Forget your Grammys and Oscars, there's only one awards ceremony that everyone's talking about... Well, nearly everyone. Well, mainly animals really. The Natural Histories Comedy Awards! Presented by the completely jawsome Shaun Keaveny (BBC 6 Music), it features comedy monologues from the totally fintastic David Schneider (BBC TVs The Day Today, Knowing Me, Knowing You... with Alan Partridge), the meteoric Harriet Carmichael, and the dung-believable Kathy Clugston. From a parrot with jealousy issues, to an anemone that doesn't want to live forever - this is a unique take on the world of natural history, told by the species themselves. So, if you want to know which member of the animal kingdom defects in the woods, and who's got the biggest tentacles then good reef, you've come to the right place. Producers: Will Drysdale and Jack Soper.

Lonely male whale seeks female with good sense of humour. Interests include eating plankton and listening to Barry Manilow. Natural Histories comedy with David Schneider.

Do you need an excuse to miss an awkward family reunion? Look no further than Boutique Bubos, a bespoke bijou disease service run by an industrious flea. Natural Histories comedy with David Schneider.

An Australian cockroach struggles to arrange a family reunion for 4500 relatives. At least she's got the catering sorted... Natural Histories comedy with Harriet Carmichael.

A scarab beetle writes a letter to her son and reveals a dark secret about his father... He was a dung beetle. Natural Histories comedy with Kathy Clugston.

Look out! There's a strict oak tree headmistress channelling Joyce Grenfell: "Robinson you will NOT be going on to do great things if you can’t leave your peduncle alone!" Natural Histories comedy with Harriet Carmichael.

A Hornbill struggles to come to terms with fatherhood: "This sounds horrible, but they're so ugly!" Natural Histories Comedy with David Schneider.

Andrew Parker explains why Antoni van Leeuwenhoek is his Natural History Hero.

George Beccaloni explains why Alfred Russel Wallace his is Natural History Hero.

Erica McAllister explains why George Verrall is her Natural History Hero.

Beulah Garner explains why entomologist Evelyn Cheesman is her Natural History Hero.

Sea anemones can live forever. Unfortunately this one isn't too happy about it, so she's booked an appointment with her doctor: "No, I don’t want to look younger. Older. Please." Natural Histories comedy with Harriet Carmichael.

Paul Barrett explains why Franz Baron Nopsca von Felso-Szilvas is his Natural History hero

Botanist Sandy Knapp explains why Alice Eastwood is her Natural History Hero.

Robert Prys Jones explains why Allan Octavian Hume is his Natural History Hero.

Palaeontologist Tori Kerridge explains why Dorothea Bate is her Natural History Hero.

"Welcome comrades to this specially convened meeting of the Amalgamated Union of Nile Crocodiles." The crocodiles have all accepted they will be sacrificed for the God Sobek at some point, but are debating whether or not to call a strike over one unexpected issue... Natural Histories comedy with David Schneider.

Richard Sabin explains why comparative anatomist Edward Tyson is his Natural History Hero

Mark Spencer explains why Sir Hans Sloane is his Natural History Hero.

"I love the way humans think all we do is copy them. So sweet." Never trust a South American parrot with jealousy issues... Natural Histories comedy with Harriet Carmichael.

Inspector Bramble of the Yard's on the case, he's prickly and he doesn't let go. Unfortunately, the new sergeant doesn't share his passion for forensics. Natural Histories comedy with Shaun Keaveny.

"I suppose you want to know why I turned. Why I came back to Mother Russia. Many of us old bears did, you know." David Schneider plays a bear with Communist sympathies in this Natural Histories comedy.

"You're right, I am absolutely not what you were expecting. I am, in fact, a cuckoo." Well, this is a bit awkward. An unexpected visitor meets his new mum for the first time... This Natural Histories comedy is performed by Harriet Carmichael.

“Fluttering and dancing, ladies…” Take your places for the Wordsworth daffodil tribute act on the banks of Ullswater. This Natural Histories comedy is performed by Harriet Carmichael.

The head of Abruzzi’s Viper family is getting long in the tooth and wants to appoint a successor. But he has some business to attend to first. This Natural Histories Comedy is performed by David Schneider.

It’s not easy being iconic, especially when you’re on a diet. Just don’t talk to this mammoth about ice (too many bad memories). This Natural Histories Comedy is performed by Harriet Carmichael.

Bad news if you live in Kidderminster and own a greenhouse; an accident prone meteorite is fast approaching... This Natural Histories Comedy is performed by Harriet Carmichael.

She may be smaller than all of her cousins, but she's still terrifying (sort of). This Natural Histories comedy features a dwarf dinosaur.

Coral of Coral Reef Developments is having some difficulties with one of her tenants. He's started eating his neighbours. This Natural Histories Comedy is performed by Harriet Carmichael.

Danny is a mandrake root at an AA meeting. His partying days may be over, but he sure does miss them. You would too if you could make people think they were flying. This Natural Histories Comedy is performed by Shaun Keaveny.

Often referred to as a lawyer fish and a slimy bottom-feeder, it’s a good job this burbot has a strong constitution (probably because of his giant liver). This Natural Histories Comedy is performed by David Schneider.

This King of the Jungle's been in security for centuries. Just don't ask the 'mane man' how he copes with pigeons, unicorns and French tourists. A Natural Histories Comedy featuring Shaun Keaveny.

Meet Archie Teuthis the Giant Squid who doesn't understand why people are scared of him. Is it the tentacles, the cannibalism or the big bulging eye? A Natural Histories Comedy featuring Shaun Keaveny.

Unfurl your yoga mats and brace your chakras as the Butterfly tells us all about herself. It is a terrible burden being beautiful, though, you know? A Natural Histories Comedy featuring Harriet Carmichael.

The Nineties. Blur, Damien Hirst, the Groucho… and the world’s most famous shark... It was ART, man. A Natural Histories Comedy featuring David Schneider.

Mr A. Mandrill’s had enough. He’s trying to bring a legal case against the human race. A Natural Histories Comedy featuring David Schneider.