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Teenagers Untangled - Parenting Teenagers in an audio hug. Cover

Teenagers Untangled - Parenting Teenagers in an audio hug.

English, Children-Kids, 4 seasons, 77 episodes, 1 day, 22 hours, 19 minutes
About
An audio hug for parents going through the teenage years, made by two mums. Rachel is a former BBC Correspondent and parenting coach, Susie is a Mindfulness Coach and qualified psychotherapist. When our kids are little there are lots of ways in which we can meet up with other parents to share, and laugh about our problems. Once they head off to senior school those regular points of contact with other parents fall away, and the problems can be more difficult. That’s why we started this podcast, to chat about what it takes to raise a teen, and hopefully have a bit of light relief along the way. For more discussion and tips, you can find us on Facebook and Instagram. Find courses with Susie at Find courses with Susie at amindful-life.co.uk/ 
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75: Why are girls posting bikini pics and what should we say about them?

They're everywhere. Tabloid news feeds and social media are awash with photos of girls and women in bikinis, and why not? Women's bodies are beautiful and through antiquity the female form has been admired. Yet many parents are deeply uncomfortable with the type of photos being posted, the age of the girls when they do it, and what it all means about them. When Sharon asked us to talk about what's going on, and how she can help her daughter think more about her own values, and what she is posting, we knew it was a great topic for us. EMOTIONAL EATING HELP:https://www.helpguide.org/ARTICLES/diets/emotional-eating.htmRESEARCH:https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/bikini-selfiehttps://her.ie/life/instagram-rule-created-teenagers-beyond-frightening-327076https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-66877718 Support the showThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
2/7/202432 minutes, 48 seconds
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74: Does my teen need to lose weight? How to navigate diet culture with Elyse Resch

Diets, and an obsession with weight, are so much a part of Western culture that it's hardly surprising our teens can struggle to understand how to eat well.When I researched the topic for episode 9, I discovered that many experts are using mindful - or intuitive - eating to treat patients who develop disordered eating patterns. Indeed, the Intuitive Eating Workbook, which is now in its fourth edition, is recommended on the website of the UK's premier eating disorder charity Beat.  I reached out to Elyse Resch who is co-author of that book, because she has a long list of academic and industry accreditations, and  decades of experience in dealing with eating issues. Even better, she's created The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens to help our kids at one of this vulnerable stage.   I’m delighted that she agreed to help us unpick how we are talking with our teens about this tricky subject. CONTACT ELYSE RESCH: elyseresch@gmail.comhttps://elyseresch.com/EResch/  THE TEN PRINCIPLES OF INTUITIVE EATING:https://www.intuitiveeating.org/10-principles-of-intuitive-eating/• Reject the Diet Mentality. Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you the false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently• Honour Your Hunger. Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat• Make Peace with Food. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing. • Challenge the Food Police. Scream a loud no to thoughts in your head that declare you’re “good” for eating minimal calories or “bad” because you ate a piece of chocolate cake.• Discover the Satisfaction Factor. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. • Feel Your Fullness. Pause in the middle of eating and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what your current hunger level is. • Cope with Your Emotions. Food won’t fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you. But food won’t solve the problem. • Respect Your Body. Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally futile (and uncomfortable) to have a similar expectation about body size. • Exercise—Feel the Difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie-burning effect of exercise.• Honour Your Health with Gentle Nutrition. Remember that you don’t have to eat perfectly to be healthy.Previous episode: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-9-how-to-help-your-teens-manage-their-screen-time-and-talking-to-them-about-healthy-eating-without-giving-them-an-eating-disorder/Support the showThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
1/31/202435 minutes, 44 seconds
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73: Regrets? Things we parents would do differently

My teen daughter has told me that the fact I am open about my own failings, and quick to apologise, makes it much easier to trust me and to feel safe admitting when she's gone wrong. It's so easy to look back and see our mistakes, or where we might have done things better, but it’s hard to admit to them and forgive ourselves. The truth is, it's incredibly difficult to get it right in the moment. As we discuss in this episode, when it comes to the sliding doors versions of life we can never really know whether a different path would have turned out better. All we can do is to try our best with what we have right now. We've made this episode to help you feel less alone and hopefully some good tips too. Support the showThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
1/24/202433 minutes, 14 seconds
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72: The absent or inconsistent parent who’s alcoholic. Also, supporting your teen back to school.

When the other parent is inconsistent, or never turns up for your kid, it can be incredibly challenging for both of you. It's hard enough as it is, but can be even more challenging when they are abusing a substance, such as alcohol or drugs. When a listener told us about the difficulty she has parenting a teen son whose absent dad is an alcoholic we thought it was an important subject, and one worthy of discussion. So how do we support a tween or teen in this position? What do we say to them? How do we help them with the feelings they might be having? The National Association for Children of Alcoholics suggests using this mantra:I didn’t cause itI can’t cure itI can’t control itI can care for myself by communicating my feelings, making healthy choices, and by celebrating myself.https://allthingssimplywindy.com/how-to-deal-with-an-absent-dad/https://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/newjersey-child-parenting-issues/help-children-handle-unreliable-parent/https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/helping-a-child-cope-with-an-absent-parent/https://fathers.com/blog/consistency/what-consistency-looks-like-in-a-dad-5-keys/https://elisabettafranzoso.com/articles/types-of-damaging-fathers-how-they-influence-who-we-arehttps://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-talk-to-children-about-absentee-fathers-2997224https://www.wikihow.com/Help-a-Child-Cope-with-a-No%E2%80%90Show-Parenthttps://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/When-Daddy-Dont-Love-Their-Daughters-What-Happens-to-Women-Whose-Fathers-Werent-There-for-Themhttps://www.joincake.com/blog/death-of-a-father-I-never-knew/https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/my-sons-father-is-inconsistent.4623629/https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/alcohol-abuse/explaining-alcoholism-child/https://www.parentingforbrain.com/parental-rejection/https://www.riversidecounsellingservice.co.uk/2020/06/09/absent-father-identity-issues/Support the showThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
1/17/202433 minutes, 2 seconds
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71: Back to school, third places, manners and our favourite podcasts, shows, books and apps.

We're back with the first fresh episode of 2024. What a good time to talk about some of the things we've been reading, listening to, and watching, along with some news stories. Let us know what you think. We're always interested in any feedback; positive or negative, and we'd love to hear from you if you have any great recommendations. teenagersuntangled@gmail.comPodcasts recommended: Mel RobbinsUnpublished Good Bad BillionaireEverything Is FineSearch Engine: Why can't we just turn the empty offices into apartments?TV:Hunger GamesNetflix - Watch World War II: From the FrontlinesBook:Do Hard Things: A teenage rebellion against low expectations by Alex and Brett Harris.Calendar app:TimeTreeSchool:PISA scores: https://www.oecd.org/publication/pisa-2022-results/country-notesEmotionally based school avoidance: https://www.leedsbeckett.ac.uk/student-anxiety-guideThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
1/10/202441 minutes, 20 seconds
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70: New year's resolutions. Love them or loathe them the question is how can we make them work for us?

We've all done it; new year, new me. By January the 11th the lustre has rubbed off our shiny resolutions and we're back to our old habits. The reality is that making resolutions and getting them to stick is harder than we'd like it to be. So how do we make changes in our parenting and our family in a way that will continue to work after the fireworks and fun?In this podcast:We talk about uncovering the intention behind the resolution. How to unpack those big problems to find a smaller goal to guide you.How to use small habits in your day to make those big changes more easy.And how using positivity can keep us going.Some ideas:Ask your teen what key change they would like to see and don't react badly to the answerFind one on one time with each childDon't text and driveCreate a tech contractCreate a chores contractYell lessListen moreSort out sleep routinesEnd your work dayFind space for youDon't judge out loudLet your teen cook once a weekDon't judge people out loudLet your teen make their mistakes so they learn from themDemonstrate the behaviour you want to seePractice gratitudeBuild a parent tribe of others who're in a similar situationMake time for your partnerGet outside moreSit down to family meals more oftenFind games or activities you can all enjoy togetherResources:Small Move Big Change by Caroline Arnold.https://beenke.com/parenting/parenting-resolutions-you-can-actually-keep/https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/980167/new-years-resolutions-for-parents-of-teens/https://www.rootsofaction.com/resolutions-that-can-change-your-teens-life/https://hms.harvard.edu/news/uncontrollable-anger-prevalent-among-youthThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
1/1/202431 minutes, 45 seconds
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69: Gifts and presents: Do you feel a teenager in your life is ungrateful and transactional? Why are they like that, and how can we best show our love?

Christmas is marketed as a time of magic and joy, but when it comes to your teenagers does it feel more like a time of pressure to deliver expensive gifts - and disappointment? One of our regular listeners has asked us to research and discuss  how to better deal with a teenager's lack of gratitude when things don't live up to their expectations, and our feeling that they don't appreciate what's been done for them.RESOURCES:https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdfhttps://www.parentingforbrain.com/how-to-deal-with-an-ungrateful-teenager/https://yourteenmag.com/family-life/communication/holiday-disappointment/amphttps://admin.bridesblush.com/trends/ungrateful-christmas-tb/https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/being-mum-794/tweens-teens-61/1596349-ungrateful-teen-tween.htmlhttps://slate.com/human-interest/2012/12/ungrateful-teens-on-christmas-it-s-time-to-stop-the-generational-internet-shaming.htmlhttps://mamamanages.com/ungrateful-child-problem-solving/https://www.blinkist.com/en/shortcasts/the-happiness-lab/309https://www.blinkist.com/en/app/books/leading-with-gratitude-enThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
12/27/202331 minutes, 38 seconds
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68: Christmas and the holiday season. A time of family festivities or fights?

We all have traditional times when our extended families come together to celebrate, give thanks, and share the warmth of mutual love. In the UK, December is a non-stop reel of songs about 'Simply having a wonderful Christmas time', and Instagram is awash with pictures of happy celebrations. Being with our family can give us a welcome chance to relax and be accepted for who we are but - let's be honest -  it can also bring out the worst in us. The break in routine - where everyone is forced together - can be a difficult adjustment. The expense can be crippling. Travelling to see family can be stressful, and then the raised expectations can set up the entire event for failure.We've all been there, so here are our tips on how to make the most of those gatherings when you have teenagers in the house.https://www.family-action.org.uk/our-voices/2021/11/12/connecting-with-teenagers-at-christmas/https://www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-from-bacp/2021/16-december-coping-with-family-pressures-and-expectations-in-the-run-up-to-christmas/https://www.bristol.ac.uk/news/2021/december/avoiding-stressful-christmas.htmlhttps://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/a29321/how-to-deal-with-family-fallout-at-christmas/https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/best-advice-family-christmas/605760Thanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
12/20/202323 minutes, 26 seconds
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67: Parenting teenagers two years on: Online, education, anxiety, consequences, and the pressures of parenting. What we've learned from the podcast.

It's our two year anniversary, and what a ride it's been! Since we're taking a break to spend time with our families, we thought it would be the perfect time to reflect on what we think are the best things we've learned over the years, and signpost which episodes you might want to listen to again. Key episodes discussed:The blog https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/two-years-on-and-some-of-the-episodes-that-have-impacted-me-most/Talking techniques:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-3-techniques-for-talking-with-your-teenager-and-teenagers-having-sex-in-your-home/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-teenagers-37-our-overreactions-make-us-feel-awful-and-dont-even-achieve-anything-positive-so-what-can-we-do-to-stop-them-from-happening/Consequences:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-32-consequences-and-the-teen-who-doesnt-seem-to-care/Blog on consequences: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/whats-going-on-when-our-boundaries-and-consequences-dont-seem-to-work/Online:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-9-how-to-help-your-teens-manage-their-screen-time-and-talking-to-them-about-healthy-eating-without-giving-them-an-eating-disorder/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-4-protecting-your-tweenteen-from-doing-something-illegal-with-their-phone-camera-aka-sexting-also-how-and-why-you-might-give-your-teen-an-allowance/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-13-why-talking-to-your-teen-about-pornography-is-more-important-now-than-its-ever-been-and-great-ways-to-spend-time-with-your-teen/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-33-boys-online-we-urgently-need-to-talk-about-red-pills-role-models-and-the-manosphere/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/66-online-grooming-how-to-keep-our-teens-and-tweens-safe-how-to-spot-if-your-child-has-fallen-pre/Secondary school and anxiety:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-34-bunking-wagging-hooky-skiving-or-school-refusal-whatever-you-call-it-too-many-teens-are-doing-it-but-why/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-5-how-do-you-motivate-a-teenager-who-isnt-very-academic-what-to-do-when-your-teenager-says-they-want-to-give-up-their-musical-instrument-or-other-activity/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-14-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-and-how-to-set-rules-that-your-teens-will-follow/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/anxiety-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-according-to-renee-mill-senior-clinical-pscychologist/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/38-talking-to-teachers-about-your-teen-how-best-to-do-it-and-why-it-still-matters/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-12-what-to-do-about-bullying-and-dealing-with-teenage-backchat/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-10-helping-your-teen-navigate-friendship-groups-particularly-girls-and-how-to-get-your-teen-to-keep-going-instead-of-giving-up-at-the-first-hurdle/Pressures of parenting:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-teenagers-36-stressed-out-and-overwhelmed-as-a-parent-we-have-some-techniques-that-might-just-help/Thanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
12/13/202339 minutes, 36 seconds
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66: Online grooming, how to keep our teens and tweens safe, how to spot if your child has fallen prey, and what to do next.

The full effects of lockdown are only now becoming apparent, according to the Internet Watch Foundation, a UK organisation which tracks down videos and imagery of child sexual abuse online and works to have it removed. Our listener, Frances, has asked us to tackle this difficult subject because she's seeing clients who've fallen prey to groomers and thinks there needs to be more widespread understanding of the role we parents can play in protecting our kids.The pandemic saw a big shift in society, with many more kids going online to learn, socialise, and play – something which internet predators have been exploiting.In the UK alone in 2022, 199,360 of the child sexual abuse materials the Internet Watch Foundation dealt with contained images and videos made via online connection as opposed to by an abuser being physically present in the room with the victim.In this episode we talk about the techniques they use, how to keep our kids safe without overreacting, and what to do if we discover our own child has been a victim.IWF ADVICE:TALK to your child about online sexual abuse. Start the conversation – and listen to their concerns.AGREE ground rules about the way you use technology as a family.LEARN about the platforms and apps your child loves. Take an interest in their online life.KNOW how to use tools, apps and settings that can help to keep your child safe online.A CAUTIONARY TALE:The story of Breck, who was lured to his death by a groomer https://www.breckfoundation.org/GET HELP:Helplines around the world: https://childhelplineinternational.org/helplines/UK:Child Exploitation and Online Protection Command:https://www.ceop.police.uk/ceop-reporting/NSPCC: Helpline  0808 800 5000 or emailing help@NSPCC.org.uk Report Abuse in Education on 0800 136 663Internet Watch Foundation:https://report.iwf.org.uk/en/reportChildline - a free support service for kids 0800 1111USA:https://www.stopitnow.org/help-guidance/get-help-nowRESEARCH RESOURCES:https://www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/news-opinion/2023/2023-08-14-82-rise-in-online-grooming-crimes-against-children-in-the-last-5-years/#https://legaljobs.io/blog/online-predators-statistics/Thanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
12/6/202333 minutes, 59 seconds
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65: Eating disorders: An interview with Beat representative Umairah Malik. What we parents need to know, including warning signs, where to go for help, and practical things we can do or say that might make a difference.

One in eight UK teenagers now suffers from an eating disorder, according to the latest figures from the UK's National Health Service. That's a shocking fifteen-fold increase since before Covid. These disorders are  notoriously sneaky; parents I've spoken to say they creep up on us and it can take a long time to realise what's going on. It's even worse if we focus in on seventeen to nineteen year olds where one in twenty boys  and one in five girls has an eating disorder. In this episode Rachel talks Umairah Malek, the Clinical Coordinator at the UK charity, Beat. She explains what an eating disorder is, what to look out for, and gives some great tips for how to support your loved one through to recovery.  Resources:The UK's Eating Disorder Charity - Beat (beateatingdisorders.org.uk)www.hopevirgo.comWww.feast-ed.orgFacebook:Eating Disorder Family SupportBooks:www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/downloads-resources/helpful-books/Hadley Freeman, Good Girls: A story and study of anorexia. Netflix:Everything Now - After months in recovery for an eating disorder, 16-year-old Mia devises a bucket list of quintessential teen experiences to make up for lost time.Previous episodes:9: Screens and teens. Here’s how to help them, and yourself, manage your time. Also can we talk about healthy eating without giving our teens an eating disorder? (teenagersuntangled.com)Thanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
11/29/202332 minutes, 19 seconds
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64: Supportive parenting styles that enable teens to grow into capable adults.

We all want the best for our kids, but there's a tricky balancing act between giving them the freedom to make the mistakes that build resiliency, and stepping in to protect and guide them.There's been a modern shift towards close management of our kids, and a constant eye on academic grades. But it's worth considering how to ensure our desire to support them doesn't end up having unintended consequences; stripping them of their ambition, self advocacy, and desire to tackle things in life that are hard.It's also worth considering how we parents will feel when that all-encompassing role begins to fade and they need to live life independent of us. This episode takes a look at some of the modern styles of parenting, including the benefits and the problems in terms of turning out rounded adults. We also look at steps we can take to increase agency in our older teens in a way that will ease them into adulthood.If you're committed enough to listen to the very end you'll also hear our blooper.RESOURCES USED:https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-is-helicopter-parenting/https://www.verywellfamily.com/helicopter-parents-do-they-help-or-hurt-kids-1095041https://www.mongooseresearch.com/blog/bulldozer-parents#:~:text=What's%20a%20bulldozer%20parent%3F,their%20child%20may%20come%20across.https://parentology.com/what-is-bulldozer-parenting/https://www.businessinsider.com/helicopter-how-bulldozer-parents-harm-their-children-2023-6?r=US&IR=TThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
11/22/202333 minutes, 56 seconds
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63: How to: Talk to teens about pornography, an interview with Dr Mandy Sanchez of Culture Reframed.

Has your kid seen porn? Research says 1 in 3 kids have seen explicit, hardcore porn by the age of 12, many by accident.Whether or not your tween or teen has seen it the fact that hardcore porn is widely available, free, and easily accessed from any device with an internet connection will be having an impact on the whole culture they are growing up in.We want our teens to feel that it's normal and natural to be interested in sex, and want to explore what's out there, but talking about it the modern issues can be a minefield. Whilst we're openly trying to teach our kids about consent, and educate our boys to be respectful of women, what they might be accessing online is the opposite. Much of it is degrading, and objectifying, and normalises potentially dangerous and harmful sexual behaviour.A lot of parents I have spoken with don't know how to have those conversations, so I contacted Dr Mandy Sanchez, from Culture Reframed, an organisation that provides free education resources and worksheets for parents. In this episode she talks about how, and when, to talk about porn with your kid.www.culturereframed.orgwww.teenagersuntangled.comThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
11/15/202334 minutes, 18 seconds
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62: Charging rent: should you charge your teens and young adults rent and, if you do, what's the best way to go about it?

In an era where house prices have gone up, wages have stagnated, and young people are staying in the family home for longer, how do we manage the transition to adulthood whilst our young are still living at home? One of the big debates for parents is whether teens and young adults should pay rent. So when one of our listeners asked us to talk about it, we thought it would be a great topic for our club.It’s definitely one to think about well beforehand, because your attitude to it will become an important subliminal message to your teen.For some, seeing your child move out, or start to pay rent is a critical stage in growing up. For others, the idea of charging your teenager - or any member of your family - rent is an absolute no-go. In fact the age at which our kids leave home varies wildly in different cultures; even within the same continent. Across Europe the average age of leaving home is 26, but in Sweden and Denmark it's closer to 21  and in Croatia and Malta it's nearly 32. We discuss the concept of being a teenager, how different cultures think about the topic, and the pros and cons of charging rent. RESOURCES:https://www.100yearlife.com/ Living and working in the age of longevity.https://www.lboro.ac.uk/media/media/research/crsp/downloads/2019-family-sharing--a-mminimum-income-standard-for-people-in-their-20s.pdfhttps://www.verywellfamily.com/should-you-charge-your-teen-rent-4106963https://cafemom.com/parenting/we-make-our-teenager-pay-renthttps://www.professorshouse.com/charging-a-teenager-rent/https://www.newsweek.com/teen-asking-stepdad-pay-rent-house-reddit-1735656https://empeople.com/learn/empeople-insights/6-real-money-lessons-for-teenshttps://sc.lawforkids.org/speakup/view_question.cfm?id=134&page=3https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/charge-children-rent-debate-tiktok-b2342234.htmlhttps://www.afr.com/life-and-luxury/health-and-wellness/why-you-should-make-your-adult-kids-pay-rent-to-live-in-your-house-20221219-p5c7hahttps://www.easternstandardtimes.com/episode/rent-is-too-damn-high-for-young-people-across-asiahttps://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220622-the-young-singaporeans-striking-out-on-their-ownhttps://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220124-why-teens-arent-what-they-used-to-beThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
11/8/202335 minutes, 25 seconds
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61: Exercise: are teens doing enough, and what can we do to encourage them?

Nobody would argue against the benefits of exercise, but there are lots of school kids who dread physical education lessons, and dodge exercise whenever it's raised. When Nicola contacted us asking for advice on how to get her 12 year old daughter to do more exercise we thought it was a perfect topic for us to discuss. It turns out that lack of exercise in teens is a worldwide problem, most pronounced in South Korea, and that teen girls significantly trail boys in doing the recommended amounts of exercise in almost every country around the world. ‘Globally, during adolescence, ‘girls’ worlds shrink, while boys’ expand’. One study finds that the map of 14-yo girls’ day-to-day movements is 2/5 the size of that of their 11-yo selves, and only 1/3 the size of 14-yo male peers’ movements. In Texas, teenage girls do 65% less physical activity than boys. Girls drop out of sport clubs in adolescence at far higher rates than boys. This sets a trend for life.’ Dr Rachel Hewitt author of In Her NatureWe talk about what it feels like to come from a family that doesn't exercise, some of the big barriers to it such as lack of facilities, space, shame, and public perception of who should be exercising. Hopefully this will help us, as parents, to focus on ways in which we can support our teens to get more active. It will definitely benefit them and, if we lead by example, the benefit will be for the entire family.  BOOKS:Bounce: Matthew Syed TIPS:https://www.parkrun.org.uk/www.boostfit.comParenting teenagers and media literacy. (0:02)News consumption, physical activity levels in teens. (3:33)Children's fitness and the importance of basic strength. (11:18)UK school policies and gender equality in sports. (16:04)Motivating kids to exercise and the impact of parental influence. (20:36)Promoting physical activity and exercise for families. (24:31)Promoting physical activity for teenagers. (28:49)RESOURCES:https://www.who.int/news/item/22-11-2019-new-who-led-study-says-majority-of-adolescents-worldwide-are-not-sufficiently-physically-active-putting-their-current-and-future-health-at-risk#:~:text=The%20study%2C%20published%20in%20The,85%25%20of%20girls%20and%2078%25https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/teens-and-exercise#:~:text=They%20are%20more%20likely%20to,t%20need%20to%20be%20boring.Thanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
11/1/202336 minutes, 48 seconds
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60: How to talk to teenagers about gender; particularly when we don’t really understand what’s changed. An interview with expert psychotherapist Stella O'Malley

The words non-binary, queer, trans, are regularly used in social media and the news nowadays. Many teens are far more educated on their significance than us parents; in fact many of us would be completely unprepared over how to support a child that announces they're trans. In some countries, and communities, anything that veers from heterosexual is still punished. In many first world countries there has been a large shift towards acceptance and understanding of people who don't fit into societal norms. School environments are being adapted to provide accommodations. For some, this seems like an obvious progression, and rooted in kindness and care. For others this can feel very challenging, even offensive if it impinges on other rights. Even if our own children aren't affected, they are living in a world were things have changed dramatically from when we were teenagers, so I decided we'd all benefit from listening to someone with extensive experience, and refreshing perspectives on gender. Stella O'Malley's a psychotherapist, writer, public speaker and parent, with many years’ experience working as a mental health professional. She's also the founder of Genspect, an international alliance of professionals, trans people, de-transitioners, parent groups and others who seek high-quality care for gender-related distress.Her podcast is called Gender: A Wider Lens, and her co-authored book is called When Kids Say They're Trans. You can find out more about her at our website www.teenagersuntangled.comThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.ukThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
10/25/202329 minutes, 34 seconds
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59: Triggers and emotional spirals, also mobile phone bans and do schools know what to teach kids anymore?

In most episodes Rachel uses her journalistic background to trawl through studies and find out what a range of experts think about a topic. Susie brings her wealth of knowledge and experience of mindfulness and parenting to the microphone. Together, the two of us talk about the reality of parenting.We're going to continue with that, but thought it might be nice to broaden the format to talk about current affairs topics, and how they affect us and our listeners. In this episode we chat about the latest in teen slang; which can be hilarious. We also discuss the banning of mobile phones in schools, why it's happening, why it hasn't happened before, and what the benefits and issues are that surround it. Also, we talk about exams. With the shift towards AI, is our education system really offering our teens what they need to equip themselves for being an adult? Are the subjects we study, and the way in which they are studied, still fit for purpose? Given that we can't get rid of AI, should we be incorporating it into the school curriculum?We don't promise answers, but we're very keen to think about it, because these issues directly affect our teens.We really enjoyed making this episode. What do you think? Shall we do it more regularly, or do prefer the research episodes? Would you like to hear more interviews? We're here for you (and to learn for our own sakes.)CHAPTERS:2:01 Teen lingo 7:10 Reviews9:07 The things that trigger us are an opportunity to know ourselves better.12:32 Getting stuck in an emotional spiral.15:57 Mobile phone ban in schoolsThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
10/18/202336 minutes, 10 seconds
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Teenagers Untangled: Who we are and how you can use the podcast.

Thanks for listening. Creating this podcast has been transformative for our family lives; we hope it does the same for yours. Please follow us if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk
6/7/20231 minute, 2 seconds