Greg and Bella get a lesson in ethical consumerism from Design and Technology teacher Mr Brandy. They'll start by looking at their own purchasing decisions: what's the last item they bought and why? They'll look at the oldest items in their wardrobes to see what that might tell us about how sustainable our current fashions are. As a case study, they'll take a look at the phone industry and discuss the ways we can beat planned obsolescence. For the practical element of today's lesson, Mr Brandy will challenge Greg and Bella to set up their own fast fashion brand: coming up with a name and a product line, but also making some difficult decisions about manufacturing, shipping and packaging. Will they choose the more ethical, higher investment option, or will they leave ethics at the door in pursuit of profit? Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with the podcast - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Following the release of her latest album, 'Midnights', Greg and Bella find out if Taylor Swift is a great poet, as well as a great songwriter. English teacher Miss Tiddy is a Taylor Swift superfan, with an encyclopedic knowledge of Taylor Swift's music (and dating history!). In this lesson, she'll use techniques familiar from English Language GCSE to dissect Taylor's lyrics, such as assonance, alliteration and pathetic fallacy. With the help of Shakespearean actor Olivia Vinall, Taylor's lyrics are brought to life and put under the microscope by Miss Tiddy - are Taylor's songs just nice words strung together, or are they actually poetry? Fellow Swiftie Jeremy Vine pops by to host a game of Taylor Swift vs Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and Miss Tiddy continues the comparison to the greats by looking at the similarities between Taylor and Lord Byron, Wordsworth, Robert Frost and Shakespeare. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with the podcast - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

It's a Halloween special as Forensic Anthropologist and now secondary school science teacher Miss Robinson gives Greg and Bella a lesson about how to grow a human skeleton. Miss Robinson will welcome Greg and Bella into her Forensics lab, to show them a host of props and remains to see what they can teach us about our bones. Along the way, they'll find out what your bones are made of, how they are formed, what happens if you break one, and how possible it is to grow them back if something happens to one of them. And Bella asks, can we grow a skeleton in a lab? There will be lots of amazing facts, some grizzly stories and plenty of laughs along the way as Greg and Bella share their stories of broken bones and marvel at just how long it takes to grow a full skeleton. At the end of the episode, they’ll find out what happens to the skeleton when the body doesn’t need it anymore – meeting the oldest human-ish skeleton ever discovered – Lucy. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with the podcast - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

IT teacher Mr Kolawole teaches his favourite lesson to Greg and Bella – after 18 months of WFH, home learning and video calls – could we ever live our whole lives online? He starts by looking at our current internet and social media usage, encouraging Greg and Bella to bare all when it comes to their own screen time figures. He then discusses Dunbar's Number - the idea that humans only have the capacity for a certain number of real life connections - and how the internet might be a brilliant way of finding your own tribe. They'll discuss the potential of the Metaverse and the experiences that could be possible there. To end the lesson, he introduces Greg and Bella to a thought experiment put forward by philosopher Robert Nozick in the 1970s called The Pleasure Machine, to find out what they would make of a world where we get everything our hearts desire, without question. Is this a healthy way to live? Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with the podcast - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg and Bella explore the science of extinction with the help of dinosaur enthusiast Mr Yates. Together, they’ll look at some famous recent extinctions, find out what role conservation plays in the preservation of species, and explore the major mass extinction events that shaped our world today. They’ll also look at just how possible it might be to bring lost species back to life – is the film Jurassic Park science fact or just science fiction? They’ll meet the animals that have somehow managed to defy extinction – what set them apart from the species that didn’t make it to today? And finally, we’ll take what we’ve learnt and apply it to the human race – are we at risk of our own major extinction event? What will our world look like in the future? Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with the podcast - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg and Bella are back with a brand-new term of teachers teaching their favourite lesson! To kick us off we have RE teacher Mr Bonfield with a lesson about sadness – why do we need it? To mark World Mental Health Day, Mr Bonfield looks to three great philosophers - Aristotle, Nietzsche and Schopenhauer - to see what they thought the point of sadness was. Wouldn't the world be a happier place without sadness? Or could understanding sadness be the secret to unlocking happiness? As the lesson unfolds, Greg and Bella find out what Pixar films, superheroes, and pop songs can teach us about sadness - and find out why a whale called Blue 52 might be the saddest animal on the planet. They’ll explore why the colour blue is linked with sadness, discuss the things that make them cry and talk about the historical heroes who lead their best lives despite the challenges they faced. Greg also reflects on how the poem Guesthouse by the ancient poet Rumi changed how he thinks about sadness, and Bella talks about her own experiences with anxiety. Mr Bonfield ends the lesson by finding out what Greg and Bella’s strategies are for beating the blues – from exercise to laughing with friends, being creative to having a hug. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with the podcast - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

In the last lesson before the summer break, Greg and Bella get schooled in penalties by primary school teacher Miss Sheridan. Can they find out how to score the perfect penalty before the summer holidays? Miss Sheridan will share how she and her students spend a whole week on this one topic, looking at it across the curriculum. Skimming history, geography, psychology, maths, biology and English, Greg and Bella will learn about the origins of the penalty shoot-out and the countries who pioneered it; they'll uncover the psychology behind the perfect penalty and hear about how hugs can help! We'll also find out the most important part of the body to use when taking a penalty, and why you should never turn your back on a goalie! Plus just how quickly should you take one? Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with the podcast - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg and Bella welcome back Drama teacher Mr Yale with a lesson about the year 1968. '68 might seem to fall through the history books - dwarfed by other more dramatic years - but Mr Yale is here to make a case for it being a turning point year. Vietnam and the Space Race were in the news; Oliver! was on the cinema screens; and the Theatres Act 1968 lead to this year being known as the "Year Zero for British Theatre" with the first performance of Hair the Musical taking the West End by storm (starring none other than Elaine Paige!). Mr Yale will use these real events as a springboard to take Greg and Bella through some classic drama practicals - from who can best embody the voice of a significant object from '68 - to is Bella brave enough to let Greg catch her when she falls? Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Award-winning Miss Jethmalani recruits Greg and Bella to her vampire slaying research team! What's the best way to kill a vampire - with a string of garlic, or with a GCSE Science textbook? Outstanding New Teacher of the Year 2021, Miss Jethmalani is perfectly placed to put the nail in the coffin of the vampire myth. With new recruits Greg and Bella by her side, she'll use the science of enzymes to take apart the myth of the vampire piece by piece. Why is it impossible to be immortal? Enzymes. Why do bodies decompose? Enzymes. What makes garlic smell? Enzymes! After investigating vampire bats, and just how possible it would be for a human to turn into a bat, Miss Jethmalani will discuss the most plausible root of the myth - a condition called porphyria - which is caused by malfunctioning enzymes (of course!). Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your pictures - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

To mark Windrush Day 2022, our resident history teacher Miss Patel is back for a lesson all about the Windrush Generation. In this lesson Greg and Bella will hear about the reality of life in post-war Britain and the Caribbean; the British recruitment campaigns that encouraged people to book their passage on boats like the Windrush; and they'll hear about the ship itself and it's surprising history. Miss Patel will talk about the passengers who boarded the Windrush itself - including a stowaway - and the welcome that they found once they arrived at Tillbury Docks on the 22nd June 1948. We'll hear the challenges they faced, and the amazing women who ought to be as well known as Rosa Parks, including Olive Morris, Altheia Jones-LeCointe and Paulette Wilson. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg and Bella are joined by award-winning Biology teacher Miss Wilsher for a lesson all about tattoos! By looking at how a tattoo works, we'll find out about the different layers of your skin and how pain works; we'll also hear about the chequered history of tattooing and it's ancient origins. Lacrosse-fan Miss Wilsher will share the science behind why a tattoo stays put, how to stop them fading and - at the other end of a tattoo's life - how laser removal works. Otzi the Iceman makes a reappearance, and Greg and Bella will share their own tattoo stories - from embarrassing first tattoos to Greg's blink-and-you'll-miss it wrist tattoo.

Greg and Bella are back with a brand new term of teachers giving their favourite lessons! Today it's Maths with former semi-professional footballer Mr Grindrod. In a lesson all about sequences, patterns and ratios, we'll find out how much maths goes into the things we find beautiful. From beautiful flowers, to beautiful buildings, artworks and even faces! We'll learn about the Golden Ratio, a magic number called phi and the Fibonacci Sequence. And we'll also find out just how obsessed with maths DaVinci was! Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your pictures - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Professional breakdancer and Physics teacher Mr Ceeraz invites Greg and Bella to an end-of-term cheese-but-no-wine party, as they attempt to find the speed of light using cheese slices and a microwave. Physics fanatic Mr Ceeraz promises that his lessons are never dull as he injects plenty of puns, amazing visual aids and lots of dancing to help his students get to grips with complex subjects - like the speed of light and the electromagnetic spectrum. In today's episode, Mr Ceeraz will play a game with Greg and Bella all about speed which will help them understand just how fast the speed of light is. He'll crack out the cheese strings to explore the structure of waves, share his actions to the legendary Electromagnetic Spectrum song from YouTube and discuss the different waves that make up the spectrum. Plus, he'll introduce Greg to a website which shows you how far a radio broadcast has travelled into space (Greg's first show is REALLY far away!) and share an amazing do-it-yourself experiment using cheese slices and your kitchen's microwave to help anyone find the speed of light. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your pictures - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg and Bella return for 2022 with a special lesson from primary school teacher Miss Osueke all about the heart. Award-winning Miss Osueke will take us on a guided tour of the cardiovascular system, and challenge Greg and Bella to come up with new ways of remembering parts of the heart. Join Greg and Bella in the task to find your resting heart rate and the 'in-lesson' exercise to increase it. Learn about the surprisingly valuable contents of our blood, including a precious metal which can be found in your mobile phone! We'll also find out about the ways in which emotional heartbreak can have real medical implications, as Greg and Bella share their stories of young heartbreak. Hear about the work of early heart surgery pioneer, Daniel Hale Williams, plus Miss Osueke's shock lupus diagnosis and the open heart surgery that saved her life. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

English teacher Mrs Steele gives Greg and Bella a lesson about just how gross life was in Shakespeare's day. Greg and Bella will work out if they could survive a day in Elizabethan London; hear about the crazy ideas that informed early medicine and their unlikely cures; find out how women's health was treated differently and see how all these ideas played out in the theatre of the day. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie head back to the art room for a lesson from Miss Green about how art and music collide. They'll hear about how the great painters like Picasso and Van Gogh were inspired by music, share their own memories of how music has shaped their lives, find out about synaesthesia and how it shapes the work of artists like Kandinsky and musicians like Billie Eilish. They'll discover the ways in which art and music have intertwined over the past 100 years, resulting in movements like Psychedelia, Pop Art and Punk. Plus, hear about how the K-Pop group BTS are supporting contemporary art and find out which musicians have the most impressive art collections in the world. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

With the help of drama teacher Mr Yale, Greg and Bella find out how to escape stereotyping to become their true selves. They'll look at the birth of stereotypes in drama and find out why soaps and reality TV still love using them today. They'll talk about their own experiences of conforming to and escaping stereotypes, and hear about the ways other people have defeated typecasting. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

In a Geography lesson like no other, DI Greg James and DCI Bella Mackie investigate how human bodies can be preserved for thousands of years, with the help of Superintendent McCulloch. Together, they will look at some of the famous cases of naturally preserved human bodies from history - including the Tollund Man, King Tut and the plaster casts of Pompeii - to find out how they died and why their bodies were so well-preserved for so many years. They'll look at how decomposition works and the factors that can speed it up or slow it down; and along the way they'll discuss the carbon cycle, how fossil fuels are formed, and find out what it's like to be caught in a volcano's pyroclastic flow... Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg and Bella are back with a another slightly terrifying Computing lesson from Mrs Cunningham-Smith, this time looking at how much we can trust our own eyes. They'll share their own favourite photos of each other; open the history books for a glimpse at one of the earliest examples of catfishing and find out which incredibly famous photo of a US President is actually a fake; they'll talk about the modern dangers of deepfakes, and find out how filters and retouching can lead to dysmorphia; and they'll discuss the lengths they go to for the perfect selfie. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie take a lesson in genetics from Biology teacher Ms Marwick. Greg and Bella look at the science behind DNA, find out why loving cheese is a secret super power, and discover how genetic manipulation could help humans fly, go invisible or even freeze themselves. The discussion turns to what superpowers they would like each other to have, and would they... could they... clone Barney the Dog? We also hear about the Dark Lady of DNA, Rosalind Franklin, and discover how she set the groundwork for Watson and Crick's discovery of the double helix, which picked up a Nobel Prize in 1962. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie don their best spy gear for a lesson in wartime espionage from History teacher Miss Patel. Greg (Codename: Agent BaeWhizz) and Bella (00-PAL) learn how wartime recruits to the secretive Special Operations Executive (SOE) were trained up and prepared for covert activities in occupied Europe. They’ll acquire cover stories, costumes and gadgets – possibly including some exploding rats – and discover how much these real-life stories, like the amazing Noor Inayat Khan and Virginia Hall, inspired the likes of James Bond and the modern-day SAS. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie are back with a new term of inspiring teachers, mind-blowing lessons and just a tiny bit of bickering. This week it's sociology with Mrs Sewell, as Greg and Bella ask ‘how equal is your house?’ Find out why Greg not picking up his pants might be a feminist issue, why the Simpsons are so useful to sociologists, the surprising link between Greg’s love of baths and equality, and why Bluey’s dad from CBeebies is Mrs Sewell’s hero. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's art with Ms Bates, who poses the question 'Can advertising be art?' as a way of starting a conversation about Pop Art - where did it come from? Why does it endure? And does being involved in advertising compromise an artist? We also find out which artwork Greg and Bella would shove a granny to get hold of (although they'd like to clarify that they would rather just pay for it). Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk. We'll read out some of our favourites in our BBC Sounds exclusive bonus episodes, Teach Me A Lesson - Break Time.

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's physics with Mr Hardie, who takes Greg and Bella through the science we need to understand in order to establish a human colony on the moon. You'll also find out how many seconds of fuel Neil Armstrong had left when he landed on the moon, how much it costs per kilo to send something there, and how rich we would all be if we shared a mineral-rich asteroid. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's psychology with Mrs Harrowell, who explains how memory works to Greg and Bella - demonstrating her points by testing their recollections of everyday objects and iconic film quotes, and teaching them a dance that means they'll never forget the name of a part of the brain they'd never heard of before this lesson. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's chemistry with Miss Assinder, who explores the idea that weeing on a jellyfish sting will neutralise the pain. Listen to the end to find out how much you need - and along the way you'll find out how Greg and Bella want to be disposed of after their death, how to get your kids to clean the bathroom, and how long it takes to dissolve a mouse. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's maths with Mr Fisher (call him Rob) who teaches Greg and Bella why it really annoys him when people say "that's SO random", when the things in question aren't random. Along the way we learn what random actually means, with examples from the National Lottery and playlist shuffle, and why humans are so bad at choosing things randomly. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's languages with Miss Morris, who teaches Greg and Bella about foreign languages - the sounds, the words, and the structures that make other languages different to English. It's essential listening for broadening your understanding of language, and for making sure you don't accidentally tell a French person they've got a nice bum. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's biology with Dr Monks, who teaches Greg and Bella why we get ill. The lesson reveals what a germ actually is, the pivotal role pubs have played in keeping us safe, and discusses why it could be important to stick your fingers in dog poo. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's Computer Science with Mrs Cunningham-Smith (Mrs C-S to you). She talks Greg and Bella through how computers have developed to the point they're currently at, and how algorithms actually work. We also find out how a woman in the 1840s created TikTok - and we find out exactly how Greg James crushed the dreams of a 16-month-old child. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's history with Miss Patel. Her lesson is about the incredible Edith Garrud, a martial arts instructor who taught suffragettes how to defend themselves back in the 1910s, in a story involving cudgels, barbed wire, and a targeted campaign against policemen's helmets. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's Religious Studies with Mr Kundi. He asks Greg and Bella if they believe in love at first sight, and then explores what marriage means to different religious communities to see if that changes their view on what love means. We also hear how Greg and Bella got together, why their wedding was "functional", and why Greg might be willing to ghost his own hypothetical child. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's English Language with Miss Hughes, as Greg and Bella are taught how to win an argument with RuPaul, a lesson which takes in ancient Greece, RuPaul's Drag Race, and a restaurant that caused Greg and Bella's longest-running argument. Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

Greg James and Bella Mackie didn’t pay much attention at school. So they’re asking Britain’s most inspiring teachers to show them what they missed in this series of fascinating and fun lessons. This week it's psychology with Miss Gammack, as Greg and Bella explore the question: Are people born evil? Bad students of all ages are welcome. Expect brilliant teachers, captivating subjects but absolutely no homework. Get in touch with your funny school stories and teacher recommendations - email us at teachme@bbc.co.uk

With an all-killer, no-filler syllabus, learn something new every week with Greg James and Bella Mackie. Expect brilliant teachers, lots of laughs and absolutely no homework.