The master of midfield mayhem Rampaging Roy Slaven and the leading light of long shots HG Nelson cast a collective eye over the world of sport.
Best of: The Toilet of Hope
Roy and HG are moved by the story of a struggling rugby league player living out of his car before he’s offered unique accommodation..
12/17/2023 • 21 minutes, 51 seconds
Best of: Commonwealth Games
Who wants to billet an athlete? Roy and HG propose a future model for the unloved Games.
12/17/2023 • 22 minutes, 11 seconds
Best Of: The Cult of Eleven
In 2022 the number 11 was ubiquitous. It dominated The Bludge all year. Hear how the Cult of Eleven began.
12/17/2023 • 19 minutes, 49 seconds
Best of: Growing Pot on the SCG
Why allow sports fields to lie idle during Covid? Weekend agriculturalists Roy and HG have the solution.
12/17/2023 • 19 minutes, 55 seconds
Best of: China buying the AFL
At the height of our trade war with China, amateur diplomats Roy and HG proposed expanding the AFL into China to soothe tensions.
12/17/2023 • 21 minutes, 25 seconds
Best of: Horses in Schools
“A kid with a betting account could make a fortune by the time they’re 11”. Roy and HG believe it’s never to young to train the next generation of punters.
12/17/2023 • 20 minutes, 31 seconds
Best of: The Winx Car
Roy and HG believe to bring car manufacturing back to Australia it needs to lean into our legends. Bring on ‘The Winx’; Sydney to Goulburn in 20 minutes.
12/17/2023 • 19 minutes, 24 seconds
Best of: The Church of Satan v AFL
HG’s viewing habits lead to a suggestion for a unique broadcast model.
12/17/2023 • 21 minutes, 40 seconds
Best of: Baptism in Pools
Home churches and backyard baptisms – a new tax write off for Rugby League players?
12/17/2023 • 19 minutes
Best of: Central Coast Sickos
When a NSW surf club bans nudity in their change rooms, Roy and HG propose ‘changing behind the towel’ lessons in schools.
12/17/2023 • 19 minutes, 10 seconds
Best of: The Mornington 5 party
How did five jockeys destroy an Air BnB during a Covid lockdown party? Roy and HG discuss the possibilities.
12/17/2023 • 21 minutes, 7 seconds
Best of: GPS chips in balls
Not often that Isaac Newton comes into the conversation. But here we are.
12/17/2023 • 21 minutes, 57 seconds
Best of: Collapse of League in the Bush
Never short of ideas to prop up rugba league, Roy and HG outline their four point plan to save the game in the bush.
12/17/2023 • 20 minutes, 22 seconds
Best of: Penalty Pullers
“People love a terrific hit.” New rules designed to improve rugby league didn’t pass the pub test on The Bludge.
12/17/2023 • 19 minutes, 21 seconds
Trump - The Manly Fan
Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson cast a collective eye over the world of sport.
10/28/2023 • 32 minutes, 57 seconds
Happy Together
Sporting fans around the world and across different sporting genres have butchered songs like "Sweet Caroline" for donkeys. Roy and HG ponded the songs Rugby League should take to Vegas. "Happy Together" by the Turtles, came up as a big favourite.. so far. We've got one chance to get this Vegas thing right people, what song do you think?
10/21/2023 • 33 minutes, 28 seconds
Examination of Stoolage
Australian sport is in a bit of a funk at the moment. The Chocolate Wallabies and the men's cricket team are basket cases in their respective World Cups. This gave an opportunity for Roy & HG to swing their focus to other sports, like the sport of gambling. The Everest was on! Nothing like celebrating a defeat while your wallet gets emptied.
10/14/2023 • 31 minutes, 42 seconds
Picking a winning dog
Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson cast a collective eye over the world of sport.
10/7/2023 • 35 minutes, 6 seconds
2023 Festival of the Boot
The BIG dance weekend is here! For both codes. Roy and HG lose their minds discussing all the stories in the lead up to the whistle. Vegas is still on their radar, Adam Reynolds - Captain/Coach of the year at the Dally M's, the refs - can they be trusted and KISS, the band, not some toilet incident. This is the weekend we've all been waiting for. Enjoy, right thinking Australians!
9/30/2023 • 26 minutes, 27 seconds
Burn Sticks
The Old Gold fruit and nut Wallabies are a basket case! They couldn't win a free spin on the pokies. What are they gunna do? Roy & HG have decided to burn a stick for them and have asked you all to burn sticks as well, but only under controlled stick burning regulations. Go somewhere it won't get out of control.
9/23/2023 • 33 minutes, 38 seconds
Lowes meet Lowe's in Vegas
Everybody knows Lowes fashion warehouse here in Australia. It's great! Great clothing. Well apparently there's a Lowe's in America. It's business is in home improvements, hammers, nails, racks, spanners, etc. The start of the Rugby league season next year in Vegas, represents a fantastic opportunity for commercial partnerships, Lowes meet Lowe's.
9/16/2023 • 32 minutes, 32 seconds
Pig Shooting Round
It was suggested from Greg this week of a "Pig Shooting Round". Roy and HG thought, to help out the Government by combining this with Tanya Plibersek's problem with feral cats. Bring in your pig snouts to prove how many pigs you shot and maybe help out with the cats? It could also be useful for the Americans to get involved in Vegas. OK, over to you, Rugby League!
9/9/2023 • 38 minutes, 13 seconds
STOP THE MADNESS!
There's enough madness in Rugby League, let alone Sport. THE MADNESS HAS TO STOP! Everything from smoking dope in the stands at Flushing Meadows, amateur athletes retiring because of cost of living pressures to the mould and disrepair happening at Shark park. Mitch Marsh and the Aussie T20 team made the madness stop, STATE OF MADNESS - SITUATION NORMAL!
9/2/2023 • 35 minutes, 29 seconds
Rugba League Bong
The NRL's policy on recreational drug use is about to be thrust into the spotlight. Something that bong heads don't like. There's been some limited research that cannabis may help prevent concussion or the after effects, but there hasn't been enough research done. Due to the war on drugs! Medicinal cannabis is neural protective! Exciting discovery for Rugby League!
8/26/2023 • 27 minutes, 42 seconds
200 Million Dollar Lucky Pig
The NSW Minister for Agriculture is on the hunt for Feral Pig Coordinator. Sound like you? Combine that with using the $200 Million dollars pledged by the Prime Minister to women's sport and we could really get the feral pig problem under control. Roy & HG discussed painting a number on each pig, shoot a pig, if you get lucky number 31, the money's yours.
8/19/2023 • 29 minutes, 28 seconds
A winner looks like me
Roy and HG have been arguing for years that kids and gambling DO mix. More children at the races, maybe schools could organise excursions? It teaches children probability and mathematics in preparation for life as an adult. It shows the kids what a winner looks like...me.
8/12/2023 • 33 minutes, 30 seconds
Swung around by the tool
New candidate for “Grub of the Year” this week. Touk Miller from the Suns. He grabbed Zorko by the flute, quite a bit of it and swung him around by the tool. Miller, while you’re grubb’in, see if you can do it with dignity, please.
8/5/2023 • 14 minutes, 53 seconds
Dolphin's Pizza?
We've discuss previously some of the weird food our sporting venues are serving up... and at a price! Do they know we have a cost of living crisis? Now fans and business are showing their fanaticism with pizza. Matthew kindly made us aware of a pizza shop selling Rugby League theme pizzas. What could be on the new franchise's pizza? Real Dolphin?
7/29/2023 • 11 minutes, 18 seconds
What price to put on a dream?
The elephant in the sporting room this week was the blowing up of the Commonwealth Games. It's a two parter. One, the money, seven billion dollars and two, dreams. What price do you put on a dream? What will our future shot putters do now?
7/22/2023 • 27 minutes, 12 seconds
Cheeseburger Spring Rolls are normal
Anthony tried to find comfort at Stadium Australia in food, when the Bulldogs were being hammered by the Knights. He thought of a bucket of chips and mid strength beer, but was surprised to find Cheeseburger Spring Rolls on offer. He enjoyed the rest of the carnage while consuming his new found food.
7/15/2023 • 29 minutes, 54 seconds
Tarzan's Grip notes
To step away from the bad cricketing stories this week, Ricky Ponting, past Australian cricket great, captain and batsman, owns his own winery, Ponting Wines. In a long line of sporting greats who also own wines, like Aussie Joe, Peter Sterling Ports and John Quayle has a nice Hunter Valley Chardonnay. Maybe Ricky can sell it to the Poms to drown their Ashes sorrows.
7/8/2023 • 30 minutes, 51 seconds
Dreams of being a basket case
Where do we start? The Dragons, basket case! Actually, below basket case. They would dream of being a basket case. Where's the Gould Report? Where is it? Does V'Landys have to step in and sort out the decay of one of Rugba League's oldest clubs? Roy & HG chew through the top tasting issues from this week's world of Football.
7/1/2023 • 29 minutes, 3 seconds
Cam Smith in Blue
After the NSW Blues' shocking series loss to Queensland. Inevitably the coach, Freddy Fittler's job has come into question. The team's not preforming, get a new coach, but who? Danny Buderus, Joey Johns, Andrew Probyn, why not Cam Smith? That's just crazy enough to work.
6/24/2023 • 29 minutes, 45 seconds
Can I knock him out?
The night of the Panthers vs Rooster's game, Jared Waerea-Hargraves ask Teddy on the field, "Can I knock him out?", referring to Penrith prop, Spencer Lenui. Teddy replied, "No, hold your cool", something Jared isn't good at, but he did. Only to be challenged by Lenui to meet him in the carpark. That's sooooo Rugby League!
6/17/2023 • 31 minutes, 25 seconds
Is Bum On back?
Rugby League players have been running up the ball and backing into the defence for ages. When did it start? Who knows, but recent ambassadors are Aaron Woods from Manly and Payne Haas from the Broncos. Is this a phase Rugby League is going through or a timeless option for all attacks.
6/10/2023 • 29 minutes, 44 seconds
Nodulisation of Australian Football
The Matildas don't have a home. Why isn't the Government putting up the money to create a Centre of Excellence for thew Matildas. Roy suggested the nodulisation of a centre of excellence, one facility in Sydney, Melbourne, Perth and so on. A place you can get a good cup of coffee, lift some weights and a pool with the logo of the team on the bottom.
6/3/2023 • 29 minutes, 17 seconds
The Church of Rugby League
Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson cast a collective eye over the world of sport.
5/27/2023 • 32 minutes, 35 seconds
MAGA and Rugby league
V'Landys and Abdo are back from a successful soiree in Las Vegas, USA. Roy & HG tossed around a bunch of acts and shows that could bolster the Aussie weekend of entertainment. The venue, the Allegiant stadium, holds 65,000 fans, but how are they gunna fill it? Donald Trump and his MAGA crowd could be the answer!
5/20/2023 • 29 minutes, 24 seconds
Best Of Bludging on the Blindside
Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson cast a collective eye over the world of sport.
5/13/2023 • 36 minutes, 1 second
Walking through Keith Barnes' trousers
Roy took a call this week from the Mayor of the Inner West Council about the conversion of the ground keeper’s cottage at Leichhardt oval into a Rugby League Museum. This was the same cottage that Wayne “Junior” Pearce grow up in. When the museum is complete, Keith Barnes’ trousers will proudly hang in the doorway for you to walk through.
5/6/2023 • 34 minutes, 50 seconds
Talkback Topic, Vegas?
The Man of Feathers and crew are looking to take Rugby League to Las Vegas, USA. They want to grow the game into the lucrative “Golden mile” U.S gambling market. Smart move from V’Landys who thinks there could be an audience there. What about Trump’s MAGA types? Half close your eyes; they look like a Rugby League crowd.
4/29/2023 • 36 minutes, 38 seconds
The Ethical Obligation
Are football code bosses imposing an “ethical obligation” on us, as the fans? They want us to stay at home, so they can pull more money out of the sponsors and broadcasters, while watching sport on TV. What about our stadiums? So where are our young entrepreneurs making use of these venues. Lift ya game Rugby League!
4/22/2023 • 34 minutes, 23 seconds
Garage full of new tyres
Why is dog racing so family friendly? All the dog needs to do is put it's head down and follow the bunny. Meanwhile Willy Mason drops the track side tips to Roy, always with a smile.
4/15/2023 • 30 minutes, 41 seconds
Easter, Passover, Ramadan and Rugby League
Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson cast a collective eye over the world of sport.
4/8/2023 • 30 minutes, 45 seconds
Sickos on the Central Coast welcome
Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson cast a collective eye over the world of sport.
4/1/2023 • 29 minutes, 46 seconds
NO Respect Round
V'Landys and crew have talked about introducing a Respect Round. Roy and HG have floated the idea of a NO Respect Round. Rugby League has been built on hatred, busted body parts and punches in the head. With rivalries like the Roosters vs the Rabbitohs, the Dragons vs the Sharks and famously in the 80's Parra vs the Bulldogs, why celebrate Respect? NO state, NO mate, just HATE!
3/25/2023 • 0
With perspex you get smearage
Roy's been hard at work giving HIA's on mice. The results are varied. Meanwhile, dog collisions at the greyhounds are a BIG problem. On the first bend, the dish lickers come over the fence, mistakenly confusing the lurer for a punter's head. Roy remembers one time, eight dogs chewing on a person's head! Now they have a perspex safe fence which attracts smearage.
3/18/2023 • 33 minutes, 29 seconds
Vomit in a bucket, Pig in the boot
American tennis star Taylor Fritz was fined $10,000 for vomiting in a bucket side of court. This raised lots of discussion and possible courtside redesigns. Such as, turning the Um's chair into a port-a-loo. On a different note, Manly are looking to heal some club wounds, Roy suggested, "A pig on the spit would do the trick", in memory of the great Bozo Fulton, Manly's chief pig shooter.
3/11/2023 • 33 minutes, 34 seconds
R.E.S.P.E.C.T
Roy and HG are back for season 2023!
People, isn't every round a respect round? You go to the Rugby League, gob off to the team you hate, their supporters gob off to you and we all respect that. Well, you gotta respect sometimes, the people you respect, you don't respect. That's respect.
3/4/2023 • 33 minutes, 9 seconds
Rabs' Premiership Ring
Ray “Rabs” Warren has long been the voice of Rugby League. After hanging up the binoculars, he’s turn to jewellery designing, designing the $10,000 NRL Premiership ring. This legend has no boundaries! What next? Host of Eye of the Storm? Find out next season…
10/1/2022 • 35 minutes, 16 seconds
Football’s Tax Free Status
At half past the 11th hour on AFL Grand Final eve, Roy & HG examine the tax free status of all sporting codes, especially AFL and NRL. Is this because sport in this country is like a religion? Or V’Landy’s and the Murderer squeezing the last ounce of juice out of sports that are dying in the bush. Royal Commission me thinks.
9/24/2022 • 33 minutes, 10 seconds
The Queen meets the King
Roy remembers the day Her Majesty met Rooting King. Roy sensed a presence; it was the Queen. The King knelt to allow the Queen to mount him, and the grace, pride and poise on the Queen’s face, will never be forgotten.
9/17/2022 • 15 minutes, 15 seconds
Old fashioned salt lick
Australian cricketer, Cameron Green suffers from cramping issues. Roy associated cramping with a lack of salt and offered some advice. Stomp and Grass use to insist on having a salt lick in the dressing rooms with the Shamrocks. Certainly, at halftime the whole team would get on their knees and have a lick.
9/10/2022 • 34 minutes, 41 seconds
ABC Sport Daily: What's going on with Tom Brady
INTRODUCING: ABC Sport Daily - Aged 45, Tom Brady's off-season has included the following: retirement, comeback, a record TV deal, revelations of flirtations with a new team, an 11 day holiday on the cusp of the season. What's going on with the NFL's GOAT? Will he rise once more? Featured: Jenna Laine, ESPN.
9/8/2022 • 12 minutes, 30 seconds
ABC Sport Daily: What the AFL mega deal means
INTRODUCING: ABC Sport Daily - 4.5 billion is a huge number and the consequences are just as big for the game, the broadcasters, other codes and most crucially - you, the fan. It might be the biggest broadcast deal in Aussie sports history, but is that best? Featured: Sport business writer, The Australian, John Stensholt.
9/7/2022 • 12 minutes, 40 seconds
ABC Sport Daily: Can the Wallabies beat NZ?
20 years on from Australia's last Bledisloe Cup, are the Wallabies ready to win another one? Sure Australia has been patchy of late, but so have the All Blacks. We dare to dream with rugby caller Sean Maloney. PLUS, an upset at the US Open, a Postecoglou pearler and the AFL settles on broadcast partners. That's on this bonus episode of ABC SPORT DAILY for all Roy and HG subscribers. Featured: Rugby commentator, Sean Maloney.
9/6/2022 • 13 minutes, 30 seconds
ABC Sport Daily: Kyrgios and Tomljanovic thrive
Nick Kyrgios knocked over the world number one. Ajla Tomljanovic has defeated the GOAT. Both are in the US Open quarters and Aussie tennis is having a moment in New York. Neither player is done yet. Could we see a double coming of age in the city that never sleeps? That's on this bonus episode of ABC SPORT DAILY for all Roy and HG subscribers. Featured: Former Australian Davis Cup Captain, Wally Masur.
9/5/2022 • 13 minutes, 45 seconds
Take us through it?
With the retirement of Serena Williams and James Tamou, there was a suggestion of a farewell World Tour with these two exceptional athletes. James could have a final spray at a ref and then sit down with Roy and he would ask, “take us through it?”.
9/3/2022 • 29 minutes, 32 seconds
Shaq - The face of Flegg
The Bunnies have pulled out of next year’s round zero clash in America. Maybe the problem isn’t the teams, Rugby League needs an ambassador, like Shaquille O’Neal. Instead of sending a first-grade teams, send a couple of Flegg teams
8/27/2022 • 32 minutes, 46 seconds
Healing balm and Glue
Great Rugby League story this week, local team the Sand Goannas won the premiership after they were lucky to field a side at the start of the year. Thanks to 17 year old captain/coach, Mannix Hunt. Mannix, the Bludge is right up behind you!
8/20/2022 • 32 minutes, 30 seconds
Echidna vs Bulldog
The donkey circuit is a point of much debate. Should it go ahead on one of the new counter-lever stadiums and what are they going to do when Paul Gallen’s not fighting? For that hour, release a echidna and bulldog from their cages, fight it out, bet, then back in the cage and back to the zoo! Solution.
8/13/2022 • 35 minutes, 50 seconds
He knows rubbish from behind
Oscar Piastri who’s managed by Australia’s Mark Webber, signed to McLaren this week. Piastri was chased by Apline, but he doesn’t want to sign to them. They’re a rubbish team! Webber would know, he’s driven behind enough rubbish in his time.
8/6/2022 • 35 minutes, 38 seconds
Light a bunga and feed the scrum
This week Kevin Proctor was immediately sacked for vaping in the loo at halftime. Is this a sackable offence? Greats like Warney loved a smoke between innings, Cliffy Lyons, Neville Costigan and Darren Lockyer sounds like he smokes. Anyways, something for V’Landys and the Fair Work Commission to investigate.
7/30/2022 • 33 minutes, 9 seconds
QLD Win! Or back in the fridge
The year the King, Wally Lewis dies, he should be put on ice and the following State of Origin have him buried, centre field at Lang Park. It’s all about the bet, the competition, either the Maroons win or King Wally goes back in the fridge!
7/23/2022 • 34 minutes, 4 seconds
Mentally Executed
The Blues in Game 3 had lost the game before they got on the field, Wednesday night. Roy described the mood, the silence in the change room, like they’d been told that they would be taken out into the middle of the ground and be hanged. Executed!
7/16/2022 • 34 minutes, 39 seconds
How to become a Touchie
Rugby League games are played at such a furious pace, decisions need to be swift and correct. Referees and touchies don’t always get it right. Who can blame them when they’re getting just over $30 a game! Something for the Fair Work Commission to look into.
7/9/2022 • 38 minutes, 55 seconds
Rugby League Purity
With the economy suffering from stagflation, why aren’t we teaching Rugby League in schools? If we are going to expand the game, then we need to start with the kids! Not teaching the sicko stuff, we’re talk’in Rugby League purity.
7/2/2022 • 31 minutes, 27 seconds
ORIGIN SPECIAL – Dipsy doodle around the back door
Rugby League players have a reputation for taking their pants down. If Teddy Tedesco and co are going to continue with this caper, then maybe we should have a betting market and capitalise on this State of Origin phenomenon.
6/26/2022 • 51 minutes, 39 seconds
Golf's forgotten man quits
HG fought back tears reading a personal letter from Mark Hensby announcing his retirement from golf at year’s end. As HG lifted his heavy, blood shot eyes (sadness related), he said to Roy, “dragg’in the bag gets ya down”. Not a true word has been spoken.
6/25/2022 • 32 minutes, 26 seconds
Rugby League Loss Leave
Mark from Toowoomba suggested Rugby League leave. If your team suffers a shock loss and you need to grieve, your employer will stump up, fully paid loss leave for you to cope with the trauma and help pay the bills in these tough times.
6/18/2022 • 31 minutes, 18 seconds
Master of bias, wonderful sense of length
Bias – a term thrown around in Rugby League circles. Is it a term familiar with referees? Of course, especially when it comes to State of Origin, and length? A ref knows when to end a game, when Queensland’s in front!
6/11/2022 • 17 minutes
The Greg Dowling 4 piece dish and salad bowl set
Darren shared a great idea for Rugba League memorabilia. A whole shelf full of footy greats and events from the past, beautifully displayed on plates and bowls. Something for all the forgotten quiet Australians to collect.