S5 Episode 7: If You Need to Sell the Relationship to Your Partner, it isn’t Worth Buying Episode SummarySuccessful relationships take work.  Both people have to be open to understanding their partner’s wants and needs.  If one member of the partnership is not interested in meeting the other’s expectations, then trying to force a relationship will be a futile endeavor.  You should never have to convince your partner of your value, nor should you try to morph yourself into someone you think they want. No person likes a hard sell.  It reeks of desperation and feels manipulative.  A forced relationship that is not the right fit will be full of resentment and ripe for abuse.  Moreover, why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who is not willing to put in the time and effort?  Even if you get what you want in the short term, it will feel like settling to your partner and eventually to you.  If a person does not want to commit to you, do not take it personally.  You may be exactly what they are looking for, but the timing or circumstances prevent them from acting on their feelings.  Ultimately, both individuals have to be on the same page and share the same mindset for the relationship to move forward.At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how frustrating it is when men do not realize how difficult it is to be a woman in today’s society.  Show NotesWhat’s the secret to finding the right partner? One way to approach it is to imagine yourself as a product. When you’re dating, you’re putting yourself out there—marketing yourself. The other people out there may see you or “the product” and realize you’re exactly what they’re looking for, know you’re not right for them, or even be somewhere in the middle. However, you should never have to convince another person of your value. If they don’t see what you offer, why chase after them? You’re not a sale item—you’re full-priced! You should never accept being a second choice or a backup. If you are being realistic about what you offer, don’t settle for less. Acting desperate or trying harder to make a relationship work is not the answer. People can pick up on a hard sell from a mile away. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are trying too hard, it might be time to walk away. If it doesn’t work out, it’s not about you. It’s about the other person not valuing what you bring to the table. How many people try to shove their foot into a shoe even though it doesn’t fit (metaphorically speaking)? Sometimes people recognize what you’re offering, but it’s still not the right fit. Any amount of effort you put in after that point is a waste of your time and energy. In this episode, the vent session topic is: When men refuse to understand that life is much harder for women. It is a false belief that women have it easier than men. Women deal with societal pressures, physical threats, and economical inequalities—just to name a few. There are always exceptions, but generally speaking, the female existence is vastly different from men’s existence. Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive notifications of new episodes right when they are released. Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.Visit us at www.romancipation.com

S5 Episode 6: Relationship Endgame: Companion, Partner or Caregiver Episode SummaryRomantic relationships are as varied as the people in them.  People come together for a plethora of reasons: companionship, because they are looking for a life partner, or because they want someone to take care of them. While there is no right or wrong type of relationship, you should be honest about what you are really looking for from another person.  Every type of relationship has the potential to evolve or devolve from the original understanding, so be aware of the potential for hurt feelings.  With each relationship, your romantic wants and needs become more refined.  Make sure to clearly communicate and be open to the possibility that your current partner may not be willing or able to meet your expectations. Understanding your relationship endgame will help you avoid entering into relationships that are a mismatch for the future you envision.  For a relationship to be successful, each party needs to be on the same page.  Moreover, it is a mistake to stay in a relationship that is unsatisfactory, just because it fits your endgame. At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when your partner treats the relationship like a competition. Show NotesThinking long term, are you looking for companionship, partnership, or a caregiver? Companionship is having a person to share things with—like experiences and intimacy—without the commitment of the relationship. Partnerships are a committed relationship. A lot of people also look for someone who takes care of them in one way or another, financially for instance. This is the definition of a caregiver. Each of these types of relationships is valid, so long as each person in the relationship is honest. Any of these has the potential to be healthy and successful for both people. The difference with a partnership is that compromise will be necessary, because both people need to have their needs met. Any one of these relationship types can evolve—or devolve. For instance, a partnership can turn into a caregiver relationship. A companionship can turn into a partnership. It’s important to know what your endgame is, as well as the endgame of the other person involved. And remember that you shouldn’t hang your future on hope alone. In some cases, shifting the dynamic of your relationship is the healthier option. For instance, if your relationship isn’t working and you decide to stay together for the kids. Some couples will cohabitate as companions—and that’s perfectly okay if they can do it in a healthy way. In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner treats the relationship like a competition with you. When your partner is always competing with you, they are constantly trying to outdo you. They try to make you jealous, while often they are the ones themselves who are jealous. It makes it difficult to work together towards a common goal. Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive notifications of new episodes right when they are released. Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.Visit us at www.romancipation.com

S5 Episode 5: Be Empowered in a Relationship, Not Entitled Episode SummaryA healthy relationship is based on respect, trust, communication, boundaries and acceptance.  Each person who enters into a partnership is entitled to have their wants and needs met by their partner, and in turn they should be willing to offer the same.  Remember, a relationship takes two people, and both should be willing and able to make their partner feel cherished and loved.Having realistic and thoughtful relationship expectations for you and your partner is empowering. Making demands, living by a double-standard or refusing to communicate with your romantic partner is not only unacceptable behavior, it is disrespectful, thoughtless and immature.  Striking a balance between empowerment and entitlement can be tricky.  That is why you need to practice self-awareness to avoid falling into unhealthy patterns. When a person is comfortable with who they are, they become a better partner.  Empowering yourself outside of the relationship affords you the ability to respect your partner’s boundaries and to accept their limitations.  When a couple plays to one another’s strengths, the bonds that tie them together are reinforced.At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how toxic it can be to a relationship when a partner lets their family members interfere in the primary relationship. Show NotesDo you know the difference between being empowered versus being entitled in your relationship? Requiring respect is empowering. On the other hand, making demands is entitlement. It’s important for people to understand this distinction. You can’t use empowerment as an excuse to make demands from another person. A relationship is two whole people coming together. You are going to have to have your needs and wants met, and you will also have to meet the wants and needs of your partner. It’s not entirely about your expectations because it’s a two-way street.  The key to empowerment is understanding and playing to your strengths. It’s about communicating effectively, setting boundaries, and taking ownership. Sharing household duties, emotional care, and apologizing when you should is empowering. Living by a double standard, refusing to communicate, and having an unfair distribution of labor is entitled behavior. An empowered person operates from a place of comfort and knows how to draw on what they need, rather than placing all the expectations on their partner. Once you start emphasizing and working on your own empowerment, you’ll realize how much healthier it is for you and your relationship. In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people let their family interfere in the relationship. You don’t automatically deserve a place in someone else’s relationship. This often stems from a need for control, and too many people allow this to happen in a relationship. Your partner only needs to satisfy your wants and needs, not those of your family members. If your family can’t respect your boundaries and your relationship, they don’t respect you. Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive notifications of new episodes right when they are released. Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.Visit us at www.romancipation.com

S5 Episode 4: Infidelity and Life Stage: Destructive or Self-Discovery Episode SummaryJust as people evolve over time, so do their relationships.  As a person enters a new life stage, their priorities shift and their needs, wants and expectations change.  Unfortunately, as feelings and circumstances change, dissatisfaction in the relationship creates the opportunity for infidelity to enter into the picture.When a partnership is built on respect, trust, communication, and acceptance, the two people involved are either able to jointly navigate the challenges and stay together, or they part ways amicably. For relationships that are missing one or several of the foundational elements, infidelity often serves as a catalyst for ending the unhappy union.Self-discovery is an important aspect of self-awareness.  Instead of engaging in destructive behavior, honor your commitment and your partner by being honest with them about your feelings before rushing off to find Mr. or Ms. Right.  If you choose to leave the relationship, be mindful of the short-term and long-term impact it will have on you and your ex-partner. Everyone deserves to be in a fulfilling relationship.  Just be thoughtful about how you go about it. At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when a person changes their manner of dress or appearance to please a new partner. Show NotesInfidelity has a significant impact on people in their romantic relationships. Cheating in a long-term, monogamous relationship is a bad choice. But sometimes, down the road in a relationship, you simply realize it isn’t working—and you feel trapped. For some people, infidelity is sort of a tool they use to free themselves. Some people want to have it all—someone to share the division of labor while also having fun on the side. But in other cases, a relationship has stopped being beneficial or has simply fizzled out. These people may cheat and use this new relationship as a catalyst to leave. It’s not an excuse for the behavior, but it’s easier to understand.  If you are a person who is cheating as an avenue of self-discovery, you still owe it to your partner to tell them the truth. Your feelings are still valid, but you’ve made a commitment to the other person, so you should be honest with them. The only way a relationship can be truly beneficial is if both people are having a positive experience.  As humans, we have a base need for connection. When that’s missing in a relationship, it can lead to exploration of other options. You may also find yourself looking for another partner if you didn’t take the time to find your right-fit partner at a younger age. Rushing is not the answer. Building a strong relationship with the right person is. In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people change their style of dress or appearance to please a new partner. Adjusting the way you dress to appease your partner’s insecurity will lead to resentment—towards them and yourself. Because personal style is such a big part of someone’s personal choices, this could signal something sinister about the relationship. Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive notifications of new episodes right when they are released. Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.Visit us at www.romancipation.com

S5 Episode 3: H.O.P.E. is a Four-Letter Word Episode SummaryHope can be a very dangerous thing when it comes to romantic relationships.  Hope keeps a person from taking an active role in directing the evolution of their romantic partnership.  Fostering hope in a relationship is a surefire way to waste time and energy.If your partner is not living up to your expectations or failing to meet your wants and needs, you must actively communicate with them and advocate for any necessary changes.  To hope that someone will alter their behavior without facing any consequences is naïve and unproductive.  Moreover, if your partner has already made it clear that they are fine with the status quo, then it is time for you to move on.Do not let someone lead you on, or manipulate you, by making promises without following through.  A Romancipated individual understands that action is what counts.  If your partner truly respected you, they would make every effort to offer the type of commitment or relationship you desire.At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how it feels when your partner corrects or chastises you in front of others. Show NotesWhen it comes to relationships, “hope” is a bad word. Anytime you hope something will happen in a relationship, you’re letting someone else control your destiny. You can’t make someone else act in a certain way—and it’s a waste of energy to think this way. Confronting the issues and sharing your feelings is the better solution. You should be comfortable communicating your wants and needs. However, if your partner has conveyed directly, or even indirectly, that they don’t intend to meet your needs or wants, you have to accept it and move on.  Hoping takes away your agency because it takes away your ability to take action in your relationship. You can’t control what your partner decides to do, but you can control yourself and what you decide to do. For this reason, Romancipated people don’t hope. They hold on to their power rather than waiting for the other person to deliver. Your partner can use hope to manipulate you. It can be a double-edged sword. Your partner can tell you what you want to hear simply to keep the hope going—without any real intention to make any sort of change. Don’t waste your time hoping when you can do better. In this episode, the vent session topic is: When my partner corrects me or chastises me in public or in front of other couples or friends. It’s not okay, ever. When someone constantly tries to put their partner down, it’s a big red flag. A partner who respects you does not behave this way. It’s not “helpful” to correct your partner in front of others. If you can’t see how thoughtless this is, you need to do some soul-searching. Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive notifications of new episodes right when they are released. Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.Visit us at www.romancipation.com

S5 Episode 2: Relationship Deadlines are an Illusion Episode SummaryRomantic relationship can be stressful enough without the added pressure of artificial deadlines.  Timing is not everything when it comes to love.  It is more important to build a healthy relationship with the right person than it is to meet self-imposed relationship goals like marriage and children.Life is unpredictable.  Stay flexible when it comes to building the life you desire.  Ignore what society, friends or your family tells you is necessary for your happiness.  Only you can decide what is the right fit for you.  This is true for romantic partners, jobs, living arrangements, and the decision to have a family.Reject the idea that relationships happen on a schedule.  By removing the pressure to conform to other people’s expectations, you free yourself to explore all of the options and opportunities life has to offer.  Focus your time and energy on productive things that benefit your mental, physical, financial and emotional health.  At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how important it is for your partner to understand your moods before they approach you for sex. Show NotesHaving a life plan is different than having relationship deadlines. You can have general five-year or ten-year plans that shape your future. But this should be seen as more of a guide—not a rulebook of strict deadlines. Life-altering decisions should not hinge on societal notions of what is supposed to happen when. Relationship deadlines create a false sense of urgency and cause stress in a relationship. In the end, they can also be entirely counterproductive. Deadlines create desperate behavior, and it’s a big reason why people make decisions they end up regretting down the road.  Whether it’s marriage, having kids, or some other milestone, you shouldn’t feel great pressure to make these things happen by a specific time. When you remove the concept of deadlines, you give yourself the freedom to go at your own pace. The moment friends or family try to place deadlines upon you, it’s because they want you to join in their choices. Misery loves company. You deserve to live in your current happiness without worrying about what’s going to come next. You’re not missing out, so don’t let artificial or self-imposed deadlines guide your life. Idealizing a lifestyle isn’t true joy or comfort. If you can’t let go of your deadlines, at the very least ensure you communicate them in your relationship very early on. In this episode, the vent session topic is: To have sex with me, my partner needs to understand my moods—it’s a mental thing for women. As a woman, the mood you're in dictates your desire. A partner who understands this reality will have a much higher rate of success. Men: Assess the situation before you make a move.  Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive notifications of new episodes right when they are released. Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.Visit us at www.romancipation.com 

S5 Episode 1: Finances and Philosophy: Questions to Ask Your Partner Part 2 Episode SummaryEngaging in conversations with your partner about your family’s financial health are necessary and important.  You are entitled to know what is going on, and choosing to stay ignorant or clueless is unacceptable and dangerous. Having a clear picture of what is realistic in terms of spending, saving, investing, debt and earning power is an important part of being a Romancipated person. Openly discussing fiscal matters with your partner is healthy and productive.  It allows you to make thoughtful and informed decisions.  Speaking with your partner about money should happen at every stage of the relationship.  As people evolve, so do their monetary habits and philosophies.  As circumstances change like the birth of a child, an illness or job change, new fiscal realities will emerge.Asking questions is a great way to gain valuable insight into how your partner ticks, what motivates them and how they view you and your relationship.  By taking personal responsibility for your financial wellbeing, you can avoid many unnecessary and costly mistakes.  Work within your means and be thoughtful and fair about what economic decisions you make.  At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how it feels when your partner expects you to be the one in charge of purchasing gifts for everyone. Show NotesIn this episode we’re continuing the conversation about finances and philosophies. Knowing whether or not you’re on the same page in terms of your financial habits and values starts with a conversation—and it’s a conversation you should have early on in your relationship.In the beginning stages of your relationship, it’s important to ask your partner if they plan to have children, and if so, how many. With each child, household costs rise exponentially. You may need to invest in a larger home, a larger vehicle, education, and more.How much money can each of you spend without having to consult one another? What’s a fair cost of a vacation? Are you okay with bringing your own lunch to work to save money? These are all important questions to ask. If you’re both on the same account and one person is comfortable spending into overdraft, the other person should know.Money management is an important topic too. Each person has their own way of managing their money, from budgeting to prioritizing certain expenditures. Does your partner outsource their money management? Are they a spender or a saver, and what do they consider a necessity? You may not agree with your partner as much as you might think, and that’s why it’s so important to ask these questions in the initial stages of your relationship.In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner expects you to purchase gifts for everyone for every occasion. Women tend to be the default gift buyers, and there’s a lot of stress that goes along with it. It’s laziness on your partner’s part. Expecting your partner to always take on this task is unfair and oversteps boundaries.Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive notifications of new episodes right when they are released. Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.Visit us at www.romancipation.com