In which budget-conscious Swedes rearrange American ideas about nutritious eating, and Ken is pretty sure M&Ms are not getting smaller. Certificate #54063.

In which we celebrate 167 years of Americans being able to claim any island they like as long as it has enough bird poop on it, and John thinks you can dip a pole in liberty. Certificate #39867.

In which a remote part of Idaho solves its beaver dam problem with some surplus parachutes and an even more remote part of Idaho, and Ken applies the transitive property to mules and culverts. Certificate #31297.

In which German health nuts give the world the idea of social nude recreation before the Nazis can tell them not to, and John thinks of something that is better than itching. Certificate #53668.

In which the ponds of New England become the wellspring of a new worldwide web of perishable foods, and Ken learns that gum is a forest treat. Certificate #23725.

In which the estate of the century's greatest scientist becomes a $200 million enterprise even as his brain tissue languishes in a cider box, and John compares it to pastrami. Certificate #21917.

In which a ski bum with dad jokes explores new frontiers of film distribution and extreme sports, and Ken is a water machine. Certificate #48941.

In which the rift between two Communist dictators leads to a blooming of mariachi culture in the fertile soil of the Balkans, and John is baffled by Vietnamese karaoke. Certificate #46465.

In which the smartest people in the world bloom early but often struggle to live up that promise later in life, and Ken's phone thinks he lives at the zoo. Certificate #50285.

In which a late-night Christmas party in a West Point barracks gets out of hand, almost changing the course of the Civil War, and John is not anti-Julius. Certificate #32683. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which tensions over slavery and its westward expansion boil over into an assault on the floor of the United States Senate, and Ken does not have a single cloak. Certificate #46116.

In which governments around the world deliberate on how creatively parents may name their children, and John thinks "Tilden" sounds like a kind of cheese. Certificate #26934. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which the world's overfished oceans begin to teem with a sudden surplus of ancient and puzzling invertebrates, and Ken just wants sex tourists not to pee on his bunion. Certificate #23757.

In which a teenaged slacker from Sedona with a love for llamas jump-starts the digital music age, and John explains why large people prefer old things. Certificate #38550.

In which the successor to one of the great medieval bridges is shipped to the Arizona desert by an American tycoon, and Ken is skeptical about product placement in slasher movies. Certificate #28472. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which a science fiction-loving professor dreams of conquering death with the cold, hard science of low-temperature preservation, and John just wants to be a brain with a nose. Certificate #48643.

In which evangelical Christians wrestle with the problem of whether rock music is inherently good, evil, or neither. and Ken wonders about angel monkeys. Certificate #34822. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which the rituals of Masonry and its more casual offshoots produce a "golden age of fraternalism" for American men, and John is discomfited by noisy day care teachers. Certificate #35320.

In which the remains of a useless Nazi "chandelier" unexpectedly emerge in Maryland and Washington, and Ken thinks about Bilbo Baggins too late. Certificate #35410. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which the legend of feral children is traced from ancient mythology all the way up to Smurfs and Russian street dogs, and John cannot recommend the Madrid Zoo. Certificate #22714. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which an adman who survived Nazi and Soviet invasions goes on to reinvent gay eroticism, and Ken wonders which Founding Father looked best naked. Certificate #7136. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which a ghost-written memoir explains how a great British stage magician defeated Rommel in North Africa with his trickery, and John considers saying "Abracadabra" as a swear. Certificate #37883.

In which a perfect storm of construction, coal mining, and Communist commemoration creates twelve days of gridlock in central China, and Ken imagines an ancient Roman in a stadium parking garage. Certificate #34985. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which one Canadian newsman convinces America for several decades that daily drinking is the key to solving the "French Paradox," and John thinks Ken looks inhibited holding a spatula. Certificate #13766.

In which Japanese soldiers, unwilling to believe that World War II is over, hold out for decades on islands all over the Pacific, and Ken will never give up on bar soap. Certificate #44164. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which a nationwide panic over "stranger danger" turns regional dairies into activists for missing children, and John likes when things are "de minimis." Certificate #25468.

In which the world's first nuclear-powered merchant vessel is launched in all its modernist glory, and Ken wants an infinitely long ship. Certificate #26615.

In which the three nascent American broadcast networks face a challenge from a scrappy engineering lab, and John thinks gadgeteers should be certified. Certificate #28450. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which the "behavioral sink" of rodent utopias is discovered in a Maryland barn, and Ken sings about a urinal trough. Certificate #38792.

In which Sufi mysticism inspires a Bolivian philosopher to divide all of humanity into nine personality types, and Ken visualizes the ur-cow. Certificate #25935. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which a panel of concerned atomic scientists quantify the dangers of the nuclear age with a timely visual aid, and John's mother has a favorite fact about Benjamin Franklin. Certificate #26973.

In which a medieval pope's disturbing nightmare leads to the addition of "baby doors" at convents and hospitals across Europe, and John thinks robots could replace orphans. Certificate #43431. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/omnibus to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code OMNIBUS.

In which a Yemeni construction crew finds a priceless trove of Quranic literature and promptly stuff it into potato sacks, and Ken would like to burn some French translators at the stake. Certificate #24503.

In which a unique piece of Jewish medieval art barely survives two European wars, and John imagines that the Venetian papal censor was a chill guy. Certificate #48606.

In which California's largest lake, created by accident in 1905, teeters on the brink of collapse, and Ken complains about a hotel sink. Certificate #44008.

In which an asthmatic British cartoonist sells two million copies of his books of non-jokes for cat skeptics, and John knows what the handle of a gun is called. Certificate #29573.

In which a Shakespearean insult for an obnoxious blowhard comes to be used as an anti-white slur, and Ken wants to test the Appalachians for testosterone. Certificate #38163.

In which a QAnon-like conspiracy theory insists that fancy 19th-century architecture was all built by a mysterious, long-lost superstate, and John is concerned about neighborhood dogs with heads the size of pumpkins. Certificate #20354.

In which a vast hoard of gold and diamonds disppears near the Mozambique border during the Boer War, and Ken thinks most penguin species look like hoboes. Certificate #15845.

In which Latin America's first Marxist democracy tries to collectivize the means of production by inventing a proto-internet in 1970, and John just hopes it was orange and brown. Certificate #53432.

In which the pilots of a Canadian commercial jetliner abruptly realize over Ontario that they're entirely out of fuel, and Ken likes sad character licensing attempts at amusement parks. Certificate #41746.

In which German university students create a new status symbol when they add swordplay to their drinking society meetings, and John's closet skeletons are all bar fights. Certificate #36857.

In which generations of New Yorkers read about, and lasso, a series of not-legendary-at-all interlopers beneath their city, and Ken doesn't think you should trim a reptile like a bonsai tree. Certificate #36161.

In which a self-proclaimed electronics prodigy from Greece wows the credulous Beatles with five years of inventions he will never invent, and John insists that his recursive t-shirt feature Wil Wheaton. Certificate #45939.

In which a future three-time Oscar winner becomes the nemesis of America's favorite fake swamp-rocker, and Ken has prepared a little skit about the death of Stalin. Certificate #42240.

In which underslept Wyoming railroad workers strike back against a tide of pushy brush and encyclopedia salesmen, and John appreciates the Jehovah's Witnesses. Certificate #12881.

In which the unsavory feeding practices of British dairy farms introduce Europe to a new degenerative brain disease, and Ken believes Prince Edward is not necessarily human. Certificate #41602.

In which mediums and other charlatans wage a 150-year war with their sworn enemy, elite stage magicians, and John would never yell at a lake or birdbath. Certificate #44722.

In which a pioneering chemist never sees a cent of the billions of dollars that her tough new polymer earns for her employer, and Ken wonders how many Alaskans fake their own deaths. Certificate #34836.

In which the greatest turncoat in Chinese history betrays every single warlord or government he ever serves, and John had the 4chan version of the '90s. Certificate #40824.

In which a playful-looking but delicate little species is unable to thrive anywhere but its 11-foot wide home near Death Valley, and Ken witnesses a jellyfish tragedy. Certificate #41036.

In which a British magazine very gradually takes over film culture with its once-every-decade top ten list, and John is careful not to endorse an invasion of the Sudetenland. Certificate #51403.

In which a series of lapses at a Union Carbide India chemical plant leads to the worst industrial accident in history, and Ken can't get behind a midnight tea break. Certificate #52760.

In which an Oklahoma tribe becomes the world's richest people before the swindling and the murders start, and John enjoys a web of intrigue. Certificate #47911.

In which a bizarrely illustrated codex baffles codebreakers for almost four hundred years, and Ken should not have sent that text about the collected works of Dickens. Certificate #42634.

In which Europe is so besotted with exotic ungulates that Roman emperors battle them, artists engrave them badly, and salons honor them in wig form, and John asks about Ken's milk bags. Certificate #27983.

In which underground nuclear testing in Alaska leads two Jewish Quakers into a new age of direct action in environmental activism, and Ken is grateful for the air fryer. Certificate #53211.

In which the divine right of kings, along with golden amulets, is considered the only cure for a disfiguring disease, and John considers which celebrities might be carved from wood. Certificate #22347.

In which a rare oxidized form of hemoglobin changes the skin color of a whole holler full of Kentuckians, and Ken wonders when elves got plastic surgery. Certificate #26015.

In which the world's first cultural superpower decides to make all its citizens a year or two younger overnight, and John could not have been a better baby. Certificate #38756.

In which a colorful newcomer to San Francisco loses a fortune on Peruvian rice and declares himself American royalty, and Ken would have pixelized Kiss. Certificate #42631.

In which a future music megastar bridges the gap between rock and hip-hop with one ambitious, illegal remix album, and John is such a good ally that he listened to Suzanne Vega. Certificate #19205.

In which a western religious holiday becomes a romantic poultry-eating occasion in modern Japan, and Ken destroys all his Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts. Certificate #24940.

In which an emperor convenes the first ever ecumenical council to figure out just whom Christians have been worshiping all this time, and John thinks the invention of the wheel led to mass depravity. Certificate #23027.

In which a national campaign to eradicate a misunderstood predator from the United States very nearly succeeds, and Ken would like to see John James Audubon burning in a pit. Certificate #52363.

In which utility companies take it upon themselves to provide the informational staple of every 20th-century household, and John is looking for a missing Jordanian. Certificate #48730.

In which a Finnish architect upgrades the prefab, modular homes of the 1960s by turning them into flying saucers, and Ken wants to know his table's name. Certificate #49729.

In which southeastern Arizona is menaced by a giant, murderous cryptid with a macabre rider, and John conjures up Mr. Clickety-Clack. Certificate #45334.

In which a man who can't find his golf balls solves every law enforcement problem known to man, and Ken has some bad news about parking tickets. Certificate #21137.

In which an earthenwork dam enjoyed by millionaires fails and a town of steelworkers disppears from the map, and John is terrified by the menace of West Virginia. Certificate #33180.

In which one lonely cosmonaut is left in space while his nation disappears from under him, and Ken thinks couples therapy should be about Mars. Certificate #35916.

In which a bored Phoenix mom has a sparkly dream that ends up changing both teen literature and Washington State tourism, and John explains that his virginity had little to do with vampires. Certificate #18573.

In which forests and their fungi form such close relationships that they essentially become a giant leafy brain, and Ken is excited about pre-Wil Wheaton science. Certificate #46162.

In which a space detective learns that hundreds of Richard Nixon's tiny gifts to the world have gone missing over the years, and John wonders if religious sacraments are more effective in space. Certificate #25614.

In which the counterculture of the 1960s encourages powerful institutions to create a square but multiracial song-and-dance troupe that takes the world by storm, and Ken imagines President Eisenhower as a stern ad executive. Certificate #53773

In which half a million colonists decide the American Revolution isn't really their thing, and John needs to know how many lanterns there were, just in case. Certificate #13747.

In which a medieval legend about a chunk of sandstone means that Scottish cooperation is necessary for Charles III to be crowned king, and Ken passes a Bible quiz. Certificate #42504.

In which the history of papal transportation is traced from sedan chairs to Hyundai sedans, and John has been researching the care and upkeep of Catholic moms. Certificate #15163.

In which cities, over the centuries, gradually discover the most efficient way to collect garbage for disposal, and Ken hasn't looked in his pocket since Christmas. Certificate #28712.

In which a computer millionaire takes early retirement to self-publish a 50-pound reference work about the chemistry of food, and John discovers a surprise cherry tomato. Certificate #24537.

In which one eventful Dutch voyage to Indonesia leads to a mutiny, a shipwreck, and a massacre off the coast of Australia, and Ken claims he has a bed in a port somewhere. Certificate #20229.

In which two Depression-era "drugstore cowboys" let their Wild West outlaw fantasies lead them into a life of crime, and John breaks the news to Ken about pirates. Certificate #26056.

In which the "Dragon's Jaw" across the Song Ma River in North Vietnam proves a challenge for the most advanced air weaponry on earth, and Ken thinks teens should be in parking lots. Certificate #22691.

In which human memory and identity are so fragile that a series of people simply walk away from them, and John wishes more things were the movie Tron. Certificate #28975.

In which a high school Kennedy confidante becomes an influential White Hoise voice while hiding a delicate secret, and Ken wants to blur some of John Lithgow's wrinkles. Certificate #36906.

In which a racist Mississippi state legislator kills his childhood friend, a civil rights organizer, in broad daylight with no consequences whatsoever, and John thinks Ken pronounces "Montgomery" like a Southern belle. Certificate #34239.

In which a pair of outraged Canadians, kept off the TV airwaves, change the world with their anti-consumerist art magazine instead, and Ken thinks Mr. Ed should have had pop-up ads. Certificate #29414.

In which the first daytime "supercouple" briefly makes soap operas a part of 1980s mass culture, and John wonders if a bride is "zaftig." Certificate #32511.

In which $300 million in 2022 money is unwisely spent on the world's first real-world cryptocurrency transaction, and Ken explains why a bro should not have an army. Certificate #11904.

In which we explore life in parts of the map that are bizarrely separated from the rest of their nations, and John thinks Alaska looks like a very fertile octopus. Certificate #51829.

In which a British fantasy writer reframes cost-of-living calculations for future economists, and Ken doesn't notice cobblers. Certificate #28114.

In which a gifted grappler with Iowa's biggest neck becomes America's first national wrestling celebrity, and pro wrestling reminds John of many of his past relationships. Certificate #29766.

In which America's first locomotive faces its greatest challenge, a group of angry teamsters, and Ken decides horses are his Sammy Hagar. Certificate #17918.

In which a church bishop's sanction makes the London borough of Southwark a haven for sex workers and other outcasts for centuries, and John would like to pay someone to chide him. Certificate #49605.

In which a series of largely male and largely odd people over the centuries start digging something and just don't stop, and Ken explains how Canadian lakes are named. Certificate #39623.

In which the daughter of a famous adventurer and hostage does landmark work in 20th-century music, film, and art, and John wonders whom he has talked to for the most hours. Certificate #39582.

In which a great American city got its water rights by illegally flooding John Muir's favorite valley, and Ken has opinions on where egrets should poop. Certificate #53464.

In which people find they can feel better about almost any ailment while taking nothing at all, and many of John's friends are Batman villains. Certificate #42734.

In which 3,500 miles of wire mesh are intended to keep the southeast corner of Australia dingo-free, and Ken thinks his dogs are choosing not to do jazz hands. Certificate #51283.

In which wartime Britain reacts skeptically to American racial segregation, leading to a firefight in the village streets of Lancashire, and John ponders the post-apocalyptic looting of opticians. Certificate #53093.

In which an LSD-loving psychologist is fired from Harvard and reborn in India, and Ken would like to be in a control group. Certificate #30296.

In which one of the most hapless teams in NBA history has a rebranding brainstorm, and John is mistaken about Jesus riding a dinosaur. Certificate #27789.

In which one of America's most historic warehouse districts is threatened by urban renewal, and Ken wants only the best rutabagas in his body. Certificate #48481.

In which an achingly innocent, gentle, and earnest new aesthetic spawns a decade of music, art, bangs, and Etsy stores, and John has forgotten every band except Kajagoogoo. Certificate #16065.

In which a taxonomy of five simple French recipes are used to define haute cuisine for generations, and Ken wants noodles named for Drake. Certificate #48504.

In which a Broadway legend retools a Depression-era endurance contest into a thrilling contact sport, and John wants Portland to succeed. Certificate #26834.

In which a crippling power outage strikes New York City during the worst summer in its history, and Ken receives strange wisdom from Nikola Tesla's severed head. Certificate #50165.

In which fake news from the Spanish-American War inspires a self-proclaimed socialist to write a pro-employer business classic, and John believes sadness can sink ships. Certificate #42914.

In which long-simmering resentments over the Falklands War boil over on the soccer pitch, and Ken thinks that Margaret Thatcher was actually a giant marionette. Certificate #38221.

In which a discredited pseudoscience from the 1980s makes a modern resurgence in the autism community, and John never wants to hear a second record by one of his favorite bands. Certificate #25222.

In which the waste byproducts of smelting iron become an annoyance and then a hotly contested resource, and Ken wants some aquarium gravel. Certificate #24789.

In which the worst naval accident in U.S. government history almost kills a president but inspires romance instead, and John doesn't love the coquetteish head-tilting in old photos. Certificate #52488.

In which the indigenous people of the Columbia River Plateau breed a new horse with a "leopard complex," and Ken notes you can't milk an emu. Certificate #36454.

In which a great American futurist spends decades experimentally recording his own personal data every fifteen minutes, and John wants to know if Ken is a good kisser. Certificate #49146.

In which figure skating produces the biggest movie star in the world and then a half-century of traveling live entertainment, and Ken believes in promoting peanut vendors. Certificate #43376.

In which some tail-wagging strays become mascots on the frontlines of social protest, and John has an idea for treating arthritic cows. Certificate #53229.

In which a proud Norwegian sea captain decides to one-up the fleet of Spanish boats at the Chicago World's Fair, and Ken wonders how well Elvis knew Nixon. Certificate #21995.

In which an American rocketry pioneer gets over a breakup by trying to summon an ancient sex goddess into our dimension, and John has a modest proposal on school prayer. Certificate #36297.

In which the biggest segment of America's entertainment economy almost disappears in a single year due to lousy product, and Ken is too shy to play Zaxxon in public. Certificate #24180.

In which a great Victorian master of nonsense creates a world of riddles that aren't really riddles, and John thinks a roast chicken has definitely caused a murder. Certificate #35725.

In which the history of water mattresses is traced from ancient goatskins up to 1970s hedonism and even science fiction, and Ken's bed is not moving his butt. Certificate #40450.

In which a series of questionable legends about premature burial lead to an inventors' boom of escapable caskets, and John has been handcuffed at least seven times. Certificate #35676.

In which a surprisingly broad spectrum of conspiracists discovers a secret set of rules for outsmarting the U.S. government, and Ken wishes some of his enemies could be flogged more. Certificate #29113.

In which an upstart media mogul hatches a plan with Moscow to challenge the Olympics and end the Cold War, and John looks for the sexiest pictures of a former First Lady. Certificate #21182.

In which brave souls from Siberia to Zimbabwe try riding and milking some rarely domesticated animals, with mixed results, and Ken wants to put a newborn baby on an ostrich. Certificate #52260.

In which one low-budget action flick forever rewrites the rules of how movies are marketed, and John thinks Spider-Man's aunt is the only real movie star. Certificate #33734.

In which a Yale psychologist attempts to explain the Holocaust using research techniques considered unethical today, and Ken has a theory about the origins of Jeopardy! Certificate #20495.

In which the "Times Square of Europe" is bombed into 150 acres of rubble and eventually the greatest real estate opportunity of the post-Cold War world, and John lists the only three places in Germany. Certificate #38531.

In which Apocrypha gospel adventures and medieval miracles are ascribed to the sacred foreskin of Jesus of Nazareth, and Ken disapproves of hand magic in our schools. Certificate #52348.

In which the majority of Americans become convinced that American POWs are still being held captive decades after the Vietnam War ends, and John assumes those dancing inflatable tube men enjoy Primus. Certificate #49382.

In which the first ever all-electronic groove revolutionized Jamaican music, and Ken thinks there should be more songs about baptism. Certificate #52239.

In which the dead center of the Pacific Ocean is revealed to be the home of microplastics, sunken spacecraft, and possibly giant sea monsters, and John refuses to leave his keyboard player in the desert. Certificate #49394.

In which an Australian national treasure and a Chinese resort race to revive the most disastrous brand in maritime history, and Ken is fed up with the sulfurous steel of Belfast. Certificate #50231.

In which Swiss mercenaries will desert their post if you whistle a folk song about cows, and John wishes you many goods and cheese. Certficate #26419.

In which a well-mustached electrician starts a labor movement that even Ronald Reagan can get behind, and Ken is working on a chess novel. Certificate #26170.

In which terror of falling behind the Swiss leads the White House to introduce America's children to a new and tramautic form of physical education, and John wants to landscape the top of Mount Rainier. Certificate #39398.

In which a multitude of actresses and one journalist remember being the model for the Columbia Pictures logo, and Ken's fuse box is in the wrong place. Certificate #28564.

In which a French-only precursor to the World Wide Web appears in the late 1970s in a wave of Gallic futurist fervor, and John may have been making long distance calls from a Parisian prison. Certificate #23054.

In which a Bedouin cultural revival in modern-day Arabia leads to a thriving circuit of competitive camel events, and Ken thinks Brazil is acting a little desperate. Certificate #37337.

In which we follow the evolution of the human brow from prehistoric man up through the Kardashians, and John looks into Sanskrit. Certificate #22352.

In which a Beverly Hills celeb photographer, a Siamese kitten named Sassy, and a Broadway legend collaborate to create modern poster culture, and Ken hates the ticking of a giant Garfield watch. Certificate #19046.

In which a Canadian veterinarian saves an orphaned cub on his way to France, unwittingly giving the world a great literary gift, and John thinks there should be a railway car just for thrash metal. Certificate #51029.

In which an Oregon pop trio become near-stars of record, TV, and screen in the mid-1970s, and Ken wonders who the Bee Gees are romancing in the afterlife. Certificate #37614.

In which a new breed of Portuguese statesman rebuilds his capital after the worst natural disaster in European memory, and John thinks a rainbow would never hold up in court. Certificate #30150.

In which a wartime shortage of secret ingredient 7x gives the world its second favorite soda brand, and Ken pronounces beverages like an Okie. Certificate #25939.

In which modern surgery begins at Versailles inside the most beloved bottom in all of France, and John has Moroccan gravel in his foot for years. Certificate #52937.

In which a minor bit of a movie score improbably becomes a chart-topping hit thanks to daytime soaps and Olympic gymnastics, and Ken doesn't enjoy the bongo as a lead instrument. Certificate #25729.

In which a Hungarian composer and virtuoso pianist becomes Europe's first rock star, and John is looking for a German countess with the right braids. Certificate #39341.

In which a two-time Nobel Prize winner believes he has discovered the cure for the common cold, and Ken wants cilantro to tell him what to do. Certificate #31531.

In which a coinage act officially defines American currency much smaller than a penny, and John has an important question about a shrimp restaurant. Certificate #40326

In which 1990s America becomes convinced that the world's least cuddly stuffed animals are the road to financial freedom, and Ken's very valuable comic book gets covered with jelly. Certificate #47159.

In which Victorians use February 14 to woo their sweethearts but also to insult all their enemies, and John reveals the best night of the year to play a concert. Certificate #36155.

In which scandal-plagued Hollywood hires a Harding Administration official to clean up suggestive movies, and John is a student of kissing. Certificate #29282.

In which a German empress comes within a whisker of the English crown during a bloody civil war, and Ken discovers history's most fateful case of diarrhea. Certificate #45359.

In which a Soviet agronomist misunderstands genetics so badly that millions of people die, and John finds giraffes to have the sexiest eyelashes. Certificate #27832.

In which a Japanese college dropout invents a new kind of not-entirely-useless invention, and Ken enjoys a tidy sum. Certificate #36799.

In which accounting records become the basis for an important new genre of Native American painting, and Ken gets nostalgic for his childhood dog food invoices. Certificate #25974.

In which a boring train ride from Devon leads to the creation of the modern paperback library, and John's daughter is a snob about sans serif typefaces. Certificate #41769.

In which a humble locksmith sues the dictator who stole his golden Buddha, and Ken thinks teaching multiplication to juries was a mistake. Certificate #46804.

In which a small group of nationalists leave Wales for the prairies of Argentina, and John explains why he pronounces "Nazi" to rhyme with "snazzy." Certificate #53240.

In which the world land speed cycling record reaches incredible heights using the power of the slipstream, and Ken doesn't need to hear the word "torque" so much. Certificate #43944.

In which the technology used to make the world's strongest and most beautiful swords is lost to time, and John is suspicious of redheads. Certificate #26207.

In which an American heiress leverages her dollhouse enthusiasm to invent a new scientific discipline, and Ken's aunt knows more about cyanide than his uncle. Certificate #34368.

In which an Australian whaling village learns to hunt cooperatively with the local apex predators, and John identifies the "ferrets of the sea." Certificate #46594.

In which an ultra-luxury Mercedes becomes the car of choice for rock stars and despots worldwide, and Ken wants to buy the least fascist doorbell. Certificate #49472.

In which a Rhode Island Quaker emerges from a coma rebranded as a nameless, genderless prophet, and John predicts the Temptations will get boils. Certificate #29297.

In which a maritime comedy of errors in a Nova Scotia harbor leads to the biggest non-nuclear explosion in human history, and Ken learns why you should never buy an old yellow shirt. Certificate #21795.

In which the President of the United States secretly produces his own version of Jesus without any miracles or narrative incident at all, and John produces a healthy, nutritious bowl full of Kurt Cobains. Certificate #30782.

In which a forgotten barrel of single malt whiskey becomes a multimillion dollar collector's item, and Ken refuses to drink beer out of a squirrel's butt. Certificate #13321.

In which the governor of Oregon keeps the peace by throwing the country's only state-sponsored rock festival, and John refuses to introduce two celebrities to each other. Certificate #21362.

In which a borax ghost town improbably becomes the performing arts center of Death Valley, and Ken is somewhat hazy on mules. Certificate #26351.

In which a forgotten Gilded Age celebrity suggests reinventing the tax code so that landowners pay their fair share, and John is discomfited by the city of Altoona. Certificate #41467.

In which a national hysteria erupts over the Satanists controlling your children's role-playing games, and Ken is just a big thimble. Certificate #38501.

In which a purple-clad comic strip hero becomes a warrior totem in the western highlands of Papua New Guinea, and John locates the Dominican Republic of Asia. Certificate #24126.

In which the U.S. government finally succeeds, after decades, in breaking up a massive telephone monopoly, and John is unfamiliar with a funny poem about an elephant. Certificate #22481.

In which a seven-hour boxing match tests the patience of New Orleans crowds and changes the rules of the sport, and Ken thinks straws should be made of cornstarch. Certificate #26215.

In which investigators differ on whether binge-drinking or a homicidal conspiracy is killing American college students, and John plays Frogger to get to the East River. Certificate #23582.

In which the largest bell ever cast spends four centuries in the mud at the bottom of a Burmese river, and Ken makes a terrible grandfather clock decision. Certificate #50855.

In which a burned-out ferry becomes an art deco American icon of the future and then a derelict eyesore, and Ken blames Seattle for the great San Francisco fire of 1906. Certificate #19361.

In which a Tokyo newspaperman with big dreams lures Babe Ruth onto a pre-war baseball barnstorming tour, and John regrets that fancy lounges are mostly for drinking. Certificate #36360.

In which the 1993 back-to-school week that never ended kills an early outpost of the internet, and Ken annoys online Winnie-the-Pooh fans. Certificate #47957.

In which a viral craze inspires hundreds of young Taiwanese folks to put a fish in their names, and John hits a cement wall in his attempts to mate. Certificate #50920.

In which two pioneering women and amateur Jungians devise a way to classify sixteen different types of human personality, and Ken explains his Star Trek slash fiction. Certificate #36282.

In which America's first city for free black people rises from the salt marshes of Spanish Florida, and John regrets quoting a Monty Python sketch. Certificate #31305.

In which the discovery of quantum mechanics leads inevitably to the reappearance of a 30,000-year-old warrior god from a lost continent, and Ken proposes missionaries for silverware. Certificate #27324.

In which a complex of massive earthworks in southern Illinois is assumed to have been built by Vikings, Hindus, or Welshmen, and John is fascinated by sexy voodoo. Certificate #34924.

In which a mysterious treasure is founded in a central London basement, and Ken has a question about the various beads and bangles of Aerosmith. Certificate #7089.

In which the "soldier king" of Prussia recruits and kidnaps Europe's tallest men to serve as his grenadiers, and John admires "merry" people of every height. Certificate #10109.

In which we trace the surprisingly long and eventful history of body hair grooming, and Ken wonders if Brad Pitt will be hot forever. Certificate #33732.

In which apricot pits are discovered to be a cause of cyanide toxicicity rather than a cure for cancer, and John wanders Europe under the protection of a United States Senator. Certificate #527.

In which erosion on North Carolina's Outer Banks prompts the government to move a twelve-story lighthouse half a mile inland, and Ken is in favor of shipwrecks when the ships are bad. Certificate #6374.

In which a gifted Yorkshire boy fails to talk the League of Nations into a thirteen-month year, and John thinks autumn gets short shrift. Certificate #25901.

In which America's richest men invent many, many types of securities fraud while tussling over a New York State railroad, and Ken imagines a zoo full of cows. Certificate #32641.

In which a prehistoric nomad becomes the center of a heated legal battle nine thousand years after his death, and John announces a hydroplane race. Certificate #17567.

In which two Nazi brothers divide a German town into rival athletic shoe factions, and Ken plans a hotel heist. Certificate #31961.

In which one Melanesian village decides, sight unseen, to worship the Duke of Edinburgh, and the gods imprison John in a small ravine. Certificate #50227.

In which the invention of a Bay Area cheerleader becomes science's most exhaustively studied stadium ritual, and Ken doesn't think harbor seals come in different colors. Certificate #4418.

In which twentieth-century America becomes the only time and place in history when people drop letters into their names, and John renames himself in the phone book. Certificate #21831.

In which a clever drillbit company accountant cons banking bigwigs into believing an acre of Wyoming is covered in precious gems, and Ken suggests a touching tribute to Paul Anka. Certificate #52348.

In which a failed Chicago flying saucer cult leads to a landmark study in social psychology, and John blames religious fervor on diet pills. Certificate #17854.

In which an efficient new piece of French glassware changes the history of lighthouses, and Ken learns the exact age of Discovery. Certificate #52246.

In which a modernist Manhattan bohemian accidentally writes the great American bedtime story, and John regrets making his professor voice Austrian. Certificate #44141.

In which scientists from Aristotle up to modern-day Tanzania try to understand the paradoxical way water seems to freeze, and Ken thinks baseball should have cheerleaders. Certificate #25481.

In which a hero of the Second Boer War turns an ill-advised siege into a worldwide youth movement, and John isn't sure if one can tell time with a cannon. Certificate #31247.

In which the American government only gets serious about environmental cleanup after a river in Cleveland bursts into flame well over a dozen times, and Ken believes he could manufacture gravel. Certificate #12398.

In which a Pacific nation loses its founding document and has to ask nicely for a photocopy replacement, and John missed his chance at an assumed identity. Certificate #23621.

In which walrus genitals supply an important element to Alaskan folk art, and Ken will not inspect the underside of a wallaby. Certificate #45999.

In which the uninterrupted 600-year succession of Tibetan Buddhist leadership is threatened by political oppression, and John admires a hat that looks like a banana. Certificate #32762.

In which a series of valleys in central Germany become the focus of Cold War military strategy for generals "fighting the last war," and Ken orders a baby online. Certificate #51668.

In which a "Basque transvestite" leaves her San Sebastian convent in 1607 to become one of the most dangerous men in South America, and John thinks an Italian pope would be a little naughtier than a Spanish one. Certificate #11658.

In which a great spiritual leader lists all the kinds of dice and pick-up sticks and toy windmills that are off-limits to the enlightened, and Ken wants to lick a tetherball pole. Certificate #25968.

In which the same folk song is embraced by both sides of the U.S. Civil War, albeit with different lyrics, and John accuses a Supreme Court justice of having a racist ringtone. Certificate #27330.

In which early America, hoping to keep up with the Chinese, is caught up in an obsession with white mulberry trees, and Ken marvels at the hanky-panky that must go on in every Olympic Village. Certificate #26780.

In which a young man from French Togoland survives a snake attack and embarks on a lifelong quest to see the Arctic, and John loses a large rooster. Certificate #36809.

In which a German industrial town builds a unique new type of suspension railway that fails to catch on worldwide, and Ken disses the Eiffel Tower. Certificate #36460.

In which a Midwestern quack becomes a radio tycoon (and almost governor of Kansas) by extolling the virtues of animal testicles, and John eats cheese out of a pocket. Certificate #42674.

In which we are introduced to the most exclusive cinema-musico-academic club on earth, and Ken volunteers to provide a guest rap. Certificate #32655.

In which a maverick German engineer tries to give an African dictator his very own space program, and John reminds us that astronauts are often quite short. Certificate #48059.

In which a city-sized segment of the world's whaling fleet is trapped together in Arctic ice off Alaska, and Ken blames the horrors of the industrial world on whale ghosts. Certificate #31403.

In which one pioneer's midlife crisis leads him to a brush with Donner Party death and then prosperity in gold rush California, and John is tempted to murder a bassist with a whip handle. Certificate #51638.

In which contraband East German equipment helps create an underground publishing movement in the Soviet Union, and Ken's favorite typeface is now tainted. Certificate #37914.

In which a rare recessive plant gene produces a persistent superstition and a cutthroat collectors' competition, and John will never mock Allah. Certificate #12598.

In which very, very large oil paintings become the 19th-century precursor of the modern movie theater, and Ken has never seen the sun rise by choice. Certificate #14751.

In which some controversial Bible theology sells 65 million apocalypse thriller books and even shapes American foreign policy, and John can identify sinners on a plane. Certificate #40618.

In which a Ukrainian-born tailor brings the first outrageous stage wear to the American music scene--but in country and western, not glam rock--and Ken is unsure about his sky-blue pants. Certificate #27201.

In which English inherits some "postpositive adjectives" from the Norman Conquest that continue to confuse high-ranking federal officials to this day, and John thinks companies should have one vice president tops. Certificate #18999.

In which a series of typographic attempts to improve on the exclamation point and question mark are doomed to failure, and Ken is unable to justify the existence of the backslash. Certificate #22311.

In which America's most beloved television host and moral exemplar composes a series of now-mostly-forgotten children's operas, and John thinks Star Wars is what ends childhood. Certificate #29242.

In which the Soviet Union attempts to close its "Concorde gap" with the West by developing its own terrible supersonic passenger jet, and John is okay with pilots showing off as long as they're in a bar. Certificate #36689.

In which Procter & Gamble spends almost thirty years trying to bring its fat substitute to market, only to see it vanish from the public memory almost immediately, and Ken just wants to eat devil's food cake. Certificate #51232.

In which Scottish mill-worker William McGonagall becomes notorious for his utterly sincere but terrible poetry, and John plans to instigate a sex riot. Certificate #44448.

In which we study the long history of inspirations getting jotted down on scrap paper, and Ken learns he's too lively to be a rock musician. Certificate #44181.

In which Sweden literally changes directions overnight, and John feels that the samurai spirit is all in the details. Certificate #30932.

In which a poltitical revolution in Bolivia produces a new wave of visibility for the nation's hat-wearing indigenous women, and Ken wonders which communist dictators were cuddly. Certificate #16179.

In which a new gypsum miracle product takes more than a century to replace lath-and-plaster walls in home construction, and John thinks lizards have ears. Certificate #35059.

In which a now-forgotten Quaker teenager becomes the most fiery and most famous woman orator of her time, and Ken has no idea if Norman Schwarzkopf is alive or dead. Certificate #44568.

In which an aristocrat's private bet about gullible audiences leads to a 1749 theater riot, and John thinks Dick Cheney should have a podcast. Certificate #16793.

In which the Moog synthesizer and the "plant consciousness" movement of the 1970s produce a rare collector's item for lovers of weird music, and Ken refuses to buy his children reptiles. Certificate #27581.

In which the president wears beige to an August 2014 press conference, suddenly creating three or four new kinds of political discourse, each worse than the last. Certificate #35844.

In which we trace two centuries of people being briefly interested in three-dimensional images, and John gets a bad case of "Intellivision thumb." Certificate #27012.

In which a Siberian mystic gets so cozy with Russian royals that he ensures the success of the Bolshevik Revolution, and Ken wonders if he blinks the normal amount of times. Certificate #38899.

In which the American love affair with demolition-based entertainment is born near Waco, Texas in an explosion of iron and steam, and John believes some flight attendants are aliens. Certificate #34659.

In which we follow the arc of nerd culture to the Council of Elrond where a certain kind of fan service is born, and Ken explains why people fight about Frodo and Jesus. Certificate #40170.

In which a zombie pope is forced to stand trial in 9th-century Rome, and Ken discovers a generation of people with strong opinions about the word "zoology." Certificate #28349.

In which an online covered wagon auction unearths an almost-forgotten genre of itinerant performer, and John refuses to identify the Tijuana of Europe. Certificate #46962.

In which an Australian cricket team creates an international controversy with an unorthodox but legal strategy, and Ken accidentally does a Boston accent. Certificate #30080.

In which a modern-day treasure hunter becomes convinced that a priceless trove of British fighter jets is buried at the end of an airport runway, and John becomes a realtor for Myanmar. Certificate #34112.

In which the Internet is born in 1945 when a radar technician in a bamboo hut reads a Life magazine article about a futuristic desk, and Ken wonders if anyone smoked weed at Los Alamos. Certificate #18461.

In which an inept attempt at a Portuguese-English phrasebook becomes an enduring comedy classic, and John celebrates the invention of the stirrup. Certificate #29469.

In which the most famous socialist rabble-rouser of her time returns from her 1919 execution (maybe) as a headless mummy, and Ken wonders if ancient Irish peasants had combination skin. Certificate #27337.

In which a set of rare ocean and weather conditions in Alabama can lead to periodic seafood explosions, and Ken and John agree that Muscle Shoals must be in the wrong place. Certificate #38099.

In which the wealthiest and most socially awkward British thinker of his time revolutionizes science, mostly in secret, and John wants to harvest clones at Packers games. Certificate #47447.

In which we consider an alternate timeline where the Beatles' third movie was a psychedelic Tolkien adaptation instead of a bummer documentary, and Ken sticks up for sanitation. Certificate #51290.

In which a mutt from the mean streets of Connecticut becomes a decorated hero in the trenches of World War I, and John is only good at half of rugby. Certificate #26161.

In which the gross gunk from the back end of a rodent is discovered to be an invaluable perfume ingredient and even flavor enhancer, and Ken's Sunday school teacher does not want a high-five. Certificate #36682.

In which Midwestern pilots are unable to resist the gaping maw of the St. Louis skyline, and John watches a Wim Wenders movie fourteen times without ever seeing the beginning. Certificate #30320.

In which an acid trip and a NASA space photo inspire a new guide of counterculture "tools" for living, and Ken helps John get his Nixon back. Certificate #51410.

In which we learn how a "system" of Scandinavian minimalism put on a happy face and became the most popular toy in the world, and John tries the art of the deal with Ken's kids. Certificate #50469.

In which a series of corporate mergers and one amusement park fire conspire to rob the world of a priceless musical heritage, and Ken regrets renting a fancy car. Certificate #43485.

In which four clipper ships race to London in the most exciting contest of the 19th century, and John thinks race cars should deliver cocaine. Certificate #38646.

In which southwest Washington State becomes the epicenter for lazy Sasquatch fakes, and Ken explains how the Jersey Devil probably reproduces. Certificate #17742.

In which a presidential grandchild with a reasonable CIA departmental budget is all it takes to overthrow Iran, and John reveals the only downside of firing a howitzer. Certificate #39131.

In which Teddy Roosevelt and his son celebrate the end of his manly presidency by almost dying in South America, and Ken is tricked into discussing Mato Grosso. Certificate #27531.

In which a series of traumatic train accidents and a broke astronomer conspire to re-invent time as a flat circle, and John accidentally attends a clock unveiling. Certificate #13818.

In which a freak Pacific storm in 1832 makes one young castaway an unusual ambassador for the Empire of Japan, and Ken is unable to justify the Gospel of John. Certificate #37850.

In which a fiery apocalypse outside Rome, New York marks the cultural endpoint of the 1990s, and John spends his whole childhood reading about armaments in Janes publications. Certificate #27287.

In which a Norwegian amateur anthropologist sails a raft from Peru to Polynesia to push a pet theory, and Ken covets ink and gold. Certificate #18688.

In which we follow the long, strange journey that finally got World War I and World War II their names, and John goes for drinks with his high school principal. Certificate #24737.

In which itinerant snowbirds turn an abandoned desert naval base into a trash-mountain utopia, and Ken hopes a nuke lands on his head. Certificate #33204.

In which modernity discovers a late Renaissance composer with a history of ahead-of-his-time harmonies and lurid murder, and John scats like Cab Calloway after midnight. Certificate #39859.

In which a Brooklyn-born fast food manager slaps some paramilitary berets on local kids and starts a new community policing movement, and Ken wonders how to allocate the stripes on the American flag. Certificate #25639.

In which we trace at least four secret identities of the most reclusive novelist in literary history, and John gets a terrible fake ID from the fake ID store. Certificate #39453.

In which we learn why Los Angeles and other post-war American cities have tens of thousands of the same apartment complex, and Ken wonders where Philip Johnson's water heater is. Certificate #25380.

In which a throwback British baronet (sort of) completes seven marathons on seven continents in seven consecutive days, and John runs like a rhinoceros. Certificate #20800.

In which Detroit's first "cool" car executive almost goes to jail in an attempt to save his weird car and foundering company, and Ken says it's okay for kids to climb into refrigerators now. Certificate #36728.

In which a Prussian schoolteacher's wife founds a failed anti-Semitic utopia in Paraguay and creates fascism's favorite philosopher, and John wants to keep Nazis off the Moon at all costs. Certificate #42582.

In which we look at the long history of romanticizing rural life, from the Enlightenment all the way up to today's Instagram lesbians, and Ken accuses Thoreau of "glamping." Certificate #45989.

In which we learn what causes the "frequency illusion" of recently learned facts immediately reappearing into view, and John has too many books on his bed for romance. Certificate #36846.

In which far-left European terrorism of the 1970s produces West Germany's own Marxist-Leninist "Bonnie and Clyde," and Ken feels bad for that kissing nurse in Times Square. Certificate #26524.

In which we learn that the massive global banana export market is a precarious monoculture doomed to disaster because of a tiny fungus, and John thinks Sean Young might be a time traveler. Certificate #26039.

In which the intricate bead culture of the Eastern Woodlands tribes confuses new British and Dutch arrivals, and Ken refuses to let Thomas Jefferson make him be a farmer. Certificate #31448.

In which we learn what governments do when election results come back exactly tied, and John swings a Seattle mayoral election by asking for directions. Certificate #30371.

In which the era of intelligence testing produces an Oxford-based society for smarty-pants who, it turns out, mostly want to solve puzzles, and Ken is shamed for identifying an antelope. Certificate #43519.

In which the U.S. military battles black marketing and currency destabilization by paying Korea- and Vietnam-era servicemembers in play money, and John learns about a 1990s fad for the first time. Certificate #46965.

In which an unfinished Holocaust "dramedy" gains a reputation as the worst movie ever made even though no one has ever seen it, and Ken thinks a lot about dog poop. Certificate #46512.

In which an MIT professor worried about a digital future accidentally creates the field of human-machine conversation, and John flirts with a 54-year-old computer program. Certificate #36441.

In which a shy Chicago student becomes one of the most famous rock fans in America by virtue of her anatomically correct artwork, and John offers Ken an unwanted present. Certificate #30889.

In which a doddering general saves America from an alarming alternate history in which the Confederacy takes over the nation instead of seceding, and Ken objurgates against several things (but especially slavery). Certificate #15899.

In which an unnamed Greek shipping magnate "jumbo-izes" an oil tanker so big that it can't even navigate the English Channel, and John ponders digging a canal between Seattle and Omaha. Certificate #36640.

In which thousands of Mesoamerican "toys" in museums around the world turn out to be terrifying vessels for the screams of wind and death, and Ken dreams of wearing "Bespin fatigues." Certificate #34995.

In which the Department of Energy decides upon a bizarre way to transport nuclear warheads, and Ken applauds the conservation of Cold War consonants. Certificate #25154.

In which a feisty Texan single mom comes up with the gimmick that puts a friendly face on the appalling direct sales industry, and John recommends kicking a bear. Certificate #29266.

In which the Platonic ideal of American "prep" fashion catches on with Japanese hipsters before it does back home, and Ken finds someone to blame for his short Uniqlo pants. Certificate #21125.

In which a 1946 election in George results in chaos, fraud, public drunkenness, and broken furniture, and John decides to become a potato-hating beekeeper in retirement. Certificate #27176.

In which the very first amendment to the Bill of Rights, outlining the future of U.S. government, gets forgotten on its path to ratification, and Ken insults Delaware. Certificate #21125.

In which a hilariously minimalistic grocery ghetto blooms in no-frills Carter-era America, and John chases a memory of uniformed women plying him with cheese cubes. Certificate #34402.

In which the art of music recording is revolutionized by a troubled British record producer who doesn't read or play music, and Ken can't really think of any guitar pedals. Certificate #37241.

In which our modern recycling fervor is shaped by a mob boss who can't find a port for three thousand tons of Long Island garbage, and John has a dining room full of tin. Certificate #26561.

In which the nightmarish complexity of the world's non-standardized rail systems is marveled at, and Ken hatches a zeppelin-related plan to resurrect Dame Agatha Christie. Certificate #48966.

In which a single TV series builds the modern image of American police as righteous and efficient, despite much evidence to the contrary, and John uses its theme song in the bedroom. Certificate #35498.

In which we trace the convoluted, "kooky-wawa" genealogy that identifies the Spanish playboy banker who should be sitting the French throne, and John wants to be a ski-town sheriff. Certificate #24409.

In which we study the history of oversized roadside advertising all the way from ancient Egypt to Blade Runner, and Ken is skeptical about yellow-and-green election posters. Certificate #50861.

In which a century of German diplomacy is repeatedly hamstrung by their inept telegraphy-related decisions, and Ken has some notes about the poster for Jaws 2. Certificate #51969.

In which the dark days of the 1980s are brightened by the sudden appearance in Sunday newspaper supplements of the world's smartest person, and John tries to buy a mean t-shirt about Ken. Certificate #51993.

In which the we learn that that story of America's most famous false teeth is upsetting for reasons that go way beyond dental pain, and Ken calls George Washington the ultimate NIMBY. Certificate #35120.

In which puzzled medieval rabbis decide that it's not Adam and Eve—it's Adam and Lilith and Eve and Eve, and John wonders if anyone ate beets in the Garden of Eden. Certificate #14309.

In which a kitchen gadgeteer harnesses the power of late-night television to create a new American art form, the infomercial--but wait, there's more! Ken thinks music shouldn't come from a scarf. Certificate #32041.

In which a stubborn Yugoslavian air hostess sets a world record by surviving a six-mile fall from the sky, and John misplaces the Carpathians. Certificate #33008.

In which America's forests and suburbs are ravaged by a strange invader brought by bark beetles, and Ken insists on comparing tree sap to mucus even though no one wants that. Certificate #27612.

In which post-war trauma and idealism inspire world cities to try a new kind of diplomacy, and John has big plans for Cluj-Napoca, Romania. Certificate #39656.

In which the CIA becomes convinced that acid-laced cocktails are the solution to all our Cold War intelligence problems, and Ken suggests a new variant of foosball. Certificate #28598.

In which a Victorian parlor game about poultry and tweezers blossoms into a tongue twister, a comedy act, and a broadcasting test, and John tunes a guitar because Frank Zappa isn't available. Certificate #34596.

In which an evil cabal of lightbulb manufacturers realizes they can sell more product if bulbs burn out faster, and Ken decides he invented Teddy Ruxpin. Certificate #24473..

In which a Siberia-obsessed Russian mystic counts a future U.S. vice president among his acolytes, and John offers up our softest poets to the mosquitoes of Alaska. Certificate #43738.

In which we look back at the complex and clandestine history of sexual signaling in gay culture, and Ken thinks a lot of decades have the wrong adjectives. Certificate #34366.

In which a Victorian food faddist persuades America and Europe to chew each bite of onion over seven hundred times, and John discovers what Woodrow Wilson would look like if he were an embezzler. Certificate #32596.

In which a patriotic young colonist serves bravely in the American Revolution without anyone realizing she's secretly a woman, and Ken accuses a lot of deadbeat dads of doing murders in Maine. Certificate #37232.

In which children's love of model trains is reinvigorated in our era by an odd British TV property with an odd British ideology, and John thinks helicopters are probably hippies. Certificate #49600.

In which surprisingly large mussels provide the world's finest cloth to a shrinking number of old Mediterranean women, and Ken wonders what a Tibetan antelope smells like. Certificate #29379.

In which the Carter Administration waffles so long on a groundbreaking civil rights law that disabled protestors take over a federal building for almost a month, and John considers building a maze full of wolverines. Certificate #30708.

In which a French baker discovers an unusual muscular ability that makes him an international star, and Ken works on his Kegels mid-recording. Certificate #22584.

In which the discoverer of neutron stars is largely ignored for her achievement, and John wonders about the precise verbiage to summon "Beetlejuice." Certificate #52246.

In which the BBC employs a high-tech surveillance fleet to find out if Britons are seeing Doctor Who illegally, and Ken watches Monday Night Football on Tuesday nights. Certificate #48968.

In which fifteen men in a dirigible, to say nothing of the dog, conquer the North Pole while arguing all the way, and John wonders if there are Italians on the Moon. Certificate #23607.

In which we examine the secondary market for Olympic medals, Nobel Prizes, game show trophies, and other awards, and Ken and John struggle to remember if Watson or Crick is the bad one. Certificate #2504.

In which one press-ganged sailor's quick thinking and bravery ends an invasion of Ireland and changes the course of history, while John and Ken disagree over the meaning of Elton John lyrics. Certificate #50975.

In which Alaska chooses to make a cheerfully lawless gold rush villain into a beloved folk hero, and Ken wonders if he's married to a dice-rolling confidence artist. Certificate #35570.

In which history's most widely read theologian is revealed to be an eccentric Los Angeles cartoonist and conspiracy theorist who looks like Slim Pickens, and John notices that religious pamphlets mostly appear in places where bad things happen. Certificate #31387.

In which a Listerine label-printing company publishes what goes on to become the most popular cookbook in American history, and Ken imagines Wall Street Journal portraits of seafood. Certificate #38738.

In which one of the great Pop Art geniuses of his century accidentally becomes a one-hit wonder with an iconic bit of typography, and John regrets never entering into an arranged marriage. Certificate #37350.

In which we are reminded that the modern global communication network still relies on unwiedly physical cables running along the sea-floor, tempting Russian spies and itchy whales, and Ken enjoys the word "gutta-percha." Certificate #34332.

In which the phenomenon of "illusory superiority" causes a gradual creep of ratings and reputations in every field, from maple syrup to dunks to dress sizes, and John is universally praised by his rideshare drivers. Certificate #45417.

In which a consortium of gemologists tries to persuade vacationers of the hottest new thing in jewelry, which Ken considers to be the Sammy Hagar of birthstones. Certificate #48596.

In which filthy Restoration comedy, Horatio Alger, and a sensational murder trial conspire to create a very odd pick-up line, and John requires an extra syllable in "Tijuana." Certificate #2793.

In which John Wayne buys a decommissioned minesweeper as his luxury yacht and it outlasts its more famous French sister ship, which is probably now full of slugs. Certificate #28232.

In which a failed periscope inventor predicts the greatest disaster of his time with apparently paranormal accuracy, and special guest Aimee Mann is warned away from the supernatural in no uncertain terms. Certificate #27264.

In which the west is won by long fleets of covered wagons "sailing" on to the Oregon Territory, and Ken thinks it was mistake to capitalize the Northwest Passage. Certificate #18089.

In which the European powers scramble to claim an infant pile of basalt in the Mediterranean, and John wonders how steampunk the Libyan submarine fleet might be. Certificate #50204.

In which John describes environmentally friendly modern alternatives to burial, and refuses to apologize for leaving an urn full of ashes under his piano for a decade. Certificate #37628.

In which amateur algebra experts figure out where the planets in the solar system should be, and are (briefly) proven right, and Ken gets his hair cut by a ghost. Certificate #36737.

In which the modern insurance industry is born when medieval Italian merchants form syndicates to manage risk, and Ken manages risk by making people order pancakes. Certificate #46598.

In which dumb campus fads return to the American spotlight in 1973 thanks to a mild winter and legions of nude undergrads, and John gradually remembers his own complicated streaking history. Certificate #41916.

In which the Great White North is serviced and explored by the greatest bush plane of all time, and Ken decides that aircraft shouldn't be named after bugs. Certificate #35435.

In which pre-Columbian civilizations spend thousands of years banging each other up with heavy rubber balls, and John tries to replace professional sports with stick-fighting. Certificate #28586.

In which a droll Long Island reporter and his newsroom buddies accidentally create one of the all-time great dirty books, and Ken is skeptical of the nudist lifestyle. Certificate #50150.

In which a hippie-hating cartoonist accidentally creates a (slightly) gender-equalizing campus tradition, and John spends hours poring over newspaper bridge columns. Certificate #44390.

In which a very old Native American trading pidgin becomes a regional language and 20th-century slang, and Ken goes to a movie theater that basically confessed to genocide. Certificate #5725.

In which the world's tallest tribe, if they even exist, are enslaved by Ferdinand Magellan and downsized by subsequent visitors, and John reminds us of the importance of good posture. Certificate #33392.

In which one rough night for a traveling salesman in Akron, Ohio births a new spiritual approach to addiction recovery, and Ken suggests some interesting anagrams for post-human Presbyterian listeners. Certificate #19544.

In which a generation of traumatized Japanese young people increasingly decide never to come out of their bedrooms, whereas John insists on dying alone. Certificate #50644.

In which we learn that ruminants are eating a lot more metal nowadays than they used to, and that Ken would like to have a gravel spoon at dinner. Certificate #28929

In which British documentarians and Austin slackers alike use the movies to unveil the mysteries of aging and mortality, and John leaves a series of women waiting for him at train stations in Spain. Certificate #48149

In which the 1980s fad for charity pop singles inspires an ambitious geographic stunt, and Ken plans a foolproof way to assassinate Jamie Farr. Certificate #26004

In which the bizarre 1989 American invasion of Panama kicks off our modern era of on-the-nose Pentagon naming conventions, and John is reminded of a dominatrix, as usual. Certificate #19345.

In which the First World War begins in an unexpected fashion, with two ocean liners blowing holes in each other off the coast of Brazil, and Ken gets gaslit into buying a tuxedo. Certificate #32056.

In which an African tribe proves so eager to please that they convince generations of ethnographers that alien visitors from Sirius are real, and John gets annoyed that ancient astronauts never invented baseball. Certificate #26731.

In which an early fast food boom, Greek immigration, and (of course) the World's Fair conspire to trick Ohioans into redefining "chili," and John gets justifiably upset about bananas on spaghetti. Certificate #24598.

In which a Vermonter with an ill-conceived dream brings skiiing very briefly to the Sooner State, and Ken attempts to secure his family some very rare Pokemon cards. Certificate #17398.

In which an American candy company refuses to honor a longstanding bit of playground lollipop lore, and Ken tries to calculate the homeopathic healing power of Tootsie Rolls. Certificate #33486.

In which Renaissance satirists and modern amateur historians accidentally create a physiologically impossible medieval device, and John has a theory about locksmiths and cocaine. Certificate #49406.

In which a forgotten medieval art of tree-harvesting is revived by the sustainability movement, and Ken blames the coming environmental catastrophe on "sugar energy." Certificate #22560.

In which the American architect of post-World War II global capitalism turns out to have a dark and traitorous secret, and John imagines he would be a huge hassle for his spy handlers. Certificate #25923.

In which we find General Motors and its corporate co-conspirators not guilty on the charge of killing American streetcar lines, and Ken gets very excited about funicular railways. Certificate #14871.

In which the president of the United States lies to the nation about how he got three ounces of crack cocaine into the Oval Office, and John is asked to leave a crime scene. Certificate #34620.

In which an ancient Mesopotamian board game briefly becomes a 1970s signifier for glamour and sophistication, and Ken's life is changed by an intense childhood game of Clue. Certificate #31179.

In which an outsider artist hides a rabbit by a statue and thereby gets a million people to start digging up the English countryside, and John "man-solves" a Satanic temple. Certificate #14162.

In which a room full of MIT train nerds becomes ground zero for modern American hacker culture and computer architecture, and Ken blames Star Wars for ruining children's toys. Certificate #33564.

In which the Byzantine throne is contested by various Machiavellian schemes willing to mutilate the noses of their political rivals, and John reveals which Marx brother he is most sexually attracted to. Certificate #34954.

In which a World War I army camp in northern Kentucky is chosen to house over $200 billion in gold bullion, and Ken proposes nationalizing America's safety deposit boxes. Certificate #2504.

In which we learn why new highway lanes, no matter how spacious, tend to fill to capacity within weeks of opening, and John takes on a hypothetical megacorporation called Goober. Certificate #38938.

In which ecologically problematic outdoor power tools accidentally become an official part of the Omnibus, all because John's neighbor refuses to call "Leafbusters." Certificate #25458.

In which a Spokane antique store creates a fake Bavarian holiday tradition from scratch, and John's beard makes him look bigger. Certificate #31503.

In which we examine the broadcast-jamming fad of the 1980s, including a puzzling incident involving a masked Chicago prankster, and Ken wants to be a font cop. Certificate #29692.

In which a strange, sticky new protein is declared—on the basis of very little evidence—to be a cure-all in the war against cancer, and Ken refuses to make the necessary sacrifices to become a skateboarding star. Certificate #40478.

In which a 19th-century countess overcomes her father's scandalous celebrity and her mother's love of parallelograms to become the world's first computer programmer, and John comes to regret renaming Alexa. Certificate #46507.

In which we learn that America's love affair with do-si-dos is a relatively recent and artificial form of nostalgia jump-started by Henry Ford's hatred for jazz, and Ken misremembers "krumping." Certificate #42537.

In which an oddly named model of Toyota pickup becomes the truck of choice for Marty McFly, Top Gear fans, polar explorers, and ISIS. Certificate #16197

In which one of Queen Victoria's ladies-in-waiting atones for her gossip scandals at court by inventing a brand new meal, and John blames museum docents for all his schedule problems. Certificate #48479.

In which an Irish immigrant pretending to be an old lady becomes a star of the American labor movement, and Ken ponders the death of middle initials. Certificate #12952.

In which Ken blames the weirdest ballet premiere of all time on class warfare, bad hair and costuming choices, and anti-Russian xenophobia, and John renames the sport of gymnastics. Certificate #31616.

In which one canny Detroit billionaire manages to gain sole control of the linchpin of American foreign trade, and John repeatedly insists he is not giving advice to terrorists. Certificate #36634.

In which lawns are revealed to be covering three times as much of America as any other crop, and Ken explains why the tallgrass prairies of the 19th century produced no great tennis players. Certificate #31632.

In which Victorian England becomes obsessed with the beautiful fronds and sexy lifestyle of ferns, and John brings the Arts and Crafts movement to the grunge era. Certificate #31358.

In which a Dominican diplomat cozies up to one of history's worst dictators, marries the two richest women in the world, and creates our modern image of the macho "Latin lover," and Ken tries to revive some slang from 1980s sex comedies. Certificate #41003.

In which Ronald Reagan, of all people, introduces a new legal philosophy of marriage and divorce to America in 1970, though it takes New York forty years to catch up. Certificate #27256.

In which a single 1961 comic book births a multiverse and reshapes our modern understanding of parallel dimensions in art as well as life, and John wistfully fantasizes about an honest Hitler. Certificate #46819.

In which the "mondo" shock movie craze of the 1960s inspires a morbid megahit that turns out to be more hoax than documentary, and monkey brains make their big-screen debut. Certificate #41907.

In which the origins of America's favorite 21st-century horror trope are traced back to the miseries of Caribbean plantation slavery, which is a huge bummer, and John ponders the role of squash in the afterlife. Certificate #49964.

In which an American dairy surplus and some dubious policy decisions creates a processed welfare staple of the Reagan era, and Ken reveals his favorite lunchmeat. Certificate #24553.

In which one of America's great folk heroes is revealed as a Swedenborgian mystic, a land baron, and⁠—to John's mind⁠—a 19th-century weed dealer. Certificate #36692.

In which humankind's dream of flying with the birds leads through all manner of weird ornithopters and flying bikes to a very low-altitude crossing of the English Channel, and John aces the Pepsi Challenge on a boat. Certificate #20913.

In which an unscrupulous Michigan music promoter dispatches fake versions of one of the great bands of rock's British Invasion, and John wages his own copyright battle against a legendary pioneer woman. Certificate #51274.

In which the chaos of Europe around 1900 produces a literary hoax that powers a century of anti-Semitism and conspiracy theories, and Ken shares his distrust of sports stadiums. Certificate #42869.

In which scholasticism gets roasted for its obsession with thorny, possibly pointless theological questions, and John explains the difference between escalator angels and hobo angels. Certificate #39095.

In which music legend Brian Eno and an artist friend develop a tarot deck for beating writer's block, and Ken uses lateral thinking to determine that John and Mary were goldfish. Certificate #26638.

In which a mountaineering legend disappears in Pakistan, his game show icon widow becomes convinced he's secretly a spy, and John dresses like the worst kind of CIA agent. Certificate #31997.

In which America's love for French celebrity guests and her abundance of corporate litter combine to create an iconic New York tradition, and Ken ponders what to do with a giant Styrofoam version of his head. Certificate #9509.

In which a helpful new phone app is developed to prevent Icelanders from dating their cousins, which may tragically keep them outside of the "Goldilocks Zone" of inbreeding. Certificate #20625.

In which the canonical greatest innovation of modern life turns out to be a result of uneven toaster technology, and John builds the worst soapbox racer of all time. Certificate #50925.

In which a German church organ perform a John Cage composition so slowly that the concert will last 639 years, and Ken has an opinion on who the horniest characters are in Middle-earth. Certificate #24524.

In which a horrorcore rap-rock duo from Detroit accidentally creates a global army of misfits and outcasts, and Pearl Jam gets John thrown in jail five times. Certificate #32373.

In which a combination of Cold War paranoia and good old-fashioned racism convince America that deliciously "umami" Asian food is actually killing them, and Ken eats kelp in a kayak. Certificate #21879.

In which two overeager fighter pilots chase down a runaway drone over Southern California, accidentally lighting much of the state on fire, and John wants to be a marshal of some kind. Certificate #31303.

In which an adventurous Prussian polymath single-handedly revolutionizes modern science, and even helps kick-start the liberation of South America and the environmental movement, and John and Ken ponder their own inevitable disappearance down the memory hole. Certificate #41705.

In which a vaudeville baby whistler becomes the world's first movie star and goes on to invent the electric windshield wiper, and Ken's knowledge of Ogden Nash insults finally comes in handy. Certificate #52050.

In which many of the most commonly taught grammar and usage rules in English are revealed to be arbitrary, made-up, out-of-date, or all three, and John explains why Miss Manners should be in charge of the Internet. Certificate #41607.

In which an eccentric metallurgist with a theater troupe begins one of the strangest science experiments in history and learns that humankind might not be ready for Mars yet, and Ken watches Jeff Bezos injure a fig tree. Certificate #34308.

In which we follow the history of government games of chance from ancient China to today's bankrupt Powerball millionaires, and John grifts his elementary school out of a side of beef. Certificate #32943.

In which a bygone errand, developing vacation snapshots, becomes so widespread that it gets its own chain of drive-thru kiosks, and Ken's mom looks great in a red knit jumper and gold polyester turtleneck. Certificate #38597.

In which four mysterious cones are unearthed from proto-Celtic Europe, perhaps holding untold secrets of the calendar and cosmos, and John is surrounded by the happy nudists of the Danube. Certificate #23490

In which a periodic "atmospheric river" from the Pacific Ocean threatens to put a quarter of Californians underwater in the very near future, which scares Ken so much that he decides to drill holes in his couch. Certificate #23973.

In which the legal and creative rights of a crested macaque are debated on the world stage, and we learn Ken wants to look like Popeye. Certificate #2720.

In which two savvy farmers try to corner the market on onions by buying up the whole Midwestern supply, and John compares Gerald Ford to a Jesuit. Certificate #25671.

In which rock's most cryptic genius shocks the world by being "born again," releasing three uneven gospel albums and annoying a lot of concertgoers. Certificate #39323.

In which doomed Arctic explorers and a spiritualist's vacuum sealer help revolutionize the science of food storage, and John reveals that his "dueling scars" are actually from drinking cold canned pasta. Certificate #42072.

In which over a century of mathematicians are unable to solve a geometry problem straight out of a coloring book, computers provide their first ever math "proof," and Ken challenges John to map a donut. Certificate #28876.

In which a fictional pipe-smoking salesman invents a new quasi-religion for ironists, Discordians, and weirdos, and Ken believes he could have prevented the Trojan War. Certificate #31147.

In which CBS cancels a full slate of country-fried programming, reinventing TV and marginalizing rural America, and John somehow watches an awful lot of Hee Haw. Certificate #36841.

In which one of the key nutrients for all life on Earth washes inexorably into the ocean all day every day, which really stresses Ken out. Certificate #52178

In which Queen Elizabeth's top astrologer dreams up the British Empire, solar power, and possibly even James Bond, and then loses his whole reputation to a charlatan with no earlobes, leading John to create a list of scientists who should have stayed in their lane. Certificate #44269

In which the U.S. military builds hundreds of thousands of weird half-cylindrical shelters out of corrugated steel, and Ken reports on what they would look like with stained-glass windows. Certificate #35704

In which we remember Frank Zappa's favorite 1950s fad, brought to you by the inventor of Mad Libs, and John remembers why people actually thought a Sasquatch lived on top of the Space Needle back in foggier times. Certificate #48261.

In which hundreds of thousands of people dress in big plush animal suits as a hobby, identity, or fetish, and Ken explains the secret Family Feud notebooks of his childhood. Certificate #26505

In which a tiny village secedes from the United States to join the Confederacy and forgets to rejoin for almost a century--even though it's in upstate New York just miles from the Canadian border. Certificate #42052.

In which two of the world's smartest electrochemists get fooled by a botched experiment and the promise of fame, and John reveals that GPS mysticism is his pseudoscience. Certificate #19668.

In which over a hundred of Honolulu's elite private school students are shipped off to some of the world's most remote islands on a top-secret government mission, and Ken wonders if sea turtles can feel dread. Certificate #22194.

In which we learn how a historical delicacy of Croatia got bastardized into a staple of American cocktails and sundaes, and John is upset when his third grade teacher pays him in ice cream instead of cash. Certificate #28197.

In which we trace script handwriting from ancient Egypt all the way up to the modern culture wars, and John and Ken argue over the ugliest cursive capital letter: is it J or Q? Certificate #32892.

In which the messy orange-eating of a runaway heiress creates a colorful new summer look for American women, and Ken goes way too far with his Kennedy assassination theories. Certificate #12306.

In which America's two greatest dinosaur hunters ruin their lives in an unhinged battle of spite and revenge, which John finds extremely romantic. Certificate #24269.

In which two of the greatest rock guitarists of all time pine after the same woman, each marry her in turn, and somehow stay friends. Certificate #42401.

In which we remember the 1950s charity drive to raise reindeer funds for a tribe of Scandinavian telepaths--a problem they really should have seen coming. Certificate #37239.

In which a re-designed school binder becomes a mandatory school accessory and one of the great marketing successes of the 1980s, and Ken spends hours looking at erasers shaped like sushi. Certificate #31310.

In which an Esperanto-loving stage mom raises America's first celebrity child prodigy, who writes one of history's most famous poems before vanishing into a cloud of bigamy and scandal. Certificate #35551.

In which John visits one of the most underwhelming (and breakable) landmarks in American history, and explains why its entire history is almost certainly made up. Certificate #33004.

In which America discovers Tex-Mex food at Disneyland, leading to the invention of Doritos and "extreme" snack foods, and Ken has clam chowder in his car. Certificate #42729.

In which we follow an army of exiled Polish soldiers from Siberia to Iran to Scotland, and learn why they taught a Syrian brown bear to carry ammo and eat cigarettes. Certificate #41871.

In which we learn about palming doorknobs, spotting bunco artists and fornicators, and other old tricks of the "hotel dick" trade, and John steals some room service pizza. Certificate #51720.

In which a series of underqualified officers and vague, sweeping gestures lead to a terrible military debacle, a good sweater, and a catchy poem, and Ken expresses some skepticism about Captain von Trapp. Certificate #38694.

In which the freethinkers of the Enlightenment take a stab at designing a 100% secular timekeeping system from the ground up, and John wants to be called "Goldenrod." Certificate #44270.

In which we go through the weird list of things glimpsed by noted paranormal researcher Jimmy Carter, including a hissing marsh rabbit and a UFO that the Air Force wants you to think is barium. Certificate #21432.

In which one of the most beloved sitcom stars in America tries out the worst comedy idea of all time, and John has a theory about anti-Semitism in the Aliens movies. Certificate #22400.

In which we explain the squeaky-clean tawdriness of casual dining chains that put all the servers in tank tops, and Ken wonders if you can eat hot wings ironically. Certificate #37739.

In which a chronically ill British woman decides that God wants her to kill a fascist dictator, and Ken and John argue over whether or not an assassination plot needs a chalkboard. Certificate #16114.

In which, after centuries of stagnation, the sport of skiing is revolutionized in a matter of three years, and John is forced to sign a hand-written waiver. Certificate #34056.

In which the rivers of Colombia teem with African hippos due to the excesses of a long-dead drug lord, and Ken suggests introducing Welsh corgis to the Amazon rainforest. Certificate #37768.

In which an MIT fraternity prank creates a new unit of measurement and annoys Boston police, and John wins a million dollars on an imaginary quiz show about Maine. Certificate #50326.

In which a Dutch painter creates surreal hellscapes so mysterious and full of butts that no one knows what he was even thinking, and Ken explains why bagpipes are very, very erotic. Certificate #17086.

In which a funding impasse and clever fast food franchises put a one-of-a-kind stoplight right in the middle of a Pennsylvania interstate, and Ken misremembers who built the Lincoln Highway. Certificate #31424.

In which Sir Isaac Newton adds an extra color to the rainbow to make his mystical, musical math come out right, and John has strong feelings about Satan's marital status. Certificate #26015.

In which John goes to the Caribbean, learns how cruise ships crack 20,000 eggs in a week, and begins to comparison-shop the amazing Rube Goldberg inventions involved. Certificate #27021.

In which an indomitable woman from Provence defies actuaries by living to be 122 years old, shadowy Russian forces try to discredit her, and Ken predicts which Saturday Night Live cast members will be centenarians. Certificate #43762.

In which one tech company's fondest dream—to turn Butterball turkey offal into light crude oil—remains tantalizingly out of reach, and John and Ken worry about whether they're recycling waxed paper correctly. Certificate #26207.

In which a Hollywood ingenue survives her encounters with birds, angry lions, and creepy directors, and survives to become the godmother of one of America's great immigrant business empires. Certificate #28046.

In which a hot dog vendor and an anonymous cabbie invent one of the all-time great American foods, giving Philadelphians classic choices like "Whiz or provolone," "wit' onions or wit'out," and "xenophobia or not." Certificate #6594.

In which the Earth's magnetic field turns the North Pole into the South Pole every few hundred thousand years, and John and Ken discuss what effect this might have on the aurora borealis, ski-bum turtles, and North Dakota tourism. Certificate #41220.

In which one seemingly doomed Colorado rooster lucks into a kind of zombie Charlotte's Web scenario, and Ken and John disagree over whether a "meat puppet" is a kind of food. Certificate #21086.

In which the most trusted man in the state of Kentucky disappears with tobacco sacks full of the state treasury, and John and Ken discover which prominent U.S. government official is almost always a Latina. Certificate #23421.

In which the American railroad provides a semi-legal travel network for millions of migrant laborers, and John explains how a sufficiently blond mustache on a young hobo can ward off evil. Certificate #14946.

In which the French army accepts thousands of rogues and ne'er-do-wells from all over the world, giving them white helmets and a whole lot of wine, and Ken suggests a new method for reheating Hot Pockets. Certificate #36749.

In which one driven girl from the backwoods of Georgia changes the face of aviation, Ken roasts astronaut Scott Carpenter, and John skips class to judge an essay contest. Certificate #39584.

In which travelers to one of the most dangerous places on earth leave so many casualties behind in the "Death Zone" that they literally become part of the map. Certificate #7505.

In which a skilled but self-absorbed Swedish musician leaves his homeland to become a guitar god, and John explains his theory about how neoclassicism ruined rock. Certificate #26394.

In which countless scofflaws, including George Washington, rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars in library fines, and Ken takes home a "spite book." Certificate #29342.

In which Syrian ascetics and American steeplejacks alike enjoy the weirdest fad of all time, and Ken angers marathon runners. Certificate #45561.

In which a fifth-grader from Maine becomes a diplomatic sensation after writing a nervous letter to Moscow, and John remembers the only fan letter he ever wrote. Certificate #35519.

In which we learn that one very specific region of West Africa produces more twins than anywhere else on earth, which could be due to heredity, yams, or, in Ken's mind, a mysterious glowing meteorite. Certificate #29437.

In which the dreams of the French Revolution are finally fulfilled by modern physicists eager to re-define science itself from scratch, which probably triggered the alien landing in May 2019. Certificate #37545.

In which a gas crisis and an early social media network conspire to make long-haul truck drivers national heroes, and Ken gives a big 10-4 to a heroic trucker named "Fuzzy." Certificate #25007.

In which we read the Victorian novel that, a century later, would start an avalanche of body-swapping movie comedies, and John tries to debunk the blind prophet Tiresias. Certificate #30972.

In which we follow up on the forty-two offspring of the "grandmother of Europe," including the one who led Germany into World War I and the one who might have been Jack the Ripper. Certificate #26374.

In which a revenge-crazed football coach runs up a 222-0 score against a squad of random law students and townies, and John explains why his go-to comedy move is dropping his pants. Certificate #26347.

In which Franklin Roosevelt builds a secret, private train station under the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, and John almost defects to East Germany in a gaily colored ski jacket. Certificate #33725.

In which a Vermont farmer unveils to the world a natural beauty of crystalline perfection that's been hiding in plain sight, and Ken and John decide to slander Buzz Aldrin for some reason. Certificate #16919.

In which we study the spurving bearings and hydrocoptic marzlevanes of the made-up machine that brought technobabble to the masses, and John actually encourages Ken to talk about Star Trek for a change. Certificate #45305.

In which one Gilded Age influencer puts Santa at the North Pole because he hates slavery so much and runs New York's most powerful man out of town on a rail because he hates the Irish so much. Certificate #33423.

In which peace and holiday good will break out on the western front in 1914, partly due to the work of suffragettes, and it changes the tourism industry forever. Also, Ken defends fruitcake. Certificate #31405.

In which we explore one of the weirdest funeral superstitions of pagan Europe, and John explains why he likes to retell Aesop's Fables from the bad guys' point of view. Certificate #44411.

In which one artist redefines eroticism for the MTV generation, and John gets stuck with a very overpriced piece of Duran Duran memorabilia. Certificate #31513.

In which a South Carolina slave seizes a heavily armed Confederate ship and sails it to freedom and instant celebrity, whereas Ken doesn't even own a hatchet. Certificate #38760.

In which a hard-to-kill Asian insect arrives in America and discovers a delightful new predator-free life eating our produce, hiding behind our picture frames, and making everything smell like cilantro-infused sewage. Certificate #30979.

In which Ken accidentally goes on vacation to a long submerged, 2,000-year-old forest, and John explains the value he can add to a rugby game or campfire. Certificate #1751.

In which 1970s and 1980s TV is overrun by an avalanche of orphans, runaways, and other wisecracking moppets, and John reveals that Oscar the Grouch is a witch in a "fursuit." Certificate #37500.

In which the Islamic practice of facing Mecca in prayer becomes a thorny theological and geographical question, particularly for Muslims in Alaska, French Polynesia, or low-earth orbit. Certificate #2405.

In which we consider America's favorite gourd as a botanical mystery, a symbol of autumn, a Civil War flashpoint, an Illinois monoculture, a delivery vehicle for condensed milk, and an instrument of Starbucks-related misogyny and class warfare. Certificate #36525.

In which the Cajun cooking fad of the 1980s spawns a hazardous new holiday favorite, and Ken's wife flips us the bird. Certificate #30269.

In which a tiny French minority in the Pyrenees is shunned and hated for reasons no one can quite remember, and John pronounces the words "goose foot" more capably than Ken. Certificate #28287.

In which the notorious "Miser of Acton" forgets to sign his will, and for over a century thousands of people--including Ken's family--become convinced they are rightful heirs to his $300 million fortune. Certificate #23502.

In which a troubled street performer becomes a beloved musician and helps found a landmark record label, Ken buys a booby-trapped painting, and John critiques the storytelling of celebrity children. Certificate #49895.

In which the U.S. government tries to ban a Rod Serling TV movie for inspiring too many mid-air extortions, all of which can be foiled by knowing the right trivia fact about Denver. Certificate #41961.

In which a Lancashire grocer and pub landlord becomes the most skilled executioner of all time, and John explains the best part of being guillotined. Certificate #21776.

In which a Colorado housewife and her tractor dealer friend jump-start the 1950s "reincarnation" fad, and Ken ponders whether or not he was "Endora" in a past life. Certificate #29314.

In which a 16th-century jack-of-all-trades judiciously joins a jaunty new Johnny-come-lately to our jargon because he's just so jazzed about Jesus. Juxtaposed with John's jumbled jeremiads and Jennings's juvenile jokes. Certificate #23082.

In which Thomas Jefferson, Napoleon, and Goethe go nuts about a best-selling blind Celtic bard who might not even exist, and John writes his first Tolkien fanfic. Certificate #28002

In which military scientists, flush from their success annoying Manuel Noriega with Doors music, try to find that one elusive noise that will liquefy their enemies' bowels. Certificate #42964.

In which John and Ken learn that they share a "chronotype," but disagree over whether it's natural to spend an hour or two every night sitting naked in a chair. Certificate #38846.

In which we ponder two questions: are we living on the inside of a concave sphere? Or is someone else down there, possibly with skimpy outfits and pet dinosaurs? Certificate #19429.

In which the biggest media franchise and the biggest augmented reality game of all time cause us to consider Zionist trading cards, the allure of wooden boats, and the feng shui of construction workers. Certificate #41843.

In which the Soviet Union detonates the biggest bomb in human history, and Ken imagines Nikita Khrushchev as a pro wrestler and a Bond villain. Certificate #20568.

In which we meet one of the last nomadic people on the planet and admire their dress code, and John identifies strongly with a camel that roars when loaded heavily. Certificate #42973

In which mass hysteria strikes the town squares of medieval Europe, John imagines the rigors of jute underwear, and Ken wonders if aliens ever start orgies. Certificate #21161.

In which the world's largest, boxiest truck fleet ages into its fourth decade, and John hunts for an elusive postal mascot from his childhood.  Certificate #35752

In which we learn why one of Europe's most isolated countries is dotted with hundreds of thousands of domed concrete pillboxes, and also why zombie movies are thinly veiled racism. Certificate #46673

In which the war between album-oriented rock and its mortal enemy disco boils over into the worst baseball promotion in history, and Ken reveals what 1970s music they play in heaven. Certificate #25815.

In which a huckster and meteorite-hunter, facing a business disaster, starts a still-brewing secession movement on the Oregon-California border, and also we contemplate who all the Looney Tunes characters voted for. Certificate #26085.

In which we learn what happens when an infinite number of tour buses arrive at an infinite hotel with no vacancies, and decide whether or not this is worse than the guest services at the Eagles' Hotel California. Certificate #44261.

In which a minor 1950s celebrity births America's modern cultural war, and Ken gets to complain about his two least favorite things: bigotry, and orange juice. Certificate #31531

In which a medieval crusade to Jerusalem goes off the rails and ends up sacking the world's greatest Christian city instead. Certificate #11758.

In which an angry teenager in his local library produces a counterculture classic of booby-trap design, leading to John being suspended from junior high for anarcho-capitalism. Certificate #33047.

In which Napoleon Bonaparte is disrespected by John's mom, but almost rescued by an English smuggler in a steampunk submarine. Certificate #37796.

In which John welcomes the microbes from a Montana copper sludge pit who will surely inherit the earth, and Ken announces how many syllables a dog's name should have. Certificate #50365.

In which we study the human brain's terrifying capacity for adaptation, via upside-down cigarette lighting, weird-smelling houses, and "stoner" voice. Certificate #37104.

In which John explains why there are only 643 of the greatest guitar ever made, and Kirk Hammett of Metallica pays $2 million for a Fleetwood Mac hand-me-down. Certificate #30784.

In which Sumeria's shiftiest businessman keeps all his hate mail around for four thousand years, and Ken gets accused of counterfeiting by a local bookstore. Certificate #27107.

In which one of America's richest young men gets really into New Guinean tribal art, and ends up getting really into a New Guinean tribe. Certificate #7628.

In which a British newspaper mysteriously spends June 1944 printing top-secret World War II spoilers, and Ken fails to amuse John with a lengthy anagram about a sex scandal. Certificate #29294. 

In which John runs down the history of serial burglary, beginning with gentleman jewel thieves and ending with a plane crash in the Bahamas. Certificate #39409.

In which the Byzantines save their empire by inventing the flamethrower, John clears up a misconception re: how many roads go to Rome, and Ken clears up a misconception re: how many herbs and spices are in KFC. Certificate #10403.

In which John blames the boring skyline of Los Angeles on Regulation Number 10, an ill-conceived attempt at making every building in the city accessible by helicopter. Certificate #38095.

In which NASA gives aliens a weird gift basket (opera arias, a welcome from a Nazi war criminal, a lousy map, and absolutely no nipples!) and Ken gossips about wife-swapping astronomers. Certificate #34914.

In which a piano starts to fall right through the floor of a second-story dining room, and as a result, the White House gets a balcony, a bunker, and a bowling alley. Certificate #47967.

In which two art-world provocateurs fly to Scotland and burn through a record amount of cash in just two hours, and John sings his least favorite novelty song of the 1980s for us. (Hey!) Certificate #5888.

In which John explains the secrets of raccoon hygiene, Ken mistakenly shows up with a ukulele, a straw hat, and a football pennant, and ferret lovers unsubscribe in mass numbers. Certificate #29158.

In which the post office builds a path of giant yellow concrete arrows stretching across the continent, and John questions the sobriety of the pilots of Montana. Certificate #34096.

In which the most devastating twister in American history tears through 235 miles of the Midwest, tossing around trees, railroad tracks, and popcorn stands. Certificate #9101.

In which a Boston woman falls on an icy sidewalk and discovers the secret of the universe, and listeners are encouraged to seek out the most heretical book in their local metaphysical lending library. Certificate #51449.

In which we travel to the "graveyard of empires" to witness the birth of an exciting Soviet-era art form, and Ken learns he should have saved the satin bomber jackets of his childhood. Certificate #39950.

In which tens of thousands of Koreans are forcibly relocated to the deserts of Central Asia and ordered to grow rice, and John refuses to relocate to Kotzebue or Yakutat even though he has a free plane ticket. Certificate #16823.

In which Calvin Coolidge gets a frisky gift from Liberia that ushers zoos into the modern age, and John and Ken fantasize about being president and still sleeping all day. Certificate #47159.

In which a California backyard botanist creates a mysterious new fruit, resulting in one of the century's biggest food fads and reinventing the American vacation. Certificate #36525.

In which the world's catchiest song teaches us how English sounds to overseas ears, and Ken mispronounces the French word for "slithy." Certificate #35645.

In which an eccentric billionaire has the terrible idea to cast John Wayne as Genghis Khan, and a "who's who" of Hollywood gets showered with both bad reviews and radioactive fallout. Certificate #17145.

In which a Volkswagen marque invents the super-car, new acceleration and deceleration records are set, and Ken asks where John was conceived. Certificate #24968.

In which a French-Canadian "voyageur" suffers three indignities: being blasted with buckshot at point-blank range, becoming a full-time medical guinea pig, and having John call him the world's first "human fondue set." Certificate #42453.

In which John traces "preppy" fashion from Buckingham Palace to Hyannis Port to Kinko's, and Ken wonders if everyone on post-collapse Earth owns a navy blazer. Certificate #31310.

In which we examine how flight attendants smile, baby chimps play, botox treats mental illness, and Oscar the Grouch was a harsh wake-up call for Gen X kids. Certificate #42013.

In which a Victory ship full of ammunition ignites a three-mile fireball, which in turn ignites the biggest mutiny trial in American history. Certificate #32844.

In which Raymond Carver becomes a literary superstar largely thanks to one brilliant, heavy-handed editor, and Ken and John share a very controversial Blade Runner take. Certificate #24875.

In which a poison made from dried beetles becomes a schoolyard legend as an alleged aphrodisiac, foreshadowing our modern age of creepy predator celebrities and erectile dysfunction infomercials. Certificate #31327.

In which we learn why the moon looks so much larger at the horizon, whether your fingernails can out-race Portugal, and whether Ken or John has the better Axl Rose impression. Certificate #18042.

In which John runs down the disturbing history of product tampering, from Bromo-Seltzer to baby food, and listeners are strongly discouraged from committing murder. Certificate #27765.

In which a U.S. vice-president spends his entire six-week term dying in Cuba, and Ken reads some fun, flirty letters from future president James Buchanan. Certificate #39087.

In which John explains why it's a bad idea to smelt iron on your deck or patio, a seemingly obvious life tip that seems to have escaped Chairman Mao. Certificate #30148.

In which we celebrate a basketball team that never gets to celebrate, because they've lost to their rivals 17,000 times. Certificate #46102.

In which the U.S. government pixelates the American West with land grants to railroads. Certificate #6798.

In which Ken confesses that he might have caused a land grab in the middle of the Nubian Desert. Certificate #50204.

In which we revisit 1991's briefest, brightest fashion fad, and John ponders what to do with our nation's biggest problem: awkward middle-schoolers. Certificate #26275.

In which an unsuccessful horror writer accidentally rewrites the history of the Western Front, and Ken is clearly annoyed at having to learn the history of the Western Front. Certificate #21873.

In which sneakers keep washing onto the beaches of British Columbia with the feet of mystery people still inside, may God rest their soles. Certificate #27174.

In which Ken runs down the list of everything that could ever be bought by putting coins in slots, from religious awe to banned books to pancake mix. Certificate #16697.

In which we learn why US radio stations start with a K or a W, and how to get hold of Ken's dad in case of a national emergency. Certificate #28337.

In which a Scottish policeman, a Tokyo professor, and Mary Queen of Scots have very loyal dogs, but a young John Roderick does not. Certificate #24139.

In which a prehistoric ice dam breaks and 500 cubic miles of water reshape the Pacific Northwest. Certificate #17528

In which Ken attempts to teach a new superpower--Central Asian overtone singing--to John and a live audience. Certificate #40632.

In which a German record producer hires two male models to lip-sync his hits, leading to--girl, you know it's true!--one Grammy, one class-action lawsuit, and one tragic death. Certificate #35145.

In which a working-class woman becomes one of the greatest scientists of her age, discovers dinosaur poop, and sells seashells by the seashore. Certificate #36073.

In which an aluminum-heavy cruise liner falls on hard times, and John and Ken can't decide if "Blue Riband" is actually French or not. Certificate #39390.

In which Ken describes the nouveau riche of the Amazon rainforest, and John has a conspiracy theory about scarecrows. Certificate #25284.

In which a fiery Canadian gets 30 million Depression-era listeners for his little fascist radio show, and Ken and John pledge fealty to Martian invaders. Certificate #29423

In which a claymation terrorist with inexplicable bunny ears disrupts pizza, takes hostages, and wins America's heart. Certificate #29250

In which the Dutch battle their oldest enemy: the Waterwolf. Almost certainly the Omnibus's last entry (alphabetically). Certificate #31078.

In which we make plans for the longest-awaited death in human history, and wonder how many Welsh corgis it takes to pull a gun carriage. Certificate #34884.

In which John investigates whether or not segassem terces naitnoc sgnos kcor, and Ken wonders why Satan would own a toolshed. Certificate #30148.

In which we learn which Ice Age animal is named after the human nipple, and which modern animal fills John's soul with bloodlust. Certificate #47448.

In which a socialist preacher invents a tricky birth control technique he calls "male continence," leading directly to the lazy Susan and the assassination of an American president. Certificate #34322.

In which Ken blames a crucial bit of fascist iconography on the most successful magazine premium in American history, and John knows the lyrics to "Alaska's Flag" but refuses to sing it. Certificate #37863.

In which John strongly admonishes future listeners not to get sloppy with their headwear, if they have heads. Certificate #25200.

In which the gruesome deaths in early 1960s teen ballads are variously blamed on capitalism, Marlon Brando, chastity, and giant clams. Certificate #34312.

In which the human race barely survives the 20th century. (Well, not all of it, obviously. Picasso didn't, for example.) Certificate #27008

In which the bodies of ancient kings are ground up to fertilize lawns, power locomotives, and paint portraits. Certificate #37891

In which the world's worst chemist gives everyone lead poisoning, and then puts a hole in the ozone layer as an encore. Certificate #25185

In which twenty tourists a year have a psychological breakdown because the most magical city in the world is a little disappointing. Certificate #507

In which John introduces us to the world's last uncontacted tribe—but not literally, because that would be illegal. Certificate #13568

In which a Czech astronomer is hailed as the hero of 1973, only to have his discovery flame out by not flaming out. Then he gets very seasick on a cruise. Certificate #31644

In which John shares the soothing geographic mantra that has got him where he is today: sitting in a bunker teaching 30th-century cockroach-people how to tell medieval Central European principalities apart. Certificate #18088.

In which an upstart British television producer finally answers that age-old question: why don't more classic sitcoms star Adolf Hitler? Certificate #42615.

In which a single highway is paved all the way from Alaska to Argentina--except for one pesky 66-mile gap right in the middle. Certificate #14458.

In which QANTAS begins a top-secret 33-hour nonstop flight between Australia and Ceylon at the height of World War II, right under the noses of the Empire of Japan. Certificate #12248.

In which thousands of soulless corporate executives put little steel toys on their desks but still feel dead inside, and Ken finally learns how those little drinking birds work. Certificate #31932.

In which our two hosts study a book that runs fifty thousand words without a solitary display of our writing plan's fifth symbol. Certificate #6442.

In which Los Angeles stands revealed in all its unquenchable thirst, and is pronounced by John and Ken several times the fun, old-timey way, with a hard 'g'. Certificate #33935.

In which Ken and John struggle to imagine four-dimensional space with the same ease that the inventor of the pitching machine once could. Certificate #28910.

In which John opines that Jennifer Aniston's ubiquitous 1990s-era cut was America's "last hairstyle." Certificate #24193.

In which the aromas of tobacco, coffee, and lavender, meant to revolutionize the motion picture industry, end up nauseating audiences instead, and Ken spoils a 57-year-old surprise cameo. Certificate #18585.

In which the world's most prestigious sporting event goes disastrously wrong, and a Cuban mailman takes a nap. Certificate #28924. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://news.iheart.com/podcast-advertisers

In which the United States and Britain take up arms over one potato-hungry pig. Certificate #43259.

In which an eccentric Shakespeare buff releases two birds in Central Park, and thereby screws up an entire continent's ecosystem. Certificate #27603. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://news.iheart.com/podcast-advertisers

In which throwing people out of windows is strongly endorsed by many hot-headed Czechs, but opposed in no uncertain terms by Ken's great-great-great-great-grandfather. Certificate #32146.

Ken and John provide a time capsule of whimsical recordings for future generations, commemorating the human race's triumphant achievements and its beautiful mundanities. There's no way you want to miss out on these strange-but-true stories.

Twice a week, Ken and John add a new entry to the OMNIBUS, an encyclopedic reference work of strange-but-true stories that they are compiling as a time capsule for future generations.