What happens when you mix Carrie Bradshaw with Dr. Phil? You get me, Shallon Lester, an author, editor, NYC It Girl and YouTube dating coach with almost 1 billion views! On this podcast, I’ll answer YOUR burning questions about love, lust, life and lip gloss—and everything between. Are you ready to join the #Shallontourage and take over the world? Time to get on top, ladies... ♥️Got a love quandary? Submit a question at www.shallonlester.com ♥️Instagram & Twitter @ShallonXO ♥️YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester
Evil Week Preview: Why Kindness Is For Losers
Work hard? Stay humble? How about…no. I’ll get you pumped for Evil Week with a sinister pep talk AGAINST kindness and hard work why you should flip to the dark side. Join me for the rest of Evil Week starting Oct 25, link below!
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10/12/2022 • 48 minutes, 52 seconds
How To Stand Up For Yourself
If you’ve done some changing, growing, or even just WANT to, you may encounter pushback from people who need you to stay predictable and small. I’ll tell you how to stand firm in your beliefs and be true to yourself without destroying all your relationships!
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9/28/2022 • 42 minutes, 42 seconds
How To Weed Out Fake Friends
This week's episode dives deeper into a recent YouTube video about friends who tell you want you want to hear…even when it’s not in your best interest. I’ll help you smoke out who’s doing this for the wrong reasons, and give some tips on how to trust yourself over anyone!
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8/31/2022 • 46 minutes, 49 seconds
When You Know Better But You Can’t DO Better
There’s nothing worse than perfectly understanding why a guy is bad for you… But missing him anyway. I’ll tell you why it’s ok that you can’t snap your fingers and be over it, and give you a psychological trick to ACTUALLY get over it!
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8/24/2022 • 35 minutes, 36 seconds
Summer Reinvention: How To Start Fresh
It’s the perfect time to clean out our emotional closets and rebrand…but how? I’ll tell you how to leave things behind and cut out situations and people who are no longer serving you.
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8/10/2022 • 43 minutes, 22 seconds
Summer Reinvention: How To Stop Trying To Save Everyone
This week we're going to get inspiration from an unlikely place: Top Gun: Maverick. Yes, the movie. I'll tell you how one character sparked an ah-ha moment about what to do when a guy needs saving!
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8/3/2022 • 42 minutes, 7 seconds
Summer Reinvention: How To Stop Oversharing
Do you find yourself blabbing way too much and kicking yourself after? Well I sure do. I’ll break down why we overshare, what need it’s kicking up inside, and 3 easy steps to holding your boundaries and honoring yourself!
💜GET DAILY TEXTS 💜 https://hdly.me/shallon
💜COME TO ITALY 💜 https://bit.ly/3ymoHOK
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💜ASK ME A QUESTION 💜 https://shallonlester.com
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7/27/2022 • 30 minutes, 54 seconds
Embracing Ruthlessness: How To Get Comfy With Confrontation
Setting boundaries and ditching toxic people feels AMAZING right?! No. Not so much. I’ll give you tips to navigate the anxiety, shame and sadness of standing up for yourself, confronting a toxic person, or cutting someone off!
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6/29/2022 • 38 minutes, 48 seconds
In Defense Of Ghosting: The Real Reason Guys & Friends Ghost
Confession: I ghost friends. If you’re being blanked by a bestie (or a guy), I’ll give a counter point to what may be going through their head and how to prevent it from happening!
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6/22/2022 • 50 minutes, 30 seconds
Grad Week (Sorta): When You Can’t Be Happy For Your Friends
This week I’ll tell you how I learned to stop seething over my friends love or accomplishments and how to feel confident in my own lane and life!
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6/15/2022 • 38 minutes, 11 seconds
Grad Week: Why It’s Ok To NOT Be Ok
Stressed because you don’t have it all figured out yet? Trying to manifest your dreams but nothings really happening? I’ll break down the right way to attract your perfect life, And give you a pep talk if you don’t even know where to begin!
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6/8/2022 • 46 minutes, 15 seconds
Grad Week: How To Deal With Life After College
Graduating from college is terrifying and exhausting, but i’ll give you some tips on adjusting to corporate life, dealing with male-dominated industries, and post grad burn out. And head over to my YouTube channel for videos on how to find your passion and trust your dreams!
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6/1/2022 • 40 minutes, 51 seconds
How To Make Feedback Suck A Little Less
If you’re a recent graduate—or just a person existing in the world—chances are people give you lots of “feedback” whether you ask for it or not. I’ll tell you how to process it with more neutrality and less defensiveness!
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5/25/2022 • 41 minutes, 5 seconds
How Long Should You Wait To Have Sex With A Guy?
Is a relationship doomed if you sleep together on the first date? What’s the ideal timeline to shagging for the first time? I’ll explain a man’s mentality on a girl who puts out and how to up your chances of keeping him interested!
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5/18/2022 • 50 minutes, 38 seconds
Booty Call To Boyfriend: How To Change The Dynamic
This week we hear from a Shalligator hoping to flip the script on a longtime hookup buddy. I’ll tell you EXACTLY what to say to change how he sees you and the trajectory of your situation!
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5/11/2022 • 35 minutes, 18 seconds
One And Done: How To Get Comfortable Being Alone
After a week traveling solo around Paris, I’ll share with you my tips on slaying the dragon of loneliness and an easy plan to conquer your fear brain and live your best life—no +1 required!
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5/4/2022 • 52 minutes, 37 seconds
Friendship Breakups Part 2: When A Toxic Friend Won’t Go Away
Cutting off a friend isn’t easy…but what if they refuse to get the hint? What if they turn toxic and try to ruin your other friendships? I’ll give you the script on how to deal with an ex-bestie who just won’t get gone!
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4/13/2022 • 33 minutes, 2 seconds
Friendship Breakups & Makeups: How To Reconnect…And When Not To
Looking to get back in touch with a bestie? Well, maybe there’s a reason you unplugged in the first place. Using tips from our book club selection, “Essentialism,” I hope you decide which friendships are worth salvaging and tell you exactly how to do it!
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3/30/2022 • 50 minutes, 54 seconds
Hot Pursuit: How To Get A Guy To Chase You Again
Did your boyfriend’s efforts drop off once he “got” you? I’ll tell you how to re-ignite his need to hunt you down WITHOUT having to grovel, beg or play games. Just kidding, you’ll play a lot of games—but you’ll win, honey.
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3/23/2022 • 34 minutes, 26 seconds
The Cons (And More Cons) of Workplace Romances
Love being poor? And overworked and overlooked? Amazing! Then definitely start or continue that on-the-job flirtation! I’m breaking down office flings and why The Office’s Pam and Jim are anything but #CoupleGoals!
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3/16/2022 • 35 minutes, 39 seconds
College Daze: The ONE Word I’d Tell My Younger Self
A question from a sorority-saturated Shalligator and my own trip to my college town reminded me that I wasn’t always a warm blooded alpha female—quite the opposite. This episode, I’ll give advice to my younger self, and tell you the ONE WORD I wish I’d had as my mantra!
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💜SAVE A HOMELESS DOG💜
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3/9/2022 • 48 minutes, 5 seconds
The Friendship Closet Clean-Out: Making New Friends Post-Covid
As the world gets back to pre-pandemic normal, I’ll tell you how to over ride fear, take bold new chances and friend smarter, not harder!
💜ASK SHALLON A QUESTION 💜 https://shallonlester.com
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3/2/2022 • 39 minutes, 31 seconds
Frenemy Fixation: Unpacking A Female Hurtlocker
We know Hurt Lockers as those guys we just cannot get over…but what if your obsession is a friend? If you’re gnawing on a frenemy who treated you poorly, I’ll tell you why borrowing a drop of their dark magic is the key to moving on!
💜SAVE A HOMELESS DOG 💜
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2/23/2022 • 42 minutes, 18 seconds
Are You Gucci or Garage Sale? High Self Esteem & Low Self Worth, Part 2
Last episode we unpacked the bizarre and exhausting feeling of having high self esteem but low self worth. This week, I'll tell you how to dig yourself out of this rut and demand your worth from the world!
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2/9/2022 • 38 minutes, 58 seconds
Are You Gucci or Garage Sale? High Self Esteem & Low Self Worth, Part 1
Do you feel burnt out dating? Exhausted by men? Bitter and resentful? There’s a reason: you have high self esteem but low self worth. This week I’ll break down this confusing concept and how to fix it!
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2/2/2022 • 36 minutes, 57 seconds
The Horror Of Catching Feelings: How Not To Blow It
Summer is in full swing… and burnout might be too. I’ll tell you how burnout can trick you into thinking you’re falling for someone, and help set boundaries not only to keep burnout at bay, but why they’re crucial to keeping a guy interested!
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7/28/2021 • 44 minutes, 21 seconds
The Do’s & Don’ts of a Successful Summer Fling
Who doesn’t want to have a hot girl summer? But there’s a right way and a wrong way to have a summer fling. I’ll break down the definition of a successful summer romance, and exactly the kind of guys to avoid if you’re not looking to get your heart broken!
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7/14/2021 • 38 minutes, 32 seconds
No More Disrespect: 4 Magic Words That Make A Guy Change
Tired of talking yourself to death about your feelings and boundaries when a guy is disrespectful? I will give you four (science backed!) magic words to communicate your point without sounding desperate, naggy or needy—and put the ball back in his court!
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7/7/2021 • 39 minutes, 7 seconds
Lean Back Part 2: The Benefits of Burnout
Last week we talked about when to stop leaning in and take a pause to lean back, and this week we’ll outline 4 steps to cope with burnout and use it as a set up to being your most authentic self!
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6/30/2021 • 43 minutes, 11 seconds
Screw Your Lean In: The Necessary Art of Leaning Back
There’s a time to lean in…but there’s a time to step away. If you’re feeling anxious about reentering society, burnt out on socialization, exhausted by relationship, or just need a little bit of a pause for yourself, I will tell you how to disengage and embrace a self-serving season!
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6/23/2021 • 39 minutes, 8 seconds
Hot Girl Summer: Small Boobs and Big Bucks
We all want to have a hot girl summer but…what exactly does that mean? For me, it means not needing approval or rescuing from any guy or even society. I’ll break down how to deal with body shamers and why gettin’ yo bag is the key to happiness!
💜JOIN ME FOR EVIL WEK💜
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6/9/2021 • 41 minutes, 20 seconds
Friends In Low Places: When Everyone You Know Is Coupled Up
Putting yourself out there is crucial to making friends…but what do you do when your coupled up galpals aren’t reciprocating the effort? This week we’ll help a Shalligator who is the odd (single!) girl out in a sea of loved up ladies.
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6/2/2021 • 35 minutes, 22 seconds
How To Get The Guy: Turning A Booty Call Into A Boyfriend
This week on YouTube I explained why silence is your main weapon if you want an ex back, but here we’ll delve a little deeper into the strategy behind it. Plus, we’ll follow up to my tale about a booty call that became a wife, and what precisely she said to him to get out of the sex zone and into an engagement ring!
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5/26/2021 • 41 minutes, 20 seconds
The One Who Got Away: How To Let Go Of Past Regret
This week we talk to a Shalligator who wants to rekindle things with a guy she rejected (twice!) and another who wants her husband to morph back into the man she married, and not the mega douche he's become. I'll help you let go of regret and knock some sense into guys who are letting you slip away!
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5/19/2021 • 40 minutes, 47 seconds
Spring Cleaning: Why Alpha Females Don’t Chase Guys
With summer around the corner, it’s easy to have spring fever about boys and dating. But before you start swiping, texting or hooking up, I’ll give you a pep talk on why we NEVER CHASE. Plus, I’ll help a Shalligator who isn’t sure if she’s worked through her issues enough to get out in the dating game.
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5/12/2021 • 40 minutes, 56 seconds
Tinder 101: Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore
Dating apps are a great way to meet guys…and an excellent way to completely waste your time with f*ckboys! I’ll tell you red flags to look for in a boy’s profile, plus help one Shalligator who isn’t sure if her new Bumble boy is all in or all trouble!
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5/5/2021 • 48 minutes, 18 seconds
Defeating Your Inner Neurotic & Coping With Change You Don’t Want
Change sucks. Change is the worst when it’s change you didn’t particularly ask for...but isn’t MOST change out of your control? I’ll give you five tips on becoming more resilient instead of bitter and erotic, and talk to one shower gator whose ex just dropped a bomb about the change in his own life!
Go to HelloFresh.com/shallon12 and use code shallon12 for 12 free meals, including free shipping!
💜ASK ME A QUESTION 💜 https://shallonlester.com
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4/28/2021 • 51 minutes, 16 seconds
Finding Friends For Your Boyfriend...And Yourself
Do you find yourself attracting guys who don’t really have a social life of their own? Or are your “friends” flaky, frazzled and forgettable? I’ll give you tips on getting a life for him AND yourself!
Head on over to www.formulate.co/podcast complete the brief hair questionnaire and use my code “SHALLON” at checkout. Order today and you will get a second order FREE.
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4/21/2021 • 40 minutes, 9 seconds
How To Be Happy Even When Things Go Wrong
We should all be visualizing what we want out of our future but what do you do when imagination goes bad? If you struggle with romanticizing things at the expense of reality, I’ll give you the two keys to happiness and help you pump the breaks on a runaway emotional train!
Go to Curology.com/shallon for a free 30-day trial, just pay for shipping and handling!
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4/14/2021 • 33 minutes, 20 seconds
Spring Cleaning: Beta Males & Business Blahs
This week, we’ll break down the psychology of beta males who neg amazing women, plus share some lessons from our Shalliterature book club selection, “Essentialism,” and help you walk away from “perfect” opportunities that don’t feel so perfect after all.
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4/7/2021 • 54 minutes, 28 seconds
Spring Cleaning: Revamping Your Friendships
As we emerge out of the pandemic, we have the unique opportunity to remake things into a new normal, from our job situation to our friendship. I’ll tell you how to rejigger dynamics that are/aren’t working, plus talk to a Shalligator who worries that she may have followed “Why Men Love Bitches” a little TOO closely!
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3/31/2021 • 43 minutes, 41 seconds
Spring Cleaning: How To Clear Away Bitterness
We can’t control what happens to us in life, and it doesn’t seem like we can control our subsequent bitterness either – but we can. This week I’ll talk to Shalligators dealing with unfair situations at work, and also in the realm of sexual trauma, and share some practical, easy tips to help them let go of bitterness
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3/24/2021 • 54 minutes, 38 seconds
Spring Cleaning: 3 Tips To Fighting Fair
This week will continue our spring cleaning series on tossing out thoughts and behaviors that belong in the trash heap. Will help a Shalligator in a toxic fight-loop with her boyfriend of four months. Are his criticisms valid? Or are they squabbling about surface level topics and not core issues? I’ll break it down and give you three ways to fight fair!
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3/18/2021 • 36 minutes, 44 seconds
Spring Cleaning: Axing Awful Friends
As life (sorta) starts to return to normal and the weather shifts, it’s time to take stock of who we’re keeping in our lives—and why. This week, I’ll talk to two Shalligators who don’t know whether to keep or toss old friends who’ve turned into frenemies.
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3/10/2021 • 38 minutes, 42 seconds
How To Stop Feeling Desperate & Clingy
Are you oh so independent and confident…until you catch feelings? I’ll help a Shalligator who finds herself morphing into a clingy girlfriend and isn’t sure how to stop it. But is there such a thing as TOO independent? I’ll break down how to stop feeling desperate in a relationship and uncover what the fear voice is telling you!
Go to FlexFits.com/GIRLONTOP and use code GIRLONTOP for 20% off Flex Disc Starter Kits—or 10% off your first Flex Cup—PLUS free U.S. shipping!
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3/3/2021 • 29 minutes, 44 seconds
Polite Ways To Say No & How To Deal With The Ick
This week on the YouTube channel we’ve been talking about how to say no and set up boundaries, but sometimes bellowing NO causes more stress than just doing the thing...or, doing the person. If you’re struggling with this concept, I’ll give you some practical real world examples of how to turn someone down, and why The Ick is a terrible byproduct of a boundary-less life!
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2/24/2021 • 35 minutes, 47 seconds
How To Snap Someone Out Of Their Victim Narrative
This week, we’ll hear from an exasperated Shalligator Who is stuck on vacation with a complainer. When dealing with an emotional and social terrorist, do you fight fire with fire? Do you ignore them and walk away? I’ll tell you the best way to deal with a victim mentality that protects your peace—not politeness.
Best Friends with Nicole Byer & Sasheer Zamata comes out every Wednesday, on Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Go to Curology.com/SHALLION for a free 30-day trial, just pay for shipping and handling!
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2/17/2021 • 33 minutes, 23 seconds
Banking & Boobs: A Pre-Shallentine’s Day Special
This week, I’ll help a Shalligator sort out whether or not it’s wise to have a joint bank account with a man who doesn’t respect your cash flow. And, since Shallentine’s Day is coming up, I’ll give you some pro tips on picking great (cheap!) lingerie and what guys really think when you wear it!
Go to FlexFits.com/girlontop and use code girlontop for 20% off Flex Disc Starter Kits—or 10% off your first Flex Cup—PLUS free U.S. shipping
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2/10/2021 • 31 minutes, 55 seconds
Birthdays, Bad Sex and Boundaries
This week we tackle two seemingly unrelated issues—ruined birthdays and STDs—and explore why a lack of boundaries can lead us right into both!
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2/3/2021 • 38 minutes, 24 seconds
To Let A Ghoster Go…Or Not?
If a friend vanishes out of your life, do they deserve to get let back in? I’ll help a Shalligator who is wondering if a long lost pal wants another chance or if it’s time to let things go. ALSO! Listen to XO Radio every Wednesday on the Stationhead app (free!) where I play my fave tunes and break down their lessons. AND! Subscribe to my intimate new blog, Eat Prey Love.
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1/27/2021 • 17 minutes, 2 seconds
He’s Just Not That Into You: How To Read Between The Lines
This week, a Shalligator is at her wits end with guys who seem to break up with her because they “can’t give you what you need.” But the gag is, she doesn’t really need that much! Is this just a line guys are handing her, or is she portraying herself has way more high maintenance than she is? I’ll decode it all!
💜ASK SHALLON A QUESTION 💜 https://shallonlester.com
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1/20/2021 • 34 minutes, 16 seconds
Octopus vs. Unicorn: How To Pick A Career When You’re Interested In Everything
When you are a bad ass chick, as we are here in the Shallontourage, it can be hard to focus on just one career or even just a manageable handful of hobbies. I’ll help one Shalligator sort through her maze of interests and explain why recklessly spending energy will leave you bankrupt!
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1/13/2021 • 33 minutes, 41 seconds
New Year, New You? How To Start Over
To kick of 2021, I'll help you embrace the past (yes, even 2020) and tackle a question by a Shalligator who thinks she's starting absolutely from scratch after a tough and trying year. I'll give her some tough love but also 3 actionable, science-backed steps to improving her self-esteem, getting back to her authentic self, and leaving the misery behind!
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1/6/2021 • 38 minutes, 7 seconds
Intentions & Instagrams
It’s our last podcast of 2020 and it’s time to set intentions for the new year. I’ll tell you my easy, 3-tiered approach to goal setting and manifestation. Plus, we’ll tackle the topic of guys who slide into your DMs, and how to craft the perfect Instagram!
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12/16/2020 • 48 minutes, 26 seconds
Moving On When You Can't Actually Move
Whether you're in a small town, small college or small office, getting over someone you have to see all the time is an exercise in agony. I'll give you some practical tips on moving forward, and we'll talk to a Shalligator who's in a quandary about how to find a good therapist!
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12/9/2020 • 37 minutes, 45 seconds
Merry Money Mayhem: How To Reset Your Financial Attitude
‘Tis the season to…go into debt making buying presents, right? NOPE. Not this year. We’re going to look at the silver linings of 2020, reset our attitude toward money, dial down expectations, and come out of the holidays feeling rich in every possible way!
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12/2/2020 • 33 minutes, 18 seconds
A Tale of Porn and Payments
Is cheating actually cheating if it’s with a sex worker? And can sending a guy nudes prevent him from straying? I’ll explore this sexually tense situation, plus help another Shalligator sort out who exactly should pay for the date, and when to start pitching in!
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11/25/2020 • 39 minutes, 21 seconds
How To Become An Alpha Female
This week we’re focusing on just one topic: turning yourself into an alpha female. Specifically, I’m breaking down the three major shifts I made in my life to go from cold blooded to independent, bulletproof, and ultimately, very happy and satisfied no matter what my circumstances. This weeks motto: “No thank you.”
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11/11/2020 • 30 minutes, 7 seconds
EVIL WEEK BONUS: How To Gather Intel On Your Enemies
Halloween may be over, but we're keeping the sinful fun going with an Evil Week bonus, where I break down easy tricks to gather information on your enemies and haters so you can craft the most effective strategy against them. Plus, I'll tell you some sanity-saving tips on surviving election season with this week's motto: Do Not Disturb.
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11/4/2020 • 31 minutes, 12 seconds
EVIL WEEK BONUS: How (and Why) to Embrace Wickedness
EVIL WEEK BONUS: How (and Why) to Embrace Wickedness
Evil Week is in full swing but it can be hard to fully step into the shoes of sin, right? I'll give you a perditious little pep talk on how evil and intuition walk hand in hand. Plus: we'll sorting out what exactly makes for great sex (and how to get it!) and ranting about...Emily Ratajkowski?
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10/28/2020 • 45 minutes, 17 seconds
Evil Week Preview: The Art Of Revenge
Evil Week begins on October 25 on YouTube and Infstream, and the Shallontourage deserves a little...appetizer, don’t you think? This week I’m talking all about revenge — how to get it, who to tell, what it looks like, and the two different strategies for annihilating your enemies.
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10/21/2020 • 33 minutes, 41 seconds
Moving On & Moving Up
This week our mantra is: stay true to yourself. Sometimes it’s necessary to look at the reality of the situation, a person, or even a town and say… You know what? This just isn’t good enough for me anymore. Plus, I’ll tell you how to cultivate what I call celebrity energy to insulate you from beta males who neg you on dating apps and IRL!
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10/14/2020 • 35 minutes, 37 seconds
There’s Freedom In Restraint: How To Be Your Own Savior
This week we’re talking to a Shalligator who feel stuck in her current college circumstance, plus another trapped by a friend who just won’t listen to her advice, and another who ponders the age old question: if we sleep with a guy in the first date, is it the kiss of death? I’ll break it all down!
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10/7/2020 • 42 minutes, 23 seconds
Love Bombing Boys & Draining Disaster Friends
This week, we’re learning how to see the reality of the situation — not what we hope it is, or what fear tells us it is. One Shalligator is getting ghosted by a guy with unclear intentions, while another is debating whether or not to cut off a toxic friend. I’ll sort it all out and give you a soothing new mantra!
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10/2/2020 • 38 minutes, 20 seconds
Heroin Highs & Nerdy Needs
We’ve all been there with the guy who felt like drugs—every text and every hook up gave us that dopamine insanity. One Shalligator offers her tip on how to clip the cravings, then another ask a crucial question: when we are finally finished with fuck boys, where can you find a hot quality nerd? I’ll tell you a fun and easy way to magnetize quality characters into your life and how to avoid potential pitfalls!
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9/24/2020 • 37 minutes, 31 seconds
Fear of Success...And Fear Of A Booty Call
This week we’re talking to a Shalligator dealing with a perfect-on-paper-life… But a whole bunch of moody malaise. And another chickadee is trying to turn the tide and get out of the booty call category. Is it possible? We’ll break it all down!
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9/4/2020 • 44 minutes, 40 seconds
How To Tell If A Guy Is Using You
Is there magic in moderation? Is the middle path the key to happiness? This week I’ll help identify the warning signs that a guy is using you as his own emotional getaway car, and how to get things back on track. Plus, will break down what it really means when a guy is sarcastic – is it a sign of gaslighting, or are you just being too sensitive?
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8/26/2020 • 32 minutes, 32 seconds
Boundaries & Bitch Lessons pt. 4
This week, we’re exploring the life changing power of: I am not afraid to leave. Plus, I’ll break down the classic f*ckboy trajectory and why ICE COLD is the only way to get a guy back!
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8/19/2020 • 37 minutes, 58 seconds
Boundaries & Bitch Lessons pt. 3
This week, our mantra is: “Do what works for ME.” We’re talking to three chicks struggling to put themselves first and are instead listening to their panic-based “Snooki brain” about everything from blow jobs to broke boys.
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8/12/2020 • 25 minutes, 38 seconds
Boundaries & Bitch Lessons pt. 2
This week, we continue to read from our Shalliterature book club selection, “Why Men Love Bitches” and get tips on how to handle ghosting, how to turn the tables on a guy trying to make you jealous, and why being humble is a very bad idea. Pick up the book at the link below and head to the Shalligator reddit thread to chat about what you’re learning!
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8/5/2020 • 35 minutes, 36 seconds
Boundaries & Bitch Lessons
Last week we kicked off the Shalliterature book club selection,
“Why Men Love Bitches” and today I’m reading the first chapter, plus telling a Tinder tale that WMLB helped me navigate in a way I probably wouldn’t have. Pick up the book at the link below and head to the Shalligator reddit thread to chat about what you’re
learning!
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7/29/2020 • 33 minutes, 42 seconds
Why Men Love Bitches: A New Shalliturature Book Club Selection!
It’s time for a new book club selection and what better read than my own personal bible, “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov! We’ll also talk to two girls in “Fliratationships” who can’t untangle their emotions.
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7/23/2020 • 26 minutes, 59 seconds
Setting Boundaries: An Exercise In Agony
This week we’re helping a girl who got dumped out of nowhere figure out the best course of action. And, I’m taking you through the highs and lows of stating your standards, setting boundaries, and letting the chips fall where they may!
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7/16/2020 • 36 minutes, 17 seconds
How To Keep A Guy Chasing You & Satisfying Selfishness
This week we’re focusing on doing what’s best for US—not making things easy breezy for everyone else. I’ll help you set boundaries with guilt trippin family, toxic roommates and guys who stop pursuing you!
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7/8/2020 • 34 minutes, 58 seconds
How to Deal With Boundary Breachers
When will I stop talking about boundaries? When we all have them perfectly under control—A.k.a., never. I’ll help two girls dealing with friends who want too much, and one chickadee that can’t shake a creepy guy!
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6/25/2020 • 34 minutes, 46 seconds
How To Ditch A Psychotic Friend
This week we’re tackling just one topic: the lunatics in our lives. If you’re afraid to drop someone because of the potential fall out, I’ll give you a blueprint on exactly how to leave, and a big ol’ peptalk on why you need to!
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6/17/2020 • 38 minutes, 10 seconds
Career Quandaries & Surrogate Girlfriends
Is it normal for an FWB situation to include dates and endless texts? Is a guy one month post divorce fit to date? Is mom going to lose her mind when I tell her I’m switching careers? I’ll unravel these riddles and more!
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6/11/2020 • 25 minutes, 32 seconds
The Not-So-Subtle Art Of Letting Go
This week, I’ll help a too-flirty chick undo a sticky situation,
help another see what her boyfriend means when he says he needs to sow his wild oats, and talk about the perfect time to have sex when you’re dating someone new!
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6/5/2020 • 26 minutes, 12 seconds
Quarantine Spirals: Divorces, Dudes and Diapers
With all of us battling some form of 'Rona related existential dread, I'll talk four Shalloners off the cliffs of insanity, whether they're dealing with their parents' divorce, a fantasy flirtation, the worry that they "owe" their mom a grandchild!
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5/21/2020 • 35 minutes, 13 seconds
First Time Fiascos & Flirting Gone Wrong
This week, we’ll help two lovelorn Shalloners get over the trauma
of losing their virginity to, well, losers, and give advice to another who flirted herself into a corner with a married man...and now has an unhinged wife on her tail!
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5/14/2020 • 31 minutes, 13 seconds
The Art Of Apologizing & Females Flirting With Your Fella
This week two Shalloners find themselves needing to issue major apologies to their boyfriends, but another
is demanding an explanation for her man’s female “friend” who can’t keep her trashy hands to herself!
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5/7/2020 • 30 minutes, 10 seconds
Quarantining With Parents: Criticisms & Catholicisms
This week we’re helping Shalloners stuck in lockdown with family situations that are...less than ideal, shall we say. From a literal list of things to change for a suddenly-super religious father, I’ll tell you how to navigate sticky family situations without losing
your mind—or all the progress you’ve made on yourself!
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4/30/2020 • 32 minutes
Quarantine Stress: Family Fiascos & Moving Mayhem
Sanity is unraveling at a rapid pace, and that means parental feuds and snarky roommates. I’ll help you channel your anxiety into something productive, and help two other Shalloners who can’t fathom why guys stick with lackluster rebounds and deadbeat chicks!
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4/23/2020 • 35 minutes, 29 seconds
Quarantine Dating: Setting The Pace & Getting Back The Guy!
This week I’ll help a Shalloner wanting to knock an ex’s socks off when she sees him post-lockdown, tell another one how to set the pace for online chit-chat with a guy she just started talking to, and help another recognize a predator in her midst!
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4/15/2020 • 34 minutes, 37 seconds
Divorced Douchebags & Miniscule Men
Is a heartbroken guy serious about you or just using you as a free therapist? I’ll read the writing on the wall for a confused Shalloner, help another who can’t seem to make friends, and give tall answer to a girl dating a short boy!
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4/1/2020 • 29 minutes, 7 seconds
Coworker Crucifixions and A Vanishing Boyfriend
This episode, we’ll boss up a babe who needs help crushing an uprising, sort out a soul-crushing ghosting, and talk to a guy who’s boytoy isn’t ready to come out of the closet!
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3/26/2020 • 28 minutes, 50 seconds
Post-Grad Problems & Skittles vs Salads
This episode, I’ll start by sharing my quarantine mantra to stave off coronavirus, then deal with two young ladies struggling to find their career path, and help another caught in a friends-with-benefits spiral differentiate between eating skittles and salads!
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3/19/2020 • 29 minutes, 36 seconds
Creatives In Chaos & A Wakeup Call For Your Booty Call
This week I’ll help a Shalloner in a tizzy over where to take her creative career, and another who isn’t exactly feeling warm and fuzzy about her new workmates. We’ll also help a doting daughter set up boundaries for her boozy mom, and give a friend with benefits
a big dose of reality—whether she likes it or not!
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3/11/2020 • 38 minutes, 26 seconds
Of Rome and Revenge
What’s worse than being stuck near your ex? Being stuck near your ex while studying abroad in Italy and he’s hooking up with your detested roommate! I’ll tell this molto triste student how to not feel so Veni, Vidi, Vicious, help another trust again after hurt, and help a seething Shalloner sort out her plans for vengeance.
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3/4/2020 • 35 minutes, 11 seconds
How To Listen To Your Intuition...And How To NOT Date Rappers
It’s easy to tell someone to listen to their gut instinct…but it’s a lot harder to hear it inside of ourselves. I’ll give you actionable clear-cut steps to picking up what your intuition is trying to put down, help another Shalloner fix her friends fractured self-esteem, and lay down the law
for one scheming to date a hip-hop star!
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2/26/2020 • 30 minutes, 51 seconds
Boundaries, Burnout and Bitchy Business
Can you burn out at 21? Oh yes, yes you can. I’ll help a frazzled Shalloner who is feeling used by everyone in her life, another who can’t seem to get her mom off her back, and a business-minded boss babe dealing with snakes in the grass!
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2/19/2020 • 29 minutes, 14 seconds
Shallontine’s Day Special: Your V-Day Horror Stories!
In this special bonus Shallontine’s Day episode, I’ll break down some truly heinous Valentine’s horror stories you shared with me, from a love-bombing loser and a dollar-store romeo, to the many, MANY dudes who have many, MANY excuses for why they didn’t get you a gift!
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2/14/2020 • 36 minutes, 18 seconds
The Trap Of “Just Friends” & Dating With Disabilities
Should you be “just friends” with a guy who isn’t ready to commit? UH NO. I’ll break down the trap of endless friendship, plus help a Shalloner dealing with a physical limitation and a follow up to a saga about a guy who won’t say “I love you!”
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2/12/2020 • 28 minutes, 41 seconds
Getting Unstuck & Catfishing On Tinder
Do you feel stuck in stagnant? I’ll tell you how to reverse-engineer your life to get out of a rut and back on track, talk to a girl dealing with an in-and-out ex fiancé, plus help a Shalloner who met a dude by… catfishing him?
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2/5/2020 • 34 minutes, 53 seconds
Weddings, Funerals, and Trauma Bonding
Life isn’t always sugar and pom-poms. This week we’re tackling some heavy topics from family obligations to family loss. Plus, I’ll help a confused Shallonee sort out the nuances of trauma bonding and you have another one a plan to get away from an abusive ex
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1/29/2020 • 26 minutes, 13 seconds
Career Quagmires & The Truth About Being An Empath
This week, I’ll help a fan narrow down her career options, explain some hot and cold behavior from a guy who won’t put out, and we are the pros and cons of coming clean about kissing your friends fella. Plus, I’ll dismantle the idea that being an empath is a good thing… Because it is not.
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1/22/2020 • 29 minutes, 34 seconds
Vacationships & Being A Beta
Did you fall for a guy on a getaway? I’ll unravel a fiasco with a “vacationship” and help a girl who realized that SHE is the beta. Plus, we’ll tackle toxic family members, and feeling like the odd chick out in a trio of friends!
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1/15/2020 • 33 minutes, 38 seconds
Oral Fixations and Moms With Dramz
This episode we’ll debate why some dudes won’t go downtown, and why others let their moms run their life. Plus, I’ll help a Shalloner who’s guy won’t drop the ILY, and why those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing...
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1/8/2020 • 33 minutes, 21 seconds
How To Play A Player
This episode we’ll explore how to get revenge on an ex, a player, and a guy who had the AUDACITY to move on after a break up! Plus, I’ll remind you why we are bait, and not fish!
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1/1/2020 • 28 minutes, 29 seconds
How To Make A Guy Like You & The Truth About One Night Stands
Can we turn a wishy-washy guy into marriage (or at least boyfriend) material? And what happens when you realize too late that you like a guy from a one-night stand? Can you turn that ho into a housewife? I'll tell you when to keep trying and when to keep it moving!
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12/20/2019 • 33 minutes, 59 seconds
How To Ho 101 & Chasing Neglect
This week I'll talk to a teen who wants to unleash her inner maneater, plus several other chickadees who recognize that they’re entangled with awful a-holes...but can’t quite let go of them for some reason! Are they chasing neglect? I’ll break it all down....
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12/11/2019 • 38 minutes
Forgiving A F**kboy, Jealous Judgement & Unraveling The Ick!
If a f**kboy grows up, should you give him another chance? I'll tell it like it is to one Shalloner pondering a
player, plus help another make friends in a jealous environment, and explain whether or not it's normal to be occiasionally icked out by the guy you're dating!
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12/5/2019 • 29 minutes, 14 seconds
Young Guy Problems & Old Friend Fiascos
'Tis the season to break up with friends who annoy you! I'll help two Shalloners untangle themselves from
friendships that no longer serve them, plus help a 28-year-old virgin decide if she should tell her 20-year-old booty call that he's her first...
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11/27/2019 • 29 minutes, 51 seconds
Desperation Dating & Birthday Blues
This week I'll help two Shalloners who can't seem to craft the relationships they want. One is constantly striking out at the bars while another is fuming over a fumbled birthday celebration. I'll share some tips on attracting the right kind of guys and why sometimes a birthday blow up is about something much, much deeper...
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11/20/2019 • 28 minutes, 37 seconds
Deceptive Dudes & Marrying Our Mothers
This week I'll help two Shalloners who are more than a little suspicious that their oh-so-perfect boyfriends are
anything but. Plus, I'll help a 20-year-old hottie shut down backhanded compliments from her older friends, break down the effects of growing up with a single parents and explain why "restful" is your new mantra!
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11/13/2019 • 32 minutes, 52 seconds
Penis Problems & Mama Drama
Is "vanilla sex" a dealbreaker? We'll decode what a guy means when he dogs his own sexual performance,
and what YOU mean when suddenly you can't stand a boy you used to have the hots for! Plus, we'll untangle family boundaries and shut down some office awfulness.
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11/6/2019 • 28 minutes, 27 seconds
Supposedly Shy Guys & Dudes Who Don't Plan Dates
Is there anything more annoying than a guy who "can't" plan a date? No, and I'll give you a script to nip it in the bud. Plus, I'll break down a booty call brouhaha and help a girl raise her standard, and dispel the self-defeating myth of the shy guy!
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10/30/2019 • 28 minutes, 38 seconds
Good Guy F*ckboys & Pity Parties
This episode, two girls are dealing with depressive dudes...but when does love turn into enabling? I’ll straighten ‘em out like a piece of wire, plus break down the warning signs that a “nice guy” is actually a good guy f*ckboy in disguise!
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10/23/2019 • 32 minutes, 1 second
Anti-Romantics and Virgin Vixens
This episode, we will tackle a tricky question from a girl who doesn’t want her sexual boundaries to destroy her social life, explore why romantic gestures creep us out, and help a girl who is not only dateless but friendless too!
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10/17/2019 • 30 minutes, 7 seconds
Cheat Codes & Flaky Friends
This week, I’ll give you scripts for shutting down friends who are flaky, catty or self destructive, plus semi-sorta-cheating boyfriends! Plus, I’ll shine a light on why we really want to confront a fuckboy...and when we shouldn’t!. . . 💜GOT A QUESTION ? 💜 Head on over to shallonlester.com for help! . 💜ENJOYING IT? 💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 4 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO
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10/8/2019 • 30 minutes, 14 seconds
Pausing Pesky Patterns & The Truth About Love Triangles
This week, we’ll explore the toxic patterns that hold you back, how self-worth and shame hinder your ability to make friends, what to do when a booty call gets clingy, and the #1 thing you need to remember about a love triangle! . 💜GOT A QUESTION ? 💜 Head to shallonlester.com . .. . 💜ENJOYING IT? 💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 4 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO
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9/25/2019 • 31 minutes, 19 seconds
Popularity Problems & Freezing Out Family
This episode, I’ll tell you how to cut off toxic family, why an ex should stay an ex, what small talk texting really means, and how to cope with a constant need for attention! . . 💜ENJOYING IT? 💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 4 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO .
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9/17/2019 • 31 minutes, 19 seconds
Booty Calls What We Permit
Being “friends with benefits” sounds great...until he’s the only one benefitting. I’ll break down the psychology behind booty calls, and how to avoid falling into one if you actually want more. Plus, I’ll help someone with three mangled marriage is under her belt, and tell you exactly how to play hard to get! . . 💜ENJOYING IT? 💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 4 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO
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9/12/2019 • 33 minutes, 16 seconds
Taming a Toxic Boss
In this episode, I’ll tell you what to do about a toxic work environment, ease your mind if losing your virginity wasn’t exactly magic moment, muse a little on motherhood, and tell you some habits we need to be borrowing from boys on Tinder!
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8/28/2019 • 34 minutes, 39 seconds
Anxiety Answers & Besties Behaving Badly
This week I’ll tell you how to fix anxiety without medication, tackle friends who are in trouble… and ones who are MAKING trouble, whether or not a guy is just “being nice,” and what to do when a first date conversation goes flat! .
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8/21/2019 • 36 minutes, 14 seconds
Peace With A Painful Pasts & Getting Back At A Ghoster
This week, I’ll tell you how to make peace with your past, calling out a ghoster, whether first date sex ruins everything, and how to know if you’re making healthy choices! .
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8/14/2019 • 31 minutes
How To Spot A Keeper
By now we know how to spot a douchebag… But what about a quality guy? I’ll tell you how to identify a keeper, explain why your f**kboy ex settled down, delve a little deeper into “too busy” guys, and of course, talk a little bit about porn and saving hoes. Maybe a lot? .
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8/9/2019 • 33 minutes, 38 seconds
Why Guys Ghost & How To Raise The Bar
Picture this: you have an amazing date and then he ghosts for a few days...or forever. I’ll tell you what’s actually happening behind the scenes, plus dealing with parental pressure and why we need to get REAL when we say we “can’t” dump a douchebag! . 💜ENJOYING IT? 💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 3 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO --- This episode is sponsored by · Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff Podcast: Each week designer Rebecca Minkoff speaks with inspiring women from all walks of life about their success and failures while also sharing lessons and tips they’ve learned along the way. https://open.spotify.com/show/3KCdjRAjeiGGJMgAvgRgEu?si=v16KtfV5RuCsWn7-4XyJtw
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7/31/2019 • 34 minutes, 28 seconds
Bad Texters & Love Lessons From Hitler
Is “I’m a bad texter” code for “ just not into you?” I’ll break down disastrous digital behavior, explain how to move on after cheating, tell you the pros and cons of an open relationship, dismantle the anxiety behind being single, and explain why Adolf Hitler can be seriously helpful when a not-always-toxic relationship! .
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7/24/2019 • 32 minutes, 16 seconds
The Gift Of Shame & Changing A Cheater
Can you change a cheater? Or train an unchivalrous manchild? I’ll tell you when to walk away, plus how to deal with a guy friend who’s caught feelings AND, one of the most self destructive things we can tell ourselves!. .
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7/15/2019 • 34 minutes, 25 seconds
The Curious Case of the “Cool Girl” Myth
Is trying to be the “cool girl” actually ruining your love life? I’ll explain what cool ACTUALLY looks like, and why anxiety is a symptom of an unheard intuition! Plus, a friend who keeps picking fights and what to do with an unmotivated man!. .
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7/10/2019 • 33 minutes, 19 seconds
Happily Never After? When Life Is “Good On Paper,” with @KateTheWasp!
Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl. Girl’s problems magically evaporate...right? This week I sit down with @KateTheWasp, my real-life friend behind the hilariously satirical “basic entitled white girl” account to Find out what life is really like on the other side of happily ever after. Plus we talk about our own abysmal body images, and what we would tell our younger selves. And check out Kate’s podcast, Good On Paper, for my guest spot too! . . 💜ENJOYING IT? 💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 3 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO --- This episode is sponsored by · Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff Podcast: Each week designer Rebecca Minkoff speaks with inspiring women from all walks of life about their success and failures while also sharing lessons and tips they’ve learned along the way. https://open.spotify.com/show/3KCdjRAjeiGGJMgAvgRgEu?si=v16KtfV5RuCsWn7-4XyJtw
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7/3/2019 • 39 minutes, 31 seconds
Astrological Angst & Money Matters
Is astrology BS or are certain signs totally incompatible? I’ll spell it all out, and weigh the pros and cons of short guys, and dish on why you shouldn’t be jealous of his exes, but SHOULD beware of his female friends!. .
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6/19/2019 • 31 minutes, 58 seconds
Flirtation Fixation & Hurtlocker Heartache
Should you tell your boyfriend when other guys hit on you? I’ll break down a dude’s motivation for wanting to know, plus give you a script for embarrassing moments, unpack why guys lurk your social, and help you identify the “Hurtlocker” in your life! . . 💜ENJOYING IT? 💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 3 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO --- This episode is sponsored by · Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff Podcast: Each week designer Rebecca Minkoff speaks with inspiring women from all walks of life about their success and failures while also sharing lessons and tips they’ve learned along the way. https://open.spotify.com/show/3KCdjRAjeiGGJMgAvgRgEu?si=v16KtfV5RuCsWn7-4XyJtw
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6/13/2019 • 30 minutes, 11 seconds
Broke Boys & Attitude Adjustments
Is is unrealistic to expect guys to take you on dates? I’ll break it down, and reveal the one CRUCIAL attitude you must have when dating...and the absolute worst mentality of all!.
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Is it a compliment when a guy doesn’t want to use a condom? I’ll break down what he’s ACTUALLY doing, and help two Shalloners dealing with a toxic frenemy and hair-trigger roommate who only get worse after confrontation! . 💜ENJOYING IT? 💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 3 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO
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5/29/2019 • 28 minutes, 11 seconds
Birth Control Quandaries & Confrontation Conundrums
How much say should your boyfriend have in the type of birth control you use? I’ll break it down, and sort out why an ex comes begging for forgiveness only to ghost again, plus what you should do if a guy‘s girlfriend tries to get up in your face! . 💜ENJOY?💜 please rate and review this podcast! . 💜BINGE💜 3 new videos a week https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester . 💜FOLLOW💜 Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO --- This episode is sponsored by · Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff Podcast: Each week designer Rebecca Minkoff speaks with inspiring women from all walks of life about their success and failures while also sharing lessons and tips they’ve learned along the way. https://open.spotify.com/show/3KCdjRAjeiGGJMgAvgRgEu?si=v16KtfV5RuCsWn7-4XyJtw
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5/22/2019 • 29 minutes, 47 seconds
WELCOME TO GIRL ON TOP
Are you ready to join the Shallontourage?
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5/15/2019 • 1 minute, 22 seconds
Tinder Terrors, Exes On Insta & Lurking Losers
Is there any reason your boyfriend should still have tinder on his phone? I’ll break it down, plus examine why a guy is all up in your social networks… But can’t seem to follow through on a date. And, what to do about an ex who is taking Insta-pettiness to a new level. --- This episode is sponsored by · Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff Podcast: Each week designer Rebecca Minkoff speaks with inspiring women from all walks of life about their success and failures while also sharing lessons and tips they’ve learned along the way. https://open.spotify.com/show/3KCdjRAjeiGGJMgAvgRgEu?si=v16KtfV5RuCsWn7-4XyJtw
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5/15/2019 • 29 minutes, 30 seconds
Classmate/Coworker Crushes & Busted Booty Calls
Dating someone from your school or office? I’ll tell you how to differentiate courtship from what I call “unintentional logistical contact.” Plus, when you should block an ex on social media, what to do when your FWB suddenly ghosts, and why your vacation fling evaporates as soon as his tan wears off! . ♥️Follow me on Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO and subscribe on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester --- This episode is sponsored by · Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff Podcast: Each week designer Rebecca Minkoff speaks with inspiring women from all walks of life about their success and failures while also sharing lessons and tips they’ve learned along the way. https://open.spotify.com/show/3KCdjRAjeiGGJMgAvgRgEu?si=v16KtfV5RuCsWn7-4XyJtw
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5/15/2019 • 31 minutes, 27 seconds
Stripper Tips & Family Feuds
A Shalloner is pondering becoming a stripper while another is selling her skivvies for cash. Plus, why a guy is hesitant to let you meet the family, what happens when a FWB douchebag has a moment of self-awareness, and one of the trickiest questions I’ve ever been asked! --- This episode is sponsored by · Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff Podcast: Each week designer Rebecca Minkoff speaks with inspiring women from all walks of life about their success and failures while also sharing lessons and tips they’ve learned along the way. https://open.spotify.com/show/3KCdjRAjeiGGJMgAvgRgEu?si=v16KtfV5RuCsWn7-4XyJtw
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5/15/2019 • 27 minutes, 50 seconds
Exes & Ohs
Is there a way to get your ex back without groveling? I’ll tell you the best way to reignite a former flame, plus how to deal with a guy with drug issues, how to get your stuff back from someone who dumped you, what to do when the fireworks in a romance fizzles out, while were crush is hot and cold, and a date night strategy for a guy who (seems) out of your league! . . ♥️Follow me on Insta/Twitter @ShallonXO and subscribe on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/shallonlester ♥️ --- This episode is sponsored by · Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff Podcast: Each week designer Rebecca Minkoff speaks with inspiring women from all walks of life about their success and failures while also sharing lessons and tips they’ve learned along the way. https://open.spotify.com/show/3KCdjRAjeiGGJMgAvgRgEu?si=v16KtfV5RuCsWn7-4XyJtw
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