, let me wait until the fear goes away and then I'll do it.' But the reality is that the fear never goes away." - Steven Pressfield "Once you take action, resistance will recede." - Steven Pressfield "Resistance has no strength of its own." - Steven Pressfield "Resistance takes the form of a voice in your head. And the mistake we make...is we think it's our voice." - Steven Pressfield "You certainly cannot argue with resistance. The only way is to dismiss it." - Steven Pressfield "The ego, it's based in fear. It's trying to protect us on some level." - Michelle Chalfant "When we build something big and we're here to help others, resistance is gonna pop up and rejection and failure. It's gonna happen. You keep going anyway." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES Steven Pressfield Website https://stevenpressfield.com/ Steven Pressfield Instagram https://www.instagram.com/steven_pressfield/ "The War of Art" (Steven Pressfield book) https://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Through-Creative-Battles/dp/1936891026  "Govt Cheese" (Preorder: new Steven Pressfield book) https://store.stevenpressfield.com/product/govt-cheese-signed-copy/  2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close December 16, 2022! https://theadultchair.com/certification Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts in January! https://michellechalfant.com/journal/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When we face challenges in life (and we all do), it can feel like the whole world is against us. Whether we blame ourselves or others for our problems, it’s natural to think of our struggles as weakness. But what if the challenges in our lives are actually a doorway to our strengths? What if they give us the opportunity to build resilience and uncover our superpower – the unique way we’re meant to make a difference in the world? Amberly Lago is living proof that our struggles can become our strengths. After building a career in dance and fitness, her life dramatically changed when she was hit by an SUV while riding her motorcycle. In an instant, she went from having a full, active life to undergoing 34 surgeries, spending six years in and out of the hospital, almost losing her leg and living in constant pain. She had every reason to be discouraged, to believe her life was over and to feel like a victim. But instead, she tapped into her “why” and chose to live a life of victory – and today, she is a wildly successful coach and motivational speaker who helps others find their superpowers in the midst of life’s difficult times. In this powerful and inspiring conversation, Amberly and I talk about falling and getting back up again, how to find your superpower and how to overcome blocks, fears and dead ends in life so you can thrive! Listen to discover: Amberly's powerful story of overcoming challenges and building her resilience Simple, powerful habits that can pull us out of negativity and depression The power of resilience How to find your superpower What to do when you feel stuck, blocked or at a dead end in life How to take the first step right now, even if you feel blocked or scared It’s so easy to hear an inspiring story like Amberly’s and think she must have special superpowers, but the truths of her experience are universal. We all face challenges, and we all get to choose whether we will let them overwhelm us or we will overcome them. We all run into fear, blocks and resistance, and we all get to choose to pursue our purpose anyway. You have everything you need within you to face whatever life throws your way, and I hope this episode inspires you to keep going and encourages you that the difficult moments of life can be turned into superpowers! "I think to really thrive and to tap into your superpower of resilience and thrive, sometimes it is so super simple of just getting back to basics." - Amberly Lago "Gratitude is alchemy." - Amberly Lago "I think that when we start asking ourselves the right questions – like 'Why?' 'What is your why?' 'What is your purpose?' – we can get through the hows." - Amberly Lago "I really, truly believe that the human spirit is powerful beyond measure." - Amberly Lago "Success is built on relationships, and proximity is power." - Amberly Lago "I don't rely on motivation. I rely on resilience." - Amberly Lago "When we read, we learn about the world, we learn about other people. But when we write, we learn about ourselves."  - Amberly Lago "[When we journal] it's like we discover what's on the inside." - Michelle Chalfant "It's normal to feel scared. That means you're doing something really important." - Amberly Lago "So much of it is mental and emotional work...It takes practice." - Michelle Chalfant "I have learned to talk to myself instead of listen to myself." - Amberly Lago "Everybody has resistance that pops up." - Michelle Chalfant "You don't quit on yourself." - Michelle Chalfant "If you can't say that you need help, reach out and see how you can be of service to somebody." - Amberly Lago LINKS & RESOURCES Amberly Lago Website https://amberlylago.com/ Amberly Lago Instagram https://www.instagram.com/amberlylagomotivation/ Free Download: How To Tap Into Your Superpower of Resilience and Thrive Text GRIT to 818-214-7378 "True Grit and Grace" (Amberly Lago book) https://www.amazon.com/True-Grit-Grace-Turning-Tragedy/dp/1683506235 Episode #202: Turning Tragedy Into Triumph with Amberly Lago https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/202/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close December 16, 2022! https://theadultchair.com/certification Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts in January! https://michellechalfant.com/journal/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

All of us have an inner critic – the part that reminds us of our limits and our failures and tries to “keep us in line.” It’s that voice inside your head that can be critical, judgmental and even mean. Though it’s just one part of who we are, the inner critic is one of those parts that can be especially painful and stressful to deal with. Not only does the inner critic impact our sense of self-worth, but it also keeps us stuck and small in life (although it thinks it’s keeping us safe). We will often find this part standing between us and the dreams that are in our heart, telling us all the reasons why we can’t or shouldn’t. That is what Adult Chair® Coach Jenny Jansen encountered when she was considering joining The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. She knew her heart was telling her to take the leap, but her inner critic dialed the volume up and tried to keep her stuck in fear. In this episode, Jenny tells the story of how she used The Adult Chair® to work with and transform her inner critic and how that was the first step toward living a life where she feels purposeful, energized and successful. Jenny shares a detailed example of doing her own parts work, helping illustrate what this work looks like in real life and how transformational it is. Listen to discover: How Jenny transformed her inner critic from her Adult Chair The tools Jenny used to work with her inner critic A beautiful parts work example from Jenny’s work How Jenny overcame her fears about The Adult Chair Coaching Certification and became an amazingly successful coach As Jenny worked with her inner critic, she discovered that underneath the blame and shame it was throwing her way was fear. This is usually the case for our Adolescent parts – they are afraid and want to keep us safe. When we turn towards them with our healthy Adult voice and let them know they’re ok, they transform. Jenny’s story is a powerful example of how the goal is not to get rid of parts of ourselves but rather to integrate them into our whole self, with our healthy Adult in charge. “I feel like my inner critic was born when I was born.” - Jenny Jansen “When I turned toward it, I realized there was so much fear underneath.” - Jenny Jansen “The more you turn away from that voice, it gets louder.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we’re able to turn toward those parts and get to know them, they morph.” - Michelle Chalfant “A lot of times, we mix up feeling safe with feeling familiar.” - Jenny Jansen “What is it going to take to move your body path in line with your soul path?” - Jenny Jansen “When we take these risks and work with these inner parts and walk through our fears, we become more authentic. We live more from our true self, our true essence, and we have an experience of it.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Jenny Jansen Website https://www.trueconsciousliving.com/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close December 16, 2022! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

It’s that time of year again…the holidays are officially upon us! This is a happy time, but it can also be really triggering…especially for those of us who struggle with people pleasing and codependency. This time of year puts us around more people than usual, and more demands are placed on us during this time…a combo that is like kryptonite for those who are addicted to other people. No wonder the holidays are so exhausting! On today’s show, I’m helping you figure out how to stay in balance this holiday season, with practical steps you can take today (yes, before the first family gathering even begins!). We’re talking about how to catch ourselves when we’re getting pulled into others’ wants, needs and demands; 3 tips to connect back to self and how to set boundaries – with scripts for common, uncomfortable holiday situations. This is not about healing this tendency overnight, but it is possible to get activated less, even over the next four weeks of the holiday season. And with time, these practices can totally transform you out of people pleasing and codependency…and into a life of peace! Listen to discover: Why the holidays can be such an exhausting time for people pleasers and codependents What codependency is How to bring people pleasing and codependency into balance Three practices you can use to avoid exhaustion this holiday season (and how to implement them in tangible ways) Boundary scripts for holiday gatherings The tricky thing about people pleasing and codependency is that they make us so focused on others that we might not even know we have these habits! If you’re always exhausted and you don’t know why, take a look around and ask if this could be you. As I share in this episode, the first step towards healing this is awareness, so why not try the steps and see how you feel when you do? This might just be your best holiday ever! “I don’t believe that we can ‘heal’ or transform our codependency in just a few short weeks…but you can begin the journey of transforming these habits.” - Michelle Chalfant “What we really want to do is rewire the brain for balance.” - Michelle Chalfant “Codependency, it’s an addiction.” - Michelle Chalfant “We’re just living our lives exhausted and putting our attention outside of self.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s really about connecting back to you.” - Michelle Chalfant “We are doers instead of just being and being ok with self.” - Michelle Chalfant “I’m not suggesting that you stop being a caring person. What I am suggesting is that you start with you first.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s going to feel uncomfortable, but this is where the rewiring of our brains begins…It’s beautifully uncomfortable.” - Michelle Chalfant “The practices are going to change how you act and react and respond.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you practice these things I just mentioned to you, boundaries become easier.” - Michelle Chalfant “[Boundaries are] sharing with others what I feel and what I need.” - Michelle Chalfant “Boundaries are your right.” - Michelle Chalfant “The authentic you is in there. It’s just covered up. This is how you uncover and discover the true, authentic you.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now! https://theadultchair.com/certification Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all know the feeling: someone says or does something, and we feel our heart rate go up, the heat rise in our body, and the anxiety or anger take over. We just got triggered! A trigger is an emotional reaction that we have to someone else’s words or actions. They often catch us off guard and can flood us with “negative” emotions, and if we’re not being conscious, our first reaction is usually to blame the person who triggered us. But triggers aren’t about others; they’re always about us! And after years of working with my own, I can honestly say that triggers are a GIFT! Triggers reveal unconscious beliefs to us – limiting, untrue beliefs that shape our reality and hold us back in life – and give us a chance to heal them. When we have the tools to work through them, we can harness the healing and awareness they hold for us instead of shoving them down, spiraling into negativity or lashing out at others. In this episode, I’m giving you the scoop on what triggers are, how they form and what they can tell us about ourselves, plus my go-to, hands-on steps for working with them. Listen to discover: What the heck a trigger is – and why triggers are a gift How triggers get formed Why your triggers and unconscious beliefs affect your life and your reality The role of projection in triggers Practical steps to work with triggers Triggers are never fun, but we don’t have to get swept away by triggers or let them hijack our emotions. When we develop the skills to work with them, we can live with more peace and balance in every part of our lives…and get to know ourselves a lot better along the way. “[Triggers] are really key to our growth.”  - Michelle Chalfant “Our triggers are our responsibility.” - Michelle Chalfant “Triggers belong to ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant “If someone outside of you is acting like that, it will not bother you unless you have the same quality inside of you.” - Michelle Chalfant “The more we work on our stuff, the less we get triggered.” - Michelle Chalfant “That’s why I love triggers: because when we’re triggered, it’s like this belief that’s been in the dark gets lifted out of the dark and into the light.” - Michelle Chalfant “They help us to know the unknown that’s deep inside of us.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we get in touch with these unconscious beliefs, our lives begin to change.” - Michelle Chalfant “You have to go into what scares you. That is how you transform it.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Happy Birthday, Michelle! Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Realizing your partner is a narcissist or emotionally abusive and making the decision to leave can be one of the most liberating experiences of your life. But what if you’re forever tied to this person because of a child you share together? What if you can take yourself out of the relationship but can't take the narcissist out of your life? Co-parenting with a highly toxic or abusive person adds a whole new dynamic to parenting and divorce. Your child needs more support than ever — and so do you as you heal. You not only have to figure out how to move forward, but you also have to learn how to handle high-conflict interactions with your ex without letting it drag you back into the old patterns that harmed you. Sarah Kamoto is a coach who specializes in helping people co-parent through high-conflict situations. After leaving the narcissistic father of her young child, she has walked this path and navigated everything from how to help your child process the unhealthy dynamics they’re witnessing at the toxic parent’s house to what to do when your ex tries to turn your child against you. In this episode, we dig deep into narcissistic relationships — the signs of a narcissistic relationship, why we experience grief when leaving, dating after leaving and so many questions I get asked about narcissism — plus how to thrive even when you have a high-conflict ex to contend with. Listen to discover: Common signs that you're in an emotionally abusive relationship The dynamics between narcissists and their adult children The process of grief when recognizing and leaving a narcissist Why it's counterproductive to confront a narcissist The difficulties of co-parenting with a toxic ex & how to navigate them Helping your children become emotionally healthy even with a toxic parent How to respond when your ex tries to turn your kids against you Scripts for talking to your children about divorce without pitting them against your ex Everyone deserves to have a beautiful life. You weren’t put here to experience abuse or have your sense of self eroded. You, your children and your entire family can thrive after a narcissistic relationship, but it all starts within. It starts with you doing your work so you can model something different for your children and take the higher path even when your ex tries to tear you down. I hope this episode gives you new tools for growing your self-worth and practical ideas for navigating complex co-parenting situations. "They basically try to destroy who you are as a person." - Sarah Kamoto "They don't ever take responsibility, and they blame you for everything." - Michelle Chalfant "It's a slow erosion." - Sarah Kamoto "I realized that I couldn't have had self-love if I allowed someone to treat me in this way without setting my own boundaries." - Sarah Kamoto "I don't think emotionally healthy people end up in these relationships. You only become emotionally healthy when you've been forced to do this work." - Sarah Kamoto "Isn't the fact that you want more and deserve more enough?" - Sarah Kamoto "It's a lot easier just to switch victims and move on to somebody else than to actually go and do the inner healing work." - Sarah Kamoto "I think anything is possible. And for me it boils down to, 'How aware are you?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Life is too short. I want to live a beautiful life. Everyone deserves to live a beautiful life. We were not put on this earth to be treated in this way and downtrodden and abused." - Sarah Kamoto "Not all people with narcissistic traits are abusive." - Sarah Kamoto "You're trying to parent and you're trying to heal and you're trying to co-parent with somebody who is high conflict." - Sarah Kamoto "You need to differentiate who you are from who the other parent is." - Sarah Kamoto LINKS & RESOURCES Sarah Kamoto Instagram https://www.instagram.com/narc_proof_and_thriving/ Sarah Kamoto Website https://narcproofandthriving.com/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now! https://theadultchair.com/certification Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You get an idea, you have something you want to do or you become aware of a change you want to make. The first thing you feel is excitement…and then suddenly, the fear hits. Your mind starts racing with all the bad things that could happen if you move forward with your idea. Some of these concerns might sound legitimate, which just adds to the confusion. How can you tell if you’re making a decision out of fear or out of wisdom? How can you connect to your soul to know if something is right for you or not? In this episode, I’m giving you a quick and easy five-step process to overcome fear in decision-making. Using this process, you will learn how to identify the specific fears you have, how to figure out which of them are true (and which are just stories) and how to get out of your head and intuitively make a decision from your heart. Listen to discover: Why fear comes up when we are trying to make a decision How fear keeps us from making good decisions A five-step process to and overcome fear in decision-making How to make decisions from a heart-centered place instead of a fear-centered one Here’s the thing: it’s normal to feel fear when making a big decision, and at the same time, fear isn’t always a sign that we shouldn’t move forward. When we learn to unwind our stories and get into our bodies, we can tell the difference between empty fear and intuitive guidance and learn to make the decisions that are truly best for us. “We think that it’s real, all of these fears, but what we find is most of them are not. They’re just stories we’re telling ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant “Write down as many as you can until you have exhausted that part of your brain that’s kicking out all the fears.” - Michelle Chalfant “The idea is you want to be able to see what thoughts you’re having around the decision.” - Michelle Chalfant “If it’s not 100% fact and truth, you’re gonna cross it off the list.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you feel it in the body, it anchors in your new truth.” - Michelle Chalfant “Fear is a stimulating emotion.” - Michelle Chalfant “That takes us out of fight or flight. That puts us in the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and relax. Then we can think clearly again.” - Michelle Chalfant “Sometimes when we make decisions, there’s a little bit of fear there. If fear is there, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t move forward.”  - Michelle Chalfant “We want to make soul-driven decisions.” - Michelle Chalfant “We don’t make the right decisions when we’re only in our heads.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now! https://theadultchair.com/certification Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant    

If you’ve spent any time in the therapy or self-help space, you’ve probably heard amazing stories from leaders and teachers who have had some sort of spiritual awakening. To the average person, these types of experiences might seem far off – something reserved for the gurus or super spiritual among us. But in my work, I want to know if all humans can awaken to their true self and how we do that.  Andrew DeGregorio was not a guru when he had his awakening. An average 30-something guy who wasn’t necessarily on a spiritual quest, his life totally changed when he had a near-death experience that led him to connect with something bigger than himself. As he went through a season of immense suffering following his injury and turned inward to ask deeper questions about himself, he began to recognize how much he was living from survival- and fear-based strategies and how much conditioning was covering up his true self. Then, one day, he had an indescribable experience of connecting with his true self and the pure Love we all come from, and he never looked back. Today, he helps others heal and return to their true selves through personal development, energy work, nervous system work and so much more…and he’s walking proof that, yes, any of us can awaken! In this episode, Andrew shares his experience of awakening and the deep wisdom from his own journey. We talk about the ego, soul, God, the universe and how we can get out of projection, our programming and fear and live from a love-centered and soul-centered place every day. Listen to discover: Andrew’s powerful story of awakening to his true self after a near-death experience What the ego is and the role it plays in our life Practical (and often counterintuitive) ways we can begin to awaken The energetic dynamics of projection and how it affects relationships What the soul is (the stuff we’re actually made up of as humans) How our souls and personality work together to create our purpose How to create a soul-driven and love-driven business Navigating pain and depression from a soul-centered place This is such a deep conversation where we talk about some of the biggest questions of life and the universe, but it felt so practical and grounded (that’s part of Andrew’s magic!). As you listen, I invite you to open your mind and stretch your beliefs. I believe that simply asking these types of questions is one of the most important things we can do. When we open our mind to the possibilities that exist and surrender to something bigger than ourselves, we might be surprised at what we discover about ourselves, others and even God. “Awakening is a good word. That was a process that began to happen to me.” - Andrew DeGregorio “I took radical responsibility for my reality and moving out of this victim mentality.” - Andrew DeGregorio “In that moment, I had an experience of the truth of what I am, of what we are.” - Andrew DeGregorio “When you see all the things that you’re not, eventually you’re going to realize the thing that you are.” - Andrew DeGregorio “We walk around thinking we’re this person, but we’re actually not that at all.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we come out of our conditioning, we start to realize there’s a lot more to reality.” - Andrew DeGregorio “Where we source our action…really matters. What’s the energy behind our action?” - Andrew DeGregorio “We can choose to begin to awaken by turning inward within ourselves.” - Andrew DeGregorio “The true self is in all of us, but it’s covered up.” - Michelle Chalfant “We actually need each other as mirrors.” - Andrew DeGregorio “A simple request when there’s projection involved becomes an attack.”- Andrew DeGregorio “Slowing things down is really key.” - Michelle Chalfant “The soul has a mission that it’s here to do.” - Andrew DeGregorio “If we are depressed, and we can just have that intention of surrendering to God while taking some action and really having compassion for ourselves and finding somebody that can support us, I think anybody can come back from it.” - Andrew DeGregorio “Surrender is not complacent.” - Andrew DeGregorio LINKS & RESOURCES Andrew DeGregorio Website https://www.andrewdegregorio.com/ “The Knock” (Andrew DeGregorio Book) https://www.amazon.com/Knock-Unexpected-Wake-Up-Call/dp/1949003051 The Adult Chair® Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When is a relationship worth fighting for and when is the only answer to walk away? Is it possible to work through dysfunctional patterns with a partner and get the outcomes you want?   You know that I always say if there is physical  abuse, GET OUT!   But dysfunction exists on a spectrum, and just because someone has a personality disorder or dysfunctional traits doesn’t mean they will always become abusive. In fact, many people in difficult relationships don’t want to leave…they want to figure out how to make it work.   Darlene Lancer, a licensed therapist and narcissism and codependency expert, joined me on the show today to help break down what abuse is, why abusive relationships are so hard to leave and the situations where someone with narcissistic traits can change and become a good partner…and when it’s time to walk.   She explains the five different types of abuse, the surprising and subtle ways it can show up and how our own childhood dynamics and emotional health play a role in how easily we can see and remove ourselves from abusive dynamics.   Darlene also explains why some non-abusive people with narcissistic personality traits can learn how to be supportive partners and communicate in better ways and why it's necessary for codependents to build self-worth and change the dance with their partners. Listen to discover: Whether or not a narcissist can change What trauma bonding is and how it originates Why abusive relationships are so hard to leave The 5 different kinds of abuse Examples of subtle and not-so-subtle abuse The dynamics of codependency and narcissism Why people fall for dysfunctional partners and how to create healthier patterns in relationships   This episode is not an invitation to try to change anyone. People – and especially narcissists – have to be self-aware and want to change for themselves before any transformation can happen.   This episode is designed to help you understand the relationship between narcissism and codependency and what abuse looks like so you can more easily identify when it’s time to get out vs. when there might be hope of working it out.   "All mental illness exists on a continuum." - Darlene Lancer   "If you suspect you're being abused, you probably are." - Darlene Lancer   "When you're in a dysfunctional relationship, the person that you're with will want to isolate you." - Michelle Chalfant   “[Narcissists] are all about impression management. Because of their inner low self-esteem and shame…they want to make you admire them.” - Darlene Lancer   "An abuser isn't abusive all the time." - Darlene Lancer   "If it feels off in some way, it probably is." - Michelle Chalfant   "Narcissists' demands are relentless, and you'll never satisfy them." - Darlene Lancer   "Projection is a confession." - Darlene Lancer   "Blaming and shaming is pretty universal with abusers. And the problem is that codependents have shame of their own." - Darlene Lancer   "Some idealization is normal, but when it clouds the negative behavior and it overtakes your reason, then that's a sign of some problem within us." - Darlene Lancer   "A narcissist...doesn't see people as separate from them where a codependent doesn't see themselves as separate from others." - Darlene Lancer   "Codependents, they want to get along, so they'll compromise. And you keep compromising away until you disappear." - Darlene Lancer   LINKS & RESOURCES   Darlene Lancer Website https://darlenelancer.com/   "Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist" (Darlene Lancer Book) https://www.amazon.com/Dating-Loving-Leaving-Narcissist-Relationships/dp/0578373181/   Episode #257: Unlearning Codependency with Darlene Lancer https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/257/   National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/help/   The Adult Chair® Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville   Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order    MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Kute Blackson is no stranger to miracles. Growing up the son of a spiritual leader in Ghana, Africa, Kute witnessed healings and transformation that were nothing short of awe-inspiring.   But when he realized it wasn’t his calling to take over his father’s ministry in the way his family expected, it led him on a challenging and transformational journey of his own: one in which he discovered the magic of surrender and how it can heal our lives.   In this episode, Kute delivers so much wisdom about what surrender really is (it’s not passive like you might think ), the role of the ego in our lives, why the challenges we face are an essential part of our soul’s journey and how to let go and live open to the possibilities – the miracles – life holds for us.   Listen to discover: ● Kute’s story of courageously following his calling even in the face of adversity ● Why challenging experiences are essential to our soul’s growth ● What surrender actually is and why it’s so powerful ● How to tell when we’re in the flow ● What to do when you feel stuck and are struggling to surrender ● Where resistance comes from ● Why surrender requires grieving what we think we know and how it opens us up to more love and joy Each of us is here with a purpose, and even the difficult moments in our lives hold something important for our growth. When we can relinquish control and what we think our lives should look like, we discover that there are divine possibilities beyond what our mind can even think of or dream up…and what a truly exciting, miraculous journey that is! “Those challenges [don’t] mean you’re on the wrong path. It sometimes means you’re on the right path; you just have to go through, on a human level, the soul test.” - Kute Blackson “Forgiveness frees you.” - Michelle Chalfant “It doesn’t mean that when something difficult is in your path, it’s not God-inspired, soul-inspired.” - Michelle Chalfant “Life is a university for our soul’s evolution…We’re always succeeding when we’re learning the lessons, even if it’s difficult.” - Kute Blackson “In our culture, we have this misconception that surrender is weak.” - Kute Blackson “In true surrender and letting go, what if you actually got more than you could have intended and planned with the limited concept of your own mind?” - Kute Blackson “Surrender is when we stop trying to force life to fit into our limited idea of what we think it should look like.” - Kute Blackson “Many of our goals are often projections of unmet needs from our childhood.” - Kute Blackson “The mind is constantly seeking to understand why…which is another form of control.” - Kute Blackson “It’s the journey that brings us the happiness.” - Michelle Chalfant “Many times people think that they’re feeling the feeling, but they’re actually thinking about the feeling.” - Kute Blackson “To truly surrender requires the willingness to move through the portal of grieving.” - Kute Blackson   LINKS & RESOURCES Kute Blackson Website https://kuteblackson.com/  Kute Blackson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kuteblackson/  “The Magic of Surrender” (Kute Blackson Book) https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Surrender-Finding-Courage-Let/dp/0593189094  Kute’s Bali Retreat https://www.boundlessblissbali.com/  The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification  STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant 

You guys know I’m a huge believer in meditation for its emotional and spiritual benefits. It’s one of the greatest tools I’ve found for personal growth and living a more peaceful life. But it turns out that meditation also has a major impact on the brain, from our fear response to how well we sleep at night. In this show, we take a deeper look at meditation through the lens of neuroscience alongside neuroscientist and brain expert Ariel Garten. In this fascinating show with a fascinating guest, Ariel talks about what meditation is (and what it’s not), the benefits of meditation and how it positively affects the brain – backed by tons of research and data. And in case the studies she cites aren’t enough, she actually invented a smart headband called Muse that monitors brain activity and gives you biofeedback to help you calm your busy mind, sleep better and measure the real benefits of a meditation practice! How cool is that?! This episode will give you the scoop on all the science behind fear, how our brains get wired for anxiety, how the brain contributes to sleep and the power to choose thoughts that heal our brain instead of hurting it. Listen to discover: What meditation is and what it does for the brain How to get started with a meditation practice The benefits of meditation (with data to prove it) The amygdala, the fight or flight response and how it connects to meditation What happens to the brain during sleep + the two mechanisms that govern sleep The 5 essentials of a good night’s sleep The neuroscience of anxiety I absolutely love when science helps back up and explain ancient wisdom, and there’s no arguing with the info Ariel shares. We NEED to be meditating as humans! If you don’t currently meditate, start small (even 5 or 10 minutes a day has major brain-boosting benefits) and consider using tools like Muse to help you build a habit. I promise you won’t regret it! "Meditation is not a weird or woo woo thing. Meditation is a practice or a training that leads to healthy and positive mind states." - Ariel Garten "Meditation is a practice. It's not something we can ever master." - Michelle Chalfant "Meditation is about learning to observe your thinking and then be able to make a different choice." - Ariel Garten "Our amygdala is really there to save us from the bad things in the world, but it goes way overboard." - Ariel Garten "Just eight weeks of meditation led to actual change in the brain." -  Ariel Garten “The trick with anxiety is just to realize it’s just a broken alarm.” - Ariel Garten "In meditation, you have the thoughts that come. You rise up above them. You notice that you're having thoughts and you don't get sucked in." - Ariel Garten "We forget how powerful we are, that we can actually choose our thoughts." - Michelle Chalfant "We fall victim to our thoughts all the time." - Michelle Chalfant "One of the things that may be happening in somebody who has a hyper-reactive emotional state is that they've spent a long time engaging with that emotional state." - Ariel Garten "The thoughts in your mind and the emotions in your body don't need to trap you into yourself and into a small way of living your life." - Ariel Garten LINKS & RESOURCES Muse https://choosemuse.com/ Use code POD10 for 10% off Muse Social Media @choosemuse Ariel Garten Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ariels_musings Untangle (Ariel Garten podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/untangle/id1073460738 The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We were all created with a purpose, but so many of us feel disconnected from who we are and why we’re here. We get bogged down by everyday life, social pressure and the need to make money, and we get stuck in survival mode. Many of us don’t even know what our passion is! But you were made for more! You were made to live a life of joy and passion that lights you up inside…and it’s never too late to find that. In this show, I’m giving you five hands-on steps to uncover your passion and purpose in life. This episode will take you on an exciting journey of self-discovery that will reconnect you back to yourself in a profound way and discover why your beautiful soul is here on this planet. So, grab a pen and paper and follow along with me, or listen for the tips and do the exercises at a later date. But I promise, if you go through this process, you WILL discover more about what your purpose is…and how to start taking action towards it! Listen to discover: 5 hands-on steps for finding your passion and purpose 3 lists you can make to uncover your passion today Affirmations for finding your passion and purpose How to keep fear and inaction from getting in the way Our purpose in life isn’t rigid. It might be more than one thing. It might change over the years. The way we live it out might evolve. This is why it’s so important that we learn how to tune into our intuition and take the next step on the illuminated path in each season of life. When we let go of exactly what it should look like and instead embrace the exciting journey of life, we will be able to respond to the nudges we get from our soul and experience the joy of living in the flow…our unique path, designed around our gifts, passions and purpose. “Hopefully, your purpose lights you up and you feel passionate about it.” - Michelle Chalfant “The body knows why we’re here.” - Michelle Chalfant “Use your heart and your body as a navigation system that will lead you down a path to help you to find your passion and purpose.” - Michelle Chalfant “Every soul on the planet has gifts.” - Michelle Chalfant "What you hear, you have to take action on." - Michelle Chalfant "That soul, it's connected to something way bigger than us. It's got a vision for our whole life." - Michelle Chalfant “You are wise beyond your knowledge.” - Michelle Chalfant “Life is happening through you all the time.” - Michelle Chalfant “Feel your fear and do it anyway.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Certified Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the Waitlist! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Grief, anger, sadness, fear…YUCK! I don’t know anyone who likes to feel these emotions. I get emails from you guys all the time asking how to get rid of “negative” emotions like these. But are these emotions really negative? Or do they serve a purpose in our lives? While some emotions might feel more unpleasant than others, I personally don’t believe any emotion is negative. All emotions are part of the human experience and carry information for us. However, they can create negative experiences in life when we get stuck in them. The problem isn’t the emotions; it’s that we don’t know what to do with them! In this show, I’m teaching you how to work through the full range of emotions you were designed to experience as a human and how to get unstuck if you find yourself lost in anger, grief or fear. You’ll discover practical steps for feeling your emotions in a way that allows them to move through you, no matter how you saw emotions modeled growing up. Listen to discover: Why “negative” emotions serve a purpose in life The messages we receive about emotions as children What causes emotions to get stuck Practical steps to feel emotions and move them through you Emotions are simply energy that moves through our body and creates sensation. And on the spectrum of emotions from love to fear, some feel better than others…but because they are energy, they can ALL move through us (and move through us quickly). Problems arise when emotions come up that we don’t want to feel. We avoid them and shut them down, which makes us more likely to get stuck in these “negative” experiences. That's why we have to start going INTO our emotions, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel. When you do this, you’ll be surprised how quickly they move through you...and what powerful insights they might hold for you. ​​“We’re human, and humans were created to have emotions. We were created to have a range of emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant “There’s an energy to emotions that rises up and passes through us.” - Michelle Chalfant “I don’t even like to call emotions on the fear end of the spectrum ‘negative.’” - Michelle Chalfant “Anger propels us forward.” - Michelle Chalfant “Energy is always in motion, and emotions are energy.” - Michelle Chalfant “Something that keeps emotions stuck is a story.” - Michelle Chalfant “Just let it go and be present with whatever is coming up.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you put pen to paper, you’re tapping into your unconscious world.” - Michelle Chalfant “There’s power when someone is witnessing what’s going on in our inner world.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you feel the energy of peace, it's neutral.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

If there’s one thing that most cases of narcissistic abuse have in common, it’s that the narcissist has an incredible ability to blindside their victims. Nearly every story starts out with someone meeting a wonderful, charming person until suddenly their dark side comes out.  Sometimes the abuse can be so subtle that the victim doesn’t notice it’s happening until it’s broken them down. The gaslighting can be so intense that even the strongest person can wonder if they’re the crazy one and if it’s all their fault.   Narcissism is so, so sinister.   This was what happened to Melanie Tonia Evans after she married what seemed like a wonderful man, before she even knew what a narcissist was. His abuse eventually pushed her into a breakdown that became a moment of healing, as it revealed to her the unhealed places in herself. Today, she has developed her own energy healing method to heal trauma at the soul level – beyond the conscious mind – and help others recover from narcissistic abuse.   In the episode, Melanie talks about the keys to recognizing and healing from narcissistic abuse, how her experience with narcissism led her to healing her own self-worth and inner child and how she eventually learned to love who she really was and become whole. Listen to discover: The dynamics of a narcissistic relationship  How Melanie discovered the unhealed places in herself that attracted her to a narcissistic partner Why it's so hard to leave a narcissist How to heal from narcissistic abuse in your inner world Next steps when leaving a relationship with a narcissist The difference between a survivor and thriver The #1 mistake people make when trying to recover from narcissistic abuse I’m so thankful that narcissism is more widely talked about. While the narcissist is cunning, with the tools to recognize narcissism and become our emotionally healthy true selves, I hope more and more of us can see through the narcissist's careful image and stop being blindsided by abuse. "What really scared me the most was how I started tolerating behaviors I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be tolerating." - Melanie Tonia Evans   "One of the biggest realizations I had in that epiphany moment was that he was treating me identically to how I'd been treating myself." - Melanie Tonia Evans   "I had plenty of understanding from the chin up, but I wasn't standing in who I was." - Melanie Tonia Evans   "When the person leaves, the narcissist does go after the person that leaves, and it's not pretty."  - Michelle Chalfant   "There's got to be a sense of the inner strength and empowerment in order to leave." - Michelle Chalfant   "The narcissist is a black and white individual." - Melanie Tonia Evans   "You're either serving the false self, where you're amazing. And if you want to get away or you're not, well then you are absolute trash." - Melanie Tonia Evans   "The victim often looks like the perpetrator." - Melanie Tonia Evans   "We actually thrive, not despite what happened to us, but literally because of what happened for us." - Melanie Tonia Evans   LINKS & RESOURCES    Melanie Tonia Evans Website https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/     Melanie Tonia Evans Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program https://courses.melanietoniaevans.com/p/narp     Melanie Tonia Evans Masterclass https://www.recoverhealthrive.com/    The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville     MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/  The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/  The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification    STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/  The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant 

Anne Moss Rogers will never forget the day she got the news that no parent wants to hear: her son had died. And then a second piece of news came like a punch to the gut: he had died by suicide. Anne Moss and her husband knew he had been struggling with alcohol and drugs, but they didn’t realize he had been using substances to mask thoughts of suicide. On top of their loss and grief, they were forced to wrestle with the questions that often come in the wake of suicide: Did they miss the signs? Was there more they could have done? How could such a wonderful person like their son feel so hopeless? In this episode, Anne Moss shares her powerful story of surviving and healing after her son’s death, how she overcame the questions and guilt that come when someone close dies by suicide and her work as a mental health and suicide prevention speaker, reaching others who are hurting and educating people on the signs of suicide. Anne Moss uses her expertise to pull back the curtain on a tough topic that we often want to sweep under the rug and gives practical advice on how to talk about suicide, how to help someone who might be contemplating suicide and how to process grief following a suicide.   Listen to discover:  Anne Moss's story and how she has processed the grief of her son’s death How Anne Moss overcame the guilt and questions surrounding her son's death The increasing rates of suicide among young people and what might be driving it The signs that someone might be contemplating suicide What to say and what not to say to someone contemplating suicide Correct language for describing suicide Tips for parents concerned about their children   Suicide is becoming a rising cause of death, especially among young people, and while it’s a tough topic to talk about, it’s one that is too important to ignore. In fact, 86% of people who think about suicide let their intentions be known in some way. Anne Moss’s advice in this episode helps us know how to approach this topic with empathy and boldness and how to walk alongside a child or friend who might be struggling.   If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org/ to talk to someone who will offer you support and understanding with zero judgment. You don’t have to walk through this alone.   "Our love isn't what prevents suicides." - Anne Moss Rogers   "They don't leave because they don't love you...they leave because they are in pain or a place of deep despair." - Anne Moss Rogers   "It is really hard for a lot of humans to walk in and sit with someone in their tragedy." - Anne Moss Rogers   "Time removed [grief's] fangs." - Anne Moss Rogers   "You cannot push pain away. You have to go straight into it to heal it." - Michelle Chalfant   "I'd rather somebody be mad at me than dead." - Anne Moss Rogers   "Your job is to listen with empathy...allowing another person to feel heard is the absolute greatest gift you can give to another human." - Anne Moss Rogers   "86% of those who thought about suicide let their intentions be known in some way."  - Anne Moss Rogers     LINKS & RESOURCES Anne Moss Rogers Blog www.emotionallynaked.com   Anne Moss Rogers Website https://annemossrogers.com/   "Diary of a Broken Mind" (Anne Moss Rogers book) https://www.amazon.com/DIARY-BROKEN-MIND-Mothers-Haunting/dp/0998788163   Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call or text 988 https://988lifeline.org/   The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville     MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

As humans, we tell ourselves stories all the time, every day. As we go through life, we try to make sense of our circumstances by making assumptions, filling in blanks and telling ourselves stories about why things are the way they are.   The problem? 97% of the time, these stories aren’t true!   These untrue stories and assumptions that we believe create SO much unnecessary stress, anxiety and pain…they can even destroy our relationships.   In this show, I chat with my good friend and fellow life coach, Claudine Sweeney, about the time that stories and assumptions almost ended our 15-year friendship. This hilarious story is an incredible example of how easily we can all fall into story and the domino effect assumptions have on our lives and our relationships. It’s only because we chose to be truth seekers that we were able to clear up the misunderstanding and save our friendship!   In this show, we’re sharing practical tips for how you can bust stories and live as a truth seeker…and save yourself a whole lot of stress, pain and drama in the process!   Listen to discover: The (now) hilarious story of how Claudine and I almost lost our friendship ALL because of assumptions Why our brains so easily create stories How our past experiences can feed our stories and assumptions Steps to bust stories and unwind assumptions How to change your life by choosing better, more conscious thoughts The power of giving others the benefit of the doubt and seeking a higher perspective   Stories and assumptions are a vicious cycle because once we have a story in our mind, our ego collects all the evidence to validate that story. We suddenly only see things that reinforce our beliefs.   It takes courage to slow down, question our thoughts and ask others for clarity, facts and truth…but it’s what we do from our Adult Chair!   We don’t just make assumptions about our own lives; we make assumptions about others around us all the time. We assume we know what type of person someone is and what type of experience they’ve had in life because of where they live or what they look like or stereotypes and prejudices we hold. How often do assumptions lead to anger, division and even hate?   By being curious, giving people the benefit of the doubt and leading with love, we not only change our lives and our relationships, but we might even change the world.   “Stories and assumptions are things that plague every aspect of our lives.” - Michelle Chalfant   “And all of the sudden that lack of invitation becomes this whole story and there’s so many assumptions and it can really destroy relationships.” - Claudine Sweeney   “We collect data to reinforce the story…The eyes and the brain will sort for anything to reinforce what my belief is.” - Michelle Chalfant   “What we do as healthy adults is we learn to bust those stories.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Our pasts come into play here.” - Claudine Sweeney   “Blame is all from the ego.” - Michelle Chalfant   “[We] believe our feelings are fact and truth.” - Claudine Sweeney   “97% of the time that we’re in stories and assumptions, they’re incorrect.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If someone comes at us and treats us in an unkind way, we have to consider the circumstance.” - Michelle Chalfant   “I challenge and encourage my clients to get curious, not critical.” - Claudine Sweeney   “We fall victim to our negative, unconscious thoughts.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When I learned that my thoughts generated my emotions…it was mind-blowing and absolutely changed my life.” - Claudine Sweeney     LINKS & RESOURCES   Claudine Sweeney Website https://claudinesweeney.com/   Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4     MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We’ve all heard that relationships are hard work…but why are they so hard? And what does healthy hard work look like versus putting up with behavior we shouldn’t?   Dr. Stan Tatkin has a unique approach to answering these questions by looking at relationships through the lens of psychobiology. This means understanding how our brain, our body, our nervous system and our survival instincts can contribute to and work against healthy relationships. Yes, it’s as fascinating as it sounds!   In this episode, we talk about how our self-preservation instincts can keep us from experiencing deep relationships and sabotage our happiness, how attachment and projection work, why we pick partners that feel familiar to us and how we can work against the brain’s tendency to “get used to” our partners and keep the spark alive!   Listen to discover:  How our survival brains sometimes work against us in relationships Why we pick the partners we do Why relationships change after marriage What projection is and how it works The power of a purpose-centered relationship Practical habits for getting out of self-preservation mode and working towards the good of your relationship How to handle conflict in a relationship The biological reason relationships lose their spark and why curiosity is a game changer   Dr. Tatkin talks about how great partnerships are built not just on love and emotions but shared values, principles and goals. When the partnership develops its own identity and vision, it helps us look beyond ourselves and seek the good of the whole instead of just the good of ourselves.   This way of thinking and the habits that go along with it create powerful loyalty, intimacy and love that grows with time. This episode will help you work with your human nature to build stronger, more mutually fulfilling relationships with your love…and who doesn’t want that?!   "[Secure functioning relationships] are built on full equality, parity, fairness, justice, sensitivity, collaboration and cooperation. That's a very simple idea that's hard to do." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "When we are threatened or under-resourced, under stress, we are more likely to act and react automatically."  - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "We have brains that are always aware of what's missing...what we don't have."  - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "We are picking partners that look familiar, feel familiar in some way." - Michelle Chalfant   "It makes sense that we would pick somebody that's familiar enough to get close to but stranger enough to be interested in."  - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "We are in projection all the time." - Michelle Chalfant   "We've never lived outside our heads, and we never will. It's all perception." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "When being in a relationship, one has to surrender that their perception is correct, that their reality is correct, in favor of the relationship." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "We're inter-dependent, which means we have the same things to lose and the same things to gain."  - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "[Our partner is] a stranger that we're always trying to get to know." - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "Humans have a hard time with ownership and apologizing." - Michelle Chalfant   "A purpose-based relationship is a commitment to do the right thing when it's the hardest thing to do."  - Dr. Stan Tatkin   "When you become ordinary is when I look for the unique and novel in you. That's my job." - Dr. Stan Tatkin     LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Stan Tatkin Website https://www.thepactinstitute.com/   Dr. Stan Tatkin Retreats for Couples https://www.thepactinstitute.com/retreats   Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all experience emotions, but most of us don’t really understand what emotions are. These feelings can drastically alter our day, our life and our experience in the world, yet they’re intangible and often messy and confusing. It’s no wonder many of us try to avoid them altogether.   Well, get ready to have your mind blown and to see emotions in a whole new light in this brilliant episode with Dr. Joan Rosenberg. Dr. Rosenberg began her study of emotions when she was trying to figure out what made some people confident in life, and her finding was surprising: confidence didn’t just come from a sense of self-esteem but from our ability to handle uncomfortable emotions.   As she dug deeper into the human emotional experience, she uncovered a world of surprises around our understanding of emotions and how we can better process, experience and master our emotions.   We talked about why emotions are so uncomfortable for us (it’s not why you think), what a compliment really is and why it matters so much, what drives fear, anxiety and grief, our fears around emotions and how we get stuck in emotion. Dr. Joan also shares her formula for feeling, experiencing and expressing the eight core emotions in an authentic way that helps them truly move through us.   Listen to discover: The unexpected key to building confidence "The Rosenberg Reset" formula to build confidence The 3 things that cause our uncomfortable feelings to linger (it's not the feelings themselves!) Steps to build more confidence The true power of a compliment (this one left me speechless) What's actually underneath fear and anxiety Why we need to both feel AND express our emotions   As much as I talk about emotions, I was still left speechless more than once in this episode as Dr. Rosenberg got to the heart of what is really beneath certain emotions and my perspective was shifted in so many ways. This is a truly empowering show that will help you live a more balanced and confident life.   “We need to learn as humans how to feel our emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The ability or the capacity to handle unpleasant feelings really is the foundation of confidence.” - Dr Joan Rosenberg   “I think of confidence as the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever you pursue.” - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "We're one interconnected whole...The brain is always feeding information to the body, and the body is always feeding information to the brain." Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "It comes down to handling short-lived bodily sensation waves." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "100% of the time that sensation morphs and vanishes if they stay with it." - Michelle Chalfant   "We metabolize feeling by feeling it and expressing it." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "If you want to stop your ruminating thoughts, you have to feel the emotion that's underneath the rumination." - Michelle Chalfant   "I think of the ability to speak up as the superglue to confidence." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "A compliment is a reflection of you back to you." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "What looks like arrogance is insecurity." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "Disguised grief is the gap between what we wanted, what we needed, what we felt we deserved and what we really got." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg     LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Joan Rosenberg https://drjoanrosenberg.com/    “90 Seconds to a Life You Love” (Dr. Joan Rosenberg book) https://www.amazon.com/Seconds-Life-You-Love-Authenticity/dp/1478999764    Dr. Joan Rosenberg TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKy19WzkPxE      MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You think you’re a good person, you genuinely love your partner and you try to do the right thing …so why are you struggling in your relationship? Why do you and your partner feel unhappy, disconnected and maybe even headed for divorce?   These are the questions Matt Fray asked himself after his marriage ended. He knew he was a decent guy. He knew he had loved his wife, been faithful and done the things he thought he was “supposed” to do in a marriage – yet one day she came to him and asked for a divorce. As he walked through the grief and pain of that experience, he began a journey of self-reflection and blogging to try to understand what went wrong and how people can truly have healthy relationships.   What he uncovered was a series of small habits and dynamics that added up in his relationship and eroded trust and safety over time…and that these dynamics exist in nearly all relationships, including relationships made up of good people who really do love each other. Now, he’s on a mission to help good people become good partners by understanding the root of relationship problems and how to fix them.   In this episode, Matt reveals the invisible habits that kill relationships, how we can turn our relationships around and how to build trust, safety and lifelong love.   Listen to discover: Matt’s story of his marriage ending and what he did next The habits and blind spots that damage and even destroy our relationships The three ways we invalidate people unintentionally Why defensiveness can be so damaging The importance of empathy and consideration in relationships How to break the cycle of invalidation and build trust and safety Nothing in life is static. Either we’re cultivating our relationships and on a trajectory of trust or we’re neglecting our relationships and on a trajectory of breakdown. Too often, we can’t see this trajectory until it all falls apart. I love Matt’s work because he’s helping us open our eyes to the invisible ways we’re either creating or damaging our relationships, even when things seem “fine,” and giving us one of the most important gifts a person can have: the power of choice to do things differently and change the trajectory we’re on. “There’s so much power in that ‘I’m not alone’ experience.” - Matt Fray   “That’s when healing truly began — when I took ownership and responsibility for my lot in life.” - Matt Fray   “When you think you’re a good person, it’s so easy to not accept responsibility for harm that’s being experienced by someone else.”- Matt Fray   “Very good people who really, truly love each other can do this to one another.” - Matt Fray   “Once you associate invalidation with the erosion of trust, then you can make the conscious decision to validate.” - Matt Fray   “When we go through something unusual, it is our job to share, ‘You know, I really need help with this,’ and it’s our partner’s job to show up and say, ‘I’ve got you.’” - Michelle Chalfant   “It’s not about being right – it’s being there in it with that person.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The low-hanging fruit…is ‘I’m not going to invalidate.’” - Matt Fray     LINKS & RESOURCES Matt Fray Website https://matthewfray.com/   “This Is How Your Marriage Ends” (Matt Fray book) https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships/dp/0063072254/   “The Mask You Live In” Documentary https://therepproject.org/films/the-mask-you-live-in/     MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

The world around us demands so much of us. If we’re not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life.   I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it’s no wonder she’s become so well known for her work. But her new book might just be my favorite yet — I truly couldn’t put it down (it’s SO aligned with The Adult Chair®) — and I’m beyond thrilled to have her on the show to discuss how to have a radical (and beautiful) awakening in life.   In this conversation, we explore the way our ego and our social conditioning covers up the true self and keeps us from living free lives. This can be especially true for those oriented towards giving, nurturing and connecting. Society takes these gifts and trains us to be outward focused, seeking praise, validation and approval instead of turning inward and claiming who we really are.   Dr. Shefali shares her own story of awakening, when she realized that despite her work, she was living in the “matrix” and ignoring her true wants and needs to try to get love from others (what she calls the “beggar” mentality). By going deep into the often difficult work of looking at the ego and the masks we all wear, she was able to strip away the lies and see what was true — and step into the authentic self-love and self-care we all deserve.   Listen to discover: Shefali’s own radical awakening The trap women (and men) fall into How to stop suppressing the true self What soul erosion is and how it forms The “triple threat” women face in childhood The role of the ego in our life What keeps us from awakening (especially in our culture) This is a profound conversation that will take the blinders off and change what you think is normal, while inspiring you to strive for what is truly possible for you — and for all of us.   “We, women especially, need to snap out of our chronic civility, helplessness and unworthiness.”  - Dr. Shefali   “We cannot waste our life never discovering our true self.” - Dr. Shefali   “When we’re told we can only be given worth when we put others before ourselves, now that giving heart leads to an obliteration of ourselves.” - Dr. Shefali   “We’re so disconnected from our true self, we don’t know who we are at all.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The way out is in. We have to go in to heal.” - Michelle Chalfant   “I want what’s on the other side of that wall, but you got to go through the wall, and the wall is our pain.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We tell ourselves the greatest stories in the world, and we don’t know we’re telling ourselves stories.” - Dr. Shefali   “The greatest narcissism is to pretend you’re not a queen or a king and not own your voice.” - Dr. Shefali   Resources “A Radical Awakening” Book and Course http://aradicalawakening.com/    Dr. Shefali Website https://www.drshefali.com/   Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you know what anxiety really feels like? I’m not talking about the emotions of fear or stress, but what it feels like in your body. So many of us live with anxiety and don’t even know it because it’s SO physical. It’s even easy to mistake it for physical disease, like heart issues or digestive issues. That was the case for Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek, two soul sisters who are both mental health professionals and the founders of Anxiety Sisters, a supportive community for those living with anxiety. Though they can now see how their anxiety began showing up in early childhood, for years, they bounced from doctor to doctor and even spent time in the hospital before realizing the root cause of their suffering was anxiety. This began their passion to help raise awareness around anxiety and help anxiety sufferers learn how to live full, happy lives – anxiety and all. We had an incredible conversation about all things anxiety and how to heal it, and I resonated with so many parts of their story…these ladies are the real deal! Listen to discover: Our stories of recognizing and healing anxiety How anxiety manifests as physical symptoms The power of acceptance in managing anxiety Why connection is key to healing anxiety How to pack a "spin kit" so you'll be prepared when anxiety strikes The difference between anxiety and a panic attack How to overcome phobias and agoraphobia I know I have a lot of favorite topics, but anxiety is one I really feel we can't talk about enough. Too many people in the world are suffering from anxiety without even knowing it, and we have so many tools – from our support system to our sensory system – to help us find peace and balance in life. It’s not about never feeling anxious again, but learning how to find your own brand of happiness and how to take charge so anxiety no longer runs the show. "I still didn't have the vocabulary or the words to make these connections of what I was feeling and how that was connected to anxiety."  - Maggie Sarachek   "Anxiety becomes really debilitating when it's in the driver's seat." - Abbe Greenberg   "I think there is this process of accepting anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek   "Acceptance doesn't mean anything other than, 'This is where I am.’" - Michelle Chalfant   "Our brand of happy is anxious happy." - Abbe Greenberg   "Anxiety can no longer sneak up on you. And when it can't sneak up on you, it takes away two thirds of its power." - Abbe Greenberg   "No two people have the same exact anxiety and panic." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES Anxiety Sisters Website https://anxietysisters.com/   Anxiety Sisters Facebook https://www.facebook.com/anxietysisters *Home of a Tuesday night book club + supportive community   The Spin Cycle (Anxiety Sisters Podcast) https://anxietysisters.com/podcasts/   "The Anxiety Sisters' Survival Guide" (Anxiety Sisters Book) https://anxietysisters.com/anxiety-sisters-survival-guide/    The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/     MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. But what if you’ve experienced significant trauma as well? How do you distinguish between a trauma response and limiting or negative thinking? How do you find the power to heal when things have happened that were out of your control?   My guest today, Michael Unbroken, has an intense and powerful story of overcoming unspeakable trauma, growing up with abuse, addiction and homelessness. At one point, he wanted to end his own life. But he made a decision to live, and in doing so, discovered that the only path forward started within.   In this incredible conversation, Michael shares how he was able to break the cycle of trauma in his life and consciously choose a different path for himself. This is an inspiring and vulnerable conversation that will challenge you to take ownership of your life, treat yourself with grace and kindness and live life fully! Listen to discover: Michael’s incredible story of healing from trauma and turning his life around The steps for overcoming limiting beliefs How to get past fear and start living your life How to actually change your life (and why you have to get out of the way first) The power of vulnerability The importance of a mentor Transforming limiting beliefs starts with taking ownership of the way we think about life, no matter what we’ve been through. What happened to us is not our fault, but it does become our job to take responsibility for it and make a choice to create the healthy, whole life we want to live. We all have the power to do this, and I hope this episode inspires you to find everything that’s possible for you.   “It’s never going to be one thing that changes your life.” - Michael Unbroken   “What you think becomes what you speak. What you speak becomes your actions, and your actions become your reality.” - Michael Unbroken   “If we’re sitting waiting for someone to rescue us, we’re in the seat of the victim.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We have to create different. We have to create better. If we want a different life, we have to make different choices.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It will change everything about the fabric of your experience of this life when you’re willing to be real.” - Michael Unbroken   LINKS & RESOURCES Michael Unbroken Website https://www.thinkunbroken.com/   Michael Unbroken Podcast https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/   Michael Unbroken Instagram https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/   Michael Unbroken Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MichaelUnbroken/   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Sometimes, it takes losing everything you know to start over and begin the journey of healing.   Caroline Strawson is an internationally recognized trauma-informed therapist and coach who helps her clients recover from narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD and create thriving lives. Her journey began with her own story of loss when, in a very short period of time, her mother passed away, her narcissistic husband left her and their two young children and she discovered he had gotten them into $100,000 of debt, leading to the loss of her home and the life she had built.   Facing PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, guilt and shame, Caroline turned inward and took a close look at herself, her life and her relationships – and has since become a leader in trauma-informed recovery and healing from abuse.   In this conversation, Caroline shares her story of overcoming narcissistic abuse, how she finally recognized the abuse and how she began the journey of healing. She offers deep insights into how childhood wounding forms, how we develop “protector parts” and how those parts can lead to struggles like codependency and narcissism. She is a wealth of knowledge on trauma, how we get stuck in life, and how to move forward.   Listen to discover: The source of childhood wounding and trauma How our nervous system is designed to protect us Why codependents and narcissists are magnets for each other (and why it's easier for the codependent to change) How we can feel compassion for wounded people without accepting abuse Why people stay in abusive relationships and how to help a friend in an abusive relationship The difference between PTSD and complex PTSD How to begin building self-worth even if you're still in an abusive relationship   Whether you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist or not, you will get SO much out of this episode and gain a greater understanding of why you do what you do, what is going on in your brain in relation to trauma, and how to heal your wounding so you can form healthier relationships with self and others.   "Initially I was waiting for that epiphany of him changing to then be ok for me to move forward. And of course, that isn't the case. Because we can't change anybody."  - Caroline Strawson "Trauma isn't a person. It's not an event. It's what I feel and what I'm saying to myself about those events." - Caroline Strawson "Our system all of the time is working to keep us safe, keep us alive, protect us, and move us away from the biggest perceived pain.” - Caroline Strawson "No narcissist is born. They are created from their childhood." - Caroline Strawson  "The codependent is giving, giving, giving trying to soothe their self-worthiness wounds. The narcissist is like, 'Give it to me. I'll take, take, take,’ to soothe their self-worthiness wounds." - Caroline Strawson "I think of narcissism on a scale." - Michelle Chalfant "When we're in these relationships, our reality is so distorted. To build self-worth is to then start seeing reality much clearer." - Michelle Chalfant "Grounding and getting all five senses online also helps us with our reality. We stop doubting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES Caroline Strawson Website https://www.carolinestrawson.com/   Caroline Strawson Facebook https://www.facebook.com/carolinestrawson/   Caroline Strawson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/   “Divorce Became My Superpower” (Caroline Strawson Book) https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

It can be difficult to stay positive in today’s world. Not only do we all have an inner critic trying to send negative self-talk our way, but with 24-hour news coming at us, social media, polarization, and fear and anger in the world, it is so easy to get pulled into energy that doesn’t serve us or uplift us. It’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with mental health, anxiety, and depression. Ione Butler also struggled with depression most of her life and went on a self-healing journey to learn how to overcome it. On her journey, she realized how much negativity she was seeing in the world around her and how bad it was making her feel, so she went on a mission to start a content platform with only uplifting content. The standard for what makes it onto the platform is simply, “Does it make you feel good?” Learning to get really conscious about what she consumed, finding passion and joy in the everyday moments, and building healthy daily habits transformed Ione’s depression, and on today’s show, she shares how she did it. This episode is full of practical, grounded, accessible tips (like exercise and watching social media intake) that we ALL can use to cultivate a lifestyle of mental and emotional well-being. Listen to discover: - The tools that helped pull her out of depression - The ways social media affects our inner well-being - Post-traumatic growth and how we can turn trauma into positive change - How to find passion and joy in the day to day - Tips for overcoming depression and ruminating thoughts - The power of "reverse engineering" your life Whether you’re struggling with anxiety and depression or simply feeling weighed down by the state of the world around you, remember that you are what you consume and you have the power to choose things that nourish you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.   "The biggest change was recognizing those thoughts aren't true. I can change those thoughts." - Ione Butler   "We are what we consume...Everything we take in has an impact." - Ione Butler   "I think we all need to pause and ask ourselves, 'How does it make you feel?'" - Michelle Chalfant   "Our stories are so powerful...However, when we get stuck in them, we just spin in circles." - Michelle Chalfant   "Recognizing the impact the thoughts were having and changing the thoughts was a big one." - Ione Butler   "Every little bit helps, and it changes us." - Michelle Chalfant   "Everything begins with a thought. And the question is, "Are you going to believe that thought or not?'" - Michelle Chalfant   "Our mind is a tool." - Ione Butler   LINKS & RESOURCES Ione Butler Website https://ionebutler.com/   Uplifting Content Website https://upliftingcontent.com/   "Uplifting Stories" (Ione Butler book) https://www.amazon.com/Uplifting-Stories-Tales-Inspire-Every/dp/1982138238   "The Power of Now" https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808   The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Whether it’s eating healthier, getting exercise, starting a meditation practice or staying socially connected, figuring out what to do to be happy might be simple – but actually doing these things and living in a way that lets us experience happiness is much harder. When we know there are things we can do that will make us healthier and happier, why do we struggle to actually do them? Why do we get caught in a cycle of chasing happiness instead of choosing joy, even when we know better? This is what Gretchen Rubin wanted to understand when she began studying happiness and why people form the habits they do. It turns out that it has everything to do with how we relate to expectations. Gretchen discovered that there are four different “tendencies” that tell us how different people approach habits and expectations – whether we question expectations, comply with expectations, rebel against expectations or uphold them from within. We are born with our tendency and there’s no right or wrong way to be, but our ability to pursue happiness and form habits is directly connected to which tendency we’re wired with. In this episode, Gretchen describes each of the four tendencies in detail and ways to work with your type to go after the life you want. She also talks about habit formation and the different approaches to starting a new habit, so you can figure out which one works best for you! This is so fascinating and has major implications for how we structure our lives, how we work with each other in business and relationships and so much more! Listen to discover: Concrete steps we can take to start boosting our happiness The "four tendencies" personality framework The Upholder, The Obliger, The Questioner and The Rebel – four different ways we all respond to inner and outer expectations How your tendency impacts how you form habits How to overcome resistance and work with your tendency to be as successful and happy as possible Misconceptions about happiness and techniques to form better habits Though it's true that everyone is different in terms of what makes us happy, we're also all different in how we get to the things that make us happy. When we understand our wiring, we can overcome resistance and set ourselves up to achieve the life we want, in a way that is uniquely ours. "Our physical experience is always going to color our emotional experience." - Gretchen Rubin   "The key to happiness is relationships." - Gretchen Rubin   "Don't suit other people. Suit yourself." - Gretchen Rubin   "I'm a big believer in the genetic roots of personality." - Gretchen Rubin   "We can work with each other to help us all achieve our aims, but sometimes we have to provide a different way from what would work for us." - Gretchen Rubin   "Your communication style would change once you know this."  - Michelle Chalfant   "Happier people are more interested in the problems of the world." - Gretchen Rubin   "You have to take care of yourself. You have to put yourself first." - Michelle Chalfant   "When you're not indulging in a temptation, it goes away." - Gretchen Rubin   LINKS & RESOURCES Gretchen Rubin Website https://gretchenrubin.com/   Happier Podcast (Gretchen Rubin podcast) https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/   Gretchen Rubin Books https://gretchenrubin.com/books/   The Four Tendencies Quiz https://gretchenrubin.com/fourtendencies   The Happier App https://the-happiness-project.com/pages/happier-app   Gretchen Rubin Facebook https://www.facebook.com/GretchenRubin   Gretchen Rubin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gretchenrubin/   Gretchen Rubin LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/gretchenrubin   Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We live in a world that’s both more connected and more disconnected than ever. With things like Zoom, FaceTime, and social media, we can get in touch with others with the click of a button. But we also have an epidemic of loneliness. We scroll by each other without really engaging with each other. Even in our most intimate relationships, we can easily find ourselves co-existing without connecting at the heart level. The busyness of our world will naturally cause us to drift apart from each other without intentional effort, so a few years ago, my husband and I started building small “rituals of connection” into our week. These are moments – like our weekend coffee chats – that we’ve set aside to be fully present with each other and share more vulnerably, authentically, and from the heart. During one of our recent coffee chats, we had a beautiful conversation about how we can create more connection in our relationships with each other and others, and with Graham’s permission, I recorded our conversation to share with you all. In this conversation, we talk about the power of intentional connection, how important true connection is for maintaining trust and happiness in relationships, and how you can build moments of connection into a busy schedule. Graham shares one of his favorite tools to take a conversation deeper and how this tool can help people who might feel threatened by intimacy begin to flex their vulnerability muscles and move into a deeper relationship with their partner. Listen to discover: How you can build rituals of connection into your relationship Exercises to get the conversation flowing and create a deeper connection How to build up your ability to share emotions Ways to encourage your partner to share their emotions more Staying centered even when having a tough conversation The power of masterful listening and responding instead of reacting How to create more safety in your relationships It’s so easy to work and live alongside others but never really connect. If you’ve ever found yourself in a relationship or surrounded by people but still feeling lonely, this is why! But with small, intentional steps, we can totally transform the nature of our relationships and find those soul connections we’re all looking for. This episode gives an inside look into how two normal, busy people are practicing this together, and I hope it encourages you to start this journey with the ones you love – friends, family, partners, anyone! "Drop inside and...drop below the chin. Get curious about what's going on in the body." - Michelle Chalfant   "If you can't identify [the emotion], just get the sense of what's going on in your body and share that." - Michelle Chalfant   "Expressing that is easy for everybody, and it's a great opening to deeper conversations." - Graham Chalfant   "If we as humans had ideas about the range of emotions that we can feel, we would say more than, 'I'm mad, sad, glad, afraid or ashamed.'"  - Michelle Chalfant   "We have so many emotions we can feel, but we're not brought up to feel more emotions than those typical five."  - Michelle Chalfant   "See if you can't sit down with the person in your life and just touch base with a couple words." - Graham Chalfant   "It would be a huge improvement for most couples and people in relationships to touch base once a day or a couple times a week." - Graham Chalfant   "We're getting in the habit of exchanging energy in this way." - Michelle Chalfant   "You want to always own your experience...that is a much more open way of inviting in that other person to discuss it versus putting that person in defense." - Michelle Chalfant   "Swooping in and fixing when someone feels bad is the worst thing that you can do for a relationship." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

As human beings, we are hardwired to heal. Think about it: if you get a cut or a scrape, your body naturally repairs itself. If you get a cold or flu, your immune system kicks in to fight off the invader and keep you healthy.   Healing is our birthright…so if we’re experiencing disease, it’s a sign that something is blocking our natural ability to heal.   Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary is a neurologist and Ayurvedic medicine expert who looks at healing through the lens of energy and harmony, bringing the mind, body, and soul into balance so the body can do what it was designed to do: heal itself.   Though the cause of disease can be physical, such as a toxin, or emotional, such as unprocessed trauma, the key isn’t to treat symptoms but to go in and remove the blocks in our energy so healing can once again flow through the body.   Dr. Chaudhary calls this “quantum biology,” using energy, sound, and frequency (since we are made of energy after all) to change our bodies at the cellular level.   In this absolutely fascinating episode, Dr. Chaudhary talks about the science of Ayurveda, the emotional connection to chronic disease, why sound and frequency has such power to heal and how we can flip the script on how we think about health and wholeness in today’s world.   Listen to discover: The roots of Ayurveda and why it's about living in harmony and balance Why health is our birthright The root of sickness and why the source of sickness can be physical or emotional The choices and changes we can make to live in more harmony and health Understanding the biology of energy and how science is catching up to ancient ideas about energy What "sound medicine" is and the different types of mantras you can use for healing A demo of Dr. Chaudhary’s chakra mantra Next steps you can take to put Dr. Chaudhary’s approach into practice Because of her neurology background, Dr. Chaudhary has an amazing ability to take these ancient concepts and ground them in science, helping us bring these beautiful ancient practices into our modern world.   This show gives me so much hope for the future and reminds me why the work we’re doing in The Adult Chair® is so powerful: because healing our trauma changes us at the cellular level.   “It just woke me up to a way of integrating the view of the body and mind to create health in a much more efficient way.” - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   "That's how we're supposed to live: in harmony and balance with everything." - Michelle Chalfant   "This was an approach to living where health was the natural repercussion of living with consciousness about our relationship with the planet and our relationship with each other." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   "When you understand who you really are and when you get to that part of union with nature, the laws of nature change." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   "If we're constantly healing, then what's keeping us sick?" - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   "Our normal set point is of excellent health." - Michelle Chalfant   "In my experience, anything that has been chronic over time has a psychological component." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   "The body is a map to the mind." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   "Our cells are singing...and when we become diseased, they change their tune." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   "The chakra system is the highway where all of these energetic systems suddenly collide." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   "The sounds that you yourself make in terms of your thoughts, the words that you speak, are shaping your health." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary   LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary Website https://drkulreetchaudhary.com/   "Sound Medicine"  (Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary book) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062867334   Healthy Directions https://www.healthydirections.com/dr-kulreet-chaudhary   Chakra Mantra Demo starts at 53:45 in the episode   The Adult Chair® Membership (June Theme: Grounding) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Whether you love manifesting or you’re still a little skeptical, I want you to consider one thing: if the Law of Attraction really is a law of nature, like gravity, is it possible that it is working in your life whether you know it or not?   Is it possible that your unconscious beliefs are shaping your reality in ways you don’t realize – or want – simply because you haven’t chosen another way of thinking?   This was the reality of Dr. Joe Vitale’s life when he was homeless and living on the floor of the Dallas library. A lifelong learner with a love for books, he would spend hours in the self-development section, trying to figure out what was keeping him stuck in life. He realized he was carrying a tremendous amount of limiting beliefs, including the belief that he needed to suffer to be successful, and these beliefs were the very reason he was in the circumstances he was in.   As he changed his beliefs, he changed his entire life from his finances to his career, and today he’s a wildly successful author, actor, musician and guru on the Law of Attraction – and I was so honored to speak with him on today’s show.   Dr. Joe helps explain the Law of Attraction and how it works on a practical level, showing how what we focus on is what we get, and walks us through a beautiful Hawaiian process for healing ourselves and those around us. I asked him all the tough questions and got all of the answers for you, so you can look at this concept through a new lens and start creating the life you want!   Listen to discover: How Dr. Joe went from being homeless to being a wildly successful author, actor and musician – just by shifting his beliefs Where to start getting the life you want What the law of attraction is and why it can work for you (even if you don't think so) The importance of choosing love instead of fear for creating the life you want Why your unconscious beliefs make all the difference in manifestation  The power of the ho'oponopono prayer and how to use it At the end of the day, the Law of Attraction is based on the idea that we see and get more of what we focus on. Wouldn’t you rather focus on love than on fear or hate, no matter what – and especially if doing so was directly connected to the reality you were living? This is an awesome show to help you get started on that path and begin to see that miracles ARE possible!  “The inner work is what got me here.” - Dr. Joe Vitale   “In order to change the outside reality, you gotta go inside.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You’re not purposely, consciously choosing most of these beliefs. Most of them you’ve absorbed.” - Dr. Joe Vitale   “The ‘how’ is the number one thing that stops people.” - Dr. Joe Vitale   "Fear and hate are two of the most powerful manifesting emotions that there are." - Dr. Joe Vitale   "Emotion is fire for creating what you want." - Dr. Joe Vitale   "The law of attraction is how your brain works. It is bringing to you what you're focused on." - Dr. Joe Vitale   “I love working with the unconscious mind because that is where, to me, the magic is." - MIchelle Chalfant   “It seems to me the only limits we have are mental constructs.” - Dr. Joe Vitale   LINKS & RESOURCES    Dr. Joe Vitale Website https://joevitale.com/    Zero Limits Living (Joe Vitale TV Show) https://zerolimitslivingtv.com/    “Zero Limits” (one of many Joe Vitale books) https://www.amazon.com/Zero-Limits-Secret-Hawaiian-System/dp/0470402563    “Homeless to Billionaire” (Andres Pira with Dr. Joe Vitale book) https://www.amazon.com/Homeless-Billionaire-Principles-Attraction-Opportunity/dp/1946633860    The Adult Chair® Membership (June theme: Grounding) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

I’m sure we all have an image that comes into our minds when we think about psychedelics – probably something related to hippies, jam bands, and wild colors and shapes. But what if there’s something more to these substances? What if they could be powerful tools for healing? I know, I know: when I first heard people ask that question, I was skeptical too. I thought of psychedelics as drugs, and I definitely don’t advocate for drug use or numbing out instead of feeling emotions. But when I started researching the history of psychedelics and how they are being used in therapeutic settings, I began to open my mind to their possibilities, and I invite you to approach this episode with an open mind as well. My guest today, Paul Austin, is a young entrepreneur leading the charge on making responsible, therapeutic use of psychedelics more understood and accepted. As Paul explains in the episode, the reason psychedelics have such healing potential is that they make the unconscious mind manifest, so we can see our shadow beliefs and understand the "why" behind some of the patterns in our lives. They can help us process trauma without activating the fear response in the brain and help us see life from a new perspective, which can heal anxiety, depression, PTSD and other issues at the source. Paul does an amazing job breaking down the most common psychedelics, exactly how they work in the brain and what the experience is like with each one. We talk about the importance of intention, environment, and dosage (we are NOT advocating for using these at, say, Bonnaroo) and why it's essential to have a therapist with you in the experience.    Listen to discover: What a psychedelic actually is A breakdown of the common psychedelics  The importance of using these substances in a therapeutic setting for proper dosing, guidance, and integration of the experience  Demystifying the psychedelic experience  How various psychedelics work in the brain and what each one is helpful in treating What microdosing is and how it works Psychedelics are an intriguing topic that I actually get asked about a lot, and I hope you guys enjoy this research-driven episode that just might change your mind about these powerful plant medicines.  "The word 'psychedelic' literally means 'mind manifesting.'" - Paul Austin   "Psychedelics are phenomenal ways that we can heal unknown aspects of self." - Michelle Chalfant   "There's a way to do this appropriately and consciously and in a healthy way." - Michelle Chalfant   "What ketamine does neurologically, or to the brain if you will, is that it does a phenomenal job of dissolving the ego." - Paul Austin   "A lot of these mental health conditions, whether it's anxiety, depression or OCD, are caused by rigidity in the brain." - Paul Austin   "That inner healing intelligence that's so often shut down, psychedelics often help to bring that to the forefront."  - Paul Austin   "We look at things one way. And with a psychedelic, you get to look at it from a higher perspective and from a different perspective." - Michelle Chalfant   "Oftentimes the healing potential from psilocybin is because you're basically facing your trauma head on." - Paul Austin   "Having someone to help you integrate is hugely important. You have to have a therapist or a guide or someone that sits with you." - Michelle Chaflant   LINKS & RESOURCES  The Third Wave (Paul Austin Company) https://thethirdwave.co/    Paul Austin Website https://www.paulaustin.co/   Paul Austin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/paulaustin3w/    Paul Austin Twitter https://twitter.com/PaulAustin3w    Episode #228: Breakthrough Treatments For Anxiety, Depression And Stress with Dr. David Rabin https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/228/    Fantastic Fungi https://fantasticfungi.com/watch/    "A Really Good Day"  https://www.amazon.com/Really-Good-Day-Microdosing-Difference/dp/1664458972   Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/    MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all experience emotions, but most of us don’t really understand what emotions are. These feelings can drastically alter our day, our life and our experience in the world, yet they’re intangible and often messy and confusing. It’s no wonder many of us try to avoid them altogether.    Well, get ready to have your mind blown and to see emotions in a whole new light in this brilliant episode with Dr. Joan Rosenberg. Dr. Rosenberg began her study of emotions when she was trying to figure out what made some people confident in life, and her finding was surprising: confidence didn’t just come from a sense of self-esteem but from our ability to handle uncomfortable emotions.   As she dug deeper into the human emotional experience, she uncovered a world of surprises around our understanding of emotions and how we can better process, experience and master our emotions.    We talked about why emotions are so uncomfortable for us (it’s not why you think), what a compliment really is and why it matters so much, what drives fear, anxiety and grief, our fears around emotions and how we get stuck in emotion. Dr. Joan also shares her formula for feeling, experiencing and expressing the eight core emotions in an authentic way that helps them truly move through us.   Listen to discover: The unexpected key to building confidence "The Rosenberg Reset" formula to build confidence The 3 things that cause our uncomfortable feelings to linger (it's not the feelings themselves!) Steps to build more confidence  The true power of a compliment (this one left me speechless) What's actually underneath fear and anxiety   Why we need to both feel AND express our emotions As much as I talk about emotions, I was still left speechless more than once in this episode as Dr. Rosenberg got to the heart of what is really beneath certain emotions and my perspective was shifted in so many ways. This is a truly empowering show that will help you live a more balanced and confident life.   “We need to learn as humans how to feel our emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant    “The ability or the capacity to handle unpleasant feelings really is the foundation of confidence.” - Dr Joan Rosenberg   “I think of confidence as the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever you pursue.” - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "We're one interconnected whole...The brain is always feeding information to the body, and the body is always feeding information to the brain." Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "It comes down to handling short-lived bodily sensation waves." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "100% of the time that sensation morphs and vanishes if they stay with it." - Michelle Chalfant   "We metabolize feeling by feeling it and expressing it." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "If you want to stop your ruminating thoughts, you have to feel the emotion that's underneath the rumination." - Michelle Chalfant   "I think of the ability to speak up as the superglue to confidence." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "A compliment is a reflection of you back to you." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "What looks like arrogance is insecurity." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   "Disguised grief is the gap between what we wanted, what we needed, what we felt we deserved and what we really got." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg   LINKS & RESOURCES  Dr. Joan Rosenberg https://drjoanrosenberg.com/     “90 Seconds to a Life You Love” (Dr. Joan Rosenberg book) https://www.amazon.com/Seconds-Life-You-Love-Authenticity/dp/1478999764     Dr. Joan Rosenberg TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKy19WzkPxE     MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as humans. Even simple rejections like not making the team or being chosen for a job – things we know aren’t personal – still sting deeply. Why does rejection seem to hit at the core of who we are? Susan Anderson began asking this question when she went through a personal experience of abandonment. The love of her life left her suddenly for another woman, and although she was a practicing psychotherapist with immense knowledge of the human mind, she still found herself in emotional crisis and doubting herself and her worthiness.  As she dug more into this topic, she discovered that we as humans have a primal abandonment wound – a universal experience that begins when we are born and go from deep union and connection with our mother to a feeling of being separate. This creates deep shame and causes us to search for belonging and worthiness throughout our lives. And this is why rejection hurts so much: it triggers this deep fear that we might not belong and we might not be worthy.  In this fascinating and important episode, Susan shares her discoveries on the topic of abandonment, why we experience it the ways we do and how a whole host of other issues in our lives can stem from this wound. We discussed why healing abandonment trauma looks different from healing other traumas, the five stages of healing and the tools (all of which are part of The Adult Chair® model) that can heal it.   Listen to discover: The hidden shame we all have and the root of it The different defences we put up against shame How to raise our awareness to our abandonment wounds Why healing from abandonment looks different from other forms of trauma healing Steps to healing abandonment wounding How working with abandonment wounding can help with people pleasing, codependency and self-sabotage  5 stages of processing abandonment hurt  The primal wound of abandonment is also an opportunity for primal healing. When we learn to love and accept ourselves as worthy and recognize how deeply connected we truly are, we not only heal our abandonment wound, but we can change almost anything in our lives.   "The loneliness is sort of a secondary feeling. The primary is the primal fear and the shame of maybe never being worthy of keeping someone." - Susan Anderson   "The personality itself is a defence against the shame." - Susan Anderson   "When we look at a relationship that ends, it is a retraumatization of what we experienced as a child." - Michelle Chalfant   "The history that leads to a strong reaction in adulthood to abandonment could be very subtle." - Susan Anderson   "You have to take this step, and you go through it...The pain is there, but you go through it, and you get to the other side." - Michelle Chalfant   "Your adult self can now develop an intense, loving, reassuring relationship with your inner child."  - Susan Anderson   "It turns this awful emotional crisis that's so painful into an opportunity for something that's probably long overdue, which is self-love." - Susan Anderson   "Doing these steps, you will become an even better, stronger, more self-loving person on the other side of it...even stronger than you were prior to this abandonment wound." - Michelle Chalfant   "The kind of self-love that we're developing is deeper, more mature self-love...the kind of love you give yourself because you respect yourself so much." - Susan Anderson   "We have to stop looking outside of self and turn our attention inward. That's where healing, that's where love, that's where hope, that's where peace, that's where all the things are that we're looking for outside of ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant   "When the adult gets strong and is in command, it limits all of this self-sabotage." - Susan Anderson   LINKS & RESOURCES  Susan Anderson Website (all workshops and resources can be found here) https://www.abandonment.net/  https://abandonmentrecovery.com    "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" (Susan Anderson book) https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Surviving-Recovering/dp/0425273539    The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: How to stop negative thinking)  https://theadultchair.com/membership/   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE deep conversation, and in this show, I’m letting you in on a beautiful conversation I had with my husband during one of our weekly coffee chats. This was totally unplanned, but as our chat turned into a conversation about the soul, connection and spiritual practice, I felt such important information coming through and hit “record” so all of you could join us in thinking about how to live a more grounded and loving life.   As humans, most of us live from the place of ego. We stay busy to push down our feelings of loneliness and separateness and miss the presence of something bigger that’s in front of us at all times. When we connect into this deeper part of self, we find comfort, inspiration, ideas and unconditional love.    So, how do we do this? I believe it’s through a “soul practice” of stillness. Stillness is different from meditation, which is quieting the mind to observe our thoughts. Stillness, on the other hand, is stopping all the “doing” and chatter of life and tuning into the deeper parts of our being – our soul.    While this might seem like something reserved for the monks or Zen masters, we can ALL make this a part of life – without quitting our jobs, skirting our responsibilities or even really changing our schedule. In this episode, I share what my soul practice looks like and how I work stillness into my day, one minute at a time.   Listen to discover: Steps to connect with your soul Why even meditation can be driven by the ego How to integrate “micro-moments” of stillness into your day The importance of stopping the constant "doing" and instead just "being" The source of inspiration and comfort How to live a more heart-centered life connected to something bigger True stillness is not ego-driven or another task to cross off our list. It's letting go and just “being” so that something more can come in.  When you get to the end of this episode, I challenge you to sit in stillness for just one minute (and I literally mean 60 seconds!) and make space for your soul. It’s the place I’m striving to live from more and more each day. “The soul is never not with us. The human body is a garage for the soul.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The ideas come when I sit in these moments of stillness.” - Michelle Chalfant    “For me at least, and I think many other people, the meditation feels like more doing. So, even though it’s quieting the mind, you’re doing something.” - Graham Chalfant    “Micro-moments of stillness create relaxation in the nervous system.” - Michelle Chalfant    “One of the fastest ways to slow yourself down is to slow your breath down.” - Michelle Chalfant    “The revolutionary part is that this is the “‘not doing.’” - Graham Chalfant    “When sitting in stillness, we are able to connect with that thing that we all have come from.” - Michelle Chalfant    “If you’d stop doing and stop running so far ahead, the comfort’s right here.” - Graham Chalfant   "We're looking for that connection home again, and home is right inside of all of us."  - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: How to stop negative thinking)  https://theadultchair.com/membership/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Let’s talk about sex, baby! Our sexuality is a core part of ourselves and the human experience, but for too long, we’ve treated sex as a taboo subject. Well, in this episode, we’re “going there” and hopefully breaking down some walls and shame in the process.   My guest on this episode, Dr. Holly Richmond, is a marriage and family therapist, sex therapist and somatic (body-based) therapist who helps individuals and couples heal trauma and find greater intimacy and connection with themselves and each other. In this episode, we talk about why sexuality (and talking about it) is healthy and necessary and how we can create healthier and more passionate sexual connection, even in long-term relationships.   We also talk about what sexual trauma is (and why it includes more than just assault or abuse), how it affects our sexual development and how we can reclaim our sexual selves and the pleasure we deserve.   Listen to discover: What happens to sexual desire in long-term relationships Why there is so much shame around talking about sex How to talk to kids about sex and the risks of being exposed to porn too early What sexual trauma is and how it impacts us Healing from childhood sexual trauma How to reclaim pleasure and reignite passion at any age Sexuality is so much more than the physical relationship we have with another person. It’s our experience of passion in the world (“eroticism” refers to our life force, not just our body), and it tells us so much about ourselves. This is why it’s so important to stay connected to this part of ourselves no matter our relationship status, if we’re young and in love or if we have been with our person for years. I hope this episode gives you the freedom to acknowledge, love and prioritize this part of yourself and to live a more passionate and embodied life.  “The seat of human sexuality, the seat of desire is novelty.” - Dr. Holly Richmond   “A lot of western culture, sex and shame go hand in hand.” - Dr. Holly Richmond   “Sexual trauma is any experience that feels violating in a sexual way.” - Dr. Holly Richmond   “If someone is being sexually coercive, that is a sexual trauma for some people.” - Dr. Holly Richmond   “We have to take the whole construct of ourselves into the equation.” - Dr. Holly Richmond   “We’re taught to judge the body.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Eroticism means life force.” -  Dr. Holly Richmond   “So many of us suffer in silence, and we need to start talking about this. Sex is not a bad word.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Dr. Holly Richmond Website https://drhollyrichmond.com    Dr. Holly Richmond Facebook https://m.facebook.com/DrHollyRichmond    Dr. Holly Richmond Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drhollyrichmond/    “Reclaiming Pleasure” (Dr. Holly Richmond book) https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com    Dr. Holly Richmond Course https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com    Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When Brian Pennie was just a few weeks old, a medical condition nearly killed him, and the surgery the doctors performed to save his life was done without anesthesia, a common practice for young infants at the time (based on the faulty belief that infants couldn’t feel pain). Though Brian doesn’t consciously remember the surgery, his body remembered, and this early childhood trauma would define how he approached the world for the next several decades of his life.   From this experience, he learned that the world was a painful, dangerous place, and he developed anxiety at a very young age. When he was a teenager, he finally found an anesthetic to numb the pain from so many years ago: heroin. He spent 15 years addicted to the drug until he found himself in the hospital, unemployed and worried he was brain dead, and he finally let go and surrendered.    That moment of surrender led to an awakening in his life where he was able to connect with something bigger and experience the beauty in the world after years of numbness. He began studying meditation, neuroscience and the ways our thoughts, beliefs and self-talk shape our reality, and he was able to heal addiction at the source by healing the trauma and anxiety that he had been trying to escape.   In this incredible episode, Brian tells his powerful story of addiction and healing and then breaks down the science behind how he healed and how all of us can use meditation, breathwork, positive self-talk and inner child work (hello, Adult Chair® tools!) to rewire our brains – whether we’re struggling with addiction, depression, anxiety, trauma or low self-worth.    Listen to discover: Brian's story of medical trauma, addiction and how he got clean How stopping negative self-talk transformed his path in life The science of stress and fear and how the breath can help us control this What self-talk is and how we can use it in an empowering way How to challenge your beliefs and how this changes your internal dialogue The link between self-talk and emotions Action steps to break the cycle of negative self-talk Little ways to start breaking out of depression The key to getting over addiction issues Brian shares his story with so much vulnerability and authenticity, and he truly embodies The Adult Chair life. This episode will move you, inspire you and show you how we can change the story we’re living by changing the story we’re telling ourselves.  “I don’t remember the operation, but my body remembers.” - Brian Pennie   “I never had the general anesthetic as an infant, but when I was 17, I had done heroin for the first time, and I found my anesthetic.”  - Brian Pennie   “The narrative of my life was ‘I cannot cope with anxiety. I need drugs to survive’…I wanted to escape me." - Brian Pennie   "That was the moment when I put up the white flag, and in order to move forward, I had to fall down...I surrendered, and I believe that was the start of all the changes in my life." - Brian Pennie   “I couldn’t see the thinker because the thinker was me.”  - Brian Pennie   "Awareness is the catalyst for change." - Brian Pennie   "By changing your beliefs, you change your internal dialogue, you change your self-talk. By changing your self-talk, you change how you feel, you change the consequences of your actions and ultimately change your life." - Brian Pennie   "Watch that absolute thinking that says we ‘never ever.’ It keeps us stuck. It keeps us limited." - Michelle Chalfant   "The more I worked with my internal state and my emotions, things started to change." - Michelle Chalfant   "We do a lot of inner child work with The Adult Chair. It's powerful, powerful work." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Brian Pennie Website https://www.brianpennie.com    "Bonus Time" (Brian Pennie book) https://www.amazon.com/Bonus-Time-surviving-discovering-everyday/dp/0717186350    Free Inner Child Course https://theadultchair.com/innerchild    Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

If you’ve been around The Adult Chair® for a minute, you’ve heard me say that happiness is an inside job. We are so prone to believe that joy comes from our external circumstances, which leads us to strive and strive for what we think will finally make us happy and blame others for our unhappiness. But the reality is that nothing outside of us will be able to make us happy if we don’t first cultivate a sense of joy and peace within. My guest today, Monique Rhodes, discovered this truth when she went on her own journey of understanding what makes some people happy in life while others suffer. Though today she works as a happiness strategist and calls herself “annoyingly happy,” this wasn’t always the case. After a difficult childhood and a number of tragedies, she ended up in the hospital after attempting to take her own life, which led her to explore a wide range of cultures, philosophies and practices to figure out if happiness was something she could actually create in her life. And it turns out, she could!  In this episode, Monique shares the practical habits she uses every day to cultivate a sense of happiness in her life and why they make such a difference in our mental state. These are all simple, free and fast practices that work by shifting our minds towards the positive and helping us see the good that already exists in our world.    Listen to discover: The strategies that helped her go from depression to daily happiness  Practical tools to increase happiness  What meditation is and what it isn’t  The cause of suffering How taking responsibility for our lives changes everything  Building healthy social connections for happiness  How to get out of a funk or take steps toward happiness if you’re feeling depressed We’ve all had that experience where we finally get the job, the house, the relationship, the body or whatever it is we’ve been wanting only to find that nothing about our lives really changes; we still feel sad, depressed or lonely. This is proof that our mental state is what drives our happiness, not things!  Using the practices in this episode, you can turn up the positive in your life, which will help you find joy no matter your circumstances and help you be more present with the good things that do happen in your life – the icing on the cake of an already happy and peaceful life.   “Where we live is in our mind, and when was the last time that we cleaned out our mind?” - Monique Rhodes   “We believe that happiness and suffering comes from our external circumstances. But it doesn’t. It comes from that mind that we just do not take care of.” - Monique Rhodes   “We have emotional reactions that are triggered usually by things that happened in the past.” - Monique Rhodes   “A meditation practice every day is a game changer.” - Monique Rhodes   “With meditation, consistency is way more important than intensity.” - Monique Rhodes   “Commit to something that you’re willing to commit to, and if you don’t have 10 minutes out of a whole day, you really gotta think about your life.” - Michelle Chalfant   “I think being happy is our birthright.” - Monique Rhodes   “You can find gratitude in anything. You just have to look.” - Michelle Chalfant    LINKS & RESOURCES  Monique Rhodes Website https://moniquerhodes.com/    The Adult Chair® Membership (April Theme: Emotional Regulation) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You think you’re a good person, you genuinely love your partner and you try to do the right thing …so why are you struggling in your relationship? Why do you and your partner feel unhappy, disconnected and maybe even headed for divorce?   These are the questions Matt Fray asked himself after his marriage ended. He knew he was a decent guy. He knew he had loved his wife, been faithful and done the things he thought he was “supposed” to do in a marriage – yet one day she came to him and asked for a divorce. As he walked through the grief and pain of that experience, he began a journey of self-reflection and blogging to try to understand what went wrong and how people can truly have healthy relationships.    What he uncovered was a series of small habits and dynamics that added up in his relationship and eroded trust and safety over time…and that these dynamics exist in nearly all relationships, including relationships made up of good people who really do love each other. Now, he’s on a mission to help good people become good partners by understanding the root of relationship problems and how to fix them.   In this episode, Matt reveals the invisible habits that kill relationships, how we can turn our relationships around and how to build trust, safety and lifelong love.   Listen to discover: Matt’s story of his marriage ending and what he did next The habits and blind spots that damage and even destroy our relationships The three ways we invalidate people unintentionally Why defensiveness can be so damaging The importance of empathy and consideration in relationships How to break the cycle of invalidation and build trust and safety  Nothing in life is static. Either we’re cultivating our relationships and on a trajectory of trust or we’re neglecting our relationships and on a trajectory of breakdown. Too often, we can’t see this trajectory until it all falls apart. I love Matt’s work because he’s helping us open our eyes to the invisible ways we’re either creating or damaging our relationships, even when things seem “fine,” and giving us one of the most important gifts a person can have: the power of choice to do things differently and change the trajectory we’re on. “There’s so much power in that ‘I’m not alone’ experience.” - Matt Fray   “That’s when healing truly began — when I took ownership and responsibility for my lot in life.” - Matt Fray   “When you think you’re a good person, it’s so easy to not accept responsibility for harm that’s being experienced by someone else.”- Matt Fray   “Very good people who really, truly love each other can do this to one another.” - Matt Fray   “Once you associate invalidation with the erosion of trust, then you can make the conscious decision to validate.” - Matt Fray   “When we go through something unusual, it is our job to share, ‘You know, I really need help with this,’ and it’s our partner’s job to show up and say, ‘I’ve got you.’” - Michelle Chalfant   “It’s not about being right – it’s being there in it with that person.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The low-hanging fruit…is ‘I’m not going to invalidate.’” - Matt Fray   LINKS & RESOURCES    Matt Fray Website https://matthewfray.com/    “This Is How Your Marriage Ends” (Matt Fray book) https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships/dp/0063072254/    “The Mask You Live In” Documentary https://therepproject.org/films/the-mask-you-live-in/    The Adult Chair® Membership (April Theme: Emotional Regulation) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When we’re born into the world, we’re born into a set of assumptions and norms. When this is all we’ve known, we think this is just the way the world works — but what if it’s all just an illusion? What if there’s another way to live – outside of the status quo – and how can you manifest that life for yourself?   Yemi Penn calls this “bending reality,” and, no, she’s not talking about some kind of Star Wars-like force – she’s talking about questioning societal norms, thinking outside of the box for ourselves and removing what gets in the way of the life we want to live. After experiencing childhood trauma and a period of homelessness, Yemi decided it was up to her to transform her trauma and turn it into a gift. This led her to live all over the world, run four successful businesses, tell stories through books and documentaries and build a life inspiring others to overcome fear, find their power and grow into their potential.   In this episode, we discuss healing from trauma, how we can reframe our norms and preconceived ideas about life and four steps to radical change – first in our minds and then in our reality.   Listen to discover: The definition of trauma Methods that work well for healing trauma What "bending reality" is and how to break out of the status quo Four steps for radical change  The role of ego and identity  The power of suspending disbelief and seeing possibilities for your life I love Yemi’s perspective because this isn’t pie-in-the-sky thinking or idealism. It’s grounded in science, authenticity and real-life experiences of overcoming trauma and failure in order to show that anything is possible. She is a phenomenal person with so much wisdom to share, and I hope this inspires you to live a bold life of connection, bravery and power.   What is a reality you would dream of for yourself if there were no societal conventions and expectations holding you back? What if you decided they didn’t matter?    "I'm asking the question, 'Can trauma be transformative?'" - Yemi Penn   "I think there's so much wisdom in our own bodies that we haven't even connected with." - Yemi Penn   "We need to start trusting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant    "Bending reality is almost removing yourself from the reality that we all appear to live in...It means not signing up for what we have been told is the only way to be." - Yemi Penn   "Bending reality for me is beginning to learn how to dance with the fear of criticism." - Yemi Penn    "Pretend you were not in this version of reality and you were somebody else. Who would you need to be to make it happen?" - Yemi Penn   "The ego really puts us in these boxes and says, 'No, you have to do it this way.'" - Michelle Chalfant    "You can't expect life to show up differently. You have to have radical change." - Michelle Chalfant   "We have to subtract the fear from that innate power we have that most of us have forgotten." - Yemi Penn   LINKS & RESOURCES    Yemi Penn Website  https://www.yemipenn.com/   Yemi Penn TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrKE2vMamA4    Yemi Penn Documentary https://www.yemipenn.com/documentary    “Did You Get the Memo?” (Yemi Penn book) https://www.yemipenn.com/book    Yemi Penn Facebook https://www.facebook.com/YemiPenn/    Yemi Penn Instagram https://www.instagram.com/yemi.penn    MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Events  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

There's a funny meme I see floating around the internet that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was winter."   It's a joke, but as always, there's truth in humor – and the reality is that winter REALLY does affect our mood (and how we react to others) at a scientific level.   This is due to something called "seasonal affective disorder," or SAD, and it has everything to do with the amount of sunlight we're getting and how it affects our brains. It can even show up as major depression. And in today's episode, I'm interviewing the scientist who discovered this phenomenon himself, Dr. Norman Rosenthal.   Dr. Rosenthal is a fascinating man who loves everything from science to poetry and how people can experience greater well-being. He is passionate about, quite literally, bringing more light to this world, and he shares the creative and scientific process of how he and his colleagues discovered SAD, how they tested light therapy for SAD, who SAD affects the most, and some steps we can all take to make it through the winter.   Listen to discover: His story of discovering seasonal affective disorder What SAD actually is and how it works The genetic and hormonal roots of SAD The difference between the winter blues and SAD The benefits of light therapy Surprising healing tools like poetry and Botox Rosenthal’s latest work with poetry for healing As we spring forward and April is around the corner, I’m beginning to feel a sense of hope and reawakening, but we’re not out of the woods yet. SAD is still affecting our friends in the Southern Hemisphere, in places that get a lot of rain like Seattle and England, and any of us who don’t spend enough time getting out in the light. So, here’s your reason to get up from your desk and take a walk around the block on the next sunny day – maybe with a book of poetry in hand. "Where previously you'd only seen light as a vehicle for vision, now you see it as a vehicle for well-being."  - Dr. Norman Rosenthal   "It's genetic, it's hormonal and it's environmental." - Dr. Norman Rosenthal   "SAD is actually a form of major depression." - Dr. Norman Rosenthal   “I’m a great believer in training yourself to realize when you’re getting enough light.” - Dr. Norman Rosenthal   “I don’t think a lot of people understand that this is what happens to so many of us [in the winter months].” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you really sit and listen or when you’re reading [poetry], it just speaks to our soul.”  - Michelle Chalfant   "As a human, we get to experience everything from love to fear and everything in between. They're rich, beautiful emotions – every single one of them." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES  “Poetry Rx”  (Dr. Norman Rosenthal book) https://www.amazon.com/Poetry-Rx-Inspiring-Poems-Bring/dp/172250546X   “Winter Blues” (Dr. Norman Rosenthal book) https://www.amazon.com/Winter-Blues-Fourth-Everything-Affective/dp/1609181859   Verilux HappyLight https://verilux.com/collections/happylight-therapy-lamps-boxes   Carex Day-Light https://carex.com/products/carex-day-light-classic-plus-light-therapy-sun-lamp   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Does it ever feel like other people in your life just have more capacity than you? They float through busy social calendars, difficult family situations, work stress and world events while you feel overwhelmed, bogged down and exhausted. You wonder what’s wrong with you and if they’re right: you really are too sensitive.   If that sounds like you, there is NOTHING wrong with you; you just might be an empath or highly sensitive person (HSP) – someone who takes in more emotions, energy and input from the world around you.   Being an empath or highly sensitive person is something that many people live with, but many don’t know it (or even know that it’s a thing!). And while being an empath can be an amazing gift, it can also create challenges in life when we’re unaware.   Because we feel others’ emotions so deeply, it can be very emotionally overwhelming and even lead to depression, anxiety and numbing behaviors if we don’t have self-care strategies in our toolbox. This was the story of my life for years until I learned to honor this part of myself, set good boundaries and recharge!   In this episode, I’m helping you understand the difference between an empath and a HSP, the signs you might be an empath and steps to take care of yourself if these traits resonate with you.   Listen to discover: The definition of an empath and a HSP The difference between empathy and being an empath 13 traits of empaths How to raise awareness to these traits in yourself Survival and self-care strategies for empaths and HSPs Empaths and HSPs don’t have any less capacity or ability to handle life than anyone else. They don’t need to “toughen up” or get thicker skin, and there’s no such thing as being too sensitive. In reality, empaths and HSPs are very strong people who are just taking in more of the world than the average person. Through self-care, we can learn to manage all the “inputs” coming in and create time to recharge, so we can balance our wonderful sensitivity with our needs. I hope the strategies in this episode help you survive and thrive in an overwhelming world without numbing out or squashing your beautiful empathetic gifts. “There’s a big difference between just someone who’s sensitive with a lot of empathy and an empath.” - Michelle Chalfant   “An empath is highly attuned to the energy of others.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We’re picking up on other people's emotions and we think they’re ours.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If you are moody, if you feel low a lot, even if you’re depressed, it could be that you’re taking on too many people’s emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant   “I learned not to open myself up to everybody’s problems.” - Michelle Chalfant   “No matter what you are – HSP or empath – please practice excellent self-care.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES   Empath Meditation for Cleansing and Clearing Your Energy https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/empath-meditation-for-cleansing-and-clearing-your-energy/   A Guided Meditation for Cleansing Relationships and Cutting Cords https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-for-cleansing-relationships-and-cutting-cords/   The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification     STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Relationships are one of the most basic human needs, but building healthy relationships takes self-awareness and work. While we talk a lot about behaviors that can make a relationship unhealthy, such as narcissism and gaslighting (which are both more than unhealthy – they’re abuse), I thought it was time to talk about what makes a relationship a keeper.  What traits can you look to as your benchmark to see if your relationship is healthy and what should you aspire to if you’re working on creating healthier relationships in your life? In this episode, I’m sharing eight traits that healthy relationships have in common – whether that’s a relationship with a partner, friend, family member or anyone!    Listen to discover: The 8 qualities of a healthy relationship What an apology is and what it isn’t How to have open, honest communication Relationship truths to live by This doesn’t mean you have to get this right 100% of the time to be healthy, but healthy people DO work to repair mistakes and deepen connection, and that is what these practices will help you do. Remember that, while it takes two to tango, you can change the dance of your relationship just by working on yourself. As you live more authentically from your Adult Chair, you will find the way you respond to others and the way you show up and communicate changes. If you’re in a relationship with another healthy individual, they will be drawn to match your energy and meet you with more authenticity, vulnerability and openness – the keys to connection.  “We don’t need to change other people to become who we want them to be.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If you hurt someone you care about, you apologize.” - Michelle Chalfant   “People in healthy relationships are interested in knowing what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We remember to use the word ‘I’ and not ‘you.’ We express OUR needs.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Relationships take work – they really do.” - Michelle Chalfant    LINKS & RESOURCES  Episode #302: Gaslighting 101 https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/302-gaslighting-101/    Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/    Episode #261: How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/261/    Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/    MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When we think of trauma, many of us think of war, a car accident or a major, life-altering event. Though all of these events are certainly traumatic, they are only one type of trauma – what we often call “big T” trauma.   But there are many other forms of subtler trauma, including small events that happen over and over again (especially in childhood), that overwhelm our nervous systems and shape the way we move through the world. I would argue that most humans have had some sort of trauma in their lives, and you’d be surprised by how many times I’ve sat with clients who didn’t even know they had trauma. Heck, it took me decades to realize I had trauma from childhood!    I think this is partly because trauma is such a loaded word, so on today’s show, I’m talking with a trauma expert, Ilene Smith, about what trauma actually is, how to notice if we’re living with trauma and how to heal it.   Listen to discover:   What trauma is  Clues that you might be living with trauma How trauma affects attachment style as adults  What trauma bonding is How to heal a dysregulated nervous system  Steps to heal trauma starting today      Here’s the thing about trauma: it has less to do with what actually happened (the event) and everything to do with how that event was interpreted and processed by our nervous system. Even small things can be overwhelming to the nervous system when they happen over time, when we’re children (because we don’t have any filters or discernment) and/or when we don’t have a strong sense of safety and support to help us process the painful events of our lives. And once our nervous system has been “trained” to react a certain way, it can get stuck there even once the trauma is over.   Bringing a sense of safety back to the nervous system is key to building up resilience and allowing yourself to process the stuck fight, flight or freeze energy. This happens in the body, which means the ability to heal your nervous system is as close to you as you are to yourself. I hope this episode brings you some lightbulb moments on what might be happening in your body and how you can begin to connect and heal.   “People often think of trauma as an event, but it's really the energy that gets locked in the body around real or perceived threat." - Ilene Smith   “Trauma can be a series of lots of little things.” - Ilene Smith   “The way we’re living could be the residuals of those childhood experiences.” - Ilene Smith   “As a kid growing up, we don’t know, ‘Oh wait, I’m emotionally not safe.’” - Michelle Chalfant    “When there’s childhood trauma, relationships are much harder when you enter adulthood.” - Ilene Smith   “There’s usually something unhealed if we can’t attach in healthy ways.” - Ilene Smith   “When we get into reactivity, we don’t get into our experience.” - Ilene Smith   “The healing journey is about the body.” - Michelle Chalfant    “When you think about going towards a distraction, think about what it might be like to get into your body in a safe way.” - Ilene Smith      LINKS & RESOURCES  Ilene Smith Website https://ilenesmith.com/    Ilene Smith Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ilenesmithhealing/    “Moving Beyond Trauma” (Ilene Smith book) https://movingbeyondtrauma.co/    ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Test https://www.acesaware.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/ACE-Questionnaire-for-Adults-Identified-English.pdf    The Adult Chair® Membership (March Theme: Self-compassion) https://theadultchair.com/membership/    The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/  MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you know what anxiety really feels like? I’m not talking about the emotions of fear or stress, but what it feels like in your body.   So many of us live with anxiety and don’t even know it because it’s SO physical. It’s even easy to mistake it for physical disease, like heart issues or digestive issues.   That was the case for Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek, two soul sisters who are both mental health professionals and the founders of Anxiety Sisters, a supportive community for those living with anxiety. Though they can now see how their anxiety began showing up in early childhood, for years, they bounced from doctor to doctor and even spent time in the hospital before realizing the root cause of their suffering was anxiety.   This began their passion to help raise awareness around anxiety and help anxiety sufferers learn how to live full, happy lives – anxiety and all. We had an incredible conversation about all things anxiety and how to heal it, and I resonated with so many parts of their story…these ladies are the real deal!   Listen to discover: Our stories of recognizing and healing anxiety How anxiety manifests as physical symptoms The power of acceptance in managing anxiety Why connection is key to healing anxiety How to pack a "spin kit" so you'll be prepared when anxiety strikes The difference between anxiety and a panic attack How to overcome phobias and agoraphobia I know I have a lot of favorite topics, but anxiety is one I really feel we can't talk about enough. Too many people in the world are suffering from anxiety without even knowing it, and we have so many tools – from our support system to our sensory system – to help us find peace and balance in life. It’s not about never feeling anxious again but learning how to find your own brand of happiness and how to take charge so anxiety no longer runs the show. "I still didn't have the vocabulary or the words to make these connections of what I was feeling and how that was connected to anxiety."  - Maggie Sarachek   "Anxiety becomes really debilitating when it's in the driver's seat." - Abbe Greenberg   "I think there is this process of accepting anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek   "Acceptance doesn't mean anything other than, 'This is where I am.’" - Michelle Chalfant   "Our brand of happy is anxious happy." - Abbe Greenberg   "Anxiety can no longer sneak up on you. And when it can't sneak up on you, it takes away two thirds of its power." - Abbe Greenberg   "No two people have the same exact anxiety and panic." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES Anxiety Sisters Website https://anxietysisters.com/   Anxiety Sisters Facebook https://www.facebook.com/anxietysisters *Home of a Tuesday night book club + supportive community   The Spin Cycle (Anxiety Sisters Podcast) https://anxietysisters.com/podcasts/   "The Anxiety Sisters' Survival Guide" (Anxiety Sisters Book) https://anxietysisters.com/anxiety-sisters-survival-guide/     Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/   The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You love them, and you think they love you…so why does it feel like you’re going crazy so often in your relationship?    You leave conversations feeling confused, questioning your reality and maybe even questioning your own sanity.   You might be in a relationship with a gaslighter.   Gaslighting is a term that is thrown around frequently, but it is far more than someone questioning us or challenging us. Gaslighting is intentional, manipulative and designed to whittle away someone’s self-confidence. In short, it’s abuse.   Though gaslighting often happens in romantic relationships with narcissists, it can also happen in friendships and family relationships, with men and women and with people who don’t struggle with narcissistic traits but who might struggle with control issues or other mental disorders.    In this episode, I’m sharing what gaslighting is, what it looks like in real life and ways to tell if you’re being gaslighted.    Listen to discover: What gaslighting is What it looks like and sounds like 5 tactics of a gaslighter 2 signs you might be in a relationship with a gaslighter What to do if you're being gaslighted  The term “gaslighting” actually comes from a 1944 movie about a man who tries to make his wife think she’s going insane…and that is exactly how being gaslighted feels – crazy making!  If you are experiencing this type of abuse, you can start the healing process by building up self-worth and finding people who can help guide you back to what is true about you and your life. The more connected you are to yourself, the better you will be able to see what is real and what is not and make decisions about how to move forward. "Gaslighting – let's be clear – it's abusive." - Michelle Chalfant   "If someone is gaslighting you, you're going to feel confused, and confused a lot." - Michelle Chalfant   "Gaslighting is all about manipulation, power and control." - Michelle Chalfant   "'I'm sorry you feel that way,' is not an apology." - Michelle Chalfant   "When the person that you love keeps speaking to you like this, it wears you down." - Michelle Chalfant   "A gaslighter is the eternal victim." - Michelle Chalfant   "If someone is gaslighting you, stay in your own reality. Do not challenge them...you'll never win." - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/    The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Narcissism is such a buzzword these days...it can be tempting to throw the label at anyone in our lives who isn't healthy or who is a little bit full of themselves. While I love that psychology is so accessible and that the world has a lot more awareness of narcissism than in the past, it’s so important to understand what narcissism really is, so we can spot it and heal from it – whether you are in a relationship with a narcissist or believe you’re a narcissist yourself.    In this episode, I’m breaking down the core traits of narcissism (it’s more than just a big ego), the childhood wounding that leads to narcissism and the steps you can take to heal the painful effects of narcissism.   Listen to discover: What narcissism is The top traits of narcissism  How narcissism forms How to spot narcissist red flags in a relationship  Breaking down "love bombing," "gaslighting" and other common narcissistic tactics (with examples)  How to heal if you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist How a narcissist can heal Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be incredibly painful. It’s often filled with emotional abuse and manipulation, put downs and a lack of empathy that can be incredibly confusing and damaging to our sense of self. If you’re experiencing any type of abuse in a relationship, get out!  At the same time, it’s important to remember we’re all human, and the narcissist is also in pain from deep childhood wounding that has caused them to cover up their true selves. With awareness, any of us can heal, and I hope this episode helps shed some light on the topic of narcissism and gives you practical tips for healing, whether you’re recovering from a relationship with a narcissist or have narcissistic traits yourself.  "Let's be really clear: true narcissism is a personality disorder." - Michelle Chalfant   "Narcissists can love, but they can't empathize. They can't feel their emotions, so how in the world are they supposed to connect to your emotions?" - Michelle Chalfant   "Narcissism is a mask." - Michelle Chalfant   "They inflate their sense of self to feel important in the world." - Michelle Chalfant   "At the root of both these narcissistic pathways is deep shame." - Michelle Chalfant   "The narcissist just wants admiration from you, and once they hook you, everything starts to change." - Michelle Chalfant   “You did not get into the relationship knowing what you know now. In a sense, you were tricked.”  - Michelle Chalfant   “Anybody can heal that wants to heal. Anybody.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Adult Chair Podcast Episodes on Feeling Emotions https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/?sterm=emotions    The Adult Chair® Membership (February Theme: Crack your mask) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Are you convinced you’re just bad at boundaries? Do you worry this is a trait that you were born without and you’re just destined to feel taken advantage of and resentful for the rest of your life?   The truth is that no one is born good at boundaries! They’re not something you have or don’t have; they’re a skill you develop. That’s right – you CAN become a boundary boss!   My guest today, Terri Cole, is a boundary boss herself and a licensed psychotherapist who helps people from all walks of life overcome the “disease to please,” speak their truth clearly and confidently and live more free, peaceful lives. We talk about how our boundary scripts form (and why it’s not your fault), how to navigate conflict in a healthier way and a POWERFUL list of “boundary rights” you have that will inspire you to take more control of your life today!   Listen to discover: Why boundaries are so hard to set Steps to stop abandoning yourself and set better boundaries “The Boundary Boss Bill of Rights” (this is SO powerful!) How to handle pushback against boundaries What to do about boundary "repeat offenders" The cool thing about boundaries is that once you start setting them, it gets easier and easier. Though some people will push back against your boundaries, you might be surprised by the amount of appreciation and respect you get from others when you begin setting boundaries.  You will learn that conflict doesn’t equal disconnection – in fact, boundaries deepen connection and prevent resentment – and you will really experience what it feels like to be loved for your authentic self. And once you know how that feels, there is no turning back! “We all have this downloaded boundary blueprint in our unconscious mind.” - Terri Cole   “It’s your own personal rules of engagement…All of our boundaries are incredibly unique.” - Terri Cole   “We were raised and praised — most of us — for being self-abandoning codependents.” - Terri Cole   “It’s so much easier to say no when you haven’t already said yes.” - Terri Cole   "'Isn't self-care selfish?' No, it's self-loving!" - Michelle Chalfant   "Once you start doing it, it feels so good to be known. It feels so good to be accurately seen." - Terri Cole   "We can stay lovingly attached to the people in our lives while we set boundaries." - Terri Cole   LINKS & RESOURCES    Terri Cole Website https://www.terricole.com/   Terri Cole Instagram https://www.instagram.com/terricole/    “Boundary Boss” (Terri Cole book) https://boundarybossbook.com/    The Terri Cole Show (Terri Cole podcast) https://www.terricole.com/podcast/    Free Boundaries + Codependency Resource from Terri Cole https://boundaryboss.me/michelle     Episode #140: Love and Boundaries with Terri Cole https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/140-love-and-boundaries-with-terri-cole/    Episode #261: How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/261/    The Adult Chair® Membership (February Theme: Crack your mask) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification  https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

A month-long trip to Europe might sound like a dream, but for Gabrielle Stone, it was one more curveball during one of the hardest years of her life.   After catching her husband cheating on her, getting divorced, falling head over heels for a new man and planning a dream trip to Europe with him, days before they were scheduled to leave, he told her he would be going on his own.   With a plane ticket in her name and a choice to stay home or leap from the world of “serial monogamy” to a solo adventure, Gabrielle chose the path of adventure, and in doing so, began a journey of self-discovery and healing that has become the “Eat, Pray, #FML” movement.   Alone with her emotions halfway across the world, Gabrielle started journaling and reflecting on herself and the patterns in her life. Through connecting with herself and discovering what self-love really means, she healed heartbreak, trauma and abandonment, and today, she vulnerably and authentically shares her journey with the hope of inspiring others.   Listen to discover:   Gabrielle's story of healing from abandonment, trauma, divorce and depression  Practical, tangible ways to love yourself Gabrielle's "self-love cocktail" and how you can create your own The "thought onion" process for working with negative and subconscious thoughts The connection between trauma and the relationships we attract   Gabrielle is relatable, funny and honest as she talks about life, relationships and changing our unhealed patterns so we can change our lives. I hope her story is an inspiration to anyone who needs to feel like you’re not alone and find joy in the healing process.   "That relationship was really what pushed me to go heal a lot of this abandonment stuff." - Gabrielle Stone   "There's something very therapeutic about physically writing in a journal." -  Gabrielle Stone   "When I realized that loving yourself is as simple as giving your soul the things it loves, it totally changed everything for me." - Gabrielle Stone   "We don't take enough time – down time – to get to know who we are." - Michelle Chalfant    "When you keep attracting the same kind of people into your life, you have to look inward." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES    Gabrielle Stone Website https://www.eatprayfml.com/    Gabrielle Stone Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gabriellestone/    Gabrielle Stone TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@gabrielle_stone    “Eat, Pray, #FML” (Gabrielle Stone book) https://www.amazon.com/Eat-Pray-FML-Gabrielle-Stone/dp/1733963707    “The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl” (Gabrielle Stone book) https://www.amazon.com/Ridiculous-Misadventures-Single-Girl-Pray/dp/B09G5GRJJM    FML Talk (Gabrielle Stone podcast) https://www.eatprayfml.com/fml-talk    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

All of us have an inner critic – the part that reminds us of our limits, our failures and tries to “keep us in line.” It’s that voice inside your head that can be critical, judgmental and even mean. Though it’s just one part of who we are, the inner critic is one of those parts that can be especially painful and stressful to deal with.   Not only does the inner critic impact our sense of self-worth, but it also keeps us stuck and small in life (although it thinks it’s keeping us safe). We will often find this part standing between us and the dreams that are in our heart, telling us all the reasons why we can’t or shouldn’t.   That is what Adult Chair® Coach Jenny Jansen encountered when she was considering joining The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. She knew her heart was telling her to take the leap, but her inner critic dialed the volume up and tried to keep her stuck in fear.    In this episode, Jenny tells the story of how she used The Adult Chair® to work with and transform her inner critic and how that was the first step toward living a life where she feels purposeful, energized and successful. Jenny shares a detailed example of doing her own parts work, helping illustrate what this work looks like in real life and how transformational it is.   Listen to discover: How Jenny transformed her inner critic from her Adult Chair The tools Jenny used to work with her inner critic  A beautiful parts work example from Jenny’s work How Jenny overcame her fears about The Adult Chair Coaching Certification and became an amazingly successful coach As Jenny worked with her inner critic, she discovered that underneath the blame and shame it was throwing her way was fear. This is usually the case for our Adolescent parts – they are afraid and want to keep us safe. When we turn towards them with our healthy Adult voice and let them know they’re ok, they transform.  Jenny’s story is a powerful example of how the goal is not to get rid of parts of ourselves but rather to integrate them into our whole self, with our healthy Adult in charge. “I feel like my inner critic was born when I was born.” - Jenny Jansen  “When I turned toward it, I realized there was so much fear underneath.” - Jenny Jansen  “The more you turn away from that voice, it gets louder.” - Michelle Chalfant  “When we’re able to turn toward those parts and get to know them, they morph.” - Michelle Chalfant “A lot of times, we mix up feeling safe with feeling familiar.” - Jenny Jansen  “What is it going to take to move your body path in line with your soul path?” - Jenny Jansen  “When we take these risks and work with these inner parts and walk through our fears, we become more authentic. We live more from our true self, our true essence, and we have an experience of it.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES    Jenny Jansen Website https://www.trueconsciousliving.com/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When we think about the lives we want to live – the things we want to do and experience and the big dreams we have – the ego will give us a thousand reasons “why not.” Some of these reasons might be real traumas or health issues we have to overcome; others are figments of the ego’s imagination…fear and discomfort that scream at us to stay in the safe place.   But one thing is certain: anyone who has created more for themselves has overcome struggles and fears to build the life of their dreams.   My guest, Scout Sobel, shares her story of working through depression and bipolar disorder and overcoming fear to become a successful entrepreneur, building a company rooted in emotional health and inspiring others with her podcasts about business and self-care. She shares her healing journey, her non-negotiable practices that keep her body and mind in balance and how she continues overcoming fear daily to create a life beyond what she thought possible.   Listen to discover: How Scout became an active participant in her own healing The rituals and practices Scout uses each day to stay emotionally healthy The power of taking “radical responsibility” for our emotions The importance of not settling and how to find a framework for life that works with how you’re uniquely wired Listening to your inner compass and finding safety in your emotions Scout’s story is full of deep wisdom about how we actually grow and heal as humans. She talks about the power of acceptance, and how her life began to change when she accepted that challenges were part of being human and she took responsibility for her life and healing.  As we go into a new year, I hope this episode inspires you to take radical responsibility for YOUR dreams and make this year more than you can imagine!  “The real work is within you.” - Scout Sobel “There is no such thing as a magic pill.” - Michelle Chalfant “I think one of my biggest breakthroughs came from accepting and not resisting.” - Scout Sobel “If you’re struggling with anything, I really believe that your healing is behind that resistance.” - Scout Sobel “You have to walk through discomfort and challenging moments to get what you want in this lifetime.” - Scout Sobel “Acceptance doesn’t mean you freaking like it.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you are experiencing fear that is causing you to be paralyzed or remain stagnant in your life, I want you to ask yourself, ‘What future has fear already robbed you of?’” - Scout Sobel    LINKS & RESOURCES    Scout Sobel Website https://www.scoutsobel.com/    Scout Sobel Instagram https://www.instagram.com/scoutsobel/    Okay Sis (Scout Sobel Podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/okay-sis/id1434353917    The Emotional Entrepreneur (Scout Sobel Podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-emotional-entrepreneur-podcast/id1505252696    “The Emotional Entrepreneur” (Scout Sobel Book) https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Entrepreneur-Scout-Sobel/dp/0578951754    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.   Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation.   Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It’s not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us.   In this episode, I’m sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life!    Listen to discover: What self-validation is and why it’s important The connection between self-validation and self-worth What self-validation looks like in real life Steps to starting a practice of self-validation The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging No one can make us feel or believe something we don’t believe about ourselves. So, if we don’t have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It’s an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up.  That’s why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love. “Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant “Self-validation is when we notice what we’re doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation.” - Michelle Chalfant “Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s your job to share with others what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.    But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?   In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it.    We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.   I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.   Listen to discover: Why simply trying to change behavior doesn’t work The real reason why you do what you do The problem with goal setting How to actually transform actions, behaviors and beliefs Steps to changing unconscious brain patterns Surrender vs. acceptance How this can change your relationship with money, your partner, your family, etc. Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how!    “How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon “Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon “We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant “Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon “I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant “People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon “Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon “The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon   LINKS & RESOURCES    Adele Spraggon Website https://www.adelespraggon.com/    “Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book) https://shift4steps.com/    2022 Adult Chair® Membership 2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living ​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can’t connect at the deep level you want?   These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn’t tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don’t know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection!    In this show, I’m chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it.   Listen to discover:   What childhood emotional neglect is Why invalidating our feelings leads to shame How childhood emotional neglect affects adult relationships What emotional intimacy is Rebuilding from childhood emotional neglect Steps to start your healing journey   Childhood emotional neglect isn’t necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well-meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions — our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair — is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others!      “We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life.” - Dr. Jonice Webb   “Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don’t have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down.” - Dr. Jonice Webb   “Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they’re human.” - Michelle Chalfant   “What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings.” - Dr. Jonice Webb   “Emotions are the expression of your deepest self.” - Dr. Jonice Webb   “Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES   Dr. Jonice Webb Website https://emotionalneglect.com   “Running on Empty” (Dr. Jonice Webb book) https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. But what if you’ve experienced significant trauma as well? How do you distinguish between a trauma response and limiting or negative thinking? How do you find the power to heal when things have happened that were out of your control?   My guest today, Michael Unbroken, has an intense and powerful story of overcoming unspeakable trauma, growing up with abuse, addiction and homelessness. At one point, he wanted to end his own life. But he made a decision to live, and in doing so, discovered that the only path forward started within.   In this incredible conversation, Michael shares how he was able to break the cycle of trauma in his life and consciously choose a different path for himself. This is an inspiring and vulnerable conversation that will challenge you to take ownership of your life, treat yourself with grace and kindness and live life fully!  Listen to discover:   Michael’s incredible story of healing from trauma and turning his life around The steps for overcoming limiting beliefs How to get past fear and start living your life How to actually change your life (and why you have to get out of the way first) The power of vulnerability  The importance of a mentor   Transforming limiting beliefs starts with taking ownership of the way we think about life, no matter what we’ve been through. What happened to us is not our fault, but it does become our job to take responsibility for it and make a choice to create the healthy, whole life we want to live. We all have the power to do this, and I hope this episode inspires you to find everything that’s possible for you.   “It’s never going to be one thing that changes your life.” - Michael Unbroken    “What you think becomes what you speak. What you speak becomes your actions, and your actions become your reality.” - Michael Unbroken    “If we’re sitting waiting for someone to rescue us, we’re in the seat of the victim.” - Michelle    “We have to create different. We have to create better. If we want a different life, we have to make different choices.” - Michelle Chalfant    “It will change everything about the fabric of your experience of this life when you’re willing to be real.” - Michael Unbroken    LINKS & RESOURCES    Michael Unbroken Website https://www.thinkunbroken.com/    Michael Unbroken Podcast https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/    Michael Unbroken Instagram https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/    Michael Unbroken Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MichaelUnbroken/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Now Open: Doors Close January 31!) https://michellechalfant.com/coaching-certification-program/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the  “shoulds” and guilt the holidays can bring!).   It doesn’t surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year.   So, I enlisted the help of today’s guest, psychotherapist and boundary expert Sharon Martin, to help me answer your questions about how to flex your boundary muscles this time of year — and anytime!   We talk about how to navigate guilt and defensiveness when it comes to boundaries, helpful boundary statements and all kinds of practical tips and tools for setting boundaries at the holidays. Listen to discover: What a boundary is Why boundaries can actually lead to better relationships Why we sometimes feel guilty when setting a boundary (and how to work through this) What to do when someone doesn’t respond to your boundary How to lower the defenses of the person you’re setting a boundary with Why boundaries are an important form of self-care Boundaries are not something you have to master overnight. I didn’t wake up one day suddenly good at setting boundaries either – but when you start slowly and build and build, you CAN learn this…and everybody needs to learn it, because boundaries are part of our self-care!   So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by holiday boundaries, pick one or two to start with – a “no” to a party, a political topic you don’t want to discuss or a gift budget. You’ll bring a little extra sanity to your holidays and give yourself great practice for year-round self-care.   “One way we can think about [boundaries] is as a dividing line.” - Sharon Martin   “You can actually have better relationships when we are able to set boundaries.” - Michelle Chalfant    “We don’t need to wait until the uncomfortableness is completely gone for us to set the boundary.” - Sharon Martin   “Boundaries and confrontation are not the same thing.” - Michelle Chalfant    “Boundaries are really based on needs.” - Sharon Martin    “It’s always about staying connected to yourself so that you know when a boundary is necessary.” - Michelle Chalfant    “Don’t extend yourself to others so much that you’ve lost sight of what you need on the inside.” -  Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Sharon Martin Website http://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/    “The Better Boundaries Workbook” (Sharon Martin Book) https://betterboundariesworkbook.com/    2022 Annual Adult Chair® Membership 2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living ​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout    Other Adult Chair® Podcasts on Boundaries https://theadultchair.com/?s=boundaries&pageName=default    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

The holidays are a time where it feels like everything is a bit magnified: there is so much joy and brightness in the world but also space for sadness, loneliness and grief to be amplified.   It’s a touchy time of year where whatever we’re feeling gets underscored by parties, gatherings and traditions.   But the holidays don’t create these feelings. In fact, according to my guest on the podcast today, WE don’t even create most of these feelings. Rather, we pick them up from our parents and the world around us, and the key to overcoming loneliness and sadness is to understand where it all began.   In this episode, I’m bringing back one of my favorite people, Dr. Dain Heer, to talk about loneliness, how to identify what is ours and what is not, how to clear what’s not ours, how to get out of victim and so many more important, empowering topics!    Dr. Dain also shares tools and techniques you can use immediately to start clearing negative emotions – one of the reasons I love his work so much!  Listen to discover: What loneliness is and where it comes from Why 98% of our thoughts and feeling aren’t actually ours – and where they come from How to get out of negative emotions What to do if you’re experiencing loneliness in life The true root of victimhood The “clearing statement” for fast transformation Dr. Dain’s work with Access Consciousness is all about realizing the power you have within you to change. When you’re able to get rid of what is not yours, it gives you the space and energy to work on what IS yours and create your life instead of falling victim to it. I hope the tools in this episode help you find your inner power, no matter what you’re feeling this holiday season – or any time of the year!    “Your point of view creates your reality. Your reality doesn’t create your point of view.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “It’s as simple as redirecting that energy out of your energy field.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It starts to undo the foundation of limitation.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “We don’t have to be limited by the world around us.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “When we open the door for possibilities, it makes that available to everybody else on the planet.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “People who do victim have learned it.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “Victims are actually victimizing others and controlling them with their victimhood.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “If we can just sit in someone else’s energy field that’s healthy, we become more like them.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Dr. Dain Heer Website https://drdainheer.com/    Dr. Dain Heer YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/drdainheer    Dr. Dain Heer Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrDainHeer    Dr. Dain Heer Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dainheer/    Who Does This Belong To App https://www.accessconsciousness.com/en/shop-catalog/apps/who-does-this-belong-to-app/    The Clearing Statement https://theclearingstatement.com/    “Body Whispering” (Dr. Dain Heer Book) https://www.amazon.com/Body-Whispering-Dr-Heer/dp/1634934873    2022 Adult Chair® Membership 2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living ​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant 

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you?    In today’s show, I’m interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social engagement system, based on the Vagus Nerve.    In this episode, we talk about how we can both understand and balance our nervous system — from the different ways we respond to fear or danger (including fight, flight, freeze and a new one you might not be aware of) to how we can change our response to stressors over time. We explore how we can stop moralizing our nervous response, how to listen and pay attention to our nervous system and how others’ nervous systems can help us regulate. It is FASCINATING!   Listen to discover:   What the Polyvagal Theory is and why it’s important for you to know about it Understanding the Polyvagal Theory to learn how to better balance the nervous system  How the Polyvagal Theory could be linked with depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and other ailments   How we can reshape our nervous system Specific ways to self-regulate when you are stressed, based on YOUR unique nervous system    This blends attachment theory, stress response, self-regulation, co-regulation and SO much more. The big takeaway is that you have a choice! Even though you don’t get to choose how your nervous system is wired, you can eventually shift how you respond to situations and regulate your own system — which is so empowering!    “We don’t get to choose our survival response.” - Deb Dana   “We want to stretch our nervous system but not stress our nervous system.” - Deb Dana   Resources   Deb Dana Website https://https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/   The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/ref=nodl_    Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant  

They always say parenting is the hardest job in the world. And while caring for little beings and chauffeuring them all around town can certainly be busy and overwhelming at times, the day-to-day tasks of parenting were not what I found most challenging.   Instead, it was what my kids revealed about me that was so hard! The way they knew exactly how to push my buttons and trigger me, the fears and anxieties that came out when they were born and the hopes and dreams I projected on them were the biggest mirror for who I was, even in the tiniest human form.    But as you know, I believe triggers are a gift, so stepping into our Adult Chair as parents and consciously looking at parenting as part of our healing journey can be an amazing next step in our growth!   In this episode, I’m talking with parenting coach Dayna Ciarfalia about what conscious parenting is and how we can become more conscious as parents. We talk about what it means and what to do when our kids trigger us, our true role as parents and how we can build healthy, life-long relationships with our kids as we encourage them to become who they’re meant to become. Listen to discover: What conscious parenting is (and what it’s not) The impact we can have on our children Practical ways to consciously parent How conscious parenting can help your relationship with your kids How our children triggering us reveals our own wounding The importance of taking care of our own needs as a parent It’s so hard to let go as a parent. We want our kids to be safe, healthy and happy...and we often have our own ideas and values about who we want them to be in the world. But when we shift into a more conscious state, we can see the ways our kids help us grow and our role in guiding them to become the unique beings they are created to be.  “As conscious parents, we don’t view our children as beings to be controlled or taught or raised, if you will. We see them as separate beings that we are here in relationship with to support them in becoming the person they are supposed to be – whatever that is.” - Dayna Ciarfalia “How we model being a human in front of them becomes the blueprint for how they are going to be in the world.” - Dayna Ciarfalia “It’s not you vs. me. It’s us vs. the problem.” - Dayna Ciarfalia “As humans we like to blame other people for triggering us vs. ‘Wait, is this mine?’” - Michelle Chalfant  “That overwhelm almost always comes from a lack of me acknowledging my needs.” - Dayna Ciarfalia “We don’t know who our kids are here to become.” - Michelle Chalfant    LINKS & RESOURCES    Dayna Ciarfalia Website https://daynaciarfalia.com/   Dayna Ciarfalia Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the.conscious.healing.mama    The Adult Chair® Membership (November Theme: I am unique.) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

No one likes the feeling of getting triggered. But I fully believe that triggers are a GIFT (yes, I said it!).   Getting triggered is different from the pure emotion of anger or hurt at a situation. I’m talking about those quick, intense negative emotions that seem to rise up out of nowhere and might seem bigger than the situation you’re in.    While triggers often feel like they’re about someone else – the person who hurt us or made us mad – triggers are always about us.    Underneath these triggers is a painful belief, typically rooted in childhood wounding, that we’ve tried to shove into our subconscious mind so we don’t have to think about it or face it. The trigger brings this belief to the surface, and that’s why it feels so terrible.   But here is the gift: getting the belief out of the subconscious raises our awareness and gives us the opportunity to heal it! We just need to know what to do when we’re triggered.   In this episode, I’m helping you understand the psychology behind triggers, giving you three steps to slow your reaction when triggered and sharing a five-step process to work with and heal “shadow beliefs” once they’re revealed. Listen to discover:   Why triggers are a gift How triggers form (and why they're not your fault) How to spot shadow beliefs 3 steps to avoid getting reactive and losing yourself in the trigger 5 steps to working with shadow beliefs How this work can help us become more balanced human beings   When we work with our shadow beliefs, not only do we become healthier and more balanced versions of ourselves, but we also might find we get triggered less (yes, it’s possible!). It starts with resisting the urge to numb out our triggers and instead diving deep into what they’re trying to tell us – the gift of uncovering a hidden part of who we are.   "Triggers are reactions to our own childhood wounding." - Michelle Chalfant   "These thoughts that we have become beliefs about who we are." - Michelle Chalfant   "Whatever is going on in me is showing up in my reality." - Michelle Chalfant   "This trigger is inside of me, and this person is showing me." - Michelle Chalfant   "The key is to stay present – stay present and remember the gift." - Michelle Chalfant   "This is about making the unknown known." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES    All I want for my birthday is for you to help share the podcast! :) Leave a Podcast Review https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4    30-Day Journaling Challenge  https://theadultchair.com/30days/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Doodling in a notebook, writing in a diary...what if I told you that those schoolkid activities were actually really powerful for your brain?   When we put pen to paper and let our hand go, we are able to access our subconscious mind in a truly incredible way. Journaling also connects us to our inner child and pulls in the energy of our Adult, bringing clarity to our lives and helping us connect to who we are, what we need, what we feel and what we want.   It’s absolutely incredible what can happen when we get a stream of energy flowing through our words!   In this episode, I’m sharing with you why journaling is such a powerful tool for transformation and the many benefits it can bring into your life. Journaling is a big part of The Adult Chair® – from the annual 30-Day Journaling Challenge to the self-discovery work in the membership – and today’s show is all about the WHY behind it.   I also give you some practical tips for how to overcome blocks and get started with a journaling practice + some free tools if you need extra guidance.  Listen to discover:   What journaling is The many benefits of journaling Why journaling can be a powerful tool while doing parts work How to journal and get started with a journaling practice How to protect your privacy while journaling   The important thing is not how or when you journal, but making a commitment to journal! There are so many different ways and places to journal, but it’s when journaling becomes a practice that true transformation begins. Remember, it is self-loving to take 15 or 30 minutes a day to reconnect with and care for yourself. So, get yourself a pretty notebook (if that’s your thing), leave your phone in the other room and find a writing ritual that makes you feel refreshed and loved. I promise that your life will transform!  “What I love about journaling is that when we put pen to paper, it's as if the doorway to our subconscious mind opens.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Once you get the stream of energy flowing through your words, so many amazing things happen.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It’s like we’re taking these ideas, these thoughts and these emotions out of the ethers and into our 3D reality, and as they come down through us, they get processed.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It’s not about, ‘When should I journal?’ The bigger question is, ‘Have you committed yet to journaling?’” - Michelle Chalfant   “Commitment to the practice of journaling is the first and most important step.” - Michelle Chalfant     LINKS & RESOURCES    30-Day Journaling Challenge  https://theadultchair.com/30days/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find on Amazon or Target.com MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Starting a journey of healing or following a spiritual path in life can be one of the best things to ever happen to us. It totally transforms how we feel each day and gives us a sense of clarity and purpose in life. Unfortunately, it can also change our relationships – and not always in the way we want. I get messages all the time from listeners who have started working with The Adult Chair® or going to therapy who now feel disconnected from people they were once close to. Sometimes it’s friends and family who don’t understand the change they’re seeing in them. Other times, it’s that the person who has changed can no longer relate to certain friends or even feels like they and their partner are no longer on the same page. These “spiritual growing pains” can be so disorienting and scary! In today’s show, I’m chatting with my friend and fellow holistic therapist, Karen Campion, about what we can do when we feel alone on our healing path. Karen and I have been on similar healing journeys (I’m so thankful that she’s one person I’ve been on the same page with for years!), and we talk about how we’ve learned to trust our unique paths while also honoring the paths of others. Listen to discover: Why it’s ok to move on from some relationships How to not fall into the ego as you walk down a path of self-growth How to be in healthy relationships with your loved ones who aren’t on the same path as you What to do if someone criticizes you for your spiritual path What tuning into the body can tell you about the state of your relationships How to share your path with someone you love Often, it’s our ego that makes us feel disconnected from others because we begin to feel superior in the path we’re on. This episode is an incredible reminder that every relationship serves a purpose in our life and that we can still connect with others who have a different life path than we do. The important thing is that we stick to the path we’re called to, surrender the relationships that are no longer a match and trust that we and those we love are exactly where they’re supposed to be. “There are people who sometimes aren’t going to match you anymore because you have outgrown them.” - Karen Campion  “It’s about respecting your partner wherever they’re at.” - Karen Campion  “Being on a spiritual path or healing path is something that is so beautiful but we want to really make sure and be mindful of when the ego gets engaged.” - Michelle Chalfant  “Become really aware of what your loved ones mean and what their purpose might be on your life path.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you want to get other people in their Adult Chair, you get in yours.” - Michelle Chalfant  “Surrender…is that inner attitude of trust.” - Karen Campion LINKS & RESOURCES    Karen Campion Website http://www.karencampion.com/   Episode #117: The Power of Letting Go with Karen Campion https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/117-the-power-of-letting-go-with-karen-campion/    Episode #17: Finding Hope in the Face of Life’s Greatest Challenges https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/17-finding-hope-in-the-face-of-lifes-greatest-challenges/    “The Surrender Experiment” by Michael A. Singer https://www.amazon.com/Surrender-Experiment-Journey-Lifes-Perfection/dp/080414110X    “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer https://www.amazon.com/Untethered-Soul-Journey-Beyond-Yourself/dp/1572245379    30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1) https://theadultchair.com/30days/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You guys...do I have a special episode for you this week or what. I was out in Portland visiting my son, Blake, when we had the most beautiful moment of authentic communication between us. With Blake’s permission, I flipped on my microphone, and we’re bringing you the first ever podcast with one of my kids on it!  Blake is only 21, but I’m blown away by his wisdom and the healthy adult he is becoming. In the story we’re sharing with you today, Blake was actually the one who recognized when his ego got triggered and who initiated the communication between us, and I’d be lying if I said mom didn’t tear up a little over here! The moment we experienced together led us to a deep discussion about how the ego shows up in our lives, the peace that comes from authentic living, how we can communicate more authentically with the people in our lives, how to receive authentic communication and how essential it is to make sure we’re coming from a place of love as we do this work. Listen to discover: How authentic communication deepens connection How the ego keeps us stuck in our defenses Why trying to be right all the time kills connection How to create safety in relationships How to respond when someone doesn’t receive our authentic communication well How to begin authentically communicating When you hear the story of what happened, you will recognize that Blake and I didn't experience any conflict. However, Blake was aware of something that didn’t feel right internally about a conversation we had and leaned into that awareness to create an opportunity for more authentic communication.  There would have been nothing wrong with letting it go and moving on, but that extra step was a chance to build a deeper connection...and that’s how we create more meaningful relationships! We step up, we get vulnerable and we share authentically with another. As Blake says, the best part is not just stronger relationships, but also that sense of alignment with ourselves and knowing we’re showing up how we want to show up for others...as our authentic selves! “The ego is the part of us that creates separation.” - Michelle Chalfant “You can’t be right (all the time) and have a deep connection with other human beings.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you’re the hero of your story, it doesn’t matter what other people are saying. It matters how you’re showing up for them.” - Blake Chalfant “Whether we agree with another person who is communicating with us or setting a boundary with us, how we receive that and express back is so key to deepening that relationship and creating safety in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant “We automatically defend as humans unless we have awareness.” - Michelle Chalfant “It just comes back to everything you do coming from the container of love.” - Blake Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Episode #283: Deeper Connections Through Vulnerability https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/283/    30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1) https://theadultchair.com/30days/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/    The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you ever feel like you’re being disloyal to your family for having your own life? Or do you feel like you’re second fiddle to your partner’s parents? If so, you or your partner might come from an enmeshed family: a system of relating to each other that is based on dependency, guilt, obligation and too much closeness (yes, that can be a thing!).  In today’s episode, I’m bringing back one of your favorite guests, Dr. Ken Adams, to talk about the important topic of enmeshment – and let me tell you, he is SUCH a wealth of knowledge!  When I knew we were bringing Dr. Adams back, I asked The Adult Chair® community what you wanted to know about enmeshment and I was flooded with questions! So, I used this time with Dr. Adams to ask him YOUR questions – everything from the difference between codependency and enmeshment to what to do if your spouse is enmeshed with his or her family to how to let go as an enmeshed parent. I know you guys are so excited to have Dr. Adams back and to get your questions answered, and I am too!  Listen to discover:   The line between being caring and enmeshment The difference between codependency and enmeshment What to do if you come from an enmeshed family or your spouse’s family is enmeshed How to manage guilt when stepping out of an enmeshed system What a healthy family looks like How different cultural norms can foster enmeshment Tips for enmeshed parents who want to change their pattern of relating to their children or who are struggling with letting go   The key to recognizing enmeshment is to understand that it’s a connection bound by guilt. It goes beyond being caring and even beyond being codependent to the point of obligation, anger and being accused of disloyalty if you don’t follow the family system.  These feelings of guilt can make it difficult to set boundaries, but if you stay in your Adult, sit with your emotions and hold those boundaries, freedom – and possibly a much healthier family overall – is waiting for you on the other side. “In those enmeshed systems, dependency is built on obligation and loyalty is driven by guilt.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “Autonomy and separateness feel like disloyalty.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “Sometimes outsiders are viewed suspiciously, which includes your spouse.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “Both partners are responsible for keeping out intrusions”. - Dr. Ken Adams   “Sometimes the guilt is a representation that you’re doing the right thing.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “You don’t let the guilt stop you from continuing the boundaries in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It’s really building up self-worth around who am I now…who am I really underneath these masks that my parents put on me.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Dr. Ken Adams Website https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/    Episode #256: Understanding Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/256/    Episode #276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/276/    30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1) https://theadultchair.com/30days/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

As humans, we are all wired for connection and to feel like we belong. No one, even the biggest introvert on the planet, doesn’t want to feel connected with others.    But many of us find there is a gap between the connection we crave and the way we experience our relationships. We might have a loving marriage, a thousand Facebook friends, and a busy social calendar but something still feels empty.   That’s because to truly connect at a deep level, we have to get real and vulnerable with each other...and vulnerability is scary! Few of us really “go there” in our relationships, and this leaves us wanting something more.   But like anything else, vulnerability is a practice. It’s something we can all work to grow in our lives and start getting the relationships we really want. In this episode, I’m sharing with you the benefits of vulnerability, how to find safe people to practice vulnerability with, and the steps you can take to grow vulnerability and connection in your relationships.   Listen to discover: What vulnerability is Why vulnerability is a strength The benefits of vulnerability When to be vulnerable and when not to be vulnerable Scripts for practicing vulnerability in relationships If vulnerability still feels a bit scary, that’s ok! Practicing vulnerability is all about taking baby steps and increasing your comfort level with sharing with others. And as you begin to lead with vulnerability, you will automatically invite others to be vulnerable with you, building deeper connections and transforming your relationships!  “When we start sharing on that level, we have the potential and the ability to then connect with others on that level.” - Michelle Chalfant “The deeper I can go within myself and get in touch with what’s going on inside myself, the deeper relationships I can have outside of self.” - Michelle Chalfant “As a good friend, it’s my job to mirror for her what’s going on.” - Michelle Chalfant “Vulnerability fosters intimacy.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we are vulnerable, there’s compassion for who we are.” - Michelle Chalfant “Humans are wired for connection and the feeling of belonging. Being vulnerable with another human being creates exactly that.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES    30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts in November) https://theadultchair.com/30days/    TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.    But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?   In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it.    We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.   I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.   Listen to discover: Why simply trying to change behavior doesn’t work The real reason why you do what you do The problem with goal setting How to actually transform actions, behaviors and beliefs Steps to changing unconscious brain patterns Surrender vs. acceptance How this can change your relationship with money, your partner, your family, etc.   Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how!    “How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon “Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon   “We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon   “I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant   “People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon   “Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon   “The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon     LINKS & RESOURCES    Adele Spraggon Website https://www.adelespraggon.com/    “Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book) https://shift4steps.com/    The Adult Chair® Membership (October Theme: “I use my voice.”) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Comparison is one of the ego’s favorite traps. When we fall into this trap, we make up all kinds of stories about others and turn a judgmental eye towards ourselves. With this comes feelings of inferiority, feeling less than and low self-worth. It’s no fun at all!   Inferiority feels so awful that most of us just want to run from it, silence it or numb it out...but this never works! Shoving our negative beliefs about ourselves into the subconscious only gives them more power. Instead, we have to look at them, work with them and transform them!   In this episode, which was inspired by questions from our listeners, I’m giving you five tools to not just quiet feelings of inferiority but to actually transform from feeling less than to feeling enough!    Listen to discover:   Why we compare ourselves to others Five tools to build self-worth and stop feeling inferior How to radically accept yourself  Parts work and affirmations to transform comparison   The process in this episode is so simple and easy to apply – it just takes intention and some energy from you to make this transformation in your life reality. And this is what we do from our Adult Chair...we bring consciousness into the traps of the ego and change our lives! Remember: I think you’re so amazing, and I hope the tools in this episode help you love yourself and live from the place of worthiness that you deserve!    “The ego can really chime in and compare us to others and make us feel less than.” - Michelle Chalfant “Numbing [feelings of inferiority] out is a lovely temporary fix, but it does not work.”  - Michelle Chalfant “You’ve become who you are today because of all your life experiences, because of the choices you’ve made.”  - Michelle Chalfant “When you hear yourself say, ‘Yeah, but,’ I want you to know your ego’s engaged.”  - Michelle Chalfant “Nothing magical can get you out of this comparison. The only thing that can get you out of this is you.”  - Michelle Chalfant “Having a really healthy relationship with your inner parts — that’s a game changer.”  - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES    Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/    The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

The Adult Chair® model is based on different stages of life and development, with our Adult Chair coming online around age 25 when the brain fully develops.   So, what does that mean for raising healthy kids? Is it possible as a parent to teach your kids the Adult Chair while they’re still literally in their Child or Adolescent phase of life?   YES!!!   No matter what age your child is, you can start modeling what it looks like to be a healthy adult. You can begin to be that touchstone of emotional health that they look to through all their different life experiences.   In this episode, I break down what it looks like to be a healthy adult (how you want to be showing up as a parent) and six keys for modeling The Adult Chair for your children. This is a very practical episode that makes this process simple while leaving room for lots of grace when you and your children inevitably act like the humans you are!   Listen to discover:   Eight qualities for living in our Adult Chair  How we can invite others to join us in our Adult Chair Six ways to model The Adult Chair for your children Why lots of grace is a parenting essential    Remember, The Adult Chair is a model – a touchstone we strive for – and we’re not going to live in it in every moment. Instead, it shows us when we’re off balance and gives us something to reach for. That’s true for you in your parenting journey and true for your kids in their growing up journey.  But by doing your work and showing them what a healthy adult looks like, you’re already putting them light years ahead on the path to becoming their healthiest, most authentic selves. And what an amazing gift that is to give!    “97% of the time we’re incorrect with our stories.” - Michelle Chalfant “Healthy adults respond to people and don’t blow up and react when we’re triggered.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We seek to know what we’re feeling and then we get curious about what’s going on inside.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Whether you have a toddler or you have an adult child, start today. Because your kids are always going to be looking at you, and there’s always a chance to respect you and grow and learn from you.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We reach for vices when we don’t know what to do with our internal pain.” - Michelle Chalfant   “They become what they witness in the household.” - Michelle Chalfant   LINKS & RESOURCES    Episode #177: Empowered Parenting with Meghan Crough https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/177    Episode #276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/276/   The Adult Chair® Membership September Theme: “I’m a self-care badass!” https://theadultchair.com/membership/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Sometimes, it takes losing everything you know to start over and begin the journey of healing.   Caroline Strawson is an internationally recognized trauma-informed therapist and coach who helps her clients recover from narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD and create thriving lives. Her journey began with her own story of loss when, in a very short period of time, her mother passed away, her narcissistic husband left her and their two young children and she discovered he had gotten them into $100,000 of debt, leading to the loss of her home and the life she had built.   Facing PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, guilt and shame, Caroline turned inward and took a close look at herself, her life and her relationships – and has since become a leader in trauma-informed recovery and healing from abuse.   In this conversation, Caroline shares her story of overcoming narcissistic abuse, how she finally recognized the abuse and how she began the journey of healing. She offers deep insights into how childhood wounding forms, how we develop “protector parts” and how those parts can lead to struggles like codependency and narcissism. She is a wealth of knowledge on trauma, how we get stuck in life and how to move forward.   Listen to discover:   The source of childhood wounding and trauma How our nervous system is designed to protect us  Why codependents and narcissists are magnets for each other (and why it's easier for the codependent to change) How we can feel compassion for wounded people without accepting abuse Why people stay in abusive relationships and how to help a friend in an abusive relationship The difference between PTSD and complex PTSD How to begin building self-worth even if you're still in an abusive relationship    Whether you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist or not, you will get SO much out of this episode and gain a greater understanding of why you do what you do, what is going on in your brain in relation to trauma and how to heal your wounding so you can form healthier relationships with self and others.   "Initially I was waiting for that epiphany of him changing to then be ok for me to move forward. And of course, that isn't the case. Because we can't change anybody."  - Caroline Strawson    "Trauma isn't a person. It's not an event. It's what I feel and what I'm saying to myself about those events." - Caroline Strawson    "Our system all of the time is working to keep us safe, keep us alive, protect us and move us away from the biggest perceived pain.” - Caroline Strawson   "No narcissist is born. They are created from their childhood." - Caroline Strawson     "The codependent is giving, giving, giving trying to soothe their self-worthiness wounds. The narcissist is like, 'Give it to me. I'll take, take, take,’ to soothe their self-worthiness wounds." - Caroline Strawson    "I think of narcissism on a scale." - Michelle Chalfant    "When we're in these relationships, our reality is so distorted. To build self-worth is to then start seeing reality much clearer." - Michelle Chalfant    "Grounding and getting all five senses online also helps us with our reality. We stop doubting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant      LINKS & RESOURCES    Caroline Strawson Website https://www.carolinestrawson.com/    Caroline Strawson Facebook https://www.facebook.com/carolinestrawson/    Caroline Strawson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/    “Divorce Became My Superpower” (Caroline Strawson Book) https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549    The Adult Chair® Membership September Theme: “I’m a self-care badass!” https://theadultchair.com/membership/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart   MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

“Be a man.” It’s a loaded phrase that our culture uses to tell men to be tough, not show their feelings and just keep pressing on.   But is this true masculinity? Is there a better way to be a man?   My guest today, Traver Boehm, is on a mission to redefine masculinity, bringing together what he calls “primal savagery” and a connection to the heart that is spiritual, emotional and whole. He believes this is what true masculinity looks like, before culture told men who to be, and he spends his life teaching men how to unapologetically become their most authentic self.   And as a woman, let me tell you: this is the kind of masculine energy that the world is looking for!   In this conversation, Traver tells his story of being one of the guys who looked like he “had it all” until his life unraveled and he forced himself to look inward at the ways he was numbing his pain. From there, he developed his “uncivilized man” ethos that calls men back to their authentic selves and helps them succeed in all areas of life – from relationships to work to mental health – from a heart-centered place.   Listen to discover: What true, healthy masculinity looks like How and why the culture has conditioned men not to feel Why it’s so important – and manly – for men to do their work and heal themselves What to do when your partner doesn’t want to engage emotionally and spiritually How to get the things you want in life without killing your soul in the process Whether you’re a man looking to be the healthiest version of yourself or a woman looking for resources for the men in her life, I know you will be inspired by Traver’s beautiful example of what masculinity was designed to be and how healthy men can change the world. “Primal savagery and a deep connection to your heart: that to me is ‘uncivilized’” - Traver Boehm “The part that’s been missing has been going into the heart.” - Michelle Chalfant “Culturally, we have asked men to not feel.” - Traver Boehm “The old paradigm said, ‘Men, you are responsible for everything external and nothing internal.’” - Traver Boehm “We’ve numbed ourselves to the point of getting to ignore what is true, which is we are hurting.” - Traver Boehm “We’ve got to connect with ourselves – and we do that through feeling our emotions – before we can ever connect with anyone else.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES   Traver Boehm Website https://www.manuncivilized.com/   “Man UNcivilized” Book https://www.manuncivilized.com/thebook   Traver Boehm Instagram https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm/   The Adult Chair® Membership September Theme: “I’m a self-care badass!” https://theadultchair.com/membership/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart     MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/       STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When Niraj Naik started his job as a pharmacist, he immediately knew it was not for him. But family and cultural expectations led him to believe that it was the path he had to take in life...until it all fell apart seven years later.   Career stress and disillusionment led Niraj to develop an autoimmune condition, and nothing in his medicine cabinet helped. After trying all types of traditional medicine, he went “renegade” and began studying yoga, Ayurveda and breathwork, completely healing his condition through these natural methods.   His illness became the “gift of desperation” in his life that led him to his calling: teaching the world about energy, breath and how to bring the body into balance through SOMA Breath®, his online school teaching breathing techniques to people around the world.   In this episode, Niraj shares his story of healing through ancient wisdom and the science behind the power of the breath. He gives several breathing techniques for us to try and explains how these impact our oxygen levels, energy levels and overall physiology for optimum wellness.   Listen to discover: How Niraj turned his lowest moment into a gift of healing Using music and breath to reprogram the subconscious mind How to listen to your body’s “indicator light” that something is off Questions to ask yourself to check in with your wellness The power of breathing for your physiology and health Three sample breathing techniques to try This is an eye-opening episode about the true power we have to heal and how our bodies were designed for balance. It’s up to us to pay attention to when we are out of balance and to care for ourselves at the most fundamental level – our breath. “We tend to be conditioned by our parents, the school we go to, the media, just the culture we live in to follow a certain path.” - Niraj Naik “So many of us just push through, we ignore, we numb out, we just keep going and we’re not tuning into what your soul is trying to tell you.” - Michelle Chalfant “Diseases affect you where you’re weakest in your body.” - Niraj Naik “In that moment, as humans, we have a choice: we can look at it and learn from it and ask, ‘What the gift is in this?’” - Michelle Chalfant “Stress can eat away at us, and we ignore it. We have to start paying attention.” - Michelle Chalfant “We help people to wake up to who they really are.” - Niraj Naik Resources   SOMA Breath® https://www.somabreath.com/adultchair Use code ADULT for 10% off   SOMA Breath Colostrum Supplement https://www.somabreath.com/adultchair-organic Use code ADULT for 20% off   Episode #73: The Healing Power Of Breath With Michelle D’Avella https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/73-the-healing-power-of-breath-with-michelle-davella/   Episode #254: Change Your Life With Breath With Nevsah Karamehmet https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/254/   Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

I think it’s universally agreed upon: raising teenagers is hard!    A natural part of growing up is becoming an individual, which comes with challenging limits, venturing away from the family structure and challenging parents in the process!    Not only do our teens challenge us by pushing back on our boundaries, but the process of letting go of our kids also challenges our egos and attachments and pushes us to do our own work. I get so many questions about parenting teenagers in a healthy way, and I’m thrilled to bring the wisdom of today’s guest, Dr. Pam Staples, to you.   Dr. Staples has worked with teenagers for 37 years, and she is so grounded and knowledgeable on how to not just get through the tough teenage years but also help your teen develop into the adult they’re called to be.   We talk about how to let go and let our children become more independent, setting healthy boundaries while maintaining a safe space for our kids to mess up, building trust, how to have tough conversations and so much more.   Listen to discover:   What’s going in teenagers’ brains and bodies during adolescence Why teenagers need their friends to create a bridge to their adult life Why you should celebrate when your kids push the limits Healthy boundaries parents should have with their teenagers (and when to discipline) The importance of mutual trust in parent/teen relationships  Empty nesting and how to grieve in a healthy way  Practical steps for building positive relationships with your teenagers   As parents, our job is to be the guardrails for our kids as they find who they are and their unique purpose and destiny. Too often we focus on outcomes, performance and our dreams for our kids, when in reality, they need to learn to find their own inner voice and intuition and be who THEY are created to be (which might be very different from who we are). As kids grow from children to teenagers, we begin to “widen the lanes” on the road, giving them more space and freedom while still being that safe touchstone to come back to.  When we set healthy limits for our kids rooted in mutual respect, we invite them to turn to us when they need guidance and become partners in their personal development, while growing as people ourselves.  This doesn’t necessarily make it easier when you find out your teen has been drinking or when they want nothing to do with you, but parenting from our Adult Chair helps us lead with love, curiosity and acceptance...which is exactly what our kids need to grow into the amazing beings they’re becoming.   “Once they hit adolescence, they start turning away from the family and more towards their peer group.” - Dr. Pam Staples   “We want them to have that God-given intuition turn on and stay on.” - Michelle Chalfant   “In order for them to differentiate and individuate, they need to push off of something, and it’s going to be the family.” - Dr. Pam Staples   “It’s important to create flexible boundaries where you allow for that teaching, mentoring and guiding aspect of parenting.” - Dr. Pam Staples “It’s letting go of these kids so they can become whoever it is that they’re here to become...I didn’t say, ‘so our kids can become who WE think they should become.” - Michelle Chalfant “We have to get out of the way with our children. They have their own destiny. They have their own life path. They have, in my opinion, their own soul that has a purpose and mission to be here. And we’ve got to get the hell out of the way.” - Michelle Chalfant “As a parent, you can’t impose your hopes, your wishes and your dreams for your children onto them. You have to let them cook up their own.”  - Dr. Pam Staples “When kids make choices to please their parents, it takes them longer to find themselves.” - Dr. Pam Staples “Let your kids find their own potential.” - Dr. Pam Staples     Resources   Dr. Pam Staples ​https://www.myrelationallife.com/      Episode #35: Parenting In The 21st Century – Growing Healthy Teens With Guest Dr. James Wellborn https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/35     Episode #79: Raising Teens From Your Adult Chair With James Wellborn https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/79     Episode #123 : Helping your Kids Cope with Anxiety with Sharon Selby https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/123     Episode #134: Repairing Relationships with our Kids (or Anyone) https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/134     Episode #225: Raising Kids from The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/225     The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ More Adult Chair    The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

While our go-to image of mental health might be a couch in a therapist’s office, the world is slowly changing (and I’m SO glad it is!). Don’t get me wrong...I’m not anti-therapy (I’m a therapist myself), but I think it’s only part of the equation. I believe we need more.   I believe true healing must be holistic, looking at our experiences from every angle and using methods that heal body, mind and spirit.   Dr. Nicole LePera is a kindred spirit when it comes to holistic healing, the creator behind one of my favorite Instagram accounts @the.holistic.psychologist and a self-healing guru that I am thrilled to finally bring on the show! Drawing from psychology, spirituality, the mind/body connection and more, Dr. LePera believes mental wellness is for everyone and we all have the power to heal ourselves with the right tools (can I get an amen?).   In this episode, Dr. LePera shares her own story of transformation, her philosophy of self-healing and tools you can use to regulate your nervous system, figure out who you are and what you need and change limiting patterns in your life by turning in and tuning in.   Listen to discover: The power of consciousness and being in the present moment The nervous system’s role in healing The importance of breathwork The power of journaling to create consciousness and set intentions How to update and rewire programming Interdependence and how to be healthy in relationships Dr. LePera believes healing begins by going inside and connecting to self, and I couldn’t agree more (it’s ALL about awareness)! If you’re on a journey of transformation, I hope this episode encourages you to look at your healing through a holistic lens and reminds you that you have the power (and tools) you need right where you are. "We need to understand the whole being in an integrative way, and I believe we need to expand the tools we're practicing outside of therapy as well." - Nicole LePera "You can be awake but still not be fully in the body and conscious about what you're doing." - Michelle Chalfant "There isn't one universal way to heal." - Nicole LePera "My goal is to empower within so we can cope with the ever-changing without." - Nicole LePera   "With conscious effort, every single day, a little bit of something...we do find that people can change. We REALLY can change." - Michelle Chalfant Resources   Dr. Nicole LePera Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/   Dr. Nicole LePera Website https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/   The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

We’ve talked a lot about narcissistic abuse and the emotional effects of it on this podcast, but we haven’t dug into how this experience affects the brain and how neuroscience and healing from narcissistic abuse go hand in hand…until today! In this episode, we’re diving deep into this very important topic with Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who is an expert on the brain, neuroplasticity and trauma and who brings a message of hope to anyone wondering how to heal.   Dr. Freeman is a neuropsychologist who works with patients with neurological conditions and brain trauma, and after her own experience in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, she began using her knowledge of the brain to help survivors of abuse and trauma heal. This is an absolutely fascinating episode that gives an inside look into what is actually going on in the brain during and after an abusive relationship, how the healing process works and the hopeful science that shows why anyone can change their brain after trauma.   Listen to discover:   How a romantic relationship with an unhealthy person changes the brain The effects of narcissism on children Why anyone can heal and how the healing process works The prefrontal cortex and trauma How to get back into a balanced brain state The importance of body work in changing the brain   One of the most interesting things Dr. Freeman talks about is how abusive situations activate parts of the brain that wouldn’t be activated otherwise...for example, the bonding system and threat system being triggered at the same time. When we can see what’s going on at a brain chemistry level, it helps us understand why these situations are truly so unique and damaging...and why none of it is your fault! But the hopeful side is that the brain is constantly changing and being shaped by new experiences, so with the right tools, you can heal and transform your brain and get back to a hothealthy, balanced state...and this episode will show you how!   “In general, experiences change our brains.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman   “The brain will do whatever it takes to protect you.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman   “We’re bonded...and even though we’re in threat, we can’t let go.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You have to have others to heal.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman   “Pay attention to your intuition. If it feels off, don’t sweep it under the carpet.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Bonds don’t necessarily mean love.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman     LINKS & RESOURCES   Dr. Rhonda Freeman Website https://neuroinstincts.com/   Dr. Rhonda Freeman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/neuroinstincts/   BrainHQ (Brain Training) https://www.brainhq.com/   Diner Dash (Video Game with Cognitive Benefits) https://www.crazygames.com/game/diner-dash   The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/   The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ August Theme: I live in peace.   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart       MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/       STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

As you know, codependency is one of my “things.” Fortunately, it’s less of a thing these days, but I understand firsthand what it’s like to spend years so focused on others that we lose our sense of self. That’s part of why we talk about this so much on the podcast — so many people suffer for years not knowing about codependency, and I’m passionate about helping you get free...quickly and simply!   My guest today, Darlene Lancer, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author and expert on codependency and relationships. She has worked with couples and individuals for 30 years, and she shares SO much valuable information in today’s show about what codependency looks like, how to begin recovery, the connection between shame and codependency and practical steps to becoming a healthy, whole you.   Listen to discover: The three stages to codependency recovery The shame and codependency connection Shame attacks and how to get out of them The importance of mindfulness in recovery How to start feeling your anger as a codependent The connection between codependency and attachment styles 10 ways to love yourself   Darlene closes the show with her 10 tips for loving yourself, and let me tell you, they are so beautiful! I remember when I was beginning my healing journey and being told I needed to learn self-love but having no idea where to begin...and these tips are exactly where to start! I hope this is an enlightening and empowering episode for anyone ready to unlearn codependency and learn to love themselves.     "We become alienated from who we really are because of faulty parenting, and we keep trying to fill up that emptiness or feel more alive by trying to connect to something outside ourselves." - Darlene Lancer   "Self-esteem in action is being self-empowered." - Darlene Lancer   "A parent's most important job is to reflect their child." - Michelle Chalfant   "Codependency is based on faulty beliefs." - Darlene Lancer   "The unconscious doesn't distinguish between messages it hears from the outside and messages you tell yourself." - Darlene Lancer   "When we realize what's going on, it's like Act 2. And it's a very exciting time." - Michelle Chalfant       LINKS & RESOURCES   Darlene Lancer Website https://www.whatiscodependency.com/   Episode #249: The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/249/   Episode #253: Codependency and Anger with Michelle Farris https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/253/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Doors open August 1 https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart       MORE ADULT CHAIR   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/       STAY CONNECTED   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Everyone wants a caring, loving family, right? But is it possible for close to become too close? “Enmeshment” is a term that’s been gaining more traction recently, and it describes family systems that are intertwined in unhealthy ways. These families appear very loving from the outside, but that love is often based on guilt and obligation...and usually the family doesn’t even know this about themselves! My brilliant guest today, Dr. Ken Adams, is pulling back the veil on enmeshment and helping us understand what it is and when and how it forms. One of the leading researchers and teachers on this topic, Dr. Adams helps us understand when closeness crosses a line, how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy family structures and how to break free and develop secure attachments to your partner, friends or other relationships you’ve created.   Listen to discover: What enmeshment means How it forms in childhood The effects enmeshment has on a spouse or partner How to change the family system Why getting free is something you have to do for yourself Often, enmeshment is rooted in a lonely parent who substitutes their child for their partner. This leads to adult children who feel a sense of obligation to the parent’s well-being, even at the expense of their own needs or the life they’ve created.   The good news is that this doesn't have to be an either/or scenario. It’s possible to love your family without feeling tangled up with them, and you CAN redefine the relationship and become free to be who you’re meant to be — including a great son or daughter.   “The love contract is defined by obligatory guilt and loyalty, not about freedom to love.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “The empathetic, sensitive soul in the family gets glommed onto by the lonely parent.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “Enmeshment has a direct impact on romantic availability.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “Emancipation is not a negotiation.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “The idea of cracking [the false self] open and becoming the true self is terrifying because we don’t know who we are without that mask.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It feels like your spouse is having an affair, but it’s with their mother or their father.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Dr. Ken Adams Website https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/   Dr. Ken Adams YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFj2abP0cx8tEO1eLyjbDA   “When He’s Married to Mom” (Dr. Ken Adams book) https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/when-hes-married-to-mom/   “Silently Seduced” (Dr. Ken Adams book) https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/silently-seduced/   The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com      

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week’s episode with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we’ve done over the years...and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship.   In this week’s episode, I’m focusing the conversation back on the self and how we can each choose to show up differently in our relationships from our Adult Chair. We can’t make anyone change, but if we think of relationships as a dance, we can change the way we’re dancing, which gives our partners the opportunity to shift and fall into step with us. This is true for all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones.   Listen to discover: My story of changing the dance in my own marriage How to change the tone of your relationship by doing your own work Finding your self-worth and setting boundaries in relationships How to be more open and relational   We all bring our wounds, expectations and “stuff” to a relationship. When we do our work, we not only transform our own lives but we change the tone of our relationships, inviting friends and partners who are a true match for us into a new way of relating to each other. Everything — including strong, connected relationships — starts within!   “If you want to change your relationship with anybody, you’ve gotta change the dance.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We are always attracting in other people based on our unconscious programming.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You’ve gotta see yourself as a very beautiful, precious diamond, and when you can see yourself like that, boundaries become more natural.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you own your stuff, it sets you free.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Episode #251: How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/251/   The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Everyone wants connection — we’re hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we’ve connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners.   On this week’s podcast, I have a very, very special guest...my husband! We’re talking with you today together and sharing some very personal details about our marriage and how feeling emotions has changed our relationship for the better.   Graham comes from a background where emotions weren’t expressed, and I come from an Italian family that was very expressive. For so many years, we both saw the other as not emotional enough or too emotional. Learning to feel, honor and share our emotions has deepened our connection so much and been so transformational for us.   In this episode, Graham shares what helped him learn to process his emotions, how that’s changed his response to different situations and the changes we’ve both seen in our relationship.   Listen to discover: How relationships can help us overcome childhood issues when we approach them with consciousness The importance of raw, open communication in a relationship Somatic processing and the power of feeling emotions in the body Navigating anger and stress in a relationship How feeling emotions deepens intimacy (both emotional and physical)   By the way, Graham did all of this work on his own (no bonus points for having a spouse who is a therapist and coach!). Which means YOU can do this too! We’re all born with the ability to feel our emotions, but we have to tune in with intention instead of running away from them. When we do, we’ll find they stop coming out sideways and are instead an invitation into deeper connection with others.   “When we engage in a relationship with another human being, our childhood issues are going to rear up. That person is here to help us work through those childhood issues.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Once our youngest child left the house, then it all slowed down and it became more apparent to me that I needed to figure out this ‘feeling’ thing.” - Graham Chalfant   “I learned I could just sit with it and in 30 seconds, that heaviness would literally melt away.” - Graham Chalfant   “Everybody has the ability to feel emotions. At some point along our life journey, we turn them off and turn them down.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you feel an emotion without building a story around it, the emotion goes through you in 90 seconds.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Episode #42: Inviting Your Relationship into The Adult Chair with Michelle and Graham Chalfant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/42-inviting-your-relationship-into-the-adult-chair-with-michelle-and-graham-chalfant/   Episode #49: Am I a Fraud? Imposter Syndrome & You! https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/49-am-i-a-fraud-imposter-syndrome-you/   The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ July Theme: I live in balance.   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Applications open for those on the waitlist July 12!   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Compassion is something we have when we live in our healthiest Adult self, but how easy is it for you to turn around and offer that compassion to yourself? Most of us speak very differently to ourselves than we would to a friend, especially when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time.   But self-compassion is an essential part of healing! In fact, studies show that truly effective therapy is improved by increasing our self-compassion so we can live with more love and less anxiety and stress. My guest today, Dr. Kristin Neff, is one of the world’s leading self-compassion experts and one of the first to conduct scientific research on the benefits of self-compassion and how it can change your life. I LOVED our conversation, which covers everything from what self-compassion is and how to cultivate it to the inner critic, anger, gender roles and the way society often makes it difficult to cultivate self-compassion.   Listen to discover: What self compassion really is The three core components of self-compassion Emotional and behavioral self-compassion practices Why self-compassion is not selfish When anger is constructive and loving Why self-compassion is essential for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress Self-compassion is not selfish. In fact, studies show that when we show ourselves compassion, it actually increases our compassion for others! Life is messy and none of us is perfect, which is why approaching the journey — both ours and others’ — with gentleness and kindness is so important to being healthy! “The biggest problem with self-esteem is it’s contingent on success.” - Dr. Kristin Neff   “The word ‘compassion’ by definition is a connected stance.” - Dr. Kristin Neff   “I know from practicing The Adult Chair, where we’re mindful, we practice self-compassion, we’re living in the moment, we’re tuning into the moment...it gets easier.” - Michelle Chalfant   “What reminds you to practice self-compassion is your suffering.” - Dr. Kristin Neff   “I really changed myself through self-compassion.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Dr. Kristin Neff Website https://self-compassion.org/   “Fierce Self-Compassion” https://www.amazon.com/Fierce-Self-Compassion-Harness-Kindness-Thrive/dp/006299106X   The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ July Theme: I live in balance.   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Applications open for those on the waitlist July 12!   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

The work we do in The Adult Chair® isn’t just about healing past wounding, working with the inner child, parts work or uncovering unconscious programming (though you know I LOVE all of those things).   It’s also about navigating everyday life...what’s happening in the here and now.   Because let’s be honest: when life comes at us (and it always does), it can be hard to stay grounded and in peace and balance. It’s often the everyday experiences of flat tires, our kids talking back to us, our boss giving us a last-minute deadline and home projects gone awry where stress, anger, and anxiety build up and we find ourselves seated smack dab in our Adolescent Chair.   But that’s exactly what The Adult Chair model is here for. It's a model for how to live as the healthiest version of yourself and a manual for everyday life..including when you're having just “one of those days.”   In this episode, I’m walking you through some key Adult Chair principles that are designed to help you navigate everyday stress and stay in balance, even when curveballs get thrown your way. I’m sharing some real examples from my recent home remodel and how I was able to witness the choices I had in each small moment and choose the ones that pulled me out of stress and into peace (even when in a frustrating situation). These tips are simple and practical, and if I can do it, I promise you can too!   Listen to discover: How to live with presence Why curiosity can change any situation How to witness thoughts without buying into them The importance of protecting your own nervous system Working with triggers How to stay in your Adult when dealing with work and parenting challenges These principles don’t mean we don’t feel stress or anger. They just mean we don’t let it overtake us. When life happens, there is always a moment where we have a choice and that choice is to either go into the negativity or to take charge of the situation and do what is needed without added suffering or drama. This is how we honor our Child’s emotions and the Adolescent’s need to protect while operating from a place of consciousness and staying in our peaceful Adult Chair. “When I live with presence, I’m not going into the past and pulling up ammunition for what’s going on in my present moment, and I’m also not launching into the future to figure out what’s coming.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We’ve got 70,000 to 90,000 thoughts a day. We don’t need to follow all of them.” - Michelle Chalfant   “My emotions are not in control of me. They just run through me.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The world mirrors where we are with…how well we’re living in the healthiest version of ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Things happen to us and how we see it and perceive it and tell the story can really stir up some serious drama.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Drama is a choice. Pulling out anger is a choice. And it affects only me.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We have to make choices and changes in our life to get ourselves out of stress.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

When we form intimate partnerships in life, it goes far beyond love. The relationship becomes our home, our social circle, our sense of safety, and our way of living.   That’s why betrayal in intimate relationships, whether infidelity or lying, is so hurtful. It doesn’t just cause emotional pain, but it also shakes our entire sense of safety and reality. It’s a true multi-layered trauma that is not nearly as simple as breaking up and moving on or deciding to forgive and stay together.   The betrayed partner often faces feelings of confusion, self-doubt, shame, hurt, distrust and even PTSD. And the betrayer often has an addiction or attachment wound that underlies the betrayal. Both partners need support and healing, whether they choose to repair the relationship or step into a new chapter.   My guests today, Duane Osterlind and Marnie Breecker, both specialize in helping people heal after infidelity and betrayal by looking at it through a holistic lens that takes into account all the various forms of trauma that the betrayal has caused. In this episode, they share such important information about why betrayal is such a big deal, the different ways it affects us and how to rebuild safety and trust in a relationship if both partners decide they want to stay together. This is such an insightful show that sheds light on how attachment works, how trust forms, what trauma is and the deeper story behind betrayal.   Listen to discover: The six dimensions of betrayal trauma Why betrayal trauma can lead to PTSD How you can rebuild trust after a betrayal The importance of the "second brain" What the betrayed partner needs Where to find support The true source of affairs At the end of the day, each one of us is seeking connection. When a betrayal occurs, it’s often an unhealthy way of getting the connection we all crave. It is possible to rebuild a sense of safety, trust, secure attachment and connection after betrayal — whether you choose to rebuild that with the same partner or for yourself and in future relationships. “We’re talking about a lot of complex systems in the brain. We’re talking about attachment. We’re talking about where we are in this life.” - Duane Osterlind   “When intimate relationships are betrayed, it impacts the primary feeling of safety that a person has in their life structure.” - Duane Osterlind   “This is an existential crisis and an attachment trauma for the partner, and all systems of meaning have been shattered." - Marnie Breecker   "Our nature is to trust the person we're living with." - Michelle Chalfant   "We were wired to connect, and in order to connect, we have to be able to trust." - Marnie Breecker   "We don't know how to communicate in a healthy way with other people." - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Helping Couples Heal (Duane and Marnie Website) https://helpingcouplesheal.com/   Helping Couples Heal Podcast https://helpingcouplesheal.com/podcasts/   Novus Mindful Life Institute (Duane Website) https://novusmindfullife.com/   Center for Relational Healing (Marnie Website) http://lacrh.com/   APSATS (The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) https://www.apsats.org/   IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) https://iitap.com/   The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com\

We all want healthier, stronger relationships. As beings wired for connection, relationships can bring us the greatest joy and fulfillment in life...or, when they’re full of chaos, drama, miscommunication, and misunderstandings, they can bring lots of pain and confusion.   When we’re experiencing relationship drama, our first reaction is to blame our partner or assume we’re with the wrong person. But the truth is that we get to define our relationships by how we show up in them...we’re creating either an Adolescent relationship (think blame, drama and ego) or an Adult relationship (centered on truth, clarity and empathy). We have the power to transform our relationships just by changing the Chair we’re sitting in!    In this episode, I’m bringing back my friend, Tracy, who has shared her journey through her divorce and reentering the dating scene. Now, she’s in a relationship and she is sharing how The Adult Chair® has helped her change that relationship for the better.    She opens up about how both she and her boyfriend brought their individual fears and doubts to the table and how a series of stories and assumptions actually led them to break up for several months. But when she realized this relationship was too important to her to lose, she decided to drop assumptions and blame and instead get vulnerable and speak her truth (be in her Adult Chair!). When she did this, it completely transformed the dynamics of her relationship, and it’s now stronger than ever!   Listen to discover: How to use The Adult Chair model in relationships  The moment that turned Tracy’s relationship completely around  How rationalization and blame ruin relationships How to get out of the weeds in relationship communication The power of vulnerability  Tracy did such an amazing job in the conversation she had with her boyfriend, and I’m so proud of how she models The Adult Chair for him and for everyone listening to the show. It is incredibly uncomfortable to get vulnerable. It’s even more uncomfortable to let go of our ego, own our role in the relationship, stop trying to prove we’re right and instead look for solutions. But when we do this, we invite our partner into a different kind of relationship — one centered on common goals, a higher perspective and a model that works!    “There has to be, when we’re in our Adult Chair, taking responsibility, owning your reality, being honest and talking about the elephant in the room.” - Michelle Chalfant    “I practiced speaking fact and truth and being totally vulnerable.” - Tracy    “If you’re having an argument, it gets you nowhere. You have to go with a higher perspective.” - Michelle Chalfant     “I’m blown away by how the work you have done, this Adult Chair model, how it truly works.” - Tracy   “It’s no one’s job but our own to share with others what we’re experiencing.” - Michelle Chalfant     “[The Adult Chair] gives us tools for how to show up in life.” - Michelle Chalfant    Resources   Episode #179: I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/    Episode #199: Dating from The Adult Chair® https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/199/    The Adult Chair® Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/    P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair    The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

We as a society and individuals don’t do grief very well. For most of us, it’s something we’d rather just not “do” at all. Even knowing what to say to a grieving friend can leave us tongue-tied and lost.   But as much as we wish it weren't true, if we’re human, we’re going to experience loss at some point in life. And grief takes many forms. It can come with a change in lifestyle, a relationship or job we love or with the loss of a pet, sending a child off to school or of course, the death or loss of a loved one.   We all experience loss, but we don’t all experience grief...and we need to learn how to experience grief, because like any emotion, it heals when we turn toward it and allow ourselves to feel it.   In this episode, I’m talking with two beautiful women, sisters Sharon and Erica, grief specialists who guide others through grief based on their own personal journey of walking through grief together. Their journey started when Erica lost not one but two children, and they found how truly lacking they were for support and resources. They decided there must be a better way and began searching for ways to heal that actually worked.   In this episode, Sharon and Erica tell their honest, raw and real stories about loss and what it really looks like to heal.   Listen to discover:  The true definition of grief and how we all have multiple grieving experiences  The difference between experiencing grief and processing grief Why we should not compare our losses with someone else’s The main reason people get stuck in grief The importance of teaching our children how to grieve  The most important thing you can do for a griever   Sharon and Erica are full of such incredible insight and wisdom on what grief actually looks like, how to process it and why the traditional advice just doesn’t work. If you’re looking for advice on how to talk to or support someone who is grieving or how to heal from your own loss, I know this episode is going to help you see grief in a new way and let you know you're not alone.    "Grief is so overwhelming. It's completely debilitating. It affects every area of your life, every single relationship you have. So, who wants that?" – Erica Honore “The most powerful thing you could do is just sit with a griever.” – Sharon Brubaker  “One of the most disrespectful things you can say to a griever is ‘I know how you feel.’” – Sharon Brubaker  “Healing from grief is possible. But what happens as a society is that we say you'll never get over that." – Sharon Brubaker "Some days, I'm going to cry. Some days, I'm going to be mad. Some days, I'm not going to know what I feel. But it's all okay." – Erica Honore LINKS & RESOURCES:  Healing Start with the Heart (Sharon and Erica’s Website) https://www.healingstartswiththeheart.com/  Other Podcast Episodes on Grief https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/?sterm=grief  The Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches   The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/  P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/  Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart  MORE ADULT CHAIR:  The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

 Codependency is one of those issues that can often come across as selfless to those around us...in fact, it might even earn us praise because we seem so nice and helpful (although at our own expense).   But what if I told you that codependency was actually a form of control? This episode today was inspired by a very insightful question from one of our listeners who shared his realization that in his codependency, he was being unintentionally manipulative and controlling. He was showing up as the ever-helpful husband, but he was often doing this from a place of trying to get his own needs met (earning his wife’s love, support, etc.). Of course, this was not conscious, and once he had his awakening, he wanted to know how to move forward and learn how to be genuinely helpful and healthy.   Codependency is one of my favorite topics to talk about, and in this episode, I’m giving you five simple steps for what to do next when you find yourself asking, “I’m codependent. Now what?”   Listen to discover: How we improve our relationships with others when we’re codependent Why this is different than intentional or abusive control Five steps to break the pattern of codependency Why realizing you’re codependent isn’t a bad thing If this is you, the first step is to drop the blame and shame. You weren’t trying to be manipulative; you were trying to survive based on what your programming told you to do. Once you realize this, you can step into a whole new chapter in your life...one filled with healthier relationships and a healthier connection to self!   “We’re controlling and being manipulative from an unconscious place.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We betray ourselves and change who we are in order to make sure other people outside of us are happy and peaceful. That’s how it’s manipulative and controlling.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We need someone who can fact check us.” - Michelle Chalfant   “That’s why so many codependents are so exhausted, because our energy is going out to others all day, every day.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Other Podcast Episodes on Codependency https://theadultchair.com/?s=codependency&pageName=default   The Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

The world around us demands so much of us. If we’re not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life.   I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it’s no wonder she’s become so well known for her work. But her new book might just be my favorite yet — I truly couldn’t put it down (it’s SO aligned with The Adult Chair®) — and I’m beyond thrilled to have her on the show to discuss how to have a radical (and beautiful) awakening in life.   In this conversation, we explore the way our ego and our social conditioning covers up the true self and keeps us from living free lives. This can be especially true for those oriented towards giving, nurturing and connecting. Society takes these gifts and trains us to be outward focused, seeking praise, validation and approval instead of turning inward and claiming who we really are.   Dr. Shefali shares her own story of awakening, when she realized that despite her work, she was living in the “matrix” and ignoring her true wants and needs to try to get love from others (what she calls the “beggar” mentality). By going deep into the often difficult work of looking at the ego and the masks we all wear, she was able to strip away the lies and see what was true — and step into the authentic self-love and self-care we all deserve.   Listen to discover: Shefali’s own radical awakening The trap women (and men) fall into How to stop suppressing the true self What soul erosion is and how it forms The “triple threat” women face in childhood The role of the ego in our life What keeps us from awakening (especially in our culture) This is a profound conversation that will take the blinders off and change what you think is normal, while inspiring you to strive for what is truly possible for you — and for all of us.   “We, women especially, need to snap out of our chronic civility, helplessness and unworthiness.”  - Dr. Shefali   “We cannot waste our life never discovering our true self.” - Dr. Shefali   “When we’re told we can only be given worth when we put others before ourselves, now that giving heart leads to an obliteration of ourselves.” - Dr. Shefali   “We’re so disconnected from our true self, we don’t know who we are at all.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The way out is in. We have to go in to heal.” - Michelle Chalfant   “I want what’s on the other side of that wall, but you got to go through the wall, and the wall is our pain.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We tell ourselves the greatest stories in the world, and we don’t know we’re telling ourselves stories.” - Dr. Shefali   “The greatest narcissism is to pretend you’re not a queen or a king and not own your voice.” - Dr. Shefali   Resources   “A Radical Awakening” Book and Course http://aradicalawakening.com/    Dr. Shefali Website https://www.drshefali.com/   Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

It takes courage to do our work and look at the stuff that scares us, and I believe we all need encouragement and inspiration along the way. And the story I have for you today is SO inspiring!   I got to know Susan Gorey as part of The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. From the beginning, I could feel Susan’s strength and her fearlessness around speaking up for what she felt was right. But I also witnessed her unconsciously causing others to feel uncomfortable and unsafe around her. Susan called it putting off a feeling of “broken glass” — a sharpness or sense of conflict or that would sometimes come out in communication. During the certification program, she faced this “broken glass” and some of her deepest fears. This caused her to go through an incredible and fast transformation…and I know it’s real, because it’s stuck!   In this episode, Susan shares what it was like growing up in an environment filled with criticism and conflict and how that childhood wounding caused her to show up later in life — looking for love through masks, feeling like she had to be bold and strong and not always self-regulating her approach to conflict and relationships.   Then she shares how she used The Adult Chair and our work together to drop the cement suitcase she was carrying from childhood, go deep into the shadow beliefs she carried and transform from within so her wounding stopped running the show. This is a raw and real episode that shows what truly is possible on this journey of healing!   Listen to discover: Susan’s story of transformation using The Adult Chair model How she broke a generational cycle of criticism and judgment Her journey of dropping the cement suitcase and no longer living from her wounding How we worked together to bring an experiential shift into her life The changes she has seen in herself and her relationships since her transformation At the end of the episode, I share a very special surprise for Susan that might leave you a little teary-eyed (at least she and I were!).   I love Susan’s story so much because it’s a beautiful example of how we don’t have to change who we are when we transform…we actually reveal who we really are. Susan’s strength and tenacity are beautiful qualities — and now she and everyone around her gets to experience them from her Adult self instead of the wounded self.   Doing our work isn’t easy, but as Susan shows, when we’re willing to go into the darkness and shadows and walk through them, we can stop living in them and instead find new life on the other side! “We have to clean our slate...because we can only take people as far as we have gone.” - Michelle Chalfant “I brought light to my shadowy areas.” - Susan Gorey   “We all live from our childhood wounding. We all get covered up. That true self gets covered up by all these masks.” - Michelle Chalfant   “In The Adult Chair, we become conscious of who we are and our wounding.” - Michelle Chalfant   “What I realized is my wounding, my childhood, my sadness and all of those masks...I didn’t have to carry it anymore.” - Susan Gorey   “We get signs of who we are all the time.”  - Michelle Chalfant   “When we look at our stuff that scares us the most, we come out as transformed people.”  - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Susan Gorey Website https://forwardtogethercoaching.com/   The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: “I Own.”) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

We talk a lot about how to set boundaries in The Adult Chair®, but sometimes we forget that we are human and sometimes we cross others’ boundaries. The other side of mastering boundaries is learning how to humbly and gracefully receive a boundary when the tables are turned and we’re the ones being asked to shift our behavior or approach.   It’s very easy to perceive boundaries as criticism and go on the defensive, but receiving a boundary is an opportunity to understand someone better and deepen our relationships. When we show up with presence, pay attention to our triggers and respond with grace, we grow as a person and show up in a more intentional and loving way with the people around us.   In this episode, we’re looking at the other side of boundaries, and I’m walking you through simple steps for how to receive a boundary well and what not to do when approached with a boundary (plus, how to recover the conversation if you do find yourself getting defensive...it happens to all of us!).   Listen to discover: Practical steps for receiving a boundary with grace Tips for recentering when triggered How to respond kindly and respectfully What not to do when someone sets a boundary with you How to spot (and get out of) an Adolescent reaction If someone comes to you with a boundary, try to think of it as them sharing with you instead of drawing a line in the sand or putting up a wall. Sharing comes from a place of vulnerability and wanting connection, and it’s an honor when someone feels safe enough to share with us...even if it feels a little hard to hear sometimes.   It takes practice to receive a boundary with grace, but when you own your stuff, you will find you have healthier relationships all around. “Give them that space to share whatever it is they need to share.” - Michelle Chalfant “Get in your Adult and remind yourself, ‘It’s not about me.’” - Michelle Chalfant “You want to make sure the person that’s sharing their boundary with you feels seen and heard.”  - Michelle Chalfant Resources   The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: “I Own.”) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can’t connect at the deep level you want?   These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn’t tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don’t know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection!   In this show, I’m chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it.   Listen to discover: What childhood emotional neglect is Why invalidating our feelings leads to shame How childhood emotional neglect affects adult relationships What emotional intimacy is Rebuilding from childhood emotional neglect Steps to start your healing journey Childhood emotional neglect isn’t necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions — our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair — is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others!   “We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life.” - Dr. Jonice Webb   “Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don’t have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down.” - Dr. Jonice Webb   “Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they’re human.” - Michelle Chalfant   “What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings.” - Dr. Jonice Webb   “Emotions are the expression of your deepest self.” - Dr. Jonice Webb   “Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Dr. Jonice Webb Website https://emotionalneglect.com   “Running on Empty” (Dr. Jonice Webb book) https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/   Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

I know you guys love all things Enneagram (and I do too!), so I’m thrilled to bring back our resident Enneagram expert and dear friend of mine, Ramona Reid. Ramona, who is also an Adult Chair® Certified Coach, has always done a beautiful job weaving together The Adult Chair® with the Enneagram, helping us understand how our inner child and childhood wounding shapes our personality type and how our Adolescent fear manifests depending on our Enneagram type.   But the point of the Enneagram is not to put you in a box of personality...it’s to help you see the ways you’re already stuck so you can transform and become a more whole, authentic self! Each type also has the healthiest, highest version of their type (aka The Adult Chair) where the beautiful gifts and virtues of each type bring healing to the world...for example, Type 1’s integrity, Type 2’s love, Type 8’s power and Type 9’s peace.   So, in this episode, we’re focusing on what healthy looks like for each Enneagram type, so you can better understand what life looks like for you when you are in your Adult Chair!   Listen to discover: A breakdown of all nine types and their highest versions What The Adult Chair looks like for each Enneagram type How to tell when you’re becoming healthier Why we all access healing differently I hope this episode gives you a guide to see when you’re living in your Adult Chair and reminds you of the beautiful gifts you uniquely bring to the world! “When we’re in our Adolescent...our way of being is coming from the illusion that there’s something missing....When we start to realize that we are in fact the source of this thing that we think is missing...that’s when we start being in our Adult Chair.” - Ramona Reid “The only way we can really get there is to identify the feeling behind the doing.” - Ramona Reid   “I don't think time heals. I think really getting in there and being curious and working with our emotions is what heals wounds.” - Ramona Reid   "This is what The Adult Chair is all about. That's why we've got all the aspects of what a healthy Adult looks like, so we can reach and point our energy towards that." - Michelle Chalfant   "You're not going to lose those parts of yourself. You're going to lose the part of yourself that acts out by not wanting to be scared." - Ramona Reid   "The next thought is the conscious thought from the Adult perspective." - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Ramona Reid Website http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/   Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self at the Heart of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/51/   Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair® Using The Wisdom of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/114-deepening-the-adult-chair-using-the-wisdom-of-the-enneagram-with-ramona-reid/   Episode #176: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/176/   Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/   Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

We’ve talked a lot about narcissistic abuse and the emotional effects of it on this podcast, but we haven’t dug into how this experience affects the brain and how neuroscience and healing from narcissistic abuse go hand in hand…until today! In this episode, we’re diving deep into this very important topic with Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who is an expert on the brain, neuroplasticity and trauma and who brings a message of hope to anyone wondering how to heal.   Dr. Freeman is a neuropsychologist who works with patients with neurological conditions and brain trauma, and after her own experience in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, she began using her knowledge of the brain to help survivors of abuse and trauma heal. This is an absolutely fascinating episode that gives an inside look into what is actually going on in the brain during and after an abusive relationship, how the healing process works and the hopeful science that shows why anyone can change their brain after trauma.   Listen to discover: How a romantic relationship with an unhealthy person changes the brain The effects of narcissism on children Why anyone can heal and how the healing process works The prefrontal cortex and trauma How to get back into a balanced brain state The importance of bodywork in changing the brain One of the most interesting things Dr. Freeman talks about is how abusive situations activate parts of the brain that wouldn’t be activated otherwise...for example, the bonding system and threat system being triggered at the same time. When we can see what’s going on at a brain-chemistry level, it helps us understand why these situations are truly so unique and damaging...and why none of it is your fault! But the hopeful side is that the brain is constantly changing and being shaped by new experiences, so with the right tools, you can heal and transform your brain and get back to a healthy, balanced state...and this episode will show you how! “In general, experiences change our brains.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman   “The brain will do whatever it takes to protect you.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman   “We’re bonded...and even though we’re in threat, we can’t let go.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You have to have others to heal.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman   “Pay attention to your intuition. If it feels off, don’t sweep it under the carpet.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Bonds don’t necessarily mean love.” - Dr. Rhonda Freeman   Resources   Dr. Rhonda Freeman Website https://neuroinstincts.com/   Dr. Rhonda Freeman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/neuroinstincts/   BrainHQ (Brain Training) https://www.brainhq.com/   Diner Dash (Video Game with Cognitive Benefits) https://www.crazygames.com/game/diner-dash   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

As you know, codependency is one of my “things.” Fortunately, it’s less of a thing these days, but I understand firsthand what it’s like to spend years so focused on others that we lose our sense of self. That’s part of why we talk about this so much on the podcast — so many people suffer for years not knowing about codependency, and I’m passionate about helping you get free...quickly and simply!   My guest today, Darlene Lancer, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author and expert on codependency and relationships. She has worked with couples and individuals for 30 years, and she shares SO much valuable information in today’s show about what codependency looks like, how to begin recovery, the connection between shame and codependency and practical steps to becoming a healthy, whole you.   Listen to discover: The three stages to codependency recovery The shame and codependency connection Shame attacks and how to get out of them The importance of mindfulness in recovery How to start feeling your anger as a codependent The connection between codependency and attachment styles 10 ways to love yourself Darlene closes the show with her 10 tips for loving yourself, and let me tell you, they are so beautiful! I remember when I was beginning my healing journey and being told I needed to learn self-love but having no idea where to begin...and these tips are exactly where to start! I hope this is an enlightening and empowering episode for anyone ready to unlearn codependency and learn to love themselves. "We become alienated from who we really are because of faulty parenting, and we keep trying to fill up that emptiness or feel more alive by trying to connect to something outside ourselves." - Darlene Lancer   "Self-esteem in action is being self-empowered." - Darlene Lancer   "A parent's most important job is to reflect their child." - Michelle Chalfant   "Codependency is based on faulty beliefs." - Darlene Lancer   "The unconscious doesn't distinguish between messages it hears from the outside and messages you tell yourself." - Darlene Lancer   "When we realize what's going on, it's like Act 2. And it's a very exciting time." - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Darlene Lancer Website https://www.whatiscodependency.com/   Episode #249: The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/249/   Episode #253: Codependency and Anger with Michelle Farris https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/253/   The Adult Chair Membership - April “I Believe” Month https://theadultchair.com/membership/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Everyone wants a caring, loving family, right? But is it possible for close to become too close?   “Enmeshment” is a term that’s been gaining more traction recently, and it describes family systems that are intertwined in unhealthy ways. These families appear very loving from the outside, but that love is often based on guilt and obligation...and usually the family doesn’t even know this about themselves!   My brilliant guest today, Dr. Ken Adams, is pulling back the veil on enmeshment and helping us understand what it is and when and how it forms. One of the leading researchers and teachers on this topic, Dr. Adams helps us understand when closeness crosses a line, how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy family structures and how to break free and develop secure attachments to your partner, friends or other relationships you’ve created.   Listen to discover: What enmeshment means How it forms in childhood The effects enmeshment has on a spouse or partner How to change the family system Why getting free is something you have to do for yourself Often, enmeshment is rooted in a lonely parent who substitutes their child for their partner. This leads to adult children who feel a sense of obligation to the parent’s well-being, even at the expense of their own needs or the life they’ve created.   The good news is that this doesn't have to be an either/or scenario. It’s possible to love your family without feeling tangled up with them, and you CAN redefine the relationship and become free to be who you’re meant to be — including a great son or daughter.   “The love contract is defined by obligatory guilt and loyalty, not about freedom to love.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “The empathetic, sensitive soul in the family gets globbed onto by the lonely parent.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “Enmeshment has a direct impact on romantic availability.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “Emancipation is not a negotiation.” - Dr. Ken Adams   “The idea of cracking [the false self] open and becoming the true self is terrifying because we don’t know who we are without that mask.” - Michelle Chalfant   “It feels like your spouse is having an affair, but it’s with their mother or their father.” - Michelle   Resources   Dr. Ken Adams Website https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/   Dr. Ken Adams YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFj2abP0cx8tEO1eLyjbDA   “When He’s Married to Mom” (Dr. Ken Adams book) https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/when-hes-married-to-mom/   “Silently Seduced” (Dr. Ken Adams book) https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/silently-seduced/   The Adult Chair Membership - April “I Believe” Month https://theadultchair.com/membership/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

This 5-minute meditation promotes relaxation, healing, and self-love.   It’s a wonderful meditation for emotional healing and/or physical healing or for anyone seeking greater peace in their lives.

Feeling stuck in life is one of the worst feelings. It can feel helpless, hopeless and confining — like no matter what we do, nothing is going to change and we have no options.   But this is a story from the ego! From our Adult, we know we ALWAYS have choices. That doesn’t always mean we love every option or we get the exact outcome we want, but we are never stuck. We can always make the next best choice.   Many of our listeners have written in asking about how to get unstuck, move forward or get their joy back, so today I’m sharing five simple steps to start getting change from the inside. These steps are easy but PACKED with power. If you try these and don’t see a change, I want to hear about it — I’m that sure they will help you!   Listen to discover: Five simple (but powerful) steps to getting unstuck What keeps us from making the changes we want How to reconnect back to ourselves The power of nature and a gratitude practice in getting unstuck How to stop talking and start doing Everything in your life begins with a dream. It starts with your imagination, daydreaming and really feeling how the life you want could feel (this is how we begin to shift energy). Then it becomes reality as your intention and action align.   The answer never comes from the outside. We have to patiently take one step forward at a time, knowing change takes time (but that it can be faster than we think). The life you deserve and are waiting for is right at your fingertips, and you can get there with these simple steps.   “If you don’t know yourself, how in the world are you going to change?” - Michelle Chalfant   “Oftentimes when we’re stuck it’s because we’re not creating.” - Michelle Chalfant   “What you talk about comes about.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The only thing that’s stuck is your thinking.” - Michelle Chalfant   “From our Adult Chair, we know we have choices.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   14 Days to Peace and Balance Journaling Prompts https://theadultchair.com/14days   5-Minute Self-Love Meditation https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/   Episode #254: Change Your Life With Breath With Nevsah Karamehmet https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/254/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Would you believe me if I told you that 90% of unexplained illnesses could be traced to one simple thing...something you do every day? Believe it or not, they can, and that thing is breathing.   Studies have shown that hundreds of different ailments that can’t be traced back to a known cause can often be connected to dysfunctional breathing. The good news is that breathing is SO simple and easy to work with (all it takes is about five minutes a day), and in this episode, I’m interviewing the perfect person to help you get started.   Nevsah Karamehmet is a breathing expert and a wealth of knowledge on the science behind the breath and how it impacts every system in our bodies. In this episode, she shares how breathing affects our thinking and ability to process emotions, what healthy breathing really looks like and how to change your life through your breath.   Listen to discover: The connection between breath and psychology The science behind healthy breathing How balancing the inhale and exhale balances the nervous system Why breathwork is a great introduction to meditation The connection between different types of breathing and different health issues Simple exercises to help you start breathing better I know what Nevsah is saying is true, because I’ve had this experience working with a personal trainer on my lower back. He connected my pain back to my breathing and has me doing breathwork to heal a physical issue. How much more is our breathing also affecting our thoughts, feelings and emotions every day? Breath is the essence of life, so it’s absolutely something we need to learn how to do. Nevsah gives us a few really basic exercises to begin with that are SO easy and can make such a huge difference in our overall well-being. Every human needs to hear this episode! “Breathing affects our psychology. The way we breathe affects how we think.” - Nevsah Karamehmet “There is no correct way to breathe on the mechanical level...We all have different breathing habits. Some of those habits are helpful and some of those are harmful.” - Nevsah Karamehmet “If your breathing is flexible, then you are healthy.” - Nevsah Karamehmet “When we don’t stop the emotions, they pass through us.” - Michelle Chalfant “In my breath journey, I became an Adult.” - Nevsah Karamehmet Resources   Nevsah Karamehmet Website https://www.nevsah.com/   Breath Coaching Federation https://www.breathcoachingfederation.org/   Breath Hub App https://breathhub.app/   Nadi Shadan Breathing Technique https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1jb7l2Uf7c   Belly Breath Technique https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q9WTzqQTns&t=2s   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Those who struggle with codependency often struggle with anger as well...but not in the way you might think. Unlike ragers or those with explosive anger, codependents tend to stuff and suppress anger to please others and avoid conflict...often not even knowing what they’re feeling themselves. This is just as unhealthy!   We need anger to guide us towards our needs and connect us to our experience. Anger, when expressed in a healthy way, can also lead to healthier relationships as we begin telling others how we feel and resolving problems before they turn into resentment.   Today, I’m talking with Michelle Farris, a licensed psychotherapist and anger management specialist, who is sharing her experience of learning to own and communicate her anger. She talks about how codependency forms, why feeling our anger is important and how to begin overcoming the fear of conflict and expressing yourself in relationships.   Listen to discover: Concrete examples of what people pleasing looks like The importance of validating emotions Beginning recovery from codependency How to catch the first thought and regulate anger (while still owning it) How to communicate your anger in a healthy way   Anger is such an important human emotion...I think of it as rocket fuel to propel us towards what we want. When we’re codependent and don’t know ourselves, anger can be a key way to tap into our core needs and desires. It’s not selfish to look inward...and what you tap into inside of yourself might surprise you.   "Whenever we hit a road bump, I always remember there's going to be a huge gift on the other side of that." - Michelle Farris   "Healthy anger is us owning how we feel in the moment." - Michelle Farris   "When we stuff our anger, we're denying our own experience." - Michelle Farris   "I think of anger as rocket fuel. It really helps to push us forward in life." - Michelle Chalfant   "We don't cross the finish and feel 100% healthy. We are all a work in progress. But the thing you want to be doing is making sure you're walking forward on your journey."  - Michelle Chalfant   “As you get healthier, you will attract healthier people into your circle.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Michelle Farris Website https://www.counselingrecovery.com/   Michelle Farris Facebook https://www.facebook.com/CounselingRecovery/   Michelle Farris Instagram https://www.instagram.com/counseling_recovery/   Episode #11: Codependency: I’m Ok If You’re Ok https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/11-codependency-im-ok-if-youre-ok/   Episode #127: Codependency: Ending the Addiction to Help Others https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/127-codependency-ending-the-addiction-to-help-others/   Episode #172: The Joy of Codependency https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/172-the-joy-of-codependency/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week’s episode (#251) with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we’ve done over the years...and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship.   In this week’s episode, I’m focusing the conversation back on the self and how we can each choose to show up differently in our relationships from our Adult Chair. We can’t make anyone change, but if we think of relationships as a dance, we can change the way we’re dancing, which gives our partners the opportunity to shift and fall into step with us. This is true for all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones.   Listen to discover: My story of changing the dance in my own marriage How to change the tone of your relationship by doing your own work Finding your self-worth and setting boundaries in relationships How to be more open and relational   We all bring our wounds, expectations and “stuff” to a relationship. When we do our work, we not only transform our own lives but we change the tone of our relationships, inviting friends and partners who are a true match for us into a new way of relating to each other. Everything — including strong, connected relationships — starts within!   “If you want to change your relationship with anybody, you’ve gotta change the dance.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We are always attracting in other people based on our unconscious programming.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You’ve gotta see yourself as a very beautiful, precious diamond, and when you can see yourself like that, boundaries become more natural.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you own your stuff, it sets you free.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Episode #251: How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/251/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)     Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com    

Everyone wants connection — we’re hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we’ve connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners.   On this week’s podcast, I have a very, very special guest...my husband! We’re talking with you today together and sharing some very personal details about our marriage and how feeling emotions has changed our relationship for the better.   Graham comes from a background where emotions weren’t expressed, and I come from an Italian family that was very expressive. For so many years, we both saw the other as not emotional enough or too emotional. Learning to feel, honor and share our emotions has deepened our connection so much and been so transformational for us.   In this episode, Graham shares what helped him learn to process his emotions, how that’s changed his response to different situations and the changes we’ve both seen in our relationship.   Listen to discover: How relationships can help us overcome childhood issues when we approach them with consciousness The importance of raw, open communication in a relationship Somatic processing and the power of feeling emotions in the body Navigating anger and stress in a relationship How feeling emotions deepens intimacy (both emotional and physical)   By the way, Graham did all of this work on his own (no bonus points for having a spouse who is a therapist and coach!). Which means YOU can do this too! We’re all born with the ability to feel our emotions, but we have to tune in with intention instead of running away from them. When we do, we’ll find they stop coming out sideways and are instead an invitation into deeper connection with others.   “When we engage in a relationship with another human being, our childhood issues are going to rear up. That person is here to help us work through those childhood issues.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Once our youngest child left the house, then it all slowed down and it became more apparent to me that I needed to figure out this ‘feeling’ thing.” - Graham Chalfant   “I learned I could just sit with it and in 30 seconds, that heaviness would literally melt away.” - Graham Chalfant   “Everybody has the ability to feel emotions. At some point along our life journey, we turn them off and turn them down.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you feel an emotion without building a story around it, the emotion goes through you in 90 seconds.” - Michelle Chalfant     Resources   Episode #42: Inviting Your Relationship into The Adult Chair with Michelle and Graham Chalfant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/42-inviting-your-relationship-into-the-adult-chair-with-michelle-and-graham-chalfant/   Episode #49: Am I Fraud? Imposter Syndrome & You! https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/49-am-i-a-fraud-imposter-syndrome-you/   P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart   The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston New Dates: September 16-18, 2021 https://theadultchair.com/charleston/   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)     Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.   Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

One of the biggest complaints I hear from clients is, “I wish my partner/parent/friend/whoever would be more empathetic!” We often look down on or get frustrated with those we don’t feel are empathetic enough, but empathy isn’t a trait you either have or you don’t...or a trait that makes someone good or bad. Like any healthy habit, it’s a skill we learn...and anyone can learn it if they want to!   Everyone wants to be heard and understood, and this is why empathy is such a beautiful skill in life: it’s a tool that helps us connect more deeply with others and show them we care. In this episode, I’m giving you four simple steps that you can use to begin practicing and building empathy with any relationship in your life!   Listen to discover: The definition of empathy Four simple steps to build empathy How to get started with feeling emotions Things you can ask the other person to show you care Why showing empathy is different than prying When you practice empathy, you open your own heart and emotional body. You deepen connection with others but also yourself! Being able to show empathy is deeply connected to our ability to feel our own emotions. And since feeling emotions and being present are core parts of The Adult Chair, as you do your own work and live in your Adult Chair more often, don’t be surprised when you find that empathy begins to come more naturally. It’s all part of being healthy!    “If you don’t listen well to others and automatically go into “fix it” mode, you may need to brush up on your empathy.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Offering empathy to another human being will get you much further than fixing them.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Deep listening with empathy can change someone.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Empathy is a skill that can be learned.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Compassion is something we have when we live in our healthiest Adult self, but how easy is it for you to turn around and offer that compassion to yourself? Most of us speak very differently to ourselves than we would to a friend, especially when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time.   But self-compassion is an essential part of healing! In fact, studies show that truly effective therapy is improved by increasing our self-compassion so we can live with more love and less anxiety and stress. My guest today, Dr. Kristin Neff, is one of the world’s leading self-compassion experts and one of the first to conduct scientific research on the benefits of self-compassion and how it can change your life. I LOVED our conversation, which covers everything from what self-compassion is and how to cultivate it to the inner critic, anger, gender roles and the way society often makes it difficult to cultivate self-compassion.   Listen to discover: What self compassion really is The three core components of self-compassion Emotional and behavioral self-compassion practices Why self-compassion is not selfish When anger is constructive and loving Why self-compassion is essential for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress Self-compassion is not selfish. In fact, studies show that when we show ourselves compassion, it actually increases our compassion for others! Life is messy and none of us is perfect, which is why approaching the journey — both ours and others’ — with gentleness and kindness is so important to being healthy! “The biggest problem with self-esteem is it’s contingent on success.” - Dr. Kristin Neff   “The word ‘compassion’ by definition is a connected stance.” - Dr. Kristin Neff   “I know from practicing The Adult Chair, where we’re mindful, we practice self-compassion, we’re living in the moment, we’re tuning into the moment...it gets easier.” - Michelle Chalfant   “What reminds you to practice self-compassion is your suffering.” - Dr. Kristin Neff   “I really changed myself through self-compassion.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Dr. Kristin Neff Website https://self-compassion.org/   “Fierce Self-Compassion” (Kristin Neff Book - Pre-Order) https://www.amazon.com/Fierce-Self-Compassion-Harness-Kindness-Thrive/dp/006299106X   The Adult Chair Membership: $1 offer Use promo code “ANITA” to try your first month for $1 February Theme = “I Love.” https://theadultchair.com/membership/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com    

Narcissistic abuse is, I believe, one of the most toxic experiences out there. While NO kind of abuse is ok, narcissists can be extremely subtle, sneaky and manipulative, making them difficult to spot. Anyone who has been in a relationship with one knows how confusing and damaging it can be.   My guest today, Meredith Miller, is a holistic coach who helps people heal themselves from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. After experiencing abuse from a narcissistic parent for nearly 38 years, she has a deep understanding of a narcissist’s traits, how to rebuild a sense of self and how to turn the experience into an opportunity for healing and growth.   Meredith shares her own story of abuse and healing, and we talk about SO many important topics, from what narcissistic abuse is to the myths around abuse and how to start healing.   Listen to discover: How to identify abuse (and steps to take to get out) Navigating toxic families and people Tools for healing trauma Setting boundaries and reprogramming the subconscious mind How to navigate narcissistic partners as a parent How to go “no contact” (if that’s right for you) There is SO much incredible information packed into this hour! Meredith truly gets it, and I’m so grateful for the gift of her time and expertise in helping the world recognize and transform the effects of abuse.   “You can’t share your hopes and dreams with toxic people.” - Meredith Miller   “It’s so important that we stop, pause, work on our own healing and transform those programs.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The trauma awakens you to this whole new potential...we start to discover the parts of ourselves that weren’t hurt.” - Meredith Miller   “When you give explanations for boundaries, toxic people just see that as points to keep negotiating with you on.” - Meredith Miller   Resources   Meredith Miller Website https://www.innerintegration.com/   Meredith Miller Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/inner-integration-podcast/id1418633395   Meredith Miller YouTube https://www.youtube.com/innerintegration   Meredith Miller Instagram https://www.instagram.com/inner_integration/   Meredith Miller Facebook https://www.facebook.com/InnerIntegration/   The Adult Chair Membership: $1 offer Use promo code “ANITA” to try your first month for $1 February Theme = “I Love.” https://theadultchair.com/membership/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   Episode #179: I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/   Episode #196: Spotting Covert Narcissism https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/196/   Episode #207: The Narcissism and Codependency Connection with Ross Rosenberg https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/207-the-narcissism-and-codependency-connection-with-ross-rosenberg/   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously “TAC Gatherings”)   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Decisions, decisions. We are all faced with dozens of choices every day — some that we make without a second thought and others that can leave us wrestling with all our options or get us completely stuck.   When we are in the Adolescent Chair (the seat of the ego), decisions can feel intimidating or impossible, not only because we’re worried about making the “right” choice, but also because it comes with the other traps of the ego: ruminating thoughts, negative self-talk and stuck parts. Getting into the Adult Chair and bringing in consciousness completely transforms the way we approach and make decisions!   In this episode, I walk you through the reasons you might get stuck making a decision, hands-on tools for easier decision making (I love a good pros and cons list) and tools you can use to find blocked parts and get more confident in whatever decision you choose.   Listen to discover: Reasons why you might struggle with decision making The downward spiral of self-judgment that can keep us from making decisions Practical steps to get unstuck and make conscious decisions A parts work process to work with blocked parts Choice is a gift, and with these steps, you will find that you can enjoy easy decision making and make the most of the many beautiful opportunities you are offered in life! “This is why we have such a difficult time making decisions: the ego is unconsciously whispering to us ‘Don’t do that. That’s not safe.’” - Michelle Chalfant   “The ego can run wild if we’re unconscious.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If you can feel at least 80% [ready to make a decision], it’s ok to have a little bit of fear.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you bring consciousness into your reality when it comes to decision making, your life will change and you will find that decision making becomes easier than you imagined.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   The Adult Chair Membership Use promo code “ANITA” to try your first month for $1 https://theadultchair.com/membership/   TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/     More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Each week on this show, I aim to bring you ideas, expertise and tools to make psychology simple and to introduce you to new healing possibilities. But my goal has never been just to share knowledge. My goal is transformation...to make it easy for you to do your work and become who you were meant to be using this model!   I love bringing you stories of others who have been able to take what they’ve learned here and put it into practice to see REAL change in their lives. As others model the model for us, we see how easy it is to use, get ideas for how to apply it and are motivated to keep doing the work because we see how it truly can transform!   When I heard Anita share her story in The Adult Chair Membership group, I knew this was one I had to share with you. Anita grew up in a dysfunctional family and has been working to heal her internal programming using The Adult Chair over the last year. The holidays in particular are difficult for Anita because her family didn’t celebrate Christmas, even though she always wanted to as a child. She felt a lot of loss, shame and disappointment around the end of the year.   But this year, she completely transformed her holiday experience by working with her inner child and creating a magical Christmas for her and her husband. In doing so, she was also able to work through some triggers and view her relationship with her parents in a healthier way. I’m truly blown away by the work she has done, and I know you will be so inspired by her story.   Listen to discover: Exactly how Anita used The Adult Chair to transform a negative experience How to work with the inner child to reclaim joy How to stayed grounded and in fact and truth in conversations with family Anita’s “gratitude, guidance and grace” daily practice “We get programmed with what our ‘norm’ is, and until we bring consciousness and awareness, we can’t change it.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Because I’ve been working so intently with The Adult Chair model this year, that’s why I think this holiday experience was totally different.” - Anita   “When you can bust your stories, or the stories that happen in the Adolescent Chair from our ego, we stay in the present moment, it takes you out of the trigger and it’s over.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Gratitude brings you to presence.” - Anita       Resources   The Adult Chair Membership Use promo code ‘Anita’ to try your first month for $1 https://theadultchair.com/membership/   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   **** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

To start 2021, we are talking all about simple, hands-on tools and practices that you can incorporate into your life to help you get into your Adult Chair — now and all year long. Today, we’re talking about one of my favorites: Chinese medicine.   Chinese medicine is a beautiful, holistic view of healthcare that helps us find balance on the emotional, physical and spiritual level. It incorporates acupuncture, herbology, bodywork, movement and diet along with meditation and other grounding practices to bring health to your entire self.   At the root of all Chinese medicine practices is the idea that we are interconnected beings and true wellness comes from treating the whole person and not just symptoms. I love this approach!   In this episode, I talk with Brodie Welch, an acupuncturist and expert in Chinese medicine. We talk about presence, consciousness and processing emotions along with physical tools such as Qi gong and herbs. You might be surprised by the way these overlap with many of the ideas in The Adult Chair!   Listen to discover: How Chinese medicine helps the body create health by finding balance How to find patterns and treat them holistically Why it’s important to look for connections between how you’re feeling and where those feelings manifest in the body What Qi gong is and its benefits Simple self-care actions that you can take each day to live more in balance Brodie also walks us through a simple Qi gong exercise on the podcast that will help you get into balance in the moment (and maybe try a new practice you haven’t tried before!). “It’s a way of looking at the world and the body as an ecosystem...Chinese medicine sees the body as this interconnected system of different kinds of energy.” - Brodie Welch   “No state of our physicality doesn’t have an emotion that goes with it.” - Brodie Welch   “It’s not about treating a condition. It’s about treating a person.” - Brodie Welch   “You don’t have to make this giant leap into someone that you’re not...If we can shift a tiny bit today and then the next day, we’re going to find a great change.” - Michelle Chalfant     Resources   Brodie Welch Website https://brodiewelch.com/   Free Qi Gong Resource https://brodiewelch.com/calm/   Brodie Welch Podcast https://brodiewelch.com/podcast/   TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Every day, our minds are taking in thousands of sights and sounds that can either bring us stress or calm….sometimes without us even knowing it! But what if we could intentionally use tools like sound and music to bring relaxation, presence and calm into our lives?   In this episode, I’m chatting with the fascinating Cheryl B. Engelhardt, a New York-based composer who creates beautiful music designed to boost our brain state and promote healing in our lives. After battling panic attacks and transforming her own anxiety using tools like meditation and a gratitude practice, Cheryl combined her science and music backgrounds to compose arrangements that help us process our emotions, get into the flow state and find more balance in our lives.   Cheryl uses her awareness of biological factors like resting heart rate and different types of brain waves along with her own success with affirmations and mindfulness to create intricately designed tracks that affect the listener at the emotional level.   Listen to discover: Cheryl's amazing story of overcoming anxiety and pouring what she learned into her musical career How music can help you get in the flow and reduce distraction The science behind how music affects your brain state, mood and more The connection between music and emotions   I love the way Cheryl has crafted each song on her new album “Luminary” to focus on releasing or attracting different things like confidence, abundance and love. And I’m telling you...this music puts you in such a focused and present state that you can feel right away! Music, like energy, is frequency and vibration, so it only makes sense that music has the power to impact us at a deep level. What a gift to have a tool that all of us can access and that allows us to balance our brains and heal anxiety just by listening! "Two months into starting a daily meditation practice, I had my last panic attack." - Cheryl B. Engelhardt "Gratitude flips that and gratitude starts to have you say ‘What’s good here?’" - Michelle Chalfant   "The music is matching the energy of the emotion and then it's pulling you up." - Michelle Chalfant     Resources  “Luminary” Album https://www.iamaluminary.com/   Cheryl B. Engelhardt Instagram https://www.instagram.com/cbemusic/   Cheryl Engelhardt Facebook https://www.facebook.com/cbemusic/     More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   TAC Gatherings  https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/     Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Unfortunately, sometimes those mistakes hurt people we love and can even create distance or damage in our most important relationships.   When a relationship is suffering, there’s nothing we want more than to heal and restore it, but many of us don’t know where to begin. We might have our own feelings of guilt and shame to overcome or believe the other person never wants to see or talk to us again.   But as long as we are alive, there is hope of change! Relationships can and do heal all the time, and you have the power to repair the damage done and move forward in an even stronger relationship than before.   In this episode, I’m giving you eight simple steps for healing and transforming the relationships in your life. In it, I give the example of one of my clients who was working to repair her relationship with her kids, but the advice here applies to EVERY relationship...spouse, friend, family, coworker, you name it!   Listen to discover: Eight steps to healing a broken relationship How to start the process of repairing the relationship if there’s been a disconnect What a true apology looks like How to change the relationship through actions instead of words How to forgive yourself — the most important step no matter what happens in the relationship If you’re living on this planet, chances are you’ve hurt someone and want to know how to make it right. Tune in to discover a practical step-by-step guide to begin the process of healing...for yourself and others! “If someone is willing to repair a relationship and put the time and effort into repairing the relationship, I always have hope.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Forgiveness allows us to get unstuck and to move on for ourselves. It’s freedom!” - Michelle Chalfant   “There is great power in accepting what is...if you are not accepting where things are, you are in resistance of truth.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you stay with just today in the present, this is where all things can change...including, and most importantly, your perception of yourself.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   The Adult Chair Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings   The Self Series  theadultchair.com/self   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

“Help! I think I’ve ruined my kids’ lives!”   I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this from clients, listeners and even my own inner critic. No one gets a trial run at parenting, which leads to a lot of self-doubt among parents. We’re all learning as we go, and it’s easy to wonder if we’re doing it right or if we should just go ahead and start a therapy fund for our kids to work through the issues we created.   Well, this episode is here to help you put your fears to rest and help you become the healthiest (NOT perfect) parent you can be. I’m breaking down my seven tips for healthy parenting from your Adult Chair (hint: they’re more about you than your kids) and hopefully providing a little reassurance that you’re normal and no, you haven’t ruined your kids lives (wait until you hear the not-so-proud parenting moments I share!).   Listen to discover: What a parent’s job actually is Seven steps to become a healthy parent Why there’s no such thing as perfect Finding compassion for yourself and your kids How to handle it when your kids trigger you Setting boundaries and how to respond when your child makes a mistake Whether you feel like you’ve screwed up or you’re just starting out and trying to get it right, I promise that it’s never too late. When YOU become healthy and live in your Adult Chair, your kids will see it modeled and become healthy too. Check out this episode to get simple, practical tips you can put into action to change the way you parent today.   “Humans learn from experience far more than they learn from words.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Our job as parents or caregivers of these beautiful little beings is to be guard rails for them...kids are supposed to make mistakes while in the loving protection of your home.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You can’t change something without owning where you are and accepting it.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Boundaries help our kids feel safe.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Don’t keep your kid on a one-way expressway. Let them be who they came here to become.” - Michelle Chalfant     Resources  The Adult Chair Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings   The Adult Chair Membership (December = “I Forgive” Month) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   Dr. Shefali (Conscious Parenting) https://drshefali.com/   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS:   If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.   He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Who is ready to get rid of the anxiety of 2020 and move into a more empowered 2021? I know I am! Anxiety is something all of us have felt during this crazy and difficult year. Maybe for you it’s a familiar feeling that has been turned up to full blast or maybe you’re finding yourself battling with anxiety for the first time in your life. It can feel consuming and hard to break out of.   But you have more power than you realize...power to transform your anxiety and move forward into a more healthy, peaceful and balanced life no matter what is going on around you. In The Adult Chair, we define anxiety as “the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions.” Thoughts create emotions, emotions get pent up inside the body and then these (often unconscious) emotions rattle the nervous system. We have to get to the root of this for anxiety to change!   In this episode, I’m giving you two simple steps and five tools to do just that. These will show you how to work through your emotions, calm anxiety and walk into a more empowered future.   Listen to discover: What really causes anxiety The two quick and easy steps you can take to begin calming your anxiety now Five free tools you can use at home to eliminate anxiety How to feel empowered during and after anxiety   During the episode, I walk you through a mindfulness exercise so you can actually begin calming your nervous system and lowering your anxiety WHILE you listen! That resource is at minute mark 10:28-13:34 so you can go back and find it anytime you need it.   I hope this episode gives you straightforward action steps that you can take to get rid of anxiety and live with more freedom and a sense of power in your life!   “Becoming really, truly aware of what anxiety is is step #1 to really getting into your power.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The ego says, ‘Do more and you’ll feel better.’ But it doesn’t work. It’s an illusion.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When we sit and just think and think and think about what’s going with us, it’s a treadmill. It doesn’t solve anything.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Taking action is what brings our power in.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   14 Days of FREE Journaling Prompts https://theadultchair.com/14days   The Adult Chair Membership (December = “I Forgive” Month) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

What if you had far more say over your life than you realized? What if you could create the reality you want...just by changing your perspective?   As we learn more about energy and consciousness, one thing is becoming clear: our biggest limitations are the ones we put on ourselves, and with awareness, so many possibilities open up to us!   In this episode, I interview the fascinating Dr. Dain Heer about expanding consciousness and creating our reality. A practitioner of a method called Access Consciousness, Dr. Dain shares his incredible story of going from feeling unhappy and wanting to die to experiencing unbelievable peace in his life using the tools and techniques of the Access Consciousness model.   Listen to discover: How to change the default mode network of the brain How to shift the electromagnetic signals of negativity and judgment (and how this changes everything!) How to clear emotions and beliefs you picked up from others Simple tools and techniques to remove limitations How to view this season in the world as a chance to become better   This episode ends with Dr. Dain leading us through an Access Consciousness process and let me tell you, it was powerful! I hope this episode helps open your mind and shift your perspective to see the possibilities all around — and most importantly, within — you.   “Not only do I have a level of peace that’s growing in my life, but when it wants to go away, I’ve got a way of changing it.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “98% of your thoughts, feelings and emotions are things you’re picking up from other people.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “Your point of view creates your reality.” - Dr. Dain Heer   “Everything is energy. We’ve got to pay attention to our thoughts and our feelings and our emotions and our beliefs.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   Dr. Dain Heer Website https://drdainheer.com/   Access Consciousness Website https://www.accessconsciousness.com/   The Clearing Statement Website http://theclearingstatement.com/   The Adult Chair Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   ***   EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

It can be really tough to talk about guilt. No one wants to focus on a mistake they’ve made, and it can be especially hard to own and admit when we’ve done something wrong if we’re wracked with shame and beating up on ourselves.   But guilt can be a very healthy emotion when it comes from The Adult Chair — when it’s a path to healing rather than self-shaming. In this episode, I walk through the ways guilt serves us and how it can be a tool to let us know when we need to repair relationships. I’m also breaking down how you can tell when guilt is irrational or unnecessary and how to release guilt once you’ve made amends.   Listen to discover: The difference between shame and guilt When guilt is healthy and when it is unhealthy Steps for working through guilt How to (truly) apologize and repair a relationship How to stop ruminating on guilt and move forward Recognizing false guilt   I see so many people who struggle with unhealthy guilt, whether they feel guilty for something they didn’t do or can’t forgive themselves when they’ve done something wrong...especially during the holidays and this pandemic. Guilt should never be all-consuming like this...and it doesn’t have to be when you:   Own it Apologize Take action and Let it go from your healthy Adult Chair   "There's a big difference between guilt and shame. People often fall into shame and label it as guilt." - Michelle Chalfant   "It's a choice to continue to beat up on self." - Michelle Chalfant   "It's ok if other people are upset and disappointed if you're making a choice to protect yourself and your family." - Michelle Chalfant   Resources StoryWorth Storyworth.com/adult $10 off your first purchase   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

I believe you can find peace no matter where you are in life, and I believe that because I have lived it! I spent the first part of my life living with anxiety and depression every day, and now I wake up most days in a state of peace...one that I would have never thought possible during my days of anxiety.   And while there isn’t a magic pill to find peace, the good news is that we have a choice and can take small steps every day to live in greater peace. Today, I want to share my step-by-step guide to cultivating peace with you — the exact practices I use to stay in peace in my life. These steps are practical, quick and easy to practice, but they make ALL the difference.   Listen to discover: How the ego responds to emotions (and why that creates problems for us!) How our stories and assumptions get us out of balance How to honor and truly feel your emotions Why you are the only one who can take care of you The five steps you can do today to find greater peace   Here are the five steps I share in the episode. Listen to find out exactly how to practice these, starting today!   Slow down. Put your feet on the floor and ground. Breathe (slowly). Check in with yourself (body and emotions). Journal to process what you are feeling.   Happiness is fleeting, but peace is a state of being that we can choose and sustain. I hope these five steps give you the tools you need to stay in peace and balance in any season of life.   “One of the things that we do when we have an emotion that’s rising up inside of us is we speed up. Because what’s happening is the ego is trying to solve the “problem,” which is the emotion that we’re having.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When we sit in our healthy Adult Chair, we know emotions are not a bad thing. They are a beautiful gift.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Care/Of Takecareof.com Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Food is such a beautiful part of life. It’s a way of connecting with others and bringing enjoyment to your life. Unfortunately, we live in a world that makes it difficult to have a healthy relationship with food. We are met with the pressure to look a certain way, a lack of education about how to truly nourish our bodies and mixed messages that encourage both excess and deprivation — neither of which are healthy!   The holidays take this struggle with food and body image to the next level. We might miss out on a celebration or connection with our family because we’re filled with guilt and fear around food or we might lose control and later regret the way we lost sight of our goals for ourselves. It’s a frustrating cycle that takes all the fun out of this beautiful season!   So, in preparation for this season of feasting and celebration, I’m bringing back the lovely Jessi Jean, who is an eating psychology coach and such a grounding voice on how to have a healthy relationship with food. In this episode, Jessi talks about what a healthy relationship with food looks like, how to check in to make sure you have a balanced relationship with food and strategies for keeping that balance throughout the holidays (good news: pie is still on the menu!).   Listen to discover: The importance of your mindset going into a holiday food scene and how to prep your mind Tangible strategies for feeling in control of your eating (while still celebrating!) Her “future pacing” hack for eating intentionally at the holidays How to respond to a "food pusher" and how to pull yourself out of a binge Questions to ask to check in on your relationship with food   As Jessi says in this episode, it’s not what you do with food that’s the problem; it’s how you feel about it. The important thing is to stay in touch with what’s important to you, tune into all your senses and truly enjoy the experience of the holidays! "We can't control what our loved ones are going to say. We can't control what they are going to do. But we can control our reaction and our response." - Jessi Jean "Practice being unapologetic in your decisions with food." - Jessi Jean "You teach people how to respect you by the way that you respect yourself." - Jessi Jean "When you take something away, there's the thinking that there's a lack and that triggers something inside us." - Michelle Chalfant "Anything we do that is guilt and shame and fear-based...we take a good thing and make it toxic." - Jessi Jean   Resources   Episode #153: Binge Eating with Jessi Jean https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/153-binge-eating-with-jessi-jean/   Jessi Jean Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jessijeannn   Jessi Jean The Dear Body Podcast https://risewithmeco.com/podcast/   Jessi Jean Food Freedom Program https://risewithmeco.com/   30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/   More Adult Chair   The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

The holidays are almost upon us...and if holidays didn’t already come with stressful situations, now we get to navigate the holidays in 2020! A contentious election with families split across political lines, delicately balancing celebrations with COVID-19 concerns and the general stress of this year have the potential to add chaos to an already busy time of year. But with The Adult Chair, you have the tools you need to stay calm, centered and balanced even in the middle of the holidays. No one can steal your joy or your power unless you let them, so in this episode, I’m giving you three essential steps to staying in your Adult Chair...all the way from the time the Thanksgiving turkey is carved until the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s.   Listen to discover: 3 steps to staying healthy during the holiday season How to refuel and recharge even on busy days The power of acceptance in dealing with difficult people or situations The difference between acceptance and agreement The importance of boundaries   The key to having a healthy holiday season is to not lose yourself among the demands of others. This is why most of us struggle at the holidays — there is so much competing for our attention (plus, old, unhealthy patterns that we get pulled back into) that we lose connection with ourselves and we feel stressed, frazzled and lost. So, this year, if you only remember one thing, focus on staying connected to yourself. Remember who you are, and you can have a really lovely holiday season. "The moment that we lose our emotional balance and slip into story and assumption, we have lost our joy and our power and our happiness." - Michelle Chalfant "Have hope that [someone] might change some day, but drop your expectation of them to change."  - Michelle Chalfant "The moment we can accept someone fully, the triggering becomes far less." - Michelle Chalfant   Resources 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Membership (November Theme: Boundaries) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

While our go-to image of mental health might be a couch in a therapist’s office, the world is slowly changing (and I’m SO glad it is!). Don’t get me wrong...I’m not anti-therapy (I’m a therapist myself), but I think it’s only part of the equation. I believe we need more. I believe true healing must be holistic, looking at our experiences from every angle and using methods that heal body, mind and spirit.  Dr. Nicole LePera is a kindred spirit when it comes to holistic healing, the creator behind one of my favorite Instagram accounts @the.holistic.psychologist and a self-healing guru that I am thrilled to finally bring on the show! Drawing from psychology, spirituality, the mind/body connection and more, Dr. LePera believes mental wellness is for everyone and we all have the power to heal ourselves with the right tools (can I get an amen?). In this episode, Dr. LePera shares her own story of transformation, her philosophy of self-healing and tools you can use to regulate your nervous system, figure out who you are and what you need and change limiting patterns in your life by turning in and tuning in. Listen to discover: The power of consciousness and being in the present moment The nervous system’s role in healing The importance of breathwork The power of journaling to create consciousness and set intentions How to update and rewire programming Interdependence and how to be healthy in relationships Dr. LePera believes healing begins by going inside and connecting to self, and I couldn’t agree more (it’s ALL about awareness)! If you’re on a journey of transformation, I hope this episode encourages you to look at your healing through a holistic lens and reminds you that you have the power (and tools) you need right where you are. "We need to understand the whole being in an integrative way, and I believe we need to expand the tools we're practicing outside of therapy as well." - Nicole LePera "You can be awake but still not be fully in the body and conscious about what you're doing." - Michelle Chalfant "There isn't one universal way to heal." - Nicole LePera "My goal is to empower within so we can cope with the ever-changing without." - Nicole LePera   "With conscious effort, every single day, a little bit of something...we do find that people can change. We REALLY can change." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Dr. Nicole LePera Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/  Dr. Nicole LePera Website https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/  30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/   More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

Emotions are my love language, and I’m all about learning to really feel our emotions...every single one of them. But some emotions are easier for us to feel than others, and there’s one that I find most people struggle with: anger.  Anger often scares us because it’s intense, and when it’s unmanaged, it can lead people to do some pretty hurtful things. But anger isn’t a bad thing (in fact we need it), and I think it’s time we start talking about it a whole lot more.  Our guest today, Dr. Christian Conte, is one of the world’s leading experts on anger and emotional management. Dr. Conte has worked with top athletes, MMA fighters, people in maximum security prisons and some of the toughest people on the planet to help them integrate anger and other uncomfortable emotions in their lives, and he is full of wisdom to help us do the same thing.  Not only do we explore how to manage our emotions in this episode, but we also talk about Dr. Conte’s “Yield Theory,” a powerful tool to cultivate more empathy for others, and ways we can use this empathy to create healthier relationships with anyone in our life.   Listen to discover: How to see emotions as a signal of what we need in life and how to process them in healthy ways The two emotional systems we all have  The power of extreme empathy and learning to see the world through other people’s minds How to give each other presence vs. going into “fix it” mode The importance of non-attachment in shifting our perspectives and understanding our emotions Letting go of past hurt and anger and healing relationships  Anger is like fire. It can be destructive if not contained, but it can also be the fuel that powers us to recognize what we need and move forward in life. I hope this episode will help you get more comfortable with anger and other intense emotions, learn how to integrate them in a healthy way and become a more whole person as a result!  “Emotions come and go. Actions cannot be undone.” - Dr. Christian Conte   “Your brain is being impacted by everything you encounter.” - Dr. Christian Conte   “The reason people get stuck in emotion is we get stuck in the story about the emotion.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We need anger to fuel us and to make us move forward in life.” - Michelle Chalfant    Resources Dr. Christian Conte YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC47w9g7lESxzqefb5vWkN1Q Dr. Christian Conte Website http://www.drchristianconte.com/  Dr. Christian Conte Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Christian-Conte-905015942910441/timeline/ Dr. Christian Conte Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drchristianconte  Dr. Christian Conte Twitter https://twitter.com/Dr_Conte  Walking Through Anger - Dr. Christian Conte book https://www.amazon.com/Walking-Through-Anger-Confronting-Emotionally/dp/1683642589  The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/  30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/    More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

“Codependency.” You finally have a word to describe why you’ve been feeling so overwhelmed and drained your whole life. And while I’m not the biggest fan of labels, sometimes having a term to describe your experience can be the thing that makes all the pieces fall into place and the light bulb go off. But having a “label” is only the first step. That’s why one of the biggest questions I get asked, especially around codependency, is “So, what do I do about it?” Codependency is something I understand extremely well, because it was a constant companion for the first half of my life. I know how painful it can be and the feelings of regret that can arise when you discover you’re codependent. But I also know codependency doesn’t have to be the end of the story. You CAN change this pattern in your life, and in this episode, I’m telling you exactly how to do that. Listen to discover: What codependency is  Signs of codependency  What do next to start getting healthy  5 practical steps to transform codependency You didn’t choose codependency, but starting today, you can choose to end it! Instead of feeling regret for time lost, look at today as the first day of the rest of your life. I’m here to help you take that next step into health and freedom!  “If you’re human, you have things to work on. Healthy people work on their stuff.” - Michelle Chalfant “Nobody throws us in the victim chair. We choose it.” - Michelle Chalfant “You have to take care of you and your life. It’s no one else’s job.” - Michelle Chalfant “There’s a fine line between being really caring and codependent, and when you’re codependent, you can't see that line.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ Green Chef www.greenchef.com/adult80 $80 off your first box + free shipping   More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com    

We all know a bad relationship can wreak havoc on our lives, from our self-esteem to our goals and dreams. But most of us don’t know that the effects of a bad relationship can linger long after the breakup. Yes, relationship PTSD is a real thing! PTSD (or post-traumatic stress disorder) is not just reserved for the traumas of war or the “big” obvious traumas. Anyone can suffer from PTSD, and if you have lived in a toxic or abusive relationship for any amount of time, you might find yourself suffering from fear, stress or hypervigilance in relationships even after you’ve “moved on.”   On today’s show, I’m bringing back my friend, Tracy, who has shared in past episodes about her marriage with a narcissist, the process of leaving that relationship and beginning to date again. As she began exploring new relationships, she caught herself unconsciously bracing for the worst or expecting new partners to act like her ex. She had no idea she had PTSD until she and I talked about what was going on — and today, she is bravely and vulnerably sharing her experience to help shed light on this important topic. Listen to discover: The difference between “little t” trauma and “big T” trauma and why both can create PTSD What PTSD is The signs of relationship PTSD The role of the body in healing PTSD Practical tools and tips to overcome PTSD Not only does Tracy help us understand what relationship PTSD is and how it can show up in our lives, but she also shares her journey of healing and what she has used to make AMAZING and fast progress in overcoming PTSD. This episode is packed with tools from The Adult Chair that will help you heal stored trauma and move forward into a brighter and happier relationship future.   “When you have fear about a past event that has already happened, that’s the biggest sign to me.” - Tracy “With trauma we’re stuck in the past, and the body doesn’t understand that we’ve moved forward in time.” - Michelle Chalfant “Instead of being who we really are, we become that person who walks on eggshells to not upset them and we lose ourselves.” - Michelle Chalfant   “I had to be ok with myself outside of that relationship.” - Tracy “The right person will wait for you.” - Michelle   Resources Episode #179: I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/ Episode #199: Dating from The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/199/ I’m Ok Course https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/CnJRzrVL/checkout 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

It’s hard to find words for the times we are living in today. Interesting, scary, stressful, angry, strange...it feels like one minute we can have it together and the next be hijacked by anxiety. There is so much coming at us, so much to navigate and so much to sort through as we try to figure out what is true and what is not. It’s A LOT for any body and brain. Though our minds are easily distracted and swayed, the good news is that we CAN live in peace and balance even in uncertain times...and we all have a choice in the matter. In this episode, I chat with Shann Vander Leek, host of the Anxiety Slayer podcast and an expert on how to calm anxiety no matter what is going on. She explains why we’re all feeling so anxious right now and gives us hands-on steps to stop anxiety in its tracks...everything from music to getting outside to a simple gratitude practice.   Listen to discover: Practical ways to combat anxiety even in times of uncertainty How to get grounded quickly How to move energy in the body The power of “Joy Spotting” Powerful tools like high vibe music, supplements and small daily practices that lead to big changes Whether you’re feeling anxious from the collective events of the world or walking through a tough situation in your personal life, these practices are quick, easy and free and here to help you get back to peace...from within. “It’s really best to take things day by day and hour by hour to stay as calm as you can during these uncertain times.” - Shann Vander Leek   “The faster the mind goes, the more out our body we are and the more anxious we are.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You cannot be joyful if you’re in judgment.” - Shann Vander Leek   "Every single thing to help us with anxiety is an internal job. It's about a choice that we have to make." - Michelle Chalfant     Resources Anxiety Slayer https://www.anxietyslayer.com/ EFT Resource https://www.anxietyslayer.com/eft Joy Spotting Gift https://transformationgoddess.com/joy-spotting-gift/ Episode #142: All Things Anxiety with Shann Vander Leek https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/142-all-things-anxiety-with-shann-vander-leek/ Coffee Jazz YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNQ9q1dUxUU Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer (book) https://www.amazon.com/Braiding-Sweetgrass-Indigenous-Scientific-Knowledge/dp/1571313567 The Magnesium Miracle by Carolyn Dean (book) https://www.amazon.com/Magnesium-Miracle-Revised-Updated/dp/034549458X The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/    More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

From the outside — and to herself — Tonya looked like she had it all together...until one day, all the “spinning plates” fell and she collapsed. That moment led Tonya to a therapist’s office where she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety that had been simmering under the surface unnoticed for years. She found herself battling suicidal thoughts with stress manifesting in her body in many different ways. Determined to not let it be the end of her story, Tonya began searching for a quick way to transform her depression on her own. She prayed for a “knife” that could quickly cut through her depression and was led to The Adult Chair podcast, which allowed her to completely transform in a matter of months. In this episode, Tonya shares her inspirational story of how she used the tools in The Adult Chair to completely shift her outlook on life and get healthy FAST (and for free!).   Listen to discover: How Tonya cut through depression in less than a year The tools that were most effective in working through depression The importance of self-talk and shifting skewed thought patterns Her journey of knowing who she is and learning to love herself Today, Tonya is happy, healthy and on her way to becoming an Adult Chair Certified Coach. I’m so excited to see the way she helps others transform through her own experience of walking through and transforming depression and anxiety.   “The Adult Chair was my knife to cut through layers and layers of trauma.” - Tonya   “One of the biggest things is to be a story buster. Something happens and we interpret it negatively, and that leads to anxiety.” - Michelle Chalfant “Accepting it doesn’t mean you like it or you’re never wanting change. Acceptance releases us from pushing against.” - Michelle Chalfant  “The same walls we use to protect our image are the same ones that imprison us in our pain.” - Tonya   Resources   The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/    More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Do you ever catch yourself setting a goal…and then doing the exact opposite? Maybe it’s deciding to get in shape…and then reaching for the chocolate cake. Maybe it’s getting into a healthy relationship…and then cheating on your partner. We can be our own worst enemy sometimes, sabotaging ourselves and our goals. But like anything else, self-sabotage is just a part of us… and it’s actually an easy one to transform!    In this episode, I’m breaking down how to get into your Adult Chair and find your self-sabotaging parts. I share a client example from one of my sessions and walk you through a process to help you find your own self-sabotaging parts so you can end it for good!!   Listen to discover: What self-sabotage is Why we might self-sabotage How to look at self-sabotage through the lens of each Chair How to use parts work to stop self-sabotage (using a client example) I really believe you can live the life you dream of when you find and shift the subconscious parts that keep you from feeling whole and complete. That’s the power of this work...for self-sabotage or any other part!  “The Adult decisions are solid, grounded, they are coming from this present place and they are clear.” - Michelle Chalfant   “What we want to do, regardless of what is going on in your life, is we want to get in touch with the part that is disturbing or disrupting our goal.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The goal is to bring your Adult Chair more present in your life. You’re grounding more of those parts when you can merge them back into your Adult self.”  - Michelle Chalfant   “You really can live the life you want instead of a life run by the old subconscious programs in your Adolescent Chair. Reach for the connection to these parts, and you can transform self-sabotage and anything else that’s in the way of you feeling whole and complete.”  - Michelle Chalfant   Resources   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/    The Adult Chair Closed Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   Care/Of http://www.takecareof.com Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order  More Adult Chair    The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com     The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/   The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Buckle your seat belts, because our guest today is today is about to take you on a trip deep into the human mind — and help you understand how to naturally treat everything from depression to ADHD. I first heard about Dr. David Rabin when my husband gave me an Apollo Neuro, a wearable sensory device that Dr. Rabin invented to naturally calm the nervous system. After digging more into his work, I knew I had to invite Dr. Rabin on the show — and wow, he might be the most genius person I’ve ever talked to! Dr. David Rabin is a neuroscientist and psychiatrist who specializes in treating anxiety, depression, stress, PTSD and trauma using traditional and alternative methods like the Apollo Neuro and therapeutic psychedelics, which are showing breakthrough results in clinical trials around the country.  With a deep understanding of how the mind works, Dr. Rabin breaks down ideas like consciousness, the subconscious mind, trauma and the stress response in an easy-to-understand way. He helps us understand WHY our minds function like they do and gives us simple techniques for change — both medicinal and non-medicinal.    Listen to discover: Breakthrough medicines for depression, anxiety and more that are currently going through clinical trials  Common misconceptions around psychedelic medicines What “default mode” is and how to change your neural pathways (even without psychedelics) The fastest non-psychedelic way to rewire the brain The impact of chronic stress on the body (and how stress recovery works) The revolutionary Apollo Neuro sensory device changing the game for stress, ADHD and more   Science today is SO exciting to me. These breakthrough, natural treatments are rooted in a deep understanding of neuroscience and human consciousness and have so much potential for healing. Dr. Rabin is a WEALTH of knowledge, and I hope you enjoy learning from him as much as I did!   “The real meaning of the term [psychedelic] is ‘mind manifesting.’” - Dr. David Rabin   “It makes all of that content that’s stored beneath our awareness all of the sudden accessible. We can start to look at that content in an unbiased, non-judgmental way and recognize that this is all part of us that we’re ignoring or leaving behind in the background.” - Dr. David Rabin   “The process of self-healing is to accept and love and be grateful for all the parts of ourselves, even and especially the parts that we’ve been told are not acceptable or not welcome.” - Dr. David Rabin   “We have the ability to make ourselves sick by changing the way we describe ourselves and the way we think about ourselves and the way we think about our lives. Similarly, we have an equal ability to make ourselves or help ourselves heal by changing the way we think about ourselves as agents of healing.” - Dr. David Rabin   Resources Apollo Neuro (15% for Adult Chair fans!) https://apolloneuro.com/adultchair Dr. David Rabin Website https://www.drdave.io/ Dr. David Rabin Twitter https://twitter.com/daverabin Dr. David Rabin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drdavidrabin/ Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) https://maps.org/ ProjectCBD https://www.projectcbd.org/ Ketamine Psychotherapy Associates https://ketaminepsychotherapyassociates.com/ The Third Wave https://thethirdwave.co/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/    More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop  https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

In 1974 when Sharon Salzberg discovered meditation, there were no meditation apps, mainstream teachers, corporate retreats or scientific studies backing the practice like we have today. Largely considered a Buddhist practice, meditation was relegated to Eastern thought and spiritual gurus. But for Sharon, who grew up in the hustle and bustle of New York City and went through a number of traumatic experiences as a child, it was a lifesaver — a tool that showed her she could take ownership of her life and transform her own suffering. After studying in India for several years, Sharon became a meditation teacher and one of the first people to bring meditation into the mainstream, demystifying the practice with her secular and modern approach. I have followed her for years, and I am THRILLED to feature her in this episode — one that is so packed full of wisdom from this master teacher. In this episode, Sharon shares what meditation is and what it isn’t and the many wonderful things meditation can cultivate in our lives, including self-compassion, healthy ways to process pain, the ability to fall and get back up again and a profound connection with ourselves and others. She also helps to break down how to get started meditating and why everyone should be doing it.   Listen to discover: The heart of the practice, which might surprise you How meditation is a life exercise and skills training Why there is no failing in meditation The difference between a mindfulness practice and a loving kindness meditation What causes suffering Navigating uncertainty, fear and anger during these challenging times And SOO much more!   Whether you’ve meditated for years or are considering starting, I know you will love the countless nuggets of wisdom in this episode. And if you’re on the fence, I encourage you to take Sharon’s advice and just try it! Don’t give up after 10 minutes or look just at the practice time itself, but instead look at your life and how differently you respond to yourself, your relationships and life’s challenges. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!   “We’re not trying to blank out or drop parts of our experience. We’re cultivating the ability to be with our experience differently. We don’t have to take every thought to heart. We don’t have to follow every thought into action. We don’t have to hold onto an emotion as if it’s the only thing we will ever feel.” - Sharon Salzberg   “It’s the practice of letting go and being able to begin again.” - Sharon Salzberg   “We don’t all share the same degree of pain. But we all share vulnerability.” - Sharon Salzberg   “You’re not supposed to stop your thoughts; you’re supposed to witness.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Sharon Salzberg Website https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/ Sharon Salzberg Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SharonSalzberg/ Sharon Salzberg Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sharonsalzberg/ Real Change (New Book) https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/realchange/ Real Happiness (Sharon Salzberg Book) https://www.amazon.com/Real-Happiness-Meditation-28-Day-Program/dp/0761159258 Faith (Sharon Salzberg Book) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AG0BRCE/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i3 Inner Child Resource (contains 2 free meditations) https://theadultchair.com/innerchild Free Meditations https://theadultchair.com/meditations/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Unfortunately, sometimes those mistakes hurt people we love and can even create distance or damage in our most important relationships. When a relationship is suffering, there’s nothing we want more than to heal and restore it, but many of us don’t know where to begin. We might have our own feelings of guilt and shame to overcome or believe the other person never wants to see or talk to us again. But as long as we are alive, there is hope of change! Relationships can and do heal all the time, and you have the power to repair the damage done and move forward in an even stronger relationship than before. In this episode, I’m giving you eight simple steps for healing and transforming the relationships in your life. In it, I give the example of one of my clients who was working to repair her relationship with her kids, but the advice here applies to EVERY relationship...spouse, friend, family, coworker, you name it!   Listen to discover: Eight steps to healing a broken relationship How to start the process of repairing the relationship if there’s been a disconnect What a true apology looks like How to change the relationship through actions instead of words How to forgive yourself — the most important step no matter what happens in the relationship   If you’re living on this planet, chances are you’ve hurt someone and want to know how to make it right. Tune in to discover a practical step-by-step guide to begin the process of healing...for yourself and others!   “If someone is willing to repair a relationship and put the time and effort into repairing the relationship, I always have hope.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Forgiveness allows us to get unstuck and to move on for ourselves. It’s freedom!” - Michelle Chalfant   “There is great power in accepting what is...if you are not accepting where things are, you are in resistance of truth.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you stay with just today in the present, this is where all things can change...including, and most importantly, your perception of yourself.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources The Self Series https://theadultchair.com/self   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

“Help! I think I’ve ruined my kids’ lives!” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this from clients, listeners and even my own inner critic. No one gets a trial run at parenting, which leads to a lot of self-doubt among parents. We’re all learning as we go, and it’s easy to wonder if we’re doing it right or if we should just go ahead and start a therapy fund for our kids to work through the issues we created. Well, this episode is here to help you put your fears to rest and help you become the healthiest (NOT perfect) parent you can be. I’m breaking down my seven tips for healthy parenting from your Adult Chair (hint: they’re more about you than your kids) and hopefully providing a little reassurance that you’re normal and no, you haven’t ruined your kids lives (wait until you hear the not-so-proud parenting moments I share!).   Listen to discover: What a parent’s job actually is Seven steps to become a healthy parent Why there’s no such thing as perfect Finding compassion for yourself and your kids How to handle it when your kids trigger you Setting boundaries and how to respond when your child makes a mistake Whether you feel like you’ve screwed up or you’re just starting out and trying to get it right, I promise that it’s never too late. When YOU become healthy and live in your Adult Chair, your kids will see it modeled and become healthy too. Check out this episode to get simple, practical tips you can put into action to change the way you parent today.   “Humans learn from experience far more than they learn from words.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Our job as parents or caregivers of these beautiful little beings is to be guard rails for them...kids are supposed to make mistakes while in the loving protection of your home.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You can’t change something without owning where you are and accepting it.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Boundaries help our kids feel safe.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Don’t keep your kid on a one-way expressway. Let them be who they came here to become.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources The Adult Chair Membership (August Theme: Acceptance) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Dr. Shefali (Conscious Parenting) https://drshefali.com/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Before studying the Law of Attraction, Christy “had it all” but still felt really unhappy and unfulfilled. As she began seeking, she discovered meditation and eventually the Law of Attraction, both of which led her to recognize how her inner dialog was creating unhappiness in her life. As she worked to shift her own life, she began to realize the power of her thoughts in creating her reality and that she felt called to share this gift with others. Since then, Christy has become a life coach, teacher and Law of Attraction guru, and I’m thrilled to share her wisdom with you on today’s podcast. In this episode, Christy not only shares the principles behind the Law of Attraction but also how and why it works at an energetic level. She explains the way that common thought patterns or words we use with ourselves are keeping us from getting what we want and how to change those patterns to attract what we are seeking. If you are feeling stuck and not manifesting the life you dream of or if you’re interested in learning more about creation and how to transform your life, this is the episode for you!   Listen to discover: What the law of attraction is and why it works How we work as receivers, containers and senders of energy The ways we send out energy through what we say, think, expect, feel and act Why you might be experiencing blocks in manifestation The role of guilt in our lives and the power of forgiveness Three questions we need to ask to pivot our lives   “I could actually choose my thoughts to be different even though ‘what it is’ is the way it is.” - Christy Whitman   “If you feel resistance of any kind, that’s energy.” - Christy Whitman   “When you say words that are based in lack, anything that starts in lack is going to end in lack. When you’re starting with words that are words of abundance...then that whole creation starts from there.” - Christy Whitman   “Most of us walk around in this very unconscious state with these automatic thoughts just going, going, going. We're not even aware. So, slowing down and becoming aware is so key.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Christy Whitman Website https://www.christywhitman.com/ Christy Whitman Free Resource https://www.watchyourwords.com/ Christy Whitman Facebook https://www.facebook.com/christywhitmaninternational/ Christy Whitman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/christywhitman1 14 Days to Peace and Balance https://theadultchair.com/14days   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

The Adult Chair is a powerful model for healing our wounds and becoming more empowered in our lives...but it has the power to change more than just ourselves. When we have the tools to navigate life’s challenges and respond differently to life, it can change everything around us! In today’s episode, I’m interviewing my friend April, who is sharing how The Adult Chair model helped her walk through one of the most difficult seasons of her life, first transforming her marriage that was in trouble and then almost losing her son in a terrible car accident. Through these uncertain and tragic situations, April found she was able to shift her perspective and not just change her response to life’s challenges but also transform her marriage and family. She shares how the model was easy to understand and applicable enough for her and her husband to use together and the surprising peace and clarity she had when she got the call no parent wants to get. April’s practice of busting stories, clinging to truth and being present through life’s challenges is hope and inspiration for all of us and a real-life example of how The Adult Chair can be used to help us transform whatever life throws our way.   Listen to discover: How The Adult Chair helped April and her husband get the breakthrough they were looking for in their marriage How busting stories and assumptions and connecting with their needs has helped April and her husband cultivate a new connection they didn’t think possible How April stayed grounded and in the moment even in the middle of shock and tragedy Avoiding the “what ifs” and worst-case scenario thoughts of the Adolescent How we can teach our children to live in their Adult Chair by modeling it as parents The power of owning our needs and learning to receive   “It’s not uncommon for us both to make up stories and assumptions in our marriage. It’s very easy to make up stories about each other (like) ‘Oh, he’s too busy; he doesn’t care.’ Or on the other hand, he’s thinking ‘I’m not worthy; she’s not attracted to me.’ When really the truth is, I’m exhausted or he’s exhausted.” - April “Having a true need and being able to share that with another is such a beautiful, deep way to connect.”  - Michelle Chalfant “It’s important that we remember it doesn’t come naturally right away...but I have found that tools over time do develop.” - April “Your brain wasn’t able to go back to the old you, which might have gotten freaked out and panicky, because the neural pathways are very much more now ‘Let me go back to fact and truth.’” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Episode #210: Improving and Deepening the Connection with Your Partner https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/210/ Episode #146: Healthy Relationships https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/146-healthy-relationships/ Episode #148: Healthy Relationships Part 2 https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/148-healthy-relationships-part-2/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Are you ready to shift out of procrastination, perfectionism and people pleasing? I can’t imagine anyone that doesn’t have their hand up! In today’s show, we are diving into The Adult Chair model and looking deeper at our “parts.” Though this episode focuses on some of these common parts that I hear many of my clients talk about, it really is a crash course in what parts work is and how to start working with your parts on your own, even without therapy! Things like procrastination, people pleasing and perfectionism are inner unconscious parts that can run the show until we bring them into awareness to transform. Today I am going to show you how to use The Adult Chair model to find and transform your inner parts that are driving you to do things or act in ways that are limiting you.   Listen to discover: What parts work is How to identify the dominant parts you want to shift A step-by-step process for finding these parts, dialoguing with them and transforming them A real-life example from a client so you can see this process in action   This is full of practical tools and examples that will empower you to work with any part that is causing problems and transform it using the power of your Adult. As always, I have included easy-to-use steps for you to work with this concept today and begin your transformation right away. Get ready for shifts with today’s episode!   “If you want to make changes in your outer world, you have to make changes in your inner world.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When people say, “I am overwhelmed,” “I am a perfectionist,” or “I am a procrastinator,” that’s not true...it’s not who you are.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Awareness is key to our transformation. If we don't know that we’re doing something or showing up in a certain way, how the heck are we supposed to change it?” - Michelle Chalfant   “Do not guess and think you know why or what these parts are going to say or why they’re feeling what they’re feeling. Go inside of you and ask that part these very pointed questions.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Why do people cringe at the suggestion of setting a boundary? So many people respond with, “I don’t like confrontation” when I suggest a boundary. Setting boundaries is tough to do if we were not modeled healthy boundaries growing up. Even if we came from a pretty healthy family, few people grew up with healthy boundary modeling. In today’s show, I talk about what boundaries are, how to set them, examples of healthy versus unhealthy boundaries and the four keys to setting healthy boundaries.   Listen to discover: The difference between a boundary and a confrontation Examples of healthy and unhealthy boundaries Four steps to setting boundaries What to do when boundaries backfire What boundaries are not and what to do if you are in a toxic relationship   Boundaries are rooted in our sense of self and come from our internal guidance system. They are a necessary part of our lives and a key to healthy relationships and learning how to speak up for what we want. This show is filled with tools and tips to help you to start better taking care of yourself, learning how to set a simple request and teaching other people how to treat you.   “When I hear people say ‘It’s not important that I speak up for myself,’ or ‘I don’t need to set a boundary,’ I hear ‘I’m not that important.’” - Michelle Chalfant   “A boundary is letting another person know what is ok with you and what is not ok with you.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If you don’t know who you are, what in the world are you defending or setting a boundary against?” - Michelle Chalfant “Get crystal clear with your wants, your needs and your desires and speak them.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Episode #212: Boundaries Crash Course https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/212/ Episode #193: Boundaries in Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/193/ Episode #184: Boundaries, Empowerment and Finding Truth https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/184/ Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/ Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship? https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/ Episode #160: Boundaries and Defenses https://theadultchair.com/podcast/160 Episode #80: How Do I Feel My Emotions? https://theadultchair.com/podcast/80 Episode #26: Boundaries vs. Confrontation https://theadultchair.com/podcast/26  Self Series theadultchair.com/self Care/Of https://takecareof.com/ Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

By nature, all of us have the Child, Adolescent and Adult parts of ourselves...but these parts can look very different depending on our personality and life experience. Through the lens of the Enneagram, we can understand more about our personality and the ways we show up in stress and in health, and in this episode, Enneagram coach Ramona Reid breaks down how the wounds we received as a child affect our personality later in life. Our Enneagram type is often influenced by the message we did not hear as a child, and we form a personality or mask to make up for that wound. This might look like trying to be good and perfect, getting big and strong or trying to keep the peace with everyone around us, but it’s always an ego response. Ramona does a beautiful job tying the Enneagram into The Adult Chair model and helping each of us understand what our Child, Adolescent and Adult might look like based on our type.   Listen to discover: The three Enneagram centers and the nine types The message each type didn’t receive as a child and the wounding each type carries The mask each type creates to cover that wounding What the core essence (healthy Adult) looks like for each type How to recognize our triggers and move towards presence   This show was as cool as it was informative! Even if you have never heard of the Enneagram, you will benefit from listening as it will deepen your understanding of your wounding and how you are showing up in the world. If you want to listen to the other shows that Ramona has been on to deepen your understanding of the Enneagram, see the show notes below. They are all brilliant shows!   “The point is not to never be triggered again. It’s to understand that triggers are human and they’re mine...I want to learn how to encounter them with more accountability and integrity and love for myself and my inner child.” - Ramona Reid   “Everyone’s just sort of doing the best they can, and then we internalize that. When we’re little, we think, ‘This is about me,’ and we create separation from our essence.” - Ramona Reid   “As children, we are sponges and absorb everything around us...and it becomes ours. It’s why you’ve got to observe everything and pay attention to what’s going on inside of you.” - Michelle Chalfant   “The work from my perspective is getting in touch with what’s actually going on. Notice where our minds are going, where our hearts are going, out of presence...when we’re able to be present, that’s when our core essential qualities will show up.” - Ramona Reid   Resources Ramona Reid Website http://www.mynashvillecenter.com Ramona Reid Radio Show http://www.holisticrevolution.com Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self in the Heart of Your Enneagram https://theadultchair.com/podcast/51 Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair Using the Wisdom of the Enneagram https://theadultchair.com/podcast/114 Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/ Book: Sacred Enneagram - Christopher L. Heuertz https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Enneagram-Finding-Unique-Spiritual/dp/0310348277/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/ Self Series theadultchair.com/self The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

We can never have enough self-esteem. So many of us didn’t have healthy self-esteem role models growing up, so we are embarking on this journey now. The good news is that it’s never too late to learn to love yourself...and it’s a life-long journey, so you will have plenty of people along the path with you! Using The Adult Chair, building healthy self-esteem is not only possible, but it can also happen quickly. In this episode, I’m giving you practical steps for changing how you view and speak to yourself and easy practices you can use to build self-esteem every day.   Listen to discover: Self-discovery questions you can ask yourself to see how healthy your self-esteem is Why creating a practice of building self-esteem is so important The four steps to building self-esteem How to control your thoughts and shift your self-talk How to work with your parts and bust the stories that keep you from loving yourself   I will always be working on my self-esteem because I believe it’s something we can always have more of! With the help of The Adult Chair model, we can live our lives to the fullest and create happiness we never thought possible. Enjoy your journey of building up your new sense of self and empowerment in your Adult Chair!   “Our thoughts drive our emotions up or down. We need to raise our awareness to our thoughts and watch what’s coming in and out of our mouths or in and out of our brains.”- Michelle Chalfant   “These parts are not blocking our progress. They simply want and need our attention.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If the story you’re telling yourself makes you miserable...you have the power to change it.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources 5 -Minute Self-Love Meditation https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/ Episode #84: Raising Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER Self Series theadultchair.com/self Green Chef https://www.greenchef.com/adult80 $80 off your first month + free shipping   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Relationships with narcissists are insidious. They begin one way, and over time, very slowly and covertly, they change and become poisonous. We wake up one day and wonder what we did wrong and how we got here. We blame ourselves and can even feel embarrassed to tell others. In today’s very vulnerable show, Tracy shares her story of being married to a narcissist, how his toxic behaviors subtly increased over time and how it affected her sense of self. After marrying who she thought was a wonderful man, her life drastically changed and she began doubting herself. She fell into a depression, lived with anxiety and lost her sense of who she was. Tracy walks us through her story of waking up to the abuse and getting out of the relationship. We offer advice for others who are in these types of relationships, including what you can do and how to begin to build yourself back up and find your true self again.   Listen to discover: How quickly relationships with a narcissist can shift and how confusing they can be Why subtle abuse is so easy to miss How narcissists whittle down self-esteem and create self-doubt Steps you can take to protect yourself or leave if needed How refinding yourself after a difficult relationship can be fun and exciting The importance of community and friends who can give you a reality check when you’re feeling self-doubt   “You think, ‘I don’t have negative feelings about myself,’ but something in my body was telling me I wasn’t good.” - Tracy   “I saw what his father was doing to him, but I didn’t see what he was doing to me.” - Tracy   “He chopped away your belief in yourself, the self-love you had, your self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant   “You deserve to be happy. You are a good person. If you feel good about what you’re doing and you’re confident in who you are, be aware of that and remind yourself of that and step out of the picture for a while.” - Tracy   Resources 5 -Minute Self-Love Meditation https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/ Episode #84: Raising Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/ Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship? https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/ Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER The Self Series theadultchair.com/self  BOMBAS https://bombas.com/adult 20% off your first order   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

We all have different ways that we connect and bond with others, and in psychology, we call this “attachment style.” For example, some of us are anxious in our bonds, always making sure the relationship is ok. Others of us pull away when we feel we are getting too close with someone else. Our attachment style is HIGHLY influenced by our childhood and how we bonded with our caregivers growing up, and it’s so important to understanding how we interact in our adult relationships! In this episode, I interview the incredible Silvy Khoucasian, a relationship coach and attachment style expert, about the different attachment styles and how we bond in relationships. Understanding your attachment style can be one of the most helpful tools for understanding how you show up in relationships and seeing the patterns that you might otherwise be tempted to blame on your partner.   Listen to discover: What attachment theory is and why it matters The four attachment styles How the different attachment styles interact with each other How your attachment style creates patterns in your relationships today How to set boundaries for each attachment style Repairing shame and moving forward in relationships   It was such a joy having Silvy on the show as she breaks down attachment theory in a simple, easy-to-understand way. As Silvy reminds us, our attachment style is not our fault, and it’s important to be gentle with ourselves as we learn and heal these patterns. Everyone is deserving of love and capable of having secure, healthy relationships no matter their attachment style — but it’s up to us to do the work! I hope this episode helps you on your journey towards healthier relationships.   “Along that journey, it’s important to start reflecting on, ‘What are some ways I can start to bring healthier behaviors into the picture?’ or at least, ‘How can I communicate the tendencies that push people away or block connection?’” - Silvy Khoucasian   “It doesn’t matter who we pair with as long as both people are willing to see their unhealthy behaviors...it takes both people being really honest about those things.” - Silvy Khoucasian   “Starting to pay attention to whether our boundaries are serving us or if they’re actually getting in the way of the kinds of relationships we want can be really helpful and can be paired with certain attachment styles really well.” - Silvy Khoucasian   “As you do the thing that’s going to help you heal it, it’s going to be uncomfortable.” - Silvy Khoucasian   “You have to know yourself, then you have to be able to tell your partner who you are and what you need. We react instead of expressing, ‘Hey, this is what I need.’” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Silvy Khoucasian on Instagram @SilvyKhoucasian Boundaries Offering https://bryanreves.com/boundaries-silvy/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

As we reach the last week of June and find ourselves halfway through 2020, I’m having a hard time finding words for this year. It has felt like a year of nonstop chaos, with so many challenges at the global and personal level. We are all feeling triggered everywhere we turn and overwhelmed by a range of emotions. You might be wondering if it’s even possible to live from your healthy Adult Chair during times like these, and I’m here to tell you that it IS possible. These are the times when we need The Adult Chair the most. It is when our healthiest selves are challenged that we truly develop the skills and practices that keep us in peace and balance regardless of outside circumstances. In this episode, I give you tons of practical tips to help you navigate times of chaos from your Adult Chair. This includes how to tell when you’ve slipped into the Adolescent, how to get back into your Adult and how I’m using The Adult Chair model to get through 2020.   Listen to discover: The key signs that you’re in the Adolescent Chair How to get into your Adult Chair What anxiety is and how to clear the mind when it’s running constantly How to feel emotions, clear your energy and stay grounded What triggers are and how they can be helpful Practical tips to get through hard times from a healthy place   When I say The Adult Chair model is here to help you live a life of balance no matter what is going on in the world (or your life), I mean it! It’s not just a zen state that you can find when all is good. It’s a practical model to help you get through even the most chaotic of times. I know it is helping me! I really believe that we are in a season of transformation right now. Our world is changing, and it’s bringing us along with it. And while transformation is always painful, we are uncovering truths that have been hidden for far too long and making progress that is long overdue. Through The Adult Chair model, not only can you stay balanced during stressful times, but you can also step into your own journey of transformation and join the world as it changes for the better.   “When we’re faced with fear, we have a tendency to slide out of the Adult Chair, the seat of the authentic part of who we are, and we get pulled by our ego into our Adolescent Chair. This is the seat of unconsciousness.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We want to make sure we’re living in this place [of presence] before we step out into the world or make a statement.” - Michelle Chalfant   "Anxiety is the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions." - Michelle Chalfant   “I can’t expect the world to change to make me feel better. [I have] to change and make [myself] feel better, and I say the same thing to you.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ Insight Timer https://insighttimer.com/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

As humans, we all want to avoid pain and suffering...but what if pain can be a gateway to our healing? What if experiencing sadness actually increases our ability to feel joy? In this episode, I’m chatting with the incredible Ruthie Lindsey as she shares her journey through tragedy and chronic pain to hope and healing. After being nearly killed in a car accident in high school, Ruthie experienced chronic physical pain as a result of a spinal cord injury while also walking through the death of her father and other personal tragedies. It would have been easy to simply numb out to survive, but Ruthie made the conscious choice to seek goodness and beauty despite the pain, and in doing so, opened up a world of hope and healing.    Listen to discover: Ruthie’s journey from numbing her pain to learning to live fully in spite of pain Why the mind/body connection is so important The connection between physical healing and emotional healing The importance of inner child work in unlearning destructive stories and beliefs Ruthie’s journey of coming home to Self and waking up to consciousness — and how you can go on this journey for yourself    We all have a choice to either numb our pain or to live fully and lean into healing. As Ruthie shares her story, I know you will be inspired and enlightened on what it truly means to heal, and I hope she will be a mirror of love and hope to all who are on their own journeys of healing.   "When you numb the hard and painful things, you numb everything. You can't pick and choose." - Ruthie Lindsey   "I feel like for me, so much of my healing work has been this unlearning, has been this remembering, has been this unwinding of the stories that we learn from the culture and patriarchy and church and family telling us these things about ourselves and that who we are is what we do." - Ruthie Lindsey   "You can't [heal] for someone else. Only you can do that for you. But when we do that, we can go out and be mirrors of love, hope and healing and divinity that's within everyone." - Ruthie Lindsey   "We're handed down these beliefs about who we are without discernment." - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Ruthie Lindsey Website http://www.ruthielindsey.com/ Ruthie Lindsey Book https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/198210791X Ruthie Lindsey Instagram http://instagram.com/ruthielindsey Ruthie Lindsey Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/ruthielindseyspeaker Ruthie Lindsey Twitter https://twitter.com/lindseyruthie Onsite https://www.onsiteworkshops.com/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/nashville/   More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Why do you do what you do? That question is probably more difficult to answer than most of us think...not only because we often don’t know ourselves well, but also because the majority of our behaviors and actions come from programming in the unconscious mind. Sometimes, this programming happened when we were so young that we can’t even recall it; in fact, most of our beliefs form before the age of five! But the good news is that no matter our programming, we CAN change our minds, rewire our thoughts and beliefs, and as a result, transform the way we act and live. In this episode, I interview the brilliant Marisa Peer, a therapist, behavioral specialist, author and speaker who helps people completely transform their lives by changing their minds. The founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy, an innovative method rooted in hypnotism, Marisa helps clients uncover their unconscious beliefs and transform them at the source. Marisa is an expert on the inner workings of the mind, and she walks us through the process for coding in new healthy beliefs and breaking unhealthy patterns. She also shares really practical and simple ways we can begin to change our mind, even without therapy or hypnotism.   Listen to discover: How the mind works and how limiting beliefs are formed, even without us knowing it’s happening Why and how we can literally change our minds The four-step process of shifting beliefs: investigating, interpreting, interrupting and installing new ones The three root causes of depression and how to transform it The power of our words and how to use language that transforms the mind (it needs to be practical, present and repeatable) Why the phrase “I am enough” is the KEY to transforming just about anything in your life   This episode is so RICH with content that I can’t even begin to summarize it here...you just have to listen! Marisa also leaves us with some beautiful information about her international “I am enough” movement, so you can take what you learn and put it into action right away.   “If you unconsciously created it, you can consciously let go of it.” - Marisa Peer   “The mind doesn’t have a choice to act on the words you say, but you have a choice to say better words.” - Marisa Peer   “How you feel about anything comes down to the picture you make in your head and the words that you construct.” - Marisa Peer   “When you hurt a child or don’t meet their needs, they don’t stop loving you — they stop loving themselves.”  - Marisa Peer   “The common denominator of all our issues stems from ‘I’m not enough.” - Marisa Peer   Resources Marisa Peer Website (free resources) https://marisapeer.com/ Rapid Transformational Therapy (for therapists) https://rtt.com/ I Am Enough (course) https://iamenough.com/ Marisa Peer Instagram https://www.instagram.com/marisapeertherapy/ Marisa Peer YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGb0bBp7bTQBHLlyAfNV-Fg Marisa Peer Facebook https://www.facebook.com/marisa.peer.therapy/ Marisa Peer Twitter https://twitter.com/marisapeer The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/nashville/ The Adult Chair Membership (June Theme: Self-Worth) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

With everything going on the world the last few months, fear has been on all of our minds recently. Though this fear is very real, it’s also related to events happening outside of ourselves...events we can’t fully control. But we also all have deeper emotional fears that aren’t related to what is going on in the world and are more constant: fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection, fear of being trapped, etc. They come from inside us, and they hold us back from living the life we really want to live. What if you could train yourself to face your fears and become more than you ever thought possible in life?  Today’s guest, Michelle Poler, asked herself that same question and embarked on a life-changing experiment where she faced a new fear every day for 100 days. Her project went viral, and she now travels the world speaking and writing about how to walk through fear and tap into your fullest potential.  In this episode, she shares her incredible journey, what she learned through her experiment and her tips for overcoming fear in everyday life.   Listen to discover: Why our fears limit us and keep us from becoming who we’re meant to be How to practice courage and build confidence How to face the unknown and embrace change Reframing failure and choosing to see opportunity instead Finding the best, even in the worst-case scenario   When we feel fear in our bodies, most of us take that as a sign to stop what we’re doing or run in the other direction. But when we push through that fear, we discover a world of potential, dreams and opportunities.  Michelle’s story and perspective on life is SO inspiring, and I know you will walk away from this episode with fresh energy to say “no” to fear and “yes” to life!   “When you radically accept what’s happening, you open new doors.” - Michelle Poler “Don’t ask yourself, ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen?’ Ask yourself ‘What’s the best thing that could happen?’” - Michelle Poler “The real enemy of success is not failure; it’s comfort.” - Michelle Poler   Resources Michelle Poler Website https://www.michellepoler.com/ Michelle Poler Instagram http://instagram.com/hellofears Michelle Poler Book https://www.amazon.com/Hello-Fears-Crush-Comfort-Become/dp/1492688894 The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/nashville/ The Adult Chair Membership (June Theme: Self-Worth) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Care/Of https://takecareof.com/ 50% off with code ADULT50   More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Boundaries are one of those things that I think we can never talk too much about! Though this is a simple topic, boundaries are difficult for most of us — but they’re completely life-changing when we learn to practice them well. So, it’s time to talk about boundaries again, and in this episode, I’m giving you a boundaries crash course! If you’ve been listening for a while, this will be a great refresher on the topic of boundaries…and if you’re brand new to the show, this is the perfect place to start in learning this critical skill. A boundary is simply teaching others how to treat us. Setting them can feel scary at first, but it’s our job to care for ourselves by honoring our boundaries. Otherwise, we are betraying ourselves and putting the beliefs and values of others before ours…and that never leads to peace and happiness in life.   Listen to discover: The first step to knowing your boundaries How to communicate “bullet point” boundaries How to get more comfortable with boundaries as a codependent and how to distinguish weak boundaries from loving action When to speak up and when to remove yourself (both a version of boundaries) Why we can’t expect others to know our boundaries   Remember, a boundary can be as simple as “I feel _____ when you do _____.” This is a great formula for getting started with boundaries! Most of us didn't have health boundaries modeled growing up, and most of us struggle with setting them. Give yourself some grace! This is not about beating yourself up but about practicing boundaries until they get easier with time — and you get healthier as a result.   “Before setting a boundary, you have to know who you are and what your beliefs, values, morals and needs are.” - Michelle Chalfant   “A boundary may have no words. It may be removing yourself.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources A Guided Meditation for Setting Boundaries https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-for-setting-boundaries/ Episode #184: Boundaries, Empowerment and Finding Truth https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/184/ Episode #175: Setting Healthy Boundaries https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/175-setting-healthy-boundaries/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

“Empath” is one of those words that has become a buzzword over the last few years, and it has us empaths who have felt different our whole lives yelling, “Finally!” At last, the world is beginning to understand that certain people are wired in a way that makes them highly in tune with their environment and the emotions around them. Where empaths might have been called too sensitive in the past, we’re now acknowledging the unique gifts that empaths bring to the table — from having huge amounts of empathy to deeply caring for others. But being an empath also comes with its own unique set of challenges. Because we’re so affected by what is going on around us, we can often find ourselves overwhelmed, exhausted or just feeling “off.” Self-care is SO critical for empaths to stay healthy and centered. In this episode, I’m interviewing the incredible Dr. Judith Orloff, a brilliant psychiatrist and healer, who has written a number of books on how to survive and thrive as an empath. She shares a wealth of wisdom on how to know if you’re an empath, common traps empaths fall into and practical tips to live empowered as an empath.   Listen to discover: Why empaths often have a hard time blocking out the world around them Why empaths are often drawn to relationships with narcissists Avoiding the addiction and anger trap (often a side effect of overwhelm) The side effects of chronic sensory overload and how to recognize them Practical tips for self-care and getting back into balance as an empath If you’ve felt different, sensitive or intuitive your whole life, I think this episode will really resonate with you. Empaths are kind, loving, beautiful individuals who can truly thrive when we learn to be just as kind and loving to ourselves.   “Empaths don’t have the same kind of filters that other people have in terms of emotional or physical filters, so when something intense is going on in the world or your life, you may have a tendency to be overwhelmed by this.” - Dr. Judith Orloff   “Many empaths are having problems during this time because they’re not embodied anymore. They’re in their minds and they’re in panic, fear and suffering is in the mind. So if you bring it back to the body and heart, which is healing energy, you can recalibrate yourself.” - Dr. Judith Orloff   “An empowered empath is someone who can stay centered and loving without absorbing all the energy.” - Dr. Judith Orloff   Resources  Judith Orloff Website https://drjudithorloff.com/  Judith Orloff Book: “The Empath’s Survival Guide” https://www.amazon.com/Empaths-Survival-Guide-Strategies-Sensitive Judith Orloff Book: “Thriving As An Empath” https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1683642910 Judith Orloff Empath Support Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/929510143757438/   Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/  Empath Meditation for Cleansing and Clearing Your Energy https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/empath-meditation-for-cleansing-and-clearing-your-energy/   More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

Most of us long for deeply connected relationships — it’s a core part of our wiring as humans! But even when we’re in a relationship, many of us don’t know how to create the connection we crave. We might spend time with those we love, talk frequently and even get along with each other easily, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we know how to really let ourselves be known and how to really see and hear each other. In today’s episode, I want to give you some practices and tips you can use to more deeply connect with your partner — or really any significant person in your life. Real intimacy happens when we learn to share our reality and inner world, ask for what we need and stop trying to fix ourselves or our partners. I’m sharing some of the habits my husband and I use to stay connected in our marriage, some of the road blocks all couples run up against and how healing your own wounding can help you become stronger in relationships.   Listen to discover: How sharing your inner world changes your relationship (and how to make this a habit) The art of active listening and mirroring Cultivating safety and making each other feel seen and heard How your childhood wounding affects your relationships as an adult Why triggers in a relationship can be a gift Effective communication and the importance of weekly check-ins   There is magic when we learn to really communicate with our partners and let ourselves be fully known and fully loved. I hope the practical tools in this episode help you start building rituals of connection into your life today and every day!   “Your childhood wounding and your partner’s childhood wounding are magnetic...They are here to help you to see it, feel it, know it and heal it.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Don’t go into stories about what you think your partner is doing and why they’re doing it. You really want to spend time asking questions and sharing your reality.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you’re sharing and being witnessed, you’re having the experience of being seen and heard.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Episode #146: Healthy Relationships https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/146-healthy-relationships/ 14 Days To Peace & Balance Journaling Prompts https://theadultchair.com/14days Cultivating Inner Peace Meditation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PKAxhVgOu0   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

As we discuss the rise of domestic abuse during the COVID-19 crisis and the pervasiveness of this issue around the world, I wanted to shed some light on another group of survivors: the children of domestic abuse. Whether a child is directly abused or witnesses the abuse of their father or mother, abuse during childhood can have lasting traumatic effects and shape our view of relationships and the self in unhealthy ways. On today’s episode, we have another brave and beautiful woman, MaryBeth, who has agreed to share her story of growing up in an abusive household. She regularly witnessed her father verbally, physically, emotionally and spiritually abusing her mother while also verbally and spiritually abusing her and her siblings. She shares the way that growing up in that environment impacted her life, even as an adult, as well as her hopeful journey of healing and transformation. Many adults in abusive relationships cite the children as the reason they stay together. I hope hearing MaryBeth’s experience as a child witnessing domestic abuse will offer a new perspective and bring awareness to the way abuse affects families for generations.   In this episode, MaryBeth shares: Her powerful story of witnessing and experiencing abuse for most of her childhood, adolescence and young adulthood The impacts of abuse on her life and her journey of healing The way children take abuse on and can personally feel at fault How childhood abuse can skew a child's sense of what’s normal in relationships Spiritual abuse and the role religion can play in abuse How to break the lineage of abuse The importance of grace and forgiveness for yourself and others   I know you will be so encouraged by MaryBeth's courageous journey of healing, how Adult Chair work has played an instrumental role in her transformation and her arrival at a place of hope and forgiveness. Her story is such an inspirational reminder that we CAN heal, one step at a time, and that there is power in telling our stories, seeing and speaking the truth and offering grace to ourselves and even those who hurt us. If you are in an abusive situation right now, remember that your children are soaking in everything they are seeing. This becomes their model of relationship; we're teaching them what's normal. For those staying for the kids, please consider getting out for the kids. If you are recovering from an abusive childhood, know that healing is possible. There are dozens of resources on The Adult Chair website, including podcasts, meditations, courses and more that can help you in your journey of healing. If you are in danger, please tell someone.  The Adult Chair community (closed Facebook group linked below) is always here for emotional support.   If you need help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Deaf or hard of hearing, use TTY 1-800-787-3224 If unable to speak, text LOVEIS to 22522   If you are in an emergency situation, please call 911.   "It's like you're in a warzone, and you're always looking at your back. We were always trying to prevent, anticipate what he might be upset about. But it didn't matter. It was never good enough." - MaryBeth, childhood domestic abuse survivor   "I didn't even know I was a child of abuse. Why would anything be wrong, because I was the one who was wrong. I was the one that was the mistake. I was the one causing his frustration."  - MaryBeth, childhood domestic abuse survivor   "You break that lineage of abuse when you speak up and say, 'No, I'm done!'" - Michelle Chalfant   "If you're in a domestic abuse situation, your children are growing up thinking, 'This is normal.'" - Michelle Chalfant   Resources National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/help/  Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/  The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group (safe place to connect, get emotional support and share your story)  https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com    Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

Studies show that since the start of the COVID-19 quarantine, domestic abuse is up by 30 to 40 percent worldwide. Abusers are using the global crisis to increase their sense of power and control, and women are trapped at home with abusive partners, making them more vulnerable to frequent abuse. This is something that enrages me and that I’m so passionate about shedding light on. Domestic abuse isn’t just a quarantine issue. Far too many women (and men) suffer abuse from their partners daily, and I felt compelled to do something to bring awareness to this topic. I reached out to our Adult Chair community and asked if any survivors would be willing to share their stories of abuse and triumph — and in this episode, I am interviewing two incredibly brave and strong women who are sharing how they escaped and rebuilt their lives after abuse.   In this episode, the women share: Their stories of abuse and the insidious pattern of how their abusers slowly whittled down their self-esteem How verbal abuse can turn into physical abuse Their turning point, when they realized it was time to leave How they left, even without a place to go (it IS possible, and there is help for you!) The triumph and increased sense of self after they escaped Advice for others currently trapped in abusive relationships   This episode is powerful, raw and real, and I’m incredibly grateful to these women for sharing their very important stories. The thing about abuse is that it puts you in a fog where all your energy is going towards survival. Each woman I interviewed shared about her “turning point” moment where she moved from being on the defense into a place of being on the offense, shifting from just trying to survive to consciously figuring out how to get out.  I can’t imagine being quarantined with an abuser, but I pray this will be a turning point for many. I hope this episode shows you you’re not alone and gives you the hope and encouragement you need to know that you CAN leave and you can find a beautiful, empowered, triumphant life after abuse. If you are in danger, please tell someone.  The Adult Chair community (closed Facebook group linked below) is always here for emotional support.   If you need help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Deaf or hard of hearing, use TTY 1-800-787-3224 If unable to speak, text LOVEIS to 22522   If you are in an emergency situation, please call 911.   “I stopped at a payphone at a convenience store a block away from the police station. I called the police, it’s almost midnight, and I told them ‘I can’t go home.’” - Kathleen, domestic abuse survivor   “I didn’t have anything, but I had the determination to get out of it.” - Lea, domestic abuse survivor   “I would look in the mirror, and being a faith-based person, I would say to myself ‘God did not have you be born for this.’” - Kathleen   “There are others out there not only that have walked in those shoes, but are willing to help you reach those resources.” - Lea   “Pay attention to how your partner makes you feel. If it feels bad, pay attention...if someone’s making you feel less than or talking down to you, it’s not ok.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/help/  A Guided Meditation on Worthiness https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-on-worthiness/ Episode #139 Cultivate Self-Worth https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/139-cultivate-self-worth/   The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group (safe place to connect, get emotional support and share your story)  https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com    Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

Today, we’re talking about two of our listeners’ favorite topics — narcissism and codependency. I’ve discussed these topics individually on the show before, but in reality, they are deeply connected with each other. And I’m honored to welcome back to the show Ross Rosenberg, a psychotherapist and leading expert on codependency, narcissism, trauma and addiction, on the show to help us understand the connection between these two traits and how to break the cycle. Ross explains the “dance” of codependency and narcissism, exploring how codependency often forms from narcissistic abuse in childhood and why codependents and narcissists are like magnets for each other. We tend to be attracted to what feels familiar to us, which is why codependents often experience intense chemistry with a narcissistic partner — until the “soulmate” becomes the “cellmate.” It’s not until we learn to fill our own self-love deficit that we can break the cycle of abuse and start forming relationships with partners who love and respect our whole selves.   Listen to discover: Why narcissism and codependency go hand in hand Attachment wounds and the origins of codependency Why codependency is really a self-love deficit The different types of narcissism Gaslighting and the distortion of our reality (the greatest tool of the narcissist) Setting boundaries with a narcissist (and why it often doesn’t work) Narcissists and codependents in quarantine: the three most important tools we have to make it through   This was SUCH a great episode that will help you understand the “why” behind narcissism and codependency while also giving you practical tips for taking care of yourself in a relationship with a narcissist and rebuilding the self once the relationship ends.   “The child intuitively knows that the world’s not safe, and they somehow have to adapt to it or mold themselves to it so they are the type of child that engenders being cared for.” - Ross Rosenberg   “How you mold yourself [as a child] ends up being how you’re going to be as an adult in relationships.” - Ross Rosenberg   Other Episodes with Ross #54: Narcissism, Codependence and the Self-Love Deficit: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/54-narcissism-codependence-and-the-self-love-deficit-with-ross-rosenberg/   Resources Ross Rosenberg Website http://selfloverecovery.com/ Ross Rosenberg YouTube https://www.youtube.com/rossrosenberg Ross Rosenberg Book: “The Human Magnet Syndrome” https://www.amazon.com/Human-Magnet-Syndrome-Love-People/dp/1936128314 Video: When You Unmask a Covert Narcissist, RUN, But Quietly! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3an9crV9feM Video: Boundaries Don’t Work with Narcissists! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF9hDRhx_hU Ross Rosenberg Event at The Art of Living September 2020 https://www.artofliving.org/ 14 Days To Peace & Balance Journaling Prompts https://theadultchair.com/14days   The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

For the first time in history, the entire world is sharing the same fears and the same hopes. With so much chaos all around us and with everyone’s life impacted by this virus and the quarantine, is it really possible to find peace? I believe you can find peace no matter where you are in life, and I believe that because I have lived it! I spent the first part of my life living with anxiety and depression every day, and now I wake up most days in a state of peace...one that I would have never thought possible during my days of anxiety. And while there isn’t a magic pill to find peace, the good news is that we have a choice and can take small steps every day to live in greater peace. Today, I want to share my step-by-step guide to cultivating peace with you — the exact practices I use to stay in peace in my life. These steps are practical, quick and easy to practice, but they make ALL the difference.   Listen to discover: How the ego responds to emotions (and why that creates problems for us!) How our stories and assumptions get us out of balance How to honor and truly feel your emotions Why you are the only one who can take care of you The five steps you can do today to find greater peace   Here are the five steps I share in the episode. Listen to find out exactly how to practice these, starting today! Slow down Put your feet on the floor and ground Breathe (slowly) Check in with yourself (body and emotions) Journal to process what you are feeling   Happiness is fleeting, but peace is a state of being that we can choose and sustain. This quarantine is an opportunity for healing and transformation, but we have to take care of ourselves. I hope these five steps give you the tools you need to stay in peace and balance in any season of life.   “One of the things that we do when we have an emotion that’s rising up inside of us is we speed up. Because what’s happening is the ego is trying to solve the “problem,” which is the emotion that we’re having.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When we sit in our healthy Adult Chair, we know emotions are not a bad thing. They are a beautiful gift.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

The world is experiencing a time of high stress and universal confusion like most of us have never experienced in our lifetimes. We are all walking through a collective trauma together. But just because an experience is common, it does not mean we all respond to it in the same way. Each of us is wired uniquely, and every personality type experiences stress and anxiety differently. The Enneagram is such a powerful tool for understanding ourselves and our personalities, and it gives us incredible insights into how we are each processing the stress of COVID-19. In today’s episode, I talk with my friend and holistic Enneagram coach, Ramona Reid, to discover the various ways each Enneagram type might be processing stress. From wanting to fix the situation or help others to feelings of isolation and fear, it’s so important to understand how you respond to stress so you can recognize it and get back into balance.   Listen to discover: What stress looks like for each Enneagram type How to cope and find balance based on your unique stress response How to find your “peace point” Tools for your type to help you manage stress and fear   The Enneagram is not a box but rather a tool for self-discovery that reveals our strengths, weaknesses, fears and desires so that we can grow beyond our type. Understanding how you are responding to stress right now will give you more compassion for yourself and others as we all walk through a very different, yet shared global experience.   “This is the opportunity to see ourselves either show up and use our tools and be present and healthy or show up and manage fear in the ways we’ve learned through our coping mechanisms.” - Ramona Reid   “Now is not a time to take [the Enneagram] and try to fix ourselves...it’s more an opportunity to see what’s happening from fear.” - Ramona Reid   Other Episodes With Ramona #51: Find Your Authentic Self at the Heart of Your Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/51-find-your-authentic-self-at-the-heart-of-your-enneagram/ #114: Deepening the Adult Chair Using the Wisdom of the Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/114-deepening-the-adult-chair-using-the-wisdom-of-the-enneagram-with-ramona-reid/ #176: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram: https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/176-childhood-wounding-in-the-enneagram/   Resources Ramona Reid Website http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/ Ramona Reid Instagram https://www.instagram.com/nashvillecenter/ Ramona Reid Facebook https://www.facebook.com/nashvillecenterforalternativetherapy The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

There is no doubt that it’s not an easy time for the nervous system. With the amount of collective and personal fear and stress in our world right now, our minds and bodies have to work extra hard to maintain a state of calm and balance. Fortunately, we’re not on our own! There are SO MANY amazing, simple tools that you can use to make a huge difference in how you feel on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. In today’s episode, I’m chatting with my friend Annie Boerner, an integrative health practitioner who specializes in calming and balancing the whole person through the nervous system. With a background in neurological therapy, bodywork and other powerful techniques, Annie helps people overcome pain, chronic health problems, PTSD and other stress-related challenges naturally and holistically. I’m so grateful to have Annie on the show today as she shares some of her favorite tools for natural relief of anxiety, overwhelm and stress. From essential oils to hands-on tools for keeping yourself relaxed and in balance, this is a super practical episode with ideas that you can begin using to feel better TODAY!   You will discover: How essential oils interact with the brain to provide nervous system and emotional support The best oils for immune support, anxiety, depression and more Body-based tools for calming the nervous system Stress-relieving practices and sensory resources such as brushing, weighted blankets, nature, music and meditation Grounding techniques for getting in the present moment and calming your energy The importance of fun and movement   Though we created this episode in the middle of a global pandemic, the reality is that life is often stressful and challenging, even when the world is not in crisis. The simple, practical and affordable tools Annie offers us really work and can be integrated into our daily routines for greater peace every day. And THAT is some good news worth celebrating!   “A dysregulated nervous system is at the root of all disease and dysfunction in the body.” - Annie Boerner   Resources Annie Boerner Website https://annieboerner.com/   Annie Boerner Instagram https://www.instagram.com/annieboerner/   Annie Boerner Facebook https://www.facebook.com/anniewaugh13/   Oils That Annie Recommends OnGuard Lemongrass Adaptiv Wild Orange Frankincense   The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

As much as we hate to admit it, difficult times are part of life. Sometimes, they come in the form of trying seasons in our personal lives; other times, the whole world goes through challenges together, facing disasters like famine, tornadoes and disease. But just like difficulty is part of human history, so is resilience. Each of us has the ability to not only cope with what life throws our way, but to become stronger and thrive as a result.  It was such a gift to interview Linda Graham, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping people cope with life’s challenges and develop a healthy sense of self through them. As I write these notes in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping the world, I feel it is so important to explore this topic, and I know Linda’s perspective will be so encouraging to many. In this episode, we’re talking all about resilience, including how it relates to our nervous systems, how we can find peace and balance in the middle of pain, how we can bounce back from trauma and how we can reverse the impact of stress in our lives. We are all called to cultivate this skill through various life experiences, and while it might not be the most fun lesson to learn, the beautiful thing is that practicing resilience cultivates a mindset that empowers us to cope with anything.   Listen to this episode to discover: How resilience develops and how to get unstuck from trauma The source of anxiety and depression and how they are connected to the nervous system How to live with realistic optimism, which means facing what’s happening and making wise decisions about what to do next The art of skillful distraction and how to cope with pain in healthy ways Teaching resilience to our kids Navigating grief and practicing gratitude and compassion to build resilience And SO much more!!   Linda also shares a number of practical body-based tools that can help us adjust our nervous systems, keep a clear mind and an open heart and face what life throws our way. I know you will be encouraged by Linda’s reminder that you always have a choice, and you will find hope in the fact that nothing is permanent and we can bounce back stronger than ever.   “We go through disappointments and difficulties in our life. We’re called upon to face disaster. A resilience practice gives us tools and a mindset where we can cope with anything at all.” - Linda Graham   “The most important thing is to shift from focusing on the stressor to focusing on our own internal response because that is what we can do something about.” - Linda Graham   Resources Linda Graham Website https://lindagraham-mft.net/ Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience by Linda Graham https://www.amazon.com/Bouncing-Back-Rewiring-Resilience-Well-Being/dp/1608681297 Resilience: Powerful Practices to Bounce Back from Disappointment, Difficulty and Even Disaster by Linda Graham https://lindagraham-mft.net/resilience/  The New Adolescence by Christine Carter https://www.amazon.com/New-Adolescence-Raising-Successful-Distraction/dp/1948836548 The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff https://www.amazon.com/Coddling-American-Mind-Intentions-Generation/dp/0735224897   Care/Of  - 50% off your first order https://takecareof.com/ Promo code: adult50   The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

I am so excited about today’s episode — both because I’m interviewing someone I deeply admire, the inspiring Amberly Lago, and because this show couldn’t have come at a more divine time with all that’s going on in the world today. Amberly is someone I would call a “resiliency expert,” and she has a lot to teach us about finding inner strength during challenging times. Amberly has been through so much in her life, but instead of letting it overcome her, she worked through fear and pain and shows us how we can find light even in dark times. She now helps millions of others discover how to persevere and live life to the fullest regardless of circumstances through her writing, speaking, podcasts and workshops. In this episode, Amberly shares her powerful story of healing from a motorcycle accident and her journey through chronic pain, depression and learning to reclaim power over her life and live with true grit and grace. You can’t help but be inspired by her ability to turn tragedy into triumph and pain into purpose — and to realize you have the same choice every day.   Listen to discover: How to find strength and hope in times of struggle The power of choosing our thoughts and how positive thinking and gratitude really changes your life The importance of community and why getting vulnerable is a strength and not a weakness Her unique “PACER” process for strengthening resiliency and getting through challenges we face in life   Amberly’s book changed my life and has become a touchstone for me when I find myself reaching for hope. I hope that this week’s show inspires you and reminds you that no matter what is going on in your life (or the world), with a little bit of hope and a lot of determination, you can overcome anything!   “Once you realize you have a choice, you take your power back.” - Amberly Lago   “Getting grateful turns what we can’t do into what we can do, and it turns what we don’t have into what we do have.” - Amberly Lago   Resources Amberly Lago https://amberlylago.com/ True Grit and Grace (Amberly Lago) https://amberlylago.com/product/true-grit-and-grace/ Amberly Lago Instagram https://www.instagram.com/amberlylagomotivation/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

As we are in the middle of a global pandemic that is causing so much fear and confusion, I wanted to offer you a bonus episode with a free meditation to help you promote relaxation and peace.  It's such a confusing time right now, and the events of the last few weeks don’t make sense to anyone. Some people are scared, angry, anxious or unsure how to feel. And I understand why. Nothing can prepare us for a global crisis like this. Even though I don’t understand why all of this is happening, I firmly believe that we are connected to something so much bigger than us, and I cling to the fact that something good is coming from this, even if we can't see it right now. Fear makes us feel disconnected from ourselves and separated from this Love, but it’s always there for us when we slow down and tune in. This free, five-minute self-love meditation will help you connect to that bigger source of Love and reconnect to yourself so you can find a state of peace and balance (mentally, emotionally and physically) despite what is going on. Whether you’re listening to this during this time of collective uncertainty or you’re listening at a later date to help you navigate a personal time of fear, I hope this will be a gift to you to help bring hope and healing, even in the middle of hard times.   Resources More Free Meditations https://theadultchair.com/meditations/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you?  In today’s show, I’m interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social engagement system, based on the Vagus Nerve. In this episode, we talk about how we can both understand and balance our nervous system — from the different ways we respond to fear or danger (including fight, flight, freeze and a new one you might not be aware of) to how we can change our response to stressors over time. We explore how we can stop moralizing our nervous response, how to listen and pay attention to our nervous system and how others’ nervous systems can help us regulate. It is FASCINATING!   Listen to discover: What the Polyvagal Theory is and why it’s important for you to know about it Understanding the Polyvagal Theory to learn how to better balance the nervous system  How the Polyvagal Theory could be linked with depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and other ailments   How we can reshape our nervous system Specific ways to self-regulate when you are stressed, based on YOUR unique nervous system    This blends attachment theory, stress response, self-regulation, co-regulation and SO much more. The big takeaway is that you have a choice! Even though you don’t get to choose how your nervous system is wired, you can eventually shift how you respond to situations and regulate your own system — which is so empowering!    “We don’t get to choose our survival response.” - Deb Dana   “We want to stretch our nervous system but not stress our nervous system.” - Deb Dana   Resources Deb Dana https://https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/ The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/ref=nodl_    The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

I truly can’t believe we’re here ⁠— the 200th episode of The Adult Chair podcast and over 2 million downloads! This started out as an experiment to help my clients, and I’m BLOWN AWAY by what it has become. I couldn’t be more thankful to you for listening and inviting me into your life each week. I’m thrilled and humbled to have helped in a small way on your journey toward your most authentic self. For our 200th episode, I wanted to share a bit more about The Adult Chair ⁠— the backstory behind how it came about, what it is and how you can use it every day in your life. I realize many of you might not know where this model comes from or the dozens of methods it includes, so today, you’ll discover a little bit more about all of the simple psychology and grounded spirituality that is part of The Adult Chair. I’m also sharing a brand new six-step process from The Adult Chair that will help you transform ANY situation life throws your way. Here is each step I talk about in the episode for reference: What happened? The story I made up is: What Chair am I in?    This makes me feel: From my Adult Chair, here is what’s true: What I’m going to do next is:   This episode will also give you a crash course in what the model is and how it works, so if you’re brand new or want to share this podcast with a friend, this is a great place to start! Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being part of this community. The Adult Chair is so much more than a podcast. It’s a movement of healing and transformation that now includes workshops and events, a membership community, our brand new coaching certification and training program and tons of free resources for your journey. There are so many more exciting things coming, and I can’t wait for 200 more episodes with you!   Resources Inner Child Resource https://courses.theadultchair.com/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

Everybody wants to be happy, and most of us want a partner to share our happiness and lives with. But finding that partner? Easier said than done. Dating can be exhilarating, confusing, fun, exhausting and all the things. Experiencing connection with another person is deeply meaningful and also incredibly complex — especially when we bring our own pasts, traumas and expectations into the early stages of a relationship. How do we know if a relationship is meant to be forever or for a season in our lives — or not at all? How do we date in a healthy way? Most of us date (and live) from our Adolescent Chair with all its fears, desires and past hurts. Add in emotions and physical attraction, and our adolescent self is running the show! But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can experience fulfilling dating relationships (even with someone who isn’t ultimately “the one”) when you date from your Adult Chair. And if you’re looking for a long-term partner, you absolutely need to be choosing from your most authentic, healthiest self!   In today’s episode, we’re talking all about how to date from your Adult Chair, including: How to know if you are picking the right partner Control issues in dating Divorce and dating Love addiction and love avoidance How to know if it’s love or lust How to let go and go with it (from a centered place) Staying connected to yourself while falling for someone else   I had such a great conversation with my friend, Jackie, as part of today’s episode, and I know you will love hearing her questions and learning from her experiences. Whether you’re looking for the one, just getting into the dating game, trying to guide your actual adolescent children through their first relationship or just curious about relationships from an Adult Chair perspective, you will love this episode!   “If you’re in doubt, you’ve got to slow down and get clear on where you are. We need to enter into any relationship from a place of balance.”   “When you feel yourself disconnect from you and you’re not picking up on the red flags, that’s a problem.”   Resources The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Fear creeps in and out of our lives all the time. It's just a human emotion, but it's a sneaky one. It starts small, then all of the sudden, we're overtaken by it until it becomes paralyzing. A little bit of fear can quickly turn into a lot of fear. A few weeks ago, I shared a story with you about some anxiety I was experiencing and a six-step process to move from panic to peace quickly (check out episode #195 to discover this process). While this process is incredibly effective, I found that I still had some fear creeping up, despite being able to calm my feelings of anxiety. I began to get curious about this fear and figure out why it was coming into my life. Fear is often a future-focused emotion. It is based on unknowns, which trigger the Adolescent and throw us into stories and assumptions. When we find ourselves afraid, many people advise us to step back and "trust the process" — which is true, but much easier said than done! Before we can trust, we must find the part that is able to trust and connect with that part. In this show, I am sharing the secret I discovered to identify the source of fear and transform it before it triggers the ego. There is a part of us where both fear and trust live, and when we tap into it, it transforms fear — almost instantly!   You'll discover: Where your fear originates How to stop stories and assumptions before they start (before we even slide into the Adolescent) How to discover the source of your emotions How to stop fear in its tracks and find deeper peace Practical tips for doing inner child work (one of the most powerful processes for healing) By the way, if you liked the six-step process in episode #195, the tips I share in today’s episode make for a great “Step 7” that can be added on to that process — in just one minute or less!   Resources The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/ https://courses.theadultchair.com/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ From Anxiety & Panic to Peace Podcast https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/195   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

The other day I heard from someone who was having a bad day. She asked if this meant she had lost her self-love and how she could know she had enough self-love. That conversation made me realize how little we know about self-love, and it inspired me to do this show.  Like any relationship, our relationship with ourselves has its ups and downs and its good and bad days. Just because we don’t “feel the love” in every moment doesn’t mean it's not there! All great love grows over time and goes so much deeper than our feelings. Those bad days can be temporary, but once it builds, our self-love stays with us. So, in today’s episode, I’m telling you all about how you can know and grow self-love. I go down memory lane a bit and share my story of going from self-loathing, negative self-talk, low self-esteem and even suicidal thoughts to learning to love myself. Then I share how you can do the same!   Listen to discover: How I found self-love (and how The Adult Chair model can help you find it too!) How to change negative self-image into self-compassion Signs that you love yourself 5 practical ways to know and grow self-love   We must become the director of our lives and not rely on others to boost us up. It’s always nice to receive a compliment or a kind word, but when we learn to be our own cheerleaders, we can build our self-esteem and self-love no matter what our outside relationships look like. It's a total game changer!    Resources Bombas https://bombas.com/ADULT 20% off your first purchase   The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

We all know the word “narcissism.” We can usually spot a narcissist a mile away. They are loud, want all the attention and can be obnoxious. This is known as overt narcissism. But can you spot a covert narcissist? They can be tricky, with a more "subtle" form of narcissism. It can sting just as badly, but you have no idea it's happening (at least not initially) because it's so subtle.  A covert narcissist still craves attention, but they are sneaky or subtle with how they get it. They look amazing on the outside, but behind closed doors, everything becomes your fault. You are made to feel crazy. They will blame and shame you to get their way. They look like they are socially connected, but in reality, they are inept at building deep relationships and letting anyone in emotionally. In the end, you wonder if you are the bad person in the relationship. It’s no wonder that relationships with this type of narcissist can be so confusing and damaging!    In today’s episode, I help you break down the disguises that covert narcissists wear. You’ll learn:   How narcissism develops Signs that you might be in a relationship with a narcissist Sneaky traits of a covert narcissist (and how to spot them!) What to do if you are in a relationship with someone who has these traits   Narcissism can wreak havoc in our lives — sometimes before we even realize it. That’s why it’s so important to know what to look for, spot covert narcissism and take care of yourself if you suspect you have a narcissist in your life.   “They want the world to be according to them. It’s their map of the world. The way they see the world is the only way. And if you don’t agree with the way they see the world, blaming and shaming happens.” “If it feels bad, it’s not love.”   Resources The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   The Adult Chair Podcasts  https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

What do you do when anxiety creeps up out of nowhere and sends you into a state of panic? Maybe it’s a stressful call or email, an overflowing to-do list or all of your worries being flung in your face at once, until it feels like fear is taking over your body.  You know the feeling: irrational thoughts, a racing heart, a mind that’s racing even faster and even symptoms like a headache or upset stomach. This happened to me the other day, and it felt like every part of my life was spinning out of control. The unknowns were sending me into a panic that just kept spiraling deeper. But this is why we have The Adult Chair! I was able to take this opportunity to lean in, get curious and use the tools in the “TAC toolbox” to return to a state of calm.  And in today’s episode, I’m going to give you the six tools I used to go from panic to peace — in just 20 minutes. Listen to discover:    How to stop the ego in its tracks and return to flow state How to slow down and stop the panic cycle Mindful tools that ground us when our thoughts are spinning Hands-on exercises to bring the nervous system back in balance Tips for busting stories and getting back to calm   Once we get into an anxious state, it will feed itself until we step in and stop it. You have everything you need in your healthy Adult — and this episode will show you exactly what to do to break out of panic and return to balance.   Resources Care/of http://takecareof.com/ Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

There is nothing worse than when we find ourselves caught in a bad mood. Whether we wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something triggers us and sends us into a funk, we all experience moments or even days where we feel a bit "down." Often, it can be difficult to identify where our mood has come from or why we feel this way. We might just know we feel bad, sad, lonely, anxious, depressed or emotionally "off." It can be hard to get back on track when we don't even know what's causing it!  Today, I'm offering you a simple, easy-to-use, three step process to help you discover what's going on inside and shake you out of your mood: a technique I call "Purge, Connect and Reach." You know I love methods that give you quick transformation, and this technique has been SO powerful for me and many of my clients.    This episode will show you how to: Get clear on and release your emotions Connect to true emotions and needs underneath your mood Find your fact and truth and shift your focus to the present Moods are part of being human, but you are in control of them! Purge, Connect and Reach will help you navigate that emotionally "off" feeling the next time it strikes. Resources Inner Child Free Guide https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/    The Adult Chair Workshop Charlotte  January 30-Feb1   https://theadultchair.com/events/    The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/    Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/  The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/    *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

We can never talk enough about boundaries! They are so important for loving ourselves, living empowered and creating healthy relationships, but most of us never saw healthy boundaries modeled and struggle with setting them. That's why I'm SO excited to have the amazing boundary and relationship expert, Nedra Glover Tawwab, on this week's show! In this episode, we have a great conversation about boundaries in all kinds of relationships, whether it be your mother, father, sibling, your teen, your spouse (or ex-spouse), boss or friend. Nedra and I discuss what we need to learn and do to set clear boundaries, and she explains how necessary it is for our mental health to express and communicate our needs. Our conversation covers SO much ground, including: What a boundary is and what it looks and sounds like How to honor your own boundaries and not give in when you get pushback What to do when the person you set a boundary with gets mad Navigating guilt when setting boundaries How boundaries can reduce anxiety and boost your overall mental health Answers to your top questions about boundaries It's so important to take care of ourselves and have "self" boundaries, which may not involve anyone but us. These can be the most important of all! I think you are really going to enjoy this show. It's filled with great tips on how to get started with setting your boundaries today.    Resources The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership    Stay Connected Nedra Instagram: @nedratawwab Website: https://NedraTawwab.com   Michelle Instagram: @michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantfanPage/  The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair 

I have heard from so many of you that wanted more information on Sex Addiction so I decided to have my friend and sex addiction specialist Abbe Barclay on. Abbe is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Abbe is a wealth of information and didn't hold back on today's show. We discussed how sex addiction develops, porn addiction, masturbation, if recovery is possible for sex addicts and if so, what the recovery is as well as how you can best support a sex addict and so much more. This show is filled with valuable information all about sex addiction and one not to be missed if you or someone you love suffers with this addiction.   https://www.abbebarclaycounseling.com/  https://theadultchair.com/events  The Adult Chair Charlotte  Jan 30-Feb 1   Connect with Michelle: https://theadultchair.com/membership/ https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ2buoRyaYIjuBugJqwKzDw https://www.pinterest.co.uk/michellechalfanttheadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Happy New Year! I thought long and hard about this kick off show and know how so many of us strive for big change in the New Year but in my experience, small changes lead to big impact. In December I fell upon a book (it actually felt like it jumped off the shelf to me), :) that I have read several times. It's a classic book that you might have read as it came out in 1997. The book is: The 4 Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. I leafed through the book again and a light bulb moment happened. These agreements are key concepts in The Adult Chair AND provide HUGE shifts when applied consistently. So I thought to myself..."THIS is what people need to apply for transformation". The 4 agreements are essential for anyone's transformation so today I am reviewing what they are and how you can start applying them TODAY and experience immediate change in your own life.   https://theadultchair.com/events  The Adult Chair Charlotte-January 30 -Feb 1 https://theadultchair.com/membership  The Adult Chair Membership https://audibletrial.com/Theadultchair  The 4 Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom Don Miguel Ruiz   Connect with Michelle: https://theadultchair.com/membership/ https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ2buoRyaYIjuBugJqwKzDw https://www.pinterest.co.uk/michellechalfanttheadultchair/   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

We made it through the holidays! How are you feeling...Drained, relieved, elated? Now is the best time to "clean yourself off" and today and get yourself ready for the New Year. In today's show I explain a bit about how we can be dysfunctionally connected to others and don't even know it. I let you know how you can tell and exactly how you can "cut those cords". Even if we don't have a dysfunctional relationship, it's still important to keep yourself "clean" energetically and to cut the cords with people we know and love so each time we show up with them, they see us as who we are TODAY and not as they knew us from the past. Today at the end of the show, I offer you a guided meditation that walks you through exactly how to keep yourself "cleaned off" and to cut the cords if necessary. This is a wonderful end of year ceremony but can certainly be done year round.   The Adult Chair Event-Charlotte https://theadultchair.com/events  The Adult Chair-website https://theadultchair.com 

In a word, victim energy is just plain yucky. We fall into victim when we least expect it and "think" it feels good. We feel like we deserve to feel this way, we have been wronged for goodness sake...and then we wake up. In today's show I share with you a personal experience I had, where I feel into that victim energy, not once but twice! It felt deserving and great until I woke up to truth, to what was real. It was a wonderful experience as it taught me a lot about victim energy and how sneaky it can be. I give you a few ideas on how to get out of the seat of the victim (located squarely in the Adolescent Chair), and most importantly, that we need to choose to be conscious and make choices that empower us and not disempower us. I hope you enjoy my story (aka-drama) that I fell into and get a good laugh. I now can laugh at myself as well and see the whole experience as a gift. This is an energy I feel very familiar with now and plan not to visit there anytime soon. :) The Adult Chair -Charlotte January 30-Feb 1st https://theadultchair.com/events  The Adult Chair Membership TAC Tribe https://theadultchair.com/membership

Today on the show we have Patti Elledge back again to talk about how we can heal our early developmental wounds, attachment wounds, trauma, abuse and more by working with the wisdom of the body. This is not a show about "body work," but instead a show about how we learn to feel our emotions, our felt sense and use our body as a navigation system for healing old wounding.  If we don't pay attention to our body, our old wounding lays stuck or dormant in the body. With increased awareness to the body you would be amazed at the healing that can happen.  Patti also speaks to us about the Polyvagel system of the body and how nervous system regulation (and getting out of fight/flight) is necessary for true healing.  Get ready for this show, it's packed with information for your own healing journey.  The Adult Chair workshop https://theadultchair.com/events  Somatic Mentoring Course https://Somanticmentoring.com  Patti Elledge podcast on Attachment theory https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/111-patti-elledge-teaches-us-how-to-heal-our-attachment-wounds/   

Ah the holidays, what a wonderful time of year. The rushing around the shopping the preparing of food the obligations to attend all the parties. It's a codependents nightmare! By the time the first week of January hits we are wiped out and in bed with fatigue from all the caretaking and controlling we did during the holidays. It can be exhausting for us codependents! In today's show, I give you tools and tips for staying "in your own lane" during the holidays and all year long. It's a mini codependents reference guide in today's show. I share with you all about the fatigue, anger, resentment, anxiety and even depression we can get if we are not "careful codependents". There is a way to make it through the holidays in a healthy way and today I give you numerous tips to do just that. From boundaries (and how to set them), dealing with narcissism, in laws, how to self soothe when we are triggered and how to stay connected to your Self (intentional capital S here). You see there is a big difference between our Self and self. Our "self" (small s) is the self that wears a mask to please everyone else. Our "Self" is the Self that knows who we are and strives to live authentically. Lots of information in today's show for you. Remember, life is a journey, an adventure. Don't cling to anything, to any labels (even codependency). See parts like codependency instead as indicators of what we need to give our attention to (temporarily), to keep ourselves healthy and to aid in our transformation. That's it! https://theadultchair.com/events    Charlotte, NC event   January 30-Feb 1

Happy Thanksgiving all! Today is the day that marks the official "mad dashing" around to get to the parties on time, buying the perfect gifts, lots of rushing here and there with lots of traffic and the common denominator...stress (and of course it's not all bad...we have some fun too).    What I hear so much about from people is yes a lot about this stressful time of year but even more about how they lose themselves and don't have time for themselves.  In today's episode I give you a few ideas on how to stay connected to yourself and stay grounded despite the holiday craziness. I also give you a wonderful 5 minute meditation that you could (I am having a hard time not saying should here), :) do daily to help you get through the next month. If you are even thinking to yourself, "I don't have 5 minutes"! Then you need to do a 10 minute meditation! We all can build in 5 minutes a day for ourselves and our sanity. This meditation helps with just that.  I wish you all a beautiful and safe Thanksgiving!  Much love, Michelle https://youtu.be/cFeCUfw657g  This is the You Tube link for the 5 minute self love meditation.  https://theadultchair.com/events  Charlotte, NC event   January 30-Feb 1

Childhood sexual abuse creeps into the lives of innocent children on a daily basis. As children, we are defenseless to our abusers. Dr. Gregory Williams was one of those children.  On today's show, we have Dr. Gregory Williams on sharing his story of childhood sexual abuse, how to heal from abuse, what the signs are of childhood sexual abuse and lastly forgiveness.  We also spoke about the importance of getting ourselves healthy after abuse and how physical illness can stem from unhealed emotional wounds, trauma and abuse.  This is an incredible show and it's an honor to have Dr. Gregory on the show being so honest and open about his experience, and now sharing with the world how others can heal from a childhood filled with abuse.    https://theadultchair.com/membership   Promo code: BIRTHDAY The Adult Chair Membership  (Free for month of November)! https://theadultchair.com/events  The Adult Chair Charlotte Event   Jan 30-Feb 1 Dr. Gregory Book: Shattered by the Darkness: Putting the pieces back together after child abuse.  Website: https://Shatteredbythedarkenss.com  Dr. Gregory email: gawilli1@texaschildrens.org Dr. Gregory phone: 832-396-6525 ACE's https://acesconnection.com 

I am so excited about this show. On today's show I interviewed a client and she was able to find her truth, step into her power and learn how to set boundaries-all in one show!  This is a client from our membership group that wes interested in learning how to be free from the stress of pleasing her parents and standing up for herself. Our monthly theme in the membership is "I'm Free" and she wanted further help on how to apply it to her situation.  It was an amazing session and she had such breakthroughs. You will be able to hear it in her voice! She even said at one point, "I feel so powerful-I can feel it!"  Such a great show and I was thrilled that by the end, she was able to grow herself a very nice Adult Chair and speak from this place. :)  https://theadultchair.com/membership    Promo Code: BIRTHDAY Free month of membership https://theadultchair.com/30days      30 Day Journaling Challenge https://Takecareof.com    Promo Code: ADULT50 50% off your first Care/Of order

On today's show we have one of my favorite people and therapists, on the show-Karen Gelstein. Karen helped us to understand our defenses and how to heal them and change how we react with others.  She shares with us how humor, ruminating thoughts, missing red flags, codependency and even addictions are all ways that we defend ourselves to stay safe.  We delved into the inner child and how the inner child becomes wounded and the defenses are created.  Lastly, she helps us to identify our defenses and gives us the tools we need to heal, so that we can regain emotional balance and reconnect with ourselves and others in a healthy way.  As always, Karen delivers a wealth of information for us to help with our own inner transformation.    One Free month to the membership https://theadultchair.com/membership Promo code: Birthday Karen Gelstein contact info: karengelstein@gmail.com Karen Gelstein previous podcast: Love Addiction-Love Avoidant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/102-love-addiction-love-avoidant-with-karen-gelstein/ 

Happy Halloween! After so many questions coming in about The Adult Chair, I felt like it was time to do a show on this.  In today's episode I answer where the Adult Chair is and how to get it back if you've lost access to it. How to find your Adult if you never witnessed a healthy one growing up.  Lastly, I answer what the Adult Chair even is. It's a fun episode with examples and the key to gaining your own Adult's wisdom and living with it daily for your own transformation.  30 Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30Days 

Today on the show, relationship and attachment expert, Silvy Khoucasian and I have a conversation about attachment in relationships. We talk through all of the attachment styles and how to heal and find secure attachment regardless of your style.  We also talk about the importance of boundaries and how to set them as well as shame and trust in relationships and how to build this.  Regardless of your attachment style, you are going to find value in today's show and walk away with tools you can begin to use right away!  30 Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days  New website! https://theadultchair.com  Silvy Khoucasian on Instagram @SilvyKhoucasian Boundaries offering: https://bryanreves.com/boundaries-silvy/   

Wow and what a show this was - Jim Fortin is a genius! On today's show, Jim Fortin, Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was on with me and we discussed how to reprogram the subconscious mind.  He teaches us how to break habits, addictions anxiety and depression and why having a healthy self identity and image is vital to success.  If you are ready for transformation, buckle up and listen to this show. It's a show not to be missed.  Website and Podcast http://jimfortin.com  New Website! http://theadultchair.com  30 Day Journaling Challenge http://theadultchair.com/30days  Joseph Murphy - How to Change the Subconscious Mind

Relationships with narcissist are insidious. They begin one way and over time, very slowly and covertly, change and become poison.  We wake up one day and wonder what we did wrong and how we got here. We blame ourselves and can even feel embarrassed to tell others.  In today's very vulnerable show. Tracy shares her story of narcissism. She married a wonderful man and within a 2 year period, her life had drastically changed and she couldn't understand what was happening and began doubting herself. She fell into a depression and lived with anxiety and had lost her self, in 2 short years.  Tracy walks us through her story and in the end we offer advice for those that are also in these types of relationships and what you can do about it to begin to build yourself up and find your (true) self again.  Website https://theadultchair.com/the-adult-chair-podcast  30 Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days  Membership site https://theadultchair.com/membership  5 Minute Self Love Meditation https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/  Podcasts: 84-Raising Self Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/  173 Am I in a Toxic Relationship https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/ 174 Building Self Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/ 

Are you ready to shift out of procrastination, perfectionism and people pleasing? (I can't imagine anyone that doesn't have their hand up).  Well today's show we are diving into The Adult Chair model and looking deeper at our "parts".  Our inner unconscious parts are running the show until we bring them into awareness to transform.  Today I am going to show you how to use this model and transform your inner parts that are driving you to do things or act in ways that are limiting you.  As always, I have included easy to use steps for you to work with this concept today and begin your transformation right away.  Get ready for shifts with today's episode! The Adult Chair website: http://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair events: http://theadultchair.com/events  Care/Of - For 25% off your first Care/Of order go to: https://TakeCareOf.com  Promo code: ADULT

What a show! Today's show with special guest - Marriage and Family therapist, Meghan Crough was as empowering as it was inspirational.  Meg answered so many important questions about raising kids. We talked about so many things including temper tantrums or angry kids, how to discipline effectively, boundaries versus control, what to do if you have a spouse or co-parent with different values and ideas about parenting and most importantly how to raise empowered, successful kids.  It is a show not to be missed if you are wanting to learn more about parenting successfully. Meg clearly knows her stuff and explained clearly how to raise authentic and healthy kids.  http://TakeCareOf.com      promo code ADULT http://MeghanCrough.com 

This show was incredible! Ramona Reid, Enneagram coach and I had a fascinating conversation about how our childhood wounding affects us later on in life and creates the masks that we wear to cover up our wounding. Ramona does a beautiful job of blending the Enneagram into The Adult Chair and teaches us how to live from our essence (otherwise known as our Adult Chair), regardless of our wounding.  She goes over each enneagram type with us and explains how each type has a specific wounding and mask that we wear.  This show as as cool as it was informative! Even if you have never heard of the Enneagram, you will benefit from listening as it will deepen your understandings of your wounding and how you are showing up in the world.  If you want to listen to the previous two shows that Ramona has been on to deepen your understanding of the Enneagram, see the show notes below. They are all brilliant shows! Resources: http://www.mynashvillecenter.com  http://www.holisticrevolution.com    Previous podcasts with Ramona: Podcast #51: Find your authentic self in the heart of your Enneagram https://theadultchair.com/podcast/51  Podcast #114: Deepening The Adult Chair using the Wisdom of the Enneagram https://theadultchair.com/podcast/114  Recommended Book: Sacred Enneagram by Chris Heuertz

Why do people cringe at the suggestion of setting a boundary? So many people respond with, "I don't like confrontation", when I suggest a boundary. Setting boundaries is tough to do if we were not modeled healthy boundaries growing up. Even if we came from a pretty healthy family, few people grew up with healthy boundary modeling.  In today's show I talk about what boundaries are, how to set them, examples of healthy versus unhealthy boundaries and the four key steps and "how to's",  to setting healthy boundaries.  I also discuss what to do when boundaries "backfire" and we are met with upsetness or anger from another at our simple request.  I end with a few take aways of what boundaries are and are not and what to do if you are in a toxic or even abusive relationship.  Boundaries are a necessary part of our lives and a key to healthy relationships. This show is filled with great tools and tips to help you to start better taking care of yourself and learning how to set a simple request and teaching other people how to treat you.  The Adult Chair San Antonio https://theadultchair.com/san-antonio  The Adult Chair Membership (September Theme-I Matter) https://theadultchair.com/membership  Boundaries and Defenses https://theadultchair.com/podcast/160  Boundaries versus Confrontation https://theadultchair.com/podcast/26  How do I feel my Emotions https://theadultchair.com/podcast/80 

We can never have enough self esteem! So many of us didn't have healthy self esteem role models growing up so we are embarking on this journey now. Here's the good news, it's never too late! With the help of The Adult Chair model we can live our lives to the fullest and create happiness when we thought it wasn't possible. Healthy self esteem from The Adult Chair is not only possible, it's happens quickly with these easy to apply 4 steps.  Enjoy your journey building up your new sense of self and empowerment in your Adult Chair.  https://theadultchair.com/events  The Adult Chair 3 day event in San Antonio, Texas October 24-26 https://theadultchair.com/membership  The Adult Chair Membership https://GreenChef.com/ADULT75      Enjoy $75 off your first 3 boxes with $25 off each box Podcast on Parts Work: Transform your Parts and Find Self Love https://theadultchair.com/podcast/150 

Am I in a toxic relationship? I unfortunately get asked this question all too often. I find that what feels "normal" is actually toxic but due to low self esteem or loss of self, we find ourselves living in not so healthy or even unhealthy, toxic relationships.  In today's show I go over 6 signs of toxic relationships. I explain what to look for in toxic relationships and how to know if you are in one.  I also offer next steps to heal and transform yourself out of the toxic relationship.  https://theadultchair.com/events  The Adult Chair San Antonio October 24-26

  What would you think if I told you that joy could be part of codependency? Well it can! Codependency and I have been friends for too many years to count (most of my life). However, in my discovery of this, I have found joy in learning who I am as an Adult and taking my childhood back. I might even say that I find it now as a gift as I now get to discover who I am and it's an exciting journey to take as an Adult. I feel my inner child come through me with excitement and wonder with all of the new thoughts, ideas and plans "we" have for my future. The journey can be an exciting one when we shift our idea about codependency and step out of victim mode. Just because we grew up codependent or are experiencing it now doesn't mean our lives are over! It means our lives can begin and the time is now to experience the joy that comes with this self-discovery process. Free Inner Child download: https://theadultchair.com/innerchild  The Adult Chair event-San Antonio: https://theadultchair.com/events    October 24-26 Previous podcasts on Codependency: Codependency-I'm ok if you are ok. - https://theadultchair.com/podcast/11  Ending Codependency in Relationships - https://theadultchair.com/podcast/70  Codependency: Ending the Addiction to "Help" others - https://theadultchair.com/podcast/127 

I'm back from my summer break! Welcome to the first show of our new podcast year. I am so excited about our guest today.    I have spoken for months about Myofascial Release Technique and am finally having our in house expert on the show! Diana Schneider, Advanced Myofacial Release Therapist is on today talking all about what the technique is and how it can help you.    This technique has been a beautiful complement for my own clients as well as part of my bi-weekly self care. It's a wonderful way to release emotions, take the body out of fight or flight, help the body to "calm down" from anxiety and relax and so much more.    It's also wonderful for people with locked muscles, physical pain, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.    Myofascial Release is a technique that releases emotions out of the fascia, the film that resides over the muscles, which creates a relaxed state in the body and mind.   Diana and I talk all about how it works and who it can help (all of us). :)  I can't wait for you to hear this show!   To schedule with Diana Schneider:  Diana.LMT@yahoo.com  (Nashville)   Garth Withcomb: ‭(615) 403-9771‬  (Nashville)   https://www.myofascialrelease.com/  (Main website to find a therapist near you).    Healing Ancient Wounds by John Barnes   https://theadultchair.com/events The Adult Chair San Antonio  October 24-26 $100 off 

This is the last show replay for the summer. It's a wonderful show where I work with a client on breaking her negative patterns. There is a lot to be learned from this show. The only way you’re going to heal is to own your life. That’s the overriding message of the show today and it comes thanks to the story of a fabulous client we’ll call “Carolyn.” She’s graciously offered her story for this week’s show as a demonstration of owning your own stuff, and making great strides in breaking the damaging patterns and programs that play over and over in our lives. Thanks to her work with the Chairs, she’s found grounding and hope in moving forward through relationship addiction and more. https://TakeCareOf.com  Promo code: Adult For 25% off your first Care/Of order.  

Yuck...Shame! Who wants to look at or feel their shame? I realize that so many of us avoid our shame because we don't know what to do with it! What if I told you, I could give you tools to help heal and transform your shame?  Well today is your lucky day as I am giving you steps to work with, get to know and transform your shame. I also recorded a guided meditation to go with this podcast in order to help you work with and release shame specifically whenever it comes up.  So get ready to shift and regain your power today!  Your shame is transforming and you won't be the same after working with it in this way.  https://theadultchair.com  https://theadultchair.com/meditations    A guided meditation and exercise for releasing shame.  Green Chef   https://Greenchef.us/Adult75  $75 off-$25 off your first 3 boxes

We are made up of many parts that create our whole. We can't help but have parts like the doubter, blamer, the "I am a fraud" part etc. We all have parts that we don't like (or even hate) but we don't know what to do with them....until today. Today, I share with you what we do with these parts that you don't like. I offer you a 7 step process on how you can transform these inner parts and find freedom and yes, grow to love yourself. Care of: https://Takecareof.com  Promo code: adult 25% off your first order https://theadultchair.com  https://theadultchair.com/events  For upcoming events with The Adult Chair @michelle.chalfant (Instagram) Michelle Chalfant (FB Fan page)

Today's show is a follow up to Healthy Relationships Part 1. This show has even more examples on how to create healthy relationships as well as how we can transform our current relationship, especially if the other person is being difficult.    I give you new tools and ideas for transformation of any relationship. Another show with lots of information and ideas that you can begin to implement today!      Links & Notes:   The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com/    Calling In The One with Katherine Woodward Thomas 10 Minute Meditation for Creating your Hearts Desire - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiUB3VX7z2Q 

Today I share with you how we create Healthy Relationships from The Adult Chair. Unfortunately, so many of us aren’t taught how to have healthy relationships. In fact, most of us enter into relationships with a lot of baggage which can activate our triggers, and leave us feeling helpless and not sure what to do to help or improve our relationship. In today’s show I offer tools and tips on how we can create and/or improve our relationships. A big part of healthy relationships is being able to communicate effectively, which again so many of us are unsure how to do. Today’s tools can be applied to any relationship, not only romantic ones. I hope you find hope, clarity and empowerment after listening to today’s show as now you too can begin to create new stronger connections in your own life and with others. https://theadultchair.com/events     The Adult Chair events: San Antonio, TX October 25-28

Feeling drained or fatigued? Maybe you pick up on other people’s emotions and can feel what they are feeling? This “phenomena” is not random, these are qualities of an empath.    Many of us are walking around with anxiety, depression, aches and pains and are not aware that these too are common "issues" empaths can have. This was how I spent the first half of my life, until I learned about empaths and how to set better boundaries for myself.    When we understand the qualities of being an empath, we can get healthy and live in the world with greater peace and better health. In today’s show, Sarah Weiss shares incredible information about being an empath as well as the blessings and difficulties that come along with it. It was an awesome conversation, jam-packed with invaluable information.   https://theadultchair.com/events     The Adult Chair events: San Antonio, TX October 25-28   Sarah Weiss website https://spirithealonline.com     Episode 21: Grounding and the Energy of the Earth with Sarah Weiss https://theadultchair.com/podcast/21   

Ouch! Did someone call you a control freak?! I get it...been there with that label. We think that we are getting so much done, life feels like it's in order and things are just, "better" because of how we see and operate in the world. It's just "who we are." I had to sit with that one when someone told me years ago that I was a control freak. I contemplated..."It isn't who I am?" "Who would I be without my control?" Well it scared the crap out of me frankly. After examining my own control and working with clients for years on this "issue" I can thankfully say that I am on the other side of it but still very aware of it and recognize when it tries to sneak into my life under the radar. I realize that without it, I felt stripped away of my very identity. So I had to learn who I was without it. It was a painful ego transformation as it was such a part of who I was! In today's show, I give you 6 "control busting truths" to help you too to loosen the grip of your inner control freak. As scary as it was for me to face this inner part, I can honestly say my life is much easier without this part running my life. I know that when you begin to loosen the grip of yours and experience another way, life changes for the better and you will find much more peace in your life and something new may emerge...trust! Podcast: Harness your Powerful Flow State #120 Song: Janet Jackson Control The Adult Chair Membership Green Chef $25 off your first 3 boxes for a total of $75 off! https://Greenchef.us/ADULT75 

How do you feel about anger? What do you do with your anger? Do you shove it down and override it with being "nice" so you "don't rock the boat"?  Many of us grew up with unhealthy anger modeling. Maybe you had a narcissistic and angry parent in the home. Perhaps when you had anger in your home, you were told it was unacceptable or even bad.  Whatever the case may be, anger is a healthy and much needed emotion. Anger fuels our power and can help us to make decisions and take steps forward in our lives. It's a powerful emotion, when expressed from our Adult Chair.  In today's show, I give you two client examples of how their lives were able to change and transform when they allowed themselves to feel anger.  Get excited, you are about to hear about all the benefits of anger and how to unlock and express yours.  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership  michelle@michellechalfant.com Please send an email here and ask to have your name added to The Adult Chair certification email list.  Podcasts: The Magic of Being  #155 What do I do with my Anger? #91 Sponsor: Ned https://helloned.com/adult   Promo code: Adult 15% off plus free shipping

Today I had the pleasure of having a conversation with Suzy, someone that has had a life of enmeshment, codependency, abusive, attempted murder by her husband and more. She now lives with greater peace and balance than ever before and she says a large part of her transformation is due to The Adult Chair. Her story is as unbelievable as it is inspirational. Grab your Kleenex when listening to this one and be prepared to view your own life through a different lens by the end of the show. So grateful for her vulnerability and honesty and her willingness to share her story with all of us. Sponsor: Ned https://helloned.com/adult  Promo code: Adult 15% off plus free shipping

After so many requests to talk about jealousy, here it is! A podcast that covers all things jealousy. What it is, what it isn't and 8 ideas to help you to find balance around jealousy. In today's show I cover how important it is to raise our awareness around jealousy, how to stay out of story and assumptions and change your state if you are stuck. I also share client examples of jealousy and how to move beyond it when you feel stuck in jealousy. Lastly, I discuss control versus jealousy, trust with jealousy and how to know when a relationship may be over. It's a packed show all about jealousy! https://theadultchair.com/membership  https://TakeCareof.com promo code Adult for 25% off   Episodes I mentioned: Podcast #27 Who are you? Self Validation and Promotion Podcast #154 Shatter Limiting Beliefs and Filters to Change your Life Podcast #111 Patti Elledge teaches us how to heal our Attachment Wounds Podcast #98 Transforming Triggers Podcast #133 Ending Triggers

When setting a boundary, often times the person we are talking to gets triggered and falls into a defense then everything goes south. What do we do when this happens? In today's show, I talk with you about how we can "dismantle others defenses" and "diffuse triggers from others." It's an empowering show with lots of tips on setting healthy boundaries and what to do when the other gets triggers by our boundaries. https://takecareof.com Adult30 30% off first order   The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership   The Adult Chair podcast episodes: 146-Healthy Relationships 148-Healthy Relationships Part 2 134-Repairing Relationships with Kids or Anyone 121-When Relationships End  

Abuse can be tricky, it can be subtle and ease into our lives. We can be living with it and might not even be aware of it. Abuse comes in many forms and not just the obvious physical abuse. Codependency, narcissism, control, trauma, enmeshment, addictions etc. can all play into this dance of abuse. On today's show, Christine Gutierrez and I have a vulnerable and open discussion about abuse. Christine offers some incredible examples and tools on how to recognize if you are being abused, what you can do about it and the changes that can be made to empower yourself right now. https://christineg.tv/ @Cosmicchristine (Instagram) https://fiercelovenow.com (Website) Ned: https://helloned.com/adult Promo: Adult https://theadultchair.com/membership

When most of us here the word PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), we think of someone that has come out of the military. While this can be very true for our military personnel, PTSD affects many others and they may not even know.    So many suffer from chronic anxiety, depression, insomnia and more and are unaware that the root issue could be PTSD. This is exactly what happened with me.    In today's show I go through symptoms of PTSD and offer stories and examples of how this may be showing up in your life. Lastly, I offer techniques and strategies for change.    Ned: https://Helloned.com/Adult   Promo code: Adult   https://theadultchair.com/membership   EMDR and/or Brainspotting Hakomi Bioenergetics NST-Neurostructural Integration   Annie Waugh Boerner   annieboerner.com Myofacial-with a John Barnes trained practitioner

On today’s show I have Natalia Juarez discussing how to have better breakups. Listen to this episode to learn the role attachment issues, love addiction and love avoidance play into our breakups. Learn when it is time to end a relationship AND MOVE ON. Discover how we are the point of our attraction and WHAT TO LOOK FOR within ourselves when we keep attracting “bad” relationships. So many great topics to discuss with an expert on all things dating, breaking up and recovery. Thank you Natalia Juarez.   https://Betterbreakups.com  (Website)  The Breakup Coach (Instagram) Untangled (Book)   https://Helloned.com/Adult      Patti Elledge podcast #111 Attachment podcast https://theadultchair.com/podcast/111   https://theadultchair.com/membership 

I get asked this question all the time, "What do I work on next?" "I realize I have so many things to work on and don't know where to begin!"    In today's show I offer ideas on what to work on next, what direction to take while on your path of healing, and how to stay in the flow while doing it.    Whether it be codependency, anxiety, relationship problems, working with self-esteem or any healing goal you have,  there is a way to do this from your Adult Chair and today I share with you just how to do that.    https://theadultchair.com/membership   https://Mymyro.com/adult

So many of us live life from The Adolescent Chair. We rush and busy ourselves to the point of exhaustion. We stress ourselves out and wind up living with anxiety, depression and other ailments. We lack presence and feel like if we keep doing we will find our answers and that maybe when we get enough done, our problems will go away, our pain will be erased, and our stress will be gone. What if finding relief was easier than you imagined? There is magic in being that can change your life. When we are able to just "be," we can find our true Self - the self with a capital S. When we can connect into this part, our truest essence, our problems can transform, we gain clarity that we could't find before, our "to-do" list shortens, and magic happens. In today's show, I share with you the difference between meditation and being, tools to enter and live in this state, and the power we find with being. It is truly magical, and you can transform your life when you learn how. For this is where we find our Adult Chair, which is the truest version of ourselves. https://theadultchair.com/workshop  https://theadultchair.com/membership  Sponsor: Ned https://helloned.com/Adult 

Do you ever feel stuck in life? Like you can't catch a break with some people and you keep getting the short end of the stick? Have you ever thought that you are missing something and that you actually have limiting beliefs or filters that are causing you to keep attracting in bad jobs, unsuccessful relationships, unhealthy friendships, not enough money etc.? Limiting beliefs and filters can keep us stuck, disempowered and make us feel small, like a victim and even send us down the path of anxiety and depression. In today's show I give you a couple good examples what limiting beliefs are and how they block us from happiness and success. Most of us are unconscious of our limiting beliefs and filters yet they are ruling our lives! It's time to make them conscious. Today I offer you ways to find your own limiting beliefs and filters that keep you stuck and how to shatter them, and create a feeling of empowerment and freedom in your life. https://theadultchair.com/workshop  https://theadultchair.com/membership 

On today's show I spoke with Certified Eating Psychology Coach, Jessi Jean all about binge eating, emotional eating and more. Jessi shared with us her own journey and offered some tips on what you can do right now if you feel out of control with food. So many of us struggle with food and Jessi's teachings and masterclass have helped thousands around the globe with eating/food issues and food addiction. Instagram: @Jessijeannn Facebook: JessiJeannn https://www.conquerbingeeating.com/FFM (Food Freedom Masterclass). https://theadultchair.com/workshop  https://theadultchair.com/membership  https://Greenchef.us/adult 

I am thrilled to have on the show today, relationship experts and the creators of Imago Relationship Theory and Therapy, Harville Hendrix, Ph.D and Helen Hunt Ph.D! We covered a range of topics from why we fall in love, to how childhood wounding affects our current relationships to what we do if our partner isn't interested in improving the relationship and so much more. It was a delight to have them on the show and know you won't want to miss this one. It's full of life changing and usable information that you can begin to apply right away. Enjoy! https://www.harvilleandhelen.com   Newest Book: Getting the Love You Want Sponsor: https://Takecareof.com  Promo code: ADULT50 Upcoming workshop: The Adult Chair Nashville May 4 and 5, 2019 https://theadultchair.com/workshop 

When we are triggered, we lose ourselves so quickly and fall into a defense. Oftentimes we regret our reaction later on. In today's show, Michelle gives some tips to help us stay in our Adult Chair when we are triggered and remain present with whatever is coming up.    Triggers can be such a gift when we understand that they are windows into our unconscious beliefs. It's a way to gain a deeper understanding about ourself!    https://theadultchair.com    Podcast #98: Transforming Triggers: https://theadultchair.com/podcast/98   Podcast #133 Ending Triggers: https://theadultchair.com/podcast/133   Takecareof.com: http://takecareof.com/ Promo code: ADULT

It can be hard to live with self-love when we have loud inner negative parts. In today's show, Michelle discusses steps to transform these inner parts from the Adolescent Chair. Once these parts are transformed, we are able to live with greater self-love and compassion. https://theadultchair.com  https://Molekule.com  promo code: adult

We all have many inner voices but there is one in particular, that can be overly critical and hard on us, it's called the "inner critic." In today's show, I share with you what the inner critic is and how to transform that voice using some simple and easy to use tools. You will also receive some "homework" that will help build up your inner supportive voice to help you stay in your healthy adult even when the inner critic has something to say. The Adult Chair workshop May 4th and 5th in Nashville, TN https://theadultchair.com/workshop  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership 

After getting so many comments from the Healthy Relationships podcast #146 a couple weeks ago, I felt like I needed to do a follow up show and answer some of the questions and comments that came in. So today's show is a continuation of ideas and tools to help you to cultivate healthy relationships in your life.    https://theadultchair.com/workshop    https://theadultchair.com/membership    Healthy Relationships podcast Part 1 https://theadultchair.com/podcast/146    Katherine Woodward Thomas Calling in The One podcast https://theadultchair.com/podcast/145   10 Minute Meditation for Creating your Hearts Desire https://theadultchair.com/meditations

What if I told you that you can change your brain and become happier? How about going from a pessimist to an optimist? Well you can and it doesn't take long! On today's show, Dr. Rick Hanson shares with us how to "Hardwire Happiness" into our brains and teaches us with some very simple steps how to sustain that happiness. This was an incredible and powerful conversation with one of the worlds foremost authorities on the brain and happiness. You are going to love this show!   Rickhanson.net   theadultchair.com/membership

Today I share with you how we create Healthy Relationships from The Adult Chair. Unfortunately, so many of us aren't taught how to have healthy relationships. In fact, most of us enter into relationships with a lot of baggage which can activate our triggers, and leave us feeling helpless and not sure what to do to help or improve our relationship.  In today's show I offer tools and tips on how we can create and/or improve our relationships. A big part of healthy relationships is being able to communicate effectively, which again so many of us are unsure how to do. Today's tools can be applied to any relationship, not only romantic ones. I hope you find hope, clarity and empowerment after listening to today's show as  now you too can begin to create new stronger connections in your own life with others.  xo Michelle   The Adult Chair Membership - https://theadultchair.com/membership    https://theadultchair.com/podcast/98   Instagram: @michelle.chalfant

Happy Valentines Day!    Today's show is all about love and finding "the one" and/or improving your current relationship.  So whether you are in a relationship or not, you will benefit from this show! Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Calling in the One and Conscious Uncoupling shares with us today some beautiful ideas on how we get ourselves healthy to then create the relationship we have been longing for.    Katherine Woodward Thomas https://katherinewoodwardthomas.com/ Calling in The One free starter kit Conscious Uncoupling Love out Loud Daily   Conscious Uncoupling podcast #124 https://theadultchair.com/podcast/124   The Adult Chair Membership  https://theadultchair.com/membership

Dr. Debi Silber from the PBT institute (Post Betrayal Institute) and I had a great conversation on the transformation of betrayal. She has done studies on betrayal and has a proven method for transformation. We discussed how betrayal can affect us physically and emotionally and we may not even know it! Debi shared with us the stages of transformation and how you too can heal and repair the damage from a betrayal.    PBTinstitute.com PBTinstitute.com/quiz   Book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis   The Unshakable Woman-The Workbook (the companion guide to the book)   @Debisilber Instagram   Theadultchair.com @michelle.chalfant  Instagram

Wow, wow, wow what a conversation I had with Dr. Keesha Ewers! If you or someone you know struggle with an autoimmune disease or any illness, this is a show you will not want to miss. Dr. Keesha shared how she reversed her own autoimmune disease naturally and how any disease can be reversed. We touched on the microbiome and how it relates to health, the root of autoimmune and other diseases and how to get your body healthy again naturally by examining Dr. Keesha's "4 corners of the puzzle" to health. She is a wealth of information and has some beautiful offerings for anyone ready to get healthy.    Drkeesha.com Instagram @drkeesha   theadultchair.com Closed FB group Instagram @michelle.chalfant

Shann Vander Leek from the Anxiety Slayer podcast joins me today for a wonderful conversation about anxiety. Shann offers us some fabulous tools and ideas on how to "slay" anxiety and live with greater peace and tranquility in your life. It was a great conversation on all things anxiety.    Anxiety Slayer Podcast: www.Anxietyslayer.com   TakeCareOf.com  Enter promo code Adult for 25% off your first order.

What if you could change your life doing just one thing? On today's show, Jay Papasan teaches us how to do just that. It sounds crazy but picking one thing and doing just that one thing until it becomes a habit is how we create change. This is a fabulous interview and Jay has come up with a simple yet brilliant idea on how to change lives. Resources: Book: The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results Jaypapasan.com @jaypapasan

In our 2019 kick off show I have special guest Terri Cole on and we explore the topic of love and boundaries. It was an awesome show and she gave us some incredible ideas about love, self love and setting boundaries. Definitely a show you won't want to miss!   Resources:      Terricole.com/TAC   Promo code: Real love live   10 day more love meditation experience Terricole.com @terricole Instagram Real Love Revolution  FB   Sponsor: TakeCareOf.com  Promo Code: ADULT   Audible Book: Deepak Chopra Creating Affluence the A to Z steps to a richer life  

As we think about how we can show up differently and make positive changes in our lives for 2019, we must also think about self worth. In today's show, I offer you a meditation to do just that, cultivate self worth. Without a feeling of worthiness it's difficult to make our lives happen. Enjoy the meditation! Download the meditation: http://traffic.libsyn.com/theadultchair/mc_meditation23.mp3

We look and look for ways to love ourselves but nothing seems to create lasting change. In today's show we look a little deeper at The Adult Chair model, and how it helps us to love ourselves. I also share a few other tools that we can use to take us on an inward transformational journey that results in self-love. Self Love Meditation to download

Ahh the holidays. Such a busy time of year and boy can they throw us in our Adolescent Chair. In today's show, I chat with you a bit about how the holidays can throw us into "story and assumption" which creates drama in our lives. How do we end drama? You guessed it...The Adult Chair! Enjoy the show and Happy Holidays all!

Giovanna was struggling with anxiety and depression and stumbled upon The Adult Chair podcast. Giovanna shares with us how her life changed in 6 short weeks by listening to the show and applying a few simple tools that she gained. She has reduced her anxiety, improved her relationship with her husband and kids and learned how to love herself.    Book: The Adult Chair: A Guide to Loving Yourself   https://tinyurl.com/y7mdg2uy   Podcasts:    How to become Conscious Parents  #34 https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/34?rq=%20parenting   Helping your Kids Cope with Anxiety  #123 https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/123?rq=sharon   Own your Reality  #128 https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/128?rq=own%20your%20reality  

Feeling drained or fatigued?  Maybe you pick up on other people's emotions and can feel what they are feeling? This "phenomena" is not random, these are qualities of an empath. When we understand the qualities of being an empath, we can get healthy and live in the world with greater peace and better health. In today's show, Sarah Weiss shares incredible information about being an empath as well as the blessings and difficulties that come along with it. It was an awesome conversation, jam packed with invaluable information.    Episode #21 Grounding and the Energy of the Earth with Sarah Weiss  https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/21?rq=Sarah%20weiss   Sarah Weiss website: www.SpiritHealOnline.com     Audible book: https://audibletrial.com/theadultchair  The Empath's Survival Guide  Dr. Judith Orloff    

In life, we sometimes hurt or damage relationships. The one's that we often regret the most are the one's that are with our kids or other loved ones. The question is, is it possible to repair these relationships and if so how? In today's show, I discuss with you how to live from your Adult Chair and mend broken relationships with people that we deeply care about.    Audible book: https://audibletrial.com/theadultchair   Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships Healing the Wound of the Heart By: John Welwood   Podcasts suggested in show:   Own your Reality #128  https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/128?rq=own%20your%20reality    The Power of acceptance  #131   https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/131?rq=acceptance      Charlotte workshops January 26 and 27, 2019   $100 off. https://www.theadultchair.com/workshop 

I have great news for you. Yes we can end our triggers! In this show I share with you what a trigger is and what to do with them to end being triggered. Hallelujah! I even go into one of my triggers and how I walked my way out of it and transformed it. I share with you lots of examples that will help you too to be able to transform and end triggers for good. Audible book: Debbie Ford The light side of the dark chasers https://audibletrial.com/theadultchair 

Trauma is such a heavy word and when we think about overcoming it, many of us feel defeated or that it could take a lifetime. In today's show we learn otherwise. Courtney Armstrong joins me in a discussion of trauma and offers tools that we can begin using today that can change our trauma, heal and transform it for good. This is not a show to be missed! Show notes: Courtneyarmstrong.net theadultchair.com/workshop Audible book The Body Keeps Score Bessel van der Kolk https://audibletrial.com/theadultchair

Many people think acceptance is weak or it's something we do when we are defeated. It's actually the opposite. There is great power in acceptance. It's a choice we make from a clear intentional place within. When we do this our drama or anger can be done and gone. In today's show I speak with you about accepting things we are not happy about, things we cannot change and how our lives can transform with acceptance. Audible: Tara Brach Radical Acceptance Show notes: - Transforming Triggers podcast #98 https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/98?rq=triggers - theadultchair.com/journal 30 day Journaling Challenge - theadultchair.com/workshop Charlotte, NC workshop Jan 26 & 27 - theadultchair.com go to podcast page and click the blue button to leave a 5 star review

After four years of this podcast, I felt like it was time for a refresher of the three chairs. In this show, I discuss where the Adult Chair model came from and a review of the three chairs. For long time listeners, this will reinforce your knowledge of the Adult Chair. For new listeners this will help you to build a foundation for this model. Either way, it's filled with great information about the three chairs! The Journaling Challenge: theadultchair.com/journal 

Abandonment can leave an incredible wound inside of us. We do our best to bury it and not feel that pain but it leaves its mark on us. We move through life unconsciously guarded and ready for abandonment to happen again. We want to be free of this wound but don't know how. In today's show I go over the two types of abandonment and offer steps to heal this wound. Journaling Challenge: theadultchair.com/journal Inner Child link: https://kh519.infusionsoft.app/app/form/inner-child-form?cookieUUID=b1f9ab62-0aff-4de4-94d4-3aff2b1fd68e Narcissism podcast: https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/104?rq=narcissism Grief podcast: https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/93?rq=grief Parts podcast/Who is sitting in my Adolescent chair: https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/38?rq=Adolescent%20chair Healing from Betrayal podcast: https://michellechalfant.com/podcast/125?rq=Betrayal Audible link: https://www.audibletrial.com/theadultchair Book of the week: The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson

There is huge power in owning our reality, yet most of us don't know how. We hide behind masks to cover our true selves up and show up in the world how we think others want us to be. This can be exhausting and so wearing on us. In this show, I speak about the power in owning your reality and the benefits of doing so. On the show I mentioned: 1. Podcast #103 It's all About You 2. The 30 day Journaling Challenge-www.theadultchair.com/journal Audible book: Reinventing Yourself How to become the person you always wanted to be By Steve Chandler https://audibletrial.com/theadultchair

We feel responsible for fixing and taking care of others. When we aren't "helping", we may feel anxious or useless. These could be symptoms of codependency. In today's show, I review what happens in childhood that sets us up for codependency, what it looks like in adulthood, and how you can heal and transform your life. Additional Show notes: Journaling Challenge: Go to www.theadultchair.com/journal to sign up. Podcast: #11 Codependency: I"m OK if you are OK Podcast: #70 I am not your lifejacket! Ending Codependency in Relationships Podcast: #27 Who are You? Self-Validation and Projection Podcast: #84 Raising Self Esteem There is no shame in being codependent blog: Oct 25, 2016 Melody Beattie Audible download: www.audibletrial.com/theadultchair Codependent No More: Melody Beattie

When we experience a trauma, there is a part of us that can get stuck in time, yet we continue to physically grow. Part of the work of the Adult Chair is finding these parts and integrating them into the self in order to help us to feel whole and healthy. My client Sarah graciously agreed to share her session today which demonstrates the integration of her 10 year old part. It was a beautiful session and I am so grateful to Sarah for sharing her experience.

Betrayal is the worst kind of pain. It blindsides us, it can shock us and leave us in total disbelief. We wonder how we can move through such pain and feel ok again. In this show, Michelle shares her own experiences with betrayal and offers an 8 step process that walks us out of our pain and helps us to find trust again. Photo credit: @aleksdahlberg Resources mentioned: Living and Loving After Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment www.audibletrial.com/theadultchair

We don't end relationships well, unfortunately no one teaches us how to do this. We get stuck in our victim or get caught in the blame game which only keeps us stuck! Katherine Woodward Thomas offers us a fresh perspective on breaking up and ending well. On today's show we discuss her book and process called Conscious Uncoupling, which Gweneth Paltrow and Chris Martin made famous. She shares with us the 5 key elements in the book that teach us how to live happily even after. Resources mentioned... Katherine Woodward Thomas-http://www.consciousuncoupling.com/ Conscious Uncoupling-5 Steps to Living Happily Even After - book FREE offer: Conscious Uncoupling starter kit-http://www.consciousuncoupling.com/starterkit/ Audible book recommendation - Conscious Uncoupling-5 steps to living happily even after.

Life can be overwhelming at times and it can cause us to lose ourselves. This may look like difficulty in making decisions, setting boundaries and or standing in your truth. This meditation will help change that, as it helps you to tap into your inner strength and regain empowerment.

It seems like a growing number of kids today are suffering from anxiety. As parents and caregivers of these kids, witnessing their anxiety can leave us feeling helpless and not sure what to do. Often times, what we do doesn't help and even makes things worse. Today Sharon Selby, Registered Clinical Counselor and expert in the field of anxiety with children, teens and families joins me on the show. Sharon offers some incredible advice for those of us needing help with our children and teens struggling with anxiety, and gives us tips on how to bring more peace and empowerment back into the family. Resources mentioned: Sharon Selby - www.sharonselby.com FREE Offer: happy to offer your audience my free ebook: 8 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Your Child Is Anxious. Download the book here: www.sharonselby.com Audible book recommendation - Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children By: Lynn Lyons, Reid Wilson PhD.

Anxiety, ruminating thoughts, stress and negative impulses can make us feel like we are imploding! When we implode, it feels like our world is collapsing and we have no way out. In today's show, I help you find your way out of imploding and even stop yourself before you collapse with 10 easy tips. The great news is that it only takes minutes to change your emotional state with these, and you don't even have to do all of them to feel better! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind: How to Stop the Cycle of Anxiety, Fear and Worry by Jennifer Shannon LMFT

We are born with a divine connection and guidance system. This part of us is the spiritual aspect of who we are, the part of us that is wise, all-knowing and always connected with us, that is always guiding us and illuminating our life path. We have the ability to connect with this part and deepen the connection. Let us now awaken and connect to this divine part: the higher self. Enjoy the journey.

People change and relationships end. This can be such a painful time but also a time of great change, perhaps positive change. In the episode today, I talk with you about how we can go through the ending of relationships in a new way, a conscious way, from our Adult Chair. Sitting here can change how you navigate the end. In today's show, I offer 6 "Truths" for relationships and how and why they may be ending. It may offer some new insights about relationships and change how you feel about things being over. Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud.

We use statements like, "I'm so in the flow today, everything fell perfectly into place." We also hear, "I was so out of the flow today, it was the worst day." Does this "flow state" randomly happen to us or can we choose it? I believe we can access this state and ride it like a wave! In today's show, I explain how we do this, with a 4-step process to access and harness your own flow state. Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Flow: Living at the Peak of Your Abilities by Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi.

“How do I find my way out?” What are you in? That doesn’t matter! If you’re in a situation that is painful, scaring you, causing you discomfort, no matter of external advice is going to help you get yourself out of it. To dig out, you have to go inside, to find the parts of you that that you don’t understand that keep you locked into a cycle of pain, that prevent you from finding clarity, from freeing yourself from the ego of your Adolescent Chair! I've had so many people come to me stuck in struggle and pain lately so on today's show I have four tools to offer that will help you on the road back to peace and into your Adult Chair! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer!

I could not be more excited about today’s show! Dr. Dan Siegel joins me to talk about his new book Aware, and the work he’s been doing that can radically accelerate our journey toward learning to live in the present moment. This is an amazing partner to all the work each and every one of you are doing to learn to live in your Adult Chair — I know you’re simply going to love this! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Aware by Dan Siegel! About Dr. Dan Siegel Dr. Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA. He is also the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute which focuses on the development of mindsight, which teaches insight, empathy, and integration in individuals, families and communities. Dr. Siegel has published extensively for both the professional and lay audiences. His four New York Times bestsellers are: Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human, Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D: The Whole-Brain Child, No-Drama Discipline, and the upcoming The Yes Brain (2018). His other books include: The Developing Mind (2nd Ed.), Mindsight, The Mindful Brain, and The Mindful Therapist. Dr. Siegel also serves as the Founding Editor for the Norton Professional Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology which contains over fifty textbooks.

We’re back! I’m thrilled to be back to the podcast after our summer break, a break that’s been filled with much emotion for me personally. I share that experience with my friend Karen Campion on the show this week as we talk about the true power of letting go to move forward. Karen is wonderful and I’m sure her insights will resonate with you, just as they do with me! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön! Links & Notes Learn about Karen and her work

Unfortunately, we all experience shame at some point in our lives, some of us more than others. In this guided meditation exercise, you will be guided through a process from the Adult Chair model that releases and transforms shame.

How do I live authentically? If you find yourself asking that question, you’re not alone. I hear this from clients practically daily, each feeling a connection with the concept, knowing they’re disconnected from their true, authentic selves, but at the same time struggling to move into that place of living their own lives authentically. To help us answer this question and better understand the practice of living authentically, Sandra Rojo is with us to share her expertise. Sandra is founder of Journey to Authentic living and her practice is dedicated to helping others find their authenticity through her practice in the healing and therapeutic arts. Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Essentialism by Greg McKeown or Soul Shifts by Barbara De Angelis! About Sandra Rojo Sandra Rojo is the Founder and President of Journey to Authentic living (JTAL). JTAL is a Coaching, Training and Consulting Company. Sandra has more than 15 years of hands-on experience working with clients to achieve positive lifestyle and behavioral changes. Sandra lived in Northern Italy for many years where she served as a teacher, interpreter, and coach for young women. Links & Notes Journey to Authentic Living YouTube Instagram Facebook

Pain can feel heavy, like a dark cloud that won't go away. We often times don't realize that we are carrying our pain with us from the past, in hopes that something or someone will make it magically go away. Today, Rea Wright and I offer 5 ideas for relieving the darkness of pain and living a lighter more peaceful life. Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at audibletrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Molecules of Emotion: Why You Feel the Way You Feel by Candace B. Pert!

The Enneagram is a personality typing system that helps us to identify more clearly who we are, and is an exciting tool that is gaining in popularity all over the world. Today on the show Ramona Reid blends the wisdom of the Enneagram into the Adult Chair. Ramona shared with us how she experiences the Child, Adolescent and Adult through the lens of the Enneagram and the commonalities of the two models and how they enrich each other. This was an enlightening episode that will surely take you deeper into self awareness. Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth by Christopher Heuertz!

This week on the show I have a guest to talk to us about one of the most misunderstood and over-used labels I’ve run across: borderline personality disorder. Dr. Robin Arthur is a fantastic and knowledgeable expert who has been working with BPD individuals for years and has managed to offer us the tools we need not only to understand it, but to differentiate it from other personality disorders that are often confused. She’s got tips to share, examples to demonstrate her points and a terrific set of recommendations for supporting those in your life living with borderline personality disorder, too! Sponsor: This week’s show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Randi Kreger and Paul T. Mason! Links & Notes Find Robin at Transform Consulting

It’s a little bit of a heavy subject today, but it’s one we have to talk about: Healing our Shame. It’s a subject that crosses my office practically daily in insidious and subversive ways. Shame contaminates our work and our relationships and creates a cycle of binary, either/or thinking. But we can take back our power in our relationship with shame if we work to understand it, relate to it, and use the tools we have that are built in to The Adult Chair! Get ready everybody… we’re going to move through some shame today! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw!

I adore our guest today! Patti Elledge joins us to talk about adult attachment wounds. She’s a brilliant therapist and practitioner and gives us so much depth through our conversation on the role of attachment in our lives and how we can heal ourselves — plus, her work fits _perfectly_with what I teach in The Adult Chair. So grab some coffee or tea and settle in for a wonderful conversation that can change your life! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller! Links & Notes Find Patti on LinkedIn DiannePooleHeller.com

What do we do when we feel like we just can’t put one more thing on our plates? When the people we love and care about are expecting so much from us, it feels like we’re suffocating? When our career obligations increasing anxiety beyond our ability to cope? I know the feeling, and I know you know the feeling, and today on the show, I’m going to share a recent experience that had me turning to MY Adult Chair. I hope you find taking a seat in your own Adult Chair can help you soften the blows of stress and anxiety, too! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh!

The rush of anxiety and overwhelm can quickly take over our experience of the world. Being equipped with the tools to ease that experience is central to living in the Adult Chair. Let us journey.

The only way you’re going to heal is to own your life. That’s the overriding message of the show today and it comes thanks to the story of a fabulous client we’ll call “Carolyn.” She’s graciously offered her story for this week’s show as a demonstration of owning your own stuff, and making great strides in breaking the damaging patterns and programs that play over and over in our lives. Thanks to her work with the Chairs, she’s found grounding and hope in moving forward through relationship addiction and more! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for my recommended book for the week: Personal Development Simplified: An Easy to Follow Guide to Personal Development for Beginners, Identify and Break Negative Patterns, Become a Better Version of Yourself, Guaranteed by Coach KP!  

We do everything we can to keep ourselves safe and loved in the world. To do this, we look to the past and gather up stories and then based on those stories we project into the future based on assumptions. Living like this creates stress and keeps us out of the present moment and stuck in the Adolescent Chair! When we learn to become "story busters" and live from a place of fact and truth, we find ourselves seated squarely in the moment and in the Adult Chair. In this episode, I share with you how easily and quickly we fall into stories and assumptions, and how quickly we can change our lives when we step into the moment and find our new truth from the Adult Chair. Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for my recommended book for the week: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero!

As children, we unknowingly inherit dysfunctional or unhealthy beliefs. This meditation takes you on a journey to find your true self and along the way, remove the inherited unhealthy and dysfunctional beliefs. Find yourself at the end feeling more worthy, strong, empowered, confident, brave and lovable with a beautiful boundary keeping others dysfunctional opinions or beliefs out. Enjoy the journey.  

Ted is back! This time we're kicking it off with a big question about men and emotions, but I guarantee you there are some surprises in store from there! Ted shares his personal journey to understanding, learning to feel and experience his emotions. Along the way, he teaches us some important lessons on men and women and how we experience our emotions in different — but powerful — ways! Join us! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.! Links & Notes Dr. Ted Klontz Ted’s Courses at Creighton for Financial Services Professionals

I get this question all the time: “how to do I get (fill in the blank loved-one here) to get into their Adult Chair?!” I get it. You’re doing all this fantastic work on yourself, you’re sitting in your emotions and learning to move with them, not in spite of them. You’re doing all the great things that you need to do to live authentically yourself … now why won’t other people get on this train with you? Great question. And I’m going to take on exactly that this week on the show — I hope you join me! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: Conversations with God (Book 1) by by Neale Donald Walsh of Enlightened Relationships by Eckhard Tolle! Links & Notes Register now for The Adult Chair Level 1 — Nashville, April 28-29, 2018

Annie Waugh is an integrative therapist and dear friend and she’s joining me on the show today to talk about an area of particular expertise: Essential Oils! I love oils and cherish everything Annie has taught me — and I can’t wait for her to share some of these great lessons with you all today. We tackle depression and grief and hormone balance and so much more! So grab your diffuser and settle in for some terrific and practical instruction on integrating essential oils into your healing journey! Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for our recommended book for the week: The Healing Power of Essential Oils: Soothe Inflammation, Boost Mood, Prevent Autoimmunity, and Feel Great in Every Way by Eric Zielinski, D.C.! Links & Notes Learn More about Annie Waugh Register now for The Adult Chair Level 1 — Nashville, April 28-29, 2018

Shannon Thomas sits down in the adult chair with me today to talk about narcissism, gaslighting, and other forms of abuse and emotional trauma that can plague our relationships. This is a wide-ranging interview thanks to YOU! So many of the questions Shannon takes on this week come from your responses in our Facebook private group — far more than we could cover in one sitting! So, consider this a start, and know that I’ll have Shannon back soon to keep this conversation moving. Sponsor: This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for my recommended book for the week: _Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse_by our very own Shannon Thomas! About Shannon Thomas, LCSW Shannon Thomas, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social work supervisor, the owner and lead therapist of an award-winning private practice counseling agency in North Texas and best-selling author of ‘Healing From Hidden Abuse’. In ‘Healing From Hidden Abuse’, Shannon bridges the gap between pop culture and clinical advice and also outlines her ‘Six Stages of Healing’ model. Her passion is helping people overcome life challenges and seeing abuse survivors living to their fullest potential. Shannon approaches her work from the lens of a therapist and as a fellow survivor of psychological abuse. Links & Notes Find Shannon at Southlake Counseling ShannonThomas.com Shannon Thomas on Facebook Shannon Thomas on Instagram Shannon Thomas on Twitter

Go ahead and say it out loud right now: “It’s all about me!” My clients have a lot of trouble saying it, as if it gets stuck in their throats. But being able to say that it’s all about you isn’t selfish, it’s ownership! It’s your charge that you are taking responsibility for your own emotions, feelings, desires. You’re going to look after yourself first, and thus open the door to being able to be an even better, whole support for those closest to you! All that and more on this week’s show! This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for my recommended book for the week: Edgar Cayce on Mastering Your Spiritual Growth by Kevin J. Todeschi! Plus, listen all the way through to the end this week. Remember Pete Wright? Producer of this very show? Well, he has a new podcast and he’s released a trailer that I’ve included at the end of the show this week. It’s called “What’s that Smell: A sometimes-funny podcast about humans and their anxieties.” I know so many people that feel such shame about their own anxieties and Pete and his partner are doing a wonderful job sharing the things that cause them anxiety and modeling how we can all be better about laughing together as we own our own stuff! I’ve listened to the first few episodes and they range from off-the-wall to downright sensitive. Give it a shot! Find it in iTunes here, or their website at RashPixel.FM.

Karen Gelstein is another of my favorite people. She’s a therapist based out of New York City and when you hear what she has to say on love addiction, love avoidance, narcissism in the show this week you’re definitely going to want to learn more about her work. We’re of the same mind, and I think you’ll find in this show that her perspectives absolutely cement the critical importance of inner child work in healing from this emotional space. It’s terrific! Links & Notes Karen Gelstein on PsychologyToday.com This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for my recommended book for the week: Healing Your Attachment Wounds by Dianne Poole Heller!

This week on the show I'm thrilled to welcome one of my precious clients and author of one of my very favorite quotes on healing, “soothing cannot be outsourced.” Susan introduces us to her journey of discovery in the Adult Chair which encompasses so many of the elements of struggle that so many face: loss of family, grief, reconciliation, all milestones on a path to discovery and love of self. Thank you so much to Susan for her willingness to join me for this conversation and sharing her own journey! Links & Notes This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for my recommended book for the week: The Power of the Heart: Finding Your True Purpose in Life by Baptist de Pape.

What an amazing milestone! Never in a million years would I have imagined the love and grace I've discovered in the audience of this podcast. Thank you so much for everything you've done to make the journey to episode 100 so special. And now, let's get started on our journey to episode 200 with a conversation on self-love! I have ten tools you can use to drive your own journey to self-love, each part of a practice I use with my clients to help recenter and find joy inside themselves. I love each step on this journey and I believe you will, too. Remember: it's a practice! Be patient, and let's journey! This week's show is brought to you by Audible! Get a free audiobook to spice up your commute and learn and love through reading. Sign up for your free book at AudibleTrial.com/theadultchair. From there, search for my recommended book for the week: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay!

One of the most cherished, empowering, and attractive experiences in a relationship comes when both partners are strong in the belief of their own worthiness in the world. This meditation serves as a reminder of that strength and beauty: You Are Worthy. Let us journey.

Carrying around feelings of blame, shame, anger, sadness, or apathy from un-forgiveness can be incredibly heavy on us. This forgiveness meditation will help you to gain a new perspective with the person or event that has made you feel stuck and unable to move on. During this meditation, we cut cords, relieving us of the heavy burden we have been carrying and let go of the energy of the pain. In the end, we find ourselves transformed, lighter, and ready to move on. Let us journey.

Many of us grow up learning to please others, to give up our personal space to ensure others are ok before ourselves. We violate our personal space and drop our boundaries in order to not offend others, maybe we walk on eggshells, attempting to keep the peace, forgetting we are betraying ourselves in the process. This meditation is to teach others how we want to be treated. It’s a meditation that re-programs our misbeliefs about ourselves and helps us to learn how to improve our sense of self and how to set boundaries.

Throughout our lives we experience relationship challenges, changes or even relationships that end. This is life. Often times we have a difficult time moving on or letting go when a relationship is in flux or ending. This meditation helps us to release the cords that bind us to the old dysfunctional ways and patterns in a relationship. This meditation helps you to cut and release the old dysfunctional cords that are tethering the two of you in the relationship, in order to allow the relationship to become what it needs to-perhaps a new stronger connection or a clean ending. Cutting cords does not end the relationship, it releases the dysfunctional cords that are binding you with someone so new healthy cords can form and connect you from a healthy place.   

Reset your mind and body to the new frequency of you: a person of vision, accomplishment, success, and light.  Let us journey. This meditation helps to reprogram the mind with empowered thoughts that enable you to set goals and achieve success in life. We often times feel stuck or may have negative self-talk around goal setting and success. Many of us lack the confidence or beliefs within ourselves that we can become successful. This meditation plants seeds of empowerment, confidence, worthiness, and self-love into the mind that will enable you to make true life changes and begin to see yourself in a new way.

This meditation will reprogram the thoughts and beliefs we hold of ourselves that constrain us, those that prevent us from being who we are truly meant to be in the world.  Let us journey.

This is a meditation to release anxiety, stress and worry. Find a comfortable position, close your eyes, and allow yourself to relax and become fully present.  Let us begin.

A healing inner child meditation for codependency, negative programming, and lack of self-love. Let us journey.

We spend a lot of time searching for who we are on the outside of us when the direction we need to go instead is on the inside.  Let us travel.

This meditation is excellent for anyone feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed. In this meditation, we ground and cleanse to regain peace back in the present moment.

To live as an empath means taking on the emotional and energetic burdens of the world around us. In this month's mediation, I offer you a cleansing and grounding journey, a meditation to center you and help you find peace in noise. It is also a meditation for cleansing chakras, and we'll walk through each in meditation today.  

This 5-minute meditation promotes relaxation, healing, and self- love. It’s a wonderful meditation for emotional healing and/or physical healing or for anyone seeking greater peace in their lives. 

No time for meditation? No more excuses! This one minute meditation promotes relaxation, brings you back to balance and create a sense of peace. It’s a wonderful way to start your day and do during the day whenever you need to re-center and de-stress. 

This 10-minute guided meditation will take you through a seven-step process to increase your manifestation success. It is an easy to follow creation process that includes the key steps in creation, using energy centers of the body to bring the creation down through you and into your reality.   Many other manifestation strategies don’t work well, as they are missing key elements to bring forth your desired creation. This process has been tried and proven and works!  Let me know how you like it, would love to hear from you.

This 10-minute meditation will help you relieve stress and anxiety all year round. With a daily practice, you'll begin to find great inner strength from meditation — I hope you'll use this to begin to discover the emotional freedom that is possible!

Do you feel stuck? Do you continue to fall into the same dysfunctional patterns? This guided meditation helps to clear those patterns and make way for new empowering experiences. 

We use this meditation to find and access our Inner Child. This is the part of us that is the container for our true feelings, true needs and innocence. 

This is a guided heart opening meditation. It helps with opening our hearts to love from others and in loving ourselves.

Clears away old stories and limiting beliefs that are keeping us stuck and are in the way of living our most authentic lives. 

A guided meditation for purifying our selves and releasing old, disempowered thoughts, wounds and emotions (both unconscious and conscious) and uncovering our true selves.

A guided meditation for when we feel scattered, spacey, “not all here.” Grounding helps with focus, feeling present and awareness. It is beneficial to do this meditation daily. When we ground we are anchoring ourselves into the earth, which can be a very healing ritual on all levels.

Most of us grew up thinking that vulnerability equals weakness. Let's get this straight right off the top: that is absolutely not true. This week on the podcast we’re going to pull that misconception apart and share some examples of vulnerability that you can use to frame how you approach becoming vulnerable as an act of courage, an act of embracing risk, and most importantly, and act of love!

Trouble staying in your Adult Chair when you're triggered? Me too! This week, I have a story all about my own triggering experience and I want to use it to demonstrate how to move through the chairs and release the power and energy that binds you in the trigger!

Trauma comes in many shapes and sizes. From single events to long-running experiences that take away our sense of safety and security. Even if it doesn’t involve physical harm, it can lead toward isolation, depression, severe anxiety, and overwhelm. This week on the show, Michelle is back with a DriveTime Download inspired by the conversation on The Adult Chair private Facebook group to reflect on the nature of trauma and steps we can take to move forward in our Adult Chair! Links & Notes The Adult Chair 80: How do I feel my emotions?

Leaving work and feeling inspired — I have a new Drivetime Download for you! This week, I want to talk all about clearing anxiety. It’s a massive trigger for so many of us this time of year, coming through my clients and group members all struggling to numb out, to escape the experience of anxiety. This week I want to help you navigate the rough waters of anxiety leading to significant, long-term change in your life. It’s time to get off the treadmill of temporary soothing of pain, so hop in the car with me and let’s go!

We’re in the middle of January right now and if you’re like most of us, you’re probably already giving up on some of your well-intentioned resolutions that you set on New Year’s Eve. That’s completely normal, even though it’s likely disappointing. This week on the show, I’m going to give you a whole new way to think about accomplishing your goals: Making Change from the Adult Chair. Through visualization, meditation, journaling and so much more, you’re going to find the intrinsic motivation that will drive you to set realistic goals and then meet them with clear mind, heart, and spirit! Links & Notes Clearing out the Year — Facebook Video Register for Upcoming Adult Chair Workshops!

Were you feeling unnaturally thankful that 2017 ended, that you were embarking on a new journey for 2018? You’re not alone, and today’s guest is going to tell us all why! Rachel Lang is an intuitive astrologer and healer, and a consultant for businesses, and she’s here to provide much needed perspective on a crazy year gone by, and guidance for the year to come! Links & Notes Rachel C. Lang

Michelle is in the car again, this time answering some community questions on how to handle grief, particularly during the holidays. What do you from the Adult Chair when you need someone to show up for you, and support you in your time of grief? What about from the other perspective? How do you show up for someone else experiencing grief or loss this holiday season? All that and more in our last episode before the new year!

The holidays are upon is, and as a result more and more people are writing us to ask how you handle difficult family gatherings from the Adult Chair. So, we’re on it! This week we’re talking all about how you maintain your center, keep your calm, and don’t let strife dominate your holiday. You’ll be better equipped to define your own boundaries of what is and is not appropriate behavior. You’ll be able to assess the codependency that can so quickly invade your relationships. And we’ve got one sure-fire way to keep yourself at peace thanks to EFT! Links & Notes The Adult Chair Podcast 26: Boundaries vs. Confrontation The Adult Chair Podcast 11: Codependency: I'm OK if You're OK Introduction to EFT Follow The Adult Chair on Spotify!

So many of us are afraid of our anger. We use language like, “don’t go there” or “stay calm”. We to push it down and shove it away and teach ourselves to hide from it, and hide it from others. In fact, this is the programming we get from others when we have anger. People close to us tell us to “chill out”, “calm down” or even “get over it”. The most insidious: sometimes we even hear “you are scaring me”. Of course, we don’t want to scare others, so we shove down this powerful emotion, and there it sits, simmering. But anger is an emotion of change. If we learn to sit with our anger just as we sit with our other emotions, we can come to understand it, to learn from it, and maybe even to love it in time. This week on the show, we’re talking all about the anger that lives inside of all of us, and how we can live in harmony with it instead of fear! Links & Notes New Adult Chair courses are live! Register now for Level 1 in Florida, or Level 2 in Tennessee now! Introduction to Emotional Freedom Technique

Simple proximity to the holidays on the calendar can be a trigger for many of us. We watch as the days tick by, feeling the pressure of the holidays creep up on us, and with them, social and family anxiety that can disconnect us from our true selves. This week on the show, I want to share with you some of the tools and techniques that can help you stay strong and present during the turbulent holiday weeks. You deserve a restful and energizing break full of love and warmth — with the right tools, you can bring the same to those around you! Links & Notes Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shadan) The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer Support The Adult Chair — Sign up for a trial account at Audible.com! — Learn More  

I’m back with my dear friend Ramona Reid on her radio show, Holistic Revolution Radio this week! Actually, this show was recorded last month, but we talked about all the things that are incredibly important for us to keep in mind over the Thanksgiving Holiday (here in the U.S.). So, in the whirlwind of craziness that comes with family and friends, this is a reminder to stay present, to free yourself from limiting beliefs, and to feel the feelings that are constraining you. Ramona asks some wonderful probing questions, and I’m confident this conversation is going to resonate with you! Happy Thanksgiving! Links & Notes Find Holistic Revolution Radio on Facebook  

Suffering comes from the Adolescent Chair. That’s the part of us that creates stories to fill in the holes in our daily narrative, and that’s where we unintentionally find ourselves getting stuck with intrusive thoughts and spirals that lead us right to Suffering Island! This week, we’re talking all about how to get off the boat, and take control of our own stories by living in our Adult Chair’s fact and truth!

The victim is powerless. They feel sorry for themselves. They see the world as one of fault and innocence, black and white. They believe others are against them. We run into these people all the time, and may not see it at first, but these trigger phrases become clear. If you’re saying these things, you may be in the pattern yourself: it’s time to take responsibility, and end your journey into the victim mentality! This week on the show we talk about what you might be doing if you’re in the role of the victim and I’ve got some great strategies to help you lift yourself RIGHT OUT of it!

Over 30 years ago, we started hearing about positive psychology as a field of study in psychology. Gratitude, optimism, forgiveness, happiness, and compassion were studied in comparison to attention traditionally paid to so-called negative psychology including mental illness, stress, trauma, addiction, and so on. What they found was that positive psychology had powerful effects on our health and not only mental and emotional health. The research found positive connections to physical, emotional, and even spiritual health. Over the years, we’ve learned that gratitude is one of the most powerful traits of those living an emotionally healthy life. Today on the show we’re talking about the power of gratitude in your life and how you can build a daily practice of grace yourself! Links & Notes “Forget Big Change, Start with a Tiny Habit” — BJ Fogg at TEDxFremont Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior by David R. Hawkins

Never considered yourself much of a journaler? I get it. I’ve heard all the reasons, too. Not enough time. Not sure what to write. Can’t keep up with it. I did it once a while ago and didn’t see any results. The list goes on and on and on! But for those who have managed to get over the hump, who have conquered the perils of the blank page, they know that the benefits of introspection through journaling are as deep as they are broad. You can heal yourself, build a relationship with your inner child through rich dialog, connect with your past and better understand your place in the world, all through a daily practice of conscientious meditation. That’s why, in addition to our conversation about journaling on the podcast today, I’m thrilled to be hosting a month of conversations on journaling in The Adult Chair private Facebook group in our 30-Day Journaling Challenge! Join the group and sign up for the mailing list and I’ll send you daily prompts throughout November to keep your journaling practice inspired! Links & Notes Moleskine Notebooks Apple Pencil iPad Pro GoodNotes Day One — A Simple and Elegant Journal for iPhone, iPad, and Mac

Many of us have a fragile relationship with our self-esteem. Even those who wear a brave face may be struggling inside, fighting negative self-talk and our history of lack of validation. Today, we’re talking about reprogramming, new language that can help you see yourself in a new light. This is a doorway you’ll open to connect to something bigger, deeper than yourself, and realign your relationship to your experiences as just that: experiences, and nothing more. Since meditation is such a key component to this work, make sure to check out my guided meditation, Accessing Your Inner Child over on YouTube. Even better, download the Insight Timer on iOS or Android and follow me as I build out my library of meditations there. It’s become one of my very favorite apps and I’m thrilled that people are getting such great use out of my meditations — and those of all the other great teachers in their directory! Links & Notes Get Insight Timer for iOS or Android Michelle Chalfant — InsightTimer

Ready for better relationships in your life? Perhaps you crave deeper connections, healthier relationships with better communication? In today’s show, I talk about how to do just that. Most of us weren’t taught how to have healthy relationships, but today we discuss how to change all of that and create healthy relationships from the Adult Chair.

Does your life ever feel just plain turbulent? Your relationships are off center, you're questioning your most important decisions, you're full of anxiety and stress ... I know I do! That's why I have to talk to you today! I'm reflecting on two areas of turbulence in my own life — in my marriage, and my family — and I'm so excited about it because it gives me the chance to share how I count on The Adult Chair to bring calm skies, presence in my emotions, and the open door of change in the air ahead of me!

We’re nearing the end of our series on relationships and for our next-to-last episode, we have one of our favorite people on the hook to answer some of your best and most personal questions about your long-term relationships, marriages, and the intimacy you are seeking within them! Katie Hendricks has been a pioneer in body intelligence and conscious loving for over forty years. She is the co-author of twelve books, including the best-selling Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond. She co-founded the Spiritual Cinema Circle and the virtual Body Intelligence Summit and has traveled over one million air miles as the ambassador for the work that she and her husband Gay Hendricks have developed together. Links & Notes Hearts In True Harmony About Katie Hendricks Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond by Katie and Gay Hendricks

So many of us have no idea how to feel our emotions. For a variety of reasons, we are simply just not in touch with them, or even cut ourselves off from feeling them, (unless they are happy emotions.) There is great power in feeling our emotions and in this special DriveTime Download, I give you three easy tips on how to begin to feel your emotions and open up to a whole new world as a special response to our Facebook Private Group members and the rich discussion they’re having right now! Of course, I hope this is useful to everyone! But, if you’d like a little more context, make sure to send us a request to join the group and get ready to dig in on your own Adult Chair journey! Links & Notes Meditations with Michelle Meditations with Michelle — YouTube Channel Meditations with Michelle — The Inner Child Meditation

We all want that one manual for parenting teens but where is it? What do we do when we find out our teen has been drinking, using drugs, or vaping? For parents, this can be triggering and scary! Our goal is to learn to parent from a healthy place, and that’s when we learn to parent from our Adult Chair. This means we stay present, we respond vs react, we set healthy boundaries and have honest (and sometimes tough) conversations with our kids to keep them safe through their teen years. In this conversation with Dr. James Wellborn, we gain some new and valuable tools on how to parent from a healthy place while our teens test, push boundaries, and experiment, from high school and into a healthy adulthood. Links & Notes Dr. James Wellborn

What does it mean to find happiness? Noah Levine tried to find it — with motorcycles and leather jackets and drugs and more — only to discover that the true path to happiness is on the inside. Since then, he’s become one of the foremost instructors of mindfulness and meditation from the Buddhist perspective thanks to his own journey of peace, and he’s with us today to share more. This week’s episode kicks off a series of conversations on relationships with a focus on our inner relationship, the one we have with ourselves. It’s the most important relationship when we think about our work in the Adult Chair and Noah’s perspective is so powerful and informative for our own journey. About Noah Levine Noah Levine is a Buddhist teacher, author, counselor and recognized keynote speaker. He has studied with a variety of prominent Therevadan and Mahayanan Buddhist teachers and holds a masters degree in Integrative Counseling Psychology from CIIS. With over 25 years of experience in the addiction and recovery field, Noah has created a process of addiction recovery based on the teachings of the Buddha called Refuge Recovery. He is also the founder of Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society–with active centers in Los Angeles and San Francisco and more than 20 affiliated groups across North America. He is the author of “Dharma Punx”, “Against the Stream”, “Heart of the Revolution” and “Refuge Recovery.” Links & Notes Noah Levine — Talks at Google Against the Stream Refuge Recovery Refuge Recovery Treatment Centers

Once again, the car has shown itself to be a terrific vessel for inspiration! So many clients have been facing this central question that I found it a great time step back and share some guiding thoughts. When we experience a negative emotion, our instinct is to jump out of it, to move back to happiness and peace as quickly as possible. But we're not taught to do that authentically so we look for an escape. Today I have some thoughts on how to approach pain from the Adult Chair that I think will help!

We’re continuing our series on mindfulness and food this week with a conversation on Mindful Eating. What does it mean to eat mindfully? Which chair are we usually in when we eat? What happens to your body when you approach food from a place of mindfulness and gratitude? We’ve got some answers for you, and five key messages you can tell yourself to figure out how to get in better touch with your body, to listen to it, and begin making decisions that serve your overall physical and emotional health! Links & Notes Introduction to EFT Tapping Your Way to Pain-Free with EFT The Mathematics of Weight Loss with Ruben Meerman — TEDxQUT Living Through Cancer in The Adult Chair

When we live in our Adult Chair, we live in the healthiest version of ourselves. This is not just about living an emotionally healthy lifestyle, but also living in a strong physical body, too. In fact, our emotional health is directly affected by our physical health. Megan Ramos serves as director for the Intensive Dietary Management program based in Scarborough, Ontario, Canada. She’s a clinical researcher herself with a focus on preventative medicine. After her own diabetes diagnosis, she became the program’s first guinea pig and is here to talk to us about her own experience, IDM’s work, and introduce some of these dietary strategies that can help your emotional regulation too. Links & Notes Intensive Dietary Management Register for Michelle’s Adult Chair 3-day intensive in Nashville OR Charlotte!

Our guest today is Tisha Morris, founder of Earth Home and bestselling author on Feng Shui and the energy of our spaces. We wanted to have Tisha on the show to help us better understand the role of Feng Shui in our homes, but she taught us so much more! Her guidance on the way we relate to our most precious spaces leads us not just through our rooms and down our halls, but deep into our long-forgotten drawers and cabinets to seek out the energy blocks that keep us bound up! Tisha is a certified life coach, energy healer, and fellow podcaster — find Feng Shui Your Life in Apple Podcasts — and she’s the founder of Earth Home School of Feng Shui and Feng Shui for the planet, a foundation to help promote better living spaces across the globe — Tisha Morris, welcome to The Adult Chair! Links & Notes EarthHome.tv Follow Tisha on Instagram Follow Tisha on Facebook Feng Shui your Life Podcast — Apple Podcasts

Today, we’re talking about your breath. Yes, we all breathe, but how often do you think about the way your breathing impacts your emotional well being or your physical health or your ability to respond to stress and anxiety? The answer — not enough. Our guest today is Michelle D’Avella. Michelle supports people through their journey inward to release pain, open their hearts, and create a life they love. She is a breathwork teacher, desire map facilitator, writer, and mentor. She is the host of The Pushing Beauty Podcast and we’re thrilled to welcome her to The Adult Chair today. Links & Notes Pushing Beauty Pushing Beauty — Breathwork Pushing Beauty — The Desire Map The Pushing Beauty Podcast — Apple Podcasts Pushing Beauty — Instagram

“If I don’t learn to take care of myself, who will?" Boundaries and confrontations are two very different things. One teaches others how we want to be treated and the other is getting in someone’s face to illicit change. Which one sounds better to you? In this podcast, we discuss the difference between the two and what, how and why it’s important to learn how to set effective boundaries. Unfortunately, most of us weren’t taught how to set boundaries so when we are faced with upsets or hurt we typically do one of the following: “suck it up" (and pretend nothing has happened), shun the person that hurt us and disown them or get angry, yell and/or rage.  There is a healthier way! This episode explains how.  

We're still on vacation! But this week we bring you an old favorite from October 2015. This week: Relationships! Need help with a relationship? Whether it be your partner, family member, or friend, this information will shift how you interact in relationships. In today’s podcast, we discuss ways to improve relationships using techniques from the Adult Chair model. They are simple, easy to understand, empowering, and cultivate true connection. Join us for a conversation that will not only change your troubled relationship but transform how you interact with everyone.

We're taking the month off so this week, a classic from deep in the archives! This week on the show, we’re talking about stories.  An example: You’re on the highway. Someone races up next to you and cuts into your lane. You’re surprised and scared for an instant, which leads to frustration — and maybe anger. That person is rude, oblivious, stupid, probably didn’t see you because they don’t care about others in their lives. … and so on, and so on. This is your story. A story you’ve made up about a person you have never met, based only on a split second fear reaction.  These are the stories we tell ourselves to help us rationalize our reality. This week on the show, I share where these stories come from, why it’s so important to understand how they impact us and offer a bit of insight that will help us face our stories and let them go!

Happy July everybody! We’re taking the month off with new shows but we have some good stuff to share on the podcast even while we’re on vacation! First up this week, let’s take a trip back to the new year. On January 1, I sat down with our friend Ramona Reid on her show, Holistic Revolution Radio, to talk about the new year, energy, inclusion and chakras. It’s a wide ranging and informative conversation and — as always with Ramona — a lot of fun! Even though we were talking in the context of the New Year, it’s timeless information and I hope you’ll take some time on a warm afternoon this week to join us. Links & Notes Holistic Revolution Radio on Facebook WXNA Nashville

What is black and white thinking? It’s thinking in extremes and absolutes. We’re for something or against something else, and in between there is nothing. Something is good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, successful or a failure. Of course, as you’re reading this, you probably think the whole concept sounds ridiculous, and you’re right! But of course, that’s the danger here: many people are unaware that they are black and white thinkers. Why do people do this? Thinking in absolutes helps us to feel safe, that at least in this area, we understand the world, maybe we control it a bit. Gray area represents misunderstanding, lack of control, and it’s scary and unsafe. But black and white thinking can also create anxiety and depression. It’s a function of our Adolescent Chair, and today we’re going to help you get a handle on your own absolutes, find consciousness, test some of your own black and white positions for your Adult Chair!

It’s not your job to fix those most important to you. Not your mom, not your dad, not your parents, not your friends… and when you take ownership of the responsibility for others’ well-being such that it impacts your life? You may be struggling with codependency in your relationships. That’s where we start this week, with a primer on the stuff that trips most of us at some point or another. From there, we offer five tools you can use in your life to make sure that you’re active in relationships free of codependency, and healing your own tendencies, too! Links & Notes 11: Codependency: I'm OK if You're OK 54: Narcissism, Codependency, and the Self-Love Deficit with Ross Rosenberg

Clint from Cape Town, South Africa writes in with a comment and question we wanted to face head on this week. It’s a terrific question and one we’ve all faced at some time or another in our lives. He writes: “I have really always struggled with authority figures and powerful personalities — can you help me sit in the adult chair during meetings with these types of people?” Yes! This week we’re going to do just that by facing our outdated programming and replacing it with updated maps to help us all navigate our adult world. You’ll be on the road to feeling confident in these scenarios, but the tools can take you much further! Thanks for the great question, Clint, and let us know how it goes! Links & Notes Michelle’s Introduction to Emotional Freedom Technique

The ending of relationships can be hard, especially when we don’t understand why they are ending or feel hurt over how they ended. When we look at relationships from our Adult Chair, it can change our perspective on why some relationships don’t last and we gain understanding and even comfort. In this episode, we talk about relationships that end from the perspective of our Adult Chair and in turn bring resolution and honor to the growth between us.

We all experience emotional pain off and on throughout our lives. Relationships end, people and pets die, jobs end. Pain could be just around the next corner! The problem is that as humans we think that facing pain means putting it away, hiding from it, dealing with pain as we so love to say. We don’t need to deal with our pain, we need to feel our pain and that is where we go wrong. This week on the show we’re talking all about experiencing emotions and I have some tried and true techniques that will help you work through your own pain, anger, frustration … whatever! … and get right back to the important work of living your life! Links & Notes Unlock the Secret to Truly Helping Others in Pain What I do with my Feelings and Emotions

When we are met with a friend or family member in pain — or grief, sadness, really any emotion — our instinct is to console them, to somehow help relieve their discomfort or even fix their pain. Here’s the problem: that doesn’t help. There is way to help others with their pain but it’s not what you’d think. When we demonstrate awareness, love, and willingness to be present in another’s pain, it provides a platform for change, and that’s what we’re going to teach you how to do on the show today. Links & Notes Workshops with Michelle Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey by Jill Bolte Taylor

Have you ever found yourself listening to us talking about connecting to our inner child, and wondered, “right, I get it, but how?” We’re going to help you today! The hardest part about doing this inner child work on your own is getting past the awkward feeling, the self-judgement that you’re not doing it right. It will likely feel strange to start, but once you get into the practice, you’ll feel right at home with the practical visualization of actually connecting with your inner child, and get to the peace, support, and love that follows!

As our kids move into their teenage years, they begin to distance themselves from us as parents. It’s perfectly normal! But that doesn’t make it any easier on us, and it forces us to change our approach to communicating with them. As they push back on us in an effort to find space themselves, we’re tempted to push back on them, to control and make demands of their time and attention. It’s a recipe for disaster in your relationship! Instead, try guiding them, focusing on their explorations as a reflective listener. These are just some of the tools talking about today to help you come to terms with your budding adult child!

According to Arielle Ford, one in three relationships that end in marriage start online today. And she ought to know; her work in the field of relationships over the last 30 years has earned her the title, “The Fairy Godmother of Love.” She’s on the show today to talk to us about soulmates, our search for love, and the law of attraction that can help us to find our next perfect partner. Already found your soulmate? Don’t worry, Arielle has some great advice for you, too, that will help you rekindle the excitement in your relationship no matter how long you’ve been together! About Arielle Ford Arielle Ford has spent the past 30 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author several books including THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate and her latest Inkspirations Love by Design: Coloring the Divine Path to Manifest Your Soulmate a unique, transformational coloring book. She’s been called “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love” and you might have read her article “Finding Big Love is possible at any age” in our February edition of Michelle’s Magazine! Links & Notes Soulmate Secret — Sign up for Arielle’s Newsletter! Soulmate Secret 7 Week Online Course Find Arielle’s Books on Amazon Follow Arielle Ford on Facebook Follow SoulmateSecret on Facebook

Our relationship with food is supposed to be one of healthful nurturing, building a strong family and community connection, growth and bounty. But what happens when our food connection becomes spoiled? Today on the show, Karly Randolph Pitman joins us to share her insights on food struggles, especially when it comes to sugar and addiction. She brings some truly surprising insights around where our relationship with food and sugar goes wrong and how we can get back on track and love ourselves along the way. Karly Randolph Pitman is a teacher, and the woman behind Growing HumanKindNess where she works with those looking for a new way of relating to food, body and sugar struggles. She’s author of Overcoming Sugar Addiction: How I kicked my Sugar Habit and Created a Joyful Sugar Free Life! And offers a number of courses herself including Overcoming Sugar Addiction: The 30 Day Lift, and her signature course, When Food is Your Mother. Links & Notes About Karly Randolph Pitman When Food is Your Mother Growing Humankindness Facebook Group Karly Randolph Pitman on Amazon.com

If you’re a regular listener, you know how much I love meditation. While most of us don’t actually have a regular meditation practice, that doesn’t mean a regular practice isn’t something to aspire to. This week on the show, we talk plainly about why meditation can be such an important role in your emotional and physiological health. We have a number of recommendations for apps that can help you get started, suggestions for treating yourself well as you begin to integrate mediation in your life each day, and of course, I invite you to review and download my own guided meditations, available for free for you to use in your journey into The Adult Chair! Links & Notes Guided Meditations with Michelle Thunderspace for iOS Heartmath

Your life is a revolving door. You date the same people. You report to the same bosses. Over and over again, in spite of the effort you’re making to change your life, you find that you’re stuck in the patterns that have defined you and now you want to get out. This week on the show, we’re talking about those patterns, and how you can take steps to own them, control them, and break them in favor of a new and more empowered YOU. First, you have to learn where they come from, and that can be the hardest lesson of all. Take that step today! Don’t forget to register for my next intensive! Coming next month in Nashville! We’ve got people coming from all over the country and YOU should be there! Links & Notes Spring Intensive — Register Now!

Navigating the murky waters of middle school can be tough on a kid. But navigating the murky waters of parenting a middle schooler can be even tougher! Today on The Adult Chair, our middle school maven Michelle Icard joins us to talk about how middle school has changed since we had to face it (and how it hasn’t!). From social skills to hormones to technology to the parental relationship, Michelle has some fantastic insights that will help you keep a strong relationship with your middle schooler!  About Michelle Icard Michelle Icard is the author of Middle School Makeover: Improving The Way You and Your Child Experience The Middle School Years, recognized by Publisher’s Weekly as outstanding in its genre. She is a member of the TODAY Show parenting team and NBC’s Education Nation. Michelle is also a contributor to the Washington Post OnParenting section and Your Teen Magazine. In addition, her work has been featured in The Chicago Tribune, The Christian Science Monitor, Redbook, Time, People Magazine, and A Mighty Girl. Michelle’s social leadership programs, Athena’s Path & Hero’s Pursuit, have been implemented at schools across the country.  Links & Notes MichelleIcard.com Middle School Makeover: Improving The Way You and Your Child Experience the Middle School Years by Michelle Icard Follow Michelle on Twitter Like Middle School Relief on Facebook Join Michelle’s Private Parenting Group on Facebook

We cover our feelings with numbing agents. Food. Alcohol. Work. The drive of our adolescent chair tells us that if we only had something to fill these holes in our lives, we’d be better, so we eat more, drink more, work more. Maybe we get married or have a child, always expecting that this next great thing will heal us. But the holes keep growing, and as soon as we stop for bit, stop covering up, we feel the sadness, loneliness, emptiness that fills us. Today’s conversation comes thanks to the closed Facebook group and the wonderful members there sharing their own experience feeling sad, lonely and empty. Today we’re talking about how to heal it, how to move through it from the inside out, and how to count on your own inner child as your guide.

The baggage we bring with us to adulthood can be stunningly resilient. Relationships with our family, friends, and mentors have a staying power far beyond our conscious memories. Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in mentoring adult children of alcoholics who are seeking to move beyond their painful pasts. She is also a bestselling author, radio show host, and speaker. Her latest book “Codependent Now What — It’s not you, it’s your programming” is available now, all of which makes her the perfect guest to join us today to talk about her experience freeing herself from her own childhood programming, and how her work today serves to help others do the same.  Links & Notes LisaARomano.com Find Lisa on YouTube Lisa Romano on Blog Talk Radio Books by Lisa Romano

As humans, we feel things deeply. Many of us cope with those feelings — particularly the negative ones — with some sort of numbing agent like food, or booze, or anything to minimize the impact of those feelings in our daily lives. But what do we do with those feelings and emotions get stuck? What do we do when we start to get baked in that shape of grief? This week on the show we’re talking all about the practice of moving with and through our emotions, and share the key strategies you can use to face your fears without resorting to escape!

The journey of The Adult Chair is not one of a destination, but rather an understanding. This week on the show, we talk about the confusion that can come to those who expect to live in their adult all the time, the frustration that comes with you feel like you finally understand what it feels like to sit in your Adult Chair, only to experience being snapped back into your Adolescent Chair thanks to your environment. Here’s the trick: it’s impossible to live in your Adult Chair all the time, but today we’re going to tell you why!

Today on the show, Ross Rosenberg joins us to talk about narcissism and codependence. The concepts are tied together, says Ross, and he spends much of his work helping others understand this spectrum through his concept of “self-love deficit disorder.” He joins us to share the roots of narcissism, how narcissists present in relationships, and even delves into tools for protecting ourselves when we are engaging with pathological narcissists in our lives. Ross Rosenberg, is a counselor, trainer, and author of the best-selling book, The Human Magnet Syndrome. He’s also a prolific YouTube creator — his videos have been viewed over five million times! He's trained around the world and is regularly featured on national TV and radio. You can find him blogging for The Huffington Post, PsychCentral.com and TheGoodMenProject.com. Links & Notes Gaslighting Is Everywhere — A Webinar with Ross Rosenberg February 25, 2017 About Ross Rosenberg TheHumanMagnetSyndrome.com Advanced Clinical Trainers Ross Rosenberg on YouTube Ross Rosenberg on Facebook Ross Rosenberg on Twitter Ross Rosenberg on LinkedIn

What’s life like in the Adult Chair? Hi everyone! I felt really inspired today when I was in the shower and I decided to record my inspiration while I got ready this morning. Please excuse the banging around I was doing as I didn’t know at the time that I would launch this to the group but it was such great information, I decided to share it with you. I hear people say to me that they were in their Adult Chair all day today until something happened and they moved chairs. That’s really hard to do and in this audio I explain why. I also explain what life is like and isn’t like in the Adult Chair. Have a listen as it’s only 10 minutes. Let me know what you think! Xoxo Michelle

We're nothing but love, and we don't have to do anything to get it, for it is within.

Yes, it’s true: intimacy is about more than just sex. But the physiological and psychological benefits of investing time and attention on your sex life can do wonders when it comes to rekindling intimacy in your relationship. This week on the show, we’re thrilled to have Prana Regina Barrett join us to help us better understand the role of sex in our emotional and physical well-being, and how a mindful tantra practice can open the door to a new level of depth with your partner! About Prana Regina Barrett Prana Regina Barrett, author of Lighter: Living Tantra, is the lead educator and Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapist at Tantra to Love. Gina offers private sessions, workshops, retreats, teacher trainings and sacred ceremonies worldwide. She recently relocated her school and private practice from Portland, Maine to Crestone, Colorado. You can join her and her husband John Rene Berard for couples tantra getaways at The Salida Palace Hotel or Joyful Journey Hot Springs, both located in beautiful south central Colorado! Links & Notes Tantra to Love Lighter Living Tantra by Prana Regina Barrett Find Tantra to Love on Facebook Find Regina on Instagram Follow Regina on Twitter

It’s February! That means we’re entering the season of love around these parts, and what better time is there to talk about the keys to a successful, strong, long-lasting and loving relationship. From communication to false assumptions, this week on the show we’re talking all about how we accept our partners with tools and frameworks that will help you approach your relationship from your Adult Chair.

The Enneagram provides us a method for understanding our own personality in terms of our relationship with the world and our true selves. This week on the show, I sit down with our friend Ramona Reid of Nashville Center for Alternative Therapy for an introduction to the Enneagram and the benefits that come with understanding how the Enneagram can work for you. Ramona is a skilled intuitive Enneagram coach and offers us truly inspirational insights today!  To learn more about the Enneagram, make sure to click through the links below, and reach out directly to Ramona for your own Enneagram consultation! Links & Notes The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types The Enneagram Institute Intuitive Enneagram Coaching with Ramona Reid

When we surrender, we’re choosing to let go of control of a situation. It’s consciously letting go of the ego and drive to dominate a situation with trust that the future will unfold as it is meant to. This is a position of peace, not trauma, relief, not stress. This week on the show, Pete kicks us off with a story of his own surrender, losing a decade of his own professional photography work and finding a path to releasing control, finding relief from the panic attached to the outcome, and sitting in the Adult Chair. Surrender allows you to write the story of peace in your own future, existing in the full-body experience of release that comes with intentional detachment from struggle. Links & Notes Pete’s Instagram — Photography Lives!

I am a Fraud! There. I said it out loud. Does it sound familiar? For many of you, it probably does. The voice of the imposter is a voice that lives in all of us. It comes from an instinct that is thousands of years old, one designed to protect us and keep us safe in our communities. Today, it can make us want to run and hide. Today on the show, we talk about what it means to face the imposter inside us, and what we can do to find strength in spite of it. Special guest Graham Chalfant joins it from a secret location!

Want to learn how to love yourself, take off your masks, and live more authentically? Here’s the place to do it! Listen to this replay of Michelle’s interview on Nashville’s “Holistic Revolution” radio show with host Ramona Reid. They discussed the power of synchronicity, the power of personal work, and the journey that is  living in the Adult Chair.  Plus, if you've ever wondered what it's like to go through the process of working through your child, adolescent, and adult chairs, Ramona graciously offers a panic experience to process with Michelle live on the show. Thank you, Ramona!

Do you feel emotions deeply? Do you know how others are feeling, sometimes before they do? Do you struggle with fatigue or overwhelm? You may be an empath. This show is all about empaths. It's more than a discussion of what it means to be empathetic. Having the skill to put yourself in others' shoes is great, but not our focus. Today's conversation is all about those of us who live in the world and can't turn the empathy off. Our hope is that after listening to this conversation you'll have a better sense of your gifts, and the rhythms that make you you. We discuss the traits of an empath and how to exist in the world if you are one. Finally, we have some great ideas for empath kids to help them learn to protect themselves energetically when the world around them gets loud. Join us!

For so many, the experience of “depression” is actually the experience of getting “stuck.” When we get stuck and feel like we have no options, we can fall into hopelessness and helplessness. Emotions like these are ones we want to run from and numb out. When the body experiences  an emotion, the mind says STOP! This may kill you! Go get a vice! Numb that out! My clients often tell me that they address their own negative emotions, flatness, or depressed experience, with something that will numb them and mask the feelings with a quick solution or dopamine rush. Find a glass of wine. Go get chocolate. Gamble. Shop. Create drama with those around you to hide from your own. All these things numb your experience of negative emotions, suppress the depression just a bit, and this cycle continues until we resolve these feelings more fully. Today on the show we’re going to talk about the techniques we can use to help us become more aware of our negative emotions, how to move them through the body, and make that feeling of stuckness evaporate!

If you’re a human parent, you’ve probably faced some version of this question. How do you teach your kids how to be emotionally present in the world? How to protect themselves and be assertive, and how to live with grace and compassion all at the same time? The answer is both incredibly complicated, and deceptively simple: you can’t. And that’s where we pick up on the show today, taking on the assumptions we make and the stories we tell ourselves that lead to frustration and shame in our ability to parent. The truth is that you’re probably doing fine, and I can’t wait to tell you why — just listen in this week and you’ll find out!

So many clients have been coming to me dealing with daily stress. You know the feeling — you might not be able to put your finger on it, but the accumulation of stressors in your life feel like 10,000 pounds on your back. There is no one grand solution, rather a journey of many steps, and an easy one you can take right now today, is to focus on the way you start your day, and set the tone for everything that comes before you. Are you looking at your day with frustration and impatience? Or are you looking over your day with peace and gratitude? Today, we’re going to focus on setting the tone for our day with grace! Starting with a quick 1-minute breathing exercise that you can do anywhere, you can slowly start to build the habit of mindfulness that will become the foundation for everything you do!

“Sometimes I think my son is a complete shut-in.” “I just need to escape.” “Crowds make me feel like my world is closing in.” What do you think about when you read those lines? Familiar? Foreign? Frustrating? These lines all come from people trying to understand where they and their loved ones relate to their personality orientation: Extroverts or Introverts. If you’ve ever taken a behavior indicator like Myers Briggs, you have probably received a score that rates you on the introversion/extroversion scale. Like all things related to personality, we exist on spectrum. And understanding who we are at our core can help us better relate to the world around us and feel more comfortable in our skins at the same time! I’ve had this on my list of things to talk about with you all for over a year so I’m thrilled that Pete and I have finally managed to get it on the schedule. I hope our conversation inspires you to get to know yourself better, and think more critically about how you relate to your loved ones, too.

This is another of our very special episodes! Connie is a client and dear friend and has joined me today for a conversation around her experience from the beginning of her diagnosis with aggressive breast cancer, through resolution. We talk about how we use The Adult Chair model to help us navigate trauma not just in recovery, but in the process of experiencing it. As Connie says, “It helped me feel like I wasn’t just thrown to the wolves in this, that I was in balance, and brought me back into my body.” Such a powerful story. I hope you’re able to join us today!

Worlds collide! This week on the show, for the very first time in over three years, Pete and I got to meet face-to-face! Even better than that, sitting together in a hotel lobby/swimming pool in Seattle, Pete and I finally recorded the long-awaited conversation with my husband Graham on communication and inviting the relationship into the Adult Chair when we’re triggered. As it turned out, this was a much broader conversation that we’d intended. Graham is in an interesting position; as someone who has experience with my work at home, and certainly well-versed in using the Adult Chair in our marriage, his insights on how the Adult Chair support him at work with his peers are illuminating (if I do say so myself!). Join us, and share your thoughts! This was a really fun conversation and we’re looking forward to more — how is the Adult Chair supporting you at home and at work? XO, Michelle

Today I’m celebrating my friends! A few weeks back I shared an incredible meal with some of my closest friends and, if you’re a listener of this show you can imagine what came up: The Adult Chair. We got to talking about how we can use the Adult Chair to remove blocks and create new pathways for love and growth. Later that day, one of the women at brunch called me to tell me about how she was able to use the Adult Chair model in her own life that afternoon! She was kind enough to allow me to share that conversation with you all today. So thank you to “Liz” for your willingness to share your experience and teach the rest of us in the process!

We all get lost. It’s perfectly natural as human beings to get stuck in the forest, to get scared of the dark, to get lonely and feel our courage drift away. As our guest today so rightly shares, “we have to get used to the weirdness of being human beings.” That’s when we’re able to find the strength, the motivation, the courage to make change in our lives and approach the world with strength. I’m so excited to introduce you all to Dr. Ted Klontz. Ted is a psychologist based in Nashville and he’s here today because he’s a pioneer in the development and application of tools and techniques that help people to change their troublesome behaviors. He’s an author, having written or contributed to six books on Behavioral Finance, and is co-founder of Your Mental Wealth™ and the Financial Psychology Institute™. He’s a published researcher, speaker, trainer and facilitator, and he travels the world working with professional athletes, entertainers, high profile families, couples, and individuals, as well as the average citizen. As a participant in Ted’s workshops I can tell you first hand that his work is truly transformational, and I’m proud to introduce him to The Adult Chair audience today! Links & Notes Dr. Ted Klontz Ted’s Courses at Creighton for Financial Services Professionals

This week’s show comes courtesy of a listener with some incredibly important questions around addiction, living with family suffering with addictive behaviors, and forgiving an emotionally distant parent. These are HUGE questions, as you can imagine, but unfortunately all too familiar issues for so many of us.  We have a two part answer on the show. First, my own story, which I hope you can relate to and learn from. Second, I offer some of the tools and the framework you’ll need to move through the chairs, and walk through negative feelings into forgiveness. Thank you so much for writing in and keep those questions coming! Links & Notes Bataka Bats

Just because we might be considered adults chronologically doesn’t mean we’re always acting our age! That’s the psychological trick of the Chairs, and this week I hope to give you all some clarification. Our goal here is to uncover where we are at any given moment, which chair we’re using to relate to the world, and get to know that part of us free from judgement.  Our Adolescent Chair is here to protect you. Get to know it, thank it, then let it know that you’ve got this and can move into your Adult Chair. Today, we’re talking about finding that Adult Chair before the trap door closes and we’re stuck using our more limited adolescent skills, and we define some of the skills required to maintain our sense of center and stay in our Adult. Links & Notes Belly Breath: Diaphragmatic Breathing

It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you Dr. Dodge Rea, the originator of The GRACE Sequence. This is one of the most powerful, easy-to-use techniques for emotional relief that I have found. I am always on the hunt for tools to help get us unstuck and in our Adult Chair — the GRACE Sequence is one of those tools. Let’s face it, life can be hard. We get stuck and can fall victim to the pitfalls of life that lead to emotional pain from which we can’t get out of it. Dodge has collected a one-of-a-kind, easy-to-use set of tools that helps with getting us unstuck. If you are struggling with something and can’t seem to find relief, try the GRACE Sequence — I believe you will be just as amazed as I am. About Dodge Rea Dodge is an integrative clinical psychologist in Nashville.  He is the co-founder of the Lotus Center, a holistic health center there, and is the originator of what’s become known as the GRACE Sequence, which he has taught to various groups and organizations, including the One-River Wisdom School, as well as individuals for about 10 years now.

You can’t heal negative emotions. They exist, and we all move in and out of them throughout our days, weeks … our whole lives. But with an understanding of the power of mindfulness, it is possible to come to terms with our negative emotions, and to find peace, solace, and understanding. This week on the show, we’re talking about both the internal and external tools you can use to sit in your negative emotions free of judgment and shame. Join us for this conversation, and let’s all invite our emotions to tea! Links & Notes Belly Breath: Diaphragmatic Breathing

Dr. James Wellborn is a clinical psychologist who specializes in individual, family, and group psychotherapy with children and adolescents addressing the range of challenges faced by families and teens during this period of development. In addition to his practice, he’s served as a consultant in schools developing programs to support at risk youth, and he’s a strong advocate on radio, TV and print in helping parents support their child's healthy development. Dr. Wellborn is author of “Raising Teens in the 21st Century: A Practical Guide to Effective Parenting” that serves as a reference for parents address a whole host of teenage issues, and he’s here to talk to us today about the challenges teens face in learning to live in their own Adult Chair.  As our guest today, Jim joins to help us continue our conversation on conscious parenting, this time from the perspective of our teens. From anxiety and social pressures, to technology and networks, to access to porn and other adult material that we’re still learning to counsel through, this conversation is for all parents learning to help their kids transition to healthy adulthood! Links & Notes Raising Teens in the 21st Century: A Practical Guide to Effective Parenting @jamesgwellborn on Twitter jamesgwellbornphd.com

Becoming a conscious parent means getting to know yourself well enough that you don’t let your own emotions get in the way of understanding who your kids are growing up to be. That’s harder than it sounds, and requires you to sit firmly in your Adult Chair the older they get. This week on the show, I’ve got five strategies that will help you not only relate to your kids without judgment, but understand them and protect them, too!

Forgiveness is a deeply personal thing. But whether you label yourself as a “forgiving person” because you’re afraid of conflict in the adolescent chair, or living in an authentically forgiving place in the adult chair is determined first and foremost by whether we’re allowing ourselves to feel our feelings! So many of us are afraid of our feelings, afraid of the way our emotions move through us. This week on the show, we’re talking about how to see inside ourselves from the adult chair, to move clearly into the truth, and move forward with strong relationships with the people you with whom you’re seeking a forgiving relationship.

Some days, it just feels like the world is conspiring against you. These are the days that shake our confidence, our sense of peace, our ability to relate to others — they’re the worst! The trick to living in The Adult Chair is not developing some magical skill to erase these days from your life. It’s developing the skill to recognize when you’ve been knocked out of The Adult Chair, and to move yourself back into it to rediscover your Seat of Power! Today on the show, I’m sharing my own Day of Days and some key strategies I use to find my way back to my Adult Chair. And as a special bonus, listen all the way to the end for a conversation with Nancy, a client who has so graciously allowed me to record her work in moving back into her own seat of Power. If you’re interesting in the real, practical work that goes into living into the Adult Chair, you can’t get any more real than this!

It’s February! With all the talk of love in the air leading into this Valentine’s Day weekend, we thought it just the right time to share our own spin on romance: learning to date yourself! This is such an important concept, and it challenges one of the fundamental marketing messages of romantic partnership: the truth is, we don’t find a partner to complete us! That’s a trap! Don’t fall for it! This week, we’ll tell you all about it, and give you the tools you need to date yourself first, so you’ll be a better partner for someone else!

Envision Only Positive Outcomes So says Tony Burroughs this week as we continue our conversation on intentionality. Tony’s work is all around intentions; he’s co-founder of The Intenders of the Highest Good and one of his greatest gifts to all of us is the practice of the Intender’s Circles, now a global community of people joining together to envision a better world, and find greater personal alignment in it. We’ve put a bunch of links to Tony’s work below, including his original — and inspirational — book, The Code. Check it out, and start your own Intender’s Circle today! Links & Notes What you Need to Know Now: The Lee Ching Messages The Code: Use the Laws of Manifestation to Achieve Your Highest Good The Bridge The Vision Alignment Project Intenders The Intenders of the Highest Good Tony Burroughs

It’s January! With the turn of the New Year come all sorts of promises we make to ourselves as we look to make change in our lives. From losing weight to desires of greater mindfulness, these resolutions are signposts that we’ve crossed another year off the calendar. Painful truth: Resolutions don’t work! After 30 days, 75% of our resolutions have been long forgotten. In this podcast we discuss what does work, INTENTION! More than they typically fly-by-night ideas of the mind, intentions come from deep within us and they stick. Join us this week as we discuss the difference the real power of intention, kicking off a series of great conversations to come!

Want to learn how to de-stress and find balance in the holiday season or anytime throughout the year?  Meditation is a wonderful practice that can do this for you.  So many of us shy away from meditation as we don’t know how, don’t have time, etc. Pete and I have a discussion on these obstacles and others as well as the benefits and “How To’s” of meditation. Included in the next podcast is a guided meditation for de-stress, anxiety and overwhelm.   

When we look outside of ourselves for validation for who we are, we become dependent on others for our sense of self and happiness. When we learn to self-validate, we become internally strong in knowing who we are. We easily access our faults, with little to no effort. When asked what's good about us or what our positive strengths are, we scramble and have to stretch our minds to muster up even one positive about ourselves. In this podcast Michelle touches on projection, self esteem and the power of self validation and how it can build a solid foundation for our lives.  

“If I don’t learn to take care of myself, who will?" Boundaries and confrontations are two very different things. One teaches others how we want to be treated and the other is getting in someone’s face to elicit change. Which one sounds better to you? In this podcast, we discuss the difference between the two and what, how and why it’s important to learn how to set effective boundaries. Unfortunately, most of us weren’t taught how to set boundaries so when we are faced with upsets or hurt we typically do one of the following: “suck it up" (and pretend nothing has happened), shun the person that hurt us and disown them or get angry, yell and/or rage. There is a healthier way! This episode explains how.

Need help with a relationship? Whether it be your partner, family member, or friend, this information will shift how you interact in relationships. In today’s podcast we discuss ways to improve relationships using techniques from the Adult Chair model. They are simple, easy to understand, empowering, and cultivate true connection. Join us for a conversation that will not only change your troubled relationship, but transform how you interact with everyone.

We get triggered, feel painful emotions and go into “fix it mode.” The answer to our triggers and pain is to find the core emotion and go into it. This is where true healing occurs. Bonding with our Inner Child is the only way to do this. In this episode, I have an excerpt from a session with “Sarah” who is learning about the chairs and how to bond with her inner child. It’s the part of the session right after she discovers the feeling of “I don’t matter.” We work with her inner child, bond with her and she ultimately finds peace.

The concept of the Adult Chair is simple. We live in the moment, in fact and truth, set healthy boundaries, feel empowered and we become an observer of our lives (and not stuck in the drama) and make decisions for our lives. Sounds like a wonderful idea, right!? What happens when we get stuck? When we feel overwhelmed, not in our bodies, scared, can’t think straight, afraid to make the wrong decision etc. How then can I bring in my adult? In today’s podcast we discuss ways to do this. To find peace and regain balance in a storm.

Walking the spiritual path is not easy. It’s not instant. It takes practice and dedication. These are the truths of awakening that sometimes plague those on the hunt for instant gratification. More often than not, it’s less a field of wildflowers than a pile of crap! But walking the spiritual path is a journey of reward! In spite of the work and attention required, in all the years I’ve been working with individuals on their own journey, once I’ve seen people truly find their path, I’ve never seen them leave it. This week on The Adult Chair, Pete and I are checking in with a conversation about walking the spiritual path. I hope you find it gives you hope. Whatever you’re dealing with in your life, you are never alone! We’re in the middle of our own summer break, and will be back with regular episodes in September. Until then, I wish you all peace!

We are beings of energy. It’s how we get up and out of bed in the morning, how we make it through our days, and how we recharge in sleep at night. Our state of being — and our ability to heal — is largely depended on the way we are able to channel and process our energy. That’s why I’m so excited to have Sarah Weiss of the SpiritHeal Institute on the show with us today. With Sarah, I’d like to introduce the concept of grounding on the show, an incredibly important energy practice that can help you find your true self. We talk about our own energy, what it means to ground, the critical role of relaxation — and how the vast majority of us don’t really know how to relax! This episode is a bit longer than normal. Sarah gives us the gift of a grounding meditation at about 11 minutes in. I hope, once you listen to this episode, that you’ll keep it around and practice your own grounding with Sarah. As a holistic healer, I love this topic, and can have no better partner on the show today to introduce it than Sarah Weiss! About Sarah Weiss, MA, LMT Sarah Weiss, MA, LMT, founder of the SpiritHeal Institute awakens heart centered living and intuitive wisdom in her clients and students. She is a “practical mystic” and recognized teacher in the Sufi Path, the Andean Q’ero tradition and the Taoist lineage. Sarah serves as a healer, spiritual mentor, medical intuitive and retreat guide illuminating the path for those who are called to discover the light, depth and power of the heart.

Our guest today is J. Tamar Stone. I’m so excited to introduce Tamar’s work to you today as she is not only capable of amazing things, her concept of Voice Dialogue and Body Dialogue fit absolutely perfectly into the work we’re doing in The Adult Chair! Tamar walks us through her process of finding our primary and disowned selves and shows us how we uncover our sensitive inner child. Here’s a bit from Tamar’s website: "From the perspective of the Psychology of Selves, there is no such thing as a good Self or a bad Self, or even a false Self; all Selves are created equal. Voice Dialogue, which is based on the Psychology of Selves and the Aware Ego Process, is a technique for giving voice to each of the Selves." Our conversation is wonderful and instructive today so take a few minutes, find a space of peace, and join us in The Adult Chair!

This week on the show, we’re taking on the Law of Attraction. You may have heard of the Law of Attraction as it was popularized in the book, “The Secret,” just about a decade ago. There is a lot to like about this concept that like attracts like, but I have some problems with the author’s handling of attraction that I believe limits us in the way we approach living a focused life, and putting our beliefs to work for us. This week, we’re talking all about the Law of Attraction and I share a great big lesson that can help you develop focus while not allowing yourself to be undermined by your own subconscious!

Timing is everything, right? And just in time for Mother’s Day, we have an amazing conversation with an amazing woman and healer. Bethany Webster joins us on The Adult Chair to introduce us to the Mother Wound. Stemming from our early years — birth to 7 — the mother wound can dramatically impact our most important relationships, from our relationship with our selves to our partners and spouses to our children as they grow up. This week on the show, we introduce the powerful concepts that drive healing of the mother wound and reveal the strength that can come from a fully realized mother relationship for women and men alike! About Bethany Webster Bethany Webster is a writer, transformational coach, international speaker and what you could call a midwife of the heart. Her work is focused on helping women heal the "mother wound" so that they can step into their full feminine power and potential. In addition to writing and teaching internationally, Bethany offers online courses and a private coaching program for women leaders who desire to take a quantum leap in their leadership. You can learn more about Bethany on her website, Womb of Light.

Karen Campion is one of my very favorite people. She’s a holistic therapist and her inner child and alternative therapies have helped so many people find peace and freedom from pain in their lives. I’ve invited her to join us today to share her amazing story of recovery from a life of incredible pain, and her journey through her own inner child connection that lead her to physical recovery. My deepest hope for this conversation is that you’re able to see Karen’s story as a model for your own road to peace and health. It’s a wonderful conversation with a beautiful spirit!

I had a conversation with my husband this week that got me thinking about connections. Human connections. So this week on the show I want to talk about how we support one another when we need it most, when we’re reacting from our child or adolescent chair and we need to be heard and supported the most. This is also a discussion about how to support. That’s a very different skill, learning when to listen, when to love, and when to support from our adult chair. And even more important, how to listen without letting our partner’s emotions land squarely on us. I love this conversation. My clients consistently open new doors to deeper connections with their partners when they engage these key new skills, and I’m sure you'll find treasure in it too!

I can’t wait for you to hear this podcast—it may be the most fun I've had hearing Pete have his mind blown! This week, we're talking about EFT, or "Emotional Freedom Technique." You may have heard of it referred to as tapping for short, and it's one of my favorite tools for helping my clients break free from anxiety, depression, generalized stress — even physical pain and performance issues! It involves tapping along your meridian system with your fingertips — the very same meridians you may be familiar with in acupuncture — to help move clogged emotional energy through your system. First things first, listen to this show. Pete was dealing with shoulder pain related to an injury and I talk him through EFT to address it. After you do that, head over to my resources page here for a quick video walkthrough I recorded just for you! You'll be up and running, tapping away stress, anxiety, frustration, cravings, and so, so much more in no time!

We strive to be whole and complete but deny the parts of us that embarrass us, that we hate and try and hide. These are our shadow parts. It is impossible to feel whole without embracing the shadow parts inside us. This week on the show, Pete and I talk about the shadow, how to move into a mode of discovery, to unlock and embrace the secrets of our shadow, and work to become whole.

Over the last few weeks, we’ve addressed some powerful topics. From approaching anxiety, to codependency, and finally love addiction/love avoidance. In each of these areas, our approach has been to discern where our emotional response sits — our child or adolescent — and invite them to sit in the adult chair, to approach these challenges from a position of rationality and confidence. But accessing our inner child is not always easy, nor is it always comfortable without some help. That’s why this week on the show, Michelle offers a meditation, a guide on your journey to reach your inner child. Sit back, close your eyes, and reach out with grace to a smaller inner-you.

Love addiction and love avoidance define the relationship struggles for many of us as we enter deeper emotional connection throughout the course of our lives. These are damaging patterns and represent a long-running struggle to move from our adolescent to our adult chair as we learn to cultivate love with others in our lives. This week on the show, we’re honored to have Sarah Bridge on the show. Sarah is a therapist and expert in love addiction/love avoidance. She joins us today to help frame these concepts and share her approach to helping others learn to love more authentically in her own practice. Links & Notes Sarah Bridge, MSW, LSCW Growing Yourself Back Up — John Lee

Codependency represents a range of social and emotional behaviors generally described as an emotional or psychological reliance on another — a spouse, partner, teacher, friend, and so on — where the well-being of one is connected to the well-being of another. I’m only OK if you’re OK. But codependency is a sign that we may not be living from our adult chair. This week, we take on codependent behavior from the perspective of the chairs, and talk about how stunted emotional growth can keep us living in our adolescent when it comes to some of the most important relationships of our lives. Join us, and share your learning with us, too!

Anxiety is a demon. It is the state in which we live uncomfortably between a past we will never have again, and a future fraught with uncertainty. But growing a stronger relationship with our inner-adolescent can pay dividends far beyond casual nerves. This week on The Adult Chair, Michelle Chalfant and Pete Wright discuss anxiety and fear, demonstrated through the courage of “Lola” — a woman learning to combat the anxiety in her own life, willing to work with Michelle while being recorded to share here. Thanks to Lola, and to all who listen!

Addictions are subtle, insidious monsters, and they can take roost inside all of us. We’re not just talking about the addictions we see in movies or television. We’re not just talking about the addictions we sleight, either. We’re talking about our broad human inability to deal with pain, and how that pain manifests in our lives in destructive ways. This week on the show, Michelle leads us through the high level story of addiction and shares techniques for spotting addictive behavior, and uncovering the pain that sits beneath the surface. It’s a terrific conversation that sets the stage for more addiction in coming episodes, so tune in this week!

The strongest relationships in our lives come when we are able to communicate with our partner from our adult chair, and they are communicating with us from their own. This week on the show, Michelle teaches us how to approach our partner as a support rather than a cheerleader. We roll-play on the show this week, demonstrating and deconstructing a partner conversation and illustrate some key concepts that will absolutely change the way you communicate with your friends, partners, and spouse. Join us!  

This week on the show, we’re talking about stories. An example: You’re on the highway. Someone races up next to you and cuts into your lane. You’re surprised and scared for an instant, which leads to frustration — and maybe anger. That person is rude, oblivious, stupid, probably didn’t see you because they don’t care about others in their lives. … and so on, and so on. This is your story. A story you’ve made up about a person you have never met, based only on a split second fear reaction. These are the stories we tell ourselves to help us rationalize our reality. This week on the show, Michelle Chalfant shares where these stories come from, why it’s so important to understand how they impact us, and offers insight to help us face our stories and let them go!  

Of all the relationships in our lives, the relationship we carry on with our self is most notable. It is the one relationship that is with us all our lives, through our highs and lows, and yet it is most often neglected, ridiculed, or downgraded. To reach peace and concert with the world around us, we must first reach peace with the world inside us. Today on the show, Michelle Chalfant shares her process for helping others to determine the source of inner struggle through a challenging and practical experience leading Pete through some of his fears as a father. Want to connect with us? We'd love to discuss your questions on the show. Here's how! The Adult Chair on iTunes Michelle Chalfant on Facebook Michelle Chalfant on Twitter Pete Wright on Twitter  

Happy holidays to all! And with the holiday season upon us, let’s make a collective promise to keep cool heads as we’re tossed in all sorts of crazy directions! To do that, we have to understand our triggers. Triggers are the emotionally charged reactions that we have when our comfortable state of “normal” is somehow tested. Did someone cut you off recklessly on the highway? Did you feel that surge of anger? That’s a trigger. Did you find out all your friends were invited to a holiday party and you weren’t? Did you feel that surge of jealousy? Another trigger! This week on the show, we’re talking about triggers, how they hit us, how we can better understand them, and most importantly how we can create a new habit of curiosity in our triggers as we learn to understand ourselves in the process!    

Over the past two weeks, our conversation has centered on the child and adolescent chairs, moving from the creativity and trust of the child to the judgment and doubt of the adolescent. Today, we take on our namesake, the adult chair. The adult speaks in truth and fact. The adult is conscious, connected to the higher self. The adult is our keen observer, rational and patient. This week, we offer an exploration of the adult, and share insights into how the adult supports our growth from child and adolescent every day.  

The adolescent represents the formative emotional years erupting from the child. The adolescent is developing the ego, conceptualizing right and left brain activity, and is tested through new experiences of fear. But there are some terrific strengths of the adolescent, and coming to terms with this part of us can bring greater balance and overall emotional health. This week on The Adult Chair, Michelle Chalfant and Pete Wright talk about the critical developmental milestones of the adolescent and provide a foundation for understanding when we’re getting stuck in our adolescent chair as adults.

As humans, we’ve worked for years to understand our inner child and the role the child plays in our adult psyche. It can be an enormous and elusive challenge, facing our child as we struggle with what challenges us as adults. Why is understanding the role of the child important to our overall emotional balance and health? This week on The Adult Chair, Michelle introduces us to the child chair and brings into focus the path we can take to discover our relationship with our own inner child as we continue our series on the three chairs.

Welcome to The Adult Chair with Michelle Chalfant. Michelle Chalfant has been a seeker her whole life. Through her own journey of discovery and her decades of work as a therapist, she has developed an approach to understanding the struggles we all experience as we move through the world each day. In The Adult Chair, we’ll be using Michelle’s framework as a foundation for better understanding our relationship with ourselves. Along the way, we’ll host an ongoing conversation around stress, anxiety, physical health, and how our understanding of ourselves impacts the most important relationships in our lives. This week on The Adult Chair, Michelle shares a bit of her own story with Pete Wright, the story that lead to this podcast. She introduces the chair model — originally created by Susan Austin Crumpton, one of Michelle's most inspirational teachers — and how this model inspires her own work to this day. She provides an overview to her guided approach to living authentically that she uses with clients each day. For more information on Susan Austin-Crumpton, visit The Estuary.